#mistovyee

[mistovyee]

Today is the last day of the first month, it feels weird I didn't really feel anything new when the year started, I didn't try to change anything in life. No resolution, no plans or goals. It feels weird as if I have been cast out by society and they are not even aware.

It feels good, aesthetic even, to be alone in my room, writing like crazy, paint on my own, watch murder documentaries. I don't mean to romanticize isolation, but seclusion is endearing in a way I can't explain.

Perhaps someday I will become exactly like people I see in movies and social media. But today I am me and I am grateful yet I feel cursed by some invisible calamity that is approaching.

It's all in your mind they would tell me. But my mind is my reality. I would hold onto something until I am out of here but there are times when I don't want that. I just perhaps want to stay, just differently.

The only issue remains that I don't know what that difference I want is, perhaps one day me and you, we will find that different that we all long for.

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[mistovyee]

Your love was so bitter that when I tasted poision, it felt sweeter.

- to my mother.

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[mistovyee]

Darkness is alluring until you are the one it's after.

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[mistovyee]

Perhaps someone lies there, waiting for me. Perhaps he is dreaming of me like I dream of him. On lonely days perhaps he calls my name, but the echos in shadows are too far away to reach me. Perhaps he too dream of crossing the sea too see me.

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[mistovyee]

Just come with me, that's what I want. Cross the narrow sea with me, for me.

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[mistovyee]

The heart wants light, but the mind is lost in the abyss.

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[mistovyee]

'Look at that pure love blooming in their heart, nourishing their soul with fragment of heaven.'

Her heart swellled with pride at the walking memory lanes in her hands. Some colorful, some black and white.

" They look happy. " A part of her wondered if it lasts as long as poets all over the world claims.

She drowns for the most part of it, but she never let anyone else drowns in her sorrow. She makes sure her love keeps them floating over the surface. Where they could breath the heavenly fog.

Sometimes she wonders who is more unlucky, she herself or her lover?

One sees too much and the other was deprived of perception.

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[mistovyee]

People often ask how I live for so long without needing company the truth is I don't know. They call it a curse and perhaps it is.

And I have no comforting words to share, I have nothing in my defense. The truth is I will gladly lose, I won't fight, I will let them win.

Truly in the end, on the other side there is nothing you or me can hold on to. It all sleeps away in the end, like a sand from our tight fist.

Perhaps mine will be empty sooner than theirs. In all honestly it won't upset me, it might break me for a moment but I assume I will find peace before they do.

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[mistovyee]

They complain, I am always in my mind and I know evil knows their terror is the reason behind my hiding.

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[mistovyee]

What do I say to you?

You seem to have it all. I can't say I am not envious and yet still I pity you. You stand exactly where I did. You should hold me close we are stronger together but we make each other weak.

#spilled thoughts #dark academia #quoteoftheday #chaotic academia #anxienty #memes #depressionquotes #phycology #aesthetic #depressing poem #latenightwriter #mistovyee

[mistovyee]

The pain in my body, unable to make me cry, unable to make me scream in agony but enough to make me keep quiet.

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[mistovyee]

I run so fast, I forget to see the trademarks and then wonder ' why I am always lost.'

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[mistovyee]

My feet might be bound but I float in the air freely.

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[mistovyee]

My last letter to you would be lashed in honey sweet poison that my heart became in your absence. Each word would be begging you for forgiveness of crimes that were never committed. Lies and truths, I no longer ponder over such things. I had been thinking and believing something that is more of a haze than a clear path. I might regret it if I follow, and if I don't then I might die.

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[mistovyee]

Years have passed by, I look back and see two striking doors calling my name.

One leads to nostalgia and the other towards regret.

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[mistovyee]

Daggers always remind me of bleeding hearts there are no similarities but there is connection. That sharp edge belongs in something soft, easily pierced, easily killed.

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