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#marcus lepidus
theantonian · 5 months
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On this day, November 26 in 43 BC the second triumvirate was formed as the Triumviri Rei Publicae Constituendae Consulari Potestate ("Triumviri for the Constitution of the Republic with Consular Power", invariably abbreviated as "III VIR RPC"). An alliance of Roman leaders Mark Antony, Octavian and Lepidus.
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It possessed supreme political authority. The only other office which had ever been qualified "for the constitution of the Republic" was the dictatorate of Lucius Cornelius Sulla. The only limit on the powers of the Triumvirate was the five-year term set by law. Constituted by the lex Titia, the triumvirs were given broad powers to make or repeal legislation, issue judicial punishments without due process or right of appeal, and appoint all other magistrates. The triumvirs also split the Roman world into three sets of provinces.
A historical oddity of the Triumvirate is that it was an effectual three-man dictatorate which included Antony, who in 44 BC had passed a lex Antonia which had abolished the dictatorate and expunged it from the Republic's constitutions. As had been the case with both Sulla's and Julius Caesar's dictatorates, the members of the Triumvirate saw no contradiction between holding a supraconsular office and the consulate itself simultaneously (Lepidus was consul in 42 BC, Antony in 34 BC, and Octavian in 33 BC).
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navree · 2 years
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the politician, the general, and the priest - the second triumvirate.
the triumvirate for organizing the republic, or tresviri rei publicae constituendae, was a political alliance made following the ides of march between consul gaius julius caesar octavianus (caesar’s heir and adopted son), military veteran marcus antonius (caesar’s longtime friend) and high priest marcus aemilius lepidus (caesar’s appointed deputy). the second triumvirate, unlike the first between caesar, pompey, and crassus, was officially sanctioned by the senate and allowed the three men to rule the roman republic under a military dictatorship from 43 to 32 BC. 
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duxfemina · 29 days
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It's the late Roman Republic...
Now put in the tags what you selected and who you THINK it's referring to... Because I sneakily had at least two people in mind when I made each option and when the poll is over I'll reveal who I had in mind for each option
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[Sicily, 36 BCE. Agrippa has defeated Sextus Pompey at Naulochus. Octavian, remembering Lepidus exists, sends him and Agrippa on a field trip to capture Messana, the last Pompeian town.]
Lepidus: You'd think I was just some Italian commoner, not a noble patrician and his fellow triumvir!
Agrippa, an Italian commoner: Right...Looks like Messana has surrendered.
Lepidus: Finally, pillaging time!
Agrippa: Hang on--
Lepidus: Nope, can't hear you over the sound of sacking this city and taking all its soldiers for my own army.
Agrippa: The same ones whose homes you just burned?
Lepidus: I fought all the ground battles in this war! Octavian couldn't even land here without Pompeius running him off the island. Sicily is mine and I'm kicking him out!
Agrippa: That is a bad idea.
Octavian, arriving: Why is Messana on fire?
Lepidus: I'm tired of being a side character in this story! How many people reading this even know who I am? Huh? Even though I'm the most experienced general and have the biggest army? And after Octavian stole most of my provinces and shipped me off to Africa and--
Octavian: Is he crying?
Agrippa: I'm moving your ships so he can't set fire to those, too.
Octavian: Calm down, Lucullus. I also took Gaul from Antony and he got over it.
Lepidus: It's LEPIDUS. Now get off this island or fight me! [chucks spear at Octavian]
Octavian: Rude. And yes, I'm sure your men would be happy to fight another civil war immediately after fighting Pompeius. Right?
[The Messanians immediately defect, followed by the rest of Lepidus' army.]
Lepidus: Um
Agrippa: Do we kill him?
Octavian: What, and lose the comic relief?
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Lindsay Powell, Marcus Agrippa, ch. 3; based on Appian's Civil Wars 5.122-126.
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historical-kitten · 9 months
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Inspired by @just-late-roman-republic-things' lists like this. XD I love them so much I had to try one.
The way ancient politicians escape a corn maze.
Octavian: He has scouted the route in advance and plotted a course. When he gets lost, he follows Agrippa out and takes the credit.
Agrippa: Literally the only one who finds his way out easily and on his own. He was never lost.
Mark Antony: He makes his way through somehow despite not planning a path. If he hits a dead end, he just pushes through the corn. At least once he hides in the corn and jump-scares Octavian to make him scream.
Lepidus: He entered the maze, but no one saw him exit. No one searches for him. Octavian says he made it home and Antony agrees. The fact they agree on this is concerning...
Cicero: He solves the layout immediately but then second guesses himself. As he walks, he audibly describes his thought process, pausing at every turn. Everyone behind him is in agony.
Dolabella: He sets the maze on fire after he finds out he still owes the entry fee and they won't waive it. He tries to blame Mark Antony.
Julius Caesar: He sends flunkies through to scout the maze for him and follows after they give him a map. He is dubbed the first to navigate the maze successfully.
Pompey: He gets lost on his own so he bribes someone to lead him out and after he exits, calls anyone else who had assistance to escape a cheater.
Crassus: He bought an aerial view of the maze beforehand and uses this to get out successfully. After Dolabella sets the maze on fire, he tries to sell the owner insurance.
Brutus: He navigates the maze successfully after he bands together with Cassius and essentially follows his friend out of the maze. Somehow he's the one who gets all the credit.
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blackcat419 · 2 months
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Ranking the Conspirators and Avengers of Julius Cesar by fuckability
Happy 2,068th anniversary of Caesar’s assassination! To celebrate I’ll be ranking the main 3 conspirators who attacked Julius Ceasar while he was still alive and the men of the second triumvirate plus Agrippa on how fuckable they are to me. I’ll be judging them on attractiveness, conviction to the conspiracy, and how that conviction translates to them in bed. I will be using historical representation, modern reconstructions, and modern media depictions.
Side note: Roman’s viewed sexuality on a binary system from penetrator/dominant to penetrated/submissive. Basically, for a Roman man to be seen as manly he has to be the top in his sexual relationships with women or lower born men. So, a woman being on top, oral sex, or anything a little kinky would be seen as deviant.
7. Lepidus
During the assassination of Julius Caesar, Lepidus was Caesar’s right hand man. He had an army just outside of Rome when Caesar was assassinated. Despite starting off in a strong political position, Lepidus had little initiative in keeping power and was easily ousted by Anthony and Octavian. (Big L for loosing to Anthony). Lepidus did avoid Anthony’s fate as he was the head priest of Rome until his death in 13 BC, which means he lived for 14 years after Octavius became Emperor.
Attractiveness
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Lepidus is just not that hot. His statue with that neck beard is almost as bad as Nero’s! The HBO Rome casting doesn’t stick very close to the bust but the actor doesn’t stand out as super good looking. 4/10
Conviction
Lepidus was very much a follower in his partner ship with Anthony and then in the Second triumvirate with Anthony and Octavius. Lepidus started out in a very strong position being the only one with an army and probably could have used said army to reestablish peace and take out the conspirators. His lack of conviction probably is the only thing that saved him from being murdered by Anthony or Octavius as he wasn’t a threat to either and was happy to play second fiddle. 2/10
In bed
Lepidus probably wasn’t that good to have in bed. He’d do what any Roman was expect to do, be on top so only missionary or doggy, not letting his partner take the lead, and no fingering or oral. He calls sex “coupling” because he thinks it sounds more posh compared to other words. He can get the job done but it won’t be a great experience. 2/10
Overall: 2.5/10
Boring, traditional, and not exciting at all.
6. Brutus
Brutus was one of the main leaders of the conspiracy to assassinate Julius Caesar. Brutus was a close friend to Caesar, possibly being seen as a surrogate son because Caesar was having a long affair with his mom and was advancing Brutus’s political career.
Attractiveness
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Brutus is definitely a good looking guy, he has a very nice appealing face and the reconstruction still looks hot, although a bit too old for my 22 y/o butt. The actor for Brutus in HBO Rome looks similar enough to the bust. Overall good looking guy but doesn’t stand out much from a crowd. 7/10
Conviction
Brutus’s conviction to the conspiracy is weird. Brutus as a person was slow to act and often forced to react. He needed someone telling him what to do otherwise he fell apart. I believe his main motivation to the conspiracy was saving Julius Caesar from himself. He saw Caesar trying to position himself as a king and thought killing him would keep him from commuting that sin. The well being of the Republic and what it would take to rebuild it came second. This is seen with Brutus being opposed to killing Anthony along with Caesar which left Anthony in a strong political position to paint the conspirators as traitors to Caesar. 4/10
In bed
I think Brutus is very clueless in bed. He doesn’t know anything beyond simple penetration and will need to be taught how to actually please his partner. Unlike Lepidus, Brutus is willing to learn and improve but it’s an uphill battle where you have you drag him to the top. Want him to finger you? You have to literally guide his hand through the whole process and the second you stop leading him, he’s immediately poking at your belly button asking if this is the clit. He’ll walk out mid session because he’s so overwhelmed and just can’t seem to learn. Also unwilling to try anything that’s too radical. So no riding him, oral, or use of toys for this Roman boy. Also will call his mom afterwards to just chat. No aftercare cuddles! 1/10
Overall: 4/10
Cute to look at but total nightmare to fuck.
5. Octavius
Octavius was Caesar’s grandnephew (grandson of Caesar’s sister Julia) and was posthumously adopted by Caesar in his will. At just 19, Octavius became the richest man in Rome and maneuvered himself to becoming the emperor of Rome without ever needing to declare himself as such. Through his use of political power and favors, he became the de facto ruler of Rome while keeping the illusion of a republic. Big chaos is a ladder energy and Octavius is a climber
Attractiveness
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Octavius just looks off to me. His eyes are too big, a little too far apart, his ears are too large. He looks weirdly young yet old, 13 going on 30. The actor from HBO Rome is definitely hotter than the reconstruction but he still has the baby face. Idk he’s just kind of creepy, probably that murderous aura in his eyes. 4/10
Conviction
Octavius was the most convicted to getting both justice for his adoptive father and fulfilling his father’s goal of being the king of Rome. Octavius was willing to ally with anyone to get power and would backstab anyone he needed to to get power. 9/10
In Bed
Octavius is definitely a stick in the mud when it comes to sex. He was married 3 times but only had one child with his second wife. He also tried to make Rome more “morally righteous” by outlawing adultery which was a very common practice for upper class Romans. He wants to only have sex in missionary or doggy and he needs to have a spirited political debate to get going. Stops mid act to write his thoughts down before returning. Very boring sex which needs a lot of exhausting debating of politics to actually get going. 1/10
Overall: 4.5/10
Ambitious guy but his first and only love is his pursuit of power.
4. Marcus Antonius
Marcus Antonius or Marc Antony was Julius Caesar’s right hand man until he displeased Caesar by being a total drunk and terrible at governing. At the time of Caesar’s death, Marc Antony was Caesar’s co consul.
Attractiveness
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Antony is so hot. Big muscular man with dark curly hair? He’s just my type! I wish the hbo actor had curly hair but other than that he’s pretty good looking. I can see why Cleopatra kept him around, he’s such a hunk. 9/10
Conviction
Antony started off as very convicted and determined to avenge Caesar and gain power. He got the people of Rome on his side with his funeral speech. He was able to out maneuver Cicero and kill him. But despite all this, once Antony achieved the heights of his power, he kind of floundered. He spent his time partying instead of preparing for war with Octavius. While Ambitious, he looses his conviction once he has nothing to work towards. 5/10
In bed
Antony is definitely a freak in bed. He was married five times with 9 children between them! He was also in a lot of sexual scandals. As a youth, Cicero said he played wife to his friend Curio. This is probably political slander as Cicero hated Antony and calling someone the bottom in a gay relationship was a very big insult to Roman men as it meant being passive and thus, woman like. Antony knows what he’s doing and isn’t afraid to get experimental. He doesn’t care about Roman social norms when it comes to sex and so nothing is stopping him from pleasing his partner. During Antony’s climb to power, sex is less common and more focused on connection and escaping the world with his lover. But after Antony has come to the height of his power, sex becomes much more indulgent. The emotional connection with his partner becomes less important as he chases his own orgasm. Your pleasure feels like an afterthought instead of the main focus of sex. Definitely asks you if you think his dad would be proud of him but if you say yes he’ll say you obviously did not know his father. While 9/10 at the start, it turns to a 4/10 for a final score of 6.5/10
Overall: objectively 7/10, subjectively 5.5/10
When Antony has a goal to work towards, he is basically perfect but once he doesn’t have anyone or anything pushing him, he flounders and succumbs to his own vices. A little too much like myself.
3. Cassius Longinus
Cassius Longinus, the soldier in the conspirators turned on Caesar for possibly several reasons. Still, the one I like the most is him being upset he wasn’t advancing politically as fast as he thought he should.
Attractiveness
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Cassius's statue and modern reconstruction show how a statue can make someone look a lot different. The lines around his mouth are pronounced in both versions but the reconstruction makes it look a lot more natural and not weird like with the statue. The HBO actor also has a similar face shape and details and he looks very good. 7/10
Conviction
This man is dedicated!! Not only did he want to take out Caesar but also Marc Antony and other Caesarean to make sure the conspirators were filling in the power vacuum. The only problem is that Cassius didn’t do this. He was convinced by Brutus not to take out more Caesareans, not taking Antony out when he was taking power, and not to send aid to Cicero during Octavius’s rise to power. In the end, Cassius was dedicated more to Brutus than the conspiracy (which supports my theory that Cassius loved Brutus in a romantic way but I digress) in the end, all conspiracy and no stabbies 6/10.
In Bed
Cassius is definitely an explorative lover but is still really strict about staying the dominate one. He also gets a little aggressive and possessive in bed easily. Definitely would be into bdsm with a focus on a command kink. He’s a soldier and likes it when his partner follows his orders. Definitely a good lay 7/10
Overall: 6.66/10
A head strong lover who’s conviction leads him to do crazy things. The type of guy who’d break my heart.
2. Decimus Brutus
Decius Brutus is the third forgotten member of the conspiracy. He is a distant cousin to Brutus. Decimus started out as a Caesarean and fought for Caesar in the Gallic wars which gained him favor with Caesar. Decimus was so close to Caesar that he was appointed to take over the transalpine Gaul Provence after Caesar. But Decimus became disillusioned with Caesar and saw him rising to become a tyrant and strives to stop that.
Attractiveness
Sadly, Decimus Brutus is over shadowed by Brutus and Cassius in many ways. We don’t have any busts (that I could find and confirmed were Decimus and not the other Brutus) and Wikipedia only has two coins with his face minted on them. Decimus doesn’t fair any better in modern media. He’s not in HBO’s Rome, Shakespeare mistakenly calls him Decius, and is mostly remembered in literature. Because of this lack of material to judge, I won’t be scoring him in this section n/a
Conviction
Despite Decimus usually being overlooked, forgotten, or merged with his cousin Brutus, was very instrumental to the conspiracy. Decimus was a Cesarean who fought for Caesar in Gaul and during the Civil war. Decimus became disillusioned with Caesar and decided that he needed to do something about it. Further more, Decimus convinced Caesar to attend the senate meeting on the Ides instead of staying home after his wife had a nightmare about his death. The place he faulted is after the assassination where he decided to leave and take up his position as Governor of transalpine Gaul (which Caesar appointed him to) instead of trying to keep power out of Antony’s hands. This decision led to him being killed and his head and hands sent back to Rome. 8/10, he came, he saw, he murdered but it just wasn’t enough
In Bed
Decimus definitely is adventurous in bed. He is willing to change his approach to pleasing his partner as his goal is always making sure they are satisfied. He will let you dominate him and will dominate you if you want. I also think he’d be into roleplay as he likes getting into character and pretending to be someone else, which he’s good at. He also needs a lot of cuddles after sex to make sure you feel loved. He’s a devoted lover and a cuddle bug 8/10
Overall: 8/10 while we have no clear surviving depictions of Decimus Brutus and how he’s often ignored in adaptations, he’s still a really interesting character who I like a lot because I love overlooked side characters.
1. Marcus Agrippa
Agrippa, childhood friend of Octavius, his loyal right hand man, builder of Rome, defender of Italia, and Octavius’s son in law? Yeah, Octavius had his best friend marry his daughter in a move that showed he wanted Agrippa to be the next emperor or guide the next emperor. But Agrippa passed before Octavius and left a massive hole in his succession plans.
Attractiveness
Agrippa is so hot. Not only is he physically attractive but he is emotionally attractive! This is the most loyal Roman man ever! Not once did he think about betraying his best friend to become emperor himself. Agrippa still supported Octavius even when he was sent away from the capitol in a sort of exile to fight. But I’m getting side tracked.
Agrippa’s busts portray this strong jawed masculine man who has these sad soulful eyes. Almost as if he can see the distraction his family would face. All his sons would die before becoming adults, his daughters used as marriage pounds, and his wife put into another unhappy marriage to her step bro. The HBO actor in Rome captures Agrippa’s look so well! Oh to be in a museum with this bust, I would kiss it! 10/10 no notes
Conviction
While Agrippa didn’t come into Rome until after Caesar was assassinated, he was dedicated to serving Octavius’ grind to power. No matter how many times Octavius pushed him aside or lost, Agrippa always came back. Even when he was essentially co-emperor with Augustus, he never pushed for having more power than Augustus. He was commuted to his boyfriend I mean friend 10/10
In Bed
This man fucks. He had 9 kids in his life and his last wife Julia, daughter of Augustus, was even pregnant when he died. Damn this man did not stop! Agrippa is a service dom. He loves seeing his partner being pleasured by him. He’s here to serve and give his all to his partner. 10/10
Overall: 10/10 one of the greatest historical men ever
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garland-on-thy-brow · 7 months
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Talking with @soldatrose about how Lepidus the triumvir, despite having conspirators for father, brother, wife, brother in law, and son, still failed to do conspiracy himself (though at least he tried, maybe).
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I think he is still being slowly eaten by the onion tree. You know. His son taking after the conspiratorial side of the family.
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2nd-triumvirate · 2 years
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*mark antony and octavian, fighting in the background*
lepidus: can i get a waffle? can i please get a waffle?
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catilinas · 1 year
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Okay but with regards to roughly chopped onions, do you think this is what Poppaedius Silo said to the ghost of Marcus Livius Drusus after his Revenge Deception Operation against Caepio? (Also I think that revenge has MDZS vibes).
YES absolutely 100% but now i wonder did he use the roughly chopped onions to summon drusus’ ghost or did he :( just not have to wait long before he was killed also :(
(in arguably Another revenge! if you go with it being lepidus livianus rather than metellus pius defeating silo. which i Do because the narrative drama of silo killing caepio because he thought he was responsible for drusus’ death, And Then lepidus livianus (drusus’ brother) killing silo because he thought HE was responsible for drusus’ death if really fun. i think drusus’ ghost would be pissed at lepidus livianus though)
(AND. <- guy who has literally just reached episodes of a certain television show containing A Lot of revenge going on. yeah. real. it v much does)
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lightdancer1 · 2 years
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A brief moment to remember the most obscure of the Second Triumvirate
He came, he saw, he conquered, he was evicted.
Sic transit gloria mundi.
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blogdemocratesjr · 11 months
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Portrait of Dirck Jansz. Pesser by Rembrandt & Marcus Aemilius Lepidus (Musei Vaticani) replica in Pushkin Museum
Two years previously, when Livia was six, a man who would later loom large in the early years of her marriage had found himself the victim of popular fury. That man was Marcus Aemilius Lepidus. The future Triumvir was named as interrex in the tense days following the murder of that vexatious Claudian, Livias kinsman Clodius. The nomination was not without its dangers—in this case the storming of Lepidus’s house by incensed pro-Clodian plebs. Asconius recalled the scene. ‘Then [the mob] broke through the gateway with all manner of violence and pulled down his ancestral portraits [the imagines maiorum], broke up the symbolic marital couch of his wife Cornelia, a woman whose chastity was considered an example to all, and also vandalized the weaving operations which, in accord with ancient custom, were in progress in the entrance hall.’ ... The mob that threatened Lepidus, while sparing the senator himself, destroyed every cherished building block of patrician domesticity. Trampled underfoot was the sanctity of past, present and future.
—Matthew Dennison, Livia, Empress of Rome
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theantonian · 7 months
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Why was Antony loved by Romans even after the proscriptions?
Cassius Dio, writing more than two and a half centuries after Antony's death, describes Antony as being the most ruthless of the three Triumvirs at the time of the proscriptions.
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So does Velleius, but it was this historian's policy to show Augustus, in whose circle he moved, in the best light, and to malign Antony; and therefore his evidence is not to be accepted. He accused Antony, in any case, chiefly of having shut for ever Cicero's "divine lips"; but the Philippics were not divine they were devilish.
But Suetonius who was separated from the period by over a hundred year less than this, and is the better authority, is emphatic, as has already been said, that Octavian was the only one of the three who showed no wish to bring the massacre to an end. Antony, in fact, appears to have been the first to feel shame for his atrocious behaviour; and at any rate there can be no doubt that he alone retained his popularity with Rome's democracy, whereas Octavian was detested.
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lionofchaeronea · 4 months
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Denarius of the famous Roman general and statesman Mark Antony (Marcus Antonius), born 14 January 83 BCE. This coin was minted in the late summer or autumn of 38 BCE, possibly to advertise the renewal of the triumvirate between Antony, Octavian, and Lepidus in that year. At the time of its issue, Antony was preparing, with Cleopatra's help, for a campaign against the Parthian Empire (which would, in the event, end in disaster, severely weakening his position and setting the stage for his final showdown with Octavian). The obverse of the coin bears the bust of Antony, who is identified as AUGUR (an important Roman priesthood, responsible for taking the auspices by observing the flight of birds) and TRESVIR R(EI) P(UBLICAE) C(ONSTITUENDAE) (the official title of the members of the triumvirate). The reverse, in a testimony to Antony's past glories and future ambitions, labels him IMPER(ATOR) TER(TIUS) ("thrice acclaimed victor") and bears a trophy (tropaeum), an empty suit of armor erected to mark the point at which the enemy army began to flee.
Photo credit: Classical Numismatic Group, Inc. http://www.cngcoins.com
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blueiskewl · 2 months
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A ROMAN MARBLE PORTRAIT HEAD OF MARK ANTONY CIRCA 1ST CENTURY B.C.
Marcus Antonius (14 January 83 BC – 1 August 30 BC), commonly known in English as Mark Antony, was a Roman politician and general who played a critical role in the transformation of the Roman Republic from a constitutional republic into the autocratic Roman Empire.
Antony was a relative and supporter of Julius Caesar, and he served as one of his generals during the conquest of Gaul and the Caesar's civil war. Antony was appointed administrator of Italy while Caesar eliminated political opponents in Greece, North Africa, and Spain. After Caesar's assassination in 44 BC, Antony joined forces with Lepidus, another of Caesar's generals, and Octavian, Caesar's great-nephew and adopted son, forming a three-man dictatorship known to historians as the Second Triumvirate. The Triumvirs defeated Caesar's killers, the Liberatores, at the Battle of Philippi in 42 BC, and divided the government of the Republic between themselves. Antony was assigned Rome's eastern provinces, including the client kingdom of Egypt, then ruled by Cleopatra VII Philopator, and was given the command in Rome's war against Parthia.
Relations among the triumvirs were strained as the various members sought greater political power. Civil war between Antony and Octavian was averted in 40 BC, when Antony married Octavian's sister, Octavia. Despite this marriage, Antony carried on a love affair with Cleopatra, who bore him three children, further straining Antony's relations with Octavian. Lepidus was expelled from the association in 36 BC, and in 33 BC, disagreements between Antony and Octavian caused a split between the remaining Triumvirs. Their ongoing hostility erupted into civil war in 31 BC when Octavian induced the republic to declare war on Cleopatra and proclaim Antony a traitor. Later that year, Antony was defeated by Octavian's forces at the Battle of Actium. Antony and Cleopatra fled to Egypt where, having again been defeated at the Battle of Alexandria, they committed suicide.
With Antony dead, Octavian became the undisputed master of the Roman world. In 27 BC, Octavian was granted the title of Augustus, marking the final stage in the transformation of the Roman Republic into an empire, with himself as the first Roman emperor.
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worst group of roman senators to go on a roadtrip together?
Get in losers we're starting a civil war in a van
Driver: Mark Antony, who is incredibly drunk.
Shotgun: Sallust, the rat bastard historian who spends the whole time trying to video the shenanigans happening in the back.
Row 2:
Marcus Calpurnius Bibulus - Still with the poop bucket on him.
Julius Caesar - Everybody either wants to fuck him or wants to kill him. We're putting him between two people who want to kill him.
Quintus Lutatius Catulus Capitolinus - Hated Caesar before it was cool. Their feud escalated to the point of Caesar trying to put Catulus on trial for embezzlement and Catulus trying to frame Caesar for the Catilinarian conspiracy.
Row 3:
Cato the Elder - We are bringing him back from 150 years earlier solely so he can complain about the younger generation and bring cabbages on board. The cabbages are not used for the intended purpose.
Gaius Cassius Longinus - Is that a dagger in his pocket or is he happy to see you? (It's a dagger.) We're putting him in the center of the van for maximum stabbing reach in all directions. And also to torment him.
Cato the Younger - Initially delighted to meet his ancestor but within 10 minutes they will be shouting at each other over who is the Most Maiorum.
Row 4:
Publius Clodius Pulcher - It's not a party without Rome's sexiest crossdressing mob boss.
Titus Annius Milo - Clodius' worst enemy and real-life killer.
Cicero - Stuffed between Clodius and Milo. He is seriously considering jumping out the back window.
Strapped to the roof: Tiberius Claudius Nero, father of the future emperor Tiberius, whom nobody wanted here but they couldn't find a good excuse to leave him at home.
The one they meant to pick up but forgot about: Lepidus.
I give it 30 minutes before the van is on fire.
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historical-kitten · 6 months
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Ancient Romans as Novelty T-Shirts from a Magazine
Caesar: Let's assume I'm right, it'll save time.
Octavian: I may be wrong, but it's highly unlikely.
(Like father like son, adopted or not.)
Agrippa: I'm not bossy. I'm aggressively helpful.
Antony: Admit it...life would be so boring without me.
(Bonus was "Anthony's Beer Removal Service. Pints. Pitchers. Kegs . No job too big or too small" which admittedly is spelled wrong but was close enough to make me laugh)
Lepidus: I'm just here for the leftovers.
Dolabella: How to Handle Stress Like a Dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.
Cicero: Don't worry I CAN FIX IT.
(Meaning the Republic...)
Cato: Yes, I know they pick on you at school and call you names, but you still have to go, you're the teacher!
Catiline: Just be happy I'm not a twin.
If you saw someone do this, let me know and I'll credit them. I legitimately got a magazine with those shirts in it today and picked from there, but I think I've seen this style meme before. I have seen too many Roman memes at this point 😂 I would guess @just-late-roman-republic-things or @theromaboo if there has been one! If not, they inspired me to let out my classical humanities nerdism anyway! (As well as @greekmythcomix and her chickens.
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