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breadbrobin · 4 months

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“in every other universe”

luke castellan x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

summary: luke said he’d love you in every other universe. luke was many things, but he wasn’t a liar.

warnings: ANGST, kissing, mentions of canon typical violence, use of pet names, so much angst bro omg

word count: 1.0k

(i wrote this AGES ago like around episode three so don’t come at me for it being a lil different to how he acts in the finale ok i did my best and i didn’t wanna change too much bc i love it)

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“do you think we’re together in every universe?”

it was a quiet question. one that luke’s ears could barely pick up through the murmurs of the hermes cabin and the whistling of the wind outside. your breath was right against his cheek though, and your whispered question carried to him.

he frowned. “what do you mean?”

“like,” he could hear you shifting to face him, and he looked over at you, seeing the outline of your features in the dark. “in every other universe where we exist—as whatever we exist as—do you think we met? became friends? then fell in love too?”

he was quiet for a moment, turning his head back to look up at the bunk above him. “yeah. i think we find each other in every universe. i don’t think even the fabric of time and space itself could tear us apart.”

he could hear your soft giggle through the night. “really?”

“really.” he rolled to face you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “not even the gods could tear us apart, baby. not the gods, not the universe itself, nothing.”

he punctuated his words with soft kisses, only stopping when you smiled and yawned tiredly.

“i love you,” you whispered, shifting closer and tucking your head under his chin.

he kissed your hair, warmth growing in his chest as it always did around you, especially on nights where you’d sneak into his bunk to fall asleep together, limbs tangled, hair messy, sleep in your eyes. “i love you too.” his voice was a whisper, barely audible. he said it like a prayer, a reverent statement that made you feel like the most loved person in the universe—in any universe. you wondered if all of your other iterations loved him like you did. if all of your other versions of yourself were as deeply, irrevocably in love with this boy who had you wrapped in his arms and wrapped around his fingers. you didn’t used to believe in fate and destiny. luke helped you see that he was yours.

in every other universe, you thought bitterly. i hope every other universe is happier than this.

luke had left. he was gone. long gone.

he’d came to see you, begging you on your knees to join him, to leave with him.

“please, my love, he can give us whatever we want. we can live forever, immortal in this new world that he will build us!” his eyes had been frantic, pleading… broken.

you had gotten to his level, cupping his face in your hands and stroking his cheeks softly. “luke…”

“baby, he will give us anything,” he’d begged. “anything. just come with me.”

you had shaken your head, kissed his lips one last time. your own were salty with tears. “he’s poisoned your mind, luke.”

“the gods have poisoned your mind,” he sneered. “they are responsible for everything. all the pain, all the unclaimed kids, this—“ he jabbed a finger at the scar on his face. “—and all the death that came with it.”

“and you think titans will be better? luke, don’t do this.”

“it’s already done,” he said, his voice stronger. “come with me. together in every universe. this will be the only one that matters anymore, baby. come with me.”

“no.” that was all you’d had to say.

his face crumbled. bitterness and regret filled his eyes, and for a second, you thought he might change his mind. you thought he might stay with you.

you were wrong.

he’d stood up, looking down at you with eyes colder than you’d ever seen. you’d always known luke could be volatile. he was too controlled sometimes, when he shouldn’t be, like he was always holding something back. his sword-fighting was too restrained, and yet too good. there was a balance there that was impossible to achieve unless you’d seen both sides—weak and strong, powerless and entirely powerful. you understood now what that was. you’d never been scared of him before.

he towered over you. “fine. you’ve made your choice. don’t come crying to us when you change your mind.”

the way he said ‘us’ sent a shiver down your spine. you felt nauseous as you kneeled there in front of him, not even feeling strong enough to stand up.

“i love you,” you whispered as he drew his sword.

he faltered for a moment, then his jaw clenched. “if you really loved me, you wouldn’t be betraying me like this.”

as the hilt of his sword hit your temple, memories flashed through your head—of sharing strawberries and kissing under trees, of skipping stones on the shore and sneaking into each others bunks when you couldn’t sleep. years of friendship, then love… all destroyed with the hit of a blade’s hilt. you wondered, who was really the traitor here? it didn’t feel like you.

when you’d woken up, you were in the infirmary. chiron was just outside with the new kid, percy jackson. annabeth was sitting beside you, holding your hand, tears in her eyes.

when she saw you were awake, she squeezed your hand and helped you sit up.

“he’s gone?” you asked weakly.

she nodded, her eyes filling with bitter tears again. “yeah. he… he attacked percy too. while everyone was celebrating. he…” she trailed off and shook her head. “he betrayed all of us. i should have seen it coming. i should have…”

you shook your head. how could he be so cruel? how could you not have noticed? it wasn’t annabeth’s job to—it wasn’t yours either, sure, but you’d seen the signs months ago. you should have seen how things would end. you should have done something sooner. you should have, you should have, you should have.

out loud, you said nothing, just opened your arms for annabeth to fall into. you both needed someone, but the person you both needed was nowhere to be found.

it wasn’t fair.

you didn’t know what was coming next, but you knew that luke’s soul was intertwined with yours, in whatever way it ended up being. he’d said once that you were his anchor, his reason to live after his failed quest… so why couldn’t you be his reason to stay? why couldn’t he have loved you more, loved you like he said he didn’t in every other universe, and stayed?

why, why, why? you feared you would find yourself asking that question until the day you died.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo x reader #luke castellan x you #charlie bushnell

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bunnakit · 5 months

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ok i'm finally doing it, i'm finally making one of my posts about The Sign because i can't take it anymore

Phaya and Tharn's constant back and forth has quickly become something I'm addicted to. Normally something like this would irritate me in almost any other show with any other context but with Phaya and Tharn it makes me lose my mind in the best way.

From episode 1 we see the way Phaya's very touch affects Tharn, the way his eyes roll back in his head and he instinctively melts back against him.

Every part of Tharn reacts to Phaya, Phaya calls to him in a way Tharn can't wholly resist, even in the most absurd of circumstances.

Tharn is drawn to Phaya like a moth (or a cold snake) to a flame. At every turn his drunken self and his subconscious reaches out for Phaya, craves him in a way Tharn can't suppress no matter how hard he tries.

Even when Phaya is stealing a kiss in the garden Tharn leans forward, almost imperceptibly, to meet Phaya in the middle because he wants. He can't let himself have this, but he wants it so badly it must feel like a crawling sensation under his skin, this craving to allow himself to have this, to steal whatever little moments he's allowed.

Even in his dreams he tilts his head just slightly, offers himself and his submission to Phaya's searing touch.

Every part of him is screaming to close the gap he insists on creating, to reach out and take what is being offered to him on a proverbial silver platter. He wanders the Garden of Eden and with each step the temptation of the Apple grows stronger. All he has to do is reach out his hand and take it but if he does he knows the Apple will rot. This is not a risk he's willing to take, not when it comes to Phaya, because Phaya is far too precious.

But even at his most vulnerable, his most exposed, he reaches out for Phaya, curls around him, and once again leans into his every touch - Because touching Phaya feels like coming home. There's something so deeply ingrained in them, this feeling of safety, of belonging that they foster in each other. Their souls reach out for each other and cling to every ounce of contact they receive, drifting to this warmth and light between them.

At every moment Tharn is called towards his true north. Phaya is like a warm balm on his heart that has been alone far too long. In trying to protect Phaya Tharn only serves to hurt them both, to deprive them each of something they desire on a level neither will probably ever understand. They're two halves, separate and broken, begging to be slotted back together and made whole again.

They make me feel so much, they have so much to overcome, so much hurt and tragedy and pain, but there's so, so much love just waiting to be seized. I absolutely cannot wait.

By the way, if you put these lyrics of 'Save Me' by Noah Kahan in context of Phaya Tharn it will make you partially insane (maybe that's just me)

Why do you keep reaching for my hand? Do you see something I can't? Why do you try to save me? This fate is well deserved I only make things worse Why do you try to save me? Have I served my sentence? Learned my lesson? Healed those wounds from my indiscretions? I don't know

#bunn meta #the sign #the sign the series #phayatharn #bunn gifs #yes i can and will apply a random song to every one of my blorbos #userjamiec

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notfreetoday · 8 months

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MPW Ep 5 Subtitle Corrections

Masterlist: EP 1 || EP 2 || EP 3 || EP 4

Y: 釣り合うわけないじゃん Y: 相手はよりによって　これだぞ　これ Y: There's no way (I) can match up (to him) Y: To this (person), of all people, this!

Ep 5 is about Yoh struggling with his desire to "match up" to Segasaki, and the objective difference that he sees between the two of them. It's different from Ep 2's struggle - which arose chiefly because he felt insecure about where he stood with Segasaki. This time, Yoh's struggle is predominantly with himself - because now he has to face up to his worst fear confirmed - that maybe he really is incompetent. And this time, he has to do it without the aid of alcohol too.

I've seen a lot of people talk about how Segasaki shows Yoh his love in every way but in words, and that that's the reason for their miscommunication - but that's not true. He may not use the word "love" or "like", but culturally these words are not often used anyway. What Segasaki does say however, multiple times throughout the show in fact but most clearly in this episode, is essentially "I like it when you depend on me". It's as direct a reassurance as you can get to the fear of being hated because of his perceived incompetence - but that's just the thing - Yoh's perception is skewed by his self-judgement. So, it's not that Segasaki can't use his words - the problem is that Yoh isn't ready to listen yet. Despite this, Yoh's confidence in his relationship with Segasaki is growing every episode. He might not realize this consciously, but it's right after Segasaki comforts and cares for Yoh at his lowest, that Yoh also drops to what is arguably the most casual speech level he's ever gotten with Segasaki (thus far) - and in response, so does Segasaki.

So, same translation disclaimer applies, Ep 5, let's go! (no twitter space for EP 5 probably because of the fan meets).

Y: 学生時代から不定期でもらってた単発の仕事も途切れて Y: 完全無職だ Y: あ、せめて、家事ぐらいはちゃんとやらないと Y: Now that the one-off jobs I've been receiving on an irregular basis since I was a student have been cut off Y: I'm completely jobless Y: Ah! At the very least, I have to do something as small as the housework properly.

Y: だって　そういうのがすきなんだよ、俺は Y: But, actually, that's what I like Yoh's explicit use of the personal pronoun "I" here again emphasizes that this is his own opinion. The way this sentence is phrased also gives the impression that Yoh feels a little aggrieved at the whole "your male characters are irritating to male readers because they're too perfect" explanation his editor gave him.

Y: *そりゃ、ほっといたら描いちゃうよ Y: **お前のせいだ Y: お前みたいなのが　***近くにいるから Y: バーカ Y: *Well I mean, if I'm left to my own devices then I'll end up drawing (him) Y: It's all your** fault Y: It's because someone like you, is (always) around*** me Y: I~diot. *The "aggrieved" feeling is even stronger in this sentence - Yoh is basically saying that he doesn't set out to draw the characters that way - it just sort of happens, and well it's not his fault, because as long as no one (including he himself) is paying attention to what he's drawing, well then, the characters just turn out that way. ** This is the first time that Yoh has referred to Segasaki using the informal pronoun "お前 (omae)" for "you". Depending on the context, it could be considered a rude pronoun, but is mostly just seen as a marker of masculine speech, and thus leans more towards being simply "impolite". It's the same pronoun that Segasaki uses when he speaks to Yoh - but Yoh usually uses the slightly more polite "あんた(anta)" instead, both in his head as well as when he speaks aloud. The switch here emphasizes Yoh's accusation, that this is all Segasaki's fault. ***the phrase here is often used to say that someone is "by your side" or "here for you" and doesn't only refer to physical distance. So, although he's using "omae" and "blaming" Segasaki for his characters turning out looking perfect, these 4 lines actually still sound pretty intimate. Together with how he drags out the word "idiot", this is very clearly Yoh's amae, similar to what we saw in Ep 4. I... will probably write a post about amae as well, because it's so important to their relationship.

Y: 洋服を着たまま海に溺れるように Y: 暗いものが染み込んで Y: 黒いものを吸い込んで Y: ブヨブヨになった体はずっしりと Y: 重く　重く。。。 Y: It feels as if I'm drowning in the ocean whilst fully dressed Y: The darkness seeping into (me) Y: The blackness pouring into (my mouth) Y: My body, now swollen, sinks heavily down Y: So heavy. So heavy.

S: なんだ　いるじゃねぇか S: 電気も付けねぇで　何やっ S: Oh so you are here S: Not even switching on the lights, what were-

S: *あちゃ～　これやり直しだな S: *Ahchaa... This needs to be redone then..

*This is just a sound that you make similar to "oh man..." so I'm not sure why it was translated so forcefully as "it's no good"😅 This sentence is another example of soliloquy, or talking to oneself aloud, that is common in Japanese.

Y: ご飯、ない Y: ごめんなさい Y: すぐ準備する S: *しょうがねぇなぁ　ほら立て S: 行くぞ Y: Food... there isn't any Y: I'm sorry Y: I'll make it soon S: *What do I do with you... come on stand up S: We're going

Yoh is really down here because he loses practically all his words. His first sentence is literally "food, none", and when he says I'm sorry he uses the casual (but full) version "gomen nasai" instead of "suimasen" like he usually does. It makes him sound a lot younger than usual, and overall just adds to the kicked-puppy vibe really well. *しょうがねぇなぁ (shouganee naa) - this is a common phrase that literally translates to "there is no way (to deal with this)" or more commonly "(this situation) can't be helped". It's used to express a sort of acceptance, like in a "oh well, it can't be helped, so don't feel too bad" or "well there's no way this could've been avoided, so let's just get on with it" sorta way. Here, the way Segasaki adds "naa" at the end with a rising tone, actually makes it sound a little indulgent - like when you find your puppy made a mess but it's too cute for you to feel upset and you just love it more. (Also, this is a really common way to show affection between characters in dramas/anime - when one character is down in the dumps, another will be like "well what am I going to do with an idiot like you, I guess I have to help, right?")

S: 葉　とりあえず　口開けろ S: Yoh. In any case, open your mouth first

S: ごちそうさまでした (gochisousama deshita) S: Thank you for the food This is a standard phrase said at the end of a meal (it's counterpart is "itadakimasu - I gratefully partake" said at the beginning). It expresses gratitude to everyone involved in making the meal possible - from the farmers who grew the vegetables to the person who cooked the meal, and yes, even to the animals themselves. Usually, you would say this to the person who made the meal, or the one treating you to it, but it's Segasaki here who leads the saying of this phrase. This isn't weird at all, given the broad meaning of the word, but it is reminiscent of what a parent would do at home, or a teacher would do in school (Japanese teachers eat with their students in class).

S: なんか落ち込んでんの？ Y: 漫画が　とてもだめです* S: You seem a little down about something? Y: My manga is... really bad.* *desu form is back, to give emphasis to this sentence. That said - and I'm really not trying to belittle Yoh here - but similar to the "food, none" phrase earlier, this sentence is just so short and simple that it just makes him sound, well, young. Imagine asking someone "you don't seem to like that person?", and they look at you all serious and say "they're a bad person" - it just sounds unexpectedly young and innocent, and the whole "desu" at the end just tops off the kicked puppy vibes for real. It's why Segasaki snorts a little and smiles.

S: お前漫画がだめだと　こうなんの？ S: えっ　そんだけ？ Y: うん S: ふーん Y: そんだけってなんだよ Y: こっちは　今にも　死にそうな気分なのに

S: So when your manga is bad you become like this? S: Eh? That's all? Y: Mm. S: Hmm~ Y: What do you mean "that's all?" Y: When here I am feeling like I'm about to die soon In case you were wondering, "that's all?" in Japanese sounds exactly as it does in English, so no blaming Yoh here for being all 😟 about it.

S: ほら*　早く来い S: Now, come here, quickly. *ほら (hora) - I last highlighted this word in Ep 3, but Segasaki actually uses it a lot more that just these 2 instances (not least because Yoh's always avoiding him). It's simply a word used to get the listener's attention, like, "look here" or "now" or "see" or "come on" etc.

S: 今日はお前がされるがまま*で気分よかったわ S: もっと落ち込め S: Today you did exactly as you were told, so I felt really good S: Be dejected more often *されるがまま - this phrase means to passively go along with whatever the other person says or does to you, without any resistance (it can also refer to letting nature take its course). It's mostly used to describe a negative situation since it usually implies that the person has no free will of their own, but can also be fairly neutral as in "I followed the waiter's recommendations exactly". So, it's quite amusing that in these 2 sentences, negative sounding words are actually meant to be really sweet (just like how Yoh's "I hate you" sounds eh?).

Personally, I also appreciate how this is a callback to Yoh's monologue in Ep 3, when he talks about noticing the way Segasaki looks just that little bit happier when Yoh listens to him. Here, Segasaki confirms it for Yoh (and us), reinforcing to Yoh that he really doesn't mind Yoh depending on him one bit.

Y: こんなの本物の恋人同士みたいだ Y: あんた*　まるで本当に　俺のこと好きみたいじゃん Y: Like this... it feels like we're a real live couple Y: You*... it's as if you really do like me *We're back to Yoh's usual "anta" here for "you", instead of the "omae" he used earlier.

S: しょうがねぇなぁ S: What do I do with you This is the same phrase as earlier, when Segasaki found Yoh by the laundry machine.

Oh, the moon is beautiful isn't it? 🤭🤭

Y: だって　俺の漫画は世間に求められてないわけですし Y: But, it seems like the world doesn't want my manga... The phrase "the world wants/doesn't want" is commonly used when talking about finding one's place in the world/society, and young adults often say this when trying to figure their life out. So yes, not so uncommon a phrase that this sentence sounds ridiculous, but it definitely does sound a little dramatic. Hence Man-san's response.

M: *甘ったれんな　思い上がんな M: Don't be so *spoiled. Don't think so highly of yourself. *The is the same word, amae, that Man-san used in Ep 4 when she said Yoh was being affectionate with Segasaki. This is another meaning of amae, and it is used in a negative way here, which sort of shows you the complexity of this concept. Underlying it is the message that it's okay to be dependent on your loved ones for your emotional needs, but you still need to take responsibility for your own life.

M: 衣食住の保障された環境でのんびり描いてて　 M: 一回仕事が途切れたぐらいでうじうじ言ってんのか M: 本気で気に食わない Y: 万さん　オーバーキルです M: Being able to draw freely without having to worry about your clothes, food or lodging M: and yet acting all wishy-washy the moment something as small as getting your work cut off just once happens M: I really can't stand that Y: Man-san, that's overkill The term Man-san uses to describe Yoh's current living arrangement is the same term that Segasaki used in his not-proposal, so this suggests that by now Yoh has told her everything about how they got together (and I love that Man-san totally does not judge). It's not explicitly talked about in the show, but despite their similar status as Segasaki Otakus, Man-san does often come across as something like a mentor figure to Yoh, or at least someone senior to him in the Manga world. For one, she speaks very casually to him (for a lady, she sounds as rough as Segasaki tbh 😅), even for someone from the Kansai region, and she often gives him advice. Yoh usually speaks to her informally, but in this whole conversation he does shift up to the desu/masu form often, in response to her scolding him, because she's really going at it (even after taking into account her usual speech pattern😅) and well, he's smarting a little at the moment 😂

M: 世間がどうとかじゃなくて　ダヨちゃんはどうしたいの？ Y: え？ M: ダヨちゃんにとって　漫画って　そういうもんだったの？ M: もうちょっと落ち着いて　考えな M: Rather than thinking about what the world wants, what do you, Dayo-chan, want to do? Y: Huh? M: Is that all that manga is to you, Dayo-chan? M: Calm down a little more and think about it yea?

Y: かたじけのうございます Y: I am indebted to you! This is a very very archaic way to say thank you, think like samurai-level archaic. These two definitely live in the world of manga 😂😂

S: もう体調は戻ったのか？ Y: はい　おかげさまで* S: また　崩してくれても**いいんだぞ Y: ええ？ S: Have you recovered now? Y: Yes, thanks to you* S: It's okay to feel down again for me** too you know Y: Eh?? *Okagesamade - standard phrase you use when someone asks after your health, or when you want to express gratitude for someone else's role in your success/improvement/recovery etc ** 崩してくれて (kuzushite kurete)" - adding "kurete" at the end like this literally means that Yoh does the action of feeling down for Segasaki, rather than just "it's okay to feel down again", which is why Yoh responds in such a surprised manner. As he did before, Segasaki takes what normally is a bad thing and talks about it like it's something good instead. It's his way of emphasizing that Yoh depending on him isn't an inconvenience, in fact, it's something that Segasaki is happy to be on the receiving end of.

Y: これから自分たちをモデルにした漫画を描きに行きますなんて言えないし Y: そもそも、万さんのところにしばらく通うことを許してくれるかどうか。。。 Y: なんとか説得しないと Y: It's not like I can just say "from now on I will be going (out) to draw a manga based on us!" or something like that and... Y: In the first place, (I don't know) whether or not he'll allow me to go to Man-san's place regularly during this period... Y: I have to find some way convince him.

Argument breakdown time, things get intense~~

Y: あの。。。 S: ん？ Y: 今日　編集部で打ち合わせをすることになった* Y: Um... S: Hm? Y: Today, I have a meeting at the editorial department* *Literally, "It has been decided that today (I) will be having a meeting at the editorial department" - this might sound like an indirect way to say "I am going to a meeting" but it's pretty par for the course when speaking politely. Except, Yoh doesn't use the polite form here like he did in Ep 4, nor does he phrase this sentence as an explanation that he's going to follow up on. Nope, by Yoh's usual standards, this is An Announcement, so it's no wonder Segasaki is immediately suspicious.

S: はあ？　仕事切られたんじゃねえのかよ？ Y: いや　そ、その。。。新しいやつ Y: しばらく　忙しくて Y: 場合によっては編集部に泊まりもあるかも S: 昨日の今日で　そんなことあるか？ Y: たまたま連絡がきたんだよね S: お前　なんか　俺に嘘ついてない？ Y: う、嘘じゃない S: いや　おかしいだろ　泊りって S: お前　まさか変な仕事じゃねぇだろうな？ Y: そんなこと。。。ないよ！ S: Haa? Didn't they stop giving you work? [じゃねえのかよ - Segasaki slurs the end vowel here, and adds the end particle "かよ(ka yo)" at the end, which is a rough way to express doubt or surprise, and usually implies some irritation. This, combined with Segasaki's trademark annoyed "haa?" results immediately in a rather flustered Yoh, who stutters a little on the next sentence] Y: No, it-it's... this is a new one. Y: For a while, I'm going to be busy and Y: Depending on the situation, staying overnight at the editorial department... might... be... necessary... [No end particles here - this is still a statement, and would sound stronger if not for the fact that he's hesistating so much] S: And all that just happens today, on this day, just one day after yesterday? Y: ...It just so happened that they contacted me, you see... S: You... are lying to me, aren't you? Y: I-it's not a lie! S: No, it's weird isn't it, to stay overnight? S: You - don't tell me - you aren't doing some kind of shady job are you? Y: There's nothing... of that sort!

S: 葉 Y: はい S: Yoh Y: Yes (hai)?

Yoh's been making a valiant effort to stick to his story throughout this whole conversation but his tone changes completely and he pretty much gives up once Segasaki points out he's lying. In response - and this is not easy to hear but if you want to, go back to about 19:56 or 19:57 of this episode - do you hear Segasaki's small "tsk", after his sigh and before he says Yoh's name? Clicking your tongue, or "tsk-ing" someone is a very very rude way to express frustration or anger in Japan. We're talking get-into-drunk-fights level of rude, if you do it to a stranger. Amongst close friends and family, you're more likely to draw shock first, since it shows the depth of your anger, but they might still get pissed with you afterward. Here at least, Yoh can tell both from the tsk and Segasaki's tone of voice, that he is Not Happy, so he answers Segasaki with a proper "hai" here too.

S: ちょっとここ座れ* Y: はい S: 早く S: Come sit here* Y: Yes S: Be quick. *Slurred "r" on the word "suware" - sit makes this sound very very rough. Segasaki doesn't normally do this, so again, this is him angry, and he's going to slur his r's quite a bit more.

S: お前さ　自分の立場わかってんの？ S: 分かってねぇだろ　分かってねぇから　泊りで仕事とか言い出すんだろうが Y: え～っとだから遊びに行くわけじゃないし。。。 S: そうじゃねぇだろ S: ああ～もう S: 金か？なんか欲しいもんがあるなら買ってやる Y: 違くて　少しはさ。。。 Y: 自分が稼がないとって S: 必要ない　なんで分かんねぇかな S: お前は稼がなくていいんだよ S: Listen, you - do you even understand what position you're in? S: You don't do you? You don't understand and that's why you can just say things like you'll stay out to work overnight. [This is harsh. Not only is the speech rough, he's still slurring some of his "r"s here, and the ending particle だろうが emphasizes the forcefulness of this statement and Segasaki's frustration - and you can see the effect it has on Yoh.] Y: Umm well... it's not like I'm going for fun or something... [This is indignant, but also nervous - Yoh's speaking a lot faster than usual, and he has to drag the filler words at the beginning out before he can figure out what to say.] S: That's not what I'm talking about is it! [slurred r again] S: Argh I swear - S: Is it money? If there's something you want then I'll buy it for you [more slurred "r"s] Y: That's not it! Even just a little - [This is the first time Yoh uses the end particle "さ (sa)", and just like Segasaki, he's using it to draw attention to what he's saying, essentially the equivalent of "listen!". This whole line isn't rude, but it is direct and it's probably the most forceful Yoh has gotten with Segasaki so far, even compared to their argument in Ep 2 - Yoh might have physically pushed Segasaki then, but he mostly just sounded hurt. Here, he's very tense, but he's cut off by Segasaki biting his ear.] Y: - I should earn some money myself (at least, I thought so) [This is more like how Yoh usually voices his opinion - by "hedging" his sentences a little with "I think" and so on to sound less direct - though he's still using truncated forms here, so he's not quite back to his usual level yet] S: There's no need to. [To self:] Why don't you understand? S: It's fine even if you don't earn anything. [Similarly, Segasaki softens this sentence just a tiny bit by tacking on a よ(yo) at the end]

Y: でも! S: あのな　俺はお前に漫画の仕事がなくなろうがどうでもいいんだ Y: But! S: Listen to me. I don't care at all whether you lose your manga work or not. [To be fair to Yoh, the phrase "どうでもいいんだ" literally means "it's fine either way" but it tends to feel like "I don't care because it doesn't matter/make a difference to me/doesn't really involve me", so you can see why it triggers him.]

It's interesting to contrast Yoh's reaction here with the above 2 times Segasaki says something with a negative connotation. Of course, Segasaki also sounded a lot sweeter then (though in his defence, he didn't have to worry about why Yoh might be trying to lie to him all of a sudden), but the biggest difference really is in Yoh's mindset.

Y: え？ S: 当然だろ S: だから余計なこと*すんな Y: なんだよ　どうでもいいって Y: 漫画のこと　分からないなりに　応援してくれてるもんだと思ってたのに Y: あんたにとってはくだらないことでも Y: 俺にとってはすごく Y: すごく大事な事なのに Y: 全然よくない Y: バカにすんなよ！ Y: Huh? S: Isn't that obvious? S: So, don't do unnecessary* things [*余計なこと - This phrase is used to refer to the problems that arise from whatever thing/action is in excess, and so has a negative connotation. Yoh is too fixated on the previous line to notice though] Y: What's that (supposed to mean)... "I don't care" Y: I've always thought that manga was something you supported me in, despite not knowing much about it, and yet... Y: Even if to you, it's something trivial Y: To me, it's something that's extremely Y: It's something extremely important and yet... Y: This is definitely not ok Y: Don't look down on me! [word contraction - again, by Yoh's standards, at least when he talks out loud to Segasaki, this is a drop in speech levels]

Y: 絶対あんたより稼げるようになってやる Y: 漫画で! Y: I'm definitely going to become someone who can earn more money than you! Y: With manga! I think difference between simply "earning more" and "becoming someone who can earn more" is important here - because it isn't about money - it's about competence. Yoh thinks his own worth is calculated in his ability to do things "well", be it in his work or at home. By that measure, Segasaki is worth everything and Yoh is sorely lacking, hence Yoh wants to "become" someone that is, in his mind, worth something. Because if he does not, then inevitably, Segasaki will one day come to disdain him.

There are so many times in this episode that Yoh hears things that should cement their relationship in his head, that he even recognizes as couple-like and accepts without protest - Man-san referring to Segasaki as Yoh's boyfriend, Segasaki losing his whole "man-of-a-few-words" thing and saying more to him in this episode than in any other, verbal confirmation that Yoh depending on him is something he welcomes etc. And yet, Yoh's fear filters all of that out and he hears only what sounds like his own self-judgement in Segasaki's voice. It's no wonder he lashes out at Segasaki like that, though really, who he's really attacking is himself. Afterall, sometimes when we hurt ourselves, we hurt the people who love us too, as we'll see in Ep 6.

(That was quite the arguement though, wasn't it!)

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #MPW subtitle corrections #mytranslations #segasaki x yoh #segasaki definitely uses the wrong words sometimes #but it's not like he doesn't use the right ones either #until yoh acknowledges and believes in his own strengths #segasaki could promise to love yoh for all their natural lives and then some #and yoh would still fear that segasaki might hate him #sorry i just see so much discourse about how things could be solved if they just used words #but it's not about what is being said (or not)#it's about what is (and isn't) being heard

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darkside-skyguy · 9 months

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Ahsoka Part 5 thoughts (spoilers)

For me, this finally felt like an episode of Ahsoka, rather than a Rebels sequel series. I love Rebels but if you're going to call this the Ahsoka show then you damn well better center the title character!!! Anyway, this episode was all about her and her trauma and we needed this deep exploration in order for the character to grow. She could not have continued on this journey without confronting Anakin. I only wish there was more of this exploration!!!

On that note, I'm glad Hera isn't going with Ahsoka to find Ezra and Sabine. As much as I love Hera, this is Ahsoka's journey and the show is stronger for focusing on her rather than splitting its focus between all these different characters.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN IN CLONE WARS ARMOR

I've always been a Hayden Christensen fan but good god Hayden Christensen was amazing in this episode. Just so so SO good. It was so exciting to see him embody the Anakin of TCW that I literally sat up in my seat and screamed every time he was on screen. Really, it was magical to watch <3

The shot of Anakin transforming into Vader and back again in the fog was EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

Sith eyes sith eyes sith eyes sith eyes

I loved the flashbacks and I loved little Ahsoka. Seeing these scenes in live action really emphasized just how young Ahsoka was when the Clone Wars began in a way that animation never really did. It was so cool to see this side of Anakin in his role as mentor at the very beginning of Ahsoka's training. I want 50 more episodes of scenes like this, please.

REX MY BELOVED

"You are more because I am more" I am WEEPING

The only thing I was a little disappointed about was the World Between Worlds. We didn't actually see any portals or how the WBW works. The fight between Ahsoka and Anakin could have taken place anywhere and I'm still not quite clear on why they were in the WBW. Was Anakin a Force ghost? A memory? Is he like the Son now, but instead of Mortis he lives in the WBW? I would like more information, but I don't think we're going to get more and that saddens me.

Very excited to see where the purgill take them. I love that they are leaving the galaxy far far away for the first time (outside of the EU, anyway)

Can't wait for next week :) :)

#ahsoka #ahsoka tano #ahsoka show #ahsoka series #ahsoka tv #spoilers #star wars #anakin skywalker #the clone wars #captain rex #hera syndulla #ezra bridger #sabine wren #darth vader #rebels #star wars rebels #alyssa rambles #star wars thoughts

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good-to-drive · 2 months

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Rating Beatle Caricatures from The Simpsons (Non-Exhaustive)

7/10. Pretty much exactly what you'd imagine "Simpsons-style Beatles" to look like. Paul's sultry-yet-superior eyes are simple and effective. John and George are recognizable but unremarkable, though John's Roman nose has translated well. Ringo's puppy dog eyes are perfect and his nose is only mildly offensive.

11/10. Deeply offensive portrayal of the snooter but I don't care. I want a pocket sized figurine of this character to carry with me at all times because looking at this picture tells me that everything is going to be all right. The warm fuzziness of Ringo Starr has blended perfectly with the warm fuzziness of classic Simpsons and I could not be happier.

2/10. I'm not saying it isn't accurate, I'm just saying that I hate it.

9/10. I'm biased because this episode sparked my interest in vegetarianism, but they really have captured the effeminate, dreamy, fuckable look of mid 90s Paul McCartney incredibly well, right down to the eyebrows. There's a touch of their later tendency to draw celebrities in a less stylistic way than original characters, but he's still very clearly Simpsons Paul. We don't have to talk about what they did to Linda.

3/10. The glasses are doing a LOT of work here. Somehow it feels like they tried to make him more conventionally attractive, like they put their reference photo through an Instagram filter before they drew it. It's symptomatic of modern Simpsons in that it's pleasant to look at but devoid of personality or joy. Also, on a personal note, this episode led to a lot of jokes online about how John would never go to heaven, which isn't so much offensive as offensively first-thought.

0/10. Soulless.

10000000/10. I know technically this one doesn't count, but this episode and specifically this still is undeniably their best and most compelling caricature of The Beatles. Apu radiating George-esque exhaustion and disillusionment, Barney/John looking to Homer/Paul with mistrust (but he's still looking to him), and Skinner with his eyes downcast, fully withdrawn into himself, a stone in a torrential river that is finally overflowing its banks. They've deviated from the original image but in doing so have made its impact more pointed and powerful. As we look at this still we become heartbreakingly aware that The Be Sharps are over in every way that matters, and yet we know too that they are not over. That the love Homer felt for his unborn child when he wrote Baby On Board is only growing stronger every day, that the things expressed in this episode will continue to matter to us even after the characters have returned to their normal roles. The Simpsons is episodic by nature and nothing, no matter how compelling, will still exist in a week. But ephemeral things like love and hope and earnestness are no less powerful, no less the purpose of our human lives, because they come to us in brief episodes. Just because they no longer exist it doesn't mean they are no longer real. I don't know why Yoko looks like that.

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #ringo starr #george harrison #beatles #get back #the simpsons #the be sharps

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our-flag-means-love · 9 months

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by popular demand (aka the 63 people who voted "yes" in my poll (six months ago oops) for whether or not i should do this)

here's why ofmd is a romcom, beat by beat

so for the purposes of this analysis, the ten stages outlined in this article are what i'm using for reference.

(and for the sake of everyone's dashes, i've added a cut because This Got Long. like, genuinely, 1.6k and 24 images. you've been warned.)

1. Unfulfilled Desire: something important is missing from the love interests' lives.

before the love interests meet, both of their lives are lacking in some way, often in a way they hardly realize. and this unfulfilled desire doesn't have to be romantic love in and of itself, and quite often it's not. and the things missing from ed and stede's lives are not romantic love. not at first.

what stede's missing is skill and structure. to put it bluntly, he has no idea what the fuck he's doing as a pirate, and without the guidance of someone more experienced, he'd likely get himself and his whole crew killed soon.

meanwhile, what ed's missing is interest. he's just about as bored with his life as anyone can be. every day is the same, and he needs something new—a new environment, a new challenge—to bring the spark back into his life.

2. Meet-Cute: the love interests meet, and at first, their personalities clash.

now, granted... in most meet-cutes, one of the protagonists isn't like three-quarters dead and nearly unconscious. but, as we know, ofmd is not like most shows.

but when we fast forward a bit to their real proper first meeting, we can quickly start to see how their personalities differ. in many meet-cutes, the love interests start off on bad terms, but in ofmd it's more of a contrast than a real clash, as stede and ed take a liking to each other right away.

in their very first conversation, stede is self-conscious and fretting, while ed is relaxed as can be. and as they talk, ed is in awe of stede's eccentricities, and stede is in awe of ed's powerful reputation.

and nothing exemplifies their contrast better than what they spend the rest of the episode doing—literally switching clothes and switching roles, getting a taste of what it would be like to be each other.

3. Happy Together: the love interests spend time together and grow to enjoy each other's company.

the classic honeymoon phase—not necessarily denoting romance yet, just a bond that continues to grow stronger the more time they spend together.

one of their first, biggest bonding events, just a few days after they met, is of course the fancy french party. while the night ends in disaster, the two end up much closer after the experiences they shared.

however, i think by far the best example of this stage is the montage at the beginning of episode 6, narrated by none other than my favorite (derogatory) terrible little rat man, izzy hands, who will become relevant soon. in romcoms, this stage is often shown through montages, so it only makes sense that that would be a great demonstration of it here as well.

4. Obstacles Arise: the love interests' original lives and obligations catch back up with them.

it's no longer possible to avoid the hard truths their happiness let them ignore. while both ed and stede go through this, i think stede goes through it differently and at different, non-linear times, so i'll talk about him first.

the pre-edward life that stede has been forcing to the back of his mind is, quite obviously, his wife and children back on land. and he's done a very effective job of ignoring it while he's been around ed.

he was fretting about it before—like in episode 2 with nigel's guilt ghost—but it doesn't seem to fully hit him again until he learns in episode 9 that he'd been declared dead. (in my opinion, the dreams/flashbacks in episode 4 feel less about stede's guilt, specifically, than these other instances do. but even if they are, that's still before he properly met ed.) so he does go through this stage, but it happens in slightly different ways and at different times.

ed, on the other hand, has a very specific and concrete obligation that catches up with him: a promise he made two weeks ago.

this is where izzy comes in. just as mary is the personified symbol of stede's old life, izzy is the equivalent for ed. whether ed initially intended to follow through on the plan or only said it to placate izzy is up for debate (and my personal take is that it's somewhere in between, but that's a story for another time), but izzy is going to hold him to it regardless.

and when ed can't bring himself to do it, because of both his growing feelings for stede and his trauma around killing people himself, izzy is determined to carry out the act for him.

5. The Journey: the love interests face and overcome the obstacles together.

what better way to overcome adversity than by getting thumbtacked to a mast by the same Very Angy Little Guy who's the source of the adversity in the first place? with izzy banished, the biggest obstacle to ed and stede's love is out of the way (for now).

stede still hasn't overcome his big obstacle, of course, but as i said, that happens very non-linearly with regard to the romcom structure.

the two also overcome other minor obstacles, like their bickering during the treasure hunt adventure. the key is that they face what's in their path and settle into a new normal with each other.

6. New Obstacles: despite solutions seeming effective, more hardships arise.

the next big issue thrown into ed and stede's relationship has a name, and its name is calico jack rackham, my favorite (affectionate) dumpster fire of a man. which makes sense—after all, his sole purpose in meeting up with them was to separate them before the english navy arrived. and he does a damn effective job of it.

and even once he's gone, they're still faced with chauncey badminton, stede's near-execution, and his and ed's eventual surrender to the english. they may have escaped chauncey's wrath (for now), but they bought it at the cost of their freedom.

and on top of all of that, now they finally confess their feelings for each other and make plans to run away together, and the choice—really, stede's choice—of whether or not to go through with running off to china looms in the distance. speaking of which…

7. The Choice: the love interests have to decide if the relationship can work.

a turning point is reached, and a decision has to be made. can they go through with it? are they really the best thing for each other?

the choice stede makes here is helped along in no small part by chauncey badminton, whose encounter just solidifies the beliefs stede already held—that he abandoned his family, and that ed is better off without him.

so stede makes the choice to run.

he goes home to his family, and ed is left to return to the ship alone.

8. Crisis: the love interests—now apart—ruminate and face the consequences of their choice.

the winter of their discontent. stede has made his choice, they've separated, and they're both worse off for it.

ed is depressed, retreating to his blanket fort and writing sad songs while eating marmalade.

and meanwhile, stede is back with mary and the kids, but learns that they'd all moved on and were much happier without him around. so he's left trying to force himself back into a space where he no longer fits, and all the while he misses ed more than anything.

and of course, ed takes it one step further by going full emo kraken mode. he's so distraught about stede leaving that he too forces himself back into the shell of what people expect of him—of what he was supposed to be before he even met stede—despite not fitting there anymore.

it's obvious that without each other, they're both in pretty rough shape.

9. Epiphany: one or both of the love interests conclude that they belong together and rush to reunite.

think of this stage as the person running through the airport to reach their love interest before the flight leaves.

in ofmd, it's clear who has the epiphany, because we watch it happen in real time. stede sits down with mary and asks her how it feels to be in love, and while she describes it, all he can think of is his time with ed. he finally realizes that what he's been feeling all along is love.

once he knows this, he knows he has to leave his family again, so he can reunite with ed. he and mary stage their fuckery, and stede rows off in a dinghy bound for wherever ed is, because he knows that as long as he's with ed, he'll be happy and everything will be okay.

10. Resolution: the love interests are reunited. desires are fulfilled, and all is well.

sooo… stay tuned for october 5th, i suppose?

#the show is the relationship y'all #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd analysis #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

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taradactylus · 28 days

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Been off from tumblr a bit but I just wanna share my general thoughts about TSAMS, especially today's episode...

‼️Quick warning for suicide and self harm mention‼️

I feel betrayed. I legit cried. Out of embarassment, betrayal, and pure but well-reserved anger.

I'm not going to be quiet about how to show handled Sun's problem. Not one fucking media type ever dares to normally bring up suicidal problems, the people who suffer from this, the amount of kids and adults who DIE from such thoughts. This isn't about the overly edgy teenagers who want to normalize cutting yourself is okey and cool. This is about the people who suffered for months and years with such conditions while the world made fun of them or ignored their calls for help. Ignored the signs.

USA doesn't have much of a public transport where the show is going on. But here we do. And a lot of trains are late every day. Late for hours because of "mechanical issues". 8 out of 10 times the mechanical issue is a local kid who jumped front of the train. A teenager fed up with life. An adult who lost their way. An ederly too impatient for death.

I have waited months. Months. To see how Sun deals with it. A character I fell in love with not in a romantic sense, a character who shared way too many of my own problems from hallucinations from abuse till betrayal. A character who was pushed and pulled their entire life around people who slapped you then said they love you. I wanted to see how he heals out from it.

The signs were there. Everywhere. Sun said it out loud once that he at least fantasized about death. EVEN OLD MOON KNEW ABOUT THIS! He literally told New Moon Sun would be capable of doing it.

So why... why through Miku, the character used as the "weird fandom girl" symbol do they bring up such a delicate topic? A topic that is not delicate because you have to tip toe around the people who live with self destructive thoughts day and night, but delicate because it matters to be properly heard out AND NO ONE LISTENS!

Not one fucking media listens. A lot of us out there rely on fandoms. Stories we can escape to because the world never listens. And call me a self-projector all you want dear creators or whoever writes the story, but you either just pulled the cheapest and most dumbest way to close off a story line with solving Sun's problems off-screen, or you just legit don't give a fuck about people who "self-projected".

Honestly, what if I did? What if in a sense, I saw myself in Sun? A Sunshine of a character ruined and changed by the things that happened to him. Am I not allowed to relate to him? Am I an annoying "fan-girl" for caring about how he heals because I myself have no idea how to do it either? Or am I like Miku for hoping someone calls out on his behaviour because that's something I've wanted my entire life and never got?

And here I am, still somehow hoping Sun is lying. That he is in denial. That there is more to what was shown... but honestly? How long should I wait and hope while the character I started to like is now becoming a bit too toxic?

And with all due respect, I'm taking this episode personally. The creators watch the fandom. Probably have their secret accounts to see what the people theorize. And if Sun is not lying, and suicide is an annoying topic and we are self-projecting too much onto Sun, with all due respect, dear creators... grow the fuck up and educate yourself.

I don't need the world to pity my ass for having self-harming habits, wishing to die and even attempted suicide before (I'm getting my ass to therapy in the meantime so do not worry about me), but all I want from content creators to fucking educate themselfes before bringing up such topics. TO CARE A BIT MAYBE?!

I have survived my worst times, but not everyone does (it's not about who is weaker or stronger, only utter guilt held me back, without that I'd be long gone), andI want for those who has no help feel like they're heard and seen. Cause literally that's all itt takes sometimes to maybe save someone's life.

So yeah. I'm utterly disappointed in this episode. Not because I want the world to know that I'm suicidal and everyone should tip toe around me and "omg pls give me attention" ect ect ect...

Im disappointed because I had hopes for TSAMS to maybe, maybe be an example and bring this topic up normally for a change. But well... here goes my hope for an educational approach of suicide and self harm in a popular show.

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aspoonofsugar · 15 days

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Angel and Alastor: Masquerade

Angel and Alastor are the first two demons to join the Hazbin Hotel, as respectively a guest and a staff member. However, both hide their real motivations and feelings towards the project.

On the one hand Angel deep down wants to change, but is too scared to admit it:

And I know I'm raisin' cane by every highway in Hell Maybe things won't be so terrible inside this hotel

On the other hand Alastor has ulterior motives, but he has yet to disclose them:

I'm hungry for freedom like never before The constraints of my deal surely have a back door

In other words, the two demons wear a mask and refuse to reveal their real feelings. This behavior is rooted in two jungian archetypes that can be used to describe Angel and Alastor's parallel arcs.

PERSONA AND SHADOW

According to Jung, the persona and the shadow are two complementary parts of the human mind:

The persona or mask is what lies in the light for others to see. It is what a person shows while interacting with the world.

The shadow or beast is what is hidden in the darkness. It is what a person represses and refuses to reveal to the world.

Both Angel and Alastor wear personas to hide their shadows:

Angel Dust: Oh ho ho, me? Fake? Wow, I had no idea. Guess that's why I'm an actor, dumbass.

Alastor: Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath.

However, they are opposites in how they deal with this masquerade.

Angel embodies the persona, as he is linked to masks and lights (he peforms under flashing lights):

He always acts to the point he is trapped in a neverending role:

Angel Dust: It's not an act! It's who I need to be.

So, he doesn't know who he is anymore. Is Angel Dust all there is? Or can Anthony still be found deep down?

Valentino owns Anthony and has forced him in the persona of Angel Dust.

Alastor embodies the shadow, as he is linked to darkness (his powers make use of shadow-creatures):

He represses his feelings behind a smile:

Alastor: A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

As a result, his darkest instincts are slowly taking over, making him a threath to both others and himself:

As Alastor hides his true intentions, his shadow grows bigger and more malicious.

The two demons perfectly sum up how dangerous the persona and the shadow can be, if left unchecked:

If one constantly wears a mask, it won't come off and will suffocate the person's self.

If one keeps on repressing their emotions, these feelings will grow stronger and find violent ways to come out.

Angel is a persona stuck to the face, whereas Alastor is a festering shadow.

The two characters' similar and yet opposite archetypes are so intertwined in Angel and Alastor's stories that they emerge in two additional ways.

1- Structurally

Angel is the only supporting character, who gets a whole episode dedicated to himself. He is the protagonist of Masquerade's A plot, whereas Charlie gets the B plot. He steals the spotlight (LIGHT)

Alastor is a character, who is never the protagonist of an episode. He gets development through the B plots, whereas others, like Lucifer, get the A plots. He thrives in the shadows (SHADOW)

2- Through Angel and Alastor's media motifs

PORN STAR AND RADIO DEMON

Angel is an actor, whereas Alastor is a radio host. These two medias tie into both the characters' bonds and identities.

Angel - The porn star

Bonds - In porn movies, actors fake pleasure on camera. Similarly, Angel Dust only knows fake love. He is trapped in unhealthy relationships and lets others exploit him. Be them Valentino or some random dudes in a bar:

Angel Dust: You don't think I can tell if someone spikes my drink? I do this all the fuckin' time!

At the same time, Angel himself approaches everyone in an overly sexual way:

Angel Dust: No activity requires more trust than BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage!

It is not by chance that he suggests to bond through bondage. It is because for him sex equals bonds. However, this approach makes so he is unable to create genuine romantic relationships.

Identity - To act means to play the part of someone you are not, which is what Angel does all the time:

Husk: I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.

He hides behind his drag queen character to protect himself:

Angel Dust: Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity. Oh, I got the legs. The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits.

In other words, Angel's life is made of fake relationships (porn) and of a fake self (star). This characterization is perfect for a living persona.

Alastor - The radio demon

Bonds - Alastor's radio podcast is made of the voices of his many victims:

Mimzy: No one knew what happened to 'em, until these strange radio broadcasts started going out. All you could hear were screams. Every time an overlord went missing, there'd be a new voice screaming in the broadcast! That's when Alastor revealed himself as the radio demon, and anyone that would mess with him… well, let's just say, his broadcasts never lacked new voices.

He takes others' voices and souls to grow stronger. At the same time, it is implied Alastor has also the potential to amplify one's voice. This is why he symbolically shares his staff with Charlie and helps her go through to the Cannibals:

This fits the shadow, as this part of the self is simply what a character represses, both positive and negative. Similarly, Alastor can:

Manipulate others' insecurities and take advantage of them

Help others realize their hidden potential, so they can grow

Identity - Radio stars perform only through their voices and have no need to show their face in public. In other words, this media lets people hide in shadows. Similarly, Alastor uses the radio-filter to mask his voice:

Alastor: (with absolutely no static) What just happened? notices broken microphone …fuck.

So, Alastor hides everything of himself, both positive and negative, behind a filter. That is why he is a walking shadow.

Angel and Alastor's medias are important also to explore their relationships with Valentino and Vox.

Valentino is a cinema producer and director. He frames himself as the reason of Angel's success, while profitting of the porn star's acting career (producer). At the same time, he wants to control and direct every part of Angel's life (director). He is Angel's abuser both economically and romantically.

Vox is the TV demon and Alastor's rival. In the real world TV and radio fought to affirm themselves as the preferred media and the former eventually won. Similarly, Vox and Alastor's friendship turned into animosity. In the end, Alastor disappeared and Vox took over. Vox is the future. Alastor is a "has been".

At the same time, Valentino and Vox tie into Angel and Alastor's respective archetypes. In particular:

Valentino is the shadow character that complements Angel's persona symbolism

Vox is the persona character that complements Alastor's sadow symbolism

All these ideas are conveyed by two songs.

POISON AND STAYED GONE

Poison and Stayed Gone are similar in how:

They describe Angel and Alastor's relationship with a Vee

They play with medias (cinema, radio and TV)

They use shadow/light symbolism

Poison - Love potion

Poison describes Angel's bond with Valentino through what is basically a pop music video, which starts like this:

Valentino: And… action.

This is fitting, as Valentino controls Angel from behind the scenes, both as a director (public life) and as an abuser (private life). The song itself is a mix of clips that juxtapose porns and musical routines with scenes of sexual and domestic violence. This choice emphasizes the contrast between performance and reality, as well:

On the one hand Angel happily dances on-stage, enjoys drugs and money. On the other hand he screams in agony, while scared and trapped. At the same time, the lines between appearance and truth grow blurried. Angel is supposedly just filming a porn. However, as the song progresses, the violence becomes real and he is in pain as he is recorded. In the end, it becomes difficult to differentiate what's an act from what's not. Just like Angel struggles to separate his work-life from his personal life, pain from pleasure, persona from self:

I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear

He is untrue because he keeps wearing a persona (mask), which is why the song is full of references to the archetype.

Both in its lyrics:

Another lover underneath those flashin' lights Another one of those ruthless nights

And in its visuals:

Before the video Angel's wounds are covered by make-up (a mask)

Angel sparkles on screen (light), while he is being dragged away by Valentino

Meanwhile Valentino is directly associated to the shadow:

He is the beast threathening Angel and using the spider demon's worst instincts against him:

Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice, and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow

As a matter of fact Valentino encourages Angel's dependance on drugs to better control him. This is why "addiction" becomes a metaphor for his and Angel's relationship:

The red smoke Valentino uses to tie Angel to himself may be the secret ingredient behind the Vee's love potion.

Theirs is an abusive bond, a love potion which poisons Angel's life, but is too irresistible to escape.

Stayed Gone - Radio Killed the Video Star

Stayed Gone shows Vox and Alastor's rivalry through a duet that starts with TV:

Vox: Welcome home I'm gonna make you wish That you'd stayed gone Say hello To a new status quo Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn Turn the TV on!

And ends with radio:

Alastor: Let's begin… I'm gonna make you wish That I'd stayed gone Tune on in When I'm done Your status quo Will know its race is run Oh, this will be fun!

An inversion of what happened in the real world, where the superior technology conquered the market. As a matter of fact Vox is supposedly the future, whereas Alastor is "old crap":

Vox: You're looking at the future! He's the shit that comes before that!

And yet, Alastor wins the confrontation. Why is that so? That has to do with Vox and Alastor's respective jungian archetypes:

Vox is the persona, as TV is a medium where you are asked to show your face on screen and to appear in the light

Alastor is the shadow, as radio is a medium that let's you hide:

While he hid in radio We pivoted to video Now his medium is getting bloody rare!

This specific juxtaposition is referenced in the title of the episode itself. As a matter of fact Radio Killed the Video Star is a joke on the famous song Video Killed the Radio Star, whose main thesis was that new technologies like TV would have conquered the show-business and forced performers to expose themselves more. Radio instead is seen as a more safe medium because a person can avoid revealing their appearance. In other words, TV is the persona medium par excellance, while radio is the perfect shadow technology. So, Vox and Alastor's musical number is built on light and shadow imagery:

Vox starts the song speaking of a brand new dawn and switching the TV on, as the room gets full of light.

Alastor ends the song transforming into his demon form and appearing as a big shadow on Vox's monitors.

Vox puts up a self-assured persona, who breaks the moment Alastor reveals the TV demon's secret:

Alastor: And here's the sugar on the cream He asked me to join his team (Vox: Hold on!) I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea! Vox: (glitches) You old-timey prick I'll show you suf-ffering! Alastor: Uh oh, the TV is buffering Vox: (glitches) I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u, you little—! Alastor: I'm afraid you've lost your signal

As a result, there is a black out. That is because symbolically Vox isn't able to accept his repressed emotions. So, the shadow takes over.

In other words:

Vox is the persona, the light, order and the future

Alastor is the shadow, the darkness, chaos and the past

A person can't face their future if they don't solve their past. This is true for Vox, but also for Alastor, who is clearly as angry at Vox as the Vee is at him. The difference is that ironically Vox is slightly more open about his feelings.

This is a big juxtaposition between Angel and Alastor, as well:

Poison is a song where Angel openly sings about his trauma and contradictions. It is one of the most introspective songs in the whole season 1 soundtrack.

Stayed Gone is the closest there is to an Alastor's song and yet it is not his. Vox starts the song and Alastor steals it. It is Vox who exposes himself, whereas Alastor reveals nothing.

In short, both Angel and Alastor repress themselves, but at least Angel can be honest, as he openly sings about his depression and desperation:

Poison, I'm drownin' in poison I'm fillin' up my glass but it's always hollow Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison Wish I had somethin' to live for tomorrow

Alastor instead can't be honest, even as he sings alone:

"Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends"? Sorry to disappoint… That is not where this ends!

This contrast becomes clear in the two characters' reactions to the Hazbin Hotel's Old Wise Man:

Husk: Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.

YOU'RE A LOSER, BABY

Husk offers wisdom to others:

Angel Dust: Oh, I forgot. You're the wise old bartender who's seen it all.

He does so with both Angel:

Husk: Look, if you've got a problem, you're not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle. I should know, I've been looking there a long time.

And Alastor:

Husk: You and I both know Mimzy only shows up when she needs something. That bitch is trouble, and who knows what kind of demon she fucked with to come running to you this time?

However, the two demons react in opposite ways.

Even if initially Angel gets angry at Husk, he eventually understands he and Husk are suffering a similar fate:

Husk: I was an Overlord once, you know. Yeah, and uh… It was nice to have that power. But when you're dealing in souls while also being a gambler, the stakes are pretty high. And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous. So when you're down on your luck, you turn to anything to…Keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. So I know what it's like to… Regret the choices made… And knowin' ya can't take it back.

Even if eventually Alastor follows Husk's advice about Mimzy, he refuses to accept he and Husk are just the same:

Husk: Big talk for someone who's also on a leash.

Husk challenges both Angel and Alastor with the same knowledge: everyone in Hell is a loser. Angel might be a celebrity and Alastor a powerful overlord, but both have screwed up and are paying for their mistakes. If they admit it, though, they might find someone ready to help them, even in Hell:

Angel Dust: You're a loser, baby Husk: A loser, but just maybe if we Both: Eat shit together, things will end up differently

Angel sees a mirror of himself in Husk and chooses to empathize with him:

Angel Dust: I'm a loser, honey A schmoozer and a dummy But at least I know I'm not alone Husk: You're a loser Both: Just like me

In this way, he can start accepting himself and can take off the mask suffocating him.

Alastor is confronted by his most vulnerable part in Husk and chooses to treat him cruelly:

Alastor: If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wretch who dares to question me!

This means he isn't ready to integrate with his shadow. He can't face his most disliked and repressed side.

At the same time, Angel and Alastor's respective interactions with Husk highlight another foiling they have:

Angel is abused and controlled by Valentino. Alastor abuses and controls Husk. In other words Angel is a weak prey, whereas Alastor is a strong predator.

PREDATOR AND PREY

Angel is Valentino's prey, whereas Alastor is a predator of souls. This comparison can be explored in two different ways:

Angel and Alastor's foiling with respectively Vox and Valentino

Angel and Alastor's animal motifs

1 - Dark foils

Angel's conflict is with Valentino and Alastor's is with Vox. However, Angel foils Vox, whereas Alastor foils Valentino. As a matter of fact Angel and Vox are both self-made preys, while Alastor and Valentino are both wannabe predators.

Now, prey might be a little too strong for Vox. Still, what I mean is that both Angel and him are trapped in abusive relationships with Valentino. Sure, Angel's one is particularly bad because the difference in power is bigger:

Valentino: You think she can get you out of work? You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that?

Angel is not only Valentino's romantic interest, but also his employee. Valentino literally owns Angel's soul and can do with him what he pleases.

Vox and Valentino are instead more or less on pair. However, there are hints about their bond being unhealthy:

Vox: 'Oh god. Here I go, Valentino.' Just another fucking day with Val. Hey-hey-hey. Fuck my life.

The Vees' introduction has Valentino violently lashing out and Vox being forced to deal with him. It is obvious their partnership has toxic undertones.

In short, Angel and Vox are sexually and romantically tied to Valentino, but deep down dislike him. And yet, they don't leave him. This happens because both have frail identities they mask with happy and self-assured personas.

So, Angel acts proud of his porn movies, but deep down he is unsure of who he is and believes he isn't strong enough to change:

Valentino: You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn't change. I'll see you soon, baby.

Vox instead behaves as a successful businessman, but he is actually scared he would be nobody without his alliance with Valentino and Velvette:

Alastor: Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without the other Vees!

Angel thinks he can't leave and Vox chooses not too. Still, both are limited by weak senses of self. They force themselves to play the prey.

When it comes to Alastor and Valentino, both are predators of souls. They prey on weaker demons, like Angel and Husk, but they also try to make contracts with stronger beings.

This is shown by the way they interact with Charlie:

Charlie: I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no… tricks or voodoo strings attached. Alastor: So, it's a deal, then? Charlie: Nope! No shaking! No deals! I… hmm… As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.

Valentino: Welcome to my humble sex dungeon. What can I do for such a-- Mm! Lovely specimen! You don't want a role, do you? Because I can make you a star, make us both richer than, well, your papito--

They meet the Princess of Hell and offer to enter partnerships with her, so that they can use her. Obviously Alastor is intended as a gray character, while Valentino as a pitch black one. However, they are pretty similar in how they manipulate others:

Charlie: How? I'll do anything. Alastor: Anything? Then… let's make a deal.

Valentino: Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave.

Alastor takes advantage of Charlie's self-hate and desperation to force her into a pact. Valentino uses drugs to make his employees dependant on him. And yet, they are both far from unstoppable.

Vox: Heh. What are you doing, Val? You're not going over there. Valentino: That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I'm gonna FUCK everyone in that rancid shit hole, I swear to god! Vox: VAL- Hehe. Think about it.

Alastor: it's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry Husker. Who in their right mind would cross me? Husk: I mean, you've been gone a while, and it's not like anybody knows why.

Valentino is impulsive and leaves obvious loopholes in his contracts. Alastor is smarter, but he is not as feared or as strong as he would desire. They like the feeling of power, but their control over others is not as firm. A moment may be all it takes for them to become preys. They give in to violence and behave like beasts because they wanna make sure they stay predators.

Vox and Val are darker versions of Angel and Alastor. They are who the two hazbins might become if they don't fix their flaws:

Vox is a person who chooses to appear strong (persona) over being happy

Val is a slave of his worst instincts (shadow) and has no genuine relationship whatsoever

At the same time, it is clear the dychotomy between prey and predator isn't as cut and dry.

2- Spider and Deer

Angel is a prey and Alastor is a predator. And yet, their animal motifs say otherwise:

Angel is a spider, a predator.

Alastor is a deer, a prey.

Why is that so?

That is because Angel is repressing his most powerful and aggressive side. Alastor instead is hiding his most frail and vulnerable part.

Angel comes from an influent criminal family to the point that his spider motif alludes to their wide web of criminal activities. As a result, he lives a violent life, but chooses to distance himself from it in Hell. According to Word of God, he decides to leave violence and fighting (Anthony) behind to explore sexuality and love (Angel Dust). However, the end result is that he is now trapped in a different way. As a human, he is forced to cultivate his most masculine traits. As a demon, he is valued only for his feminine ones. So, Angel is a porn star, who hides a strong fighter:

Angel Dust: Eat lead, sucka!! I told ya. I can handle myself baby. Angel pulls out 5 extra guns and begins fighting the rest of the demons with Husk tuntil all the shark demons are reduced to blood and guts. Husk: Well, that was something I didn't expect to see. Angel Dust: Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at. Husk: Good to know, cause this guy ain't that bad.

He is a spider tired of his own web, who ends up prisoner of a moth. The challenge is for him to reconcile his two sides (masculine and feminine) and to find people who accept him as a whole person. He must forge a brand new web of healthy and supportive bonds.

Alastor is a radio host and a serial killer who buries his victims in a hunting ground only to be mistaken for a deer and killed. In Hell he chooses to live as he did on Earth to the point he doesn't even change his name. He keeps being both a radio host and a serial killer. He simply fuses his two sides and becomes the Radio Demon. And yet, he is just repeating the same pattern, where he goes from predator (serial killer) to prey (deer). So, he is an overlord preying on overlords, that ends up on the receiving end of a detrimental pact. Symbolically, he hates this part of himself so much that he committs "cannibalism":

He is a deer who eats deers because he can't phatom he might end up on the plate himself. He needs to feel a predator no matter what. And yet, he is a prey deep down and if he could just admit it and ask for help he might change his situation. If he accepted to step into the light and open up he might grow stronger. And yet, he is too proud and too scared. A deer frightened and confused by the headlights, who prefers to hide in shadows, where he feels safe and untouchable.

So, Angel is a prey who hides a predator, while Alastor is a predator who hides a prey. Throughout the season, these repressed parts start emerging.

Positively for Angel:

Angel Dust: Fuck off, Val. Valentino: Excuse me? Angel Dust: I said fuck off! I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain't fuckin' with any of my friends! Valentino: You forget who you're talking to? I own you, bitch. Angel Dust: Yeah, you do, in the studio. And you can do anything you want to me there, just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want. So once again, FUCK. OFF.

He manages to slowly free himself of Val's toxic influence and by the end he stands up to his abuser. The spider is growing stronger and soon the moth won't be a problem.

Negatively for Alastor:

Adam: I'm going to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, CAUSE RADIO IS FUCKING DEAD! Adam flies a few metres into the air and swings his guitar, sending a shockwave towards Alastor. When it dissipates, Alastor has been forced out of his full demon form and his microphone has been snapped in two.

He slowly loses control of his situation to the point that by the end he miscalculates so badly he is almost killed by Adam. The deer can smile as much as he wants, but in the end he can't escape stronger animals.

SAME PROBLEM, OPPOSITE RESOLUTIONS

Angel and Alastor share the same issue. They both can't accept themselves. However, throughout the season their stories go in opposite directions.

Angel makes progress in self-acceptance, so he can start cracking his persona:

Husk: Last day of afterlife, and you're not off snorting a line off some hunk's abs? Angel Dust: Eh, you fucked one cannibal pool boy, you fucked 'em all. Husk: I guess you have changed. Angel Dust: Hey, Charlie said live tonight however we wanted… so pour me a fresh one, and let's get to living!

Alastor refuses to face who he is, so he gets engulfed by the shadow:

It will be interesting to see how their parallel arcs will keep on going in future seasons, how their intertwined conflict and foiling with the Vees will evolve and which role they will have in Charlie's story.

FOUND FAMILY

Angel and Alastor are the first two demons to join the Hazbin Hotel and they grow into members of Charlie's found family:

Alastor: They say the family you choose is better!

In particular:

Angel is set-up to become a sibling-like figure (he clearly projects his feelings for Molly on Charlie)

Alastor is framed as an evil mentor and a parental figure (his foiling with Lucifer makes it obvious)

At the same time, they are meant to challenge Charlie in different ways:

Angel is a protector (angel), who forces Charlie to deal with her pollyanna persona

Alastor is a dangerous manipulator (devil), who has Charlie deal with her repressed shadow

This is made clear in the episodes Masquerade and Hello Rosie:

Charlie: Okay… I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss… That I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel!

In Masquerade Charlie is confronted by Vaggie about how much she repressed her aggressivity. For Angel's sake then Charlie tries to wear an "aggressively kind" persona, but it feels fake and it leads to a mess.

Charlie: flips Susan off FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!!!!!

In Hello Rosie Charlie is overcome by her negative feelings to the point she gives in to Alastor's request to make a deal. However, as the episode goes on, she manages to face her inner emotions and to grow more decisive:

Charlie: It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut That you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces, I guess what I mean to say is For the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne Gotta take charge and defend my only home And although I kinda feel unsteady Now I need to be ready for this

In short, Charlie herself wears a persona and has a strong repressed shadow. Angel and Alastor are the two characters who will help her face these parts of herself, so that she can grow into a powerful Ruler of Hell.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel meta #hh meta #angel dust #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #my meta

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bluedandelion1 · 9 months

Text

Wukong cares about people. Macaque isn't a saint.

Alright, I've wanted to write this for a while, so here I go. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any typos.

I've been watching so many fananimations of LEGO Monkie Kid. They're all gorgeous, top of the top, excellent, chef kiss and I'm glad the fandom seems to be growing every day.

But I HATE how so many people have portrayed Wukong as an asshole who doesn't care about anyone. Love the animations, they're great but I don't think Wukong is the villain people make him out to be.

Now don't get me wrong, Wukong has made many, many, many, mistakes throughout his life. The thing is, people don't seem to realize that while he messed up, his intentions were good! "Yeah, right, then how is he such a bad mentor?" I'm gonna shut you up right there.

When MK first got the staff, he didn't know how to use it, I agree with you. But Wukong is a milennia old stone monkey who has gone through a lot on his life, getting stronger and stronger with each fight.

"Pfft, what about DBK? You can handle it! Consider it a trial"

That's what he tells MK when said boy asks him what to do with DBK, because for Wukong that fight is easy. He then reassures him that with enough confidence in himself he could take him on. He trusted MK since the first moment and even told him to consider it as a trial. He was evaluating MK during his fight to make sure he had picked the right successor.

And just in case and most probably noticing how nervous he was on his first fight, he kept an eye out on him to make sure to intervene in case MK needed help. Wukong already knew that MK was invincible before locking away some of his powers in the second episode, therefore he was confident that he would succeed. And even if he already knew he was going to defeat DBK, he still watched over him to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.

Following this battle, in the first episode "Bad Weather", MK doesn't call for Wukong's help. He's confronting Red Son when suddenly the staff acts on its own and takes him down to the ground and who appears afterwards? The Monkey King himself! Almost as if he had sensed that MK needed some help with defeating Red Son. Almost as if he had been the one to call for the staff so he could talk with his student. Again, he showed up on his own because he cares.

"Then what about that time he abandoned him?"

He didn't abandon him. To abandon someone is to stop supporting them, to give up completely in someone. Monkey King knew that LBD was coming back but he didn't want either MK or his friends to get hurt.

He's used to doing things on his own! I mean, on JTTW Wukong was always sent ahead to see if there were any demons that would kidnap Tripitaka. And even though he warned his companions numerous times that there were demons under the disguise of innocent people, they wouldn't believe him. So why should he tell MK and his friends that there's an enemy approaching? Every time he had warned other people of other threats, they had never believed him, so why should MK be any different?

I think that's one of the reasons why he didn't even try to defend himself when Pigsy snapped at him. Because he's used to taking the blame. What's the point in trying to do something right if you're going to be blamed for everything going wrong, regardless of how much you try to make it okay? He even tries to keep helping MK through his training with the astral projection throughout the whole season!

So, he searched for the map that would lead him to the rings of the Samadhi Fire, knowing full well that he could end up dying.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought if I could somehow get the Samadhi Fire out of you, without hurting you of course, then I could put it inside myself. Then, I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something?"

Let's remember that while it's difficult to hurt Wukong, the Samadhi Fire is one of the powers that could actually kill him. He was willing to risk his life so he'd be able to save not only the whole world, but his friends as well. Do you realize how crazy that sounds? To be willing to give up his own life to save the Earth?

He even says that he wanted try to get the ring out of Mei without hurting her.

Would someone who didn't care about anyone try to make something as painless as possible for the victim? I don't think so.

Alright, let's focus on Macaque now for a bit.

My biggest beef with this guy is that some people seem to paint him as the misunderstood character who never did anything wrong because "Oh, my best friend abandoned me and woe is me!". Yuck.

While Macaque has many good reasons to be angry at Monkey King, that still doesn't give him the right to kidnap and trick MK. It doesn't give him the right to taunt him and make him feel like shit, nor the right to manipulate him and make him think that he's not a good successor.

"Well, you know what that means! There really isn't anything special about you. You're just some kid with a heavy stick!"

Macaque knew that if he hurt MK, eventually Wukong would come out to save him, because he knows that he'll protect him. This is a little theory of mine, but Macaque manipulates shadows, right? Who knows how many times he's watched MK from them? Because I don't think his plan to steal MK's powers was something he thought of in just one minute. No, I'm pretty sure that plan took a while to be thought of.

"Ah, MK. You really are dense, aren't you? You saw a story about a hero who got handed everything? Who didn't have to work for anything? And you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn't care less about his friends. That's you, bud."

He tricked him into sharing his insecurities, knowing full well that MK was vulnerable and stressed out about the whole LBD situation, then blamed him for not caring about his friends. He made him doubt whether he truly cares about his friends or not or whether he was even a good person.

And we all know how hard MK's worked to try to get control of his powers, especially after he lost them when LBD took away his staff. MK can be a lot of things: optimistic, a bit smug at times, a bit forgetful... But if there's one thing I'm sure of is that he worked hard to control his powers. He even asked Wukong to limit them so he could control them better, knowing that it'd be harder but he still did it.

And let's take into account that Wukong apologized to MK for how he acted towards him. Macaque, still to this day, hasn't apologized at all. And yet, he keeps mocking Wukong and saying he's the same old Wukong, while he himself is still stuck in the past.

I get that Macaque is angry at Wukong, I really do. But if he were really so angry against him, maybe he should've brought it to Wukong himself instead of using MK. He isn't a saint. He's made mistakes as well. These two are very complicated characters who have gone through a lot, but neither of them are blameless. Macaque isn't a saint, but he does care about some people. And although Wukong has made many mistakes, that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about other people.

Anyways, to finish it off, as MK once said:

"Uh, you know you two are the same, right?"

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #monkey king #sun wukong #six eared macaque #lmk mk #vent #rant #attempt at character analysis #holy fuck this is long #i didn't expect to write that much #but i got carried away #so #hope you liked it #first post in ages #lemme know what you think #these monkeys need THERAPY AND COMMUNICATION

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flameohotwife · 8 months

Note

So I always thought the canon pairings in AtLA had good writing/development but all the Aang and Mai bashing has made me decide to rewatch the series because shippers of a certain other ship called them "abusive" and Aang sexist. But honestly, I love how Mai calls Zuko out on his jealousy and possessive behavior in "The Beach" and Aang is always supportive of Katara's dreams, even refusing to be trained by Pakku because he's sexist to Katara. I like that Sukka teaches kids watching the show to treat women with respect but also Kataang and Maiko in the examples I mentioned above are also good examples of feminist moments in the show too.

YES! Anon, say it louder for the people in the back! There are so so SO many amazing feminist moments in this show and honestly I loved watching it with my kids (multiple times, haha) for that reason. I don't remember growing up with media that showed SO may instances of how girls/women could stand up for themselves in those types of situations. I love how Katara stood up to Pakku (with Aang's support! His little "Go, Katara!" makes me smile every time) and also how she CONSTANTLY takes boys on in fights, from pirates and Rough Rhinos to the taunting kids that subsequently get frozen where they stand ("oh, a girl has her ways") and anyone who insults Aang. How SHE is the one to defeat Azula in the end. How the WHOLE SHOW starts with her rant against Sokka's sexism. How Suki finally put's Sokka in his place. How Toph had to be played by "a really BUFF guy" in EIP because the Fire Nation couldn't admit to being bested by a tiny, 12-year-old girl. How Mai won't let Zuko treat her like a possession with no agency of her own. How she is the one to save HIM in the end at Boiling Rock (how's that for a damsel in distress?). How Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee are trusted by the Fire Lord to perform tasks even the highest generals can't achieve. How the show is relentlessly turning sexist stereotypes on their heads and making viewers question what they think they know.

Beyond the feminism (which you all probably already know I adore so much), I love that each of the leading boys has learning experiences wrt less-than-ideal behaviors towards girls/women, because in real life boys (and girls, too!) are GOING to make mistakes as they're learning and it's important to show how they can move beyond those mistakes and not forever be defined by them. Zuko learns not to be a possessive asshat like he is in The Beach (at least, we don't see him act that way towards Mai again--he might as well have broken up with her via text and not given her the option to follow him to the "good side," but he never acts possessive again. Baby steps). Aang learns he can't just solve their relationship problems by kissing Katara when she's confused. He gives her space and she clearly thinks he's learned from it by the end (really, by the next episode). Sokka learns not to be sexist and that sometimes girls are going to be stronger/better fighters than he is AND THAT'S OKAY. Good, even! It doesn't make him "less of a man" or anything like that, and we don't hear those sexist ideas come out of his mouth again. ALL of these make great talking points for parents watching the show with their kids, too.

Kids make mistakes. They lean on stereotypes or prior experiences and sometimes that bites them in the butt. AtLA shows that we can teach kids hard lessons. Not only can we fight back against injustice but we can improve ourselves when we've been the ones to mess up. And I really think that's something special.

Thanks for sending in your thoughts, anon! You're so right.

#kataang #maiko #sukka #kataangtag #atla gaang #atla feminism #anon #asks #i know everyone hates EIP but honestly it's my kids' favorite episode and i LOVE the conversations it generates

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linkspooky · 9 months

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What’s your thoughts on teen titans 2005 blackfire?

This is actually a complicated question to answer because I do love the Blackfire we get from the Teen Titans cartoon, but it isn't really my favorite adaptation of her character. Part of the problem is she's only in two episodes. If Starfire got her own season then Blackfire would probably have to be fleshed out more just by necessity.

I guess my main issue boils down to the difference between personality and character depth. Which is something I just made up on the spot but, a character can have a lot of personality but not be a particularly deep character and vise versa. More under the cut.

Cartoon Blackfire is so overflowing with personality that she's an incredibly memorable character despite only appearing in two episodes. The cartoon adaptation does a good job in general of streamlining the more complicated comic book versions into easily recognizable personalities that fit into the animated adaptation, where you still get the gist of the original.

Robin is trying too hard to be Batman, reflective of early Teen Titans Dick Grayson's habit of overworking himself and his insecurity as leader. Starfire's personality focuses on her fish out of water aspects which was a big conflict for her originally. Cyborg's portrayal leans into the disability representation aspect of his narrative and how like an ablest society has taught him to hate himself or think of himself as less than human for his cybernetic prosthetics.

The show communicates these deep ideas in more simplified personalities compared to the comic book counterparts (they have to it's a 20 minute cartoon versus a new teen titans run with over a hundred issues).

Then we get to Blackfire who also has a strong personality that immediately communicates a lot about her character. Number one she is the archetypal big sister who makes her little sister feel inferior about everything, it's like being in middle school when your sister is a high scholer. From Starfire's perspective Blackfire has always been cooler, stronger, more adult. That's something the audience can understand pretty easily because they most likely have big sisters too who seem cool and untouchable.

On top of that though as the episode progresses we learn that Blackfire isn't just making Starfire jealous on accident. Like it could have been an accident sometimes you hang out with a new group of friends and immediately grab the attention away but it's just a misunderstanding you're just trying to integrate yourself into the group and newer people tend to attract more attention. Borrowing your sisters clothes, hanging out with their friends and taking attention away, those could all just be a normal sibling conflict.

Then you find out that Blackfire's doing this on purpose, she's just trying to edge out Starfire and steal her place with her friends. It's not just because she wants to hide out from under the law and stick Starfire with the blame to get the police off her tail, no this is something she constantly does in every interaction with Starfire. She's always insisting that she's the better sister. She's reinforcing this sibling rivalry and always trying to come out on top.

Blackfire constantly antagonizes Starfire and turns everything into a competition, whereas Starfire doesn't see things that way she just sees them as sister. There are times where Blackfire is mentioned offhand and Starfire tells stories of her growing up like (Oh, my sister went through puberty and she turned purple for three days). So the rivalry thing is also pretty clearly one-sided on Blackfire's side. Even Blackfire's attempt to conquer tamaran and marry Starfire off to some ugly alien, it's a pretty clear attempt to just hurl egg in her sister's face.

Blackfire personality-wise also has that bad girl thing going to her. She's the quintessential mean girl to Starfire's naive nice girl. Her introduction episode where she immediately takes away the attention of all of Star's friends by coming off as a cooler version of Starfire, and the night club scene where she's wearing Starfire's clothes, and dancing also calls to mind Faith, Hope and Trick, the BTVS episode where Faith the other slayer is introduced to serve as the main character Buffy's darker foil. The "Bad Slayer" to Buffy's "Good Slayer."

This is what Blackfire is set up to be, she's not only a rival / antagonistic sibling she's supposed to be the "bad sister" to Starfire's "good sister". It's a pretty shallow role but Blackfire has so much personality that she plays it really well.

The show itself doesn't really dig any deeper than the sibling rivalry and the good sister / bad sister aspect, though. Which isn't true for the comics. Which is why I consider cartoon Blackfire a good adaptation of her PERSONALITY, but one lacking in character depth.

What makes comics Blackfire such a fascinating character to me is that she and Starfire are a pretty nuanced breakdown of the golden child / scapegoat dynamic. It's something a lot of adaptations miss out on. Even the debatably canonical Teen Titans GO! spinoff Comic of the show that ran at the same time the show was running kind of misses out on this element in their origins.

"Starfire was more liked because she was kinder and prettier..." this oversimplification that their parents did love all their children equally, Blackfire was just a bad seed / bad child who was unpleasant and hateful from the start. THe archetypal jealous older sister / cain to Starfire's Abel.

That's not how it is in the comics! Blackfire is disabled in the comics, and because of that Starfire's parents heavily favor their abled child. Blackfire's narrative is a disability narrative, she's unable to fly in her world so her parents strip her of her rightful inheritance and treat her far worse than her abled children, for no other reason than she can't fly.

I'm going to borrow heavily from another post about a character with a similiar disability narrative, where they are actively abused by their ableist parent: Toya Todoroki from My Hero Academia.

Touya, as a kid, is undergoing this painful disability, and rather than acknowledge his hand in that - because Endeavor brought him into this world for selfish reasons, without thought or care to the possibility of the Incompatible Outcome - Endeavor just turns him away and refuses to see his pain. He doesn't try to accommodate or mitigate or treat the disability, just pushes the disabled child aside and minimizes how severe the disability is. [...] Endeavor then keeps attempting to have "non disabled" children to "make up for" the disabled one. [...] Touya, however, in all of his grief and his anger, can only see that once again, he is not seen, his suffering didn't matter to his father. His disability is made to be his fault and his failure, which Endeavor, despite having a shrine to him, has cleanly wiped his hands of it. This new child is not disabled; this child is perfect. This is similar to how disabled older siblings may initially fail to emotionally connect to their abled baby siblings, and fail to see the way their parents may hurt or otherwise not nurture them; resentment at what is, real or perceived, better treatment and more displays of love, care, attention, etc builds inside.

Blackfire is born with a disability, and rather than try to accomodate for her, her parents just turn away from her refuse to see her pain and then push her aside for their "non-disabled" children. Starfire is not disabled, Starfire is perfect, and Blackfire knows that their parents treat the two of them differently.

Which is why in her pain and desperation for her parent's attention Blackfire has never truly connected or noticed Starfire, because she's incapable of seeing Starfire as anything other than the "abled" sibling in the household and the "favorite." Which isn't Blackfire or Starfire's fault, it's a conflict that's forced upon them by their parents. If Blackfire's parents had just treated her like a normal child instead of scapegoating her for her disability, Blackfire would have no reason to compete with Starfire.

However, there's an added element to this which makes the Blackfire and Starfire dynamic so good, is that Starfire does not understand that she's the golden child. She thinks their parents are perfectly normal, loving parents, and that Blackfire is the problem. Starfire refuses to ever see that Blackfire was abused and from the start believes that Blackfire just came out of the womb petty and jealous.

To be fair Blackfire does commit sibling abuse when she's younger, and even eventually ends up selling out their entire planet, and her sister to her the enemy. If Starfire resents Blackfire for her actions she's justified, but Starfire reduces Blackfire in her mind to a mustache twirling villain.

It's like if Starfire saw a pair of parents abusing their child in a wheelchair, screaming at him for not being able to walk, Idk, pushing him down the stairs she'd get angry and think they're horrible parents, but she can't see that the behavior is bad in her own parents.

Once again Starfire is a victim of Blackfire's lashing out, but at the same time imagine it from Blackfire's perspective. Imagine knowing that your parents are abusing you, and having no one to confide in because even if you told your sister how you'd felt she'd take her parents side and say "it's your fault, why don't you just try behaving better?"

In the comics themselves Blackfire's intense rivalry with Starfire is really her attempt to "earn" back the love of her parents by making up for the disability she was born with.

It's also sort of ironic - many disabled children (physical, intellectual, mental etc) often continue pushing themselves to achieve their parents dreams- whether it's sports, academics, work, etc - as a way to garner attention or praise or love or "make up" for being a burden/disabled until they collapse in some way - mental health crisis, irreversible body damage, etc.

Blackfire becomes violent, obsessed with strength, because her parents have taught her that there is something wrong with her that she needs up to make up for her inherent weakness by being strong. Blackfire is who she is in reaction to an inherently Ableist society that demonizes her for her disability, and parents who punish her and a sister who (cluelessly) joins in on that.

It's a good golden child and scapegoat dynamic because as awful as Blackfire is as an adult, she didn't have to become that way. She was pointlessly scapegoated as a child, pushed, pushed, and pushed because apparently it was just too hard for her parents to love a disabled child. It's also probably one that a lot of readers don't understand because it's a little hard to swallow the idea that some parents will just treat children as subhuman for having some disability, but then be perfectly capable of loving their abled children.

What makes it such a great one though is that it eventually breaks free from assigning Starfire the hero role, and Blackfire the villain role. One thing I hate about most "Good sibling vs Bad sibling" conflicts is that they'll make the bad sibling the one who got abused. Like, wow the abused sibling that didn't get any outside help is angry and violent... no duh.

As the comic goes on they break out of their roles because Blackfire becomes a much deeper character than she initially was. She's no longer just a power hungry dictator trying to grab a throne that wasn't hers out of jealousy, she eventually wins the throne of Tamaran because she is a better ruler than either Starfire or either of her parents. We learn that the reason she's so motivated isn't because she came out of the womb a little hater, but a genuine patriot.

She's violent and ruthless not because she has to be, but because she genuinely believes it is the only way to accomplish her goals of a better Tamaran. It is really the extreme end of what her parents did to her as children. Blackfire became violent, volatile, and determined because she wanted to earn back the love from her parents. Blackfire decides she has to be strong, cold and a killer because she has to work hard to earn the love of her planet.

Her backstory all ties into these goals, and through that we can see why Blackfire treats Starfire that way. It's not just that Blackfire is jealous of Starfire, but also that Blackfire represses her need for love. Her parents never loved her, so why would Starfire? She spent her entire childhood trying to earn that love and never got it, so she tried to deny that she ever wanted love in the first place.

Blackfire is actively killing off the part of her that desires love from people, that wants a family, because she believes it will make her lose sight of her goals. If that means she ends up turning against her family and fighting Starfire, well, oh well then she never had a family in the first place.

However, she's never completely able to get rid of her desire for familial love which is why she has this weird obsession with Starfire in the first place. Starfire's basically the only one who tried to love Blackfire and have a connection with her, even if Blackfire didn't reciprocate. Which is why Blackfire is simultaneously always trying to put Starfire down, but at the same time she can't let go of Starfire either. I think Blackfire desires that relationship with her sister too, but one it's hard not to be jealous when you see your more abled sibling receiving the love and care you want, and number two Starfire has consistently all their lives sided with Blackfire's abusers over her.

Which is why instead of the sibling relationship they both want, which is to just be normal sisters and equals they're constantly forced to fight against each other. Neither of them actually wants this, it's their parents, it's outside circumstances, and it's their own inability to overcome their emotional flaws that makes them constantly fight. Which is just sad because Starfire has no connection with her younger brother, and her parents are just as ready to sell her out as they were Blackfire so the only person in her biological family who loves her is Blackfire... albeit in a twisted way.

They both miss out on the chance to have a close connection with a person who they grew up with, and will understand a lot of their lives especially because Blackfire and Starfire are actually pretty similiar (the same person in two different fonts) because neither of them can get over this conflict.

It's tragic. They miss out on the chance for a loving sibling relationship that they both want because they can't overcome the cycle of abuse that started with their parents.

Anyway, if you want a show that dissects the golden child and scapegoat dynamic between the two of them better you can watch Season 3 of the HBOMAX TItans Adaptation. Their Starfire and Blackfire are fantastic and the season actually shows the two of them reconciling.

#teen titans meta #teen titans #komand'r #koriand'r #blackfire #starfire #blackfire teen titans #starfire teen titans #new teen titans

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dlwritings · 1 year

Text

99% | Isaac McAdoo

masterlist found here

pairing - Isaac x Hughes!reader word count - 1,758 warnings - !! Ted Lasso Season 3 Episodes 8 and 9 spoilers !! A/N - I feel like no one reads Ted Lasso fics (or at least no one out there is writing them) but I got this thought when I watched the most recent episode and it was going to sit with me if I didn't just write it so here we are

summary - Colin needs Isaac, and as the former's twin and the latter's girlfriend, isn't it your job to step in?

Growing up, your friends did not understand how you and Colin could be so close. Sure, he was your twin, but you two were drastically different, and you knew that, but you couldn’t really explain it. Brother or not -twin or not- Colin was your best friend. You told each other everything.

Still, when he told you he was gay, you’d be lying if you said you saw it coming.

You always thought it was weird when people with gay siblings say, I always knew or I had a feeling. It’s not like Colin had a sign above him that said GAY in big bright letters. He was just Colin.

You were both 16 when he told you. He had gotten scouted by Cardiff City and was understandably nervous. You could see all the signs of his anxiety as you helped him pack to move closer to the club. It seemed like the confession had tumbled out of him, like he shocked himself by telling you. Tears were pooling in his eyes, and you just cocked your head to the side to study him for a moment. Then, you nodded and gave him an upside down smile, and shrugged. “Okay.” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Okay?” he repeated, to which you nodded.

“Yeah,” you said. “Okay. Thanks for telling me.” You tossed him one of his t-shirts to pack away and smiled. “I love you.” A tear fell from his eye, but he brushed it away quickly and smiled wide.

“I love you, too.”

Over the years, your relationship only got stronger. You ended up going to school for sports medicine and became AFC Richmond’s team physician a few years after Colin joined the team. It was nice working so closely with him, and you loved all of the players like family.

Except Isaac.

You couldn’t say you loved him like family because you were in love with him. The two of you started dating about a year into your time working with the team. You felt like your life was pure bliss. Every day you got to work with your brother -who also happened to be your best friend- and your boyfriend. Not many people were that lucky. And for a long time, things were basically perfect.

Sure, Colin had some ups and downs with the team, but with Zava gone and him starting again, things were really looking up.

And then, the hack. And Isaac found out Colin was gay.

Not only did he stop talking to your brother, but he stopped talking to you too. Your own boyfriend was ghosting you. It was like he had this need to distance himself from the whole Hughes family, and while you couldn’t understand it, Colin asked you to leave it alone.

“I don’t like seeing you like this,” you said to him, cross-legged on his bed in front of him. “I know you’re hurt.”

“Of course I’m hurt,” he said with a scoff, “but I’m not going to corner him and force him to talk to me.” He stared absentmindedly across the room. “Isaac could kick my ass if he wanted to.”

“He would never.”

“But he could,” Colin said with a wag of his finger. “And that, little sister, is the problem.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder. “12 minutes, Colin. 12 minutes.” He laughed and shook his head, then grew serious again. “I’m asking you to leave it alone, (Y/N), okay?” he said.

You sighed, your own smile fading, and nodded. “Okay.”

It was hard for you to sit back in silence, because you saw how massive of a prick Isaac was to Colin, on and off the pitch. You wanted to slap him. To tell him to cut it out. To remind him that your brother needed him now more than ever. But you loved Colin, so you kept your mouth shut.

Then came the match against Brighton.

It was clear the team was all out of sorts with Isaac’s head so out of the game. It was hard to watch from the sidelines, and it was even harder to listen to the fans heckling them the entire time. One fan in particular somehow managed to carry his voice over the entire crowd, and you could see in Isaac’s eyes that it was getting to him, especially as they walked off the pitch.

And then, you heard it. The f-slur.

Colin’s shoulders dropped, and Isaac’s head snapped in the direction of the stands. And he lost his shit. He pushed his way through the crowd and charged the heckler, grabbing his shirt in his fist and screaming in his face. When the red card was waved and Roy managed to get him out of the stands, you followed him and the rest of the team back to the locker room.

The room was silent, save for Isaac’s huffing. You tried to lock eyes with Colin, but his head was down. Ted looked around, waiting for someone -presumably Isaac- to speak, but when no one did, he said, “Sure, no, I’ll kick it off. Isaac, what the hell happened?”

His chest heaved as he lifted a finger. “One of our fans said some ignorant shit!”

“Okay,” Ted said, then stammered out, “What’d they say?” Isaac waved a hand dismissively before hanging his head again.

“I heard it,” Sam said. “He said the f-word.” Confusion carried over the team, including Ted himself, who was now so accustomed to the way football fans threw curses around, he didn't understand why that word would bother Isaac.

“Fuck?” Jamie said.

“No,” Sam said. “The other f-word.”

Jamie’s eyes widened. “Oh, fuck.”

Everyone made various noises of understanding, and you finally managed to catch Colin’s gaze. He looked away quickly though.

“If it helps,” Higgins said, “the fan has been removed.” He paused. “And I apologize for my dad.” The team looked at him incredulously, and his smile dropped. “Sorry, not the time for jokes,” he said. “Ugh, read the room, Leslie.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Ted said. “I get it. Um, Isaac, look, what that guy said? Inexcusable, alright? But man-” He chuckled lightly, a little awkwardly. “-your reaction to it ain’t gonna be taught in any Tibetan monasteries anytime soon. You know what I’m saying?”

Isaac looked like he was on the verge of screaming, breaking something, or bursting into tears. And you hated it.

“Yeah, now we’re one man down,” Jan Maas said. The team started to mutter various agreements.

“Yeah, Isaac,” Sam said, “come on, man. It’s nothing we haven’t heard before.”

Colin had heard it his whole life. And that wasn’t fair.

“Exactly,” Jamie said. “It’s just poopy. Ignore it, man.”

And then, Isaac snapped.

“Ignore it?” he shouted, standing up from the bench. “I don’t want to fucking ignore it. What if one of us is gay? Huh?”

You had never heard the locker room so silent.

“We shouldn’t have to deal with this shit!”

The team watched with wide eyes as Isaac ripped off the captain's band, threw it at Sam, and stormed out of the room. Ted looked like he was about to follow him, then Roy held up a hand to stop him, implying he would go, but you were already out the door instead, and every member of AFC Richmond knew not to cross your path when you were on a mission.

You found Isaac in the kit room, crying. He looked up when he heard the door open, and quickly put his head in his hands when he saw it was you. You quietly walked over to him and sat beside him, keeping only a small amount of distance between the two of you. You allowed him to be the first to speak, whenever he was ready.

He sniffed. “Do you know?”

You nodded, your hands folded on your lap. “Yeah. I know. I’ve known for a while.”

He sniffed again and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “He lied to me.”

You sighed and shook your head, putting your hand on his cheek and prompting him to look up at you. “You know I love you,” you told him, “but can you take a step outside of yourself for a second, babes?” His eyebrows furrowed deeply. “Can’t you imagine how scared he is?”

“But it’s me, innit?” he said. “Why’s he scared of me?”

“It’s not about you, Isaac,” you said.

“Then what’s it about?”

“That’s not a question you should be asking me.”

Isaac frowned and dropped his head to his hands again.

“All I’m saying is, there aren’t any openly gay players currently in the premier league,” you reminded him. “Think about what he must be feeling every single day.” You put your hand on his upper back and dragged your nails across his kit gently. “You’re his best friend. He needs you right now.” You kissed his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder. “And you can’t be there for him if you’re kicked off the team and arrested for assault.” He scoffed and shook his head before looking up at you again, a fraction of a smile on his lips.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry for being a dick to your brother.”

You shrugged. “I’m not the one who needs the apology.”

Things happened fast after the game. You didn’t really get to talk to Colin, as badly as you wanted to, but you could tell something was different. He seemed lighter. The team seemed closer. Sure, they had won the game, and Colin had been the main reason, but it felt like more than that. And your suspicions were confirmed when you texted him later that night.

You okay?

Colin: I told the team

(Y/N): Shit. Do you wanna talk about it?

Colin: I’m okay, little sister. They’re good teammates

Before you could respond, he texted you again.

Colin: Isaac came over. Told me what you guys talked about

(Y/N): I’m sorry. I know I swore I wouldn’t interfere

Colin: It’s okay. We talked it out. Everything’s all good

You smiled and typed a fast reply.

(Y/N): I love you

Colin: Love you too

Colin told you later about the speech Ted had given to the team, and as convoluted as it might’ve been, you knew where his heart was. You loved Colin, and while his sexuality didn’t change how much you loved him, you did care. And now, his whole team did too. Especially his best friend.

----- ----- ----- -----

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sinnohanvulpix · 2 months

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Sawyer is neurodivergent and you can't change my mind

Last year for Autism Acceptance Day, my good friend @pikatrainer99 and I did a collab post about Goh and our headcanon of being him autistic. Here's a link to that post if you'd like to check it out:

Today, we'd like to talk about Sawyer from Pokemon XY, another character who we both headcanon as autistic, and who means the world to me.

Let's start with his special interest, Pokemon battles. In all of Sawyer's appearances, we can clearly see his desire to learn as much as he can about battling and to grow stronger. He greatly admires strong trainers like Steven Stone and Ash. I mean, just look at how excited he gets when he hears that Ash had won five badges!

And that's exactly what he does for the rest of the series. He spends so much time studying and training that he manages to catch up to Ash within a just season's worth of episodes! But we'll get to that later.

Before going into detail about his most obvious traits, let's go over some of the traits that we only see for brief moments, starting with his sensory sensitivities. In episode 73, we see him getting visibly overwhelmed when the crowd around him, Ash, and Clemont suddenly starts cheering. We also see him shielding his eyes from Spritzee's Dazzling Gleam attack during his battle with Valerie. Note that he's the only one to react this way to both situations. I don't know about you, but I have yet to meet a single autistic person without some kind of hypersensitivity to noise, bright light, smell, texture, etcetera.

We also see in the following episode that he sometimes unintentionally gets too close to people when he's excited, not noticing their discomfort. We see this after Ash wins his gym battle with Valerie, and Sawyer is so beyond amazed and eager to learn from him that he momentarily forgets how to act "socially appropriately". Ash and his friends are visibly uncomfortable, but of course, because they're all so kind and supportive, they don't judge him for this 🥺

We also see in the first episode of XYZ that he's an amazing artist. And I mean, AMAZING! He can literally draw Squishy the Zygarde Core exactly how it looks in its official artwork, despite only having seen it for the first time that day! While not every autistic person has to have a talent like this, it's definitely not uncommon. Growing up, Pika and I both used to draw a lot, and our drawing skills were one of the few things we took pride in because of how much praise we got for it.

Now let's talk about one of his most adorable traits, which is his habit of saying, "I've gained some EXP!" Clearly he's into video games and enjoys feeling like he's in one, because this is definitely not something you typically hear in real life. This kind of escapism is quite common in autistic people, Pika and I included. In a world that's not built for us, sometimes imagining ourselves in a fictional world that we love can be really comforting and even inspiring in some cases.

You've probably noticed that Sawyer is holding his notebook in all of the last three screenshots, which is also something I'd like to get into. Not only is his notebook a crucial part of his character, but it's also a security item. Pika and I both have security items of our own, namely our phones and our favourite Pokemon plushies, which helps bring us a lot of much-needed comfort. In episode 75, we see just how panicked Sawyer gets when he temporarily loses his notebook, which quickly leads to him becoming depressed.

We know that he values his notebook deeply because it contains all he's learned on his journey, as well as an autograph from Steven Stone. But if you look deeper, it becomes clear that it's even more to him than that. He holds his notebook close to his heart, both metaphorically and literally. He hugs it after receiving approval from Ash (which I'll also get to later) Heck, he even attached his Key Stone to it! He cherishes this notebook like it's his baby, and we find that so adorable and relatable!

Okay, now it's time to get into what's arguably the saddest part of his character: his constant need of approval from others. Pika and I, as well as countless other autistic people, are no strangers to self-doubt, especially in a world where we can't meet a lot of people's expectations. Sawyer likely grew up feeling this way too, which would explain why he's always seeking Ash's approval, since Ash is the one he looks up to the most. Throughout the series, Sawyer's constantly trying desperately to catch up to him. What's even more heartbreaking is that even after he beats Ash, he still needs reassurance from him that he's become strong 🥺

And to make matters worse, he's constantly masking his frustration whenever he fails to beat Ash. The autistic community is definitely no stranger to masking either.

It's not until the episode after his Kalos League battle with Ash when we finally see Sawyer breaking down. All those hours of training to catch up to Ash only led to him losing again in their most important battle yet. He was devastated, but he couldn't show that in front of Ash out of fear of being judged. Once he and Sceptile were alone, however, Sawyer was finally able to let out all the built-up frustration. And oh boy, was it emotional to watch...

But being the resilient trainer he is, Sawyer quickly dried off his tears and reaffirmed his desire to become stronger.

It takes a lot of strength to bounce back from something like this. I also went through a lot of inner turmoil around the time XYZ was airing. But seeing Sawyer bounce back like this inspired me to keep going, and make it through the rest of that year with Sawyer as my main source of comfort.

Needless to say, I see a lot of myself in Sawyer, and so does Pika. Not only is he relatable, but his story is also a great reminder that no matter how bad things feel in the moment, we can always make it out the other side. This is an important message for a lot of people, especially within the autistic community.

Even after all these years, I still find lots of comfort in Sawyer, and I know that'll last for many more years to come 💚

#anipoke #pokeani #trainer sawyer #trainer shota #sawyer pokemon #shota pokemon #autism #autism acceptance #autism headcanon #autistic characters #autistic positivity #this is our headcanon and you cannot change it

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