#nobody ends up dead

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

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Updates every friday!

#writeblr #writblr #nobody ends up dead

[marcobodtlives]

Mikasa and Annie on a Girls Trip™️ but it’s just them kicking people in the shin and shoulder throwing full-grown men.

(Reiner and Jean on Boys Trip™️ but it’s literally just them getting into a slap fight in the forest then sobbing over their murdered boyfriends)

#Bertholdt and Marco are dead so they’re on their own trip in paths rn #Connie and Sasha go on a braincell trip but they forgot the braincell and are just staring at a wall somewhere in the distance #Armin doesn’t go on trips anymore because he always ends up with broken bones #Eren is banned from trips because he won’t shut up about freedom #Levi will go on trips but only if you get him an exotic tea #hange will go anywhere and do anything no questions asked also sometimes this is very concerning how nonchalant they are #Gabi and Falco go on trips but they don’t get permission first they just rawdog life and run around without adult supervision #floch isn’t invited on trips ever #Erwin runs all these trips nobody can go on a trip without his permission #except his boyfriend. Levi can do whatever the fuck he wants #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #mikasa ackerman #annie leonhart #jean kirschtein #reiner braun #marco bodt #bertholdt hoover #or if you wanna be funky: #jean kirstein #marco bott #berthold hoover #jeanmarco #reibert #aot memes #aot #aot spoilers

[pittsburghhockeybirds]

The 2 times they thought of moments from the Hand Kiss™ ...I literally think about this too often

#Hey! Hi! I'm still here #I always end up coming back bc of them OF THeM aaaaaaaa #if EH has millions of fans. I am one of them.. if EH has 10 fans... I still am one of them..... if EH has no fans I am dead #the most underrated scene that I see nobody talk of is how Tewkesbury landed the hit AFTER he thinks back to the Gate scene #ok I'm done putting my thoughts into this post #enola holmes #enola holmes 2 #enola x tewkesbury #holmesbury #millie bobby brown #louis partridge

[cuubism]

exactly how and where do the Endless have their family dinners? hosting it in any one of their individual realms seems fraught with power dynamics, that's right out. it has to be on neutral ground. so... the human world then? meeting in a human restaurant would also prevent a fair degree of antics and fighting, as they can't be revealing all their Endless powers to a bunch of random folks.

this is all to say, i invite you to imagine Endless family dinner at Olive Garden.

#the endless #the sandman #listen it would be a BLAST okay #first of all NOBODY is dressed appropriately for the venue #desire looks like they're going to new york fashion week #dream ALSO looks like he's going to new york fashion week but in a completely different way #delirium looks like she's going to burning man. destiny just came from larping lord of the rings #despair may or may not be wearing bedsheets #and poor death in true eldest sister vibes is the only one presenting a reasonable front #destiny ends up ordering for everyone and the server is like uh is that okay? and they're all like yeah that's what we were gonna order :/ #delirium gets bottomless mimosas eventho its a. dinner and b. she looks 16. but no one is willing to stop her #death orders a whole bottle of wine for herself because that's the only way she's getting through this #it takes exactly 1 minute for desire and dream to start sniping at each other #desire *on their 3rd long island ice tea* i bet i can manipulate that guy over there into proposing to his date #dream *dead sober and regretting it* i bet i can make him dream of BREAKING UP WITH HER #(meanwhile the poor guy's having a stroke from these conflicting influences) #desire: well then i bet i can make him SCREAM about how he HATES HER #dream: well *I* bet i can make him STORM OUT OF THE RESTAURANT AND NEVER RETURN #desire: oh yeah you know all about that don't you #dream throws a drink at their face #desire picks up a CHAIR and hurls it back #death wishes she could collect her own life and leave for the sunless lands #delirium is in the corner like: manipulating one guy is easy! i bet i could get someone to burn down the whole restaurant! :D #before they inevitably get kicked out desire shoves 8 servings of breadsticks into their purse #the olive garden may burn down later in a tragic accident #who knows #and that night bizarre numbers of people dream of having shitty family dinner at a mediocre chain restaurant #for reasons unknown!

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: a The Umbrella Academy-themed tarot card, illustrated in a way that is supposed to resemble the style of the comics (though how well that is achieved is up for debate). It is Ten of Swords, featuring an illustration of Leonard Peabody slash Harold Jenkins who has been Very Killed by ten sharp implements, mostly knives (and one pair of scissors), impaled into his chest by Viktor's mind powers. He is slumped in a chair in his dining room, with blood coming from both the knife wounds and his hairline. His missing eye has a white bandage over it, which is slightly stained with the blood coming from his face. End ID.]

we take a brief interlude from the major arcana part of the tarot series to add a sneaky little bonus. i'm absolutely not doing any more of the deck that's outside the major arcana, but this one i had a Vision for. Or rather, i had a vision of leonard in the sword suit and picked whichever card's meaning that would let me stick the most knives in him. luckily, i got to stick The Most knives in him!

#tua #the umbrella academy #should i even bother to tag him lmao #probably #leonard peabody #harold jenkins #see nobody gives a shit about him his name doesnt even come up for me to click #cw blood #cw death #cw dead body #? #is that anything #tua tarot series #my art #sorry that i didnt add to this series for months and then when i did it wasnt even to actually continue it #dw i have another one thats almost done that i might even end up posting tonight if im really impatient

[ndostairlyrium]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this top ask your favorite mutuals. 💛

Tagged by @greypetrel <3 Thank you so much dear!! Hopefully the playlist I've chosen gets me diverse genres °-°''

"Unbroken (Hotel Baby)" by Monster Magnet

"Breaking Me Down" by Soil

"A Secret Place (2004 remastered)" by Megadeth

"Descent - Aftermath" from the DAI Descent DLC soundtrack

"Tooth Fairy" by Nanowar of Steel

...and it didn't. hahahah I mean, except the Descent suite which is like, my favorite soundtrack throughout the games << at risk of being controversial, I prefer it to the Trespasser one. They're both gorgeous of course, but I can't really command my preferences

I'm tagging: @underneathestars @daggerbean @layalu @m-bj @n7viper and whoever feels like sharing some music u-u

#tag memes #music #that album by soil is just tooo good #but let me be serious for a moment #the titan is the most frustrating boss in the games #corypheus is um #in italian we would say 'half a handjob' #a job that can't reach its conclusion and it's mediocre at best #difficulty speaking #like #with the titan you have limited space your warriors don't work unless their weapons have specific runes and the mages just go down in secon #s. I end up doing it solo every fucking time lmao #the first quarter of its red bar is empty and cassandra is already dead ankh is running and leaping like a fucking parkour athlete #and dorian is like 'umm perhaps I'll fall down the platform just for laughs and giggles' #last time I played descent my shoulders were so tense I had to stretch for 5 minutes lmao #corypheus was more challenging / intense in da2 nobody will change my mind #'because he's not the real villain gne gne' #yes he is??? #HE IS THE MAIN VILLAIN OF THE GAME #we prepare for THAT battle solas is like the prequel of the next game << #the guy was so underwhelming .-. #anyway end of rant have a cookie for your patience lol

[astranauticus]

Guess what i fucking did it

#rolling with difficulty #art i made #rwd #wow im so glad im finally free from this. honestly #surprisingly this did not ruin the song for me? #cuz last time i made an animatic (/first time i made an animatic) it was set to drowning sorrows by mao buyi #so. two for two on animatics using cpop songs nobody on this side of the internet has heard before #and i could not listen to that song for like a YEAR afterwards #killed stone dead by overplay #interesting. anyway #in my planning spreadsheet the last two frames were written as 'how??' for the longest time bc my original plans only went up until like #the end of the lyrics? #then i realised the outro for this song is fucking long so like i needed to add something there but i wasnt sure what for really long #basically my point is the last two frames of MR-SN was. absolutely not planned from the start but oh boy #not to like gas myself up but like #i watched this once through again after uploading to youtube bc youtube.. really did not want to upload this in full quality for some reaso #and that time around that ending really broke through the whole 'i always get really desensitised to my own art' thing #yeah. #Youtube #as a side note if you're curious the character behind VR-LA in the thumbnail is 马 -> #chinese name of the song #bc can you imagine how fucking ominous it would look if i just wrote HIM really big behind him #so no. just this once i'm going w the chinese option

[cure-stars]

BLITZ IT !!⚡🕹️

#mellohi draws stuff #hey i prommy i'm not dead i've just been drawing instaronpas and i haven't been posting them here because. well. i wouldn't get notes. #but splatoon 3 is releasing soon and while i have nobody to play splatfest with shout out to my fellow homies on team scissors 🙏 #anyway haha take a paruko i ended up drawing during the alphastar716 splatlocke stream #harmony #paruko #chirpy chips #abxy #splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon fanart #splatoon 3 fanart #harmony splatoon #paruko splatoon #blitz it

[crocomom]

I think it's funny that Doctor Who has had at least two companion exits happen because of memory loss when it's honestly a pretty terrible plot device. Two separate showrunners on two separate occasions looked at the characters they'd been developing for 1-2 seasons and went "yknow what this needs? Characters that haven't been changed in the slightest by what they went through because they can't fucking remember it"

#out of the two instances that i'm thinking of (journey's end with donna and ten / hell bent with clara and twelve) #i do think hell bent did it better #because 1) nobody had their brain forcibly wiped (although it was a close call) #2) the doctor is kind of a more...not gonna say static character because >regeneration but something adjacent to that #he has an arc and he changes but it's much more gradual. you can take away 2 seasons from him and leave his story mostly complete #as opposed to clara who would've lost most of her character development #and 3) there ARE residues of clara/their adventures together left in the doctor's memory but he just can't really access them #while with donna it was like. If You Ever Remember The Doctor Your Brain Will Explode And Burn Up And Kill You Dead #anyway. thank god for the new specials #dwposting #clara oswald #twelfth doctor #donna noble #tenth doctor

[justsome-di]

Hello! I was wondering if you would be okay sharing some of the resources you found when you were researching sex work. It's not extremely relevant to what I'm writing, but it would be quite useful.

Yes of course!!

There are some resources that I unfortunately didn't record--which was pretty silly of me in hindsight. It was a lot of posts on Reddit which is not a totally reliable source but still had some helpful info when I was just starting out.

There were some posts that were posted in, I believe, r/legaladvice which is where I found some valuable information like the fact there's crowd-funded groups that help provide sex workers with legal aide when they get arrested/charged.

There's posts all over the internet of curious people asking the same questions I had and sex workers who answered them. The most important thing to keep in mind is that no one has the same experience. Not everyone goes into the field for the same reasons and not everyone has the same types of clients.

As for the actual research that I did keep track of, I bought these wonderful books.

Playing the Whore by Melissa Gira Grant breaks down myths and misconceptions around sex work while digging into topics like violence against sex workers, stigma around sex, and etc.

Revolting Prostitutes by Molly Smith and Juno Mars is incredibly insightful. It goes into critiques of capitalism and how it effects sex work--mostly, if sex work is work and you need work to survive, then sex work is just as exploitive as sitting in an office for 8 hours a day.

It really took off some rose-colored glasses I had for sex work while I was writing the draft of NEUD that's on AO3.

And while I look back on this podcast with some mixed feelings, The Butterfly Effect by Jon Ronson does a deep dive into the porn industry (as it was about 5 years ago--a lot has changed since this podcast came out). It has interviews with porn actors, producers, and directors and iirc it tackles a lot of how free websites like PornHub have fostered an environment of pirating porn.

Full disclosure, I listened to this when it first came out years ago bc I was such a big fan of Jon Ronson. It was coincidentally the same time I had the idea for NEUD and definitely had some impact on the first bits of research I did for the project.

There are other books out there like We Too that I haven't looked at/haven't looked at yet. There's no shortage of stuff written by sex workers.

All in all, I recommend looking into research that's been written/collected by sex workers. With OnlyFans becoming so popular in the past few years, we've had a lot of vocal sex workers come forward with their experiences--both good and bad.

I hope this helps!

#nobody ends up dead #research

[spooky-donut-ghost-house]

Ed Boon better finally give us Ash for Mortal Kombat 1 or I am sending explosive dildos to his house

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #the evil dead #evil dead 2 #army of darkness #ash vs evil dead #ashley j. williams #ashley j williams #ashley williams #ash williams #ashley joanna williams #ed boon #netherrealm studios #I want ash ed not fucking peacemaker #I will take homelander and omni-man tho #but fucking give me ash we are owed #despite what you and bruce say I fucking know you canned ash for the joker because the joker film was coming out I fucking know this #so hold up your end of the deal AND GIVE ME ASH MOTHERFUCKING WILLIAMS #NOBODY ASKED FOR THE JOKER #NOBODY ASKED FOR ROBOCOP #NOBODY ASKED FOR RAMBO #NOBODY ASKED FOR PEACEMAKER #GIVE ME ASH YOU FUCK

[abutterflyobsession]

I pull out so many random facts about the making of Lord of the Rings that people usually respond with, 'how do you even know that?!'

oh, friend.

my brother, a most pretentious lotr fan, snatched up the extended edition hot off the shelf and for weeks it was the only thing on the tv all day long. I've seen every commentary, every special feature . . . twice. maybe more. I didn't have a choice.

#a butterfly obsesses #I've forgotten so much but still #maybe I just don't hang out with nerdy enough people and the rest of you know all this but: #billy boyd every time Minas Tirith is on the screen: I love Minas Tirith #Dominic Monaghan: shut. up. #sean austin forgot to put his waistcoat on for the scene where they all say farewell to frodo so they had to reshoot the whole thing #everybody had to cry again. but the second recording ended up blurry and they had to reshoot a 3rd time. nobody was happy with sean #when sam shows up to fight shelob his hand and sheathed sword appear first like the start of a duel in a western #that's actually peter jackson's hand #sean austin could 'see' shelob when they were filming those scenes. he could very vividly imagine her. #after he saw some cgi test footage of her he lost the ability to imagine her and had to work to get it back #dominic or billy I forget but one stole a skull from the scenes with the army of the dead #after pirates of the Caribbean came out they had to change the design for the army of the dead because the ghost designs were too similar #they built a huge dead Oliphaunt for the battlefield (peter wanted it to be bigger tho) #the people linking up plastic rings for the chain mail wore away their fingerprints on their pointer fingers and thumbs #they basically thawed a frozen stream so andy serkis could dive in and chase a fish in the ice-cold water #I want to say it was billy boyd who had to get a dental procedure done and opted to do with without being numbed #because he had to shoot a scene right after. however he sweated so much his hobbit feet came off #by the time they were put back on the medication would have worn off anyway #viggo mortensen got part of a front tooth chipped off and wanted to finish the scene before having it fixed but they forced him to go #when auditioning horses for the scene the horse kneels down to let the wounded aragorn get on a horse was disqualified for sit on the dummy #the HUGE ring they used for perspective shots

[trans-cuchulainn]

i heard a choir singing a kyrie eleison today and it made me wish i still believed in a god that could and would take mercy

#i saw a video a week ago of a terrified child that i cannot stop seeing in my head #over and over again i see him #i can't stop wondering if he is dead now #if he was afraid right up until the end #christ have fucking mercy because nobody else in power is

[talentforlying]

@thicketville: meta: did john ever want to go to college? what would he have studied if he did? if not, did he ever want any sort of higher education, like a vocational degree or apprenticeship? — META TOPICS.

i think college was always a very distant concept for him growing up: more 'something that happens to posh people in the big cities' than a potential career path. john's father was a dock worker before losing his arm and most of their relatives did labor-intensive jobs in and around either the coal mines or the docks, so for anyone who actually thought john had a future — which was very few people, if anyone — it was sort of expected that he'd wind up in the same realm of work. they could never hope to afford college, so cheryl wouldn't have brought it up to him as a possibility, because john was a dreamer of a kid and would've gotten himself in trouble with their father if he insisted on pursuing it.

honestly, john's childhood was lived one day at a time, and nobody really thought he was going to survive past the teenage years (least of all john), so he really never considered a future for himself at all, other than "one day i'll get out of here". and even that felt like a pipe dream before he discovered magic. these days, i don't think he spends time considering what might have been anymore, because the past is the past and it eats him alive already without him helping it along, but in a perfect, perfect world, i think he would've loved college, and maybe gone into creative writing.

#thicketville #i'm so very normal about constantine's childhood i swear :') #the fact that the issue 'dead boy's heart' that shows us his childhood is talking about both the story content And john.... #he was a dead boy from the second he was born. expected to die early or be in trouble forever. nobody caring which one it ended up being #but he had SUCH a big heart and SUCH an active imagination!! he was SO smart and well-meaning and compassionate!! #he was always making up stories and play-acting and reading and inventing new worlds to put himself in! he SO would have been a writer!! #but everyone told him he was dark. told him he was nothing. told him he was broken. and he started to believe it and become it #god i just think all the time about how everybody looked at him as a kid and went 'don't worry dear the world will break you soon enough' #and Nobody thought to try and protect him from that. ends me #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #( answered. ) THIS IS JOHN CONSTANTINE. FUCK OFF.

[srebrnafh]

I've had a little bit of meltdown today. A combination of several factors, some external, some internal, left me sitting there, editing volume 5 and having a growing feeling that the quality of the text I'm typing is falling.

The plot is childish, the entire idea is naive and contrived, the characters are behaving like puppets and I will never ever manage to live up to the promise I've ended volume 4 with.

There are a bunch of reasons to that, some being the fucking temperature and sheer overload with people (two crowded events last week), but some being the response I'm getting.

Not from beta readers, my alpha and beta readers are OK and give me the kind of feedback I need. That's why I want to have a quality product ready for them.

From the publishers. And I know. First world problems, and also, everyone has a sucky time trying to break in. I'm an unpublished debut, I can't expect much.

But what I would like to get is even a straight "no".

What is hitting me this June is that a year ago I was at an event, and had a chance to pitch the story to a publisher. And the conversation ended with "Here's my card, send me the text, I'll have a look". And I get it. I get it. They are busy people. But, seriously, I would have been grateful for a plain "no". Just show that you've had a look.

They apparently did not. And here I was, hoping that at least I will get AN ANSWER. It didn't have to be positive. At least I would have known there is nothing to be waiting for.

So yeah, among other shit happening, I'm now quite down, because it's been a year since I've send the text, so full of fucking hope, so happy that someone listened.

And it's affecting the way I look at my work, because I have a growing feeling that nobody will ever pick it up. So why bother. Why edit, why post it to betas.

(so I'm taking some time off from editing it, because if I start hating it, I will never finish)

#personal #original writing #srebrna writes #just general crap happening #and publishers being publishers #I'm not sure I have the spoons to try selfpub #And in Poland selfpub is seen as a dead end for a story #Nobody will ever pick it up if I go for selfpublished ebook #So #Kind of sucks #But then what doesn't

[flanphiptere]

Everything repeats and yet I still keeping missing the signs

#vent.txt #I want to be able to handle things better but I don't know how #I'm constantly fucking up and ruining things #I think I have what it takes to do something special but I know in the end I'll just be stuck at some grocery store or fast food place #Graphic Designer? Game Developer? Lead Artist? Yeah fucking right #I barely have motivation to draw anymore. all I ever want to do is play games #I'm a worthless nobody that no one would miss if I was dead. #I need a break