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ghost-proofbaby · 4 months

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thinking about getting hot chocolate and going to look at christmas lights with eddie.

it all would definitely start because you guys have run out of the hot cocoa supplies at home, and eddie will find any excuse to go and get some from your favorite local coffee shop. it just tastes better from there, he always claims (and he says the same thing about you making it for him at home). thinking about the way you both end up with whipped cream mustaches, sweetened upper lips with tongues covered in chocolate as you get back in his van, all bundled up and clinging to your warm cups for a sliver of reprieve from the cold december outside. you’d assume you’re just going to return home, until eddie starts to take a detour in the drive and oh no how did we end up in this fancy neighborhood where everyone has extravagant decorations? oh well!

he knew exactly what he was doing, though. he just wanted to watch you watch the lights. the way your eyes get all wild, the way your grin is so youthful and just brimming with whimsical excitement. the way you get so extraordinarily excited over something that should be mundane after living through 20+ christmases. all these houses do this every year — the two of you make the same detour every single year. it shouldn’t all be so new to you; and yet you always react like it is, drinking it in like it’s the first time you’ve tasted milk chocolate frothing with melted whipped cream and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen shining lights that resemble icicles dripping from rooftops. and the entire time, he’s looking at you like it’s the first time. the first time he’s laid eyes on you, the first time he’s wanted to kiss your lips so badly his own start to ache, the first time he’s ever seen the color green reflected in someone’s iris just right.

every time he takes you, it’s like he’s getting to fall in love with you all over again. he loves it — he loves you.

the only difference as the years go by is the way you look at him, each year with more fondness he didn’t think was possible. for every excited gasp you let out at reindeers made of crystal lights and blow up santas swaying in the unforgiving wind, you’re looking at him with double the warmth, double the love, double the awe.

he hits nearly every mailbox. several cars are nearly victim to a terrible scraping from his van. he swerves all over neighborhood roads just to keep his eyes on you.

“why are you looking at me like that, munson?”

it feels like the first time you’ve ever said his name, too.

“just enjoying the sights,” he’d whisper, smiling so gently and subtly, taking his foot off the gas and letting the van crawl a lil bit slower so you can gaze at the next house a lil longer.

and when you twist up your face, his heart clenches in time with the twitch of your nose.

“the sights? you’re not even looking out your window at the lights-“

and unlike the first time he took you around to see the lights, to begin this new sacred tradition, he kisses you. leans right over his center console, takes your face in his heated palms, and presses his lips to yours till he can’t tell if the caramel drizzle he’s tasting is from your hot cocoa or his. let’s the icy tip of your nose smash against his. let’s your scarf unravel from around your neck as he brings you in closer.

you might always love the christmas likes like they’re something brand new, a sight to behold, a magic to be held, but he’ll always love you like that. and then some.

#don’t mind me just word vomiting about christmas and eddie #i want someone to be so in love with me that they see more magic in my reaction than in the sights #i want someone who makes the holidays feel like holidays again #something warm and something sacred and something so caring it makes your teeth rot #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #i’m just thinkin idk #i just got off my shift from making an insane amount of hot chocolates can you tell

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turtleblogatlast · 17 days

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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rise don suave #rottmnt don suave #I lied I’m back to ramble because I’m just #so bad at keeping my mouth shut #or uh #not typing word vomit #anyway- yeah this is my personal interpretation #I believe Leo was legitimately mesmerized by Don Suave’s powers…in the beginning #but even the series’ creator says it was ‘at least PART of what was going on with Leo’ so #idk it’s something that’s been on my mind and I was wondering if anyone else felt the same??#may delete this later who knowssss #pleaaaase feel free to disagree I just like to talk lol #but yeah sometimes I look around at how much media has LGBTQ+ rep in it now and it honestly makes me emotional??#(we always always ALWAYS could use more but)#we did not have even a crumb of this as kids #but also like most of that rep is new properties #and I just was thinking about what that could mean #idk man idk #once again please don’t take this as facts it is VERY MUCH NOT #man I was looking around for good images to use and found jack all #anyway tho did you know Donnie often has bi colors around him and Leo is often dressed in the colors of the trans flag-#okay anyway back to the caves I go this comic won’t draw itself #I gotta spray myself with water any time I go to type long winded essays because they’re not great for the mental health fr

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thepetesimp · 7 months

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Ok, Ok, I think I need to lay down. Yes, SandRay floored us today. Yes, Khaotung wanted to personally kill me with his acting and First with his huge eyes filled with tears. Yes, whatever the fuck TopMew had going on this episode had me pull my hair in frustration in a good way, because Mew is a hilariously horrible person and Boeing is unhinged. BUT. Listen. BostonNick stole the episode for me. That scene. That fucking scene. Everything that happened before that scene was the perfect set up. Atom setting Boston up. Cheum and co going to his house to shame him and denounce him as their friend. Nick and Dan. Their encounter at Nick's shop. It was all delicious and perfectly executed but it could never prepare me for this. We see Boston looking sad at the distance and Nick coming to him to talk (after he saw Boston's feelings about him through the fucking phone wallpaper pls, I'm not OK). He asks him and Boston is defensive but then Nick insists and Boston, in his need to have someone comfort him FINALLY, says what happened. At first Nick responds by telling him how things are; seems legit, he says, given what you've done. Boston tells him to cut it off but not in his usual way, he's not cruel or rude, he's simply asking to not be shit on rn. Nick listens and apologizes and he means it and I love it.

But Boston feels weird and cannot understand wtf is wrong with him and it's real and I love that he trusted Nick to ask him about it. And Nick's answer is perfect for Boston, because sure, for us, the audience it seems so obvious; of course Boston is doing fucked up shit in his desperation to be loved and accepted, but Boston doesn't know that. No one TOLD him that, no one SHOWED him that.

Boston's answer to that is even better, because he still doesn't understand. And he needs a more valid reason than that.

Nick's answer? Oh, my beautiful nasty little boy. He was so real for it. He needed to gather himself to say it. He needed time to utter those words. "I also did nasty shit to you, Boston" he tells him. "Maybe we belong together" What Boston said next was breathtaking. I love him for that.

He might as well have said "I love you" here. It has the same weight as that phrase. That's why Nick breaks down. That's why he kisses him like that, crying uncontrollably and telling him he missed him too. Because we already knew about Nick's feelings towards Boston. We knew the guy had an obsession turned love towards him. But with Boston it's different. And Nick thought so too before this phrase was uttered, before Boston basically confessed he has feelings for Nick, or more precisely, that Nick is special to Boston. And he proceeds to say it AGAIN, after Nick says it. He says AGAIN how he missed him and he THANKS him for staying by his side with TEARS in his own eyes. They hug while crying together, please, I'm too weak for this. And then they make LOVE. They don't just fuck, they make sweet love to each other while staring at each other's eyes and kissing and being cute and I fucking DIED right there. BostonNick is all I ever wanted and more. I need MORE, please, I can't handle myself. This episode was SO GOOD, I can't DEAL with this.

#BostonNick destroyed me #I had the feeling this scene would be good but I surely wasn't expecting this #Also #Who gave them permission to be so VegasPete coded here? WHO?#Like I know everyone talked about the SandRay NC scene but come on people #THIS is the real shit #Maybe I'll make a separate post comparing the two tomorrow or sth idk #I'm just word vomiting I'm still in shock over what I have witnessed #Lovethemlovethemlovethem #bostonnick #boston only friends #nick only friends #only friends the series

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wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart · 21 days

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I think one of the reasons that kaladin can deal with actively killing as a soldier but not with accidentally (passively) letting someone die as a surgeon is the sense of failure (plus of course the obvious protection aspect and the whole me-vs-them mentality he only really starts to question when Shin joins bridge four, and he starts interacting fairly regularly with a light-eyes he can genuinely respect). dalinar himself said that he "love(s) taking responsibility for things", which is especially clear in the way he still can't quite blame amaram for tien's demise (because he feels like this is his failure, too).

like we can see in the first book that the deaths of the people he swore to protect weigh on him not only because of the dying people per se, but also (and I would argue: especially) because of his FAILURE to keep them alive. he always makes this connection to himself, thinks of their demise in relation to HIS own person and HIS role and HIS failure (cue the whole "stormfather cursed me specifically" thing). like, besides tien and the bridgemen (who we know because they are active current characters), can we truly say much of anything about the people he failed to protect in the past? the only thing we really know is how HE feels about it and how it messed HIM up. but the people themselves??

kaladin just has insane main character syndrome, and everything happening to him (first dark-eyed to have the rank of a light-eyed, one of the only surgebinders, guy able to survive multiple fights with actual shardbearers, etc etc) do the opposite of helping him dissuade the notion. I feel like I lost the plot of my own post. Kal is honorable and a good guy and everything but he is also pretty self-centered? which I actually find really cool because many times people who do objectively good actions are still kind of demonized if they don't do it for the "right" reasons (aka purely 1000% selflessness), but Kal explicitly starts helping the bridgemen not because he actually cares about them but because he needs a reason to not commit suicide. and when he loses bridgemen (especially in the beginning where he barely knows them) he always immediately thinks back to the other people he FAILED to save. he isn't devastated because that person in particular died, he is upset because he is very bad at dealing with his own failures and also terrified that the wretch will use this to lure him back onto the ledge. i mean, he loathes failure so much he was resigned to never see his parents again (who he clearly loves a lot and who he knows would welcome him back with open arms; it's his own shame that he can't confront)

he helps people primarily to try to make up for the failures of the past, an attempt to dissuade the guilt and shame eating him alive 24/7 (which of course never works because guilt is a very unreasonable emotion and as long as he doesn't change his mindset and confronts his own beliefs about himself and the world it will never go away.)

"do the fire sprin create the flames or are they attracted by them?" of course syl was compelled to follow kaladin around. dude keeps actively (even if semi-unconsciously) putting himself into the same role and situation over and over again in the hopes that if he can only succeed one time it will somehow redeem him for his past failures. literally every single thing Kal does and thinks and believes is rooted in the fact that he blames himself for tien's demise. he needs to somehow redeem himself in order to be able to live with himself but at the same time he can never be redeemed because letting tien die is an unforgivable crime and yet he needs to make it up somehow because the wretch is always in the back of his mind and he's actually terrified of it but he is equally scared of actually somehow managing to get over this sense of guilt and failure because wouldn't forgiving himself mean he thinks tien is less important than his own stupid (and, in his mind, deserved) feelings?

that guy is so not over his brother's death it actually isn't funny anymore 💀 please get that dude some fucking therapy 😭😭

#am at words of radiance rn btw #does this even make sense i feel like this is just word vomit lol #idk if this is a hot take #it seems fairly obvious to me tbh #but then jasnah being one of the most caring characters in stormlight and the alethi being horrible seemed pretty self evident to me too #and apparently some ppl still dont get that #(i completely avoid going into the tags in order not to spoil myself so im only going off the comments people leave beneath my posts btw)#also i apologize if i spelled any names wrong i experience stormlight through audio only ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#kaladin stormblessed #stormlight archive #cosmere #brandon sanderson

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spaciebabie · 4 months

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good god i need him bad

#SCREAMS #OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #I KEEP THINKING ABOUT WHAT I DREW AND THEN MORE SCENARIOS SCREAMS #sprigntrap.ouoiuuuiiijh springtrap #I CANT GET OVER THE CLAWS SPRINGTRAP WITH CLAWS OH MY GODD #OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD #MY MIDN IS GONNA BE TORN APART #MONNIE SENT ME THAT POST AND THEN FUCKED ME UP IMMDIATELY K AFTERWARSDS #I STILL CANT STOP THINKING ABT WHAT SHE TOLD ME IT WAS REALLY FUCKWED UP LIKE WHY #WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAAAAAATTT #WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME #im literklakty gona throw up i #YES ITS BEEN DAYS AND IM STILL THINKING ABOUT IT WHAT THE FUCK EVER MAN #springrtap lovongme back???? reaally really fucked up literally why would you say that #NO I SJUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT #NOOOO NONONOO #HJnmnbgjmnnhmhghghgh vomits #spacie spoinks #pls pls pls i nreed to pamper him i need to love on him i need to make him feel the love that i feel towards him and have him #understand what that means #head in hands HEAD IN HANDS

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deviousdayz · 6 months

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I love how eerily Paul’s character is posed to us. Nona, who can recognize anyone, cannot recognize Paul. The absolute horror that had to happen for Paul to be born. The reader cant just be glad that paul exists because of how it happened. I remember reading it and immediately thinking “there’s so much tragedy in this book.” The reader cannot be happy that palademes is finally in a body because, is he? That is not palamedes! Pyrrha BEGGED them not to do this. Because it wouldn’t be both of them together in the way they thought. They’d be an entirely new person, and they’d still never get to see each other again or speak to each other again. Is that winning? There is no more recognizing each other! They aren’t even each other, they’re just someone else. Paul is an uneven exchange of life, and it’s off-putting. Two deaths for one birth.

#idk paul’s existence makes me sad #sorry for the word vomit I didn’t feel like formatting this at all #the locked tomb #tlt #txt post #the locked tomb spoilers

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pickled-flowers · 6 months

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Some of you have never been the friend that No-one listens to and it shows

#hey. makes sure your friends get to finsih their thoughts #make sure theyre heard #it is so obvious when im in a group and someone wants to speak but doesnt get the chance #to see my own friends be the ones speaking over others is heartbreaking #there is a special awareness that comes with being unwanted in a group #its painful to know that if i wasnt so outspoken i too would not be heard #if i didnt look the way i did if i was a little less nice and concilient noone would want me around either #anyways #make sure noone is walking behind on the narrow sidewalk #makes sure everyone gets to express their thoughts and opinion #like idk. people see me as cool most times but thats just not the truth #how many times have i been the cool person until that coolness turns out to be something else entirely?#im not cool i am apathetic #sorry for this word vomit im feeling things rn

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fiendishartist2 · 7 months

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KEEP GAME CONSOLE RUNNING

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #petscop #paul leskowitz #petscop paul #explodes and cries and vomits and rips up the carpet and starts eating drywall #the closer we get to halloween the worse my petscop illness gets #PAAAUUUULLLLLLLL AAUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH #paul cant leave his room and hes ROTTING. trapped in the family's house with no escape from the game. day in day out just playing petscop #bc hes obsessed. he needs to solve the mystery no matter how sick and distressing it becomes. bc hes obsessed #fuck. this part of petscop always fucks me up bc imagine how torturous it is #trapped in a house with ppl you dont like. that holds such horrible memories #you cant sleep bc the game is haunting you. both literally and figuratively #no matter how much it begs you cant turn it off and you cant stop thinking about it and when you sleep-#you see the red buzz of the screen behind your eyelids and the wailing alarm its letting out is unbearable #eventually you just give up and go back to playing the game bc you cannot escape it as long as you keep yourself in this fucking house #um anyways #i feel like when i make these posts i accidentally channel paul for a minute #tw eyestrain

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kenjakunas · 6 months

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sukuna design is from tojishole on twt and kenny design is heavy heavy inspo from purgatorism on twt i think i changed like max three things. also i think it keniaku on here ????? Dont quote me tho sobs

#my art #HEAR ME OUT #kenjakuna sounds crazy in theory but i never stop word vomitting about them on twt aka x #hear me out guys... pleeksies #呪術廻戦 #kenjaku #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #kenjaku x sukuna #kenjakuna #i cant believe im posting this #THIS IS MODERN SORCERER AU WHERE HEIAN ERA PEOPLENARE STUDENTS BTW FOR IT TO MAKE SENSEEE #i might make like my actual own kenny design because i feel bad using other peoples designs for some reason 🥹🥹

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8rujaa · 7 days

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i used to get depressed over the fact that i spent so much money over the years on hobbies that i never dedicated time on. but like now that i’ve gotten medicated and have energy to do things, it’s been so amazing having everything ready for me to go!!!!! :D

#like photography and candle making and crocheting and painting and drawing and art clay making and photography #i said photography twice lmao but recently i’ve been having so much fun with taking my camera with me everywhere #i keep seeing things i want to do and being like OMG i did already buy the materials for this !!!!#even though past me didn’t do the things i wanted current me is still grateful for buying those things and i don’t feel bad about it anymore #:•)#brain vomit

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boyfridged · 1 year

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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.

#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3 #anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline #i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it #and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ #“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him #also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights #i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay #<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea #that this is what bruce thinks #i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger #hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3 #i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit #outbox #jay.zip #jay.txt #dc #jason todd #core texts

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seventh-fantasy · 6 months

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galaxy-brained mlc take of the day: mlc is wuxia, yes and maybeee not exactly? it very much is a wuxia aesthetically, but it's actually - conceptually - xianxia story in the core. (this is different from suggesting that it is a xianxia show.) however xianxia can (or should) be considered a subgenre of wuxia, not its own separate distinct genre despite the idea of 仙 xian being fundamentally at odds with the idea of 侠 xia, because they both stem from the same belief. (as seen in mlc, it works with the conventions of traditional wuxia aka li xiangyi the sigu sect leader, to get to the real bits of xianxia concept aka li lianhua's story.) so, mlc is wuxia through and through, inside out. send tweet 🫡👍

ok wait I can explain

so, this must be premised on the understanding that any discussion of "仙 xian/deities" in this context is only as its abstract idea of living a life distanced, detached from worldly, human woes instead of the possibility of immortality existing in mlcverse. (if you think about the deities in xianxia stories being basically human beings who have cultivated themselves into immortality.)

this is the explanation of xianxia as a wuxia subgenre (古仙武侠) in the baidu article of wuxia genre:

武侠中的侠，是脱胎于墨家“以天下为己任”的使命感；而仙侠的侠，通常是传达着“能力越大，责任也就越大”的朴素精神。侠乃入世，仙为出世，道教阴阳的无情大道（无情指寻求自我的不断体悟，以达精神的成仙，非没有感情之意）与武侠江湖的有情众生，即是矛盾也是循环，象征着太极之道，这也就是为何古仙武侠也属于正统仙侠流派的原因。

rough tl:

the xia of wuxia is born from the mohist ideal of bearing a sense of responsibility for the world

while the xia in xianxia focuses on the idea of "with great power comes great responsibility"

the idea of 侠 xia is secular. the idea of 仙 xian is beyond the secular - it is to pursue a life of suppressing/taming your own emotions (it does not mean to be completely removed of the ability to feel. it's a pursuit of self-realisation that makes one attain the status of a "deity" spiritually.) 仙 xian is then inherently at odds with wuxia jianghu's deep empathy and connection with the secular world, but it's also connected back to it. this is why 古仙武侠 is considered to be a part of the wuxia genre.

the relationship between xian and xia is conflicting because the former is all about distancing yourself from worldly issues while the latter necessitates an active effort to do something about them.

but it also means that both wuxia and xianxia acknowledge this weight of human emotions and connection to the world. it's just their respective responses and the outcomes they want that they differ in. what is the ideal person? wuxia says it's to be someone who can propagate and execute the ideal of doing something about this weight of your connection to the world, while xianxia says it's to learn to be at peace with that connection, and it's ok to not do anything about it actually - which might even be harder than trying to do something. (and focusing on your own cultivation can be a good thing for the world, in fact.)

with this, I hope it sounds less absurd that I'm connecting mlc's story to the concept of xianxia. lxy's life was a traditional wuxia archetype. (I've already harped on enough about how he fits into the quintessential mohist model of a xia leader.) what happens after, aka his journey as li lianhua, is the real story of mlc. it's a breakdown of that quintessential wuxia hero. it is a story in which the main conflict faced by the protagonist is to struggle with all the worldly woes including his own past and the cases' victims, in defense of the serenity he has found in the past 9 years. it is a natural battle to fight for someone such as llh because as long as you're still human, you will face the implications of human connections and the innate feeling of compassion and urge to do something about it (part of this, I guess, manifests physically in bicha breaking him down and the resistance to cure).

and relating that to an excerpt from an article discussing xianxia in relation to wuxia:

武侠剧的精神内核也是仙侠剧的精神内核，而“仙”实际上是实现新形式的“侠”的手段，由此扩展了“侠”的深度和其实施的时空范围。武侠之中的侠义精神，可以强调其自在，更强调其是自为的，前者是需要逐渐成长和觉醒的。然而对于高于人的仙而言，作为上位者的“侠”之精神，则应该是内在自觉且自为的。

rough tl:

the spirit of wuxia dramas should also be the spirit of xianxia dramas. xian should in fact be another way to bring out and explore the idea of xia.

the spirit of xia in wuxia can be an emphasis on the spirit of freedom, and even more so, the idea of agency and autonomy. the former is gained through growth and awareness. but for xian aka people who occupy a realm above the people on the ground, the xia spirit they embody should manifest in their inner awakening and agency.

it goes without saying that nobody is a deity in this show, and never will be. only in ep 40.5 it came so close to possessing that otherworldly, surreal edge, but that's all to it. deities do not exist in the mlcverse.

but but. it's interesting to point out in the ep 3 flashback when lxy walked through town in the aftermath of the sigu sect vs jym battle, commoners were heard describing it as 神仙打架百姓遭殃 when immortals fight, commoners suffer. of course they didn't mean it literally but figuratively, that those people of wulin jianghu are high above, detached from the people on the ground. which is. contradictory to the idea of 侠 xia to begin with. so... it could even be interpreted that li lianhua living the spiritually "immortal" life embodied the xia spirit even more deeply than he did as li xiangyi the sigu sect leader, the "immortal" in the eyes of the commoners. actual immortals do not have any real attachment to the people, but a cultivated "immortal" does and is destined to feel and learn to deal with it over and over like llh did. it all comes back in a circle indeed.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #lhl #lhlmeta #my posts #dear diary it's (only) day 45 since completion and the symptoms are getting worse #i can imagine at this moment someone putting a hand to my forehead and ask me if i'm ok #not sure if this conversation about wuxia/xianxia genres is welcomed at all but ANYWAY. i just have a lot of feelings about cn stories #i'm discussing the genres in what i think are its barest forms rather than referencing to the ways they've manifested in popular fiction #esp since i'm not as familiar with many of the classic works on a personal level #AND there are so many other elements in play in these genres!!#personally not a fan of that definition of xianxia being 'stories about mythological figures like deities monsters demons etc'#just having deities monsters etc does NOT make it xianxia. that's just 玄幻/神话 fantasy/mythology(!!!)#an interesting distinction i learnt is that mythologies like 后羿射日 and 沉香救母 could be considered as proto-xianxia #simply based on the idea of xianxia being about deities + a sense of heroism #but they would still very much be classified as mythologies instead of xianxia. there's just a lot of overlaps i guess?#went down this rabbit hole a little and just word vomitting as I go. i may not be 100% right or accurate in my interpretations so.

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gmaybe666 · 1 year

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the girls are fighting !!!!!!

pt 1. of 'argument'.

THUNK

for context on their fight, this takes you to the initial comic that started it all

#I spent so long on this I am a LOOOSSSEEEERRR #but ive enjoyed experimenting and developing my comic style #its fun to keep making and trying #when is pt 2. coming?? idk #kenstewy #kendall roy #stewy hosseini #college kenstewy #stewy x kendall #kendall x stewy #the last panel was me trying to capture that awful feeling #of anxiety/shame/regret/hurt when someone is mad at you and they're not responding #like ive had it and it feels like im gonna vomit. especially the silent treatment where you have to wait it out #the anxiety gets crazy #ALSO nobody cares but I was thinking of a plot at work and im implying stewy got so mad at ken-#for sleeping with rava he got drunk and like ahem gave head to a couple of guys at a party and like made out with a girl #its probably not clear but I tried to imply it with 'busy. I heard'

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bluewonderer · 1 year

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a trigun stampede headcanon about humans, plants, and independents

Man made the Plants.

They slipped their wonder, their hubris, their science on them like a glove and reached through planes of existence to where raw elements danced together in elegant catastrophe and plucked them like an apple blossom from a tree.

The first one died before Man could even touch it.

The first one hundred died before they could even leave their dimension.

But that was the way of these elements, of these beings. They were born and died in a flash, a firework barely bloomed before its sparks were falling like dying petals. It was their way. It was their dance. What were concepts like years and moments to them, anyway? They were born to burn, to let their simultaneous life and death stretch out across time and space and fuel entire universes.

Man kept reaching. It is what they do best.

No human ever looked into this plane of celestial energy, no human ever could. It was concept, it was matter and energy, it was horror so beautiful and beauty so terrible that it would shatter a human mind. To look through eyes was to try to capture the infinite in the finite.

The first one died before Man could even see it.

The first one hundred died before they could even touch it.

They layered on science and ingenuity and determination. And they stopped trying to look through their eyes and started breaking the plane down into data, started viewing it through monitors and numbers.

The first Plant that they successfully bring over they can’t look at, they can only observe the lines of numbers running across the screen.

Sort of look like vines, someone said into the video that was recording this historical moment. Like a plant blooming across the screen. I’ve never seen data like this.

The first Plant that touches Earth dies less than a second later. The scientists still can’t look at it, couldn’t describe it if they could, but the world turns red as it dies.

It doesn’t die in an explosion. In fire and destruction. When the scientists blinked the red out of their eyes, it is said that the labs were covered in green vines and leaves and flowers.

The first Plant dies in life.

Man made Plants in their image.

They wouldn’t live in their natural forms—in the ones outside of time and physics and logic. In the ones that died as they were born, spinning their embers into new galaxies. So they were shaped into forms Man knew. Petals, like a flower, like the flowers that bloomed when the first one touched Earth. An homage, a tribute, a promise to do better.

And, inside the petals, they shaped the Plants with facsimiles of faces and eyes and mouths, with neck and shoulders and arms. They lovingly traced familiar curves, made them soft and feminine. These would be the new life-givers of the human race. They would save Earth. They would help Man explore and discover worlds and lifeforms and the unknowns beyond their own solar system. And so Man shaped them into soft and angelic things, into higher forms sent to aid mankind in its time of need.

The Plants lived for more than a moment, their pure, incomprehensible energy siphoned off slowly, carefully, until they could exist in a slow dance that could last decades. Centuries.

And there was life, and it was good.

Plants made Man.

It took a long time. Maybe. Probably. What is time to matter? What is time to gravity? What is time to time? The beings that came to be called Plants had no concepts or words for such things. They did not even have words, not like the humans.

They had dance. They had fire. They had birth and death and everything in between compressed into one single glorious moment and spread out across dimensions, across space and planes of existence. They had frenetic energy, enough to form worlds, enough to destroy existence.

Humans thought that their lives were short, and maybe so, in some sense. But Plants thought that the span of humans were pitiful, wet embers. No spark. No bloom.

No dance.

Their first memories as Plants, their first stories whispered among their kin, were of white nothingness, were of being stuffed from the span of galaxies into small spaces, the cramping of being formed into petals of soft curves.

It was not painful, the reshaping. The conceptualizing. The becoming describable for humans. It just was. Is. Will be. The Plants looked at each other, looked at themselves reflected in their glass homes, and thought themselves strange and alien.

The humans called them beautiful and they echoed yes, yes we are beautiful. Strange. New. Curious. We are not exploding, we are not stretching across and above and through with our deaths. We’re not dying at all.

We are not dancing.

But they could still hear their home, the place they were before they were plucked. They could resonate with their kin from far away, listen to them dance. They were too slow, too far away to dance with them.

But they could sing for them.

Gradually, the Plants came to see more than sterile white rooms and humans with reflective faces. They saw all kinds of humans—tiny ones. The tiny ones were their favorite—so small, so new, but loudloudloud. Screaming, laughing, throwing energy as wildly as the Plants used to when they were Before. The tiny ones lit up rooms, lit up the faces of the bigger humans.

They danced.

Other humans. Ones with the curves similar to the Plants’ new shapes. Others that looked like the scientists except with faces. The bigger humans were tiny sparks, hardly any energy left at all. The Plants sang for them, anticipating the dance, the life giving rush of their death.

But it never seemed to come. The bigger humans just kept on living, just kept on diminishing.

It was the way of things, the way of these beings other than themselves. Good or bad, the Plants didn’t know, because they didn’t know the meaning of such things. It just was.

They learned more, sometimes, with eyes peeking out between their petals when they weren’t busy singing to their firework brethren on the other side of the Great Gate.

(Eyes were funny things. A shape given to them by humans that they didn’t quite need.)

They learned that the Small Plants--the tiny humans with bright, bright energy—were the offspring. They learned about families and friends. They learned about the Engineers—the ones that took care of the Plants, that would relieve the pressure when it all got too much, when their elongated life and the drain on their energy made them feel heavy and wrong.

They learned about the shapes of humans. Their eyes and noses and mouths. Their laughter—the closest they got to dancing. Their care and kindness, the funny little creative ways they thought to sustain and feed the Plants—like with the alien, beautiful things that they called flowers.

They learned about things like fear and grief. But not by watching humans. It was born within them, made them different from their brethren beyond the Great Gate.

Their deaths were slow, now. Their deaths were separated out from their births, and it no longer felt like a dance. They would shove all of their remaining energy at the humans, and the humans used it. But it was a poor stretch, a wilting bloom compared to the reality-bending bursts of those on the other plane.

In watching the slow deaths of their kin, their sisters, all Plants came to dread it. But a long, long time of song would pass between each death. A song where they witnessed an infinite number of their kin dancing on the other side of the Great Gate, and the fear would be forgotten in the resonance.

Until the next one.

Man made Plants.

Plants, in turn, made Man.

As Man plucked their other selves, the them-before-they-become-Plants, from across planes of existence, so Plants plucked what they knew of humans to make their own creation.

It was an exchange. A dance.

It took a long time. It took no time at all. What Plants call consciousness weren't merged with the others. They were not a collective. But they had their songs. Sung and passed down and shared. Distance and time meant nothing with the song.

They came to understand the shape of humans—their hearts, which pumped blood. Their ribs, which protected the heart. Their muscles, which protected the ribs. The skin, which hid everything within them.

They learned that the water produced from their eyes was called sorrow. And sometimes it was called joy. They watched the scientists work, their favorite Engineers, and they learned about creativity and care. They peeked through their petals, and learned about blood and anger and hate.

They tried to prevent it, but their own fear and dread of a slow death was stitched into the song they wove into their new creation.

Then there was the shaping. Things like eyes and hair and noses and mouths. They made Man small, because the Small Plants were their favorites, the brightest spark among humans. They made the first one feminine, because they had come to learn that that’s what Man shaped the Plants after, and thought that that was Man’s favorite.

Love, as Man understood it, could not be understood by Plants.

But their First was born with the hope that She would dance.

And there was life.

But it must not have been good, or good as humans understood it, because they destroyed Her. Took apart her petals, caught her fire before it could bloom across the planes, before it could touch the Great Gate and beyond. Before it could join the song of their kin.

And more strange things were born within Plants, were sewn with whispered dissonance into their song.

Loss. Anger. Grief.

Fear.

These were woven even more thickly into the songs of the next creation. Because there were always going to be more.

Maybe the Plants gained more human characteristics than they thought. Curiosity. Determination.

Hope.

Hubris.

And so, they created two more Plants in the image of Man. Still tiny-shaped, because the Plants favored the human offspring the most. But these would grow into sharper angles and the heavier muscle that were both more predominant in their samplings of scientists and engineers.

Maybe Man would love these shapes more than the promised softness of the First.

And so two were born in the shape of Men. Born to live instead of born to die. Born to burn and bloom and diminish a slow death. The Plants hoped that they would learn the song of their kin, that they would touch the Great Gate. That maybe they could even dance just once with the others, with the beings-before-Plants. That they would dance with each other, and with the humans.

And there was life.

#trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun #trigun maximum #trimax #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun headcanons #vash headcanons #trigun world building #i think i sort of merged tristamp and trimax plant lore #that was the goal anyway #i hope this isn't crazy and makes sense #hi my name is blue and i can't talk about headcanons in regular words i have to make them weird and weepy #TRISTAMP HAS ME BY THE THROAT SEND HELP #blue writes #headcanons #it's rough because it's word vomit #i may tidy it up and post on AO3?? idk it doesn't feel like a real fic lol

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