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#nct renjun fluff
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Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life!
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(new picture bc this is the renjun i imagined in this)
pairing: huang renjun x reader
au/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!AU
characters: huang renjun, f!reader, best friend!jaemin, best friend!haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents
word count: 24.807 words (oh my god)
general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), mentions of erectile dysfunction (???), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, haechan and jaemin talk very vulgarly and do not know boundaries, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, author makes use of their limited knowledge of tarot.
smut warnings: ...hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and brief oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch!renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, mentions of anal, creampie.
synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic, his goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...
a/n: i really love this so much. it's a bit different from what i usually do bc it has a real storyline! it's complicated (not really)! i really poured my heart and soul into this. i love renjun so much. argh! also, why do my endings always feel rushed???? help???
taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09 @babyjenono @noonaisreading
"Why the fuck do they need information on my favorite toys from ages five to ten?" Renjun groans, rubbing his temples before quickly grabbing ahold of his phone to facetime his mother. The ringing sound of his phone had always managed to annoy him, and he wonders whether there'd be a section in the forms where he could put that down.
Staring at himself on his screen, he fixes his brown hair. It had gotten quiet long over the past few weeks since his last haircut. Admittedly, he hasn't had the energy to leave the house, really, thankful for his freelancer job that allows him to work from the confines of his own four walls. Although, he'd thought about growing his hair out anyway.
Finally, his mother answers the phone.
"No, it's Renjun... No, turn the TV down! Down! Lower the volume," his mother shouts, not at him, but at what he could only assume is his father, judging by the Jackie Chan movie playing in the background, that after all these years, he can identify by the sounds only.
"Hello, Junnie," his mother finally addresses him, a gentle smile on her face, a harsh contrast to the annoyed frown she'd thrown at her husband earlier.
"Hey, mom," Renjun says, tapping on his own video so it would fill the screen instead of his mother's.
"How are you doing?"
"Fine, fine. Uh, listen. Do you remember which toys I liked when I was 5?" Renjun finally lets his hair fan over his forehead in peace, getting frustrated that it's not staying in the exact place he wants it to. He's only talking to his mother anyway. That woman'd wiped his ass a few years back, so why bother.
"What an odd question," she grins, briefly getting distracted by something happening behind her phone which she shoos away with her hand and a tight lipped frown that disappears as soon as he lays her eyes back on her son.
"I just need to know. It's really important."
"Okay, let me think. I believe you liked this one thing- this squishy" – her hand squishes the air in front of her phone – "what is it called?"
Renjun can hear his father's voice from behind the phone, "what? Plushie?"
"Yes! You had a plushie that you really liked!"
"A plushie..." Renjun mumbles, filling the letters into the field, "what color?"
"It was a cow."
"So black and white?"
"Those are the usual cow colors."
"Okay. And when I was six?"
"Honey, what do you need this for? Is it still this love calculator thing? You know I read that article about it online-" His mother raises her brows in concern.
"Yes, but I didn't want to say it, because-" Renjun's words get cut off by his father's obnoxiously loud voice as he yanks the phone from his mother's hands, his big head coming into view and Renjun has to immediately roll his eyes.
"That's nonsense, son, and you know it. Anyway, when will you come by again? I bought steak. You know no one can make steak like I do!"
"Yes, I know. I won't be able to make it any time soon, though." Renjun sighs, fingers fiddling with a loose string sneaking its way out of the couch cushion.
"What if I told you we had some fine wine?" – "Stop dragging our son into alcoholism," Renjun's mom finally wins the phone back, but Renjun can still hear his dad's laugh in the background.
Renjun huffs. "So? Year six?"
"Honey, I'm really not sure. You've had a fire truck phase, then enjoyed dinosaurs, then couldn't get enough of those collectable horses. You were a very diverse kid with so many different interests. I don't think you can categorize that or sort it into years. Just say that you liked all kinds of toys–"
"Even girls' toys!" His father laughs.
"Alright," Renjun sighs, pressing his lips tightly together before wishing his mother a good night and ending the call.
"All kinds of toys..." Renjun mutters to no one but himself as he types his answer into the box, shaking his head. He's been filling out these forms for days on end, and slowly he starts believing his parents' words that it's just nonsense.
But it is his only hope.
_____
"A what for what?" Donghyuck asks, mouth as full of burger as Renjun's own, hence why he couldn't understand him the first time. Renjun holds up his hand, chews aggressively, then swallows hard.
"An experiment for finding love," he explains a second time, and the crease in between Donghyuck's eyebrows only seems to be getting deeper with every word that leaves Renjun's lips.
"What the fuck is that?" Donghyuck asks (assumingely, Renjun still can't understand him over the huge bite of patty and bun inside of his mouth).
"You give a whole bunch of information about yourself to the scientists, and they use some software to find your ideal partner," Renjun explains briefly. There's a bit more to it than just that, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Donghyuck's brain while he's eating.
"Pff, okay?" Donghyuck says, a few crumbs of- whatever that had been only mere seconds ago flying out of his mouth and directly onto Renjun's forearm. The older contorts his face in utter disgust, shaking the sticky pieces of food off of his skin.
"You're a pig, Donghyuck," Renjun states, wiping the spot with his napkin because he can still feel Donghyuck's saliva on himself.
"I might be a pig, but at least I got game." Donghyuck finally swallows, grinning proudly with a small piece of lettuce stuck in between his teeth which Renjun has yet to decide telling him about after that insult.
"You don't have 'game'," Renjun spits, fingers motioning quotation marks, "you just have low standards. You'd fuck everything that bends over in front of you."
"That is not true!"
"Need I remind you of what happened with Chenle's mom?"
"She is a milf!" Donghyuck whines, letting his hands weakly fall down onto the table.
"Whatever." Renjun sighs. "Point is: I'm not lacking game, I just want to wait for the right person."
"Alright, two explanations, same outcome: your dick is dry as fuck," Donghyuck nods, pointing his fry at Renjun before he drags it through his vanilla milkshake and stuffs his mouth with it. Renjun presses his lips together, frowning slightly as he imagines the taste of that. "So when are you getting banged?"
"I don't want to get banged, Hyuck," Renjun answers, fingers coming up to rub at his temples. He knows he's lying, Donghyuck knows he's lying, so why did he lie? "There is more to it than sticking my dick up a hole."
"Just any hole? You didn't specify that it should be a pussy?" Donghyuck's eyes widen and he stops his motions. Renjun watches anxiously what a large amount of time Donghyuck's been holding a new fry into his milkshake for.
"I didn't. I don't care."
"You'd shag a dude?!" Donghyuck's shrill voice attracts the eyes of several people sitting around them.
"I don't know why you needed to let everybody know about that," Renjun say through gritted teeth, "but yes. I don't mind."
"I didn't know you were bi," Donghyuck finally sucks the fry into his mouth, then cleans his fingers with his tongue.
"I'm pan."
"Same thing."
Renjun opens his mouth to protest, but he's honestly a little drained to dispute with Donghyuck right now. Wow, what has he become...
"So, when are you finding real love, then?" Donghyuck tries again, empathically sensing that he just scratched at Renjun's teasing-limits and should therefore tone it down a little before he loses a friend.
"I finished filling out the forms a couple of days ago. They have to analyze it and then find someone in their data base. I'm not sure how long it's going to take," Renjun explains, losing a tad of hope with every word at the realization. It's probably going to take forever.
"Okay, then what do you say: one last time going out on pussy hunt with the boys?"
_____
Renjun realizes that this is not one of his proudest moments as he stands leaned against the bar. On the outside, he might look cool and relaxed (or at least that's what he strives for), but he's honestly close to being shit-faced and needs the bar for not losing his balance. Admittedly, it's been some time since Renjun's last time out and he's been a bit nervous.
"This is great, huh?" Chenle says next to him, cool as ever as he leans his back against the bar, keeping his balance with only his forearms. Renjun envies him.
"Totally," Renjun retorts sarcastically, but Chenle doesn't seem to pick up on it.
His other friends had already abandoned him, always with a dirty grin as they got dragged away by a pretty girl. Renjun just can't get behind this whole thing of hook-up culture. Why would you want that when you could- never mind, Renjun understands why people hook up. He really shouldn't judge other people when he's the one who signed up for a love experiment.
"So I heard this is going to be your last time going out with us?" Chenle asks, then takes a sip from his beer bottle. Renjun likes hanging out with Chenle, but the younger's busy schedule doesn't offer much time for friend activities. Chenle is generally laid back and doesn't judge others. Well, not really, he just likes to tease, but generally speaking, he is a good person to open up to.
"Yeah," Renjun answers shortly, not in the right state for a long conversation.
"Because of that love app?" Chenle asks, and Renjun briefly looks over at him to see a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Yeah," Renjun repeats in defeat.
"I think it's cool," Chenle says, corners of his mouth turning downwards making him look impressed, but Renjun doesn't seem convinced. "You know, real love. It's rare these days, I think it's admirable. Really."
"Thank you," Renjun says, a gentle smile on his lips. "Hyuck's been teasing me a lot for it, but I just.. don't like this hook-up culture. I want to settle down."
"I get you, man." Chenle nods, clinking his beer bottle with Renjun's glass that contains the last few drops of a cocktail, then empties his bottle. As if on command, a girl leans against the bar next to him, whispers something into his ear while tugging at his sleeve. A grin forms on Chenle's face before he turns to Renjun.
"Sorry, gotta go. She says she needs Daddy." Chenle winks at Renjun who gives him a combination of a genuine chuckle and an awkward smile in return, then waves at Chenle's figure getting dragged towards the restrooms.
Renjun sighs, then his eyes scan the crowd. It's stuffy, the fog machine on a too high setting making it hard to even make out faces. It also feels hot, no wonder considering the amount of bodies dancing and sweating to the sound of the music, and the entire atmosphere feels too uncomfortable to find someone he could- sleep with. All of his friends are gone anyway, there's no way they could check if he got with someone or not. Sighing once again in defeat, Renjun decides to call it a night. He steadies himself, then tumbles over to the door, pushing it open to be hit by cool air. He immediately feels like he's drank 2 glasses of alcohol less than he actually did.
"Cigarette?"
_____
"This is not something I want to brag about," Renjun says the noon after, his butt placed on a chair in Donghyuck and Jaemin's man cave. It's actually just their shared home, but judging by the looks and smell of it, Renjun cannot not call it a man cave.
"Couldn't get it up?" Jaemin asks, an understanding nod moving his head. The younger looks messed up, respectfully, his hair tousled and eyes still not completely adjusted to being awake, the size of the cup of coffee in his hands an indicator of how he's feeling right now. Donghyuck really doesn't look any better, his body leaned over the table with his forearms supporting his weight.
"What? No!" Renjun shakes his head with a frown. He really loves his friends, but sometimes he wonders why he's even friends with them.
"Did you puke on her?" Donghyuck covers his mouth with his hand. Yeah, Renjun wonders in times like these.
"No."
"Did she puke on you?"
"No! There was no vomit involved," Renjun explains, eyes widened in alarm. This conversation slowly but surely makes him wonder how his friends' hook-ups tend to go... not that he wants to know, considering all this talk about throwing up.
"Then why are you not sharing every single detail?" Jaemin grins, scooting his chair closer to Renjun until he's uncomfortably pressed up against his cheek, reeking like coffee and sleep.
"Because..." Renjun frowns in defeat. "Because she was gone this morning."
"And? What, are your balls itchy?" Donghyuck raises his brows.
"What? Why would my balls be itchy?" Renjun whines, finally peeling his cheek away from Jaemin. "She didn't give me an STD, nor an UTI. W-we used a condom, I think."
"You think?" Donghyuck laughs, straightening his back from being leaned over the table for too long. "Did our Renjunnie hit it raw?"
"Honestly, I don't know why we're talking about this?"
"Did her pussy grip you too tightly to pull out?" Jaemin asks, nodding understandingly while padding his shoulder, "happens to the best of us."
"You're a maker, Renjun," Donghyuck adds.
"First of all, I don't know what that means. Second of all: the sex was fine! Great even-" Renjun tries to defend himself and his hook-up, even though he's not entirely sure why, considering she, well, left without a trace.
"Did she smell good?"
"What, her vagina?"
"Everything."
"Uh- yes? She used perfume, and everything else smelled healthy, I guess. But what I'm trying to say is-"
"Jaemin you bastard! You really have a problem, fucking panty sniffer!" Donghyuck laughs loudly, making Renjun instantly aware of his own hangover.
"Sue me," Jaemin leans back grinning, hands coming up in faux defense.
"It bothers me that she snuck out without even saying anything!" Renjun shouts, palm coming down on the table top with such force that both of his friends jump. It goes silent for a while until Donghyuck opens his mouth once again.
"I understand, man." He leans forwards, placing a palm on Renjun's shoulder. "That was really disrespectful of her." "Not cool," Jaemin chimes in supportively. "But look on the bright side: you'll never have to see her again."
"I guess that's true," Renjun mumbles, "but-"
"But?"
Hesitantly, Renjun looks into Jaemin's face, then into Donghyuck's. "It was really good."
Chaos breaks loose, both of them cheering loudly. Donghyuck begins laughing until his knees hit the floor – an impressive action considering the amount of alcohol his system has to fight – and even Renjun manages to crack a smile.
_____
"Jun, you might wanna see this," Donghyuck proposes hesitantly from the other room. Renjun, already annoyed about having to make his way all over to the living room and abandoning his brewing tea, sighs. What in the world could be important enough to summon him from the kitchen?
"Can't it wait?"
"Believe me when I say you might wanna see this."
Renjun aggressively throws his hands in the air for no one to see, he can't live in peace for even a second with this guy. Still, he stomps over, standing in the door frame with furrowed brows and crossed arms. "I swear if this is some stupid shit again-"
"It's your dating app."
Renjun rolls his eyes, "they've been sending useless messages for the past four months, I don't fucking care."
"It says they found a match." Donghyuck finally looks up from Renjun's phone, eyes wide and mouth shaped into an 'o' form. Renjun's own eyes bulge out at the preposition. "What?!"
He stumbles over, ripping the device from Donghyuck's fingers and holds it close to his face. Indeed, there's the notification. They found them. They found someone!
"Man you should really get your eyes checked if this is how-"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm the happiest man alive!" Renjun beams, smacking Donghyuck in the back of his head without lifting his gaze from the screen. Donghyuck mewls, and it sounds a little too much like a moan, but everybody knows Donghyuck is a little pain slut, so Renjun pays him no mind.
Renjun instead klicks on the notification, the application he hasn't visited in over half a year popping up slowly. There it is. The moment Renjun had anticipated for such a long time. He's a little disappointed that he can't visit this person's profile or anything, but he quickly forgets about it as his eyes land on a button that spells: 'send an invitation'.
"Hyuck, you have to go," Renjun announces, causing Donghyuck to lift his head, gaze drifting away from his own phone screen to look at Renjun perplexed.
"Eh?"
"Leave! I have to get ready," Renjun whines, peeling Donghyuck off of his couch by his wrist. Donghyuck complies balky, but lets himself get pushed out of the front door that Renjun closes in his face immediately, then rushes into the bathroom.
The invitation was sent for tonight, 8 pm. That means he has four hours to get himself and this shit hole he calls his home ready, and the task seems nearly impossible. That is until he finds himself, embarrassingly out of breath, ruffling his hair one last time in front of the mirror by the front door before the doorbell rings. He made it just in time.
His hands shake as he presses the button that opens the door, and a little harder even as he grips the handle to open the door to his apartment.
"Get a grip," he tells himself quietly, then puts on a smile as he listens to the footsteps climbing the staircases. His heart beats rapidly against his ribcage as his eyes focus on where is soulmate is going to appear in the next few seconds.
There, a foot comes into sight, followed by...
"You?!"
Silence.
"Hi?"
"I'm gonna need a minute-"
After splashing cold water in his face in the bathroom and pulling himself together, Renjun comes back to find you sitting on his couch, looking a little nervous, but generally contained and not as bothered by this disaster as Renjun. Sitting down, Renjun watches the arms move slowly over the face of his antique clock that with every passing second omits an obnoxiously loud ticking sound that is only overshadowed by the thick tension hanging in the air. Every once in a while, his gaze traces your form on the farthest end of Renjun's couch, staring blankly at the wall.
"Why did you sneak out?" Renjun puts his thoughts into words, eyebrows scrunched together in a mixture of anger and disappointment.
"It was just a hook-up," you turn your head to whine at him, "I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this?"
"Because it-" Renjun starts, but then decides that he'd much rather not appear pathetic in front of you for moaning about that being his last sexual encounter before formally agreeing to wait for the one.
"Alright," you sigh after a while, "I'm sorry, alright?"
Renjun clears his throat and nods, "okay. Thank you."
"I'd much rather talk about the important things right now," you say, turning your entire body to sit cross-legged on the couch facing Renjun. You take a deep breath before opening your mouth again. "I'm just going to say what everyone here is thinking: the app obviously made a mistake."
Renjun's eyebrows fly upwards as he blinks once, very slowly, "excuse me?"
"Yeah. I mean, no offense, but you're obviously a softie! And I like tall men,-"
"I don't think I'm getting this right, you fucked me before?!"
"Yeah, it was fine for a night, but-"
"And why am I a softie- or, first of all, why is that bad? We both did the experiment, we're both looking for a perfect match, or am I wrong?" Renjun did not even notice getting up from his place on the sofa, or when he started pointing an accusing finger at you.
"I don't know, you take it so serious-"
"And you're being a real bitch right now." Renjun furrows his brows even further as you get up as well to stand right in front of him, your pointer finger pushing into his chest.
"I do not appreciate you calling me that."
"I have done nothing wrong, I cleaned this whole place, and even when I realized that it had to be you, of all people, I was willing to work with it, but right now, I just want to..."
Renjun realizes how close you are to him right now, he can smell your perfume, the same scent you'd worn the other night. Even if it was whole while ago, he still remembers the dusty note that now once again tickles his nostrils, immediately taking him back to that night.
"...kiss you."
Renjun hasn't even closed his mouth before your lips press against his, your passion wild and untamed as your bodies press closer, your hands immediately going to his hair, gently pulling so it stings at his scalp as Renjun's own hands roam over your form to settle on your waist and ass.
His head is clouded, his mind hazy with the feeling of you against him. He's a little embarrassed of your affect on him, immediately growing hard in his pants as soon as you hump yourself against him, content sighs flowing from his mouth into yours.
It's hectic, hands touching everywhere at once all of a sudden, fingers clutching clothing in an attempt to rid the other of them, limbs tangling as Renjun moves the both of you to the nearby bedroom.
You somehow manage to peel yourselves out of your clothes, Renjun can feel how wet you are for him, and though he's so focused on only you, he can't help but comment spitefully, "you prefer tall men, huh?"
"Fuck you," you gasp before kissing him again, and Renjun does not quite know how to feel about this, maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, but he assumes that this type of behavior should not make his tummy fill with butterflies. It still does.
Renjun lines himself up with your hole, then thrusts forward. He doesn't take his time to prep you like last time, he finds that if you want to act like a bitch, you should be treated like one. He's also very perplexed that he's thinking like this, he never has, but he guesses you bring this side out in him.
You cry out in pure bliss as he stretches your walls that are struggling to take his size, your eyes rolling back at the overwhelming pleasure. Renjun's thrusts are quick and hard, ramming his tip against your spot in a way that makes you see stars and your thighs shiver around his waist.
Your orgasm approaches fast, almost embarrassingly fast considering you made such a fuss earlier, Renjun admits to himself, feeling proud as he pushes you over the edge with ease. The moans tumbling from your lips are nothing short of pornographic, and Renjun does not have it in him to shut you up for the sake of his neighbors.
Instead, he pulls out, then quickly replaces his cock with his fingers, pressing them upwards repeatedly to tickle another quick high out of you. His eyes are on you the entire time while yours are closed, assumingely overwhelmed with how good he's making you feel.
Once you writhe from overstimulation, Renjun removes his fingers as well, licking a fat stripe over your cunt before turning you around and pressing your face into the sheets.
"I'll show you how much of a softie I can be," he grunts before pushing in once again, his hand pressing against the back of your head as he crashes his hips into yours with such force that the bed frame penetrates imprints into his wall. Your moans are muffled, and Renjun decides that he'd much rather have his neighbors hear how good of a fuck he is, so he grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks you up.
"Oh God," you whine, back arching beautifully to take even more of him, and Renjun suppresses a coy grin at the fact that he's able to destroy you that easily.
"Hm? Not so soft now, huh?"
"I'm gonna cum again-" you announce, hands gripping the sheets as you try to ground yourself, to just take and take and take what Renjun gives you, and soon after he can feel you clench around him as another orgasm takes over you, leaving you weak and shaky.
"Too much?"
You shake your head, but Renjun pulls out nevertheless. "Get on your knees, I want you to suck me off."
Never in his life has Renjun seen someone hurry off a bed so eagerly. You open your mouth compliantly, like a well trained slut, and Renjun can simply push his cock between your lips and fuck your mouth. "Tap my leg when I should stop."
You nod quickly, then relax your jaw for him to use you. Renjun loves this sight of you. He remembers what you looked like when you came over, with pretty makeup and perfectly styled hair – and now everything's ruined, your hair messy and tangled, your makeup smudged by a mixture of tears and spit. Renjun loves how hazily your eyelids flutter as you try to look up at him, eyes seemingly focussing and un-focussing, more tears welling up in your eyes before they trickle down your cheeks, spit coating your chin as you gag a little.
Renjun believes he could get used to this.
_____
The sun tickling the tip of his nose is what wakes him up the next morning. With a groan, he tries to adjust his eyes to the bright light shining into his bedroom – the downside of having a bedroom that faces east. Once he realizes where he is, the memories of last night come flying back to him. He has to find his arms to be much emptier than when he went to bed the night before. He sighs, a hand coming up to run over his face. Honestly, he didn't even have to check the rest of his home to know that you snuck out again.
A mug filled with coffee in hand, Renjun lets out a shaky sigh. It stings, he's not going to lie, but maybe you have your reasons, maybe something came up, maybe you need time to think. Or maybe you just hate him and only want to use his desperate state of romanticism and body for your selfish nature.
This assumption is neither proven to be false nor correct when his doorbell rings a couple of months later. In the meantime, Renjun had done nothing but sulk, try to pull himself together, work non-stop to get you out of his mind, realized it's not working and went back to sulking, then the cycle repeated itself. He hadn't even updated his friends about the encounter for a lack of energy, basically. His apartment is a mess, empty to half-empty boxes of takeout littered all over the place, bottles with a last sip left left and right that Renjun trips over every few hours only to curse loudly and do nothing to clean them up afterwards. Basically, he's living like Donghyuck and Jaemin right now.
His feet drag him to the door. "Hello?"
"They're threatening me."
Renjun, without even having heard it twice through the speaker, recognizes your voice immediately. And before he knows it, his finger presses the button that opens the door with a buzzing sound. He curses at himself, panic arising as he listens to your heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs to his apartment. Once you step into sight, Renjun loses his ability to talk. Why do you have to look gorgeous? Why does he want to get on his knees and eat you out immediately? Why is he so weak?
You take fast steps and invite yourself into Renjun's home as he does nothing but take a few careful steps back. You then lock the door as you check the hallway behind the door through the peephole for any potential threats.
"Who?" Renjun finally gets out.
"The app developers," you mumble before retrieving from the door.
"Why?"
"They know I left, now they keep threatening me."
"I doubt that," Renjun frowns.
"Look!" You push your phone into his hands. Renjun curiously scans the last notifications the app sent you.
How did it go? Did you find your soulmate with us? Please rate us in the app store.
Hey! We found your soulmate! Now all you need to do is rate this experience.
Your soulmate is happy to have you. Thank you for working with us, please leave a rating in the app store.
Rate your love experience now!
Renjun snorts.
"What?" You watch him with furrowed brows and crossed arms.
"These are hardly threats."
"They just keep coming, this has to be a threat. Haven't you gotten any?"
"I don't know, I don't have the app anymore," Renjun mumbles.
"Right..." you say, finally taking a first look around the place. "And what happened here?"
"Stop judging me!" Renjun turns his back to you while crossing his arms. Of course he hadn't had the time to deep clean his apartment when he was busy sulking and writhing in self-pity for the past months. And, to be fair, it was all your fault!
"Alright, maybe they're not threats, per-se. They still made me feel bad..."
"Oh?" Renjun turns back around, eyebrows raised. "It has a heart?"
"Ha-ha," you deadpan, but Renjun can't suppress a smile as he makes his way over to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink, and you kicking your shoes off, and then following him on track like a lost puppy.
Renjun opens the fridge and pours himself a glass of the fruity water he's prepared a few hours ago (not because he felt like it, only because he was afraid the remaining fruit his mom brought over because she coincidentally happened to be in town a few days ago would go bad if he didn't use them). He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a refreshing sip.
You watch him set the glass down on the counter. "Aren't you going to ask me if I want something?"
With a hint of playfulness that he does not want to give away under any circumstances, Renjun scoffs, "yeah, as if I'm going to be nice to you after the stunt you pulled. Twice." Renjun holds up two of his fingers to highlight his words.
Your brows furrow as you open your mouth to complain, but you must have realized he's right, so you shut it again, turning into a cute pout instead. "I'm sorry. It's just- it's hard-" You give up and press your lips together tightly. "Can we- start over?"
"Oh? From what point?" Renjun raises his brows, lifting his hand to count with his fingers, "when you abandoned me the first time? When you insulted me? Or when I fucked you so good you couldn't stop drooling on the sheets?" He smiles in victory at your shocked expression. "To which I could also add: the first or the second time." He wiggles two fingers in front of your face with a smug smirk.
"I wish I could say this behavior of yours irritates me to the point where I just want to give up, but you're kind of hot looking all messed up and heart-broken because of me while sporting that victorious grin," you say and step towards him.
"Ah, really?" Renjun's confident shell starts to crumble.
"Why don't we start from the beginning?" You stop right in front of him, and Renjun has to press his ass against the counter to keep that little distance that allows him to breathe. Amused, the corner of your mouth twitches, then you extend your hand as your gaze bores into his.
"Hi, my name is ____ and I would love to suck your cock."
Renjun hates the way his breath hitches as he carefully shakes your hand for a reason he is not aware of. "I-I'm Renjun," he simply says, and the playful smirk on your face widens as you pull your hand out of his to lay atop of the waistband of his sweatpants. Renjun hates it even more that he feels his blood that just milliseconds ago thumbed through his ears now rushing downwards awakening his cock.
"Do you want me to suck you off?" Your voice is bittersweet as you bat your lashes at Renjun who gulps before breathing out a "yeah".
You smile, fingers untying his sweatpants before you push your hand inside to feel him up. "So hard, all for me? What a good boy you are, Renjun."
Renjun bites down on his lip, face contorting in pleasure as he feels you feel him up and down, his hips push forward involuntarily. Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just be- less enticing, less hot, less able to turn his brain to complete mush every time he sees you? Renjun knows where this is going, you're going to give him the best, most amazing, jaw-dropping, eye-rolling, toe-curling head of his life, and then you're going to walk out that door as if there aren't still drops of Renjun's cum trickling down your esophagus.
Just as your hands leave the inside of his pants to pull them down his legs, Renjun grabs ahold of your wrists. Your eyes widen in surprise.
"No," Renjun catches your gaze that holds a whole lot of insecurities in them, or so he assumes. "I am not letting you touch me until I know you won't leave me again."
The look in your eyes tells him that something about this interaction hit a nerve very deep down, so he tries to lighten the mood with a light joke and a careful smile. "At least take me out on a date before you use me."
Jackpot, he realizes, as you scoff and pull your wrists from his grasp. "Alrighty then, what do you want to eat?"
_____
The wideness of his eyes expands exponentially with every word you tell the guy behind the counter of the nearest Subway who prepares your sandwich. He could mouth along your order because, even up until the sauce, it's identical with his. Hence, all he tells the guy once he's finished is "the same". You seem not to notice – or care – and the quick walk back home is quiet despite the tornados of thoughts winding through Renjun's mind. Is this how the app worked? Match people with similar taste in food? Though he doesn't remember putting his Subway order in when submitting his forms.
Arriving at home, you ask Renjun to put on a show to watch while eating, and when he plays his all time favorite, Modern Family, you announce that that's your favorite as well.
Renjun watches, half in awe and half scared for his life, as you practically inhale the foot-long sandwich in front of his eyes, and he feels his heart thumb just a little faster seeing you all domestic like this; not dolled up, and not with his cum dripping from some part of your body, just you being you. Apparently, he likes you more than he likes to admit, he's afraid.
"I think I'm going to delete that app as well," you announce as you wipe the remaining sauce and crumbs from the corners of your mouth.
"How so?"
"I have you now, don't I?" You shrug, placing your plate on the coffee table in front of the couch. Renjun's heart jumps at your words, then sighs and happily sinks deeper into the comfort of his chest.
"Does that mean- I mean-" But he is shushed by your finger pressing against his lips, that makes his eyes widen.
"Shh, baby boy, don't ruin it." You say, then get up.
"Where are you going?"
"Will you calm down? I just want to pee!" You whine, then march off towards his bathroom, and Renjun wants to punch himself in the face for watching you go with a smitten gaze, but he can't help staring. You're just too gorgeous. He loves the way you're so relaxed and funny, sighing lovingly as he admires your beauty coming back from the restroom to sit down next to him with a thud and a weirded out expression on your face.
"Why are you looking like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I just took your virginity in a field of dandelions."
"I am not!"
"Whatever. Can we fuck now?"
The little hearts circling around Renjun's heart – metaphorically – shatter. "Are you being serious?"
"I hate to admit this too, but you're pretty good at what you're doing."
"I am more than just a toy for you to use!" Renjun argues, setting his plate down on the coffee table next to yours. Anger is visibly written all over his face, and you seem to finally get the hint that he's serious about this.
"Alright, then. What do you wanna do instead? Cuddle?!" You suggest, and although it does not seem like this is a legitimate offer, Renjun takes it.
"Yeah, for example!"
And that's how your back ends up pressed to his front as you watch TV, not without a last roll of your eyes, of course, and while Renjun affectionately plays with your hair, he has time to relish in the feeling of being loved for the first time since forever, even if he had to threaten you with deprivation of sex. Later, you even fall asleep in his arms, in his bed, and when he wakes up the next morning, you are snoring soundly besides him.
_____
"Do you want to meet my friends?" Renjun asks casually over the steam evaporating from the hot coffee mugs on the breakfast table. You have half a Baozi in your mouth, and Renjun can only guess your next words as they come out.
"What? Why? Are we getting married?" He assumes you say.
"No, I just thought, you know, since things were getting serious-"
"We are?!" You muffle with wide eyes.
Over the past days that you'd spent at Renjun's place without missing a single day (except for the 4 hours when you went to get your stuff... 4 hours that drove Renjun insane with fear that you wouldn't return), Renjun kind of started to wonder what it is that you're doing for a living that you can just disappear like that without anyone wondering where you are, but he noticed that you do not like to talk much about yourself. All he knows that your interests and taste are, quite frankly, scarily similar to his own. He assumes that you are just careful when it comes to opening up to people, so he is more than thrilled when he finds you next to him every single morning and decides that there will be a time and place for you to bond over deep talk.
"Calm down, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that we've been hanging out a lot and I think it would be... fun?" Renjun suggests carefully. A weight lifts off his heart as your wide eyes shrink back to their normal size and you take your time to chew and swallow before your answer.
"Okay." And then you stuff the other half of the steamed bun into your mouth.
"Great! I'll text them!"
"Today?!"
"We really have to stop talking about this while we eat."
"It's okay, do it whenever, honestly." But only muffled sounds and a few crumbs come out.
"What?"
You roll your eyes dramatically, then point yourself.
"You?"
You nod, then point to Renjun. "Me?"
Then you squiggle your pointer and forefinger in a way that resembles a pair of legs – "go?" – you nod, then point downwards – "here?" – you shake your head – "today?" – you nod frantically and press your pointer finger to your thumb – "okay?"
You finally swallow. "Man, I said it's okay if we go today."
"That was absolutely unnecessary. Now go get ready, I'll text them."
_____
"Where is your other half?"
"Probably inside of someone," Donghyuck says about the lack of Jaemin at the table, but his eyes are intensely focused on you. You on the other hand seem to have found great interest in your fingernails and refuse to take your eyes off of them. "Yo, is she shy or something?"
"I'm not," you say, your eyes snapping up to gaze at Donghyuck who looks a little taken aback. You smile sweetly, then reach over the table to shake his hand. "I'm sorry, I was just a little distracted. Hey, I'm the girl that Renjun fucks."
Renjun chokes on his own spit, and Donghyuck snorts loudly. You lean against the backrest of the McDonald's seat and grab Renjun's hand to hold. Renjun, finally recovered from his near-death-experience, can't believe what's happening as his eyes zone in to where your fingers intertwine with his. It even makes him miss that that was a complete lie since the no-sex-until-i-know-you-won't-leave-thing is still on the table.
"So, how is he? In bed, I mean?" Donghyuck folds his hands beneath his chin and leans forward interestedly.
"Oh, he's great, really! He doesn't look like it, but he has a lot of stamina. And, to be fair, he's not the biggest, but it gets the job done nicely, I especially love it when he-"
"Can we not talk about my dick in a McDonald's?! Please?!"
"Oop, looks like we hit a sore spot-" Donghyuck remarks.
"I am not insecure about- you know what? Fuck you. Go get the food, it's ready," Renjun snaps and pushes the receipt with the pick up number on it into Donghyuck's hand who throws you another knowing look before strolling off to get the food.
"I will not apologize for-"
"You're holding my hand," Renjun states.
"What?" Your eyebrows contort in confusion.
"My hand, you're holding it," Renjun says, lifting both of your hands into your line of sight to prove his point.
"Yeah, so?"
"I like that."
A genuine smile spreads over your face and you bite your lip, maybe to suppress it, but Renjun saw it, and look down at your lap. Donghyuck appears again, tray in hand, and Renjun would've missed your quiet whisper of "he likes that" if his entire world wasn't revolving around you right now.
"What are we talking about?" Donghyuck grins as he slides back onto his seat, immediately pulling a fry out of the box and dunking it in his milkshake. Renjun, still in awe that you're holding his hand, immediately notices how your face contorts in disgust.
"Why the fuck are you doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Dipping your fry."
Renjun watches with heart-shaped eyes how Donghyuck's mouth opens and closes for a lack of a proper response, because – shit – that is exactly what he's been thinking for the past five years.
"Because I like it?"
"Alright," you shrug, then attend to your cheeseburger. Renjun mirrors your action, lifting the top half of the bun to peel the single slice of pickle off the surface before sticking the burger back together, not noticing how you do the exact same thing until Donghyuck points it out.
"So? That's what it's like when you found a match. Another great advantage is having only one partner whom you engage in sexual activities with. Ah, by the way, how is your itchy sack?"
"Good one, babe," you compliment as Donghyuck's face falls onto his BigMac, and Renjun could not feel any better at that exact moment.
"Sorry I'm late!" The voice of no other than Na Jaemin appears behind Renjun only to reveal said man seconds later as he flops down next to Donghyuck, forcing him to squeeze further against the wall. Donghyuck complains, but no one pays him any mind.
A heavy grin adorns Jaemin's face, an expression Renjun's grown to know like the back of his own hand over the past years. Jaemin's post orgasm glow is so bright and blinding that Renjun's sure he must have just gotten a blowjob in the McDonald's bathroom. His tongue slurps parts of his McFlurry off his spoon. Renjun watches as Jaemin's gaze runs over to you, and as if someone's flipped a switch inside him, Jaemin's smile drops. If the sudden silence wasn't so ear numbing, one would've heard it smash to the ground and shatter into pieces. Even Donghyuck has stopped munching on his food to scan the situation, the end of a fry sticking out from between his lips.
Renjun's heart stops, then starts thumping up his throat as he slowly turns his head towards you, and this exact process repeats itself as he sees how pale you've gotten. Your eyes are trained on Jaemin, and Renjun can see you gulp once before you suddenly get up, the legs of the chair disgustingly scratching over the floor, and leave the fast food restaurant with hurried steps.
Despite desperately wanting to know what the fuck just happened, Renjun hastily gets up to run after you, calling out your name, once, twice, but when he reaches the doors, panting breath creating soft clouds in the cool air, you're out of sight.
_____
Ah, what a great morning. That is what Renjun would have thought if it was opposite day. He is devastated. You are nowhere to be found, the apartment empty since he returned and he still regrets not asking for your number sometime during the past days, though there was no need since you'd spend all your time at his place anyway. But now you're not. You're gone, and Jaemin refuses to let him in on what exactly happened between the two of you that made you leave the place in a hurry, only for Renjun to find Jaemin gone as well as soon as he returned. He only found Donghyuck sitting at the table, dragging his last fry through the milkshake. They finished their meal in silence.
As the doorbell rings, Renjun falls off the couch, scrambles up and runs to answer the door. It's not you, though, it's Donghyuck, who for once decided to be a good friend and check in on Renjun, even though the latter would rather just lie down in a puddle of his own tears, and sob.
"I'm sorry, man," Donghyuck says, dragging Renjun into his arms for comfort. Renjun simply sighs. The warmth of Donghyuck's hug does actually help ease some of the tension in his heart, and when they part, Renjun invites Donghyuck in for some tea.
"Do you know what happened?" Renjun asks as he hands Donghyuck his mug.
"Not a clue. Jaemin hasn't even been home. I have some theories, though." Donghyuck takes a sip and curses after burning his tongue.
"That are?" Renjun is actually relieved to have someone else break their brain over this situation that is not him.
"Number one: Jaemin is her lost brother."
Renjun blinks.
"Number two: Jaemin fucked her mother and destroyed her parent's marriage."
Renjun raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, number three: Jaemin fucked her mother and is her father."
Renjun raises a hand to slap him.
"Okay, okay! Sorry. Number four, and this actually goes two ways. Four point one: They fucked and she is the one girl that broke Jaemin's heart and made him this way."
Renjun does not like the sound of that at all.
"Four point two: They fucked and Jaemin broke her heart and that's why she can't commit."
"I hate all of your theories with my entire being," Renjun admits, "Do you have one that does not mean something bad?"
"Um..." Donghyuck thinks for a while that, admittedly, lasts too long for Renjun to relax, "Jaemin once saved her cat and she never got the chance to thank him because- he fucked her mom- I'M SORRY that's all I can think of."
Renjun sighs. "I don't know. I just wish she would care about me enough to just talk to me, you know?"
"I don't think that's the problem," Donghyuck suggests and Renjun looks away from his steaming mug and at Donghyuck instead. "I think she cares about you a lot, but there seems to be some sort of past trauma that makes it hard for her. I mean, I'm not a specialist since you" – a glaring Donghyuck points an accusing finger at Renjun – "refuse to update me about every little thing like I asked you to, but I don't think this has as much to do with you as you think."
"I've never thought about it that way," Renjun admits, and a little weight drops off his heart at the fact that he is possibly not at fault, and neither are you. "Thank you, Hyuck, honestly."
"No biggie." Donghyuck shrugs with a smug smirk. "You can pay me back in kind."
"What do you mean?"
"A smooch." Donghyuck puckers his lips, but at the same time, the doorbell rings a second time that day, causing Renjun to jump and run towards the obnoxious sound. This time, it really is you.
"Can we talk?" You ask as you stand in his doorway, and Renjun can't do anything but blink in awe because, honestly? He thought he'd never see you again.
"Um, not to be rude, but we're kind of in the middle of something here," Donghyuck says with his lips still puckered for Renjun to kiss. Renjun, without taking his eyes off of you in case you'd vaporize once he looked away for even a split second, ushers Donghyuck to leave since, "he was on his way out, actually."
Not without throwing a little tantrum, Donghyuck lets himself get pushed out of Renjun's apartment. Renjun whispers another 'thank you' and blows him a kiss before closing the door in Donghyuck's face.
_____
"I didn't know you started smoking again," Renjun comments as you sit on his sad excuse of a balcony.
"This is for the vibe," you say, and blow the smoke into the air. "And maybe I had a drink."
"Okay."
Silence.
"This is really scary for me," you admit, and Renjun assumes that you're talking about opening up.
"You can trust me, I'm not going anywhere," Renjun assures, placing a careful arm around your waist and a kiss to your temple.
"Jaemin was my first love."
Renjun gulps. He feels a little part of his heart break off and shatter against his ribcage, leaving a stinging pain behind. Great, so you know Jaemin, and not only that, he happened to be the first one you've ever let into your heart. Renjun assumes that it's been a couple of years since then, but knowing Jaemin, he couldn't possibly be the best first love, or a good one even. Don't get him wrong, he dearly loves Jaemin – in a platonic way – but the way he treats girls is not something he should be as proud of as he is. But maybe he hasn't always been like this. Maybe you were the one to make him like this.
"Go on," Renjun finally coughs out. His hands feel a little shaky, maybe even a little sweaty, and he feels the need to wrap them around the metal railing separating him from free falling to his death.
"It was back in school. I fell for him immediately. He made me feel like the only girl in the world."
Renjun dares to look over at you to watch you sigh, dragging on your cigarette once again. You look incredibly pained, and as much as he wants you to shut up because it seems to be hurting not only him, but you as well, he needs to know.
"Well, that was until he took my virginity. Never saw him again after that until," you pause, clear your throat and take a deep breath and continue pressed with your eyes closed, "until today."
Renjun takes a minute to calm down his mind from running thoughts on overspeed. "I'm- so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could say he's not like that anymore, but... well, his moral compass enhanced a little... um..." Renjun removes his hands from the railing, wiping them on his jeans, then turns to you. "Look, I can see why you wouldn't want to hang out w-"
"No," you interrupt him, dragging on your cigarette once more before carelessly flicking the bud onto the streets below, then you turn to him, take a careful step forward and take his hands into yours. "I trust you. I want you to be the right one. I want you to break this pattern, I want you to change my future."
Renjun does not know how to respond. There's a part of him that wants to pay Jaemin a visit and punch him, but he knows better than to start a physical fight with Na Jaemin, the local gym's best customer. And besides, what would it matter? It's not like violence would change anything. "May I hug you?"
You nod, and Renjun wraps his arms around you to pull you into his chest. His chin rests in the crook of your neck, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo, and he is not sure whether it's a good thing that he falls for you more and more every second he spends with you.
_____
Renjun decided that it would be best not to see Jaemin for some time, mostly in favor of his own well being considering that Jaemin would dominate him if it ever came to a physical confrontation. Instead, he focuses his energy on making you feel loved and protected, and makes sure he never gives you the impression of leaving you. He mostly enjoys the quiet nights with you, creating as much physical contact as possible without being uncomfortable, and freely talking into the rise of the sun.
Renjun learned that it's only been you and your mom, most of the time, since your dad cheated on her when you were still a child. Then, as soon as you turned eighteen and got your first real job, your mother left the country. Not without saying goodbye, but apparently, she made it clear that she didn't want to stay in contact. Ever since, it's only been you. You'd always been by yourself, having to care for yourself, working hard to make enough money to be able to afford rent and food. In a way, you had raised yourself to be independent, and your past encounter with Jaemin must have just intensified your bias not to trust men after what your father did to your mother.
Still, that's all Renjun knows about you. And after 3 months of living together, he kind of wishes to know where you live – well, when you're not living with him – what you do for a job, if you have any friends for him to meet, but all he knows is your zodiac sign. Although, he calms himself down by telling himself that you need time to build up trust. After everything that's happened to you, Renjun is the last person wanting to pressure you.
It's only that one particular conversation with his friend Donghyuck he doesn't seem to be able to let go.
"How long have you been living together?" Donghyuck asked as he ripped a small piece off of the bread in his hand to throw it into the pile of ducks gathered in front of them at the pond at the local park. Donghyuck loves to go there to feed the ducks, and Renjun almost found it cute until Donghyuck told him the real reason behind his regular visits to feed the ducks at the pond: picking up girls.
Donghyuck swears that this is the perfect way to get a "chick" (his words, not Renjun's) to fall for you. Either they love this sweet, domestic side of a man who is soft enough to go feed ducks in his spare time which inevitably makes him boyfriend material, or they're there with their kids and- Renjun can't recall how this was different from the first thing. He only remembers thinking that Donghyuck has a weird obsession with older women, and the freudian curiosity in Renjun kind of pushes him to find out more about what that's about. Maybe another time.
"Almost three months," Renjun smiled widely, ready to spill information about all the great memories he had made with you over the past 11 weeks, like when he accidentally sent the pizza delivery guy to the wrong address or when the both of you giggled too loudly at a YouTube video until his downstairs neighbor knocked at his door and begged for you to shut up (admittedly, there's not much going on), but Donghyuck interrupted him with his hand hitting Renjun square in his solar plexus.
"Three months?! Woah, get it champ! How often do you do it?" Donghyuck asked, completely ignoring the way Renjun had to fight not to double over and slide face forward into the pond.
"We-" Renjun coughed and was finally able to stand up straight again. "We actually don't have sex at all."
In hindsight, Renjun's knowledge of physics and anatomy make him doubt the reaction he remembers, but he vividly recalls Donghyuck's eyes to drive out of his skull as he jumped about 3 meters into the air. Summarized: Donghyuck was a little surprised!
"Um, well, I didn't think it would hit you this early, but there are ways, man." Donghyuck patted Renjun's shoulder brotherly. "I still have a few pills at home if you want to try them. I get them from this one guy, and they're worth every penny, let me tell you-"
"I do not suffer from erectile disfunction," Renjun clarified and Donghyuck quickly shut his mouth, blinked a few times, then began to defend himself about how he doesn't need them to get hard, just to stay hard longer or whatever.
"Anyway," Renjun side-eyed Donghyuck as he finally stopped talking, "I just... don't want her to leave me again."
"Ah, that's how the land lies," Donghyuck grinned, "but buddy, it's been months, don't you miss it?"
"Not really," Renjun lied without cause.
"Don't you miss the way it feels?" Donghyuck leaned closer, warm breath tickling Renjun's ear and neck, his voice getting whiney and full of lust as he explained the warm, wet feeling of a-
"Okay, maybe I do!" Renjun said in defeat, holding onto Donghyuck's hands to stop them for making lewd gestures.
"Then there's nothing stopping you. Well, except for the fact that it's very weird how she just lives with you. Doesn't she have a job? Does she pay rent?" Donghyuck frowned at Renjun with raised eyebrows.
Renjun squinted his eyes at him, frowning as well. "Where is this coming from?!"
"I'm just saying, you should ask her about that." Donghyuck shrugged and poured the remaining bread crumbs from his paper bag onto the ground, causing ducks to zoom out of the water and gather around their feet.
"I don't want to pressure her. You know how hard it is for her to open up," Renjun reasoned, but Donghyuck seemed to be having ulterior motives, throwing a wink into the direction of a middle aged woman with a stroller. Renjun watched for a few moments as Donghyuck pressed his tongue into his cheek smugly, then shouted "just gave him some relationship advice while feeding the ducks", and how the woman chuckled and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then decided he's seen enough.
Sadly, turning off one's ears had not been invented yet, Renjun thought as he stepped away after patting disinterested Donghyuck's shoulder as goodbye, still hearing Donghyuck ask her about the child's father, how come such a beautiful woman doesn't have a strong man at her side, and what she's going to be doing tonight.
_____
"Baby?" Renjun enters the living room to find you sitting in front of the couch on the carpet, carelessly browsing through a magazine with your playlist randomly playing tunes in the background.
"Hey!" Your eyes light up as you see him. Renjun sits down beside you, a slight smile on his face as he takes in how beautiful you look tonight, just like all nights.
"What are you up to?" He asks, curiously leaning forward to be able to look at the magazine as well.
"It's just a women's magazine, it's like fashion and make-up trends an stuff," you explain briefly still scanning through the pages before your eyes light up once again as you turn to look at Renjun.
"What?" Renjun chuckles nervously, but simultaneously loving the look on your face.
"Could I.. do your make-up?" You ask straightforwardly. Renjun's eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, mouth shaping an 'o' as he looks up thinking about it briefly. He's never gotten his make-up done before, and although the thought had never occurred to him before, it does sound like a fun couple's activity to do together that could lead to excellent bonding time. Therefore, he smiles and nods at your request.
Renjun coos at how you get up to grab your make-up bag with a slight excited jump in your walk, then watches how you lean down to fish it out of your bag, gulping hard and averting his gaze as you so carelessly present your ass to him. The conversation with Donghyuck still playing in his mind, he realizes that, apart from wanting to know more about you, he really does miss being inside of you physically.
Before he knows it, you're back on the carpet next to him, opening your bag to reveal the endless depths of its contents, various pencils and brushes, tubes and bottles that Renjun knows close to nothing about.
"What do you want me to do?" You ask, and Renjun smiles contently.
"Whatever you want, I'm yours to play with," he confirms before realizing the ambiguous meaning of his words. He still means them, in both ways.
Although, you do not seem to be catching on, shuffling to sit in front of Renjun instead to have a better look at his handsome face. "Your skin is pretty, so let's skip foundation," you decide and Renjun's smile grows at the implied compliment. Instead, you brush his messy bangs out of his face to be able to get a better look at his eyes.
"Can I do your eyeliner?" You ask, gazing deeply into his eyes, and honestly, you could've asked him to jump out of the window and he'd respond with the same breathy 'yes' he did just now. Especially now after you've climbed into his lap for better access.
"Okay," you giggle, now a black pencil in your hand, "look up!"
Renjun does his best to follow your orders, but the eyeliner feels very foreign on his eyes, and as you ask him to look down next, he is met with your cleavage greeting him, and he has to concentrate on not popping a boner instead.
After a while, you lean back, admiring your work as Renjun blinks a few tears away.
"You look pretty," you admit, handing Renjun a little mirror to see for himself. And as he catches his own reflection, he must admit that you're right. He does look pretty, but honestly, he could've looked like trash right now and he'd still do this over and over again just to be close to you.
"Thank you, I agree!" He smiles, handing you the mirror back.
"How about lipstick next?" You suggest and Renjun's eyes immediately dart down to your lips, remembering the last time his own lips touched them for longer than a quick peck, and longing for that feeling. So instead of answering, he nods, trying his best to conceal his nervousness.
A lipstick in hand, you get comfortable on his lap again, seemingly either ignoring or not caring what your shuffling does to him, then attend to his lips. Renjun's now able to watch your face closely as you apply the tinted product onto his lips, falling in love with the way you look when you concentrate on something.
Your gentle fingers tap the lipstick onto his lips, spreading the color gently to create a faded look, but Renjun doesn't really care anymore. His eyes keep focussing on your lips, yearning to taste them again, and he feels like it's showing with the way he keeps leaning in closer.
His heart skips a beat as he looks up into your eyes again to see them already looking into his, and he doesn't even have to say anything before you close the gap in between your mouths and begin kissing him gently, leaving one, two, three kisses on his lips before drawing back to look into his eyes again.
No words are exchanged, it's just him who leans in this time, breathing in deeply through his nose as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. He completely loses himself in you and the slow song playing in the background. Your lips feel heavenly, and Renjun admits that it's really been too long since the last time he got to taste them.
Your hands stroke over his body just as his do to yours, gentle moans fall from both of your lips as you carefully grind down against Renjun's prominent bulge. It doesn't take long for him to turn you around, gently laying you on your back to the soft carpet, caging you in with his arms and deeply gazing into your eyes. You strip each other of every piece of clothing, taking your sweet time to show the other how you feel, and as Renjun finally enters you, he feels like this is where he belongs.
_____
"Hyuck, I'm telling you, it was absolutely fantastic," Renjun beams, hands in the air metaphorically mimicking a large object to visualize how much fun he's had with you the night prior.
"I'm guessing the rule of premarital abstinence is off the table?" Donghyuck teases, face mockingly serious, though a brow sneaks its way upwards to hint at his playfulness. Renjun presses his lips together, hands sinking to the table.
"You are just jealous that woman in the park only wanted you to be her new babysitter," Renjun shoots back.
"That's what her mouth said, but do you know what her body said to me about thirty minutes later as I rammed my dick in her?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, pressing his tongue into his cheek smugly, and Renjun just stares blankly ahead, right through Donghyuck's insufferable ego as if it was see-through and not as solid as concrete. Donghyuck leans forwards, forearms holding his weight hovering over the tabletop.
"Ah, fuck, you're so big, Donghyuck. Please, d-don't tell my husband. H-he really can't find out that you're making m-me feel so much better than him, ugh, God, I wish you were the father of my children," Donghyuck moans, high pitched and fake like a porn star, and Renjun snorts, laughter that threatened to come out winning the battle against his muscles, and he's sure he spit on Donghyuck in the process. Payback.
"Sorry," Renjun says and doesn't mean it, "have you talked to your therapist about this 'Mommy'-thing?" Donghyuck sighs and rolls his eyes.
"It's not a 'Mommy'-thing. I don't want them to be my mom, I don't want them to pack me a lunch box and sing me a lullaby," Donghyuck explains.
"Then, what?" The corners of Renjun's mouth twitching downwards, threatening another wave of laughter to burst out with vigor.
"Older ladies know what they want in life. They went through labor and stuff and mostly already found a man, so when they want me, I feel good. Also, they know how to please a guy, you know?" Donghyuck says, and Renjun's eyes are about to pop out from the sole pressure of trying to keep his amusement from spitting Donghyuck in the face again.
"Alright, then, if my love life is so laughable, why don't you give me some insight on how great your girlfriend's cunt squeezes around your dick?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, meaning to sound petty and passive-aggressive, even though Renjun knows that he is eager to hear every little detail.
"Does everything have to be this graphic with you?" Renjun contorts his face in faux disgust, but huffs out a chuckle, not ready to admit that, in all honesty, Donghyuck's words sent him right back to last night when you came around him, milking him for all he's worth.
"It does. Whether you like it or not, this is what you signed up for when you started calling me your friend. Now spill," Donghyuck raises a threatening finger.
"I don't know if I'm comfortable giving out information to fuel your next wanking session with my girlfriend," Renjun notes, but continues to spill the details nonetheless. "So, all in all, very romantic until I was like 5 seconds pre-orgasm and 'Jopping' started playing."
"Did you-"
"I did nut to 'Jopping'."
"I guess you were really jumping and popping," Donghyuck examines, then thinks a little longer, "I guess you were a big boy throwing three stacks."
Renjun looks at him, lips turning into a thin line before he slaps his thighs and gets up. "I think I should go?"
"I guess you really made it bang," Donghyuck says and gets up as well, following Renjun into the hallway with quick footsteps. "I guess you really made the crowd go wild in a small room."
"Stop!" Renjun begs, giggling nevertheless as he slips his jacket on.
"I guess you really got that glow."
"Donghyuck!!" Renjun shrieks, not even fully slipping into his shoes before he grabs his bag and opens the door, Donghyuck behind him clutching his stomach laughing. Though, Renjun gets surprised by someone already standing outside the door, the grin immediately falling off his face as he sees who it is.
"I guess it's in your- " Donghyuck starts, but the second he sees the person in front of the door, his laughter dies down, "... nature."
"Hello, stranger," Renjun says sarcastically, squinting his eyes at Jaemin who simply gulps. It's not like Jaemin to not say anything, or to not smile. Renjun immediately feels a little sorry, but at the same time, he doesn't.
Jaemin simply nods before squeezing in between Renjun and the wooden door frame, kicking his shoes off hastily and hurrying past a flabbergasted Donghyuck towards his room. Renjun's eyes follow him disappear, and when he hears the door to Jaemin's room close shut, he feels reminded of how things really started going downwards as soon as you crossed paths with Jaemin again. Of course it bothers him knowing one of his best bros 1) had his dick in Renjun's girlfriend and 2) broke her heart and scarred her for life. What bothers him almost more is how things went well, they were okay, but now Jaemin needed to show up again and make Renjun question everything he's built with you.
What if Donghyuck is right? What if it really is weird that you keep staying at his place? Why is there never a place you have to be? Admittedly, Renjun had pushed this uncomfortable feeling of something being off with your stay to the very back of his brain, not wanting to destroy what you have, not wanting to waste his last chance for love because of something as insignificant as 'oh no, my girlfriend won't leave and I also don't want her to', but suppressing worries is never the answer. No matter how far you push them away, they always resurface to bite you in the butt. And sometimes they bite you in the butt in human form with a perfect, pearly-white set of teeth and eyes that seem alarmingly less sparkly than usual.
Renjun decides that he has to get a grip. He's been so blinded by love, or whatever it is right now that's surely developing into love, that he just let you step into his life, ruin one of his dearest friendships and keep eating the contents of his fridge when he's not home. All this, he tells himself on the way home, passing by a group of guys hanging out in the park together drinking. He sighs. Wasn't it always bros before hoes? Pals before gals? Homies before blow-me's? Does that still apply when the homie is in the wrong?
_____
"Darling?" Renjun whispers as he enters your (at this point) shared home. The lights are turned off, your figure nowhere to be found. Renjun sighs, slowly unties his shoe laces, takes his sneakers off and places them by the door carefully. He realizes most of his shoes are carelessly thrown all over the place, and so are yours. After the sixth pair he's carefully put into storage, he realizes what he's doing.
"You stupid gremlin, just ask her. Stop wasting time," Renjun tells himself, finally taking off his jacket and hanging it up.
"Ask me what?"
Renjun swears his soul leaves his body for a good 10 seconds before he can breathe again. Your silhouette stands in the doorway to his bedroom, the light of the lampposts outside shining on your backside, hugging your curves and making you look like an angel. Renjun curses his artistic eye in moments like these.
"You scared the crap out of me," he giggles, a little intimidated and, truthfully, freaked out at the way you just stand there, seemingly faceless because of the darkness.
"Aww, I'm sorry," you say, and approach him, hugging his cool figure into your arms. Hesitantly, Renjun hugs you back. Something inside him tells him that you're hiding something. "Where were you so long?"
Renjun breathes in slowly, then out through his nose. "Just walking around, needed to think." He's telling the truth.
"Are you okay?" You pull back, looking at his face gently illuminated by the moon. Very lightly, Renjun can make out the lines of worry on your face. He lets out a shaky breath.
"We need to talk."
Another layer of clothing lighter, Renjun sits down on the bed next to you, sweatpants and a white shirt replacing his earlier clothes that kept him from freezing in the cool weather of an early October. The expression on your face is unreadable, though you look not happy, but rather full of worry, sadness and a pinch of anger.
"Okay, this... this is not an easy thing to ask," Renjun finally starts, hating the tension that's so thick one could cut it with a knife.
"Please, um-" you stop him before anymore words can leave his mouth, glossed over eyes finding his gaze and the sight makes Renjun's heart ache. Never have you looked so raw, so fragile, so... broken? "Let me say something first, okay?"
Renjun nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to chew on it. His heart beats fast, the sight of you in front of him almost making him forget why he marched through the streets of this town for hours with no physical goal, but only to make sense of the mess clouding his brain.
"I don't know... what exactly you're going to ask me, but-" you halt and stare downwards into your lap where your shaky hands are nervously fumbling with each other. "Whatever it is, whether you want to break up with me, I just want you to know that-" you gulp, voice shaky, "that I've never felt loved in my life except for when I was with you. You really showed me what love is, Jun. You made me love you. So, um..." you breathe out shakily, two tears rolling down and falling towards your hands as they reach the apples of your cheeks. "Thank you for your time and efforts. You really are the best person I've ever met."
_____
"You are fucking weak!" Donghyuck scolds, a little less playfully than usual.
"You don't get it, Hyuck. You weren't there. The sight would even have broken your sad excuse of a heart," Renjun defends himself.
"Excuse me? Just because my heart has Milf-shaped holes in it doesn't mean I don't feel empathy!" Donghyuck throws in, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Renjun feels a little less confident in his decision of letting you be than a few minutes ago. "What did you ask instead?"
Renjun bites his tongue. Admittedly, a day later, the decision doesn't seem as logical as it did hidden under the secure blankets of a dark night. "I asked if she wanted to meet my parents?"
Donghyuck laughs out, once, and very loud, then turns his body to Renjun and places his hands on the older's thighs. "And let me guess." He raises his eyebrows in amusement. Renjun is not amused. "She was like: 'oh my God, Junnie! Why didn't you just say that?' And playfully slapped your arm, and you somehow ended up with your dick so deep in her you could feel hear stomach acid."
"Ew, what the fuck?" Renjun's eyes widen, eyebrows furrowing, his mouth agape in horror. "Y-you know that's not how the female body works, right?"
"How would I know?" Donghyuck retorts, shrugging.
Renjun groans in frustration, hiding his face in his hands. Donghyuck is right. He shouldn't have let you off the hook so easily. He has the right to know! He deserves to have all the answers to his questions. He is honestly one incident away from making an AITA post on Reddit.
"Hey, hey," Donghyuck gently removes Renjun's hands from his face, letting his hands linger on the older's wrists, "don't beat yourself up, Jun. It's not your fault. If the pussy is tight, the pussy is tight, and there is nothing we can do about it. She's in your head, while you should be in her head – literally."
Renjun rolls his eyes.
"No, for real, though." Donghyuck softly slaps the back of Renjun's birthmarked hand. "Women have a different kind of power over us mortals." He looks deeply into Renjun's eyes. "You really like her, don't you?"
Renjun nods. "I might even use the other L-word."
"Okay, here's the thing," Donghyuck announces, now taking both of Renjun's hands in his, cheesily interlocking their fingers which Renjun chooses to ignore, "meeting your parents is great. I mean, inevitably, they're gonna ask her about her job, won't they?"
A spark of hopeful light appears in Renjun's eyes. "You're right. Thank you, Hyuck."
"Kiss me, then," Donghyuck says and winks. Renjun forcefully pulls his hands from Donghyuck's grip. "In your dreams."
"You don't wanna know what happens in my dreams, my dear Renjun," Donghyuck smirks and Renjun decides that this conversation has to end here.
"How are things with Jaemin?" He therefore asks, leaning back in his chair to create a bigger distance between him and the lecher.
"He's in and out, mostly when he knows I'm not around. I think I'm going to trap him later today when he comes home, and make him tell me what the fuck his problem is," Donghyuck explains matter-of-factly. Renjun admires Donghyuck for his confrontation abilities. Of course, Donghyuck is not as in the middle of all this as Renjun, but he himself would've dreaded running into Jaemin randomly in the hallway, would probably put a tracking device on Jaemin so he can properly avoid him, and – Heaven forbid – would not try to corner him and make him spill. Renjun really hates confrontation, he always has when it comes to people he's close with, that he likes, or rather: that he's afraid of losing, and this is probably one of the reasons why he finds it abnormally hard to tickle the kind of information out of you that he needs to sleep peacefully at night.
Either way, Donghyuck will get Jaemin, and his parents will get you, and Renjun gets all the information he needs without having to put in even an ounce of effort. Slowly, Renjun realizes that this is not that great of a foundation for a good relationship, platonically or romantically. Yeah, admittedly, he feels a bit like a wimp.
_____
Renjun's heart beats up his throat for no apparent reason, except for the fact that he's currently standing in front of his parents' house, having just pressed his finger into the button for the doorbell seconds prior. On his other hand: you, dressed up nicely as if you're trying to impress his parents, inevitably leading to a new hatch of butterflies dancing around in Renjun's stomach. He also quite enjoys the way your palm is a bit sweaty as you cling to his hand, proving that you're nervous, which means that you care. Renjun really likes imagining that you care.
"Son!" Renjun's father opens the door and pulls him into a strong, manly hug, his dad's large palm coming down on his back to knock the air out of him. Seconds later, the hug is over, and Renjun's father examines you.
You smile sweetly, holding his hand out for him to shake. Renjun's dad raises his eyebrows, grins, then shakes your hand aggressively. "Son, I gotta say-"
"Please refrain," Renjun pleads, and pulls you into the house. You both take your shoes off and enter the living room containing Renjun's mom who quickly fluffs out the pillows, then turns to you.
"It's great to meet you," she says, shakes your hand and throws Renjun a wink. Renjun cringes. He really loves his parents – well, his mom first and foremost, but yeah – but they have a disgruntling tendency to embarrass him. His mother, the social butterfly she is, immediately picks up a conversation with you and, to Renjun's upmost joy, you seem thrilled about it, your eyes sparkling as you talk to his mother. It's good, don't get him wrong, but beyond the surface, it's bad. There is a reason Renjun brought you here, well, not that it's the sole reason, but Renjun still needs to find out what it is that you do for a living, and when he gets blinded by this mind-numbing feeling of being absolutely in love with the way you get along with his mother, the dearest woman in his life, he will forget about it.
Hence, he excuses himself to see his father in the kitchen, preparing the food. Not that any of you or his mother would even notice his absence as Renjun's mom is already on her way to the shelf in the corner to pull out photo albums containing Renjun's best and worst memories growing up. But even as he stands in the kitchen, his gaze darts over through the open door to investigate your figure hunched over the printed stages of Renjun's puberty, giggling wholeheartedly over his mother's remarks about all of his friends in the past. His mother has always been good with names and faces.
Even later at the dinner table, Renjun is not able to concentrate one his father's cooking, or the light conversation taking place over the amount of food on the table that could feed an entire baseball team for three weeks. There is only one single thing on Renjun's mind: what is it that you are hiding?
Thankfully – might it be the telekinetic bond he has with his mother or just simple human interest – Renjun's mom, after a minute of silent munching, pipes up and throws the question into the room.
"Our Renjun worked hard to be a freelancer," she chuckles and briefly touches Renjun's forearm resting beside his plate, causing Renjun's ears to pipe up and his eyes to widen. "What is it that you do for a living?"
Renjun feels as if time stops, presumably because it does take you a little while to answer. You visibly gulp at the question, eyes avoiding every person at the table. "Well," you begin, then look up at everyone. You blink a few times and wet your lips before continuing. "I recently lost my job and am looking for something else at the moment." Your gaze catches Renjun's who can't hide his surprise. "Which is why I am extremely grateful for Renjun being there for me right now."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Renjun's mom comforts, a sad look on her face.
"It's okay. I mean- the firm had to ax jobs because of insolvency, so there wasn't really anything I could do about it." You nod to yourself. The following awkwardness lies heavily in the air, and before Renjun's father can even think about bringing alcohol to the table, his mother pipes up once again.
"Don't worry about it, dear. You are still young, there will be lots of job opportunities in the future, I'm sure of it," she smiles encouragingly and you manage to send a slight smile back. "Which reminds me!"
This time, Renjun's mom playfully pinches her husband's shoulder who dramatically mewls at the action. "We were just your age when we met!"
"Oh, really?" You smile widely, interested in the story Renjun's mom tells next, going into almost every detail regarding their first encounter. Renjun, having listened to this exact story countless times, relaxes in his seat. He feels a bit bad that he basically forced you to reveal this probably embarrassing detail about yourself in front of his parents the first time you meet them, but a much bigger part of him is just relieved since, basically, this explains it all. Maybe he should feel a bit used, a bit hurt that you didn't trust him enough to share this detail of your life with him, but on the other hand: he is just glad you're not secretly a serial killer or do porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that, he'd just like to know.
In the midst of his mom's speech, he catches your eyes and sends you a gentle smile which you reciprocate. His hand gently squeezes your thigh under the table, and he is pleasantly surprised as your hand finds his, casually interlocking your fingers with his and putting them on display on the table top.
"Well, good thing you met him before the year ended," Renjun's mother finishes. Renjun's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Why would she bring that up?
"Why? What's happening at the end of the year?" You ask curiously.
"Christmas!" Renjun says, a bit too loud maybe, since all eyes are on him all of a sudden. "You know, cuffin' season. Heh..."
The day ends pleasantly. Renjun has to fight both of his parents off as they try to make you stay over night or "at least for another shot". Oh no, he has to get you home and, to be completely honest, right into his bed, or preferably the closest surface to the front door that you're willing to take him on. Not even the little remark his mother had whispered to him as he was waiting by the door for you to finish up in the bathroom can make him want you any less right now: "I'm so sure I know her from somewhere."
_____
Days pass and Renjun is on cloud nine. Things are going absolutely great with you, you do fun stuff together, and Renjun can have his little daddy moments every once in a while when you ask him to help you with your job search. He feels giddy all over when he goes to bed, and possibly even giddier when he wakes up to you soundly snoring in his arms. Life is perfect.
But Renjun wouldn't be Renjun if he didn't worry about something, and this time it is the last obstacle to overcome for this to be the absolute perfect relationship: you have to vibe with his friends. Well, first of all, he himself has to start vibing with all of his friends again. He has not seen or heard of Jaemin since he met him that day, and Donghyuck had either forgotten to corner the younger male, or forgotten to tell Renjun about it (classic Donghyuck).
Hence, Renjun calls Donghyuck (so he can't forget to respond to his messages) and makes a plan to meet. Said meeting actually occurs on the same day since Donghyuck feared Jaemin would flee the country if they didn't hurry.
About an hour later – and don't ask him how he convinced you to do this (he might have been using the short post-orgasm timeframe to suggest it when your mind was still cloudy and you were grinning like you were out of your mind) – you appear in front of Donghyuck and Jaemin's apartment.
Before Renjun can even reach out to ring the doorbell, Donghyuck rips open the door, shushes the both of you and hurries you inside. Shoes off, you all meet at the stinky kitchen table and Renjun is reminded of his first encounter with you that he had spilled about at this very table. He finds it a funny little memory.
"Jaemin is in his room," Donghyuck whispers and Renjun can smell the garlic fried chicken he must have had earlier in his breath.
"You didn't tell him we were coming?" Renjun whisper-shouts back and purposely avoids looking at you because he already knows of the disapproving stare the back of his head is receiving right now.
"One: he just had a girl over, and even though I seem like the type to barge into a room that reeks of sex to witness Jaemin balls deep in a chick, I've seen enough of that. Two: if I had told him, he would've possibly taken off no questions asked," Donghyuck reasons and Renjun has to, once again, question why Donghyuck always has to verbally visualize all the tmi details of his speech. Renjun turns to look at you, and you look unsure. Although you had voiced your concerns on the way here, and Renjun had to make you promise not to bail on him, he gets where you're coming from.
Taking you aside (turning around since Donghyuck is openly swiping on his tinder right now that Renjun knows he hasn't set an age limit to) he asks, "Are you okay with this?"
You take a deep breath before nodding. "I want to do this for you, Jun."
Renjun has to ask himself when he started to connect the feeling of love with the desire for sex because why is the first though that comes to mind to bend you over the sticky counter and have his balls slap against your thighs? On that note, he also should stop hanging out with Donghyuck so much if this is how his mind describes sex...
Instead, he presses a kiss to your lips, and apparently Donghyuck's forgotten about his rule of being quiet because he 'ooohh's and laughs dirtily. Renjun simply pays him no mind, unlike you who raises a questioning eyebrow.
"I say I go in first, prepare him for what's to come, and then get him out here so we can all talk," Renjun suggests and everyone nods in agreement. "And Donghyuck-"
"Hm?"
"Leave my girlfriend alone while I'm gone." Renjun squints at Donghyuck.
"I'll try my best." Donghyuck winks at him before brushing his tongue over his front teeth and then biting the air in your direction. Renjun cringes.
"I can defend myself, don't you worry," you confirm with a smile and Renjun wants to kiss the floor you're walking on. Well, maybe not this floor since he is sure that ketchup stain by the fridge has been there since they moved in and got McDonald's on the first night.
"Oh, you know martial arts?" Donghyuck questions with raised eyebrows and great interest.
"No, but I can aim for your balls!" You explain, nodding excitedly.
"Be careful, he might enjoy that," Renjun comments before leaving towards Jaemin's room. He can hear Donghyuck silently arguing his statement in the background before promising you that he would not enjoy that, even though everyone present knows that's a lie. Renjun giggles one last time before turning the corner and stepping into the narrow hallway leading to Donghyuck's and Jaemin's bedrooms while wishing they would open a window every once in a while.
The few steps to Jaemin's door seem endless, especially as Renjun walks past Donghyuck's room that he had forgotten to close the door to, greeting Renjun with the pleasant sight of a fleshlight. Renjun whines quietly, but realizes nonetheless that he is happy to be Donghyuck's friend. He might be disgusting, but it's actually kind of funny.
So, without proper preparation of what to say, Renjun arrives at Jaemin's door. His hand hesitates in front of the "alpha male", "gym bro" and "Fortnite" stickers on Jaemin's door before he actually manages to knock.
The second Jaemin takes to offer him to enter stretches like gum.
"Did you forget something, bunny?" Jaemin asks as soon as the door opens. Renjun is greeted with the sight of Jaemin's massive back facing him as he sits at his desk, an online poker game decorating the large screen in front of him.
Given the nickname, Renjun doubts that Jaemin has any clue that it's him in his room right now. He tries to think of a cocky answer, but he has never been the spontaneous type, so all that comes out is "call me bunny one more time and i might kiss you" and Renjun has no idea where that came from. Still, it does the job of making Jaemin spin around in his chair, eyes wide in shock as he sees Renjun (and not bunny) stand in the doorway.
It's been a while since Renjun's seen Jaemin, and that might be one of the reasons why he finds himself staring at the younger's chest muscles for a bit too long for it to be a coincidence.
Once he's managed to peel his eyes off of Jaemin's nude upper body (he is glad he's wearing boxer shorts, at least) he aims to say something again since Jaemin's sure taking a long time to respond.
"Good day, sir," Renjun says and frowns at how awkward he is. Finally, a chuckle escapes Jaemin. Renjun also isn't sure why he's being so nice to Jaemin. Last time he checked, he was furious and wanted Jaemin to suffer a pussy-less summer. Maybe it's because everything else is perfect right now, and he doesn't have it in him to feel angry anymore.
"Hello, Jun," Jaemin finally says before getting up and wrapping his meaty arms around Renjun who experiences a weird mixture of relief, a spark of arousal, and the feeling of being crushed to death, so he just gently pads Jaemin's body in return. When Jaemin finally lets go of him, holding him by his shoulders and gently shaking him, Renjun reminds himself of all the disgusting things in this room alone so he can stop finding his best friend hot (namely: the dead cactus by the dirty window, the trash can that's spilling over with used tissues and condom wrappers, the countless empty bottles scattered around the place, most of which still containing an unnaturally colored fluid and some of which sporting little white clumps, the pin-up-girl-posters, the old gym socks all over the floor that he can smell from here, and the thick layer of dust on- basically everything Jaemin doesn't touch every day). It helps.
Jaemin steps back, opens a window and lights a cigarette.
"So, uh," Renjun starts, "don't freak out."
Jaemin nods and smiles.
"But I'm here with," Renjun halts to force down a smile and fail, "with my girlfriend. And don't feel pressured right now! It's all good. But we.. we came to talk things out."
Jaemin is not smiling anymore, but nods nonetheless. Renjun feels a bit bad, a bit selfish, even.
"Would you, uh-" Renjun scratches the back of his head before stepping towards the window as well because the distance is making him feel a lot more awkward "Would you mind telling me what happened? Back then?"
"She didn't tell you?" Jaemin questions, and Renjun is trying his best to decipher how Jaemin is feeling right now. Is he upset? Does he care?
"She did, but... I wanted to hear your side of the story. You're my best friend, after all," Renjun admits, eyes wandering around the room awkwardly before looking at Jaemin again. He is a bit glad his fingers find an old gum wrapper on the window sill to fiddle with. "I know it probably didn't feel like that for you in the past weeks. I'm sorry. It should've been bros before hoes but-"
"I know, you're a hopeless romantic, Jun," Jaemin reasons, "no need to apologize. I guess I just didn't like getting confronted with my ugly past."
"I get that," Renjun says and smiles slightly. Next thing he knows, Jaemin's pressing a kiss to his forehead. Renjun turns beet red within seconds. "Stop it, idiot, I have a girlfriend."
Jaemin laughs loudly. "What, am I your gay awakening?"
"You know very well who my gay awakening was." Renjun thinks back to his high school days, especially that one kid, tall, handsome, loud and a little stupid. Oh, meow, his first love.
Jaemin ruffles his hair. "So, my side of the story, huh?" He leans on his forearms and looks out the window, blowing the smoke into the cold air. Renjun, already shivering a little, wonders how Jaemin's not dying from the cold right now. "There is not much to it, really. I was a horny teenager, she was a pretty girl. It was not cool of me to just – y'know – hit and run. I have learned since then. Girls know what they get themselves into when they hop into my bed, I make it very clear."
"Very noble of you," Renjun says, and he hopes it doesn't sound sarcastic to Jaemin's ears. This might not be Renjun's preferred lifestyle, but to each their own, who is he to judge? "I'm just hoping this won't stand between us."
"Oh, don't worry. I won't fuck your girlfriend again," Jaemin promises, snapping the bud of the cigarette out the window.
"Not what I meant-" Renjun says, but is honestly a bit relieved to hear that. Well, he's pretty sure you wouldn't cheat on him, and he knows that Jaemin has about 200 other options just off the top of his head, but it still feels nice to be reassured. "So, are we good?"
"We are so good," Jaemin announces with a grin, pulling Renjun into another rib-cracking hug. This time, Renjun actually manages to hug him back. He loves Jaemin dearly (platonically), even though he's a real pig at times. Renjun daydreams a bit more about how much he loves his friends before Jaemin detaches himself from Renjun to announce that they should probably head out so he can apologize to the real victim of all of this. Renjun swears he's going to twist Jaemin's nipples until they fall off if he goes out there to meet you without putting a shirt on first. Jaemin laughs, slaps Renjun's back so hard the air gets knocked out of his lungs, then complies and slips into the next best sweater.
Renjun sighs as he realizes the writings on it. Better than nothing, he guesses.
He isn't really surprised as they enter the kitchen to find Donghyuck flexing his very little gain of biceps in front of you and you booing at him with your thumb pointing downwards. Once you notice Jaemin, Renjun notices how you tense up a bit, and he immediately comes rushing to your side to feel you slightly relax with his arm around your shoulder.
"Long time no see-" Donghyuck squints at the lettering on Jaemin's sweater, "orgasm donor."
"Might have not seen you, but I definitely smelled those stinkers you leave in the bathroom for me to find," Jaemin responds. Renjun is a bit surprised to find that this whole situation must have affected Jaemin enough to not even interact with his platonic soulmate in the slightest.
"You make it sound like I don't flush," Donghyuck mumbles, but it goes unnoticed since Jaemin has now turned to you.
"I want to apologize, which I should've done way sooner," Jaemin starts, and the tension in the air is scaring Renjun a bit. "I was young and a total dick, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry."
No one says anything, not even Donghyuck, who has an opinion or at least a thought on everything. It is quiet for a good while, and Renjun fears that you are not ready to forgive Jaemin, which, in all honesty, is fair, given you've lived with the trauma he gave you for years now. Renjun has tried fairly often since he found out what you went through, but he can't imagine how he would've reacted (and lived on) if his first love (who took his v-card) just left without saying anything. (He had to move to fulfill his dream of becoming an idol a year later, sadly, but they're still in touch, on and off. This also makes his encounter with you on the living room floor the other night a bit ironic, but that is besides the point right now.)
Finally, you breathe in. The anxiety in Jaemin's eyes tightens. Everyone is holding their breath.
"I forgive you." You reach out and shake Jaemin's hand. Hell breaks loose in Renjun's chest because, wow, what did he do in his past life to deserve such luck. He is so happy, he smooches your cheek. You giggle, Jaemin smiles and Donghyuck hollers in the background. This little party goes on for a moment before the atmosphere relaxes again. Donghyuck pipes up again to fill the silent moment with an unnecessary comment, "is it just me or does this situation call for a gang bang?"
"Donghyuck, I swear to God, I am going to stuff you head first into Jaemin's nut-napkin-trash can and send a picture of it to your mom," Renjun hisses, but Donghyuck seems unfazed.
"Nothing she hasn't seen before." He shrugs. Renjun decides not to question it.
_____
Renjun's life is so wonderful, he wishes someone would write a story about it. With him by your side, you actually managed to get a job which occupies you half of every other day. Although, you still live with Renjun, which he doesn't mind at all. He loves having you come home to a freshly cooked dinner, to then snuggle on the couch until you either fall asleep or start diddling.
Renjun likes when it's the second option, just like tonight, where he's seated on the floor in front of the couch with your legs draped over his shoulders as he eats you out slowly and softly. Your gentle gasps are music to his ears, the prime time movie playing in the background long forgotten and tuned out as his attention is fully on you.
The slight tugs on his hair make his stomach churn with desire, hands and mouth suddenly too eager to keep his teasing manner up as he moves up to kiss you instead. You giggle into the kiss at his fiery passion, suggesting to take things to the bedroom instead.
Renjun does not need to be told twice as he pulls you against him, making you chuckle even more, and moves you to the bedroom.
Your back hits the mattress with a soft thud as you smile excitedly at Renjun who comes climbing over your body to be at eye level with you again. His hands find your hips, caressing their way upwards while pushing the silky fabric of your shirt up in the process, allowing your braless chest to meet his hungry eyes. The rest of your clothing follows suit, Renjun feeling the flame of lust relight once again as his bare skin touches yours.
"Can we try something tonight?" You suddenly whisper, gaze trained on Renjun's face waiting impatiently for his answer. With his mouth slightly agape, he nods. His eyes jump to where your hand is suddenly touching his, following as you move it upwards to your neck, gently wrapping his smooth fingers around it and applying pressure.
Renjun gulps in awe.
"Press here when you push in," you say, eyelids fluttering as you mimic the action with your fingers against his. Renjun nods carefully, pupils blown probably as wide as yours with lust and desire, heart pounding in his chest as if it was the first time all over again. He will always feel like this around you.
Finding your entrance, Renjun coats his tip with your essence, teasing your awaiting body for another moment or so until his tip catches at your hole. He remembers your words, the grip of his fingers tightening around your throat as he slowly pushes forward, length sinking in slowly.
He's not even all the way in and he can already feel you clench around him, walls hugging him as if they're afraid of letting him go, hole almost fluttering at the feeling of being choked. All that paired with how heavenly you look wrapped up in ecstasy, pretty moans flowing freely only impacted by the way Renjun restricts the flow of air into your lungs and of blood into your brain.
Renjun loves you. He is so deeply in love with you he feels like he could laugh and cry simultaneously, stomach tickling with the all too familiar butterflies every time you look at him. He can't ever get enough of you, he needs you close to him. Never is he going to let you go. He will fight for you, whatever that might mean.
"I'm so in love with you," Renjun can't hold back saying, gently gaze caressing you lovingly. The slow pace he sets makes both of you see stars, length dragging along your walls perfectly to bring you to your shared high.
And it's probably this what makes it sting 100 times more the next morning. You were up early to go to work, kissing Renjun's forehead goodbye as he was still idling sleepily in bed. His mind is still groggy when he peels himself off the sheets and picks up his phone for the first time that day, weak hands struggling to remove the charger. Although, all sleepiness is wiped from his body the second he looks at the screen.
The pretty lock screen picture he has showing you during golden hour is hidden behind a bunch of messages that came in over night. But Renjun is not interested in the four messages he had gotten from Donghyuck ("TW: dickpic", a photo, "can i send it like this or does the slit look off to you??" and "or is it just me?????") or the Instagram reel Jaemin sent to the group chat with the message "me when i was in renjun's gf ha haaa" and Donghyuck responding with "clean".
What makes Renjun's heart drop, beat 20 times its usual speed and then drop again is the following E-Mail notification:
Dear Renjun Huang,
we feel the need to inform you that during our yearly check-ups, we noticed that there has been an incident with your account. Unfortunately, it seems like there has been a mistake made on the company's side regarding your profile.
It seems that someone has hacked into our system, gotten to your private information and pretended to be your Soulmatch™.
We dearly apologize for this mistake. To protect your safety, we have now deleted your account and all private information regarding your person. Please get in touch with us if you want to press charges against the intruder.
Of course, we will pay back the amount you have spent on our Premium Love Package immediately.
Again, our deepest apologies.
Sincerely,
The Soulmatch™ Team
Renjun is not sure how to react to this. Immediately, he checks the app, but he is logged out already. He tries to log in, but his profile is nowhere to be found.
Putting his phone down, he falls onto his back. His mind is racing with thoughts, but they do not seem to make any sense. Someone pretended to be his soulmate? He has never gotten any matches except-
Except you.
Was this... all a hoax? Were you not his soulmate? Have you been lying to him all this time? Why? What does this even mean? How did you do it? And most importantly, what is he going to do now?
Before he knows it, tears start pooling in his eyes, and soon after they drip hotly down his cheeks.
You lied to him.
Have you just used him all this time? Is everything a lie? Do you even love him back? Where did the lies begin? Does he even know who you are? Is this why you've been so secretive about every single detail of your life? Because everything is just made up?
And he just let you. He put up with all of it because he is a pathetic romantic who believes in soulmates. Because he is so desperate to find love. You lied to him with every fibre of your being. And he kissed you. He made love to you. He held you and comforted you. Hell, he even let down his best friend because of you. How could he have been so stupid?
Renjun simply has no words. And he doesn't think he has anything to say to you ever again. He just wants to know why, and how, but he doesn't want to ask you because you're going to lie your way out of it anyway, no?
Shaky legs allow him to get up and walk over into the living room where all your stuff is scattered around.
He is so stupid. He let you live with him. He trusted you without question.
And you used him.
He never wants to see you or any of your stuff ever again, he decides as he kicks against your backpack leaned against the couch, wincing in pain immediately as the contents of the backpack appear to be much more solid than he presumed. His hands grab ahold of his injured foot, causing him to pathetically jump around on one leg until he gives up and falls onto the couch. Wow, he can't even have his dramatic meltdown without being an embarrassing idiot.
The next few hours he spends mostly crying or angrily pacing around. He's thrown all your stuff into a corner and covered it with a blanket so he doesn't need to get reminded of how he's just a pathetic loser every few minutes, although it doesn't help.
He is not sure whether to be upset about the fact that you can't use your phone at work or not, he only knows that by the time 2pm comes around (the time you get off work) he starts to panic.
He is not going to face you. Not now, not like this, preferably not ever. He debates if he should call you, but knowing how easily influenced he is, he'd probably let you lull him in again. No way is he going to face you, nor your voice, nor your texts. All that's left to notify you that Renjun wants you out of his life immediately is a handwritten note to leave while he goes and takes a walk, and hopefully by the time he comes back, you and all your stuff are gone.
Unfortunately, before he can even get a pen and a piece of paper, he hears the keys jiggling as the door is being unlocked. Renjun briefly debates whether jumping out the window would hurt less than this encounter.
"Honey I'm h-" your face comes into view, and Renjun feels his heart beat up his throat. He feels so uncomfortable, so bad, so stupid, so pathetic. "What's wrong?"
Okay, great. It seems to be written all over his face how his morning went.
"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Is all he gets out, cringing at how shaky his voice is, how weak and cracked it sounds after he's dramatically sobbed for a good half of his morning.
"What do you mean?" Your brows contort, and Renjun is glad that he for once does not feel any sexual attraction to you while you're fighting. This was too much.
"Maybe how you lied to me about every single aspect of your life?"
"Huh??"
Renjun wipes his face with one hand. "Didn't know you could hack."
The utter confusion on your face turns into an expression of shock, fear even. "Oh God, oh God."
"That's right, now you remember," Renjun says passive aggressively.
"I think I'm gonna throw up," you say, not meeting Renjun's eyes as you hold your stomach.
"Listen. I'm not going to scream at you. I just want you out. Out of here and out of my life," Renjun says and is surprised at how calm he appears.
"No, no, no, please. I can explain-"
"You can explain all you want, how can I ever believe something you say ever again after all you did was lie? Do you even love me?" Renjun raises his voice against his own better judgement, tears appearing in his eyes once again, but he doesn't let them spill out. He can't give you that kind of satisfaction.
By now, you're kneeling on the floor. The one and a half meters separating you from him feel endless, you're crying restlessly and Renjun doesn't even feel a pinch of empathy for you.
"I do! I love you, please, Renjun, please, you're all I have," you beg.
At this, Renjun feels his heart shatter a little more. Maybe he does have a bit of empathy for you. At the same time, a new wave of anger arises.
"I trusted you. I gave you everything. And you just- you lied. All you did was lie!"
"That's not true! I-" you suddenly crawl over to him and Renjun takes a step back. "I promise. I love you. Maybe the beginning was- fucked up, but everything after that was sincere! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please!"
At this point, the gates of pride can no longer contain Renjun's tears and he breaks down as well, his knees hit the floor in front of you and he begins sobbing. "How could you do this to me?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," is all you reply, hands reaching out to touch him, and he flinches back, but somehow still lets it happen, lets your arms wrap around him and burry your face in the crook of his neck as you pathetically whimper into the fabric of his shirt.
Renjun follows suit. Of course, he hates you right now, but a very big part of him is in love with you – or rather with the version of you that you made up (???). Not listening to the part of his consciousness screaming at him to stop, he wraps his arms around you as well, crying wholeheartedly against your shaking body.
He has no idea how long you sit there, his legs have gone numb at this point, everything hurts, and then you finally speak up.
"I can explain. It's not good, it's not nice, it's no excuse, but I at least want you to know the truth and not whatever truth you've made up in your head."
Renjun nods. He shouldn't, but he wants you to tell him what really happened.
He also hates that you know him so well.
You somehow find yourselves on the living room floor a few minutes later. Renjun's brought two bottles of water to hydrate after that crying fest out there.
"So, the app," you start, not meeting Renjun's eyes in the slightest. "I used to- work for them."
You take some time to let that sink in. Renjun decides he does not want to respond until the end.
"There was a huge data leakage, and I thought I had it under control, but turns out I didn't, which is why I had to meet you to get you to delete your profile- it's complicated. Or maybe I just made it complicated. But that is why.. you got that weird match. Usually, you can visit that person's profile, but obviously I couldn't have you see it was me because of- our previous encounter, which by the way wasn't planned! It was really just a coincidence!"
Renjun is unsure how this is making him feel.
"Anyway, so I came over. You went to the bathroom and I deleted the app of your phone. Silly me apparently forgot that i had to delete the profile, which is why I came back. I didn't plan for us to hook up again- or whatever. I just needed enough time to delete your profile, which I fucked up. This is already bad enough, but it gets worse."
Renjun does not like where this is going.
"Obviously, I got fired. And you know my situation by now, this was literally all I had. With what I had saved, it lasted me about half a year until I had no money left, I had no idea what to do. I applied for jobs everywhere, but no one was willing to hire me after finding out why I got fired last time. This is where it gets really fucked up. I'm sorry."
Your nervous fiddling makes Renjun believe you, even though he is not sure if he should.
"I- thought that... oh, God, this is so bad."
"Just say it," Renjun says and is not really surprised by how dead inside he sounds.
"Well, I thought that maybe if I like had sex with you again, you'd let me stay with you? I really don't know what the plan was, but... literally you're the only person I knew and... I don't know, I just thought- I guess I didn't think. But then you said you didn't want to have sex anymore, but wanted me to stay anyway- so I... used you... I mean, I still... liked you? Obviously, or else I wouldn't've slept with you.. twice! I mean- God, I'm such a horrible person.."
Renjun doesn't have to say anything to that.
"Well, and then things went so great – except for the Jaemin thing – and for the first time ever, I felt loved? Because I was? Literally, half the time I wished I would've stayed the time we first hooked up so we could have a normal relationship that isn't based on me trying to save my ass and using you... But everything was so beautiful. You made me feel safe, and I pretty much forgot about the app. I really just enjoyed being with you. I enjoyed falling in love with you. Even meeting your parents and friends, how you sorted out the Jaemin thing for me..."
Renjun believes you are genuine.
"That's it... I think.. I just- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have lied to you.. I should've just been honest from the beginning and said I made a mistake or whatever but- I don't know, I didn't. I guess I was scared? I don't know.. But please, I need you to believe me when I say everything after that was real. I love you. I like you, everything about you, and not only because you're kind and offered me a home... basically, no. I like you for you. I love you. Even if you-" you choke up briefly "decide that you don't want to be with me anymore, I just need you to believe me when I say... that I truly love you. I never lied about that, ever. Not once. And I wouldn't in a million years."
"Is that all?" Renjun asks after a minute. You, looking at him for the first time, nod. Before his heart can start beating again, before the butterflies can come back, he needs to remind himself that you used him. You used him and you lied.
"I mean, this is a lot," Renjun starts. You suddenly seem to be unable to look at him anymore. "I feel- actually I don't really know how I feel, but thank you for.. being honest, I hope?"
"I promise."
"I'm going to be honest, I feel... betrayed?"
"Rightfully so."
"I need some time to think about it... Is it.. okay.." Renjun rethinks his decision of asking you beforehand, "I'm going to need to take a walk.. clear my head, make up my mind. I'm not going to ask you to stay, but I'm also not asking you to leave. Do what you will..."
"I understand," you nod, and Renjun gets up. "Wait-"
Renjun halts and turns around to look at you getting up from your place on the carpet. "This might be.. wrong? Toxic? But... can I... if this is the last time I can... if you decide to.. not be with me... can I kiss you one last time?"
Renjun feels his throat close up at your words. Either you're a really, really good liar or you're being honest about your feelings. His breath hitches, his heart performs summersaults in his chest, and his voice trembles, "you can."
Carefully you lean in, slowly pressing your lips against his. There is not much going on, your hands gently hover on his shoulders, barely touching him at all, and your lips just stay still against his. Still, Renjun feels like a thousand silent words and a million hidden emotions clear up as his eyes close to feel you against him. His breath is shaky, he feels himself getting hot as more tears well up behind his closed lids. He really doesn't want to let you go.
As you part from him, his lips chase you for a split second before he realizes what he's doing. "I should get going."
"Be safe." You nod again and Renjun hears the threatening tears in your voice. God, how badly he wants to believe you.
'I love you, I love you!', his heart screams at him to scream at you, but he doesn't. Instead, he steps out of the room, grabs his keys, slips into his shoes and jacket, and heads out without looking back.
The cold air hits his face. Yet, unlike in the movies, he still doesn't feel any clearer. He still feels used and betrayed, he still feels like shit, but he knows he loves you. But is that enough of a reason to forgive you?
He tries to be logical, debate his options, but he can't focus. All that swirls around his brain is how your lips felt on his, and he wonders if kissing you was a mistake. This stupid, romantic mind of his...
Inevitably, after walking around the neighborhood for a good hour, thinking of nothing and everything, he decides that maybe he still isn't in the right mind to make a decision on his own. But who is he going to ask? Fucknut #1 and Serial-Fucker #2? Definitely not.
Therefore, he is glad his mother answers the phone after the second ring. Immediately, she knows something is up, and Renjun repeats the things you have told him (with less sexual details, as to be expected) to his mother who listens patiently.
Except for a "that's where I know her from!" and a short explanation how she saw a picture of you amongst your colleagues when she read that article about the love app, she just listens. Maybe he should've asked her about it back then, about the article. Maybe none of this would have happened. But then, he wouldn't have you in his life.
When he is done and asks for advice, she appears calm.
"Oh, Junnie. Love can be a funny thing. See, when I met your father, it wasn't easy either. Both of our families were against us, our lives were so different from each other, and still, there was so much connecting us that it had to be fate. I know it's hard to trust after something like this, I can only imagine what you're feeling right now, but you're a smart kid, you'll know what's right."
"But what would you do? What do you think?" Renjun asks.
His mother sighs and chuckles slightly. "Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic like you are, but... people make mistakes, Junnie. The universe brought you together so many times, I think it's fate. I don't know if you should forgive her, but I know I would."
"You would? You don't think I'm crazy? You don't think I'm letting her walk all over me?"
"Not that this should matter, but you haven't been completely honest with her either if I remember correctly?" His mom reminds him, and Renjun suddenly feels a bit lighter.
"The psychic," he mumbles.
"That's right. She told you you were going to be alone forever if you didn't meet someone by the end of this year, and that's the reason you signed up for that app in the first place. And a part of me believes that that's the reason why you even let her stay with you, why you were so willing to ignore all signs that something was up. Maybe you already knew?" His mother suggests and Renjun doesn't like it one bit how similar they are. Or maybe he does.
"How do you know me so well?" He whines, feeling a bit more confident about letting that kiss linger in his mind for so long.
"I raised you!" She chuckles and Renjun can feel himself smile. He thanks her again before ending the call before turning on his heels to head back home. God, he only hopes you're still there.
______
When Renjun unlocks the door to the apartment, his hands are shaking. It took him a good three attempts to finally get the key into the lock. Admittedly, he is nervous because, well, for obvious reasons, but he also isn't sure if you're still there. Your past of skidaddling when things get serious gives him every right to feel anxious as he listens for any signs of you still being around as he takes of his shoes.
He doesn't dare call out for you, instead he begins searching the place. He's not sure what's going to happen when he finds you since, well, it hasn't been nice of him to just leave you behind, but what was he going to do?!
His search is pointless, he realizes as he steps out of the last room, the bathroom, and you're not there. Honestly, he wasn't really confident that you'd still be there, but he had hope. What raises his eyebrow is that your stuff is still there, no longer cramped into the corner he threw them in a few hours ago, but neatly sorted and packed in case this was really the final day of your stay. But, point is: it's still there. Now why in the world would you head off and go your own way and leave all that behind.
It's then when the door is unlocked once again, your figure slipping in, red and puffy eyes meeting the puzzled Renjun standing in the hallway.
"Y-you're back," you deduct correctly, taking off your shoes and stepping inside.
"Sure am." Renjun isn't sure why he still sounds so pissed when he is here to forgive you. On a second thought, maybe he's too quick with it? Should he really listen to his mom and just- forgive you? Just like that? Oh, he already knows Donghyuck is going to put out a whole speech about how Renjun is "high on pussy" and "not thinking straight". But... he wants to. He wants to forgive you. He wanted to from the very first moment he saw that weird E-Mail. He just couldn't. And now he can... can he?
"I just went out to get your favorite snack from the little store down the street.. I thought it might... make you feel better," you finally reveal why you left the apartment and Renjun's heart jumps. "I dunno, I just- wanted to do something nice regardless of your decision." You nod to yourself.
Renjun just looks at you as you are unable to meet his eyes.
"They didn't have it, so I went to the other store, the one by the subway station, and they actually were out of stock, but I begged the guy to go check if they had some left somewhere," you inform him, shyly looking up at him, "my current state must've convinced him it was urgent." You smile weakly and motion to your face.
Renjun can't keep his strong demeanor up any longer. Two big steps (wow, he has to inform his doctor that his legs must've grown a few centimeters) and he's right in front of you, cupping your cheeks. "I love you," he simply says, your face so confused that you can only stutter a few syllables before Renjun crashes his lips to yours.
And, God, does it feel good. Honestly, he has so much more time to actually think about what you did, and what it means in the future, but he needs you here with him, right now, always and forever. Sure, it's going to take a bit for him to built his trust again, but for now, he doesn't actually care.
"I love you too," you manage to breathe out when Renjun parts from you.
"I realized a few things. And I may have been a bit dramatic? But, well, I also have a confession to make."
_____
Renjun pushed the admittedly tacky (and stereotypical? Renjun did get slight cultural appropriation vibes) curtain aside to slip into the dimly lit room, although once he entered, the aura of the room changed his mind completely. It's not that he had a sense for spirituality, but he has always been deeply interested in the matter, which made him glad his mother suggested to try it out once.
So this was it, Renjun's first Tarot card reading.
The lady had been super nice, Renjun could tell by one single glance she was competent and very able to perform this life changing reading for him.
"What question brings you here today?" She asked, shuffling her deck of cards which Renjun could not take his eyes off.
"Ask about your love life!" His mom urged beside him, giggling like the sunshine she is, and Renjun chuckled quickly before averting his eyes to look at the lady in front of them.
"Just- my future? If there is anything important I should know?" He decided since that would not exclude his mom's interests.
"Very well," the lady nodded and began shuffling the cards quicker, her hands rushing until one card fell out.
"Ah, The Fool," she explained, and Renjun frowned. His mother couldn't contain a chuckle. "Do not worry, dear. This is no description of your self. Instead The Fool can symbolize new beginnings. There is most likely change waiting for you."
Renjun felt his heart beat up his throat in a positive way, making him giddy to find out more. The lady shuffled her cards some more until two cards fell out at the same time.
"Here we have The Ace of Cups, upright, and The Lovers. There appears to be a new relationship waiting for you, a romantic one."
Renjun gently elbowed his mom next to him who seemed as erratic as he was right now.
"Oh dear, The High Priestess in reverse... this new relationship might be full of secrets, which can be good or bad, exciting or dangerous," The lady deducted, and Renjun gulped.
As she started shuffling again, three cards sprang out of the deck immediately, making even Renjun feel the urgency.
"Two of Wands, The Hermit, The Ace Of Pentacles," the lady read out, sounding worried.
"Why? What does it mean?" Renjun asked, worry also evident in his tone.
"Two of Wands might represent the urgency of this. You have to take action soon, or else – here comes The Hermit – you may find loneliness. The Ace of Pentacles shows us the time frame: one year. I get the strong feeling these cards are telling you to hurry finding that love, or you might be alone forever."
_____
"So basically that's why you've been this patient with me?"
"Basically," Renjun responds, feeling a bit bad about it, "I feel like I should've told you sooner?"
"Jun, don't worry. You're not the one who messed up here. If anything, this makes me feel a tiny bit better about how manipulative I've been..." You admit, frowning.
"Well, I'm not the only one calling the shots here," Renjun summarizes, "so I'm asking you: Do you still want to be my girlfriend?"
"Are you joking? I feel like you are," you say, a wide grin spreading over your face.
"Nope, I'm super serious," Renjun chuckles and pokes your shoulder for reasons he is not aware of.
"Wow, and here I was contemplating to offer you anal to make up for it," you joke (?).
Renjun blinks at you, his smile falling into a crooked smirk at the proposal of your kind offering. "I mean... is the offer still on the table?"
"You are such a man," you pinch him, but do not reject the idea.
"What if we did it right now? Right here?" Renjun suddenly grabs your waist, pulling you closer to his body and starts kissing your neck. His tone (hopefully) brings across that he's joking, that you obviously won't do it right now, but not never either, if you're still up for it.
"You'd be the first," you chuckle before kissing Renjun's nose.
"Stop making me hard," he mumbles before attacking you with more kisses. "I know it's only been like a few hours, but I missed you so much. Let's not fight ever again, yeah?"
"I agree," you say and Renjun pulls back to look at you. Maybe this is silly, maybe he forgives too easily, but it just feels right. The look in your eyes is so genuine, as was the offer of doing butt stuff, that Renjun is just pretty much sure that this was this one big thing every relationship has and now it will only get better.
"Or is there anything else you need to tell me," Renjun teases.
"Not a thing, you now know everything there is to know about me, which, admittedly, isn't that much.. do you have a confession to make?"
Renjun thinks for a second. "Well, just this one thing. Remember when we went to Jaemin's to talk things out? He was practically naked when I went in there and I may have stared a bit until I remembered that he is disgusting."
"Oh, word. His chest is super-"
"Hey." Renjun furrows his brows half playfully joking, half dead serious. "I get to say that. You don't."
You mimic zipping your mouth shut, locking it and throwing the key away. Renjun laughs and takes your hand in his to hold. "So, all this talk about anal and Jaemin... why don't we take this to the bedroom?"
"You really won't let this go, huh?" You smirk. "I'd say: what comes around goes around. Whatever you do to my butt, I'll do to yours."
"I believe I have never loved you more than right now," Renjun sighs before kissing you once again, on the mouth this time, and he feels like time stands still and rushes past double it's normal speed. His hands wander over your body, taking everything in, feeling you against him because you are his, once again, finally. Your hands are as excited touching him, and it dawns on Renjun that you're probably not going to make it to the bedroom, which is fine since he owns this entire place anyway (it's a rental, but you get the point).
Both of your clothes are off in no time, leaving Renjun's hands to freely roam over your naked skin, and it feels just as exhilarating as if you'd never had that fight. That stupid, stupid fight, right now, Renjun can't even remember what it was about, but that could partly be because of the lack of blood in his brain. His heavy erection is currently pressed heavenly against your lower stomach as you make out wildly, and Renjun can't even think about the usual foreplay he finds so important as you start rubbing your wetness all over him. He just wants to be in you, be connected to you, feel all of you against and around him, have the both of you desperately grinding and panting against each other.
Although, he feels kind of more dominant today, maybe there is still a very slight aftertaste of your betrayal lingering and he feels the need to show you that he can be in control over you if he wants to, or maybe he just feels extra manly and prideful today after you did everything to prove to him that you want him in your life. He decides that being on top would be enough to satisfy that need, so he gently pushes you back and lays you down on your back.
His tip brushes over your clit and you whine, a sound that is music to Renjun's ears, and when you speak up and practically beg him to just "put it in", who is he to deny you that wish?
Aligning himself with your hole, he gently pushes forward, allowing his tip to disappear between your velvety walls, and he loves how your eyes roll back and you gasp at how good he feels.
"Only the tip and you're already drooling," he observes, biting his lower lip smugly before pulling back out and repeating the action of fucking just the tip into you several times before giving in to your quiet pleas and pushes all the way in.
You choke on your moan at this, eyes glazed over with lust finding Renjun's under eyebrows furrowed by pleasure. Renjun can already feel you pulsating around him and God does that stroke his ego.
Although he decides he could be having more of an effect on you right now, so he places your legs on his shoulders instead of around his waist, and practically folds you in half to open you up for him so he can fill you deeper, so deeply his tip grazes at your cervix. To intensify your pleasure, his fingers come up to rub at your wet clit, three fingers massaging the nub in quick circles, the wetness allowing him to glide over the surface perfectly.
And your body seems to agree. In no time – Renjun's sure he must've set a new record – you announce that you're ready, seconds away from reaching your high, and Renjun thinks twice about letting you taste it. Well, you did kind of fuck up, but fuck it. Renjun loves the look on your face when you cum just too much to deny you it, instead spurring you on by telling you just how good you are for him, what a perfect girl you are and how much he loves having you cum on his cock.
Seconds later, you orgasm, clamping walls choking his dick in the best way possible, the look on your face and the moans sounding from your throat so pretty that Renjun feels like he's fallen in love all over again. When you come down, he praises you and kisses you, never missing an opportunity to tell you just how perfect you are.
"More," you whisper to him, eyelids heavy as your blurred view tries to find Renjun's eyes, and he briefly chuckles before granting your wish.
"Greedy are we?" He sets a faster pace this time, balls slapping against your ass where your wetness had already dripped down and probably seeped into the couch. Renjun feels so good, so happy, so fulfilled, and he is once again reminded why it was the right decision to forgive you. He is such a man, he thinks, and is reminded of a few minutes ago when you said that to him.
"Can you turn around for me, baby?" He asks, suddenly in the mood to watch your ass as he repeatedly disappears into you, and you comply, allowing him to pull out before getting on your hands and knees. Renjun grins seeing your beautiful ass in front of him, he gently slaps it two times before gently pressing on your back to get you to lie down for him again, though this time on your stomach. He enters you again, filling you up perfectly once again, like you were made for each other, and he puts his entire weight on you to be able to still whisper in your ear.
His fingers find your hair, not to pull, just to be there so you feel it, and as he rams himself inside repeatedly, he mumbles the dirtiest things to you, about how well you're taking him, how beautiful you look underneath him and how much he just loves to fuck you. And yes, he even goes into detail (damnit Donghyuck) about how perfectly tight you are for him. A hand sneaks between your body and the couch, fingers quickly finding your clit again and you whine.
"'s so good," you say, voice trembling, "love you s'much."
"I love you too, baby," Renjun responds, grinning ear to ear like a maniac because he just loves this effect he has on you. This might just be a fantasy, but he's sure he's the only one who could ever make you feel this good. And admittedly, even right now when you're not doing much except take it, you make him feel just as good.
"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum," he grunts, and you whine, cunt clenching around him at the mere prospect of him reaching his high.
"Me too, God," you manage to bring out.
"Where do you want it?" Renjun asks. Although he already knows your answer, he loves hearing you say it.
"I-inside, please," you mewl, arching your back a bit more to give him perfect access, "cu- cumming, cumming, cumming."
And just as you orgasm around him, walls wrapping around Renjun's cock impossibly tight, he follows suit, pressing his hips against your ass to fill you as deeply as possible. He pushes in a few more times to really get it all in there, have all his cum so deep inside you'll still feel it the next day.
"God, fuck, I love you so much," he pants, now a little exhausted as the adrenaline washes off. He pulls out, allowing you to turn around on your back and smile at him. God, he loves seeing you fucked out like this.
"I love you," you reply, then your nose scrunches and Renjun remembers that, when you shoot cum inside someone, it's going to inevitably drip back out, and he doesn't have to ruin his couch any more than he already did.
______
Renjun's arm is draped over your body, cuddling and talking in bed after the intense 4 rounds you just had, and maybe Renjun should've seen it coming, but honestly? How could he? So he jumps as he hears the doorbell ring.
"Who the fuck..." he mumbles as he gets up, puts on some underwear (at least) and stumbles to the door.
"Tell them to come back tomorrow, I'm not done with you," you giggle behind him as you slip into one of Renjun's shirts and a pair of panties you find laying on the floor. Renjun grins and throws you a wink before turning on the speaker.
"Hello?"
"Congratulations!"
"What the fuck are you asshats doing here?" Renjun groans and hides his face in his unoccupied hand. You have stepped over and are now pressing your ear against the speaker to be able to listen as well.
"We heard the news and came to celebrate?" Jaemin says.
"Actually, we didn't know how it went so we brought booze either for celebrating or for condolences. We took a wild guess," Donghyuck adds.
"How do you even-"
"Your mom told me."
"I don't think I appreciate you being involved with my mom..."
"Your words, not mine. Now open up."
"We're not exactly... dressed appropriately," Renjun informs and he can hear Jaemin howl and Donghyuck laugh.
"Let us in, we'll give you 2 minutes," Jaemin says.
"As if I'm going to believe you'd be passing an opportunity to barge in and see my girlfriend in her undies," Renjun says.
"Open up!" Donghyuck pushes.
"We just fucked four times!" You chime in, and Renjun isn't sure why you needed to clarify what didn't need to be clarified. Especially since, except for a few cheers that die down quickly, it's silent for a good 20 seconds until Donghyuck informs you that the old lady living two floors below just came home and most definitely heard that.
"Just let us in," Jaemin shouts right into the speaker and Renjun has to hold it away from his ear to not go deaf.
"Are you okay with this? I'm sure I could make them leave... somehow..."
"Sure! I could take two more," you joke and Renjun squints at you, making you teasingly roll your eyes. "Kidding."
"Okay, give us a few," Renjun says and just hangs up before they can complain. You both run into the bedroom and get changed into relatively acceptable clothing and Renjun has the decency to at least open a window to make the strong smell of sex lighten a bit before he checks in with you again, then opens the door.
Donghyuck and Jaemin's hollers can be heard echoing through the hallways until they finally show up at Renjun's door step.
"Nice work, man," Jaemin compliments as he sees the state of your still slightly tousled hair, and pats Renjun's back. They take off their shoes and let themselves in. While Jaemin stores the alcohol they brought in the fridge, Donghyuck skips into the living room to occupy Renjun's phone charger.
Oh, no. The living room.
Renjun darts after him, holding onto the door frame to not fall from the immense speed of his sprint, but it's too late. Donghyuck is already grinning at the used tissues scattered around the place and Renjun's underwear dangling from the uplight.
"You really are just high on pussy, it seems," Donghyuck teases, clearly hinting at how Renjun forgave you too (?) quickly. "You're not thinking straight. Or too straight..."
"You don't even know the whole story," Renjun defends himself while crossing his arms.
"Don't worry man, I'm not judging. I feel like this is the right thing for you," Donghyuck says and Renjun is surprised at his choice of words... such a... lack of disgusting-ness? Donghyuck even trots over and places a brotherly hand on Renjun's shoulder and gives him a smile.
"Thank you," Renjun says and means it. Donghyuck takes a few steps back, bows, then his eyes lock in on something on the floor.
"I think I'm taking these with me," Donghyuck announces before bending down further and holding up your panties with his forefinger.
"Don't you dare-" Renjun warns, but Donghyuck already started pushing the fabric into his pocket.
"Take it out," you say, suddenly appearing behind Renjun. Donghyuck seems taken aback, especially as you step over and grab his hair. "Give. Them. Back."
You pull hard, only once, and Donghyuck moans, but complies, and Renjun is party impressed and partly enraged.
"Starting without me?" Jaemin grins as he, too, has appeared in the room by now.
"Guys, I think we need some boundaries regarding my girlfriend," Renjun hisses through grit teeth. You agree, finally letting go of Donghyuck's hair who falls to his knees. Jaemin shrugs and sits down on the couch just as Renjun stuffs the used tissues into his pocket.
"What do you say?" You address Donghyuck who whines out a pathetic apology. You grin. "Sorry, this is kind of fun," you whisper to Renjun.
"I mean if you want to, you could talk like that to me every once in a while-" Renjun mumbles back, immediately feeling you cling to his side.
"Yeah?" You bite your lip.
"There was some talk about boundaries?" Jaemin recalls and you back off a bit. "When I can't have it, at least don't rub it in my face- unless you're going to literally rub it in my face-"
"I swear to God-"
© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.
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f4irys4n · 6 months
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notice me
huang renjun x afab!reader
tags gender neutral pronouns. best friend! renjun. jealous renjun. oblivious reader and renjun. they obviously have a crush on each other. some toxic masculinity (not from renjun). talks of past abusive relationships. renjun is constantly pining. lots of cuddles and fluff. kissing and making out. lots of groping. grinding. fingering. soft (ish) kissy and fluffy sex. renjun is very vocal. kind of vanilla. subtle sub/dom dynamic. unprotected sex (don’t do this!!!)
wc 2.8k
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you and renjun. you'd been best friends for years.
he never thought he'd find himself admitting this until recently, but jealousy was a constant feeling that clouded him throughout your supposed 'friendship.' jealous of all the others you found yourself thinking were more worthy of your time and affection over him.
first, it was your possessive, borderline-abusive ex. you'd dated this said guy for around half of your and renjun's friendship and the entire time renjun was holding back homicidal urges towards him because of the lack of respect this jerk had towards you. constantly belittling you, making you feel unworthy and tearing apart your self-esteem.
and renjun was there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. doing what any 'friend' would do. and it didn't help that you lived together, so he always had front-row seats.
this was around a year ago. and for this entire year, renjun has idly stood by and watched countless men whoo you, just leave you. resulting in the both of you being back to square one; renjun being madly in love with you, but too scared to say anything because it'll be 'too soon' and you being completely oblivious to this.
and nothing was different this time.
you'd just been on a second date with some guy you thought was oh-so-lovely and the so-called 'perfect gentleman.' but just like the others, you stepped into your shared apartment eyes filled to the brim with tears, causing renjun to automatically be on alert.
it was moments like these where renjun knew he could treat you so much better. as cliche as it sounds, he was confident he could. god.. he would treat you like royalty, as if he didn't already. he wanted to smother you with the love you always found it so difficult to find. and after hearing you complain about hook-ups after hook-ups, he was more than confident he could satisfy you there too.
the concerned look on the boy's face was enough to have you burst out crying, and within moments he was cradling you in a warm embrace. and all you could think to yourself was 'if only he could be one the one that wants me.'
he must have been the sweetest and most caring man you'd ever met in your days, and it was life's cruel twisted fate that had made him your best friend. yes, he could be sarcastic and snarky, even petty at times, but underneath, he truly was an angel in disguise.
"what's happened, pretty?" he spoke gently, hands delicately stroking your hair in a comforting way.
"you know when you think that someone is so sweet, and truly cares to get to know you, but actually just see you as an object.." you trail off, wiping you tears harshly from your cheek. "god.. im pathetic," you laugh lightly "crying over some guy that obviously doesn't value people outside sex."
your words made renjun frown, seeing how you tried to push aside how you were feeling and put on a brave face. "you're allowed to feel things, y/n. you're allowed to be upset."
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it'd been a few days since the awful experience you'd had, and renjun had your mutual jaemin around; telling him he wanted to game together but really just wanted his advice on his ever-growing feelings for you.
renjun rarely asked for advice, often being a pretty logical and forward-thinking person, but when it came to you and relationships, in general, he knew absolutely nothing. all he knew was that he was a fool for you.
jaemin had always been a master when it came to love and relationships, hell, he had people lining up to date him or even just speak to him most of the time.
"so what you're saying, is that you're madly in love with y/n?" jaemin asks, chuckling to himself a little.
"i didn't say that, did i?" renjun whined, "i said i liked them!"
"stop fooling yourself, junnie," jaemin teased "you're so obviously in love with them, you have been for years, everyone can tell."
"what? everyone knows?" renjun panicked "even y/n?"
"relax, idiot, they're just as oblivious as you are." to which renjun looked at the younger boy with a confused expression. what did he mean he was oblivious like you?
"y/n likes you too! you're both too stupid to realise it."
"then why are they trying to date other people?" renjun asks, just as confused as he was before.
"god.. you really know nothing," jaemin sighs, a grin still apparent on his face "the most probable answer is that they're trying to get over you, because like you, they think the other likes them so they're putting themselves out there in the hopes they'll forget about their feelings for you," jaemin spoke as if it was the most obvious answer ever but renjun would have never been able to piece that together or come up with anything like that without jaemin spelling it out to him.
"oh.."
"yeah 'oh'.." jaemin teased, rolling his eyes at his hyung.
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that same night, it was time for your weekly movie night and with the aid of jaemin, renjun had thought of the 'perfect' way to confess to you.
he couldn't lie, he was beyond nervous. what if everyone had read the signals wrong and you really didn't like him back after all? what would he do?
his body shuddered at the thought of rejection, anxiety smothering his entire body, he can't recall feeling so anxious in his life. but surely nothing could go wrong.. he'd picked out a perfect film for you to watch; lady and the tramp. he's not big on romance films (and neither am i lol i literally know non) but jaemin suggest to watch one to create 'the vibe' as he put it.
by this point in the night, you were already wrapped in 10 layers of blankets, you snuggled up to him, his arm relaxed on your waist and chin positioned on the top of your head. he loved the way you smiled at the screen at all the cute moments within the film and how when the iconic spaghetti scene came up all you could say was "me when," and all he could think was "us right now."
he'd been waiting all night to make a move, starting to become a little restless, constantly fidgeting. and this didn't go unnoticed by you.
"junnie," he almost melted away at the same nickname you'd been using on him for years "whats up with you?" you ask gently, snuffling a little to turn around and face him. "you keep fidgeting and it's obvious something is on your mind."
"oh, it's nothing," renjun shrugs off, giving you a small grin.
"renjun, i know you too well.. somethings off.. and not just tonight, there's been something on your mind for a little while now," you reply, softly playing with the front ends of his hair.
"it's nothing, i just-" "it's not nothing, junnie, you know i don't like it when you downplay your emotions or anything you want to say," you scold lightly. but you weren't wrong, multiple times throughout the friendship you had specifically said that you don't want him to downplay or hide his emotions around you because helping each other is what 'friends' are for.
"its embarrassing," renjun whines playing, flicking your nose.
"junnie," you reply a little more sternly
"i just-" renjun starts to fumble on his words "i've wanted to say this for ages, and i've never been able to actually speak it out loud.. and i honestly still don't." he paused, his heart was pounding as a confession was on the tip of his tongue but he also couldn't help but fixate on how you were looking at him. "it's just that-" he starts up once again before taking a deep breath.
"ah.. fuck it.." he mumbles before leaning down and pressing his lips softly against yours, and to his surprise, you moved your lips back against his. the kiss felt like it went on for an age, a euphoric haze clouding his mind at the moment.
"i've been waiting for you to do that forever," you smile up at him and he couldn't even speak from your words.
"yeah? you've been waiting forever?" renjun teased "then why didn't you kiss me forever ago?" he asked.
"because that's scary," you chuckle "what if you rejected me?"
"how did you think i felt?" he gasped dramatically, grabbing a small pillow from beside him and hitting you on the head with it.
"im not sure.. but i can bet i can tell how you feel now," you grin
"and what would that be?"
"that you want to kiss me again," you hum, leaning in to capture another kiss.
"maybe you were right." and with that, his lips were locked with yours once more, this time a little less soft. after a few moments, you gently climbed on top of him, lips never separating from his. despite having the night planned out, this definitely wasn't on his so-called criteria list, but he wasn't complaining, not at all.
this kiss progressively got heavier and steamier by the second, and renjun's hands were starting to wonder. starting on your upper waist and slowly trailing down until they were eagerly grasping at your waist, respectful to not go any lower but also begging to feel more. both of your breathes got heavier, biting and nibbling on each other's lips.
"shit-" renjun cursed under his breath, feeling his length twitch in his sweatpants, looking at you to see if you had noticed, praying to any being above him that you hadn't. but obviously.. you did.
"i'm so sorry.. fuck," he says, becoming flustered, cheeks reddening harsher than you had ever seen before.
"junnie.. junnie... it's okay," you reassure him, trying your best to quieten him but he still continues to babble on about how sorry he was and how he'll go to his room because of how embarrassed he felt.
"i don't want you to think that i only see you as-" "junnie," you interrupt and he hums up at you, waiting for you to finish what you wanted to say. "shut up," you chuckle, leaning down to kiss him roughly once more, becoming bold enough to grind down against the red-cheeked man.
a small grunt came from his lips, and his teeth latched onto your bottom lip. "god.. do you feel what you do to me?" he mutters against your lip, mirroring your grinding. you give him a tiny smirk before grabbing his hand and trailing it down to the waistband of your shorts. "do you want to feel what you do to me?" you ask, becoming more confident by the second.
"y/n.. i've wanted nothing more than to have the chance to show you how wonderful you are and to treat you so well," renjun hums "of course, i want to feel how i do to you," he chuckles, his hand slowly dipping down past your panties and to your core.
his fingers came into contact with your already-soaked hole, causing him to moan at the feeling. "this is what i do to you, love?" he asks, an ego-boost rushing through his body "i make you this wet? huh?"
you didn't even know how to respond, his small 'huh?' had your mind swirling, desperately in need of him to do something. so desperate you now started rutting softly against his fingers.
"desperate?" he teased, thumb going to rub circles on your clit. a smirk plastered on renjun's face at the small whine that escaped your mouth, and how your hips booked slightly at the smallest amount of touch.
"for you, always," you whisper softly, biting your lip gently.
his fingers slid further down, two slowly slipping into your entrance, eyes scoping over your face seeking your reaction. you whimper softly, and he groans in return at the feeling of your walls clenching around his fingers.
"god.. you're beautiful," renjun hums, digits softly moving inside you, curving to reach the exact spot you craved him in. "you have no idea how long i've waited for this moment, to hold you, to feel you and to worship you like no one else can," he continues.
you eagerly start to ride his fingers, the soft sounds leaving your lips like music to renjun's ears, spurring him on to discover more of the beautiful noises that could fall from your lips.
"junnie..." you start up "i need you.."
"you need more?" he repeats, in a slightly more mocking tone "whatever you need, my love," renjun grinned up at you, teasingly pulling his fingers away to undress his lower half.
he quickly fumbled with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, nerves causing him a delay in even getting a hold of them. by this point, he was rock hard and he couldn't recall a time he had ever been harder than at this moment.
"look what you've caused," renjun chuckles, the nerves even starting to reflect in his voice. he honestly hadn't been intimate with anyone in a while and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little worried about being intimate with someone after such a long time; what if you were disappointed or didn't really think much of what he had to offer?
"i guess i'll just have to sort it out, then. won't i?" you chuckle a little, beginning to aid him with pulling his sweats down.
not long after you were both stripped of clothes, and his length was lined up at your entrance, both of his hands either side of his head as he hovered over you.
“are you sure you want this?” he asked, wanting to check one last time for your consent before going ahead with anything.
you not softly; “yes.. i want this more than anything.”
and with those words, he slowly pushed into you, his mouth gaping open as he inched further into your walls. “fucking hell..” renjun muttered under his breath, finally bottoming out inside you. a desperate whimper escaped your lips and your hips hitched up slightly trying to create more friction.
renjun slowly started moving, thrusting his hips back and forth in gentle motions, biting his lip with every move of his hips.
“renjun,” you whimper, looking him in the eyes. he looked back at you, a small smile forming in his face as he leaned in to kiss you. the kiss was sweet but heated, matching the pace of his thrusts perfectly, swallowing all of your sweet sounds.
his hand slowly snaked down to press a finger to your clit, rubbing in slow circles to egg more sounds out of your mouth. “you sound so beautiful.. i can’t get enough, darling.”
when he thought he could please you like no one else could, he was right. you hadn’t felt so much bliss in so long, maybe you hadn’t ever experienced it at all.. you’d never had such an intimate, loving moment before, and it made you feel truly loved.
“you’re doing so well,” renjun praised softly, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear before his hips slightly picked up his speed “taking me so, so well.”
it wasn’t long before you were both gasping and moaning, chasing your high and getting so close to it. “baby.. i’m gonna cum soon,” renjun moans, hiding his head in your neck before trailing soft, wet kisses along it. “cum with me?”
you nod quickly, body subtly shaking at the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling in this moment. “i’m so close.. i wanna cum,” you whine gently “i wanna cum with you,” you continue softly, looking at him with a desperation in your eyes.
“let go, my love, i’ve got you,” he whines, eyes rolling back as he feels you tighten around him, his thrusts becoming slightly messy and stuttered. your whimpers got louder by the second before releasing all over his cock, eyes rolling back as the bliss took over your entire body.
“fuck- fuck-,” renjun moans, biting his lip as he watched you fall apart underneath him. he didn’t think you could get anymore beautiful but right now, you might possibly have. “i’m gonna cum really soon.. where do you want it?” he asks softly, trying hold back from releasing right there and then.
“on- on my chest,” you whine, walls still clenching around him only edging him closer to his high.
“fuck.. fuck okay.” renjun then pulls out of your wet entrance before quickly moving his hand up and down his shaft, thrusting into his hand as he did; slowing reaching his high, white ropes covering your bare chest as he lets out small grunts, pumping himself until he was dry.
“that was… that was.. whoa..” you chuckle gently, chest heaving up and down heavily as you attempt to catch your breathe.
“that was definitely whoa,” renjun giggles a little, bringing himself to stand “let me get you cleaned up, beautiful,” he hums, quickly running to get a wet cloth so he could wipe any ‘unwanted liquid’ off of your body.
renjun eventually was able to lay next to you, comforting you and cradling your body as he continued to praise you, slowly allowing you to both slip off into a sleep wondering where your relationship was going to go from here.
298 notes · View notes
j0hnj4ej3n · 1 year
Text
renjun: soulmates
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Word count: 1.3k
Warnings: confusing emotions, y/n almost gets into a car accident, quite a bit of crying
Notes: this is Renjun's part of 'nct dream as love tropes', enjoy!
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They say soulmates are highly connected on a spiritual level. You never understood what that meant entirely but you see a glimpse of it through your parents. They seem to understand each other without even having to tell each other anything. A simple glance, a smile, it’s like they really are the other half of each other. When your mum feels sad, you dad feels it before she says anything. Your dad told you when you were little, that soulmates can feel each other’s emotions. It keeps them in sync, connected. Some connections are stronger than others, it varies between every pair of soulmates. He says that’s why sometimes, you suddenly feel happy or sad even if you’re not currently feeling those exact emotions. 
But not all soulmates end up having a romantic relationship, some soulmates remain best friends. Some never really get to have a relationship. Some soulmates never get to find each other at all. You’re in college now and you have yet to find your soulmate. Not that it matters to you, you weren’t too invested into this whole soulmate thing like some of your friends. 
However, you quickly learned that your soulmate gets frustrated rather easily. You’d be fine, going about your day when you feel rage begin to bubble at the pit of your stomach. Sometimes, it gets so strong you want to scream at anyone who dares to get in your way. Then it fades away almost as quickly.
Renjun is rather annoyed with his soulmate (spoiler: that’s you). Because why is she always crying? This has happened ever since he was young. He was having lunch with his parents one day and he had the sudden urge to start bawling for no reason. But after a while, he stopped as if nothing even happened and continued eating. As he grew older, he got better at controlling your emotions. Whenever he feels that sinking feeling in his chest, he excuses himself to the bathroom to just let it out. But sometimes it catches him so off-guard and his friends were so amazed by it. 
Him and his friends were out and having a good time over drinks and Renjun felt that same feeling where his heart sank and his eyes were immediately filled with tears. “Ah shit, she’s at it again,” he mutters as a single tear falls from his eyes. “Dude, are you alright?” “Yea, my soulmate’s just really upset over something again. It happens…” Renjun gives himself a moment for you to be done crying, holding a napkin to dry his tears as they continuously roll down his cheek. “She seems really upset…” “She’s been crying a lot lately, if I’m being honest.” “Why don’t you check up on her?” “Oh… I- uh… I haven’t met her yet.” “Oh, what? And you guys are already this connected? That’s crazy.” “It’s a little embarrassing… I just cry out of nowhere all the time.” But Renjun does worry about you a little. The last time he cried this much was when he was a lot younger, so he wonders if you’re holding up alright. Sometimes, he feels sorry that he can’t comfort you. 
They say you’ll know your soulmate when you ever come into contact with them. Some of your friends said they knew at a single glance. Others said it was when they spoke to each other for the first time. The word ‘contact’ seems to come in many forms. 
You’ve been really stressed lately because of finals. And also because your manager from your part-time job is a pain in the ass. She’s making you work over hours and not paying you for them. Moreover, you’re doing a lot more than what you initially applied for. You’re finally closing the cafe for the day and you’ve never been more relieved. It was one of the most tiring shifts of your life. You don’t know if it’s because it’s midweek, you had to serve so many grumpy customers today. Everyone was so impatient, some guy even shouted at you to hurry up when you were swarmed with drink orders during peak hour. Towards the end of the shift, you were careless while taking someone’s pie out of the over and burnt your hand. 
The worse thing is, you can’t even sleep when you get home because you have a paper due in two days and you barely started it. Thinking about having to sit down to write an essay after one of the worst shifts of your life already has you close to tears. You’re so tired and the semester break still seems so far away. 
Similar to you, Renjun is finally leaving the library after working on his essay all day. His eyes feel like they’re about to pop out and his head is pounding. Before heading home though, he decides to drop by the convenient store to grab a couple cans of energy drinks since he ran out. As he’s paying, Renjun feels a familiar ache in his chest and he reckon it’s caused by you again. Recently, chest pains are perfectly normal occurrence to him. 
As he walks out of the convenient store, bidding the cashier goodbye, he slowly walks to the pedestrian crossing to begin walking home. The green man just turned red so he stops before the yellow line, waiting for it to turn green again. Renjun’s chest begins to hurt a little more and he can already feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. Just then, a young lady about his age walk past him and doesn’t stop walking. 
You’re walking home from the cafe and all you can think about is the miserable day you had, how tired you are and how much more you had to do. You’re about to cross the road when a hand grabs onto your arm and pulls you back. All you hear was a loud, “Watch out!” and the loud honking from the car that zoomed past just a few feet away from you. “Shit, what are you doing? You could have died!” You’re too shocked from what happened when you finally realise what just happened. 
You look to the boy beside who is still holding onto you tightly, he has tears rolling down his cheeks and you feel that boiling in your chest you know all too well. The two of you stare at each other and it clicks. Images of each other flashes in both your minds almost like you’ve known each other your whole life. He slowly lets go of your arm and the beeping from the traffic light alerts you two that the red man has turned green and it is safe to cross the road. 
“So you’re the reason I’m always crying for no reason…” Renjun starts as he wipes his tears and you chuckle almost sadly, “I’m sorry…” He laughs too, this is a little awkward. No one really ever teaches you what to do when you first meet your soulmate. “A-are you okay though?” Renjun asks as he calms down, looking at you with concern in his eyes. “Not really but… I’ll survive.” You reply, giving him a liptight grin. “Why are you always so frustrated?” You ask and it’s his turn to feel a little embarrassed. “My bad, I’m not the best at staying calm…” It’s silent again when the two of you finally reach the other side of the road.
“I’m Renjun, by the way.” “I’m y/n.” “Please be careful when you’re crossing the road…” “Right, thank you for saving my life… drinks on me someday… I work at the cafe just down the street.” You tell him as you point towards the direction of the cafe. Renjun nods with the prettiest smile on his face and you already feel yourself blushing. “I’ll come by after my classes tomorrow, will you be there?” “Yea, I’ll be there.” With that you two part ways, you’ve never been more excited for work and Renjun has never been more thrilled to attend his classes. An unfamiliar feeling erupts in both your chests, it’s a warm, fluttering feeling. As you two walk home, you both can’t help the smile that finds it way to your faces.
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neophele · 1 year
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Fanfic Clichés with NCT Dream
Pt 1: Mark, Renjun, Jeno
Pt 1 of Little one-shots of fanfic cliches with NCT Dream for valentines <3  sorry they are such wildly different lengths... I don't know what happened when I was writing Marks .... genre: fluff, tropes, cliches
Only One Bed - Mark Lee, 1k
When you and Mark agreed to do your friend a favour and help him move across the country, he’d offered to put you both up in a hotel for a night. It was a sweet gesture, one you hadn’t expected from the slightly bumbling, but definitely well-meaning, younger boy. So, after a long day of hauling boxes into a van, driving in shifts, and hauling boxes up several flights of stairs into the new apartment, you and you both thanked him for the kindness, grateful to not be sleeping on the floor as Jisung would be. Mark offered to drive the last journey of the day to the hotel, lazy silence marking the occasion as you tapped your fingers on the glass of the passenger side, attempting to trace the blur of bright red tail lights and blinking indicators. 
“I’m gonna miss him not living next door,” you sighed, lights disappearing as you pull into the car park.
“I know. It’s like our kids are all growing up,” Mark chuckled back, pulling up the handbrake and shaking his head wistfully. Our kids. You mused the phrase. Sharing anything with Mark was a dream, the boy who would always give and never take. Always ready to reduce his half to a quarter, if it made someone else happy. Sharing responsibility for Jisung’s move was even more of a dream. Partially because you’d never thought he’d actually move away
The receptionist presented the first problem.
“The booking is only one room, I’m afraid. We’re all booked up in any case.” Her tired voice gave you no sympathy, handing Mark the keycard and looking at you expectantly, urging you to leave. 
“That’s fine, right?” You squeaked, Mark’s warm hand placed on your elbow, drawing you to the elevator, eliciting a  pitch you didn’t know was possible. 
“If you’re cool with it,” Mark replied, giving you a sympathetic look. He cracked his neck, sighing out at the satisfactory pop. It had been a long day, and there was nothing that seemed better than falling into the confines of a 
The room gleefully presented the second problem. 
“I can go to the reception and see if we can change rooms?” Mark immediately offered. 
“They said they were booked up,” you sighed. 
“I can sleep on the floor?” 
“No way, you’ve been hauling boxes all day, and you need a good nights sleep to drive back tomorrow.” 
Mark’s round eyes shifted, his head turning, meeting your gaze in synchronicity. “So…” he trailed off, two pairs of eyes now trained on the single bed in front of you. 
“We can share a bed, we’ve been friends for ages, it’s chill,” you shrug. A cool demeanour hiding a blazing heart, and blushing cheeks as you turn to slip off your shoes, listening to the sound of Mark slipping off his jacket and laying it in the chair on the other side of the room.
The confines of the night presented the third, and final problem. 
Sleep wasn’t easy to come by, no matter how much your mind dulled and muscles ached. Something nagged at the back of your mind, a thread ready to be pulled and unravel the blanket covering your psyche. It was mostly Mark you felt sorry for, clearly being startled awake every time you tossed in bed, unable to rest. 
“You okay?” He finally spoke, voice gravelly, tired. “I can sleep on the floor, really.”
“No, no, it’s not that.” Chewing your lip, the worry that plagued you was starting to feel tangible. Mark turned over, facing you in the bed. There was still as much space as possible between you, a distance of awkwardness, a line that wasn’t so easily crossed. 
“What’s up?” 
“I think I’m worried about Jisung,” you breathe out shakily. “It’s stupid I know, he’s grown and all, but… like you said, he’s our kid, I’ve known him forever and now he’s on the other side of the country, living alone.” It’s enough to let tears prick in your eyes, knowing how much you’ll miss your friend, how much you’ll worry about him. And something more, something else. 
Mark chuckled lightly, one hand coming up to your face to wipe away the tear slipping down your cheek. “It’s not stupid, god, I’m worried about him too.” A wistful smile spreads across his face, the bright city lights slipping through the curtain just barely illuminating his expression. He sighs. “And I’m gonna miss him too. Now that it’s just us left in town, everyone going their separate ways, it’s… It’s almost too quiet.”
A small sob comes out your mouth, an embarrassingly forward display of emotion provoked by a long day, and even longer year at the thought of going back to a town devoid of yet another familiar face. 
“C’mere,” Mark mumbles, arms firmly wrapping you up and pulling you into his chest. Gentle humming and a hand stroking the back of your head calms you down. 
“Mark?” 
“Yes?”
“Are you going to move away too?” You look up at him, the concern on his face flashing a silent warning across your mind. “I mean, if you want to it’s completely up to you. But you’re just… You’re like my rock, and you have been for so long. I didn’t know what I’d do without everyone, but you’ve always kept me sane. So, I don’t know, just tell me if you plan on moving away, maybe,” you sniff. 
“I’m not moving away unless I’m bringing you with me.”
“Really?” 
“Really. I could never leave you behind.” 
He plants a gentle kiss on the top of your head, drawing you in even closer. Tomorrow, the burning questions of what you mean to him, and what he means to you, will matter. Tomorrow you can worry about untangling your legs, unlacing your fingers, and unclasping your stowed-away feelings. But tonight, you enjoy sharing the bed with Mark, wrapped in his secure embrace. 
Cuddling for Warmth - Renjun, 0.6k
A snowstorm in February might not seem unexpected, but somehow it caught you and Renjun by surprise. It was a sudden flurry of freezing air that swept across the roads, barraging the sides of cars and stalling engines, piles of snow already forming on the ground between the cars. In the middle of several lanes of traffic, fully ground to a halt, was definitely not the best place to be. 
“These cars aren’t going anywhere, are they?” You murmur, squinting as you try and make out how far ahead the traffic goes. 
“Nope,” Renjun shakes his head, popping the ‘p’. “We’re stuck out here.” 
“Shit.” 
The first two hours were bearable. Turning the engine on for five minutes every half an hour to keep the blood from freezing in your fingertips, idly chatting about anything and everything, catching up on the gossip you might have missed. It was fine – not ideal – but fine. And if there was anyone to be stuck in a car stalled on the highway in a blizzard with, it would be Renjun. He muses, pondering the greying skies and white snow reflecting the moon, poetic melancholy in the driver's seat of a dingy rental. 
The third and fourth hours are more difficult. To keep the car battery safe, you forgo turning the engine on and instead dig out the blankets in the boot of the car. You’ve resigned yourselves to chucking peanuts into each other's mouths, as both amusement, and a way to prolong the only food you have with you. 
The fifth and sixth hours are hell. Hell if it froze over, at least. The conversation slows to the same pace as the traffic, and your shivering bodies are too cold to give in to the tiredness tugging at your consciousness. 
“This is insane, what’s happening?” Renjun groans. The snow has piled up on the windscreen, blocking any view of what’s going on. You’d both given up on opening the door to wipe off the snow and take a peak at the equally annoyed traffic, 
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this cold,” you finally say, rubbing your hands together in a fruitless effort to warm them up. 
“Do you want my blanket?” Renjun offers, shooting you a concerned look. 
A moment of silence fills the frigid air before you have the bravery to say your next thought. 
“Can you hug me?” 
“What?” Renjun takes a moment to realise what you’re suggesting, a gentle smile replacing the confusion of furrowed brows in an instant. “Oh, yeah, of course. Good idea.” You shuffle back slightly, giving him the space to awkwardly hop over the gears and into the passenger seat with you. It’s complicated, clumsy, and humorous, the two of you unable to suppress the giggles and ‘ouches’ when you knock shins and bump elbows. 
Finally, he reaches to the side of the chair and reclines it, pulling you over his chest so you’re no longer pressed up against the door.
“It’s colder next to the door,” he murmurs, protectively pulling the blankets over your shoulders, making sure you are tucked in close to him. It’s marginally warmer with your shared body heat, and infinitely more comforting being held by Renjun. 
It makes the next hours much easier. With shared breaths and gently heaving chests, you both slip into the confines of sleep. Somewhere along the way, your hands had found their way into his, holding him softly as the wind howls outside, and somehow, you can’t help but wonder if these grey clouds may have a silver lining after all.
Spin the Bottle - Jeno 0.4k
Stupid, drunk party games were not usually this exciting. Funny – yes. Exciting? That was new. 
But, sitting across from a handsome boy with sculpted features, with a strong hand holding a beer bottle, every swig showing off his sharp jawline, his laughter filling the air with sweet density every time he opened his mouth, all you could do was let the eager hope bubble away in your chest. 
“Jeno, your turn!” An excited voice on the other side of the circle speaks, someone punching the handsome boys arm. 
Jeno, you capture his name in your mind along, with a snapshot of the crescent moon smile that enamours your heart. 
With a strong flick of the bottle, it’s spinning, round and round, your eyes following the bottleneck as it makes a circle. Another circle, you hold your breath, watching with blurring vision as it starts to slow down, until finally, it stops. 
Your gaze rises, from the sticky floor where the open bottle pointing directly at you lies, to the curious eyes watching with anticipation. 
“Oh?” He asks, cocking his head to the side. “I don’t think we’ve met properly,” he extends a hand out to shake yours, an unexpectedly tame gesture for a man you’re supposed to be making out with according to the party-dictated rules. 
“Hi,” you take his hand, which is firm and comforting, slightly calloused but not too tight, giving him your name and watching as his eyes twinkle with a mischievous grin. 
“This okay?” He mumbles, hand leaving yours to trail up your arm, fingertips ghosting the bare flesh as he leans in closer, reaching across to break the circle to meet your nodding head with his other hand. Gently, too gently, his hand tips your chin slightly, his warm breath fanning your face doing nothing to counter the heat rising in your cheeks. 
In a moment, his lips are pressed on yours. Slotting together like a missing puzzle piece, he moves sweetly and tenderly, nothing like what you were expecting from his outer appearance. It’s over all too soon, and an almost silent whimper leaves your lips in tangent with his. It draws a grin from his face as he leans back on his haunches, resuming his place in the circle. You’re blushing profusely – or maybe it’s the alcohol heating up your system – eyes fixed on the enigma grinning back at you. 
He ignores the wolf whistles, rising to his feet and downing the rest of his drink. 
“I’m gonna grab a refill,” he tips his bottle, nodding towards the kitchen. “Wanna join me?” 
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dawn-in-neocity · 1 year
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i love ur blog 💗💗 could u do a fluff falling in love with best friend renjun? thank u!!
thank u sm!! 🩷🩷
pairing: best friend! renjun x reader
genre: fluff, f2l
wc: 222
the time between your first meeting with renjun and him becoming a pivotal presence in your life was blurry and practically non-existent. with the amount of time you two spent together, it came as a surprise to no one that you fell for each other.
a coffee after class quickly turned into weekly lunch dates and friday movie nights slowly turned into sleepovers. somewhere along the line you’d built a collection of his oversized tees in your closet and his nails always had some type of floral design on them because of you.
it was never about the big moments for either of you, but the small, mundane things. like him always sending you pictures of the tulips near his house as he knew how much you liked them; or how you knew all his favourite songs so you could hum along whenever he would sing. falling for him felt natural and— despite the raging butterflies in your stomach every time he smiled at you— most of all safe.
you’re brought out of your thoughts by a hand waving in front of your face. “are you still with me?” renjun asks nervously.
“yes.”
“yes?” he asks hopefully, clenching the tulips in his hand tightly.
“yes, i’m with you. and yes i would love to go out with you.”
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i-luvsang · 2 years
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& ,「 missed you — huang renjun
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¿ 。′ gn!reader, highschool!au, fluff, hurt/comfort, cw: stress from school, familial pressure, crying, light swearing, wc: 0.87K !!a.n: for you @addictedtothesummernights !! i hope you enjoy my love !
god, why did i sign up for this?
that’s something you wish you could say as you sit here, stressed beyond belief due to the papers and textbooks messily sprawled across your desk. but, unfortunately, you can’t. because you didn’t sign up for it, in other words, you had no choice.
you really did not ask for end of the year exams, plus all of the abundant other stresses that they place on your life. there was no request on your part for hours upon hours of studying because if you don’t pass those exams with flying colors your parents will be forever disappointed. sounds like an exaggeration, sure. another thing you wish you could say, because it’s not really!
and god, on top of that, you really just can’t help that you’re a hormonal, easily irritated, sensitive teenager, which makes quite literally everything else worse.
but hey! wouldn’t some nice emotional support and cuddles from someone who’s already finished their exams be nice? yes. it would.
well, said emotional support and your sole cuddle supplier is gone!! your boyfriend has been on a family trip for the past week and to put it lightly, you’re about to snap. and though renjun has been an absolute angel about it, always there for you to text even when he’s busy, and more than willing to call at late hours to work through something you don’t get (and maybe work through a tiny mental breakdown as well), two days feel a little too long to wait.
it turns out those two days were a lot to bear, and you can’t help but feel as though you’re hanging on by a very, very thin thread, so much so, that tears already begin to spring into your eyes as you board the bus to finally see renjun. even the short bus ride between your house and his feels far longer than usual and you just hope no one is staring at your messier than usual appearance.
you push your way out of the bus when you arrive at the right stop in your excitement to see him, and jog down the block to reach his house quicker. yet, the moment renjun’s home comes into view, you suddenly begin to hesitate, all because you can feel the tears gathering again, and despite your wishes for a happier meeting today, you just know that you won’t be able to hold back from crying when you lay your eyes on his form again.
but, you continue down the street and to his front door, knocking a little sheepishly from the way you’re already sniffling a bit. fingers twiddling in anticipation, you step back a bit, waiting for someone to open the door. it only takes a few seconds for you to hear the sound of the door being unlocked and you take in a last dignified breath to steady yourself.
as the door swings open, you barely even have the chance to see renjun’s face, his arms immediately engulfing you in a tight embrace. the force of his hug almost causes you to stumble backwards, but you stabilize yourself by wrapping your arms around his waist with just as much fervor. the feeling of his arms around you again causes you to sigh in pure relief. yet the way his hand makes its way up to the back of your head to hold you closer in comfort and his whispered words into your hair of how much he missed you finally prompt a tear to escape your eyes. you can’t hold back from crying anymore, and considering the fact that you’ve been so stressed and tired and the way you missed him so goddamn much, it’s only fair that you cry into his arms for just a bit.
luckily, the admittedly embarrassing ordeal of crying on your boyfriend’s front doorstep doesn’t last too long because of the comfort in his softly spoken words and steady arms around you, and you’re able to collect yourself a bit. pulling back slightly from his embrace, you wipe at your wet cheeks and sniffle. you know that the light laugh he lets out is full of affection, probably because he’s always thought that the pout you wear on your lips is just a little too cute.
gifting you a small, sweet smile, renjun gently pats your head and lets go of you to grab your hand and pull you inside. he leads you right to his room and sits you down on his bed.
“wait here,” he tells you. “i’ll be right back with some water and a snack for you, k?”
“i– you know i can grab my own,” you protest, though only halfheartedly.
“of course you can, but you’re going to rest while you’re here, no questions asked,” he says, his voice both firm and loving.
you fight the smile trying to make its way onto your face and mumble back, “fine..”
at that, he shoots you that dazzling grin of his and makes his way out of the room. and even as his form disappears out the door, you know that, despite exams not quite being over yet, it will be far more bearable with renjun around.
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cherrybyunss · 2 years
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Stay Here With Me
RenHyuck Fluff, Light Angst + Smut AU
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And Donghyuck cried harder. “How do I face everything that happened to me, everything that I let happen… without it making me hate myself every single day?”
“Hey…” Renjun spoke in a soothing whisper. “You’re gonna be okay.”
===================
Ship: Huang Renjun x Haechan | Lee Donghyuck (NCT)
Word Count: 23.2k
Tags: Is there somewhere sequel, Healing, Past Relationship Trauma, Aged Up NCT Dream, Light Angst, Fluff, Smut, Happy Ending, Recreational Drug Use, Jungwoo cameo, Yangyang cameo, Past Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Past Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Link: ao3
A/N: This is a sequel but can be read as a standalone fiction. It’s just lots and lots of healing, and Donghyuck getting what he deserves, finally, after the wreckage that was Is There Somewhere.
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diorcities · 1 month
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  ── 🎏 ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ % asking for a kiss !
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nct dream sfw headcanon. library.
mark: “can i get a kiss?” he has gotten up from his nap and has automatically gone to the kitchen after hearing sounds coming from there, hugging you from behind and nuzzling his face on your neck as he circles your waist to get your attention. your hand rests on his cheek tenderly, bringing your lips to his in a tender, chaste kiss.
renjun: “can i kiss you?” nodding while feeling your neck burn furiously because his doe eyes are already staring at your lips. watching him take off his seatbelt to get closer to you, and your body unthinkingly leans back from the seat, looking at him absentmindedly wetting his lips before he brings his mouth to yours, slowly.
jeno: “kiss me” your hands wrap around his neck to draw him to you, but jeno doesn't give in to you, and instead folds his arms and throws his head out of your reach playfully. it's a big struggle and you're both laughing before he lowers himself to your height and finally lets you lead the way, smiling dearly in the middle of the kiss.
haechan: “gimme a kiss” he's cornered you between the wall and him and you're so flustered that he thinks it's cute after flirting with him not a minute ago. he doesn't wait for a reply, and pulls you to him by the waist, prompting his soft mouth on yours as he makes out with you intensely.
jaemin: “can you kiss me?” laying on top of you in the bed as a way to get your attention after spending too much time on the phone. he pulls away from you after having kissed all over your face, genuinely asking for you to kiss him now, but he's very impatient and starts to pepper your face again while you take your time to answer.
chenle: “do you want a kiss?” he mocks after catching you staring at his lips. you'd thought he was too busy ignoring you playing videogames to realize you were doing it, and now he's caught you red-handed and won't leave you alone for a long time, but when he grabs you by the back of the neck and kisses you, you think it was worth it.
jisung: “would you mind if we kiss?” in the dark and warm space of his room room talking about silly things as you fall asleep, without thinking starting to gaze into each other's eyes after going quiet, mesmerized. both approaching the other until your noses brush and your lips meet gently, adjusting to each other and starting to kiss.
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ohmygs-blog · 3 months
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“miss ur face..”
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ghostofhyuck · 3 months
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NCT Dream when you sleep on the couch after an argument.
Mark Lee
When Mark goes home and sees that you're snuggled on the couch, it'll break his heart that you decided to choose to sleep in the couch instead of sleeping in your shared room. So he carries you back to your shared room and even tucked you under the blankets. You woke up because of it and you were preparing for Mark to lay beside you when you hear the door closing. As you open your eyes, the other side of the bed is empty. Mark chose to sleep on the couch instead.
Huang Renjun
Renjun just finished taking a shower when he noticed you placing down your blankets and pillow on the couch, he approaches you and told you that you should sleep in the bed. You insisted on the couch because you're in his place. You two argued for a moment but Renjun was more persistent and eventually dragged you to your room and had you sleep on the bed, even blocking the door so that you won't leave. You two are not facing each other on the bed lol.
Lee Jeno
Jeno finds you sleeping peacefully on the couch and he feels guilty because he was the reason why you two had an argument and now you don't want to sleep in the bed. He knew that you're a heavy sleeper that's why he carried you back to your shared room and after changing to his sleeping clothes, Jeno goes to bed, pulls you closer, and gives you a quick kiss. He never lets go of you, strong arms wrapped around you. What he doesn't know is that you're awake the whole time.
Lee Donghyuck
It was time for bed and the room has a lot of tension. Haechan was about to go to bed when he saw you grabbing one of the pillows and your favorite plushie. You announced that you're sleeping on the couch and to Haechan's dismay, he grabs the pillow and plushie that you're holding, and then went out of the room. You followed him and saw him making a makeshift bed on the couch. You argued that you should be sleeping on the couch but Haechan shoos you away, convincing you to sleep in the bed.
Na Jaemin
You just left the room with pillows and blanket on your hand when you saw a familiar figure on the couch. Jaemin's on his phone, probably playing games. He glances at you and gave you a deadpan stare, you know that the two of you aren't talking and you insisted earlier that you sleep in the couch given that the two of you are in his place, but Jaemin went ahead of you. That's why you had no choice but to go back to his room.
Zhong Chenle
Chenle doesn't want you to sleep on the couch. It's small and lacks leg space, but you don't want to sleep beside him given that you two had an argument. But Chenle being Chenle, squeezed himself on the couch even though it only fits you. He snuggled himself there as if it was comfortable that in the end, you have to forfeit and agree to sleep on the bed, in a condition that there's a pillow wall between the two of you.
Park Jisung
This poor baby was worrying about sleeping with you two still not talking to each other. When he got home, he was surprised to see you sleeping on the couch. This is not what he wants, he wants you to be comfortable and the couch isn't the best place for you to rest. That's why he carried you back to your bedroom and laid you carefully on the bed. After doing his nightly routine, Jisung went to bed too, but made sure that he's not invading your space, and even sleeping while facing on the other side.
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naids4luv · 5 months
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! gossiping with the dreamies !
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mark, renjun and jeno :
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haechan and jaemin :
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chenle and jisung :
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lqfiles · 4 months
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nct dream — when you refuse their affection.
mark
mark was confused. the first time you refused his affection, he didn’t think much of it, assuming you didn’t notice his hand reaching for yours when you pulled away from him. the second time, his head tilted sideways in confusion as you moved aside, seemingly avoiding his incoming hug. the third time was when he really started to question everything, he was right in front of you, right in front of your face to be exact, why were you avoiding his kiss? “uhh.. did i do something?” mark had asked you hesitantly. his hands had returned to his side, even going as far as hiding them behind his back. you let out a small chuckle before an apologetic smile formed on your face. “nothing, sorry. i just wanted to see how long it would take for you to notice.”
renjun
it had been a long day and renjun was tired of everything. so he really couldn’t deal with your shenanigans today. he’d joined you on the couch, dropping his body weight onto your side before wrapping his arms around you and snuggling into you, a tired sigh leaving his lips. he felt you subtly trying to shuffle away and immediately sat back up. “what are you doing?” he questioned, a mixture of surprise and tiredness in his voice. you were caught off guard, not expecting him to notice the small movement. you leaned closer to him, shaking your head slightly. “no, please don’t misunderstand. my body is just really sore today.” you explained, grimacing as you leaned back. renjun nodded, deciding to give you some space. “get well soon.” seems like he wasn’t the only one with a bad day.
jeno
it had been a few hours since you and jeno hadn’t talked to each other, and you were not planning on facing him any time soon. still, jeno missed you, and guilt had formed inside of him as the argument the two of you had replayed in his head. you hadn’t even noticed him stand near the door to the bathroom where you were brushing your teeth. “hey.” jeno’s voice startled you and you looked to your side, contemplating on whether to answer him or not. “i.. i just wanted to apologise.” he took careful steps into the bathroom, standing beside you. you looked at him through the mirror and he did the same. jeno cracked a small smile, trying to reach for your waist but you moved aside, continuing to brush your teeth. had you looked up at the mirror, you could’ve seen the way jeno’s smile dropped and turned into an expression of hurt. “i’m sorry.. talk to me when you’re ready.” jeno had to hold himself back from reaching for you one last time.
haechan
you wondered how oblivious haechan was, why he wasn’t able to pick up on your sour mood as you joined him in his car. it was starting to annoy you that he hadn’t even noticed the scowl on your face, let alone question your silence. his reaction only started the moment he tried to reach for your hand, failing to do so as you pulled it away almost immediately. he eyed you quickly before looking back on the road. second try, he reached for your thigh and you leaned your legs away from him. “what the fuck?” haechan asked, appalled. “what’s up with you?” he’d retract his hand back to the steering wheel, waiting for your answer. “i’m pissed today, and you don’t even care. but you have the nerve to hold my hand?” you scoffed, looking out the window. haechan wouldn’t know what to say, choosing to stay silent for the rest of the drive, only muttering a small apology later as the two of you exit the car.
jaemin
jaemin was a very understanding person, if he’d say so himself. when you refused his affection the first time, he gave you the benefit of the doubt, assuming you didn’t feel like it. he wouldn’t bother you for the rest of the day. next day, he’d try it again, reaching forward to kiss you goodbye. you once again moved aside and jaemin smiled, again assuming you didn’t feel like it. but now on the third day when he tried once more to initiate a kiss, and you moved away for a third time, he realised he might not be as understanding as he thought he was. “are you mad at me?” he cornered you, a nervous smile pulled on his lips. “you haven’t let me kiss you in three days.” he explained, smile almost dropping. you laughed, shaking your head. “i have a cold, i don’t think exchanging kisses would be right. we can kiss next week hopefully.” you explained and jaemin let out a sigh of relief, glad the emergency apology bouquet in the living room wasn’t needed.
chenle
the moment you refuse chenle’s affection, he starts to question you and your motives. a frown grew on his face the second you waved him off after he dropped you home, not sparing him an extra glance as you entered your house. he texted you asking you what that was all about. you dismissed it and told him you forgot to give him a hug. of course, chenle wouldn’t drop it and assume you’re up to something. to test his theory, he’d increase his affection. trying to hold your hand, pulling you close by your side and more attempts at hugs. like he expected, you refused all of them and of course he could see the sly grin you were trying to suppress. “you really think you’re funny, don’t you?” he asked after a week, joining you in the kitchen. your smile grew bigger and you nodded. “very funny actually.” you laughed, reaching to pat him on his shoulder but he took a step back. “i can be funny too.” he says, leaving the kitchen with a victorious smile on his face.
jisung
jisung did not like this at all. you had opened the door with a surprised look, and jisung wondered if he interrupted something as you didn’t smile at him like you usually do. you two were sat on the floor in your room, eating the food he had bough you. jisung noticed the sleeves of your cardigan that were about to touch your food and subconsciously reached forward to lift it up. you flinched away and jisung flinched himself at the jittery motion. choosing not to point it out, he decided to join you in the living room after cleaning up. he sat next to you, and you moved away. he reached for your hand and when you pulled away, he knew something was up. “why.. what’s going on?” he asked while nervously biting on his lips. you’d look at him apologetically. “i.. i don’t feel too good today, jisung. i’m sorry for acting so cold.” you explained and jisung stiffened, instantly standing up and apologising. “i-i didn’t know, i’m sorry:” he didn’t think twice before turning around and leaving, he didn’t want to be a burden after all.
thank you for reading!
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midmourn · 4 months
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you storm out after a fight
♡ nct dream ﹒ gender neutral!reader genre angst warnings language and just general warning for angst note if yall have any requests let me know 🫶 ( library )
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polarisjisung · 4 months
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KISSES WITH NCT DREAM
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pairings: nct dream × fem! reader
genre: fluff
warnings: mentions of giving hickeys (for jeno) + reader is implied to have long(ish) hair + use of pet names
notes: a little different to usual but i want to post more often and I love reading these little headcanons! although I do need to switch it up from all the fluff 🫠
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MARK-cozy morning kisses:
mark loves lazy mornings, holding you by the waist to make sure you don't have a chance to escape the warmth of the duvet you're all wrapped up in. sure your hair's a little messy but mark loves the domesticity of waking up next to you. you'll make every attempt to make your way out of the confines of your shared double bed but mark ultimately wins, shutting you up with a kiss when he feels like you're talking too much
"mark baby, please I have work" mark could not care less— really, they should've made it illegal to work weekends
"you have a boyfriend too" he'd tuck the hair falling from your ponytail behind your ear and you're a sucker for the way he'd let his palm rest over your cheek as he pulls you into his chest underneath the covers
"markie, I'll get fired" you know you'd lost the battle the second mark let his eyes land on your lips, the ones that were still shining from the left over lip mask you'd applied the night before, but you still try to bolt out of the covers as fast as you can, undoubtedly you'll get pulled back in by mark just a few seconds later
"don't run from me baby" he's all pouty, you know its all just a facade to get a couple extra minutes in bed with you but saying no to mark just wasn't one of your capabilities
when you finally sigh in defeat,
"just 5 minutes" with a roll of your eyes, he's peppering sweet kisses all over your face, placing a couple pecks on your lips too
"I'll take 5 minutes"
best believe he'll take a lot more than just 5
RENJUN-stupid adorable smiley kisses:
kisses with renjun start out ever so gentle, a quick touch of your lips before he's checking to see your reaction. doesn't matter how long you've been dating, renjun still gives you butterflies every damn time, and he's the same with you, all giddy and kicking his feet, so you both start out so smiley against each other's lips, soft and sweet. on occasion renjun likes to go for deep, more meaningful passionate kisses, and the second you see his starry eyes staring up at you, grin formed into a soft smile, you know his hand is going to reach for your jaw and his lips are going to move rushed against yours
there's a sparkle in his eyes, a glint that tells you renjun won't stop at a few pecks— naturally you don't mind at all
"my love?" he coos, looking up at you, taking in your features as though he's trying to commit every detail of your pretty face to memory, your moles, the shape of your lips and your sparkling eyes, he would memorise it all in that very moment
you swear he looks at you as though you've painted the sky and hung the stars, and every time you catch yourself wondering what you've done to be lucky enough to deserve him
"I love you" as those words slip so effortlessly out of his lips, he'll guide you with a hand against the back of your head to meet his lips again, with more urgency this time
"I love you too" you'd breathe out, an oppurtunity you'd never miss
JENO-neck kisses
jeno loves your lips, kisses, pecks, full on make out sessions— he doesn't mind. but every time he finds your hair tied back and your neck on display he sees it as the perfect chance to show that you're absolutely not single, very much taken in fact. jeno finds joy in carving his initials into your neck or leaving small, unintentional patterns behind sucking and gently biting at the warm skin on your neck. the kisses eventually trail their way up across the bone of your jaw, his hands tugging at the ends of your hair as he twirls it between his fingers. jeno wants it all, quick kisses will do if you're out and about but the second you're home, kissing is at least a 20 minute task.
when you're out, be it hanging out with friends or running errands together, especially in the summer, when you like to tie your hair back a lot more frequently, jeno finds himself going absolutely feral, he's like a child begging his mother to go home
your back is against the wall the second you step through the door, jeno's lips impatiently capturing yours. he's a literal animal, he'll devour any lipstick you're wearing like it was never even there, before his kisses land on your collarbone.
"knew what you were doing when you tied your hair up baby hmm?" jeno likes to think you do it on purpose, to mess with him just a little, admittedly you do, but if you could be honest it had been solely unintentional this time
"come on jeno" your hands land on his chest, almost avoiding the hungry search of his lips for the skin of your neck "didn't know you were so needy"
you like to tease him, his cute agitated kisses becoming a little more intense at your words
equally jeno finds no shame in just how crazy he is for you
"needy for you baby, only you"
something about his urgency mixed with his loyalty forces you to forget about the hickeys you'll spend hours covering up over the next few weeks
HAECHAN- tip of your nose kisses:
haechan loves a makeout session as much as the next person, and despite his forward and bold attitude, sometimes the hard-core kisses just aren't what he's looking for. his favourite solution? kissing the tip of your nose, he likes booping your nose here and there as it is, but in his softest moments, where you find his eyes staring your way in pure awe, haechan's eyes travel to the tip of your nose immediately. it doesn't take long for his lips to follow— a tentative kiss to make sure you're in the mood to be absolutely bombarded with his love
forehead kisses are a close second, and eventually haechan gives in to delicate tender kisses on your lips, his fingers interlaced with yours
"have I ever told you I love you?" kisses with haechan are playful, so you can always tell he's in the mood when that adorable toothy grin shines it's way at you
"multiple times hyuck, every day actually" you'd respond, so giggly that he swears he's falling in love with you all over again, he's not sure if it's possible quite frankly, considering he thinks the same thought everyday
"that's what you deserve baby, I love you" he'd waddle his way over to you on the sofa, that smirk on his face that tells you everything you need to know— the kiss lands perfectly in the centre of your nose, your face soon hidden away in your hands
"don't get shy on me now baby, you know what I wanna hear" he's already trying to get another look at your pretty eyes and when he successfully gets your hands to slide down your face, places a chaste kiss to your forehead
"I love you too hyuck"
"can't hear you buttercup, you're gonna have to show me that pretty face so I can lip read" he's a little too proud of his words, and when you do let your hands down, his lips are all over yours
JAEMIN-lip gloss kisses:
jaemin is a sucker for those shiny, perfect glossy lips of yours, he's a sucker for you full stop, but your lips are practically a superpower.
now jaemin hates strawberries but that pretty pink lip gloss of yours with a little shimmer and that strawberry scent is his absolute favourite, he swears it makes your eyes pop 10x more it's perfect— you're perfect
he loves showering you with affection, be it hugs or kisses, holding your hand or whispering sweet nothings into your ear, jaemin treats you like an absolute princess and when his princess is all dressed up and so absolutely gorgeous, he can't help but ask for one thing for himself. not that jaemin doesn't love seeing you lounging around casually, he thinks you look gorgeous all the time, but seeing the confidence that oozes from your being when you're ready for a big event has his stomach doing backflips
his arms wrap around your waist quicker than you can twist the tube of your lip gloss shut— really there was no point going through your extensive lip combo routine because you should've known jaemin would eat it all up
"my sweet sweet girl, do you think I could have a kiss?" jaemin likes to get extra affectionate in these moments, clinging to you with a smile that reaches his eyes, just to make sure there's no way you can say no
"but nana my lip gloss" you're always trying to make excuses, really it was just because lip products were starting to get expensive, but you don't mind blowing more money on them if it meant you'd have a love like jaemin
"hmm, I'll buy more for you, just give me a kiss pretty please?"
you only make one more attempt at stalling, you know better that you're not winning this battle
"but nana it'll get all over you"
he shrugs, so unbothered you swear you hear your heartbeat ring in your ears
"I like it like that"
jaemin loves the way you tenderly hold his face before you seal his lips in a kiss, when you pull away his lips are glittery and pink just like yours, but his smile seems to have grown ten fold
"you look so pretty nana, my princess" he nods
"your princess, all yours" before locking your lips against his once again
CHENLE-spiderman kisses:
chenle loves the movie, chenle loves you, to him it just made sense and the spiderman kiss has easily become his favourite way to greet you as he walked through the door.
most days chenle would find you seated on the couch, finishing up a project for work when he'd get home, his hand would wrap under your chin and slightly over your neck with ease, lips locking with yours momentarily
"I missed you" he'd whisper, every time as he pulled away from you, placing his things down to a side and slipping into the empty space beside you. his arm would find its rightful place resting over your shoulder before his lips would brush over yours again
"I missed you too"
the both of you would bask in the warm intimacy of the moment, something between you, only for you, that the both of you would secretly look forward to day in and day out
to chenle that was enough, that daily welcome home kiss was practically routine and it was a routine he'd grown used to, practically to the point where when he'd walk in and you weren't working away at a desk or on the sofa, anywhere he could easily guide your head backwards and press his lips to yours, the rest of his day would be ruined
dramatic, would be the best way to describe a kiss deprived chenle
JISUNG-hand kisses:
to jisung kisses are one of the truest levels of intimacy, they come with philosophical and ethical discussions and debates, prophesies of where the universe might be heading in ten years or why you shouldn't take things in life for granted
jisung liked to think, and he appreciated being able to share and discuss his thoughts with you, to him that seemed like one of the purest forms of love, being unashamed to share even the most wild and crazy theories with each other
he admired your passion, the way you'd get lost between your own thoughts, in your own world as you explained a concept to him, one of the many reasons jisung loved you, and in those moments a press of his lips to the knuckles of your hand, already intertwined with his, seemed perfect, like the cherry on top
"I think it's crazy how we don't realise so much of what goes on around us" you're sharing one of those moments of yours again, when you feel like you'd noticed something that made a big impact on your point of view in life and jisung can't help but let that gummy smile flash over his lips, his thumb rubbing up and down the outer surface of your hand
it's beautiful to him, how your legs are laying over his and how you rest your head against his chest and his fingers rake through your hair while you find yourselves in this moment, for a second jisung stops listening, or at least attentively so, trying to take in this fleeting moment of what he thought was the most important part of loving someone
"sung, you seem out of it?" you'd ask the question so concerned, despite a little guilt that he hadn't been able to listen to you, jisung would smile softly and shake his head
"just thinking about how lucky I am to have you"
and his hand would lift yours, quickly pressing a feathery kiss to your knuckles
"I love you" he'd say, a phrase he didn't say often, scared it would lose its meaning, but one he'd say just enough that you'd known how much you meant to him
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marklease · 5 months
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asking bf dreamies for separate beds
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telling clingy dreamies you wanna start sleeping in separate beds. enjoy!
requests open, i’m back everyone! 🥺🫶
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marksmelodies · 6 months
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nct dreams reactions to meeting your baby who looks just like their dad for the first time
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dad nct dream x fem reader
warnings: suggestive, mentions of sex and pregnancy
minors dni
note: i went crazy on jaemins part bc he’s so girl dad coded
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mark:
“they’re here” mark looks at you
today was the day jae was going to meet some of his uncles, getting yourself situated on the couch holding your baby, mark let the guys in, immediately they all stand around in awe at the sight of yours and marks child
“woah he looks just like mark” chenle says
“well isn’t he the cutest thing ” jaemin gasps
“you wanna hold him?” you look to chenle as he seems completely indulged at the baby in front of him
“yeah of course” he says as you stand up handing him your child
“hi jae it’s your coolest uncle chenle, im gonna spoil you so much” he smiles as the baby looks up at him with his big brown eyes that look exactly like his fathers
“yeah right he’s going to love me more” haechan whines
one by one the boys carefully pass jae around
“mark your genes are strong, hes literally your spitting image” jeno says
“yeah man that’s my mini me” mark laughs
as the boys all get the chance to hold him you place jae in his crib, not long after he starts crying, mark picks him up slightly rocking him side to side calming him down
“isn’t he already the best dad ever” you say to the guys
“i remember meeting mark when we were kids and now he’s all grown up and a dad” jaemin says
“yeah man it’s really emotional seeing you two start a family together, it’s beautiful really” renjun states
“i still claim the credit of setting you two up so technically you all should be thanking me” haechan laughs
“oh shut up i would’ve ended up with her whether you were there or not haechan” mark jokes
you and mark look at your baby in awe
“we did good” he whispers as he kisses your head
“yeah we really did”
renjun:
after buckling your baby boy into his car seat you walk to the passenger side getting into the car “all set” renjun asks before leaving the driveway
you and renjun were going to introduce the guys to Chaoxiang, as you pull into the parking spot you get chaoxiang out of his seat before placing the binki into his mouth
“babe you have everything?” you ask renjun who’s carrying the baby bag
“yeah we’re all good” he says heading to the dorm, a few seconds after knocking an excited mark opens the door
“hey come in, we blocked off apart of the room and baby proofed it” he says leading you to the area
“thank you guys” you say as you place the baby carrier onto the counter
renjun taking chaoxiang out of his carrier caused him to cry due to the sudden movements but renjun quickly calmed him
“oh my god he’s adorable” they say in unison as renjun gives the baby to mark
“he’s definitely renjuns kid” mark laughs
“he has all of his dads features” you say
“even the eyebrows are the same” jisung laughs
as the boys are all talking to renjun about fatherhood mark sits down next to you
“i bet this month has been rough on the both of you” he says
“yeah it’s definitely a big change but i wouldn’t have it any other way” you sigh
“you have a beautiful family y/n i cant wait to watch it grow” mark says
“thank you mark”
renjun walks up to you giving you a quick kiss
“they’re already asking when we’re trying for another one” renjun laughs
“oh god i don’t even want to think about being pregnant again for the next 3 years at least” you laugh
“you’re doing such a good job mama, i’m proud of how strong you’ve been” he gives you another kiss
“thank you jun, you’ve been so helpful and supportive throughout all of this, i love you so much”
“i love you more sweet girl”
jeno:
you were currently at the dorms watching a movie with your boyfriend and his members
as the movie plays as jeno lays next to you rubbing your pregnant belly, feel yourself getting thirsty, looking over to jeno his eyes are focused on the screen
“i’m going to get some water” you say getting up and walking to the kitchen, chenle was standing by the microwave making popcorn as you tip toe around him to get a cup from the cabinet
chenle was facing you as you put ice into your cup, all of a sudden you feel liquid tricking down your leg and onto the kitchen floor
“oh my god” you lock eyes with chenle
“my water just broke” you say as chenle eyes go wide noticing the pile of liquid on the floor
“JENO” chenle yells on the top of his lungs
jeno quickly gets up from the couch walking into the kitchen, he knows exactly what happened by the look on both yours and chenles faces “ baby we need to go to the hospital” he says walking into his room quickly grabbing the bag you packed for when you went into labor
the boys are now up from their spots in the living room standing around the kitchen anxiously
“i’m sorry clean it up” you say looking at the liquid that’s still on the floor, grabbing some paper towels
“are you kidding y/n don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault, don’t worry about it” renjun says grabbing the towels out of your hands
“alright i think i got everything, let’s go meet our babygirl” jeno says to you as you head to the hospital
after hours and hours of painful contractions it was finally time to push, jeno standing right beside you as you squeezed his hand with every push
“you’re doing so good one more big push for me” the nurse says
finally the cries of your babygirl are heard as she enters the world
you look up to jeno crying as he smiles wider than you’ve ever seen, tears rolling down his face as well “you did such a good job, i’m so proud of you” he pushes the lose hair sticking to your sweaty forehead out of your face, placing a kiss to your head
the nurse looks at your baby in her arms and then to jeno and then at you“oh she looks just like her dad” the nurse smiles and handing the baby off you you “here she is mama you’re beautiful babygirl” the nurse says
“she’s so tiny” you stare at her in awe as tears continue to stream down your face
after spending one on one time with your daughter you give her to jeno as he takes her small frame into his arms “hi baby it’s your daddy, i can’t believe you’re finally here, you look so much like me” jeno giggles
after resting for a while the boys came to visit shortly, all standing in the hotel room looking at the baby in your arms
“jeno she has your nose” jaemin smiles
“and your eyes” chenle adds
“she has your lips and eyebrows too” renjun says studying the baby’s face
“she’s so incredibly beautiful, just like her dad” you say looking up at jeno as he kisses your lips
the guys get a chance to hold her, they all feel an overwhelming sense of love for her
“you’re already so loved” mark whispers to her
“we all promise to protect you sweet girl” jaemin says once the baby is in his arms
chenle takes the baby into his arms as he looks at her and all of her beauty, trying to blink the tears forming into his eyes he quickly hands the baby back to you before walking away wiping his tears
“awe chenle why are you crying” the boys tease him, he takes a minute wiping his eyes that are now red “ she’s just so precious, im so happy to be her uncle” he scoffs and shakes his head at himself for being so emotional
“she already loves you so much” you say to chenle as you and jeno try to hold in your tears
“you guys are going to be amazing parents” they all say
“such a beautiful family, im so happy for you both” haechan says
haechan:
“hey sweet girl” haechan says as he holds his baby in his arms as she looks up at her dad with big eyes
“what time are the guys coming over” you ask your husband
“they should be here anytime now” haechan says
the doorbell rings and the boys pile through the door waiting to meet their niece, haechan walks in either the baby as they all coo at the sight of her
“wow shes gorgeous” renjun whispers
“just like her mama” haechan places a kiss to your lips
“she looks a lot like me though” haechan stands proud
“yeah she does, she’s literally your twin” mark laughs
you all let them hold her and talk to her while you and haechan sit on the couch together
“we should let them come over more often, free babysitting” he jokes
“all jokes aside im really proud of you and everything you’ve done for our family, i love you” he says kissing your temple
“thank you babe that means a lot”
you continue talking to the guys as they finally hand your baby back to you
“i’m gonna feed her” you look to haechan before going into the nursery, as you finish up you hear the guys talking about you
“she’s incredible honestly, i could never have gone through what she did and the fact that i didn’t hear her complain about the pain she was in once, she’s literally the strongest woman i know” you husbands voice echos through the house
“she’s such a good mom already, you found a good one haechan im really happy for you and your new family” mark says
you walk out of the room acting obvious to the conversation you overheard as you burp your daughter
“hey love i can do that, why don’t you get some rest” haechan says taking the baby from you as he puts her over his shoulder patting her back
“okay yeah i think ill lay down for a few, i love you ” you say going in for a kiss
as you lay down in your bedroom your mind begins to wonder how lucky you are for such an amazing husband, you knew no matter what life brought to you, as long as you were with him everything will be okay
jaemin:
jaemin sits on the couch with his toddler on his lap watching cartoons
“layla baby come get dressed your uncles are coming over to see you and your sister” you yell to your daughter
“coming mommy” she says running to her room
once you dress layla, brush her teeth and style her hair you let her play in her room making your way to you newest addition to your family min-jun changing and feeding her, you speed walk to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast table and do the dishes before you can get yourself get ready, as you approach the table all the dishes have been cleared and the table has been wiped down, looking to the kitchen you see jaemin scrubbing the dishes in the sink
walking over to him you hug him from behind
“everyday you remind me of all the reasons i married you, thanks for cleaning up babe” you say leaning your forehead against his back as you take in a deep breath, he wipes his hands dry before turning around engulfing you into a hug “ you don’t have to thank me, you’re not responsible for doing everything around here” he kisses your lips
“oh i would so have sex with you right now if i could” you say laughing
“those days of having alone time are long gone” he jokes
“yeah i love my little cockblockers though” you say as layla comes running into the kitchen
you and jaemin look at each other trying not to laugh
“speaking of the devil” jaemin says picking her up ticking her stomach causing her to laugh
“i got it from here babe go get ready” jaemin says, you nod walking into you and your husbands shared room
taking a shower, getting dressed, styling your hair and doing your makeup all the span of 25 minutes is a new power you attained since becoming a mom
“layla come in mommy and daddy’s room really quick” you say as jaemin joins you walking to the bedroom
you both sit on the bed with her as she looks up at the two of you
“mommy am i in trouble” she asks
“of course not sweetheart, daddy and i wanted to talk to you really quick before your uncles get here”
“now you know mommy just had your sister a little over two months ago” jaemin asks
“yup” she smiles
“well your uncles haven’t met her yet they are going come over today to meet her” he continues
“even though their attention might be on your sister that doesn’t mean that they don’t love you just as much, the same goes for mommy and i, today we have to make sure your uncles are careful with your sister because she’s not a big girl like you are yet, she needs a little more help from us” jaemin says
“okay but will daddy and uncle haechan still play dolls with me” she asks
“of course honey, we wouldn’t miss it for the world” jaemin says kissing her head before letting her run off
you lay your head on your husbands chest for a moment taking a deep breath
“you were made to be a dad, it comes so naturally to you” you say kissing his lips
“i can say the same about you, you’re the best mommy i know”
you latch your lips onto jaemins as you stratal his hips, jaemins hands immediately going to your side and your ass
“fuck baby” he hisses as you grind yourself onto his clothed dick
“i want you so bad ” you moan as you nibble on his ear
“what’s up- oh shit” haechan says bursting through your bedroom door
“jesus christ” jaemin says as you two practically jump off eachother
“who the fuck let you in” jaemin says trying to palm the boner in his pants
“my sweet angel layla” haechan laughs
“i thought we told her not to open the door” you say looking to jaemin
“yeah for strangers, sadly this idiot isn’t a stranger” he says
“daddy uncle haechan is here” layla says running into jaemin arms as he picks her up
“yeah baby i can see that, why don’t you, mommy and uncle haechan go wait for the others to arrive, daddy has to take care of something real quick” he says as she runs off again, jaemin stares at you and then at haechan letting out a deep sigh before rolling his eyes heading into the bathroom
you cant help but laugh as you bring haechan to see min-jun
“she’s beautiful” haechan says staring at her
“yet again another mini jaemin” you say laughing
“she looks exactly like him” he says
“you said the same thing about layla” you chuckle
hearing a knock on the door you open it as the rest of the dreamies come flooding in
“uncle jeno” layla runs up to him as he picks her up, after layla says hello to all of her uncles they follow you into the nursery
“layla let’s go play in your room” haechan says
“oh my god i feel like i’m looking at jaemin” chenle says as he hold your daughter
the guys pass around your daughter as jaemin comes into the room
“how come every baby she pushes out looks exactly like you” mark laughs
“my genes are strong what can i say” jaemin shrugs his shoulders
haechan appears in the doorway of the nursery
“i wouldn’t be surprised if next week jaemin comes into practice saying y/n is pregnant again, i walked into them nearly making baby number three today”
“someone should definitely babysit tonight” jaemin says as he wraps his arms around you
“oh stop it” you say smacking his arm
“daddy” layla yells from her room
“coming princess” he yells back before leaving the nursery
“i pray everyday that min-jun doesn’t turn out to be another daddy’s girl” you laugh
the boys stay for dinner as layla sits between haechan and jeno, you excuse yourself early to feed min-jun, jaemin walks into the room as you’re feeding her
“my mom said she’ll watch layla tonight” he says excitedly
“why?” you ask
“i told her we desperately needed some alone time and she offered to take her for tonight”
“jaemin you seriously just admitted to your mother that you want to have sex” you say disgusted
“i mean you are my wife i don’t see what the problem is”
“geez you’re too open and honest sometimes” you sigh “ i mean if layla wants to sleep over there then that’s fine i guess ” you say
returning back to the table you hear jaemin asking layla about the sleepover
“a sleepover with grandma?!” she says excitedly
“yes sweetheart after dinner we can go pack your bag”
“yay i’m so excited” she says
“oh me too” jaemin laughs as the guys just stare at the both of you
“he’s absolutely ridiculous” you roll your eyes
“baby number three let go” haechan jokes
“oh don’t worry he’ll be wrapping it” you say loud enough for jaemin to hear as the guys nearly joke on their food
the boys all say their goodbyes to your girls as they head out
“oh thank god min-jun is asleep and layla almost packed” jaemin says walking back into the living room
“ i’ll drop layla off at your moms” jeno says
“really, that would be so nice of you” you say hugging him
“yeah no problem, enjoy your alone time” he says smirking as he pats jaemin on the back
“layla are you almost done picking out what plushie you want to bring” you husband yells
she comes out of the room with her big backpack on
“uncle jeno is going to take you to grandmas okay” you say your goodbyes as jeno carries her out of the house
closing the door you take a deep breath
“let’s go run a bath sweetheart, i’ll bring the baby monitor” jaemin says
as you lay in the bath together, jaemins arms wrapped around your waist “i didn’t know i genuinely needed this tonight but i definitely did, thanks babe” you say
“just wait till we get into bed, i’ll be giving you something else you definitely need” he says kissing your neck
chenle:
backstage after the performance you text chenle to come meet you in the hallway of the dressing room he walks out kissing both you and his son jiahao
“good job today lele you did amazing” you kiss him once more
“oh my goodness what does his shirt say” chenle notices your sons shirt
you hold jiahao up so that chenle can read what is printed onto the shirt
“you think you’re cool? well my dad is zhong chenle” he reads aloud
“haha i love it babe” he laughs taking jiahao from you kissing your lips
“let’s go see your uncles huh?” he says bringing you and your son into the dressing room
“oh my god”
“he so cute”
“let me hold him”
the boys all yell from inside the room
“calm down you’re gonna scare him” chenle rolls his eyes, handing his son off to renjun, the boys all take a good look at him
“chenle hes your carbon copy” renjun laughs
“yeah he’s got your big head” haechan says
“yeah chenle had the easy part in the making of him yet here he is, after being inside of me for nine months looking exactly like his daddy” you joke
“and you love it” chenle kisses you head
“yeah i do” you nod
“gosh he’s so cute” jisung says looking down at the boy
“of course he his he’s my kid” chenle jokes as jisung rolls his eyes
“sit down my love, rest for a little” chenle says to you, chenle joins you on the couch
“i’m so proud of our little family” he says as you rest your head on his shoulder
“i am too lele, thank you for being such a good dad ”
“i’m only half as good as you are babymama” you slap his arm playfully
“i hate when you call me that”
“i know” he chuckles
jisung
you and jisung were laying comfortably together on the couch until your daughter ha-yun started crying from her crib
standing up you walk over to her taking her out of her bed, sitting back onto the couch with jisung you take the binky out of her mouth as you pull your shirt down replacing it with your nipple
jisung smiles at the two of you as he places his arm around your shoulder
“i love my girls” he says pressing a kiss to your temple, once you finish feeding your daughter you pass her to jisung so that he can burp her
“i think the boys should be here anytime soon” he says getting up placing the baby over his shoulder as he pats her back
you get up and head to the bathroom making yourself look a little more presentable
“babe” you hear jisung yell across the house
“what” you yell back
“ha-yun threw up all over me and the boys are on their way up can you take her for a second” he says
you can’t help but to laugh a little bit
“yeah i got her go get cleaned up”
as the boys arrive you open the door for them telling them that your daughter is in her crib as
they all stand around her
“you can pick her up and hold her if you want” say sitting back on the couch
jeno picks her up rocking her back and forth
“holy shit it’s literally a girl version of jisung” haechan says looking at your daughter
“speaking of jisung where is he?” chenle asks
“ha-yun threw up on him right before you guys got here” you say chuckling
“good girl” chenle coos at your daughter slightly shaking her foot
“i heard that” jisung says walking back from the bedroom
“she’s so adorable” renjun says
“she’s jisungs twin” you respond
“i cant believe our little jisung is a dad now” mark says
“he’s all grown up” he adds
“i still remember the day jisung called me freaking out about him knocking y/n up” chenle laughs
“i wasn’t freaking out” jisung defends himself
“i’m pretty sure you were, i didn’t even get the chance to say hello before you were like ““ holy shit i got my girlfriend pregnant”” chenle uncontrollably laughs
“yeah well it doesn’t matter now i have my beautiful girls, my lovely little family” he kisses you
“you guys really did make a cute baby i cant lie” renjun says
“thank you” you smile
“i still refuse to believe my little innocent jisung helped make this baby” haechan jokes
“innocent is crazy, how do you think babies are made haechan” jisung laughs
“ew i really don’t want to think about you two doing it” chenle makes a face
“you corrupted him y/n” haechan laughs
“guilty as charged” you say kissing him once again
“i have a feeling that this is one of many babies to come into the park family” jaemin laughs
“we’re already talking about trying for another one next year” you say half joking half not
“geeze jisung, make sure to put a ring on it before the next one at least” renjun laughs
“y’all are gonna be real busy” haechan makes a grossed out face
mark hits his shoulder
“shut up dude you’re so annoying”
“i meant busy with two babies” haechan defended himself
“no you didn’t” chenle laughs
“enough about our sex life” jisung says
“you all will understand one day when you meet the one” you smile to jisung
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hope you enjoyed, this was so fun to write!!
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