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swiss-mrs · 1 month

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Can you write a second chance a love with SY. He and reader were exes and tension has built up where he can’t help but kiss you and profess that he still misses you. Thanks!

Second Chances

Captain Syverson x GN!Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Mentions of Failed (Military) Relationships, Mentions of Fighting/Regretted Words Exchanged, Slight Sexism/Toxic Masculinity/Trad Views, Self-Doubt, Slight Depression, Sy is Able to Lift Reader, Angst with Happy Ending (As Requested)

Reader/Unnamed OC Description: No Physical Descriptions, No Mentions of Race, Height, Weight, Ethnicity, Etc., Age is 25+, Sy is 35+, No Use of Y/N, Only You/Your Pronouns, Mentioned as “darling" and "beautiful", otherwise gender neutral.

Life is… fine. Wake up. Go to work. Come back home to your apartment. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. There wasn't really anything to complain about, but there was a notable loss. The only thing is now you're just used to it.

In the beginning, it was always the little things, someone passing with a similar cologne, a specific food brand at the grocery store, a familiar street you no longer pass by as often. Eventually, the watery eyes tamed to a pang in your chest. Now, it's all just numbness. Even with friends, your smile makes appearances again, but the happiness doesn't quite reach your eyes the way it used to. It's been so long, they just stopped mentioning it, but you still notice the occasional pity look.

It's a crazy thing to think about how you've lived more of your life without him than you have with him, but that doesn't lessen the effect.

You'd survived your childhood, your teenage years, and early twenty-something without him. After meeting the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on, you'd be foolish not to reciprocate his advances. Though you shortly had your skepticism after finding out his occupation, he was quick to assure you he was no quick trip, and ultimately, you caved.

And he for sure had you, for years in fact. He had you completely believing every one of his ‘I love you's and ‘forever's, yet here you are, missing the way he'd fill up the space in your life.

You'd had a life before him, a decently fulfilling, single life until he showed up and screwed that all up. He wasn't necessarily your first ‘love’, but he was definitely your first ‘true love’. And, now, you were feeling the effects of that loss.

The first thing that hit you after your split with Sy was anger, pure reactivity to how everything ended. How dare he call you ‘too much’. How dare he try to pull the whole ‘you signed up for this’ bullshit. He had the audacity to make every problem your problem. Fuck him for making your ‘forever’ just another failed military love that should've known better.

You were soon to block him, not wanting to hear any of his ‘I'm sorry's or ‘can we talk's. You'd already talked, talked a little too much. You were done. ‘Let it die’ was your mantra for months. He ruined you, had you looking in the mirror different. You couldn't talk to anyone, express yourself, ask for help, be vulnerable without seeing it as annoying, dramatic, ‘too much’. Maybe, it was just you?

You took it upon yourself to change, distance yourself, drift away. Was it just you? No one made a comment about how they suddenly heard from you less. Were you really too much?

For a long while, you wished he'd cheated, abused, something, anything to make you hate him. Could you really hate him for it? You didn't work out. That's not his fault. He didn't understand you, and a couple of rude words weren't nearly enough to hate him. He was ultimately a good guy. He was never unfaithful, never would even dare to think of laying a hand on you, but when it was all said and done, he was a bit neglectful. But, how much of that was him, and how much of it was his job? Oftentimes, it was hard to distinguish. Too often was it an excuse.

Did he love you? sure. Could he have loved more? yes. Too often did it feel like he was one-sided. You were there for him, not the other way around. You are his, not the other way around. You needed him, not the other way around. And to have that shoved back in your face when you brought it up was not the right reaction. He shouldn't feel like an animal cornered when you brought up a concern, something he did that hurt you, but he did. A valid point shouldn't be shot down or argued with counterpoint, but it was. Now, you can only second guess yourself, and that shouldn't be how it is, but it is.

You loved too hard, that will haunt you. He loved too little, and that will forever haunt him.

He hated himself. You were everything he ever prayed for, a beautiful partner with a beautiful smile and a beautiful soul, someone he could have forever. He didn't realize that the thought of ‘having someone’ was wrong of him. He was selfish. You never did anything but show him your heart, your mind, and he blew it up in your face. He destroyed something, someone so beautiful. A day hasn't passed that he wasn't filled with regret. He couldn't even smile or laugh anymore. He became scary.

He'd lost the one piece of true happiness in his life, and it was his fault.

He craved you. He needed you, but he was too late. Why couldn't he have realized what he had sooner? Appreciate you like you deserve. Love you like you deserve. He knows he has it in him, but he just couldn't. fucking. see. it. He wants to kick his own ass for it. He desperately wants to turn back time, go back with the mindset he has now, or at least beat it into his past self.

He'd gotten too damn comfortable being in the military. Vulnerability is weakness. Why would he use his words? Why think about anything, decode? Feelings are best buried. He's a man's-man, and a man only needs to protect and provide

He believed that ideology never gave him issues until you. You challenged that ideal. You asked him for his thoughts, his feelings. You wanted to know. You cared. It annoyed him. Why the fuck would he care? Sure he had thoughts and feelings somewhere, but he pushed them down. Why bring them back up? You surely had too much time on your hands to be concerned with what he was thinking. You wanted connection. He knows that now, but what is that going to do for him now?

He immediately felt the effects of your absence. He was deployed when you left your shared home. He watched you leave on the security camera, car packed to the brim. Sure, he had felt a type of way about it then, but then he was only apologizing for the sake of it. He was just another man in the wrong. Apologize to your upset partner, make up, and move on, but oh, was it so much more different now.

He was filed to the brim with remorse. Even then, he had visions of your shared future, retiring or climbing ranks to settle in one place, building a family, a home, preferably on a large, secluded plot of land. How he looks on with different eyes at that ‘future’ now. He never truly believed in all that ‘grass is greener’ ‘know what you have ‘til it's gone’ B.S. until he'd lost you. He gets it now.

It wasn't until that switch was flipped for him to realize you blocked him, excommunicated. He was gone so much that he never got a chance to build any sort of relationship with your friends. It irritates him now that he is probably known as just the shitty military ex. The closest thing he has to you is a friend of a friend of his who is a friend of a friend of yours. At first, he'd rather die than try to reach out to you that way, but now, there was no line, no bridge he wouldn't cross to just get one more moment with you.

He'd been stewing on it for the last year and a half. You'd moved and blocked him. It seemed utterly hopeless to reconnect, but something came up recently that has him itching again.

He's been promoted. A good job, good position, and in one place. It was perfect. The start of your ‘forever’ together. The only thing missing is you. Friend of a friend² be damned. He had to fix this, and just his luck to find you. Just your luck to be found.

It took several minutes for you to lay eyes on him, but he spotted you immediately. The second you walked through the door of your new favorite café, he saw you. He couldn't believe it. He originally pulled himself into this place because it simply reminded him of you. It had you written all over it. He felt closer to you here. He wouldn't have guessed you would just walk in like this. His eyes followed you as you stood in line and ordered.

He noticed you glance around the café briefly and still not spot him seated at a back table facing the exit. His heart raced, seeing your eyes wander before going to your phone. He knew that look, though. You were only fidgeting with it, trying to make yourself look busy to avoid any social awkwardness. It made him grin as he stared longingly. There were some things that didn't change.

It had been a whole two years since you last saw Sy, about eight months since you stopped seeing him in every stranger. You weren't going to back track now, so you stared down blankly at your phone to keep yourself from staring at the familiar looking guy in the corner. He was missing a thick beard and a shaved head, but with a quick glance, he looked an awful lot like heartbreak.

Sy knew he was on borrowed time, the chances of you sitting alone in any kind of restaurant was slim to none, and considering you weren't looking for seating meant you were grabbing and going. He had to think of something and fast.

His body was standing, and his feet were moving before his mind could catch up. It wasn't until he was about two feet away that he stopped and started panicking. You noticed the man standing in your peripheral, but you kept your head down to avoid any awkward eye contact. That was until your name fell from his lips, causing you to look up from your phone.

“Sy?” Your eyes widened and your brows furrowed together. Your heart immediately started blasting in your ears. You couldn't breathe. You'd thought about running into him again, about all you wanted to say to him, telling him off? apologizing? But that was before your move, before you forced him out of your mind. Now, you were face to face with your anxiety and dreaded nightmare. Your name was muffled from his mouth and to your ears the second time.

“Hi. How have you been?” He wanted to punch himself in the face for how casual that came out, but he quite honestly couldn't think of anything better to say without falling over his own words. He awaited a response from you, but you only stared like a deer in headlights.

You genuinely couldn't hear a word coming out of his mouth. Was he talking? He had to have been. His mouth was moving, but it was like his voice was muffled. Something you assume was your name came out again before your name was called a bit louder by a different voice behind you.

You whip your head around to find a perky barista with a drink in hand, looking in your direction. You scurry over to her and take your drink with a curt thank you, as polite as you can muster in this moment. Without even a second glance, you're making a rushed escape for the exit. Your name is called again, but you're tunnel visioned on the door out.

Sy's stomach tightens and drops at the sight of your flee, but again his body is in full control at this point. He's utterly in shock. He didn't know what to expect, but this was his chance. All he knew is that he couldn't let you leave, not again, so this time, he chased after you.

As soon as you're out the door, he's right behind you, having to catch the door from slamming on him. He calls out for you again, but you don't stop, so he keeps running.

It's once you're passed the café windows that he finally catches up. He reaches to grab for your arm but quickly changes his mind to just step in front of you instead. “Wait! Please, darlin’, wa-”

“Don't call me that.” He's taken aback by the sudden words but retracts nonetheless.

“Please. Wait.” It was at this point that you both have fallen silent that you get a good look at him. His hair has grown out of its ‘tactical buzzcut’ and into a pretty generic cut that was redeemed by the dark curls atop his head. His beard was now trimmed down to only some scruff and a mustache. It was an odd combination of seeing him with more and less hair than usual, but he was just as handsome as ever, unfortunately.

The pause between you both was long. Though it should be awkward, it was also strangely comfortable or rather empty. Being in each other's presence again was like putting on an old hoodie. It was cathartic and familiar, but the memories, the history, was hard to get passed. Your name falls from his lips again, a lot softer and barely there. Your eyes were trained on his face, unable to look away. His were downcast.

“I… I….” His eyes close as he takes a deep breath in an attempt to gain some composure. His bottom lip juts out a bit as his mouth tightens into a little frown. “Please, I need to talk with you.” He opens his eyes, encapsulating your gaze in his.

The sight of his eyes outside of your memory is enough to empty your brain of any thought, so you remain silent. But he needs an answer from you, so he waits.

“What is there to talk about?” You say. He can tell by the look in your eyes that you built walls that weren't there before, and it shakes him to his core. He did that.

“A lot.” He sighs, huffing out a singular humorless laugh through his nose. His face briefly quirks like it wants to give a smile to match the short laugh, but the overwhelming weight of the situation at hand just won't allow for it.

You stare up at him for a few beats of silence, both of your chests tight with anxiety. You've never seen him so close to breaking down. He's never seen you so blank. Neither of you really knows what to do, but eventually, your eyes fall from his face before you walk passed him.

Sy freezes. The world around him simultaneously crumbles and halts. His breathing completely stills. You don't get five steps away before you turn back and call after him, “You want to talk. I'm not giving you another chance to do so.” You say, expecting him to follow you. As soon as the realization hits, he moves with haste. He's beside you walking before you're even done turning back around.

It was a good two blocks before Sy spoke up. “How have you been?” He tries again, looking over to you as you walk.

“Fine.” You answer curtly. It makes Sy frown again. It's the kind of ‘fine’ you'd give a stranger, and he hates that that's what you've become. He feels a bit shut down but continues. This is his chance.

“Well, that's, um, good to hear.” He states, but the end of the sentence inflicts an upward tone, almost into a question.

“I wasn't for a long time, but now, I'm fine.” You add, and it's the hardest punch in the gut Sy has ever received. His jaw clenched as he nodded. He swallows, trying to carefully choose his words, knowing how much each one counts.

“Darlin-” He cuts himself off by correcting it to your name. He sighs again, “Please, genuinely hear me when I express how sorry I am.”

“I'm sure you are.” He glosses over your response, continuing.

“Look, I know I've said it before, but, in all honesty, I didn't-” He cuts himself off again, making sure he words it correctly.

“Didn't mean it?” You finished, a bit annoyed.

“No.” He's quick to correct, “I meant it.” He says, determined, “I knew that I had made you upset, and I knew to apologize for it, but I didn't really know the meaning behind it.” He admits. “I didn't understand.” He confirms what you already know. “I was foolish. Stuck in an old way.” He pauses with another frown. “I didn't understand why you wanted to dig into me. I didn't understand that you were only trying to connect with me, really connect. I got defensive. ” He looks up from the ground to your eyes with a sad, guilty look, like he's confessing. “I was stupid and didn't believe in sharing every part of me with you.” He slows his pace, forcing you to match until you're stopped in front of him.

You're facing each other as he continues with his confession. “I thought doing so would make me less of a man, but I understand now.” He gives you a quick, little, sad smile before it disappears into a guilty frown. “I understand that it was an integral part of strengthening our bond, our love. You'd show me every part of you in return for me doing the same, and we'd accept each other, every part.” He gives another sad smile that breaks your heart all over again. He looks down shamefully with a hard look on his face, “I understand now.”

You look at him with a sad pout. Half of you wants to give him a piece of your mind. Two years!? It took all that time to just now fucking realize what you were asking of him!? But the other half didn't know how to feel. What is he trying to do? Redeem himself? What.

“So that's it? You just wanted to give me an actual apology?” He can see that your walls are still up. He fixes his jaw.

“Yes, but,” He starts. He knew that you weren't going to just fall into his arms, but he still hoped it would be that easy to just pick up where you left off. He sighs with his eyes closed, this time shakily, nervous. It confuses you as you've never seen the Captain Syverson nervous. “I've been…” He stops short, pausing. Jesus, you never thought you'd see the day this immovable mountain of a man revert to a reprehensible kid. “I know we can't pick up where we left off, and I kind of don't want to,” He tries again, this time getting a confused and slightly offended expression from you, “but can we, maybe, start over?” He looks at you with the most hopeful, pitiful puppy eyes you've ever seen, another thing you never thought you'd see from him.

The air forcefully leaves your lungs as all the progress you've made through the years to try and make yourself impenetrable leaves with it. Your chest tightens as you try to will the upcoming tears away. It's your turn to let out a humorless laugh. You shake your head, looking off into the distance, “You really hurt me, Sy.” You look back at him with the most heartbreaking expression. He nearly looks close to tears at the sight. “I'm too much. I'm needy. I expect too much.”

“No, no, no.” He stops you, stepping closer only to get you retreating from him. Your step back drives the heartbreak further into his chest. He shakes his head in utter disagreement, a disgusted grimace on his features. “You're not. You're. not. I was foolish and childish, and I was not ready for you.”

“But you're ready now?” You interject in disbelief.

“Yes,” He states firmly without hesitation. He steps up again. This time, your body visibly tenses, but you don't move away. “I'm more than ready. I need you.” He takes another smaller, gentler step forward. “I hate that it took you leaving for me to see that, but I do.”

“Sy-”

“Please. Please. Don't say it's too late. Don't say we can't try again. Please, just one more chance.” He looks down abruptly like a private who just got caught looking at a superior officer. He's begging. He knows how he hurt you and your trust. Like a dog showing its belly, he's trying to show you his submission. Ultimately, it's in your hands, but he's determined.

You stare at him while trying to decipher the mess in your mind. “Sy.” You say a bit more calmly. His demeanor doesn't change. You sigh, “How do I know you wouldn't just fail back into old habits? What if, even after all this, you just repeat the same closed book bullshit? What's different?” You try to find his eyes, but they remain downcast as he stays still.

“I've been promoted.” He states a bit detached, poorly stating fact, anything you want from him. “I'd no longer be in the field, no longer deployed. I'd be in one place.” He purses his lips into another right frown. “It's the start of what we used to talk about.” He says, words laced with hope and nostalgia. “Remember?” He tests, voice as soft as silk. Your eyes sadden even more, looking down with a miniscule nod. “I can settle down. Stop putting myself in the line of fire every day. I'd come home to you every night, wake up with you every mornin’.” His eyes soften as they peer up at you through his dark eyelashes. “Get that dream house.” He raises his brows with soft eyes and a sigh of a grin.

“Sy.” He quickly follows with your name before you continue. The gentle way your name rolls off his tongue makes your heart race at a concerning rate. “I,” you sigh, “I can't just run back to you after all this time.” You scoff out a sad laugh.

“So, let's just start with a date.” He tries again softly, melting your heart in your chest. “No pressure, no expectations, just one do-over.” His eyes flutter softly as his eyes return to their submissive downcast. “A reintroduction to the people we've become. A second first date.” He concludes. You can't help but let out a soft giggle, skinny trying to hold yourself together. Though it's sad, Sy has never heard a more beautiful sound. His chest swells with hope.

It takes time for you to make up your mind, and he gives it to you. Your everything was already screaming at you to say yes, but you couldn't let him know that, so you took your time. “Okay.” You cave. Sy's brows shoot up, and his face breaks out into a huge, mouth agape smile. The image of pure overjoyed surprise.

He can't help himself but close the distance between you and scoop you in his arms, twirling you around, with a victorious laugh. The shock of it all and contagious joy causes you to let out a small giggle. He looks up at you in his arms and drops you down enough to plant a kiss on your lips. Though quick, the kiss was filled with nothing but longing and love.

As if realizing what's happened, he's quick to gently set you back down and take a step back, returning to the same distance you were at prior. He is a bit awkward with his hands before setting them on his hips. He still has a bright smile on his face, “I,” he huffs, “You have no idea how you've just made me the happiest man to ever exist.” He tries to just quickly move passed what just happened. “So, could I, maybe, get your number?” He says, trying his best to contain his joy.

You laugh, admittedly a little awkward. “It's the same one.” You fidget, “I can, uh, I'll unblock you, as long as you have the same number as well, I mean.” You stumble. He nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, it's the same one.” He sighs, content. His eyes are filled with admiration and adoration, like you hung the moon and stars single handedly. It was everything you ever wanted from him to see his love within him.

You quickly pull your phone out and unlock his number on the spot. “There.” You shoot him a quick text. Even after all this time, his tagname never changed in your phone. You hear his phone ding moments later, and he pulls it out with an even brighter smile and a sigh of relief. He never thought he'd see your name pop up in his notifications again. Once again, it's always the little things that are missed.

“Are you free this weekend? Friday night, maybe?” He asks. You give him a small smile and a nod. “Great! Great, I'll- I'll pick you up? We can get dinner after work and…start over.” He sighs. He's both a little sad and over the moon. He wants nothing more than to do a quick catch-up and just start pouring his love into you, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. You give another small smile.

“I can't wait.” You say. He nods curtly. “You can tell me all about your new job.” His face brightens at you, showing interest in him again. He steps forward to stand beside you, holding out his elbow.

“Let me walk you to your car.” You breathe out a small chuckle before hooking your hand in his elbow, taking back to the café parking lot. Just a few paces in, Sy leans in closer to you to whisper in a low tone, “I know we're going to go slow, but I just want to say… I missed you.” You look into his deep blue eyes before looking down at his mustached lips.

“I've missed you too.” You whisper back with a small smile.

The remainder of the work week, Sy was notably different, even getting some teasing comments from coworkers. Your friends tried tearing into you, asking why you suddenly looked like the life returned in you, but you kept your lips sealed. You were taking things one step at a time with Sy.

The most anyone got was “I have a date.”

____

I hope you liked it! Thank you so much for the request, Anon! I hope I did it justice. (sorry it took so long. I've been a bit under the weather😅)

Masterlist

Swisslist (General Taglist): @rosecentury @solacedthistest

#captain syverson fic #captain syverson x reader #captain syverson #captain syverson x you #captain syverson fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill #swiss fics #captain Syverson swiss fics #Henry cavill swiss fics

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captain039 · 8 months

Text

Intertwined with a mortal

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

Bridgerton x Astarion 👍🏻

Warnings: Olden times, swearing, age gap, tension, slow burn, vampire Mates, vampire things, angst, sexual, harassment, bigger reader, fat shaming, 18+, angst, Astarions trauma, anxiety, depression, learning to touch and love, big dislike for children lmao, AOB, artist reader, manipulation

Elves and humans will be the only races, they don’t like each other lmao. Baldurs gate will be built differently too, more like olden London(like Bridgerton) just called Baldurs gate xD

Think that’s it

Changing Karlach race to Human for this xD

Baldurs gate was known for its wealthy family’s and grand party’s at the alpha grand dukes palace, the grand duke Gortash was known for his handsome smirk and witty remarks as well as keeping the city in check. Upon social season the grand duke would hold a total of ten balls while some of the lower ranking members often had party’s once a week maybe less, depending it was an exhausting time.

You were not keen to flutter your eyelashes and drop your fan ‘accidently’ as some books suggested for the attention of a alpha suitor. Gods forbid you actually want to do something than marry and birth twenty children. Your father would often chuckle at your bold claims when you were only ten years of age, you would stomp your foot, say you were not going to have babies, they were hideous and ugly cried. Your mother would roll her eyes and sigh while your father would throw his head back and laughter before giving you a high five. As you got older though you realised that truely was your purpose, nothing else was approved for a young lady heading out into society. You dreamt of love though, seeing how your mother and father held a strong bond, you wanted that, wanted that connection with someone, a lover to call your own, a husband to indulge you as you indulged him, this was your first year running and your anxiety was higher than grand duke Gortashs highest tower. It was the first ball of the social season, lead by the alpha grand duke Gortash himself. You couldn’t shake the way your stomach churned all day, your mother was fussing over your dress, hair and makeup. You were ready to collapse on your bed, you’d already taken two years off the social season, begging your father mainly to allow you to study art. Problem was you were an only child and you had a duty to continue this line. Going to the actual ball was more nerve wracking than you wanted it, your mum still fussing over the way your dress sat. Your father would smack her hand lightly and she’d huff at him before she settled for a bit. When you arrived you held your fathers arm tightly, feeling overwhelmed. Your fathers calming scent was what you were trying to focus on as you entered the large palace. You were hit with music, chatter and too many scents. You gulped visibly as your father lead you in, you kept your head down instantly till your mother tsked and pushed your chin up. Your eyes darted to everybody and you wanted to hide behind your father.

“Just take a breath” your father said softly giving you a smile and patting your hand as a family approached, the Hallowleafs. You sighed a bit seeing their daughter Jen with them, her husband no where to be seen.

“Hello” she smiled and you smiled letting go of your fathers arm realising you must look stupid.

“How are you?” She added.

“Ok, nervous-“ you said and she chuckled softly.

“Nothing to fret about” she said going to stand by you and took your arm. You were thankful for the alpha as she scanned the grand hall.

“So have you picked anyone?” She asked and you froze cheeks going red as she laughed softly.

“Do I need to?” You whispered and she shook her head.

“If only we could, unfortunately the suitors come to you” she sighed lightly.

“Do I have to pretend to drop my fan?” You asked softly and she laughed rather loudly making her cover her mouth instantly as you laughed softly with her and she huffed at you.

“That only works in books trust me” she chuckled as you looked through the crowd knowing many of these faces. You frowned slightly though seeing a white haired elf, a duke you hadn’t seen in a while.

“Odd” you muttered and Jen frowned following your gaze.

“Duke Ancunin?” She asked and you nodded.

“I thought he never came to these?” You asked softly.

“Probably here to find something to warm his bed honestly, but you didn’t hear that from me” she rolled her eyes and you gave her surprised eyes.

“What? That’s all he does! Never had taken a potential partner” she huffed as you watched him. His white hair seemed to sit so perfectly against his face and elf ears, the elegant black and red clothes he wore sat perfectly on his body, gold embroidery adorning the suit. Lady’s even gentlemen surrounded him, he turned your way his handsome face coming into view, hooded eyes looking to you. You felt yourself freeze a bit as he stared at you through his pale lashes ignoring the group around him. You felt like he was staring right through you and quickly looked away, he probably wasn’t looking at you anyway.

“Oh the dancing starting” Jen said suddenly and you realised nobody had asked you to dance as they cleared the middle of the floor. Couples began to dance and you felt somewhat jealous, but shook the feeling off quickly.

“A dance milady?” You frowned glancing to your left seeing Duke Ancunin by your side, you hadn’t even heard him come over.

“Oh-“ you hesitantly glanced to Jen who gave you a cheeky smile making you groan internally.

“Of course” you said taking his hand as he lead you to the floor. You felt yourself shake a bit as you stood opposite of him with the other lady’s. you gave a courtesy before the men bowed. As the music began you stepped closer pressing your hands together before pulling back with a step before leading into a simple waltz, you could do this. Had your heart not been pounding and your mind so focused on the steps you might’ve engaged in conversation.

“You’re practically shaking my dear” he finally spoke and you looked to him cheeks hot.

“Apologies my Duke” you said embarrassed as you tried to steady your heart. You tried to focus on his scent his rank, but all you smelt was the cologne he used bergamot, rosemary, and brandy, no alpha, beta or omega undertones, just coldness. His body was cool too, not like your overheated one, he was firm to touch, but his whole body moved with elegance.

“Have you danced before?” He asked and you frowned slightly, was your dancing that bad?

“I’ve had my lessons, I’m sorry I’m not up to standard, my duke” your tone came out harsher than you meant, gods you would never find a suitor. He chuckled lightly though and you looked to him again, red eyes captivating you.

“I meant with a real partner, darling, you dance very well” he said voice lowering a bit to send a shudder up your spine.

“This is my first season” you whispered looking away.

“Is that why you’re shaking?” He asked head moving slightly closer to yours a small smile on his face.

“It’s nerve wracking yes” you said as he spun you around and brought you back in.

“I don’t like this many people to may scents, sounds” you babbled before realising what you’d done.

“Apologies my duke” you said wanting to disappear as you kept your eyes on his chest.

“Speak your mind darling, it does not bother me” he said and you felt yourself relax a little.

“I don’t usually dance at balls” he added and you looked up again.

“Are you not unmarried, why would you not?” You asked curiously his smile still there.

“Curious thing aren’t you?” He asked teasingly and you flushed.

“Sorry, again my duke” you mumbled.

“I do like how you say ‘my’ duke” he grinned and you felt your stomach flip.

“It is your title” you said quickly.

“Hm, but it sounds so sweet on your tongue” he had leant down to whisper that in your ear and your whole body tensed.

“I should go-“ you said quickly feeling your heart pounding as you pushed away and quickly retreated to your mother. You left him standing a frown on his face and people whispered softly.

“What happened? You were dancing so wonderfully” your mother cooed as you held her arm.

“Can we go please?” You begged hearing your heart beat loudly.

“Oh- of course sweetheart” she muttered calling over your father politely before you left.

The ride home you just stared out the window trying to ease your heart, you couldn’t think straight. Upon arriving home you ignored your mothers worried calls as you ran up the stairs and into your room. You fell on your bed screaming into the pillows which calmed you down a bit. You sighed rolling over onto your back with a loud huff afterwards and stared at the ceiling. You cursed the dress and got up struggling with the laces with a frustrated groan. A knock came and you tensed before hearing your fathers voice. He walked in slowly as you sat back down on the bed with a huff.

“What happened little flower?” He asked sitting by you.

“You were dancing amazingly with Duke Ancunin” he added.

“I’m not going to find a suitor” you stated and your father frowned.

“Why do you think that?” He asked.

“Because I-“ you growled in frustration standing up.

“I was shaking horribly, he picked up on it! Then I snapped at him!” You said frustrated as your father tensed a bit.

“What happened what did you and he say?” He asked.

“He asked if I ever danced with someone and I got defensive and said I’ve had lessons, I’m sorry it’s not up to your standard” you mocked and sneered.

“Oh boy” your father muttered.

“See! Can’t I just be sent off somewhere and die alone with my paintings?!” You sighed and sat back down dramatically.

“I’m afraid not, what happened after?” He asked.

“He laughed” you mumbled and your father relaxed.

“You didn’t offend him them, see?” He tried to encourage, but you just raised an eyebrow at him with a huff.

“Come now it’s your first ball, there will be more to come and you’ll have practise! Just because tonight went bad doesn’t mean they all will” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and tugged you to him. You gave in and sighed before giving a small nod.

“If it truely goes horrible this season I’ll see what I can do” he gave you a gently squeeze and a kiss on the head.

“For now, sleep, you’ll feel better tomorrow, who knows maybe your dance with the duke got you some attention” he shrugged and left with a soft goodnight before you laid back on your bed with a sigh.

The duke had frowned when you practically ran off from the dance floor to your mother and left. Apparently, his charms hadn’t worked on you, you were easy prey, young and fresh to the social season. When he saw you across the room he felt his fangs ache and his body being tugged your way. When your sweet sweet scent hit his nose he knew he must have you, hearing your blood pump through your veins like a melody was better than any music being played. Your warmth was radiating, he knew you’d be on fire with a single caress, he was going to have fun this season, you only needed some enticing.

Part 2

#astarion x reader #Duke astarion #x reader #aob #acsended astarion #bg3 #vampires #Bridgerton inspired

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rasshu-benaio · 5 months

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❄️Winter Gyutaro Headcanons❄️

I don’t believe i made a headcanon list before but since I’ve seen millions of them, i want to try. this is how my specific Gyutaro headcanons would go during winter!

-This will contain (x Reader) but not all will be

- Is vague enough to be either romantic or platonic

Gyutaro hates Winter: it’s obvious he would despise the cold season the most; its the hardest season to survive in and it brung back some uncomfortable feelings from lost human memories. Especially that day when he had found Ume… it was the coldest day in his life, it seemed

Gyutaro is less active: Its common knowledge that demons aren’t bothered by simple earthly things like weather, but Gyutaro finds comfort in warmer weather. His malnourished frame doesn’t help him either as his bones crack and ache. Often, he’ll find himself cradled within Daki or within the warm house of his prized person.

Gyutaro is miserable and depressed more: this demon has always been pessimistic but just like many humans, he gets hit with seasonal depression and it hits him hard. So hard that Daki will hunt more to compensate for his lack of enthusiasm. One time, he stayed face down on the ground in Daki’s room for hours, just being depressed because she was out.

He secretly likes the holidays: Gyutaro doesn’t particularly believe in any sort of holiday but he will use them to indulge in Daki. He will pamper his little sister with stolen fabrics and jewels from far away to make her shine with happiness.

His smell is bearable: Since he’s less active and its not horrendously hot, Gyutaro’s bodily odor doesnt come off as bad! Plus, this is the one time he will wash up at vacant hot springs. Hot water relaxing his tension, the steam concealing his figure, maybe a quick snack too if someone catches a glimpse him too.

He’s slightly weaker: after all that time, he hunted less than he should’ve so he does seem weaker after the new years… hes already thin as is but it hurts your heart to see him walk slower, move with less power. He reminds you of those old scraggly stray dogs walking in the snow covered city…

Hes vulnerable/emotional: Despite being so close to him; he never opens up about his current problems to you or Daki but during winter, his shell cracks ever so slightly! If you are perceptive enough, you may be able to nurse his traumatic scars just a little bit. It may not be much, but to him, its the world.

( This actually isnt based off of Rasshu x Gyutaro for once, i just know a bit of Gyutaro stans that are really sweet so, yeah… its based off of those peeps even tho i know they wont beable to see this cuz tumblr be damned to them grawhaha )

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psychoticallytrans · 11 months

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Being a disabled man results in specific problems because of the way that men are viewed in society.

For instance, we are commonly viewed as aggressive sex pests. A double edged approach of this is seen with autistic men, where awkward attempts to talk are often seen as creepy flirting (Notably, studies show a sharp communication gap when autistics and allistics interact), and where actual intrusive behavior far beyond awkward words is sometimes played off as "Well, maybe he's autistic?", further cementing the idea of autistic men as naturally sexually predatory.

This is a result of the presumed incompetence of being disabled melding with the idea that men and boys are naturally sexually aggressive. Disabled men are presumed to be less able to control themselves, and therefore are perceived as an amplified threat above that of abled men.

In reality, disabled men are estimated to experience extremely high rates of abuse, with about two thirds of the men in this sample experiencing domestic abuse. Men with disabilities are 4.2 times more likely to be forced to penetrate their rapist than abled men. Disabled men are vulnerable, but portrayed as threatening.

The perception of men as aggressive and disabled men as uncontrolled hits a particularly insidious note with the skewed gender ratio of diagnoses of ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), a diagnosis that is notorious both for racial bias and for leading to incredibly poor treatment by doctors. Disabled Black men are statistically one of the groups most vulnerable to the violence of the justice system of the United States, with 55% of them being arrested at least once by age 28.

The idea that men have to be providers hits disabled men especially hard. Disabled men have an unemployment rate of 7.8%, and when that's coupled with the decrease in self esteem and increase in depression seen in unemployed men, it doesn't paint a happy picture for us. Being unemployed makes people view men as less of men, and men judge themselves the most harshly.

The fact that manhood is seen as a default or neutral state also has a huge impact on the availability of overtly gender-specific research. Compiling the sources in this posts took substantially longer that it took me to put together a similar presentation on women when I was in middle school and substantially less experienced with research.

There were several subjects here that I wanted to tackle due to personal knowledge of how systemic issues affect disabled men, but I was unable to come up with research that separated out men by gender, or less ideally sex, in the results. In particular, I wanted to find information on how likely disabled men are to go to the doctor when they have an issue, compared to abled men, and, if possible, their reasoning for why they did not. Interpersonally, I find that disabled men are often more hesitant to go to the doctor than abled ones, for reasons ranging from fear of medical abuse, to feeling like they can or should be able to tough it out, to simply not having the money.

I want to stress that the issue was not that research had found that men didn't have that problem, but that the specific literature about men did not exist, or, at least, not where I could find it. I consider it likely that the degendering of disabled people is also contributing to this issue. Disablity and manhood intersect in ways that create specific forms of harm for disabled men. Overlooking this overlooks a good deal of the harm that disabled men experience. We deserve better.

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weebsinstash · 11 months

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What if Miguel gives you a suit anyway even if you're not a spider person to protect you? 👀👀 one that moves when it senses danger so he's less worried about you when he's not there (but also with commands only he knows and really only he can disable? 👀👀👀). Reader can't take the suit off and realizes too late 👀👀👀👀 (I'm user filthdumpformeself btw)

Godddddddd it would open Reader up for some real manipulation and potential abuse. To be a NORMIE? At least some of these characters are scientists and inventors, but if you're just a powerless civilian, you'd be almost jumping at the opportunity to be something more, to mean something in this super-powered world you're in

I mentioned in another idea, 'what if Reader lost their home universe and they live where the Spider Society is' and you just 24/7 have to have a bracelet on or you'll glitch out and no on will know what will happen. Usually you'd return to your home universe, but since YOU don't have one, would you just POP! cease to exist? He never tells you, but the thought TERRIFIES Miguel, and once a week he's making sure to personally perform routine exams on your wristwatch to make sure it's functioning. So imagine if he eventually expanded on that. The suit would need some sort of source to project out of, so he combines it withe the bracelet. You still need to bathe after all!

As a person with a physical disability, I often think about and well, grieve over the abilities and physical fitness I'll never be able to have, and I think Reader in this scenario would have a similar experience. You're a normie surrounded by superheroes and genius scientists and they're all doing flips and hanging upside down and have zero fear of heights and natural invulnerability and EVERYTHING! You're in Spiderman Super Central and you're the only one who isnt allowed to be in the super special big boy club. It would make you so isolated and depressed, especially because like, Nueva York looks HUGE, so like there's definitely parts where all the normal people live, but Miguel insists you live in the Society to keep an eye on your bracelet (and also to keep you around)

This is where you're vulnerable to the manipulation and potentially having to do whatever he asks. You're DESPERATE for the freedom and fun and feeling of fulfillment only the suit can provide. It's a proverbial carrot he's dangling over your head. You want your powers back? Behave yourself. Do whatever he wants.

Just imagine it. You're high on the euphoria of getting to run around with other spiders and actually have some sort of purpose and, a new Spidey friend of yours is like "hey I got some goons in my home universe, what if you tagged along?" And suddenly Miguel is getting a little ping on his own bracelet "bracelet number 8364937 whatever tf just warped to coordinates XYZ" and he FLIPS OUT. They had you exposed to danger? They had you fighting?! And he storms all the way over there to see you're actually doing great and fighting fine, but so much of that is the suit, and you and him start an argument until he snaps. He didn't give you this suit to run around in suicide missions, and he scolds you not to do this again.

Snapcut to him finding out you did it again, and even confronting you WHILE another Spider is showing you the ropes and letting you train and fight (who will receive a severe punishment for it later). The two of you just start really arguing as you vent your feelings of uselessness and anger on him, maybe even saying something like "you can't just... try and CONTROL ME like this! You gave this to me, it should be mine to use!" And he just looks at you coldly. "You're right. I AM the one who gave it to you." And suddenly he's hitting a button and, you're still standing there in a suit strikingly visually similar to his own, but you can feel the exoskeleton kind of slack off your body, you feel heavier, and when you storm away from him angrily, you find out that your suit has had every function disabled. Every single one. No slinging webs, no defying gravity, no invulnerability, no super strength. Your Spider friends invite you for a swing around the city? You have to tearfully turn them down, and suddenly you're all isolated again. You're having to constantly turn down your friends and watch everyone have fun without you until you're going back to Miguel in tears, begging for his forgiveness, asking him what you can do for his forgiveness. PLEASE don't do this, with that suit you could help out around the Society and in other dimensions, or, you could at least just live a fun life in this place, and you're begging him with tears, PLEASE please please don't take away your new purpose

Not to mention you would have no idea but he can just constantly spy on you. He can find your location, he can listen in to your conversations and I imagine if you're all suited up, that he can potentially even control your movements. You mouth off and he just crosses his arms, "ok then. Power suit, activate protocol TO-1H" and suddenly your legs are marching you to your room and forcing you to give yourself a time out for an hour and he's monitoring you on a SpiPad while you cry by yourself and he can hear you whimpering all your private thoughts. "I just want to mean something... why is he doing this to me..."

An idea I had for the Spider Reader vs Evil OTHER Spider Reader which can also be applied here is, like, imagine you start clearly sinking into a depression during one of your "no spidey time" punishments and you're just feeling alone and sad as you eat in the food court with other Spiders and you're just looking down at the watch and suddenly you just say "do you think if I took this off I would die?"

The entire fucking cafeteria has their Spidey Sense go off and everyone looks at you. And you force a laugh, feeling super awkward as your face burns, and before you can laugh out "it was just a joke", something is casting a shadow over you, and you look up to see Miguel towering over you, one of the rare occasions he came out to socialize with other people. To try and eat with YOU. And he just heard you say THAT? THAT'S when he decides, you know what, I'm making this bracelet/suit unable to be taken off without special permissions 😤 no suicide or leaving allowed

But I imagine even if he doesn't want to see you taking risks and potentially getting hurt, he probably feels so warm and fuzzy and proud when he's teaching you new Spidey things and you pick up on then and do a good job and he praises you and you hit him with a big smile that makes his heart melt as he decides, ok, MAYBE he can let you play with your little suit, but only because it gives him more excuses to spend time with you ❤️

#atsv #yandere spiderverse #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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casablancarossa · 2 months

Text

All I need is you.

<<an [18+] taemin x reader story>>

Pairings : Taemin x female!reader

Genre: Smut, Mini Angst. Extra Extra Mini Fluff

Content Warning : 18+, Minors DNI, Unprotected Sex, Implications of SelfHarm/Depression. Pillow Talk

Synopsis: Taemin was no-show which left you feeling pretty down and unwanted, but its Taemin and he will do anything to make sure you no longer doubt how much he wants you.

Authors Note: It's long, its steamy. So here ya go darlings. BTW, while this is a continuation of 'Please Amore', didn't realize I was going to write about mirrors again. With a man this good looking, of course he would have a inclination towards mirrors.

Also I refuse to be held liable for how long this post is.. I couldn't write one moment and suddenly I couldn't stop writing.. So Yeah.

God bless the metamorph concerts.. so many pics to use .

Enjoy Reading!!

"So... amore.."

Taemin's dulcet call doesn't even come close to budging you out of your position in bed. Poor guy is practically unprotected in bed as you had managed to form a cocoon out of the blanket and remained in there, huffing something about a forgotten date or plan, or something along those lines. His arms reach out, placing a hand on the soft covers, pushing it down far enough so that he could see your face.

You were far from impressed and it will take every inch of your being from being livid and if your boyfriend was not so damn adorable, you would have probably used the pillows and hit him repeatedly until its feathery innards exploded. "You made me wait like a fool... in front of the company building, no less." you hissed through your teeth. The cocoon you were in had finally exploded, chucking it towards Taemin, immediately walking towards the door.

Not even the beckoning meows of Kkoong stopped you from huffing and immediately dropping onto the couch, grabbing the throw to cover your legs.

"Y/n-ah, you know I didn't mean to bail" Taemin's voice called out from the bedroom. It was followed by the noises of slippers shuffling on the floor as he waddles out, now cocooning himself with the blanket. He moves towards you and really pushing the cute act, plopping down to lay on top of you. "I'm sorry..." he mumbles, burying his head on your lap.

"One night, Taemin. All I wanted was one night" you sighed, folding your arms to stop yourself from dropping an ounce of affection.

"When I get back from Japan, I promise, we can have a fully week of uninterrupted date nights."

"No point now is there", you huffed quietly.

Being in the same room as Taemin made your heart break, and the more physical distance there is between you, the better it is, letting the silence heal your wounded ego.

With Taemin's schedule suddenly ramping up since his concert and amongst TV appearances and being holed up in the studio, you had rarely seen him the last two weeks. Maybe three. Within that time period, Taemin had flaked out on maybe four planned dates. Two of which he planned himself, but at least you were at home and half ready, so it didn't bother you. Three if you included tonight, but this time you had gotten ready and stood outside SM's building for over an hour, and only got the text from Taemin saying there was traffic it'll probably be an hour or two before he gets home. When you asked for an elaboration, no response.

It wasn't like Taemin to not respond and you were too annoyed to rationalize his actions, immediately jumping to the worse conclusions an angry woman could possibly think of. He is either cheating, or he is dying, and the former seemed more likely in your head. Now, you know, Taemin wouldn't dare enter an affair, honestly you didn't think it was possible, but Taemin would always be upfront about missing things due to schedule because it was his way of facing accountability. It was no secret that he has picked his schedule over you at times, not intending malice, but he would often think these things would be done on time and he would be home in time for you.

Your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall as it quietly ticked. 2:15. It had gotten so late and it dawned on you that you had been moping for over 3 hours and Taemin had only walked through the door maybe an hour ago. "I'm going for a shower, then go to bed. You should sleep, you still have an early schedule tomorrow", you mumbled, shifting your body so that Taemin's head would drop on the seat of th couch.

His eyes followed your hunched figure making way to the bathroom, noting how hard you were trying to act casual. Act as if you weren't pissed at all, but he could see it in your face. How your lips curled down to a frown and your eyes seemed void of any emotion. Taemin quietly remained on the couch, waiting for the sound of water hit the floor. It puzzled the man that he didn't hear music coming from your end, usually your shower times would always have music in the background. The bathroom was your studio and you thought that the shower was loud enough to hide your singing, but this time it was silent. At that moment it clicked in Taemin's head that you were really not happy.

Filled with enough resolve to pull an all-nighter, Taemin would try to make you feel better, even at the cost of sleep. He might as well tidy up and create a cozy space for you, grabbing the plushies that were resting on the windowsill and throwing them to the bed.

As he was chaotically, setting out the comfy pillows and blankets, the string lights and the scented candles, Taemin noticed the mess of clothes, roughly kicked under the bed along with a pen cap. He thought of the situation as odd, investigating the clothes and noticing that it was one of the dresses he bought for you. White silk with lace trims and pen marks just at the hem.

Taemin put two and two together and dropped everything he was doing so he could sneak to the bathroom to see if his assumptions were correct. And it was. He managed to crack the door slightly and through the reflection of the bathroom mirror, he could see parts of your body, covered in pen marks, specifically in writing and he didn't need to read it to know the contents of it.

Often, during your 'low' days, instead of wallowing in sadness and damaging your health, you would write the demeaning thoughts that raptured your brain. The comments were harsh, hurtful and downright despicable, but they were words to yourself and usually at the end of the night, Taemin would carefully wash away those words, filling you with words of affirmation and making sure that you knew how amazing you are, how strong you are, how beautiful you are and how grateful he is to have a partner like you.

"Amore? I'm coming in.."

The voice snapped you out of your zombied state, looking up to see Taemin, open the door a bit more as he watches you carelessly scrubbing at your thigh trying to get the writing off. Your body spin slightly to hide yourself, you didn't want him to see you like this. In your head, you have been doing so well, but after being bailed on, your insecurities were set to over 9000 and with so many female idols professing their crush on Taemin, you suddenly felt unwanted.

The feeling of the warm shower felt nice against your skin, but Taemin's timid kisses on your shoulder had caught you off guard, suddenly feeling as if fire coated your body. "Don't take my job away from me", his husky whisper, caused the hair on your neck to stand and soon your body was shifted to sit on the edge of the bathtub next to the shower.

You looked up again to see that Taemin had not taken off his clothes, subsequently getting soaked, as he adjusts the shower head so at least the stream could reach your feet from where you were sat. His hands grabs the sponge and soap and began working on the space just above your knees. "If you had told me, I would have dropped everything..."

"I don't want to be that type of person who disrupts her boyfriend's schedule.."

"I don't care. If I had known that you had a bad morning, I would have re-scheduled everything for after Japan.."

"It's fine amore... It's just a stupid overreaction.." your voice was a low whisper barely audible but there was a hitch on your throat that let Taemin know, it was anything but an overreaction. In part, he could tell it was his fault.

"So what did you write?", he asks despite having already read the legible parts before he scrubbed it off.

"Oh you know.. the usual stuff.." you began, feeling at ease as most of the ink had faded, becoming illegible enough that you or Taemin couldn't read it. "..mostly, how much I hate you.", you finally teased.

"That's fair. You could hate me all you want. But, I still love you", Taemin beamed despite letting out a defeated sigh, his hands carefully massage your calves with much earnestly as his head lowers to plant a trail of kisses on your thighs.

"You sure? Am I not too.. much?"

"Never..." Taemin placed an arm on either side of you, propping himself up so he could kiss your lips, pushing a little harder at your reciprocation. "All.. I ever wanted.. All I ever needed is here in front of me", he breathes out slowly, staring at you as your foreheads press together.

"I'm sure... you have said that plenty of times.." you sighed defeatedly, pulling away so you could grab the sponge and continue scrubbing at your arms, bending it at odd angles to get everything off.

You were no stranger to letting Taemin be fully aware of your insecurities and fears. You have been together for a while now and maybe his enlistment helped you stay secure, but now that he is out an about, it kind of itched at the back of your head. You weren't conventionally the type of girl that Taemin had relationships with. He is deceptively close to a lot of the female stylists, and heck up until recently, worked with an ex until the end of the 'Guilty' promotions.

"Don't speak like that.. I hate that you think that you don't deserve being loved.. especially from an idiot like me". Taemin's words were so adamant and full of intent that it caught you off guard.

There was a moment of silence that clouded room and Taemin took the opportunity to rid your body from any more nasty words. You watched him closely still trying to decipher the faded letters on your skin, frowning as he makes his own assumptions and then frowning at you disapprovingly before leaving kisses whenever he successfully scrubs a bad word off. As he turns off the shower, you observed how clothes were sticking onto his body and you couldn't help but admire how he kept his physique.

Gods. I don't deserve you. You let out a scoff, laughing to yourself of how stupid you were feeling. But seeing Taemin look equally hurt, washed all those worries and anger that was directed at him.

He flashed an endearing smile towards you, crouching down so that you were at the same eye level. "Y/N-ah, I will spend the rest of my days, trying to show you how much I love you.. if you'd let me", his last words were cut off by him placing another kiss at your lips, settling himself in between your legs. quickly wrapping your legs around his waist so he could pick you up.

"Woah, woah wait, Taemin, I'm still drenched. We're both wet mops!" you squealed as your body get lifted from your seat, wrapping yourself around Taemin's torso, trying not to slip. See he was surprisingly strong. You had thanked Minho for that, and you weren't necessarily lighter than Taemin either, being on a thicker side but he swears he loves that about you. More to love, he says.

You both giggled like little school children as Taemin carries you back to the bedroom, while in your head you cursed yourself for needing to go back out to clean the trail of water droplets before it causes an accident. But by the time your body had been dropped onto the fluffy blanket that Taemin had set out, all thoughts had left your head. The room was surprisingly warm and warmly lit too. Your head tilted back to see the string lights had been set up and the smell of peonies and vanilla covered the room. You were so distracted, you didn't even see Taemin trying to herd Kkoong and Daeng out of the room as he closes the door behind him.

It didn't take long either, but soon you found yourself under Taemin as he crawls on top of you, staring into your eyes lovingly. He couldn't help but be mesmerized at how much you were like a ray of sunshine to him. He would never let anything harm you. Not even himself.

That being said, on closer inspection of your body, he could tell by the faint bruising on the intimate parts of your body, that recently he had been rough in bed with you and while you didn't complain, he was aware he needed to show his affection and need for you in a more gentle manner this time. "Amore? Can I love your body as well please?" he asks so sweetly that you could only cup his face, and turn your head away, trying to not get embarrassed.

There was something pure about every time Taemin asks for permission. Usually he takes what he wants and it drives you insane (in a good way), but when he tries to be more loving about it, it felt like it was the first time for both of you; playful, clumsy, shy, always asking if things are okay and whether a line was crossed. But Taemin had done it so beautifully where sex was at your own pace and intensity, at moments like these, you were in charge, not in the dominant sense, but in general. Yes, he'd still dominate you, but it felt different. Instead of being the obediant submissive, that succumbed to the naughty wiles of your boyfriend, you felt like you were his only air to breath, a goddess to worship.

Taemin did revel when you are like this though. To see you flushed on the bed, when your legs would twitch and rub against each other when his finger would graze down your torso. Delicately, he would trace down from your lips, down your neck and over the hill of your breast and down your stomach. It was tantalizing and almost overbearing for you to handle. His movement was light as a feather and would apply enough pressure to on certain parts to bring you back to him.

Quickly, Taemin peels his wet shirt off his body, sighing in comfort before turns his attention to you again.His body shifts a little bit, lowering his body onto yours, bringing his lips to your ears. "I know this isn't enough to make up for tonight.. " his low shuddering voice, caused your to mewl, rolling your head aside, exposing the areas, you needed him to stimulate.

Slowly, resting his weight on your body, he leaves tantalizing kisses on your neck and collarbone, repeatedly whispering your name as if it was the only word he knows. His devious hands roam the sides of your body before quickly grasping the back of your knee on one leg and pulling it up to wrap around his waist. The movement caused his hips to thrust gently, making you feel through his sweatpants, his bulge, protruding and grinding onto your naked core.

A bare moan barely escaped your throat before Taemin occupied your vacant lips, weighing down in the kiss with so much need and urgency. You were suddenly in a daze when he left your lips and targeted your breasts. Just a little nip made your body almost sit up but Taemin shot down that reaction by keeping a firm palm just on the middle of your chest, essentially, holding you down.

Taemin had always played like this, being so agonizingly slow and unpredictable and his tongue darted out, lapping at your nipples before sucking on the area around it. Your back arches upward, feeling the built up tension forming in between your legs and suddenly you were need to feel something more and not even grinding through his sweatpants is going to cut it.

"Amore.. please.." you whimpered shyly, turning your head to stare at the wall, using one of your hands to cover your face.

"Hm?"

"Please take me.."

"I don't think you're being serious", he lets out a soft giggle, teasing you as he sits up, trying to shift down the band of his sweats, pushing down his boxers as well.

Seeing his dick pop out all the sudden made your eyes roll, biting your lip and mumbled your initial statement under your breath, horribly failing at controlling yourself.

"Oh.. I guess, I should put this away then.." his voice was so playful that it ticked a nerve.

"Oh for the love of god Taemin, please!" your tone was a mixture of desperation and annoyance, but as you tried to sit up to scowl at him, Taemin with his best effort, pinned you back down on the bed again.

Taemin was holding you down by the shoulders, boring a hole through you with his eyes, but you were so flushed and excited that you couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Your body however was telling a different story as your legs have parted, allowing Taemin to slot himself in the middle, now with shaft pressed in between your bodies.

Carefully, one of his hands, held onto yours, bringing up just to the side of your head. His other hand reaches down and guides his member just to your heated core, gently pushing himself in until he was fully engulfed in you. The slow spread made you wince. Naturally with Taemin's busy schedule, there wasn't really enough time to have sex constantly and that left you feeling pretty tight, as if you walls forgot the shape of his dick.

"Oh...fuck", he hisses, if it felt too tight around him, god knows how it must be for you. "Are you okay? Do you want me to take it slow?"

Your head feverishly shakes from side to side, assuring him that you're okay, gently patting your hand on his arm, mouthing the words 'keep going'.

One slow movement out and Taemin quickly thrusts his hips, causing a jolt in your senses, covering your mouth with the back of your free hand to prevent any loud noises. Your boyfriend frowned, adjusting himself so he could finally lower his torso on top of yours.

"No no, I want to hear you", following through his words by resting head in the direction your face was pointed at, close enough that his ear was pressed against your lips.

Wasting no time, Taemin moves his hips again, finally hearing the soft yelp that left your lips, whimpering needlessly as your body feels overwhelmed with how you were coming undone beneath him. Every time he snaps his hips forward, you could feel your legs raise each time, groaning as he hits new depth in you in this manner, which made you mumble profanities into his ear.

Snickering, Taemin tries to reach upwards, grabbing a pillow before kissing you gently on the lips, his sudden slow pace winds you down before fully pulling away.

"My my amore.. look how wet you are" his eyes practically shined seeing your legs spread, seeing how your region was throbbing from suddenly feeling empty.

"Shut up..." you could only manage to whine before you felt his hands snake under you, pulling your hips up so he can place the fluffed up pillow under you.

As he attempts to push your hips and legs further up and closer to your chest, so he can scoot himself closer to you, your hands immediately dart forwards, digging your nail into his arm to catch his attention. Taemin slightly raised his head, his eyes were so dark and like a mist of lust had clouded over them and he was trying to hard not to lose control around you.

You could only flash a sweet smile before struggling slightly to raised you hand, enough for your fingers to caress his cheeks before using your other arm to lever you upwards, enough so that you could reach to tug at Taemin's hair before pushing his head down slightly.

"Clean me." the soft request from you was met with a low growl from Taemin before smirking at you. He was more than happy to comply, quickly shuffling downwards so his face was mere inches from your groin.

"Say it again...", he whispered,, casting a cool breath on your pelvic area, slowly blowing a trail further down, waiting for your words.

"Please clean me, amo---ahh", you could barely finish your statement before Taemin's tongue dart out, giving your clit a tentative lick, placing the flat muscle firmly against it. He loved how you moaned uncontrollably. He knew how much it took within you to ask him to basically eat you out. While you had no issue sucking his pretty little soul out of his dick; eating you out at your request was not something you did often. It usually got you going quick, and the orgasms you would experience is far from your general orgasms, you knew that, he knew that.

It wasn't long before his lips cascaded downwards, forming a suction at your entrance and happily sucking up the trail of wetness that managed to form and drip from your core. The way he lapped his tongue around the entrance of your pussy could drive you insane. but Taemin being Taemin, he couldn't help himself.

Mustering enough strength, he finally hoists your legs around his shoulders, while he sat up to a kneeling position. Taemin's arms wrapped so tightly around your waist, not only to keep the lower half of your body upwards, but he was ready to devour you.

It was already hard on your to almost balance your weight on your shoulders and if it weren't for Taemin's grip around your form, you would have been rendered helpless, quivering, when his tongue descends into your pussy, twirling his tongue for a bit before attacking the main prize once more, back to your clit. You had been so overwhelmed that your bud was so sensitive to any type of friction and when Taemin decided to continuously flick at it with his tongue before giving it a quick suck, its like hot white flashes burned into your eyelids.

You wouldn't last long in this state, not that it mattered to your boyfriend, he was more than determined to let you orgasm in his mouth. "F-fu..ck, Taem... fuck.." you could only muster two words repeatedly as your legs almost clench around his head and suddenly you had enough strength to indeed balance your weight on your shoulders, arching your back and needlessly grabbing onto his dark locks.

In response, Taemin's efforts were doubled. "Cum for me". His words vibrated through as his hold went from around your body, to white knuckle death grip on your hips, making sure you couldn't escape even if you tried. And there you would finally grace his tongue with your orgasm as your legs twitched endlessly and a squeal finally breaks free from throat. He would diligently lap it all up, making sure not a single drop was wasted.

"Mm, such a good tasting girl" Taemin chuckles before finally letting your body drop to the bed, letting your catch your breath. "What do you think Amore? Should I finally fuck you again? Or should I make you watch me show you how amazing your body is?"

His questions piqued your curiosity, you obviously wanted nothing more than Taemin in you. You've been so needy for him that not even rummaging through your collection of sex-toys could please you, but because you took to long to respond, it was practically obvious you wanted to see what the second suggestion meant.

The devilish man, finally smiled, leaning down to give your forehead a quick peck before shuffling to the other edge of the bed, holding your hand and guiding you to sit with him on his side. He motions for you to stay where you are as he gets up to scoot the clothing rack, meant for robes/towels/clothing ready to be worn for the day, aside , revealing a wide full body length mirror.

Quizzically darting your eyes between your reflection and his, you were snapped out of your confusion when Taemin gently lifts your head by your chin with his finger, leaning down to capture your lips, softly moaning your name out.

"My love... my life...", he's doing it again. The low rumble in his voice, the voice only you hear in private. Desperation, desire all molded into a sweet tone as he kisses down your neck and out your shoulders. "My sunshine.... Y/N.. Amore", he continues on as he moves back to the bed, kneeling behind you as he pulls you just slightly back from the edge, enough so that you could lean back and rest on his chest.

Equally, Taemin's frame shrinks just slightly so he can bury his face on the crook of your neck, lavishly decorating it with kisses and little nips to stir a sound out of you. A hand reaches down between your legs, fingers tauntingly circling around your clit once more before a lone finger knocks at the entrance of your pussy, slightly pushing in.

That sensation alone was enough for your head to rock back against Taemin's shoulders, mewling slightly with your eyes closed, while his actions beforehand was weird (to you at the very least), all those questions and worries were out the window when a second finger joined the first, gently spreading your apart. It wasn't his dick, but by God was Taemin talented with his fingers. Being skilled in playing the piano only meant good things for you, naughty things for you. Taemin eagerly pumps his digits on and out of you before hooking them to look for a sweet spot. A spot that would knock out your senses before you knew it.

Once you let out a breathless gasp, he knew he had found that sweet spot and continuously massaged it, stimulating it, all the while you had not even noticed a third finger already in you, stretching your tight hole more than you could ever dream. The slick noises your pussy made drove Taemin insane. The fact you could feel him grind his hard-on on the small of your back, drove you insane. You feel the hard muscle twitch so hard behind you, it was practically slapping against your skin and the thought of it plowing in and out you, had you soaking.

It didn't take long but your legs were fully spread open, one leg raised up on the bed and the other still somewhat planted on the bed with your foot on the floor, on your tiptoes. You had become a whimpering mess only chanting your mantra of Taemin's name and God. You tried so hard not to clamp your legs shut because it could be game over if you tightened around his fingers, but something in your started stirring and the pressure built up once more.

Taemin uses his free hand to move your head to look at the mirror, whispering into your ear. "I want you to watch... I need you to see", and with that he shifted his weight, focus and energy on the hand that pleasure you. He pumped in and out of you one last time until his middle and ring finger were knuckle deep into you before hooking up and down in a crane like motion.

You finally mustered the energy and attention to look at the mirror. Oh. So this is what he wanted you to see, to make you see how much he knows your body, how much he coveted it.

"I want you to see how beautiful you are.. how much I burn for you", he callously whispered into your ear. "Look at yourself amore, look at us.."

Like he said, because he was sitting behind you, you couldn't see his face, but now you could see, how your mewls excited him, how when your lips part to sing his name, it caused him to bite his lips, and when your head would roll to the side, he would take a deep breath in, inhaling and absorbing your scent. There was something in his demeanour and actions, everything you did had an effect on him and oh boy his damn eyes. His damn eyes gave him away. He looked at you like you were his reason to live, he looks at you like he was the fucking luckiest man on earth because you chose him. Despite the ups and downs, he had you and to know that he could witness you like this, it was perfect.

While your head may be resting onto his chest, face slightly away, your eyes were still fixed on your reflection. There was something hot about it. To see yourself come undone, a whimpering broken mess on the merit of his fingers alone.

His arms and general hand was still, but you could feel his fingers manoeuvre wildly in your and suddenly those squelches became more audible. His spare hand roams around your torso, grabbing at whatever as he is in deep focus trying to achieve what you didn't know your body could do.

As the pace of his fingers intensify, so did your breathing. Suddenly it was ragged, quick paced like you had ran a marathon and the slight brush of his thumb against your clit, was the final catalyst that sent you to a different type of nirvana. The pressure you felt was not just another orgasm. You watched your reflection as Taemin had managed to make squirt, spraying onto the floor and mostly pooling in his hand. But he didn't stop there, he quickly pulled out his fingers out of you, quickly brushing his hand like a fan over your entire pussy and clit , making the spray more dispersed eliciting more than just a squeal, it was more like a guttural scream that had your whole body convulsing.

The moment had you collapsing onto the bed, narrowly avoiding Taemin, as you try to catch your breath, half rolling your torso around the bed. "Holy... good fuck..." you gasped out, suddenly your mouth felt dry and your throat felt drier. "Wha.. what the fuck amore" you let out a low chuckle, slightly bewildered that happened.

"Soon it won't just be my fingers that makes that happen" he giggles, reaching over to give your ass a little smack. "How about it Amore?", his body turns to face you slightly.

Your head whips to look up at him and his erection standing proud, you were so dazed that you didn't even expect your body to move on its own accord. Suddenly you were on your knees and elbows, on all fours, hunched over and eagerly placing Taemin in your mouth. Gratifying him his own moment of pleasure. After what you just experienced, this is the least you could do to thank him.

Once your lips had formed a seal, enough to make a pop when you pulled away, Taemin whined. It wasn't just you, him too, sensitive aching to feel bliss. For a moment the thought crossed both of you minds, you were only sucking him off to give your pussy a break, but none of you could complain. Well, Taemin would, but feeling the back of your throat with his dick sent him on whirl. He didn't even need to hold the back of your head to keep you down, you were so willing already to take as much of him in your mouth.

It took a lot of self-control not to grab your hair and push you down so hard that you couldn't breathe, but eventually Taemin buckles, his body arching forward as he braces himself on your back. The motion of your tongue swiping on the underside of his dick before puckering your cheeks in to create the sweet vacuum he would empty himself in.

Soft groans would only escape Taemin now as you head repeatedly bobs up and down his shaft, tantalizing the tip with your tongue, playfully placing kisses on his pelvis as you move to pump him with your hand. He straightens himself, head rolled back, slowly losing the ability to stay in control and you could only look up to see his chest rising and sinking rapidly each time your grip tightened just enough. The way his adam's apple with also bob on his neck as he struggles to speak. "N...no..."

"Do you want me to stop?" your voice steeped in panic.

Taemin shakes his head, chuckling in amusement.

"D-did I do something wrong?", now you sounded worried, shifting to sit up in the same kneeling position Taemin is in.

"Relax amore.. tonight was supposed to be all about you..." he whispered.

You yelped as he grabs you by the shoulders, pulling you towards him as he throws you down onto the bed, quickly positioning himself on top of you in a straddle. His hands navigate to search for yours before clasping and pinning them on either side of your head. You both giggle as you faux struggle against his grip, attempting to lean upwards to peck the corner of his lips.

"I'm serious.. Y/N, tonight is all about you, I'm here to make you feel pleasure.. love... joy... all the good things in the world, my amore" Taemin cooes as he looks down at you.

His eyes were so different again. There was glimmer in those chocolate pools that captivated you and the way he smiles at you made your heart skip a beat because gosh, his smile would be the solution to any shiity day possible. The way he would laugh, or pout when he is being a bratty boyfriend; the way he would nonchalantly do gentlemanly things without even you asking him to do it.

"Taem..you don't... you don't need to do all of that. I already know it.." you sighed as you managed to slip your hands away from Taemin's hold, finally allowing your arms to hook around his neck and pull him down. "You're such an idiot.. but I love you so much Amore" you giggled before pecking his lips.

Taemin smiled once more, deeming that one kiss was not enough, going for another one. Then another one. Followed by a third.. a fourth and essentially you two were back to making out again. Ravenously chasing each other lips, how your tongues would battle for dominance, or how you two would bite each other's lips as a way to communicate. A quick nip would be a 'please I need you', a long swipe of the teeth would be a 'show me how much you want me', but a long bite, followed by the pulling of the other lip was a 'i'm begging you'; and that is what would happen, round after round, your lips would nibble on Taemin's lower lip, hungrily moaning for more as your body begin to roll upwards against him.

Taemin shuffles once more, guiding your legs so he can kneel in between them, dotting hurried kisses up and down your body, letting out a soft growl as he pushes your legs back, allowing to align himself at your entrance, agonizingly dragging the tip of his cock up and down your slit, bumping against your clit from time to time, making you carelessly whimper in anticipation. "Should we pick up where we left off Amore?"

You could barely respond a 'yes', he didn't give you enough time to but the pleased and relieved moan you let out as you feel his dick slowly entering inside you, lets him know, it was time. He buck his hip, gently adding more force behind his thrust to gauge how sensitive you are. But as you were so relaxed and lost in the pleasure of being filled, he picked up the pace.

The two of you get so high of the primal way Taemin fucked you, like his life depended on it. The way your walls clenched around him in a periodic rhythm in time to his thrusts drove Taemin to moan your name. You like it when he does. He gets so whimpery and cute. He wouldn't be like this if he used other 'terms' of endearment, but by god, he just fucked you the same way.

Soon your hips were rolling to meet every thrust, almost pushing him in deep inside you again and it made you see stars. Your eyes would roll back, the same way your back would arch off the bed, feeling overwhelmed as Taemin would slow his thrusts, pulling out fully before slamming in again, in one quick motion. When it felt like his thrusts were causing you to slightly shift away from him, he would grab your wrists the laid on your side, keeping you still, in place as the slow deep thrusts cause you mind to go blank.

You couldn't tell, but you were barely keeping it together. The strings of nonsense you manage to let out from your lips was inane babble to Taemin's ears. You didn't want him to fuck you like this. You needed him to be closer, on top of you, so you could whisper sweet nothings into his ear. To tell him to go slow, to feel every inch of each other.

When Taemin tried to pull out for another big thrust, that's when you leaped into action, immediately sitting up, only to hook a hand around his neck, and pulling him down with you again, staring into his eyes. "I need you close... to... me" you panted.

The man smirked slightly, supporting himself on his elbows, whilst his hands were busy playing with your hair, pulling strands of your face, that way he could study the small expressions that decorated your visage whenever he thrusted. When it was a quick one, your eyes would shoot open, lips slightly parted and inaudible scream would leave you. When it was slow and deep, your lids would be half hooded, lips reddened from how hard you were biting it and delightful moan was soft and music to his ears.

Your body would only continue to squirm and writhe in pleasure as Taemin moves his hand to cup and your breasts, gently pinching your nipple before slowly and softly dragging his nails down the side of your body, reaching to pin his hand between your ass and the mattress. Every time his thrust had you lifted off the bed, he would slap your ass gently causing an excited giggle out of you. "Oh it sounds like some wants their ass red.."

Another giggle as you nod you head, looking up at Taemin with doe like eyes and feigning innocent face, which drove him wild. How could his sweet love pull such an angelic air around her while agreeing to having her ass slapped about. It was a good tactic to get what you want and you want nothing more than to feel like you could lose you senses as Taemin pounded into you.

Taemin raises himself enough so he could bring your legs together again and in one motion, flipping you around so you were on your stomach. Not needing to be told what to do, you tried to keep yourself as flat to the bed as possible, except for the slight bed in your back to perk your ass up in the air, wiggling slightly to taunt Taemin.

The man could only smirk, testing your tolerance by giving a gentle slap and listening to your pleased mewl. He places himself behind you, slapping each cheek with his dick before spreading you apart once more. Taemin wasn't stupid, he knew why you liked this position. Not only can you have the satisfaction of your cheeks being marked, but with your legs closed tight and in this bent form, you were impeccably tight. Tight enough that Taemin would have second thought fucking you in this position because it almost felt like he was breaking your walls down.

A slow hiss ripped through Taemin's teeth as he insert himself, groaning profanities. It felt tighter than it did, when you two started earlier on and at this point, he might not last much longer. Like instinct, Taemin's hands placed themselves just on the base of your spine, holding you down as he proceeds to move his hips, causing your to moan wantonly into the matress. It was erratic and aimless, you didn't know what to feel, but the pressure of being held down and being fucked in angles and depth that you didn't know could happen, your body was almost begging to release.

In your position, you swing your arms to stretch in front of you, grabbing hold on the blanket and gripping at it whenever Taemin used his weight to pile drive into your aching core. The groans and mewls and fully turned into a fully vocal and resonant cries of pleasure. Taemin had a kink for your sinful moans and you will scream the house down for both of your pleasure because you are starting to become overwhelmed.

As your head tries to turn to look back at Taemin, you catch yourself, your reflection in the mirror. Ass perked up in the air with your own personal god, fucking you like the world was about to end. Watching Taemin's reflection as he drops his all into his thrusts made you wetter than possible, Is that how we look like.. Is that how slutty I look? Fuck.. look at him, he looks so good fucking me like this. You were so enchanted by the view, you didn't even realize Taemin was looking at you through the reflection.

"Don't we look good amore?" he groans with a quick thrust. "I told you, see how beautiful you look like this" Another thrust.

It's not like you haven't watched porn, nor have sent countless of masturbation videos to each other before, but there was something deeply erotic and sensual about how Taemin's movement would have a ripple effect on you and the sight of his face as it contorts in pleasure, how his soft lips would part to moan your name before cursing under his breath.

Shyly hiding your face behind your stretched out arm as you continue to look in the mirror. "Amore.. I want to see you cum in me..", you hummed before crossing your legs and bending your knee to raise them up, essentially keeping Taemin pinned close to you.

"But first..", he slaps you ass as he feel the heel of your foot bump against his backside. "It's time for you to scream my name again".

Taemin adjusts his knelt position, and now focusing on pumping his dick in and out of you. He kept on hand applying pressure on your lower back to hold you down while the spare hand took turns in slapping each cheek, or carelessly drawing lines down your back with his nails.

It suddenly got too much as the thrusts became shallow but effectively rubbing against you sweet spot, making you cry out his name. "Oh fuck... amore... Taemin.. please". The more louder you got the more wilder the thrusts were and this time, Taemin's hands were at your hips practically slamming you onto him, each time causing you to shudder uncontrollably. "F-fuck.. fuck.. fuck.." you drawled out as the eruption of your orgasm is finally about to hit like a double deck bus.

Overwhelmed, slightly broken, the culmination of multiple orgasms back to back did lay bearing on the intensity this orgasm brought. Whilst the hight pitch scream of you lover's name filled the room, it hits you again, the sound of the loud squelching and slight spray that dared to slip Taemin' out of you. What's worse is you had your eyes open and you could see it in your reflection how intense that was for you. Warm waves of euphoria washes over you and Taemin could see it in your eyes that slight moment where daze hits and you felt that post-orgasm numbness fog your brain in an instant.

"Told you, you'd do it again...and not by my fingers this time. You did so well amore" Taemin's words of affirmation brought you comfort, although you weren't sure it was processing in your head fully.

However despite how tingling your body is, how your legs quivered as your orgasm basically washed over Taemin. Your walls pulsated, tightening further around him and it was enough to tip him over the edge.

You would continue to watch Taemin essentially lose himself, a mixture of focus and tiredness encompass his face. His eyes hooded and clouded with ecstasy. His rapid breathing mixed with the frustrated grunts, he was all too close to getting to the same state as you.

Taemin's head would throw back again, groaning nothing but your name as he would have exploded out of you mid thrust if it weren't for your legs pinning him closer to you. You used the last of your strength to keep him in places as he empties himself in you. "F-fuck. Y/N-ah", he groans as his body keels over, his now sweat ridden forehead resting on your back.

There was a moment of silence that felt like eternity as both of you catch your breath together and Taemin finally pulls away, resting against the headboard and smiling at the sight that graced him.

"Stay still amore", he finally breaks the quietness before getting up.

He slowly guides and manouvers your body around, still bent over but now you were back at the edge of the bed, but with your back turned against the mirror. Taemin sat beside you and gently patted your ass. "Do you want to see how creamy you are amore?" he teased.

With a puzzled look, you attempt to twist your torso, so you can half turn to see what Taemin meant. And creamy you did. The imagine of you slightly spreading yourself to see the final mixture of both Taemin and yours, pool slightly out of your entrance, dripping onto the bed.

"I will never get sick of seeing you filled up.." Taemin giggled, talking to you through your reflection. He beamed up once more as he took the opportunity to let you see him lean over and naughtily nip at your cheek, slapping it once you let out a pained moan.

You laugh as you push Taemin down on the bed, scooting over to straddle him, quickling teasing him by pinching his cheeks and trying to tickle his sides. "If you keep on filling me up mister.... we'll end up having a responsibility nine months later.." you huffed slightly.

"Then maybe..." Taemin's devilish grin pops before, using his hands on your waist and pulling you upwards closer that you end up sitting on his chest. He looks down to see the trail of your orgasms line his torso. He tentatively licks his lips before gently biting his lower one.

"You idiot.. eating me out now, is not going to 100% stop a pregnancy.." you laughed, slightly flicking his forehead before dismounting him. You grabbed one of the blankets and wiped Taemin's chest free from your debaucherous sins, before throwing it aside and settling in beside him.

"Hey Y/N-ah... "

"Mm?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too."

"Next time, tell me when you are having your lows so I can catch you and make you feel safe... " he mumbles softly, turning to face you as his arm drapes over your body for a hug.

You pursed your lips before smirking at him, getting the weird feeling of being annoyed because he is being so damn cute and aggression is kicking in. Your hand reaches up to aggressively pinch his cheeks.

"You are such a cheese. A baby cheese. My cheese", you sigh contentedly.

"Yes. Your baby cheese" he chuckles before lowering his frame so he could nuzzle against you, resting his head on your chest as you begin to hum and play with his hair.

"By the way.. can you lie for me and tell the rest of the members I'm sick? It's not much, but lets have that date.. at home tomorrow...or well.. when we wake up.." Taemin mumbles half realizing the time.

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"It's okay. You're worth it..." he slowly drifts off followed by the soft sounds of his snores.

"Okay, Amore... tomorrow, it will be a day just for us.. "

#taemin x reader #taemin fanfic #taemin x female reader #taemin scenario #taemin smut #shinee smut #taemin x you

31 notes · View notes

quieteez · 14 days

Text

22:31

ex!wooyo, exes2lovers, weed, being high, high!reader and high!wooyo, wine drinking, drunk!reader and tipsy!wooyo, lowkey depressing, angst and fluff

first post dont kill me

it was a gloomy day, you were laying in the bed in the dark and sad love songs playing.

today was a shit day, nothing exceptional happened, maybe it was because your period was nearing the end soon, maybe it was because you didn’t feel like eating, even when your body was screaming at you, or maybe it was simply because every day is the same. maybe that’s the reason nothing exceptional happened. whatever it was, it brought your mood to the lowest it has been in a while.

thinking on what to do, you came up with the idea to buy some white wine and hit up your plug. getting dressed in just your light grey sweats and sweatshirt you were headed out.

you didn’t really go out that often, only for work. on the way to the shops, it was already dark out. street lamps lighting your way and the last families heading back inside.

searching for the wine, you chose the cheapest and the most high percentage one, today was to just get wasted. you met up with your plug not long after and went finally home.

popped open your wine, taking out a wine glass and it was finally time to literally black out after whatever today was. rolling your joints you were so good at already, and took a puff. you finally felt a wave of relaxation come over you. with the songs playing on your speaker loudly, you felt like maybe life was a little bit okay, but only on substance.

your phone ringed once, twice and a third time. you ignored it. you got a text and went to check out what’s so important.

woo: “hey, you up?”

shit.

you called back.

“hey, why?

woo: “missed you.”

shit.

“woo, seriously? right now out of all times?”

woo: “i always miss you, can i come over?”

shit.

“technically yes. but don’t try anything”

woo: “you know i can’t promise you anything.”

“you shouldn’t come over.”

woo: “i’ll be there soon.”

shit.

you weren’t going to try look presentable, not right now, your looks didn’t matter right now. what did matter now though, was getting more drunk. no way this was going down while you were sober.

10 minutes passed and you got a knock once, twice and a third time. dragging your feet, you opened the door. there he was. there was wooyoung. always wearing all black clothing, you always were yin and yang, even now. you let him in and he was very surprised to see you like this, high and tipsy. this wasn’t the usual you and he knew this. he knew something was up with you.

sitting down, he asked you:

“hey, what’s up? why are you drinking?”

“man i don’t even know. i guess today was a shitty day.”

a bit hesitant, he sat closer to you, to see if it was fine with you. you didn’t move or push him away, you let him be close to you. to do something you were professionals at. or used to be. he hugged you.

this was it, you thought. all the walls you’ve built up, crashed down at this moment. you haven’t talked to anybody in a long time, less touched somebody.

you felt a tear drop, maybe this was the reason today was shitty.

sitting back, wooyoung wiped your tear with his thumb. he always had big chunky silver rings on, even today.

“dear, please talk to me, okay?”

more tears fell.

“i’m just… i can’t explain it.”

“okay, that’s okay, i’ll be here for you”

“you shouldn’t.”

“i should.”

now you hugged him, you scratched his head to show him you were glad this was happening (even if your head didn’t agree) and he patted your back. slowly his arms went under your thighs to place you on his lap and he hugged your waist.

this was everything you needed. him, music and being drunk.

you got up and went to pour him a glass and roll him a joint. you drank, smoked and talked about what has been happening lately while cuddled up.

slowly you felt yourself getting sleepy and wooyo noticed it, he always does. you traced the map on his face with your fingertips. being as drunk as you were, you kissed him suddenly. it didn’t even mean to happen. maybe it was your body’s own language to him. looking at his eyes, they sparkled. he kissed you back.

this was it. your world was missing a piece, now it’s full again. love, my world is full (thanks to you, woo)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lol not proofread it’s bad but it’s all i need right now LOL

me when i like a guy who likes another girl. i just want him to tell me everything will be fine

#wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #wooyoung imagines #ateez imagines #ateez #kpop #jung wooyoung #Spotify

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through-space-and-galaxies · 2 years

Text

Vance hopper hcs (pt 7) [dating hcs!]

(warning this was not proof read and i am tired)

general hcs:

the relationship would either have to be you guys being friends first or growing close and then dating, he needs to trust the person 110% before he can date them

has a bit of a player rep because of self-distructive tendencies (using girls to distract, etc)

if you're a guy it'll take a lot of reassuring his internalized homophobia and working through that together as well. some times it'll be fine but then it'll hit harder than ever before, straining the relationship a LOT

pushes a lot of potential partners away because he doesn't allow himself to feel emotions and puts up lots of walls. if you truly want to date him it'll be a lot of work for the both of you to make it work

who he tends to go for:

I'm gonna be honest he tends to go for ladies a lot, and finds himself crushing on them more often

there will be guys who catches his attention every so often

unfortunately, he tends to go after straight guys a lot and shoves his feelings aside-

tends to like femininity in guys a lot, just subtle features

very much likes someone who compliments his personality a lot

likes muscles,, like- well defined ones, muscle tone etc etc. enough said

piercings will make him fold twice as fast, tattoos though? folds instantly/j

in public:

ride or die. legit just ride or die.

someone talks shit about you, you dating him, or makes a rude comment/remark whatever? already going after them. you literally don't even have to ask

not very lovey-dovey in public. prefers handholding, pinkies interlocking, subtle touches, hands in each other's pockets, giving you his jacket

speaking of his jacket, he does, in fact, expect it back sorry not sorry

lots of staring- not in like- a creepy way LMAO just like- admiring from a distance yk

dates don't usually happen either sorry, will take you out if you asked or something special was happening

despite being not very lovey-dovey he is very possessive and gets jealous easily, usually the reason why he gets into fights over you (besides remarks from other people about you)

in private:

boundaries are tbh one of the first things discussed in the start of y'alls relationship, he doesn't want to fuck it up

lays out ground things, stating a lot that "hey i don't have much money so i can't buy you things" and "i don't like showing a lot of affection in public" as well as "i have a lot of mood swings and we will fight at one point, maybe even a lot"

warns you a lot that you can leave him at any time very early in the relationship

once you date for longer he'd probably let you paint his nails... if he was dead asleep LMAO

honestly though if you asked and he was whipped enough he'd probably let you paint like,, a pinkie yk. nothing else though

you can touch his hair but only with a lot of coaxing. braiding it? it's fine just take it out after. ponytail? also fine, might keep it in

man was raised with MANNERS, would never lay a hand on you (fem/neu/masc doesn't matter)

tends to have more patience with you but with his short fuse fights tend to happen often but they're never screaming matches or physical

if it does progress too far? he's driving or walking out saying he needs space and he'll come back in an hour or longer depending on what it was

flowers are rare, only for anniversaries/birthdays/etc. he is not from a high economic class, man does not have a lot of cash on him nor does his family

lots of movie dates in though, watching horror movies on purpose to see your reactions, tease you whenever you get scared

a lot more affectionate in private, more touches, hugs, etc

you will get crushed by him constantly, puts his full body weight on you. no mercy.

very cuddly, less so when manic episodes arrive but when depressive ones do? all he really wants to do is hold you and just kinda be in the silence

also early morning cuddles are indeed a thing and he WILL force you to stay 5, 10, 15, or more minutes with him. responsibilities be damned

as you get more serious he'd probably give you smaller, more personal things, as gifts. honestly probably random shit he found too that he found cool-

if the idea of kids was ever brought up he'd entertain the idea somewhat but shut it down until way later

he has lots of self-doubt so a lot of the relationship is saying "yes I still love you Vance" and "no I'm not going to leave you Vance"

he honestly appreciates you more than he can ever say, "i love you" doesn't ever seem "big" enough of a phrase to say

#vance hopper #the black phone #the black phone 2022 #vance hopper x reader #my hcs #🎡

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adibkhorram · 2 months

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Dear Mr Khorram,

I recently read one of your books, Darius the Great Is Not Okay, and I’m so glad that I did. I had heard talk of the book floating around and I never knew why, but now that I’ve read it, I’m incredibly grateful that I did. Reading about Darius’ experience with his culture, his family, and his depression hit me right in the heart, as I have gone through very similar things. Seeing someone else go through things that I’ve gone through makes me feel so much less alone, and even if it’s still hard, I know that it’s a feeling that I can share with others.

Originally, I read this book as a way to look into another perspective, a type of ‘window,’ but the more I read, the more I saw myself in Darius. I understand how he feels when his father seems disappointed in him all the time for things he can’t control, because I’ve been through that too. My parents don’t always understand that sometimes the best I can do is just getting up and staying awake. Being excluded from the group, dealing with bullies that target you for things you don’t have control over, and struggling to understand what you’re supposed to do when you’re around others isn’t too far from home. It made me sad to realize that Darius and myself had gone through very similar situations.

More than that, I saw myself in Darius’ experience trying to connect with his culture. My family comes from many different places, and I’ve never been as connected as I’d like to be. I didn’t even know about part of my heritage until I was older, since my parents never talked about it. The lack of knowledge made me feel like I couldn’t really claim the culture as my own. Darius’ hesitancy to engage in things and his uncertainty about how to talk with other people in Iran, felt like someone had taken my anxieties right out of my brain and put them onto a page, just with a different background. It makes sense that plenty of people feel that way, especially when you’re the child of an immigrant, but it still was very special to see that struggle represented.

The thing that was maybe most impactful to me was Darius’ connection with his grandfather. I lost my grandfather around a year ago, and since he lived in Germany, I didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked. I also had to leave knowing that I wouldn’t get to visit my grandfather again, and I’ll admit that I cried a bit reading that part of the book. Losing someone is always hard, but knowing that you won’t be able to go visit them again hurts. Losing someone hurts even more when it feels like you haven’t had enough time with them. The way that you talked about Darius’ feelings hit me right in the gut, and I still haven’t fully gotten over it.

Darius’ story was a reflection of mine in so many ways, and I’m forever grateful that I took the chance and read your book. It was a book that I will probably think about for some time to come. Darius’ struggles with his mental health, with connecting to his culture, and with knowing that he won’t get to see his grandfather again all painted a very realistic portrait of teenage life, and I’m glad that I read the book. Congratulations on your newest book! I hope to hear back from you. It would be awesome to get a ‘letter’ back from an author I admire, and my teacher promised me extra credit points if I got a response back, although I was not expecting this to be done through a tumblr ask.

Sincerely,

Tobie

Hi Tobie,

Thank you so much for your lovely message. I'm so honored you saw yourself in Darius's story, and I hope it was a balm to you through your own rough times. I wrote it for folks who feel like you do—and like I do too, tbh.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather passing away. Mine are both long gone, but I think of them often, especially my Iranian one, who went through so much in his life but, in his later years, was more content than maybe any person I've ever known. He would sit on the porch of my aunt's house (where he lived), looking at the garden and the sunlight, and say "Khaylee khoob" (very good) to himself.

I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can. And I hope, like Darius, you find the people that love you for who you are.

Yours,

Adib

#darius the great is not okay #ask adib #my emotions

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windvexer · 9 months

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Spirit advice anon here, typing on mobile and accidentally hit send too early, whoops. (also this became a lot longer of an ask than I thought Le Whoops)

Okay, so baby witch with 0 experience and I live in an old house that was lovingly built by a man for his family back during the great depression, right? I was feeling really sentimental thinking about that yesterday and comparing it to my own family's (much less wholesome) situation and at one point passively thought that it'd be nice to have a family that close and caring, and thought about maybe one day having a spirit friend that could give me that sort of feeling. Again, this was only passive thoughts - no petition or any action from me beyond that.

Cut to last night, I have a dream of the least-horrible parts of my family, dead grandparents in better shape than they've been since I was a child, an estranged sibling, etc. All living in an old family home my mom and uncle had no choice but to sell. I've dreamed of family before, but it's always been a pretty bad one involving members I don't like. This one was really nice though. However, there was someone else in my dream that I thought was an IRL friend from work, who had, let's just say a very *strong* pressence.

When I woke up, still pretty groggy, I turned over in bed and immediately heard (in my head) friend from work, who still feels nearby, call me from behind me. When I try to lift my head, I have the very first episode of sleep paralysis on my life. Again, I had moved my body moments before this, so extra weird. I feel like something's about to happen, but I'm able to break out super quickly. It's about this time that I think to myself "wait a minute, work friend isn't an incorporeal being that can suddenly appear in my room" and start getting weirded out.

Now, while this experience felt 100% different than any weird dreams that I've had before, I still wasn't convinced it wasn't all in my head, so I pulled a couple of tarot cards.

"Did a spirit visit me last night?": 3 of Cups, celebrating your feelings or connections with others

"Okay... what were their intentions?": The Moon, enjoying healthy fantasies and daydreams, practicing magic, embracing the unknown

I'm still not great with tarot, but that all seems pretty clear cut to me.

I understand that I should give them an offering to thank them for reaching out with the nice dream, and probably ask them to not do the sleep paralysis thing again because I did *not* enjoy that. Beyond that, because I was barely ready to start practicing magic at all, let alone with spirits, I feel rather unprepared. Any additional advice you can give me with this information is appreciated.

Hi, Anon. Sorry for the late reply.

This is the only ask I got from you so if you sent a different one, I didn't receive it.

Okay, so baby witch with 0 experience

Welcome

I was feeling really sentimental thinking about [...] Again, this was only passive thoughts - no petition or any action from me beyond that.

You didn't ask, but I'm sure you're aware that petitions or actions aren't required to call to spirits. An earnest desire is often enough to spark action from nearby spirits who are waiting at the veil with bated breath.

Cut to last night, I have a dream of the least-horrible parts of my family, [...]However, there was someone else in my dream that I thought was an IRL friend from work, who had, let's just say a very *strong* pressence.

It may be worthy of consideration that this spirit in the guise of your work friend is not one of your ancestors. I've had spirits (one very important one, actually) show up for me when I started ancestor work, because that was the first time he was able to reach me.

When I woke up, still pretty groggy, I turned over in bed and immediately heard (in my head) friend from work, who still feels nearby, call me from behind me.

Spooky.

I understand that I should give them an offering to thank them for reaching out with the nice dream, and probably ask them to not do the sleep paralysis thing again because I did *not* enjoy that.

If a spirit gave me sleep paralysis, I'm not sure I'd give them an offering.

Beyond that, because I was barely ready to start practicing magic at all, let alone with spirits, I feel rather unprepared. Any additional advice you can give me with this information is appreciated.

Your experience felt like it came on a little strong. It's unusual for people to be thwacked by spirits like that out of the blue. This isn't to say I doubt the veracity of your story, but rather that you might want to consider that you're not dealing with some random household spirit.

If you don't want to talk to or interact with the spirit at this time, you don't have to. If you want to work with spirits at this time, it should be an active choice - not something you fall into by happenstance (or let yourself be pressured into because you don't want to feel mean for not wanting to talk to a spirit who initiated contact).

I highly recommend working wards to protect you during your sleep, and protecting your bedroom/sleeping space as a whole.

When next performing divination, enchant your tools to constrain them to tell the truth (or to prevent the spirit from showing untrue answers).

A person who wants to jump into spirit work with heavy-handed spirits will likely not regret, and might someday be very grateful for, preparing a very stern protective amulet ahead of time to prevent spirits from reaching them. Once enchanted, such an amulet can be kept out of the way until needed.

#answered

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babymetaldoll · 1 year

Text

Baby, I'm yours - Chapter five: "I used to think that Romeo was full of shit"

Summary: Hotch needs to know how the team is dealing with Prentiss' death, but some of their answers might be too painful. Strauss catches Spencer and reader kissing in the bullpen, and something has to be done to stop that behavior.

Warnings: Mention of death, the usual Criminal Minds shit, cursing (of course), and... I think that's it.

Word count: 5,7K (short chapter, but next week we are back to the million words)

A/N: I just wanted you to know I love each and every one of your comments on this series (and all my fics) Your feedback fuels me and keeps me going !!

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Spencer's point of view

Aaron closed the door behind our back and invited me to have a seat on his couch. That was weird. I knew we weren't going to talk about any case. He had been meetings the team to talk about Emily and how we had been dealing with her death. So far, he had spoken with Morgan, Seaver, and Penelope. I wasn't excited to share my feelings with him, not that I didn't trust him. I just... didn't want to open that door just yet. Not with him, not at work. I knew it was mandatory, and I also knew it was better to talk with Hotch, 'cos I trusted him, instead of a random therapist. But still, I didn't want to do it.

- "Coffee?"- he asked and I shook my head, showing him the cup of tea I was holding.

- "I'm trying not to drink that much caffeine after lunch."

- "Are you having trouble sleeping?"- I sighed, trying to explain my reasons very simply.

- "I've always been a night owl, and I honestly didn't have much trouble with it. But now I..."- I cleared my throat and shook my head.

- "You don't wanna bother (Y/N) at night?"- Hotch asked and cut me a short smile. I just nodded and sipped my tea- "I used to have the same issue with Haley when we started dating. I often cuddled her to sleep and then got out of bed to work or read for another few hours."

- "I usually read in bed, but I'm always worried the light could wake her or bother her"- I confessed- "Also, for adults, getting less than seven hours of sleep a night on a regular basis has been linked with diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and depression. And I think it's time I start to worry about my health."

- "I'm glad to hear that. I know (Y/N) puts a lot of effort trying to make you have a healthy diet."- I nodded, smiling. Hotch sipped his coffee and sighed. I knew what was coming, we couldn't continue with the chit-chat.

- "The last time I was on a couch like this was when my father left."- I said and looked down at my hands, holding the mug- "They all thought I needed to talk, but developmentally I wasn't guided by conscience. I could only reveal what my mother and teachers told me was acceptable."

- "You told them exactly what you knew they wanted to hear. You don't have to do that here."

- "It's just unfair that she's gone. It's like, if we can't keep each other safe, then why are we even doing any of this?"

There was a long pause. I felt as if I had hit a nerve in Hotch's heart. An issue that he had been battling as well. But I wasn't going to lie, if he wanted to know how I was doing, I was going to be honest. So I continued talking.

- "It's... sometimes I think maybe... maybe Gideon was right, you know? Maybe... maybe it's just not worth it."

- "What we do here matters, Reid. You know it."

- "Yes, but it also takes things from us. This work can kill us, and now, for the first time, I have something to fight for, to live for. And I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe."- for the first time since we started talking, I looked into his eyes and I could feel his grieve fighting not to come out.

- "I understand how you feel, Spencer."- Hotch confessed and made another long pause. I felt somehow selfish after my confession. There I was, talking about the fear of losing the woman I love in front of the man who had lost the woman of his life in the hands of a serial killer.

- "I miss her."- I blurted out and sipped my tea- "I miss talking with her and it pains me to know there is nothing I can do to bring her back. I don't wanna spend another hour thinking about what I could have done better that day. What I should have inferred faster to bring her back safe."

- "We all feel the same way, Reid. But you can't blame yourself, you did your best."

- "But my best wasn't enough to save Prentiss, and what if it isn't enough to save (Y/N) whenever it is needed?"

Hotch opened his mouth but didn't say a word for a few seconds. I looked down at my hands again and did my best to hold the tears back. I didn't want to cry and then walk back to the bullpen. (Y/N) would see me and realize how deeply affected I was. I didn't want her to worry about me. I was going to be ok eventually, just not that day, not after talking with Hotch.

- "What happened with Emily will always be a mark in our family, Spencer. But it doesn't define us. We can't change the past, but we can work together to make a better future."

I walked out of Hotch's office and for the first time ever, I felt like I needed a drink. Instead, I walked to the kitchen and opened the mini-fridge. There were some cinnamon rolls left from breakfast. I poured another cup of herbal tea and walked back to my desk. Neither (Y/N) nor Seaver were around and I didn't know if I should be worried. In the last few days, my girlfriend had made a big effort to try to be nice to her, and sometimes that scared me. Why? 'Cos it was too good to be true, and so far everything in our lives - except Emily's death- was starting to feel too good to be true. Something was going to go south eventually. Call me a pessimist, I don't care. It's statistically proven.

- "Pretty boy, are you listening?"- Morgan waved his hand in front of my face and snapped his fingers.

- "Sorry, you were saying?"

- "How did it go in there?"- I just shrugged and grabbed a case file to start my paperwork.

- "He wanted to talk about Emily like he did with you yesterday."- I stated the facts, but I knew Morgan meant how I was feeling with the whole conversation- "And what are you doing tonight after work?"- I don't know why I asked him that, probably to change the subject, I really didn't want to talk about Emily anymore. Not there at least.

- "Nothing special, I was planning to watch the game in a bar with some friends. Wanna come?"

- "Can't, but thanks for the invitation."

- "What are you guys talking about?"- (Y/N) asked as she walked over to my desk along with Penelope and Seaver, the three of them holding matching Starbucks mugs- "Oh! I got you a blue one too!"- my girlfriend giggled and opened her bag, handing me a new mug.

- "Thank you."

- "We took a coffee break 'cos Pen read on Twitter these beauties were on sale"- (Y/N) was really excited about the mugs, and I just smiled and nodded- "So, how did it go with Hotch?"

- "I'll tell you later."

- "(Y/L/N), can you come to my office for a minute?"- Aaron asked from the stairs, and (Y/N)'s smile faded in a fraction of a second. She didn't reply, she just nodded and started walking. Morgan, Pen, and Seaver looked at her in silence, as I quickly stood up, grabbed her hand, and kissed her lips, just a peck.

- "Doctor Reid"- I heard Strauss' voice as (Y/N) widened her eyes and froze on her spot.

- "Go to Hotch, I'll talk to her"- I whispered and cut her a short smile- "Don't worry about it. I love you."

The second I turned from (Y/N)'s sweet face and looked at Strauss, I knew I was in trouble. I felt like a kid in school, being scolded by the teacher. I hoped I didn't get suspended.

Stauss walked to her office and I followed her in silence. She just stood there, arms against her chest and an angry look in her eyes.

- "I assume you know why you are here."

- "Yes ma'am"- I cleared my throat and looked at her for a second or two, just to make her think I was comfortable around her. I was not, of course.

- "Doctor Reid, I have nothing against your relationship with SSA (Y/L/N), but I can not tolerate any public display of affection in the FBI. Not here, not on the field, not at any police station or crime scene. Have I made myself clear?"

- "Yes ma'am"- I repeated myself and nodded, hoping that was it. But it wasn't.

- "Listen, doctor, I understand what happened with your team was tragic, and trust me, I know you are all grieving and trying to process your pain. I am aware you have all been talking with Agent Hotchner."

- "Yes ma'am."

- "I trust that helps the team. We also have a professional team available that might help. Group therapy could be a useful tool if you all feel it's necessary. I don't want this loss to affect your work."

- "Thank you, ma'am. But I don't think that would be necessary"- she nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Keep the PDA to the minimum, or there will be consequences."

- "Yes ma'am"

- "Have a nice afternoon, doctor."

And after those words, I rushed out. (Y/N) was already locked inside Hotch's office, and all I do was hope she was ok. I could try to cook dinner for that later that night. Maybe that could cheer her up.

We were slowly moving in together. Every weekend and day off she would bring more of her things to my apartment, and she had announced to her landlord she would move out by the end of the month. We hadn't said anything to the team though, we had agreed that it was our little secret, and we wanted to keep it that way. Besides, if things went according to plan, by the end of the month the news would be bigger and more exciting. There was a ring in a box hidden in our apartment that belonged to her, and she still had no idea.

- "Reid, how did it go?"- Morgan asked the minute I sat at my desk.

- "Ok, I guess."

- "Pen was thinking we could all go out tonight, and watch a movie"- he added- "You, pretty girl, Seaver, her, and me."

- "(Y/N) was just talking about a horror movie festival, she was looking forward to watching the new Slice one"- I grabbed the paper and looked for the info, but of course, Morgan beat me at it 'cos he googled it.

- "Got it, at seven, I'll tell the girls."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "(Y/L/N), you know what we are doing here."- Hotch sat on his couch and gave me a short smile. I nodded and sipped my coffee, trying to be a grown-up about the whole situation. I knew he was trying his best, and I was also pretty sure he didn't want to go through all this with the entire team.

- "Yes, you need to know how we are dealing with Emily's death and evaluate how the team is processing the grief and if it's affecting our daily performance at work."- I answered and Hotch simply nodded and sighed.

- "It's not just about work, (Y/N). You know we are a family, and this was particularly hard on everybody."- I nodded and took another sip of coffee.

- "Hard doesn't even begin to cut it, and you know it"- my comment came harder than I expected it, but Hotch didn't seem to mind- "I guess we are all just doing the best we can."

- "You don't have to pretend here, (Y/N). I'm not gonna judge you."

- "I know."

- "Then tell me... how are you holding on?"- I shrugged, took the last sip of my coffee, and looked at the mug sitting on my lap.

- "I don't know. It's weird. There is a part of my brain that keeps waiting for her to come back as if she was out of the country for a few weeks on vacation. But then I remember, she is gone for good and my heart breaks again. It's the same every day, every time I think of her."- I mumbled and started fidgeting with the cup in my hands- "And then it's worst 'cos I feel guilty I forgot she is gone, and I remember this whole thing could have been avoided if I had been paying more attention to all the signs that were there, but I didn't do anything, 'cos I was too happy dating Reid to even realize my friend was hurting."

My voice broke at the end of that sentence, and it felt as if the dam I had built to contain the sea of tears was about to collapse. Just like me.

- "This is not your fault, (Y/N). No one could have stopped this."

- "You don't know that, Hotch! I could have noticed she was in trouble, it was so fucking obvious!"- I bit my lips and shut up, making a major effort not to cry. I really didn't want to break into tears in front of Hotch, Spencer would notice the second I stepped out of the office, and he would worry. And I didn't want him to worry about me.

- "(Y/L/N), you can't blame yourself for this. And you have all the right to be happy with Reid. You can't feel guilty about your own happiness 'cos you deserve it. You've earned the right to enjoy your relationship with Spencer."

- "But it made me blind, it made me oblivious to my friend's pain, and that led to the worst outcome possible. I was too focused on my own happiness to notice everything falling to pieces. What if it happens again? What if it happens with Spencer? How could I ever live knowing..."- but I bit my tongue. I had fucked it up and Hotch knew it - "I'm sorry."

- "It's ok. Now when I tell you I know how you feel, you'll know I mean it."- Hotch held my hands and we stayed in silence for a few seconds.

- "It's not going to be easy, (Y/N). But we are a family and we are going to overcome this together. Don't isolate yourself with Reid."

- "I... can't help it, he is my happy place."- I whispered, feeling the tears falling unmercifully down my cheeks.

- "I know, but this family needs your snarky comebacks and his random facts more than ever. You two give us joy, your happiness helps us lift our spirits as well."

- "Well, then here's something you are gonna love: we are moving together this weekend if no psycho killer decides it's time to strike and ruin our plans."- I simply confessed and chuckled as Aaron stood up and hugged me for a second.

- "I am very happy for you two."

- "We didn't want to tell you 'cos we know it's not the time for celebration, and because we felt like we needed to process the whole thing by ourselves first."

- "You are not ready for Garcia's hyperventilation?"

- "Jesus, no!"- I giggled and grabbed a kleenex from my pocket- "I am not ready for that! I just wanna do it, and then tell them so they can visit and have dinner."

- "Then I won't tell them. But when you do, I can't promise I will act surprised."- I chuckled and shook my head. Hotch was cool, and a pretty good therapist if you ask me. I wondered who he talked to whenever he felt like the world was too much. I guess he had a professional to turn to, though somehow that seemed unlikely. Did he open up? Ever? I knew he could laugh, I had seen that miracle myself a few times. But talking about his feelings was a completely different story.

That night, Penelope and Spencer had arranged a night out with Morgan and Seaver. I really wanted to go home and continue packing the things left in my apartment, plus I still had to ask mom if I could leave a few boxes at her house. Frank and Mikey had bought some of my furniture, except for my bed 'cos they refused to go near anything I might have had sex on with Spencer. Of course, I didn't tell Mikey a thing about what had happened on the couch he got.

But that night we were out for pizza and a horror flick I was dying to watch. I was sure that was Spencer's doing and I wasn't going to complain. Besides, a night out with people and having fun was something we could use. I enjoyed the movie, it was not as good as the third one but still a good stress reliever filled with gore and horror. Just my kind of movie. Garcia didn't agree with me at all.

- "Unnecessary! There's too much blood and gore and eew"- she argued as soon as we were out of the theater. I held Spencer's hand as we walked and chuckled at my friend's reaction, hearing my boyfriend question her.

- "Garcia, it's a slasher film. How do you do a slasher film without violence?"

- "You imply it!"- she argued right away.

- "Baby, the movie is called "Slice 6." What were you expecting?"- Morgan asked, chuckling.

- "A refreshing beverage with a twist of comedy. I'm gonna have nightmares for a week! Do you even enjoy these movies?"

- "They are my favorite!"- I answered smiling- "Give me a night with horror flicks and a bunch of popcorn, maybe some wine, and that's the best plan"- Spencer nodded in support, but Penelope wasn't really buying it.

- "You just like these things 'cos you have a boyfriend to hug!! Do you use these as an excuse to make out with him?"

- "I don't need an excuse to make out with him!"- I answered, chuckling.

- "Of course not, I am sure you were sucking faces when that slasher was stabbing that poor girl in the attic!"

- "With everything that we do and see on a daily basis, that got to you?"- Seaver questioned Pen, honestly surprised by her reaction.

- "Listen, newb, you may be all Sigourney Weaver ass-kicking tough, which is awesome, but the mystical mavens of innocence like myself jump at things that go bump in the night."

- "Why are you worried? I'm sure that Morgan will protect you. As long as he's not jumping out of his chair like a prepubescent schoolgirl."- Spencer teased Derek and I laughed, holding his hand tighter, and feeling him look at me with loving eyes.

- "The only reason I jumped is 'cause you guys woke me up!"

- "How could you sleep during that?"- Penelope was in shock.

- "Easy. You drag me out after a 12-hour workday. For what? Are you telling me that girl didn't know that the unsub was waiting for her upstairs? Come on, now!"

- "Villain"- Spencer and I corrected Morgan at the same time and chuckled.

- "What?

- "Villain. In movies, unsubs are called villains."- my boyfriend explained and then asked- "You want to know why horror movies are so successful?

- "Why is that, genius?

- "They prey on our instinctual need to survive. In tribal days, a woman's scream would signal danger and the men would return from hunting to protect their pack. That's why it's always the women and not the men who fall victim to the bogeyman."

- "Count on you, Reid, to break a movie down to science."- Seaver said and added- "My favorite thing about horror movies is the suspense factor."

- "Ah, the ticking clock."- Spencer said in a dramatic voice.

- "The helpless victim walks through the dark... shadows reaching out to get her."- I added, whispering.

- "A sudden noise draws her attention. Is someone there, or is it just in her head?"- my boyfriend wrapped his arms around me as if he was going to get me and I laughed as he murmured in my ear in a deep and sexy voice that he was not going to let me go.

- "Sounds like we are getting home to read some Edgar Allan Poe tonight!"- my excitement was obvious and my friends basically just stared at me in shock- "What? We like reading"

- "Please, stop it, you are so sweet you are gonna give me cavities!"- Penelope argued and shook her head, still clearly affected by the movie- "Still, it's totally unrealistic. No one should be walking through a dark alley by themselves at night."- we made a pause and looked at what we were doing. Exactly that.

- "Ahem. Hello?"- Morgan pointed out as Garcia held his arm even tighter.

- "No one should be walking through a dark alley without a Derek Morgan by their side."

- "When I was a kid, after a horror movie I would watch some cartoons to ease the mood and keep me from having nightmares. Maybe you should do that before going to bed"- I turned to Penelope as I told her my trick to nightmare-free nights and she nodded.

- "I might need hours of Rainbow Brite to overcome that movie, munchkin. Everyone ready to go home?"

Home. I turned to Spencer and smiled. Home was now with him, no matter if I still had a few things to take from my apartment, ever since the day he had asked me, home was with him. Spencer held my hand tighter and nodded, smiling. I could see his eyes sparkling and his heart beating as loudly as mine. He bit his lips and wiggled his eyebrows, making me giggle.

- "Oh come on!! We don't wanna have that image in our young and innocent minds!!"- Penelope argued as soon as she turned to us- "We know you can't stop doing it since you got together, but please! Keep it G, for all ages!!"

- "You have to stop saying we are pervs!"- I argued with my friend- "We weren't implying sex!"

- "No?"- Spencer asked innocently and I elbowed him right away- "Right! Not! We are not! Definitely not."

- "Ok kid"- Morgan looked at us shaking his head - "Take your lady home"

- "Thank you, chocolate thunder"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him- "Wanna stop for a midnight cupcake?"- I asked Spencer and his whole face lit up. I could have added we had whipped cream in the fridge, but I was saving that for another occasion.

Spencer's point of view

I will never forget the day (Y/N) officially moved in with me. Frank, Mikey, and Lu helped with all the boxes and (Y/N) asked his dad for his truck to move some old things back to her mother's. Chief (Y/L/N) was so excited he hugged me twice, and Frank teased me about it for hours. That made me think I shouldn't tell him I wanted to propose to his best friend, I wasn't sure he could keep the secret.

And talking about secrets, (Y/N)'s mom was a little upset when she saw us because her daughter hadn't told her we were dating until she announced she needed to move some boxes to her basement. And she wasn't happy.

- "You told your dad first?!"- I heard her saying the second (Y/N) opened the car's door.

- "Hi mom! It's nice to see you too!"

- "You told him and not your mother!"- Sofia nearly shouted.

- "I am sorry! We've been crazy busy and dad took us out for dinner a few weeks ago"

- "Crazy busy to give me the best news a daughter can give to her mother?!"- Sofìa shouted and literally ran to hug me- "My boy!! Thank you for not losing hope! I knew you were going to get her!"

- "Really?"- (Y/N) turned to us and I just shrugged, feeling her mother's arms around me.

- "Welcome to the family, Spencer!"

- "Thank you!"- I whispered when Mrs. (Y/L/N) let me go.

- "You have to come for dinner next weekend! You two need to tell me everything!"

- "But I already told you everything on the phone last night"- (Y/N) argued and hugged her mother.

- "I want all the details! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this to happen! Remember the day of your cousin Liza's wedding? That's how long I've been waiting for you two to start dating!"

- "Mom, you are embarrassing me!"- the way my girlfriend whined was so funny I couldn't control the chuckles.

- "We'll be happy to come for dinner next week, Sofia. As soon as our work allows us to."

- "Good! That's all I wanted to hear! You have to tell me your favorite food, so I can make it for you."

- "He loves salads!"- (Y/N) teased me and I quickly shook my head.

- "Come on lovebirds!!"- Frank shouted from the truck- "We still have lots of moving to do!!"

- "Frankie! Come here and say hello!"- Sofia yelled and waved- "Your mama raised you better!"

- "Yes Mrs. (Y/L/N)"- Frank and Mikey literally jogged towards the house, smiling. Suddenly I remembered they both thought (Y/N)'s mom was hot and the whole situation turned hilarious. Mikey was, in fact, blushing!

After dropping the boxes in Sofia's basement, and scheduling dinner with her for the following week, we were finally able to move all of (Y/N)'s things into my apartment. Frank was sure there were more books than any other item in our apartment now, and he was in fact right. We had to move a lot of books to the guest's room, and Mikey was already pushing us to move to a bigger place.

- "You should consider getting a house. I would gladly design one for you. We could make it big enough for all your books, collectibles, and maybe..."- but Lu elbowed him before he could continue talking.

- "Thank you, Mikey, but right now this is what we can afford."- (Y/N) shook her head and tapped on her friend's shoulder as we stood in the living room, trying to figure out what to do with the remaining boxes.

- "Are you saving for buying? Or for the wedding?"- Mikey asked and I widened my eyes, trying not to freak out. (Y/N) turned blood red and literally smacked the back of his friend's head in less than a second.

- "No! Stop that! We just have a tight budget! There are other things to buy, like... more books!"

- "Yeah! Cut the interrogation guys!"- Lu added and shook her head- "We promised we wouldn't do this!"

- "Do what?"- I dared to ask, but neither Frank nor Mikey answered.

- "Do what?"- (Y/N) asked and rested her hands on her waist, staring at her friends right into the eyes.

- "Nothing, don't worry about it. Now, what if we get something to eat and sit down for a while 'cos I'm fucking exhausted"- Frank chuckled and clapped his hands- "All your things are here, nugget. You are officially Doc's problem from now on."

I took a look around and sighed. She officially lived with me. I was never going to wake up alone again. And a deep feeling of accomplishment and happiness filled my chest. I wrapped an arm around (Y/N)'s waist as she stood by my side, resting her body against mine, her head on my shoulder as she smiled at her friends.

- "I got you some chips and beers while we wait for the pizza"- she announced and everybody walked straight to the kitchen, leaving us alone for a minute.

- "Are we crazy for doing this after nearly a month into dating?"- she whispered, but I shook my head immediately and cupped her cheeks.

- "Everyone we told about what we were doing was excited. No one thought it was too soon. If anything, everyone thinks we have to catch up for all the time we waste being in love and not saying a thing."

- "I know... and I am happy we are doing this, but it's still shocking."- she smiled as I leaned and kissed her lips for a second.- "I mean... I love you, batsy."

- "I love you too, pumpkin. Welcome home."

But the following Monday, there were bad news waiting for us at work. Strauss had called a mandatory seminar for the entire FBI about sexual harassment and public display of affection in the bullpen. I felt guilty and attacked at the same time. I knew it was all because of the kiss she had caught me and (Y/N) sharing during work time... and at work. But it seemed a little excessive. I mean, it's not like we were making out. She didn't catch us in the parking lot, thank god.

- "Agents, we are here to talk not only about sexual harassment but also about relationships happening between coworkers that might affect our daily work."- I immediately felt my body tensing and (Y/N) turned to look at me, shocked.

- "Why?"- she whispered and I shrugged.

- "Sexual harassment isn't always a quid pro quo arrangement. Maybe it's a conversation between two co-workers that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe these co-workers use phrases like... "Baby girl." "Chocolate thunder." Or..."Where's my big black twelve-pack?"

For a moment, I sighed alleviated. So that wasn't about us after all, it was about Morgan and García. We were off the hook.

- "Or some other co-workers might be caught kissing in the middle of the bullpen, or in the elevator, the stairs, the parking lot, or even during an investigation. Sometimes the same co-workers might actually forget this is the FBI and not in a teen tv drama."

My cheeks turned blood red in a matter of seconds, and even my ears felt warm. So we were caught and now as a punishment, we had to be humiliated in front of the entire FBI. I slowly turned and looked at (Y/N), she was pale, staring at the screen in shock. I wanted to hold her hand, but it felt wrong considering we were technically being scolded for it. Jesus, even Anderson was taking notes!

- "You will all have in your emails an updated manual with all the inappropriate behaviors you have to avoid by all means at work. Holding hands underneath the table, not appropriate. Kissing during work hours, not appropriate. Also, messages like, "more cushion for the pushing", not appropriate. "I'll be Coco to your Ice-T." Not appropriate. "I wanna read you stories while we lay naked in our room", definitely not appropriate!!"

I wanted to crawl out of the bullpen and hide in the bathroom. I could feel every eye on us because it wasn't really a secret they were talking about us.

- "Though the FBI has no issue with relationships between co-workers, we must protect the integrity of our working space. All inappropriate behavior will be penalized with a warning, two warnings mean a week off without salary, three warnings, and you are out. Is it clear?"

- "Isn't this a little hard and useless?"- Rossi questioned, looking upset with the announcement.

- "We can not stand that kind of behavior, agent. This is a working place! Not a bar!"

- "Yes, I understand, but... none of those things you mentioned actually hurts anyone! And I am sure they were not said for the rest to make the people here uncomfortable."

- "But still, they did, agent Rossi. You'll find the memo in your emails. Thank you for your attention."

(Y/N) didn't move from her chair until everybody was gone from the bullpen. She didn't take her eyes off her hands, resting on her lap. I opened my drawer and grabbed a Snicker.

- "It... wasn't so bad"- I whispered and kneeled by her side.

- "Were you in the same meeting I was? They embarrassed us in front of the entire FBI!"- she whispered/yelled and looked at me, truly shocked.

- "Hey, pumpkin, it's ok. It wasn't just us, it was for Morgan and Penelope as well."

- "I sincerely doubt they were the ones saying they wanted to read naked, considering I clearly remember you whispering that to me in the kitchen last week. Who the fuck blabbed? I don't even remember anyone around us at that minute!"

- "We will have to be more careful from now on, but think about it this way: now after a long day of work, we get to go back together to our house. Our place. We don't have to make out in the parking lot, we can get home and do it wherever we want."- my girlfriend sighed and nodded, opening her candy.

- "That does make me feel better"

- "Of course it does. And just to make sure"- I leaned closer and whispered in her ear- "I am going to make sure my tongue makes you forget what happened today as soon as we set foot back home."- (Y/N) giggled and blushed immediately.

- "Those are the things you have to stop saying at work, Doctor Reid."- I had to suppress a groan, 'cos for some strange reason, every time she called me for my honorifics she struck a very specific kink I never imagined I had.

- "Cool off kids"- Rossi said as he walked by our side- "It's too soon for that first strike."

Next chapter

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

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