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#like have her have this crisis of 'there's no one here who can fully understand me' and i thought that was what they'd do with the--

getvalentined · 2 months

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Thinking about Sephiroth's motivations in Rebirth and getting super emotional because fuck, man, I get it. I get it. It doesn't excuse anything, but I get it in a way I can't even describe.

The Gi establish that those who aren't native to Gaia can't join the Lifestream basically at all, they're held separate entirely; the Gi have never been in it directly, their ghosts wander in a little liminal space they crafted for themselves. This is because they're entirely foreign—the Gi appear to be interdimensional travelers that were somehow marooned on Gaia at some point in ancient history, where they died and were left as ghosts, lingering forever unable to move on.

Sephiroth is slightly different in that he was born on Gaia and he does have human parents as well as Jenova, so he can force his way into the Lifestream as we saw in Lifestream Black and Advent Children, but he can't disseminate into it. He's still conscious and cognizant in some capacity even as the Lifestream fights to strip away the parts of him that belong on the planet, the parts of him that were human. This is, presumably, why his memory is all fucked up postcanon, whether we're talking novels or spinoffs; the Lifestream has been trying to take him but it can't, because there's too much Jenova in him, so the parts of him that have survived are just the parts that are the son of Jenova. He hasn't been fully worn down by the time the Crisis rolls around, likely because his body is still partially intact in the Northern Crater. (Again, see Lifestream Black, as well as the OG.)

And here's where everything starts to hurt.

He's alone. No matter what Sephiroth does, he's entirely, completely alone. There is nothing in the world like him, the planet won't accept him—it's not death, it's a homecoming, and Sephiroth has nowhere to go home to.

And he's done this before, this is a repeating timeline, he's been through this before over and over and over. And he's always alone in the end. He's always there at the edge of creation, the end of all things, the kindling of a new universe, and he's still there. All alone.

So this time he's calling for the ultimate Reunion. He's not just calling his Clones home, he's pulling all of time and space together into a single planet, bolstered with the lingering Lifestream of hundreds, thousands of others, timelines where things fell apart and Gaia sat on the precipice of death before Sephiroth found her and tore the Lifestream loose to feed the timeline he's chosen as the most likely to survive.

Three friends go into battle. One is captured (Genesis, in Deepground), one flies away (Angeal, who chose his own death), and the one who remains becomes a hero.

Heroes save the world.

But it doesn't matter, does it? Because he's going to be alone. Zack asks how he could turn his back on everything, and he says "Easily." Aerith asks how he could possibly want an eternity alone—because she doesn't understand, that's what Sephiroth has waiting for him anyway. That's all he's ever had waiting for him.

Sephiroth is going to save a world that will never accept him, because that's what heroes do, and then he's going to be alone forever. But this time, for the first time in every timeline he's experienced, he's going to do it on his own terms. He knows what he is, he knows how this ends, he has no questions of that. But for once in his existence—and it's a long existence, unending, eternal in a way that neither human nor Cetra could never even comprehend—he's going to control exactly how that happens.

Sephiroth knows he can't control whether or not he ends up alone, but he can choose how it happens. He can do things right this time. Maybe if he saves the world it will be different. Maybe the planet will accept him. Maybe he won't be alone.

And if he is (and he knows he will be), at least it was on his own terms.

At least, for once in the whole of creation, Sephiroth had a single flicker of control over his own existence. For once in the entirety of existence, Sephiroth made a decision for himself.

He'll have to live with that decision, alone, for eternity—but it was his.

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chrliekclly · 24 days

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if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

#ask #pariskim #charlie kelly #joyce kelly #ramblings #i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to #th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr #i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao #but i do lov her

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heytherecentaurs · 14 days

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The Bad Parents would see Kristen in crisis, sort of in free fall, and all endeavour to help her. She's a kid who had to leave home because her parents are bigots. Then she moved in with her girlfriend's family (which thankfully is also her best friend's family). But do you ever think she was scared, even briefly, that she'd have nowhere to go when she and Tracker broke up? Like maybe in the back of her mind she wondered if the grace they'd shown her was because she was Tracker's girlfriend.

I think the bad parents would have rallied around her. Jawbone who knows how hard she's been grinding at school. Sandra Lynn who fully understands what it's like to be a young woman in crisis. (And who is used to dealing with Fig's special brand of bullshit; Kristen's problems might seem easier to tackle.) Wilma and Digby who are so kind and understanding but don't put up with bullshit and won't be pushovers. Even Sklonda who didn't want Riz's friends exploiting him, but you can't tell me she wouldn't hear from Riz that Kristen is Acing her cleric classes and crushing it on the campaign, and now you're telling Sklonda this girl who's really applying herself in shitty circumstances is being punished for it and on top of that it's going to effect her own kid's academics and future. Get the fuck outta here.

Kristen just needs one adult to march into that school with her and say "You're out of order." Like the school may be able to push around some kid and force her through hoops, but Sklonda or Sandra Lynn? No way. "You can't expel her. Kristen has perfect grades and is an active student in extracurriculars. What do you mean, 'She fails because her deity is dead'? Does Kristen still believe in her? Yes. Does Kristen still have her magic? Yes. How then can her goddess be dead? Last I checked Cassandra is a goddess of mystery. Just because you don't understand the mystery doesn't mean you have the right to punish Kristen for it. In fact combined with the cleric teacher's behaviour, this constitutes discrimination on religious grounds." Like... "Who's in charge here? You don't have someone qualified at the head of your administrative faculty? I'm going to have a class action suit brought against the school on behalf of the student body and you don't have Arthur Aguefort here to protect you."

Kristen needs an adult to reasonably address these issues on her behalf and failing that, an adult who will be mean.

Put me in a room with whoever you want from that school and I'll eat them alive. I'll make them cry. I don't care if Jace Stardiamond is evil or not. And I certainly don't care what big tent megachurch bullshit Bobby Fucking Dawn slithered out from. Fuck him and his Kentucky-fried drawl. I'll crush him.

(Side note: Kristen should have immediately begun whatever emancipation process Solace has because Mac and Donna should not be making legal and medical decisions on her behalf.)

#dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #kristen applebees #bad kids #the bad parents #sandra lynn faeth #sklonda gukgak #wilma thistlespring #digby thistlespring #jawbone o'shaughnessey #jace stardiamond #bobby dawn #hey there centaurs

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biggie-chcese · 5 months

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rain code age headcanons because i have literally only ever been choosing ages based on what's funniest but now i wanna cast away my grand layers of irony and be genuine for a moment. also. this goes pretty in depth so be prepped for the long haul when you click read more lmao.

spoilers for the whole game below and it's because of one specific character iykyk

Yakou - this man has the soul of a guy in his late 40s going through what would be his midlife crisis if not for the fact that he's fully aware he passed the midpoint years ago. but that soul is trapped in the body of a guy who doesnt look a day older than 28. what moisturizer does he use? i doubt he even uses anything other than that 13 in 1 shampoo. anyway, i think he's 32.

Halara - 26. nothing really to justify this other than they've got that mid 20s swag but 25 didn't feel right. adult enough to be as competent as they are yet young enough to look like that. moving on.

Desuhiko - 19. i think he's the youngest of the NDA because. well. idk man have you read his dialogue? he's got a whole lot of growing to do and is still very lost on his direction in life. he's giving 'bitch fresh outta high school (or in this case, detective training) and relishing in his freshly obtained freedom."

Vivia - 28? yeah i got nothing for this i am going purely on vibes here. 28 just feels right.

Fubuki - 23. she's clearly still a bit young but is also clearly a grown ass adult who wasn't raised right so i think this makes for a happy medium, especially if she's already been on some worldwide adventures n shit before the game. works out quite swimmingly methinks.

Kurumi - 18. for my personal comfort bc we'll get to yuma later but im not gonna sit here and ignore the way the game constantly grovels at the audience's feet to ship them so id rather she not be any younger than this. anyway, more about her: she tends to hold her own as an informant with more competence, maturity, and effecience than most of the NDA. but she also has a pretty childish black and white view on things, like believing her beloved detectives are always right (girl if you were real you would be ENTRENCHED in stan culture oml do NOT get into minecraft youtubers) but i've... seen 18 year olds on the internet that are exactly the same so whatever

Aetheria girls - putting them all at 17-18 because, based on honorifics, they are treated as upperclassmen by their peers in the Japanese dub. i think waruna is the youngest and kurane is the eldest.

Yomi - 25. he has that vibe. old enough to be taken seriously as an adult but young enough to act like That™. yknow?

Martina - 32. she's giving older woman sexy librarian vibes and generally carries herself with a certain level of poise and maturity but is also a freak in a way that can best be explained by being a woman in her 30s. not elaborating on this

Swank - 41. to me he's like those awful surly businessmen who go to cabaret clubs to drink and smoke their office job woes away and cheat on their wives. but he also has extreme mafia boss swag about it so i kinda love him for that. dunno what this has to do with age tho. moving on.

Seth - 22 because he's giving youngest brother. i think he's the youngest of the peacekeepers in general. guillaume definitely bullies him about this.

Dominic - 34. bro is built like a jojo character what else do you want me to say. he's still got that youthfulness about him that makes me think he's still not going through his midlife crisis, so i wouldn't place him any older

Guillaume - 23. guillaume is so girlypop manic pixie dream girl core that she's definitely got the energy of someone who is young but also strikes the balance of being someone who has a job and a mortgage. dunno how she does it. id like to think she isnt even much older than seth but still bullies him for being the baby of the peacekeepers. do u understand my vision. please. they have so much annoying coworker potential.

shinigami - idk like 1000. she's a death god who cares.

yuma - okay. yeah. look i dont give a singular fuck about age discourse- headcanon whatever you want- but from looking at canon material i genuinely think that he could not possibly be any younger than 21. 20 if we wanna push it. yes, i know he looks young. i have eyes. but also, im in my 20s and the most common thing people tell me when i reveal my age is "oh, i thought you were 15." one time a person asked me if i was 12. at my job. that i was actively working at. i was 20. adults can look young, and contrary to the classic 1000 year old loli dragon trope he doesnt act overtly childish. he acts like a normal fuckin guy. yes he cries but like. you wouldn't in his position? bro speedruns lifelong trauma so skillfully that he's backwards long jumping into alternate universes where everything is somehow worse. i'd be freaked out if he didn't cry. also im aware that the child prodigy detective trope is a thing and that kodaka has written that before but... he was number one three years ago. and the training takes two years. which means, if he is a minor in the game's present day, he started working at the WDO at 12 and became number one at 14... at the oldest. have you ever met a 14 year old? forgive me for not suspending my disbelief here. and really the kicker for me is that yuma has a line where he says he's not sure if he's drinking age (which would be 20 in japan), but you know who would be sure? you know who knows yuma's age better than yuma?

makoto kagutsuchi - this megacorporation CEO has a fully stocked minibar installed in his penthouse. <- sentence i cannot bring myself to believe if it's about a child. since i also cant picture him becoming CEO at age 14 without yomi at least once angrily pointing that out (he only ever mentions that makoto is an outsider, or has his head in the clouds), id like to think both him and yuma, at their youngest, earned their top spots at their respective organizations at 18. it keeps their gifted kid syndrome and young prodigy-ness without making things comically ridiculous or uncomfortable for the sheer amount of sexual situations yuma gets put into.

anyway that's my silly little ramble on age headcanons. this was actually really fun to think about. shoutout to kodaka for leaving out the ages. funniest choice he could've made

#rain code #raincode #mdarc #master detective archives: rain code #rain code spoilers #mdarc spoilers

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coffeeandsadbooks · 1 year

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Wilhelm’s struggle with his sexuality doesn’t fit either into Queer Awakening, or Unabashedly Queer Wille narrative. His path to fully accepting his own queerness is very different from everything I have seen in the media. The inner fight Wilhelm is having throughout S1 and S2 is shown in a very subtle way. Maybe that is why we, viewers accustomed to straightforward, in-your-face and often offensively stupid queer stories, can’t see this struggle for what it is.

Every clue we were given in S1 leads us to one conclusion: up until the video Wille wasn’t out to anyone.

Let’s recap:

1. Felice is excited about Wille going to Hillerska because it means she has a shot with him. No one tells her to cool down because no one has a reason to suspect the prince to be anything but straight. We are talking about people who know each other pretty well: nobles and riches have been going to the same schools, same clubs, same resorts for generations. As F. Scott Fitzgerald (or Zelda Fitzgerald, who knows) put it: ‘…then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together.’ And yet, there isn’t even a whisper about Wille maybe, possibly being interested in boys.

2. Wille wasn’t out to the closest person in his family – Erik. The conversation they had on parents’ day hints that. @mirabel-on-a-bicycle explained it perfectly: ‘Even during that phone call, he was sitting in a pretty relaxed position, up until he said that he wanted to stay at school. And when he did admit to liking someone, the camera made the extra effort of floating down from his face to show his hand clutching at his knees. Like yea, it was adorable, the way he got so puffy and defensive about having a crush, but under all this, they were nervous mannerisms as well!’

A long time ago I saw a post about Erik using genderless words in the conversation about Wille’s ‘crush’ and it is the only detail that allows speculations about Erik suspecting.

3. Wille wasn’t out to his parents. For Kristina to say ‘Now it’s you and your future children who will succeed me’ after Erik’s funeral, she must have been pretty sure that her younger son was straight. Otherwise, it would be inconsiderate if not cruel of her, especially at that moment. The fact that she and Wille don’t discuss his sexuality after the video is completely understandable: the queen has a crisis on her hands and it needs to be dealt with. Priorities.

Besides, there is nothing to discuss. It’s Sweden-2021: equal rights for LGBTIQA+ people are supported by 98% of citizens, Church of Sweden gives matrimony to same-sex couples since 2009. In S2 when Kristina says ‘Oh, please. Your father and I love you just the way you are, Wilhelm’, and she is slightly annoyed because of the fact she even has to say such an obvious thing out loud.

Ludvig is basically a piece of furniture, I have no idea what he is doing in the show. He and Wille barely talk so it’s safe to assume he was the last one to learn about his younger son’s sexuality.

4. August’s reaction when he is shooting the video says it all: in the beginning, he is smiling because he thinks it will be a fun prank. But the moment he realizes it is not a girl in Wille’s bed, we see August being genuinely shocked. Despite being close to the royal family and being friends with Erik, he had no idea about Wille’s queerness.

5. Finally, Hillerska students are surprised to find out about the nature of Wille and Simon’s relationship. Stella and Fredrika bring up the topic of surrogacy and we see them being scandalized/entertained by the prospect. The thought about the next heir to the throne born in a same-sex marriage had never crossed their minds because there was no reason for that.

So we can be sure that no one knew Wille was queer.

Why wasn’t he out?

He is only sixteen; it wouldn’t be unusual to figure out his sexuality at this age. Considering that no one knew Wille was queer, it is safe to assume Simon was the first boy Wille ever pursued. Otherwise, rumours would have gotten out.

Wille consistently freaks out about being with Simon. We see him struggling with crossing certain lines: at the end of E1S1 he is scared when he realizes he is attracted to Simon, in E2S1 he can’t immediately kiss Simon back, then he regrets doing it and tries to convince Simon it was a mistake.

It is really difficult to tell what exactly is the reason for Wille being so reluctant at different points. But as Edvin put it: ‘His problem is not being in love with a boy, his problem is being a prince.’

If we follow this logic, we will understand that Wille is scared of being out publicly. He is in a very unique position. To him, coming out doesn’t just mean a conversation with parents and another – with friends. He is a crown prince, and he is expected to produce an heir. He doesn’t want to discuss his sexuality with the whole world though at some level he understands it is inevitable. He acts consistently as if coming out is the last thing he wants to do. When Kristina suggests he lie about the video, Wille reluctantly agrees. Reluctantly, because he knows lying will mean leaving Simon alone to deal with the consequences. But the alternative – confessing that it was him and that he is, in fact, queer – is unbearable to him at that moment. Wille says it himself when he attempts to apologize to Simon: ‘If I came out, all hell would break loose! How can you even ask me to do that?’

He needs time to accept the idea of coming out to the whole world. We can’t really blame a sixteen-year-old for not wanting to go through this process. Queer people know that opening up can be painful. Not every person in your life will be kind and understanding. Coming out to billions of people is really, really scary. So even when Wilhelm makes his peace with the idea itself, he still struggles with the perspective of actually doing it. He accepts Kristina’s suggestion to come out in two years not because he is afraid of his mother. We have seen Wille being extremely difficult when his demands aren’t met. He accepts her suggestion because it feels right – ‘I will come out, but later.’ Even when he realizes that ‘later’ won’t get him Simon back, he doesn’t go Instagram Live to say: ‘Hi, Sweden, it’s your crown prince. It was me in the video. I am into boys. Have a nice day.’ It takes him more time than that to gather his courage.

Fully accepting one’s own sexuality can be a long process. A person can skip the whole panic stage, but still struggle with the idea of being open to family, friends, colleagues. YR does a superb job of showing this process and it is another thing for which I adore the show.

#young royals #young royals analysis #wilhelm #simon #kristina #august #unnecessarily long essays

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aangell333 · 7 months

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thong snatching eli ‘hawk’ moskowitz x reader 💌🌸

summary: hawk winds up stealing his crush’s panties and is suddenly overcome with panic and not a single idea what to do… until he fully realised what he’s stolen

warnings: part one? maybe? kinda pervy!hawk, male masturbation, hawk having a borderline crisis, kinda mean!hawk, typical tutor x tutee, hawk’s fantasies

END IS NOT PROOFREAD.

“eli, can I talk to you after class with y/n please?” mr palmer asked.

“uh, sure. I gotta get to karate, though, so make it quick. and it’s hawk.” hawk replied snappily. his poor science teacher sighed and shook his head as he walked away. “when are these teachers gonna learn, dude?”

“y/n? as in y/l/n?” miguel asked hawk from the seat beside him, ignoring the mohawk-ed boy’s moody grumbling.

“I’m pretty sure that out of all the kids you’ve bullied in the school, I don’t think you’ve even acknowledged her!” from the table behind, demitri cracked a joke in his dry, sarcastic humour; earning a snort from miguel and a glare from hawk.

“dude, I don’t bully girls.” hawk replied in a slight mutter.

“yes. you do.” sam replied from the table in front of him and miguel, turning in her chair.

“h-hey sam…” miguel swooned.

“since when?” hawk demanded, his face scrunching. “besides, we’re getting off-track! who’s this y/n girl?”

“that’s her.” aisha pointed over sam’s shoulder to you. hawk glanced over at you and scoffed.

“she looks like a mega nerd.” he and miguel snickered.

“she is not! don’t diss my back-up bestie like that. she’s actually super cool.” yasmine said from beside demitri.

“whatever.” hawk rolled his eyes.

truth was, hawk did know who you were. god, did he know. maybe hawk was acting like he didn’t know you, but eli was screaming inside of him at even being in the same room as you. as eli, he had had the biggest crush on you. he would be jittery everytime you were around, he would blush at the thought of you- fuck, he’d even forget about his lip around you! you had consumed his every thought since middle school. so yeah, there was a reason hawk ‘hadn’t even acknowledged you’.

so when the end of class finally rolled around and hawk found himself stood beside you in front of the teacher’s desk, he had to contain eli like a fucking animal into a cage. shoved deep down so he could act like hawk — cool, calm, collected, and super fucking hot.

“eli-“

“-hawk.” mr palmer sighed as hawk corrected him.

“you’re falling behind. your grades are falling and it’s causing your gpa to decline. we can’t have that. that’s why I’ve asked y/n here to tutor you. lucky for you, she’s said yes.” at his words, hawk’s stomach turned into a rampage of butterflies. that flew up to his throat when you threw him a warm smile. “now, as you know, there was an… incident in the library yesterday due to some… karate enthusiasts. so y/n has very kindly agreed to tutor you at her home. in her own time. do you understand?”

“b-but that’s my time too! time I could be practicing karate!” hawk exclaimed before he realised the situation. you. y/n y/l/n. eli and hawk’s long, long, long, long term crush. would be tutoring him. at his home. out of school hours. “nevermind it doesn’t matter. when do we start?”

“whenever you want.” mr palmer smiled triumphantly.

“I’m free today?” you suggested. hawk’s heart melted at your words.

“y-yeah. today is good.” he stuttered back.

“didn’t you snap at me not twenty minutes ago about having karate practice-“

“cancelled. I’m completely free.” hawk melted even more as you beamed at him.

“great. wanna go now?” at your words, hawk could only deftly nod. “great!”

god, eli had only ever dreamed of being in your room. it was a perfect reflection of you. in every way.

“sorry it’s a little messy,” you laughed sheepishly as you picked up a few things off of the floor. but he didn’t care about any form mess at all. “still definitely no to a drink? or anything to eat?”

“I’m fine, honestly. thank you, though.” he said, placing his bag on your bed and standing almost awkwardly. he watched as you placed your bag on your desk and began unpacking folders and books.

“so, what would you like to focus on first?” you asked, your back still to him. hawk couldn’t help but glance at your jean-clad ass, a smirk crawling onto his lips.

“uh, anything you want to really,” he replied, his eyes unable to drag away from the sight before him.

“I was thinking start from the beginning? and I just talk you through it? you can make me stop or start again whenever you like.” he couldn’t help but smile as you turned around with the big science textbook in your hands. he nodded.

“sure. sounds good to me.” his heart melted further at the sight of your relieved smile. you were obviously glad your taking charge hadn’t upset the temperamental boy.

you turned back around and began setting stuff up.

“you sit in this chair-“ you pointed to the plush desk chair beside you. “- i’ll go grab one for me.”

you walked out of the room and eli looked around. a small hamper in the corner of the room caught his eye and he smirked as he imagined the contents. he heard your footsteps descending the staircase and decided it couldn’t hurt to peek. and that’s what he did.

cracking the lid open, he was pleasantly surprised by how a black, cotton thong sat on top of your worn clothes. he smirked.

he hadn’t meant to snatch it, but he had picked it up and had to contain a groan at the sight of white streaks where your cunt had rubbed against it for an entire day; you must’ve been needy that day. and when he had heard your footsteps coming back up, he only had one thought in his empty mind.

hide it.

so he had stuffed the panties into one of the unassuming pockets of his cargo pants and headed out of the door.

“hey, do you need help with that chair?” he chuckled.

he sat on his bed, his hands shaking and eyes wide. why the fuck had he gone and snatched the poor girl’s panties? he cursed himself for his horny thoughts.

he turned the skimpy fabric over in his hands and his breath hitched when he caught another sight of those white streaks. going out on a whim, an unsure one at that, he brought the cotten closer to his face and took a smell.

fuck.

how does someone’s cunt smell so good?

he felt his half-hard cock twitch in his boxers. he took another sniff, this time inhaling harder. his eyes rolled back as your most intimate scent invaded his senses and he couldn’t help palming himself through his cargos.

he wiggled his hand into his cargos and palmed himself through his boxers. he felt too constrained. he shimmied off his cargos and chucked them aside before reaching into his boxers and grabbing his hardening cock.

inhaling again, he began stroking. nice and slowly. he ran his thumb over his slit and the thighs in his muscles briefly clenched. he spat into his hand before resuming his strokes, soon building up speed.

he’d never felt this way about a girl. so fucking horny and desperate that he steals her dirty panties to jerk off to. but, alas, that was what he was doing. he jerked his fist harder, his hips bucking as he pressed the fabric to his nose and tried to suppress his moans. you just smelt so good, it was intoxicating.

he pictured you, studying away at your desk in your cute room with a cute little frown on your face, completely oblivious to his perverted actions. he squeezed his dick slightly and moaned at the feeling, imagining it was you clenching around him. his thoughts wandered to fucking you. having you under him, on top of him, in front of him and bent in two as he pounded into you from behind.

he wanted you in every way possible.

if fate should allow it, he thought.

but his mind soon wandered back to the wildly inappropriate thoughts of you sucking him, licking him, riding him, anything where he was inside of you. and god it made his dick strain.

his release hit him before he could register it, the only thing his mind acknowledging being your scent in his nose and fogging up his mind like a mirror after a hot shower.

his cum leaked through his boxers, staining them a dark shade of grey. he cursed himself as post-nut clarity washed over him.

and he vowed to slip you your panties back during your next study session…

…after he’d taken them for another few spins.

#x reader #smut #hawk x reader #hawk x reader smut #hawk #cobra kai #cobra kai x reader

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tiny-sassy-aggressive · 2 months

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After watching We’re All Doomed, the comedy show by Daniel Howell, I need to take moment to write out how that show made me take a step back in my own life and evaluate progress and positive growth in my life as I realized that his timelines/feelings could be foiled in a meaningful way to my life. I was particularly inspired to write this while watching the scenes on the screen of the moments of joy people were experiencing. I swear I had chills and I started to tear up. As he spoke about not only embracing the void, but finding the courage to exist, but not just exist, but to live and find those moments of joy, I was reminded about how that moment in searching for why life was worth living was how I came (back) to Catholicism. I don’t intend this post to encourage others to or away from the Church. I simply was inspired by Dan to share how I got to a place of accepting that life is worth living and how I hope to move forward.

I want to first tw cancer, death, feelings of not wanting to exist, and mentions of suicide. Nothing is explicitly discussed in great detail but only mentioned. I have never written out my story before, barely talk about it even to this day. Tried therapy a few times but it wasn’t for me, but that’s neither here nor there. This is a safe space for me to share something I just wouldn’t with family and friends. Though, I must apologize in advance, like Dan, I talk/write way too much so this will be a very long post.

Thank you to all those who take the time to read my random story and I hope to hear from others how Dan’s story and/or show have affected you so we can share in those feelings as a community.

I am chronically depressed and anxious. Always have been as it runs in the family. However, the problem was my parents, or really, I should just say my mom because my dad was never around in an emotional capacity that mattered, didn’t necessarily believe in mental health. Sure they knew depression and anxiety were real, but those were just emotions people felt and there wasn’t anything to do but continue on and try your best to keep going no matter what. It’ll be fine, just keep moving and working, right? Well when I was 12/13 I was getting bullied really badly. It got to the point where I was having panic attacks before going to school, crying at night, constantly feeling nauseous, and worst of all, I would refuse to leave my moms side, so school got to be pretty difficult. My mom was fully aware of what was going on so she went in immediately and got the bullying handled (as much as she could, middle schoolers are brutal. It never really went away but it was less of a nuisance) but she did not understand why I still felt ill and didn’t want to leave her side. She found me a therapist and I went twice. I knew we had financial struggles and I started to feel better so I stopped going. I was still sad and scared but those were normal feelings, right? I could go to school and play my flute, talk to friends, and sure I was writing songs about being trapped in a cage and having no one hear my screams but I was just an edgy teen, I wasn’t depressed. That’s just me being me. No mental illness here! I’m fine. Spoiler alert- I was not fine and it was only going to get worse.

When I was 14 I found Dan and Phil! I was a huge o2l fan so I followed Connor Franta and he posted Internet Trivia with Dan and Phil and I absolutely fell in love with them and fell down the rabbit hole of their channels and the gaming channel. I loved them both but I definitely had a bias towards Dan because he wore all black and was edgy. Watching Existential Crisis for the first time gave me a phrase to the weird feelings I had. Both affirmed and disproved the fact I was mentally ill but I still didn’t have the words for it so I just thought I was mentally different from other people. Watching that video back with all the context of 2024 and 2024 Dan, that video covered an extraordinarily heavy topic but he never mentioned the word depression or mentally ill because, at that point, why would he? Since he was the only person who voiced those feelings that I also shared, I took them to heart, but I could only take those words to heart as I had no reference to infer what else all that meant. So I kept all my feelings to myself. After all, this guy said he had all these big feelings but was fine. Call me naïve, I was 14, so I believed I could be okay and still feel existential. It was normalized, plus nothing else in my life was being affected, I was doing well in school, I had friends, I had hobbies, I was fine. How could I complain?

A few months after the start my freshmen year of high school, my older brother was diagnosed with leukemia and everything changed. He was sick and had to stay in the hospital for months, one of my parents would always be at the hospital, and me and my little brother would visit on the weekends when we could. My mom really stressed the importance of keeping a normal schedule so we did. School, extracurriculars, piano, just keep moving and everything will be alright. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry. I had to remain okay, fine, an unbreakable force because I couldn’t have anyone worrying about me because we all had to worry about my brother. Which we did! I never wanted to be a burden or not okay because I wanted all attention and time focused on his wellbeing. I don’t remember talking to anyone about anything emotional. Sure as hell not my parents. Not my brothers. Not even my friends. So I watched videos and removed myself and all emotions from my being so I didn’t have to think or be.

When he was first diagnosed I felt lost and confused. So I did the one thing my private, catholic school taught me to do. I found God and prayed. Except, I can say certainly looking back, it was not a meaningful relationship I created. It was one forged in fear, confusion, and a misunderstanding of how to pray. Ironically, for a catholic school, they didn’t know how to teach someone to come to God, they just expected you to understand, but that’s beside the point and a different conversation. But that’s what I did! I prayed, every morning and night, Lord, Please heal my brother. Please. Tried devotionals I didn’t get, muttered words I didnt understand, and played the part. I watched everyone else around me do it so I did it too, to the point where I believed I needed to be perfect or else my prayers would fail, which, I cannot express enough, was not the appropriate mentality, but that’s what I thought was necessary.

About 7 months later, my brother was in remission and he came home! He was okay! We got through the summer, he came back to school, we were in band and choir together again. It was fun!! We were all okay again. The dark spots in my head were still there but they were probably just left over from how scary last year was. How could I not be happy with my brother back home and alright again. At this point, my prayers were answered so I slowed down my prayers. I was okay so I felt as if I did not need my relationship with God as intensely anymore because I felt fine. Plus, when I was sad or scared those were just normal reactions that were not taking over my life so why dwell on them.

In 2017, Dan released Daniel and Depression. And I don’t exactly remember my reaction. But at that point in my life, I remember coming around to the idea that maybe I was not as mentally sound as I thought. But even listening to what he had to say, I was still convinced I was not depressed, I was just traumatized from what had happened to my brother and to my family. I had spent that time living through hell and I never stopped, I did not lay in bed wallowing, I didn’t not brush my teeth or not take care of myself. I was a high functioning nearly straight a student through and through. I was not depressed.

I don’t know why that was such a dirty word for me. Or maybe it wasn’t a dirty word, but it was something I didn’t want associated with myself. My school didn’t believe in mental health because all you had to do was pray and “you can’t be depressed and be with God” - Which by the way is completely inaccurate and harmful for young people to grow up learning. On the other hand, my parents lived in a hospital with my sick brother for months, I shouldn’t be depressed or talk about the weird sadness I was experiencing after everything they went through. It’d be selfish of me to not be alright.

Two months after Dan posted his depression video, my brother got sick again, the cancer came back. I prayed fervently once again. Knowing it worked once it could work again. Every morning and every night in the depths of my dark room where no one could see or hear because everyone else in my family was not religious or was too angry at God to believe. I put it on myself to pray and to be good so he can be healed again. But I failed. He died 4 months later on my 17th birthday. Years later, a therapist would tell me that happened because he didn’t want me to forget about him, well jokes on the therapist I was never going to forget anyway. I failed, it was my fault he died. If I prayed more, if I was a better person, if I just focused I could have saved him. But I wasn’t enough, I was not good enough to save him. This wasn’t true, of course, nor how religion/prayer works. But I didn’t know what else to do or think. So I blamed myself. I wasn’t even there when he died. My parents told my little brother and I that he wasn’t ever coming home and a few days later, on my birthday, we went to school and when my dad picked us up from school he drove us home and my mom was sitting there and that’s when I knew. My little brother was so cute, he later admitted he just thought my mom had come home to see me for my birthday but I knew immediately. I still don’t know how my dad just picked us up that day and didn’t say anything.

A part of me died that day. How could it not have? It was a strange night. We cried. I ate a pre-bought cupcake. My brother went to lacrosse practice and the next day we both went to school. Because that’s just what we did. We just kept going. Let me tell you, you’ll get the strangest looks from people when they see you at school after they just heard over the loud speaker that your brother had died the previous day. Because really, what were we doing there? We were the highest functioning traumatized students you had ever seen. I was only 2 minutes late to my first class of the day, math. I went to the chapel in the school with my really close friend to cry and listen to adoration music and just wonder why, why, why? 2 minutes wasn’t too bad, the teacher was surprised to see me and I failed the math quiz we had. She was nice, she offered to not have me take it, but I was already there and it was math quiz time so I took the quiz. She let me redo it too. She was nice, I needed it. It felt normal so I felt fine.

And that was all the rest of the 2018 school year was. Fine. Went to class, studied, did my extracurriculars, performed in all the shows, hell, I even went to prom with said super close friend from earlier. It was obvious I was traumatized and sad but how could I not be? But I was doing everything a normal student would be doing so what was the problem?

The problem was I felt alone, hell, I was alone. My family was broken, shattered into a million a pieces. My dad was distant, my mom cried, my bothers and I weren’t talking in any meaningful way. I talked to one person, the guy who held me in the chapel the day after my brother died and who took me to prom. I loved him, we loved each other. He was the only person who I felt actually saw me. I always had some barriers up but I felt free with him and I know he just wanted me to be okay even in the midst of tragedy. We were friendly for 2 years but we got close right before my brother was diagnosed again. Those months meant so much to me and I thought we would always be close. But 1 month after my brother died. He told me he did not want to continue our relationship or friendship. He said I was too much to handle or had too much going on. In all honesty, I don’t remember his exact words because I most definitely mentally blacked out. And he broke what little part of me was left.

(About 2 1/2 years later he ended up calling me and after not really speaking to him at all since that moment, I picked up, more out of curiosity then trying to rekindle anything. He told me that, unbeknownst to me back in 2018, he went to our Moral Theology teacher (yes- private catholic school) to ask for advice because he saw how much pain I was in and he did not know how to help me. Instead of this teacher, a literal adult, going to our schools counselor, my mother, or even me and addressing this 17 year old boys concerns about ME, he told him that he should just give me space because of the mental weight of the tragedy I was living through. His advice to this boy was to essentially isolate me. Looking back, I do feel bad for this boy. He tried so hard to do the right thing for me but didn’t have the right directions. And on the other hand I am so mad at the teacher because that was the worst advice he could have ever given ever. Thanks! Real talk though, I loved that boy and he always meant the world to me. We didn’t keep in touch afterward that 2020 conversation but I kept tabs on him through mutual friends and he always listened to my music on Spotify. He went through a tough time and he committed suicide in 2022. I really do miss him and wish things were different for all aspects of his story, my story, and what might have been our story. It felt wrong to exclude his memory in this post because he truly played such a crucial role and he meant so much to me even years later)

Back to 2018, after he abandoned me. I was completely and utterly alone. And now, I feared opening up at all to anyone because I didn’t want to be perceived as the burden I truly was. So I swallowed every once of trauma, depression, and anxiety so I was perceived as a functioning, fine, human being who didn’t need anyone to worry about her. I didn’t want anyone to worry or care for me because they thought I was fragile or broken because I now had proof that I would become too much to handle and that anyone would just leave me just as he had. And that was it. I smiled, I laughed, I spent the next year completing every senior year milestone and graduated high school. And I didn’t feel one emotion. I was fine.

Summer 2019 was when things started to shift a bit and here’s where I think the foiling begins. For one, Dan had just released Basically, I’m Gay and he started to live his truth being out of the closet. I truly don’t want to nor feel like I can comment anymore on this topic because that was his own personal journey and I don’t want to speculate on anything he said. He did so quite clearly and explicitly. But the point I am making was that in the middle of 2019, he began living his truth. This one thing he didn’t talk about that is so quintessential to his character was now a public part of him and he got to experience that joy of being out. There was a shift in his character, anyone who watched his video could tell, he was happy, he seemed excited. He went to pride, did promotional videos, and he just seemed like he was living in a brighter light. It was beautiful to watch and I’m grateful he let us share in those moments of joy with him.

Before I get too deep into this section, I want to preface and state that I do not remember large chunks of time between 2018-2021. All the trauma and depression have made me forget nearly everything, and it’s a very weird sensation to have little to no memories of 3/4 years of time. I can recall general feelings and most memories I can see are from a third person pov so I can see what was happening, but I see it happening to me, not me actually experiencing the memory.

For me, summer 2019 meant leaving for college. Now, in hindsight, I made a major error. I was going to the same college my brother had been at before he died. I don’t know what I was thinking or why I thought it was a good idea but the school gave me money so I would have been a fool to take on more student loans than necessary, plus, I knew I wanted to transfer the next year and move half way across the country so I had an end goal in sight, just had to get through the year.

I also started to go to church again. There was a cute little church about a half mile down from my school so it was an easy walk. I don’t consider this change/new addition a mistake, but I do often wonder what was I thinking exactly. I don’t recall my exact process but remember two dueling trains of thought. For one, I still 100% felt weird about religion/God because I blamed myself for my brother dying because I wasn’t praying enough and wasn’t good enough to save him. But on the other hand, I did not feel right to never enter a church again and a part of me wanted to return because it felt like the right thing to do. I spent my entire formative years at a private catholic school. I knew all the prayers, scripture, the saints (I was confirmed taking St. Rose Philippine Duchesne), and my senior year religion class was dedicated to teaching us how to explain/teach the faith to non-believers. And I believed in all of it! I had faith, so how could I not be going to church. Call it guilt, or whatever you want to call it, but I couldn’t turn my back on the church after everything I had learned so I went back. It was the truth I believed in and the truth I wanted to live by. I told myself that eventually I would just feel better, I’d continue to pray to heal and keep going through the motions until it stuck. At this point, I had fully embraced the void I was living in. I accepted that I was depressed, I accepted that I was depressed long before the trauma began so I was battling undiagnosed depression alongside the after effects of the trauma, and I accepted that I am an incredibly anxious person. That was alot for an 18 year old to take in but I finally accepted what my truth was. I admit it and that’s the first step right? I know I am mentally ill so I started some therapy, and I continued going to church and praying because every thing I read and was told said those were the best things I could do to help myself. So things could only get better from here, right?

Not necessarily. The end of 2019 flew by and before we knew it we were in the throes of a global pandemic. Within 3 months in 2020, my parents divorced (finally), my grandmother died from the same cancer that my brother had which was sick was twisted if you ask me, and my mom, little brother, and I moved half way across the country. Oh and I transferred colleges in all that too. Besides every single bad thing we experienced, moving was supposed to be our new start. A new place, new schools, new adventures. No longer living in the state with every bad memory we had or the house we essentially grew up in. It was new and fresh, almost the perfect situation to start a mental health journey in, besides the recent trauma I still don’t think I have processed fully and a global pandemic. I just thought I would be getting better.

I remember the part of We’re All Doomed when Dan mentioned 2019 being so important because he started to live his truth and I felt so similarly. I thought once I accepted what was going on in my head I’d feel better. But then 2019-2021 for both of us seemed to be one of our worse times mentally, which is oddly terrifying because of the emphasis that was present on wanting to feel improved.

Between 2019-2021, I struggled with the concept of existing. I did not understand why I was here and others weren’t, what I was meant to do, and why I was meant to do it. I didn’t want to exist. I simply didn’t have the energy. I couldn’t conjure up emotions, nothing real anyway. I just felt nothing. I never felt suicidal, never did anything to harm myself, never wanted to. I knew and continue to know that I never wanted to die. I really just wanted to feel quiet, numb, not of the earth and those are very scary feelings. I could barely put them into words for when I talked to my therapist but I tried, but all she could tell me was to find distractions for myself. Distract, distract, distract, well that’s all I’ve been doing and I don’t feel better. I listened to music, wrote music, talked to my mom, pray, do my class work, scroll through social media, but what then? When alls said and done, the music is off, the conversation is over, the work done, the phone turned off, I was left with myself and I didn’t even recognize her. My mom said she saw a light in my eyes she hasn’t seen in a while but I had no idea what she was talking about. Whatever was on the outside wasn’t being transferred to the inside because I didn’t even know who was staring back at me in the mirror. I just knew she didn’t want to be here anymore. So what now?

When Dan showed us the calendar with the little emoji emotions over the days of the month, I swear my heart stopped for a moment because it reminded me of what I started doing for myself during that same time period, that very same year he was referring to in the show. I had downloaded this app, Hallow, it’s a catholic prayer app. Scripture, guided prayers, saints stories, the whole nine yards. I liked the little guided prayers. Helped me focus I guess. And every night I’d ask for the same thing. To feel better. To be healed. It also had a little section where you could track your mood for the day so I started doing that everyday. I wasn’t thinking too hard about it I just hit the emoji I felt and moved on. Until I started noticing a pattern of hitting, sad, anxious, worried, or unsure. Soon enough I had months upon months, just days filled with those same emojis. When I actually took a step back, just like Dan did, to stare at how my months were covered in little sad emojis it broke me more than I thought it ever could. Was this all that was left for me? Days that left me feeling dejected and dark? Why wasn’t anything I was doing enough to make me feel better, to make me feel something for my life, for this world around me. Every night pleading the same questions to God, why, why, why? Just begging to be healed.

One day in 2021, I felt hopeless, I was tired, drained, and I truly did not know what to do. I just wanted to feel. So I stopped begging God to fix me and I started talking instead. And I talked and talked about everything and nothing all at once. I told Him about my day and what had happened. I told Him about the little anecdotes, my classes, the walk I went on. I told Him what I felt during the day, the big feelings and the little feelings. As I recounted my day and all the little details, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt lighter. For the first time in a long time, I was not focused on the big scary black hole of my mind, the void, I spent time talking about what my day had looked like and what I knew was on my schedule for tomorrow. It grounded me. And it was just that. I wasn’t focused on the void, I was focused on the living I was doing despite the void and there was something beautiful about that realization I have never been able to put into words until I watched Dan’s show. God was not not healing me because I did not deserve it or because I was so helpless, for it was only when I was at my lowest that I let myself let go and speak freely outside the confines of asking for the same thing over and over again without changing my mindset. It was only through those open ended conversations that I found and was confronted with the events of my life, no matter how big or small. The void, my depression, my traumas, whatever I want to call them, they are always going to exist, they are a part of my and I can’t change anything about that. But my life, my 24 hours a day, that time will pass regardless of if I choose to dwell on the darkness or not, so might as well spend my time enjoying the light that clearly exists as well. So that is what I started to do.

It is a choice that I have to make each day when I wake up. To decide to be an active participant in my life rather than a passive bystander. But like all things, it’s an attitude that can be learned, adapted, and over time it did not feel like a chore to make that choice, but a pleasure. For once, I started to look forward to the future and excited for what I could do. I found a church where I could attend mass so I would stop sitting in my room and watching online, I started to push myself to make plans outside my comfort zone and learned to not just like my own company, but enjoy the silence of being alone. The one project I am particularly proud of is my second Instagram account dedicated to romanticizing my life. Everyday, for now nearly 2 1/2 years, I have posted a photo on that account of the places I’ve been, clothes I’ve worn, and experiences I have been on. It’s my own personal photo diary proving that I have been living and that I will be continuing to live.

Photos and daily reflection have been the cornerstone of my improvement which was why that segment of Dan’s show impacted me so greatly. Each small clip he shared was probably only a second or so long but each moment held such great joy and emotions that could not be contained. It was and will continue to be a reminder that there will always be moments of joy and moments of happiness that will exist even in the face of adversity, we just have to work to see them, and choose to accept them as our own. Some days can certainly be harder than others, but after years of feeling nothing but the heavy weight of despair, even just the memories of joy are enough to encourage me to move forward. I’m alive for a reason and I believe and trust in God’s plan for me, so I choose and, now, feel empowered to continue on.

Dan was right when he said that we are all doomed. And there is this void in my life that I have learned to embrace and not just ignore. But this life was not meant to be survived, but to be lived. And I, now, have the courage to choose to live everyday.

Thank you to @danielhowell for sharing a part of yourself with the world. For creating a show that encourages us to acknowledge every part of our lives, the good, the bad, the ugly, and to show the importance of embracing every aspect of our lives while we continue our journey. Thank you for encouraging me to share my story and my journey through mental health. I have never shared my story like this before and it has been an unbelievably cathartic experience and I feel renewed in my promise to continue to choose to live.

Thank you🖤

#dan and phil #dnp #daniel howell #dan howell #danisnotonfire #dan and phil renaissance #we’re all doomed #embrace the void #have the courage to exist #embrace life #finding purpose #catholic #catholiscism #mental health #mental illness #how to be a human being #we aren’t alone #thank you

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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months

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im not even a huge fizzarozzie stan, but why are you so obsessed with warping the ship into being this huge dumpsterfire of toxicity that fizz needs to leave in order to reunite with his “soulmate” blitzo?

“Ozzie doesn’t understand him” bruh Ozzie is literally the only person who understands him he said so himself. And even the person who you’re closest toowill be kinda perplexed if the guy you hated for 10+ years suddenly becomes your bestie.

“They’ll be taking some time apart and might take a look at this codependency issue.” - lol no way viv’s doing that lol shes going all in on them being a duo. Like dont get me wrong I think they’re a bit too uwu joined at the hip for me but it’s not this horrible ship where fizz is kept in a gilded birdcage forever.

“I think karma will hit him and he’ll get his own version of what he put Moxxie through. Specifically Asmodeus, Fizz to a lesser extent.” in a perfect world I’d actually hope this would happen but considering Viv portrayed all of Hell as fangirls for them, this is 1000% Not Happening.

”Fizz definitely isn’t his first ever love, if the demonology is anything to go by. The story of Sarah in the Book of Tobit is Asmodeus’ most famous story so to exclude that would be a disservice to the character.” Viv spoils her plot points through Twitter likes, she confirmed Tobit/all demonology stories aren’t canon to Helluva unless directly stated :/ and she’s liked many versions of tweets basically saying Ozzie has never had romantic feelings ever until Fizz and never will again after he dies.

and Blitzø is his own brand of fucked up, even more so than Fizz and Ozzie combined. No way in hell those two would work out without some SERIOUS therapy on Blitzø’s end.

I think you actually clearly are a big fizzarozzie fan? you’re blowing the one time someone criticises the ship out of proportion, getting defensive, and using dramatic words like “obsessed” “warping” and “soulmate” I’m literally the 1% here. There are lots of shipping spaces you can go instead. The way the fandom treats this ship like a fragile gem shows it could do with some looking at. When people refuse to let you critique something that’s how you know it’s hiding some problems.

Who is warping anything by just noticing the events that happen and interpreting them in a way you don’t agree with?

Oz misunderstands him more than he understands. They bicker, they miscommunicate, and in the end they try again. and it isn’t all about blitz, because Oz never understood why he needed to compete in the contest at the start of Oops, he doesn’t notice fizz hiding things from him, he doesn’t listen to fizz when he worries that eyes are around, and confesses his love without Fizz fully agreeing to it. Sure Fizz hugs him or laughs it off but can’t they have some agreement on when it’s a secret and when it isn’t? He doesn’t understand Fizzs identity crisis, his need for approval from mammon, his past, any of it.

Viv also likes Crimson x Chaz fanart, art of ValAngel and Vox being a couple, art of Fizz dying, art of him being immortal, art of characters dating ocs. Art of her own self inserts, art of Blitz shape shifting into a dragon, art of Blitz and Fizz having reciprocated love, art of Alessio being Moxxies stepdad, Etc etc. That’s not enough to go on.

“The first and last time he’ll ever experience love” that is just plain weird. And obsessive. Not to mention bad writing. I’ve never heard anyone talk like that. He’s way too possessive of Fizz. He has to live his entire life with Asmodeus and die in his arms in his tower where’s he’s all alone? I hope not. That’s almost worse than him being made an immortal imp.

“She’s going all in on them being a duo” what are you talking about. Like what does this mean. She also said a main character might die and some of them don’t get happy endings.

What do you mean it’s 1000% not happening? Denial much? It already did in S2E6, with the article, the way the staff negatively react, the fact mammon said he’ll regret revealing it? The people at the show are literally Fizzarolli’s fandom, safe to say they aren’t everyone.

All demonology is not canon is just a straight up not factual statement, she makes constant references to demonology. His design is inspired by it, his apparent disapproval of monogamy is inspired by it, why would his biggest story not be referenced whatsoever? Isn’t it possible that Ozzie had his heart broken before and that’s why he’s afraid? Dang. Chill out.

As for your last paragraph, I think you just hate Blitz, ignore the fact that he’s going through development, and need to chill out. Pump the breaks a lil. Soulmates don’t exist.

#helluva boss critical #fizzarozzie critical

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cursedvibes · 21 days

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for the headcanons: takaba and uro

Thank you for the ask and interesting character suggestion!

Takaba

Sexuality Headcanon:

I think if he really likes someone, he doesn't care about gender (like he would like Kenjaku no matter what gender or sex they currently have), but he generally prefers men. In his everyday life he essentially lives and is treated like a gay men, so that's what he mostly identifies as. Like how despite what his partners say he shows no interest or plans to ever marry and have children, it seems to be entirely out of the question for him. You could say that he wants to dedicate himself to comedy fully, but most successful comedians are married, so that's not really an argument. And while having unstable income while you are still relatively unknown is a factor, the reason he is so driven to make it isn't so he can support the typical heterosexual family. Same with his classmate in university, who teases him for being unpopular with girls, which Takaba doesn't care about at all. So he definitely seems used to being seen as some flavour of queer.

I also have this headcanon that Centerman not only made him laugh for the first time, but was also his gay awakening. I mean if you look at the constume and some of the sketches...young Takaba saw Centerman spread his ass cheeks on TV and suddenly felt very funny.

Gender Headcanon:

I think he's mostly cis, but likes to dabble in gender non-conformity by wearing some make-up or dresses both for sketches and privately. I mean, he clearly likes dressing up and had no problem playing around with gender with Kenjaku. I don't think it would've bothered him much if Kenjaku had temporarily given him some boobs. He'd just play along and have fun.

A ship I have with said character:

Pinchan or TakaKen (very surprising answer I know). I didn't expect it at all when the fight started, but those two have become so perfect together in such a short period of time, it's insane. One of the few Kenjaku ships, where I can say that they are actually making each other better. Kenjaku had an immensily good impact on Takaba's mental health. Helped him out of a crisis, encouraged his comedy style and made him reconnect with aspects of himself he tried to suppress. I'm curious how this will develop when Takaba wakes up again and finds out his new partner is dead.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Hazenoki. We've only seen a little bit of them, but I love their interactions. Somehow Takaba is very good at buddying up with mass murderers. Hazenoki is throwing his body parts around and tries to kill Takaba and he's like "friends? 🥺"

A NOTP I have with said character:

Megumi. It's one of those ships where I genuinely don't even want to look at it. I just can't stand it at all. Thankfully the main shipper of it here on tumblr has me blocked and it's not that popular on twt either, so I rarely have to see it.

A random headcanon:

Takaba has connections to the drag scene and sometimes performs with them. That's how he gets some of his costumes, make-up and dresses. They also showed him how to took (like the original Centerman), but most of the time he doesn't bother to. Understandable because doing that for most of the Culling Game would be very painful and unhealthy.

General Opinion over said character:

I used to think he was a bit annoying and I didn't see much point in him (although his first introduction was very intriguing), but he's really grown on me and unexpectantly become one of my faves.

Takako

Sexuality Headcanon:

Hmm, hard to really pin down. I think she also hasn't had much time to really explore her sexuality like many aspects of her identity, but I'd say she prefers girls. The men she's been surrounded with don't make anything else very tempting. I think she could use a break from them for a while.

Gender Headcanon:

Woman, but unlike with your regular cis person this has actually been a choice for her to some degree and something she discovered about herself. Of course she has always faced sexism, but due to being robbed of her identity when serving the Fujiwara, she had to redefine or discover womanhood for herself. She does it for example by highlighting her body and not hiding it anymore. Being naked and confident in the body she has is freedom for her and shows her individuality. Her CT can be used to hide herself, which I think she did a lot while working for the Fujiwara, the entire idea was for her to essentially not exist, but she has turned it into something liberating for her.

A ship I have with said character:

Yorozu. They lived at the same time in the same location, but with wildly different experiences. I've talked before a bunch about how I think Yorozu with her nakedness and brash attitude might've been an inspiration for Takako. She was in a similar position to Yorozu, but Yorozu was able to spin it to her advantage and actually gain power and status from it, while Takako was only exploited. I hope that whenever we get another Heian flashback that we will see these two again.

btw, I got this wonderful Uro x Yorozu comic when participating in an exchange event. It's fantastic, you should check it out! Made me love the two all the more.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Kenjaku I guess? Unfortunately, there aren't that many characters she's close to. I think it's interesting that she doesn't see them as solely manipulative and has a kind of positive attitude towards them. I could see them talking politics together and also Kenjaku riling her up to accept a second life shortly before she will be executed.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Yuuta...I don't think I need to say much about that. I already hated their interactions in Sendai. The fact this is even a thing and mostly seems to consist of Yuuta objectifying her or "putting her in her place" already makes me want to bleach my brain...

A random headcanon:

I think she used to wear something similar to shinobi wear while working for the Fujiwara. She can conceal herself with her CT, but she would also cover up her body from top to bottom except for maybe the eyes, so there would be nothing anyone could identify her by.

General Opinion over said character:

Always loved her. I hope she survives the Culling Game and is able to start a new life. Out of all the reincarnated sorcerers she deserves it the most. I mean, she doesn't kill people if she doesn't have to, so there's no danger coming from her. Wishful thinking, but maybe she'll make it out by staying low...

#asks #takaba fumihiko #uro takako

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prongsmydeer · 10 months

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4

“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season

“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)

“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent

I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff

I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:

“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments

“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO

[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”

“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️

I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky

LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”

Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon

Tahani did call this one!!

“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN

The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it

“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO

Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god

However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen

“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times

I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures

“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗

Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves

Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?

Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)

“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS

“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!

Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years

Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️

“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!

“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!

Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:

“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job

That might be high-grade dread though LMAO

Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!

Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:

“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John

“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears

However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️

HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:

“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘

“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:

Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!

In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth

JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES

“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him

Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people

“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license

“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI

“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart

You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends

The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break

“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!

“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.�� Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT

“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known

Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them

“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!

POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON

“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust

Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!

“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW

I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine

“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments

[Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA

“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao

SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes

“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”

Me 🤝 John

Loving stories with gentle magic in them

“What echoes of this former self await me here?”

Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me

Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school

HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables

Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face

Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation

“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded

TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky

He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit

“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha

Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship

Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:

(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)

“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗

“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖

“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever

JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:

Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep

Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:

Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)

Janet: 7

Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)

Jason: 3

Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)

“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani

“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi

“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟

I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO

Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness

“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors

Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL

“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points

Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM

GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends

“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor

“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours

Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it

“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL

You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:

Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN

Brent 🤝 Jason

Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors

“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John

WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH

“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY

Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)

It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second

NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:

“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO

“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life

“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL

NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES

Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO

Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA

Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh

The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still

“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks

“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason

“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments

Jason 🤝 Janet

Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly

So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:

Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️‍🩹

“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW

“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞

“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!

HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE

BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH

“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!

I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO

“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII

Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma

Chidi 🤝 Me

Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married

Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand

Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)

Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE

“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi

The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗

“Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet

“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY

“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII

HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS

I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!

Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid

Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me

“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math

But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to

“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao

"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)

Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices

The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT

THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees

“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!

“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)

"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)

LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:

(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)

SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny

HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but:

Me 🤝 Eleanor

Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual

“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold

“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator

“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA

Me 🤝 Janet

Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa

Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)

OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!!

It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake

“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!

Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about

God I love these five people and not-people so much:

What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon?

“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN?

Also

Me 🤝 Michael

Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed

STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:

Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks

MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL

“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO

“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO

THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO

“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS

“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve

Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????

I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help

“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:

I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others

“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness

Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)

“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia

[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII

OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️

“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY

“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY

Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you

Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era

“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!

“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS

I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era

Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:

Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️

“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!!

“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE

“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up

I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy.

Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office

“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite

“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since

Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔

CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:

SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA

“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA

ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND

Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place

Update from 1 minute later: It was not

Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line

Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon

“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️‍🩹

“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha

Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)

MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM

Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:

“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN

I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any!

Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories!

#ayesha says things #liveblogging #ayesha liveblogs tgp #the good place #television #long post #the good place spoilers #the ending baybeeee #the good place will probably feature on this blog from this point on fyi!

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sailorblossoms · 1 year

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On Baz and his insecurity

This is gonna be a long word vomit, fellas.

First of all: this is not at all Simon’s fault and he’s absolutely allowed to be confused and not feel the need to rush in any sort of discovery for anyone’s sake. With that being said: Simon does tend to reach realizations with Baz that you couldn’t pay him to think about on his own for his own sake (because he wants Baz to understand, even when he doesn’t feel the need to understand himself). There’s also this unfortunate but understandable and very human effect where Simon’s lack of processing and understanding of himself (and Simon not saying shit he thinks and feels) feeds Baz’s insecurities.

You can see that around the word gay. When Simon asks to be boyfriends, he’s not even remotely ready to begin to consider if he’s gay, and you have Baz put his guard up with “nobody cares if you’re gay” – I mean, worse case scenario Simon’s proposal could come across as “want to be boyfriends? I’ll probably terrible though and perhaps no homo” to the guy who spend his entire adolescent thinking the person saying it was happily straight. An (understandable) identity crisis one is not ready for can come across as a dismissal for the (understandably) insecure. To be clear, I don’t think Baz gives half a fuck about how Simon labels himself. Perhaps this comes up in some manner, but when you get to the heart of it, it’s not really about identity. He cares about Simon wanting him. “You can have this, if you want it” he says (or something similar) when he softens. When Simon gets Baz’s guard down.

This manifests again after they have sex for the first time, when Simon, who usually breaks down, is happy and relaxed, and Baz, who is usually bracing himself for something to go wrong, is freaking out. His very first instinct is to brace himself for Simon not liking it (because of their previous unsuccessful attempts). Then he braces himself for Simon finding it less appealing than sex with a girl – “it’s more messy with guys,” he thinks (or something like that) which is 100% his own insecurity, and it’s very revealing. Honestly, I fully believe you don’t need to go to the author’s social media to realize Simon was neither in love nor sexually attracted to the girl he was with before, we just need to pay attention to what’s in the page (“I think it’s obvious he was never in love with her” or something she said on twitter dot com once, and not to sound like the little bitch I am but... it is obvious. I lose a little bit of my sanity when I see the lack of either romantic or sexual attraction being denied or not picked up on among readers.) I understand mind reading is not among Baz’s many talents, but even if we limit ourselves only to what Baz can hear and perceive, we can still conclude that Baz is wrong as hell for even entertaining the thought that Simon would rather be with a girl.

I would go as far as to say that Baz has the tools to know Simon isn’t actually interested in women (I know some believe he is, but this is already long and I have posted about it a lot, so I’m just gonna say “nope” and move on). In the ren faire, Baz is the one drawing you a very detailed picture about the boob situation. Nobody notices them more than him. While in boobie-land he watches Simon like a hawk, noticing the attention on him, ready to step in the second it seems like someone might try something (before doing better and more fun things such as flirting through sword fighting). Not gonna elaborate on why Simon’s is not boobie-liker behavior (I did that here) based on his thoughts, but even in Baz’s POV: Simon doesn’t pay any attention to anything that’s not fucking food. His eyes never wander, even when there are boobs almost in his arms or something. There’s also how, while in school, Baz thinking Simon actually wanted his girlfriend is all in the framing of “golden destiny” and not based on actual behaviors or shit (Notice that Baz’s tells Penny “I don’t know anything about relationships” in WS). In CO, Baz’s says Simon is leaving “with the only person he has ever wanted.” We know he only believes this because of the whole golden destiny business, which Simon likely parroted when he was in the shackles of heteronormativity, (and also because one would assume you date someone because you’re into them, yet this is an assumption CO challenges). This also means Baz has observed Simon, he has noticed other girls’ interest in him, and besides the golden shit... Baz noticed that Simon has never shown any interest in any girls (but he hasn’t put that together).

Baz has a bit of a contradiction going on. He hates such a big part of his identity, yet there’s part of him that’s comfortable in his own skin. In his own head. He dresses for himself – he likes suits – not because he’s actually trying to look hot. He doesn’t really perceive his own hotness. On some level (and to some extend) he does know his insecurities are there. He also knows that he should know better. When he’s freaking out post-sex, he does catch himself immediately like “I don’t know anything about sex with a girl or a boy actually, I’m just saying shit here.” It’s important that Simon turns that moment into one of laughter: while Baz is worrying about Simon not really wanting it, Simon shows him how happy it makes him to be with him like this.

Baz also has enough tools to know he’s wrong as hell to be jealous about Simon’s past relationship with Agatha – he had his moment to choke on his disbelief (literally) as Simon fought him on the assumption that he was attracted to her (unspoken but still there: Simon also fights the assumption that he wanted to be with her like that: he didn’t!). Simon has told him that he always felt wrong while dating her. That the thing he liked was the lack of processing because she did not awaken a single goddamn thing in him. Baz knows this. He has heard it! So he immediately feels foolish when brings up Agatha after the goat scene (ending with Simon telling him there’s nothing about him he doesn’t want, indicating he has nothing to feel jealous or insecure about without outright saying that; Agatha has her own version of that, finding Niamh irresistible and telling her she doesn’t have shit to feel jealous about without outright saying it) (they are mirrors etc).

It’s a funny little way in which the books kick your ass, you see: before the 24 hour break-up, while inside of his head, Simon calls himself a Baz-sexual (to communicate how he experiences sexual attraction), that he has never truly wanted anyone before him, thinks he has never loved and will never love anyone like he loves Baz, that he’s the most fuckable person alive or otherwise etc etc. At the same time, Baz wonders, “does Simon actually want me?” He actually doubts it. Makes me unwell, I’ll tell you that much.

It’s easy to see where Baz’s insecurities come from when you consider he doesn’t have access to Simon’s thoughts because there’s much Simon doesn’t say, even when they start communicating properly. When Simon is thinking that Baz is the love of his life, Baz isn’t even sure if Simon loves him at all. He has never heard it. (IIRC by the time the book ends, Simon still hasn’t told Baz he’s the love of his life. Baz doesn’t know Simon feels that!) That after years of thinking Simon would ride into the sunset heterosexually, he spends an entire year watching Simon pull away from him, breaking down whenever they try to do more than kissing. That, on top of that Simon shows that he has issues with being gay, and being gay in public, which for Baz translates into issues with behaving like boyfriends in public, and/or having issues with wanting Baz. That, on top of all that, Baz thinks his monstrousness makes him less deserving of love and acceptance.

That’s part of why it’s so notable for Baz, when Simon starts getting so handsy with him in public (the line about how, “for someone who worries about being gay,” he gets off with getting handsy with Baz in public, and then how that’s “probably connected”). Why the “gay at IKEA” date makes so happy. Those moments are, in part, about how Simon showing him that he doesn’t want to hide that he wants him. Simon showing Baz that he has no reservations about wanting him. When Baz tells Simon “it’s fine not to know (what he identifies with)” he means it. It’s really alright with Baz if Simon doesn’t want to label himself. There’s a light-hearted tone in SFC when Baz tells Simon “you’re not even gay” after Simon tells him “we can be as gay as we want in my grandma’s house.” I don’t think it would have mattered much then, if Simon said “no, I’m not,” because at that point their relationship is in a good place. Baz tells you the man is an expert at getting his tie off – there’s no question that Simon wants to be with him. But I do wonder. Simon saying “I am, for all intends and purposes” then it’s all about Simon and how comfortable he has become with being perceived as gay. For Baz, it’s something he can laugh about with no further observation. They’re good. They’re in love, and they’re comfortable with each other. But I do wonder if the casual acknowledgment of their relationship being a gay one, if Simon’s positive reaction or rather, Simon not sinking into any sort of denial or reaction that could potentially feed Baz’s negative emotional state and bring back old insecurities provided the kind of comfort he needed at that moment. A moment where he worried about his family invalidating him and his relationship with Simon.

#baz pitch #snowbaz #simon snow #baz grimm pitch #simon snow trilogy #carry on #baz x simon #awtwb #wayward son #simon x baz #simon snow series

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bumblebeeenby · 1 year

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Does how does everyone else feel about Jay being an android?

Kai, at first, is in disbelief that this Jay is actually Jay. He knows it makes no sense, but he can’t believe there would be something this big and important about one of his friends that he overlooked. He’s got whiplash from the cognitive dissonance of it all. He feels guilt over not seeing it earlier, not being good enough to know. What if Jay had died because he failed to notice something so important? What kind of teammate is he? He feels like he’s failed his friend. After he gets past that, he gets a little paranoid about the whole situation and starts checking over his own body, as well as Cole’s to make SURE they’re not also secretly robots.

Zane is obviously concerned for Jay. He’s been through the process of discovering he wasn’t human, and doesn’t want Jay to go through the same identity crisis he did. Jay’s behavior is also concerning, and while the rest of the group is quick to assume that his unreasonably calm attitude in the first realm is some sort of malfunctioning, Zane is less convinced (he’s right, it’s purely psychological). He also feels regret for relying so much on Jay, Nya, and Pixal to perform repairs on him in the past, as he realizes how many vital robotics skills he lacks, making him unable to even reattach Jay’s arm or care for any of his other injuries. Although he hates himself for thinking it, his first thought after recovering from the shock is “I’m glad I’m not alone”. He can’t get over this shameful feeling of relief in learning that Jay’s also an android. It makes him happy. It alleviates some of his concerns about the state of his own humanity and he hates that he feels that way while Jay is clearly suffering.

Cole is freaked out, but recovers quicker than the others. This is fine, it’s still Jay. They already have two nindroids on the team, this is nothing new. Nothing has to change. Within seconds, he’s offering Jay verbal assurances and totally supporting him as if nothing has changed at all. He goes along with Jay’s calm attitude and keeps the other two in check. He can freak out when they’re all safe.

Nya is already stressed out when the boys return, to the point that she sees Jay and is like “haha…. okay funny prank”. They all look at her blankly and she starts asking them what the hell happened while they were gone?! She deals with it pretty well though, offers Jay comfort, and then goes into full-focus work-mode and makes damn sure she fully understands his mechanics so she can repair him in the future. For a while, Jay isn’t really emotionally ready to study his own mechanics yet, and she ensures him he doesn’t need to until he’s ready for it. (She does, however, have the same paranoid thought that Kai had and starts checking everyone else to make sure they aren’t robots too).

Lloyd asks how this is even possible, and starts trying to reason out how they could have missed all the signs. He’s the one who actually goes over all the things they’ve been through and figures out what details they’d been overlooking. The vengestone “allergy”, the weird seventh-sense Jay seemed to have around electronics, the time Jay hyperfocused so hard on a project that he didn’t eat or drink for three days but seemed perfectly fine. He’s frustrated that he missed all the obvious signs, but brushes off the feeling to instead focus on what they need to do next. No time to process his emotions! Gotta focus on the next crisis!

Finally, Pixal realizes that NO ONE KNEW. And just…. bursts out laughing in a really uncharacteristic way. She can’t believe it. She can’t believe her teammates are all this unobservant. Then she’s just like “Welcome to nindroid club, Jay. Here’s your membership card,” and prints him out an actual card.

#Lightningbot AU #rambles #answered ask #Jay walker #long post #oh god this was a lot lol

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timecma · 11 months

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i'm curious - when and why did xanthous become your favorite character?

for me it was chapter 8 of atom lol

Oh boy, alright this is where I really start to show my age haha. The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell came out when I was in middle school. One of my friends recommended it to me and I decided to read it because escapism was my only way to cope (😭). Well, when I got to the chapter where it showed the Fairy Council, I immediately was hooked on Xanthous. Solely for the fact that he was the only guy there. It kind of stood out to me because I was also the only guy in a friend group full of girls. Obviously it was because I was gay but that was back when I was still in denial and didn’t understand myself fully.

Well, I hyperfixated on this guy since it just reflected my own kind of situation. Literally like 2012-2013. Back then. Boy howdy, you wouldn’t even believe how I felt when I realized this guy was gay too. Anyway, as the books kept coming out, I kept requesting them from the library, and boom. Xanthous kept showing up. In book 2 he was there. In book 3 he was there. In 4 too for a bit, and then 5 rolled around and we got Conner’s off-brand, straight-coded, adrenaline junkie version (Blaze), and he came back for a bit in book 6. It was crazy. He had been my favorite character since The Wishing Spell. I thought he was going to die in book 6, but he made it out. When I tell you my heart was beating out of my chest you better believe it.

But, then. Then. A Tale of Magic came out. I was in college by then, going through the motions while having thought The Land of Stories was done until the sequel. When I tell you the amount of excitement I got when I saw my favorite character was getting an origin story sent me through the roof, I mean it. By then, Xanthous was a household name. My sister also loves the series and we had collaborated on a piece for the Book Hugger’s Guide—and it got in! (I tell this to everyone since they all get confused, but the name on it is hers because she’s older than me and if you were of a certain age when submitting it then you didn’t have to get parental permission, so she submitted it and you could only get one name on it so here we are. But you might recognize a bit of the anime/manga style that I’ve now expanded upon and improved. That was a reeeeeally long time ago anyway haha. I also did one for the A Tale of Sorcery Zoom Webinar and got it in there too, and I asked my sister if she wanted to help on it a bit, but all she really did was add some sparkles to what I had already done. Nonetheless, she still contributed a bit like she had the first time around. She doesn’t do much with the series anymore these days—but she and I were always kind of a team when it came to art back then.)

Also when I say that Xanthous is a household name, I mean that literally. Anyone who knows me irl knows Xanthous—especially because he now physically exists in my life. When I tell you this man has been the Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime password star I mean it. Literally. It’s always his name prefaced or followed by some random string of numbers and symbols. It’ll always have Xanthous in there somewhere. My whole entire family knows about this guy—that’s how much of my favorite character he is.

When I realized Xanthous was gay and basically had a version of the childhood I did…my world was flipped upside-down. Suddenly I knew wayyy too much about this man. Suddenly his experiences were my own and I felt kind of weird about it, not going to lie. I think it’s cool though how Chris Colfer actually came out and said he was gay and gave him a boyfriend (we also love Elrik in this house). A part of me always kind of…knew? That he was gay?? Like I could sense it with my gaydar through the books and their pages. You can smell it on this guy. You won’t believe how funny it was when I saw he had that crisis in the antique store scene in A Tale of Sorcery. Ah, that brought back memories for me personally. Except I wasn’t in an antique store, I was sitting down with friends at a get together and someone clocked me as gay and I panicked.

Anyway, Xanthous has been my favorite character for many, many, many years. I’ve got old art of him too, but I’m definitely not going to show it because it’s also art I made back when I was in the closet and trying to not let anyone realize I was a boy who liked to kiss boys lol. It’s a bit embarrassing haha.

But yeah! Xanthous’s character has always been a source of…comfort for me. I think he’s super neat and his character has such a wide arc of growth it’s insane. He’s also more complex than the others—not adhering to a specific style of character between the prequel and the main series. He feels more real. More human. More like how I do kind of haha. At first I liked him because I liked the idea that he was kind of like me.

And then he REALLY became kind of like me.

And the rest is history 😁

#the land of stories #a tale of magic #ask me anything #tlos #xanthous #xanthous hayfield #anon ask #anon answered

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mr-clow · 5 months

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Act 1: The throne of Boudica. Part 2:

The two KalHals bowed to me as soon as I looked at them, and then they followed my gesture to seat at the other side of the table. They looked like mythic medusas but without the snakes on their head and a skin with a light blue tone. Their tails wrapped around the chairs as they did their best to use human seats. The air they took then could have been a sigh if it wasn’t because they exhaled through their ribs, as their gills or proto-lungs were located similarly as human ones.

Boudica - I’m glad to see that aliens have the nerve to finally speak with humanity instead of just attacking us on our backs. What I don’t understand is what makes you think that I won’t try to clean the universe from every other specie that it is not human.

Male KalHal - Your highness, my name is Ewart. I am unable to understand what you went through, but I consider that your intelligence is above your peers. As such, you will understand that a hundred and fifty thousand KalHal died on Amanitore station and thousands others on different positions that we share with humanity. I don’t belong to any government and I only speak really for the alien species in this station as a whole, but all the individuals here are peaceful towards humans and helping in this disaster. As a race, KalHals have been the only ones that were always sided with humanity, for better or worse, during the last eight hundred years since you were contacted.

Boudica - Carlos, you have been covering the activities in this station for a long time, I assume. Tell me, how was the participation of other species with the search and rescue operations in this war?

Carlos - Your highness, statistically speaking, we had a full commitment from the KalHals and Sanarin to helps us during this crisis. The other species only joined if they had a human crewmate on their ship, meaning that only those who know how humans are first hand had joined. The others just ignored the cries for help and flew away or closed themselves, waiting for the crisis to subside.

Boudica - As I understand both of you are here to represent all the non-humans of the station and I assumed you were given this position not only for the significance of your species in human history but also because you have first-hand experience working closely with at least one human.

Female KalHal - Yes, your highness. I am Aalls, and I have born and lived with humans all my life. I consider them my brothers and sisters. I sincerely expect the same treatment from humans, and I hope you understand our position, for we wish not only to keep our lives but to assist humanity in what we can.

I saw how Ewart closed his eyes, and I understood him as I would have done the same in his position. This silly KalHal just sold the lives of the aliens in the station to me and she didn’t have a clue of what she said.

Boudica - I understand Aalls. I will respect what you just said. You can go back and prepare every KalHal and Sanarin to fight with us. As the other species, they should peacefully march towards the cells until it is confirmed that they species is not against us.

Ewart - Your majesty, if I cou...

Boudica - No, you don’t. I have already spoken, remove yourselves from here.

Carlos, after the KalHals retired. - That girl is going to learn a lesson the hard way. You were cruel with her and she didn’t even know.

Boudica - Bloody times are coming, she learnt something that she is not going to forget.

After that, several people came to see me, mainly to pay respects, many others to ask for tasks or to report the situation. By the end of the day, the station was fully in my control. Several aliens were imprisoned and many Sanarin and KalHals were enlisted. At the same time, Carlos had put together a full team dedicated to information and communication. All the press inside the station was under my control and using the available channels to inflate my image until the UN made a request for a meeting the next day. I accepted and the cleaning of the previous command room started, as we would receive the earth dignitaries there. I took the rest of the day to meet different people who wanted to offer their help, and before dinner I made a transmission inside the station to announce our victory and to wish everyone a good rest because the work had just started.

The next day, I woke up drenched in sweat and agitated. I could not remember my nightmare, but I was crying again. I dismissed it, again, and went straight to the shower, today was going to be a long day.

I mainly spent the first five hours after breakfast with Carlos and his team, learning about the eight dignitaries that were coming to speak with me. They informed me that originally the earth government was going to “clean” me, but after the rallies in the last two days around the earth and other surviving colonies they were forced to change their plans. Obviously that didn’t mean they really wanted me in the picture, so this meeting for them had two possible outcomes, they would try to make me a puppet to control people’s opinion, or they were going to declare me a mad woman and clean me after with some excuse. We as a team needed to find the third option, force them to negotiate, and for that the room had been bugged with cameras and voice recording devices. Carlos fully trusted my abilities to handle a political meeting and the base was preparing to receive dignitaries not as a refugee camp, but as a colony, while at the same time handling all the incoming survivors.

After that, I was convinced to change my clothe, an army of women and KalHals made my hair and makeup and later Duarte with a selected few walked me to the command room. In all this process, I had shut myself in my mind thinking of how I could handle the upcoming meeting, ignoring everyone around me until I entered the command room. Then and there I realized that it wasn’t a command room any more.

It suddenly dawns on me, I was inside a throne room, the centre map and hologram piece had been displaced to house a throne made purely of broken pieces of ships that have been shot down in this war as a wicked monolith to this war, uncomfortable and made to look down on those in front of it. I looked at my clothes, what I had quickly seen as a general's uniform, with more attention, it was a modified version of it. Red and black, with no predefined gender for it, only as imposing as the throne that was in front of me. I looked as if several dictators from the human history had cast my appearance and ruling room to spread fear through the galaxy. My chest swelled with honour as the hatred of the people that helped me and made this art pieces showed the support and convictions that I needed to convey.

This meeting was going to be fascinating.

#humans are deathworlders #humans are weird #earth is a deathworld #humans are space orcs #humans are space aussies #The bloody imperatrix

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thisisnotthenerd · 7 months

Text

following up on my previous posts about d20 seating: 1 & 2

seat archetypes (all seasons)

as you can imagine, finding a throughline that exactly fits every d20 character that sits in a seat is never fully going to work. i'm not jamming them into an archetype that doesn't fit. these are big general thoughts, just like they were for the intrepid heroes seasons. anyway:

L1: pretty even mix of martial and magic--lots of partial casters. 3/4 d20 paladins. i checked. in game, there's a penchant for big swings and wild decisions. sometimes the payoff of that is insane: ricky's sacrifice in the final battle, fig making arianwen lose her magic, liam's wish, sunny & the bell, maggie giving birth, rick diggins' everything, antiope killing charity in one round, gunnie going ftl with gnosis, conrad's appeal to madam loathing, i could go on. many who sit in this chair have a penchant for party guidance/leadership. they may or may not be an official leader, but many of them are the heart of the party morally and just generally.

Characters:

Fig Faeth, Maggie, Ricky Matsui, Rick Diggins, Liam Wilhelmina, Sunny Biscotto, Gangie Green, Whitney Jammer, Antiope Jones, Terry Talbo, Gunnie Miggles-Rashbax, Dr. Aleksandr Astrovsky, Andhera, Rosamund du Prix, Thane Delissandro Katzon, Troyánn (Karkyn?), Conrad Schintz/Conscience

L2: Martial lean--only a couple of full casters. in game, these characters kick ass in high stakes scenarios (sometimes), or hit rock bottom. there is no in between. sometimes their entire arc is getting knocked down and the getting up from rock bottom in order to kick ass: leiland's whole deal, sofia's chapter 2 arc, timothy . a bunch of tanks. also, a tendency towards older men.

Characters:

Gorgug Thistlespring, Leiland, Sofia Lee, Boomer, Theobald Gumbar, Barbarella Sarsaparilla Gainglynn, Buckster $ Boyd, Katja Cleaver, Riva, Captain K.P Hob, Mother Timothy Goose, A. Tension/Attention

L3: the magic chair. lots of full casters. all 3 d20 wizards sit here. the lowkey chosen one energy persists. think about it. strong narrative investment. several characters who make the hit that takes down the BBEG. either some kind of chaotic gremlin or a parent. oftentimes both simultaneously. actually the split more reflects parent or parent issues. isolated characters who feel ignored in some way taking control of their narratives.

Characters:

Adaine Abernant, Efink Murderdeath, Kingston Brown, Agnes, Jet Rocks, Saccharina Frostwhip, Cheese, Daisy D'umpstaire, K | Dream, Penny Luckstone, Megan Mirror, Norman "Skip" Takamori, Squing, Lady Chirp Featherfowl, Pinocchio, Bishop Raphaniel Charlock, Princess Foehammer, Hunch Curio/Curiosity

R3: slight magic lean. it's the bard chair. 5 of them, to be exact. a lot of charismatic characters sit in this seat. if they're not charm-based, they go the complete opposite direction. not friendly, surprisingly violent, quite abrasive at times. learning to really understand other people and move past your perception of your own needs by contrast. this can go either direction: you can have a fully self-interested character like margaret or you can have danielle barkstock's insane selflessness.

Characters:

Fabian Seacaster, Sokhbarr, Misty Moore, TI-83, Ruby Rocks, Myrtle (the Bitch), Iga Lisowski, Rowan Berry, Vicar Ian Prescott, Sam Black, Danielle Barkstock, Tuti IV, Margaret Encino, Wetzel, Lord Squak Airavis, Puss in Boots | PIB, Karna Solara, Gertrude, Imelda Pulse/Impulse

R2: Split of martial & magic. it's high WIS or no WIS, people. trying to do better than you did before in various ways: kristen's religious crisis, kugrash's atonement, cody's whole deal, gerard's whole deal, dan fucks' revolution, rue coming out, jack's whole deal. there's a very funny split that i've found here; the ladies who sit here have a lot of power and use it to devastating effect. examples: kristen making a god and naming an old god, ostentatia's commune & divine intervention, lilith's everything, sidney taking a vercadian out in one shot. the men? they either hit rock bottom during the season or start there and work upward. the only exception i can think of is bean. and the nbs, rue and lars, are just fabulous.

Characters:

Kristen Applebees, Lilith, Kugrash, Bean, Amethar Rocks, Jack Brakkow, Cody Walsh, Lars Vandenchomp, Ostentatia Wallace, Sundry Sidney, Delloso de la Rue, Gerard of Greenleigh, Colin Provolone, Dan Fucks/Desire

R1: the rogue chair. it's more than R3's bards, with six rogues. no multiclasses. it's the rogue chair. otherwise, a bunch of rangers and sorcerers. this chair is for the plothounds. they're searching it out and making connections, or they're making big magic swings and connecting themselves to gods. they tend to put the detectives here. everyone here is going to make the dm's job easier by idk, communing with a death god (2 nickels for this seat), or going off on their own to find clues to a greater mystery.

Characters:

Riz Gukgak, Markus St. Vincent, Pete Conlan, Car-Go Jones, Lapin Cadbury, Cumulous Rocks, Marcid the Typhoon, Sylvester Cross, Evan Kelmp, Sam Nightingale, Seven, Big Barry Syx, May Wong, BINX Choppley, Ylfa Snorgelsson, Lady Amangeaux Epiceé du Peche, Twyla, The Fix/Hyperfixation

and that's all for this installment of thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats. feel free to tell me what you think, whether you agree or disagree. as always, the spreadsheet can be found here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1g7skmX8WuPRsjvU1K0lAjVf4rNVnuuarW3Zb87A5hx0/edit?usp=sharing

@perksofbeingalittletwat you inspired this with your comment on the last seating chart, so thank you for that.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 meta #dimension 20 spoilers #thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats #d20 #d20 spoilers #d20 meta #dimension 20 statistics

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