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cupidsbower · 2 years

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Witcher s2 (spoilers)

I really enjoyed season 1 of the Witcher, but I cannot finish season 2. I’m so bored by it, even though I wanted to like it.

It’s been niggling away at the back of my mind for weeks now, and I’ve figured out what my problem with it is.

It’s mainly the way they’ve used Jaskier. I know he’s a fan fave, and I get it, although I don’t feel the same way. I think he’s a fuckboy in season 1, but that’s fine. He’s the comic relief, and allows Geralt to be the straight man, and it works and is entertaining and moves the story along.

Meanwhile, Yennifer is both an antihero and has a tragic backstory, so there’s enough drama there to drive her side of the narrative too.

In other words, the character dynamics between the three of them keep things zipping along and that makes the plot interesting.

The climax of season 1 is the three way blow up. It positions us to want to know what’s going to happen next to the relationships between Yennifer, Geralt and Jaskier -- much more so than the overt plot of oncoming war etc. Lot’s of potential there, but season 2 doesn’t pay it off.

The first thing they did in season 2 was team up Jaskier and Yennifer, which I don’t have a problem with at all. There’s lots to work with -- mutual antagonism, and common ground in being angry at Geralt, and it gives us a chance to see the aftermath of that fight through their eyes. Additionally, Yennifer now gets the benefit of being straight woman to Jaskier, which should be amusing.

And it’s certainly the most entertaining part of the episodes I managed to watch, but it bogs down pretty quickly. Yennifer is too quickly tempted with a magical fix, instead of the more interesting dilemma of having no magic and needing to develop her relationships to survive. That should have been fantastic, because with her childhood baggage it would have meant learning a whole new way to value herself, which is at the core of what led to the whole situation with Geralt in the first place. We didn’t get any of that, though.

Jaskier has the opposite problem -- his confrontation with Geralt has clearly kicked him up the arse, and it’s turned him into the Scarlet Pimpernel... but we don’t see any of that actually happen. It’s a fait accompli by the time we tune in, skipping right over the most interesting bit of his de-fuckboy-ifying journey. Why the fuck would you do that as a storyteller???? Jaskier having to digest that Geralt’s words hurt because there was a seed of truth in them would have been such a bitter pill, and his struggle to prove it wrong, all the while keeping up the facade of barding and potentially competing with fellow bards who insult his time with Geralt and Jaskier not sure whether to defend Geralt or not -- all of that is a rich vein to mine and we got none of it. What a waste.

Still, even with those choices, there was still just about enough drama left between them to keep things going.

But things really go off track with the other side of the story. Geralt is now a straight man with no comic relief, which just does not work at all. It could maybe be salvaged if he’d been given a proper internal journey, but he’s just one-note stoic. He’s got Ciri, which is an external challenge, but it doesn’t have an emotional/character hook. We never get any real sense of what he thinks or feels about suddenly being a parent or being desitny’s plaything. Without Jaskier there to narrate Geralt’s inner workings, he’s a block of wood. They really needed to team him and Ciri up with another trickster character, or else have Ciri need him more. After him basically losing his two major relationships from season 1, in season 2 he might as well never have had them. He hasn’t seemed to learn any lesson from them, or apply those lessons to Ciri. That would have been the obvious character journey for him. I enjoyed Geralt in season 1, and thought season 2 was setting him up to question some of the precepts of Witchering and the person he wanted to be. But no. :(

In short, having set up the three-way blow up as the climax for season 1, there’s too little work done to show how they have changed each other -- that should have been a major theme for the season, but despite Jaskier and Yennifer lampshading it in one conversation, it doesn’t really drive any of their actions.

Finally, the side characters are all politics and no humanity -- I don’t care about any of them or their issues. Maybe Vesimir slightly, but that’s treated more as a plot device than a character moment.

I love plot as much as the next person, but you have to have character hooks, or the plot doesn’t matter, and season 2 is all plot and too little real characterisation.

It’s frustrating. It feels like the writers didn’t really understand what made season 1 watchable. Splitting the three main characters up and putting them into a new combination is fine -- good even -- but not if you don’t use it to actively show how they are changing and growing.

What did the rest of you think? Those of you who managed to finish the season, were any of those threads from the climax of season 1 actually resolved in the last couple of episodes?

#the witcher #spoilers #season 2

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retvenkos · 3 years

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“shall i capture your heart with a song?”

A/N: lol, i only know the witcher on netflix, and what i have found out about jaskier via tumblr osmosis, so how accurate is this? i guess we’ll have to see, lol.

requested HERE WE ARE, IMAGINING WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS TO EVENTUAL MARRIAGE WITH THE ONLY AND ONLY JASKIER....

well, seeing as jaskier is of noble birth, i’m going to say that you are, too.

your families are old friends, so when you guys first meet, (i want to say you’re like 8 or 9) it’s at some celebration or another and at first you’re a little unsure if you should talk to each other or just,,,, stand there.

one of your parents absent mindedly tells you to talk to the boy, and so you have to do the awkward introductions.

“i’m (y/n) (l/n)”

“i’m julian alfred pankratz.”

“that’s unfortunate.”

“hey!”

“don’t worry. i’ll find something better to call you.”

“yeah, well... i’ll find something better to call you.”

(sorry, guys,,,,, i still can’t get over jaskier’s real name)

the two of you decide to sneak away from your parents to get some food or something, and then you eventually decide to sneak away from the party entirely

it was jaskier’s idea, really. he was trying to avoid some family or something - the family that thinks they are oh so better than you and compare achievements and what not...

the two of you are just wandering (jaskier’s sense of direction is horrible so it’s really up to you to keep everything straight) and you end up in some field or another, talking about whatever comes to mind. jaskier is telling you stories and you scoff.

“you’re like a weed, julian alfred pankratz. like a.... dandelion.”

“i am not!”

“what flower would you want to be, then?”

“something better than a dandelion!”

“like what, a buttercup?”

“yOU are.... are like....”

“like what?”

“...aconite! that’s a poison.”

“aconites are related to buttercups, dandelion. you can’t get rid of me.”

and jaskier thinks it’s wildly funny that you know horticulture, of all things. he finds it so funny, in fact, he fails to miss that you’ve coined a new nickname for him.

it seems that all the time, afterward, you run into jaskier and his family. by virtue of constantly seeing each other, the two of you end up being really good friends.

it’s a running gag that you love horticulture, and since the illustrious julian alfred pankratz uses it against you at every turn, you fluctuate between calling him “jaskier” and “dandelion”. he eventually gets used to it, but he hates it when others start to catch on.

he also comes up with ridiculous nicknames for you, but none of them quite seem to stick. he’s constantly cycling through through new ones, hoping to find the right one.

the two of you hang out a lot, but since you do a lot of reading or gardening and need jaskier to stop chatting with you for five minutes he picks up the lute and learns to play it really well.

you’re the first one who tells him his singing voice is quite beautiful.

“i’m sorry, did you just say my singing voice is ‘quite beautiful’?”

“it’s nice, okay?”

“nice?”

“if you keep this up, i’ll just have to insult you.”

“you’d never.”

“do you not remember the first time we met?”

“like it was yesterday.”

“i laid down some pretty decent insults, if i remember right.”

“i called you poison.”

“yeah, but aconites are pretty. unlike dandelions.”

and jaskier scoffs. “and buttercups?”

“they’re not bad looking.”

so we all know that jaskier supposedly gets into poetry when he’s 19 because he’s inspired by his love for the countess de stael,,, bUT,,,, consider this instead:

he actually gets into poetry for you.

jaskier has had a few loves at this point, and with each one, he’s a nervous wreck. you always help him by curating the most beautiful bouquets (all of which come from your amazing, thriving garden) and you are always there to help him with his flirting (which needs serious help,,,, i’m not even sure you’re cut out for the job)

you guys have probably even kissed before - both of you were regrettably drunk (don’t tell your parents) and jaskier said he desperately needed ‘the practice’. plus, he wanted to know!!!! was he a good kisser or not? no one else would rate him on a scale from 1-10 with brutal but accurate honesty! neither of you fully remember what exactly happened, come morning, but you remember the lead up to the moment and jaskier remembers the thoughts running through his head afterward... both of you agree not to speak of it.

anyway, when jaskier starts to realize that he has these awkward feelings that seem suspiciously illicit, he knows he has to get them out, somehow, but you are the only one who would listen to his complaints, and he very well can’t tell you.

so he decides he has to write them down.

but clearly they can’t be literal, lest someone stumble upon them,,,,, so he has to learn the secret art of poetry.

you, of course, notice how oddly quiet hanging out with jaskier has become, and his odd questions on flower symbolism, and it doesn’t take you long until you realize that, of all things, jaskier has turned to poetry.

“you can’t make fun of me for liking horticulture, anymore, dandelion. you’re a p o e t .”

“at least i’m a good one.”

and you flick his forehead

“what will your stage name be? surely julian alfred pankratz won’t work.”

“which one should it be? jaskier or dandelion?”

and you laugh, the sound like a summer breeze.

“i knew you’d come to appreciate my nicknames, eventually.”

jaskier frequently “serenades” you, under the guise that he’s practicing, of course, but it’s also his not so subtle way of seeing if you like his poetry and his songs - they are for you, after all.

“you’ll certainly capture hearts with that one.”

“did i capture yours?”

and you, feeling very flustered, especially seeing as you’ve had feelings for jaskier for a while now, can only let out a guttural sort of scoff.

“of course,” and you try to say it over the top and jokingly, but you can feel your face heating up.

and jaskier winks. you huff and turn back to your books.

oh, yikes, i didn’t realize this was getting a little long,,,, let’s speed things up.

everyone knows that you and jaskier are end game. your families think it’s vvv sweet, and everyone that either you or jaskier attempt to woo know it’s only going to be a passing fancy because,,,, have you seen the way you look at each other? like you hang the moon and the stars?

but of course, both of you are dramatic as hell, so you frequently have conversations like:

“we’re piss poor in love, aren’t we?”

“i guess the world just doesn’t understand our genius.”

“terrible that i have to share this lonely cleverness with the likes of you.”

“absolutely devastating.”

and you just sit there for a while, staring at the ceiling.

maybe you guys do some traveling together for a while, but you eventually find a place to put down roots (lol, horticulture jokes). maybe you run an apothecary! that would be precious.

either way, jaskier is a bard so when he isn’t traveling around, he’s staying with you.

a frequent request of yours goes something like this:

“dandelion, play me a song.”

“what kind?”

“a love song.”

and he does, and afterward, he sits down across from you and winks.

“did i capture your heart with that one?”

and some nights you’re a little too tired to make a show of it and some of that blissful candor slips out and slaps jaskier across the face when you smile and say, “yes.”

if you haven’t noticed, the two of you hella dance around your feelings. it’s insane, because catchphrase is: “anything for you” meanwhile you are the most soft™ for him and yet you don’t seem to clue in.

100%, you are going to have to be the one that expresses your love first, because jaskier is the definition of suffering in silence

but what’s also really funny is you both probably try to keep it hidden just how long you have loved each other for, and yet you are both nosy as hell and want to know how long this has been going on, so it leads to really funny conversations where you are both trying to dodge giving a proper timeline, but are drying to coax one out of the other.

ohmygod, i forgot to do marriage headcanons

alright, lightning round: firstly, i don’t think it takes you guys long to get married - you have known each other for so long, and you already act like a married couple, might as well make it official

jaskier refuses to let anyone else sing at his wedding, but you eventually coax him into it because how else are you going to dance with him?

let jaskier invite all of his witcher friends. the divide between your wealthy families and the witchers would be funny as hell. like inlaws that don’t get along but wORSE.

some quick marriage thoughts:

jaskier has definitely learned the art of flowers, thanks to you, so (1) he leaves you flowers everywhere, and (2) both of you get to garden with each other all the time.

sleep and jaskier don’t mix - no matter what time of the night, you can wake up and he’s up and about, doing something or another. maybe he’s writing a song, maybe he’s eating, maybe he’s arguing with yennefer (she often visits, just to antagonize jaskier. you guys are great friends) in the livingroom and trying to keep his voice down

similar with nicknames, jaskier is constantly using pet names, trying to decide on which one is best. it doesn’t really work out, but maybe the most common one is he’ll call you his muse.

and it only sounds cheesy 20% of the time

you guys get to go to parties together! that’s fun - you like dressing up and sneaking away half way through because you’re bored. you guys steal food and hide out until they realize the bard is missing and drag him back.

so we all know jaskier is big on compliments, and it only gets worse when the two of you are together. it’s like,,,, yes. now i can shower you with love and affection at all hours of the day, and it’s okay! he still does his poorly timed winks but he insists they’re charming!

you begrudgingly agree

consider for a moment: going to get breakfast with this man. first of all, breakfast is probably his favorite meal, and he’s always adamant you get a good one (since being with geralt means no breakfast at all). jaskier talks like you haven’t seen him in years, despite living together, and he’s very big on holding your hand or bopping you on the nose. plus, he smiles.

oh! and his singing is 100% contagious, so it doesn’t take long before you are singing around the house, and jaskier is just stunned at you,,,, you find him staring and roll your eyes at his ridiculousness, but this man is in love!!!! let him be in love!!!!

and you also talk to your plants, so you know jaskier picks that up, to. you’re a very vocal couple, lol.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

-- taglist: @lenalxvegood, @cooloaflandhero, @swanimagines, @multifandomfix // message me if you want to be added!

#jaskier #jaskier x reader #jaskier headcanons #jaskier witcher #jaskier x you #jaskier imagine #reader insert #gender neutral reader #tw marriage #fluff #the witcher

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gayregis · 4 years

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do you think the netflix series will stick to the books messages of anti war, family and friemdships? i hope not because those messages are what makes me like the books so much, also i hope the netflix fandom don't memefy the stories like they did with renfri, her story is supposed to be tragic and show how revenge corrupts people but the fandom just treats it like "uwu bisexual feral sword woman wants to kill big baddie wizard hehe"

correction: it's supposed to be “i hope so,” not “i hope not,” lol i can't spell

sadly, i don’t think that the netflix adaptation will stick to the themes of the books at all and here’s why.

first reason why: ciri

in the first season, they took out ciri and geralt meeting in brokilon. that is just the most unforgivable action they could have taken. that scene is literally what defines the entire series being about ciri, the child of destiny, geralt’s daughter who is the whole point of everything. they gave her more screentime, but less significance. she also is played by 18 yo freya allen who is acting as a 14 yo ciri, which blurs how she is supposed to symbolize childhood. instead, they went for a spunky sort of young teenage girl, which ciri becomes later (in the care of yennefer and during around the time of thanedd), but it is significant that she was a CHILD when cintra fell to nilfgaard, because it traumatized her for life and is the point of no return for her. because geralt thought that by fathering her, he would introduce her to death, but instead, the opposite occured - by deferring her, she was introduced to death. ciri loses her innocence, she loses the abilty to be a child. now she will continue to fixate on revenge for the entire saga, until she loses everything, absolutely everything. the witcher is a tragic story but it only manages to have this story because it is dominated by this theme of a lost childhood, surrounded by themes of family, vulnerability, revenge, destruction, violence...

in the netflix series, we receive approximately none of this. ciri’s trauma is more treated as a “wake up call” because she’s such a “privileged princess” who doesn’t know about or care that her beloved grandmamma committed mass genocide (what???). this is treated like something ciri needs to overcome, thus it is actually a good thing that she is seeing people being murdered left and right in the name of imperialist conquest!

second reason why: geralt

geralt in the books is a kind person. he is a pacifist. his profession is to kill, he ocassionally punches people so hard they die (he did this to save his best friend from being sliced open), and other acts of badassery, but inside, he does not want to kill and is opposed to it. this is the man that refused to slay a giant bug-like monster because he didn’t feel it was necessary (the witcher equivalent of trapping a house spider in a glass and slipping a piece of paper under it, then releasing it outside, instead of squashing it with your sandal). this is the man that felt himself unworthy to be yennefer’s lover, because he was afraid he couldn’t feel love in the same capacity she could. this is the man who pushed his best friend away on a dangerous quest because he was terrified that he’d be harmed and he’d suffer, and it would be his fault. and as mentioned, this is the man that deferred his daughter, his daughter who he genuinely loved and wanted to protect no matter what, his daughter who he legitimately raised a conflict with the queen of brokilon over, because he was terrified that he would bring violence and death into her life. this geralt is an introspective, pragmatic man. he cares deeply about the welfare of others, and the only way he can even do his job is to justify it though morality and codes of conduct which he makes up himself because he is so obsessed with not harming the innocent. he spares and befriends many “monsters” (post-conjunction creatures) and only slays the ones that genuinely pose a threat to the innocent and are usually are not creatures capable of rational thought. in the first book in the voice of reason 5, geralt literally states that he won’t kill innocent creatures.

and he continues this philosophy throughout:

he doesn’t kill dragons:

he advocates for dudu’s innocence:

he only was wary of regis because he was mistaken and thought he was going to harm dandelion in this moment:

in the netflix adaptation of the witcher, what is the first thing that we see him do? kill a monster brutally and without remorse. he doesn’t talk about his motivations behind it or why he felt justified to kill it, or why the monster was a danger in the first place. he just kills it and this violence defines him. later in the show, we see him antagonize and mock torque (when in the books he asked dandelion NOT to do just that) and he also punches dandelion right in the stomach. even when geralt was the most mad at dandelion in the books, he never did physical harm to him. ever.

the netflix show is representating a very different man. some have argued that they will try to develop him later on, but that is too late. geralt in the books was a good person from the very beginning for a reason.

third reason why: cahir.

the anti-war and anti-imperialist themes of the books hinge upon the concept of universal humanity and understanding that violence has its own motivations and reasons. cahir i think is a very good example of how the witcher saga comments on the effects of nationalist sentiment / patriotism.

cahir in the books is a teenager or very young adult during the massacre of cintra (since he was no older than 25 in baptism of fire). even though he was also young and doing this only because it what was expected of him and he was intending to bring honor to his family, that does not change the effect that he has on ciri as a child. he enters her nightmares as an exaggerated version of what he was, even though he was scared, too. this demonstrates how impressionable youth are misguided into the military and people are made unaware of just how much violence they ensue.

cahir is built up as this nightmarish figure, this horrifying man that ciri wants revenge upon more than anything else, and THEN he is revealed to also be a terrified youth. underneath the helmet, there was a terrified young man. that is an incredibly powerful image and metaphor.

and what did the witcher netflix do? ... well...

cahir shows his face, he doesn’t have the symbolism of his imposing helmet anymore. he’s much older, eamon farren is 35 years old, 15 older than cahir canonically is, so he’s not someone who has had nationalist ideals imposed upon him unfairly by his parents and society, but rather a full adult who is established and making his own decisions fully in his own control. in the books, he stops pursuing ciri once she escapes, because he has a mental breakdown from the stress of his society and family’s expectations of success, and fear of harsh punishment he will receive. he goes to prison in the imperial capital for a year for failing. in the netflix series, he stops at nothing to get ciri, chasing her down constantly and enlisting the help of sorcerers, a doppler... it’s a whole evil entourage. cahir is not the vulnerable and noble-at-heart young man that he was in the books.

in the end, these are things that are too late to change now. these things can’t be developed upon to “fix” them. ciri cannot suddenly receive her character establishment as a child. geralt cannot suddenly become a caring father who has cared about protecting ciri since day one. cahir cannot suddenly become a young man influenced by his jingoistic society who was only in full plate armor because his parents told him to. these things are so essential to their characters that they are begun to be established immediately.

and yeah everything’s going to get memed on just like they did with renfri. no one discusses the elves’ situation in dol blathanna seriously, they just like laughing at how jaskier called them “pointy.” ciri isn’t discussed at all by the fandom except for being a token baby character. it’s dark times

#ask #anon #the witcher #the witcher netflix #geralt #ciri #cahir

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seanfalco · 4 years

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So I had a thought for another ValdoxReader, if you want. Your repeat-Reader is a minor noble. You know who else comes from nobility? Jask. So maybe he and the reader are old friends (or even formerly arranged betrothed?) and she and Valdo run into him on the road. A jealous snark off ensues and/or Something happens and our beautiful bards have to set aside their differences for the reader's sake?

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Valdo Marx x Reader / Former lover!Jaskier x Reader Word Count: 2.5 k Rating: T Tag List: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats @nevadawolfe @magic-multicolored-miracle @wayward-dream a/n: Sorry I’ve been away for a bit, been overwhelmed with some stuff and working on some original fiction. :3 This takes place after ‘A Matter of Honor’ & I got a little carried away trying to push through this writer’s block, oops. I hope you enjoy it though. <3

Another day, another courtly party.

Upon arriving you were met with talk of another world renowned bard slated to perform that evening, much to your paramour’s chagrin and you wondered just who the mysterious performer might be.

Valdo’s sharp green eyes surreptitiously scanned each room you entered, no doubt searching for his competition, though he would never admit that he actually saw anyone as such, and you fought back a grin; squeezing his arm reassuringly. He turned to you and smiled, his expression softening, and that was when you saw him across the room, recognition flashing across your visage before you could stop it.

Valdo noticed instantly, his gaze seeking out what had caused your reaction, his warm smile twisting to a disdainful sneer.

“Ah, Jaskier,” he hissed. “So that is the other entertainment they invited. I would have thought the Noble host had better taste than that talentless wastrel who spends his time pandering to the masses.”

Arching an eyebrow at the venom dripping from Valdo’s words you glanced past him at the other bard -- the man you once knew as Julian.

“So… you know him, do you?” you asked.

“Unfortunately,” Valdo answered coolly, raising his chin to peer haughtily across the room at his rival. “From my days at Oxenfurt Academy,” he explained and you wondered how Jaskier hadn’t noticed the icy glare currently piercing his shoulder blades -- surely the hostility in your lover’s gaze would itch.

It was obvious Valdo despised Jaskier enough as it was, you could see no reason why you should disclose your own history with Julian Pankratz as well. For that would surely only fan the flames and that was not a fire you wanted to fight this evening. All you had to do was keep the two bards apart.

Simple enough, in theory.

Jaskier performed first, which seemed to mollify Valdo slightly. You heard him mutter something about him ‘getting the audience warmed up for him’ and you shook your head ruefully.

Careful to keep your expression neutral during Jaskier’s performance, you slipped your hand in Valdo’s, twining your fingers with his and pulling him off to the side for a few stolen kisses, hoping the distraction might help lighten his sour mood -- all the while wondering if omission of the truth was the same as a lie or not.

When it came time for Valdo to take the floor he brushed shoulders with Jaskier, his icy sneer a match for the other bard’s fierce glower.

Wonderful, you thought with a sigh; obviously Valdo’s disdain for Jaskier was mutual and all the more reason to keep the two apart.

Settling in to watch, your eyes followed Jaskier as he left the room and a small sigh of relief passed through your lips. Soon the large hall was filled with people dancing -- some gracefully and others rather drunkenly, for the host was far from stingy with the wine and you rose from your spot at the table to find more of said wine to refill your cup and possibly peruse the sumptuous spread of deserts.

Nearly being trampled by a spirited couple twirling across the floor, you stumbled backwards into a pair of waiting arms, catching you before you could fall. Your savior set you upright and you straightened your skirts as you distractedly thanked him, finally raising your face, your voice failing as you found yourself met by a pair of clear blue eyes you hadn’t looked into in years.

“Julian!” you exclaimed once your voice had returned and he flashed you a grin, the cheeky one you remembered all too well, which was usually accompanied by trouble.

“[Y/N], it really is you,” he replied, looking over you as if he still couldn’t quite believe it. “I caught sight of you earlier, but thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. How are you?” he asked. “You look… stunning.”

Smiling politely you waved away his compliment. “You look good yourself,” you replied, taking note of his thread of gold embroidered doublet, wondering who his tailor was and imagining Valdo in something similar.

“I’m well,” you continued, refocusing your attention on Jaskier, a genuine smile slipping through. “I’ve been traveling lately, seeing the world.”

“Oh?” he asked, surprise flitting across his boyish features. “On your own?”

“No, I have someone I’m traveling with,” you answered, somewhat enigmatically as you poured yourself a drink, your eyes searching for Valdo amidst the crowd. Luckily he was still preoccupied and hadn’t seemed to notice you speaking with his rival.

“Well, where is he? Or she? I’d love to meet the lucky person who’s managed to pull you out into the world.” Jaskier asked, glancing around as if expecting your beau to appear at your side any moment.

Choking on your wine only bought you a handful of seconds to think as you swallowed, a lame excuse springing to your lips. “Ah, he’s… around here somewhere. Perhaps I’ll introduce you later.”

Jaskier appeared a trifle disappointed, but he soon perked up again as he asked if you happened to catch any of his performance. As you caught up, you found it rather ironic that you’d nearly married a man who had run off to become a bard, only to end up in love with another bard. How different would your life have been, you wondered, if Julian hadn’t broken off your arranged betrothal to seek his adventure?

“Would you like to dance?”

“What?” Jaskier’s question pulled you out of your thoughts and you gaped at him, mouth moving soundlessly for a moment. “Oh, I dunno, uh, maybe later,” you floundered, certain that Valdo would see if you took the floor with Jaskier, even for one song.

“What, are you worried your lover will get jealous?” Jaskier asked with a laugh, flashing that rakish grin as he spread his hands.

Before you could answer, you felt an arm wrap around your waist and you jerked, glancing over to find Valdo at your side. “Jealous? Of you Pankratz? I think not.”

Jaskier’s surprised face might have been comical in any other situation but as he stared wide eyed and gaping between you and Valdo you chewed your lip.

“Am I missing something?” he asked incredulously. “[Y/N], this must be a joke, because you can’t seriously be with-with him. With Valdo Marx,” he nearly spat the name, while Valdo glared back, equally disgusted.

“I assure you, it is most certainly not a joke,” Valdo shot back, bristling. “The only joke I see here is you.”

Jaskier spluttered angrily as Valdo ignored him and turned back to you.

“[Y/N], please tell me you don’t truly know this poor excuse of a bard? ...Because it seems as if you two are already acquainted.”

“I, uh…” you hesitated, not quite meeting his eyes which flashed momentarily with betrayal. “Yes, Valdo,” you admitted, though quick to assure him it wasn’t what it looked like -- as if you were going behind his back. “I know Julian from a long time ago. We were friends as children, but I haven’t seen him for years. How was I to know that you two were… rivals?” you asked, a frustrated snap to your voice.

“Rivals? More like bitter enemies,” Jaskier grumbled under his breath, though you ignored it, keeping your eyes trained on Valdo’s.

“You… may have a point. I don’t recall ever mentioning him, nor my distaste for the drivel he peddles as music before tonight.”

“Hold on a moment,” Jaskier butted in, his eyes narrowing with mischief. “We were more than just friends, I’ll have you know. [Y/N] was my first kiss and we were very nearly married.”

“Julian!” you hissed warningly, no trace of amusement in your tone.

Valdo’s eyes hardened as his lips went taut; his arm around your waist tightening perceptively. “Not exactly something to boast of, Pankratz, as I’m assuming you were the one who broke it off, no doubt to chase your dreams of fame,” he sneered. “You are a greater fool than I thought, if you let [Y/N] go so easily.”

“Oh my Gods,” you groaned, completely fed up with the pair of them and their bickering. “You two are acting like children. Valdo,” you exclaimed, turning to the man at your side. “I have no feeling for Julian other than friendship, and Julian,” you said, next directing your attention to the other bard. “Stop antagonizing Valdo just to make him jealous! It is cruel and beneath you. I understand neither of you care much for each other and that’s fine, but in my presence at least all I ask is you be civil, like adults, for my sake.”

Giving both of them one last stern glare you slipped out of Valdo’s arm and stalked out of the hall, leaving them both quite speechless and thoroughly chastened. Without a word Valdo took off after you. Prideful as he oft was, he was loath to admit you had a point, though he knew it was true, and his pride was certainly not near as important as you were.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Jaskier cried, scrambling to catch up to Valdo, falling into step with him with a frown. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To find [Y/N] and apologize to her,” Valdo explained shortly, purposefully quickening his stride so Jaskier would have to as well if he wanted to keep up.

Jaskier’s frown deepened as he noticed, breathing beginning to labour as he worked to keep pace. “Well, I’m coming too!” he announced. “Don’t think I’m going to let you look like the mature one here,” he puffed, swinging his arms forcefully.

Valdo glanced over at him and scoffed. “Oh please, Pankratz, you will never be mature, no matter how much you age.”

“You take that back!” Jaskier gasped, blue eyes widening at the insult.

“I will not,” Valdo replied sharply.

“You--! You… rapscallion!” Jaskier cried, grasping for a suitable retort, thoroughly scandalized.

Valdo’s lip curled with amusement as he continued to look for [Y/N].

Up ahead a commotion shook the small gathered crowd, pulling Jaskier and Valdo up short. Glancing at each other curiously they proceeded to push to the front.

“What’s going on?” Jaskier asked at the same time Valdo demanded, “What’s happened?”

“Oh! Valdo Marx…” The chief servant withered visibly when he turned to see who had arrived. “I’m afraid there’s been a-an accident.” The man blanched further under Valdo’s level gaze and Jaskier hovered next to him anxiously.

“What do you mean? What sort of accident?”

“A d-disgruntled member of the kitchen staff came out wielding a large knife, raving mad and-and abducted one of the guests.”

“Which guest?” Jaskier exclaimed sharply, though he and Valdo could already guess.

“Why… the young lady that accompanied you, Valdo Marx,” the man’s voice wavered as a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. “We’ve alerted the guards, but --”

“Which way did he take her?” Valdo demanded, cutting the steward off.

“Uhh, that way,” he answered, pointing down the hall. “Deeper into the estate, but -- wait, it’s dangerous!” the man called as Valdo already turned in the direction indicated, hurrying down the hall, Jaskier right at his heels.

“Are we really doing this?” Jaskier panted, jogging now to keep up.

“I am, Pankratz,” Valdo replied, barely seeming to break a sweat. “I could care less if you tag along or not.”

“Oh please! Just admit you might need my help!”

Before Valdo could answer, the telltale sound of a struggle could be heard from the balcony up ahead and he shushed the other bard, pulling him off to the side. The two crouched down, moving closer so they could get a clear view of the madman, brandishing a long dagger and pulling [Y/N] along behind him.

“Get your hands off me!” you cried, struggling in the servant’s grip. “What do you think this is going to accomplish?”

“Shut up wench!” the man hissed, pressing the blade closer to your skin as you drew back. “I just want what’s owed me. And the ransom I’ll get for your pretty head will do just the trick. If you cooperate I won’t have to hurt you.”

“So what’s the plan?” Jaskier whispered, blue eyes flicking back and forth between [Y/N] and Valdo.

“You really want to help, Pankratz?” Valdo asked, his sharp green eyes never straying from the knife at his beloved’s throat.

“I do! I care about her too!”

Valdo thought for a moment, stroking his goatee thoughtfully. “Good, then a distraction will do nicely, I think.”

Jaskier nodded, thinking quickly. “That, I can do. Now, watch a professional at work, Marx.”

Standing and straightening his blue doublet Jaskier stepped out into the hall with a flourish, his hands spread, and an ingratiating smile on his face.

“You there, don’t come any closer!” The servant cried as soon as he spotted the bard, holding the dagger out toward Jaskier.

“Oh my, there you are,” he stalled, flashing a small smile for you. “I’ve er, come at the bequest of the uh, host to find out what it is you are after and how we might get [Y/N] back safely.”

The dagger lowered slightly as the servant obviously believed him. As Jaskier kept the man talking, you swallowed, catching movement off to your left and quickly averting your eyes, lest you alert your kidnapper. Without warning you felt Valdo slip around behind you, the glint of steel visible in his hand before the arm around your waist went slack and the dagger clattered to the ground.

Pulling you away and into his arms, you buried your face against Valdo’s chest as several guards rushed in and hauled the servant to his feet as he clutched at his side, blood running through his fingers.

Taking a shaky breath you glanced over at Jaskier who slowly approached before tilting your face up to Valdo’s.

“Are you alright, my darling? You’re not hurt in any way?”

“I’m alright now, thanks to you two,” you murmured, tracing Valdo’s jaw before reaching out to take Jaskier’s hand and squeeze it. “You know, I’m sure you’ll hate to hear this, but you two make a pretty good team. Perhaps you might translate that to your music?”

Both men recoiled at your words, eyeing each other with disgust.

“Songbird, are you quite certain you haven’t retained some sort of head injury?” Valdo asked wryly and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“No, I’m serious. You should think about it.”

“I think this may be the one and only time I agree with Valdo Marx, [Y/N]. I don’t see that happening any time soon,” Jaskier exclaimed, propping his hands on his hips, though he couldn’t quite keep the grin from his face. “I think the only time we’ll put aside our differences will be the next time you get kidnapped.”

“There will be no next time!” Valdo cried, frowning disdainfully at Jaskier, his arms tightening protectively around you.

#valdo x reader #valdo marx x reader #platonic!jaskier x reader #x reader #reader insert #the witcher fic #valdo marx imagines #reader request #magic multicolored miracle #my writing

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lover-de-lettenhove · 5 years

Text

@akindlymonster; continued from here

Dandelion scrunched his nose at the blood-drinking; he’ll stick to wine, thanks. The warning may have fallen on drunken ears, but they weren’t deaf. That he felt the need to warn him at all made his hackles rise, but the only indication of such was a frown.

“I’ll be honest, it’s very easy to forget that you and the other vampires I’ve met are exactly that. I’m still unsure of how to actually process the information. There are the vampires that look and act and think like humans, but then there are the ones that like tearing humans apart and playing in their entrails.” That was his least favorite fact about ekimmara that he’d wished he’d never learned. “I suppose caution is in my best interest if I don’t want to become someone’s feast. Did you know that there was a vampire in Oxenfurt who’d taken to drinking the blood of drunks and pilfering their shiny objects? Shit, I’d be a feast to someone like that!”

Maybe he should lay off the wine, but his cup was already empty again after having indulged in, well, more than Regis had for certain. For once, he didn’t comment on the more sexual aspects of their conversation, but only because that grin almost made him flush more than the wine had, and he wasn’t about to tease a vampire who hadn’t been with another man in a baffling two hundred years. Were he in that position, he’d probably have gone... batty. Dandelion had to purse his lips to keep from snorting at his own awful pun, but managed to maintain composure again when Dettlaff became the subject.

“I didn’t antagonize him, per se. My upsetting him had been entirely unintentional, and I had done what I could to remedy the issue. I’d be lying if I said I.. well, that I didn’t pity him.” Dettlaff’s tale was a tragic one indeed, and being the sucker that he was for a romantic tragedy, he couldn’t help but feel for the man. “I mean, after learning from him what had happened, I daresay I was nearly moved to tears.” He was exaggerating a bit, but he was most definitely moved. “I’ve been trying to refrain from agitating him further - I even promised I’d stop lying in front of him, and you know I lie about as often as I breathe.”

He couldn’t help a derisive snort.

“I mean, I’ve succeeded thus far surprisingly, but.. I may or may not be all too good at pushing his buttons nonetheless. Case in point, my less-than-wholesome works.” All of his works were less than wholesome, but it further proved his point. “I’d like to befriend him, but I might be a touch too abrasive for him. I’ve found that the most surefire way to earn his ire a majority of the time is by opening my mouth. It’s disheartening that a man as dashing as he should be so dour. I haven’t a doubt in my mind that if he’d only open up just the slightest, he’d have people fawning over him. But then, I don’t blame him for his lack of enthusiasm in regards to mortals.”

Now, if Regis truly thought Dandelion was going to ignore his quiet mumbling into his glass, he was in for a rough time. It was those types of things that the bard thrived on, but he wasn’t going to let himself get excited over his friend’s misery. No, if anything, he was empathetic.

“Regis.. You seriously thought we wouldn’t miss you? Your mandrake brew, your vast knowledge, your more than interesting conversation - hell, I know for a fact that I even missed your tedious rambling. I.. might not have been entirely warm after learning of your true nature, but in light of everything you’ve done for Ciri and Geralt, I have to say I admire you. You’re invaluable as a comrade and as a friend, and it makes me feel rotten that I’d once been so quick to judge you. As for asking for our help,” Dandelion rolled his eyes, “come on, how many times have I gotten myself ass-deep into trouble only to have Geralt swoop in and save the day? And if you ever tell anyone that I said that, I will deny it until I am devoid of breath. I might even have to mend that biography I’d written for you to include your proclivity for succubi.“ He’d never actually dare, but he’d been meaning to amend it anyway seeing as Regis was not actually dead.

“Anyway, the point I’m trying to get across is that we’re here for you. Geralt might be a witcher and I might have a penchant for trying to get under skirts and inside beer bottles, but we’re here whether you actually need us or not. I know I’ve said as much before, but when I say The Chameleon is open to you, I mean it. I’m not sure if you plan on keeping up with the cliche by staying in crypts, but if you ever decide that a room in a tavern and my company is better than that of a dusty old corpse, you know where to find me.”

The friendly grin was entirely genuine, even when he was fairly intoxicated. Speaking of intoxication, it’d been a hot minute since he’d had another glass, so he reached over to pour himself another.

#ic #omfg regis no stop #not allowed to be sad #dandelion wont allow it #sorry had to edit a bit #got too excited and submitted before i was done #akindlymonster

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gayregis · 4 years

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you might've already answered this but i adore all your takes on the show SO what did you think abt twn having the timeline all out of order? i didn't mind (even tho i read the books after) but i know it bothered a lot of people. thanks !

honestly, this is something that bothers me the most. it is on-par with the sincerely bad mischaracterizations of all of the characters and removal of the significant messages and themes of the short stories.

i feel that it’s insanely confusing for the majority of people when watching to have timeskips that are many many years apart without as much as a text card to say (20 years later). it’s good that you didn’t mind, but yeah i have heard from basically everyone, even people who loved the show, who say that the timeskips were the one thing that super confused them.

now, i watched the show having had read the books and legitimately dissecting any little thing as i watched. i went at this show with fucking tweezers and a scapel. i don’t get to say that i was confused by the timeskips, because during every single shot and scene, i was literally taking notes in a text document as to where the narrative was going and which scene was which from the books, where they were on the continent, what short story they were doing... although i was confused when things diverged so wholly from canon during the brokilon arc, i don’t get to say i was confused by the timeskip between the events of the lesser evil and the massacre of cintra, because i knew these stories already.

but as a viewer, i was confused as to why they felt that was necessary. there was no reason to add in timeskips. there was no great parallel being made. they didn’t connect the two stories at all besides renfri making a side comment about how she was jealous of calanthe, then-princess. there was no thematic parallel. it felt like a gimmick to keep people from being bored with the first story (which it was, because there was a lack of interesting dialogue and i got very bored with it).

and it gets worse when i try to think of what it would have been like if i had NO prior knowledge of the witcher, or even just knowledge from the witcher 3. i... would have had no idea where cintra geographically is. i wouldn’t know who vesemir is when geralt mentions him. i wouldn’t have the faintest fucking clue as to why the story is switching between this man and this girl, and i’d be trying to establish their connection with no luck. because there’s literally nothing by this point which tells you that ciri is his daughter.

i think it’s a fucking stupid gimmick that lauren hissrich did because she wanted to gain more viewers by being “progressive” and including female characters yennefer and ciri earlier in the story even when it makes everything all the more confusing to have them there. i think it was a really stupid move that isn’t justifiable in any way because it’s sincerely disorienting to the viewer and makes everything make no sense. in the books, the stories are laid out in a certain order with a certain framing story for a reason. ciri appears as a character when she does for a reason.

geralt finding ciri in brokilon was... such an incredibly significant moment and the fact that they didn’t introduce ciri in this way was really heartbreaking and sore to me. when geralt realizes that ciri is not just some random girl, but his daughter, that she is his child and she is not his destiny but something more... as ciri says to yennefer in blood of elves, you should have seen the look on his face. i wanted to see the look on new fans’ faces, on even my own face because it’s worth it to see a story retold. it was meant to be a surprise... she is the surprise child, as geralt says, she’s the biggest surprise he’s ever met. and the fact that geralt has to part with her, that he HAS to because otherwise he would bring danger to her, is incredibly painful. that was ciri’s introduction for a reason. the saga begins to follow her from that point on, that distinguishable point in brokilon. after this, the next story is something more, which revolves around many significant people in geralt’s life, but is focused on his desire to become ciri’s father for real. this point is very important because it’s a turning point for the series. it stops being about geralt, and begins to be about ciri.

similarly, yennefer is introduced as she is for a reason. in the last wish, she is not meant to be immediately likable. she antagonizes geralt and is actually kind of the antagonist of the story for a good part of it. the netflix series introduces her with her sad backstory, making the first emotion you feel towards her be pity and outrage at her treatment. yennefer in the book series was slowly developed, yennefer in the book series is carmelized onions. at first she is like raw onions, when you chop a raw onion your eyes might water, and raw onion is very strong and overwhelming taste that a majority of people find unpleasant (think of biting into a whole onion). but over time, when you put these chopped onions into the pan with olive oil and salt, they begin to get softer, sweeter. even when they’re not entirely browned yet, they’re palatable and delicious. yennefer in the bounds of reason shows sincere depth as she defies her trope and is sincerely emotionally hurt by geralt for leaving her without a word. she gets even more developed in a shard of ice, and her relationship with geralt is developed even when she is not present in a little sacrifice, and by the end of the sword of destiny, it makes sense as to why they are together as a couple. then in blood of elves as she becomes a mother to ciri and in time of contempt, baptism of fire, tower of the swallow, and lady of the lake, she is such an incredibly selfless and caring mother and you learn her backstory that she develops this incredible depth that you would never have thought she had the potential for in the last wish.

the timeskips are really detrimental to not only yennefer and ciri’s characters, but also geralt and dandelion’s. geralt is introduced in the specific order of stories for a reason. in the witcher, we learn what a witcher is. we learn what he was created to do, but also how he as an individual is incredibly different from many of the rest of his guild and how he has this inner depth and humanity that he has to keep hidden. i’ll admit that a grain of truth is skippable, but i appreciate how it also shows that geralt will go out of his way to help others even when there is no contract and no reward involved. in the lesser evil, we learn why he has committed himself to neutrality and how society views him as a witcher. this is very significant for how he interacts with others, especially ciri, as he does not want to pass this legacy down to her. in a question of price, we see him choosing the route of pacifism yet again and also are introduced to the concept of destiny linking him with ciri. then in the voice of reason 5 / the edge of the world, we learn more about his humanity as his relationship with dandelion is explored and we get to see geralt in a closer, more intimiate friendship light, not on the job or embroiled in a conflict. we also see him acting pacifist again and learn of his opinions on otherness, the otherness that he himself is classified as. in the last wish, we learn how human he really is, we see his real devotion to dandelion and then his choice to assist yennefer and his vulnerability with yennefer. of course it’s not meant to end there because it has yet to take down the trope of a happy ending that it ended with, but you can see geralt’s linear character progression in just this first collection of short stories. you understand him as a character and what his motivations and relationships to others are.

tl;dr: the timeskips in twn do more damage than everyone thinks; they’re not just annoying and super confusing for new fans, but they are a major enabler of poor character development and bastardization of the books they were meant to be an “adaptation” of

#the witcher netflix #thank u for this ask bc i never talked abt this before i think #geralt #ciri #yennefer #dandeliyn

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