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honeygrahambitch · 7 months

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I do have a thing for paternal Will tonight, I know but bear with me for this one.

Will is married since before season 1, it doesn't matter who she is, she dies after the kid turns two. Somewhere around the time Will is freed from the hospital. Great, his wife dies and he is left with a child to raise on his own.

Hannibal wouldn't take this kid away from him. He just can't. He sees them together and he realizes that this is something he cannot interfere with. However what he can do to still be present in Will life is to help him raise the kid.

Will is pretty spiteful after he leaves the hospital, and very much petty especially to Hannibal. Now add the sleepless nights and constant stress and overthinking of being a single father. His brain is full time thinking about his own demons coming to surface, being a good father and doing something about Hannibal (trapping him? Tho this slowly changes).

He genuinely enjoys playing with his kid and reading him stories or walking with him in the forest and teaching him about leaves and bugs and animals and especially about fish.

However, after the first weeks of being a single parent, Will wants is to take a 3 hour nap. Nothing more. It would be a luxury considering he has to cook and he has to watch his kid constantly.

He vents about it during one of his therapy sessions. He vents about being tired and feeling incapable of being a good parent. The heavy bags under his eyes reflect his feelings.

That's when Hannibal offers to watch his kid for a few hours so he can get some sleep. Will refuses, he can't trust Hannibal with a toddler. He has no experience. He is dangerous.

Hannibal tells him that a few hours should not be a problem. And he can cook too, Will doesn't have to worry. He promises he doesn't eat children and especially something that was conceived by Will. Will is skeptical but in the end he gives in. He needs some sleep if he wants to be able to work and be a good father.

He drops his kid at Hannibal's place and goes to sleep. What he did not expect was that his 3 hour nap turned into an 8 hour nap. It's almost midnight when he drives to Baltimore. He is desperate. Hannibal doesn't even pick up his phone.

When he starts knocking at his door he is debating breaking it down whatsoever. He regrets every choice he had ever taken. When Hannibal opens the door and Will wants to start talking, Hannibal covers his mouth instantly and gestures to him to be quiet.

"He fell asleep a while ago." Hannibal whispers. "Turned my phone off so he wouldn't wake up. Didn't expect that he would want three bedtime stories. But he said you always tell him three stories. I could not disappoint."

"I don't tell him three stories" Will whispers amused, now that he knows his kid is safe.

"At least we know he got your manipulation skills, then." Hannibal replies as he walks with Will to the living room where his toddler is sleeping soundly, wrapped in a blanket.

"We had dinner. And I also cooked for you for tomorrow."

"You shouldn't have." Will says as guilt starts creeping up on him. "I abused of your free time. I couldn't wake up." He explains as they walk into the kitchen.

"Will, you needed the sleep and I can assure you, my time was not abused off. Your kid is special."

"That's what all parents want to hear." Will says and laughs. "Does the fact that a psychiatrist says that make it a bad thing?"

"Being special? No. He must take it from his father."

"Oh, please, hopefully he doesn't."

"I disagree. Don't forget it's a matter of genes and environment. And they don't look too bad."

"Yeah, his dead has serial killer tendencies and his babysitter is a serial killer who cooks people as a hobby. We nailed the environment part, Hannibal."

They both laugh.

From then on Will is more open towards letting Hannibal babysit his kid. They are almost like a little family. Not only is it convenient for Will's time management but his kid also loves spending time with Hannibal.

Will finally reaches a certain sense of stability he has long waited for.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series

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rosesnbooks · 1 year

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Astrology observations #3

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

-i think it is not difficult to spot someone with scorpio placements/8th house in the big 6 (not that much in the sun tho). their energy appears darker, even when they have more "light-hearted" placements in the chart.

-pisces and leo can get along pretty well, the leo can get pisces out of their shell, and pisces can help them to relax and embrace their strong emotions

-people with scorpio+libra placements are irrestistible to others. they are charming, beautiful and mysterious.

-virgos have a way with words, they are very gifted and super smart. writing down their thoughts and feelings (bonus points if they use other creative outlets to do so) is so helpful for their mental health

-gemini placements can notice someone fake really quickly. i've noticed the same for pisces. geminis tend to really analyze these people, while pisces listen to their gut that is rarely wrong. i know it may sound ironic since many people state geminis are fake, but i disagree with them

-as they get older, sagittarius moons become more interested in spirituality and learning about other cultures; even when these themes are irrelevant to them when they're very young

-virgo stelliums love the color green, a lot!

-i have noticed that some people tend to hate a zodiac sign that is their own moon sign (they're often not aware of this, and not familiar with astrology)for example, i know a scorpio sun with leo moon that dislikes leos, and a virgo sun with taurus moon that dislikes taurus people. this might be a stretch tho

-as a gemini rising, i do sometimes feel like there's so many different sides of me i present to the public, but that's mostly because i can only be my true self around the people i like, and i also absorb some behavior from the people i adore (even speech, unintentionally)

-taurus/2nd house mercuries have strong opinions on things, especially those that are very important to them. they also dislike people who are not trustworthy and direct

-taurus and cancer placements love food and cooking. when they cook, they put love into it and they like to prepare meals for people they love. they want to give others the comfort they seek themselves. they dislike cooking for people who don't appreciate their effort

-mars in leo can be really good with kids. especially if they also have earth placements, they are nurturing, creative and responsible which is the best combo

-venus in virgo/6th house won't enter a relationship with just anyone, they have their standards

-venus in the 11th really do dream about falling in love with their best friend, they wouldn't have it any other way

-a lot of sister signs can get along, but there is something about pisces and virgo that cannot be described (yet i will proceed to try) they have so much understanding for each other and it feels like they complete each other. pisces help them to dream big and accept their emotions (and to be less harsh on themselves), and virgos help pisces to stay firmly on the ground and achieve their goals

-saturn in the 4th house can have very dramatic and difficult experiences with their family. their parents weren't easy to get along with, and they never taught them how to be emotionally vulnerable and mature. they have the pressure to build a family of their own as well, but they struggle with this. however, this doesn't mean that they are doomed, many people can work on themselves and not make their parents' mistakes.

-saturn in the 6th need to be careful not to work too much. especially if they love what they do, they shouldn't spend 24/7 thinking about work, and should start taking care of themselves and nourish their interests/hobbies

-leo moons are said to be creative for a reason. they want to explore so many things and master all of them, or at least reach a level they can be proud of. art can be in their little finger, but they shouldn't be too hard on themselves when they don't reach their own expectations

-capricorn risings have conventionally beautiful characteristics. some also seem authoritative, so people don't want to mess with them and assume they're very serious. also, people often mistake them for scorpios

-uranus in the 1st in one's chart may indicate that this person needs a lot of freedom and they want to have control over everything in their life. they want to be in the spotlight, but they are sometimes scared that people would judge them. they feel different than others and they want to fit in, so that they can achieve their goals. they need to accept their eccentric side and surround themselves with people who appreciate them.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

#astrology #astro observations #rosesnbooks #astrology observations

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etincelleart · 4 months

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I have a lot of weird moods lately, all of it being mixed completely in a chaotic way, but I think it feels nice to figure out some stuff and to think about it o/

I'm thinking a lot about how I experience love in fact, because I always wonder if my affection comes from my desire to get some physical reassurance or just to feel loved because of my own complex family situation. Like even if it takes me time to fully develop crushes or actually fall in love, I always find myself wondering very early in relationships if romantic (or at least romantic coded) stuff could happen between one person or me. And idk I just don't know if that's something pretty ok or not, or if it's just my lack of confidence speaking ? What do I need or want exactly ? Sometimes I feel like my brain is just jumping on people as if I was searching some kind of comfort absolutely, but it's not always something I have control over.

It's confusing, I remember I loved people deeply but it also caused me a lot of pain, and I don't want to go through that again and I felt really free last time I finally felt like I cut off the strings that took me attached to someone too much to the point I would feel bad. It's a real difficult thing to talk or even think about because I now realize love isn't just "we love each other, let's date", there are so much situations, so much nuances, so much needs, so much differences depending of the person(s).

I know I'm demi and super super super super super romantic and also can be super super sexually attracted to someone at some point, it just takes me time, and sometimes it's blurred and confusing, but at the same time I just don't know what to expect or want from a "classic" or "normal" romantic relationship. I want to date yes, but what is it exactly ? How does that work ? How are you supposed to know these codes or norms, how can you be sure you're doing good ?

Sometimes I just wish things could just be like, "we have this strong bond and we both love physical affection, let's just do our thing and decide of what we'd like for us as we go" without just thinking too much, but at the same I'm demi and developing a crush or love can take so much time, and sometimes it's not even a crush it's more but it's not fully romantic either, I can get so lost in all this,,

It feels good to learn and do researches about it tho, because in fact even if I did try and even if I did loved people a lot, I never got into a romantic relationship for real and idk I'm 24 and just wondering how that stuff work. I'm not even pressed by time or anything or what I'm just, really curious and also just trying to understand what could work for me too, or what if I'm just lacking experience and stuff will be clear as I go on, idk

I haven't really thought about all of that for the past few years, mostly focused on uni, and honestly I just felt really good on my own after the chaos of my previous romantic experience. But now after a few years chilling in my corner I admit I start to think about it again, and while I don't actively seek anything or just want it absolutely, I'm just scared of how I would handle things if that does happen again. Especially with all the stuff going on on my side, with family and all

I may be good at art, I'm not that great when it comes to relationships. But I always have been really romantic lmao and it just comes out because I still have this idea of giving a lot to someone. idk when you experience romantic attraction it's just so big and so hard to describe, I just wish I could love myself just as much as I loved someone else in the past

So I've been learning about QPRs, searching and also reading and watching videos, talking about it, and basically I'm learning a lot of stuff about all of the possibilities that exist for relationships. I don't know if my strong love always come from what I experienced at home and I just try to fill the hole, or if I'm just truly like that and love a lot, but either way, no matter when or what happen I just hope things can be smooth, and that I can learn to handle my own insecurities

#just some thoughts about love and attraction and relationships because i admit it's been on my mind a lot lately #qpr #relationship #romantic #love

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saintobio · 2 months

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Omg ok ok hello! I had this huge rant in my head about sy and sn so pls feel free to ignore it, but I love your writing so much and it gives me some STRONG FEELINGS. First of all it surprised me that I like the way you write y/n cuz she doesn't become a "bitch" after the whole deal with Gojo and have some elaborate revenge plan, but she is also not a goody two shoes (even if she stayed with Gojo earlier but she had a lot of external pressure to stay in the marriage). Not that those tropes are necessarily bad but it's just more realistic this way. She's just a person who has been deeply hurt and is trying to do right by others. Even if she has made big mistakes, she still wants to make up for them cuz she's not completely in the right either. Also getting bashed by everyone for trying to make amends/ not following their advice regarding you own life; while very triggering for me (lol) is also just such a natural reaction. Not right, just natural. When things get out of people's hands and they want to blame someone for it, they often go for the one who is actually trying and won't retaliate if for nothing than to just keep the peace. Also wanting people to understand your side of the situation yet feeling undeserving of it at the same time because of your mistakes is UGHHH I feel like you do that so well! It's amazing but genuinely heartbreaking to see how far Satoru has come as a person too. Also when he thinks about how he wants to be a better person for Akemi IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL... cuz WHY COULDN'T HE BE LIKE THAT FOR US!!! At the same time we have moved on without him, so if we are allowed that luxury then why isn't he? It's just so ANGSTY AND SO SO GOOD! Because we love Satoru we always will but he had a chance and he fricked it over terribly! So it would be idiotic to go back to him but at the same time the heart yearns for him. This is a side tangent but whenever any character says "this is not like you", "you have changed, this isn't how you'd act" makes me so MAD lol (maybe bc I am triggered?) But these guys WATCHED MY GIRL GO THROUGH SOME HORRIFIC SHIT AND STILL EXPECT HER TO NOT BE PERMANANTLY AND IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED???!! ;-;; IDK what they want from her oof >.< I do think Akemi is a shitty friend but I can't bring myself to hate her completely. Seeing them together is so ANGER INDUCING AAAAA (and her wanting a family with him is fine BUT THIS EARLY?!JUST AFTER ADMITTING YOU FEEL "SORRY" FOR BETRAYING US?! IT MAKES ME WANNA HURL HER TRHOUGH CONCRETE) but at the same time Satoru and Akemi both deserve someone who can love them. It feels hypocritical to be angry when we ourselves told him to move on and find someone who can love him the way he deserves. It's just very very shitty it had to be them. Sera is also such an interesting character. She has a lot of traits that I admire a lot. Her resourcefulness and complete and utter pride/confidence and being unashamed to ask for things/ stand up for herself (even when she is wrong) is something I wish I had sometimes. Still wanna stick her head through a toilet tho and yet when a person who slept with a married man can see the bloody violation of girls' code that is sleeping with your bff's EX HUSBAND oh BOY you should KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I have no strong feelings for Toji (cuz I don't like him much anyways but that's just personal bias XD )but I do think his anger and frustration is well founded especially since he runs over whenever the reader needs him. He's so supportive and invested and honestly he deserves someone who can give that back to him. It's kinda sad but then again I don't like him much to begin with lol.

OH AND THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS SOOOOO PAINFUL. To always be the second choice even for YOUR SON OHHH MAN I'D RATHER YOU PUT A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ;-;

All in all I hate how much I love this series and love to hate these characters and take out my repressed anger on them cuz I can't do that irl. This series is my Roman Empire lol. It's so painful, yet so beautiful and it makes you FEEL so many things and yet hold out hope for things to become better. I love this, love you and your writing- ok mwah bye bye (and thank you if you read this rant put together by my post nap, barely coherent brain) I have so much more that I want to say. I can write essays about this series and how it uses so many technically "cliche" tropes but it is anything but cliche . Truly some of the best angst I have read like ever!

oh wow !! i don’t even know what to say, this feels like such a comprehensive review of the sy series sdksks but i think many readers could definitely relate with some of ur points here :D this is such a nice perspective to read, thank you so much for sharing and tysm for reading sn/sy aaaaa i’m happy u enjoy the angst as much as i do <3

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

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masezace · 9 months

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little off topic for my blog, but i started watching a new show since a friend mentioned it was good and i'd heard positive things about it, so i just wanted to talk about it a little bit (probably never again after this since this isn't a fandom blog, but it's the only one i have rn so idc it's going here)

the show is Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous, and just going on looks alone, despite my love for dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park franchise i never would have considered it. it appears to be very much for kids, and as i'm in my late twenties now i'm not particularly interested in especially kiddy media. however a friend my age enjoyed it and mentioned it has a canon lgbtq+ couple in it among the main characters, so of course i just had to watch it. i had already been hearing that despite its initial appearance and premise, it was surprisingly good for a kids' show, so i had already been curious, but i was even more keen after knowing there were queer characters, and not even the adults, the kids themselves (in a kid's show?!! what a time to be alive), so i finally sat down and watched it.

[spoiler warning, both minor and major, for the rest of this post btw, so continue reading at your own risk if you haven't seen it yet/are still watching]

the show overall

okay so firstly, i am coming at all of this from the perspective of a writer, so my observations are from a technical standpoint more so than just as a fan of the show. and honestly, it really is a well-written show as a whole. is it geared towards kids? definitely. there are plenty of jokes/gags in it that just don't appeal to me as an adult, but beyond that, there was plenty to appreciate as an adult.

the writing is actually phenomenal? there were several points in the series where i just sat back and mulled over the way a scene went, what the thought process behind writing it was like, how well it was executed, and how important it was to the characters and overall plot.

the suspense is spot on, nothing gets dragged out too long, and i will admit there have been a few scenes throughout that actually got me; i jumped! it's actually scarier than i expected a kid show to be, but i'm so glad they went where they did because it really elevated the experience.

the pacing overall is very good, adequately engaging for kids' short attention spans (and us adhd adults 🥲) but not too short either to a point where things felt abrupt or unfinished. plot arcs are well developed and tied up nicely. also, as a bit of a dinosaur nerd, the array of dinosaurs in the show is super broad and satisfying! very fun stuff.

character element

imo the real gem of this show is the character development. honestly it's just *chefs kiss*

the characters grow and change so much and so realistically over the course of the show, it's honestly so much better and more satisfying than the character growth in most adult fiction/media recently.

the growth in ben (who btw was def my favorite character by the end of s1) and kenji in particular were my favorites and, in my personal opinion, the most interesting. the way ben started out anxious, cowardly, and rule abiding to a fault, then grew into a brave, confident, adventurous little pyromaniac gremlin, then had that stint later in the series where he regressed a bit-questioning himself-until eventually ultimately striking a great balance and really coming into himself was just... peak character writing.

kenji started out overconfident, lazy, and overly concerned with money/status. but that arrogant overconfidence and laziness slowly turned into responsibility, and a desire to protect his found family, and the realization that it's the people in your life that really matter most.

honestly what i mentioned only scratches the surface in terms of those two characters, there's certainly more that can be said about them (as well as all the others) but i'm not really in the mood for a deep dive character analysis atm. just trust me tho when i say these characters are so well done and each one of them have arcs that are super satisfying to watch play out.

queer representation

and as for the queer couple? yasmina and sammy are PERFECT. it was so beautiful watching their relationship grow from one-sided to mutual friendship, to loyal devotion, then to love. they were set up incredibly well and incredibly naturally. i have like, no complaints when it comes to them. i don't even know if there's anything i can say that would add to things, they were just a really awesome couple to watch become canon, they're the beautiful and painfully needed representation we all beg for in tv and movies.

shipping, chemistry, and intent

but oh goodness... probably my only real complaint about the entire show would be how benji (ben x kenji) and kenji x brooklyn (kenlyn? brookji? idk and idrc) were handled. because for all that this show did SO much beautifully right, they really screwed the pooch here, sadly.

i'm gonna start by saying that the writing in this show, as with most, is deliberate. what i mean by this is that despite having no clue who it would be because my friend thankfully did not even spoil me as far as the genders of the queer couple, i clocked yas and sammy as the would-be queer couple as early as season one (actually it was between them and benji, but more on that later). i could already see the chemistry, because it was deliberately written in.

shipping is subjective. anyone can ship any character, and in most cases it's pretty easy to see how there could be (romantic) chemistry between fan pairings based on their personalities, their arcs, etc. and that's okay! ships don't even have to have any canon support to be valid, because shipping is for the fandom, and it's for fun (i have a few rarepairs and crack ships across different media that i just love).

but onscreen/written romantic chemistry is a lot less subjective (to clarify, it is subjective whether or not the chemistry is good, but it's not subjective about whether or not it exists). there are literally scenes written with the sole purpose of building the romantic tension and/or chemistry between planned couples (some of which even have absolutely zero plot relevance, which usually is not advised tbh, and most of which are the cliches/tropes you see in literally any romance ever written, some are just disguised a little better than others. but make no mistake, it's all the same set of cliches. there is nothing new under the sun), as well as intentional, key moments within scenes that have other purposes. they are essential to establish romantic pairings.

and typically, the foundations for these couples are laid VERY early on. always within the first or second season (well, at least they are when the writer actually knows what they're doing and has at least a rough plan/outline for the entire series & characters. this is usually a large part of what separates the good chemistry from the poor chemistry. an author who knows who the couples are going to be and has a plan from the beginning to build them up is going to be more successful in creating a believable relationship with good chemistry. one who does not plan, or makes last minute plans will almost certainly fail, and the couple is just going to suck). when the set of characters you're working with are going to stay the same for most or all of the story, you start immediately.

i don't mean to toot my own horn, because i think it's because i'm a writer so i just pick up on narrative patterns very easily, and pretty much always clock the planned couples within the first few episodes of any series, and by the end i am right like 9 times out of 10.

that being said, do you know whose deliberately written chemistry i also clocked in jwcc? ben and kenji's.

kenji and... brooklyn?

no offense to people who like/enjoy kenji and brooklyn, you are free to love them, but the way their romance was written is... quite possibly the weakest point of the show. it felt like they were just trying to appease the upsetto heteros in charge, because there was definitely another het pairing that had a lot more potential than kenji and brooklyn (hello darius x brooklyn aka darilyn, you would have actually made sense because your relationship had amazing buildup and multiple standout scenes from s1 on. dgmw, i love that we got a m/f strong, supportive, purely platonic friendship out of them, i live for those and we really need more of them. but we could have had that with kenji and brooklyn, or darius and sammy, or ben and yas, literally any other pair instead).

kenji and brooklyn as a couple came out of absolutely nowhere. i honestly think they decided to shove them together last minute, and had no actual plan for them until they were working on s4. because their development barely started at the VERY end of s3 (the abruptness of him caring about her being held hostage so much more than literally anyone else in their group despite them having like zero buildup to that point gave me whiplash), but honestly didn't really even become "meaningful" development until s4, over halfway through the series. the two spend the first 3 seasons basically not particularly gaf about each other individually, only as part of the whole group and on an equal level with everyone else. they otherwise have no deliberate narrative foundation. it just starts in s4 with no prior hinting. which makes their development rocky and difficult to believe. the funny thing is their characters literally have dialogue (in s4) trying to draw comparisons/parallels between them to say that they especially have a lot in common and like??? no? they really don't? not any more so than any other two kids in the group. their relationship just, really falls flat.

it was disappointing to see it take such a massive spotlight in the series for almost all of seasons 4 and 5, overshadowing the friendships that have been the focus of the show and should have remained so, to the point where at times it just felt like i was watching some stereotypical het highschool romance. genuinely, it made s4 & 5 more of a drag to get through. yasammy and ben and yas' growing bond (which by the way was so sweet, it had the strongest queer solidarity vibes good lord, i sure wonder why yas chose ben out of everyone to come out to first, hmmm) were some of the few things that kept me invested, otherwise i would have dropped it if it had leaned much farther into becoming the kenlyn show than it already was. especially when it was that pair so much of the focus was given to, even though we had so readily and perfectly available, the pair that could have, should have been: benji. which finally brings me to:

ben and kenji

benji's foundation was laid in s1. their interactions, the situations they found themselves in, were deliberate (on the writers' part). i'm even gonna go out on a limb here and say the pairings were fully established in s1e3, even with parallels between yasammy and benji (sammy clinging to yas and ben clinging to kenji throughout the episode), and darilyn gets the beginning of their development too.

even though they bicker a lot in the beginning, they clearly care about each other? kenji protects/helps ben multiple times, and there are definitely some looks ben gives kenji at times. at the end of s1, the one who seems the most deeply effected over ben's "death," other than darius (understandably since he's the one who failed to save him), was kenji! immediately after it happens, we get two close up shots, darius and brooklyn then yasmina and sammy. after which, we go back to the whole group with kenji in center frame, the focus is intentionally on him. it is only kenji who drops to his knees at the loss, and then we get a close up of just kenji. he was saved for last, and he was alone in frame (tbf bumpy was in frame too, but i'm talking humans here), which implies his feelings are especially important in this moment. that is the reason for solo close ups.

after ben's "death," kenji takes to always wearing ben's fanny pack, and up until bumpy--who ben cares VERY much about--got separated from them, kenji was the one who (however briefly) took over her care, ensuring she got off the monorail with them, and he's extremely distraught, more than pretty much all of them, when they can't find her, and he's last to leave when they decide to accept that ben's gone. even when they do leave, he's distant and distracted and his mind is clearly still on ben.

other than darius, kenji is the only one (if i'm remembering correctly) to mention ben/say his name after they lost him, upset because he was actually trying not to think about him. he has clearly thought about ben, probably a lot, because it's hard not to be reminded constantly when you wear something that belonged to a deceased loved one. and frankly, he appears to be the only one who dwells on him that much.

when ben reappears alive (which btw he found the group again because of kenji's butter knife, hello), the frames literally purposely focus on kenji's reaction. he's the one in the foreground every time they show him and brooklyn in that scene. he is the first one to say ben's name, the first one to go to him and hug him, and the scene takes special care to highlight kenji's strong emotions at ben's reappearance, lingering on his teary face as the focus for a bit even after brooklyn enters the frame to hug ben (because she is not at all an important element in the scene at that moment). just like when ben "died," the way this scene is written and shot HEAVILY suggests that ben holds significant importance to kenji, specifically. because again, the focus here is on kenji and ben almost exclusively, with brooklyn as only an afterthought lol. and quite frankly literally everyone else's reaction to him being alive was pretty lackluster compared to the special attention they gave to kenji on this.

and then in s3 we have the infamous hat scene, where darius and ben are in the limo and ben sees and mentions kenji's sailor hat, looking sad and sounding like... longing?? then directly after we switch to kenji realizing he forgot his hat?? the scene has no real significance tbh other than to draw a connection between ben and kenji. like, it acts as a transition to switch to the pov of the group on the boat, but it was entirely unnecessary? why not just have darius say something about the others and then show them on the boat? if there were no special relationship between ben and kenji, it would have made far more sense if they really wanted it to be ben to say something, that he sees the hat, and sadly says something along the lines of "i hope the others are okay/doing better than we are right now/etc" which implies that the hat made him think of everyone, their whole group. rather than what we got... which very much implies that he was mostly just thinking about kenji 💀 and then kenji thinking about the hat at the same time ben's looking at it and thinking of kenji. like, this is.... a very blatant connection being made by the writing/directing here.

all of that. so many deliberate connections made between ben and kenji, they had a very solid foundation laid for a romance to develop, and by all intents and purposes one already WAS developing according to the show's own subtext. which was why up until s4 obliterated the idea, i was positive the queer couple in the show was either going to be yasammy or benji. it was extremely obvious imo. but as soon we started getting the typical, loud, cliche "we are going to pair off these characters" scenes for kenji and brooklyn, i knew we were getting yasammy and not benji (to be clear, i'm not at all upset about yasammy, they're beautiful and i love how their relationship was done, i wouldn't have had it end any other way for them. but i do personally prefer benji, i just like their personalities and dynamic more. and i feel they had so much potential that got wasted to make way for a far less interesting pairing between kenji and brooklyn. why can't we have 2 queer couples, huh? and if we really needed a minimum of one hetero pairing to appease whoever needed appeasing, darilyn was right there).

but then??? their like entire bond just gets dropped (honestly ben himself gets pretty heavily sidelined for almost all of the last two seasons, which is criminal imo). mostly so that a rushed kenji x brooklyn can be established. like there are still a few small moments here and there in early s4, and one episode in s5 (ep 10), but from early s4 till pretty much the end of the series we hardly see them have any meaningful conversations or interactions, meanwhile literally every other combo in the group does.

it's so weird? why build up benji so deliberately over the course of multiple seasons just to like, fully discard it for a pairing with far less chemistry, even after the chemistry-building scenes they shared, some of which literally had no other purpose than to affirm their connection? even though they were very sparse, the moments benji had were just so blatant (kenji leaps into the rock crevice right onto the back of a saber tooth to save ben?!!?? like he literally was just willing to exchange his life for him like that?? he basically says that he wasn't really thinking, he just did it. so he moved out of what, emotional instinct, that's what we're meant to intuit from that series of events? implying that he specifically has strong emotion and doesn't think things through when it comes to ben? because he doesn't do that kinda stuff for any of the others in the group! even better, this parallels when sammy jumped on the nothosaurus to save yasmina. and then the way benji look at each other after it's over??? hello??? and then how kenji pulls both brooklyn and ben in for that hug a couple minutes later... side eyeing the writers for that choice. they knew what they were doing there and they were evil for it). i just can't see any reason to have dropped them like they were, after all the development they shared for 3 seasons. confounding. biggest disappointment of the series.

i know this probably reads to some as just "wahh, my ship didn't become canon" nonsense. but that's not why i'm bugged. this wasn't just a ship i liked and wanted canon despite no actual narrative support, as most ships tend to be. this ship did have narrative support. there was intent behind many of their scenes together, lingering looks and little things that matter narratively and are always used to signify a stronger/special connection. and it led nowhere, for no good reason. that bothers me. writing that implies and promises something, but never delivers on it. like a person who never finishes their sentences (think Dr McPhee from Night at the Museum). ultimately it's not a HUGE deal or anything, at the end of the day it's just a ship and just a kids' show. but as a writer, it's just irritating to see something like that be done. what can i say 🤷

conclusion

even despite the wasted potential between certain pairings, and even though i do think the first three seasons were superior to the last two, overall i really enjoyed the show, and for what it was, it was really well-made. the overarching focus was of course on found family and friendship before anything else, which i absolutely love, and it was masterfully done. out of 6 kids, all of them had at least one or two meaningful bonding moments one-on-one with another in the group, so every possible combination had their moment to build strong, believable friendships with each other. i'm just so surprised by how good it was as a whole honestly, good enough to binge over the course of a week. i will happily recommend jwcc to anyone willing to give it a watch regardless of age, because i definitely think there's no age limit for a good story, no matter the medium it's told in. :)

#jwcc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #benji jwcc #benji #yasammy #yasammy jwcc #i would say that there's prob an age minimum tho... it's a bit scary so depending on the kid i wouldn't rec it to under 10 years #this is a long post #omg so long i'm sorry #i just have a lot to say #gotta shout into the void #it just be like that sometimes #fair warning this post is literally just me praising the show in the first half n then going absolutely off about benji in the second half #review #tv show review #as always with stuff like this that has any mention of ships it is bound to ruffle some feathers #so let me postface this with the reminder that this is all just MY OPINION #you are free to disagree but i'd rather you don't share your disagreements on my post via reblog/notes #feel free to write up your own show/ship review if you feel so strongly #otherwise if you dislike anything i've said you can just scroll past or block me <3

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kandyzee · 2 months

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I love finding a fellow Debbie appreciator in the shameless fandom because I absolutely hate the unending crap she gets for simply growing up from a traumatised child into an adult who has never been given the space or support to deal with her issues.

Anyways I was wondering what your thoughts were on the Gallagher sibling dynamics? Because my unpopular opinion for years has always been that Ian (and Debbie to an extent) was made in Fiona’s image with dash of forgotten middle child syndrome. He was her first baby and took on a lot of her good and bad characteristics except he has a slightly higher level of emotional intelligence than her and the rest of his siblings. My Roman Empire is wondering what the Fiona-Lip-Ian dynamic was in their early days. That and baby Mickey and Mandy Milkovich

Thanks for asking :pp

sorry this took so long to answer I had like a really hard time knowing what to talk about so this is VERY unorganised hope I answered u still!! Also super long anyway

One of my favourite things about the Gallaghers is how they are all a little bit like fiona. Ian and Debbie the most but in the others too. Debbie is extremely caring. She would do anything for the people she loves, especially franny. She 100% got this from fiona. She grew up watching fiona throw her needs aside for her siblings' time and time again, and I really think she took this to heart. Both fiona and Debbie are willing to do anything for family. They also share this kinda "mean" shell. What I mean by that is that they both can come across as mean when they never really want to do anyone harm. Where as fiona was pushed into the motherly role, debbie wanted to be a mother. To me, this makes her selfishness even more prominent? I'm not sure if that's the right word. Debbie doesn't need to desperately seek recognition for all her hard work in the Fiona has had to.

Ian is determined and an incredibly hard worker. His resilience is something he learned from fiona. Ian is old enough to have watched fiona have to adapt to caring for even more children while being young enough that he wasn't always expected to help. He watched fiona work job after job, sometimes more than one at a time. In the same way Ian found his job with being an EMT, I can see fiona having the same kinda thing she just never found her job, yk? Fiona and Ian are good at taking charge, adapting. Not only this, but they both great at talking to people, VERY charming.

Lip is stubborn. He's self-destructive. Those are some of the more unfortunate traits to get from fiona, but he's also a great problem solver and a natural talent. I don't think this is something he really got from her entirely, but they are obviously similarities. Fiona and Lip are the closest in age so often worked together, they solved problems together. It's a trait they picked up as a team because fiona is older, so I'm assuming it's something that came to her quicker. Fiona was a natural at track. She was amazing working towards these record-breaking goals. Lip is a natural genius (sadly not physically gifted like fiona Poor Guy is losing every fight). They didn't reach their potential, both dropping out. I do think lip actually got his stubbornness from fiona, tho. Lip and fiona share a lot of similarities because they are so close in age.

Carl is very childish and playful. He struggled with knowing what he wanted, like he went through so many phases. He has the same bright smile as fiona but also her indecisiveness. Fiona goes through a few phases, mainly hopping career paths. These are kinda like Carl's many phases. Carl is the 2nd youngest and is the first one I think who really did see fiona as a mum sometimes. I can see Carl always mistakenly calling fiona Mum as a kid. He's outgrown that. I know a lot of people wanna be like, "Carl is the only one who appreciated fiona." I don't think that's true. I think he just appreciates her in a more motherly way(while obviously still knowing fiona is his sister, please don't think in saying Carl things she is his mum or something) Carl disrespects fionas just as much as the others but he also shoes his affection more clearly. Anyway, a bight smiles and phases are what Carl got from fiona.

We don't really get to see Liam because he's so young when the show ends. We do get to see Liam as a leader/manager. Fiona was a great manager for the majority of the time(she had her bad moments). Leadership is something Liam got from fiona. I definitely think Liam is gonna be the most different from his siblings, tho because he isn't growing up with fiona looking after him + no Monica, no Frank. I wish fiona had taken Liam with her because they are such a cute duo but yk.

Talking about fiona/lip and Ian as kids now

I think they all would have been very close as kids. First of course because they are all closest to age. They were discovering things for the first time together.

I think a lot of the reason ian and Lip dont appreciate( IK THE DO I JUST DO NOT THE RIGHT WORD) fiona as much is because they are closer in age the the other 3. They don't value all the help fiona gave them because they were also helping her. They saw all her first mistakes and were the ones to help her learn. They see her less as a guardian/ parental figure and more of the big sister she is. Idk if I'm getting mh going across rn so imma move on.

Lip has always been very smart so j think fiona and Lip were a really strong team as kids. Fiona had the advantage that she was older, a people person and Lip was sort of the brains. Fiona, in her own respect, is smart too.

Ian was the baby for a while. He was the one Lip and fiona were working to protect, and I think he got typical little brother treatment. Brother bullying from Lip and smothering love and teasing from fiona. Where as Lip was a real team with fiona a lot of the time Ian was just learning from them. I think this is why he's more emotionally intelligent than them both while having some of their better traits. When Debbie is born, he stops being the baby and starts to get pushed into the independent forgotten middle child role we see him as.

Lip and fiona are a partnership, but lip and Ian are best friends. They all love each other, but lip and Ian are just closer. This pushes fiona away and makes her cling more to the caretaker role. Ian and Lip are closer in age they go to school together, share a room. Fiona is sometimes left out from actual childish sibling bonding. I think she would have been ecstatic when Debbie is born because of this. The boys stick together and now she has a sister to stick with too.

Some random head cannons I have of them as kids

Ian and goes through a coping phase and is always mimicking fi and lip.

Fiona is always using cheesy and sweet nicknames for Ian, like sweet face bit it gets less when Debbie is born. The pet names mean a surprising amount to ian

Lip was always arguing that he should take care of the money but fi doesn't let him.

They come up with the squirrel fund after a school project/something one of them learns in school but it gets more serious when Debbie is born.

Lip gets fiona a dvd player for her 12 birthday and ir sparks her love for movie nights.

A little about the milkovichs now.

Mickey and mandy were also close as kids because of the only Yr age difference, but they drifted. Mickey will always try to look after mandy and protect her, but they grow up, and mandy realises mickey can't always save her. Mickey isn't super strong.

Mickey has to start hiding who is his and that puts a strain on their relationship. Mickey is just another gross boy now instead of her super strong kind brother.

Baby mandy and mickey were always together , they have 1000 inside jokes ans I see them as the kind of siblings who tell people their twins and have their own language. It's hard for them to make other friends but they have eachother.

Mandy will sneak into mickeys room when she's scared, and that's one of the only things that last till she's a teen. She still does it during s1. Mickey never sleeps with his door locked so mandy can get in even tho he really wants to. Mandy locked the door behind her and sits on the edge of mickeys bed. Sometimes, she waits for him to wake up, but most of the time, she pushes his leg till he wakes up and lets her climb in beside him. She will hide in his arms, and he holds her till she falls back to sleep. Then, never talk about it. As they get older, mandy stops waking mickey up. She steals a blanket and crashes on the sofa. Mickey keeps it in his room till he's forced to room with svet.

They donr talk about their feelings but they understand eachoth34 the most out of the other siblings. I like to imagine them getting close again after the show

#thats all #i hope this all makes sense #i didnt know what to say #shameless us #answering asks #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #mandy milkovich #fiona gallagher #lip gallagher #carl gallagher #debbie gallagher #liam gallagher #the gallaghers

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

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wibta if I started a different discord chat for my friend group just to exclude one person

I know it sounds bad and that I'm just starting shit but we've all been friends for 10+ years now so it's not something I'm considering lightly. We currently have a private discord server of just the 4 of us that we switched to as opposed to a traditional gc since we all have different phones and its good for having multiple conversations, quality photos and videos, and keeping a clear record of when and where plans are made

Anyway, this isn't a recent problem but the friend (A) has always had a tardiness problem it started with her not being able to wake up early in the morning but even if we have late night/afternoon plans she still can't get dressed and/or finish her makeup on time and causes us to be consistently at least 1 hour late which I was hoping she'd start growing out of after highschool but this isn't the case (we're now all 22+) and is especially frustrating when going out to eat bc by the time we leave all of us are hangry and expected to eat hours earlier. Recently A has started prioritizing other friends of hers which is nbd she can have other friends we all do except she'll drop plans last min with us to go with them which is also annoying bc it's disrespectful for the rest of us to be blown off like that. We're clearly not her priority anymore but she always expects to be ours, plans have to be on her work schedule, on her timeframe, on if she will be tired etc. plus being an afterthought leaves out a friend in the group (B) who had to move out of state with family and now he can't tell if we're making plans behind *his* back and he feels left in the dark when in truth he knows as much as I and the other local friend (C) do

It's to the point we've stopped doing any plans that start before like 2pm because we can't rely on her to be ready but she'll be upset if we don't wait for her while she's still getting ready, esp cuz we usually carpool, which already limits what we want to do together in the first place

However, it was my birthday recently and I'm currently ~2hr drive (no more than 3 with heavy traffic) from A and C, who doesn't have a car and needs to be picked up by A. I really wanted to go to my fav breakfast place and had some other plans for after and I kept emphasizing what time A needed to get here because the place closes early (they only serve breakfast). And at this point no one should be surprised she didn't arrive until after 1pm, after the place was closed, and at that point no one had eaten all day so we had to rush and find somewhere else that'd be open and nearby bc we were all starving and half my plans for the day were gone bc they were based on places we'd go after breakfast that also close in the afternoon (2-5 depending on the place) and since they are my closest friends and dont know my other friends who live closer and I've only known for less than 2 yrs (who I wasn't comfortable to ask for bday presents from yet still) (still got one from 1 even tho I insisted they didn't have to tho lol) they were the only people I made solid birthday plans with this year so it was really heartbreaking to deal with and have everything I was excited for be cancelled since it's hard for me to go out like this on my own w anxiety and busy work schedule too but I scheduled the day off. I was hoping that she would try even just a little bit because it was my birthday the one day I ask for literally anything and we rarely see each other now bc of conflicting work schedules and I DID plan for her to be semi late in secret but I didn't expect her to arrive for breakfast after 12

Anyway that's the whole backstory plus the recent straw on the camel's back but I just want to make a new chat between me, B, and C, to plan virtual movie and game nights bc she never reads the events chat anyway and all our online call plans grind to a halt for hours or days waiting for an answer bc at least C still wants to try and include A even tho her schedule is so busy or she's tired or will prob be late to the call and make us wait for her or cancel or leave early or we debate what game/movie A wants but she doesn't even NEED to be there it's just like.. Minecraft. Or a pirated 90s movie we're streaming or wtvr

I've tried saying like "hey I'm gonna be playing x on Saturday if anyone's free come and join me" but that usually just ends in me gaming alone bc it's so noncommittal the others will catch up on other work they have but really I'm just trying to hang with any of them even if 1 person can't make it at the time we don't always have to only call in a group yk?

A is nice otherwise like she's still my friend just planning anything with her is starting to be like pulling teeth and I still want to keep in touch with her and hear how she's doing from our discord server but stuff like that I just want to start separating her from weekly calls (which are currently more like monthly) bc she's so flakey but I know it's kinda shitty to purposefully leave her out and she'd be upset if she ever found out I was doing that.

I'm also open to advice on how to deal with this situation in general, thus the detail, without causing a huge fight or make anyone pick sides +her tardiness won't be something we can talk through it's something we've worked on for years and recently have just given up and accepted since she's late even to things that are important to her

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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andypantsx3 · 4 months

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Ok Andy this had been on my mind for a while now and I really want to hear your thoughts on this!

So we all know that Shouto is pure husband material, the kinda guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents! But yk all those years of abuse and trauma (our poor bby ;-;) would definitely take a big toll on anyone, right?! So I was reminiscing about the earlier episodes where he is all closed off and cold to everyone, and that really got me thinking... what would dating Shouto REALLY be like.

How much of his behavior in a relationship really be affected by his past? Obviously nobody is perfect and even though our princess man comes close what do you think his shortcomings are as a person/partner? What do you think his toxic traits would be? What could be some of his bad habits? How would he react during an argument? I used to hc that he would be really calm and passive but then I remembered this scene

Ofc us being his partner would change things, but he DOES lash out at times. The police officer hadn't yelled at them, he was just explaining what they did was wrong according to the law (which could be unfair but thats his job) and he straight up called him a slur 💀 (well yk in this society where so many ppl have animal related quirks it probably is a slur? Idk tho). He was sorry later but still. I was so shocked when I internalized the fact that Shouto does infact have quite a temper, even when he's not rude/ aggressive about it. It doesn't make him bad or anything because 9/10 times it's well warranted and I am just a pussy who doesn't handle other's anger well but yk...

WHO WOULD EXPECT A TEMPER FROM THIS LIL FACE?!

I am really wanna take his character and study him under a microscope and I am really interested to see your pov on this. Also don't feel inclined to agree with anything I said if you dont, I asked you precisely cuz I wanted a different way of looking at him from mine.

Btw none of this is to paint him as a bad person or partner because of a few shortcomings or his trauma. We all know he's too precious for that and that would be hypocritical of me especially since I have many of my habits and unhealthy ways of dealing with stuff that I dislike, but I also feel like he has so much angst potential in issues that aren't necessarily rooted in his family but moreso his own personality. Healing is often a "one step forward and three step back journey" and while I hate to watch him struggle, his perseverance gives me a lot of strength. Also obviously people change over the course of time and character development and all that, but we see even after the MASSIVE amounts of character development Bakugo has he still retains a lot of his previous qualities and obviously still struggles with a few things. I wonder if it's similar for Shouto. I wonder what he struggles with 🤔 (idk why I am scared but I don't want ppl to take these dumb sleepy thoughts of mine the wrong way yk lol)

I support my mans rights, his wrongs and everything in between :>

(p.s. I am so sleepy rn I don't even know if any of this is coherent cuz the points are flying all over the place but I hope you get a gist of what I am trying to ask. I love myself some sweet angst when it comes to all my blorbos but when I think of Shouto nothing obvious comes to mind. Also whenever I write even an ask or question like this my respect for writers keeps increasing tenfold! How do you guys write fics at like 4 am and it's still a masterpiece and I can barely string my thoughts together... )

Yes!!! I have so many thoughts about this, particularly as someone who also has daddy issues and a hot temper but actively works to be better as well lol.

I do think for the most part we've really seen Shouto move past who he was in those earlier episodes. That is not to say he still doesn't have those feelings, but he arguably manages them in a more regulated way. He has the temper but now he also has the tools and the perspective to better articulate himself.

I think generally Shouto would work hard to be calm and patient during an argument, but as with any human being, mistakes will be made and tempers will spike. I think during particularly bad arguments he'd get more closed off, like in those earlier episodes, would try to go off by himself so that he doesn't explode with that white-hot rage.

I do think, thankfully, that Shouto's ability to show empathy and compassion even in the middle of what we know are the most emotionally trying times of his life (the fights with Dabi), bodes well for his future ability to communicate and regulate himself on the whole. I do not see him as the kind of man who would yell or break things; I see him as the kind of man who now does everything in his power not to be like that.

And also with a face like that, would we not just let him win any argument anyway?? LOL

#ask andie

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le-trash-prince · 9 months

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OF Episode 6 Thoughts: Top/Mew

I finally got to watch this week’s ep and there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I have too many thoughts so I’m splitting them between posts.

First of all: What a fucking episode. I was either laughing or screaming the entire time. I love this shit so much. Everyone in this group sucks!

Mew's bi momma! 🙌

When Mew said “I want you to meet my parents at the end of the year” and then “But don’t count on us still being together” I was like “What the fuck Mew?” LOL. Like Mew, I know you will probably never understand this, but just because you are not seeing anyone else doesn't mean that you are emotionally committed to this relationship. You keep pulling back and giving mixed signals!

“I think the reason I was fine without a relationship was because I got enough love from family and friends” Mew how about you recognize that you’re demi instead of psychoanalyzing your slutty friends!

Tbh tho, I know it's really hard to come to terms with your own sexuality, especially when it's so different from everyone around you. We try to come up with reasons as to why people are different, rather than being able to accept that these differences can be inherent to who we are as people.

I think this episode showed more than any other just how genuine Top’s feelings for Mew really are. And of course this had to be the episode it all came crashing down.

Like the notebook of drawings he gave him? That was super sweet and thoughtful as a gift—ppl prob expect someone like Top to just throw money at his lovers but instead he put time and effort into his gift. You can’t draw someone like that without really looking at them. There wasn’t anything in that gift that said "fuckboy" or “I’m doing this just so you will sleep with me.”

Felt like there was an intentional parallel between Top kissing Mew’s forehead while he was asleep and Ray kissing Mew on the mouth.

I feel like I need to rewatch to process “Mew and Ray get in a fight” and “Ray gave Mew the audio file and Mew believed him”

When Mew and Top got home, I loved how the change and tension felt tangible. Like something about Mew going into the bedroom by himself and leaving Top in the living room spoke to a barrier between them

Mew pinning Top to the bed did a lot of things for me thanks 👍

“I love the way you sound in bed” honestly some cinematic poetry, I was hollering.

As much as I feel like Top was coerced into sleeping with Boston, what can he even say to defend himself with? “I didn’t want to sleep with him?” Well it sure sounded like you did. “I did it because I thought you lied to me?” Yeah that’s not gonna make Mew understand. Lol. Again, I don't know if Top even knows if he's allowed to not want to have sex with someone.

It’s a hard situation with a lot of grey area! And even tho we kind of knew this was how Mew was gonna find out, it's the worst way for him to find out.

Of course Mew is going to be hurt. This is like the worst outcome for him, and it revealed a lot of his insecurities around his lack of sexual experience. Especially after talking big at the beginning "My senses are always correct and I know everything there is to know about love."

I wonder if he even blamed himself for being bad at sex as to why he didn’t enjoy his first time with Top all that much, rather than it simply being that he might not really get much out of sex at all. It's okay if you don't want sex, Mew, or if you don't enjoy it, or even if it takes time for you to enjoy it!

“I’m not worth enough for you to love only me.” Mew. Mew. *shakes him* First of all, Top thinks Boston is a pile of burnable trash. He does not love that man! Second of all, please don’t tie self worth to romantic love or to ideals of monogamy. It is never going to end well.

Again, "I think the reason I was fine without a relationship is because I got so much love from family and friends." Mew are you being honest with yourself? You even said yourself that the reason you slept with Top was because you were worried about him getting bored with you.

I may have mentioned this before, but I think the reason that "mastermind Mew" was so popular with the fandom at the beginning of the series is because people wanted it to be true, because if Mew had seen this coming, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I don't think it came from "we think Mew is evil or manipulative or whatever," I think we just didn't want to watch a person as naive as Mew get hurt. Because that's what happens the majority of the time in real life. People get hurt.

Sad lonely himbo Top in the bathtub 👍

Overall, I really enjoy watching their relationship. It's very complicated; it's nowhere near as straightforward as a "fuckboy cheats on his virgin boyfriend" plotline could easily be. I don't think they had a solid foundation for their relationship. They enjoy their dates, but there hasn't been a lot of great communication between them, which as I mentioned on a previous post, is very normal, especially for a first or second relationship. And for both of them, I think this is their first real attempt at a relationship, and neither of them know what they're doing.

In the preview, we see a clip of Mew in the bathtub where his expression changes, and it really looks like a symbolic transformation to me. Whether we get revenge era Mew or "let's try this again with more emotional transparency" Mew, I'm here for it.

#only friends the series #only friends #em post #topmew

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rushingheadlong · 2 months

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I’ve anonymized this ask because I actually want to talk about this publicly but I want to respect their desire to not have their name attached to this conversation.

(Usual warnings for length, also CW for discussions of homophobia. Because of how this ask was worded we're going to engage with the possibility of Brian being queer, but there are criticisms about some specific ways the fandom discusses that. If any of that sounds upsetting to you, just skip over this post.)

First, a fairly significant correction: I didn’t say that Harold wasn’t the biggest contributor to “Brian staying in the closet” at all. I’m going to talk about that assumption of queerness later, but this is what I actually said in my tags:

#it's really REALLY clear that at the VERY least his upbringing by Harold impeded Brian's ability to fully explore himself #and his identity/attractions/etc. the way he should have been able to #(tho I don't think Harold was the biggest/only contributor to that but. idk.)

Which I think is fairly self-explanatory but, to break it down more simply, based on all the evidence we have of what Harold was like as a person it seems that he was an extremely traditional patriarch who expected Brian to grow up and fulfill the same role within his own family. We know that they had major clashes over this and from interviews we know that Brian struggled with feeling inadequate as a husband and father specifically because he couldn’t step into the patriarchal role that he felt pressured to fill.

From there, I don’t think it’s unfair to extrapolate out and say that an upbringing that pushed that very traditional view of manhood would likely have also included other “traditional” ideas i.e. misogyny, homophobia, etc. The misogyny is easy to confirm, not just through Brian’s earlier songs (like Son and Daughter) but through later comments on his parents’ marriage that revealed specific ways that Ruth May was absolutely subservient to her husband while he was alive.

The homophobia I don’t think can be “confirmed” in the same way, although I do recall once reading an interview with Brian where he admitted to having to let go of homophobic ideas he used to hold in his youth (though I cannot for the life of me find that interview now, so take that with a grain of salt). But regardless of the extent of homophobia, if it was there I again don’t think it’s unfair to say that that would have impeded any potential experimentation with men at least in Brian’s younger years - I mean for one thing, Brian has already specifically said that he declined the advances from men while on tour even though he didn’t decline when propositioned by women.

If you want to theorize that Brian is some form of queer you can look at him turning down offers from men as possibly a sign of internalized homophobia due to his upbringing. It’s possible that even after Brian unlearned those prejudices with regards to other people, that he couldn’t unlearn them with regards to himself. It’s possible that Brian privately acknowledged his queerness, but felt that acting upon it would be somehow a “worse” betrayal of his marriage than cheating with another woman.

However, it’s also possible that there was no internalized homophobia at play at all and that Brian’s actions and comments (or lack thereof) are driven by concerns about the band, with really nothing to do with Harold at all. We already have Freddie saying, on multiple occasions in both the 70s and 80s, that if he were to be more open about his own sexuality that it would ruin Queen forever. If Brian were also queer it would make sense for him to have the same reservations about saying anything, and those reservations could have been enough to make him hesitant to be with another man at all for fear of rumors spreading.

(ETA: Not to mention, the AIDS crisis could have been a deterrent to try anything as well, especially if he hadn't already by then. That wasn't too uncommon among men who lived through that time.)

There’s also the issue that if Brian were queer, any reservations he had about coming out were likely compounded after Freddie’s death, because there’s simply no way to make that announcement now without Freddie’s name being attached to things whether it should be or not. There would be speculation about whether Brian and Freddie were ever more than “just” friends, speculation about the full extent of Brian’s history with men, speculation about the validity of his marriages to Chrissy and Anita, speculation about Roger and John and if they knew or if they were also queer… The tabloids would have a fucking field day with an announcement like that and it would reverberate throughout Brian’s life, impacting not only himself but his closest friends and family, as well as all his relationships suddenly becoming hyper-scrutinized by people intent on “proving” what is “real” or “not real” about any of them.

Even if you want to believe that that wouldn’t happen and people would only react positively to such an announcement, I need you to step back and consider what sort of comments you consider “supportive” and if that’s actually how they would be received. An entire fandom of RPF shippers crying “I told you so!” and descending on his IG to ask invasive questions isn’t supportive. A world that nitpicks identities to make sure that people are using the “right” ones isn’t supportive. A culture where “jokes” about single-gender schools turning people gay are still prevalent isn’t supportive (and when I am still seeing people defend comments about Freddie’s boarding school playing a role in his own identity, you can’t tell me that people wouldn’t make the same jabs about Brian if they got the chance).

I think it’s safe to say that Harold’s view did have an impact on how Brian explored himself and his identity because we already know for a fact that those views deeply impacted the entirety of his first marriage, to the point that Brian has said that he likely wouldn’t have gotten married to Chrissy at all if it wasn’t for pressure from his father.

(ETA: But I don't think you can safely say that Harold was the biggest/only contributor to how Brian explored his own identity when you consider the overall time period we're talking about, and the complications of both the band and Brian's existing marriage. And with regards to his attraction to women specifically, Brian has already made it clear that that was impacted by the lack of socialization with girls at school, not his father.)

But to engage with your question, if Brian is queer I think it’s far more likely that Brian has stayed in the closet due to concerns about the response, to protect the privacy of himself and those closest to him, and out of respect for Freddie’s own legacy, rather than because of specific views of his father, especially since both of his parents have been dead for decades now.

Now, this isn’t what you asked in your question but I do also want to address the phrasing of “Brian staying in the closet” because I think it’s actually rather worrying that that’s what was taken from my tags.

Is it impossible for Brian to be queer? No, of course not, and to be honest if he did ever come out I wouldn’t actually be surprised. However I am begging this fandom on my hands and knees to remember that Brian has said that he’s straight on multiple occasions.

Here’s him calling himself heterosexual in 1993, shortly after Freddie’s death:

And here’s him saying that he’s not attracted to men a decade later in 2003:

There’s nothing wrong with talking what-ifs but you have to keep in mind what Brian has actually said himself. Even more importantly, you absolutely have to be mindful of what you’re using as “evidence” of queerness because, while it doesn't happen all the time, it is very common in this fandom for that sort of speculation to run straight into stereotyping and, by extension, homophobia.

A man will never be queer simply because he wears jewelry/nail polish/women’s clothing/etc., or because he’s friends with other queer men or wrote songs for them, or because he was unhappy in a heterosexual marriage, or because he’s done drag a few times, or because he’s spoken out about queer rights and history, or because his music resonates with queer people today.

These are all reasons I’ve seen given for why Brian “has” to be queer… but why? Why do you think that wearing things typically worn by women makes a man queer? Why are you so quick to disregard the existence of any femininity in straight cis men? Why do you think that people can’t support the queer community unless they’re queer themselves? Why do you think that your feelings about Brian’s music are any indication of what he actually meant, when it's incredibly common for people to attribute meanings to songs contrary to what the artist intended?

I don’t think that most people who point to these sorts of things as “evidence” of queerness are being consciously, maliciously homophobic but it absolutely is homophobic to reduce these traits down to one-dimensional stereotypes in order to argue that because Brian does XYZ that means he must be queer. I mean, do I really have to break down why it’s problematic to enforce binary gender norms by saying that Brian wearing necklaces is proof of queerness, as if straight men are somehow physically impossible of also wearing necklaces?

There are absolutely more respectful ways to talk about "evidence" of queerness and the OP mentioned in this ask is a great example of that, by using direct words Brian has said specifically about his sexuality, attraction, and relationships to make their point rather than relying on stereotypes about looks or behaviors.

Because if you're going to have these conversations, you have to acknowledge what Brian has actually said. That includes his comments about heterosexuality and attraction to women and, furthermore, acknowledging those comments is not the same as denying any possibility that he's queer.

Brian is an English baby boomer and you cannot separate that from these sorts of discussions. It’s very common for people of his generation to have ideas and identities that are directly at odds with the philosophies of younger generations, and pretending otherwise - or condemning those things for being “wrong” - requires you to completely ignore and rewrite actual queer history in order to do so.

If you look at how people have identified throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, you’ll find a ton of examples of people proudly using seemingly “wrong” labels for themselves. Tom Robinson, author of the song “Glad to Be Gay”, continued to identify specifically as a gay man for years after marrying a woman. Phill Jupitus, a former stand-up comedian, once had an entire 20-minute podcast where he talked about his past sexual encounters with and continuing attractions towards men while identifying the entire time as a straight man and not bisexual. Hell my best friend for over a decade is a queer man married to a woman who still identifies as a lesbian for deeply personal reasons that are unlikely to ever change.

As a queer man myself, I would love to see discussions about this that acknowledge that kind of nuance. I would love to see people approach this conversation by asking why Brian identifies as straight instead of just looking for proof that he’s lying about his identity.

Because if you want to talk about the possibility of Brian being queer, what does it then mean that he chooses to publicly identify as straight instead? Does he claim that label because he doesn’t identify with queerness at all, because he feels obligated to because of his relationships with women, or because he feels those relationships are more representative of who he is?

What does it say about the dynamics among Queen if the others always assumed something, but never said? Or if Brian only told Roger and John after the fact in the 90s? Or if Brian made the choice to never say anything to them either? Disregarding shipping entirely, what would it say about Brian’s friendship with Freddie if he knew the singer was gay but never shared a hint of his own queerness in return?

What does it say - about Brian, the band, the fandom, society - if Brian is indeed making a conscious choice to hide any attraction to men? And we do need to include the fandom here, because while it’s tempting to assume that nothing we do makes it way back to the band that’s really not the case at all. The official Queen discord server has had to make multiple statements not to post about shipping etc. and there were innumerable comments on Brian’s own IG page post-borhap accusing him and Roger of homophobia because of the movie. Discussions of Brian’s relationship to queerness have already reached his sphere of influence, whether we wanted it to or not.

We’re in a time where the prevalence of social media is wearing down the concept of personal privacy and making people feel entitled to information about celebrities that’s none of their business at all. We’ve seen this with Kit Connor being forced to come out after Heartstopper due to accusations of "queerbaiting" and F1nnster delaying coming out due to fears of backlash from not using the “right” label. Or if you want an example from an older generation, when Con O’Neill came out he said he was doing so because he felt ready but there is still rampant speculation in the fandom that part of his reasoning was in response to the queerphobia being leveled at Izzy Hands fans.

Let me repeat that: a queer man explicitly said he was coming out because he felt personally ready to do so, and a wide swath of fans have already made it about themselves and their fandom experiences.

These celebrities are far from being isolated cases. There are countless others who have been forced into making deeply personal decisions based not on what feels right to them, but what will appease the crowds of strangers who watch and follow them.

So, since the original question was about that post on Harold, let's bring it back to that point with one final question from myself:

If Brian is in fact queer, do you think that his long-dead father is really the biggest reason that a world-famous multi-millionaire twice-knighted astrophysicist rockstar may still be choosing to stay in the closet after all this time?

One final note that anyone who engages with this post in bad-faith is being blocked. I have neither the desire nor spoons to argue with anyone who insists that this fandom isn't homophobic or that their homophobia is somehow different because they mean well by it.

#text #long post //#ramblings #brian #I've read over this 9000 times and had my friend review it and I'm still not sure posting is a good idea #at least I can disable reblogs down the road if this turns into a fucking nightmare in my notifs #I want to assume this ask was sent in good-faith which is why I'm answering but... we'll see I guess #ETA: I keep making edits to add more clarifying points and I need to just Stop #idk if I actually answered the question but either you vibe with what I'm trying to say or you don't #I'm not gonna try to make this clearer because I don't think it's actually helping

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boilingcowboy · 2 months

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my post agad head canons:

if these don't make sense or are out of character im sorry lol haven't read the books in a while

-it takes pip and ravi about a year to get where they were before and about two years to make it official to other people

-for everyone else it also takes at least a year if not almost two for pip to restore her relationships with her family and friends, except cara for cara its only about a year

-the hole process of restoring her relationships and why it took that long is mainly cus pip is still pretty cautious about not wanting to raise suspicion

-two years after agad pip cuts her hair (about shoulder length so she can still put it up and out of her face) or rather cara cuts pips hair while they're having a sleepover, its a bit choppy and messy but that's okay (yes this is a hint at the series lol) but also hair has memories and even tho pip knows it's silly but she dose feel a bit lighter

-the first time pip and ravi meet in person its two months after the "hey sarge, remember me ?" text and they agree for ravi to visit pip

-the plan was that they meet up, get food and then go back to pips dorm room to talk about everything they didn't on the phone but the plan kinda goes sideways because both of them end up trying and failing not to cry while sitting in ravis car for an hour after again failing to fully let go of each other after being near each other for the first time in what felt like years

-it takes both of them a while to realise that they can now text, call or see each other if they miss the other person after not being able to but after they realise "oh we are in each others life again like fully" that's when they become the most clingiest bitches to ever exist especially when they start to see each other in person more often

-and when I say clingy I mean CLINGY in like a "somehow they manage to touch each other every 5 fucking seconds" way like they'll be standing next to each other and one of them will loop a finger through the other persons belt loops, bumping into each other while walking, adjusting the other persons clothes/hair, sitting so close their thighs are touching, leaning on each other and that's like only in public it gets worse when it's just the two of them

-they do become less extremely clingy after a few months when they both realise "okay you're not going anywhere, you're not gonna leave me again, at least in the near future" and they feel more comfortable and less anxious (for the most part)

-after pip fully comes back into everyones life again her and cara have a shit ton of sleepovers, both of them sleep better at those sleepovers

-also on that note pip and ravi rarely sleep on different beds, they always end up sharing a bed no matter what cus one of them will wake up during the night and join the other

-the first time ravi stays the weekend at pips he gets one of those blow up mattresses (cus it's like both aren't sure how comfortable the other is and shit and it's all confusing) and they fall asleep talking only for ravi to wake up in the middle of the night to find pip awake (cus one nightmares and two insomnia) and when they notice the other is awake they kinda stare at each other for a sec before pip is like "ah fuck it, can- do you- uh ?" she doesn't even need to finish her sentence

-nightmares!!!! both of them have them and sleeping next to each other helps a lot cus a lot of the time their nightmares are about losing each other so waking up and immediately having that person there definitely helps!!!

-expect that one time ravi got up to get water and while coming back pip woke up from a nightmare and pip still in the nightmare seeing almost nothing but pitch black and a shadow over her punched ravi in the face, they got a night light to turn on whenever one of the got up in the night after that

#pip and ravi #pip and cara #pippa fitz amobi #ravi singh #cara ward #agggtm #a good girls guide to murder #good girl bad blood #as good as dead #holly jackson

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himbo-in-limbo · 8 months

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Kure Rain x s/o Rant! (New season spoilers)

[tw gore n bloody stuff mentioned]

In hype of the new season (that I literally just finished binge watching a couple days ago)

It got me thinking of my mans

That crazy bastard that I love sm Kure Raian

(I'm so fuckin mad about what was supposed to be his big fight when the coup happened)

Anyways anytime I read a fic of Raian x reader it's always the same-ish thing of the reader not fully loving the sheer brutality that Raian is

I can't be the only one that gets excited seeing him covered in blood! Like dawg if I saw him all nice n bloody like that with a sexy smile comin at me all nonchalant

Like "Hey baby~ did you like the bloodbath?" I'm jumping on him and making out right then n there..

I wanna be covered in the same blood ya feel me? (That's TMI probably..)

It's probably bc I'm a fan of gore or something but like you gotta understand that killing is not only his job ITS HIS PASSION

And him being an asshole is also part of it, sure you can try n convince him to not FULLY kill someone but honestly I'd say you have a 1% chance of succeeding...

It'd have to be a solid good reason tho

Not just cuz your his partner...

Even so! Odds are the person he's messing with is a stranger to you 😭 (if your not into him killing random ppl then maybe not be in a relationship with him)

He has few morals...which align with his assassin fams code but he's just a morally grey character

That's what's so hot about him honestly

You can't ever really predict who he'll spare and for what reason...

But you get to see his fine ass just deal with grown ass men like nothing is a treat all in it's own

Hell we don't even know how he'd act in a relationship bc he hardly ever shows interest in anyone like that! He likes scarring people to hell tho

So I'd wager if you "end up with him" expect it to be a big ol situationship...

It's best to not put labels on it bc if you pressure him with that he looks like the type to leave...

And even if you are sick of it! Just tell him up front that he can either make it official or you'll leave!

That might make him realize that he has something genuine with you OR y'all just break it off and you can find yourself a better partner

Bc lets face it 😭 he's....not the best

His familys great tho I bet they'd be all over you

Especially if you're cool with reproducing an heir 💀

If not hey their just shocked he was able to find ANYONE that would "date" him

Like really? Him? Okay...

Raian doesn't strike me as the type to care much if you leave him, tho if you did have a profound impact on him

I think he'd stalk you for a bit...you'd never know he's there btw

He'd totally stalk the hell outta your new partner tho...and if their no good he'll kill em with much thought..

He dose care in his own way :D it's just bat shit crazy

I feel like If Raian did have a canonical partner they'd have to be a bit cooky themselves ya know? 😭

N yeah he might not say much but he dose better expressing his feelings through acts of service or just in general sleeping with you

Bc again we haven't seen him interact with anyone like that or show interest at all!

So odds are him sleeping with people is a rare thing! (Demisexual ass...)

But yeah back to him fighting n stuff I feel like he'd be super happy if his partner was also excited about seeing a real blood bath of a fight

Like yeah probably not the best influence on him like that but asdhsjsnskk

Honestly I wouldn't be able to help it

He's like when ppl are in love with the horror icons

You love ppl like ghost face n Jason! There def not gonna stop doing what they do! N their hella crazy!

That's the vibes Raian gives me...

The only thing that's different is, I feel like the more years you spend with him he WILL calm down by like 10% and he may not go off on ppl randomly like when he was younger but he'd still do it on occasion...

#i ran outta fule to finish this sounding more coherent...#but yea i just want a fic where the reader loves raian being raian #just two crazy blood lust lovers #they never outright encourage it but raian knows his partner loves seeing him dominate weaklings...#kure raian #limbo rants #limbo writes #kengan ashura #tw gore #tw blood mentioned

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mueritos · 8 months

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Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.

Idk anymore

I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.

Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.

and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.

again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.

but also like kill ur idols lol

#muertoresponds #like yea its fun having people u follow and look up to man #does it take a lot of time to be following celebrities #there would be days i would just check up on all my micro celebrities #now i just dont give a fuck #theyre people im people we're people #we're all gonna change and do bad and do good #i dont like holding myself or anyone anymore to these fucked up online standards of looking like good people #idc idc idc #this was def not the answer u prolly wanted but its where im at and thats what i gotta say #have ur micro celebrities if u want but like yea #people r people #and so are u #critiques r valid but u cant hold anyone accountable unless they consent to be held accountable #like being held accountable means u choose to be part of the accountability process #not make a lil 5 min notes app apology and be forgotten about in a week because people find their next target #yadda yadda yadda #these r my thoughts

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cursedvibes · 7 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @voxofthevoid

Thank you! And congratulations to the 2 mil words 🥳

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

228,925

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Jujutsu Kaisen so far. And I published an original fic anonymously. I also have some ideas for Naruto (or more like the Sannin), Houseki no Kuni and Monster fics, but I'm not getting there any time soon.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

People really seem to like the more or less wholesome Itadori family stuff

Call Me A Familiar Stranger (Kenjaku & Yuuji) - I really didn't expect this one to be so popular, since it was essentially just a scrapped idea for another chapter of Chance Encounter.

Chance Encounter (Kenjaku & Yuuji)

Familial Units (Kenjaku & Yuuji, Jin/Kenjaku)

Stitches Across the Eye (Jin/Kenjaku) - my long term project that I will hopefully finish next year...

First Time (Jin/Kenjaku) - My #1 smut fic. It's really surprising to see it this high because it didn't do that well in the beginning, but recently I've been getting a lot of notifications for it.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but it might take weeks 😬 It's always in the back of my head though and especially with the longer ones I feel bad for not responding quickly. Usually, I feel really stupid with the stuff I say in response, but I hope that doesn't shine through. I really appreciate every single one. I have a whole folder of screenshotted comments, bookmark descriptions and tumblr tags, asks and mentions.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh boy, that's a tough pick. I'd say either Midnight Tea or In the Quiet of the Cold because they both end with Jin's corpse rotting on the floor and a deeply traumatized Yuuji.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think First Time is my most wholesome fic so far. Lots of vivid descriptions of Kenjaku's brain, but Jin is actually really happy about how touching his wife's organs can be a bonding experience. It's how he copes with Kaori's temporal death uwu. Even Kenjaku catches some feelings.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. There was that comment recently saying I should tag First Time dead dove, but that was more weird, not hateful. Some people also have some strong emotions about Kenjaku surgically removing Gojo's eye in Familial Units, but they always end in "I didn't read the tags/didn't take them seriously, my bad".

9. Do you write smut?

I try to...it's one of the writing things I struggle with the most. I have a couple of smut WIPs, but most I don't think are good enough to be published.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't read many crossovers either. Just doesn't interest me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I actually got asked just yesterday by someone if they could translate Don't Think About The Past into Spanish. It's a first for me, I feel really honoured.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Depending on the idea I wouldn't be opposed to it tho.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't think I have something like that. There aren't that many ships I'm really crazy about anyway. TenKen and JinKen are definitely my favourite to write about tho.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Feel The Life Unmade. I just don't feel that satisfied about the set-up and the characters I included in there. The topic and time period is really interesting though and I want to write more about the Death Painting experiment, but not here. I decided that I will write a little bit more of chapter 3 until I get to a specific cut-off point (around 1k more words than I already have in my draft of ch3), then throw it on AO3 and incorporate the rest of my ideas in other fics. The first chapter of Haunting Past is how I wanted to end Life Unmade and some other ideas will be included in the WIP I'm currently writing.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Atmosphere I would say, particularly writing unsettling and creepy scenes. I've also been told by people that they really like my characterizations. Recently, someone commented that I manage to write Kenjaku in a way that you feel their old age, but also connection to current society and culture, which made me really happy because that's a balance I try to pay close attention to.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut. And I really mean smut, not sex. I can write sex, but making it hot and appealing is where I struggle. It always feels so hollow and silly when I reread it. Gross, anxiety inducing sex scenes I can do, but making sex sexy is hard for me. Guess that's the reason I have an easier time with MahiKen smut. It's nastier. Action scenes are hard too, but I haven't really encountered many scenarios where I would really need them, so I just don't have much practice in writing them. I also tend to focus more on a character's inner world and actions scenes don't lend themselves well to that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fine I guess? I don't think I ever had to incorporate that in a fic (if we're talking about an exchange of multiple sentences and not just short phrases) and I would only include it if the POV character doesn't understand the language. I'd also only use it if it's a language I am confident I can represent properly. I suffered through a lot of broken German, I know how it is to have supposed native speakers not know basic grammar (or in TV pronunciation...it's one thing to have an accent, but German in American shows/movies is often just unintelligible).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Tanz der Vampire, when I was 14 or 15, but I didn't publish any of it. Wouldn't know where I would've done that anyway. Besides that, JJK is the first fandom I decided to invest a lot of time in to write and publish fanfics for.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Picking Up The Pieces. I threw in a lot of my Heian TenKen hcs and it allowed me to explore a more manipulative side of Tengen. Also, it is very fun to have Kenjaku in such a vulnerable position, that doesn't happen very often.

I don't know 20 fic writers :') (or not well enough to dare to tag them) No pressure to do this or respond of course. Also, if anyone else sees this and wants to do it, feel free to take this as your tag

@hxhhasmysoul @perelka-l @urostakako @kaitakushi @frankenjoly @kenjakusbrainstem

#my stuff

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ae-neon · 1 year

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I am curious of Rhysand father you know. As for someone that leaves his son wing and leave him to be chain during Hybern war, he seem Beron-ish. But i cant describe that there is this warm to him. Especially to his own mate.

If it possible, I would like to read more of hus father. His father seem to have more firm and fierce hold on both Illyria and Hewn City. They march to war under his command. His father also Azriel first emploer. This man must have nurture Az spy skill too.

But, he let his mate bring Rhys to the illyrian ring where I was thinking that rhys should have his basic school done first. He said how his mother taught him how to read by the window in Illyria. So, he dont really receive proper training to be High Lord did he?

And I am curious to know what will his father reaction to Rhys has done to his court. I doubt he will accept Feyre who is stolen bride and introduce as whore to be NC lady.

Hello anon

They don't have names so just to make it simple I will say Father, Mother, Sister.

For my personal belief, when I think of Rhysand's family : I always think Sister was older than him.

For me this makes sense as to why:

His memories with his friends and Mor don't include Sister, usually older siblings are off doing their own thing so he was left to hang out with his friends and his cousin who is the same age as him. That's why Rhys could sneak to Spring and be friends with Tamlin as well.

Maybe during that time Father was preparing Sister to rule.

Rhys was the first to ban wing clipping which means Father didn't do it but we can assume that Sister's wings were not clipped - Father probably wanted Sister to stand out as equal to Illyrian men so she can rule them (rather than make all women free)

It also makes sense of Rhys spending all his time growing up with Mother (an illyrian seamstress, not a noble or a princess) who took charge of his education but Sister is never around in those memories.

Maybe Sister was in the Hewn City with Father, getting a formal education.

In this way Feyre and Rhys can parallel each other. They are the forgotten younger child. It can even explain why he cannot let go of his hate for Nesta - she is just like Sister as the older child who was the focus of the head of the family. Maybe there is jealousy and resentment there

Then we learn that Father split up the bat boys because he worried they are too powerful together. Maybe he thought they (or someone else) would choose to put Rhys on the throne instead of Sister.

He keeps Azriel close and sends Cassian to the Illyrian infantry but maybe he also sends Rhys to Velaris instead of bringing him back to the capital (CoN) and that's why Rhysand feels more connected to Velaris than to the CoN.

Father was 900 when Mother was 18 but from what we know her life seemed to be okay - Father made sure she was not touched or disrespected by Illyrians or High Fae.

Rhys is the opposite. He is like a spoiled child. He is one of those arrogant princes who brings down their whole family name.

He introduces Feyre as his sexual plaything in front of the conservative nobility of the capital of the court. Then next time he visits he has to start hurting people because they don't show her respect?? Now he will expect them to respect his son who is born of the woman he fingered in front of them.

Even when Nesta and Elain are in Illyria - he doesn't stop them from saying bad things about the High Lady's sisters. He doesn't stop Cassian or Nesta from arguing in public. He has sex in the sky.

He cannot even make Keir give him the Veritas simply by asking. He is always threatening the Hewn City and it's people. He neglects the Illyrians to the point that rebellion seems inevitable.

He later gives up control of the Hewn City to Mor even tho she cannot go there?? Then he lets Keir into Velaris even tho Keir already has full control of the CoN

He has no control or respect in his own Court so he hides away in Velaris and only treated them "well" but still the city has slums and brothels.

As another anon pointed out; Velaris has never had to defend itself and relies on the CoN and Illyria. It also sits near the sea to Hybern. It can be very easily attacked and taken even from within the Court.

Rhysand's power cannot hold off enemies, only kill them and if they attacked he would have to kill his own citizens. Which would only lead to more and more people trying to kill him.

Without Amren, Rhys would probably have been usurped by now.

Of course this is me trying to make sense from what we have. The truth is sjm gave us nothing, not even a name, because to her they are just tools to make Rhys sympathetic.

#anon asks #rhysand #acotar worldbuilding #sjm is a bad author #anti rhysand #just in case

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