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#like I feel better after putting it into words but
souliebird · 3 days
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[[and then I met you || ch. 21]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.
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Words: 4k
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“Ahhhh.” 
You open your mouth wide so Doctor Minnie can shine her flashlight down your throat. She hums and haws as she peers in, looking for who knows what, and when she concludes her search, she scribbles on your chart. Your chart is a piece of notebook paper with a wonderfully drawn crayon portrait in the corner, your name carefully written out across the top, and timestamps with detailed notes of each check up you have received today. These notes include squiggles that could be interpreted as cursive and the letters a, m, and q repeated over and over. 
“You needs to drink more water and puts the towel on your ear,” your daughter tells you seriously. It is the same treatment you have gotten all morning, so you are well prepared for it. 
“Thank you, Doctor.” 
Minnie gives you a big smile, then whirls around to bark orders, “Nurse! We needs more water! Please, thank you!”
Matt is on the other side of the coffee table, sitting cross legged as he manipulates pipe cleaners around popsicle sticks. He and Minnie have been working on an art project for the better part of the morning - between your hourly check ups. He got his own checkup this morning and earned a band-aid on his cheek, but your daughter has been obsessed with making sure you are okay. 
You are in no way complaining over her dotting - you more than understand this is how she is coping with what happened and you are more than happy to receive fake shots and orders to stay sitting on the couch. Whatever makes her feel safe and happy.
You know her father feels the same way. 
He raises himself into standing, the smallest smile forming on his lips as he falls into his role, “Yes, Doctor. How many ccs?”
Minnie rubs her chin in thought, and you have to bite your lip so you won’t start laughing. She’s been so intense playing doctor, and you don’t want to discourage her. You are worried any teasing might upset her and that is the last thing you want to do at the moment, especially given the circumstances.
She finally decides on a number and declares, “Six!”
“Six ccs of water coming right up,” Matt tells her. He plucks your still half-full water bottle from the coffee table and starts towards the kitchen. Mouse watches him go, squinting her little eyes like she’s either judging him or trying to remember something. 
Apparently, it is the latter, as she gasps, then calls after him, “And appy juice!”
Matt gives a dramatic gasp and turns to face the both of you, “And appy juice? Are you sure, Doctor?”
Minnie giggles, clearly amused by her Daddy’s antics. There’s a difference between teasing and playing along, and Matt is king at being Mouse’s partner in crime. You’ve seen a different side of your daughter come out when she’s around him - a little bolder and more sure of herself - and you want nothing more than to encourage that.
“It’s for me!” Your little one says between her laughs and that makes Matt smile brighter.
“Ah, a drink after a hard day's work. Six ccs of water for Mommy and one appy juice for the Doctor.” 
“What do you say, Mouse?”
“Thank you, Nurse!” 
As Matt gets your drinks together, you help Minnie out of her Doctor’s coat and you fuss with folding it as she starts to put her check-up toys back into their bag. She must be getting tired if she is asking for her juice, but she looks completely alert and like she could keep playing for another hour or so before slowing down. She woke up at her normal time this morning, but at some point in the night she wound up in your bed. You don’t blame her at all for that.
You’ve been on your own roller coaster of emotions this morning. 
You woke up in a cold sweat - memories of being strangled flying through your mind - and the only thing that had been able to calm you was Matt’s arm around you. It helped to keep you grounded - remind you that you weren’t alone and that you were safe.
(“I love you.”)
No one can touch you or your baby if he is there and it isn’t some hindbrain ‘man protect woman’ nonsense. 
Matt is a superhero in the most literal sense. 
He has powers and an armored suit and fights bad guys. 
It is hard to wrap your mind around and you have so many questions, but you both agreed to wait until Minnie took her nap to talk. This isn’t a conversation you can have over her head. 
Minnie finishes picking up her toys just as Matt returns from his task. He lets her climb up onto the couch and settle against your side before handing over her juice. Your water gets placed on the table and you thank him before turning your eyes to your daughter.
“What do you want to watch, sweetie?” 
“Penguins,” she answers, right before starting to nurse her juice. You found a video about the life of penguins that is toddler friendly a few days prior and it is quickly becoming a favorite. The documentary is a nice change from the cartoons that usually make up your television time and you are fine to watch it for the upteenth time. 
Matt takes his place on Minnie’s other side, practically squishing her between you, and the three of you begin to quietly learn about the flightless tuxedo wearing birds. The video is a little less than thirty minutes long and by the time it is wrapping up, Mouse’s chin is on her chest, and she is snoring. In a silent agreement, you let Matt take care of putting her into bed for her nap. Though he has done it a few times now, he still cherishes the moment in a way you no longer do.
Your heart beats a little harder when Matt and Minnie disappear down the hallway. Your stomach swirls with anxiety over the talk you know is coming - though in a strange way you are not scared. You trust Matt to tell you the truth, but you are not sure you want to learn those truths. Doors you never even knew existed are opening to you and part of you wants to stay naive to the ongoings around you, but you know you can’t do that.
This is part of Matt’s world, and if he wants to be in Minnie’s, you need to know everything about it.
As you wait for Matt to return, you close your eyes and try to take a few deep breaths. It does nothing to calm your heart or mind, but it gives you something to focus on. You do not want to work yourself up by overthinking - that would just make things worse for everyone. So you count to five between inhales and exhales until you hear the door to the bedroom close.
(“I love you.”)
It feels like you stop breathing until the cushion beside you dips.
Your anxiety is flaring - your throat feels so tight and there is so much pressure on your chest. You know there isn’t a reason for your body to be reacting like this, but you don’t know how to stop it. You feel like you are trapped under your own worries, and you can’t escape.
“You’re terrified,” Matt says in a dull voice from beside you and you have to pry your eyes open to look at him. He looks so resigned and neutral, and your heart manages to pang for him between being crushed. 
You don’t know what he could possibly be going through - you are finally alone with him, and your mind has decided you need to have an anxiety attack. Does he think you think he’ll hurt you or something just as ridiculous?
You may have only known Matt for a short time, but you trust him. He hasn’t done anything to break that trust and he has shown you he cares. He sat with you in the hospital and stayed with you after until he knew you were okay to be on your own. 
He’s gone out of his way for you on so many occasions. 
He’s made you feel safe.
Wanted.
Loved. 
(“I love you.”)
(“I love you.”)
(“I love you.”)
Your mind is spinning and panicking and everything is so intense, but your mouth, as always, decides to work without permission.
“Will you hold me?”
The words shock you. You’ve never asked anyone to hold you - you generally don’t like to be touched - but when Matt’s arms are around you, the world seems a little more stable.
Matt seems just as taken aback as you are over the request. It takes him a moment to act, but then he chokes out, “Of course,” and opens his arms to you. 
You turn towards each other, you bringing one leg up to tuck under yourself, and slot together. Your arms go around his middle and you press your face into his neck, while one of his hands goes to your hair to hold you in place and the other starts rubbing up and down your spine.
The relief is almost instant. 
You release a long shaky breath and nuzzle yourself closer to him. He smells like your body wash and coffee, and he feels so solid against you. You feel like a shield has wrapped around you and nothing can get to you - not the all the day to day things you worry about like bills and messages you need to respond to nor all the evil things that lurk in the shadows. 
For once in your life, you feel like you're not alone. 
“I’ve got you,” Matt breathes into your ear and you believe him. 
“You’ve got me,” you repeat into his shoulder. You can hear how watery your voice sounds and you tell yourself you won’t cry. 
(“I love you.”)
You fall into a brief silence - you need a moment to recenter yourself and Matt seems to realize that. You feel him press a kiss to the side of your head as he continues to pet you and you have no idea why that helps to soothe your nerves. You let your eyes fall shut and focus on only him.
Once you don’t feel like you’ll get choked up if you start talking, you ask, “Is it okay if we talk like this?”
“Perfectly fine with me,” he whispers against you and you decide to just dive into it. 
“You’re Daredevil.”
“I am,” he confirms. 
“Will you tell me about it? From the start?” 
You feel Matt take a deep breath and to offer him some sort of comfort, you curl your fingers into his shirt, holding onto him a little bit tighter. 
“After I lost my dad and went to St. Agnes, they didn’t know how to deal with me. I didn’t have control over my senses, and I was angry at everything. I still don’t know how, but they found a man, Stick, to come help me - to teach me how to be Blind. He taught me more than that. He focused my senses, showed me I had control over them and how I could use them. And he taught me how to fight.” Matt’s words are steady and firm, but you can feel his heart pounding against you. 
You absorb the words, a frown forming on your lips, “he taught you to fight? As a child?”
He sighs against you, then nods, “Yes. Stick believed there was a war coming between the Hand and the Chaste and they needed soldiers for the Chaste. I’ll…I can tell you more about that later.”
“Okay.”  You want to know more about whatever the Hand and the Chaste are, but you can tell that is an entirely different conversation. One you aren’t quite ready for, yet.
“Stick taught me how to fight and how to use my senses to my advantage. He taught me how to channel my anger. My…my grandmother used to tell me the Devil was in the Murdock boys. And it’s true. I have the Devil in me - all my anger and rage. Stick taught me control. Then he left and I was angry he left, but I kept up my training. I didn’t need to enroll in martial arts classes to be able to learn - I could do it from blocks away. The boxing ring my Dad used to train at let me come in and use the mats and bags and I just kept at it.”
“Were you able to practice with people?” You ask. You know learning things in theory is way different than learning for practicality and fighting doesn’t seem like something you can just know in theory if you are a superhero.
Matt chuckles into your hair, “I got into a lot of fights in the schoolyard. I didn’t put up with bullies and no one wanted to admit I kicked their ass, so I never really got in trouble.”
With what you know of Matt and his personality and sense of justice, that makes perfect sense to you, and you say as much. He kisses your hair again before continuing on.
“When I reached college, I could…understand all the things I was hearing. All of the crime. I did everything I could - legally. I called the cops, I made reports, but more often than not, nothing ever happened. It made me angry - so angry - but my dad never wanted me to fight with my fists. He wanted me to use my head, do things the right way - so I tried. I really tried. For years. Then Foggy and I decided to start our own firm, to help the people in Hell’s Kitchen, really help them, and I couldn’t anymore. I couldn’t listen to the cries of kids being abused by their parents and people getting mugged and my city, the city I love, being poisoned. So, I let the Devil out.”
“And became Daredevil?”
“I did not choose that name,” Matt huffs, “But yes.”
You don’t remember much from when Daredevil first started appearing on the news - you were pregnant the first time you saw him, but you couldn’t pinpoint it. You have no idea what he was doing then.
So, you ask. 
“How? How did you let the Devil out?”
Matt doesn’t answer you right away. He noses at your hair and traces his fingers up and down your spine and you have the feeling he’s thinking over his answer.
“I went after all the people poisoning my city. Not just the muggers and abusers. The drug and weapons dealers. The corrupt. There was a man named Fisk who was trying to take over the city, turn it into something it isn’t.”
“I know that name,” you say against him, “I read about it. There were…two cases? Legal ones.”
“Yeah. It was…complicated. It is complicated. We went against him as Nelson and Murdock and I went against him as Daredevil. He’s in prison now and he’ll be staying there,” Matt tells you and you have the feeling you will have to have a whole different discussion about Fisk in the future.
“But what about now? You are still out there fighting.”
“The city still needs protecting.” 
It does, you know it does. Your attack is proof of that. You don’t want to think about it and the hands around your throat, so you press your face more into Matt’s neck and force yourself to fast-forward through the memory to something relevant to your current talk.
“You work with other…superheroes?” You ask. “Like Frank?”
“Frank isn’t a superhero and neither am I,” Matt scoffs, “But yes..I’m…learning to work with others. It’s not something I’m used to yet.”
“Tell me about them.”
He hums against you, then starts slowly, “You met Frank. He’s…we don’t get along. We have very different philosophies about how things should work, but he’s a good man. I’d rather be with him than against him and…I trust him to protect the people I care about. He’d fight tooth and nail for Karen - he has, and if I had to choose someone, besides myself, to protect you and Minnie, it would be him.” 
Again, you believe Matt. From what you have seen of Frank, and not the Punisher, you think that trust is well earned. If Matt trusts him, you think you should too.
“And there’s Jessica. She is a private investigator and….very strong. Luke is also strong and..uh..bulletproof. He’s dating Claire, who you also met, she’s a nurse who got wrapped up in everything and helps when we get injured. And then Danny and Colleen. They are…” he trails off, like he’s unsure how to describe them and you do not push. You can’t imagine having to describe superheroes.
“What about Foggy and Karen?”
Matt shakes his head, “I try to not involve them in Daredevil things, but it ends up overlapping. They want to help, but I want them to be safe.” He pauses and you can feel him swallow, like he’s nervous. “I tell them everything, though. I used to think I had to keep my lives separate - one as Matt Murdock and one as Daredevil. I’ve tried to live as only Matt and I’ve tried to live as only Daredevil, but neither worked. I’m still finding the balance of living as both, and they help me. They give me rules to follow, make sure the plans I come up with are sound and that all options are considered. That is what I want with you. I want to be open. I want to be able to tell you everything and not keep secrets. I have seen what that does to people in my life and I don’t want that with you.”
You take in his words and let them mull over in your mind. 
You can’t ask Matt to stop being Daredevil - you know you can’t. You heard what he said about why he needed to be Daredevil, and you understand that. He can’t sit by and do nothing, and by what he is telling you, he’s trying to be smart about it. He works with people to protect the city - to protect you. Yes, it scares you about all the risks he is taking and how they will translate into your life, but ultimately, the decision is his. If he wanted to keep you in the dark about everything, it would be a different story, but he doesn’t seem to want that. That makes it easier to accept and process - having as many pieces of the puzzle as you can helps you see the whole picture. 
You shift slightly in his arms, tucking yourself even closer to him, and ask, “What are you working on now? With Frank?”
Again, he doesn’t answer right away. You let him think over his words as you process. Your anxiety has definitely decreased - you feel like you can breathe and that things are going to be manageable. You can speak with Foggy and Karen and get their perspective on things and it can help you come up with a game plan. 
Having a plan is step one in everything being okay.
(“I love you.”)
“Jess, Frank, and I are…,” Matt starts slowly, “trying to help some street kids. They live in the sewers and don't trust the System or cops, but a few of them have gone missing and one has been killed, and they are scared. There's been guys in suits lurking near one of their hang outs and they don't appear in any government database, so we've been trying to track them down.”
Horror runs through you at his words. Someone has been hurting kids? Minnie’s face flashes through your mind and you press yourself closer to Matt. 
“Street kids?”
“Mostly teens,” Matt amends. “I gave them information about St. Agnes but I more than get why they don't trust it. The System is horrible. The sewers are the only place they feel safe.” You feel him lick his lips again, then to your surprise, his voice changes from serious to almost fond. “They have a tent city. They let us come down there and bring supplies last week. Blankets and food and stuff. Frank got them a cellphone, so they'll be able to contact us if anything happens.” 
Your mind spins at the idea of a bunch of kids living in the sewers. You knew it happened - New York is full of homeless people - but you never thought about it before. Guilt plagues you and you can't help but ask, “Can we help in other ways?”
Matt shakes his head, “Not in the ways you are thinking. We're going to find these guys and put a stop to whatever they are doing and right now that's the best we can do for them. They don't want to come up to the surface and if we try to force them, they'll move and still be in danger. After they know they can trust us and we put a stop to what is happening, we can start the next steps.”
“You'll protect them?” You ask, wanting to hear him say it.
“The kids may be under the streets of Hell's Kitchen, but they are still mine to protect.” His arms tighten around you, and you feel yourself melt against his chest, “And you are mine to protect.”
(“I love you.”)
“How do we protect you?” You ask, wanting to help in some way.
“Like this,” he hums, his fingers tangling into your hair a bit. “By reminding me what I am fighting for. Giving me a reason to live. I’ve been in the depths of Hell, just wanting to give up - give my life over to the Devil and go until my body stopped. I’ve been bloody and broken and alone. I don’t want that again. I want to be here with you. With Minnie. You’re my reason to get back up.”
(“I love you.”)
You press your face flush against his neck, your cheeks heating up at words. “Should I get a better first aid kit? Take CPR classes?”
He chuckles against you, and you feel it vibrate down into his chest, “That wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He pauses then tells you quietly, “Minnie has seen me in my armor, but I’m going to be doing my best to avoid getting injured in a way she can see. I have been working more on my defense - something I never really practiced.”
At the mention of your daughter, you pull back so you can look Matt in the face. Talking where you don’t need to look at his face has been helpful in calming your anxiety, but when it comes to Minnie, you need to look him in his sightless eyes.
“Are you going to train Minnie -”
“No.” Matt cuts you off before you can get the question out. “I’ll teach her how to cartwheel and other fun things, but I will never teach her to fight. I think everyone should take a defensive course to learn to get away, but I don’t want her to punch. I don’t want this anger inside of her. Minnie doesn’t have the Devil in her, and I won’t be the one to put him in her.”
You search his face and know he is telling the truth. You want your daughter to grow up to be a good person, to have as much passion as Matt does about helping the world, but the idea of her suiting up and fighting crime terrifies you. You are glad Matt feels the same way.
“Will you teach me?” You ask after a hesitant moment. “I was pretty abysmal at defending myself.”
He raises his eyebrows at the question, “You want to learn how to defend yourself?”
You shake your head, then lick your lips before dropping your voice just a touch, “I want to protect the people I care about, too.”
Matt tugs you forward gently until your foreheads are touching. You close your eyes again and let yourself start to smile.
“I’ll teach you whatever you want to learn.”
(“I love you.”)
--
a/n: we're over 100k words :')
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justlemmeadoreyou · 2 days
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hii babesss could you write something about harry fucking yn to ease her nerves/relax because she got home from work stressed and tired and needed a distraction? Love uu
summary: harry helps y/n relax after a stressful day.
words: 1.5k
warnings: SMUT! kissing, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise.
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♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
Yn dragged herself through the front door, feeling completely drained after a long, arduous day at the office. Her briefcase slipped from her hand as she leaned back against the door, letting out an exhausted sigh.
"Rough day, love?" came Harry's concerned voice from the living room.
He appeared in the hallway, his warm green eyes instantly taking in her disheveled state. Without a word, he crossed over and enveloped her in a tender hug. Yn melted into his embrace, the tension already starting to leave her body.
"The worst," she mumbled into his chest. "I'm just so tired, Harry."
"I know, sweetheart," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "But you're home now. Let me take care of you."
He took her hand and led her to the couch, guiding her to sit down. Yn watched as he busied himself lighting some scented candles and dimming the lights.
"There, nice and relaxing," he said with a soft smile. "Why don't you put your feet up?"
Yn did as instructed, curling up on the couch as Harry grabbed a thick blanket from the ottoman.
"This ought to keep you cozy," he said, draping it over her legs. He sat down beside her and began to gently rub her shoulders. "Tell me about your day?"
As Yn recounted the never-ending meetings, the rude clients, the looming deadlines, she could feel the stress slowly melting away under Harry's soothing touch.
"You poor thing," he tsked sympathetically. "No wonder you're so tense. Let me run you a hot bath, that'll really help you unwind."
"Harry, you don't have to-" Yn started, but he cut her off with a fingers against her lips.
"Nonsense, it's no trouble at all," he said firmly. "You just rest here, I'll be back in a tick."
True to his word, Harry returned a few minutes later. "All ready for you, my dear," he declared. "I even put in those bath salts you like."
He helped Yn to her feet and into the bathroom, where the tub was filled with steaming water and fragrant bubbles. Candlelight flickered all around, casting a warm, calming glow.
"Harry…this is wonderful," Yn said, touched by his thoughtfulness. "Thank you."
"Of course, anything for you," he replied warmly. "I'll leave you to relax, but shout if you need anything, alright?"
Alone in the bathroom, Yn slowly undressed and sank into the luxurious heat of the water with a blissful sigh. She closed her eyes and just…breathed, allowing the fragrant steam and soothing warmth to cocoon her utterly.
***
Some time later, Yn emerged from the bathroom, skin tingling and pink from the hot water. She felt worlds better, relaxed yet rejuvenated at the same time. Harry looked up from where he was reclining on the couch, a bright smile breaking over his face.
"There she is! Feeling better, my love?"
"Much better," Yn assured him, crossing over to join him on the couch and nestling into his side. "Thank you for taking such good care of me."
"Always," he said simply, dropping a kiss on her damp hair. "I just hate seeing you so stressed and tense. You work too hard, you know."
"I know," Yn said ruefully. "But I have to admit, after that bath and some quality time with my favorite person, I'm feeling infinitely more relaxed."
She tilted her face up toward his, eyes sparkling. "In fact, I think I could go for a bit more…relaxation," she added with a coy smile.
Harry grinned and pulled her closer. "Why, Mrs. Styles, are you flirting with me?"
"Mmm, maybe a little," Yn giggled, looping her arms around his neck. "Is that okay?"
"More than okay," he murmured huskily, capturing her lips in a slow, heated kiss.
As Harry deepened the kiss, Yn melted against him with a contented hum. This was what she had been wanting all day. To be in the arms of her loving husband, while he held her and kissed her like she deserved.
Harry's hands travelled underneath the oversized t-shirt, feeling the soft flesh of her chest against his fingers, caressing her nipples and swiping his fingers over the hardening bud.
Yn moaned into his mouth, and as soon as her mouth parted open, his tongue swiped against her plush lips, sliding in and licking her tongue. He trailed his hands down, feather-light touches on her stomach till he reached the waistband of the loose shorts, and pulled it loose.
Using the back as leverage, he used one hand against it to move himself on top of her, their lips never parting.
Only when Harry's hand slipped further down, inside her panties to feel her wetness oozing out, did she whimper into his mouth, and he broke the kiss to take a look at his beautiful, pretty and perfect wife, her hooded and lust-blown eyes telling him all he needed to know.
"What do you want, Yn?" he asked, keeping the eye contact as his fingers slipped between her pussy lips, feeling her soft, spongey but puffy clit and giving it a gentle roll between his fingers. She gasped, her lips swollen with their kisses just moments ago.
"I-I need-" she gasped once again, his hand circling around her tight hole, pushing just the tip of his finger in, teasing her.
"You need, hm?" he asked, and the next gasp she released was stolen with another kiss.
"Yes-Har-Harry, I-I need you"
She managed to sputter out, and as soon as she did, he slipped his wet finger in. Her walls clenched around him instantly, her thighs threatening to shut closed if it wasn't for Harry's thick ones between them. He pushed another in, swirling them around and curling them upwards just right to find her sweet g-spot.
"Oh fuck-yes-god yes, harry-" she pleaded, and Harry began kissing down her neck, her collarbones, the top of her breasts. He began fucking her with his fingers, two digits pistoning in and out of her in a pace that made her toes curl against the couch. She held onto his biceps, digging her nails in as he slid down the couch, getting on his knees in front of her.
Before she could protest, (not that she was going to), he darted out his tongue, and flicked it expertly aginst her clit, drawing out a moan from her. She used her other hand to grab his soft curls, and pulled at them softl.y
"Like that, baby?" he asked, and she nodded, biting her upper lip.
"So good, Har-don't stop"
Not that he was going to. He started to flick his tongue faster against her clit, his cold rings brushing against it each time he thrust his fingers fully in. He had kept them on on purpose, and he knew just how much the wet and cold sensation drove her wild.
His lips licked hers, before licking up her labia and sucking on her clit. Her grip on his hair tightened, and she whimpered once again, her back arching off the couch. Her legs couldn't stop themselves either, wrapping around his neck and pulling him impossibly closer to her core.
She felt the familiar sensation in her stomach, and she threw her head back. Harry licked, sucked and fucked with more frevor, using every ounce of strength in him to make his girl feel good.
Her breathing increased, her legs wrapping around him tighter as she gave his curls one final rough tug, before falling over the sweet edge, with Harry fucking her faster than ever, milking every ounce of orgasm from his pretty girl.
"Give it to me, yeah-that's it, good girl-"
He praised her, her orgasm riding out in the best way possible. Her breathing began going back to normal, her hold around his neck as well as in her hair loosening.
It was once she had fully relaxed around his fingers, that he pulled them out, licking them and cleaning them up like the sick bastard that he was. He wiped his dirty hands on his sweatpants, falling back on the couch beside her, his jaw aching from the work he had put in, but it was all worth it when he got to see her glow like that.
♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡
tell me if you like this!
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zyonsay · 3 days
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Een Nacht JOOST KLEIN
Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!
Summary: An unplanned encounter led to a fun adventure.
Reader: Male, Tattoed
Warnings: NSFW, Unprotected sex, swearing, alcohol, cigarettes
Now playing: 'One of the girls' by The Weeknd, Lily-Rose Depp & JENNIE from BLACKPINK
AN: Hello everyone <3 i've been gone for a while and i still dont have much time to write, but i got overcome by my joost klein obsession.. again. I hope y'all enjoy this. I expected to write like 2k words, it ended up being 4,5k. Take care!
#Justice for Joost
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...7 Missed Calls from ‘Millie’
Your best friend and roommate had left you hanging for a one-night stand, to put it shortly.
Tonight was Joost Klein’s concert in your area and you had bought these tickets ages ago. Both you and your roomie were huge fans of his music and planned on having the most amazing time ever. That was until she texted you, a few minutes after the time you had planned to meet at.
‘Hey dude, im soooo sorry, but I just met this really amazing dude at the library and I really wanna take him home ymwim?? I hope you still have an amazing time, byeeee!’
Saying you were angry was a brutal understatement. Absolutely fuming fit better. But nevertheless, you had so much fun at the concert. You didn’t need Millie to have a good time, you hope he at least fucked her well if she’s going to miss a Joost Klein concert for that. But this isn’t about Millie, this is about you jumping around all night and screaming your heart out.
All good things must come to an end and so did the concert. Joost thanked the crowd dearly and seemed really happy with the performance. Now that you had gathered your stuff, you pulled out your phone and prepared to walk to the bus station. Should be a 23-minute walk. An interesting insta reel popped up on your phone, your eyes were practically glued to the screen. That was until you inelegantly collided with someone. “Oh, I’m sorry!” You had your phone in a death grip, it had almost dropped to the floor. “My bad, I didn’t look where I was going!” Then you were greeted with the sight of a messy bleach blonde head of hair and two bright, blue eyes. This was Joost Klein himself. +A shy smile crept onto your face; you didn’t know what else to say. “Yeah, I’d be shocked too if I was standing in front of a celebrity.”, his attitude seemed cocky, but in a playful way. He was beaming, his grin as bright as the moon. Without thinking much, you opened your mouth to speak: “haha, exactly.” The sarcasm was dripping from your voice. “You seem happy, the concert went really well.”, you offered him a genuine smile. “Yes! I loved the crowd.”, his eyes lit up, “the numbers could be better though, at least my manager says so. But that’s just how the art industry is.” He kept rambling to you like he already knew you for ages. “Sorry, you probably don’t care. Oh yeah, and I forgot to ask for your name.” Joost lazily smiled at you. “I’m Y/n. I totally get that thing about the numbers. It’s difficult when you’re doing art as a job.” His gaze softened slightly. “It’s hard bringing in new fans when there are new artists every day. There’s always a younger, more talented artist out there.” His smile turned into a rather sad one, maybe he wasn’t so happy after all? “But I think you got something special going. Something different than those soundcloud rappers, you know?”, you chuckled lightly, “I think your music is true art.” For a moment he seemed to taste your words on his tongue. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while. “You seem like you do art too?”, Joost raised an eyebrow in genuine curiosity. “Yeah, I’m not that relevant though.” An awkward feeling crept over you; you scratched the back of your neck. “Ah, I don’t wanna hear it.” He barely let you finish your sentence. “I bet your really talented. I mean just your vibe right now!” Joost was now standing pretty close to you. He tended to close the distance between him and the person he’s talking to. Personal space is not in his vocabulary.
A quick glance to your phone screen revealed that your bus was about to leave in three minutes. Doesn’t matter, you’re striking up a good conversation with one of your favorite singers right now. “That’s so nice of you. People rumor that you’re kinda rude, but I haven’t seen any of that yet.” The left corner of his lips curled up, that was probably not the first time he heard about that rumor. “That’s because a lot of people who meet me say the dumbest things I’ve ever heard and then get mad when I don’t answer nicely.” He then intently looked at your eyes. “But you haven’t said anything bad yet.” Now he was smiling brightly again. “Hmm, so I gotta try harder to get on your bad side huh?”, he chuckled heartily. “You’re chill. I like you, I don’t get that with most people I meet.” He for sure is a big personality. “Oh my god, you should totally get your nose pierced. Would suit your look!” Admittedly, you have been thinking about getting a septum for a while now. But until shortly ago, you were working an excruciating office job, where piercings, colorful hair, gel nails and tattoos were strictly forbidden. That didn’t stop you from getting inked though. You waited to do your arms until you quit your job, but otherwise your whole body was littered with small and relatively big tattoos.
“I already got a few tattoos though; I worked an office job until recently. Getting a new piercing would’ve been difficult to hide.” Joost curiously eyed you, in search of any tattoos that might be exposed at the moment. “What kind of tattoos do you have then?”, he caught a glimpse of some ink under your shirt. “Loads actually. But my first one was a moth under my chest, I really like that one.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Yeah? Let me see.” You could see right through him but decided to entertain his idea for a minute. Pulling down the hem of your loose button up, whose top few buttons were undone, you revealed a small part of the moth’s wings and head. With a gentle grin you declared that he would have to pay to see more. His smile now turned into a light smirk. “How much would I need to pay to see the rest?” Quickly, you quipped back: “How much does a drink in this town cost?” He now inches slightly away from you, he was all up in your space until now. “A drink, huh?”, he mused, “I’ll buy you the whole damn bottle.”
Joost guided you to one of his favorite bars in the area. His hand was on the small of your back when you two enterer the establishment, which seemed slightly out-of-place for a first meeting. “You know, I’ve never paid so much to see a tattoo before.” He teased while he ordered a bottle of vodka and two glasses. You really hope he wasn’t a creep, cuz this seemed like a red flag. “I must be pretty special then”, you grinned while ogling the clear liquid. The blond was now swirling the vodka in his glass. He chuckled, “Yeah I’d say you’re pretty special.” Then he avoided your gaze. He was wondering how the rest of that tattoo looked like. And maybe it wasn’t the only thing he’d get to see tonight.
The swig you took from your glass made you grimace. Vodka was one of your top alcohols, but you had to be honest with yourself and admit it tastes like hand sanitizer. “Don’t tell me it’s too strong for you.”, he teasingly smiled at you. His blue eyes darted towards your hand, which was resting atop the wooden bar. In a smooth motion, he interlinked his pinky with yours. ‘Drink je moed met alcohol’ or whatever the saying is. Nevertheless, Joost felt more forward now. Maybe it was the vodka, maybe it was the way your eyes sparkled. But the alcohol for sure gave him an extra bravado. He carefully inched closer to you. You could tell he was getting a bit woozy, even if he was lazily smiling at you. “You ok?”, a small chuckle escaped you. He intertwined his hand fully with yours now. The look in his face was soft and affectionate. A bit wobbly, but very sweet. You got a bit closer; the tips of your noses were almost touching. Only a few centimeters apart. Joost kept his eyes fixated on you, his breath hitched. His ice blue eyes seemed to roam you whole face. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest, the proximity was intoxicating to him. Joost’s eyes fluttered shut and you waited for a few seconds, messing with the dutchman in front of you. His eyes opened again and saw you grinning teasingly at him. “Really? We’re doing this now?” A hint of disappointment flashed across his face for a split second, but soon after mischievousness played in his eyes.
The two of you seemed to be getting along well, chatting and laughing with each other which felt like hours on end. Your knee was now touching Joosts and his hand has landed on your thigh. He slightly squeezed it, trying to give you a signal of what he wanted. “What?”, you grinned knowingly. The blond playfully huffed but the smile on his face remained. “You know what.” He tried to play it cool, but the intent look in your dark eyes made his adrenaline levels shoot through the roof. Sneakily, you slid a hand behind Joost’s neck. “I’m usually not into blondes.” With that you caught his lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. The man practically melted into your touch, he held onto your shoulder as if he’d fall off the barstool if he didn’t. Maybe it was the alcohol or the massive interest he had for you, but Joost was kissing you fervently. A desperate noise escaped him. One of your hands rested on his chest, you could feel his heart beating rapidly. As you parted lips, Joost tried to calm his erratic heart. Suddenly feeling a bit shy, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. His cologne smelled amazing, even after messing around on stage the whole evening. The huffs of your hot breath sent shivers down his spine. He gently kissed your neck, you gasped and flushed ever so slightly. The bastard even slid a hand under your shirt, feeling your lower back. You let the hand on his chest wander a bit, earning a content gasp. “I’m loving this, but can we go somewhere more… private?” Joost let out a small laugh. “Yeah of course! My place or yours?”, he grinned at you. “My roommate is probably getting laid right now, so could we go to your place?”, he nodded with a sweet, drunken smile. “I’d love to take you to mine. It’s just a few minutes away from here actually.”
Either he was very bad at math, drunk or both at the same time. The apartment building was at least a 18-minute walk outside the city center. The breeze messing with your hair was fresh, a shiver ran down your spine. Joost risked a glance over at you from time to time, his stomach was churning with an excited flutter. Even though your gaze was directed straight ahead, you noticed the blond eyeing you. The faintest shade of rose feathered your cheeks, you bit the inside of your lip from nervousness. That didn’t go unnoticed, as Joost laughed brightly while pulling you into a side hug, still keeping up the pace. “You’re so flustered.”, he chuckled. Playfully, you slapped his arm. “Quit it.”, his smile widened and for a moment it seemed as if the sun was shining. “Try and make me.”, now his expression turned devious. “I’ll make you regret being this cocky.”, a pleased smile spread across your face. He wanted to provoke you a tiny bit more. “I’d love to see you try.” He brought you both to a halt in front of a building and opened the door. Joost looked at you and brought a hand to the small of your back. “Let’s get inside.” He intertwined his fingers with yours and pulled you up the staircase to the door of his apartment. His hands were slightly shaky from anticipation and the keys in his hand rattled and clinked.
After a few seconds he had finally unlocked the door and led you in, he didn’t bother to flick the light on. You turned around, faced with Joost’s back, a click indicated that he had closed the door. You slide your arms around his torso and press up against him. His breath hitched as you began trailing sweet kisses down his jaw and neck. Joost, now reddened and smiling lazily, turned around and slid his hands down to hold your hips. His scent was fogging up your mind, and you couldn’t help but be excited. Once again, you pecked his neck, occasionally nipping at the skin. To give you more room, he tilted his head ever so slightly. A content huff escaped him as you bit down harder, now having found his sweet spot. “Not so cocky now, huh?”, you chuckled before continuing your shenanigans. Joost let his head rest against the wall behind him and let out a small needy sound. He placed a hand on your shoulder, to steady himself. His breath was rugged, and his skin felt as if it was on fire. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.”, he whispered before letting his head fall forward, resting it on your shoulder. When releasing your hold on him, you were greeted by two dilated eyes. “Let me be good to you.”, his voice was breathy, and his hair was messed up. “Let me take charge for a bit.”, he pressed the sweetest kiss to your lips. You quietly hummed as he began nipping at your neck, but before you could enjoy it more, he gently pulled you towards, presumably, his bedroom.
He gently pushed you onto his bed, you gladly let yourself fall backwards. “There we go.”, he murmured as he glanced down at you, splayed out. A possessive glint played in his eyes. With a tilt of your head, you invited him. You wouldn’t have to ask him twice, he quickly got on the bed with you. In a swift motion, he straddled you and placed his hand on your chest. You slide your hands up his legs and let them rest on his hips. Joost softly moans into the sweet kiss he embraced you in. He enjoys the heat and friction from his body being pressed down on top of you. His lips taste like cherry bubblegum from the local kiosk, you deepen the kiss as the blond grasps your shoulders. Carefully, you broke the kiss and tugged on his shirt. “Get rid of that. “, you groaned at the hot feeling spreading over your skin. His gaze darkened at the command, and he slowly leaned back. He lifted the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it over his head, then tossed it away. A cheeky grin was now plastered onto his face, you slid your hands up his body, feeling his abs. “Thank you.”, he laid his hand atop yours, which was still resting on his body. “But you’re pretty hot too.” Now his hands slid under your shirt. “How about you take yours off as well? I need to see more of you.”, a small hum erupted from your throat, and you began peeling your shirt off. “You really wanna see that tattoo, huh?”, he nodded with a small smile. The fabric hiding the big moth was now gone and revealed its true beauty. It was a deaths-head hawkmoth, its wings were detailed and shaded amazingly, he could tell that your tattoo artist was a master of his craft. Joost’s eyes widened for a split second as soon as he saw how many tattoos were littered over your torso. He didn’t expect that many, but oh god they looked good on you. “You have no idea how good you look with all this ink.”, he ran a hand down your arm, feeling its muscles and gently rubbing the skin. “Really?”, you tried smiling innocently, but it came out looking more like a cheeky grin. “Makes me want you so bad.” His voice was barely above a whisper, the weak light of the moon made his blond hair look silvery. You delicately whispered back. “You can have me.”
Now he felt the heat rise inside him. His lips ghosted over yours, meanwhile he was fiddling with the stall of your pants. With a sense of confidence, he bit your lower lip, not enough to hurt you, but enough to show you that he was in charge now.
Once again, he nipped at your neck, but traveled down to your collarbone, your chest, your stomach and finally to the hem of your pants. Your head was tipped back in pleasure and the occasional groan left you. What you couldn’t see was him smiling up at you, enjoying the view. The soft moonlight painted milky stripes along your muscles. Joost planted a kiss on your hip before leaving bites around the waistband of your pants. He had already opened the button and zipper of your garment and now he pulled them off, tossing them aside. With the gentlest hands he caressed your thigh. A gaze to your thigh revealed even more tattoos, an elegant snake was swirled around your leg, entangled with the leaves of an olive tree. The dutch grinned slightly, then began leaving kisses and sweet bites over your thighs, he was burning up now. His hand slid upward on your thigh, though this time he was messing with the fabric of your briefs. He only chuckled lightly, before biting down harder. A soft whine escaped you, while he slowly pulled your boxers off. Then he sat back, waiting for a reaction. “Don’t tease, I’ll make you regret it.”, your threat sounded more playful than anything. He offered you a small, challenging grin as his fingers slid back up to your hips, where he let them rest. “Yeah exactly, what are you gonna do?” You groaned. “Keep going if you wanna find out.”
He leaned down and trailed kisses over your inner thigh, his hands roamed over your body, slowly making their way towards your crotch. Brushing over the tip of your length, he hummed in contentment. Your eyes fluttered shut, you couldn’t help but twitch at the contact. He rubbed his thumb over the slit, licked his lips, then wrapped his fingers around your length. His soft hands felt like heaven to you, his motions steady and gentle. Occasionally +he teased your tip with his thumb, enjoying your expressions. “Bet you rail some guy after all your concerts.”, a teasing smile appeared on your lips. “You’d be correct to think so, yeah.”, he hummed with a sly grin. He stroked you at a slow but firm pace. “Are you trying to rile me up with that?”, he then mused a chuckle. Despite your currently… pathetic state, you mustered to spit out: “I’d never. Just making sure you’ll remember me very time from now on.” He sped up a little. “Oh trust me, I’ won’t be forgetting you anytime soon.” Leaning in, he took the tip into his mouth. “Fu-uck”, you stammered. The warm, wet feeling of his mouth could’ve made you cum right then and there. One of your hands reached down to entangle itself into Joost’s blond strands. The mans breath hitched as he felt your hand in his hair, it sent tingles down his spine. He swirled his tongue around your tip, sucking gently while looking up at you. His hands held your hips firmly in place. “Didn’t know your mouth was good at anything other than singing.” Joost’s eyes crinkled at your comment. With a quiet ‘plop’ sound, he released your member. “I can promise you, it’s good at other things.” He muttered before tending to your length again, this time maintaining eye contact with you. The sight alone almost tipped you over the edge, his icy blue eyes were glossy, and his blond lashes framed them perfectly. Joost’s eyes flickered down, he noticed how you started to twitch lightly. He took you in deeper, focusing on the sensation in his mouth. The way his tongue swirled on the underside of your shaft made your vision go blurry, you felt a feeling tightening and coiling in your stomach. “I’m so close.”, you whispered desperately. Little did you know that he had other plans. Once again, he removed himself from your pulsing member, a string of saliva connecting to his lip. You ran a hand trough your hair, while your chest was sinking and rising with heavy breaths. Joost backed up slightly, removing any remaining clothes, then focusing on your figure again. He gently straddled you, his own length rubbing against yours, not without a sharp hiss from you though. “Hop on, let me treat you right.”, your muscles tensed from anticipation. A low groan escaped the blond, he nodded quickly before sitting up. With utmost care, he positioned himself and slowly sat down as he felt you push inside of him. He gasped at the overwhelming feeling, and you rested your head against the pillows, it was too much and not enough at the same time. Gently, he started slowly rocking his hips against yours, he bit down on your shoulder to muffle his soft moans. Feeling a bit revengeful, you bucked upwards, earning a loud gasp from the other man. A loud moan escaped him, and his body shuddered and tingled, he slightly sped up his rocking. Your warm hands trailed up to his hips, helping him steady his movement. Empty threats were never something you made, so you decided to go all out. In a swift motion you had basically thrown Joost off and positioned yourself over him, prodding at his entrance with your dick. He groaned and gasped at the sudden manhandling; a shiver of excitement ran down his spine. “That’s for teasing me.” He wrapped his legs around your waist, while letting out a breathless moan.  Without much care, you pushed into him, setting a relatively fast pace. The dutch groaned at the rough treatment and you felt him dig his nails into your back and leave long scratches along it. “You’re so g-ood.”, his voice broke slightly, he was panting heavily. “I said I’d make you remember me.” Even in this pathetic state, he chuckled.
With his arms slung around your shoulder, he cried out in pleasure, small pearly tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “Fuck. I will.”, his eyes were glossy. Once again, he bit down on your neck, leaving yet another dark hickey. Bitten off moans slipped out of him; he was pretty sure both of your hips would be bruised after this night. The room was filled with breathy moans and gasps, along with the constant sound of skin slapping against skin. Joost was completely lost in the moment, he loved how you took control. “See who’s not being so cocky anymore?”, you teased. “Shush.” His head lolled back in pleasure. You snuck a hand around his throat, threatingly gripping it with very little pressure. “You’re not the one giving orders.” A shiver of excitement ran trough Joost’s veins, he ever so slightly arched his back, pressing his body closer to yours. “Now shut up and take it.”, your hips snapped against Joost’s, and his groans became even weaker. The pleasure was building up in his stomach, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle it. His vision went blurry, and his body tensed up, his nails dug deep into your skin, leaving bloody scratched all over your back. “Fuuuuuuck”, he moaned against your collarbone. Warm, milky white cum shot out of his length, all over his stomach and chest, you yourself quickly pulled out and dropped the load on top of his. “Messy Boy.”, you whispered.
He laid there for a few minutes, panting heavily and feeling utterly spent. You grabbed a random t shirt on the bed and wiped him clean. With a good wash it’ll be as good as new, you thought. Gentle to not disturb him too much, you laid on top of him, resting your head against his chest. He let out a small huff, then wrapped his arms around you. “I’m going to feel this all day tomorrow…”, he mumbled. “Then I did it right.”, you closed your eyes, enjoying his warm breath trickling down your face and neck. Joost hadn’t seen the tattoo on your back before but was admiring it now. It was another snake, wrapping around a big dagger with various decorations on it. He ran a hand over it, feeling the skin he had scratched open around it. “So, you like it een beetje ruw?”, he whispered. “Ja but I can be sweet too.” Joost chuckled. You looked up again, enveloping him in a genuine, gentle kiss. Brushing a stray hair away, you caressed his cheek. The blond hummed lightly, his heart fluttering at the tender kiss. His lips curled up into a sweet smile. “Just for some people though.”, you grinned cheekily.
After having thrown on your briefs, you had retrieved your pants and began rummaging the pockets. “Can we go out to the balcony? I’d like to have a smoke.” Joost raised an eyebrow while his smile revealed his dimples. “Cigs after a good lay, huh?”, he began to fumble around in his bedside drawer, trying to find his own pack. “They’re on me, owe you after that.”, you giggled. Joost opened the slide door and led you outside. The atmosphere was calm, the two of you sat down on the floor. You held out your pack to the man, before taking a cigarette for yourself. He put it between his lips, waiting for you to light it. His eyes watched your face closely. After having his cigarette lit, Joost leaned against the balcony railing, enjoying the fresh breeze. You looked over the city while the smoke mingled as they both exhaled. Joost reached out and tangled his hand with yours. “You’re so pretty.”, you mumbled absently, watching a few blonde hairs follow the flow of the wind, his hair was all messed up, but he looked perfect. The tips of his hair looked almost white in the moonlight. “I’m usually not into blondes.”, you ruffled up his hair. “Hey!”, he cried out, but he quickly reached for your hair in an attempt at revenge. You gladly lowered your head, letting him do whatever he wants. Instead of messing up your whole hair, like you though he would, he gently combed trough it with his fingers. It felt soothing, you leaned into his touch and ended up flopping your upper body down into his lap. He couldn’t help but chuckle, “Comfy?”
A pleased hum escaped you, moments like these should last forever.
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FUTUREDAD!ANAKIN HEAD CANNONS 🍼
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TW: at some point it contains sexual content, so if you're feeling uncomfortable with it, please do not read
🍼 Futuredad!Anakin who was so damn excited after you've announced him your pregnancy that he couldn't shut his mouth abt it for weeks
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who is obsessed how your body changes due to pregnancy. He'd definitely eye you up and down more often, stopping at your swollen breasts or round belly
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who makes sure you're all comfortable whenever you can
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who rests his head against your belly bump while you play with his curls. He'd start telling you about his day, drawing small circles on your belly before he falls asleep
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who loves to stroke/touch your belly skin-to-skin. Always, when you two are alone, would lift your shirt and run his hands over the swollen area
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who talks to the baby in womb. He'd just plant gentle kisses along with child's movements, whispering some words like.."look at you..so strong already" / "such a responsive baby..bet you're gonna have my looks and mommy's personality, hm?" / "yeah, you're gonna move more? Gonna just respond to daddy's silly talks?"
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who uses the force to calm down your baby when it's movements get uncomfortable
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who tries to keep you happy all the time;
"Ani" you whine softly, shaking his arm so he'd wake up
With a small gasp that ended his soft, quiet snores he stirred awake "what?" his voice was raspy, almost begging you to let him go back to sleep
"wanna ice cream.." you whisper a bit shyly, knowing the hour of your tempting craving
Anakin would sigh as his eyes met the light digits on electric clock standing still on his nightstand "love, it's almost 4am..just try to fall asleep, s'gonna go away.." his arm covered the half of his face
This made you frown, having a damn human being inside your body wasn't the easiest thing in the word and trying to shoot the craving out by getting sleep wasn't the most pleasant idea "c'mon Ani.." you whined again, not letting go of shaking his arm "it won't..the baby needs ice cream and sleep isn't the way out of it"
Another sigh left his mouth, this time more of a surrender, since how could he argue with a pregnant woman? He rubbed his face before pulling the blanket away from his body "alright, alright..guess I can't argue with the baby"
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🍼Futuredad!Anakin who makes sure to compliment you since your body is changing and he knows how psychically overwhelming it may be
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who accidentally would drink your breast milk thinking it's a real one
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who loves how your body changes. The swell on your belly from his child, swollen breasts that he'd definitely pay more attention to whenever he can catch a glimpse of you just walking and them jingling or whenever you innocently change your clothes before him
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who can't help but make love to you (very gentle way to call it) silly while his eyes are taking in your bouncing breasts from his thrusts
"A-ani..you're gonna hurt the baby" you mewl
"Bullshit..had been reading about this all day sweetheart.." he groaned "the baby won't even know that I'm gonna fuck another one in that pretty womb" (guys I know you mostly can't get pregnant WHILE being pregnant but it just gives me ani talk vibes)
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who gets a bit concerned if he for sure didn't hurt you or the baby after sex. Would try not to leave any marks on your belly and lower body
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who helps you with basic things that started to be troubling for you. Like tying your shoes, bending down to grab things and etc
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who got concerned after he caught you going to the bathroom too many (for him) times. He'd spend most of the day educating himself about pregnancy to understand you better, to help you with other things and to just know more
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who would pout, trying to put a diaper on the newborn doll. He'd look around the room at other parents that attended to antenatal class and actually frown when he tried to copy their movements but it only became a worse mess
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who educates himself about parenting. Would watch different videos and read books between his daily tasks
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who would absolutely freak out when your waters broke;
"God, god, god..where is it?!" he anxiously searched for the bag with all the things already set up for birth
"Anakin!"
"Here you are" he murmured to himself, almost tripping downstairs "shit--coming sweetheart!"
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"Just breathe..it's gonna be okay.." he exhaled, tapping on the steering wheel as he waited for the green light to appear
"I am breathing"
"I was saying it to myself.." he murmured, hoping you actually didn't hear that
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🍼Futuredad!Anakin who would argue with doctors about staying by your side during birth. He promised he'd be there and help you as much as he can and the thought of not being there was horrifying to him
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who praises you and encourages you to keep pushing. Would stroke your stuck from sweat hair out of your forehead, kissing your head, running his thumb over your knuckles
"C'mon sweetheart, you can do it.." / "you're doing so great baby, one more push and it's gonna be all over" / "you're so strong.. m'so proud of you.."
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who would cry his eyes out while holding and acknowledging that he has a baby girl in his arms
"Look at you..you're so small" / "so tiny..my little girl, my little princess, my shining star"
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who's the best girl dad ever. Trying to do her hair (watched a lot of videos on how to do it just so he can make her a braid), playing with her in tea party, letting her paint his face (of course he'd be a little grumpy but never taking it out on her), DEFINITELY doing all other things like taking her on to pod races while they two eat popcorn and dish about everyone with almost the same frown
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who would be unstoppable duo with his little girl; both probably hating sand, doing all mischievous things and this attitudeeeee
🍼Futuredad!Anakin who wouldn't stop at one kid with you (if you'd even want more)
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TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @ysrjune @heartsforanakin @divineani @erosmutt @emmaloo21 @haydenlovers @haydensprettyprincess @lunalitva @catnipaddictt
(if you want to be on the tag list or removed from it then don't be shy and let me know 💋)
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nanamis-princess · 2 days
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Can I rq jjk x depressed reader hcs? And gn reader please!!
Love your works btw, 10/10! You're genuinely one of my favorite people on here
✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯
Jujitsu Kaisen men x depressed reader headcanons
Synopsis: your depressed & they wanna make you feel better:)
Genre: fluff with a dose of depression
T/w: depression, mentions of geto making someone go bye bye loll, not being able to take care of yourself. Plz lmk if I missed anything.
Nanami, Gojo, Geto, Yuji, Megumi (separate) X gen reader
Nanami
-Nanami is a very observant partner, that new ice cream flavor you tried and said you liked is now written down in his notes app. When he brought you as his plus one to his company dinner party, he could tell you weren’t found of one of his coworker without you having to say a word about it. He dismissed you both and you carried on with the night. So Kento notices when you start slipping, sometimes even before you do.
-kento will use his sick days to spend time with you, to make sure you’re okay. You’ll spend the morning cuddling, if you want to be held he will hold you and kiss your forehead.
- If you start crying he lets you get it out, he will wipe your tears away. Kento runs his hands along to your upper cheek after wipe your tears, rubbing your temple as tears run down your cheek. “You’ll get through this I promise” he says rubbing your temple near the roots of your hair.
-if you are in a state where you can eat he will prepare you a home cooked meal along with a glass of water. But if you prefer takeout he’ll get it for you, whatever you want to eat its yours as long as you are eating something. Eating together on the couch with light rain hitting the widow, snuggled in with blankets and candles going.
-if you aren’t able to eat he’ll just you take a few bites so you have something in your system along with a glass of water. He also encourages you to indulge, you are already going through enough and he wants you to take it easy.
-along with trying to make it easy if you take any medication he has reminders on his phone until it’s mussel memory to remind you. He cleans up after you as well, he knows how hard it is to get through this and wants to make this process as easy for you as he can.
-he takes care of your hair for you, he’ll bathe you while using essential oils and helps you get dressed along with your nightly routine. “I’m so proud of you for making it through today darling, I know it was draining” he say in a low tone as he rubs the lotion onto your back. He places a soft kiss to your shoulder.
-during the day he gets you out of the bed and to sit in the living room with him, just so you are up out of bed. He picks you up carrying you to the living room along with your comfort blanket. He puts on your comfort show or movie.
Gojo
-He’s a very quick learner, he learned how to take care of you, what to do and what not to do. Satoru will not let you slip through his fingers he will be right there for you. When he was younger he didn’t understand what Geto was going through, now he does so he truly means he will never let you fall.
-after an evening of teaching he comes home with goodies for you and him to share, along with gossip of course to see you teary eyed on your shared bed with your day time clothe still on. The past few days just took a lot from you and he can tell. “My cutie patootie gumdrop what’s wrong?” He asks using the nicknames you laugh at but with actual concern.
-he understands if you prefer not to talk about how you feel or if something made you feel this way but he listens if you do. “If its not easy to talk about right now, we don’t have to” he says softly. Satoru sits at the edge of the bed with you as he gentle wipes off your makeup. After running you a bath and getting you settled in for the evening you both lay in bed eating the sweets he brought home for the two of you.
-it doesn’t matter if he is up all night, he makes sure that you some how get one rest if you have a hard time getting sleep. But if you sleep for long periods of time he lets you. You guys even take naps together, he puts on rains sounds or white noise, your stuffed animals and fluffy bedsheets.
-Satoru makes sure you eat something, big or small portions all that matters is you eat. Along with medication, he even gets you a sweet treat to eat after you take it along with kisses all over your face. “Now that the hard part is done” he kisses your cheek “we can do what you want” he gives you another kiss on the cheek. “We can watch a movie, or that new season of that show you wanted to watch?”
-the next morning after you’ve been going through it you wake up to the curtains slightly open letting some sunshine in with flowers on your nightstand and piece of media you’d been eyeing lately. Along with the smell of breakfast flowing through the apartment.
Geto
-as we know he’s been through this himself so he can spot it a mile away, he stops you mid way as you are trying to make a cup of coffee/tea for yourself. “I can make it, go sit I’ll bring it to you” he say with compassion and a small kiss to your forehead.
-when all you want to do is curl into a ball and do nothing, he lets you but he never leaves your side. Even when its hard he tries to take care of you, getting you to eat or take a shower together. He wants to make this go away for you, so you don’t stuffer anymore. You don’t deserve to suffer.
-if something is bothering you he encourages you to talk about what made you fall into this pit, if he’s able to fix it he will. Annoying coworker or boss that wont leave you alone? That’s too bad they went missing.
-he doesn’t want you to be alone he wants to be right there with you. He cups your face as your tears fall, his thumb wipes them away. “Breath in 1..2..3..4..5, hold it. Breath out 1..2..3..4..5” he says quietly looking into your eyes. “The storm will pass I promise” he says before kissing your cheeks lovingly.
- The curtains are slightly open as the sun goes down your head gentle resting on his thigh as he gently plays with a strand of your hair whiling reading to you.
Yuji
-he loves making you smile and laugh, he will do anything to make you happy. His heart aches when he notices the depression coming back again, he just wants to pick you up and run from it so you never feel that way ever again.
-yuji will take a shower with you while a playlist of your favorite songs are playing, he understands if you just want to get in and out to lay back down so he takes care of washing your body and hair. He gives you a back massage too. He gives you his favorite hoodie that smells like his cologne, it’s a pull over hoodie that he got for his birthday.
-he read somewhere that your environment impacts your mental health so when you go through this he cleans the apartment and lights candles that are your favorite scent.
-holds you all day, all night and every moment that he can. Giving you forehead kisses or kisses on top your head. You guys also have a movie marathon until you feel better, he always lets you pick what you watch.
-has many many many reminders in his phone to remind you to take your medication if you take any. He will even make you milkshakes to take with it.
Megumi
-like nanami he is very observant especially about the ones he loves, he always keeps tabs on you so when it rises he’s ready to take care of you and be there. Doesn’t want you to lift a finger, he just wants you to ride this out. “I promise it won’t last forever, you will come out on top” he says before kissing your temple.
-when he washes your hair and body for he also is washing the bedding. He added essential oils like lavender or eucalyptus to help with calmness.
-pulls you gently to lay on his chest as you drift back asleep. You both take long naps together, you always wake up in his arms.
-he already reminds you everyday to take your medication, this is no different. Expect he got you a new plushy along & your favorite candy along with your refill.
-when he’s up making dinner you got up to use the bathroom, on your side of the bed on the floor you find a stick and a chew toy along with both the dogs on your side of the bed. When realizing you got up they both stood up to follow.
A/N: I really hope you like this! Ur so sweet thank you for saying that! As someone who struggles with depression this made me smile. For anyone going through it, you’ll get through it babes I promise. Plz try drinking water & getting something in your stomach. You deserve amazing things and to take care of yourself.
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irishmammonagenda · 3 days
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"Solomon?" You ask, eyes unblinking like a lizard as you stare at your favourite Rat Bastard. "You know how you're immortal?"
Solomon turns to you in mock shock, "Really? Why I never wouldve guessed."
You deadpan. "It was a serious question."
Solomon smirks his usual evil smirk, which to anyone else observing would look like a pleasant smile. "Yes, and what about me being immortal, MC?"
"Well, did you ever know Merlin?" You tilt your head as Solomon's smile falters for a split second before he fixes it.
"..."
"Solomon?"
"Yes, I knew Merlin."
"Before or after you became a Rat Bastard?" You ask him, eyes trained on his pretty smile. (evil grin)
"Well...I may or may not've been good friends with him..."
"Do you think I could meet him?" You ask, bouncing one of your legs after you sit down on Solomon's workbench.
Solomon moves towards you, something flashing in his eyes for a split second before his hands find their rightful place around your waist. "No."
"Why not?" You pout.
"Because I'm the only famous sorcerer in your life." He states, that something flashing in his eyes once more. Something animalistic. If Solomon was a demon, you were sure his demon form would sprout out.
"What about Maddi?" You raise an eyebrow.
Solomon scoffs. "You hate Maddi. You put on a mask with Michael's face on it, and then tried to drown her in a ditch."
You shrug. "I'm just mad the bitch didn't drown."
"She did damage her oesophagos though." Solomon smiles evilly, actually evilly this time.
"So why can't I meet Merlin. I want his autograph." You bring th conversation back to the topic at hand, your flustered gaze trained to where the Great Sorcerer holds you by the waist possessively.
Solomon scoffs once more, grey eyes narrowed in on you. "And why do you want his autograph?"
"Because he's the greatest sorcerer to ever live? Duh."
Solomon's grip tightens at that. His brows furrow.
"...No he's not." The silver-haired sorcerer replies after an awkward moment of silence.
"Yes he is."
"No he's not." Solomon glares at you, grip tightening once more, it's almost painful. "I can give you my autograph if you yearn for one that badly. End of."
"But-" You pout, eyes flickering with the flame of mischief, wanting to see how far you can take this.
Solomon's eyes snap up and down your body before meeting your gaze, forcefully he moves closer to you, you lean back until he's directly in your face and your back is up against the surface of his workbench.
You feel his hot breath on your ear as he whispers, "The next words out of your mouth better be 'I love you Solomon!' or I'm not hearing them."
Your breath hitches, you suppress a grin, "It's just that-"
"Not hearing it."
"Emrys is just so cool-"
Solomon flicks you on the head for that one. He moves away from your ear so he can look at your face. Grey eyes instinctual and crazed.
"My darling apprentice....you don't want to know where this is headed." The Witty Sorcerer grits out, emphasising the word 'my' like it's an ancient incantation.
You stiffen, you've really done it now. There was no way you could keep teasing your favourite Michelin Star Murderer and come out unscathed.
A dark purple surrounds the sorcerer, are those flames?!
You pout, looking into the crazed feral eyes man who's about to lose control. You'd have to stop being a gremlin and take responsibility.
"Sol...I love you." You say, and you mean it.
And like clockwork, rhe dark purple flamey aura disappears, Solomon's grip loosens on you, he moves a little farther back, allowing you to get up off the surface of the workbench. His usual Rat Bastard smile returns, and the crazy feral look in his eyes diminish, never fully going away.
You raise an eyebrow teasingly, "So that's a no on meeting Merlin?"
Solomon sighs exasperatedly, love ever-present in his expression, "Forget Thirteen, you'll be the death of me."
You laugh, "Back to your Alchemy lesson now?"
Solomon chuckles. "Back to my Alchemy lesson." He nods, taking his hands off of you and walking over to his cauldron.
You follow him like a lost puppy, unaware of the extent of the danger just a few moments ago. Not danger you were in, of course, like Solomon could ever hurt you. But the rest of the realms?....well that's a different story....
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Never wake a sleeping dragon....
Never underestimate the obsession love that Solomon the Wise has for his Darling Apprentice.
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jinwoosungs · 2 days
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{ 021 }
- how they comfort you after a breakup -
featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, fushiguro megumi
dedicated to @xbarrjallenx
[ gojo satoru 🕶️ ]
gojo is the type to wipe away your tears while reassuring you that you always deserved better than your dumbass ex. he will remain vigilantly by your side while slowly healing your broken heart all while hoping that someday, you’ll realize that he was the man you have wanted all along…
gojo wanted nothing more than to march over to your ex’s place and teach him a lesson or two-
but his undying devotion and commitment to you prevents him from doing so.
you continue clinging to him, basking in gojo’s words of whispered comfort while running a hand through your hair. he hated feeling your hot tears staining at the front of his shirt, yet still, he knew it was important that you let out all of your emotions so that it would be easier for you to heal as time went on.
after what felt like hours of you crying nonstop, gojo hears you calling out to him, the cascade of your tears finally slowing down to a few droplets when you shakily apologize to him.
“s-sorry for crying so much, ‘toru.”
he scoffs upon hearing your apology, picking you up from his spot on the couch. looking down at your damp face and bloodshot eyes, a wave of empathy and love surrounds the world’s strongest sorcerer.
“shush, you don’t need to apologize for a damn thing.”
he carries you into your bathroom, settling you on top of the toilet while working on wetting the handkerchief to help wipe your face with. he hums one of your favorite songs, earning a giggle from you.
an almost triumphant smile paints gojo’s features when he leans down and gently wipes away at your stray tears.
“listen to me, and listen well, okay?” gojo softly murmurs to you while still cleaning your face.
“i know it’ll take some time for you to get over him, but just know that you always deserved more than what that bastard was willing to give you. you deserve a man who will dedicate his whole life to making you happy; a man who will love you unconditionally without giving you mere scraps of his affection.”
a man like me. gojo doesn’t tell you his thoughts, though. he never wanted to be a mere rebound for you, and now that he knew that you were free from your selfish ex’s grasps, he could finally work on convincing your heart that you belonged with him.
when he was finished with wiping away your tears, he puts the damp handkerchief into your basket of dirty laundry, basking in your tiny smile and the way you met his gaze in an affectionate manner.
“thank you, satoru. i really needed that.”
he listens to the way you let out a sniffle, pressing a comforting kiss against your forehead before asking you if it was alright for him to stay the night. not wishing to spend another night alone, you eagerly accepted his offer.
with you now settled on his lap (and favorite carton of ice cream in hand), you watch a light, romantic comedy on t.v. in hopes of easing your heartache, giggling here and there at the love interest’s antics while basking in gojo’s gentle kisses against your hair…
[ geto suguru 🔮 ]
when geto sees you in tears due to a bad breakup, his gaze would darken before taking you in his arms to help with comforting while confessing that so long as you asked him to, then he would make sure to make your ex disappear.
it took geto a herculean effort to remain rooted on the couch of your apartment, holding you in his embrace while surrounded by empty cartons of ice cream and various snack bags.
you had told him about your breakup with your ex through shuddering tears, the sight of it all being enough to make geto’s fist remained clenched in response.
despite how he wanted nothing more than to confront your ex because of how much the asshole had hurt you, geto fought such desires and remained by your side. he runs his hand across your hair, allowing you to finish before landing your tear-stained face against his broad chest.
as your tears were felt wetting the front of his shirt, geto lets out a sigh, leaning in to press light kisses against the shell of your ear while whispering into them. “if he upset you so much, shall i kill him for you and rip out his heart, bringing such a useless organ to you?”
geto’s totally teasing and not serious words earns a choked laugh from you, managing to stop your tears momentarily as you pull back away from his shirt and weakly poked his cheek.
“n-no, there’s no need for that, suguru… i’m actually feeling so much better now that i got it off my chest… and have you by my side.”
a rich chuckle escapes from geto’s parted lips, with him holding you close as he casually asks you what you would like to eat as takeout for dinner, making you completely unaware of the sincerity behind his words-
truly, if you asked him to commit heinous crimes just for the sake of easing your broken heart, geto would do it for you in a heartbeat.
[ nanami kento 🗞️ ]
nanami is the type to truly take care of you, knowing that you didn’t have the energy nor the strength to do it yourself. when you came to his apartment with tears in your eyes, he invited you inside his humble apartment with little to no question at all.
nanami’s gaze remains utterly focused on the task at hand, cooking all of your favorite foods as he uses every knowledge he had to whip up your favorite meal. his movements were meticulous and graceful, plating the meal in a manner that he hoped would appeal to you and further strengthen your appetite.
when you came to his apartment in tears, nanami let you in without a hint of hesitation. he notices the dark circles beneath your eyes and the way you seemed to have lost some weight. he asks why you appeared so haggard and weak, yet all you could tell him was that you “didn’t have much of an appetite after the breakup.”
this further serves to infuriate nanami, as he hated the bastard that dared make you look so unwell. if you were his woman, he would treat you like the way you deserved to be treated.
to him, you were a precious diamond; a one in a million type of woman that your ex was just too stupid to truly love and appreciate. to say that the duration of your relationship with your ex was maddening to nanami would be the understatement of the century.
nanami could never fight back his feelings of envy whenever he saw that bastard’s possessive arms wrapped around your waist, and now that he was stupid enough to let you go, it was time for nanami to step in and show you what love was truly like.
true love was unconditional.
true love meant making your partner happy.
but most importantly of all, true love was patient and giving.
and nanami was all too eager to demonstrate all of these facets of true love to you, little by little.
once dinner consisting of all your favorite foods was finished being made, nanami walks toward the spare bedroom he had given to you. he knocks on the door to announce his presence before opening it, nearly jumping back when he already sees you already standing before him.
a sheepish expression paints your features with your arms wrapped around your stomach. “hey ken, uhm, i thought about taking a nap, but smelling the delicious scent coming from your cooking made me a little ah… hungry.”
as if to further prove your famished state, he hears the sounds of your stomach growling, earning a rich chuckle from the man as he gently leads you out of the room and into the dining room.
pulling out the chair for you to sit down in, nanami gestures at the various plates. “by all means, dig in. you need it.”
grabbing your utensils, you happily state, “thank you for this meal!” before steadily devouring the delicious meal nanami had made for you.
as nanami sits across from you, he had to fight back a smile, filled with an anticipation to finally get a chance to love you.
[ megumi fushiguro 🐺 ]
megumi can and will fight for you. when he realizes that the bastard had the gall to treat you like shit and toss you aside, he wasn’t afraid to pay your ex a little visit…
megumi’s eyes narrow when he sees the familiar head of hair and hoodie, a typical style reminiscent of your ex-boyfriend. just seeing the sight of him hopping around various clubs while you were left to suffer made megumi’s blood boil.
keeping a safe distance away from your ex, megumi casually follows the fucker, muttering curses beneath his breath upon seeing how happy he was without you. while you remained miserable and hidden within your apartment, he was free to do as he pleased, boasting about how much happier he was without you while searching for a new girl to “play with.”
unable to fight back his anger and rage, megumi walks up to him with his fists clenched, calling out the bastard’s name to get his attention. he only catches a glimpse of megumi before a fist was brought down against his face. a painful crunch was heard as blood began pouring from the asshole’s nose (a sight that sent satisfaction coursing through megumi’s veins).
“what the fuck?! the hell was that for?” the ex wanted to defend himself and get back at megumi for the punch, but something dark seen within the depths of megumi’s eyes prevents the ex from making a single move.
the bastard trembles beneath megumi’s contempt- filled gaze, his shivering only getting worse the moment megumi says your name in response to his question…
{ … }
a flurry of terrified texts comes from your ex, and you could do little than to read each and every one of them with wide eyes.
[ fuck, your new boyfriend is here and he’s gonna kill me !! ]
[ i’m sorry, okay?? i’m sorry for putting you through hell and not treating you well enough! ]
[ please don’t send him after me anymore! i’ll erase myself and block your number just please, tell your boyfriend that i’m sorry! ]
your eyebrows were furrowed in response, head spinning as you were unsure of what was going on. you didn’t have a new boyfriend-
however, the first person you went to after your relationship ended had been your best friend, megumi.
“megumi…” a sudden warmth fills at your chest, believing that he must have done something in your name to help with further protecting your dignity and your heart.
just a few minutes later, you heard someone knocking at the door with a familiar voice calling out to you, “oi, it’s me. let me in?”
tossing aside your phone on the bed, you reach your front door and unlock it, revealing megumi with bags of what you assumed were your favorite takeout meals and some snacks. a tiny smile paints his handsome features as he lets himself in while calling out your name.
“hey, i hope you feel better. if not, i got you some snacks and takeout food. hope you’re hungry and-“
the words die against megumi’s throat when you hug him from behind, pressing your face within his back as you wrapped your arms around his abdomen.
“thank you, thank you so much… you didn’t have to, b-but i’m so glad that you did.”
understanding what you meant, megumi gives you a fond smile while placing a hand over yours, basking in the way you held him even tighter in response.
someday soon, you’ll forget all about this heartache-
and when that day comes, megumi could finally come clean about his own feelings for you, all while swearing to never leave your side.
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a.n. - this is dedicated to my bestie, gwen, and all of you out there who are currently going through the worst breakup of your life 🥹 just know that i believe that you all deserve a type of love like this and should not sacrifice yourself for someone who will not cherish and love you like you need to be cherished and loved ♡
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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sweetbans29 · 2 days
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Injured - PB
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Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader
Summary: You tear your ACL and Paige is there to care for you (based on THIS request)
Warnings: slightly angsty, fluff, Paige as caring GF, role switch when it comes to injury (mirrors timeline of Paige's actual injury)
Word Count: 2.1k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: I am still figuring out how to write for Paige but we are out here trying. Any and all feedback is always welcome!
You never imagined your life to be what it was. At no point growing up did you expect to play college ball or go to one of the best colleges for women's basketball. Basketball was always something you enjoyed and mostly played because your friends played. It wasn't until high school that key people in your life started encouraging you to take it more seriously.
The summer before going into freshman year of high school your middle school coach sat down with you and your parents and highly encouraged them to put you in basketball year-round. He saw something in you that no one else had seen up to this point.
Your parents asked you if you wanted to play year-round and you just shrugged.
You did. Your parents switched you to a high school with a better program. When you weren't dominating on the court in high school, you were dominating on another court - turning the eyes of a lot of coaches and brands.
Your first brand deal was with Gatorade. It was all thanks to your old middle school coach who had some connection within the company and told them they would regret not getting you early. You were only a sophomore when you signed with them.
Your current coach did an interview that explained who you were as a ball player when someone came out right after you closed the brand deal.
"Her mentality when it comes to the game is unmatched. She is a sophomore in high school and is ready to play in college - if you haven't seen her play, you must." Coach Rudd says. When asked about what specifically stands out about the young star compared to other up-and-coming players that colleges are scouting, his response was not what you would expect. "There is no doubt that her talent is seen when she is on the court. That is known. But what impresses me the most is how she brings her teammates into her thought process. She takes the IQ that she has for the game and is able to explain and teach that to her teammates." Coach Rudd says. "There are times I feel like she gives me a run for my money as head coach of this team." Rudd jokes. "The world needs to watch out for her - she may not enjoy standing in the spotlight but it will follow her wherever she goes. She is just getting started." Rudd finishes.
Even with the interviews and the brand deals that followed, it wasn't until colleges started reaching out and asking about your plans for college that it dawned on you to play after high school.
All of your teammates at the time thought it was comical how much you had your head in the sand when it came to how sought out you were. They would tease you endlessly about it, just shrugging them off and playing the game you love.
After becoming one of the most known high school ball players, you committed to UConn to play for Geno. The way he approached you about college ball was different than any other coach had. He understood your basketball mentality better than anyone else had up to this point.
It wasn't until you got to college that it really hit you how many people knew you. You walked into your first practice and the whole team started mumbling about you. Not much bugged you, but for some reason this did.
You feel someone come up beside you but you don't pay them much attention until they speak.
"Don't worry, they aren't saying anything bad - I heard them talking about the freshman superstar that's coming in and how she is going to change the Huskies game for the better. I thought they were talking about me, but then they said your name..." The girl says as she extends her hand to you. "I'm Paige," she says, and you shake her hand introducing yourself.
"Oh I know who you are ma, everyone here does," she says with a little laugh. You pull back a little embarrassed now.
"This is all new," you say trying to justify your body language. That was the truth - not many people talked about you in high school and you just kept your head down. But this was much different.
"Just stick with me, I got you," Paige says and you follow her over.
She was your saving grace freshman year. The more you got to know her - the more you realized you had in common with her. Her understanding of the game, her understanding of outsiders looking in, you both loving the sport and just wanting to play to the best of your ability.
It was toward the end of your freshman year that you admitted your feelings for Paige. You had spent the night at hers and woke up entangled with the blonde. You watched her sleep and decided you had waited long enough. When she woke up, you were already staring at her. As she looked into your eyes, you leaned in and kissed her without warning.
It caught her off-guard but she melted into you.
The two of you decided to keep your relationship as lowkey as possible, knowing that you don't like being in the limelight. You told the team a few weeks in and it came as no surprise to them. Most of the time, Paige took the lead which was nothing out of the ordinary.
Everything in your life had been pretty smooth. It all changed during an early-season game your sophomore year.
You were mid-transition when you pivoted and felt a snap in your knee, immediately falling to the ground. You were guarding a girl from the other team, and by the looks of anyone watching, it looked like she had faked you causing you to lose your footing and fall. It was only when you were on the ground holding your knee that everyone realized something had happened.
Initially, the play kept going. Both teams believed you were going to get up and continue to play. After the other team finished the play, the refs and your team noticed you were still on the ground.
You knew exactly what had happened the second you felt the pop but refused to believe it. After the initial pain, you tried to get up on your own while the play was still going but couldn't. Not that anyone would expect you to but yourself.
Paige was the first person to run over to you, kneeling by you and asking you what hurt. You were holding your knee, rolling around trying to find any sort of unpainful position which didn't come. Your hand kept hitting the ground in frustration.
Paige is yelling furiously at the bench for someone from the medical team to come over to you. No one was moving fast enough for Paige's liking.
She kneels by your side, grabbing the hand that keeps hitting the ground. She knew she could let anyone see how scared she was, but she was terrified. If there was anyone in the building who understood you better than yourself it was Paige.
"Someone is coming, babe. Someone is coming." Paige keeps muttering.
"Just get me up," you say - frustrated with the whole situation.
"Someone is coming." Paige repeats again.
"Get me up!" You yell indirectly at Paige. Paige doesn't want to move you without someone coming to help but Azzi reaches out her hand to help you up. Nika is behind you and hooks her arms under your arms.
"1, 2,3," Azzi counts and you let out a grunt as the two girls lift you up. You balance on one leg as Azzi puts one of your arms around her shoulders, Paige on the other side with Nika still behind you. The three girls help you to the bench - the medical team meeting you halfway.
You see Paige turn to them and yell something that you can't make out.
Paige doesn't want to leave your side but is grabbed by Geno when Azzie and Nika pass you off to go back to the locker room.
"We need you here," Geno says. "They will take care of her," he says as Paige looks down the hall where they had just taken you.
She heads back out on the floor and finishes the game.
You on the other hand were being looked at.
The game ended - it was a total upset. After you left the floor, Paige fouled out leaving the team down two of its best players. When the team made their way back to the locker room, you were lying on one of the tables with your leg elevated with ice. You have your arm covering your face as your mind races with a thousand different thoughts.
Girls from the team come and make their way to you but you don't say a word. Everyone but Paige tries to talk to you and you just give nods or little exhales.
Once the room cleared out - Paige walks up to you.
She puts a hand on your stomach and it is like she releases all the pent-up frustration you had been harboring since going down. You feel tears stream down the sides of your face as you bring your other arm up to stifle the cries that are coming whether you want them to or not.
"It's all so stupid." You say. Paige pulls up a chair and sits next to you.
You don't say anything for a few minutes.
"I'm stupid." You finally say.
"Don't say that ma, you aren't stupid," Paige says as her hands come up to remove your arms from your face.
Your arms fall and she begins to rub the one closest to you.
"This could have happened to anyone," she continues. "I know this sucks - it is the last thing you want to be dealing with right now but this isn't the end okay?"
Paige sits there knowing that if the roles were reversed, there is nothing that you could say to make her feel better about the situation. So she just sits there with you, holding your hand and rubbing your arm until you are cleared to go home.
Paige takes you home that night You don't say much but you are incredibly thankful your girl is there.
She helps you into bed and runs out to get you all the necessities. Your phone is turned off, not wanting to hear what anyone has to say about what happened.
When Paige walks back in, she hands you some meds and water.
"I let your parents know how you are doing," she says in the softest voice. You don't look at her, knowing if you do, tears will begin to fall.
She comes and lays next to you, opening her side up for you to cuddle into. She makes sure your leg is positioned well before you finally feel her settle and exhale.
After a few minutes, you speak.
"It's funny how I wasn't even thinking about college basketball until someone mentioned it to me. I never would have imagined playing past high school. I mean I have always loved the sport and knew I would always play but coming here and playing at this level has been amazing. It opened my eyes to the potential of more. The potential of a championship. The potential of multiple championships. The potential of the W. The potential of coaching someday. If there is anything that this injury has shown me it's that I'm not finished." You say.
"I am going to do what I need to do to come back better than I left the court. Not only physically but mentally. The world has no idea the drive that is burning inside me." You finish.
Paige can feel your breath pick up as you talk - only backing up what you are saying. She kisses the top of your head with a smile.
"I have no doubts that you will come back better." She says as she intertwines her fingers with hers. "But for now, I need you to rest, ma."
You nod.
"Rest is good." You say with a yawn. "But tomorrow we start."
"How about we give you a week or two, then we can talk about it," Paige says knowing you are going to be a challenging girl to care for. "We will have plenty of time to get you where you want to be, but before then we gotta get you fixed up." She is rubbing your thigh.
"We will see about that," you say and nestle into your girl.
Right as you are about to fall asleep, you let out a deep sigh.
"Thank you, P," you say. "Thank you for knowing me and loving me for me." You say knowing you can be a lot.
"I can't imagine my life with anyone else," Paige says, voice laced with sleep.
"Good," you say. "Because you are stuck with me."
AN: First Paige request in the books. Hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 💙
177 notes · View notes
hoseoksluna · 3 days
Text
BERRIES | jjk ft. jhs
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pairing: ex-boyfriend!jungkook x oc (feat. hobi)
genre: angst, tiny fluff, itty bitty smut
word count: 6.0k
summary: your ex-boyfriend shouldn't have this much influence over you when you have a new man, should he?
playlist: berries / pinterest board: berries
warnings: depression, daddy issues, use of titles, oc has dirty thoughts about hobi (do we blame her? no, we do not), slowburn, implied sex, dd/lg, soft argument
note: this took every last bit of my strength, so i had to split it up. i'm sorry if this is a piece of absolute shit, but as you all know work this week squeezed everything out of me and i'm so exhausted that i'm not even sure if this is worth posting. i struggled a lot with this fic, rewrote it multiple times, and i'm so very happy that it's finished. i hope you all enjoy the start of a new series, this time a slowburn that will have more parts, more depth and everything. and surprise! it features hobi, my beautiful husband. it was my first time writing about him and he's missing so terribly from my soul that it was one of the reasons why i struggled so much. i wish it weren't like this for my first time with him, but oh well. i hope you, guys, enjoy. please, let me know what you think. <3
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The satiny material of your cream-colored dress must be the one and the same that these sculptures had worn centuries ago. You can almost imagine the softness kissing your fingerprint instead of the cool stone as you graze your touch against each and every immortalized angel of loveliness. You’re stirred by a sense of poignancy—that you’re alive and they’re not and yet you believe that as you stare at them, feel what they’ve been through the more you study their eternal expressions, they stare right back with their eternally tender eyes, see right through you, through your heart, know its contents. You wish you were in their place instead; you’re sure they would’ve handled your cursed life better than you can. 
Or you wish you were as stony as them. 
But you’re an opulent fountain of emotions that are anything but gentle. 
This thought distracts your attention from the way your feet ache in the boots you chose to wear to impress your date. Thigh high, with black knee socks underneath to keep you warm from the cruel breath of autumn. Hoseok is carrying your trenchcoat as you’re adventuring on your own in this art museum and that’s the only sliver of kindness he’s shown you this very morning. 
The only compliment you’ve received from him was a nonverbal one. An up and down look with a smirk creeping in when he picked you up at your apartment. No hug, no caress. You felt so small—and awkward a little bit, comparison rushing in. Not in the form of a wave of the sea, but in the form of a snake, its thick body tightening around your throat. An ouroboros, which made you regret going out on a date so soon. 
It hasn’t even been a month since you’ve become a single girl again, learning how to walk in this new, harsh reality, your legs wobbly, weak and too, too heavy. And the lack of comfortable physical contact made you see your ex-boyfriend before your own eyes, the memory of how he acted at the beginning of your first date. The way he picked you up into his arms due to his excitement of being with you and carried you inside his car. He put on your seatbelt for you. Drove carefully. Held your hand as he led you to the restaurant he picked for you. Even during the walk after while you talked about the stars and you couldn’t help but tell him that his eyes were filled with them. 
Hoseok did neither of those things. He had asked you where you wanted to go and you’ve wanted to visit the museum for quite a while, so you suggested it. He had agreed, no sort of enthusiasm evident in his voice muffled by the phone call. And you’ve barely exchanged a few words during the half an hour of your time spent here, let alone led an entire conversation. You should’ve heeded the warning when it was right in front of you.
Hoseok is certainly not of the artistic kind. 
Looks quite bored as you turn your head to look at him, your coat dangling from his arm so terribly devastatingly. And when you focus your gaze to your right, where a dark wine-tinged room, with golden frames of paintings, awaits you and where you’ve longed to go the moment you stepped a foot inside this grand building, a distaste pools on your tongue, your former aesthetic elation ruined. 
You’re surprised he didn’t stand you up. 
You don’t even want to take pictures. As a matter of fact, you want to go home. But you can’t. Can’t ravage your only possibility and means of forgetting the person you still love. Can’t really encourage Hoseok to leave your life, not when you’re the type of person that doesn’t find love upon every corner you turn to. 
This is your only chance. And he’s the only man you’ll conceivably have in your life for quite some time. 
You walk up to him and take your coat from his arm. His eyes deepen on you, in fact they haven’t strayed from you during the entire half an hour—and that bothers you. If your ex-boyfriend were here, he’d share the beauty with you. Make you laugh so hard that the sound would echo around the vast room. Perhaps give life to the sculptures and they would laugh along, too. 
Your heart hangs heavy in your chest, sinks ever so slowly and you can’t bear it. You need to leave. Take this date elsewhere, hope for betterment to grace you—to have but a fragment of pity for you. 
“You hungry?” you ask, softly, willing your voice to be smooth and not divulge the brassy storm of your emotions to him. Hoseok doesn’t know anything about you. Doesn’t know that you yearn for another person to be standing in his place. “Did you have breakfast?” 
Hoseok needed the date to be in the early hours. Said he had a meeting in the afternoon. Would be working on a project with his colleagues until the late hours. You didn’t mind, not really, in fact it animated you—brought briskness into the sadness of your headspace, knowing it was rainy and cloudy outside. Perfect weather for the influence of the arts. That is, until you realized that it was a grave mistake to take a businessman to a museum; that you dragged a heathen to a church.
Hoseok shifts his weight on each foot, his shoulders swaying with the movement, and he licks his lip, bringing your attention to them. Small, but full—you wonder what they would feel like against yours. Wonder if he’d be gentle with you or violent. If he’d stroke your hair or grip it; fondle the ribbon you’re wearing in a half up do or untie it, entirely. Use it for another means like your ex-boyfriend invariably did. 
Your distaste grows, but not for Hoseok. It grows like poison ivy for yourself and your tendency to compare him with someone he doesn’t deserve to be juxtaposed with. 
Guilt blossoms in your sternum, the leaves of that poison ivy. Pretty to the eye, but deadly for the body. Just like you. You’re too baneful for such a pretty man like Hoseok. You’d do well to respect his boundaries and abstain from physical contact, prevent red rashes from marring his skin.
“I haven’t eaten yet,” Hoseok says, just as softly, rubbing the nape of his neck, the black cloth of his dress shirt taut over his arms—a pretty sight, one that could be hanging in the wine-tinged room for generations to gawk upon. “Truth be told, I was too nervous.” 
A brief smile adorns his slender face and you melt, the poison ivy scratching you raw. Your heart picks up its rhythm, flattery clothing it in a protective layer and you pout, your hand itching to graze his forearm. But a hidden fight rises in you, an army of darkness ready with their bows, their arrows shooting thoughts into your brain about how little you’re worthy of such kindness and favor. 
Though when Hoseok blushes upon seeing your tender expression, it gives you some sort of strength to stand tall against those demons. Despite the fact you don’t understand it, you don’t question it either and you cling to it, sensing its freedom speaking to you in a foreign language. A yearning forms in you, one you haven’t yet had the possibility of meeting. A yearning to learn its syntax and vocabulary. And when you give in to it, the poison ivy in you lessens. 
This is good. 
You reciprocate his smile and you coo. Find it the easiest thing in the world. And because you’re so grateful for what he’s unwittingly done for you, you decide to share your truth with him as well. 
“Let’s go eat, then.” Your eyes crinkle and you’d bet light flickers in them, for your whole body does, you sense it. A warm light enlarges on its axis, taking a hold of the heaviness you felt. “There’s no need to be nervous. It’s what I told myself when I was getting ready. My stomach hurt and believe it or not when I told myself these words, it stopped.” 
Hoseok chuckles, his arm slapping back to his side, but you notice that it trembles. You’re so touched by it that you become angry at yourself, self-hatred clashing with that warmth. You misinterpreted him so unfairly and what’s more, you wallowed in your brokenness and your heartbreak, when Hoseok had been nervous and timid the whole time, which now sheds light on his lack of closeness with you. 
You’re despicable. And the awareness of it transforms into that snake tightening around your throat again. Only this time, you welcome it. Long for it to take your life. It’s the least you deserve. 
But you’re not letting yourself loll in the bed of your horrendous emotions. No, you lift your hand and you caress his arm, the one that quakes. And amidst the sepulchral attention of the sculptures, you’re a witness to that trembling’s halt, to Hoseok’s visible tranquility, and you want to weep. 
You know if you were to gaze at the eternal angels of beauty, you’d see stony tears appear on their ivory cheeks, too. 
“I’m sorry,” Hoseok mumbles and you curl your brows in confusion, not knowing what he’s apologizing for. Hoseok opens his mouth again to speak, but he pauses, sloshing the words in his mouth. You feel so bad that a craving to better yourself overcomes your entire being. “I’m sorry for being such a buzzkill. If you wanna explore this place more, we can. I saw you looking at the room with the paintings.” 
He tilts his head in the direction of the aforementioned room, but you care very little about it as of now. You’d much rather take this elsewhere and get to know him better, so you don’t make the mistake of distorting him again. You’re not very keen on forcing a heathen to pray, either, however you do appreciate his willingness and attentiveness. Carry those things into your jarred heart, fold them inside its chambers, the edge pieces to the puzzle of his personality. 
“Don’t worry,” you murmur, taking it one step further and hooking your arm around his. Hoseok sighs, his shyness slowly breaking apart as he clasps his hand over yours and if you could dissolve any more, now would be the perfect time for it. His hold is strong and steady—and it creates something stable within you, an orchard of fruit trees, pink and green, and bushes of berries, a safe place you want to rest in; lay down your brokenness and woes in. “You’re good. No need to apologize.”
His blush deepens at the reassurance and he smiles, softly, running his thumb over your knuckles. And the gratefulness you feel due to the fact he’s touching you, it is the rain that freshens up the apples and cherries hanging on the twigs of those trees, guiding it into full bloom. You focus on it—focus on the thick, cottony material of his dress shirt as you rub his forearm in response. You want to acknowledge yourself with the unspoken parts of him like these, remember them, allow them to heal you and crack the plaster over your heart. 
And there you hear it. The crumble as Hoseok leans in and presses a chaste peck onto your cheek, lingering there for a second more, inhaling your sandalwood scent. And his smile widens as he looks down on you at such close proximity, erasing your touch-starvation once and for all. It’s your turn to blush now and you feel an inkling to shy away from his gaze, but you stifle it back. Curl your mouth in a smile—your heart thumping louder amidst the orchard now that it has more space to function in. 
“No, I really want to apologize. It’s been too long since I’ve been on a date and you’re so stunning that I’ve forgotten my game, so I can’t help but to be nervous. I don’t know how to act around you,” he says, mutedly, punctuating his sentence with a breathy laugh, glimmering eyes flicking to the lining of your silky neckline just below your collarbones, tracing the miniature cherub hung up on your dainty necklace plated in gold, motionless against your dress. Your own heart grows wings and momentum in its place, fluttering in haste to move closer to him. He bores his gaze back into yours, letting it stay there. “Art isn’t really my thing, but you look like you belong here. Look like all those angels around.” He nods at your necklace. “And like that angel, too. Can I take a picture of you?”
You’re so taken aback that you don’t have time to respond. Pulling out his phone from the pocket of his dress pants, he withdraws from you and gently ushers you in the direction of the closest angel, your trenchcoat slung over his arm again, vibrating with life. He positions you how he likes—right in front of the immense sculpture, your head turned slightly to the side so the wisps of your white ribbon in your hair can be seen. His touch grounds you, tells your bloodstream, your organs that everything is okay, repeats it a little louder to your headspace—all before war could be declared with you. 
Hoseok, the prince of peace. 
The prince that crouches to the dirty floor so the vastness of the angel’s wings can fit in the shot. Yours, too. You think you’ve grown a pair of your own, alongside your heart, now that your shared honesty brought you closer.
You struggle to hold back your sob, to stop the corners of your mouth from rounding, your chin from quivering—all because the lightness that you sense wrapping over your heart is one you haven’t felt in a really long time. You feel taken care of, feel like you can depend on him, and while you can’t explain why you feel that way, you consider that such an immense blessing, regardless. So much that your eyes wet for the camera, but you don’t mind. Let that be captured in the memory—the mending that occurred. And let that be safe with him. 
You smile and the flash goes off, which causes you to burst into giggles, your liquid softness forgotten, and run to him, your palm covering his phone camera so nobody sees his defiance. You look around to make sure no employee is in sight before you face him, cheeks warm, heart warm, wings warm, body warm. Hoseok quirks a brow, confused, gaping up at you from his position, and you take a deep breath to halt another inrush of laughter.
“You can’t take pictures with flash here. They’ll throw us out,” you whisper-shout, your giggles escaping your tightened mouth. His own forms into an ‘O’, fingers clicking on his screen, presumably turning off the automatic flash.
“I didn’t know,” he whisper-shouts back, mouth stretched in a lopsided grin. “I haven’t been here since I was a kid.” You shake your head, shoulders still shaking with the last of your giggles. He probably didn’t have a phone back then, which makes it even funnier. He inspects his settings again to make sure it’s all good before his hand finds your thigh and pushes you back. “Okay, I turned it off. Go back to the angel.” 
It’s your whole body that flutters now, not just your heart, both pairs of wings unfurling, and when you retrace your steps, you still feel the heat of his touch—half on the fabric of your dress, half on your bare skin. And as you smile more naturally for the picture this time, greed kisses your core. A greed for more of his touch; on the same place as well as elsewhere. 
A twinkle of where he could possibly touch you flashes before your eyes and it’s all your focal point consists of when you turn your head to your former position the way he wanted it and he praises you for it: “Good, good.” 
Your muscles clench as you imagine his hand going underneath the fabric, exploring what’s hidden in there for him. The words of praise he would utter at the discovery of your private flesh. Your ears must be red. Such a twist of events you didn’t expect. A meek form of demureness creeps in, enveloping you in a feminine sensuality and you’ve missed feeling this way. Missed feeling pretty and alluring for yourself first, then for a man second. Missed being the center of your attention like this, of someone else’s as well. 
You’ve always loved it. Perhaps due to the fact that you very seldom have it—so when it does come, it changes your life and you attach your being to it. 
You didn’t anticipate going home with Hoseok, especially not on the first date. But because you’re being fed, you don’t really care about being proper. You want to go home with him and so you simply shall. 
Can’t let the opportunity run away from you. 
And so you arch your back a little bit more, look up at the angel and give her your silent thanks, your hair flowing around your form when you flick your gaze back to Hoseok to see him concentrated on the task, his smooth features gravely serious. Your stomach flips. 
“Now from the back,” he instructs without lifting his eyes off of the screen of his phone. “Just like you were.” 
A breath lodges in your throat, the double meaning burning the poison ivy down to ashes and you swallow it, let your stomach acid consume it until there’s nothing left of it, until all that your body carries is nothing but the lightness and the seductiveness that Hoseok gracefully gave you, the comfortable heft of the wings that grew because of him. 
It’s those things that drive forth your following words with the world’s ease, unabashedly. 
“You want it from the back?” 
Hoseok’s mouth parts and the look he exchanges with you should chill your blood, but it doesn’t. If anything, it boils it. The heat that wafts off it pools in your core before ascending to your imaginary wings, leaving them dripping with sweat and the dew of titillation. Hoseok’s eyes narrow, shadowed by the furrow of his brows, encouraging it all the more. 
There is it—the heady energy shift, permeated with the sweetest of berry juices, stemming from lust, from the orchard he planted in you. Strengthening your allure, steeling you from head to toe. You submit to it; kneel into it, notionally. Your elation raises from the dead—and you grin. 
“Behave.”
A pulse in your private parts. The lengthening of your expression of delight. Your wings, your muscles clench and the same winged creatures soar to your heart from your stomach, squeezing the beating flesh. You swivel on your heels, the hem of your dress rippling, exposing more of your tender skin, the ribbon in your hair following suit. 
Hoseok sucks in a breath. Your cheeks ache from the joy’s strain and it is utterly exhilarating to you. 
“Yes, sir.” 
Hoseok coos his approval and you can’t take it anymore. You let him take a few more pictures as you move around, dancing in your own way, running your fingers through your hair, trying to distract yourself from the throbbing between your legs, but to no avail. And when you sigh and face him head-on, Hoseok is already on his feet, walking towards you with a reappearing lopsided grin that forces the butterflies gnawing at your heart to go absolutely rampant. 
You’re done for. You need to take him home. You’re not even curious about how the pictures came out—you can always look at them later. 
Hoseok seems to know about your neediness because when he crosses the distance, he cups your chin. Makes you look up at him. And his smirk deepens while your heart increases in size, wings flitting at the special attention. 
“Such a pretty girl,” he murmurs, caressing your skin with his thumb. Your eyes round and the heat you feel is sweltering underneath your clothes. All the more reason for him to take them off. “The pictures are great. Wanna see?” 
Biting your lip, you shake your head, briefly. “What I want is to make you breakfast,” you say, mirroring his tone, hoping he gets the hint. 
Hoseok waggles your chin, humming. “Oh, yeah?” 
Fuck. If his scolding already didn’t make you submissive, then his response and his actions have. You wet your mouth, teeth instinctively sinking back in, and only nod. Hoseok opens your coat and covers your shoulders in its warmth, pressing the cotton twill fabric against your sternum. 
“Thank you, sir.” 
A fond sound pours out of him and the fact that he likes to be called by that title heightens the pulse between your legs. “Let’s go.” 
He leads you towards the exit with a hand on the small of your back and you’re so happy to be touched at last that with a final look at the angels, you send out your silent love and goodbye to them, thank them one last time for the kindness you received because of them, one that you so ferociously sought after and longed for. 
They seem to bow to you, happy to be of service, and you smile so profoundly that you feel as though nothing could stain your joy and mar it all over again. They wouldn’t allow that to happen—and a tendril of hope burst open within you like sunlight tearing through clouds, one that is suffused with the notion that Hoseok would stand in the way, side by side with those sculptures, too.
And he does when you swivel your head back and catch a glance of someone you know. 
A piercing on the side of his brow, unchanged from the last time you saw him. Round eyes, murky. Ashen complexion that used to bloom with vibrant tints. Full, soft-toned mouth, ever so stuck in that pout, one you used to kiss until it bruised. 
Your bloodstream doesn’t cease its flow. Not until you notice the person beside him. 
A girl with an aura so cataclysmic that it forces you to stop dead in your tracks. An August night storm personified, obnoxiously sweet-smelling of the past summer that you spent with her companion. The hollow, funereal scent of a meadow doused in petrichor—she walks with it, her hands intertwined before her in a clasp. 
You wished for him to be in Hoseok’s place so ardently that he appeared. And now that you contemplate him, the lack of distance between him and the girl, it makes you regret that you ever did. 
Because, unknowingly, it drenched you in gasoline and his presence is a lighter, hers the hand that has flicked it to life and now serenely holds it against your skin, waiting until the flames, little by little, devour you whole. 
And the job is finished when both of their heads whirl, meeting your livid stare. 
And Jungkook, too, stops dead in his tracks. 
“Do you know him?” Hoseok asks and you find it strange that you can hear him when all you can see is red. 
And the red fades into the matching black shirt that Jungkook is wearing, into his bluntly pained mien; into the strands of his date’s short hair and her scrunched up brows as she regards you with a strong aversion that makes you scoff. And the same red weakens when Hoseok turns your attention to him by playing with the ends of your ribbon, grazing them before twirling them around his finger. 
A breath of fresh air, he is. 
You don’t know what to say. Don’t know whether to tell him the truth or come up with something that won’t devastate what you have currently going on with him. But if you lie to him, you’ll stumble into a dead end you’d much rather stay clear of. You’d see it before your eyes once you do take him home and it would ruin the newness he brought up with you, preventing it from taking root in you. 
Devastation awaits you in either case. Both you and Hoseok. 
Cursed, your life is. Doomed, absolutely fucking doomed. 
What would the angels do in your place? 
Seeking their wisdom behind you, it is not in them that you find your answer, but in the passing pair dressed in black, making their way over to the dark-wined room. He’s pretending he didn’t see you at all, walking away from you without saying a word, despite the fact you broke up on good terms. 
You worshiped him in this very building almost on your knees and he dismissed you as if you meant nothing to him, caring for the feelings of his date, instead. 
Peculiarly, the sentiments Hoseok installed in you, both of the passionate and the soft kind, turn that fire blue and it becomes the driving force that guides you to act without a single thought spared. 
“Yeah, I do know him. Do you mind if I quickly say hi to him?”
The corner of Hoseok’s mouth curls and he caresses your hair down your back one last time.  “Go, I’ll get the car ready.” 
Such a confident, strong man, broken out of the confines of his former timidness. Not possessive, nor insecure—letting you do what you want. Respectful of your personal life that doesn’t include him just yet. And for that very reason it will—as soon as you’re done putting out that fire in you. 
It’s not only you that has gone through a change upon this hour and it strikes your awe, enough for you to lean in and peck his cheek, just like he did to you. 
Hoseok makes a sound of endearment, pivots on his feet to leave you to it, but you grab a hold of his hand. Have a need to say something to him. 
His brows rise at the attention and you brush your hand across his knuckles, mimicking his previous actions, having learned them, intimately. 
“Thank you, Hoseok. Really,” you say with a smile that could magnetically pull the sunlight out of its hiding place behind the clouds and bathe this bizarre room in light. You squeeze his hand. 
A swirl of shyness flushes his face in rose pink and he shakes his head. “No need to thank me,” he assures, reciprocating the smile. “And call me Hobi. You can save Hoseok for later.” 
Your jaw falls open and Hoseok chuckles, warmly, deepening the pulse between your legs until a wet spot adorns your panties beneath your dress, one that you look forward to showing him at the aforementioned time. 
He pivots again and you watch his tall, lean figure leave. Back muscles clothed in black, straining against the fabric. He must’ve undergone his military service. 
A beautiful man. You can’t wait to taste him. Taste that manliness. 
Loosening a breath, you turn around to search for your ex-boyfriend. And much to your dismay, he’s appreciating the angel sculpture—the very one and only Hoseok took your pictures with. Fire licks at your every nerve ending, but then you notice that his date is nowhere in sight. 
A perfect opportunity to do what you want to do. 
Pulling out your phone out of your little purse, you look for his name in the history of your calls and tap on it, placing the device against your ear, your hoop earrings clashing against the screen. You watch him palm his pocket as the vibration disturbs his aesthetic pleasure and he casts a long glance at your name filling up his screen. Doesn’t comb his gaze through his surroundings. No, he seems to be transfixed by the twist of events and when he swipes his finger to accept the call, his stare begins to dig a hole into the dirty, marble floor. 
Doesn’t say anything. 
You scoff, fury grazing your fire. “You’re pretending not to know me? That’s low.” His pout rounds and the tip of his shoe traces the edges of the ruination he’s caused. Remains silent. “Who’s your little girlfriend? I thought you’d introduce me. Where is she, anyways?” 
It’s him who scoffs now and he flicks his gaze towards the face of the angel. It’s like he’s staring right at you. “You shouldn’t be doing this, little one.” 
The too familiar pet name brings agony to your heart and you would break had Hoseok not given you his strength, if the dependability of him waiting for you outside wasn’t real. And the allure and the lightness in you, perhaps the very love of the sculptures encompassing you—all of those things only vivify your solidity. You have no reason to break, you’re safe. 
“Well, I think you should be a good Daddy and meet me right there in the red room,” you seethe, glad for the anger to be lingering in you, for the utterance of the title leaving you unscathed. You’re just giving him a taste of his own poison, nothing else. 
Jungkook runs a hand through his hair and sighs, clenching his jaw. “Don’t call me that.” 
You chuckle, enlivened by the provocation. “I can do whatever I want. Besides, you started it.” 
He grits his teeth. “Not when you’re talking to me, you can’t.” 
Your fire rises in overwhelming waves, your curt response ready on your tongue, but Jungkook hangs up, making you shut your mouth, instantly. 
You hate him for that; hate him with the entirety of your being. 
What has happened to your friendship? To the sweet, weeping Jungkook who broke up with you because he didn’t want to cause you any more pain with the state of his mental health, who has been dealing with depression for so long that he’s reached a point of no return, a lightless room with no windows, where all he saw was you, and he didn’t want you to be a victim of such unhealthy attachment. So he bid you goodbye, hugged you until you couldn’t breathe and let you go. 
Three weeks ago. 
You haven’t seen him or heard from him since until now. Until you’ve found someone else and moved on with your life. That’s just your luck. 
And now the person you’re gazing at, it’s not the same one that wept against your chest. Yes, he might have been strict with you during intimate times, teased you with his fatherliness during the day even—but that invariably was imbued with the mellowness of love. 
Try as you may while his words ring in your headspace, you cannot unearth any trace of that same mellowness in it. Only bitterness, coldness and a profound darkness. 
Jungkook pockets his phone and, leaving both of his hands there, sunk deeply, he walks over to the wine-tinged room, his frown obscuring the place in gloom. Murky clouds, personified. A perfect match to the storm of his companion. Bile lodges inside your throat. 
You follow after him, your feet aching terribly in your boots, but it serves as some kind of alleviation to the tautness of your emotions, of your confusion, disgust and offence. Makes you feel better—because once you see Jungkook ogling a certain painting of a woman beaming at him softly, dressed in flowers, blues and greens as the redness akin to your fire burns in her background, the agony tries to slither its way inside your heart, but fails.
You’re a locked orchard. 
Jungkook senses your presence and he swivels, biting the inside of his cheek, pierced brow quirking. There’s a strain to his shoulders and his Adam’s apple bobbles as he takes in your appearance. The creaminess of your short, silky dress, the darker shade of the same color of your trenchcoat slung loosely over your shoulders, exposing your brown, leather, high-heeled boots, your matching purse clutched in both of your hands as you strut towards him. Calm, all of a sudden. It does nothing to you, nothing whatsoever—your heart momentarily attached to Hoseok.
“I thought you’d already left,” he murmurs, tipping up his chin. Begins to sway back and forth on the balls of his feet, the carmine hues of the room swathing him in a deeper shade of darkness. “Isn’t your boyfriend waiting for you?” 
You don’t bother to correct him. It’s none of his business who Hobi is to you, not when he treated you like a stranger.
“We were about to leave, but then I saw your actions,” you say, quite monotonously, your calmness as disturbing as it is triumphant. You yourself even wonder at it. “What the fuck was that?” 
A smirk. “Glad to know I still have some kind of effect on you.” 
You scrunch up your brows, distaste once again pooling in your mouth. “Trust me, I would’ve done this with anyone I know. You’re not special.” 
His smirk widens. “So, you’re not jealous?” He rubs the side of his jaw, staring at you, intently, and disgust comes over you like a splash of a wave, soaking you in cold sweat. 
He did it for that very reason—to make you jealous. Walked right past you, just to get a rise out of you. As much as you loved him half an hour ago, that affection turns into dust within you, sprinkling the fruit trees and the berry brushes with its gray smithereens, poisoning them. 
Ouroboros, all over again. Full circle. Anger covers your disgust. 
A voice echoes within the room. Airy and light, as feminine as it is otherworldly, and you know, without a doubt, who it belongs to. It doesn’t suit her, not in the slightest. 
“There you are,” your ex-boyfriend’s companion trails off, the clapping of her flat shoes halting. “Who are you?” 
You only turn your head to the side, signaling to her that you’ve heard her question, because you fix your stare back at Jungkook as you answer it. “It’s not something you should trouble yourself with. Can you give us a minute?” 
You don’t hear any movement, so she must be stubbornly staying where she is. All right, she can join the conversation for all you care. 
When you turn your head back around, you catch stars oozing from Jungkook’s eyes, a conveyance of adornment painting his face in gentle colors that could never be associated with this room. There it is, the face you know, so resplendent of the one you last saw. And it grazes your anger, whispers to it that it was a mistake, a game of pretense, because you’re reverently acknowledged with his soul—you know who he is. While it may explain his fucked-up behavior, you don’t soften. Not at the hint of familiarity. Not even at the hushed hint of your deduction telling you that the reason why he unmasked himself was because you chose him and didn’t run away when his companion spoiled your short time together. 
You don’t soften because you simply don’t want to. 
You don’t want to give in to any means of getting close to him. 
The chapter is finished. You shouldn’t have called him. You should’ve left with Hobi. 
You don’t wish to keep him waiting long, nor do you wish to keep sprawling in your mistake. You pivot, ready to leave, but Jungkook captures your hand. Desirousness palpitates in his eyes as if he, too, needed to tell you something of urgency. 
You’ll hear him out, but that’s the end of it. 
“Can I see you later?” he asks, pupils growing in size until they absorb his chocolate irises, his grip over your hand tight and heated. A wind blows in your orchard, sweeping away all the darkened smithereens left by the bane, freshening you up. 
You don’t really think that’s a good idea. 
“I won’t have time for you later, I’ll be with Hoseok.” 
To Hobi, you won’t lie, but the same can’t be applied to Jungkook. 
His breath hitches in his throat, disappointment weighing him down, the thought of you being intimate with someone who is not him causing his posture to slouch even more. 
But he surprises you with the words he says next. 
“I’ll wait, then. Let me know when you’re alone.” 
And you surprise yourself even more when you nod, turning on your heel and scurrying off to meet Hobi outside. 
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simpxxstan · 3 days
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lunch (lee seokmin x f.reader)
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pairing: elementary school teachers lee seokmin x f.reader
genre: fluff, fluff and some more fluff. a tiny pinch of angst.
summary: as a veteran at sebong elementary school, you don't let any of your juniors get too close to you. the new science teacher, lee seokmin, doesn't seem to get the note, though.
word count: 9.6k words
rating: pg 13 
warnings: use of a few profanities, mention of alcohol and illegal gambling. reader is a bit cold in the beginning. slight age gap.
a/n: SO MUCH FLUFF my body hurts but it was so nice to just write good guy dokyeom after all that angst for wonwoo. i'm sorry to any hyungwon fans who may be reading this though T_T
would love to hear feedback!! reblogs and comments are so so much appreciated <3
this is part of the boys over flowers series featuring booseoksoon + chan! this is the first instalment in that series.
It was a day of much ruckus and excitement. The teachers and students were all waiting eagerly to meet the four new teachers who were joining Sebong Elementary School that day. Children with bright cherub faces peeped from their classroom windows, some crowded in the corridors, and teachers whispered loudly, as they all waited to see the four faces of the new teachers emerge from the Principal’s office. And when they finally did, a loud, collective gasp was heard rippling through every room and corner of Sebong Elementary School. And then the bubble broke, as loud whispers and giggling overtook every other noise, as the four men smiled at the kids and adults gathered through the school. They shone brighter than the tubelights on the ceiling-
“Okay, I think you’re exaggerating, Sohee. I’m sure they don’t have 1000 watt smiles.”
“Oh, Y/N, but they do! Even an ice queen like you is going to melt when you see them. They just exude warmth, kindness, and handsomeness. They look like idols, really!” 
“Now you’re definitely exaggerating. Park carefully, and don’t daydream please. I’ve been nervous from the moment I let you drive my car.”
“It’s a third-hand car. I should, in fact, smash it, so that you can buy something better. The government’s just moments away from declaring it as junk.”
“This is all I can afford, Sohee.”
“Car loans exist!”
“Bankruptcy exists!”
Sohee huffs, and you meticulously check the rear view mirror to ensure she parks neatly. Once done, (read, once Sohee has finished touching up her lipstick and her mascara, and put a few cute hairclips in her long brown hair, cute by her metrics), you both step out of the car. The heat has become harsher, and you’re a little taken aback by the sting of sunlight on your skin. But it feels good to be out again after that stupid bout of fever which had kept you away from school, and consequently, your life. 
You meet several students getting out from the bus in front of the school, some smiling and already chattering with their friends, others shyly holding on to the fingers of their parents. Some of them wave hi to you, others loudly squeal their welcome backs. Your morning grumpiness is slowly wearing away, and you can feel energy bubbling in. It’s barely been the start of the year, and the little ones are very, very gradually warming up to the idea of being away from home for longer than three hours. It’s a trying time for their teachers, and you’re grateful that you don’t teach the youngest class. 
On the short walk from the parking area to the school, and it’s such a miracle that Sohee doesn’t start talking about the four new teachers, because you’re frankly tired of hearing about them. It feels like they don’t exist, and even if they do, they’re going to be massive letdowns compared to Sohee’s descriptions. Sohee does have the habit of hyperbole. 
But you fall headfirst into it as you slide open the door to the staffroom. Everyone stands up and greets you, as you’re one of the earliest members of the staff. You’d like to think that their greetings are out of affection, and not just respect, but you don’t mind. Majority of the staff is quite young, and people look up to you as the sunbae, and it’s a position of respect you crave and enjoy. It’s not like you’re great at showing how you love them either. You can just hope that they get to know about it from time to time, and don’t hate you for not being too affectionate.
As everyone stands up, you bow to the general crowd, and greet them back, but you’re also welcomed by four unknown faces. 
Oh. They must be the new teachers. 
Well, Sohee wasn’t really wrong-
Sohee immediately sparks up and begins talking about how you had really high fever, and every evening she found you lying inside your bed, covered in blankets like a burrito, messy in snot and sweat-
“Okay, that’s enough. Sohee, please spare them the details of my ugly illness.” You’re embarrassed and quite red all over, and out of the corner of your eye, you’re watching the reactions of the four new men. Sure, you may not care much about what other people think, but it’s your first impression after all. Everyone is quite vehemently cooing at you now, and the four men have confused, but concerned expressions on their faces. 
Minseo comes to the rescue, when she diverts the topic to introduce the new faces to you, and you’re grateful for the first time to hear about these new teachers. 
“This is our sunbae, Y/L/N Y/N! She’s one of the first teachers at Sebong Elementary School.” “Aaah, Minseo-yah! You make it sound like she’s old!” Sohee scolds, but you don’t mind. You sure feel old after the way that fever broke your immunity like a twig.
“Aah, sorry. And Y/N Unnie, these are our new joinees this year!” She gestures towards the men, and they bow. You bow in return, and take a full look at them, smiling back at them. 
“Hello! I’m Lee Chan, I’m a ‘99 liner! I’ll work hard and show my best side to you, sunbae!” “Good morning! I’m Boo Seungkwan. Nice to meet you!” “Oh, sunbae, hello! I’m Kwon Soonyoung, I’m also glad to meet you Y/N-ssi!” “And I’m Lee Seokmin! I’ll work hard, please take good care of me, sunbae!” They shake your hands like dominos, and your eyes linger a second too long on the last one, the tall one with the brightest smile. 1000 watt seems about right? “I’m happy to meet you too! Let’s work hard for a long time!” You smile back, and there’s a collective Fighting! through the room, before the school bell rings, and the cacophony of kids entering their classrooms breaks the silence of the school building. 
_
It’s lunchtime, and you’ve already forgotten their names. Sohee insists that you sit with them at the same table for lunch, but you’re not hungry enough to take lunch. It’s been a tiring day, and you just want to sip your iced americano and finish the pending work on your desk in the staffroom. Missing a week of school is as burdensome for teachers as it is for students. There are piles of things left to be done, and you assign yourself the task of finishing filling in the register with the names of the students for that lunch break. The staffroom is empty, and you’re happy to work in peace. 
You’re so focused on your work that you don’t even notice when a tall man walks into the staffroom sometime in the middle of the lunch break, peeps at you from his desk at the other corner of the room, and then leaves. 
_
It’s finally Friday, and that’s how you’ve spent the last four lunch breaks. You’re finally getting through the pile of work at a steady pace. On top of it all, the Principal has promoted you to the Head Teacher of Science Department, as the previous head’s tenure is over, and that means all the science teachers have to approve their lesson plans for this term through you and you’re also in charge of allotting field trips for scientific experiments. 
That’s why Lee Seokmin ambushes you when you’re about to leave at the end of the school day. “Sunbae, I was wondering if you could perhaps look at my lesson plan once? Maybe you could go over it during the weekend?”
You halt your actions of packing your bag, and carefully take the folder from the outstretched hand of the tall man towering over your desk. “Umm, I could look through it now.”
“No, I mean! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to approach you earlier, Sunbae. I’m sorry, I don’t want to keep you from heading home, I’m really sorry-”
“Please stop apologising, Seokmin-ssi. It’s not a big deal. It’s better for me to go through it now in your presence, rather than take it home. I’ll be able to discuss it more smoothly with you then, in case any changes are needed.” 
His puppy brown eyes become tiny slits as he smiles wide. You realise that his hair is draping over his forehead in black curls, and the white shirt he’s wearing reveals the column of his neck very elegantly. He does look good enough to be an idol, you think. 
“Seokmin-ssi, come take a seat here. I won’t bite, in spite of what you may have heard-”
“Oh no! The kids are all praise for you. I’m so thankful to be succeeding you in the classes, because you’ve set such a strong foundation for the students. You’ve made my job a cakewalk, truly.”
“I’m just thankful that you deal with the younger ones now. I enjoy teaching them, but sometimes they can…” You smile lopsidedly, and Seokmin grins. “I’ve heard that I have a lot of patience, sunbae…” “And you have a lot of fighting spirit that we tend to have when we’ve just joined the school. You’ll manage.”
And then the conversation halts. It flows in bits and pieces, as you flip through his lesson plan and discuss changes with him, speaking from experience of having taught these same classes six years more than him. His lesson plan book is very colourful, filled with stickers from cartoons, and brightly drawn smiley flowers. Something in you makes you think that maybe he’s not just doing this as a show for the kids, but also because he likes to do it. He’s very animated in every statement he makes, hand gestures all over his face, but he quietens down when he realises you’re no longer looking at his face, and would rather just get through the work quickly. You’re not annoyed at him, no. It’s just a little overwhelming to see all this energy being thrown at you, and it makes you tired, wondering how to reciprocate it. So you just silently finish your task, and bid him goodbye. He offers to drop you home, but then you say you have your own car, so he gives you another smile and with a natural ease, hops on to his electric bicycle and rides off into the road. 
_
Seokmin-ssi, you realise, doesn’t want reciprocation. He greets you cheerfully every morning, whenever you see him in the campus, whenever you’re making eye contact before leaving for the day, and whenever you both arrive at the same time at school. He doesn’t just say hello, but he also asks if you had a good weekend, if you had a good sleep, if you ate breakfast, if you’ve recovered fully from your cold, if you’re taking your vitamins. It makes you more uncomfortable than before, confusing you whether he’s just buttering you up as a sunbae or whether he’s genuinely this nice. It’s also a little worrying because it makes you feel like he’s trying too hard to be close and you don’t want to be a bother for him, so you hope he takes the hint. But he obviously doesn’t, because the next time you walk into the staffroom determined not to leave your desk, and instead enjoy the peaceful solitude of the staffroom to recharge your battery, you notice a very neat lunch tray sitting on your desk with a note attached on top, “Sunbae, please don’t skip your meals!” It takes you aback, and you stare at it for a good four minutes. Finally you realise you’re too flustered to eat it, and you just keep it aside and get back at your work. 
When Seokmin comes back from his lunch break, he makes the mistake of looking at your desk to see if you’ve eaten, and there. He makes eye contact with your razor sharp eyes looking at him from above your reading glasses. He walks up to your desk and says, “You didn’t eat, sunbae?”
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I- I- just wanted to-”
“Firstly, Seokmin-ssi, I’m not skipping meals. Secondly, I don’t know if this is normal for you, but I’d appreciate it if we could be harmonious as colleagues. I don’t need you to be my mother for me and feed me. I’m an adult and I know when to eat.”
You can see him gulp and fumble, and for a second, you think you’ve been too harsh. You almost backtrack and apologise, scared that the little light in his eyes is going to go out, but he speaks faster, “I just don’t want you to fall sick again, sunbae. I’m sorry if I was too presumptuous. I’ll do better from now on.” And without another second, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you speechless. The light in his eyes may not have gone out, but you sure were too mean. Afterall, he was just being nice to you, wasn’t he?”
_
So, the next week, when you’re finally on track and completed all your pending work, you walk into the cafeteria looking to take a lunch break. And you spot Seokmin sitting with Chan on one table on the teacher’s side of the cafeteria. Chan is a sweet boy, and you want to make amends with Seokmin, so you carefully walk across the room to their table and ask, “Can I have lunch with you?” You ask them both, and Chan instantly begins to clear space for you to sit down, but you’re distracted by how wide Seokmin smiles, and you know the ice has melted. He’s forgiven you, so you gently sit down next to him.
It’s a mistake. You hadn’t accounted for how broad he is, and how much he moves his body while speaking. His thighs inch closer to yours with every movement, although very much unconsciously. Even though you’re both sitting, he’s still taller than you, and it makes you shy.
You’re thankful when Soonyoung joins you across the table and you can distract yourself by speaking to him. “Sunbae, it’s so nice to see you in the cafeteria! We rarely ever see you outside the staffroom.” You smile as wide as you can, your mouth full of food. Chan joins in, “Yes, sunbae! Seokmin hyung’s been so-” “We’ve all been worried,” Seokmin interjects, and you���re hit by a pang of guilt. It is pretty natural for coworkers to care about each other. Especially since you’re their senior and they must be looking to make a good impression. 
“I’ve been a little busy with all pending work. The start of the year can be stressful for us senior teachers.”
“I hear Seungkwan hyung is being put in charge of the after-school creche duty?”
“You’ve heard right, Chan. He did apply for it, and given his congenial personality, I think he’d do well if he joined the creche roster.”
“A roster? That means he won’t have duty every day?” Soonyoung asks you.
“Yes, there will be three teachers alternating from Monday to Friday.”
“Oh! Someone lucky gets one day only!”
“We try to ensure even distribution through the month,” you say. “Plus, of course, there can be others volunteering from time to time. So for example, next month, there’s a storytelling week at the creche. Sohee and I will be volunteering for that week as storytellers- that way, the ones responsible for the creche can have a week’s leave from the extra duty.”
Soonyoung and Chan nod in understanding, but you’ve noticed Seokmin is extra quiet, uncharacteristically even. “Do you enjoy the cafeteria food, Seokmin-ssi?” you ask him, speaking softer so that Chan and Soonyoung can’t hear you. It must surprise him, because he looks up at you with wide, boba eyes, and he looks more like a puppy than ever. “I do! The variety is good.” “I’m glad. The caterers recently got changed. The previous ones were seriously falling behind on quality.” Seokmin smiles and eats a big bite of rice and soup, and you chuckle at the comical way his mouth fills up. 
_
You didn’t even think Seokmin would remember. In fact, you’d forgotten that you’d mentioned it yourself. 
But he does. He doesn’t just remember, but he also brings a bag full of old picture books.
You swear your heart stops the moment he enters the hall where the after-school creche is organized and hands you the bag. “These were books my mother had kept for ages even after I’d finished reading them a million times. Thought I’d use them somehow, instead of just letting them gather dust on shelves,” he says as he smiles that pretty, wide smile again. It’s been long enough into the new semester now for you to get used to both Seokmin’s smiles, so you can bask in it. The children bask in it too. Most of the tiny members of the creche know him from the class where he’s teaching about animals, and they squeal in excitement. “Aah, Seokmin-ah, you really didn’t have to. You could’ve gone home and rested for the weekend.” His smile drops, and you mentally slap yourself. You really should take care of your words better, so you rephrase it, “What I meant is… you don’t have to do this out of your way.” “I’m not… going out of my way. I just thought I’d come and watch you, sunbae. I want to learn how to handle little children even better.” 
So he sits in a corner of the hall, Byul and Jiwon sitting on his lap, while his eyes are fixed on you. You’ve taken the storytelling class two days this week, and this is your third day, so you really shouldn’t be so slippery, but something about how he’s looking at you so intently is making you stumble and fall over your words, and your pronunciation often comes out as jumbled as the three year olds sitting in front of you. You’re made even more aware of Seokmin’s presence when snack time arrives, and the kids are too distracted with the picture books to pay attention to their food and eat. Thankfully, Seokmin uses his charm and somehow gathers everyone to sit in a circle around the table. The children have incessant questions, some about the characters they met in the story, and some random questions too, like Are you married, Teacher Seokmin? It doesn’t matter that you pause in your movements to hear his response, a wide-eyed Minhyun looking confusedly at you, wondering why your hand holding his candy is stuck mid-air. It also doesn’t matter that your heart paces up when you see Seokmin glance in your direction before loudly proclaiming that he’s not married. 
The parents arrive soon after that, and then there’s only a crying Byul left, who’s wrapped in Seokmin’s arms as you three wait for her father to arrive. You wonder for a second, how did you ever handle kids, because when you see how Seokmin handles them, you think you’ve done it all wrong for years. He holds her two tiny hands in his own, places her in between his legs and quietly brushes her hair while whispering more imaginary stories about the elephant Byul saw earlier in the picture book. You feel unwanted in this perfect scene, Byul going perfectly silent as she listens to Seokmin talk. But then, honestly, who wouldn’t be in rapture of this beautiful young man?
Byul’s father arrives twenty minutes later, and Byul gives Seokmin a little peck on his cheek before she leaves his arms and goes off with her dad. 
“Sunbae, thank you for letting me be here! I had so much fun, and I also learnt so much from you.” You laugh, “I doubt, though. You’re such a natural with children.” He smiles, “That’s just because I have a lot of cousins. But it’s different handling kids at school. I always have to be extra-careful with them because I’m a complete stranger and not a relative.” “You’re right, and that shows in your care too, Seokmin-ah.” He blushes, and you smile as you lock up the hall and finally make your way to leave the campus. Your back hurts from sitting on the floor for so long and you’re surely glad to go home.
“Sunbae, did you bring your car?”
“Aah, no. Today was Sohee’s carpooling turn, she left early. I’ll just take the bus.”
“Let me drop you home, sunbae! It’s late already.”
You pause, and turn to look at him. His hopeful face, still radiant after the long day. And you feel that same overwhelming feeling take over you. Till now, Seokmin has only given and given, never expecting anything in return. He’s extended a helping hand without you asking for it, he’s reminded you for meals even when you’ve ignored him, he’s been nothing but kind to you. And if he’s doing this even after three whole months of him joining the school, then it can’t be just buttering tactics. 
“I don’t want to get you late, Seokmin-ah.”
“I won’t, sunbae. It’s not a worry, honestly.” He bites his lower lip, his eyebrows furrowed as he asks you again, “Please let me drop you, sunbae.”
It’s been years since a man has been this kind to you. Kind enough without coming off as a creep. A part of you is wary, but something in Seokmin’s eyes makes you feel guilty for ever mistrusting his intentions. 
“Alright, Seokmin-ah. Noona owes you one.” 
You can see the stutter in his eyes even before you hear it in his voice. 
“N-noona? Oh. Noona! I’ll drive you safely!”
And he does. Diligent, puppy-like, kind Seokmin drives you home quickly and safely. For the first time in years, you sleep with a smile on your face.
_
You enter the Principal’s office to find a very nervous-looking Seokmin standing next to the Principal. “Good Morning, Mr. Han. Is something wrong?” “Yes, good morning Y/N. I’ve just received a complaint from a parent, and as the head of science teachers, I’d like you to look into it once.” “Of course.”
Then you turn towards Seokmin, who is standing very upright, but you can see him nervously twitching his feet. “Seokmin-ssi, is the parent here in school, or have you received a written complaint?” Seokmin’s voice is barely audible the first time he speaks, so you take a couple of steps to be closer to him. “Don’t be so nervous. Please tell me everything so that I can help resolve this.” He looks at you, his eyes still wide, and the tension obvious in his face. But he takes a deep breath and says, “They’re here, in my science classroom.” “And can you tell me the gist of the matter?” “I… I… I had asked her daughter to not draw with crayons on the walls of the science classroom. And one time… I’d asked her daughter to bring more nutritious food to class instead of chips every single day.” He says softly, his eyes focused on the blue linoleum tiles on the floor. You take a deep breath. As you’ve grown more senior, you’ve eventually detached yourself from the classes of the youngest students, those below four years of age. So naturally, you’d not gotten into messes like this for a long time. But with your experience, you know just how to deal with such cases. 
So you excuse yourself from the office and walk down to Seokmin’s homeroom, gesturing him to enter as you both walk into the classroom. It is deserted, except for a very grim-looking gigantic woman standing next to a tiny girl with even tinier braids. “Good morning. I’m Y/L/N Y/N, Head of the Science Department.” “Yes, well, I’m hoping you’d be more competent about it all rather than Mr. Lee here.” 
You forcefully smile tightly and ask, “Please let me know the details of the matter.” “Where do I begin! Mr. Lee has been… very dictatorial with my daughter. First he forbids her from colouring, and then he forces her to starve herself! It’s absolutely ridiculous that a teacher can do such things!” Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokmin shrink further away into the corner, his eyes wide. 
“Based on how well I know Mr. Lee, I can’t imagine him forcing a child to starve themselves. Correct me if I’m wrong, but did he ask her to bring a different set of food for lunch, rather than chips?” “Yes, but-” “And that was purely based on nutritional concerns, Ma’am. As teachers at Sebong Elementary School, we want to ensure our students receive proper nutrition at their growing age. And I can assure you that chips are not the most nutritious food your daughter can eat every day.” “I’m a working mother-” “I’m sure you can buy a fruit or toast a single slice of bread along with a slice of cheese along with the chips, if you’re so busy.” 
 The woman in front of you stands speechless for a second, before continuing in her boisterous tone, “But who are you to dictate what I feed my child?” “Nobody, truly. But Mr. Lee is a kindhearted man, who cares for every child in this school, and even his colleagues and peers like me. As a teacher, he has the best interest of his students in mind, you see.” “Certainly can’t be more than that of her mother.” “Of course, which is why I’d advise you too, as would any other paediatrician, that only chips is not the diet a four-year old child should be exposed to on a daily basis.” 
The woman takes a step back. Her grip on her daughter’s fingers loosen, and the child takes a step forward. “Miss, I really like the grapes Mr. Lee gave me the other day! That’s why I’ve stopped eating Eomma’s lunch!” She smiles at you, and you bend down on your knee to meet her at eye level. “Is that so? But darling, you should always eat what your mummy’s giving you. Good girls don’t skip meals, understood?” She nods her little head very seriously, so you pat her once on her head. Then you stand up again and look at her mother. “I see your daughter does enjoy eating grapes. Perhaps you could buy her some fruits for lunch.”
She tilts her head a little bit, looking fully like a kid who’s been punished for being too outspoken, and honestly you’re glad to have made that effect. Some people can be so entitled and so rude, and it leaves such a harsh impression on softer teachers like Seokmin. Which is exactly what you see when the parent does leave with her child a few minutes later, as the man, who hasn’t spoken a single word since entering the room, comes up to you gingerly. 
“Noona, thank you so much. I was so- so scared.” You smile at him as warmly as you can, “Please don’t be. It wasn’t your fault at all that some parents can misunderstand even the best intentions of teachers. It’s pretty common- as time goes on, people will just find more flaws, whether it be in your teaching skills or your child-handling skills. You just need to be less nervous when things like this happen. If you ever need help in these things, of course I’m always here… as are your other seniors. But it’s best if you learn to handle these things without taking them too much to your heart, unless you see there is genuine room for improvement for you.” He nods throughout, and his eyes have become round like a puppy’s eyes again. “I will introspect, Noona.” He laughs a bit, “This honestly isn’t the first time someone’s misunderstanding my intentions. But I will try harder to be more clear and not … not be presumptuous,” he says, looking deep into your eyes, before he bows and leaves the room.
As you stand there in the classroom, alone you realise that the situation oddly reminds you of a similar conversation you had with him at the beginning of the semester. When you’d asked him to keep his distance and not interfere … all while, he was just trying to be kind. Oh god. You’d been just as rude as the parent had been today, hadn’t you? Oh dear god. No wonder he’d looked so downcast and rejected after that.
_
Sohee’s thousand-day anniversary at the school is coming up so Minseo’s put on a surprise party at her house. It’s not a surprise to just Sohee, but also to you. “Oh, why didn’t you let me know earlier, Minseo-yah?” “We would, but you’ve just been so busy with the end of term reports and grades that we didn’t want to bother you.” “Well, that’s not something only I’m doing. I’m sure you all were busy too.” “But none of us are head of departments, you know?” She giggles, and you know it’s not a jibe. But it still feels bad to not be able to contribute when everyone is contributing in some way or the other. 
So you order a six-pound blueberry cheesecake for the party, knowing blueberry to be Sohee’s favourite flavour. And, as expected, it’s a party hit. It turns out to be the favourite flavour of a lot of people, even Seokmin, who helps himself to three slices, and you’re just glad to see them all enjoying it. There’s drinks, pizza and music playing in the background. And although the teacher community at Sebong Elementary School is not too big, you’re a lot of twenty-six people, and you’re thankful that Minseo comes from a rich family that has a big house. And yet, it feels cosy and familiar. You barely attend parties or social gatherings,  and unless it’s family occasions, having been out of the dating scene for years. But this type of party seems fun to you- perhaps it’s you growing old, perhaps it’s you no longer finding staying up late exciting, perhaps it’s you realising that getting wasted is not as interesting as you used to think it was in college. So you settle for being the woman who’s dressed in a sweater although it’s barely autumn, already mentally classified as a spinster for almost everyone you meet, thirty and with no life outside of work, and you’re happy. You’re happy right now, sipping a cocktail and eating the fried chicken Minseo’s airfrying and constantly supplying to the party, celebrating your closest friend, Sohee. You know that although Sohee’s a couple of months younger than you, and definitely has a more active love life, she’s just like you at heart, and she’s the sister you’ve never had. As she gets drunk (you can tell it’s the first time in a long time by the way she’s getting tipsy even faster than she usually does), she leans over to smooch you loudly on the cheek, and you laugh and give in to her. It creates a loud wave of cheers across the room, but it’s such a warm moment. She clinks her glass with yours and rests her head on your shoulder, while raising a toast to the teachers at Sebong Elementary School. There’s another round of cheers, and then your phone reminds you it’s ten pm, and you should be heading home because it’s a school day tomorrow. The buzz feels good, and you want to stay longer, but you’re not drunk enough to forget your responsibilities. And so the party gradually disperses. You hug Minseo and thank her for organising the wonderful party, and somehow Sohee manages to stand up on her feet steadily. Seungkwan takes the duty to drop Sohee home as he lives near her house, and before you can say anything, Seokmin takes on the responsibility of dropping you home. 
“I don’t want to impose-” “But I insist, Y/N Noona.” “Why do you always insist, Seokmin? I feel like I’m a burdensome sunbae, not a nice sunbae.” You try not to pout when he leads you to where his car is parked and opens the door for you. He giggles, his face red with the dopamine (and drinks) from the party. “You’re just fishing for compliments, Noona. You know I never think of taking care of you as a burden.” 
Perhaps drinking that third cocktail was a mistake. 
But you did drink it, so you lean over the centre console of the car and say, with a soft giggle, “If you say things like that, Seokmin-ah, people are going to misunderstand and think you like like me.”
“But I do like like you, Noona.” 
You almost miss his words while waving goodbye to the other teachers standing on the pavement in front of Minseo’s house, waiting for their rides. 
Almost. 
“What?” You spin your head so fast it gives you whiplash, and you feel like you’re instantly sober, the way you become alert instantly. Seokmin’s looking at the road as he drives into the main road, his eyes bright by reflecting the street lights. “I do, Noona.”
“No- no, you can’t. Are you serious, Seokmin-ah? Because if you are, you can’t.” 
“Why?” 
There’s a red light, and he’s looking at you, the street lights shining on his face and the gentle handsomeness of his features are glowing in their full glory. This isn’t the first time you’ve found him awe-strikingly beautiful, but right now, he looks positively angelic. His eyelashes form delicate shadows on his cheeks, and the way his hair gets swayed by the wind coming in from the open car windows makes him seem even prettier. 
“Because… you’re so… young. And fresh, and beautiful. And I’m thirty, I spend my days working and my nights reading romantic classics, and I’m so boring a-and you deserve better.”
His mouth twists bitterly, and he says, “But none of that is true, Noona.”
“It is, Seokmin-ah. You barely know me.”
“But I want to. I’m just asking for a chance.”
You stay silent for a long time. In the sparse traffic of the night, you’re reach your house quicker than you’d thought. 
“I don’t want you to make a mistake, Seokmin-ah. I shouldn’t be someone you like more than simply as a sunbae.”
He pauses, then replies, “If you don’t want to give me a chance, that’s okay Noona. I can make peace with it. But you can’t ask me to stop liking you, Noona. My feelings are mine.” 
You don’t say anything on the rest of the journey. You don’t have anything else to say. You can’t even be harsh to him because what he’s saying is logical. You cannot take away his right to like you, even if you don’t think it’s the right choice for him. You’re an adult, he’s an adult, you both have your own opinions and choices. 
It’s only when the car does reach your house that you attempt to say something. 
“I feel sorry for making you come all the way to my house to drop me. Do you want to come in to eat something? I had some dakgalbi made for tonight’s dinner before I got to know about the party.”
He looks at you for a long time. You can see the wheels turn in his head, before he says, “Okay.” 
_
Your flat is on the third floor, so you’re patiently climbing the stairs. Seokmin makes light conversation, breaking the ice, and you actively try to respond. You don’t want him to feel dejected, but you also don’t want to feel like you’re taking him to your house because you pity him after you outright rejected him. 
Your efforts go to waste when you see a figure sitting on the floor in front of the door to your apartment. 
“Hyungwon?” 
Seokmin pauses behind you, as you stand stunned on the last staircase before the landing, and the man you addressed looks up at the two of you. Even in the dim light of the single bulb lighting up the stairwell, you can see that he’s very wasted. “Y/N-ah! I- I’ve been waiting for you.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you haven’t changed, have you? Straight to the point. No hellos, no-”
“Yes, Hyungwon. What are you doing here?”
He sighs as he stands up. “I missed you.” 
Your head starts to spin. It’s like you’ve been transported back to 2022, when Hyungwon had confessed to you that he’d gambled away all your money, and that he’d been doing so for the last seven months, and that was where he was spending all his evenings at instead of the evening college you’d enrolled him into and whose fees you thought you’d been paying.
Your head spins again, and you’re stumbling back until someone catches you midway before you tumble down the stairs. 
“Noona!” that someone whispers in alarm in your ear, and you realise it’s Seokmin. 
Fuck. 
Fuck, fuck, fuck, not Seokmin. 
Why does Seokmin, out of all people, have to see this?
“Seokmin-ah, leave-”
“Ooh, who’s that?” Hyungwon takes a step closer, and takes a drink out of a soju bottle he’s holding in his left hand. “Boyfriend? You’re still into pretty boys, aren’t you?”
Seokmin pulls you closer to him, your back nearly touching his chest. “Who are you?”
“I’m Hyungwon, Y/N’s first love. You better get out of here, kid.”
“What do you want, Hyungwon? Don’t bullshit with me about missing me. No apology, no regrets, and now you’re suddenly at my doorstep?” You carefully break away from Seokmin’s gentle clasp, and walk towards your ex-boyfriend. “You want my money again.” The lanky man in front of you grins, that fucking lazy, pretty grin you’d fallen so hard for in college. 
“Y/N, where’s the love gone, jagi? Why are we talking about money?”
“Fuck off, Hyungwon. The love was gone long before I even broke up with you.”
He lifts his free hand and tries to reach out to you. “Jagiya-”
“I’m not your jagiya! Hyungwon, I’m not giving you anymore money, so you should just leave! And stop coming to me every time you want money, for god’s sake! We’re done, Hyungwon.” 
The man in front of you falls to his knees, “Please, I’m begging you, Y/N-ah! I’ll get into serious trouble if I don’t repay this debt by the end of this month! Y/N, for the sake of old times-”
“Hyungwon, please don’t! I’m not giving you any of my money, no matter how much you beg.”
His hand wraps around your leg, “Y/N-ah, please, just hear me out once! I am sorry for everything I did, and I’m so willing to amend my ways-”
“Please leave, Hyungwon-ssi, you’re making Noona uncomfortable.” Seokmin suddenly says from behind you, and you walk backward down the stairs until you’re again close enough to him that you can feel his body heat on your back. It makes you feel oddly safe.
“Who are you to say anything about Y/N, huh? You don’t even know her for long, I bet! Y/N and I dated for seven years!”
“It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known her, Hyungwon-ssi. What matters is that right now, she feels safe with me, and not around you. So please leave, Hyungwon-ssi.” You don’t even realise when his hands have come to wrap gently around you, not quite touching your body, but caging you away from the man who’s looking at you both with frantic and desperate eyes. You don’t know he knows that you’re feeling safe around him, but you’re so grateful. “If you don’t leave now, I’ll have to call the police, Hyungwon-ssi.”
The man in front of you gulps. “Fuck! I’ll be back, Y/N-ah. And then I’ll see where this boyfriend of yours will be!” And he storms down the stairs, cursing under his breath, and you’re still shaking in Seokmin’s grip. 
Five minutes pass before he asks you, gently whispering in your ear, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” You slowly turn around and face him. You’re awfully close to him, and as you stand on the higher staircase, you’re eye-to-eye with him. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Seokmin-ah.”
“No, Noona. I’m just upset thinking of what would happen if I hadn’t come up with you here tonight.”
“No, don’t be. He’s… harmless. He’s all talk and no action.”
“Has he been here before?”
You bite your lip. You don’t want to tell him things which will involve him deeper into this. He doesn’t know anything, he’s a complete stranger to it all, and yet, he is right, you do feel safe around him. But that doesn’t mean you burden him any further.
“Seokmin-ah, I don’t want you to get worried about this. I can take care of myself, it’s just Hyungwon. Like I said, he’s only bark and no bite.”
“Noona-”
“I’ll be fine, honestly! I’m sorry you had to see all this happen.” 
He opens his mouth to say something, but then he becomes silent again. 
“Do you want to come in-”
“No, Noona. I’ll just leave. I won’t take any more of your time. Have a good night, Noona.”
“Seokmin-ah, pl-”
“Goodnight, Noona. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And then he walks away, and you’re left there, unarmed, uneasy and all alone, swimming in your own thoughts. You feel like you should run after him like in the movies, and stop him from leaving, but your legs feel like lead. There’s a sinking feeling in your heart and a sense of emergency, and it’s not because your ex-boyfriend came up to your door asking for money to waste again.
_
You don’t go to school the next day. The day after that is a Saturday, thankfully a holiday, and you can spend a day moping in regret, stuffing popcorn into your face and pretending like you’re not an adult anymore and you can live without worrying about responsibilities and keep time standing still. 
It doesn’t work. 
Sohee arrives to your door on Sunday morning, arm full of groceries to make tteokbokki and sunglasses perched on her head. “Where have you been, sweetie?” She doesn’t wait for you to respond and shoves herself into your flat. 
“Nowhere, Sohee.”
“You’re pouting, your bed isn’t made, and I can smell caramel popcorn. Something’s up. Tell me, baby.”
She sits down on the couch, pulling you down next to her, and taps twice on your shoulder prompting you to spill. So you do spill. 
You tell her every thought that has crossed your mind these last 48 hours. How Seokmin confessed that he likes you. How you’d turned him down instantly. How Hyungwon had turned up at your door and ruined the night after the party. How you’d practically shooed Seokmin away although he’d been nothing but protective and helpful to you. How you’d wallowed in regrets since then, having realised that you’re such a coward. 
“Yeah, you are a coward. In what right mind would you turn down Seokmin when you’re so down bad for him?”
“Huh?”
“Dummy. You can’t even realise your own feelings, and you act like you’re so mature. Age is truly just a number,” she sighs before digging into your bowl of popcorn. 
“I don’t… I don’t have feelings for Seokmin.”
“What makes you think so?”
“He’s… he’s just a hoobae.”
“So are Chan and Soonyoung and Seungkwan. Why do you always blush when you talk to Seokmin, even if it’s over something as mundane as lunch? Why do you so often go to his classroom and aid him in his lessons during your free periods, even though he doesn’t necessarily ask for it? Why do you talk more to him than to your other hoobaes?”
You stay silent for a second. 
“Y/N-ah, think carefully about this.”
“I shouldn’t think of him in this light… he’s so much younger.”
“You’re just three years older than him, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re so old!”
“But…”
“Oh fuck, this isn’t about age, is it? You feel like you’re going to be to him what Hyungwon became to you? Predatory?”
You’re left silent again. Sohee understands from your (lack of) actions, and jumps across the couch to hug you. “Oh, Y/N-ah. Stop beating yourself up for that. It’s been so, so long. Stop blaming yourself for something that’s not even your fault.” 
“But Seokmin deserves better, don’t you think?”
“And you deserve better than beating yourself over an ex like Hyungwon. You deserve a second chance at love too, baby.” She hugs you tightly, and you don’t know when tears have started rolling down your cheek.“I’m a coward, Sohee. I can’t get the courage to even accept my feelings.” “Then let Seokmin help you. Honestly, with the way he always looks at you like you spin his earth and you’re his god, I don’t think he’ll have any issues waiting for you to realise your feelings.” You blush and hide your face in her neck at her sly words. She’s too outspoken for her own good. 
“What if it’s just a crush for him, that’ll pass soon? There’s not much about me that will keep him interested in me after a few months.”
“You’ve got to stop being so pessimistic. Again, just because one guy was stupid and decided to rip off your hard-earned money and your blind trust in him, doesn’t mean another guy will! I’ll say it again, you deserve a second chance!”
The doorbell rings right then. You get up to open the door, to find a letter on the doormat. 
“It’s from the local police station.” You pick it up and show Sohee, who’s equally confounded as you are. “Well, open it, girl!” 
It’s a letter stating a level one restraining order has been requested for your protection against Chae Hyungwon, who has repeatedly disturbed you while drunk, and demanded money for illegal gambling purposes. 
And the request has been made from Lee Seokmin.
“So you just have to sign it and that’s it? Hyungwon out from your life forever?”
You nod, unable to reply, you’re still shocked by the letter. So is Sohee, it seems. Because all she can manage is, “Wow. Y/N, you’ve gotta marry him.”
“Who?!”
“Seokmin, of course. If this is his level of devotion-”
“You don’t think this was unnecessary?”
“Y/N, are you for real? He’s literally looking out for you and doing what you should’ve done ages back, and you think he’s overstepping boundaries? He’s one gem of a person seeing that he’s doing all this without even you prompting him and even after you literally rejected his confession.”
You take a deep breath. She’s right. She’s so right that your heart hurts and you want to bend down on your knees because your body feels limp. How much more does Seokmin have to give you for you to be able to start giving back to him? One voice in your head chastises you. Love isn’t quid pro quo! You fight back. Fair. But at least you’ve started admitting it is love. The voice laughs at you, leaving you vulnerable. 
“Well, he said yes.”
“What?” You spin your head to look at Sohee who’s holding your phone in her hand. 
“Seokmin. He said he’ll meet you at the park near school. In about an hour.”
“Did you just text him from my phone?”
“I did, for your own good. Because if it were up to you, you would have overthought yourself into a hole you’d dig for yourself and not made a move at all even when he’s literally played all his cards and proved his commitment.”
“Aishh, you’re so annoying,” you playfully shove her. 
“Your annoying friend just wants to see you happy,” she pouts cutely, and you laugh at the face she’s making. 
“Okay, now go get dressed. You have to finish this game now, Y/N. I’ll drop you to the park.”
_
When Sohee drops you a little far away from the park, kissing your forehead and wishing you fighting!, you find Seokmin already sitting on a bench on a relatively empty side of the park. He looks up at you as you get closer, and you wave at him. You feel so timid, so nervous, just walking up to him, his handsomeness hitting you with full force as you see him in more casual clothes than ever before, knowing that this man, this beautiful man likes you. And he wants you, and he’s proved how far he can go to care for you, even when you’ve rejected his care.
“Noona, how are you? We were worried after you called your day off on Friday.”
“I’m sorry… I wasn’t sick or anything.” You laugh awkwardly. “Just, taking some time to ponder over things myself.”
“Oh.” He sits down on the bench, the loose end of his checked shirt gently swaying in the breeze. 
“And I regret how I acted that night. I’m sorry for being so harsh-” he starts to say something, but you gently put a finger on his hand, and that makes him shush. “I’m not just talking about Thursday night. I’ve been harsh to you ever since the beginning of the year. You’ve been nothing but kind and generous to me. But… time has made me unnaturally wary and I find it so hard to accept attention or even kindness easily. Thus, time and again I’ve pushed you away, yet you’ve kept coming back. It’s true that I didn’t realise your intentions earlier, but I know, deep down in my heart, that I’ve liked you too for quite some time.”
His eyes are wide, and you move an inch closer to him on the bench.
“I thought it was silly, to have a crush on a man so obviously young like you. I’m thirty now, turning thirty-one in a few weeks. I’ll always be older than you, less energetic, more boring and to be honest, I think it’s not even age but just experience which has made me like this. And I denied myself your attention because I thought you deserved better. And I still do. You sent a restraining request to the police on my ex-boyfriend on my behalf. You… you’ve gone out of your way so many times, even when I’ve been so harsh with you. You’re the one who’s precious, you’re made out of stardust. I’m just a broccoli that’s stacked in the corner of the fridge because no one wanted to eat me when I was fresh and no one should eat me now because now I’m stale.”
“That’s a ridiculous comparison. Even Soonyoung comparing himself to a tiger is better than you comparing yourself to a tiger.” He finally says, and you laugh before you realise it. 
“Stop calling yourself old, Noona. Three years of an age difference isn’t a big deal. If the reason you’re holding yourself back is Hyungwon-ssi…”
“It is, I won’t lie. Hyungwon and I started dating when we were in college. We were so good, for so long. Until the pandemic came and took his job. That’s when he started getting into these bad habits. He took to gambling, and to stop him, I enrolled him into an evening college, hoping he’d get more productive and use the time we were stuck at home to get himself more educated and get a better job soon. It turned out he was wasting all my money on gambling, again. Every fees I’d paid to him had actually gone down the drain at a local club. And he even had the audacity to refuse me when I told him I want to break up with him.”
“Well, but he eventually did. That didn’t stop him from coming to my doorstep ever three or four months, asking for cash. Sometimes I’d drive him away, sometimes I’d give in if I was too tired to argue with him and if he was sober and dangerous.”
“Would you have given him money that night… had I not been there?”
You look down at your hands in shame. “I may have. I don’t know.”
“Do you still have feelings for him, Noona? It’s okay if you do have feelings, you know.”
“God, no. I don’t have feelings for him. It’s just that… we were together for seven years. We’ve grown up together. Seeing him in a pitiful state like that makes me sad. And I hope each time, that this will be the last time he’s at my door asking for money.” You look away, too ashamed to look at Seokmin. But he uses a hand to gently grip your chin and turn your head towards him. 
“You’re too kind for your own good, Noona.” You blush at the proximity, and the gentle way he’s touching your face. “This is why I like you. Because you’re so human in a world where everyone is plastic. I don’t like you because you’re a sunbae I want to impress. I don’t like you because boys like me find older women hot. Well, I do find you hot-”
“Seokmin!” You haven’t heard someone call you hot in so long, and it makes your skin burn. 
He giggles, and slowly flattens his palm to cup your cheek. 
“I think the restraining order should do the trick, then. He’ll not harass you any longer.”
“Thank you. You’ve been brave when I’ve been a coward.”
“That’s what makes us a good team, Noona.” 
You finally make eye contact with him, gazing into his doe-like brown eyes which are crinkled at the edges with a hint of a smile and wide with hope. 
“Your eyes are so pretty, Seokmin-ah. Just like the rest of you. Especially your heart.”
“It’s pretty because it belongs to you, Noona.”
You blush harder, and turn your face away from him. “I’ll not like you any more if you’re cheesy like this.”
“But it feels good to make you blush like this. How dare you compare yourself to a broccoli, huh? You have no idea what you do to me- when you enter any room, you light it up with your aura, you make it so much warmer, so much brighter. And then a fucking broccoli?”
“Stop! I didn’t mean it to be so deep. It’s just what I ate for lunch because that’s all I had in my fridge.” He giggles again, and you giggle along with him. You realise you’ve both moved closer to each other on the bench, until your thighs are touching. 
“Then you’ve got to have lunch again. No one should exist by eating just broccoli.” 
“With you?”
“If you’d like that.” He cups your other cheek with another hand, and you can feel your skin on fire. His eyes are gently inching towards your lips so you slowly close your eyes. “If you’re going to kiss me, know that I don’t have much experience in that. I’ll be your hoobae in that regard, sunbae.” You hear a soft giggle, and the kiss doesn’t arrive, so you open your eyes again, just to see him blush all over. “God, you’re so pretty, Noona. I could look at you all day.”
“How about you tell me when you started liking me?”
“Umm, I think that time you came to eat lunch with us for the first time? I think it all started with me just trying to get you to eat meals on time. Good girls don’t skip meals, as I heard someone once say,” you playfully hit his chest lightly, and he laughs. “I don’t know, maybe it was before that. But that afternoon, I realised my crush on you was so serious. I was getting tingly all over every time our shoulders touched.”
“Oh! Well, thank goodness it wasn’t just me.”
“Really? From so long ago? Oh, Noona, if you’d just told me earlier…”
“Shh!” You giggle, “I didn’t even realise anything. I was just desperate to get you to forgive me.”
“But I was never angry at you. I could never be.”
You smile again, and he pulls you closer until your entire body is touching him. “So are you giving me a chance, Noona?” 
“Yes. I like you, Lee Seokmin, and I’m still shocked that you like me, after everything you’ve had to see.”
“Well, I do. I like you so much that I might be seeing stars over your head every time you come into my line of sight.”
You giggle again, your insides turning to mush. “Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N Noona?” His voice is, oh, so soft, like a melody. And his eyes so earnest, like an autumn leaf. “I’d be very honoured to, Seokmin-ah.” “May I kiss you?” You feel yourself getting red with anticipation as you quietly nod your consent. 
And so he kisses you. Like your very own Prince Charming, he kisses you, one hand on the back of your neck, and the other cupping onto your cheek, first gentle and slow, and then a little more passionate, as you pull him closer by holding on to his slender waist. “Fuck, Noona. You taste so sweet,” he says while taking a breath, and then attacks your face all over by placing tiny pecks all over your nose, cheeks and forehead. “I like you so much, I think I might die from it.” You laugh once again at his words, unable to say anything else because he’s effectively shut you up through his incessant kisses. When he finally moves his face away from yours, his 1000 watt signature smile bright on his face, you say to him, “Not before we have lunch together, though.”
a/n: read the stories of the other three boys here! lmk your thoughts <3
tagging: kokoiinuts
182 notes · View notes
mikassaviola · 2 days
Text
Best Friends Brother|MYG
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Description: Your best friend's older sexy brother. The older one. Smart. Intelligent. The one who advises you about life ever since you were a kid.
Warnings: age gap, reader is 20, Yoongi is 27, Soft Dom Yoongi, Mentions of insecurity indirectly, Unprotected sex, slight fingering, appreciation, nipple sucking, after shower after care, cute stuff?
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You and your best friend Mina were now eating pizza and sharing reels to one another, meeting after a long time and having big plans.
But this is what you were actually doing.
Nothing.
But it was comfortable.
Mina's phone ringing interrupted you as you looked at her lazily picking up the phone and putting it to her ear.
Just like Yoongi, you thought.
You shook your head, it had been too long since you met him. He's probably busy with some music projects in Seoul.
Meanwhile you and Mina went to different colleges and met up like this after a long long time, fixing your schedules when free.
"Oh you're here? Sure sure, yeah", You heard her say, as you curiously eyes her. She was getting up after cutting the call.
"It's Jungkook, you know the guy who was three years our senior?", Mina said and you nodded still confused as to where this conversation was going.
"Yeah, the jock guy", You replied casually.
"Well I've been going out with him for a while, and he's outside.. I'll be back by the night?", She asked but didn't really ask as she was already putting on her socks after jeans.
"I didn't even know how long you've been dating? Is he good? Seemed like a Playboy back in the day", You asked completely not expecting that. She hasn't told you she's been dating for a while?
"Three months, will see you. I'll probably be late cover for me yeah?", She said leaving you alone in her house.
You were supposed to catch up, watch a scary movie at night, do your face mask and stuff. Just you and her.
But in these two years ever since you joined colleges you've been drifting apart, it's no secret.
She can feel it, you can too. Always inseparable during school, best of friends and all that shit just going into trash as soon as you joined.
Your personalities were really different and in the back of your mind you already saw this coming.
The bell rang making you frown, no one was supposed to be here.
Her parents have gone out for the weekend hence your plan of staying, her brother's in Seoul and she possibly can't be back so soon.
She clearly stated that she'd be back by night.
You walked to the door, your over thinking ass wondering if it's a serial killer as you opened the door.
It was quite the opposite. It was Yoongi. With a big ass suitcase. Dresses in dark blue jeans and a yellow T-shirt.
He looked handsome.
"Hi, uhm long time", You mumbled stepping aside giving him a way in.
He was also surprised to see you, hoping for his mom to answer the door.
"Yeah, how you doing?", He asked walking to his room casually as multiple questions popped inside your head.
Why is he here? Is he staying? Did something happen at work? Is he good?
He looked like he lost a lot of weight. He walked back inside probably after keeping the suitcase as you filled a glass of water for him to take.
"Thanks uh, so where's everyone else? Didn't expect you here", He asked drinking his water in one go as you leaned on the counter across him just like he was.
"Your parents are out for the weekend, and I was uhm with Mina, she uhm... She's out buying some snacks for us, I was supposed to stay in your room since Mina snores", You said as he gazed at you nodding at your words.
"Yeah, I didn't really tell anyone so..", He said shrugging at the end and you nodded taking in his words.
"Why don't we sit down?", You walked to his room because Mina's was really quite messy, not like he would mind she was his sister but you just thought it'd be better.
Less messy and probably more comfortable for him, he's back after like an year? Or even longer.
After you were settled down on his bed and him beside you leaning at the headboard you asked.
"Is it fine at your work?", You said looking at him. He was just looking up. He looked pretty, his cheeky cheeks and pretty feline eyes.
You missed this. Sitting like this and talking about life with him.
"It is yeah, although it was getting too much, felt like I wasn't getting a break. So another producer offered me to take off for like a month or two", He explained smiling slightly making you smile.
"Sounds good Yoongi, you got good colleagues", You said following his gaze and staring at the ceiling. Many star stickers pasted on the ceiling.
Back when Yoongi and Mina shared a room and Mina wanted a starry ceiling, her room was their store back then. Then she turned 8 and got her personal room.
"I do, what about you? How's it going at college?", He asked the question you dreaded. You didn't know whether to ramble to him how shitty everything is, the last was two years back.
When you were 18 and were about to start college.
But now things are different. Yoongi has always been smart but he looked even more mature, having work experience too now.
"It's fine", You said but Yoongi could tell it wasn't.
You were different. Introvert. Never opened up to anyone really. He didn't like that you weren't even telling him things like you used to. But then again he was the one who was focused on work never taking a break. Less calls. Less texts.
"Mhm, made many friends?", He asked and you looked at him to find him already looking at you.
"Not really but I'm fine", You shrugged.
"You miss Mina?", He asked.
"Of course I wish she was in my college would've made things easier but that's okay too", You said. You never said it out loud. Not to Mina because every time she talked about her college. She was always doing so good.
"Mina would've come back by now", Yoongi mumbled checking the time and you sighed.
"Look, she's with a guy. Please don't tell your parents, will be back by night", You bit your lower lip waiting for him to react and he shrugged.
"Should've told me Y/N, she's an adult now. Although she shouldn't have left you alone", Yoongi said.
He noticed the pained expression that took over your face, scrunching his face and cocking his face to the side giving you the look.
You sighed. "We've just drifted apart I guess", You let out, rubbing your forehead slightly.
"Impossible, you were so close", Yoongi retorts totally shocked and you smiled slightly.
"We have, ever since college started, she made new friends, a boyfriend, she's having her own adventures that the boring me could never suggest", You chuckled slightly hurt. You thought she'd always choose you even though you can be really constant about your life.
"You literally made her jump roofs", Yoongi exclaimed and you immediately groaned at the memory of the 14 year old you.
"Not that adventure, the smoking, clubbing types. I've never been that kind of person Yoongi, you know it and she has always been an extrovert", You explained a little frustrated.
"Then she's choosing shit if that's what she wants, what about you", He asked.
"I have been the same, not many friends and all, I just miss Mina and I miss you", You said looking at him as he sighed.
"You're really awesome, just don't think you're boring or stuff because your adventure isn't Mina's cup of tea", Yoongi explained and you smiled. Always good with his words.
"You know I'm sometimes jealous of her, because she's so good at it. At communication. Like she's forgetting about me and here I'm stuck with her memories", You chuckled at the realisation that you were saying this to Yoongi.
"Mhm and?", Yoongi asks as you bite your lip. He surely knows you to the point that he understands when you want to say more but won't because you think he'd judge you.
"And, she's good with guys. Don't get me wrong, they come back. And the guy I dated. God he made me feel horrible. Like I wasn't a good fuck, had me scarred for life I guess", You let it out and laughed afterwards masking the hurt with it.
"And you believed him? Didn't even try anyone else? Maybe he was bad at it yanno?", Yoongi argued knows you too well to know you're hurt. Knows you're an overthinker.
"I couldn't try someone else", You said a force in your words, your eyes on him, his on yours, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Why?", He asked.
"Because, I-", You leaned over placing your lips on his.
He's been talking for too long, knows you're fucked. He looks so pretty doing nothing. You just can't help when he's so close to you after so long.
Fuck the besties code that you and Mina never talked about. About not being with each other's siblings.
Your hands settled around his neck as he started moving along your lips after a while. It got hot and wet after a while as you devoured each other.
Yoongi has always liked you, you were so different and adventurous and good at talks completely opposite of what you just told him.
And when you kissed him, for a second he thought he was simply imagining it but here you were gripping on his collar as his hands sneaked around your waist.
You pulled back out of breath.
"Because every time I'm with a guy, you're on my mind. Yoongi would've listened better, replied better", You said pecking his lips in between your words as he just stared at you baffled by your actions.
"Would've touched me better", You said placing yourself on his lap.
"Shit you gotta reply to me Yoongi", You said grinding on his crotch as Yoongi took your hands pushing you back and climbed over you.
"God do you have any idea what you're doing?", Yoongi said as your heart beat fastened inside your chest at the proximity. Your actions registering in your head as you got red and red. "Never took you the one to be so reckless", Yoongi pointed out his lips finding your neck making you gasp.
"Yoongi", You whined as he started un buttoning your t-shirt trailing kisses along it making your skin burn as he reached in between your breasts.
"Was so glad when I saw you open the door", He mumbled against your skin softly making you whine.
"Yoongi, I"- You gasped when he took your nipple in his mouth. You didn't wear a bra knowing only you and Mina would be at home.
"You're so pretty baby, Mina is just stupid", Yoongi says leaning back sitting up and removing his T-shirt.
You both half naked, your cheeks red, chest heaving up and down as Yoongi traced your tummy and grabbed your boobs making you hiss.
"So sensitive here", Yoongi cooed coming down to lick your nippled and suck on them as you pulled on his locks slightly making him groan.
Giving both of your nipples a good suck he trailed his kisses down, biting and nipping on your skin making you whine out.
"So loud, all for me bet that boy didn't worship this perfect body", Yoongi said toying with your waistband.
"Yoongi please I want you to touch me", You whined out as he pulled down your trousers along with your panties.
"I am touching you", He said and you whined making him laugh at you, his gums showing.
He spread your legs for his eyes to see, his laugh fading and his eyes darken when he looked at your cunt.
"You want me so bad, don't you? Look at you baby, so fucking messy, all for me", He said his right hand leaving your leg and coming down to your pussy pushing a finger inside.
"Fuck yes, Yoongi. All for you ", You mumbled your breath catching in your throat and he pumped his finger in and out making you moan.
"I know", Yoongi murmured pulling down his jeans along with his boxers and holy fuck. You've never seen anything so big, not in porn, never in real life.
He was big and thick and perfectly long.
"Yoongi you're so beautiful", You moaned out feeling the need for him to be inside. "Please put it inside me", You said seeing slight pre cum leak out at your words.
"You have no idea what you're playing with, you want me so bad yeah?", Yoongi said pressing the head of his cock to your clit rubbing it up and down.
"I'll cry if you don't", You said out of frustration, not thinking before you spike making Yoongi grin.
"Would love to see that, will see that someday", He said pushing his full length inch by inch inside you as you opened your mouth and closed your eyes. Taking him in.
"Shit Yoongi, you're so so so big", You said out of breath and Yoongi leaned down pressing his lips to yours.
You could feel his veins rub against your pussy walls as he shifted slightly making you wince.
"So tight, so fucking tight. My fucking pussy", Yoongi rambled and gave you a long, slow but powerful thrust making you gasp.
"Yes, yes yours. God feels so heavenly", You said as he started thrusting in and out.
His dick filling you so well, reaching deeper with every thrust.
His hands holding yours above your head as he thrusted inside your pussy repeatedly and harshly.
"Yes yes yes yes Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi", You chanted like a mantra making him groan.
"Whoever said this is bad can fuck themselves, this is the best. Made for me. Mine", Yoongi growled sitting on his heels pulling you towards him holding your legs up as he thrusted inside you violently.
"Holy fuck, fuck, yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoongi. Yoon- ah fuck - gi", You moaned feeling the knot in your stomach tighten.
"Fuck yes, tell everyone who's making you feel good. Who do you belong to baby? My pretty baby", Yoongi moaned his thrust getting sloppier and faster.
"You Yoongi", You cried out. "I am gonna"-
"Me too", Yoongi growled.
"Inside, Fill me, I'm on pill", You moaned feeling your orgasm wash over you and feeling overstimulated as he thrusted and thrusted until he came inside you with a groan.
Leaning his body over yours, sweat beads coating his forehead as he kissed you sweetly.
"You are so beautiful", Yoongi said, his voice deep and soft as you smiled.
"You are such a talker when you fuck", You said as he pressed his forehead to yours as you both laughed.
"You make me say things", Yoongi replied, both of you tired but had the biggest smiles on your faces.
"I love your smile, always have ever since we were kids", You mumbled taking his face in your hands and tracing your fingers over his gums.
"Ahan, is that so?", Yoongi asked and you giggled.
"Mhm, let's take a shower?", You asked making Yoongi get up as you both took a shower together. Bathing each other and talking.
"It's not a one time thing, don't overthink", Yoongi murmured drying your hair with a hair dryer.
"I know Yoongi, I'm looking forward to us", You said smiling at him wearing his t-shirt and shorts as he smiled back.
You both laying in your bed, your head on his chest, your arms up in the air as you measured your hands silently.
"You're so small", Yoongi exclaimed and you huffed.
"I'm taller than Mina", You said nuzzling your face in his neck bringing your hand down to wrap around hin.
"Never took you as the cuddly one, can live like this forever", Yoongi said making you smile.
"I know you're tired and want to sleep though, sleepy baby", You said.
"Baby? I'm like 7 years older?", Yoongi mocked and you both laughed. Glad that his age was not a matter of concern but something you were joking about and you hope it stays the same.
"okay baby", You teased, your laughs never fading as you both slept in each other's embrace.
A/N: you can lmk about my errors yk I'm like really new to this😭
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 days
Note
imagine crocheting a tail warmer/sleeve for Dan Heng for when it gets colder on the Express + a matching hat with horn holes in it
(i am so insane about IL, been a player since day 1 and when leaks of him came out, i started skipping everyone and got him and his lightcone.)
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The ending to this was rough bc idk what to put lol
(I cried when he came home as I’m someone who tries to not put money into gacha games and try and get the characters I want by earning the gems however I can. I thought I wasn’t going to get him but thank god I did.)
It was almost impossible not to notice the change in Dan Heng the moment the express grew a little colder, he wore more layers then usual and would stand in close proximity to anything that produced heat.
He stood shoulder to shoulder with you once and would let out small noises of discomfort when you did so much as shuffle an inch away from him, even going so far as to use his tail to latch onto your waist as to keep you in place, only to soon let go of you once he had realised what he had done out of embarrassment that he had done something impulsive.
It wasn’t hard to deduce that Dan Heng was more susceptible to the cold due to his Vidyadhara traits. You had heard tales of old that said that the vidyadhara people hated cold climates, and it was safe to say that the legend was proven true when you heard him tell March that since his horns were just as sensitive as his tail, and that the cold made him feel as though he was experiencing an never ending brain freeze.
Driven by a want to help him, you spent most of the day and some of the night crocheting him a tail warmer and a hat that you work to keep his horns protected from the biting cold. It took you a couple of tries and a series of pricking your fingers with the needle to get right, but in the end it was made worth it when you set off from your room and journeyed to Dan Heng’s, feelings of both worry and excitement for his reaction bubbling inside of you as you knocked on the door.
‘What’s this?’ Dan Heng asked shortly after opening the door, his eyes immediately clocking the knitted warmers in your hands, his interest peaking.
‘They’re warmers.’ You replied as though it were obvious, that and you loved to get a reaction out Dan Heng by stating the obvious.
‘I’m aware, I’m asking why you’ve brought them to me.’ Dan Heng said, sometimes you could be worse the march but he liked you enough to endure sure.
‘I overheard that you’ve become more susceptible to colder temperatures, so I decided to make a warmer for your tail and a little hat to keep your horns warm and comfortable during these times until we can better understand how to manage it.’ You explained and held out the warmers for him to take as he wordlessly plucked them from your hands to admire the handiwork.
They were soft indeed and would provide good use for his tail and horns, however he wasn’t use to having someone do something for him without an exchange of sorts, but Dan Heng couldn’t help the small smile on his lips as he let out a little chuckle. ‘These are perfect, thank you, I shall put them to good use.’
You beamed brightly, happy that your hard work hadn’t gone to waste. ‘Really?! You like them? I thought that I might’ve made the tail warmer too small or the hat a little too big to properly fit against your horns and-‘
‘They’re fine.’ Dan Heng interrupted, hand on your bicep, still smiling. ‘I can’t thank you enough for going out of your way to make something for me.’
You shrugged, trying to act like his words of appreciation didn’t sent butterflies to your stomach. ‘I just didn’t want you to suffer from the cold, it’d be wrong of me to ignore your struggles,’ you trailed off before continuing, ‘you’ll let me know if it’s too small won’t you? If they are I can make another pair or-‘
‘I shall alert you if that is the case.’ Dan heng reassured you and it wasn’t until later that you did catch a glimpse of him in his warmers, and needless to say they fitted him just right.
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chatsukimi · 12 hours
Text
ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛ
featuring: jujutsusorcerer!nanami, curse!reader, angst, breaking up. synopsis: life is too short to hold yourself back. you force a certain uptight sorcerer to learn the hard way. masterlist
nanami likes to think he has no regrets. he tells the students that he'd never had a lover, not one that lasted very long anyway. he tells anyone who asked that he is too busy in his job to date.
too busy to date a normal person outside his job, he means.
in other words, nanami likes to forget he likes a curse.
you're sitting on his couch, folding his shirts fresh from the laundry. "kento-kun!"
nanami likes to think he turns away. likes to think he goes to the kitchen to prepare his dull blade to kill you, but, recently, he's learnt that he's a liar.
you tiptoe over, examining how he runs his knife under tap water to clean off the curse residue. you had reacted better than he thought you would when you learnt he exorcised curses, probably because you were a mediocre curse yourself, not involved in the grand scheme of things.
you peer curiously over his shoulder. "that's your weapon?"
he lifts it up purposefully close to show you, but instead of shrinking away, your hands attach to its sides, gracing the cloth gently.
"woah..."
he stills. when he begins chopping up the vegetables, you're right by his side, helping him cook with rapid skill.
"careful. don't add too much salt in," he says, an uneasy monotone gracing your ears.
he doesn't look at you.
you pause on the salt, staring at him. "is something wrong?"
a flashback zips through his head, of a dying colleague, of a growing curse. mostly holding himself back, nanami lets out a long exhale. he shakes his head.
"no. i'm alright."
the atmosphere is tense under your scrutiny, probably because, for you, he would taste better than any human dish might. truthfully speaking, you only eat his food out of politesse.
'liar,' you whisper into his ear, glaring at him with an infinite amount of human hurt. "don't lie to me."
you know as well as he does.
nanami likes to think his heart doesn't clench when you reach out to hold his hand, your skin that reminiscent of that terrifying rubber feel he's constantly associated with death. you pause when he flinches away.
"nanami?"
kill them. that's your job, it's what you must do. kill them.
he murmurs lowly, "i think it's time for you to leave."
you take a step back. he doesn't move. you wait for him to chase after you while receding from him, two steps at a time.
nanami likes to think he's a serious man. likes to think he knows what's right for him and others at the most important incidences. but strip away the guise of having it all together and he realises what's most human about him is slipping through between his fingers: you.
watching you, nanami cannot think.
he's stalking towards you towards the exit. you've turned your back on him. his heartbeat tremors.
"wait-"
your voice is empty when you respond- is this what he'll remember you by?
"what, nanami?"
would nanami force you to stay? he's always been selfish in keeping you at his place, treasuring the heartfelt words, midnight slow dances, pretending the outside world didn't exist. the world which draws a distinct line between humans and curses. good and evil. but now, now nanami has to choose.
"don't go." he croaks. pathetic.
you stand there, head lowered. "why? what even am i to you?"
curse or human?
the words taste bitter in his mouth, crawling to the tip of his tongue. speak! kento, what are you doing?! speak! and in the ideal world, he says them, right there, held in your molten gaze. those three words would have you rushing back into his arms, ready to start anew. it would read like a fairy-tale.
he would be happy.
yet earth is a hell that confines him. he cannot force himself to take another step forward. you cannot force yourself to take another step back.
this is what would've always happened.
in a split second decision, you put on your shoes.
"forget me, kento," you breathe. let's pretend this never happened. "i know you hate curses getting stronger."
you cross the threshold of his door. the fantasy dissipates.
when he opens the door again, nanami looks down the corridor of his apartment complex and sees no one.
not even the curse of regret.
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spotsandsocks · 2 days
Text
Fuck it Friday!
@tizniz @diazsdimples
As they say I did not mean for this to exist and yet here we are 1.3k later. Will put on ao3 later and tag everyone later- in my lunch and running out of time. And I need to set this free so I can know peace.
I got in my Eddie feels - aren’t we all right now, had thought and now… have some pain with a hopeful ending. I’m still sold in eddie being so deep in comphet he has no idea what to do. This is the push he needs. Demi Eddie for the win. No Eddie bashing here! Chris loves his dad and wants to help.
When you walk into your living room and find you parents, your son and your best friend sitting there waiting for you, you know things are bad.
To be honest he should of expected something like this.
Eddie stands frozen, awaiting his fate as his dad speaks first.
“We need to talk son.”
At least that’s true Christopher has barely said a word to him since it happened. Not that he blames him.
“We’re worried about you.”
Buck goes next but those words aren’t new he’s already said that and again Eddie doesn’t blame his friend for his feelings. Like he said last time he’s worried about himself too. It’s hard to get his head around the recent choices he’s made harder to think about the consequences.
It almost like it wasn’t him making the decisions. It’s almost like he doesn’t know who he is anymore but then has he ever?
“I’m going to go to Texas”
The third sentence comes from Christopher and is possibly the worst thing he’s ever had to listen to and Eddie has had to hear heartbreaking words so many times.
“What?”
That’s his voice. the first thing he’s said but it’s a barely a whisper. Surely even with everything that’s happened Chris can’t mean that.
His son looks at him, calm and steady and repeats himself.
“I’m going to Texas with grandma and abuelo.”
Eddie turns to his parents all his hurt and betrayal rushing to the surface, he’d thought… he’d let them back in, trusted them
His voice is louder now, “How could you? Why? Why would you try and take him away from me again. I thought..”
Chris stops him in his tracks
“They didn’t ask me. I asked them.”
There’s no words available to respond to that.
“Dad?”
His heart hurts. His head too, everything hurts. He’s fucked up again. Again, again, again. The worst things he knows he deserved this, he caused this nightmare it’s his fault, his fault every time.
Chris’ voice sounds far away.
“It’s not ‘cos I’m mad.”
Eddie doesn’t even hear him. He’s found words and they sound desperate.
“I’ll come with you.”
If Chris wants to leave he’ll do it. No matter the cost. No matter what he leaves behind.
Then that sacrifice is taken from him too.
“No. I don’t want you to.”
He can’t breathe. He’s dizzy, he can’t think. What has he done?
He can’t hear them when they call him.
“Dad?”
“Eddie?”
“Son? Mijo?”
“Eddie?”
“Dad?!”
He turns from them all and he runs.
An unheard voice chases after him.
“I’ll go.”
*
Standing by his sink trying to breathe like he’s been taught when this happens to him he doesn’t need to know who followed him when the footsteps stop.
Buck. Always Buck.
“He’s not trying to punish you”
He can’t turn around. Can’t look, not yet.
“Feels like it”
Soft and concerned, that’s how he sounds. Buck sounds like that a lot recently.
“He’s not. He wouldn’t. He loves you.”
There’s nothing but bitterness in his own words.
“Does he? Maybe he shouldn’t.”
“Eddie!” There’s censure in that word, Buck obviously disagrees and disapproves of that sentiment.
“He loves you. He’s angry and he’s hurt but he still loves you. You can be upset with someone and still love them. I think you know that better than anyone.”
He does.
“Then why is he going.”
He wishes he didn’t sound as heartbroken as he feels. Wishes he could still manage to hide some of his heart from this man.
“Because you need him to.”
Spinning around he turns on his best friend to challenge the stupidity of those words.
“What? I need him here with me. He has to stay with me.”
“Eddie.” Buck’s face and voice hold nothing but aching sympathy. It’s like a knife cutting him open which isn’t fair he’s already got so many wounds.
Then it gets worse because a new voice enters the kitchen.
“Dad… you always tell me I need to be myself, that that’s good enough.”
Eddie stares at his son standing there, just behind Buck, so tall now, so much older than he is in Eddie’s heart.
“But I don’t think you do that. You should do that if you want me to.”
It’s all to much and even rubbing his face doesn’t stop him feeling tired and defeated.
“Chris what are you talking about?
Buck looks down at Chris who nods. There’s unspoken words flowing between them and it’s obvious they’ve been talking about him.
Chris says “Buck can tell you. He worked it out. And he’s right. I do love you.”
Then he walks away, leaving Eddie staring at his friend and waiting for answers.
“Eddie, its it’s like… well, you were a dad and a solider and a medic and a husband. All before you were 20. Man! That’s a lot!!”
Buck takes a step closer.
“Hell Eddie I was a kid at nineteen, a baby, I had no idea who I was what I wanted, and you had to be all that. And your dad told me you had to “be the man of the house” when you were even younger than that.
So who are you? How can you know?
You’ve been so many things for everyone else. You try so hard to be “normal” I see that and I I know you think you’re broken, but you’re not.
You just haven’t really met you yet. How could you, when did you have the time?
That’s why Chris is going away. Just for the summer. He wants you to have time to be you. Find out who Edmundo Diaz really is.”
Eddie listens stunned and horrified. Are they right? Is that all true. He’s terribly afraid it might be.
Buck smiles soft, eyes still worried.
“It’s ok to go look for him.”
His words get stuck for a moment but this is Buck. He can say this to him.
“What if I don’t like him when I find him? What if he’s … not normal?”
“What’s normal huh? And seems unlikely- I think I know the real Eddie Diaz a little bit at least and he’s pretty great. Always will be.”
Buck’s close enough to touch now. He really wishes he would. He’d like a hug.
“Eddie, your life gave you no room to look for what you truly want for yourself. You have to do that now or I’m scared what might happen to you. You need time and space..”
“I don't want to be alone.”
The words leave his lips scared and true and then he gets something he wants for himself for the first time in a long time as Buck folds him into a hug.
He gets to be held while Buck speaks quietly.
“You won’t be. You got me. You’ll always have me. You told me I could have you back any day, well it’s any day and here I am - I’m not going anywhere.”
It’s a lot to deal with, think about but maybe he can do it with help.
“Promise?”
Buck’s body shakes with a laugh
“Pinky promise and Maddie would kill me if I broke one of those.
“He’ll come back?”
Eddie lets himself be held and given comfort by the only person who could. Which is probably something else he needs to think about.
“Of course he will, this is his home, you’re his Dad.”
He can share his fears with this man, he knows that he has before and he does again now.
“I don’t know if I know how to be anything else.”
Buck’s arms tighten around him.
“I know, but you’ll work it out cos even if you’re not sure who Eddie Diaz is, I am and I know he can do anything.”
Buck sounds so sure, maybe he’s right, maybe with help and time he can work out who he really is and what he really wants and then once he knows that, maybe he can find it.
Buck keeps holding him, keeps believing in him and that he can do anything even find happiness.
Maybe he can and maybe he won’t have to look very far.
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morganski-19 · 2 days
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Chills Right to the Marrow Part 10
part 1, prev part
The next day, the Chief is back looking like a man on a mission. Catching Wayne’s eye while he’s on his way in, but interrupted when the Harrington kid steps in his path. Talking to him in hushed whispers, but tense as hell.
The chief sighs, cocking his head to the side and bringing the kid to talk outside. Wayne isn’t the person to eavesdrop, but after yesterday, after the endless questions with no answers, he is desperate for an explanation.
An explanation why his kid is stuck on a hospital bed while Steve is walking around like he has every right to. Like he isn’t part of the reason his boy was halfway to dead for the past week.
What made his boy protect a person that he seemed to hate? A person who’s had everything handed to him, never had to experience real hardships. Stood on the sidelines while his boy was mocked and taunted. Ostracized for being who he was. Molded into this villain.
Kings look down on villains, seeing them as threats to their status. Their reputation. And the Harrington’s are part of the rulers of this town. Funding the high school extracurriculars, the hospital, the candidates on the ballots. Money that, in the grand scheme of reality, Wayne couldn’t give a shit where it goes.
Until it comes between him, his kid, and their lives. Eddie could’ve died, and for what? So the rich can keep being that? So they can keep coming out on top.
Wayne understands why Eddie would throw himself into danger for Dustin. Hell, he probably would have done the same thing. But Steve Harrington. Wayne’s not so sure that’s the path he would choose.
Taking the last cigarette from the pack, Wayne positions himself near the corner of the hospital. Hearing the Chief and Harrington talking right around the bend. Taking a long drag, he tilts his ear up to listen.
Living in a trailer park made everyone a secret gossip. Wayne just never thought he was going to do it like this.
“What about Owens?” Steve’s not so hushed voice carries around the corner. “He seems to be the one to fix all your problems.”
Wayne can hear the annoyance in the Chief’s voice. “Either still in hiding or avoiding my calls. I’ve had to go through his partner for all of this.”
“We need to fix this, Hop, and fast. Eddie can’t be pinned for this shit.”
“I know.” The Chief takes a deep breath. “But the town needs a fall guy. I can’t take the cuffs off just yet.”
Steve hisses a breath. “He’s been getting better. Doesn’t have the ventilator anymore, could wake up any day now. He doesn’t deserve to wake up thinking the town still hates him for something he was a victim of.”
“Kid, I know but I can’t-.”
Steve cuts him off. “I saw how effected his was by all this, Hop. I saw how upset he was thinking the town thought he could do that to her. To all of them. All of them willing to pick up their pitchforks to hunt the freak. He was terrified.”
Wayne feels the anger start to simmer up again. Hearing this kid put words in his boy’s mouth. Saying that he knows everything.
Maybe he does. Maybe Wayne’s blowing this all out of proportion. But he can’t help it. He’s tired, his hope is running dry. One wrong move and he’ll snap. Harrington’s just an easy target.
“I hear you,” the Chief’s voice raises. “But I really can’t-.”
Steve cuts his off again. “Yes, you can and that is the whole problem.”
“No, I can’t.” The hushed screams turn to louder reprimands. “Until the Feds get what they want, I’m powerless here.”
“But if it was El, that would be a completely different story, wouldn’t it?”
Even though Wayne can’t see them, the silence is so thick not even the sharpest blade could cut through it. Steve pushed the wrong button.
“Don’t go there, Steve.” The quiet anger in the Chief’s voice is enough to make anyone step down.
Steve doesn’t. “I am going there.” Steve’s voice has almost reached a yell. Full of anger of his own. “You do everything when it’s affecting you, and the people you care about. But as soon as it’s someone else that might get the fall, you step back and say you can’t do a damn thing.”
“I can’t do a damn thing,” the Chief booms.
“Yes. You. Can,” Steve yells right back. “If it were El, or Joyce, or Will, hell even Mike there strapped to that table right now, the cuffs would have been off the second you came back. No matter what. You would have taken the fall of that. You would have taken the Fed’s anger about it. You would have fucking done something about it. Why not now?”
Before the Chief can even answer the question, Steve is walking away with a huff. Not even noticing Wayne as he walks right back to the parking lot and slams the door of his fancy car. Driving away faster than he should.
Wayne might be directing the anger that sits in his chest at the wrong person.
But all of that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Almost immediately as his sits back in the hospital room, ready for nothing to happen. Eddie opens his eyes.
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AITA for calling it off after two dates with kind of made-up reasons?
ok so I (20F) have never been on a date until a couple months ago. I was approached by this random guy (21M) at a train station and we started talking. I was wary at first bc I've never been approached like that and idk I just felt anxious but we got to talking on the train ride and had a nice time. We exchanged instagrams and messaged. I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed bc like I said this was my first romantic thing like pretty much ever but like he was really nice and everything so I kept going.
a couple days later he invited me out to lunch. He was very sweet, drove me, paid for my lunch, and even drove me back to my car (at a train station like 30 minutes away). I was kind of awkward the whole time bc this was all so unfamiliar, but he was nice about it.
He kept messaging me. I guess it was to be expected? but like idk I just felt so overwhelmed, like it felt like a lot. He invited me out on another date, but I got injured the day before and he was nice enough to change the plans and do something different with me. We went out, he brought flowers, drove me, etc etc. He really was sweet, I just didn't know what to do with myself.
Here came the dealbreaker for me: he started saying the n-word a few times even tho he's not black but like he was an exchange student so even though I felt uncomfortable I guess I kind of put it down to cultural differences and he just didn't know better and the history behind it all? But I was already on the fence about the whole thing because it was so overwhelming and then the n-word thing really just tipped the scale for me.
He had given me his hoodie towards the end of the date and then I forgot to give it back, so I was kind of stuck with it. He kept messaging me and tried to invite me out on another date, but I decided to break it off. He kept asking why and saying he was confused and "felt weird", and I told him I thought our value systems were different and that I wasn't in a good place for a relationship. I did that all over text. I felt so so guilty but like I didn't want to lead him on any more than I already had plus the n-word thing was a big red flag for me. I guess WITA for not telling him the real reason?
Also he had to get his hoodie back but I was too cowardly to give it in person so (to my shame) I left it on my porch and he got it back the next time he was in the area and I didn't see him in person.
I just feel guilty about it but I honestly was just so overwhelmed with it all and like it was only two dates and the only ones I'd ever been on so idk if that was like pretty standard or if I was really the a-hole here? Idk what the procedure is for these kinds of things so I really don't know if I was totally in the wrong here
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