#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't

[illfoandillfie]

If it's ok to ask, and if you like the idea, maybe a blurb where Roger, your friend/flatmate, finds your porn collection. Maybe its a set of playgirls? Or cinefilms? As its the 70s. At first you think hes going to tease you forever about it. He asks to prove how much better he is than any of those men. Thats how you become friends with benefits.

oh this was fun and also i might have got a bit distracted looking at 70s playgirls on ebay and etsy lmao

warnings: implied sex, talk of porn and sex toys but nothing explicit 

Blurb Advent: Day 18

You’d maybe never been quite as subtle about your masturbation habits than perhaps you should have been. But in your defence neither was Roger. You’d heard him more than a few times and walked in on him once when he’d forgot to lock the bathroom door. But at least you’d never gone rifling through his belongings and invaded his porn collection. What he got off to was his business. He, on the other hand, didn’t seem to hold the same standards of decorum.

 You’d realised something was amiss when you got home and found your bedroom door ajar, though initially you shrugged it off. Perhaps you’d just not shut it properly when you left that morning. Inside the room everything seemed to be in order so you put it down to your own mistake and set about unpacking your bag. Until Roger knocked on the door.

He stood in the doorway and flung a magazine onto your bed, “You can have that back, I’ve finished reading it.”

Confused and unable to remember loaning him any magazines, you turned to the bed to see what it was, only to whip back around to Roger in horror.

A handsome, moustached man stared out from the cover of one of your Playgirl magazines.

“Where’d you get this?”

“Bottom of your wardrobe,” Roger replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why the fuck were you looking in my wardrobe?”

“I was trying to find that fucking vibrator you’ve always got going.”

“What?”

“Do you have any idea how loud that thing is? I mean our bedrooms are separated by a bathroom but it’s not like the walls are especially thick. And how often do you need it really? I mean, I swear it’s every bloody day.”

“Oh my god,” you hid your face in your hands, “Why didn’t you just tell me I was being too loud?”

“Yeah cause that wouldn’t have been an embarrassing conversation,”

“And what do you think this is?” you snapped, raising your head to glare at him though you couldn’t meet his eye.

“Oh this might be embarrassing for you but not me. Anyway, I figured I just steal the damn thing for a few days, give myself a week or so to go to sleep without hearing it’s infernal buzzing. But then I stumbled across your little collection.”

“I buy them for the articles.”

“Oh sure, I understand. That’s exactly why I buy Playboys too.”

“Fuck off, I actually do like the articles. They write about stuff relevant to me – forms of contraception and women’s health and the movement for female equality.”

“I really enjoyed that article in there called Everything You Must Know About Vibrators, is that what inspired you to buy your monstrous little machine?”

“There’s nothing wrong with women knowing how to please themselves.” “Course not. I take it that’s what the centrefolds are for too?”

“Fine, yes, sometimes I get off to the pictures. Like you said though, you get Playboy for the same reasons. So, you’ve had your laugh, you’ve seen my porn, now you can leave.”

“I’m not done yet,”

“What more can you have to say Roger? D’you wanna go through my favourite issues? D’you want a list of my favourite centrefolds? Dennis Ward’s shoot was particularly nice but nothing got the job done quite like –”

“Jesus, Y/N, no,” Roger held up his hand to stop you from continuing, “I just have one question. Have you ever been satisfied?”

“What?”

“Well, no offence, I’m sure they’re fine enough men and you have a rollicking good time looking at them, but none of them are really that inspiring are they? Some of them are….quite small.”

“Haven’t you heard? Size isn’t everything,”

“Was that another article was it? Anyway, I’m not saying I’m bigger than all of them,”

You blinked, completely baffled as to how you’d ended up here.

“But to me, as an unobjective outsider and as a flatmate, it doesn’t sound like you’re getting everything you need. I mean, clearly, the guys you’ve slept with in the past can’t have been much good if you’re buying toys because a magazine tells you to,”

“That’s not wh-”

“And I’ve flicked through a few of those issues” he jabbed his thumb in the direction of your wardrobe, “I’ve seen the articles about how to make your orgasms last longer and y’know tips for curing sexual hangups and I’m pretty sure there was an article just titled Good In Bed with a question mark at the end. So I really have to conclude that up until you bought your little friend, things weren’t so enjoyable for you.”

“You have no idea, I’ve had lots of good sex with my exes, I just happen to be single at the moment,”

“Well that’s obvious. I once heard you go, I swear, five times in one day. I mean, generally speaking it’d be at least once a day for you, wouldn’t it? Before you go to bed or first thing in the morning, just before you have a shower, while I’m trying to eat lunch, I could go on. So it’s fairly fucking obvious that you’re not getting much attention lately. And, as much as I hate to suggest it, I’d say that whatever you do when you look at these men, whatever you picture, isn’t really working. Certainly not well enough to keep you satisfied.”

“You can leave now, please,”

Roger kept talking even as you pushed him back out the door, “Do you think about them, even when you aren’t looking at the magazines? Think about joining them in their bed or by the pool or while they’re listening to music with their dick swinging about? Cause, Y/N, I can guarantee I’d be better than whatever you’re imagining.”

You stopped in the doorway, staring at him in disbelief.

“Think about it,” he shrugged, turning to go back to his own room.

 You closed your bedroom door behind you and leaned against it as you tried to process what had just happened. Roger had insulted your choice of porn and then hit on you. That was right wasn’t it? He’d actually implied he would like to have sex with you? You pulled your door open again and headed for his room, not bothering to knock before turning the knob and opening the door.

“Think about what exactly? You and Me?”

Roger laughed from where he sat at his desk and turned around in his chair to face you, “Why not? We’re both single, we’re both hot. I’ve been thinking about fucking you since you first got that vibrator. And I’m more real than anyone else you’ve got right now.”

“That’s crazy,”

“Alright, offer still stands though.”

You shook your head but didn’t move. After all, you’ve heard him too, groaning and breathing hard. And you had caught a glimpse that one time, saw what he was working with though you’d both pretended you hadn’t.”

“Are you going to stand there all night? Just that I’ve got some work to get on with, so,”

“Okay. Maybe I am a little curious. Not saying I agree to anything just yet but…how would it work?”

“I don’t know, we just fuck. Whenever we’re both in the mood for it, for as long as we’re both single and want it to keep happening.”

“Nothing else? No dates, no anything?”

“Love, if I wanted a girlfriend, I’d have one. I just thought I’d offer you my services, show you what you’re missing.”

“What if you can’t satisfy me?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Either, I’m going to wear you out, show you what a proper fuck feels like so you stop reaching for your vibrator every two minutes. Or we discover you’re some sort of insatiable sex fiend who can’t get enough and I might finally have a girl who can keep up with me. I can give you a test run now, show you what you’d be getting by agreeing. If it’s not good enough then we call it off, no harm done.”

You absentmindedly bit your thumb nail as you weighed up your options. Turn around, go back to your room and probably have a wank (without the vibrator) while you inevitably thought about Roger’s offer and wondered if you should have agreed. Or stay and get your answer.

“Okay, but this is the only chance you get. If it’s shit, we forget it and you shut up about my toys and my porn,”

Roger grinned and stood up, “That’s all I need.”

#Anonymous #my writing #my blurbs #smut blurb #(more or less) #blurb advent 2020 #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor smut

[twoprettyboys]

Steve spoiling Billy with concert tickets BC he just lives him so much???? I think that would be cuute

I have done the most extensive research I've ever done for a fanfiction for this... I wanted to make sure to send them to a concert that actually happened, so I had to find tour dates and locations. I even went on ebay to try and find an original ticket from the show the boys are going to! And I did in fact find one - there's a picture under the 'fic.

Also, remember how I said I was going to write 500-1k words? Well. I couldn't stop myself so this is actually 1.3k words long, lol. I made it into a birthday 'fic (because I celebrated someone's birthday recently, so I was just in the mood for it). I hope you like it! ♡

damage - harringrove

Billy groaned while he walked up the stairs to the small apartment he and Steve bought a few months ago. It had been a really stressful day at work and all he wanted to do was sleep and ignore everyone for at least twelve years. He reached the door and stepped inside with a sigh after unlocking it. Then he paused and took a deep breath. Something smelled.. good.

Steve walked out into the hallway and pulled his boyfriend into a hug as soon as he'd shrugged off his jacket. "Hey, how was your day?" Billy only replied with a shake of his head and a quiet "Later," pressing a kiss to Steve's lips. Steve nodded in understanding, kissed him one more time and headed back to the kitchen with a smile.

Fifteen minutes later, Billy was standing in their bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist. The shower really made him feel better and he felt ready to tell Steve about his day. Which he did - later, after dinner. They were cuddling on the couch, watching some TV show he didn't really care about. It was mostly just.. background noise.

Steve just pulled him closer and stroked his hair while he listened. Once Billy was done, Steve told him about his co-worker and her girlfriend (they had apparently just adopted a kitten and according to Steve, it was "the absolute cutest thing ever!") Some time later Steve let out a really loud yawn, and well.. He didn't want to keep Steve from his beauty sleep, so Billy decided it was time to turn off the TV and head to bed.

---

The next day started off great: Billy woke up before his alarm, got to admire his boyfriend's pretty face for a while and his favourite shirt was actually not in the laundry for once. And once Steve entered the kitchen (in his pajamas and only half awake) he hugged Billy super tight and whispered "Happy birthday, baby," into his ear.

Billy smiled at that and felt tears in his eyes. This was the first birthday he celebrated since he got out if his dad's house and knowing that just made him emotional. Steve noticed, but he didn't say anything. He just kissed Billy's forehead and smiled at him with literal heart eyes.

Billy would have liked to stay like that forever, but his wandering gaze passed the clock and he realized that he was almost running late. So he quickly said goodbye to Steve, put on his shoes and grabbed his coat. Then he grabbed his keys and left the apartment, ready to start another day at the auto repair shop.

After only half of his usual hours - he took half a day off today since it was his birthday and all - Billy pulled up in front of the apartment building they lived in. He got his stuff from the car and started the walk upstairs. "Hey baby, I'm home", Billy called out as soon as he entered the apartment. At the sound of his voice, Steve walked out into the hallway to greet him with a soft kiss.

He seemed.. a bit nervous. And then he opened his mouth to speak and said: "I got you something." Billy hadn't expected it, because honestly? Being here, in the apartment, where he could kiss Steve whenever he wanted, was actually enough for him - but then again, he was in a relationship with the Steve Harrington.

So he just smiled and lifted one eyebrow. "And.. are you going to give it to me?" Steve's face turned a little pink under his look, which he found absolutely adorable. Then, he gestured towards the living room. "You might want to sit down for this." Now Billy was definitely intrigued.

He followed Steve's instructions and went ahead, sitting down on their new couch. Steve rummaged around in one of their cabinets and produced an envelope before joining him. He held out the envelope to Billy and waited for him to take it. Then Steve put his right elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand, just looking at Billy. Watching him open the present.

So.. Billy did. The first thing he saw and pulled out was a small piece of paper that had his name in Steve's handwriting on it (and a few hearts). He unfolded it and started reading.

"Billy.

Happy birthday, baby! I know you didn't expect me to buy you anything. But when I heard about this, I just.. had to. I know how badly you want to go, so I got them for you (okay, for both of us). I hope you like them - and yes, I really do want to go with you. I love you. Like, a lot.

-Steve"

When Billy was done, he had to wipe at his eyes for a moment - he wasn't crying, just.. close to it. Steve really hadn't really given anything away in the letter, so now Billy was actually excited for what he bought. But before he took the other things out of the envelope, he had to hug Steve.

"I love you too, baby.." Billy's words were mumbled against Steve's chest, but Steve understood them anyway. "I know, baby, I know." Steve patted his boyfriend's hair for a short while, letting himself enjoy how soft it was. After that, he carefully disentangled himself from Billy and told him to look at what else the envelope contained.

Billy nodded and turned his attention back to the table. He took a deep breath and pulled out two pieces of paper. They were white and blue, and when Billy saw the text that was written on them his eyes widened. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Steve.. You- You got me- us- tickets for fucking Metallica? In.. San Diego? ...Baby, you have no idea how much this means to me. I love you - you're fucking awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!"

Billy was actually crying now - but they were happy tears. He carefully put the tickets down on the table, turned to Steve and tackled him into the couch cushions. He kissed him, hard, and tried to put all of his feelings into the kiss. Steve responded just as enthusiastically and smiled into it - knowing he made Billy happy always made him happy too.

When they broke apart (because like.. air), Billy buried his head into his boyfriend's shoulder. "This is the best birthday I've ever had." Steve laughed softly. "..And we didn't even get to the cake part yet! I'm glad you're happy, though."

---

They arrived in San Diego a week before the concert - Billy had insisted that Steve needed to get to know the city he grew up in a little. The hotel room was nice, and the weather was even better. Steve really liked it (and all the sight-seeing, of course). The week passed by faster than they had anticipated, and suddenly it was the night of the concert.

And that's how they found themselves waiting in front of the San Diego Sports Arena at seven in the evening. Billy was super excited and couldn't stand still for more than five seconds. Steve couldn't blame his boyfriend - he was about to see one of his favourite bands ever, after all. And if Steve had thought Billy waiting in line was.. a lot, well. What he got to see when they went inside the Arena was even more than that.

Steve thought the way Billy seemed to almost vibrate out of his skin was cute. He had never seen his boyfriend as content as he was at this concert. His eyes were sparkling with happiness and he just looked so.. free, singing along and dancing to every song. Billy was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful and Steve was so in love.

fin

End Notes: The concert the boys went to was part of the "Damage, Inc." tour in 1986. It took place at the San Diego Sports Arena in San Diego, on the 10th of June. Metallica actually supported Ozzy Osbourne during this part of the tour - which I might have ignored for 'fic purposes, lol. Anyway, here's the picture of the ticket that I was talking about!

#harringrove #fanfic #prompt fill #concert tickets #birthday fic #soft boys being soft #kissing #katarzyna-

[andersunmenschlich]

Episode 4: Page Turner

This story follows a Dominic Swain. I was twenty-three, so that's... 22, 9, 27, 23. Talk about disorganization.

Dominic Swain is a theater technician who mostly does lighting, and one day he's going to see a play that's got a friend of his in it, a friend who he once had a fling with and hopes to again—which is a piece of information I really didn't need. Frankly the very idea of sex and romance makes me feel like vomiting and part of me would very much like to forget, if I could, how many people think they're brilliant.

I like people, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they disgust me deeply. It's a bit of a dichotomy. I wouldn't change them if I could, every part of them is a piece of what goes into making them so fascinating, but some things... well, some things I'd rather not think about too much.

Dominic Swain, then.

He's hanging out around the theater waiting for the show to start, and decides to spend the time in a secondhand store. I like secondhand stores. Things are cheap, and you get such a variety!

Apparently I like books more than Dominic does, though, because he says he usually doesn't bother looking through the book section. The book section is the best part of any store! Sure, some places don't have a very good selection, but it's still worth looking.

He finds an interesting book.

Oh, I like this story already. Imagine going into a secondhand shop and there, on the sci-fi/fantasy shelf, is an old book handbound in leather, written in Latin, and illustrated! With woodcuts! For four pounds, which I think is about five dollars US! Sure, it's been ages since I used to talk Latin with my family, but you'd better believe I'd be buying this Ex Altiora right away and doing some brushing up.

Dominic Swain notes that the book apparently used to belong to someone named "Jurgen Leitner," which strikes me as a pair of solid German names and makes me, as someone with a solid German name of my own, feel closer to this story.

Dominic also notes that one of the woodcuts (showing an empty night sky? somehow?) makes him feel like he's falling into it.

I have no idea how I would do a woodcut of an empty night sky.

Oh, wait—yes, I do! I'd cut a blank framed by trees or the tops of buildings or some such thing, so the viewer felt like they were looking up, past the world, into dark and bottomless space.

In any case, Dominic Swain buys the book.

He spends some time justifying his decision to pay the price set for it, which I find baffling—here's the book, here's the price, they go together nice and tidy and why, in the name of sanity, would you ever try to separate them except by the proper means of paying the price? But he talks about how there must have been some mistake in price-assigning and says he "felt like a bit of an arse for not letting them know how valuable it was," which I can't understand at all.

Value is not objective. Prices are assigned based on how much the price-assigner values the thing, not on how much the thing is "actually" worth—nothing is "actually" worth anything! If the book is more valuable to you than it is to the seller, well, isn't that your own good fortune?

Dominic Swain, like so many people, does not make sense to me.

He's alien to me on what seems to be an extremely basic psychological level... which is, of course, why I find him (and people like him) so extremely interesting.

In any case, he leaves the secondhand shop and realizes he's just about late for the play he was waiting for, so he runs off and sees it. He does not, apparently, particularly care for it—though he does like the job of acting his friend, Katherine, does in it... or he says he does, anyway. In my experience people tend to think everything done by someone they're hoping for a romantic or sexual relationship with is excellent right up until they get turned down, at which point they realize none of it was quite as good as they'd tricked themselves into thinking it was.

This is another reason to dislike that particular pair of human obsessions: they ruin your ability to perceive reality with anything even close to objectivity. They're known perceptual distorters: best to stay away from them.

More interestingly, he keeps noticing a faint smell of ozone throughout the play.

Now, I live in a reasonably ozone-polluted area, and I can tell you that though it's not horribly unpleasant-smelling or anything (at least not when you're used to it), it's bad for your lungs and hurts to breathe. At least, it hurts me to breathe it. I advise avoidance. Dominic can't figure out where the smell is coming from, which makes me think it's coming from the book.

...That's unfortunate.

I guess it makes sense with the title, though. Ozone is very much a thing you'll find in the heights—on Earth, at least!

He goes out with Katherine after the show. They have dinner and, to my relief, mutually decide that they're not interested in one another in either of those ways, freeing them up to have a conversation about the book.

Katherine tells Dominic he should get the book appraised.

Well, this comes down to asking an expert "What sorts of people would be willing to pay the most money for this thing?" which isn't an unreasonable question to ask.

At least, not if you're thinking about selling.

Even with the ozone, I admit I'd be tempted to hang on to the book, at least until I'd read it! Maybe I could seal it in Tupperware or something, keep it from poisoning me. Oh, a side note: Katherine's vertigo is triggered by the woodcuts, which means that's not a purely Dominic reaction. I like that! Apparently I have low blood pressure, so I experience orthostatic hypotension pretty regularly; feeling dizzy is kind of fun.

Dominic Swain says goodbye to Katherine, goes to his job, does it with no problems, spends some time after work hanging out with his coworkers (which sends a bit of a chill down my spine, thinking of doing it myself), and gets home late but not in a mood for sleep.

I do like his sense of humor, though.

"Oddly enough, I still hadn't learned any more Latin since I bought it twelve hours before...."

Hahaha.

He sits down to have a look at it anyway, and spends some time admiring the woodcuts. He says there are about twelve of them, mostly mountains and cliffs, but one of a tower circled by birds.

I like the sound of that one.

Then he gets enraptured by the one of an empty sky, though he has trouble looking at it for too long, which I suppose is the sign of either a very unsettling picture or a very drunk individual (he has been drinking). Or it might be both!

Wait, then he says "there wasn't much to the picture itself except for black ink and a few stylized stars."

That's not an empty sky!

I feel oddly cheated. Oh well—I suppose he meant there were no clouds or birds or... airplanes or some such thing. Just because "empty" means "without anything in it" to me, that doesn't prevent other people from using it differently (and confusing the living daylights out of me and anyone else who defines it the same way I do).

So Dominic Swain does some internet research and finally turns up something on eBay from 2007 (I would've been 28).

But it's not Ex Altiora. It's "Key of Solomon 1863 owned by MacGregor Mathers and Jurgen Leitner," and someone called grbookworm1818 bought it for... about $1500, I think that would be? But there's no picture, and this is all he can find that's even vaguely related to Ex Altiora.

So he calls it a night and goes to bed.

"I think I had a nightmare, but I don't remember the details," he says. That reminds me of the coffin from episode two!

He sleeps late, wakes up late, and spends the time before his shift going around asking booksellers about Ex Altiora. Apparently he's not interested in selling it, though some of them are interested in buying it—he just wants to know more about it, which it seems to me he could more conveniently do through, I don't know, READING IT?? What is it about Dominic Swain that he'd rather talk to people than study Latin?

Yes, I'm aware that most people are like this, but I really, truly don't understand it.

In any case, he finally finds a bookseller who's heard of Jurgen Leitner, and she tells him that Leitner was a rich Scandinavian recluse who was really into books back in the 1990s.

Apparently he'd pay ridiculous amounts of money for books, produce manuscripts he'd found somewhere and have them custom-bound, or even have authors write specific things for him (though she doesn't have any names, which is unhelpful).

One name she does have is "Mary Keay," the owner of a store called Pinhole Books, which Jurgen Leitner apparently bought from a lot.

So that's good information!

Dominic Swain works his shift, no news there, except that throughout he keeps smelling ozone (and maybe something else?) and getting dizzy, which makes me think that maybe Tupperware wouldn't be effective. That's unfortunate. I guess I'd have to sell the thing after all—but I'd definitely at least read it first! I have no objection whatsoever to actually learning a totally new language in order to read a sufficiently interesting book, and not only is this Ex Altiora very interesting indeed, I already have a foundation in Latin.

But apparently actually reading the book is an idea that just doesn't occur to Dominic Swain, who I'm coming to think of as a bit of a blockhead.

For once he doesn't hang out with his coworkers after the shift, and wanders the streets getting thoroughly lost instead. This is a thing I enjoy doing, though admittedly it's rather difficult for me: the town where I live is a small one, and after all I can't risk getting too far from home because what if I didn't make it back before sunrise?

I've cut it very close a time or two before, and each time it was very unpleasant.

Dominic Swain, on the other hand, apparently manages to wander right up to Pinhole Books, which is extremely interesting. Equally interesting is the fact that he's not surprised by this.

...Did the book lead him to the store?

What, he just wanders through the streets and falls up against a very specific bookshop?

Maybe Ex Altiora is hoping to get back into Pinhole Books?

A very old, painfully thin woman with a shaved head and every inch of visible skin tattooed over in some kind of writing opens the door when Dominic rings the bell. That... doesn't sound entirely natural, but then again I've met real people who looked similar, so who knows?

I'm reminded of Vinculus from Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell: a person with a book written on their skin, a person who is a book.

This strange book-woman is apparently Mary Keay.

Also, she's playing very loud death metal at two in the morning, which strikes me as extremely rude. Actually I think anyone who forces their music on other people, at any time, is extremely rude—but some people aren't satisfied with rudeness and have to take their actions up to a level that basically qualifies as assault.

I don't think I like Mary Keay.

Dominic Swain shows her the bookplate of Ex Altiora. She seems to recognize the name Jurgen Leitner, and invites Dominic in via not closing the door, turning around, and heading up the stairs.

Not sure I would interpret that as an invitation. Actually I probably wouldn't be able to go into the building. Too much noise—unless I had earplugs I wouldn't be able to so much as think.

Aside from the noise, though, the place sounds fascinating.

A labyrinth of books, piled high in every conceivable corner? I could spend a very long, happy time in something like that (and when I was done you can bet the place would be clean, tidy, well-organized, and thoroughly read).

Oddly, Dominic says he hadn't smelled ozone since he arrived, so... wait, he's been carrying Ex Altiora with him this whole time? He didn't say he went home after work and picked it up, so—well. I guess that explains why he was smelling ozone at work. Maybe Tupperware would work after all. In any case, either something in here is suppressing the book or it's gone inactive on its own.

She's not interested in Ex Altiora, apparently.

But she does offer to show Dominic Swain another book from the library of Jurgen Leitner.

He follows her into what sounds like a lovely, cozy little study: bookshelves covering every wall, packed with books, a clearly much-used desk and chair, and one patch of wall without shelves, but with a picture. Sounds like the sort of place I'd like.

The desk's covered with papers, and also features fishing line and a straight razor. You know, I don't actually own a straight razor?

I have lots of edged weapons—a machete, paired kama, loads and loads of knives—but I don't have a straight razor. Or a butterfly knife. Push daggers are also on my mental wish list, and of course I'd like something better than a simple assist open... whoops, I'm getting a little too far off topic. The point (heh) is that I don't think it's odd to have things like that on your desk, though Dominic Swain implies that he found it odd once he had time to think about it.

The picture is a painting of an eye.

It's a really good painting.

"Very detailed, and at first I almost would have said almost photo-realistic, but the more I looked at it, the more I saw the patterns and symmetries that formed into a single image, until I was so focused on them that I started to have difficulty seeing the eye itself," Dominic says.

That sounds excellent. I like that kind of picture: where tiny things add up to something big.

Now, I know that a lot of people would have trouble with a painting that looks like it's watching them. I know this because I remember the time my family got all those classical paintings for art study and we were putting them up all over the house—no one wanted anything with eyes in it in any of the bathrooms or bedrooms.

Also I read a study once in which it was proved that people behave as though they're being watched when confronted with just a picture of something with eyes.

And honestly, I often have trouble with eyes.

I don't like looking into people's eyes, because there's just so much information there that it's overwhelming. But a drawing of an eye? Well, that's different. You can stare at that as long as you like and it's not going to get creeped out, is it? A painting of an eye isn't going to mind if you just look at it, taking all that data in, without looking away or blinking or saying a single word... ever.

But it does remind me of Graham Folger's notebooks, doesn't it? "Keep watching." See, I knew having that information would be nice! It's always good to have information (even information you'd maybe rather not think about too much).

Under the painting, written in fine green calligraphy, are three lines:

Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.

Which sounds like an invocation or a spell or a prayer to me, but... is it just me, or are the words oddly equivocal?

See, you could be asking for "the sight we may not know," or you could be asking for sight so that we may not know, like asking to be focused on one thing so you'll never see another. (I often get so focused on one thing that everything else drops away, so I know whereof I speak here.)

Also, is that last line asking for the ability to make noises you normally can't?

Only I would have ended the sentence with "hear," not "call."

Mary Keay apparently left the room for a bit while Dominic Swain was staring at the eye painting, and now she comes back in with two cups of tea and the information that "her Jared" painted it.

She doesn't drink her tea. She leaves it on the desk. This strikes me as a bad sign, and in Dominic's place I wouldn't've drunk my tea, either.

Dominic Swain, though, doesn't want to be impolite. So he tries to drink it, and it's old and nasty and tastes like dust and smoke and may possibly have poisoned him, though he doesn't say anything about that and apparently he survived to give this statement, so... maybe not.

Anyway, Mary Keay finds her Leitner and hands it to Dominic Swain.

Interestingly, it looks just like Ex Altiora, so these two must both be ones Jurgen Leitner had bound specially. This one's untitled and written in Sanskrit.

...And Mary laughs at the idea of reading it.

Well, fine. Be that way, Mary—I didn't like you anyway.

Oh. Then she walks over to the desk and uses it as a shade so she can stick the book into a patch of dark shadows. And the heavy metal music's stopped! That's a relief, not that I was imagining it in the background this whole time or anything.

And when she hands the book back to Dominic, the book starts dumping little, twisted animal bones everywhere.

See, that's just untidy. I disapprove.

Dominic wants to know if Ex Altiora does that, and Mary laughs again and tells him to check, so he opens it up and has a look and right away notices that some things have changed.

Somebody's turned up the contrast on the woodcuts, and there are new lines in the background of each picture, thick, dark ones stretching from the sky to the ground. And in the picture of the "empty" night sky, there's some kind of pattern, which Dominic Swain unhelpfully does not describe particularly well at all, though he does say he recognizes it. Also he becomes very dizzy and almost falls over and then decides to leave right away, which he does.

Apparently the smell of ozone is back, stronger than ever, and he falls down the stairs on his way out, giving himself a nasty bruise and a twisted ankle before getting out in the street and hailing a taxi and going home. With Ex Altiora. So... it didn't want to stay in the shop? Maybe it just wanted something that was there.

Oh, now he describes the pattern. It's the Lichtenberg figure. I know that pattern too, it's like a branching fern.

Though it looks different on different surfaces, depending on where the electricity started from and how it flowed, so that's still not a great description—but it's better than none at all, I suppose.

Dominic says he knows it from the back of his childhood friend, who got struck by lightning because of him. That seems unlikely to me. I mean, unless he staked his friend down and set up a lightning rod? Dominic Swain doesn't seem like the kind of person who would do that, though, so this is probably some kind of irrational guilt thing.

...Yup, that's what it was.

So he and his friend Michael Crew were eight years old, playing outside, it starts to rain, Michael says "Let's go in," Dominic says "Let's not," Michael says "All right," and then he gets hit by lightning right there? Yeah, that doesn't strike me as an "all your fault" sort of situation.

Oh, and now we know what the other smell under the ozone was!

Cooking meat.

So this book smells like whatever scent you associate with a traumatizing sky-related event? Maybe I wouldn't need the Tupperware at all.

Dominic Swain gets home and collapses on his couch, where he lies with a feeling that he's waiting for something. Looks like the book's still messing with his head (no surprise there). Eventually somebody knocks on his door, he opens it and somebody who sounds like either Kiritsugu or Harry Dresden on a bad day is on the other side: hair too dark for his skin, unshaven, tired-looking, long dark coat.

Dominic Swain asks if he's Jared Keay.

This seems like an odd assumption, but apparently it's correct because the man says yes, he is, and asks to see Ex Altiora.

Dominic shows it to him. He looks at it silently for a while—without touching it—then nods and offers to buy it for over $6000. At this point Dominic says he would've been fine with giving the thing away, except that he had the feeling that unless money changed hands it'd stay tied to him.

So he agrees and Jared leaves to get the money.

Dominic Swain, now all alone with a book which, frankly, I don't understand his reaction to (it's weird, sure, but isn't that just fascinating?) ...he decides to do some Googling.

He Googles Jared and Mary Keay.

And he discovers that Mary is dead.

Actually he discovers that Mary was murdered back in 2008, four years before this statement. She died due to too many painkillers, but then somebody flayed her body (probably with a straight razor) and used fishing line to hang the skin up around the study to dry. And then they just left her there, until the neighbors complained about the smell and the police found her.

Also, while she was an old lady, she had hair and no visible tattoos. (No word on how skinny she was or wasn't, though.)

So then Jared Keay went on trial for his mother's murder, which seems about right to me, and got acquitted after a certain piece of important evidence was deemed inadmissible, although nobody seems to know what the piece of important evidence actually was.

...A book...?

And then Jared comes back, because of course he does.

Dominic Swain lets him in. Jared Keay gives him an envelope full of money. Dominic gives Jared the book.

Jared avails himself of Dominic's solid metal trash can and burns the book on the spot. The smell of ozone clears right up. Dominic asks why he's burning the thing, but all Jared says is that his mother doesn't always know what's best for their family, which doesn't seem like much of an answer to me, especially when he could just say "What, doesn't it smell better?" or something like that.

Jared Keay picks up the hot trash can full of smoldering ashes and heads out. He does not, apparently, ever return the trash can. So that's rude.

...Ooh.

Mr. Sims says, "I suppose it was too much to hope that we’d finally dealt with all that remained of [Jurgen Leitner's] library after the incident in 1994," which... does that mean he's encountered supernatural books before? Back when I was five? And if so, why's he still a skeptic?

Apparently Jurgen Leitner's books are a currently active Institute project.

I wonder what the Magnus Institute is doing with those books?

He also says that his predecessor, Gertrude Robinson, was head archivist for over fifty years. Geez louise, that'll give an incompetent plenty of time to mess things up.

Also, it seems like Jonathan Sims definitely makes sure his assistants know which statements he's recording to audio before he records them, because they always have plenty of time to do research beforehand. He says the third one of his assistants, Martin, couldn't find any evidence that a book named Ex Altiora ever existed, so he had his assistant from the first episode, Sasha, give it a go and she couldn't find anything either.

I get the feeling Jonathan thinks Martin isn't terribly reliable.

Not sure why, since thus far he hasn’t shown any signs of incompetence, but I suppose Mr. Sims worked for the Magnus Institute for four years before becoming head archivist so he might easily know something about this Martin that I don't.

Also, he says "If there are Leitners out there that we haven’t even heard of, I fear that may be cause for some small alarm," and he wants the search for missing Leitners to be made the Institute's top priority in order to avoid harm to the world, so how in the heck is he still a skeptic? Is it that he only knows about specific types of supernatural phenomena, so he discounts all the others?

Maybe it's that.

They have no idea who donated the book to the secondhand store, none of the staff remember it, and they can't find any mention of Jared Keay after his trial except this one.

But Tim, with what I'm coming to think of as his usual disregard for rules, somehow managed to get hold of the official police report on Mary Keay's death, so we now know that the flayed skin left drying around the study had been Sharpied all over in Sanskrit.

...Wow, she really was a living book.

Except how does that work? Because the binding on that Sanskrit Leitner matched Ex Altiora's, and doesn't that mean she'd have to have belonged to Leitner?

Okay: Jurgen Leitner did stuff with Pinhole Books in the 90s, Mary Keay was murdered in 2008, and this story took place in 2012. So unless Jared Keay gave his mother's book-body to Leitner—oh, this just doesn't make sense at all.

The two must be separate.

Maybe Mary Keay's supernatural book can be used to turn people into books? Except that her body was still hanging around for the police to find, so... well, maybe that particular Leitner can summon book-corpses from local graveyards or something, who knows. Or maybe it just summons the skin, and the weirdly twisted animal bones it drops are what it uses for a base to hang the skin on?

Whatever the case, I'm really starting to get into this podcast.

#The Magnus Archives #episode 4 #commentary #late to the party

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 2

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 31: I went to Tesco’s at Hampton at @8pm. It was weird. But I made it less weird by buying (amongst all the legit stuff I needed and some stuff for Karen’s mum) more booze. I have, atm about 30 assorted cans and 60 assorted bottles. I’m gonna stop buying booze now until I’m down to the last dozen. I don’t want owt to happen and I leave many behind!

Day 32: More than a calender month! I was rung up by a recruitment agent today about a contract with DHL as a remote support engineer to their aviation section. €400 a day! I’ve applied. Few beers tonight, watching a new Netflix release (Extraction) and catching up with Fog, Ham, Andy and Rog later at 10:30pm - yikes, might be pissed.

Day 33: Typing this on day 34. Dossed around during the day, few beers and another video call with fog, Ham and Rig plus I invited John Monk along. He was his usual self and signed off from the call with a moonie! Later on I had the pleasure of Scottish Louise video calling me! She was pissed, in her shed drinking den at her home with some neighbour called Ronnie and her daughter Ellie. She was her usual outrageous self who imaprted such gems as “Tim, you look old” and “Roger on coke is the only time I’ve taken it up the arse”. Nice.

Day 34: Today I skyped Laurie and ‘met’ Matthew and Nicholas for the first time. It was bloody fantatsic. Janine was there as well.I cannot believe it takes lockdown (plus an idea to get Laurie to add me to his regular Monday skype chat with Dad) that managed to get us doing something that should have happened years ago! It was so great to talk to them all face-to-face. Janine hasn’t changed a bit, Matthew is very quiet with Nicholas being the more gregorious twin. And Laurie is still Laurie. I’m reminded of how much I sort of miss him! It was all so comfortable. I loved it! Tomorrow is Dad’s 85th hence the 3-way chat idea. I hope it comes off!

Day 35: So dad and Laurie and I skyped. It was OK but my video feed was very dark, (still dunno why) and Lauire’s kept freezing. I dropped out so as to leave them to it, my thinking being the extra person takes up bandwidth, with the promise I’d call dad later. Before I could, Rita called me and suggested Dad and I skype, which we did. So, all in all, a good day of comms! And Dad seems his happy usual self - 85 years old! Amazing.

Day 36: I am really struggling to motivate myself this week. Today, I’ve done fuck all of note. That is all.

Day 37: A similar day to yesterday. All I have really managed to do is lay down audio from Pink Floyd (Absolutely Curtains) to a video I shot of a cow on yesterday’s walk. I am having a downer of a week without any good reason why, ld aside. I have worn my new walking boots today (’cos my old ones are leaking, I found out yesterday) and they fucking hurt, despite having tried to wear them in for months, albeit pathetically. Also, a few days ago (Friday 24th April), I got notification from HM Revenue & Customs that I’m getting tax rebate (from 2018-19) of £392. Yay!

Day 38: I received notification today that I’ve got a speeding ticket…last Thursday back from Tesco’s - 87mph somewhere between the A1 and Elton. I am hoping it’s a fixed penalty. I dunno whether it is yet, I just have to send the form off confirming it’s my car and I was driving. I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords asking her to ask for a rent reduction before I sign for another year. Plus, I let her know that I will be Howard and Sue’s eyes as the look at rental properties in Oundle - I do hope they return although it would be a shame for them that their plans have been scuppered (she’s lost her job in Oz due to Covid-19)

Day 39: Today I started another piece of exercise - up and down the stairs 26 times. Not sure why 26 - it was some thing online to do with the London Marathon, I think. It fucking killed. I used 13 clothes pegs for a counting system. I asked Karen to pick up some stuff when she was shopping (burgers, radishes) - Dan dropped them off, He was with Shaggy (driving his van) and going to see Jonah. That pisses me off - they should be social distancing, ffs.

Discoevered, today, that Cornershop, post-Brinful are fucking excellent. listening to the album ‘England is a Garden’ as I type.

Day 40: That 26 times up and down the stairs is fucking hard. I did videos about it today. My legs are aching like fuck right now.

Day 41: Just done Young Sam’s (Sam Clews) quiz. 3rd week running and it’s now become a habit and something I look forward to. Out of all the internet driven socialising I’m undertaking in ld, this is the weirdest - I feel totally detatched from all others taking part but, now, would feel pissed off if I didn’t or couldn’t join in. I got 47/70 this week. My best score and only about 8 off the winning score  -  most others aren’t doing it on their own!

Today’s walk was a cloudy one - I captured some fine, dramatic pics of the clouds. I am getting into this photography lark, albeit very amateurish. But, when I post any pics online (mostly FB), they seem to be widely appreciated, which is nice.

Day 42: Applied for a remote service delivery job with a firm called TTEC. £60k. Finished watching The Outsider. The creepiest TV show I have seen in years. Really great use of background music.

Day 43: Finished Mindhunter S2 last night. It’s so good but I cannot quite put my finger on why. Today has been a nothing day apart from day 2 of me not typing the letter ‘e’ in any post or comments on FB for a week. It’s hard.

Day 44: Watch Anna last night. A Luc Besson film that starts a kick-ass suprermodel. It’s right down my street. Today I have been lazy af. I need to pick up my online learning again…tomorrow, maybe! I watched Andy Murray Resurfacing. A documentary on Amazon. Fantastic. What a top man he is. Completely human and completely inhuman!

Day 45: Much talk in the news of possible lockdown relaxation. I am off the opinion we should stay the course until we are completely assured of beathing this thing i.e. a working, widely available vaccine. Dad and I Skyped - he is doing well, as usual. So is Rita. They both seem very happy in lockdown! Today has been a glorious day, weather wise. I had my walkk at 10ish this morming and it was very warm. Hottest day of the year so far I reckon.

Day 46: Bank holiday Friday (75th anniversary of VE day). Nice walk. Chat with Karen letting her know about being caught speeding just in case I am banned and need some out of town shopping. Watched second episode of DEVS by Alex Garland. It’s good and intriguing. Now, @7pm, gonna eat and hit the beers and smokes.

Day 47: Typing this at 15:45 on day 48. I had lots of beers and a good old chat with Rog…

Day 48: Today’s daily press conference was eagerly anticipated today with rumours of a relaxation in lockdown. It seems it was a fuss about nothing with no clear instructions - I didn’t watch it but, skimming the BBC news site, I shan’t be doing anything different over the next few weeks, not that I would anyway - furlough and self isolation are the order of the day and I won’t change that until I am sure it’s safe. Meanwhile people, including Danny flaunt the rules, it’s been pointed out to me plus I know he spends time with Jonah and Marc. It really fucks me off. So, the actions of the few mean I will lock myself down for as long, if not longer, as it takes. Attended Sam Clews quiz again. It passes the time. Also, I had half a scotch bonnet chilli with tea tonight (roasted veg, cous cous and sausages). Ridiculously hot!

Day 49: Received the speaker I ordered a few days ago (from eBay). It’s an AudioPro Addon T10. I got it for a very reasonable price from a German shop. As a result, the power lead isn;t three pin and that has seriously fucked me right off!

Meanwhile, I did my 26 stair climb before my daily walk today. It was easier than usual (surprise surprise) and I did 7km - but that was tough! ‘Cos I am on (yet another) free trial of Amazon Prime, I am ramping up watching stuff available. Last night I watched Booksmart - really nice little film with a great soundtrack. I am listening to Dan the Automater as I type. Today I watched half (3 eps) of The Night Manager and the film ‘The Founder’. The former is a superb series, the latter an OK film about Ray Kroc - the supposed founder of McDonald’s. Except he wasn’t; he was the wrong side of ambitious and a cunt.

Day 50: Stripped the 2 pin cable from the speaker I received yesterday and wired up a 3 pin plug and it worked. Win. And it sounds great. Win-win. Went to go shopping in Hampton but the car wouldn’t start. Loss. But it was the battery so I managed to borrow Karen’s jump starter which worked. Win.

Spent £107. Loss. But just under £40 was booze plus £10 for two big pizzas, two sides (dirty fries) and some dips. Win. Didn’t do any online learning - seriously fucking letting myself down. Loss.

Did my usual walking and 26 stair climb. The latter is hard but defo getting easier. Win. Day 51: Sam’s 51st birthday on day 51 - coincidence! Today I received my face mask from Lou - House of Stewart tartan. I’m pleased with it and that I have got a mask now. I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, just left 09:00, and revisit my web design course. Module 1, lesson 5 and I am fucking stuck. Trying to code an online CV with a side nav bar and I cannot get it to fucking work. Grrrrrr. Later, i got into a FB dispute (easily distracted due to the above) with someone over his statement of fact (Tim Martin’s treatment of Whetherspoons’ employees) when he doesn’t know it’s fact. It probably is, but that is not the fucking point.  I wish I could leave these sort of spats alone. I am drinking, at 20:45, peppermint tea as I type. Jeez, what’s happened to me?

Day 52: Well, last night took a swift chnage. Rog message me and, to cut a long story short, I hit the beers, also called Foggy later, got trashed. I got up today at gone 1pm. Sam posted on fb that Paul had forgort her birthday yesterday. Oh dear! The 26 stair climb and walking each day is noticeable for how knackered my legs feel all the time, I noticed today!

Day 53: My birthday! Nice comments and banter of FB. Rachael brought round a bottle of whisky; gobsmacked. Karen popped round some beers and sausage rolls. Sam sent a card, as did dad with a £50 cheque. Dan’s ordering me a pizza later.

Chuffed! Day 54: I went to bed late after a lot of beers, huge pizza and chips, a few smokes and a long call with WWJ and video chats with Fog then Rog. Got up around 1pm and dossed with my usual exercises and I made fish pie with a scotch bonnet. Day 55: Late one last night but up early today (11ish). Really fretting about hospital tomorrow. Nervous anyway but the safety aspect, in terms of Covid-19, isn’t helping.

Day 56: Hospital appointment was just for an eye scan so the consultant can review it. I was very surprised to see how few people were wearing face masks! I did two lots of washing today. (After the hospital) I went to Morrsions, Asda (queue too long though), B&M (queue too long though) then Tesco’s. All to buy a baseball cap ‘cos I’m fucked if I’m going to wet my hair each time I go out and want it to look presentable! In Morrsions (no mens’ clothing apart from underwear!) I stocked up of 10 cans of sugarfree apple Caraboa….I was only thinking of this drink just the other day. Yesterday I finished The Night Manager on Amazon. I liked it a lot but, also, expected much, much more from it consdiering the hype. Hugh Laurie has come a long way from comedy sketches with Stephen Fry!

Day 57:Received an email from Sueanne yesterday asking ( as designated spokesperson for everyone) how I am. The most interestring piece of news in a rather uninformative email was that the US has started to open resorts!

Day 58: I am writing this on Day 59. I started a two walk a day regime. The first walk I do is shorter, around 4km. my aim is to be ready for 1,000,000 steps Diabetic UK challenge (throughout July, August and September). I need to do just under 11,000 steps a day. The relaxation in ld rules makes this achievable. On that score, I am allowed to visit a friend’s house, as long as it’s just the two of us, outside, 2m apart. I went round Karen’s last night. I was desperate to have a Happy Hour (I allow myself a midweek beer - today (well, yesterday) is/was Wednesday!) of sorts with another human (rather than a video chat). I was there for about 2 hours, very enjoyable, and then came home. Then I had usual roasted veg with rice and sausages but I couldn’t eat it. I used half a scotch bonnet rather than the usual birdeye chillis. It was too hot, had to sling it! Had a few more beers and, hence, neglected my diary duties!

Day 59: It’s 01:20am. I don’t know why I am still awake and up, but I am. But, also, I am now going to bed. Nothing else to report, really.

Day 60: Half way through 12 weeks furlough. I was discussing this with Dad and Rita earlier - I am expecting that, at the end of 12 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I hope I’m wrong but I reckon it’s well on the cards. Off to have a beer round Karen’s in a sec which will be pleasant. Just a hour or so. It’s fucking windy today so I shall wrap up!

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #COVID19 #lockdownuk

[menswearmusings]

After You Buy All the Essentials, Then What? My Personal List Moving Forward

Switching focus from the urgent to the important is a vital practice in the business world. Have you ever worked somewhere where it’s clear that instead of thinking critically about the core of the organization’s mission for ways to grow and improve, the focus is instead on whatever the newest, shiniest idea is (or often, whatever the latest crisis is)?

I always had a sense of urgency about buying clothes, because my goal was to dress in cool tailoring every day of the week in ways that I would consider meaningfully different. But being constrained by a budget meant I had to think carefully about what I bought, so I wouldn’t end up with something because it was a great deal, only to discover I had very little use for it. So I created a list of clothes I wanted that I imagined would comprise a complete wardrobe (for my tastes and needs). That helped me stay focused on my goals when sale season started and there were so many awesome things to buy.

Now, though, having largely built that wardrobe I imagined, I tend to get distracted by the new, shiny thing much more. I’ll find some product on eBay or in a shop on sale and become obsessed with it, going back to look at it over and over again. Without that hit list of must-buys to bring myself back from the brink, I always have a creeping sense that whatever it is I end up actually purchasing is maybe the wrong choice for me and I should instead be saving that money for some other, better purchase down the road. I’ve picked all the low-hanging fruit, but I have no personal guidance for reaching higher.

So, in an effort to try and refocus myself on buying what I can consider important purchases—not just those with the urgency of desire—here’s my list of next must-haves.

(By the way, if you’re just starting out and want some help building a wardrobe from scratch, check out my “Guide to Building a Tailored Wardrobe.” In it, I explain just that—how to have the right mindset about buying clothes, plus specific advice for versatility in clothing. Check it out here.)

More cotton-linen trousers for summer

Since becoming a dad—but even before then—dress trousers in wool just don’t get much wear from me. Primarily that’s because pants need cleaning more often, and I hate dry cleaning bills. But it’s also because I prefer a silhouette that just doesn’t work with dress pants, at least in wool. Jeans or even chinos made of denim or cotton twill drape differently and thus can work in the tapered cut I prefer. My previously perfectly fitting flannel trousers with that ideal taper from Spier & Mackay are now too slim because my calves got too big. So I have to go fuller. I’m fine going with that in a drapey wool, but day to day I prefer a slimmer knee and slightly tapered opening at the hem.

This is why cotton-linen trousers exist. Cotton-linen seems to have that perfect balance of cotton’s stiffness with linen’s drape, so they hang well but are forgiving if the fit isn’t bespoke-perfect or your proportions make things difficult. Pure linen just doesn’t give off the vibe I’m looking for typically (it feels a little more louche the way it hangs and rumples than I as a person am). And other options like wool-silk-linen blends are beautiful and amazing (I’ll get those below), but what I like about cotton-linen is I can usually machine wash it myself to no ill effect. Currently I have one pair, so it’d be nice to get another 2-3 to rotate through (much as I have with flannel in the winter). My list would be: 

A second pair of off-white 

Tan / khaki

Deeper brown

Maybe a light blue or mid-navy

Options I have for buying these: Spier & Mackay’s dress trouser fit is still my best bet right now, and I’ve been told they’ll have a crop of 7 colors of cotton-linen trousers in mid-April. That said, I also just purchased some pairs from Brooks Brothers’ Red Fleece line that arrive soon, made from fabric by the same mill as Spier’s, for $37 a pair that might work, too.

A rotation of good chinos and a pair of light wash jeans that fit

Chinos are nice because they dress up or down pretty well (you can wear a tie with them without it being weird, unlike five-pocket pants, but on their own without a jacket they’re good too), and if you get them in the right fabric, they’re pretty hard-wearing.

Finding chinos that 1- don’t have stretch, 2- are made from material that’s a good mid-weight, and 3- fit the way I want is extremely difficult. You wouldn’t think so but man it’s hard to find good chinos. And finding good, faded jeans with similar qualities is likewise hard without spending $200+. That said, if I can find them, what would make my wardrobe happy would be chinos in:

Off-white

Stone

True khaki

Possibly a pair in fatigue, which is a good color when it’s too hot to wear a jacket

Options for chinos are tricky. I like the idea of what fellow menswear blogger Ian is doing with his new shop Lost Monarch; $125 is hefty for chinos, but I suppose if they fit really well and the fabric rules, the investment might be worth it. I also always forget about classic chino maker Bill’s Khakis, which was always hailed as having the highest quality back in my early Styleforum days. They introduced a number of slimmer fitting styles over the years and are still fairly easy to find on eBay. Spier & Mackay’s chinos are a great deal but each time I’ve tried them, the fit’s been off for me in some way or other. I might try them once again this spring. 

As for light wash jeans, I’ll be looking probably at American Eagle, Polo RL, Abercrombie, Banana Republic, and other mall brands. Much as I’d like to get some 3-Sixteens or even Naked and Famous, they’re hard to get ahold of where I live and trying jeans on is critical.

A dark navy blazer in both single and double breasted configurations

I have seasonally appropriate navy jackets—one is wool/cashmere for winter, and one is raw silk for summer—and last summer I added a dark blue double breasted jacket for summer as well. When I recently tried on No Man Walks Alone’s Sartoria Carrara jackettried on No Man Walks Alone’s Sartoria Carrara jacket, which was a dark navy twill, I remembered why dark navy jackets exist: they’re classy as heck. All my navy jackets are slightly lighter shades of navy, which is great, but a good, dark navy blazer brings some gravity to an outfit, looks great in the evening and dresses up very well for more formal occasions.

That said, it’s gotta be the right texture. Hopsack wool is a good option; I would also be interested in some kind of blend like wool-silk-linen or similar. I’m not a fan of mohair, so I wouldn’t do that, and the high twist fabrics are tricky because they tend to look fairly smooth, while I like a little more surface texture. Given how much I like my SuitSupply Jort blazer, I’m hoping they release a double breasted jacket that might fit the bill this spring/summer. As for single breasted, I really, really liked that NMWAxCarrara jacketNMWAxCarrara jacket, so something closer to a 3-season fabric from him would be amazing. Of course Spier & Mackay has staple hopsack wool blazers in both their Neapolitan cut and regular cut, which sold out quickly in my size.

A dark navy double breasted blazer by Ring Jacket (model 6) I tried on at The Armoury in New York City. Click the image to see the product page of this actual jacket at their site.

A pair or two of summer trousers in a nicer fabric

Cotton linen trousers and chinos are as dressy as I need them to be most of the time in my life, but it’s still nice to have a pair of classier dress trousers in summer for occasions that call for it. I’ve had gray hopsack and fresco in the past, but those were more corporate than I was looking for.

Summer is the time for levity in the color palette, so I really like the idea of a light or mid blue (maybe a petrol blue). Every time Greg at No Man Walks Alone does spring pre-orders for Rota, they offer these beautiful wool/silk/linen blend fabrics, including petrol blue in the past, and every time, I love how they look but always stopped short of ordering for various reasons. A sufficiently textured, interesting blend in a light gray would also be nice and would be better than a corporate looking fresco or tropical wool. In the swatches below, which were for this season’s Rota trouser made to order options, the blue and gray at the top hold appeal, and even that green at the bottom.

Swatches for Rita wool/silk/linen trousers From No Man Walks Alone.

Some dress shirts from Anglo-Italian

It feels like I’ve been banging on about this for years at this point, I know, but their reverse stripe OCBD is great and I need to just pull the trigger and buy it. But beyond that, Anglo’s house dress shirt model is essentially the perfect shirt: the collar shape is an ideal wide spread with no tie space and that isn’t too stiff; the fit is comfortable but not baggy; and the details are all there both quality and design-wise. The back shirring is maybe a bit out there for many people, but these shirts are meant to be worn under a jacket, which is how I’d wear them. I’d buy white first then probably their blue end-on-end and maybe the bengal stripe. They’re expensive at $175, but that’s less than other comparable Italian dress shirt companies like Finamore or Borrelli.

A couple additional pairs of suede shoes

I love suede for its versatility in dressing up or down. What I wear 95% of the time are snuff suede penny loafers, snuff suede chukkas and tan suede tassel loafers. I’m looking to get more dark brown suede, which, sorta like true dark navy blazers, brings some gravity to an outfit. My penny loafers have been through some rough times; I plan to resole them (which they badly need), but it’d be nice to have a pair that aren’t so beaten up. I prefer a sleeker last shape most of the time (not pointy, maybe almond shaped) to the round lasts you see from classic Ivy brands like Alden, which are more casual and carry a lot more of that Ivy feeling (something I’m always trying to temper with more rakish aesthetics). That said, a rounded loafer of some kind to wear strictly casually is something I’d like to get to help share the load with the other shoes. I’ve also been really into the split toe derby look the last year or so. I tried The Armoury’s on when I visited there in 2018, and really liked it. 

So, the list would be:

Dark brown suede penny loafers

Dark brown suede Chelsea boots

Brown suede split toe

Dark or mid-brown suede beef roll or similar more casual loafers

I’ve noticed that the most comfortable shoes I love wearing the most are all made by Allen Edmonds, so I’ll be looking at those for sure. The Sea Island in particular looks awesome for that casual loafer. Beckett Simonon has some suede boots and given how comfortable their shoes are, their Bolton Chelsea looks nice. Meermin of course is another option for suede boots, and they have a penny loafer that might fit the bill for me, too. Spier & Mackay’s shoe offerings look very good, including this suede penny loafer. And of course the Armoury’s split toe derby is the one I’m most looking at for that category as I’m sort of picky when it comes to split toe shoes.

So there’s my hit list moving forward. I’ve already deviated from it this season by purchasing an excellent but not-on-this-list jacket from Spier & Mackay in 100% linen by Sondrio in a mid-brown glen check pattern. It surprised me how much I loved it, so I’m letting myself deviate from the list, guilt-free. And at the end of the day, the clothing hobby is all about enjoying life anyhow, and what could be more important than than?

(Help support this site! If you buy stuff through my links, your clicks and purchases earn me a commission from many of the retailers I feature, and it helps me sustain this site—as well as my menswear habit ;-)  Thanks!)

Read more at Menswear Musings

#Buy list #Priorities #purchase list #Urgent

[doctorbethblog]

This story has appeared in the NEW Star Trek print fanzine "Let Me Help" published in November 2019. The first part of the story is published online, but the rest of the story will only be available in the print fanzine. This fanzine is available on ebay and can also be purchased directly from the author Doctor Beth who can be contacted through PM on AO3.

        “Captain, I love you!”

          Kirk heaved Spock up again. The Vulcan was a dead weight, but they had to move. “No, you don’t. It’s the drugs.”

          “Of course I do.”

          “No. This isn’t you. Now. Move. Your. Legs!”

          Spock looked down at his legs throwing off Kirk’s balance. “My feet are agoing, agoing, a pitter, a patter. Oh, feet rhymes with teeth.”  He took a deep breath.

          Oh god, the Vulcan was going to start singing again. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be the one about Bilbo Baggins. That was awful. “Shh. We have to be quiet.”

          “All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth. My two front teeth,” Spock warbled, loudly and badly.

          “Spock, be quiet!” Kirk whispered.

          Kirk propped Spock up against a tree and did the only thing he could. He pressed his hand over Spock’s mouth trying to get him stop singing.

          Spock apparently did the only thing he could do and bit down on Kirk’s hand. Hard.

          “Ow!” Kirk pulled his hand back, his hand bleeding,

          The sound apparently got through to the drugged Vulcan who then said, “Are you injured? Did they hurt you?” He abruptly stood up and shouted. “Don’t worry, I’ll get them.”

          “Spock! Wait!”

          He took off before Kirk could stop him, staggering from tree to tree, shouting, “Where are you?  How dare you hurt my captain!”

          Kirk tackled him and they fell into the underbrush. Kirk pushed Spock down, but Spock struggled to get free.

          “Let me go!  My captain is hurt and I have to go save him!" Spock roared into Kirk’s ear.  

          “I am the captain!” Kirk had to practically sit on Spock to keep him down. But he could tell the Vulcan was weakening because he wasn’t immediately thrown off.  

          Spock struggled to get up. “You’re heavy!”

          “I know! That’s the point! Keep quiet!” Kirk whispered in Spock’s ear.

          Spock finally stopped struggling when he heard Kirk’s voice. He lifted his head and grinned as if thrilled to see his friend. “Hey there, Jim!”

          “Spock?” Kirk said uncertainly, momentarily stunned at this sudden transformation.  

          “Hiya!” Spock was still smiling. He was so high on whatever drug those guys gave him.  

          Kirk tried to check on Spock’s pupils to see how dilated they were when the singing started again. “In the middle of the Earth, in the land of the Shire…”¹

          “Hey! Shhh, shh!” Kirk hushed urgently. He was definitely going to ask why the Vulcan was singing about Bilbo Baggins. Later.

          “…Bilbo, Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins….”¹  He stopped singing, finally, then asked, “Why do we have to be quiet?”  

          “Because the bad guys are after us. That’s why!”

          “Oh yeah!” Spock collapsed back, giggling.

          “All right, we should try to get these restraints off.” Spock’s hands were still tied loosely together. They had left rather hastily, and Kirk had not had a chance to remove them.

          Kirk had not even finished his sentence when Spock looked at his hands. “Oh, you mean these?” He pulled them apart, ripping the bonds, and handed the pieces to Kirk, then lay back and closed his eyes giggling softly.

          “Uh, yeah. That’s better.”  Kirk looked around but didn’t hear their pursuers. “We need to put more distance - ” Kirk stopped when he realized Spock had started snoring. This was ridiculous. He pulled Spock’s arm over his shoulder and pulled the Vulcan upright. He was a dead weight and extremely heavy.

          Spock blinked when he realized Kirk was picking him up. “You’re strong,” he slurred, leaning heavily on Kirk. “No. Don’t. I can stand.”  Spock pushed Kirk away and then fell back to the ground.  

          Kirk sighed and hauled Spock up again.

          Kirk managed to carry, well, drag Spock through the forest. He wanted to put as much distance between them and the city as possible.  He only had to buy some time. They were due to check in soon and when they were late, the Enterprise would find them.  

          “I cannot believe you. Why would you do something like that?” He halfway expected Spock to not respond at all, but he was surprised.

          “Jim, they were going to kill you. Again.”

          “Spock, this may come as a surprise, but I can take care of myself. You could have gotten killed!”

          “It’s my duty to protect you.”

          “No. It isn’t!” Kirk hissed. “All right, maybe it is,  a little… but not like this!”

          Kirk was running out of steam.  Spock was heavy, and dragging him through the woods was not easy. He stopped. “I have to rest a minute.”  He eased Spock down and Spock proceeded to lounge bonelessly against a log. God. Kirk wished he could feel that relaxed.

          “Okey dokey,” Spock said as he leaned his head way back and seemed to contemplate the darkening sky as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Again, Kirk wished he could feel that relaxed, but he was tense with worry. It was getting dark and it was going to be cold.  

      Spock looked up from his log and suddenly said, “You know what I wanted more than anything when I was growing up?”

          Kirk wasn’t really listening to Spock.  He was trying to listen for their pursuers, but the wind whistling through the forest was masking sounds.

          “You have to guess.”  

          Kirk glanced at Spock. “Uh… snow?” It was the first thing that came to mind. Night was falling and it was getting cold and it might actually snow, or freeze. Luckily the drugged Vulcan didn’t seem to be feeling anything right now.

          “Nope. Not even close.”

          “Okay, I give up.” Kirk was still not really listening.

          “I wanted to escape that stifling, domineering, repressive planet,” he said bitterly, then sighed. “And now I want it back, more than anything.”

          “That’s nice,” Kirk said, not really listening.

          “Nice?” Spock said in disbelief. “I had no friends. My father was disappointed in me. The other children taunted me. My mother tried to protect me, but she was not able to because of Vulcan customs.”

          Kirk finally really listened to what Spock was saying and heard the anguish in his voice. “What about when you joined Starfleet Academy? Was it better?”

          “It was just school,” Spock said dismissively. “More lessons, then I started teaching, but there was no challenge. I was still treated as an outsider.”

          Kirk almost wished Spock would go back to the awful singing from earlier. This was almost too much honesty.

          Spock peered at Kirk through bleary eyes.  “Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?  

          “No, what?

This story is continued on the print fanzine "Not Even Close" so if you would like to read the rest please contact Doctor Beth through AO3 or on ebay.

#hurt spock #spock hurt comfort #concerned kirk #drugged spock

[autorobotcollectorx]

Another Furby Fandom Issue

Hey everyone i want to address a few things and i have been holding out on doing this because i am just so sick of this hate and drama against me.I am going to discuss some personal happenings in my life since i don’t think there is any other way of defending myself unless i am %100 truthful on why these things happen.I’m going to address my sales first then the harassment.

TRIGGER WARNING : Talk about suicidal feelings and actions(no gory detail but implied) Mental Health,Child Abuse Neglect,Depression,Sexual abuse.

I am selling some furbies and at good prices at that because i want people who can’t afford furbies to have a chance of owning some.I have explained to people or atleast tried to explain why shipments are late or photos are as well.Here are some answers to questions and concerns people might have had. 

Why is my shipment taking so long? Sometimes i ship next day and sometimes i cannot.This is due to my lack of mobility since i am not able to drive i don’t have a say in what time of day i do go out and by then the post office is closed.I also can’t spare the money to use uber because i don’t have a job and am unable to work. My fiance comes to see me everyday but he usually gets off at 8:00pm and by then all the post offices are closed.So usually we set up a day i can go out and ship the items.Please don’t forget about my shipping days i have no problem discussing that with you.A few people who also had delays were due to me being hospitalized(I made up other excuses because i did not want to put emotional baggage on these people)These amazing people were very kind to me and got their furbies shipped to then when i could.Due to my living conditions i get very depressed and yes suicidal and i had hurt myself that time pretty badly.I hurt myself allot in non physical ways but that time was different and i am driven to such feelings often.

There was also a problem i got with one of my costumers when he sent a payment and i was getting so many payments for furbies that i did not notice his until a week later when he contacted me asking if i had sent the furby yet.It really got me anxious that something like that slipped by me and i hope he has no hard feelings for that.Things like this also happen because allot does slip my mind when i am under allot of stress.

Does My Furby Work?Is It In Good Condition? If this question crosses your mind please ask for me to test the furby and to take outdoor photos i have no issue doing that.Please never be afraid to ask for a refund if the furby you got is not what you wanted upon arrival.No one has contacted me after but it seems like a person was not pleased with the quality of a furby they got from me?Yet they NEVER contacted me again so i assumed the transaction was a success.You have to remember furbies are over twenty years old and unless they are fresh out of the box most will not be in mint condition that is out of my control.The furby i sold i had named Dusty and was bought from a smokers home i just had not got around to washing him.

I Don’t Feel Comfortable Buying Using Friends And Family!! If this is the case please state that up front i have no issue taking payments threw goods and services.I have been scolded for it and now i am not accepting payments unless its threw goods and services from now on i did not realize i was causing an issue and i am sorry if i made anyone feel uneasy.I had paypal accounts in the past where the money was held for two weeks not even using ebay and this happened.I try to get furbs out to people as soon as i can and i sometimes worry that i will upset someone.

You Lie About What You Use The Money For This is the furthest from the truth!I have needed money for several different things at different times like everyone who makes money will do.Once i had it that i needed money for a con and why should that be a bad thing?I hardly go anywhere and cons don’t happen often for me.I am allowed to treat myself sometimes its none of you’re concern if i use my money to get a furby or a coffee even though most of my money goes to getting food for me and my animals.

I’m sorry if i have cause any issues to anyone nothing i have done was to spite anyone,anger anyone or to scam people.

IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO ADD PLEASE PM ME AND I WILL ADDRESS IT!!

You REALLY wanna know why i need the money?!

Currently i am trying to save $500 or more to get out of a household that is toxic for me.Thats not much money to many but i am solely selling furbies because i have ran out of personal items that have value to sell.My living environment is currently living in a small room with hardly any space little to no air conditioning and called a slob because i am unable to clean the mess my parakeets make.They don’t have a vacuum and my parakeets eat these small seeds that when they fly around their cage the husks of the shells fly out of the cage and onto the carpet.This room is also full of my grandmothers items because they are hoarders (in their own words).As well as all the drama causing me to be so depressed that i have had no motivation to clean.I am misgendered on a daily basis and told “Oh but you are too pretty to be a boy” and more inappropriately comments on my female chest and body.Told to shave and how much better i would look as a girl.As well as told i am fat because i have stretch marks and how i need to eat less.I have PCOS and since i have lived here i have lost over fifty pounds because i usually (If i am lucky) eat once a day or twice.Things such as an avacado and a noodle pack.Thats why i am so stressed on money that and i need to keep my animals fed and healthy usually putting them before myself.

Since i have been living here my family has stolen $400 i made by selling an aibo that was special to me,my phone was stolen and one of my most therapeutic pets was taken,I was then told i killed him and gas lighted for about a month in a half about what i had done even though in reality my mother had stolen him from me.She was upset because i had made some friends and was out at the park with them.It was easy because i have no lock on my door or privacy.I ended up stealing him back and i had the cops called on me.My narcissistic mother and abusive step dad came over to defend my mom saying i stole their animal and since i was ftm the cops (which i already had issues with before because of my identity) had me hand over my snake and taken to a mental hospital.While demanding i hand my snake to my mom i started to cry and shake my snake was VERY underweight and sick looking and i was afraid for his safety.When my step dad saw me crying he started laughing at me loudly then whispered to my mother who was smiling over at me as well and saying out loud “I love you” to me.When i was trying to explain more to the cop he said “If you don’t give them back their snake i will arrest you” while he put his hand on his belt near the gun.(if you want to hear the story in more detail i can send you a link)

I have always been told since i was a child that i am an issue and that i am taking up space,now i am an adult and i am always made to feel like i  am not welcomed anywhere i live and that i need to leave or will be kicked out.This is currently the case where i live and again i feel like i am a burden on everyone i associate with.If i am kicked out now i would have to live with a “friend” of mines again and have no choice but to let him use me again.This first time this happened when i was nineteen he was forty eight and had no wheres to go and i had no other option other then to go to him or rid myself so i wont cause anymore inconvenience.I come from a broken family and narcissistic parents so being an outcast is nothing i am not use to but still makes me want to hurt myself and hate myself more.I was always the black sheep,escape goat and nothing i did was good enough or mattered to my mother.The reason i am unable to drive is because of the physical abuse i faced as a child and denial of medical care after the fact.I just want to fit in and for people to like me.

Not to mention i have childhood schizophrenia and sometimes don’t respond correctly to people or situations. 

I just wish i felt welcomed in a community for once.All i have going for me right now that helps me is the furby and furry fandom.Furbies make me calm and feel safe because they remind me of my childhood before my mother changed and before i lived with my abusive step dad.I know i may seem childish but i’m not sure what to tell you i am the way i am because of my upbringing and sometimes doing silly things,using ^^,uwu,ect collecting and carrying a furby with me when i am in public makes me just feel a little bit more okay.Just feels like everyone is working against me and wants me gone like everyone else has.

Please if anything please stop sending me asks such as “Please leave you are so toxic” “just reported you~” and others calling me an idiot,stupid,scammer,ect.This is not what i joined the fandom for and you should really be shamed for treating me like this over simple mistakes that i did not even mean to make.Can everyone just please leave me alone if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself.

I HATE that i have to talk about all of this but i just want to get away from my family and i wanted to start a new life offline and online with people who like the same things i do because i have never had that kind of acceptance in a community in my life.I want to be with my fiance and safe from myself and my family.I want to be a good person and be here for people and treat people right.Funny thing the things i have said are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my abuse and neglect i rather not spill everything.

I am sick of defending myself at every turn here is what happened if you missed it. https://autorobotcollectorx.tumblr.com/post/186489467324/i-saw-the-post-reblogged-from-autorobotcollectorx

Again PM me if you have a complaint instead of re-blogging this and causing me further stress i really can’t handle more right now. I might as well sell all my furbies and rid myself at thispoint.

Edit: 5am and still awake..well guess i wont be sleeping tonight either.I slept good last night but the night before i did not sleep either.I’m just a restless hungry mess.

#depression #suicidal #furby discourse #furby drama #ftm #transgender

[timeagainreviews]

Doctor Who and Video Games

We live in the era of the franchise. Everything it seems is getting the franchise treatment. After the success of the MCU, everyone wants that sweet sweet money. We’ve got the failed Universal Monsters reboot, the Harry Potter extended universe, and endless Star Wars movies. However, some franchises, it would seem, struggle to grow further than their core narrative. Star Wars never strays very far from the battle with the Empire. Which is one thing you can’t really say about Doctor Who. Doctor Who has done fantasy, sci-fi, period drama, schlocky horror, whimsy, and utter rubbish. I’ve always admired Doctor Who’s flexibility as a property. It lends itself beautifully to a wide range of mediums, such as audios and comic books. But what about video games? Are there any good Doctor Who video games? Could there be?

Over the past week, in preparation for this article, I've completely immersed myself in the world of Doctor Who video games. I feel uniquely qualified to have an opinion on the subject. But before we continue, I give a word of caution. I'm talking directly to you, now. Never in your life, should you ever play "Doctor Who: Return to Earth," for the Nintendo Wii. It's not worth the £1.80 that I spent on eBay. You don't ever deserve to do that to yourself. I don't care what you've done, nobody deserves that. If like myself, you have played this game, you have my deepest sympathies, especially if you paid for it new.

It doesn't interest me to make a list of the worst Doctor Who video games, as many people have done this already. It's nothing new to say that Doctor Who has a video game problem. When I wrote that Doctor Who should be run by Disney, I don't actually mean it should happen. I was merely illustrating that Disney knows how to take care of its properties. I would venture that Doctor Who has always had a bit of a management problem. Merchandise from Doctor Who has always reminded me of Krusty the Clown merchandise. So much of it is some bullshit they slapped a Dalek on said: "10 quid please!" Barring the occasional home run or third-party licensing, a lot of the merchandise is pretty uninspired. Which is bananas, because the world of Doctor Who has so much colour and potential.

Video games based off of movies and television are almost always as bad as movies and television based off of video games. They're rarely breaking the mould in their new medium. Most of the time, tie-ins such as these are quick soulless cash grabs. You can see this a lot in the Matt Smith era. There are at least seven games featuring his Doctor, and then a sudden decline. Matt Smith was the Doctor during one of the show's biggest points in popularity. Never before had the show been embraced on such an international level. Of course, the Beeb wanted to push as many video games out as possible.

The problem is, they didn't throw a lot of money at it, and not one project seemed to get the focus it deserved. I won't pretend to know the motivation behind the BBC's forays into video games, but it seems to be a trend with them to overdo something, and then be scared of it in the future. They changed the 5.5" figurine set to a 3.75" scale and nobody wanted them. Because of this, we haven't seen nearly as many 5.5" figures since. They once put out a figure of Lady Casandra's frame after she exploded into gore. We used to get figures like Pig Lazlo and the Gran from "The Idiot's Lantern." Now we'll be lucky if we get everyone's favourite- Graham O'Brien. They also did it with the Doctor Who Experience. They make this brilliant Doctor Who museum with the OK'est walkthrough story, and then put it right in the middle of Cardiff. They wondered why it never made any money. I've been twice, and I gotta say- they should have put it in London. It would still be open.

This isn't to say all of Matt Smith's video games are bad. In fact, the Eleventh Doctor adventure games referred to simply as "The Doctor Who Adventure Games," are some of my favourite in the entire lot. And as much as I would like to blame the BBC for their lack of caring, the fact is Doctor Who is not easy to translate into video games. Even if they do care, they still need the right team on the job. Oddly, it's one of the Doctor's greatest charms that makes Doctor Who hard to translate into a video game, and that's the Doctor's stance on violence. If the Doctor could pick up a laser pistol and just frag some Daleks, we'd probably have an entire series on our hands. Unfortunately, most developers go one of two ways. They either ignore the pacifism or we get countless mind-numbing puzzles.

Puzzles are by far the worst element of any Doctor Who game. In the browser-based "Worlds in Time," there were a plethora of Bejewelled type mini-games and pipe matching puzzles. The puzzles got increasingly harder even if the player wasn't also getting increasingly better. Even the platformer "The Eternity Clock," was mired in constantly stopping to do puzzles. They pop up in the Adventure Games, but other than the infuriating "don't touch the sides," puzzles, they don't detract much from the gameplay. There were moments where I felt a bit like a companion because I was decoding a Dalek computer for the Doctor, which is really the money spot for a Doctor Who video game. Any time a Doctor Who game can make you feel like you're in Doctor Who is time well spent.

When asking my friends what kind of Doctor Who video game they would like to see, many of them mentioned they would like a survival horror type game. We sort of get this in many of the Smith era games. In "Return to Earth," the mechanic is sloppy and infuriating at best. In "The Eternity Clock," and the Adventure Games, it's a little more manageable. It's a nice way to add a challenge to a non-violent gameplay style. It would be interesting to see what a game team from something like "Thief," or "Resident Evil," might do with the sneaking aspect.

Another way the games have completely side-stepped the non-violence and puzzles is by having the Doctor act as a secondary character. The player is put in the position of the companion or perhaps a UNIT soldier as in the case of "Destiny of the Doctors." If you've not played DotD, I wouldn't blame you. I was hitting my head against the wall just trying to figure out what to do. The only real reason to play that game is for one last chance to see the fabulous Anthony Ainley reprise the role of the Master. He's in totally smarmy ham mode, even if it's a bunch of gibberish they shot in a day. You can find the entirety of the footage on YouTube and it's surreal.

The problem with having the Doctor be violent is that it doesn't feel true to the character. Sure, Three did some Venusian aikido, Four broke that dude's neck in "Seeds of Doom," and even Twelve socked a racist in the face, but these are isolated incidents. The spirit of the Doctor is lost in 1992's "Dalek Attack," when the Doctor is forced to go full on bullet hell on a Dalek hover cart. It's funny then that one of my favourite Doctor Who games incorporates a violent Doctor. In the Doctor Who level of "Lego Dimensions," the Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to make villains fall apart in a very safe Lego style violence. I can excuse this mostly because the game is not primarily a Doctor Who game at heart.

Funnily enough, the Lego game does something I've always wanted in a Doctor Who video game. I've always wanted to have a Doctor Who game where you could regenerate into different Doctors, and also go into their respective TARDISes. Sure, some of the games on the Commodore 64 allowed you to regenerate, but it was pretty naff in its execution. I tell no lies when I say I spent a lot of time regenerating and reentering the TARDIS to explore the Lego versions of their respective console rooms. Really, the biggest problem with the Lego Doctor Who game is that it wasn't it's own game. Lego Dimensions was its own failure. If TT Games would come out with an entire Doctor Who game, I would buy it yesterday.

The overarching problem with every Doctor Who game is the same problem Torchwood had- if it wasn't attached to Doctor Who, we wouldn't be interested. While I did have a lot of fun with the Adventure Games and Lego Dimensions, not one Doctor Who game has every element right. One has a good story, but poor mechanics, another has great mechanics but doesn't feel right. It's a bit of a tight rope to find the perfect balance, but I don't feel it's impossible

One of the reasons I would love to see a proper Lego Doctor Who game is that they have a history of good adaptations. They're not exactly beloved games, but I myself play a lot of them. One of the most impressive things I've seen them do was in Lego Batman 3, where they made each of the planets in the Green Lantern mythos a visitable world. Could you imagine the same treatment for Doctor Who? Visiting Telos and Skaro, and then popping off to medieval earth or Gallifrey? You could get different missions depending on which Doctor you were, or what time you arrive in. And the collectable characters! So many companions, and Doctors, and baddies, and costume variations to unlock! Doesn't that sound nice? You can buddy Jamie and Amy with Seven and Twelve and have an all Scottish TARDIS! A Zygon could ride K9!

The fact is, we probably won't see a very expansive Doctor Who game. I would be very enthusiastic for an open world Doctor Who game, but even as I type it, it sounds difficult to pull off. I may be able to say what doesn't work about the games, but saying what would work is admittedly, not as simple, but this doesn't mean I can't think of at least one good game. Piecing together some of the things I mentioned earlier, I think the best genre for Doctor Who is point-and-click adventures. I know I keep singing the praises of the Doctor Who Adventure Games, but it's because I think they were actually onto something. It's sad then that they scrapped any further developments to work on the inferior "Eternity Clock."

Could you imagine a point and click Doctor Who in the same vein as "Day of the Tentacle," or "Thimbleweed Park"? You walk around as the Doctor, pick up bits, talk to funny characters and solve complex problems. If you throw in a bit of horror survival, you've basically got the Adventure Games, which is my point- Do more with what they've already done. Grow the concepts. Improve the mechanics. A Doctor Who game should be jammed packed with Easter eggs, unlockables, and mystery. The point is, do more. Even their phone apps are abysmal. You know how much I would play a “Pokémon Go,” style Doctor Who game? You go around trapping baddies in cages you set off with your sonic screwdriver or something. I. Would. Catch. Them. All.

We still have “The Edge of Time,” coming to PC and consoles in October, and I'm pensively excited. While the graphics seem really top notch, in no way does it feel like anything more than a fun little VR experience. The game is going to remain exclusive to that small subsection of gamers that own a VR headset. Before it has even been released, it's closed itself off to yet another section of its very wide audience. Let's just hope that it doesn't scare the BBC away from making a proper Doctor Who game in the near future. And in the meantime, I'm going to have to borrow my friends' VR set, because of course, I'm going to play it. It's Doctor Who.

Well friends, thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun “researching,” this article. Playing Doctor Who games all week? Oh no, twist my arm! Sadly, a lot of these games are no longer available from their original sources. I was able to find a lot of them on the Internet Archive. If you want to give them a go, I would definitely suggest it. A couple of them are even capable of being emulated on your browser from the Internet Archive. The game I had the hardest time locating was “The Gunpowder Plot,” but I was eventually able to find it after some digging. I didn’t play any of the text-based games because I’m not very good with spatial awareness, and so text-based games are usually a nightmare for me. Sadly, Worlds in Time is lost forever, but I remember my character fondly. I also discovered I’m pretty good at Top Trumps: Doctor Who. Go figure.

#Doctor Who #video games #tardis #bbc #matt smith #eternity clock #edge of time #mines of terror #return to earth #nintendo #wii #playstation #xbox #lego dimensions

[mrs-yamada]

Coping Mechanisms

I realized I’ve posted a lot of stories about abuse, but none of the things I’ve learned over my 40+ years to cope with or lessen the everyday pain one goes through. It’s so hard to struggle through each day all by yourself by sheer will - as it certainly feels like, somedays.

You need to find some ways to deal with your pain! No matter how silly something may sound, if it works it’s not silly at all.

Obviously these won���t all work on everyone and some might irritate the heck out of you, because we’re all different. But if you put your own spin on them and think of what you enjoy to do, they could be helpful. 

I’ll add to these if I remember more, since I’m in sort of a downward spiral (parents visiting soon) myself...

Onward, under the break...

Sleep when you need it

If you can, that is. I have too many issues to work and luckily we’ve managed so far with one income, although it sucks. This does mean that I can cater to my individual sleep schedule, however, and I use that to my advantage. 

Don’t listen to neural typicals when they say “go to bed at the same time every night”. They’re normies! We’re not! Our bodies differ. You may actually benefit from doing as everyone will tell you, but a lot of us with mental differences benefit much greater from setting our own, very different (and rapid cycling) sleep cycles. I am currently sleeping from 6 am until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I simply cannot sleep until then no matter what I do - and in a few weeks, I know this will change and I’ll be back to 10 pm or maybe 12. The difference is I get the sleep my body so desperately needs, and it helps greatly. I know not all of us can do this, but if you can - go for it. Try it out. You’d be amazed how good you feel after actually sleeping.

On the flip side, though:

Don’t oversleep

No, seriously. We all have the urge to “never get out of bed”, but you’re just gonna feel like crap and get a headache. Sometimes it’s cool to do this but, you know. Don’t abuse the treat.

Clean up (yourself & the home)!

Yeah. This is another one of those “you see it everywhere” tips, but that’s because it does work. Even if you can only manage to brush your teeth, change your undies, whatever, you’ll feel a bit better. Same goes for your house/apartment/room. Clean a tiny space if it’s all you can do - you’ll feel like you’ve got more breathing room.

Don’t EVER want to shower/bathe?

We’ve been there. It stinks, no pun intended. Personally, I had to think of a great way to encourage myself to get the heck out of bed and bathe - bath bombs.

And not just the regular kind! Glitter, rainbows, especially the ones with little toys inside, those are the best for days I don’t want to wake up and shower. You can even use them (as I just said) in the shower. They act like shower steamers and smell the rooms up nice, too.

Make a “Power Outfit”

It could be a comfy sweatshirt, or animal pajamas (kigurumi). Maybe it’s a really wacky pair of socks or a shirt that features your favorite TV star or character from a series. This could include accessories, like a fun hat, headband, furry tail, superhero cape - whatever will make you feel great. Don’t overthink it. It’s not “weird” to wear what makes you feel better, no matter what.

Hide/buy surprises for yourself!

Again, this is one I absolutely love to do. I scroll around through etsy and eBay a lot as another numbing yet engaging brain exercise, and I look for the cheapest “blind boxes” and/or “surprises”. Blind boxes are packages where you don’t know what’s inside until you open it, just like the name suggests. If this doesn’t bother you, it’s great for buying yourself a surprise. I use this as stocking stuffers for myself, too. Ha.

Of course this works for things like a book you want to read or a puzzle you’d like to do. Maybe even wrap it and leave it in the “gift pile”. Gift yourself when you need a pick me up!

Another of my favorite things are called “surprise balls”. They’re balls of crepe paper strips you unravel, and each layer has a surprise in it. You unroll the rainbow-colored strips, dropping toys, novelty items, etc, as you go. You can unroll one layer at a time or all of them! Find them at etsy, you can even get them customised. 

Eat better. Exercise.

Trust me, I used to hate exercising (and when I say “hate”, I mean it). But it makes such a complete difference that I actually miss it when I skip on the weekends! Eating right (whatever is right for you, allergy-wise, dietary preferences, etc) also makes a huge difference. My mood lifted so high without the use of mind-altering drugs at all (societal approved medicine or otherwise).

Aromatherapy 

I’ve seen so many people FREAK OUT about this.

Relax. It’s not meant as a “cure-all” no matter what the MLM pushers say, it simply helps a little. And for those of us with a lot of problems, “a little off the top” is really a big help. There are different types of scents for different mood enhancers, but my favorites (bubblegum, lemon, orange) are citrus based because that lifts depression. (Google this if you’re want - there have been tests done researching depression & aromatherapy).

Use wax melts, incense, whatever - and remember that candles can be bought on etsy & elsewhere that have surprises in them, too! You take out the charms and gems and such as the candle burns. Win-win for a little pick me up!

Rainbows

Yeah, I know. I have little crystal rainbow catchers in my windows so that my rooms fill with rainbows throughout the day. You’d be amazed at how many times a surprise rainbow from one of them lifted my heart and made me smile. 

They’re not expensive, either. You can pop down to your local craft store and buy them in the beading section. Thread the bead with string or fishing line and hang it up on a suction cup or - really, wherever you can where light will catch!

Wait, did I mention craft stores..?

Arts & Crafts

I may be biased here, but there have been a lot of people that benefit from coloring books and crafts. They’re soothing, but be warned - they’re sometimes not good for mind-wanderers. If you’re “dump-trucking” bad thoughts, a mindless task will NOT be a good thing to do. I sometimes pair crafts and such with watching TV so that my mind and hands are busy at the same time.

Distractions!

Writing

*looks at self in reflection of monitor*

...yep.

This can help not only you, but others. It’s a relief to feel that you’re not alone, and when you come across something that helps you in a moment of need it’s awesome. It feels just as good to let it all out.

Write about your day, your past experiences, your hopes - anything. Heck, write fanfiction where the guys or gals or beings of your dreams help you get through things. Work it out. You don’t have to publish them. It will still feel good. And if you want to record your own in one area, or read specific fics, especially fanfics, I recommend the Archive (and not simply because I write there, ha)! 

Television/Movies/Games

Same thing for movies, games & TV. They may distract you, but that means you may get the odd, sneaky thought that creeps in. We all hate those. Oh, and watch out for triggers! Good flipping butt, so many triggers!

There’s a site that helps for tons of triggers (including books, games, etc) called “Does the Dog Die”. I use it constantly when watching new programs or movies. 

I personally do toon-fests where I watch so many cartoons, especially kiddie ones like “Molang” (so cute)! And I love using Minecraft for chilling out, game wise. Just, again... watch out for games. Man, they can be a pain sometimes if you’re getting frustrated. Stick with ones that you know are relaxing or you can play on “safe mode”. Don’t try to do a complicated campaign or grab that rare trophy/achievement when you’re stressed.

Music!

Yep. Music lifts spirits. And did you know if you search Google Play they’ve got free stuff? Like, a lot of it you might not want and there are a ton of religious readings, etc (if that’s your thing, then hooray)! But often I’ve found some really nice relaxing music with wave sounds, thunderstorms, etc. Of course you can buy albums too.

Voices

The same goes for voices. They can be very soothing and help you relax. There’s a whole bunch of Play apps where anime dudes and/or chicks talk you to sleep, or say comforting things. Well, technically, they’re real people speaking but there’s images of anime guys and gals. There are all types, so look around.

You could even ask your loved one to make a recording of them speaking to you or reading poetry, etc. It’s very helpful to hear a beloved voice - no matter who it is for you -- in times of need. 

Cuddles

Pets, stuffed animals, blankets, fellow humans... hugs help sometimes. Sometimes you really don’t want to be touched, but that stuffed animal or pillow can give you just the right snuggle to lift your mood.

Free stuff!

Every once in awhile I use a throwaway email and go freebie hunting on the internet. A lot of places will give you stickers, samples, and all sorts of stuff for free. If you have a PO Box or don’t mind giving out your address, this works so well. Mail surprises are the awesomest.

#coping #emotional abuse #mental health #mentally ill #mental disorder #IHATEwhenitsaysDISORDERugh #coping mechanism

[shamelessgallagherimagines]

The Stupid Little Things - Part 7/? Carl Gallagher x Reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / The rest of the parts

Y/N’s P.O.V

Carl was waiting for me by the school gates the next day, arms lounging lazily on the fence, backpack slouched on the back of his shoulders, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes as I walked past, him trailing behind me and eventually jumping in front of me so I slowed down, the smirk only growing wider and wider.

“Rise and shine asswipe,” he whispered to me and I scoffed.

“What the hell are you doing Carl?” I said disinterested and trying to push my way back through the school gates.

“I’m walking you to class Y/N. Try to sound fucking excited,”

He tried to reach for my hand, like her used to and I scowled at him.

Carl just laughed.

“Something wrong asswipe?”

“We aren’t friends remember”

He laughed again.

“I distinctly remember you said we were last night,”

I was going to be late for class and Carl was not going to let me go until I faced him. I’d actually thought a lot about the night before and whether I actually was ready to forgive him or whether I’d acted in the heat of the moment.

“It’s not exactly like one bear hug can magic away the fact that you pus-”

Before I could finish my sentence Carl had pushed his finger to my lips.

I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion.

“I also distinctly remembered the fact that we agreed not to mention that night again,”

I grabbed his hand and retracted it from my mouth, only to see an ever wider smirk

Jesus how big does that smile fucking get?

“But..” Carl began “If you don’t want to forget it, I also distinctly remember you telling me that you loved me, so you know, we can always hold onto that memory for ever,”

He was a dickhead.

A straight up dickhead.

When my mouth dropped open his eyes lit up with a triumphant glare and it took every ounce of self discipline not to kick him in the balls.

“Fine! Fine!” I said “We’re friends. But that doesnt mean things can just go back to how they were,”

“Course it fucking can,” he said, and I gave him the look.

The look I’ve branded as the ‘Don’t you fucking test me’ look.

“Besides,” he laughed “If things were the same I wouldn’t have met you here. I’d be outside your fucking window,”

I scoffed.

“You don’t know where I live Gallager and my new house doesn’t even have a ladder,” I said and he looked at me as if i’d just told him I’d sold Liam on ebay. “Oh boohoo Carl”

“You better fucking buy one Y/N! How else as I’m supposed to sneak in undetected”

We were approaching the English wing and receiving a plethora of confused stares as we walked, talking rather than screaming at each other for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. It had been a pretty well known fact that we despised each other. Self consciously, I let go of his hand.

This is the boy you’ve ignored for two years, things can’t go back to normal overnight.

‘There will be no sneaking in!” I said “Undetected or otherwise,”

“You say that now,” Carl said, swinging himself into the classroom “But just you wait until you see what a year in juvie can do to a guys chest,”

He wiggled his eyebrows and I punched him in the arm before sitting down in my seat beside him.

“Please,” I said rolling my eyes “I’ve seen seven year old girls with more muscle than you,”

He opened his mouth to say something but the teacher started the lesson so I looked back at him with a smug grin.

Naturally, he flipped me off.

I was sat at my lunch table alone, enjoying my own company, my head still firmly planted in a book when Carl walked over, throwing his lunch tray on the table and looking at me goofily.

“I’m seriously considering filing a federal complaint for stalking Gallagher,” I said flatly.

“Please,” he snorted “You love my company,”

“Define love,” I said, snapping my book shut and placing my hands over the top of it.

“Okay, tolerate my company,”

I cocked my head to the side and smiled

“But you better get used to me. We’ve got tutoring everyday according to Portman,” he said, grinning a little wider than he should have. 

“Everyday!” I practically shouted “Are they mental?”

Carl look a little hurt but brushed it off quickly, his arrogant persona soon returning.

“Ouch,” he said in a montone voice “What a fucking brilliant way to make me feel wanted.”

I cringed a little at my own words.

“Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is Fiona and everybody’s going to be sick and tired of me being around there all the time. It’ll be like having another kid,” I said, trying to explain myself.

“Fuck off,” Carl said “You know they’re so fucking up your arse they’re practically a colonic,”

“Nice visual image” I said, suddenly not wanting to eat my apple anymore.

“What I’m fucking trying to say is that they love you, you’re practically family and seen as you haven’t been anywhere near our house in the last 24 months I doubt they’d even have an issue if you moved in,”

“Still,” I protested “I just feel like I’m intruding you know, like I’m p-”

“Fiona said and I quote ‘One of my babies has finally come home’, Debbie thinks your god’s fucking gift to mankind and Lip hasn’t stopped gushing about since you left. Seriously he’s all: Y/N this, Y/N that, when’s Y/N coming over next, Y/N got fucking hot,”

“Y/N got fucking hot?” I repeated quickly and Carl smirked.

“I might have added that one,” he said.

“I’ll break your fucking nose Gallagher,” I whispered, only half-joking “So watch your mouth,”

“So, you’ll come over? Tonight?” he said.

“When did I agree to this?”

“Come on Y/N, stop being a little bitch,” he said playfully “Do you want me to fail out of high school,”

“Uh uh” I said “You ain’t fucking guilt tripping me into this shit,”

Carl just looked at me and I looked back, our eyes met in a gaze of seriosuness and stubborness. But of course we couldnt keep it up for long as both of us burst out laughing, an air of childishness between us.

“I’ll come tutor you Carl,” I said “But I swear to god if Frank tries to put me in the oven again, I’m out of there. And not looking back,”

Carl chuckled.

“You got yourself a fucking deal Y/L/N”

#carl gallagher #carl gallagher imagine #carl shameless #shameless #shamelessimagines #shameless imagine #lip shameless #debbie gallagher #lip gallagher #carl gallagher x reader #ian gallagher #fiona gallagher #ethan cutkosky

[notconsolation]

(when you have the time) another hiking story?🌲

(I’ve had time I’ve just been a little shit about it)

I’m not quite sure what to write about because you’ve now heard the stories i have that lend themselves most to being told. the others are mainly… experiential things? BuT. I did put on the list ‘musings on christiana’ at one point so I’m gonna scour my journal for things I’ve put in there about our least favourite (FAVOURITE) cowboy.

THis is gonna be long. if you’re a casual follower and you don’t wanna hear me ramble about my friends for a while then ciao best leave now. good GOD i can’t believe I’m sharing this shit but isn’t that what my entire online presence is. OVERSHARING, GO:

I actually originally meant I’d just write my thoughts when we met to when we parted butttt then i got curious and wanted to see how far back the first time I mention them is. Turns out it’s Sunday, February 26th 2017. the excerpt from my journal reads as follows: 

Life moves along and I spill alongside it and can’t find my own shape. Nothing fits and nothing feels good. I keep making up these paths and systems to get better but. But. I made a tumblr though. It’s 14:30 and i have done nothing today except tumblr-stalk a new favourite writer. They’re just. Aghj (incomprehensible squiggle). Can’t.

Oh my god. If only I’d known then.

Then on Tuesday, April 25th:

I’ve been thinking about my intimacy issues. It’s honestly not very comprehensible. There are people i can pick out that i absolutely love. And not because I have to. Loving someone is so much easier than wanting anything consequences of that love. I love Alessia, I love Becca, I love Avia, I love Christiana… it’s just easier? than what? who knows. It’s got me wondering, though. See, it’s got me wondering about why I love someone like i love stars and duvets and balconies and it makes me want to cry because holy shit that would feel so nice. Who knows, my guy.

Saturday, May 6th:

christiana met edy yesterday and i want to know everything. it’s beautiful and this ship has exceptionally eloquent sails.

Tuesday, May 9th:

Looks like christiana and I will definitely be meeting and I’m…… nervous. I think they wanna come with me into the wild. wow? wowow i’m…?? I think they get me well enough to not make this awkward. Not sure why I am able to trust them to accept me when…. 

Sunday, May 21st:

I got a few skulls on ebay and sent them to C. They more or less know. But I like the concept anyway

Sunday, May 28th:

my heart went too fast for a while on mandy last night so i wrote to christiana and i think we roasted tyler a little until I felt good again. Then I cuddled with someone. Can’t remember who. God I’m tired. I’m not sure I slept.

July 9th:

I’m at the Russian Chapel up the valley. My ears are so bad that my teeth hurt now. I’m still considerably ill. But! still moving on. I really fucking needed to. lovely people but… food. And somehow too much of everything else, too. OF what? Who knows. I did let C know I’m not doing so great with food, though. I hope she won’t judge. They. I don’t think they will. so at least she’s aware. They’re aware. I feel like an idiot every time I get it wrong but. Ya know, it’s just a thing I never heard or said for the first 17 years of my life because it never came up. So in my head I often subconsciously do the ‘she’ thing. Edy is solidly ‘they’. Jon is always and without hesitation ‘he’. But sometimes it takes a few tries with other people. I have no idea why

July 14th:

I’m at the station listening to a podcast on Morgan Le Fay. I’m nervous now. What will we talk about?? Internet conversation is. easy. My ears are better. I don’t know what we’ll talk about. Shit. I’mm not good at this and i care about this? They’re the kind of person that I feel like I should’ve known forever. As in, i feel like this would be the kind of friendship that was good for both people and gives something that i needed. So. I shouldnt be worried then. But? Can’t help it. I mean maybe it could help that we’re both like this. we may be able to just sit… in…. silence. that. WASN’T intentional. god. aw shit I hate me when I’m like this. is this what it is to care if someone likes you when you meet them??! God, this is awful? Is this what people usually feel how awful. How cool. I think the train’s coming in. I’m barely paying attention to the podcast

July 15th:

I feel like I talk too much. it’s not the easiest it could be but it could definitely be harder? They’re quiet and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m yelling or saying too much and oversharing. Sometimes? uhhhhh all the time but I think that might be my default setting anyway

July 17th:

Didn’t get a chance to write yesterday but! it was as approximately lovely day. Just wanted to record that

(later)

walking with someone is strange. we’re at the place we’ll sleep at now. It was gentle going getting here and I guess it’s gonna take us very little time to get back. I buy coffee and they buy bus tickets. works out. walking with someone is strange but especially given the whole nature of this trip, it’s not too weird. I think because I never got to feel alone, I don’t mind sharing it. I think they’re having an okay time? I hope they don’t regret coming. So what if this whole trip has been… not the seclusion I wanted or needed. Meeting them was still great and I wouldn’t prefer a timeline where I called the trip off. I get that feeling that I have sometimes with Alessia, as if I’m trying to entertain or something? like a part of me wants to be stilted so I have a layer in between in case they turn around and say they don’t like me. I fear I’m telling them too many things. About me, about my thought process, about random things that pop into my head. About things I know or want to know or have picked up. I fear I’m disturbing some sacred silence. Especially because I prefer silence myself. And they’re patiently waiting for me to finish. I worry a lot considering what a good time I’ve had? We ate and laughed and talked. I am so fucking relieved that bipolar occurred to them when I described my brain cause I thought i was doing my insane self-diagnosing thing. We tried horse and i couldn’t tell the difference. We saw some Big Boy Moths and birds called tits. Vultures are unremittingly ugly but i like them? there’s a certain kinship. This isn’t how it usually goes and I wish I could say that without sounding whiny

July 18th:

All my compasses say the sun rose in the north east. Slept pretty well. the sunrise was gorgeous. C said it was more comfortable than expected. It was actually really comfortable. Listen, this will sound like something it’s not but future hannah will get what i mean but honestly their eyes are so beautiful? it didn’t come across in photos. uhh that’s all.

July 19th:

We found an open door in the compound. I think we slept on someone’s office floor. We left around sunrise and had multiple coffees by the river. played so ukulele. listen, this whole thing wasn’t normal but i’m so glad we fell into what we fell into. this feels safe. There were people outside going back and forth in front of the door all night and i dont think i really slept but it was still Good. We lit a candle that slowly started to smell nice. when we left, we left a single cigarette and a licorice cough drop as thanks to the old gods. either way, we parted quickly, just a quick hug and a vague notion that we might do this again? Good.

August 7th:

I just finished the cowboy fic and never has what essentially amounts to a giant meme of beautifulness touched me so.I swear. They’re ridiculous. The cowboys and Christiana.

jesus reading back through these made me happy but also made me cringe a bit because this is what my inner monologue sounds like around people i care about a lot of the time and i sound like such a whiny anxious asshole. uhh hope you enjoy. jesuz.

#long ass asks #phew #turns out i have a lot of musings on you you cursed cryptid? #this was so strange for me #ohmy god imagine if i went through my journal and chronicled my thoughts on everyone in it #uh no

[ykmv]

Your First Fountain Pen

For a beginner, and a student beginner especially, the largest consideration is price. I have had all the pens mentioned as good starter pens (except the Al-Star and the Loom, but have borrowed both multiple times from friends) and they are all good pens. Even the Petit1 is a good pen!

For "credentials", I have convinced more than two dozen people the past year to buy their first fountain pen. As far as I know they all still use the pens. Hashtag penvangelism.

My default answer to people who want to buy their first pen is the Pilot Metropolitan. Why? A lot of people (especially at my age; '90s kid) are used to ballpoints and gel pens. I know exactly one person in my life who uses a rollerball pen. This means most people are used to thin line widths which, in my experience, only the Pilot Metropolitan <F> can offer. I've used the EF nib of Lamy and TWSBI and both are demonstrably thicker than a Pilot Fine.

The logic behind suggesting a pen within the prospective convert's comfort zone is that you don't just want to suggest a good pen to someone, you want the person to keep using that pen and abandoning the use of non-fountain pens. Easing them into it helps.

Back to price. In my country, a Safari is three times more expensive than a Metro. The Safari does not come with a converter. Even if you want to switch to a Con-50 or Con-40, the Safari is still more than twice as expensive—I hate it). In my country as well, the Eco (about $40.00 here) is two dollars away from being four times as expensive as a Metro. This is a huge difference because even if we "sell" fountain pens as being built to last, most first-time buyers are perfectly fine using a $1 Pilot G-tec. They absolutely love the G-tec. A Metropolitan is fifteen G-tecs. To stretch the comparison a bit, a Porsche 911 Carrera S is just five Toyota Corollas.

A super budget pen would be a Preppy, a Petit1, or a V-Pen. The cap of the Preppy breaks with regular cautious use and a Petit1's clip will break-off. A V-Pen is too cumbersome to refill unless you have one where the feed can be pulled-off (mine can't, even with pliers). A Plaisir might be nice but that terrible looking nib and the local price have stopped me from trying. It is pretty cheap in China though (about $12) so..

I do like Chinese pens because they're so cheap. Definitely good writers when you find them (I have bought probably 30+ already this year, some for myself, most to be PIF-ed or sold and get people into Chinese pens). There are a few concerns for me if it's someone getting their first few pens. First, there will be lemons even if you buy from the "reputable sellers" we often hear. Even if they all write and are in good condition, some write better than others. I once bought a lot of 10 pens. 7 wrote well but 3 wrote incredibly incredibly well. Returning them or contacting the vendor will be a pain. The wait is also excruciatingly long and the pen might not arrive at all.

Another thing is consistency. eBay sellers would actually indicate if a Chinese pen was "M" and in some cases even put nib width "0.5" which is what I think a lot of pen users here (me included) wished pen manufacturers would do to standardize how thick pens are. But these listings aren't always true. A "0.5" actually doesn't mean "0.5". In fact I found a listing last night in Taobao where the seller had a table that "0.38" is actually 0.38 to 0.6 and "0.5" is actually 0.4-0.8 or something like that.  

Now, why would you not buy a Pilot Metropolitan? Besides an uncommon problem of some people reporting that it ejects ink into the cap for no reason, the most obvious are the large step and the design. For quite some time, I didn't get a Metropolitan because the design didn't speak to me. They wrote well enough but not well enough for me to get over the weird middle band. I just couldn't understand why the background of the middle band was different in shade to the the rest of the pen (in MR1), and later on the animal bands just horrified me (in MR2). Eventually I got used to the design and I have three of them right now (I've owned five in total). Then there's the step. From all the pens mentioned this has the largest step. I understand why the step is there but I still prefer a pen that is streamline uncapped versus a pen that is streamline while capped. I look at pens when they are ready to use, not when they are to be kept in storage. I have since been able to modify my grip when using this and similar pens such that they are no more uncomfortable than other pens (my fingers sort of cling to the ledge of the step). You could also get a Kakuno instead! It is being introduced to more markets and it’s a good writer in fun colours. Somehow, my Kakuno felt sharper than my equivalent Metropolitan though.

That said, Pilot Metropolitan <M> sometimes have a tendency to skip when you first write with them. The problem miraculously goes away after a short while. I don't know if it is baby's bottom because I haven't gotten around to getting a loupe. I have bought and handled a few used Metropolitans and none have skipped. Now, why would you get a Safari instead? While the nib width and quality control is a bit of a lottery and the inner cap does tend to break down, both problems are easily dealt with. The biggest draws for me is the easy exchange-ability of nibs matched only by Kaweco among current pens. Of course, depending on the market a Lamy nib costs more than a Metro... The section/grip of the Safari is also talked about a lot. It really depends on your grip and it's important that you be able to borrow a pen first before you buy it. There are also people who buy the pen after trying it in the store and then sell it a week later because it's too big or too heavy but these are unusual people. For me, the Safari is easier to hold than a Metro even if I don't hold pens the way Lamy wants me too (only one of my fingers is "where it's supposed to be").

Why don't you get an Eco? The grip is the easiest to use and the capacity will not leave you wanting. To me, the largest barrier is again the price. You must be a great fan of the demonstrator look and the piston capacity if you want this pen where I live. In the US it is the same price as a Safari so that might not be a consideration for others, of course. I do like the screw cap (I wish all pens were screw caps) but if you post your pens this has the worst posting experience among all of the pens mentioned. I'm sure it's secure but it doesn't inspire you about its security. I also think it looks the worse among all the pens. I actually like how the Preppy looks more than an Eco. The all clear version looks really great though, up until you fill it and ink inevitable gets on and behind the inner cap...

The Eco performs at a comparable rate to the Safari (again, I think they all write well albeit slightly differently) and it may come down to personal preferences. Do you value nib-swapping more than a piston's capacity? Do you prefer a screw cap to a snap cap? If you want to experiment with unusual inks you may be better off staying away from the Eco. There's too much worrying involved in keeping the barrel pristine.

Is anyone still reading?

Alright, a Kaweco Sport is alright and I really like the look. Besides the possibility of a poor nib (happens to all manufacturers anyway), you have to be open to dealing with unavoidable barrel wear. Unavoidable! You also need to post the pen to write with it. Another thing is that if you want to use cartridges on a transparent Kaweco you should know beforehand that it looks pretty lame. A lot of people complain about proprietary cartridges and there was a recent post here about someone making a permanent international cartridge; Kaweco needs to make a proprietary cartridge that fills the length of the Kaweco barrel. Short international cartridges look terrible!

A Loom is great and I really want to buy one save for two worries. First, the cap looks really bad and there is something off in the way it clicks shut. It also has a terrible looking clip. It is the pit of cap-shutting feel, at the opposite end of the Prera. Another is that it there is a risk of parts incompatibility. It's standard international but not all cartridges and converters work on it. A friend bought a Faber-Castell converter from the same store and it didn't fit..

The Prera is great (I really want a slate grey one) but do you want to pay that much more for the same writing end as a Metropolitan? Locally, it is about thrice as expensive as a Metropolitan. I’m not going to buy one brand new. On the secondhand market? The going rate is about five times. Again, a Porsche 911 Carrera S is just five Toyota Corollas. It face the same problem of Lamy system pens. You really need to want the different, more expensive body because it’s the only thing you’re paying a premium for. You also need to post the Prera to be able to write with it. If you're Kawhi Leonard don't even consider it.

For the less mentioned pens a Parker IM I think is the most expensive mentioned here. I have one. The clear coat has come off in spots and it's very ugly because of it. I think it's a good review pen because it's so easy to clean even if you can't remove the nib or the section. I would not recommend it. It's a $10 value to me. I also have a Parker 45 and it's good, smooth, and easy to disassemble. I think it's also the one with the most "character" among all the pens. I would caution everyone as to nib width though. I bought an NOS "45" that had a “fine nib” and wrote as thick as my Medium Safari. Very smooth writer, sure, but it needs an IG ink to be at a width I can work with. Otherwise I can only use it to underline my readings and that would be pretty sad for your first and only (so far) pen.

#starter pen #fountain pen #pilot #pilot metropolitan #metropolitan #beginner pen #kakuno #loom #kaweco #lamy #lamy safari #twsbi #eco #twsbi eco #prera #platinum preppy #platinum #plaisir

[dennisprocopio]

This is a must read. A MUST READ. It is the ending to this epic adventure that I could not have written, and proof of everything that is holy to me in my practice. It is a story about miracles.

I spent the night at the Comfort Suites in Barstow. The following morning – this morning – I was met by a tow truck, provided through Progressive Roadside Assistance. The driver was s fellow bike owner, and related a story in which he rode from L.A. to Vegas and did exactly what I did…. ran her hard, didn’t keep a close eye on his oil but rather assumed it was fine, and had it towed to a local mechanic. He prepared me for the worst by telling me how his story ended. The mechanic offered him $500 for the bike, he took it, and found a way home humbled…. but lesson learned.

I rode along with him irritated at myself. I had done everything else right. Brought tools, had my mechanic teach me to do all of the basic maintenance I might need to do out on the road. But OIL, man…. that’s like the primary thing everyone knows. EVERYONE. Engine parts create friction, and without proper lubrication you can destroy your engine. Damn, damn, damn.

But in my business – Man-UP! Life Coaching – we disallow self punishment. It has no value, and only attracts more “bad luck”. Instead we self-validate. This feels awkward to most guys, myself included…. ESPECIALLY when you’ve just done something so frustratingly irresponsible. But okay, no worries Dennis. This is fine. You’re a good guy. Accidents happen. Man-up and take your lick.

We get to Mel’s, and it’s a bike shop in the desert. His mechanic Mike comes out to meet me, then Mel follows. Nice guys, but straight-shooters. They are t gonna bullshit me here. The fact is the engine is shot, and a rebuild is gonna be at LEAST $2,000.

Silence.

More silence.

I ask if there’s any wiggle-room on price, trying every single angle to find a way to make this work. But the very most I’d consider spending on the bike at this point is $800. Any more than that and I’m better off selling its D.C. putting the money toward a new bike. Here come the voices again: YOU MORON!!! But I fight back with humility and acceptance. I did this. Now I’m waking away from my bike. I ask Mel how much he’d give me for it. He says that frankly he’s neither looking to buy a bike, nor does he have liquid cash to put toward something with a very low chance of reselling at a significant profit.

Silence.

A tumbleweed blows by.

He says he might be able to give me $100 for it.

Silence.

Then I sigh and take a picture of it. I’m letting her go. I screwed up. It’s over. My blog ends with a blown engine and no more bike. Hero to zero, just like that.

In the shop. Mike the mechanic feels my pain. He says that he’s sorry, and it’s very genuine. He had integrity, and wants me to understand they’re not hoodwinking me. A blown engine sucks, he gets it, and is showing a brother some love. I do my best man shit and say, “Meh. I did this. I own it. I’ll know better next time.” But yeah man, I’m down. Falling is one thing….. it’s just physical. But this kinda down takes your motivation away. I see it all the time in coaching.

Mel offers to give me a ride back to my hotel. I strange to come back up here to Barstow with a pink slip, take the $100, sign it over to him, and strip all the toys off of it.... saddlebags, seat cover, USB phone charger, etc. All the things that made my trip a success otherwise. The sadness is hitting me hard.... And then for comic relief, I open the door of his truck and a damn squirrel comes flying out and scares the shit out of both of us. LOLOL. I'm like, dude.... clean your truck, amigo!!! LOLOLOL. We start riding and talking, and the chat is a good one. I'm genuinely interested in the guy. He seems nice, but..... well I get that feeling that I get when maybe there's something under the hood that could use a tweak. He opens up to me in our talk (I have his permission to share this, by the way) and he reveals that he's a dad and husband working hard to keep his family together. It hits me. The feeling. I know what this is. God is doing something. We park the truck in the parking lot of my hotel and talk for a good half hour. Just as he professionally diagnosed my bike, I know diagnose his circumstances. I tell him just what he told me. I can fix this, but it isn't cheap. He listens. I explain the process. He says that like me and my bike, he doesn't know how to fix this on his own but he also doesn't wanna walk away from it. I say he doesn't have to. I offer him a trade for services. You fix my bike, I'll fix your relationship. A six month package valued at $2300 in exchange for his labor (I'll buy the new engine off eBay or somewhere(. He not only agrees, but with a handshake that tells me he appreciates that he's getting a deal. His face lights up with hope. Just like mine when I realized this is NOT goodbye, dammit. My blog ends when I ride that bike the remaining 172 miles from Barstow to San Diego. In the meantime, Celia and Bennett are on their way here to the hotel to rescue me from a Greyhound ride that would probably not have been a fairytale ending.... LOL. It ain't over, y'all! Stay tuned for the final post!

#ibelieveinmiracles #melsmotorsports

[heyo-its-beth]

Steps I’m Taking to Become a Functional Human (WIP)

Step 1. Taking Care of Pet Peeves

Well, I started with one thing that was bothering me the most, buying hand soap.

Step 2. Cleaning My Bedroom

Now that I have completed that, I feel a bit better and I’m going to start cleaning my room which sounds terrible. I looked up how to clean a room and while I’m sure the steps they provided helped some people, I hated it and decided to start with my clothes/dirty laundry.

Find all the clothes I can and put them in the laundry basket

Wash them all if you’re like me and have them in the floor, on the bed, on a dresser

Take sheets, pillowcases, blankets, etc to wash next, after your cycle(s) of clothes.

Febreeze your bed

After I do that, I can see more of my floor now, so let me pick up all the shoes I can find, put them in a box or just on the floor, and move them out of the room.

Now I can start going through all the random papers and bags on my floor and decide what’s trash and what I need to keep. This is a great place to get distracted and if you really need a break, listen to a playlist/song and set a 15 minute timer before you start cleaning again. It’s tiring if you’re like me.

At this point I want to organize my desk and the top of my dresser, which is where I keep all my hair product, facial care, and candles. I need to actually throw away some of the bottles. I need to accept the fact that I’m never going to use the rest of that product and that’s alright! I’m learning what works for my hair.

If you went ahead and organized your surfaces, great! If not, also good job that you’ve accomplished something, even if it’s just reading this. It can seem daunting, but I know that for me, having a clean room feels better even though it absolutely sucks doing it sometimes.

Next I would maybe check on my laundry just to see if cycles need to be switched. If you’ve still got some time and you haven’t already, get some Febreeze or something similar and spray your bed. I know some people will cringe at this but I sleep aggressively and pull off the fitted sheet so half the time I sleep on my naked mattress, so I think this step is really important.

This is probably my least favorite step of cleaning, but try and dust your fan blades. This is probably one of the things to do first, but I’m a rebel and I’m forgetful. If you have allergies or you’re sensitive to dust, try and wear a mask during this step and go grab a coffee, tea, water, or food if you want while you wait for the dust to settle a bit.

After relaxing my next step is going to be sweeping, which can stir up the dust a bit, so mask up if needed! Sweeping is probably my favorite part, because if you have a hardwood floor like me, it’s nice to appreciate a nice clean floor that isn’t gritty or crunchy. If that made you cringe or worry about me, I apologize, but if you have this avoidance of cleaning like me then just know you're not alone and it’s ok. :) We all deal with something like this.

Now is the time for final touch-ups and bringing our shoes back in and maybe even moving furniture around. This is my second favorite part, because once you finish this step, you’re most likely done cleaning your room! Congratulations! And if you haven’t made it to this step, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can get your room clean soon! I believe in you. :)

*I completely forgot about the closet, but I basically took everything out, divided the stuff into three sections: Keep, Questionable, Trash. I determined how to sort questionable by asking myself the following questions*

When was the last time I used this/thought about this item?

More than 3 months ago? Probably trash

What will I need this for in the future and do I currently have something serving that function?

If you already have another Item that you use frequently then Trash

What even is this?

IDK → Trash

There may be some other factors, but evaluate your items harshly. You probably don’t owe that item anything so throw it out! If you find old clothes (not underwear) keep them in a separate pile/bag/box and wash them and donate them! Even some toys or items could be donated if they are still in good condition. Or if you’re looking for extra cash then you may even want to consider listing it on Ebay or having a yard sale.

Step 3. Cleaning the Bathroom

I hate cleaning the bathroom. I basically just take everything I can out of the drawers, cupboards, and shower and leave it somewhere else.

If you’re like me, you might get hung up at this step as you furiously clean bottles and read labels. That’s alright, take your time with this. It’s hard to clean.

Next I would start in the shower or the farthest place from the door and just scrub and rinse until it’s as clean as you can get it. Don’t stress too much as cleaning the bathroom can come with many smaller projects than you need to take on right now, unless you think you can, then go for it!

Now if you have a small bathroom like mine, there are small nooks and crannies that can be hard to get to, so make sure to check thoroughly if you want to. I’m going to scrub the toilet and sink next, but feel free to start on the floor. I like to work from farthest from the door (which is my shower) then the walls if they’re dusty, then the toilet, then the sink, and finally the floor. I’m sure some people may need to sweep frequently, and that’s fine, do what feels right. After all that, I’ll probably end with the mirror before I start organizing.

Again, dusting the fan blades may need to be a beginning step, but it’s up to you if you even want to take on this task! I recommend it though.

After putting everything back into place, you’re done! Organizing may take a while as you might have to trial and error where things belong, just try and focus and relax when doing this step.

*I’m sure some people may have other rooms to clean as well, but I’m a teenager, so unless I just really have a lot of extra energy, I won’t be cleaning the rest of the house or buying groceries any time soon. Good luck to anyone who does need to do this! Start with the most obvious problem in a room or just remove clutter and start from there!*

Step 4. Finishing Touches

While I only have trash bags from the bathroom and my room, I recommend cleaning other rooms if you live on your own. I've thrown away empty bottles of product that I never use and probably never would have used, old razors, random wrappers, obvious trash, and other things I had been hoarding but didn’t need from my closet.

On your trash run, make sure to recycle and donate during this trip if you have time. Donating can be a good way to help the community and a way to help you feel better.

[kuwaiti-kid]

Thrift Stores Near Me: Find Great Deals in Your Area

If you're wondering, “where are thrift stores near me?”

You will most likely have several options to choose from. Because we live in a world of abundance, many people have too many items in their houses and sometimes donate these items to thrift stores. You might even be looking for a thrift store so you can give your items.

Some thrift stores get their entire inventory from donations, and some get so many items that they run out of room to display everything for sale. It's nice to live in a world of abundance, but lots of things end up being thrown away because there is simply too much stuff being produced. Thrift stores serve a useful purpose by reselling items that are still usable that would have otherwise ended up in a landfill. 

What is a Thrift Store?

Thrift stores are businesses that sell items they receive as donations from the public. You can usually get things for much cheaper than what you would pay at a retail store, so you can save a lot of money by choosing to shop at thrift stores. 

Most of the items thrift stores sell are in used condition, so you might have to sacrifice quality for the price. You may be able to find brand new things, and you never know what you're going to find so that it can be like a treasure hunt.

Most thrift stores are non-profits or support a charitable cause, so you usually aren't only supporting a business when you shop thrift stores but are also helping them in whatever mission they have. Thrift stores can also be for-profit businesses, though, and in that case, you're only supporting their business when you buy something. 

How to Find Thrift Stores Near Me

To find thrift stores in your area, get on a maps application of your choice and search “thrift store.” You can click here to go to Google Maps and begin your search. The great thing about searching for thrift stores using a maps application is that you can instantly see the location of the store and the directions to get to it.

Searching for thrift stores on a maps application will pull up the local stores in your area that maps recognize as thrift stores. Some stores may not have an internet presence, so you should keep an eye out for them in your local shopping areas.

Finding stores in your local area should be pretty simple unless you live somewhere rural that doesn't have many shops to choose from. 

What are the Best Thrift Stores Near me?

If you live in a relatively busy area, you'll probably have more than a handful of stores to choose from. Not every store is created equally, so the best thing to do is visit each store in your area to decide for yourself which one you like best. Donations come in all the time, so if you go back to a store that didn't have anything good, you may find something nice on your next visit.

There are a few thrift store companies that have locations all across the country. Here are some you might find in your area:

Goodwill

Salvation Army

Savers/Value Village

The Society of St. Vincent De Paul

Goodwill Thrift Stores

You've most likely shopped at or at least heard of Goodwill. The company is one of the largest of its kind in the US, and they even have stores in 12 other countries. Goodwill was founded in 1902, and its mission is to help people acquire skills to advance their careers. They have stores and donation centers all across the country, so you will most likely have one in your area.

Salvation Army Family Stores

Salvation Army is a Christian charitable organization that supports the less fortunate by providing food, shelter, rehabilitation from addiction, and emergency relief for disaster survivors. They have thrift stores (they call them “family stores”) where they sell items that have been donated and use the funds to help those in need. They have many store locations as well as drop off centers that accept donations.

Savers/Value Village

Another thrift store chain with lots of locations throughout the country is Savers, or in some areas, their stores are called Value Village. They are a for-profit company, but partner with lots of non-profits by purchasing items from them to resell in their stores. On the company's about page, they say they help “kids, the disabled, and people suffering from diseases.” 

The Society of St. Vincent De Paul

St. Vincent De Paul thrift stores are a part of a Catholic organization whose mission is to feed, clothe, house, and heal people who don't have anywhere else to turn to. They have store locations throughout the US, and volunteers entirely run most stores. The fact that volunteers run them differentiates them from the other big thrift store chains.

Small Local Thrift Stores

Other than the big thrift store chains, there are thousands of small, independently owned stores. Sometimes, local churches will have a thrift store to fund different things, or sometimes people will open a thrift store and run it as a for-profit business. In my home town, a thrift store near me uses all of its profits to fund a shelter for women recovering from addiction. The store is run by the women recovering, and it's a pretty neat program. 

I personally like small local thrift shops myself because they usually have better deals than places like Goodwill. It's also helpful to know I'm supporting small businesses in my area that are trying to do some good in this world. 

Here's a good article for the best thrift store in every state. 

Good Items to buy at Thrift Stores

If you're looking for a good deal and don't mind potentially buying something used, thrift stores are a great place to shop. 

Here are the top items to look for while you're out thrifting:

Thrift Stores Near Me: Clothing

The number one item thrift stores receive as donations is clothing. You can buy clothing for pennies on the dollar compared to what you would pay at a retail store, and often the garment is in great shape. Just be sure to look at each piece you're interested in over thoroughly if you' red worried about any defects. If you shop thrift stores often enough, over time, you can create a wardrobe filled with high-end clothing and pay anything barely for it.

Thrift Stores Near Me: Furniture

You can find some nice furniture at thrift stores for great deals! Furniture takes up so much room in people's houses that when they're ready to get rid of something, they want it gone quick to free up space. So, they often donate furniture. A lot of times, people are getting rid of things because there is damage, so be sure to look over the furniture carefully if you don't plan to make any repairs yourself.

Thrift Stores Near Me: Books 

Another common item people donate is books. If you like reading a lot and don't mind the random variety you'll find, you might enjoy shopping for books at thrift stores. They often sell for less than a dollar, so it can be worth it to buy a book instead of borrowing from a library if you like to own the books yourself.

Thrift Stores Near Me: Vintage Items

One of my favorite reasons to shop thrift is the wide variety of unique, vintage items I come across. Thrift shops are one of the best places to find vintage decor that you can't find at retail stores. It isn't uncommon to find things you'll never see anywhere else, and that makes shopping at thrift stores fun to me.

Items to Avoid at Thrift Stores

While there are exceptional items to buy at thrift stores, there are also items you may want to avoid. 

Here are the top things you shouldn't buy at thrift stores:

Safety Equipment

Things like helmets and car seats are items to avoid buying used. Helmets can lose their integrity after use and degrade in quality. A head injury isn't worth saving a few bucks. Car seats and other child safety items shouldn't be bought used because the items may have been recalled or something might be wrong with them, which could result in your child being injured.

Stuffed Animals

You never know where an item has been when you buy it from a thrift store, and stuffed animals can carry all kinds of germs on them. You can try washing a stuffed animal in your washing machine, but this may cause damage to it.

Used Mattresses

Just like stuffed animals, mattresses can have germs and bed bugs in them. Unfortunately, there isn't a right way to tell what's on a mattress, and it's also hard to clean them. If you can't afford a new mattress, you might try looking for a new one at a discount store, or see if someone you know is getting rid of one. At least if you buy it from an individual, you can ask them about its history.

Choosing a Thrift Store to Donate to

If you have a lot of stores in your area, and you want to donate some items, it can be hard deciding which store to give to. If the stores have a website, see if they have a mission statement so you can find out what they do with the money they make. If they don't have a website, call them and ask about their business.

Spending a little time getting to know the stores in your area allows you to make the best decision for where your items should go. It's a good feeling when you drive up to the store you're going to donate to and know that the money is going to a good cause. Some of the larger thrift store companies have donations centers just for dropping off your items, so these can be convenient. 

Another thing to keep in mind when donating to items is that you can write the donations off on your taxes. You'll have to keep track of the value of the things you're donating to be able to write them off for the proper amount.

The bottom line – Shop and Donate to Thrift Shops

Whether you want to donate items or get some deals, start shopping at your local thrift stores. The smaller stores are usually just scraping by and need all the sales they can get. I often buy things and resell them for a profit on eBay, and it feels good to support small local businesses as well as charities by doing this. 

Some people wonder if it's wrong to shop at thrift stores when you aren't broke, and I think the answer to that is no. These stores depend on sales to keep the doors open and contribute to their charitable causes, so the more we buy, the more they can serve the less fortunate. 

If you're thinking about buying something new that you wouldn't mind buying used, consider looking for it at a thrift store. 

The post Thrift Stores Near Me: Find Great Deals in Your Area appeared first on Your Money Geek.

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[moderncolors]

A long, long time ago, before marriage and kids, I was quite the little belly dancer. I was 23, I worked part time, and lived with my parents. I had nothing but time to devote to learning belly dance. I danced and practiced FOUR HOURS and day. Four hours! Now I can't even bring myself to do drills for 10 minutes without freaking out that I'm not going to have enough time to finish dinner before the husband gets home from work. I kind of stumbled into learning belly dance. I wasn't really familiar with it, nor did I know there were lessons for such a thing. I knew Shakira was supposed to be a belly dancer but I never really looked into what that was. One day I bought  an East Coast Tribal instructional DVD on a whim, tried it out and I was hooked. I had to know more about this "belly dance".  I bought a 3-disc box set for beginners starring Neena and Veena and became obsessed. Learning to make my body do things I had no idea it could possibly do made me feel like a freaking goddess and watching the progress of my strength and endurance build day by day was incredibly fulfilling. I gained confidence and sculpted my body into something I had always wanted!  23 year old me after a 40-lbs weight loss thanks to diet and belly dance! One day my boyfriend (now husband) and I came across a man playing a sitar outside a coffee shop and a wonderful friendship was created. He introduced us to drumming the djembe and doumbek and a belly dancer was born! We held small drum sessions every Sunday and I danced and taught other people how to dance if they wanted to learn. It was so much fun! I still belly dance but I switched my focus to learning Russian Gypsy skirt dancing for the sake of more "authentic" renaissance faire entertainment. (I used to play Daniella Noir the Gypsy Queen at the Texarkana Renaissance Faire by the way). In my 8 years of belly dancing I've learned that the point of belly dance isn't to learn how to make your belly roll or how to shake it like Shakira, or even to look good in a two-piece sequined costume. Your goal should be to have fun gaining confidence, building strength, endurance, and mad body control. Hey look it's me as Daniella Noir the Gypsy Queen at the Texarkana Renaissance Faire. ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ BEFORE YOU GET STARTED: ► I am not a professional belly dancer. I've been a belly dance enthusiast for over 8 years and I love performing and spreading the joy of dancing. All opinions expressed are my own.  ► Belly dance is for everyone. Get the idea out of your head that belly dance is only for beautiful, long haired women with perfect figures and impossibly flat tummies. I feel that prior dance experience of any kind helps, but still anyone can learn (and perform) belly dance. Men, women, full-figured, thin, young, old, black, white, brown, and everything in between!  ► There are many different forms of belly dance but the most common forms is Raqs Sharqi, but it's usually just called 'Egyptian Style' or 'Oriental'. There's also Turkish and American Cabaret. Often times these styles get mushed into one style of dance that many just simply refer to as "classic belly dance". Unless you're a belly dance expert, you probably won't even be able to tell the difference between any of these styles so don't stress too much about that right now. Dancer wearing a Belly Stocking™ under her costume.Click photo for original source. There's also Egyptian Baladi which is often performed in a long form fitting dress with a cane. As it's a very folky and traditional dance it is performed by many male dancers too! American Tribal Style ®  (ATS®) is sweeping the nations and it's little cousin, Tribal Fusion is the latest form of dance. I feel it is very important to learn the fundamentals of belly dance by starting off with classic belly dance. After you're comfortable with your basics, then you can explore the other forms and have a blast doing it. ► You don't have to bear your tummy to dance. You can wear whatever you want and be as modest as you need to be - even if you decide to go pro and perform! ►  Many professional belly dancers are going to tell you that you need to take actual classes from a pro in order to learn it right, but what they fail to realize is: #1 Not everyone is striving to be a professional belly dancer. Some folks just want to do it for fitness and fun! #2 Not everyone has access to belly dance lessons. #3 There are dozens of belly dance instructional DVDs out there created by amazing teachers who specialize in teaching via television screen. Just like how you can teach yourself how to play the piano, knitting, or cooking, you CAN learn how belly dance at home! __________________________________________________________ Me, six months pregnant with #2 at Amanda's (above) American Tribal Style ® Workshop. OK, LET'S DANCE: ► Where to find free or cheap home lessons: Many professional belly dancers have YouTube videos that show you specific moves but some are nice enough to upload entire beginners lessons! Check out one of my favorite free online instructors HERE. Bid for super cheap DVDs on Ebay and find very affordable belly dance instructional DVDs on Amazon. Heads up: you're not going to learn everything you need to know from just one DVD. There's SO much more to belly dance than just shimmying and hip drops. I recommend  DVD series or box sets that will offer hours of instructions. When shopping for an instructional DVD make sure to buy one that is for total beginners and features a warmup and a segment on proper posture. ► Get a mirror: You'll need to be able to see yourself to see if your motions are on point and to make sure your posture is always in check. Since you probably don't have a giant dance mirror already set up in your home (lucky you if you do!) get a full length mirror and set it up beside your TV or computer or whatever you'll be using to view your lessons. You can find full length mirrors at most dollar stores for under $10. ► Attire: You don't have to wear fancy dancewear to practice. I usually wear a tank top and leggings or fitted "yoga pants". It's very important that you don't wear baggy clothes or long skirts because you'll need to be able to see the motions of your chest, hips, legs and feet in your mirror. And I know you're ready for this one! Coin scarves! Everyone loves those things! Jingly coin scarves are in no way mandatory for learning belly dance but they are wonderful for hearing and seeing the effort of your motions. Coin scarves come in many different colors and the cheapest usually come in one size often fitting up to 40"to 45" hips. You can buy coin scarves for as low as $3 on eBay! They come right from China so it might take a couple weeks for them to arrive. There are also quiet hip scarves (or belts) made with large sequins or fringe. Guys might like fringe belts a little better. Plus size hip scarves are also available to buy! A piano shawl or any fringed triangle scarf is wonderful to wear around the hips as well. No special shoes are needed, in fact you'll find most belly dancers dance completely barefoot. amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "false"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "bohomom-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = ""; amzn_assoc_asins = "B01HPZ0ERG,B003QYHZFU,B00IJ5TT28,B00AZIDQX0"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "1af7a67073cf3bbd30f0259bf460c450"; ► Continuing Practice: When you're ready to get serious about getting your moves down, you'll need to do drills regularly to build up the muscles required to perfect the motions. Since DVDs can only show you so much in an hour and thirty minutes, you'll need to practice moves, combos and steps over and over on your own. Get yourself a CD that features great classic belly dance music and practice at your own pace. Also, on the days you're feeling lazy, just listening to the music will make you want to get up and move! When the basic lessons no longer challenge you, it's time to move up to intermediate level lessons. You can find many great intermediate lessons on YouTube and DVD as well. ► Adding Props: Once you've got your basic stances, movements, travelling steps and many combos down, you should try your hand at learning how to use common props like a veil or zills (finger cymbals). These can be found at affordable prices on eBay and Amazon. Make sure to check measurements before buying your props online! I bought a veil from eBay once based on the photo and when it came in ir qA  20" x 6". That's about long enough to wear as a hair accessory. Your veil should be a rectangle of no less than 3 yards of light material and beginner zills should be about 2.5" in diameter. Jamil, male belly dancer performing with veil and cane. ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ THE DOS AND DON'TS OF LEARNING BELLY DANCE AT HOME DO practice at least twice a week. DO NOT expect to become a belly dance prodigy overnight. DO expose your belly if you want (no matter what it looks like)! DO buy a costume if you want. It will make you feel a look amazing! (Guys too!) DO NOT compare yourself to other dancers. DO NOT jump into practice without proper warm ups. DO carefully read the descriptions and reviews of any DVDs, props and costuming before you buy. DO watch belly dance performances by professional belly dancers from all styles so you can see how it's done. There are thousands of videos on YouTube and tons of performances available on DVD. DO NOT give up on an instructional DVD because it's too hard. Keep doing it until you get it. That's how you learn! DO NOT declare yourself a pro belly dancer after going through one lesson. DO consult a professional belly dancer if you feel you're ready to go pro. They can point you in the right direction of how to get started. Gorgeous SIXTY year old belly dancer, Dee Orr from Shreveport, LA at the  2016 Texarkana Renaissance Faire. Scott Johnson Photography. ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ MY TINY LIST OF RESOURCES The History of Belly Dance Plus Sized Belly Dancers Belly Dance at Any Size - blog DIY Belly Dance Everything The Official Page for American Tribal Belly Dance About Male Belly Dancers Why You Should Belly Dance During Pregnancy - by me! Talk With Other Belly Dancers Belly Dance U - blog Pin to share please :) ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲ amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "bohomom-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "manual"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_title = "My Amazon Picks"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "e3b35a275e470d201c81f2338997dc3a"; amzn_assoc_asins = "B00095VJUQ,B001W2HZ0S,B001TK80FC,B00007JZVB,B00EZ6FXHU,B000621452,B00097DNXK,B0015FJYV0";

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