Why did no one tell me that Dracula was a fucking COMEDY.
The book opens up with Jonathan experiencing a paprika overload. Dracula pretends to be the coachman and drives Jonathan around in circles until he decides he's established enough of a dramatic atmosphere. By day three in the castle Jonathan has picked up that there are no servants and Dracula is secretly doing all the chores, including driving him there. The first time Jonathan tries to shave, the count barges into the room, yeets his mirror out the window, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Jonathan also notices that he is a prisoner in the castle but doesn't dare to bring it up, which... is a mood, but also hilarious. A week into his stay he sees his employer/kidnapper crawling facedown out a wall
it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out
Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)
If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!
[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]
People sorting ao3 solely by stats and only clicking on fics with a certain amount of kudos or comments, you will not survive the winter, nor the summer, nor at all, *brings out knife,* run
I was going to add more panels of a synchronized strangle attack by team broppy, but decided that enough was enough...
Anyhow here's how I think the battle at Mount Rageous should've gone, with the lovely happy trolls using the hair as weapons of destruction </3 I know that Branch is in his healing era but I still think he would've resorted to his more violent methods somehow (this time with Poppy's full support).
Also, the reason why Viva's still using the sticky hands is because of this one hc I saw that the Putt-Putt trolls lost the ability to stretch their hair due to malnutrition :D
Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???
Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….
Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.
I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)
Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?
I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)
but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!
characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.
i feel like archie ofmd is getting an inordinate amount of dislike and resentment. (i haven't really seen it around here, but in other spaces online!) i've seen so many posts throughout s2 like, "who is she? she's so random! what is she contributing? why is she here? we know nothing about her except surface level stuff and random backstory details!" but like ... that also describes almost all the men in the crew!!! why CAN'T we have a woman pirate who's got the same kind of chaotic, unburdened-by-backstory vibe? why not, huh??
tl;dr -- i love archie and i'm so glad she joined the crew!
Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.
Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
Over 6 years ago, Technoblade and Etoiles played together on United UHC. Although they never got to meet each other on the QSMP, it's nice to see that they already had some nice banter and a fun dynamic developing during the brief time they knew each other. Here are some highlights from the video where they played together!
Subscribe to Technoblade! Technoblade's United UHC video
[ Part 1 || Part 2 || Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
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Technoblade: Bonjour, mis amis! (Hello, my friends!) Oh god, we already have a zombie on us. No! It's targeting me 'cuz I have subs!
Etoiles: Excellent teammates.
Technoblade: Do trees spawn in these worlds?
Etoiles: [Laughing at a screenshot of Technoblade saying "deforestation has gotten pretty bad"]
Technoblade: It's gotten pretty bad, man. What is this?
Etoiles: B-bonjour.
Technoblade: Stop speakin' Chinese.
Etoiles: You're the best Skywars player, dude. That's why.
Technoblade: That doesn't mean much.
Technoblade: Oh my god, I found diamonds!
Etoiles: Oh, whoa.
Technoblade: Subscribe to Technoblade! I'm suddenly a UHC god.
Etoiles: Oh, I got diamonds too! :D
Technoblade: ...Wow, way to ruin my moment. Wow. Can I just have this one moment?
Etoiles: Yeah.
Technoblade: Does everything- does everything need to be a competition? First diamonds I've ever mined in Minecraft.
Etoiles: Let's redo it, Techno. Let's say I don't have diamonds. I don't have diamonds, you have-
Teammate: I found diamonds!
Technoblade: Oh my god.
Technoblade: I have seven diamonds! And I'm not saying that to one-up you, but- I mean I am, but I mean I'm- I'm also tellin' the truth.
Teammate: Nobody knows which one of you guys is the mole.
Technoblade: Yeah, that's gonna be very awkward.
Etoiles: Maybe Technoblade is already-
Technoblade: I'm right behind you.
Etoiles: Technoblade is already saying to his friend-
Technoblade: I'm already in the Mole chat, plannin' your death.
Etoiles: Like, I'm kind of scared of Technoblade, actually.
Technoblade: I'm not even good, why would you be scared of me?
Etoiles: Because you're the King of Bedwars.
Technoblade: Alright, ok, ok, so here's how it works- I get paid per episode, right? So I'm not gonna betray you on Episode 2.
Etoiles: [Laughs]
Technoblade: Now let me enchant.
Etoiles: I'm so bad at hearing sound because when I'm hearing lava-
Technoblade: Nah, it's 'cuz the sounds are in French, isn't it?
isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine
but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day