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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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I always wonder how skz would react to an s/o with a LARGE SEX DRIVE SHSBDBS idk like guys r usually super horny but imagine if u were hornier than them HAHA

BRRRAH QUICK REACTION POST!

warnings: mostly dom!skz x gn!reader. impact play, nicknames, hickies, masturbation, exhibitionism, overstimulation, slight dacryphilia, sex toys, daddy kink, riding, degradation, dumbification.

Bangchan:

The thing is not that he wouldn’t like it,,, more like he would be tired?

Sure,,, he has good stamina but he would more prefer longer sex sessions that are more intimate and romantic rather than a bunch of quickies.

but thats like... 95% of the time, the remaining 5% is dicking you down so hard you won’t be able to walk because “you asked for it, you dumb fuck”

BUT THATS RARE

you would really have to get him worked up in order for that to work

and even then he would only go for maybe 2 rounds

“c-chan... one more time~” you said after cumming for the third time that night. “y/n, arent you sleepy?” he says, chuckling. you shake your head, “just one more time!” you say all giddy to which bangchan sighed.

Minho:

ok now hear me out, im not gonna mix astrology in here,,, but i am going to mix astrology in here lmao

this boy a scorpio

a scorpio

meaning his intimate parts rule over his body (JUST SAYING TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

so he loves this. A LOT

any opportunity to be inside of you he’ll take

he’s hella horny and would like a s/o that matches that aura so HEY! fits perfectly (thats what she said)

show any sign of a sexual act and he wont hesitate to slam you against a table

legit as small as licking a lollipop

“stop that unless you want my dick in your throat” he says, not even looking up from his phone as the sounds of you sucking a lollipop fills the room. you don’t stop, no, you go even harder. he looks up from his phone. “is that a yes?”

Changbin:

ahh... binnie binnie is head over heals for this

he finds it extremely hot that you initiate the sex most of the time

it shows that you really want him

and he likes attention and feeling appreciated so this works

also has kind of a firey attitude

meaning that he gets worked up real quick

just like minho it doesnt take much for him to notice your sexual signs

“binnie~ i need you” you whisper in his ear as he’s working on something on his computer. you drag your lips across his neck and nibble on his ear before he turns around and glares at you with dark eyes. “princess/prince wanna play that game huh?”

Hyunjin:

shy to initiate so this makes it easier for him

his stamina is relativly high

but i feel like there would be kiiind of a gap between the two of you since he’d be completely exhausted after a couple of rounds but you beg for more.

leaving him with no other choice but to give it to you

since he loves you too much to say no ><

i feel like he’d make fun of you for it

LMAO I DONT KNOW WHY BUT JUST HE’D FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS SO DESPERATE

“hyunjin,, please!” you says in the nicest tone you could muster but only being mocked by hyunjin copying you in an annoying voice

“HyUnJiiinNn~” you burst into laughter, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “thats what you sound like y/n!!”

but nah most of the time he will take it but always with some playfulness first.

Jisung:

HORNY TEENAGER JISUNG AGENDA

all the time

no matter where or when

some of yall are about to be real mad at me but it must be said HASHAHAH STOP CHER STOP

he just gives me this hormonal teenager vibe

and so there’s a lot of fucking in a lot of unconventional places

simply because his angel wants it

it even borders to him being even hornier than you but you find joy in that

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught him watching porn or masturbating BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFTEN

and everytime it would lead to heated sex that could last for hours

“h-help me y/n! dont just stand there s-staring” he says, blushing a bit as he openly strokes his dick infront of you. you shrug your shoulders, closing the bedroom door and inching closer to the warm boy.

Felix:

tough one to read... hmmm....

honestly he wouldn’t mind

sure he’d be tired

and therefore he’d rather prefer seeing you ride a dildo or something

because then you’re satisfied and he doesnt have to do much

NOT THAT HE’S LAZY

just that he likes to cuddle and chill more than being inside of you all the time

he’s sensitive which has its pros and cons

pro: easy to get horny

con: easily overstimulated

WHICH SURE you’d find it fun to torture him by keeping him cumming over and over again

but poor boy would be crying in the end

which only added to your horniness OOP

“y/n,, s-stop please im begging you,, ahhgh..” he moans from underneath you, you putting him through his fourth orgasm which is causing him to shake and cry as you didn’t stop riding him. “mhm... but I wanna cum once more, not fair... you can cum so many times but I can’t! be a good boy and shut up, maybe i’ll let you go after this round”

Seungmin:

giving me that same energy that chan has

but this time instead of 95:5 its more like 65:35

meaning 65% romantic puppy that wants to take his time with you, roaming his hands all over your body and really connecting with you

and the other 35% well... more like relentless pounding, all covered in love bites and hand prints (im drooling)

he becomes all hard dom when he’s stressed and soo...

you get him stressed which ok you feel bad about but... he gets to release all his stress (and cum) on you and you get what you want

DING DING DING! win-win situation!!

so yeah he would like it most of the time especially when you’re stressed and especially when you’re a brat

turning him on by rubbing on his lap but running away the next second

he likes to make you obey rather than you already obeying.

he was watching tv peacefully when you suddenly plopped down on his lap, starting to squirm about when watching a tv show. he held you down by the waist. “shh stop” he says once with a bitter tone but you didn’t listen, only continuing to move and feeling his member getting harder. “Is d-daddy getting hard?” you coo at him with a mischievous voice to which seungmin sighed, his hands snaking around your upper body and wrapping around your neck, pushing your back against his chest. “little fucker wanna play with daddy”

oml why did this become so aggressive i have a lot of pent up sexual frustration ASHASHS

Jeongin:

he’d find it really hot in the beginning

but what he didn’t realise was how tiring sex is

yk teenagers! learning as they go (i like how im talking about this as if im older than him LMAO)

catch his search history being: “is it normal to have sex everyday”

he’d be sore :((

and when he told you that he probably needed to just cuddle he felt bad because he always wanted to please you

but the two of you would find your ways around it

vibrators EHHEHE

especially those remote control ones

he’d just go ham with those I KNOW IT

because just like felix, you’d be satisfied and he could chill for the time being

beg pretty enough and he’ll give you the real thing

“b-but i need you now jeongin! stop with that fucking controller!!” you try to snatch it out of his hand but fail. “say please” he says, looking at you with sweet brown eyes. “pl-pleaseeee~!” he melts into a puddle of blushes as he speaks “alright but only because you’re a good one”

HEY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN WRITING!! send in sum more, i’ll make them into short reactions like these because my requests for the “official” reactions is closed (will probably open shortly) but YEEEAH

thank u anon for your very very smart brain and for requesting HEH ><

also this is not proof read so ignore any mistakes OOP

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holycalf · 3 years

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i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

“I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him?

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which, “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love” assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with, then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori?

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) )

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

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mistocore · 4 years

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Mistoffelees brain dump

Hello! I’ve had a lot of thoughts about Mistoffelees specifically so this is a brain dump. Sorry if my points are long and convoluted I just really need to get this information onto paper before I loose it!! This is going to be a lot of rambling, specifically about Jacob Brent’s Mistoffelees, so please enjoy or not! I dont care this is just a dump.

Most of it is incessant Tuggeroffelees rambles,, sorry

----

I think about how at the Jellicle ball in the ‘98 film, Mistoffelees always looks so curious and excited to dance with the others. I love how he imitates the other male cats and even has his own little dance by himself,,, I like to think its his second or third jellicle ball and he doesnt really know how to act still so he mirrors the other male cats and tries to impress the others with some cool dance moves and tricks he knows in order to feel like hes a part of the group.

I love how adoringly Bomba always looks at him in background scenes too ;; like when he messes up during the beginning of the Gumbie cat and you can see her laughing in the background for a split moment. I think they have an unspoken bond and a very strong friendship where she supports him no matter what. Where she is a queen and Mistoffelees is in an age between a kitten and an adult cat, she takes the role of a big sister / mother figure toward him, its helpful toward Mistoffelees.

I also have really taken a light to shipping Mistoffelees with Alonzo because of how playful Al is with him. I love watching their interactions and them dancing together,, they’re super cute. I think Alonzo is seen as a ‘bad influence’ and a playful more mischevious cat with a cocky attitude that, unlike Tugger, he often recieves a scolding for. However, Mistoffelees thinks hes really cool and Alonzo recieving this praise only makes him continue to act out more as it impresses Mistoffelees.

I think Tugger and him work best romantically, as we all agree im sure, as they both are at the same age of being in the tribe where they haven’t quite gotten everything figured out yet. I feel Tugger is the oldest of that kind of group, where he isn’t exactly as old as Skimbleshanks (if he were human id say Skimble would be around 50-60) or Munkustrap (if he were human id say he’s in his late 20s), but he’s surely older than his ‘boys club’ of Plato, Pouncival, Alonzo and Tumblebrutus. If Tugger were human I would stick him at around 20-21 and the other boys at around 18. I feel that Mistoffelees is the youngest of this, entering his adulthood, fresh-faced and ready to figure out who he is, however, I don’t think he knows how. Tugger picks up on this, of course, and acts as a guide and a mentor since he has been there a little longer and understands what its like to be in his position.

Continuing with this thought, I think Tugger helped Mistoffelees with his proposal to Old Deut. It was originally meant to be a performance of him dazzling the others with his talent for magic and illusion, but upon Deuteronomys kidnapping, Tugger went to him in a panic and Mistoffelees knew he had a solution.

I like how during the number at first Tugger calls him JUST ‘Mr. Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat” and then it spirrals into him literally shouting to the other Cats toward the end ‘MAGICAL, MARVELLOUS MR MISTOFFELEES!’. The emotion and power John Partridge put into that number never fails to make me cry like a baby because I just HEAR how happy Tugger is with how far hes come and he knows that he has played a part in helping Mistoffelees overcome his anxieties and insecurities. Afterward, I like to think he thanks Tugger for everything hes done for him and the two decide to pursue something more than a friendship. I think the song perfectly represents Mistoffelees’s blossom into adulthood and maturity as he’s able to finally get his chance to show the other jellicles what hes made of!! and boy does he do it INCREDIBLY WELL.

I also never noticed that Tugger is actually copying HIM during his own number which is so so cute ;-; I like to think Tugger being his hypeman is so well needed and deserved because Tugger knows things like this (big events with a lot of the jellicles) makes Mistoffelees nervous, so he takes to mirroring his dance moves and mannerisms to affirm him and make him feel welcomed, such as Mistoffelees would do at the ball with the other male cats. Since Tugger seems to be an idol for the same cats hes impersonating and mirroring, Mistoffelees takes this as a huge comfort and it allows him to feel more safe and accepted into the tribe because the cat that is so sought after and praised by others is actually taking an interest in him and copying HIM and HIM only.

I really overall believe Jacob Brent’s Mistoffelees, whereas this is a popular opinion, is the best Mistoffelees. He was perfectly casted, perfectly excecuted and overall he had so much fun with the role to the point where i really believe that HE is a cat. I love him so much!!

Thank u if u read! Feel free to reply!

#haha hyperfixation go brrr #its real adhd hours #cats #cats musical #cats 1998 #mr mistoffelees #mistoffelees

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zombiequincy · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela AGE: 21 CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise !

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!!

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @bazzardburner cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu @blooming5th @viciousvizard @glacies-tempestatem and whoever else wishes to do this!!

#dash games #// this took ages....

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redwoodrroad · 4 years

Text

arkus’s birthday and some background info on him

SO ive been very busy with work these past two weeks AND sick with several things SO NOW TO MAKE UP FOR MISSING ARKUS’S BIRTHDAY (WHICH WAS ON JANUARY 3RD), im gonna talk about his research

here he is hard at work in his favorite part of the Priory: the ~secret~ library

everything else is under the cut because there’s a lot of science babble, but i do hope it’s fun to read if youre into science as much as i am. i also included some sylvari-centric stuff at the end because it’s specific to arkus

so simply put: Arkus’s concentration is on a mixture among anthropology (not just human-centered either), archaeology, and geology. separately, these sciences are completely different and require different skill sets, mindsets, tools, and research tactics, but these sciences also intersect in many ways and tell a fuller and more comprehensive story when put together. consider a nomadic culture that subsists on farming and animal products: they make clear boundaries in the land between where you sleep, where you eat, where you grow the food, where you cook the food, where you prepare animal parts either for consumption in one area or the creation of materials or clothing, ETC, my point is that this group needs a specific type of landscape to settle--that type of landscape needs to be sheltered enough from weathering and predators while also close to a water source, and the land itself must contain the right nutrients to grow crops; furthermore, the general landscape must be well-liked by large animals that are high enough in quantity that the group can sustain themselves on these animals and not risk endangering the population. the geology of the earth itself, the makeup of the land, is vastly important to this culture because it deigns where they can live and how they can survive in that area

of course, when they move away, they leave behind an imprint in the land itself--these cultures are not the type to necessarily bury their dead for fear of leaving them behind, but that’s also an extrapolation on my part so i cant definitively say that, but theyre also not necessarily the type to waste or throw away animal parts--so this group might not necessarily leave the obvious archeological choice of bones behind, but bones are not the only types of fossils that exist, and they certainly arent the main focus of archaeologists on digs: archeologists are looking for everything in an area--remains of encampments, clothing, pottery, tools, etc. these are the things a nomadic group might leave behind if theyre broken or unusable or perhaps if a disaster struck, and great swaths of belongings had to be left behind. lots of things are left behind when a group like this moves away--furthermore, evidence of a large group living in a place for what we can assume is several years to decades can almost always be found in each of those locations for a culture that is nomadic. archaeologists look for that evidence, and it’s the sort of thing they can follow like a map to see the direction in which this group moved

of course, the culture of that group itself is very important and just as fascinating as the prior fields of research: consider whether this group in my example might have a hierarchy--are elders the leaders of the group? is there a matriarch or a patriarch? how are children raised, and are they raised in a manner that separates them by gender, combined with the types of work or activities these genders are expected to perform? i read about a culture where the women did the foraging and held baskets at all times, and the men did the hunting and held bows and arrows at all times, but before this makes you mad and think that this culture might have been very strict on their gender conforming, the only gender “marker” in this society was that of the baskets or the bows. regardless of sex or gender at birth--concepts this culture had no definition of beyond the gendered tasks--if you wanted to hold a basket, you are a woman; if you wanted to hold a bow, you are a man. and you’re held to that standard until you decide you want to change that. there are also cultures ive read about where food is very closely linked with the cycle of life--there are some foods you eat when you are young, there are some foods you eat when someone is pregnant, and there are items to eat when someone dies, and everything has a very specific meaning assigned to it along with when and how those items are consumed.

all of these fields coalesce in different ways, and my passion for it is also Arkus’s. i imagine he goes out several times a year to conduct field research--something that is also very particular, and no two people do field research the same way, especially when it comes to soft sciences. i will also say that Arkus’s preferred style of research is one that has a little bit of discourse in the science community, and that is that he lets himself get involved with the culture.

in the soft science world, there are two pretty big styles: Positivism and Antipositivism (also called Interpretivism but ive definitely heard it called naturalism too). positivism is clean-cut--it’s objective and empirical scientific Fact. we’re talking quantitative data analysis, objective reasoning and observation (observation ONLY), and a clear separation between Scientist and Subject.

antipositivism is the opposite--it’s not all data points and “objective” observation because to observe a culture without being part of it is not objective at all. you’re not learning about the culture if youre just watching it; you’re watching this culture from an outsider’s perspective, and from an outsider’s perspective with a completely different cultural background in mind, you will not understand the significance to any cultural action in front of you. in this way, the scientist is not separating themselves from the “subject(s);” rather, the outsider is interacting with and empathizing with the insiders. it’s a completely different mindset and one that yields results that almost cannot be measured on data points or spreadsheets.

(if you cant tell, i am an antipositivist lol)

Arkus is an antipositivist: he finds positivist thinking to be too clinical and perhaps inappropriate for his research purposes. that said, he goes out and locates groups like the vague culture i described above, and he learns about them through empathic interaction and openness. he doesnt always publish his work, but he does always ask his participants if they would like to be participants, and if not, then he helps them if they would like the interaction or leaves if they would prefer he not stick around. and that’s okay too! what he does publish is always very lengthy and involves detailed diagrams of rock formations, tools, structures, the landscape, etc, and if he’s in a position to do a dig, he may take samples of the landscape back to the Priory for further testing, especially when it comes to carbon dating or whatever the tyrian equivalent might be (the lifeforms are PROBABLY carbon based on tyria but you never know lol). at this point in the story, Arkus has been doing research for several years now--i haven’t decided when he becomes an archon, but it’s certainly his biggest career goal overall. i think it’s probably tough though because archons typically oversee really dangerous magics and sciences, so one of these days, Arkus will find a way to present his work as especially useful for that specific realm of study

i also think that with arkus’s background in a culture that is largely mysterious to other cultures is also part of why arkus has his passion for his work. to learn and discover things about culture while being simultaneously respectful and open to differences is very important to arkus, and it’s something that his culture has a particular closeness with given their history with--for EXAMPLE--the asura. no tea no shade but arkus isnt trying to be that type of way--but they also changed and got better over time; now arkus just has beef with the inquest because their research style and scientific process is the exact opposite of how arkus wants to be

i should also say--and i havent really seen really problematic evidence of this in the game--that research organizations such as the durmand priory have a tendency to be sorta...... grabby with their research. like there’s a big scientific attitude towards discovery in the modern world where the scientist(s) who discovered something feel Entitled to that discovery. it’s very western and ethnocentric, and it’s Bad. western scientists discovering x y z historic item that is important to an overseas culture’s history does not belong in a western museum or lab, i dont make the rules! unfortunately, the western scientists make the rules so like thems the brakes but let the record show i hate that

arkus is very aware of this scientific tendency to want to hold on to discoveries and sort of keep them close--safe even, in priory custody--but he also recognizes that it’s wrong to do that, so he specifically finds ways to work around that so the culture in mind gets to keep their history. sharing history and culture is really good and healthy for all cultures, but ONLY if that sharing isn’t forced or pressured onto the culture in question. arkus lives by that rule!

anyway, this was obviously just a way for me to gush about science under the guise of my character’s belated birthday, but i hope it was informative! i had fun with it ;u; and i’ll start drawing my characters again too dhfgadjfhg soon i hope

thank you for reading!

#guild wars 2 #sylvari #redwoods words #arkus tag

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pinkykitten · 5 years

Text

Roses

The Good Doctor

Neil Melendez x female! reader

Warning: abusive ex, talking about abuse, violence

Specifics: angst, romance, fluff, comedy, race neutral reader, one-shot

People: neil melendez, shaun murphy, greg (oc)

Words: 2,344

Requested: By anon Okay hi I'm thirsty for a fluffy protection type fiction. Like maybe Niel Melendez brings his girlfriend out for a nice dinner and shopping day and they end up seeing their abusive ex that decides to confront them so he gets protective (he's got them big muscules so 😂) and idk take it fron there i guess? Please and thank you! 💙💙

Authors Note: ok first off this is a very touchy subject and if u r in a abusive relationship or know some one who is in one pls get help, u dont deserve this treatment and ask someone for help, call someone, call the hotline for ur area this is a very serious subject. i hope i did justice in that area for survivors. i also chose this gif because i luv seeing my bby kissing and like hes just soooo handsome, us good folks all deserve a melendez in our life! also i read that flower in japanese is hana if its not im srry i found it on google.

“So you’re gonna join me at 7 tonight right?” Your boyfriend Neil asked as he stepped behind you, kissing your head.

“Babe we’re at work,” you chuckled, turning around and greeting his precious, handsome face. His lips curled into a smile, “you think I care, I’m showing my girl some love.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips lightly, “of course I’m gonna be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You pecked his cheek and then whispered your parting into his ear, “I can’t wait for you to see how tight my dress is on me.”

“If you keep talking like that I might just want to skip dinner and eat something else instead.”

You rolled your eyes, hitting his shoulder playfully, “forward aren't we today Neil!” As Neil was about to proceed in his flirtatious attitude Shaun showed up and gave his innocent face to the two of you. “What are you two discussing?”

You found that it was your time to leave so you gave a little wave and let Neil take that embarrassing question for the team, “I know babe you’ll come up with a good answer to Shaun.”

You were very excited to meet up with Neil for dinner. He was taking you somewhere that you always wanted to go, according to him. See, the dinner or more like where it is taken at is a surprise. You have not a clue where Neil is taking you. It made you bubbly on the inside towards the day.

Taking the day into your hands you got out of work early so you could have time to doll yourself up.

When you arrived home you took a shower, put makeup on, and then slipped on your dress. As you took a look in the mirror at your self you were unsure. “I don’t know, is this too much?” You questioned a loud, peering at yourself from side to side. Thats when you heard a knock at your door. “Oh well too late now.”

You touched up on your lips real quick with your makeup and ran to the door in your heels. Taking a couple of breaths you opened to find Neil.

“Hi babe, wow you look,” your words were stuck in your throat. You eyed him up and down and swallowed harshly. “Wow, you look so, so, so-”

“Look at you,” he whispered, almost like to himself. He was looking at you up and down as well but he looked at you as if you were the most beautiful star in the galaxy. His eyes shone with love, having a little twinkle in them. He was head over heels for you, he was in love. “You look gorgeous baby.”

You smiled away, bashful, “You look amazing as well.”

Neil brought his hand out for you to take hold. He guided you to his car, opening the door for you like a gentleman, “oh you didn’t need to do that.”

Neil bent down to capture your lips in a kiss, “I wanted to though.”

On your way to the surprise restaurant you couldn’t help but try to guess where he was taking you. He would sternly give you a look and then you would pout making him give in and give you hints.

“Okay we’re here.” Your head shot up to the restaurant. E/c eyes opening wide and bright you squeal in shock. “No way babe, you got a reservation for this restaurant? I’ve wanted to come here for so long, how did you know?”

Neil took a hold of your hand and was giggling at how adorable you were acting, “y/n you talk about this place all the time. Let me tell you it wasn’t easy getting reservations but I kinda had to pull a few strings.”

You embraced Neil and kissed him repeatedly all over the face, “I. LOVE. YOU. SO. MUCH!”

“I love you too, now c’mon.”

You two walked to the restaurant and it was as if you stepped into a fairy tale book. There were chandeliers gleaming and sparkling like diamonds, hanging delicately from the roof. There was gold embroidery on almost everything. A live band playing jazz music was there. All the guests look so sophisticated and glamorous with their outfits on. You were astonished. “Oh my god this is so classy, I can’t believe I’m here.”

Neil places his hand on your lower back to escort you to the table that the waiter had for you two. You both sat by a window, overseeing the city. The lights were bright and small making it seem like fireflies. As you looked down below you could see people walking, minding their own business.

“Thank you for taking me here. I’m so happy to be here with you. This is the best surprises.”

Neil grabbed your hand and kissed it, “well get used to it. There’s gonna be more surprises along the road. You chuckled and lightly touched his leg with yours, “who knows maybe I have a surprise up my sleeve for you today.” You flirted to him as he raised his brow.

You two dined fine that afternoon. Laughing, flirting, just having yourself a good time that is until you saw him. You look up into his eyes, your heart and world seem to stop. Its only him and you. It is your ex from your college days, only a couple of years ago did you break up with him. He was a monster. He would abuse you verbally but also physically. Your eyes widen and you are brought back in the present with Neil’s voice. “You okay sweetheart?”

You almost choke on your food but nod not wanting him to worry, “yes I’m fine.” The ex comes to your table with a new woman. She seems to have a bad attitude. “Why if it isn’t y/n l/n. How are you?”

As he gets closer to the table you see clearly his face again. That dam* face, still to this day gives you nightmares. Neil never knew about him because you felt that it was not necessary to tell him of this information. You were quiet with your answer, looking down and not at him, “fine.”

Neil took note of this and knew something was up, he was worried. “How do you two know each other?”

“Oh he’s just an old-”

“We used to date, I’m Greg.”

Neil was about to give his name when Greg stopped him, he shook his hand and said, “no need Mr. Melendez. I know all about you. You’re that doctor in that hospital with that autistic kid. Must have a hel* of a lot stories with him.”

“Actually he’s very good with his job, he’s one of the best.” Neil answered back.

“Now what do you do again y/n?”

“I’m a doctor at the same hospital. We work together.” Your hands found themselves twisting and clutching the table cloth. You did not act like yourself.

“Oh how nice, are you two together?”

Neil nodded and grabbed your hand, reassuring you and showing that you two are together to your old ex, feeling a bit jealous. “Yes we are actually. She’s the best thing thats ever happened to me.”

“Thats funny I remember when I used to say that. Man, it seems like a million years ago.”

You could tell Neil was getting over protective of you the way his jaw clenched whenever that wrenched man ever talked about your past relationship with him.

“I always told y/n though, when she told me she wanted to be a doctor, to reach for something more...possible. Now look! She’s done the thing she wanted to do, maybe I some what some way encouraged her.” He laughed evilly at the end of his statement.

“Well I’ve always told y/n that she can do anything she puts her mind to. She’s very hard working and that is one of the many things that I love about her,” Neil was almost about to break the knife he was holding. His eyes were burning with anger. He was boiling on the inside. His jaw was clenching and he was almost shaking at how rude this man was to you.

The man took notice of it and wanted to play with fire. He placed his tough hands that were rough looking on your shoulder, close to your neck. “Its a shame, as I recall me and y/n had some wonderful times together. Didn’t we sweetheart?”

Your breathing was coming out in short breaths, your nostrils flaring. Tears almost about to spill. You were frightened. If Neil wasn’t here you would of gotten up and ran away, but you didn’t want to form a show. You nodded to his question. His hand lingered too long on you for Neil’s liking. Greg’s fingers stroking where he used to strangle you when you two were together and then as you were about to pass out he would let you take a breath. He liked to be the leader, the man capable of deciding whether you lived or died. You started to shake with fear and Neil had enough. He abruptly stood up, his muscles showing full well through his tight suit. He looked as if he wanted to punch Greg straight in the jaw. Neil walked so close to Greg you were worried they were about to fight.

“Don’t touch her.” Neil ordered, his voice rough almost a bark.

“Excuse me?”

Neil pointed a finger at him, “I said don’t touch her. Get your ungrateful hands off her.”

Greg looked like he was the victim and placed his hands by his side. “You can have the whore, she wasn’t good any ways.”

Neil almost lunged himself at the man but you blocked Neil and stopped him. You placed a hand on his cheek to get him to only pay attention to you. “Hey babe its okay look at me, please don’t worry about him.” Neil tried to focus on his breathing and his temper, leaning his forehead against yours. As he sat down, almost calm, you saw that he bent the knife all the way so that it looked like a c. As things were settled you felt the heat of it all on you at that moment and needed fresh air.

“I think I’m done here,” you wiped your mouth with the napkin and ran to the exit. Tears streaming down your face.

Neil tried to stop you, calling out your name. He was very worried about you.

You sprinted outside and sat on a nearby bench away from everyone. There you sobbed, all of the monstrous things that Greg did coming back to you and haunting you.

“Baby,” you heard Neil’s voice as he came up to you. “Baby whats wrong?”

He sat beside you and looked at your face. Your cheeks stained with tears. Neil’s arm found themselves around your shoulder. “Please y/n tell me whats wrong?”

“That man inside the restaurant. Its true what he says that we were together, but when I was with him he, he beat me. Neil he used to beat me so many times a day, he hurt me so bad.” You sobbed uncontrollably in Neil’s chest. Neil embraced you tighter, kissing your forehead. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“He scared me Neil, I was so scared!”

Neil was shaking with anger. “I’ll kill that man! I’m gonna kill him.” He was being very over protective over you. You were his life.

“No please babe, please don’t. I don’t want you to get into trouble, please.” Your eyes said it all when he looked into them. They were begging.

Neil closed his eyes, they were watery. “Okay.” Was all he could say.

You clutched onto Neil as hard as you could. Just wanting him to be with you and to just have his presence. He made you feel safe and calm.

“I promise nobody will ever hurt you again,” he whispered into your ear. Kissing your face then your lips, showing you how much he truly loves you.

Neil was there for you. He comforted you by patting your back and whispering how much he loves you.

“How are you feeling?”

You sniffled and looked up at Neil. Neil wiped your tears away and kissed your cheek. You smiled and basked in his love, “I’m doing better thanks.”

“Why don’t we do something that’ll cheer you up. I mean you look so beautiful I don’t want this beauty to go to waste.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Neil grabbed your hand and brought you to an unknown store named, “Hana.”

“Hmm what is he up to?”

After a few minutes Neil came out of the store. He hid something behind his back, his dimples showing on his handsome face as he grins at you.

“Another surprise?” You asked as you tried to see behind him.

“Here its for you, to make you feel better.” Neil pulled the gift from behind. It was a bouquet of roses.

You felt like crying...again! This man treated you so spectacularly. He treated you like a princess, always wanting you to feel happy. It was silence, you looked at the roses and started to tear up, “they are so beautiful babe.”

“I thought you needed some cheering up. A gift to show you how much you mean to me.”

You smelled the roses but then placed them delicately in the bag. You placed both your hands on Neil’s face and inched closer to him, “I love you so much.”

Your lips joined in unison. You opened your mouth wider to kiss more fiercely. You moaned in the kiss, “I love you so much. I love you so much.”

You two separated and Neil brought you protectively close to him. His arms feeling like a comforting cage around you, they were thick and strong. “I love you too baby.”

You two walked together, enjoying the rest of the night and not caring about any body else except you two’s love.

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

#the good doctor #fanfiction #race neutral reader #the good doctor imagine #dr neil melendez #neil melendez #neil melendez x reader #x reader #neil melendez imagine #imagines #requested #i love this man so much like WOWWWWEEEEE #he is like a prince #i loved writing this #we all need more tgd #tgd #tgd imagine

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frywen-babbles · 5 years

Text

Sounds of Silence pt2

A/N: TW: mentions of assault/violence

Mitsunari was woken from his studying by a bling from his phone. For a moment he felt irritated but grabbed his phone anyway to check who had bothered to interrupt him.

[18:03:27] << bookshy >> can u talk?

He was thrown back by the question. Usually 'bookshy' just started to talk without knowing if he was online or not. Why the question now?

[18:04:05] << ManjuDreamer >> Yes. What is it?

He stared at his phone, waiting for another message, that didn’t seem to come. He was just about to put his phone down when another bling alerted him.

[18:08:57] << bookshy >> in bad place rn.

He had no idea what to answer, so he just waited for another message.

[18:10:40] << bookshy >> could we meet?

This time he was too surprised to answer. How many times over the years they had known each other he had asked to meet him, only to be turned down over and over again until he stopped asking.

[18:12:24] << bookshy >> sry [18:12:25] << bookshy >> frget what i said [18:12:25] << bookshy >> ttyl

Mitsunari panicked and quickly replied.

[18:12:28] << ManjuDreamer >> no we can meet [18:12:54] << bookshy >> u sure? [18:13:16] << ManjuDreamer >> Yes. Where do you want us to meet?

For a moment Mitsunari thought that ‘bookshy’ had backed out of the meeting when his phone lighted up as another message came.

[18:17:59] << bookshy >> ur place? i promise i b gon as soon as u want [18:18:01] << bookshy >> u dont even have 2 let me in [18:18:05] << bookshy >> plz?

He hesitated for a moment. Why did 'bookshy' suddenly want to come to his place all of a sudden? Wouldn’t it make more sense to meet in somewhere public? Still. They had known each other for years, there was no way someone would keep up appearance for that long if they weren’t who they said they were.

[18:18:52] << ManjuDreamer >> Okay. I’ll send you the address.

He quickly typed his address and waited for an answer.

[18:19:27] << bookshy >> b thr in 45

He looked at the clock. He just had enough time to run to the nearby grocery store to get something to eat before 'bookshy' came. What had he told him he liked? Maybe it would come back to him when he went to the store and could get some of his favourites.

This was going to be so awkward.

Sure he had known 'bookshy' since he was in his early teens. But it was so different talking to someone online than in person. Online you got to know people backwards. Learnt about their interests and hobbies before anything you'd learn from a person you met in real life. Even with 'bookshy' Mitsunari had learnt about his dreams and desires but still knew nearly nothing about his family outside of some trouble he was having with his mother. And he had spoken to him about things he hadn't even dared to talk to Hideyoshi about.

He was just stuffing the last of the sodas into the fridge when he felt the buzzing of his phone in his pocket.

[19:07:32] << bookshy >> im behind ur door [19:07:33] << bookshy >> i thnk

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. A young woman whose cheek was red and swollen and lip split. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless of times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about, who- no never mind that.

She made a hasty bow and looked straight at him, a barely noticeable frown between her brows. The longer he looked at her, the more she fidgeted, changing her weight from one foot to another, her eyes shifting all over his face, but the small polite smile never faltered. She crumbled the fabric of her sleeves in her hands before she reached for her pocket and took her phone.

She quickly typed something and looked at him expectantly. His phone buzzed with a new message and he reached for it confused.

[19:10:01] << bookshy >> its u isnt it

When he looked at her again, she bit her lip so hard it bled, a frown between her brows but she quickly fixed her face blank. Every now and then she glanced nervously at the hallway at the direction of the staircase. She fumbled with her phone again and showed it to him. The same message that was on his phone shone from her screen, blowing away any doubt Mitsunari might have had if she was ‘bookshy’ or not. She typed something on her phone and soon Mitsunari’s phone buzzed again.

[19:11:27] << bookshy >> sry this was bad idea ill go

She turned to leave, but Mitsunari quickly reached for her arm.

“Ah!” she let out a high-pitched yelp and took a quick step away from him, her eyes darting from his hands to his face and back. She fumbled with her phone again, but Mitsunari waved his hand to get her attention.

[19:12:03] << ManjuDreamer >> Come in. Please?

She looked up from her phone at him for reassurance and he stepped aside gesturing for her to step inside. Something was wrong with her. No matter how shocked he was after finding out who bookshy really was, there was no way he could let her leave after seeing the condition she was in. She stepped inside but just awkwardly stood there, glancing around the apartment.

[19:13:04] << ManjuDreamer >> Sit down, I’ll make some tea.

She looked at her phone and sat down at the corner of the sofa. Mitsunari filled the electric kettle, glancing at her every chance he got. Her eyes shifted from him around his apartment and she fidgeted with her phone. Everything about her posture and movements told Mitsunari how nervous she was, despite her face retaining an indifferent expression.

[19:17:45] << ManjuDreamer >> Here’s tea. [19:17:49] << ManjuDreamer >> I’ll be back shortly. Don’t leave.

She looked at her phone and up at him and nodded, reaching for the teacup. Mitsunari had no idea what to do. Was he supposed to ask her what had happened? Why did she come here? Didn’t she have friends or family who she could have turned to?

“Hideyoshi? I need help.” He called the only person he felt he could turn to, as the other person was currently sitting in their living room.

“Sure! What do you need?”

“I… a… friend came over suddenly and-“

“A friend?” Hideyoshi sounded baffled, but Mitsunari just took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“Yes. A friend. May I continue now?”

“Yeah, sure. A friend came over, why do you need my help in that?” Mitsunari heard some snickering from the background but decided to ignore it.

“… I think someone assaulted them.”

“I see.” Hideyoshi’s tone turned serious immediately and Mitsunari could hear him leaving whoever was laughing at the background. “Do you want me to come home? I’ll be there in a few if you need me?”

“Yes… no… I don’t know? What should I say…?”

“You could always ask… them… what happened?” Mitsunari ignored the pointed emphasis on the word ‘them’ Hideyoshi had made. As far as he was concerned, it was none of Hideyoshi’s business who he invited over. Especially after all the girls Hideyoshi had brought over in the past.

“Yeah…”

“Do they have a safe place to stay?”

“…I don’t know…”

“Why don’t you start with that and I’ll be there in a while, okay?”

“…Yeah…”

When Mitsunari stepped out of his room, she was nowhere in sight. She couldn’t have left, could she? At the state she was in? He was almost out of the door so he could run after her when the bathroom door hit him. She looked at him, her eyes wide, a slight tremor on her lower lip.

‘It’s okay’ Mitsunari signed. She looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. Tears just started to roll down her cheeks and she stepped back into the bathroom locking the door after her. He heard something thud against the door and the sobs that followed told him she was probably leaning against the door.

He had no idea what to do. What were you supposed to do when a woman locks herself in your bathroom to cry?

He sat on the floor next to the bathroom door and reached for his phone.

[19:23:49] << ManjuDreamer >> It’s okay to come out.

He heard the buzz of her phone from the living room. Shit, how was he supposed to talk to her now?

A light knock on the door alerted him and he opened the door to find Hideyoshi behind it. For once, he wasn’t smiling.

“Did you talk to your friend already?” he asked, his voice hushed as he peered behind Mitsunari.

“No. I don’t think they want to talk.”

“I could ask if they want to talk to me? I mean… sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stran…ger…” Hideyoshi’s words faded when he heard her blowing her nose through the bathroom door. Both of them stared at the closed door before Hideyoshi finally stepped inside and knocked lightly on the door. “Hey, you okay in there? You know, you’re safe in here. Mitsunari might have a nasty attitude, but he won’t harm you.”

Mitsunari opened his mouth to protest but instead, he sighed and rolled his eyes and walked to his room. The sound of her phone buzzing with new messages was almost drowned by Hideyoshi’s soft voice when he tried to talk to her through the door.

“Here.” He pushed a pen and some paper to Hideyoshi’s hands. Hideyoshi looked at the paper and at the pen before he looked up at Mitsunari.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” he asked.

“The paper should fit under the door.”

“You want me to write to them?”

“Yes. Now get on with it.”

“Uh, okay…” Hideyoshi scribbled quickly something on the paper and pushed it under the bathroom door. After a while, they saw the last corner of the paper disappear. There was a silence until they heard what sounded like digging through their cabinets. Finally, the paper appeared under the door again.

‘ur not manjudreamer who r u’

The words were written with what Mitsunari could only assume was one of his makeup pencils.

“Um, ‘manjudreamer’? Is that-“ Hideyoshi got one glance of the glare Mitsunari was giving him, before he smiled that smile of his when he didn’t want anyone to get into trouble, “Uh, nevermind…” He quickly scribbled another note and showed it to Mitsunari before slipping it under the door.

‘A friend of his. Knock on the door if u want me to leave’

Almost as soon as the note disappeared there was a couple of knocks on the door. Hideyoshi let out a sigh before he smiled.

“I’ll just stay with Inuchiyo next door. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Try not to get buried under all those pizza boxes. And don’t bring any vermin home.”

“Come on, it’s not that-“ Hideyoshi stopped when Mitsunari raised his eyebrow at him and he let out a dejected sigh. “No, never mind. He really needs to fix things with his sister. I’ll pack some things and be gone.” Hideyoshi disappeared in his room leaving Mitsunari standing in the hallway alone. Her phone buzzed again and again with new messages, the constant flow of them starting to annoy Mitsunari a bit. He looked at the bathroom door, wishing it could give him all the answers he needed. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The door, like the person behind it, stayed shut.

“Call if you need anything, okay?” Hideyoshi patted him on the shoulder before he headed to the door. “Oh!” He turned back to Mitsunari, “Your friend can sleep in my room for tonight. I changed the sheets.”

As soon as the door closed after Hideyoshi, Mitsunari wrote another note. He pushed it under the door and like the previous notes, it disappeared from the view shortly. Her phone buzzed with new messages again, its constant buzzing starting to annoy him. Someone was obviously missing her, but he was not going to invade her privacy and see what the messages were about.

Mitsunari raked his hand through his hair and retreated to the living room, turning the TV on. Her phone buzzed again.

How long was she going to stay locked up in the bathroom? What if he needed to use it? Would he have to run to that mutt’s apartment? Even the thought made him shudder but just then the bathroom door opened.

She stepped out, avoiding eye contact and walked slowly to the living room, sitting on the corner of the sofa. She lifted up her phone, but almost dropped it when it immediately buzzed with a new message. She looked at the message. Her eyes widened and all the colour drained from her face and she swallowed hard. She put the phone down and took her teacup, sipping at the lukewarm tea.

[20:23:47] << ManjuDreamer >> Do you have a safe place you can go to?

He waved to get her attention and she put her teacup down to look at her phone and shook her head. This time she couldn’t keep the distress from her face. Her brows were furrowed and her lips pursed, but before Mitsunari could get a good look, she turned her head away as if she was ashamed. She reached her right arm to hug herself, but as soon as she touched her left arm she dropped her hand to her lap over her phone.

[20:24:29] << ManjuDreamer >> Take off your hoodie.

She looked at her phone and her eyes widened. Her eyes shot at him and she took a sharp breath shaking her head, her fingers curling tightly around the fabric of her hoodie. Mitsunari sighed. Why couldn’t she see he was just trying to help? He just wanted to see if she was injured. What she obviously was, considering he had not once seen her use her left arm, not to speak about her cheek that was starting to bruise.

[20:25:28] << ManjuDreamer >> Just take it off.

He wanted to call her insufferable dullard for not getting his point. What did she think he meant? He stood up, reaching for her, but immediately froze. As soon as she saw him move, she jerked away from him, her eyes focusing on his every movement, her face purposefully blank. Every muscle in her body was tense. As if she was expecting him to attack her. Something cold coiled around his stomach and he sat back down, letting his hands fall on his lap.

[20:26:38] << ManjuDreamer >> I need to see your arm. You’re obviously hurt.

She didn’t look at her phone. She kept her eyes on him. Investigating him for any threat.

Who did this to her? Judging from her reaction, this wasn’t the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last. Why hadn’t she mentioned anything about this to him before? They talked almost daily and still, she had kept something like this a secret? Mitsunari felt sick to his stomach.

[20:33:15] << ManjuDreamer >> I see you’re hurt.

This time she looked at her phone when she felt the buzz on her lap. Despite her best efforts on keeping her face impassive, Mitsunari could see the inner battle she was having. Emotions from shame to sadness to anger flashed on her face, but finally, she nodded. She removed her hoodie, trying her hardest only to use her right hand. She didn’t look at him, instead kept her eyes locked on the wall. Her arm was only starting to form bruises, but Mitsunari could imagine come tomorrow, there would be plenty more.

[20:37:40] << ManjuDreamer >> Can you move your arm properly?

She looked down at her phone and shook her head. Mitsunari raked his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

[20:38:13] << ManjuDreamer >> I need to take you to the ER. I’ll call a taxi.

She looked at her phone and put it down without any acknowledgement if she even saw the message.

The wait for the taxi felt awkward. Both of them just stared at the television without any attempt at conversation until it was time to go. The short drive to the hospital didn’t go any better and finally, they were standing outside of the emergency room. Mitsunari walked to the door, only to notice she wasn’t following. He walked back to her and tried to gesture her to move forward without actually touching her, but she seemed to ignore him.

Finally, Mitsunari reached his hand towards her, palm up. He could feel his face burning up and he turned away from her to hide his blush. He just wanted her to follow him, damn it! Why did she have to make this so difficult? He felt fingers wrap around his hand and when he mustered the courage to look at her, she had the first genuine smile on her face he had seen all day. Just how stupid was she, getting happy about something like this after what she went through.

#slbp #slbp fanfic #ishida mitsunari #toyotomi hideyoshi #frywen writes #sounds of silence fic

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roseamongroses · 4 years

Text

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au, fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18)

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

#Roman sanders #Deceit Sanders #Roceit #ts sides #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts logan #ts remy #Antithesis

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realdeadlovin · 3 years

Text

and the long rambly email, so far.

Hey brian. I don't know if I'm going to send this but I guess part of me just wants to know that I did my best to explain where I'm coming from even if nothing comes from it, I won't look back and be like well maybe if I'd explained myself more... idk. It feels futile bc in my experience it just feels like if you have decided some piece of information or feedback is threatening or uncomfortable to you, you will just refuse to hear it or acknowledge it til the end of time. which makes it utterly impossible to work through what should be simple conflicts. I talked to MC about your visit today. she said something like, "I know you aren't someone who is freely vulnerable very often, and as someone who also struggles a lot to feel safe with vulnerability I can really understand how hard that was." I dont know brian, I guess thats why I wanna clarify that it wasn't that you weren't "emotionally available" bc like I said I really wasn't asking for or expecting anything from you. i was just expecting you not to actively throw it back in my face and make me feel like I would lose you for showing my feelings in front of you. I mean, I didn't actually know to ask that, because I hadn't really considered it as a possibility. I felt genuinely shocked. I couldn't imagine ever responding that way to you if the situations were reversed; it would feel so awful and cruel. when i was passive aggressive for a second while you were having anxiety I immediately felt so horrible. if anyone else in my life acted that way towards me, well, it's a moot point because no one else who I keep around in my life would dream of it. my therapist spends all this time trying to convince me that the people I love aren't going to abandon me if I let them see how I feel or let myself have my emotions in front of them but I guess she doesn't know you. i spend $100 a week trying to work through that shit so idk, pay me. I know alcohol plays a role in the whole thing but I also feel not into like using alcohol as a catch all excuse anymore in my life, obviously I still drink but its not a good excuse for being shitty to people you care about, or at least for not taking responsibility for it. If you want to explain where you were coming from or your perception of the situation go ahead, I will listen. slash read and consider. maybe my memory is off. I just want to say that like being able to identify why you acted shitty doesn't justify it. youre an adult and should be able to take responsibility for yourself when youre feeling insecure or whatever. you dont get to just lash out at people without consequences because you were feeling bad or anxious. I don't think you hurt me because youre like "hurting parker is just my idea of a good time." and even if I had been mad about something you did, which I wasn't, I don't understand how that really makes it okay either... If youre not a person I can feel safe like, crying in front of, telling you that I"m not mad at you but some hard feelings about sex were coming up for me and I was just processing it but it wasn't about you.... without you actively making me feel like shit for expressing that and like you would leave me as a result... how can i feel safe trusting you or like I can be myself around you? I mean especially as someone who is supposed to "love" and "care about" me sooo much who I've known forever, not some stranger... like if a tindr date said they were leaving bc I was crying, sure. but I think some tindr dates would be nicer than that. but you? I just don't know how you don't see that. as a side note I guess it did honestly feel hurtful that you lavish so much love and affection on me from afar and then so instantly feel certain you dont feel that way actually when were in person. i know you shrug it off, and I can't say I'm exactly mad about it cause I guess you can't help it, but it does make me feel like all that love wasn't real and theres something wrong with me or something you dont like when you actually have to be around me. you tease me about saying that 5 days seemed "daunting" to you but it did actually make me sad that we talk on a constant basis and then like the idea of seeing me was so hard. i mean obviously in retrospect you were "right" to be nervous or something but yea I guess I just like I feel some rejection when it comes to you especially seeing you "in person" which feels hard and disconcerting when u go back to being all like in love with me once you're gone, yea idk and just have this whole time struggled with feeling alternately like some rejection and then also like really intense validation. but so it goes. i guess thats just saying that even if this visit hadnt be like Bad Bad bt had just been lackluster it would have felt weird to go back to talking how we had been. but, who knows how this visit would have gone if that night hadn't happened, I know things were weird and off/awkward with us all weekend largely bc I didnt tell you how I was feeling but then also didnt know how to relax around you or be normal and yea that felt like no "spark" but maybe there wouldn't have been anyways, I don't know. I wish I'd said something sooner, also I hope you can understand why I didn't or was afraid to and who knows how the weekend would have gone if I had... maybe not any better, I dunno. but yea not texting you right now still feels hard and sad. I've wanted so badly to text you throughout the day. I know we have leaned on each other too much in order to not feel lonely but yeah so now I feel really lonely especially with sophie gone, I just felt soooo alone after you left. seeing you cry when I dropped you off made me want to take everything back and say I dont actually feel this way, I love you and of course you wont lose me, maybe I overreacted, etc etc just wanted to walk everything back. but I don't think I'm overreacting and idk I don't think that pretending everything is fine will fix anything... idk brian, i love you and I care about you and I can't imagine you not being in my life, although I guess you weren't really there for a bit. but sometimes people are friends for a long time and then they stop. I don't think I want that and I know you have been there for me in a lot of ways as well. I just dont know.. how do we interact in a way that isn't like codependently leaning on each other but isn't like distant and surface level either? I know you've said it was hard talking to me a ton after the last time we split , I know this sitch is different too but I dunno. I dunno how to find the right balance esp when I really am struggling to trust you in any sort of deep way. you also seemed to have this attitude of like "well I can't take it back now" and thats true but people/relationships do heal from hurt all the time it just takes a certain kinda work I don't feel that I will get from you.. happy to be proven wrong though.. I'm reading an article about "reforms" in the local sheriffs dept, they are getting body worn cameras and straight up saying the cops want them bc they think they will get the off the hook more often than not *~*~*I talked to kyle last night, cried some, anyways he hates you now. jk ish. definitely was like "wow fuck that guy." which wasn't actually what I had intended to convey. It's hard for me to talk to other people in my life here about anything with you because idk, your behavior sometimes is just so unreasonable and unkind on its face people always get so like against you if I actually tell them things you say to me and such, and then I feel like I'm actually in this position of just like trying to defend you and be like "no but he can be really great though and I really love him" and such. I've been in that dynamic before in "relationships" where I don't feel I can tell my friends about what is actually going on because then they will absolutely not support me being with that person and yea it's not great. I know that I know you better than they do and that you're really a very caring and loving person but its hard to reconcile that sometimes with your thoughtlessness at other times. I guess this is what you were talking about earlier in this whole thing.. about how far we've drifted apart, I guess in terms of who we surround ourselves with and such. I told kyle youre someone I've known and loved for long before I started having the current standards I have for people in my life. but, I'm also really deeply grateful you're in my life, and I'm glad to have had you come into my life when you did and to have stayed in it all this time.I felt so much better and less alone after talking to kyle and that helped clarify how much I was freaking out because of missing you versus how much i was freaking out about being alone. it was nice feeling like I could cry around someone about something that was hurting me and have it actually create intimacy rather than drive them away, as it should, so that was validating and healing in a way, like yea im not crazy. I don't want you to not be in my life. I want to continue having a close friendship with you that isn't like awkwardly not addressing unsaid things or like surface level and yeah like i want that trust back blah. and maybe I fucked that up by restarting things romantically when maybe we were on our way towards that again. arms sore like from adrenaline day 3 lol I'm getting pretty sad not talking to you or knowing how youre feeling. it's become less urgent because I don't feel lonely/alone anymore per se. getting a lot of comfort from kyle thats maybe weird/ co dependent in its own way, hes been staying in sophies room, making em coffee and breakfast in the mornings / walking me to work etc. yesterday had agood therapy session, then played cards with some rfiends, then met kyle at owls club and hung out with him and some nurses, then kyle stayed over and we talked until we were both falling asleep on the couches, tonight im maybe having dinner (sex? who knows? I think I dont want ot, I barely want to hang out with him at all it feels like a chore) tonight. still nothing physical with kyle, I wonder if cuddling may imminent, but idk.well so what im saying is when yo ufirst left I had this panicky feeling that I couldn't tell if was about fear of being alone or about missing you and the lsat few days I have felt better and less alone, and I sitll miss you, in a not urgent way but in a, I want to hear how you're doing and I want you in my life, way. I dont know brian. I feel I'm sort of processed what happened and I am mad indeed but as long as we know we can like never be involved romantically lol i can forgive that you have a lot of unhealed shit and act poorly a lot of the time in relationsihp idk. blabla. and not being involved romantically,well, it doesn't seem healthy to be so dependant on talking constantly so I don't think we can go back to that. but regularly, I would like.I dont want to not talk to you.

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dorkcresswxll · 6 years

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i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

#( ooc.)

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nostaligic88 · 4 years

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!I’m not sure why I’m writing this, but I feel like I have the need to do it anyway.

I have my therapy appointment tomorrow, so I want to discuss about what I’ve been through for the past two weeks for preparation.

I want to start off with what happened today (7/27) because it affected me in a way that made cry:

I came to work ready to do my thing but we all detected Citlalli was off. It doesn’t take words to realize that. Body language is inevitable and shows what the person is feeling. But long story short, Elliot talked to us at the end about what happened. I found out that I hurt Alisha because of my tone or something else. I take full responsibility for that because that it never my intention to throw her off. But i did. But a part of me blames Citllali for starting off bad because she does not allow us to help her out. And that ticked me off because when she gets like that she literally shuts down and work becomes unpleasant and harder. I told her that but she does not apologize at all. Instead she does what she always do, walk away in a bad note with the “fuck it i quit. bye.” that’s just so unprofessional because we will see each other all again on Friday and we just want to get finish our tasks the best way we can. Leaving on a bad note doesn’t allow that for happen. I apologized to Alisha as soon as I felt guilty. She said is okay but is truly not. I just want her forgiveness... but I also forgive myself.

On our way home Elliot and I discussed about our day and other stuff and we went home on a good note. Him and I tend to discuss and talk things out because that’s just the kind of persons we are for some reason. He said interesting things and I take note of them. Things like: I should eventually talk to my mom and my brother. Things like: Im my own person with my own opinions. Things like: He went outta pocket. Things like: He definitely sees that and that has almost everything with the way he treats me with violence. Things like: he has anger problems.

I got home. I said good night to mother. Then it was just me thinking about Citllali and Alisha....thinking about my family... thinking that I have to face them....eventually. Thinking about why am I in this position....I felt so stressed about it that I cried. Sitting on the couch, resting my head in my hands, letting my tears pour over my cheeks, I surrendered to my feelings. I was asking for help. I found myself asking for Jesus Christ to come help me because I want to keep living. I have a future and I want to be in it so come help my lord and guide me through this turbulence for I know is temporary. I did this because I have faith...for my future ya know?

I was overwhelmed at that moment of surrender. I grabbed my laptop and here I am... typing, writing about my day because I want to go to work on Friday better than I have before. Please Lord I want this. Help me.

=----------===----------===-------=====-------====0--0-----====

Well that was today... but I want to write about one more thing. I want to write about what happened to me this, Sunday, and Monday, and Tuesday. Just facts.

Sunday afternoon, I asked if I can ride with Edgar and his friends (nothing new) and he said yes. As I was getting ready, putting on my clothes, grabbing my camera, and all that, Edgar tells me “come but don’t come here with your bad vibe.” I said “what? what do you mean?” I was hurt. “I don’t know” he said. “But thats what angel and charlie told me”

“About what?”

“They said you was mad at them giving them a whole nasty atttiude that day on the garage?”

“Because I was on the phone? thats my garage anyway I can feel whatever I want. In fact, they were the angel was the one giving me a whole attitude as if I cant act all surprise for seeing them in my garage?”

Edgar ignored me and walked away.

I stayed home and I didnt go. I was upset. I was angry. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. I was fed up. Home alone... I wrote a facebook post about it.

I wrote what happened exactly in two paragraphs with the intention of having my brother read it.

He found out and sent me an very rude and abbrut text message, calling me childish for writing it on facebook. (right but lets not forget your hyprocite ass for writing a whole IG post about Saul xD but thats fine right because is you? no...) I dont feel sorry for chosing the way I express myself because after all I am a writer and you my brother are not a listener. You are not. Because I have SEEN it myself. In fact, you wholly admitted that you thrashed your bike in front of your ex just for “talking heavy” (that is a clear anger problem)

and yet, you demand me to talk to you. No brother. I deserved an apology for disrepecting me.

That was Sunday.

Monday came and I woke up to Angel confronting me “hey you got a problem with me and edgar? wassup? whats up?” all confrontational and shit. Excuse me? what do you have to do with me and edgar? nothing. so shut the fuck up. yall are exactly alike. impulsive. emotional. act based on emotional state and dont use ur brains. your like little babies. fuck off. get blocked.

This proved to me that Edgar talks shit about me to his little teenage boys. I know thats true and i don’t forget that day you humiliated me infront of them and my boyfriend because I forgot my wallet.

I do not forget that day you demanded money aand interrp[uted my therapy session

I do not forget thart day you fucked made me and amy whole fmaily sacred as shit because you broke th4e law lost 2000 dollars from my pops and you gegt away wit it!@!!!!!!!!!! AND I SUFFER FROM NYOUR DISRECXPECT. I9M FUCKING DONE!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU1!!!!!!

Let alone how you treated my brother luis over the uber accounts!!!~! I WAS NOT IN FAVOR WITH YOUR BEHAVIOUR BUT YOU ALWAYS GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING. is my family that made you like that but you must be blamed for it too.

You betrayed me after all that i did for you, You talk shit behind my back because what? i dont pay rent? you claim you’re better than my family but youre a machista for saying that. because youre the breadwinner you entitiled to disrespect your sister=? you might have learned that from my father. but i wont let you do it again to me.

i have endured phsyucal violance from ym father, my mother, my brother tony. and im tired of being bullied by you. im your sister. love me. respect me. u have a choice.

Last thing, you disrespected me and my boyfreidn at the same time with that message. How dare you talk to him like that? You don’t even know him. When have you ever found me talk to you girl like that over our own problems? I never because I know respect. Would you like that to happen to you? Tell your girl about our problems? I don’t tjhink so becuase NO ONE DOES.

How dare you talk to me in most machista tone ever. “Come get your fucking girl” EXCUSE ME? “girl?!” IM YOUR FUCKING SISTER., I HAVE A NAME. I HAVE A SOUL. IM A PERSON WIRTH FEELINGS THE DESERVES TO LIVE WITH DIGNITY,. THATS A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT. HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE IM SOME OBJECT PASSED AROUND FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT. HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT YOUR SISTER TO HER BOUYFRIEND. YOU WENT OUTTA POCKET. WHAT DO YOU GAIN FROM THATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m done taking your beatings. I’m done. I’m fucking done. ITS TIME FOR ME TO SET MY BOUNDARIES. IS TIME FOR ME TO SHOW YOU WHEN AND WHERE YOU CROSS THE LINE. IS TIME FOR ME TO START DEFENDING MYSLEF AND SAY NO1!!! 1!!!Q!

In the end, “I’m thankful. Because now I know what I must do”.

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misterbitches · 4 years

Text

unpop opinionz abt bl or just my opinions. that may or may not be popular. stream of consci. no one has to care or read. i will do this whenever i like or when i am drunk and/ or high. like now. i do tharntype + sotus, uwma, lbc, and MODC...and long ass writing and spoilers so if u stumble it aint my problem

tharntype:

some user on here blocked me cos i said rape is bad*. and it is. and it’s stupid. and not done right it has no place in these writers, who really cannot write, or producers hands. it’s easy for people to judge it because it allows itself to be judged. and bl doesn’t fix its own issues. it just keeps perpetuating. when you gain an ounce of respect for women mayhaps that will change and we fuck up all that misogynist shit in our brains (FREE YR MIND)

but anyways i skipped til like ep 6. i barely know what the storyline is and id ont care. it isnt that interesting. they’re not great actors but i like the look of that bigger one. together their chemistry is fun i wouldn’t say like....as deep as i would like but watching them is nice

(this is where the wife/husband thing is relevant. i watched 6 - 13 a lot. so the father saying “as long as you’re not the wife i’m ok with ur HOMOSEXUAL rship then” but it turns out his son was the “wife” and guess what? that’s gross. if you can’t write female characters then leave us out of it.)

anyway i can see why people didn’t watch it. i say skip everything and see how they are together. the skinnier one is not as good w like idk. being seductive? but he’s fun to watch lol. together they are nice. i really enjoyed watching their dynamic.

some of the kissing was a lot but not in a bad way. i think if they had a deeper connection i would feel it more. but i saw gifs of them and piqued my interest and i clicked(footnote 2)

the actors as themselves and whatever their rship is fun to watch..i read some UNSAVORY things about one of the actors with another dude in another show but whatever.

hm what else....yea the show is ok. theyre not great actors. cute together. sometimes when they kiss there was way too much like breathing jesus christ shut up. they totally could have done some inverted tropes but they didnt bc why would they.

a...c? c-? i give it? maybe that. people who had some criticism for it were right (like me :P) idk why i got BLOCKED cos i was JUST SAYING. rape in a story for no reason or as a startoff for lust is ridiculous. disgusting. i wont ever shut up about it. it helps no one and doesn’t help the gay community (can go down a rabbit hole here, too)

C- (this is generous but D+ seemed kinda mean...)

sotus + sequel:

idk why but i’ve seen some things flaoting around about the light guy. idk if they are true or not. i did not like that. i saw this before i read those tho (abt him not being comfortable)

this is what im talking abt...and this is where gmmtv will fail. but most bls. they’re CLEARLY worth something. they make money. the actors are a draw for others. i am not a thai citizen nor a thai teen so but i am assuming many get popular. this is because there’s a formula that is almost always stuck to. i am guessing that the channel is a public broadcast (not an HBO type) so there has to be more censorship

i LOVE seeing what countries with less production $ or a more current industry, (like in SEA tho ppl hav ebeen making revolutionary art foreverrrrrr don tforget there’s more than dramas) create. there’s less money and stuff and maybe the editing isnt good or a certain way the drama is shown is very particular and not always appealing. i am nigerian, i respect that shit. nollywood is that shit too.

and as people ge tmore $ for prods or more public support they get better (i cannot emphasize how MUCH BETTER SOUND HAS GOTTEN FOR THAI SHOWS OMG dramas in general but)

so sotus kind of suffers from lower prod quality. but also the acting is bad. sorry it is. i like the darker guy (sorry im too lazy to google names but...singto? right? hes a good photographer) and he has gotten better or wil get better i think but. yea. terrible acting lol

also like...u can tell that other dude wasn’t totally comfortable or they just didnt know each other enough. i don’t know. it was very much two guys standing next to each other now like kiss once. the reluctance to show like affection even in private settings is BONKERS TO ME. literally it’s like these men have the most sterile rships and that is suchhhh an issue in BLs, particularly the thai i guess.

tbh if the storyline was better and if they had more chemistry it would be better to me. i know ppl love it, i dont really get it lol...their kisses r ok...idk it’s like a waste of time. i’ve tried watching it like 1000000 times

thats all i have for now

*im oversimplfying. i think it was bc ppl were being harsh. but any excucses people want to use the fact is that....rape bad and that’s stupid ok. but it sucks cos i wanna rt their gifs sometimes but nope lMAO

i know im not wrong so...

lbc, uwma, modc:

I LITERALLY CANNOT WATCH THESE ACTORS. I’M SORRY I CANNOT. THEIR FACES MAKE ME FURIOUS OR THEIR ACTING. I DONT KNOW WHY. i am shocked i dont totally hate saint bc i abhorred the character in LBC and like. every ounce of it. i dont rly like taht small dude from uwma (the past s/l?) i just cant w his face, and modc...omfg....the guy was so fucking SICK LOOKING

this is where footnote 2 comes in: if i cannot handle ur fucking face i will hate the drama. the secondary char in tharntype like the highschooler? oh my god i wanted to die too but like. shit. i wouulda watched for teamwin but that was barely there. and i could not get through modc. the couple with the age gap is gross, and i lit cannt look at this hot-ass big guy making out with a stick that dies

i cant be the only one. i didn’t like uwma dude’s face in the other drama he was in either. i like him as a person. maybe if i could see him do something else. ...

oh this is also why the first 2 moons....i hated...pha’s....whole.....existence. his face, his attitude, fuck. maybe it’s the playing up the femininity part of someone but then having them being a fuckin doormat. sad cos in lbc and modc the main love interests i like. but they’re also stupid. and just. god. stupid fuckin rships.

too much emphasis is put on love as The Thing but they can’t even exhibit love the way they should. idk what im SAYING IT’S JUST WORDS

had sth else to jot down but i forgot i may update this and remind meself

#thots #my thot #a thot #idk if it counts as 'a thot' bc that tag is for INTELLECTUAL AMBIEN NONSENSE

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antlerqueer · 4 years

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8, 15, 18, 22, 29. 35

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

HOOO BOY.

starting off hot.

1. the hypocrisy behind which fcs are cancelled/banned in the rpc. my personal banned list isn’t something i have “values” behind as much as it is my own comfort and understanding, i don’t make groups im in ( unless i’ve made the groups ) ban these faces .... but it’s so funny (read: not)!!!! how ester exposito used the n-word and everyone uses her as a fc but dove cameron repeated some shit that looks like she read it from a behavioral therapy blog and how dare anyone use dove cameron now and not know why ppl dont like her? ( please note - i’m not saying don’t ban her. i don’t care who you ban. but the attitudes towards these two relatively common faces are so wildly different when people encounter them in the rpc. and we know why. )

2. the fact ppl didn’t join my rp when i put so much work into it. i guess that’s not really something that generally bothers me, just made me feel bad a few times. it counts bc i say it does!!!

3. the rpc on tumblr, since ive been in it like 10+ yrs, has always been rly weird about boundaries, mental health. and i’ve participated in that weirdness tbh and i’m not going to say i’m an angel and always have been because i’m not and i haven’t. i don’t have a fix for this. it’s just a thing that i see a lot.

15. How has rp changed you personally?

i’ve always been a writer. my parents thought i was going to be an author. writing was a way i could express myself when i was younger and unfortunately i have a hard time with that now. i over-explain and go into details in real life while i talk now and it’s probably because i have so many words inside of me and i don’t know how to get them out.

this community, esp the groups i’ve had the privileges to write with, have been encouraging. even when someone isn’t doing something the exact way the rpc wants it, people are able to reach out and help. there are more rphs than active roleplay groups and i think it’s because we all want to be helpful to each other.

rp on tumblr has been a sense of community in times where i could have otherwise been completely alone. it’s corny but it probably has helped save me from destructive shit.

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?

i was 16 and no one was sending anons on ask day to my muse so i sent my muse mean anons for ic drama. is that what you want me to confess????

but also no i haven’t. i haven’t sent anonymous hate anywhere, i think.

22. What would make you block someone?

me not wanting to see their content lmaooo. i’ve blocked people for rping grody stuff and i’ve blocked people bc i saw their posts in the tags too much. @ anyone still reading this: literally block whomever u want and liberally i promise u it’s fine

i know i’ve been blocked and if that’s what makes someone feel better abt being on this site or in servers???? good on them. they did the right thing.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

i reblog pretty much everything i use. i reblog things i don’t use. i reblog everything. (is that what reblog karma is? reblogging things in hopes ppl will reblog ur things? i hope i didn’t read that wrong)

35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

i’m a nosy binch of course i read other people’s threads. i wanna see what other people’s characters are getting up to. love to see it.

#anti-blackness mention #madisonmusing #answered

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diabolikpersonals · 7 years

Note

Like, what do you think of them generally?

alright alright alright alright alright thank u for the opportunity to talk about diaboys!!! I appreciate it ! under a read more bc I ranted forever

LAITO:

My first exposure to dialovers was the anime so my first impression towards Laito was like “oh, he’s the flirty one - oh shit he’s banging her in a church, you cant do that, thats nuts lol” but as I got more into the games, Laito became SO IMPORTANT TO ME??? especially like his relationships, w/ ALL the characters like his brothers and yui and the other families and everything! I especially love learning more about his relationship with Ayato and Kanato because it’s so dang complex. His feelings towards his triplet bros is really complicated because he loves them and you know he loves them but his trauma w/ his mom sort of fucks it all up so he’s got like this genuinely nice and kind and loving personality fighting against this trauma and warped view of the concepts of love and family that Cordelia gave him, and what you get is, “I love my family and I hope they die” and throughout the games u learn more about the reasons why he has those world views and it’s SO GOOD Laito is such a well thought-out character!?! As a writer Laito delights me but as a fan, his whole deal makes me so dang sad djhfghjdkdfd

That’s why I was so fucking satisfied w/ Laito in the Laito vs Shin cd because you got a bunch of the darker stuff surrounding him (his tendency to push people off of buildings, that FUCKING VOICE DROP he does when he’s genuinely mad) and Laito was like...he was SCARY. And he was scaring YUI and he was scaring HIMSELF, too, which made me so sad!! Laito was like crying and punching walls and being like “why am I acting like this??” and it fuckin broke my heart dude. He’s a genuinely good person, he’s so wonderful, but he’s recovering from some really really nasty stuff. So that cd really gave me a sense of like, “Man, Laito hates this just as much as I do.” It makes me want to...idk...it makes me want to give him more opportunities to be good. He really is good!!!

KANATO:

As for my first impression, I think Kanato turned me off right away because I could instantly recognize all the tropes they were gonna use when they were designing him. You can look at him and tell that he’s gonna be the ~yandere~ character (I hate using that word but u know what tropes I’m talking about). As soon as they showed him eating a bunch of sweets I was like “yep.” When they showed us his room full of wax dolls, I was like “uh huh, that seems about right.” And then he yelled a lot and tried to stab Yui for making him french toast or whatever and I was like “ok.........I’ll go start ayato’s route” u know??? just super not my type, and the Kanato vs Azusa cd was torture because Azusa’s so soft-spoken but Kanato’s always yelling at the top of his lungs. I had to keep messing with the volume and it bugged me.

I think I would like Kanato a lot more if he...had a...friend. I think rejet kinda realized that he needed one and they had that in mind when they were introducing Azusa, but that ended up being a pretty bad failure I think. Kanato doesn’t really get along with anyone and he’s pretty open about admitting that he doesn’t like anyone particularly well. I’m glad to see him starting to love Yui genuinely but...idk I feel like every other diaboy has another diaboy(s) that he gets along with really well and it’s always nice to see them acting friendly and even encouraging each other sometimes! Kanato doesn’t really have that kind of relationship with anyone. When Ayato tried to reach out and apologize in LE, Kanato was like “lol kill yourself” and I was actually so fuckin mad at him, I was like “boy if you don’t fix that attitude of yours-”..........I guess I just wish that he had more character development by this point. That scene really hurt.

RUKI:

Basically the WORST first impression ever...my first Ruki scene that I ever saw was when he broke the cat’s neck and I was so pissed. I was like “immediately fuck this guy” and he became my least favorite character right away. And on top of that he was really elitist and one of those jerk intellectuals “ohhh solve this puzzle or STAY OUT THERE IN THE COLD you big dumb idiot. im smart and you’re not” and I was like FUCK this guy, how does yuma put up with him with HIS backstory?

But I hella warmed up to him during MB, like especially during Reiji’s route where Ruki was like “...uh...okay” the whole time jhdghdj that shit was hilarious. Ruki started feeling really real. And I think that like...hm...like if Laito is a genuinely good person surrounded by bad influence, Ruki is the opposite - he’s a bad personality surrounded by good influence. Ruki’s a jerk and he’s been a jerk his whole life but he has these wonderful brothers who love him so much and this lovely angel Yui and he’s just got all these good people who look up to him and he has to be good. This little asshole kid who treated all his servants like shit is now cooking dinner for his three adoptive brothers every day and they love him so much and they love him so much. It’s so fucking satisfying. I love seeing him supporting his brothers even though it conflicts with his personality and his main drive, like letting Kou run away with Yui even though Kou couldn’t become Adam. Ruki’s most important thing in MB was making one of the Mukamis become Adam but he gave that up to let Kou be happy. That shit is so important. Ruki was such a fuckin turnaround for me, I hated him at first but now I love the hell out of him and what he represents for the Mukamis.

KOU:

Kou is great!! I think he’s affected lots of characters in really positive ways, and he’s been affected in positive ways by different characters and it’s really nice to see. For sure he’s still got that trauma from his past but I really appreciate that Kou is in an environment that doesn’t have a lot of reminders of the bad stuff from his childhood. Like, how Kou was sought after for being such a beautiful child, and how he was trapped in a dark place for such a long time. There’s none of that shit when he lives with the Mukamis. Rejet could’ve easily put in tons of haunting reminders about Kou’s whole “too beautiful for his own good” thing but whenever he gets complimented, it’s usually for something different. Azusa will talk about how talented and amazing he is, and Kino’ll be like “idol clothes are pretty nuts huh? lol” and Ruki will be like “you’re working properly after all” and I fuckin love that shit...They could’ve made it so dang hard for Kou, but no, he’s in a much happier place now. He’s nice and comfortable being with these people. That makes me feel relieved lol

I already talked about how he helped Ruki but I think the most important relationship with a diaboy that he has is SUBARUUUUU cuz like, when you look at Subaru’s route you’re like “oh he definitely needs a friend, I’m glad he has a gf but he was so dang lonely and self-deprecating that he DEFINITELY just needs a genuine good friend” and then Kou showed up and he was like “guess what subaru? we’re gonna be friends, I’ve decided” and subaru was like “???” and MB happened and by the end of it Subaru was like “I took everything you said really seriously and I do want to be friends with you..............im not gonna say it out loud tho. let’s just shake hands ok” and I was like AW HECK YEAH!!!!! And then you keep seeing nice little reminders that they’re friends in other games, like in either LP or VC (Im sorry I literally cannot tell these two games apart) they were picking out hair accessories together for Yui, and in the Subaru vs Kou cd, Kou asks Subaru at the end if he had fun, and in LE Kou gave Subaru that pep talk and made Subaru laugh, and Subaru was like “Kou if I’m gonna die then I want you to kill me” and Kou was like “But I don’t want you to die!” and Subaru was like “you dont??? you actually care? about ME???” ITS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE Subaru needed Kou so badly. Thank god for Kou honestly

KINO:

It was weird like...I was so mad at him during certain routes but I could never actually dislike him. It’s because he’s so dang funny tbh. He literally killed some of my favorite characters but then he would say a funny line and I’d be like “haha, I’m glad kino is here!” like it’s almost scary how charismatic he is towards both the other characters and to me, the player. He asked nicely if he could kill Shu and Shu was like “ok, sure.” Kino is hands down my fav villain because of this. Especially because you can really tell that deep down he wants to be a real member of the Sakamaki family and like he genuinely wants to be friends with people like Yuma and Kou, and he’s got the whole villain-turned-awkward-family-member trope which I LOVE. Like especially in that drama cd where he was like “I never get to go to school so I want to do home ec with you guys! Let’s make donuts!” and Kou was like “ok!!!” and kou tries to be super positive and encouraging the whole time even though Kino was actually secretly plotting to blow the place up. Kino looks like an idiot but he’s a genius tbh

and and and and and and I want him to kiss yuri. I think yuri is super in love w/ kino too, despite the fact that he’s. annoying. thats all I got dhgfdjskj...I love the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope so fuckin much

CARLA:

hey carla fuck you

I was really mad at him for his actions in DF mostly ^^; And tbh it’s really hypocritical because it was a group effort between both of the Tsukinamis, but I ended up loving Shin and hating Carla. Kino also did similar bad stuff to Carla, but I ended up loving him while hating Carla. So, why?

Well here’s fuckin why. Shin and Kino are cute & funny. They have their nice little payoff moments - maybe Shin hurt one of my favorite characters, but then you get to see how bubbly and energetic he gets around his big brother. He was walking one of his wolves around christmas time while wearing a red jacket and a random kid approached him thinking he was santa claus. That’s adorable! For a long time, Carla didn’t have anything like that. And he was a jerk to absolutely everyone, including Shin, who was so dang devoted to him!! Like remember in the DF cds where he was like “hey shin, the plan is we suck her blood until she’s purified from the vampires” and shins like “ok nii-san got it” and he started sucking her blood, exactly like he was ordered to, and then carla came in and STABBED HIM and was like “hey dont touch my property” like SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK CARLA U TOLD HIM TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! IT WAS THE PLAN

And he fucked Ayato up real bad in DF so I was so mad...;; I only recently started forgiving him once diatwitter and LE started up. Diatwitter let us see his cute old grandpa side where he fuckin wanders around amusement parks by himself like some kind of cryptid and kou keeps being like “wait was that carla? what the heck??” and LE gave us some pretty nice stuff like carla being like “ur definitely my brother, shin” so...carla is ok I guess...but then again LE also gave us some bad carla moments like “if ur not actually a founder then u lied to me and im gonna kill u�� so basically uh?? carla’s just a jerk I think. I’m warming up to him at a snail’s pace but he’s still a jerk. sucks about the endzeit tho, I hope he’s like permanently ok now

#text #Anonymous

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pinkykitten · 6 years

Text

Prom

FFXV

Warning: i did not re-read this

Requested: By anonymous Hiiiiii!!! I was wondering, seeing as it’s prom season, could I get some prom headcannons for the chocobros???

Authors Note: i never went to prom, ive never been, ive never even seen videos of it so this may suck, just like my life so. im not sure i did this prom thing right but i promise u this is super cute and fluffy. also i used young gladdy and young ignis for this so pls dont be mad. i just thought because they r too old for prom so i chose the brotherhood young ones. another thing is i am so so sorry this took so long i know u guys dont deserve this and i just feel so bad that i make u guys wait so much. just know u guys r the best and i apologize for all this. just know i am trying really hard to do ur guys requests. so again i am sorry, let me know what u think and i hope u like this.

Noctis

you are so scared in the beginning to go to this prom with noctis

like excessive sweating

its not pretty

but napkins help 😜

you wear this dress:

noctis went dress shopping with you and told you he wanted his “princess” to pick whatever you wanted

this dress spoke to you

noctis was a bit iffy when you asked him to this prom

determination, and pestering made him change his mind

when he sees you for the first time

BASHFUL BOIIIIIIII

he is a loss for words

blushing like a tomato

“noct are you okay”

its just you’re so beautiful!

takes you in a nice, black limo

you both cuddle in the vehicle

you thank him for coming and he just nods

he whispers in your ear how gorgeous you are, how much of a goddess you look, and just really how much he loves you

lets just say...you almost cry!

HE IS JUST SO GOD DANG SWEET AND ADORABLE

he even gives you little, special kisses all over your face

but he is still bashful

when you get to the high school everyone is staring at you two

obviously cause noctis is high and mighty

i mean he is a prince

you get self conscious, but noctis holds your hand for reassurance

you both drink some juice at the juice bar

eat some cake which had many flavors so you had (your fav flavor cake)

and noctis had chocolate

these girls came by and tried to flirt and take noctis away

they were gorgeous

but noctis did not care

“i am going to be spending an amazing time with my girlfriend who is the most beautiful person in this room”

THEM TEARS THO

towards the end of the prom they place a couples dance song

you are scared to ask noctis since he doesn't really like attention on himself

instead though noctis brings you to the dance floor with a light smile

you guys dance to Like I'm Gonna Lose You · Meghan Trainor · John Legend

its slow and just perfect

you both just melt into each other

enjoying the love

the whole dance floor become empty with just you two swaying to the beat

“i love you noctis”

“i will always love you y/n”

Prompto

oh my god

the moment you mentioned it prompto was already shouting a yes

i think he was more excited than you

you and him went dress shopping and he of course took many many many many many many many many many

did i say many

pictures of you

until you found the right gown, in which you didn’t let him see

texts you the day before the prom asking if he should wear a specific type of suit

of course it is bright neon yellow, and it has a chococbo on it

“no prompt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

when he arrives at your house on prom day he opens up to see you all elegantly

you wear this dress:

“promt are you crying?!?”

yep ya boi is shedding tear at how gorgeous you are

“holy crap if you’re this beautiful in prom whats it gonna be like on our wedding day”

you laugh at his comment and wipe his tears, kissing him on the cheek

“okay so before you kill me y/n. I was gonna get a chocobo to carry us to the prom, but I didn’t end up doing that so instead I rented us a car.”

its a vintage car

you think it fits prompto a lot

of course in the car prompto sings to you and is really all jumpy

when you both arrive you notice some kids making fun of prompto, calling him fat still after he lost the weight (which u didn’t mind at all you loved him equally both ways)

you stomp to them and start giving them a peice of your mind

prompto has to take you away from them

kissing you and thanking you for sticking up for him

you both see cupcakes and just dart to them

getting frosting all over your face, prompto has a frosting mustache

“excuse me good madam but you are looking ravishing in that spectacular dress” promto says in a old man British accent voice

you smash a cupcake in his face, you and him both laughing your butts off

after you both get cleaned up you hear a slow couples dance song

you and prompto squeal in excitement and make a run to the dance floor

you guys dance to Tori Kelly - I Was Made For Loving You ft. Ed Sheeran

the lyrics make prompto cry a little and kiss you lovingly

you and prompto dance slowly and just in love

prompto twirls you like a princess

you feel safe and just made for this young man who you call yours

Young! Gladiolus

(not my gif! do not own!)

you thought gladiolus would say no because he is always so busy

you’re very much surprised to hear him agree and want to go

“i’m gonna be wearing something sexy, i’m such a tease”

yes thank you gladdy

you try your hardest to pick something out that will make you feel beautiful and like a princess on the special day of the prom

of course you would never forget gladdy’s little sister who wanted to come to the dress shopping

iris giving her very strong opinions

JUST LIKE HER BIG BRO!!!!!!

she saw a specific dress and nodded explaining why it was the one

you were hesitant but iris reassured you it was perfect

the more you looked at it the more you fell in love

you wear this dress:

the special day you are a nervous wreck

you are clumsier than ever

“whoops sorry didn’t meant to knock that over”

you hear your doorbell and run to get it

you trip over your own feet as you open the door

YAY LANDING ON GLADIOLUS

his big, strong, muscular arms catch you

“hey, baby are you o-”

when he sees you all perfect his eyes go big

you stand to your full height and give a bashful smile

“do you like it gladdy”

he is a loss for words

puts on his bravo attitude again but with a kind smile he tells you how beautiful you are

thank u iris!!!!!!!!!

you end up being driven in his car the whole way he keeps telling you how gorgeous you are

when you guys go to the high school gladiolus grabs your hand

placing your tiny hand in his huge, rough one

he brings it to his lips and kisses it

“ready to have fun baby”

you smile and nod

you both go to the drinks and gladiolus brings out his alcohol

“GLADDY!!!!”

he explains he wants a lil kick

puts a bit in his juice and asks if you want

you shrug and say yes

its not a lot just very little

after that you tell gladioulus that iris helped you pick out the dress

this makes gladioulus more happy and he kisses your forehead

you both dance to the music like a couple of crazy people

shaking, twisting, just acting like two dorks

suddenly the slow couples song plays and you sit down knowing gladioulus hates those

“hello, what are we doing? y/n we should dance out there!”

you disagree and he picks you up bridal style with ease

he places you in the middle and wraps his arms around you to dance to the music

you guys dance to Bazzi - Beautiful feat. Camila

gladioulus tells you that what this song says he feels that way about you

he gives you kisses in the middle and sings the song to you quietly

just between the two of you

since gladiolus is so tall you take your shoes off and place your feet delicately on his

your head pressed against his chest

hearing his heart beat quicken at the contact you guys make

he chuckles and places a kiss on the top of your head

Young! Ignis

(not my gif! do not own!)

ignis was the quiet one and he attracted you the way he cared so much for the young prince

you shyly asked him and at first he kept saying excuses that is until he saw how sad you were

he brought your face to look at him and with a smile said yes

you were a simple gal and ignis was simple as well

you didn’t want nothing to extreme all you wanted was to feel pretty

you went by yourself to dress shopping

noctis was there trying on suits

he noticed you were alone and without your consent told you he was going to help you

WE’RE YOU IN THAT NEED OF HELP

noctis picked out a plain, simple dress

you had to say yes it was just perfection

you wear this dress:

it was light and feathery and it fit your body perfectly

ignis came and the minute he opened the door he was in love

you were not dressed up too much it was like you descended from the heavens

thats what he felt y’all!!!

“uhm, y/n, you look, you look, uhm, exquisite and just gorgeous”

ignis is never this bashful

ignis gently touches your hand and wraps it in his

leads you to the car he drives the young prince in

“noctis told me you were going to look beautiful and he was very right indeed”

GREAT NOW YOU’RE BASHFUL

when you get in the car the backseat has a huge cake

“did you make this ignis”

ignis made a cake for prom

wow...just wow

when you arrive ignis opens the car door for you like a gentleman

you help him with carrying the cake

after a few dances and drinks you pester ignis to let you try his cake

he is very nervous

he is legit SHAKING when cutting your peice

you tasted it and smile in satisfaction

with a mouth full of cake you say how good it is

ignis chuckles and kisses your mouth eating some of the cake

now your eyes are wide

“now it taste even better, sweeter i believe”

SOMEONE CALL 911 OR 119 WHICHEVER IT IS WHERE U LIVE AT CUZ U’S DEADDDDDDDDD r.i.p

a couples song comes on and you barely sway to the music

ignis is shy when it comes to dancing but he notices how much you want to do it with him and he just cant refuse

he tells you how much he wants to dance with you and you both go to the dance floor

IS THIS A DREAM

you guys dance to Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud

ignis makes you feel loved and beautiful

he also dances so good

you praise him in dancing and he blushes

his hands grasp yours while dancing showing that he is here for you

“thank you ignis for this amazing night”

“of course, anything for you, my love”

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