#look im just saying-

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[cheddertm]

bruh Netflix really put back on Haikyuu but only the first season LIKE BRO I'M PAST THAT POINT OF THE RE-WATCH PUT EM ALL ON COWARD

#haikyuu #look im just saying- #also put the rest of the one piece seasons coward #why the hell did you cut from the war to egghead is beyond me #anyways uhhh the re-watch is going great I love seeing the sillies #and then remembering what the fandom did to them

[civetcider]

#furry fandom #anthro #sorry i heard somebody the other day say that shit n im just tired #brother you can find lots of very creative fursonas and OCs if you looked even a little bit

[pickled-flowers]

Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

#sex positivity is also respecting sex lives that dont look like yours #or lack thereof #and insulting people by saying they dont fuck make you sound stupid <3 #im sorry i just cant take people who use their sex lives as a flex seriously its just not my thing! #like yea having lots of kinky sex is cool but not having sex and not being interested by sex is also cool #one is not better than the other the human experience is just very varied and diverse #its normal you wont understand everyone your brain isnt even made to comprehend how many human there are in the world #but we should all have spaces to navigate our sex lives as we wish even if that means interacting with sex as a subject as little as possibl

[captain-mozzarella]

I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings

In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.

#what im saying is that if one jedi is mad at another #they will serve tea in a normal store bought boring looking teacup and not the wonky colourful child made ones #like they can feel the joy an creativity flow from the cups in the force amd it just makes tea time just so much better #so receiving tea in a store bought cup feels more lifeless (unless its a gift from a friend outside the temple or sth idk) #you know youve made it as a jedi when a youngling gifts you a teacup #yoda has multiple of those vitrine shelves to showcase his gigantic collection #Star Wars #obi wan kenobi #mace windu #shaak ti #plo koon #yoda #jedi council

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

#simon says #i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system #once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable #this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it #because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole #but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole #don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it #also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn #like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that #also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke #my only learning resource is the library sorry about that #also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice #finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say

[im-still-watching-anime]

apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB

apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally

#ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #klapollo #ace attorney incorrect quotes #the last one isn’t even his confidence tbh it’s just a fact #he says it like he doesn’t ALSO want klavier gavin carnally though which he does #alternatively: #apollo at klavier in court: *sweats* he’s so hot and competent #apollo at klavier outside of court: um…hello….you are kind of really nice🥺👉👈 #disgusting #im obsessed with them #preordered the new trilogy of three games i already own today😌 #$60 of my very hard earned money right into that #and i cant even regret it im SO excited #all the extrassssss #PLEASE go look at the aa twitter account to see the art extras btw #they’re SO fun #apollo justice trilogy really being about 75% of my will to live rn

[lesbianshepard]

tag where you're from if you answer and reblog

#m #it's on line or you're wrong #but im pretty sure it's just a northeast usa thing #i felt like i was going insane when i was down south and someone corrected me on my grammar #and they looked at me like i was an idiot when i was like...it's on line #there's like a line and you're ON it #but whenever im home on long island everyone says on line

[theriverbeyond]

the problem with griddlehark is that Gideon desperately wants to be a well used chewtoy but Harrow has carefully put her up on the shelf like she is a limited edition funko pop still in the box

#griddlehark #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #the locked tomb #trb.txt #gideon looks at those barkbox super chewers and says theyre just like me fr #anyway. there is always some bitch in a tomb in these books #have i made this post before probably #in my defense im very eepy

[dimensionzero]

now that he's managed to dodge all his canon event trauma I think pavitr should get a running joke where he's just immune to spider-man luck

#like the spot throws him through a portal during a fight and he just so happens to land in a laundry basket full of blankets or something #and then peter b gets thrown through the same portal and goes flying past to crash-land directly into a dumpster #thats the energy im looking for #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #pavitr prabhakar #after some horrific shit: 'well... at least its not raining!' pavitr says. everyone eyes the sky in apprehension. it stays clear. #'yeah' miles says cautiously. 'i guess this couldnt get any worse.' #it immediately starts to rain

[newttxt]

the best way to luffy’s stomach is through his heart (or something like that)

a four page one piece fancomic in which luffy and law talk about luffy’s stomach

page 1

panel 1: a top view of luffy and law sitting in grass. luffy is leaning back on his hands with his legs outstretched. law sits crosslegged between them. they are both looking down at the hole in luffy’s abdomen, where law has used his devil fruit power to remove his stomach. “whoa! cool!” says luffy, while law hums, “hmm… interesting.”

panel 2: a close-up of law’s hand holding luffy’s stomach in its cube-like container. “it looks surprisingly average,” law says, “for a bottomless pit.”

panel 3: “isn’t it weird?” luffy asks. he is sitting with his back to the viewer, but his smile is still visible as he leans into law’s space. law is still crosslegged, holding the stomach, and he looks vaguely uncomfortable as luffy keeps talking. luffy says, “that thing can make food stop looking like food and start looking like poop! huh. wonder how it does that…”

page 2

panel 1: law looks off to the side, sweating and kinda grouchy. knowing he’ll regret this, he mutters, “i… know how… at least for NORMAL humans.”

panel 2: the back of luffy’s head takes up most of the panel as he demands, “what?! i wanna know too!” law grits his teeth and shouts back, “you’re just gonna fall asleep!” and luffy yells, “nuh-uh!”

panel 3: luffy grins widely, throws his arms out to the side, and flops onto his back in the grass. he’s loudly yelling, “tell me! tell me, traffy!”

page 3

panel 1: law is visible from a low-angle, as if from luffy’s pov on the ground. he sighs, “fine. here’s how it works.”

panel 2: this panel looks similar to the previous, but its slightly darker, with gray bars at the top and bottom, narrowing visibility to show luffy’s eyes are closing. law continues, “the stomach has two main functions.”

panel 3: law is now barely visible through the gap. luffy is almost asleep. law says, “the first, as YOU know, is the storage of food.”

panel 4: the background is completely dark, and law’s words trail off, “the second is—“

page 4

panel 1: a large, top view of luffy lying on his back in the grass. his arms are thrown wide still and his eyes are open. he has just jolted awake, saying, “hmm?” off-screen, law complains, “i don’t know WHY i bothered.”

panel 2: law accuses, “you didn’t listen to a word i said.” luffy sits up, his lips pursed and eyes narrowed because he’s a terrible liar. he says, “sure i did,” dragging out the “sure.”

panel 3: luffy breaks into a grin and proudly declares, “it’s a mystery!” law cuts him off with a “NO,” his speech bubble literally dripping with disdain.

panel 4: the silhouette of luffy and law sitting side by side. law is whapping luffy on the head with a light fist. law says, “idiot…” before bonking him. luffy yells, “hey!” but he is laughing, and a small “heh” shows law is too.

#one piece #luffy #trafalgar law #look im just gonna tag it #lulaw #it doesnt have to be but its what i was thinking when i drew it so. #cw body horror #??? ever so slightly #law-typical gore i suppose #he stuck it back in when luffy dozed off. maybe thats what woke him up #anyway. sometimes ur so close to someone that theyll let u look at their organs for fun! #typically its stomach > heart but for luffy its the other way around #not that he keeps his organs very close to his chest. which is a weird thing to say. what AM i saying anymore

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30. #2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months. #3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly. #OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

[ot3]

glassblowing rules because it's like one of the single most hardcore and impressive processes in the entire art world yet almost everything you make with it looks lame as hell. it's essentially a form of smithing that only produces neglected gift shop tchotchkes.

#DSICLAIMER: i know some blown glass stuff can look very cool and be impressive #i know saying this in the tags wont stop someone inevitably writing me an essay on why im wrong about glass blowing #i just think a lot of what it makes really isnt my style.

[imaybeabear]

Anna Williams did not run through miles of forest nor face off with an infected with literally only a switchblade and sheer desperation all while fucking IN LABOR, then cut her daughter's umbilical cord with her own hands, clean her up, name her, love her, and hold her for hours even as she knew and felt that she was dying, prepared to stab herself with that same switchblade to save her baby, then beg her lifelong friend to take her girl somewhere safe where she could grow up happy and protected only for Marlene to fuckin sacrifice that girl, that baby she swore to her dying friend to take care of, for a shoddy at best chance to save an already irrevocably shattered world. Both the Williams ladies deserved better than that.

#the last of us #tlou #look ive said it before and ill keep saying it. #marlene is an incredibly written and performed character who is truly fascinating #and i hate her! #anna williams #ellie williams #marlene #does marlene have a last name? im bad at names :/ #bea rambles #i just think that anna was up there cheering joel on the whole time

[theloveinc]

mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing

#why was i looking this up on images and ninja mutant turtle inc*st was like the fourth image??? ummmmm ok #anyway it's still happening i just dont like thinking abt what it looks like from far away #i prefer it when its not so......... x shaped? i guess #i like it better when it's more... ankles by ears man is kneeling #IM JUST SAYING #ive gravitated back to my weird toji + kids au lmaooo #cuz i made a cake today and it got me thinking abt it #when will i write something of substance please #caitie blabs

[umblrspectrum]

you'll never guess which movie i finally watched after 2 years of being lazy

#dont you just love it when your artstyle changes like 5 times in the span of a day #i saw emmachen1003 give them the glove type thingys and went “that looks cool. im stealing it” #so uhm. props to them for being awesome and making cool art #anyways that was a fun movie #not gonna say the title here cause i think it messes with searching and i dont wanna do that #that n frame is like the first time i have ever done a decent angle/perspective thing #im so proud of it you don't even know #murder drones #murder drones uzi #murder drones n #serial designation n #murder drones nori #absolute solver #i guess #or is it absolutesolver #whatever #oh yeah uhmm #murder drones episode 7 #murder drones episode 7 spoilers #murder drones spoilers #its been 2 weeks but im gonna give it another day just to be safe #just realized i fucked up the quote and its pissing me off so edited. go fuck yourself