#no I do not

[winged-bat]

Deals between siblings

Damian, sneaking back in with a cat hidden in his jacket:

Tim, who was banned from doing work very clearly working:

Tim: I wouldn’t tell if you won’t

Damian: Very well, it seems we have an understanding

—

*after they were both grounded from patrol*

Tim: If you say I was here the whole time I’ll hack the zoo camera so you can sneak in

Damian:

Tim: and edit the records so they won’t be able to tell if any animals mysteriously disappear

Damian: I find those terms sufficient

—

Dick & Jason staring at the Batmobile they just crashed:

Jason: blame it on Tim?

Dick: ..blame it on Tim

—

Duke:

Tim:

Duke: This never happened

Tim: yeah okay

—

Jason, who very clearly did something he was not supposed to do:

Tim:

Jason: I’ll buy you food if you don’t tell Alfred

Tim: Well what are you waiting for, I’m starving here

—

Dick: I know it looks bad but I swear it isn’t

Jason: sure I believe that

Dick: I won’t bother you for a week if you keep your mouth shut

Jason: make it a month and we have a deal

Dick: fine a month

#damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #richard grayson #jason todd #duke thomas #red robin #robin #nightwing #red hood #the signal #signal dc #batman #dc #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #do i have context for any of these #no i do not

[applestruda]

Quick create mumbo design bc I need a break from rendering

#no fr #the 3rd life piece im working on is kicking my ass #and watch it just be ok when im done #but anyways #create mumbo! #tbh this could partially work for a s9 design as well bc of the aged copper details #mumbo #mumbo fanart #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #create smp #my art #do i have any idea what im doing with this design #no i do not #character designs

[kangals]

me: oh boy I sure am glad I’m finally getting a puppy in a few weeks from now, now I just need to do lots of preparing and planning for when I get him later :)

breeder: hey do you want to pick him up in fuckin. 2 days.

#NO I DO NOT

[petitesmafia]

the ADA and Port Mafia being in conflict is actually so unserious bc they run into each other pretty often so it’s like. if I see you on the weekend I’ll let it slide but if we cross paths Monday morning at 8am prepare to BATTLE

#enas.txt #bungo stray dogs #bsd #i love thinking about them running into each other off the clock #like damn do i get paid enough for this shit? #no i do not #have a good day sir #don't let me catch u on a weekday tho

[hatchetmanofficial]

Wait kind of pet names does Stitches give to MC? Alan's is "Doe-eyes and Carver's is "Guiena pig" so what is Stitches'?

That's a good question.

#do i have the answer??? #no i do not

[silly-inksans-stuff]

Now, me showing my honest reaction after see my fsvorite ship looking at eachother for 1 second

"Deamn... couple argument"

-They look so homosexual

-c'mon Jakei please

....ignore the other messages xD

-WHAT A BIG CONFESSION

-They should kiss

era esperanzas en vez de ilusiones gente disculpen no hablo inglish

Y español tampoco, si es que escribo como la mielda 💀

-PLEASE JAKEI YOU CAN'T STILL HIDING TO US THAT THEY ARE CANON FOR GOD

-THEY ARE SO CANON

-I swear that i read "hopes" and i was like 🤨🤨🤨

-Cross and ink in their most heterosexual moment:

-actually in the next chapter they are going to kiss

-and it's going to be explained why they divorced

-IS JUST THAT THEY HAVE COUPLE DINAMIC I SWEAR I AM NOT CRAZY

-REAL

-for me Cross confessed there in a completly romantic way

-completely canon

-EXACTLY

-IT'S JUST

-HIS FACE AND WORDS REVEAL EVERYTHING

*Sigh* well, in conclusion,

CRINK.FUCKING. CANON!!!

#undertale #underverse #ink sans #ink!sans #cross sans #cross!sans #crink #crink ship #cross x ink #ink x cross #no i do not #accept #opinions #diferents to mine

[silverfoxstole]

I can’t help thinking that Stranded would be much improved if it was just a sixteen part sitcom based around these three having to share a flat.

Liv: What the hell are you doing? That’s the fifth toaster you’ve wrecked this month!

Eight: Oh, don’t exaggerate. It can’t be more than three.

Liv: And three’s somehow acceptable? What am I supposed to have for breakfast now?

Eight: Cornflakes? Rice Crispies? *gets excited* Oh, I know: Sugar Puffs! I love Sugar Puffs!

Liv: I am so going to kill you.

Helen: *rolls eyes, drinks coffee and refuses to get involved*

#for once i actually drew a background! #not overly keen though #everything i produce looks so flat :/ #oh well #my art #dw art #doctor who #eighth doctor #8th doctor #liv chenka #helen sinclair #big finish #stranded #do i have any idea what a dismantled toaster looks like? #no i do not

[draconym]

Me: posts in bird rehoming facebook group asking if anyone has a tame senior cockatiel that needs a new home

Seemingly the entire group in my DMs: do you want to buy my untame backyard bred baby cockatiels

#no i do not

[dujour13]

In light of that previous post (and thank you @archduke-enver-gortash for the honor) I feel I need to apologize. I’m so wrong about Woljif. Like on my own planet. For the fic writer who probably floods his tag the most that’s kind of bad and it’s crazy to me that no one’s sent me testy anons (yet). (btw please don’t I’m sensitive.) In my defense I do try to stay true to the essential Woljifness I love so much but:

In my head and now in a LOT of comms he’s blue. Entirely my fault. In his game portrait my boy is very definitely purple.

I had in my mind for a long time that his Cha was 8. Had to reload the game to check and it’s 10. Did my boy dirty.

Also for a long time I thought the outcome of his final quest depended on dialogue choices throughout the previous acts but was wrong about that. It only depends on choices during the final quest itself. (That would have been cool though. And also potentially frustrating.)

In the game he’s Calistrian but in my head he doesn’t think about the gods much at all except to feel ignored by them, and in my fic he attracts the attention of Shelyn, which somewhat corresponds with the Romance Mod at least.

My hc Woljif is not a virgin even though that’s apparently canon, based on one dialogue with evil!Arue.

It did finally dawn on me that my hc Woljif is demi. I hc’ed that he had some sub-par experiences before Sia and wasn’t really into it. Sia just hit all the right buttons.

My hc Woljif is a teetotaler which also contradicts canon.

Anyway I love him dearly in all his various forms in all his various universes and I hope the fandom forgives me for it & also for flooding his tag

#do i tag this? #no i do not #but i should put it out there at least #he's demanding an apology #i'm sorry woljif #💜

[happilyhadesbound]

mum and i started The Wrong Mans earlier today and i just put on Yonderland on the TV and she asked "Do you ever watch anything with other people in it anymore?"

#no i do not #the wrong mans #six idiots #yonderland #nico talks #nico's mum

[momentary-ecstasy]

Abbott Elementary has rocked my shit a couple times and that's not including the bombshell that is Lisa Ann Walter, but I think the most important line that has ever stuck with me was when Barbara says something like 'I just don't understand it' about a mother's tattoos and Ava says 'Well, do you need to?'

#do i fucking need to? #no i do not #i need to mind my damn business #i need to not waste mental energy trying to suss out reasoning where the reasoning is not mine to have #abbott elementary

[shiftythrifting]

This thing, found in Herman missouri

#shiftythrifting #thrifting #submission #Wanna Party with Johnny? #NO I DO NOT #johnny depp #cardboard cutouts

[tackytigerfic]

Weekly WIP Snip

Hello tumblr friends, i am sort of taking a break so i have missed loads of nice things but i did get to queue up some amazing wip snips today so feeling v inspired by all the brilliant stuff people have going on atm. If anyone feels like sharing a snip please consider yourself tagged and please tag me, it's such a pleasure to get to catch up on things when i do get on here, and i miss so much! I am sharing a snip from my eternally ongoing long Voldemort-wins AU. This one is taken from... a Wolfstar smut scene? Who even am I? Fair warning i have never really read or written this ship before. Also v rough and unedited. Figuring it out as i go tbh. Sirius and Remus are still alive and are father figures to Harry. In this scene, Remus is taking a break 😏 from research and training (they're all trying to help Harry get ready to fight Voldemort).

“It’s too hot for clothes,” Sirius said. He kissed Remus one more time, lips brushing through the thick hair below Remus's navel, and knelt up in the bed so he could get his arms around Remus’s neck. Then they were kissing, Sirius’s mouth still tasting faintly of toothpaste. He was greedy already, chasing for more when Remus tried to move them both further up the bed, his mouth opening hot, breath coming fast.

“If it’s too hot for clothes,” Remus said into Sirius’s neck, “it’s too hot for this.”

“Shut up,” Sirius said, smiling, and stroked Remus’s cheek. “We can take a cold bath after.”

He used the short “ah” sound when he said the word bath, a far cry from the days when Remus used to tease him about his posh accent, the long vowels so different from Remus’s own. Remus didn’t think he’d even noticed that he did it, this tiny dialectal quirk plucked out of Remus’s own mouth and used so naturally, as though Sirius had never been brought up in a grand London townhouse by a woman who overpronounced her Hs.

“Can we, indeed?” Remus answered, nosing along Sirius’s palm, following it with a gentle bite to Sirius’s wrist. “Anyway, I thought you were tired. You were asleep.”

“You are driving me mad,” Sirius told him quietly, and quick as a flash he wriggled out of Remus’s grasp and pushed him backwards, looking down at him in satisfaction for one moment where he lay sprawled back against the pillows, then straddled him, pinning him down into the tangled sheet that was still warm from Sirius’s body.

“Alright,” Remus said, feeling his breath coming quicker at the weight of Sirius above him.  “Tell me what you want.”

“Here,” Sirius said, and plucked at Remus's lower lip, sliding two fingers into his mouth, letting them rest on his tongue. “Suck.”

I'm tagging the people whose snips i was reading and some others who i know are writing, just in case you fancy sharing more! i live in hope! (no pressure though 😅) @citrusses @epitomereally @fluxweeed @lastontheboat @maesterchill @moonflower-rose @skeptiquewrites @stationintern @sweet-s0rr0w @thehoneybeet @wolfpants @writcraft

#wolfstar #i feel like i should have a question mark after that #IS THIS WOLFSTAR #do i know what i'm doing #no i do not #it's still a drarry fic lmao #mild smut? #is it even? #the prelude to smut?

[thecousinsdangereux]

the gods we can touch [5/7]

pairing: Ava/Beatrice (Warrior Nun)

rating: T

chapter word count: 7,035

chapter summary: 

“Hans, you’re my favorite dude. That isn’t even an exaggeration. Out of all the dudes in the world, you’re the best I’ve met.” She ruffles his hair as she slides past, drops into her seat with a loud oomph, and grabs a chocolate croissant from the bag, pointedly ignoring the plates and napkins Beatrice has prepared. “Huh, actually, Bea, do we need more dude friends? Fergus is fine, I guess. And that Miguel guy seems p — ”

“No,” Beatrice says curtly, and then takes a very long drink of her coffee. “I don’t think we need to go out of our way.”

Hans barely manages to hide his smile behind his cup.

notes: Hans POV time again and yes I'm perfectly well why do you ask

chapter link: AO3

playlist link: SPOTIFY

#avatrice #warrior nun #writing #listen do I want to talk about the fact that a dumb hans pov chapter is now my longest in this fic? #no I do not #don't look at me....

[tombofmemories]

Am I really going to drop almost $500 on a Lego set?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

#Do I have room for it though #No I do not #Literally have to buy a whole new piece of furniture to display this #Personal #Lego #Lord Of The Rings #LOTR #Lego Lotr #Barad Dur #Eye Of Sauron

[zeep-xanflorp]

peter capaldi looks more like rick sanchez than rick sanchez

#and yes i want to fuck that old man #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rick n morty #r&m #rnm #rick c 137 #rick c137 #rick #old man alert #ram #rickfucker #do i dare to tag this peter capaldi? #no i do not #whovians scare me