#making fun of kondraki's cooking

[lordarsonizzzzt]

THEIR IDEAL DATE W/ YOU

I just wanted to write something cause im bored

characters: Jack Bright, Alto Clef, Kondraki, Draven, Iceberg, Gerald

JACK BRIGHT

✦ Jack strikes me as a funny guy when in a relationship, dates with him aren't fancy and shit, he doesn't want to go to a place where you have to waste tons of money for food

✦ She prefers going to McDonald, convencing the staff to give both of you balloons if they have any. Maybe go to an arcade or go bowling, fun dates are her thing.

✦ If you want to, she can book some fancy restaurant so you both can go, but it really isn't his thing. I'm so sure Bright just loves goofing around when not in the foundation cause those are the few times he gets to be out of the place.

✦ Don't get me wrong, he's loyal to the Foundation but it can be a bit too much plus the whole being inmortal thing, he preferes dates that involve going out and to places where you will have a fun story to tell.

ALTO CLEF

♫ Similar to Jack, he preferes fun dates, fancy never was and never will be his thing.

♫ But contrary to Jack, he prefers being indoors, that being said, he loves dates where you two cook together.

♫ HE IS going to mess with whatever you are doing, and YOU WILL have to try and stop him from putting weird shit into the mix.

♫ If you are baking a cake, he's going to try to put gummy worms in it, if you are making dinner, he'll try to put chocolates in the spaguetti.

♫ But that's perfect with you, because that's your man.

♫ If you both already planned to have a date but that day was kinda of shitty for him, he'll try to put through it anyways, most likely you will notice and it wil be time for cuddles and maybe a movie that is just there for background noise while both of you sleep.

♫ I headcannon Clef as a pretty clingy guy when in private, he needs constant praise but he'll prefer dying before admiting it, Lily left some pretty nasty scars on him (both mentally and phsically), so this 'dates' are more of a schedule for both of you, they happen once a week.

KONDRAKI

⌛︎ So this one depends on how much you support his drinking habit.

⌛︎ If you are ok with it you both will go to a bar and have a few drinks, but make sure they are actually a few because he doesn't know when to stop.

⌛︎ If you aren't okay with it, then you'll have dinners in your home, same as Clef, Kondraki prefers dates indoors rather than outdoors, he craves that domestic life. Hell! he may even invite Draven and Talloran if it's cool with you.

⌛︎ If Draven comes, he is not buying any alcoholic drinks, not even beer.

⌛︎ If he doesn't, he'll buy probably two cans of beer or vodka, enough to not get him wasted.

⌛︎ Dates with him are filled with talking about this and that, a new book he got into, some dumbass in the Foundation, a guy you don't like from your work and so on.

DRAVEN

➳ THIS BOY.

➳ Anything will do good with him, wanna go to the beach? Okay! Want to try out food in this new restaurant? Sure, let's go! Wanna do a picnic? HE'S ON HIS WAY.

➳ He likes to have dates at night time, maybe have some take-out and eat in a park while you both talk, walk around holding hands.

➳ He likes to gossip, no you can't change my mind. He'll call you up and will tell you to come to his apartment, when you are there, there are a lot of bags of chips, candies and sodas

➳ You'll paint his nails while he tells you about some weird break up that happened in the foundation, you will ask him to stay still because he uses his hands so much to get his point across.

➳ Probably the only one that will take you to a fancy place with no trouble, yeah it's not his thing but it doesn't hurt to act like you are both rich and important people for one night.

➳ 10/10 would date again.

*I RAN OUT OF PATIENCE TO DO LIL DRAWINGS FOR THEM SORRY LMAO*

ICEBERG

❆ THIS. BITCH.

❆ "Why do you wanna go out if we see each other every day"

❆ Don't expect going out with him, he has to be in a really good mood to take you out, if you wanna go alone or with friends he has no trouble paying for you.

❆ But he's just, not going out, not his thing at all.

❆ Similar to most in this list, preferes staying inside, he'll make breakfast for you and you can watch a movie on the mornings.

❆ At night time, he'll order something from your favourite place and probably some dessert, he'll tell you he got it because it was cheap and it was for him, but since he was going to get something might as well feed you too.

❆ He got himself something else tho, he didn't ate desseart because it was for you.

❆ This one also craves domesticity, but he won't say it. He loves kisses in the morning when making coffee, holding hands when coming home and cuddling at night.

❆ Hell! He may even tell you that he loves you, and verbal affection from him is one hell of an achievement.

GERALD

⚠︎ HE LOVES PICNIC DATES.

⚠︎ HE'LL BUY EVERYTHING IF NEEDED, BUT PLEASE JUST GO OUT WITH HIM TO A MEADOW OR A HILL AND HAVE A PICNIC DATE WITH HIM. HE'LL EVEN BEG.

⚠︎ Everything he gets is from the market, if he cooks he'll burn everything down and he just wants dates with you to be perfect, he feels like he doesn't deserve you and feels bad because there are so many guys out there that are better than him.

⚠︎ So he tries, he really tries to make these dates perfect, there is no way anything can go wro-

⚠︎ So, most of the time you end up going home and having the picnic on your backyard.

⚠︎ He gets attacked by bears, beers, steps on snakes by mistake, everything that could go wrong goes wrong.

⚠︎ He may even cry.

⚠︎ When you are in your backyard he'll try to feed you parts of the cake he bought, only to attract more fucking bees.

⚠︎ You'll feed him a strawberry and he'll choke on it, but that's to expect.

#scp x reader #dr kondraki x reader #dr clef x reader #dr bright x reader #dr iceberg x reader #dr gerald x reader #scp gerald #scp dr clef #scp kondraki #scp bright #scp iceberg

[finiffy]

The potluck idea has me in a choke hold and telling me that Kondraki totally has a plate saved for Draven so I decided to write about it.

Draven had known that the scp potluck would have been a disaster, he knew he shouldn't have gone. But he did, and he have mixed feeling about it. It was disgusting watching Gear and Allison taking drinks of motor oil straight out the barrel while Bright was crying in a corner after eating Backbird's 'salad' which itself looked like it was glowing red from the amount of chili pepper inside.

But he couldn't deny the fact that it was fun. It was fun chatting around with the agent as they recount stories of way too traumatizing scp encounters, the stupid dares they made to each other to eat something on the table.

It was especially watching hilarious when he spotted Glass jumped over the tables in order to grab his dad's food before running to nowhere with Meri right chasing at him.

Currently, he was standing off to the side corner with Talloran. Just talking to each other and occasionally looking back at the crowd of terrified researchers watching all 13 o5 casually eating at the table.

"Hey, Draven." A voice whispered from behind him.Draven turned around to his dad holding up a stacked plate of golabki. The shock must have been on his face as Dr. Kondraki chuckled, "Didn't think I'd save a plate for you?"

"Thanks dad." Draven said, taking a roll for himself.Kondraki smiled and reached a free hand out to pat his head before turning to Talloran, who was politely turning looking away and when he realize that Kondraki was looking at him, immediately started sweating bullets.

It seemed like Kondraki didn't notice as he held the plate out to the researcher.

"Take one kid, you're part of us now," Was all that Kondraki said. Talloran let out a quiet sigh of relief and reach out for a piece. Any tension that was building up between the two melted away as Draven and Talloran indulged themselves with Kondraki's homemade cooking.

A few minutes passed by before Kondraki pull the plate back."Sorry Draven, but I can't have you take all of it." Kondraki said, "I have to find Meri if she haven't already gotten Glass." He added after.Draven nodded understandingly but still reached for one more golabki. Kondraki lets him before turning and walking away.

- soap anon

PLEASE I AM PHYSICALLY HUGGING THIS SHORT FIC

Aaaa this is just so soft of just Konny and Draven and the dynamic of Talloran with Kon. I love the image of Glass making a beeline for Kondraki's food as Meri is running after him, trying to get the food before Glass eats everything. 10/10 writing

#fin answers #soap anon #it is really nice seeing the staff being soft choatic idiots #all the different families doing their own things

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: Hey do we have any milk left?

Clef: Yes, in the back of the fridge behind the orange juice.

Kondraki: OK, cool, thanks. Also the kitchen is on fire.

Clef: Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me that first?

#source: tumblr #dr kondraki #dr clef #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[whaleofatjme1920]

Hey Elsie!! I'm glad requests have just opened again and yep I'm back here again after a long while :3 soo, may I request for marriage/domestic headcanons for DrKondraki, DrRights and DrGears? Thanks in advance!!! ^~^

The Domestic Life with Dr. Kondraki, Dr. Rights and Dr. Gears

[GN! Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: What an adorable ask.]

Dr. Kondraki

He's a really, really tired man. He craves domesticity. So, the married life with you is everything he could ever want and more.

I think Kondraki s a very sound, stable partner. Sometimes he can be a bit of a mess? But that's more a personal thing that it is a detriment to you.

You're Draven's other parent. He calls you a parent specific term that you're comfortable with and loves the two of you. You and Kondraki read a lot of stories to him. Your boy is a dreamer.

Lots of quiet sweet nights where the two of you are cuddling on the couch watching movies, having good food with Draven snuggled up on your lap.

It's just - this is so good, good family dynamic right now. I love it so much for the two of you, three with Draven.

Dr. Rights

I don't think domesticity really suits her? She's more of like, a travel around the world fun aunt. But! The domestic life with you isn't THAT bad.

She does a lot of cooking for you because she's always got some cooking endeavor going on. She's kinda bad at baking though, so beware.

She likes fixing up places, so the home the two of you buy right after getting married is a HUGE fixer upper.

Agatha is a sweetheart and always wants to spend time with you. She's a bit of a clinger! And she always, and I mean always, has gifts for you.

I feel the two of you are both very free spirits. The two of you spend your married life exploring and traveling the world when possible rather than actually staying in one place. Two wandering souls who find home in each other.

Dr. Gears

I don't think the domestic or married life really suits him well because he puts his work above everyone and everything. It's not that he doesn't care, just that his priorities are a bit... not where you want them to be.

He tries when he can? But he's really, really not around as much as you want.

He gets you some things to make up for it. Little things that he remembers you like. He takes care of you when he can.

I feel your love and marriage to Charles is everything in between. It's soft and quiet, and sometimes feel like it's waning.

But the two of you love each other, it's just... not what either of you were expecting. Charles loves you more than he could every actually say, he's just not around as much as you'd like him to be.

#dr benjamin kondraki x reader #dr benjamin kondraki headcanon #dr benjamin kondraki #dr rights x reader #dr rights headcanon #dr rights #dr gears x reader #dr gears headcanon #scp dr gears #scp headcanon #scp x reader

[cloudy-dayys]

i headcanon that kondraki is a really good cook, he genuinely loves making big fun dishes and he absolutely adores baking and deserts. he thinks theyre sweet, cute, and everyone loves em

#tanner talks #scp #dr kondraki #hes a dilf that knows how to cook outside of a grill and i fucking love it

[bondsmagii]

oh boy time for another one of those Random Facts Posts™, this time about Kondraki’s trash son Draven! Draven doesn’t have his own blog (anymore... god those were dark days) but seems a bunch of you apparently quite like him and have even been creating some kickass stuff about him, I thought I’d make this post!

as a disclaimer: Draven is now Officially™ on the site and while a lot of things about him are correct, two major things have been changed that, ideally, I would like to see corrected should anything else ever be posted, and one major thing was perhaps glossed over. I’ll list those first. anyway here’s some facts about Kondraki’s trashlord son.

Important Shit I Would Rather Not Be Changed

Draven’s mother is not actually Rights. his mother is a Mexican woman named Mónica, who met Kondraki when they were both travelling around the world. they were never anything official but were very close friends who sometimes hooked up. when Mónica got pregnant they decided to keep the baby, and Mónica remained a civilian after Kondraki joined up with the Foundation. it wasn’t a conventional relationship but they were both happy, so it worked out.

Draven is mixed-race. his mother is Mexican, his father is Polish Jewish. both sets of grandparents were born in their home countries (Mexico and Poland), Mónica herself was born in Mexico before her family moved to the states. Draven has a darker skin tone and thick black hair. he does not look fully white by any means.

Draven is bisexual. he self-identifies as bisexual and rarely uses “gay” as an umbrella term.

Other Cool Shit 

by sheer coincidence, he and his father share the same birthday. it makes for some wild parties.

he has inherited his father’s curly hair, green eyes, and his need for glasses, however Draven wears contacts while at work.

speaking of work, Draven is a Task Force agent, specialising in kicking reality bender ass. Kondraki was bitter about that for a while.

he’s a big nerd with interests ranging from computers, programming, history, etc, to languages, linguistics, and reading everything he can get his hands on.

Draven grew up trilingual: English, Polish, and Spanish. he speaks all three languages like a native speaker. he can speak fairly decent German, and is making good progress with Russian. he really loves languages and likely will not stop there.

he’s the same height as his father -- 6′0.

he’s a pretty good cook.

he grew up with a mismatch of Catholic and Jewish beliefs and while he idenitifes as agnostic now, habit sometimes causes him to rapidly make the sign of the cross when shit goes down

he doesn’t smoke, but he’s a terror for binge drinking with the Lads™ from his Task Force.

everyone is surprised to find out that (at least compared to his father) he’s pretty thoughtful and chill, however he does have that Reckless Kondraki Streak™ that comes out sometimes. usually at bad times.

his ex-boyfriend is James Talloran. this was not something I originally planned, nor did @lord-o-stonefish, but rather something that happened by happy accident through fanart. myself and Talloran’s writer decided to roll with it so now it’s canon; we both agree that they are exes, however.

OK wow this was somehow longer than the one for Konny, have fun :D

#scp foundation #scp shenanigans #draven #draven kondraki #kondraki

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: I like cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing.

Bright: Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

Clef: You'll burn in hell for this.

#source: tumblr #i know we already did a version of this but #dr kondraki #dr bright #dr clef #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: Attention: Do not put bananas in the microwave. They are flammable

Clef: Why did you, anyway?!

Kondraki:

Kondraki: Science

#source: tumblr #dr kondraki #dr clef #scp #scp foundation #making fun of kondraki's cooking

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Iceberg: I ate a bug today.

Clef: Oh, did Kondraki cook again?

#source: anon #? #dr iceberg #dr clef #dr kondraki #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: I’m a horrible chef.

Glass: But you're trying!

Kondraki: Eh, not really.

#source: jimmy fallon #dr kondraki #dr glass #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Bright: The Kondraki I know isn’t fit to be responsible for anyone, including and especially himself. I once saw him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner.

Bright: Heiden, he opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and drank it like it was a thing normal people do. It was unholy.

Bright: And then I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and I quote, “It’s basically a smoothie.”

Heiden: I mean, technically... He's not wrong?

#source: unknown #dr bright #dr kondraki #dr heiden #heidraki #? #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: Here you are, nice hot cup of coffee.

Clef: Oh, it’s cold.

Kondraki: Nice cup of coffee.

Clef: It’s horrible!

Kondraki: Cup of coffee.

Clef: I’m not even sure it’s coffee.

Kondraki: Cup.

#source: sherlock #dr kondraki #dr clef #he's trying to poison him probably #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: I put some frozen blueberries in the microwave for five minutes and they exploded.

Clef: Kondraki, why?

Kondraki: I was hungry.

Clef: But- the microwave?!

Kondraki: It takes too long to defrost them.

#source: discord out of context #dr kondraki #dr clef #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: how do I bake a potato? Do I just bake a potato?

#source: lets play minecraft #submission #dr kondraki #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

My favorite thing is to cook in front of Clef because he knows which knife is made for what and forcing him to watch me use the wrong one brings me joy.

Kondraki, probably

#source: tumblr #dr kondraki #making fun of kondraki's cooking #dr clef #scp #scp foundation

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Kondraki: I wonder if I could put ramen in my lemonade and make lemonade ramen.

Glass: Let's not.

Glass: I dislike this idea.

Kondraki: But. Lemonade ramen.

Glass: No.

Kondraki: But

#source: original quote #dr kondraki #dr glass #making fun of kondraki's cooking #scp #scp foundation