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#not mutually because of each other I just want to see how they look when they're flustered that's all
photogirl894 · 3 days
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🌹 Hunter
Red Rose 🌹
This is my contribution to the Clone Flowers Fic Event that myself and some other mutuals are doing this week! Naturally, I had to snag Hunter 😉 I got a little carried away with this one, but honestly, I'm super, super proud of it!!
*Takes place after the events of TBB s3*
Enjoy!! 🥰 (divider by @firefly-graphics)
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Being a florist had always been your dream. 
You loved everything about flowers ever since you were young.You had the luxury of traveling to several different planets and systems because your parents were traveling merchants, so you got to see the local flora of different places all the time. You started asking for seeds you could buy or, if it were possible, you’d dig up some plants to take home with you. As you got older, you planted the seeds in a big garden, dreaming of one day selling all these exotic plants you’d collected over the years and sharing them with other people. 
Over your years as a florist, not only had you learned various facts and lore about the plants and flowers you collected, but you had also learned the language of flowers and the meanings or symbolism behind a lot of them. It was fascinating to you how many different meanings were behind each flower, especially when there were so many. You knew which ones represented friendship, courage, fidelity, hope, love…there were a plethora of meanings and you enjoyed each and every one.
When it came time for you to leave home as an adult and start your own life, you continued traveling the galaxy and eventually, you decided to settle on the island of Pabu, a peaceful paradise where you could settle down with a place of your own with your own garden and where you could finally live your dream as a florist. The mayor of the island, Shep, thought that having a florist on the island was a wonderful idea. You were able to open your stall and show and sell all the flowers you collected. You even had little pamphlets that you printed and had on display on your stall for people to read and learn about the different flowers you had as well as the flower language and meanings behind each one.
You thought your life was already perfect...until a certain someone came into your life.
A small family of Clones had been on the island off and on for some time and you’d caught sight of them before. They piqued your curiosity, having never seen Clones on the island before. It wasn’t until they decided to permanently stay on the island that you got to see them around and got to know them more…especially one in particular.
Hunter.
He was probably the dreamiest, most handsome man you’d ever beheld, which was saying a lot considering the many planets you had been to and the numerous men you had seen. You had heard about the sort of person he was, kind and helpful, and you'd seen proof of that in the way he had aided the people of the island multiple times. You found yourself watching him from a distance whenever you saw him either on the streets or in the colonnade. That was kind of a problem because there were a few times he caught you staring and you had to quickly look away, the heat rising in your cheeks at being spotted. Though, you could’ve sworn there were times where you caught him looking your way, too, which only made you even more curious. Though, it was probably just your imagination. There was no way someone like him would be interested in a simple florist woman like you.
The first time you’d gotten to see him up close in person and talk to him, he was out walking with his younger sister, Omega, and their lurca hound. They were passing by and Omega had spotted your stall. She was excited by all the different, exotic blooms you had and wanted to look at them. The way she ran over, her eyes wide with amazement, made you smile.
“I’ve never seen flowers like these before!” she exclaimed, her eyes scanning the many that you had.
“If there are any you want to know about, feel free to ask, young lady,” you said to her. “I’ve gotten several of these from different planets and I can tell you a few fun facts, too.”
That made Omega even more curious. She pointed to an orange, star-shaped flower with a red center. “What is this one?” she asked.
You peeked over to see which particular one she was referring to and then answered, “That’s the Damsel flower. They grow on Endor and here’s an interesting fact about them: they can spray pollen that makes their victims shrink into the size of an insect.”
The kid’s eyes went wide. “No way!” 
“It’s true,” you said with a nod.
Then she pointed to a set of black flowers you had in a vase. “What about these ones?”
“Those are black Fire Lilies,” you told her.
“And these flowers?” 
“Those are Sachi blossoms. I found them on Chandrila and it’s believed that their petals resemble the same shape as canary-moths.”
“Oh wow! Ooh, what about--”
“Omega,” her brother spoke up, stepping closer behind her. “Don’t overwhelm the lady.”
You turned your head to look at him and you chuckled. “I honestly don’t mind. I’m thrilled when I get to share my knowledge of flowers with people, especially children.”
“Well, Omega here definitely loves to learn,” he replied, ruffling her hair and making her snicker. 
It was then Omega spotted another flower and leaned in closer to see it: a set of red flowers in an ornamental vase. “Ooh, what are these?” she asked.
“That’s called Queen’s Heart. They grow around the royal palace on Naboo,” you enlightened her.
As she continued admiring them, she commented, “I love the bright red color.” 
The lurca hound came over, sniffed the flowers and then gave a loud bark with a small hop, seemingly smiling as it wagged its tail. 
“Batcher likes them, too,” Omega added, petting Batcher’s head. Then she looked over her shoulder and said, “Hunter, do you think we can get these for our new house? I think they’d look great!”
He chuckled, putting a hand on his hip. “If that’s what you want, kid. I’m leaving the decorating to you.”
“Yes!” she said with an enthusiastic nod.
You grinned down at the girl. “An excellent choice. How many would you like?”
“I might take just one for now and see if I’ll need more,” she answered.
“Understandable. If you find you want more, you can always find me here,” you told Omega.
After giving them the total for the price, Hunter fished out some credits from a pouch on his belt and handed them to his sister. She gave them to you and you picked up the vase of bright red flowers, placing it gently in her hands. As she took it, she asked you your name and then thanked you after you told her. Then she briskly walked off with Batcher at her heels. 
However, Hunter stayed behind and watched her walk away, a proud grin on his face. “She's been excited about finding things for our new house,” he told you, folding his arms across his chest. 
“You guys are new here, right? Or, at least, you’re now staying on Pabu for good?” you inquired. It was then you happened to notice he was wearing normal civilian clothing instead of his armor like before. Another sign that he was adjusting well to domestic life on the island. Though, he'd kept his signature red bandana, which you figured was a must for his everyday look. Not that you minded. It was a good look on him.
He nodded. “It’s been a long time coming, but yeah…we’re here to stay.” 
“That’s wonderful. Pabu is an amazing place. I think you all will be happy here,” you replied.
A sweet smile directed at you crossed his face and you could feel yourself starting to blush. You shyly brushed a lock of hair behind your ear and turned away, pretending to be examining one of the displays on your stall to hide your reddening face.
“What brought you here?” you heard him ask. 
As you pulled out from a box some clippers and some flowers that needed thorns removed, you answered him while you de-thorned the flowers, “I traveled a lot through the galaxy, searching for all sorts of different and exotic flowers to grow and sell on various planets. In my research of rare flowers, I learned of the blossoms of the weeping maya tree and later discovered that there was one on an island called Pabu. I came here at first to study it and collect the flowers, but found right away that the people here were so incredibly kind and welcoming. It felt like a place I could call home, which was something I hadn’t had in a long time. It didn’t take long for me to decide that I would just settle here and finally pursue being a florist like I always dreamed of.”
“I guess it’s safe to say you really like flowers,” he commented.
You finished getting the thorns off one flower and gave him a nod. “I do. I really do. I’ve been fascinated by them my whole life. Now, I have my own garden full of so many different kinds and I love getting to share them with others.”
“You sell them to people…but has anyone ever bought any for you?” was Hunter’s next question.
You scoffed playfully in response, turning your attention to the thorns on another bloom. “Of course not. Who would buy flowers for the florist?” To you, it was a silly notion, but you thought it was still sweet of him to ask.
There was a brief silence as you worked and you almost wondered if Hunter was still there, but then you heard him ask, “Which one would you recommend? Or rather…which do you like best?”
Hearing that, you put down your clippers and the flower in your hand and looked around for the flower you wanted to mention. Then you came around from inside the stall and motioned to a collection in the front. “I love roses,” you told him. “As much as I love exotic blooms that vary in looks and colors, I'm a bit of a sap for simplicity. I have a few different kinds: Ithorian roses, Jade roses, Tarisian roses….” You trailed off as you came to a group of roses that were so deep red in color that they were almost violet or black. “These are my favorite roses, though. The Malreaux rose,” you said with a wistful smile, your fingertips lightly touching the petals. 
Hunter stepped closer to you to get a better look at the roses. “What can you tell me about them?” 
The combination of him being closer to you than he was a second ago as well as him genuinely wanting to know more about the flowers made your heart skip a beat. “Well...they don't have the greatest history,” you said. “They were developed on the planet, Vjun, by the Malreaux family, who were the richest family on the planet. However…there was a lot of Sith activity there and some very dark things happened, especially involving the Malreaux's, but I won't go too much into that. I just love their color. The rich, deep red is gorgeous.”
“I agree. I think I'll take one of those,” Hunter stated. “How much?”
You told him the amount of credits needed and he pulled them out of his pouch again, placing them on the counter of your stall. After that, he bent over and withdrew one of the deep red roses from the bin, examining it for a moment as he turned it a couple times in his hand. 
A pleased grin crossed his face as he gave a one word remark: “Perfect.” Then Hunter's eyes found yours before he did something that took you by surprise:
He held out the rose to you. 
Dumbfounded, you stood there, looking back between him and the rose, stuttering as you tried to respond. What was he doing? You didn't know what to say. 
Then he smiled kindly and said to you, “You said no one buys flowers for the florist…so then I will.”
You gingerly took the rose from him. “Hunter…I'm speechless. You didn't have to do that.”
“I know. I wanted to,” he replied. 
Flashing you a coy smile, he turned away and left you alone at your flower stall. Your eyes drifted down to the bloom now in your hands. You had held many a flower before, but knowing this one belonged to you and was meant for you as a gesture of kindness felt different and special. Knowing this, you couldn't help but smile.
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A couple days passed before you saw him again. He returned to your stall a second time with Omega again and also with his other brothers, Crosshair and Wrecker. He caught your gaze just as you were finishing up with another customer and you felt your breath catch at seeing him. Though, Omega calling your name brought you back to reality.
“Good morning!” she cried out, running over to you. 
“Morning, Omega,” you greeted her. “How are those Queen's Hearts looking at your new house?” 
Excitedly, she informed you, “They look great, just like I knew they would! Though, I think we're going to need more.”
“How many more do you need? I've got a few more available,” you said back.
“Could we maybe get three?” she inquired, holding up three fingers. 
You let out a small chuckle. “Is that why you brought all three of your brothers with you: so they'd all have something to do?”
“Very funny,” Crosshair sarcastically commented with a smirk while Wrecker laughed in amusement. That even got a snicker out of Hunter, too.
With that, Hunter offered you the credits needed for the three vases of Queen's Heart flowers and set them on the counter. You expected to see the three Clone boys grab them, but instead, it was Crosshair, Wrecker and Omega who picked them up. 
“We'll leave you to your other business, Hunter,” said Crosshair.
“Don't take too long,” Wrecker added. “I'm cooking tonight and you know I like to eat right away.”
Hunter rolled his eyes slightly. “Yeah, I know. I'll be on time.”
Both Wrecker and Crosshair and even Omega gave him knowing and what seemed like teasing glances before thanking you and leaving just you and Hunter there. 
“What other business do you have to do?” you asked curiously. 
He turned back to you. “I had my own things I wanted to discuss with you.”
“Me?” 
“I wanted to hear more about your travels through the galaxy and the different flowers you've collected. Whenever you're free to, that is.”
You blinked in surprise. Hunter was actually wanting to spend time with you? Surely, you had to be dreaming…yet you knew you weren’t. Even though you wouldn’t normally close your stall for a while, you knew you couldn’t pass up this opportunity. 
“I’m free now,” you said back. 
You could tell he wasn’t expecting you to make that reply. More than likely, he thought you would say you would be available later. “Are you sure? Don’t you need to run your stall for longer?”
With a snicker, you explained, “That’s one of the perks to running your own business: you can pick and choose your hours.” You pulled out from under the counter a wooden sign that said “Gone on break! Be back soon!” and put it up where people could see it. When you looked back at Hunter, you asked him, “Would you like to take a walk while we talk?” 
“I’d like that,” he said with a grin. As the two of you started walking, he asked his next question: “What is the wildest place you’ve traveled to collect a certain flower?”
You chuckled. “Oh, now that’s quite a story.”
“One, I’d be delighted to hear.”
During your walk, you both got lost in telling each other stories about both your adventures in the galaxy. You regaled him with some fun tales of learning about plant lore on other planets and he told you some of his times during the Clone Wars. You talked as though you had been friends for a long time. With him, you felt comfortable and almost free; like you could be yourself and share anything with him without fear of judgment. There were times you’d see him smiling at you as you talked and it only made you smile more. You felt as though you could’ve talked to him forever.
An hour and a half had passed before you both returned to your flower shop. However, you were just about to thank him for the walk when his commlink started to chirp. Then you heard Wrecker’s chiding voice come through, saying, “Hunter…you’re late.”
Hunter groaned in realization. “I’m on my way,” he responded before putting it away. 
“I guess I kept you too long, didn’t I?” you questioned guiltily.
“It wasn’t you,” he said. “I didn’t keep track of the time. I was enjoying my time with you.” Then he still smiled at you as if nothing was wrong. 
“I enjoyed it, too,” you replied, smiling back.
Then he perked up and declared, “Oh, I almost forgot.” He walked a couple steps over to the bins of Malreaux roses, pulled another one out and proceeded to hand it over to you just like he did the first time. 
“Hunter…,” you said, once again in disbelief at his gesture.
After you took it, he declared as he turned to walk away, “You’ll find the amount of credits needed for the rose included with my payment for the Queen’s Hearts. I hope to see you again soon, (Y/N).”
Once again, he left you alone at your stall with nothing but a red rose in your hands and a smile on your face.
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A few days later, you arrived at your little shop early in the morning to get things ready for the day and were pleasantly surprised to see a third singular Malreaux rose on the counter with some credits next to it.
Hunter had come by before you to leave you your favorite flower once again. 
Two times before had been one thing, but now it had happened a third time…which made you begin to wonder. Your thoughts drifted to your knowledge of the flower language, specifically to the meanings behind roses.
Roses of the red variety like the Malreaux rose were usually given as symbols of love, affection and desire.
Did Hunter realize this?
You had said that the Malreaux rose was your favorite flower, after all. Maybe he was just simply continuing to get that one because of that, but there was still something in you that thought maybe it was best if he didn’t. There were other people on the island that knew of the language of flowers, either from you or they already had prior knowledge of it, and if they saw Hunter giving you these flowers that were meant as a sign of affection and that wasn’t his true intention, then rumors could potentially spark from that. You didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation, especially since it was clear sometimes that he wasn’t entirely familiar with how to be a part of a society like here on Pabu, having been a soldier most of his life. More than likely, he was unfamiliar with these kinds of things and was just trying to be friendly.
Though…it would be amazing if he was expressing interest in you…but that was a long shot in your eyes.
Even still…that didn’t stop you from keeping the three roses you’d received from him in their own special little vase at home, one you kept by the front door so you could place the roses inside as you walked in. 
The next time you saw Hunter or were able to get him alone, you would talk to him about it and set the record straight.
As luck would have it, you saw him the next day as you were closing up. It had been a busy day for you, having had to make a few flower crowns for a group of girls. The mayor’s daughter, Lyana, had wanted a party with her friends and you had offered to make all of them flower crowns, Omega included. For you, they were easy to make and took no time at all. Lyana and Omega came to your shop, both of them still wearing their colorful blooms in their hair. Hunter followed not far behind them.
“Thank you so much for the crowns!” Lyana exclaimed happily. “They turned out great!”
“We’ve all gotten a lot of compliments on them today,” added Omega.
You giggled at their excitement. “I’m glad you love them. They look perfect on both of you.”
With a devious smirk, Omega commented to you, “You should make one for Hunter.”
Lyana laughed and Hunter gave Omega a teasing grin as well as a look that said, “Don’t even think about it.”
After chuckling yourself, you responded, “As hilarious as that would be, I’m inclined to think Hunter doesn’t want one.”
“Well, Wrecker definitely does. Will you make one for him then?” asked Omega.
“I can bring one by tomorrow,” you replied, amused at the image of Wrecker wearing a flower crown and already planning out what would look great on him. “Right now, I’m heading home for the evening.”
“Okay. Have a good night,” said Omega as she and Lyana waved you goodbye and ran off in the opposite direction.
Yet again, there was now just you and Hunter.
You pulled your shawl up over your shoulders and you heard Hunter ask you, “May I walk you home?”
Him being so charming certainly wasn’t making things easier for you. You were so crazy about him and you had loved the time you’d already gotten to spend with him before, even if it hadn’t been much. You knew you had to talk to him about the roses, but you didn’t want to yet. 
“You may,” you accepted, thinking that you could have your conversation later.
He grinned at you before gesturing out with his hand and saying, “Lead the way.”
You started to walk away and noticed at first that Hunter wasn’t next to you, but then he suddenly appeared beside you like it took him a second to catch up. Waving that off as just nothing, you were content to just walk with him back to your house.
“The crowns you made were impressive. All the girls loved them,” he told you.
“Thank you,” you said. “I’ve gotten pretty good at making those and I thought it would make their party more fun. I’m happy they enjoyed them.”
“Are there other things you like to do or make with your flowers?” he asked.
You answered, “I like making bouquets or flower arrangements for things like festivals or parties. The usual things like that.”
“Are they hard to make?” 
“Mmm…they were at first, but the more I practiced, the easier they got.”
“I’m glad. I would love to see what you’ve made sometime, if you have any.”
You smiled and blushed at the attention he was giving you. Like always, you convinced yourself he was just being friendly, even though it meant a lot more to you than he knew. “Sure. I’d be happy to show you,” you said back. 
A few minutes passed and you saw your house coming into view. Even though it was a short walk, it still made you sad that your time with Hunter was about to end for the night. You had the thought of maybe inviting him inside for some tea just so you two could continue talking and spending time together, but you figured that might seem too forward. You just didn’t want to say good night yet.
The two of you reached the end of the pathway leading up to your house and you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that you needed to talk to him now about the roses. Hopefully, this wouldn’t make things too awkward, especially after a nice walk home with him, but it needed to be done.
You turned to face him and you asked him, “Hunter…why have you been giving me all those roses?”
His head tilted, confused. “It’s like I said the first time: you said no one buys flowers for you and I thought you deserved to feel special, so I figured giving you your favorite flower would be nice.”
“Yes, but…do you know the symbolism behind giving someone a red rose?” Your hands fidgeted nervously as you prepared to explain it to him. “Red roses are usually symbols of romantic interest, attraction and affection.”
He looked at you plainly for a moment before he sighed quietly and a content smile crossed his face. “Finally caught on, have you?”
Your head reared back slightly, taken aback. “Wait…you did know?” you asked in disbelief.
His smile only widened as he reached into one of his pockets and withdrew a folded piece of paper that you recognized and held it up for you to see.
“You…you took one of my flower pamphlets?” 
Nodding in affirmation, he explained, “The first time, I simply wanted to give you your favorite flower. Then I took one of the pamphlets when you weren’t looking because I was genuinely curious. It was just a happy coincidence that the kind of flower I wanted to give you to…express my interest and affection happened to be that same flower you liked.” He put the pamphlet back in his pocket, stole a look at your still shocked face and then turned away shyly. “I’m still new to things like this and I wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it, having been used to the language of war for so long…so I thought maybe saying it in a language you understood best would eventually get my point across.” His eyes returned to you, awaiting your response.
Your hand came up to your chest, feeling your rapidly increasing heartbeat beneath your palm. Surely, this couldn’t be happening. “You’ve been romantically interested in me…all this time?”
Hunter smiled ever so sweetly and bowed his head again.
A happy gasp escaped you and your hand pressed even harder over your heart. This was not at all how you thought this conversation was going to go, but you were not complaining at all. This was even better than what you expected. “Hunter, I…I feel the same,” you replied, your lips curving up into a joyful smile. 
That made his own smile widen even more, his expression softened and his eyes lit up in a way that you hadn’t seen before. He took a step closer to you and asked you, “There’s something else I wanted to give you each time I gave you a rose, but was afraid to. May I give it to you now?”
A bit puzzled but no less intrigued, you simply nodded your head.
You were slightly startled when you felt his warm hand take yours. He proceeded to lift it up and your breath hitched when he pressed the back of your hand to his lips, his gaze locked on you the whole time.
“For the first rose,” he said as he lowered your hand, but keeping it in his grasp.
After that, he leaned his head down and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, sending a small shock through your skin.
“For the second,” he said.
His free hand came up to cup your jaw and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, overwhelmed with joy at what was happening. He tilted his head up and pressed his lips to your forehead, letting them linger a little longer there than he had on your cheek.
“And the third,” he said as he looked back at you.
Then he reached around behind him and, to your great surprise, he pulled out yet another red Malreaux rose that you somehow never noticed he had tucked under his belt. He must’ve snagged it as you both were leaving your shop, which explained why it had taken him a few seconds to appear beside you. Your smile grew and your cheeks hurt a tiny bit from how much you were smiling, but you didn’t care. This was a kind of light pain that you would gladly grow accustomed to. Though, instead of handing it you, Hunter tenderly tucked it behind your ear, letting his hand caress your cheek as it came down. 
Then, looking intently into your eyes, he spoke in a soft voice, “Then this is for the fourth rose.” 
A second later, his lips descended down onto yours, capturing them in a gentle, sweet and affectionate kiss, one better than anything you ever dreamed of. His hand that still held yours let go and wrapped around your waist as you placed your hands on his firm chest and kissed him back. You felt as though it were just the two of you alone on Pabu, sharing this wonderful moment. The way his arms fit around you and your bodies seemed to fit together like matching puzzle pieces felt more than right; it felt like you were destined to be together.
It felt perfect.
When he reluctantly pulled away, he said to you, his voice a gravelly whisper, “I know we still don’t know each other very well, but I would like for that to change. I want to know you, (Y/N). I want to know everything about you and the things that make you happy. I want to listen to you tell me about every flower you know of, the meaning behind each one and see how your eyes light up when you talk about your passion. I want to make you just as happy and smile just as much…if you’ll have me.”
“I would love nothing more,” you said back almost right away. “I want to know you, too, and I’ve wanted that so much since you first came to Pabu. I hope I can make you as happy as you’ve already made me with the roses alone.” Then you took the initiative this time by taking his face in your hands and bringing him down just a little to kiss him again, feeling him smiling against your lips. After a few seconds, you pulled back and inquired, “Would you like to come in? I don’t want to say good night yet. I can make us some tea and we can spend more of the evening together, just the two of us. I can even show you my flower garden out back, too, if you’d like.”
“I’d like that very much,” he replied. 
You tightly grasped his hand and led him along the path leading to your front door. You pushed it open and brought him inside your warm and inviting home, your other hand lightly tracing the petals of the other three roses Hunter had given you sitting in the vase by your door.
Being a florist had always been your dream and you had achieved that a long time ago. Since then, your new dream had been a relationship with Hunter and that was now coming true. 
You had thought your life was already perfect…but now, with Hunter in your life, it most certainly was.
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Heavy Lies the Heart - Part 2
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Masterlist // Continue Reading
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!OC Word Count: 3.2k Tropes: mutual pining, fluff, angst with a happy ending, royalty Warnings: (eventual) canon death Summary: Two second-borns looking for direction meet by chance. Can they find purpose in each other, or will circumstance keep them apart? A/N: I do not necessarily intent to update this everyday, but then again I won't complain about it when I'm motivated enough to make it happen. Also, just as a side note: My knowledge of the British aristocracy and the laws of inheritance in England at this particular time are shaky at best. Some things I will research because I feel like I can't leave it alone, but in this case I honestly do not care how historically accurate every single detail is. Again, Bridgerton is an AU, so I'll do what I want.
Benedict slumped down on the settee, arms crossed and his brow furrowed. He was all but lying down with how far he had sunk, and as he half-lay in his seat, his mind raced.
He was frustrated.
It had been days since the Danbury ball, and yet he was no closer to discovering the identity of the enchanting young woman he had met there. In these past few days, she had occupied more space in his mind than he was comfortable admitting. He needed to see her again--or at the very least learn her name.
He had been through every family he could possibly think of, but all had been dead ends. Not that he was familiar with every household in the ton, but certainly his mother had briefed him on many of the households with eligible debutantes. He thought surely one must be the home of his mystery woman.
Anthony strolled into the sitting room, an eyebrow lifting as he looked over at his brother.
"What's got you brooding so?" he asked, taking a seat next to Colin at the small, round table that had been laid out with confections. He took a jelly tart for himself as he eyed Benedict from his seat.
"I do not brood brother--you are the one that broods," Benedict corrected, wiggling himself further down the settee, "Honestly I am pouting at best."
"Then what has you pouting so, Benedict?" Colin chimed in, setting the book he had been reading aside.
Benedict thought for a moment about telling them. They were his brothers after all, and there was the possibility one of them may even have some insight into the young lady's identity.
He thought better of it almost as soon as the thought entered his mind.
There was the potential to gain valuable information yes, but the ribbing he would receive in return would be never-ending. And there was the risk of the information reaching his mother's ear. He shuttered to think what she would do if she believed he was actively seeking a wife--he saw how she was with Anthony last season.
He certainly didn't want anyone in his family to presume something so ludicrous as his desire to marry--he wasn't looking for a wife, he was only curious.
Yes, curiosity. That was all.
He decided it wasn't worth the trouble; not yet, at least. While he had no luck finding her again, at the very least he knew she was aware of him. There was a chance she may seek him out, however slim it may be. And of course it seemed very likely she would attend the next ball. A debutante newly introduced in society could hardly be kept from every dance and social engagement held throughout the season. Even if she herself had seemed less than taken with the last event, there was surely a pestering mama in the picture that was pushing her forward regardless.
So he would wait to speak of it with his family until he had no other options.
"I was just thinking longingly of the peace and quiet in the house while the two of you were away," he joked, his hands moving dramatically to press together, as if in prayer.
"Well now I know you're lying," Anthony smirked, "Since when did you enjoy peace and quiet?"
"It certainly sounds out of character," Colin agreed, "Perhaps he simply enjoyed having fewer people around to catch him leaving for his nightly excursions."
"Yes Colin, I think you're right," the eldest brother replied. Benedict scowled, finally sitting up straight as to address his brothers at eye-level.
"That is quite the accusation, dear brother. Care to defend it on the piste?" Benedict challenged.
Colin smirked, "Careful brother--I'm stronger than I used to be."
"Well then, perhaps after another trip abroad you may finally pose a challenge for me," Benedict quipped, "Shall you join as well Anthony? You wouldn't want to miss our younger brother's humiliating defeat."
"He has been rather big-headed since his return, it would be nice to watch his ego deflate," Anthony grinned over at Colin, "For his own sake as well as ours."
"Would the two of you like to back up your boasting, or shall we sit and discuss it for another hour?" Colin huffed. Anthony and Benedict exchanged knowing smiles.
"Very well then," Benedict said as he rose from his seat, "Shall we then?"
The three brothers exited the room, pushing each other lightly and laughing as they headed for the back garden.
---
Beatrice slumped forward in her chair, frowning as her unfocused gaze fell to the bookshelves that lined the far wall. Her chin sat balanced on one hand, as the other absentmindedly fiddled with a page in the large book that lay on the table in front of her. She knew she would be reprimanded if her tutor--or worse, her grandmother--saw her slouching, but she was too bored to concern herself with it at the moment. She sighed, glancing down at the page she held between her fingers.
As the second child of the Prince Regent, Beatrice was fourth in line for the throne--soon to be fifth, once Charlotte's child was born. She no longer needed to prepare for a hypothetical future where she would someday need to step up and become queen. Yet still, her father insisted she continue her studies while forcing her to follow his excessively strict rules. Even convincing him to allow her stay at Buckingham House had been a struggle. Luckily, her father was rather a pushover when it came to his mother, and when the queen had insistent Beatrice be allowed to stay for the season he could hardly say no.
She straighten, only to slid down into her chair. It's not as if she disliked the act of learning altogether. There had been many times when she felt she had truly enjoyed her lessons, having looked forward to more than one. But there were others that felt rather pointless; just tedious memorization that she would never have need for even if she were to become queen.
Studying the crest and founder of all the current noble houses, along with the family tree going back at least three generations, was not exactly thrilling.
She had found some enjoyment when she first started, flipping immediately to the section concerning a family she was now quite interested in. It did somehow feel a little like snooping, and she felt a bit guilty looking through Benedict's family history. However, she told herself it was all public knowledge, and after all it was a part of her studies.
She learned quite a lot about the family--their crest, the first Viscount's name and history, and of course the family as it stands now. It was a surprise to learn Benedict had seven siblings; she couldn't even begin to image having such a large family. Then again, her father was one of fifteen children, so perhaps eight was not so unreasonable.
After learning all she could about the Bridgertons, she moved on. She was less enthusiastic about learning anything at all about the other households, and soon she found her thoughts drifting.
It had been a few days since the ball. Beatrice had been the one to ask if she could attend, and at the time truly thought she would enjoy going. She hoped she may make a friend--possibly even two. She had been so isolated as a child, and her sister had always been little company to her. It would have been nice to talk to people her own age.
However, she had not expected she would cause such a frenzy. She hadn't realized how little people saw of the royal family at such events--with the exception of the queen, of course. It made Beatrice too conspicuous. She was a shining light of hope representing the next generation of the monarchy.
Then of course, there were the men. Knowing nothing about her, yet treating her like a prized mare up for auction. She supposed even as the second child, she must seem appealing to them. The crown may be out of reach, but her future husband would still be a prince--and of course, there was the considerable amount of riches she had access to as a member of the royal household.
Perhaps that's why she had been so taken with Benedict Bridgerton.
He had clearly not known who she was. Perhaps he had arrived late, or been out of the room when she had been announced alongside her grandmother. Either way, he seemed truly clueless to the title she carried. It made him seem so genuine compared to the others she had met that night. It had been so refreshing to be treated as her own person, rather than a royal. It may well be his motivations were less than pure, but at the very least he seemed like an honest person. Perhaps more prone to humorous banter, but still so sincere when it was needed.
This left her with a rather vexing problem.
On the one hand, he would certainly learn her identity sooner or later. It made sense to simply tell Benedict now rather than hide it from him, which may go poorly when he did eventually discover the truth. On the other hand, she had enjoyed their conversation immensely, and if he found out she was a princess after only a single meeting, he would likely feel the obligation to treat her just as everyone else did. She would lose her one chance to have a real connection with someone that wasn't singularly focused on her proximity to the throne.
If she wanted to continue hiding her title from him, she would need to find a way to see him. If they built up a friendship first, perhaps once he did learn the truth he would be less inclined to treat her differently. She was nearly guaranteed to see him at the next ball, but then she would once again be announced as a princess. Whatever had caused him to miss her entrance at the first ball, she had doubts that it would happen a second time.
With that being the case, she either had to wait and see him at the next ball, holding out hope he may continue to act as he had before even after learning the truth. Or, she had to see him outside of a ballroom. She couldn't bare the thought of losing an opportunity for real friendship, but of course she would never be allowed to leave Buckingham House on her own. This left her with only one option.
She would have to sneak out.
---
Benedict lounged lazily on the sill of his bedroom window. His head leaned back against the wood of the frame as he gazed out over the lamp lit streets below. In his lap sat his sketchbook, filled with half-finished sketches of a lovely young woman whose face he just couldn't quite capture.
Spending the afternoon with his brothers had been a nice reprieve from his mind, but night had fallen and now he was alone. There was nothing to stop his thoughts from wandering every corner of London, searching for a girl he hardly knew. Benedict threw his sketchbook to the floor with a groan, rubbing his charcoal stained hands down his face in frustration.
He felt ridiculous, being so overcome with thoughts of someone he barely knew. The mystery and intrigue of it all certainly played a part in his curiosity, but he would be lying if he said it had nothing to do with the girl herself. Such circumstances made her a novelty to be sure, but she had exhibited qualities he had not often see from those of the ton. He had replayed their conversation a hundred times in his mind, and he was now sure that he knew at least something of her character.
To Benedict, she had seemed a well of profound, thoughtful emotion. She felt things deeply and was not ashamed to show it. This was in contrast to so many in his social class, who held propriety above all things--even their own feelings.
She had been shy, but still wasn't quite as naive as he may have first thought. She was clearly kind, but that didn't stop her from being quick-witted when she saw the occasion for it.
It had been such a short amount of time, but what he had learned of her had only fueled a desire to learn more.
Perhaps most interesting was that her insecurities seemed to match his own perfectly. He had been feeling rather useless following Anthony's return, and from what she had said she felt quite the same about her own situation. He had never expected to find a kindred spirit in one of the young ladies of the ton.
Not that Benedict thought them all completely incapable of deeper thought, it was only that his situation as a second-son was rather obviously specific only to sons. A woman could not inherit her families title even if she were the first born child, so it was unlikely to find one so worried over her place within the family hierarchy. It was their future husband's title that truly mattered.
He didn't know enough about the young lady's family to know for sure, but he supposed if her family had only daughters it would be up to the eldest to marry well to secure their family's title and estate. A second daughter would inevitably leave once she was wed, leading him to believe his mysterious young lady must also be quite loyal to worry about her family so.
Perhaps that was something to think on.
---
Benedict, so caught up in his own mind, failed to notice when the very woman occupying his thoughts appeared on the street below him.
She pulled the hood closer to her face as she looked up at him, his shadowed profile gazing up at the stars. He was difficult to make out in the low light, but she was quite certain it was him.
Benedict Bridgerton.
She was thankful to arrive having drawn no unnecessary attention. This time, she wore a less conspicuous dress than she had at the ball. It was made of a pale green fabric, cut in the popular style the other ladies of the ton were wearing. She had worn a silken, violet cloak over top so she was able to hide her face from view. Perhaps walking around covering her face was in itself a suspicious act, but anyone who may look at her strangely for it would have no opportunity to get a good look at her face, which was all that concerned her.
She may have avoided notice so far, but she faced a new problem: How was she to draw Benedict's eye without also drawing the attention of passersby on the street? She could not simply call out to him, but them he would need to be looking down at the street to alert him quietly. Frustratingly, at the moment he seemed content looking up at the sky, rather than down to earth.
She had only one other idea.
---
As Benedict sat deep in thought, he was roused by a small clank on the wall near his window. Before he had the chance to turn his head, something small and hard smacked him in the forehead. The surprise caused him to lose his balance, his body rocking back and forth in the open window. When he at last steadied himself, he rubbed his forehead, looking down to find whomever it was that had struck him.
A woman in a hooded cloak looked back up at him, gloved hands raised to her mouth in a look of surprise and worry.
Once she realized she had his attention, she pulled back her hood, and Benedict felt his heart jump to his throat.
This time, the shock did cause him to tumble over, though thankfully landing on his bedroom floor rather than the street below. He scrambled to the window, popping his head out as he gripped the sill. She had one hand to her lips, her shoulders shaking as she tried to stifle a laugh. She quickly beckoned for him to come down before turning, pulling her hood back to it's place atop her golden curls.
It was her.
She was really here.
Benedict fumbled as he stood, grabbing his coat and gloves from their place discarded on his bed as he all but ran out of the room. He nearly barreled straight into Anthony as he flew down the stairs, one arm in his jacket.
Anthony gave Benedict a suspicious look, "And where are you going in such a rush?"
"Out," Benedict replied simply, sliding his free arm through the empty sleeve.
"Out where?" Anthony asked, annoyed.
"Just out," Benedict reiterated, "Honestly brother, do you truly want to know?"
Anthony sighed, "No, I suppose I don't." He gave his brother a stern look, "Just be sure your mother doesn't catch you--I have to hear enough from her about Colin as it is."
Benedict smiled. He grabbed Anthony's face between his hands and gave his cheek a quick kiss, "Thank you brother!" Anthony made a disgusted noise, knocking Benedict's hands away, "This is why you're my favorite elder brother," he added as he began descending the rest of the staircase.
"I'm your only elder brother!" Anthony shot back, shaking his head as he turned away, continuing his way up to the second floor.
Benedict grinned from ear to ear as he burst through the doors of Bridgerton House. He turned when he reached the street, catching sight of her as she fidgeted with her hands nervously. His smile softened as he watched her, though in truth he was beginning to feel quite nervous himself. Benedict started to move toward her, and soon enough she caught sight of him. He smiled at her, his stomach doing somersaults when she shyly smiled back. They stood there in silence for a long moment, taking each other in.
"You're here," Benedict commented at last.
"Ah, yes...I am," she smiled as she glanced down briefly, "It's good to see you again, Mister Bridgerton--and I am quite sorry, about the rock." He looked at her in confusion, until she quickly pointed to her forehead and he realized her meaning.
"Oh! Was that what that was? It's no bother--after all, I can think of far worse things you could have thrown at me." The back of her fingers pressed lightly to her lips as she laughed. He smiled, feeling emboldened by her response to his rather silly joke, "Though, if you truly wanted to make it up to me, you could start by telling me your name?"
She looked surprised, "Oh, right. Of course. I suppose I did fail to give it to you when we spoke before."
"Yes, and I must say I've been taking it quite personally," he said, his lower lip pouting as he looked at her in mock sadness. She smiled.
"Well, I would hate to think I had caused you any pain," she joked, and he grinned back. "You may call me Beatrice."
----------
Tags: @empressnatsume
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munsonsmixtapes · 2 days
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I Can(t) Do It With a Broken Heart
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rockstar!Eddie x fem!reader
summary: Eddie is nothing but heartbroken from his break up with you as he goes on yet another tour with Corroded Coffin only for you to try to win him back
Based on the Taylor Swift song
cw: hurt/comfort, talk of depression and disordered eating, mention of alcohol abuse
Not proofread!
Eddie stood backstage as all of the roadies ran around, getting everything ready for the show. All of his bandmates were running off of adrenaline, but he was running off of two hours of sleep, three beers, and a joint. This was their fourteenth show of their first world tour and he honestly had no idea where they were. Somewhere in Europe for sure. Stockholm, maybe? Or London? Honestly, he didn’t care. He didn’t even want to be there.
He’d never admit it, but he had been a wreck since his breakup with you. Everything was falling apart between the two of you and you both made the mutual decision to end your five year relationship because of it. It hurt so badly. The most pain he had ever been in. Well, emotionally. He hated living without you and had thought about you every single moment since the last time he had seen you.
You hadn’t been doing so well either. Terrible, in fact. You had quit your job because you had fallen into the worst depression and found yourself struggling to eat. Your breakup with Eddie felt like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and at the moment, you wanted to wallow in your feelings.
You wished you hadn’t let him get on the plane, but you supposed it was for the best. Even though you had wanted to try harder and make things work, you knew it had to end. It just wasn’t working anymore. You both just needed some time away from each other for a while.
Eddie reluctantly went to the stage and tried his best to keep his balance as his guitar was handed to him. This was the second show in a row that he had been drunk off his ass and the rest of the band was sick of it. How could they perform when the lead singer was that drunk? This was the final straw.
With that, Eddie was sent back to the hotel to get some rest and to pack his things to leave in the morning as the tour had been cut short. He couldn’t be expected to perform in that state and nobody deserved to see him like that.
While Eddie was sleeping off his drunken state, you were still at the apartment that you had shared, not being able to get yourself to pack up your things. You couldn’t just leave that chapter of your life, especially without another glimpse of Eddie.
The next morning, you found your pillow stained with tears yet again. You forced yourself out of bed and threw on some clothes to make yourself feel better. After you were dressed, you headed to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee.
You pulled down Eddie’s favorite mug since it had been the closest thing you had to him and poured the coffee in it. Just you were pouring the creamer, you heard the front door behind you unlock. You whipped around, wondering who the hell would be breaking in at eight o’clock in the morning, but you still wanted to be sure that you were armed.
You held out the hot coffee pot as the door opened and dropped it, the entire thing shattering as you caught sight of your boyfriend. Or you supposed, your ex boyfriend. He looked exactly the same as he had a few months prior, but now he had grown out his facial hair.
“Eddie,” you gasped.
“Y/n…what are you doing here?” He let his bag drop to the floor as he took you in. You were dressed in nothing but a tank top and a pair of underwear and he could have sworn that you were even more beautiful than the last time he saw you.
“I um-i haven’t been able to move out yet. I’m sorry, I just-”
“Don’t apologize,” he commanded, cutting you off. He stepped closer to you, taking his hands in yours. He looked tired but still as handsome as ever. He somehow made the bags under his eyes work for him.
“I missed you,” he said, his chest rising and falling as he letting his mind run wild of all the things he had wanted to do to you since you had been apart.
“I missed you too. So fucking much.” You intertwined your fingers, giving his hands a squeeze as he pulled you to him so that you were chest to chest.
“I think we’ve made a mistake.”
“Me too. I can’t live without you anymore.”
“And neither can I. Can we start over?”
“I’d want nothing more.” With that, Eddie pulled you in for a kiss, this one eager and messy, the both of you pouring everything you felt for each other into it. One of his arms wrapped around your shoulders as his other hand rested on the small of your back.
He licked into your mouth and you let out a moan as the feeling of your tongues tangling together. His hands moved down your back and to your thighs, telling you to jump. You did as much and Eddie caught you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together at his back.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” you told him as you pulled away, only to dive back in again.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied against your lips as he carried you to the bed.
This was exactly what you had been dreaming of every night he had been away and you couldn’t have been more elated that it was all coming true. You finally had him again and he promised to never leave you again.
You and Eddie spent the rest of the day and night making up for lost time between the sheets of your shared bed. Maybe the time away from each other only made your love for each other grow stronger. All of your issues had seemed to have disappeared and you had been happier together than you ever had. Eddie supposed that now that you were back together and with a little rehab, he’d be ready to go back on tour. Maybe he really couldn’t do it with a broken heart.
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wonryllis · 3 days
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Give your moots tropes they suit!
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、ㅤ🎬 ⋆ ࣪ 午 MOOTS AS TROPES ᵎᵎ
so i already did this with a few of my mutuals HERE, and hence i'll only do those who i haven't done and those who i have talked to at least a couple of times. ( MUTUALS )
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@jaylaxies co workers to lovers au like a chem prof and eng prof having beef that the entire college knows of and suddenly they start seeing each other differently and and appreciating their differences (like their personality and style of teaching and the way they think etc yk) students are flabbergasted when they announce their relationship AFTER being accidentally discovered by someone lol.
@alvojake college au with a project partners to friends to lovers trope where they both think the other is boring but quickly are proven wrong when enjoy the time together more than expected and then going on 'hangouts' after the project is over, just the two of them and then denying feelings for the longest time sigh.
@sserasin crushing on crush's crush and then getting successful trope if that's a thing. like going to a hangout with a bunch of friends at an amusement park or something very active and coming across her crush's crush and totally getting why and then finding it hard not to fall but at the end of the day her crush is changed and now it's like a competition.
@pockettwinzz legit like legit stalker x celeb, i married my anti fan au but reverse like i married my die hard fan? hazel being famous for supporting the celeb but like not in a creepy way and loving them while heartedly and then suddenly something happens and the celeb has to work with hazel's company for something and the celeb requests to be assisted by hazel for everything and that's how the story starts!!
@hooniehon classic airport crush turned fling you never seen again but boom you find them in your vacay hotel and they work as the bartender there. claire going to some exotic place, alone, for a work trip(surprisingly) returning to the hotel early evening after a meeting and then going out to the bar near the pool and finding that same airport crush bartending and then they talk the entire night and—
@pprodsuga idk if this because of the jay lawyer au but .. lawyer x lawyer and add a whole lot of comedy because they're kinda frenemies, basically eawyw choi suyeon and kwon minwoo ahhh!!! rivalry as coworkers and denying feelings because no way you like that person and then getting drunk and confessing josie pie is so suyeon and minwoo coded it's insane!
@koishua i did this for you on my previous account but this now my perspective has changed.. ahem ahem so found family in a romantic love setting au like just finding your person, your home and everything you have ever wanted to have to feel alive in your lover. fluffy little moments that means so much and evoke a range of emotions vie never expected.
@eeunoia popular girl with her nerd bestfriend turned fake date turned real lover trope. psyche tried of all the fans hovering around her and asking to go out with her, begs the bestfriend to fake date her for a few months, pda in the corridors and the cafeteria and uni festival and just everywhere anyone is that they don't even realize when it's not longer an act anymore.
@leaderwon classic classmates to lovers trope, but like new classmates yk. staring at each other on the very first day and being like oh they're good-looking! and taking more notice of each other as the days pass by and they talk between classes and sit together during lunch but it's slow burn and then high school comes to an end and they part ways but hit it off after a reunion years later.
@tyunni ta x student trope (they're same age!!) can totally see may being a worldclass genius, top of her class, loved by profs and then in comes the love interest who's just changed classes and can't for the love of god get a single thing inside their head. so every tuesday and thursday may gives lessons and they slowly fall in love..
@jjunae childhood best friend but then turned enemies and then fling .. things happen and like no matter how hard they try something just keeps coming in the way and like by the time they are together they're too old kinda the 'love rosie' movie.
@lheebra a coming of age au with a summer fling somewhere in europe, a 'float' movie au like dani taking a break from lawschool and going on a month long trip to somewhere small and cozy and then falling for this cute guy in the town who shows her around and everything.
@fakeuwus kinda like an "if i stay" au. period. nic getting into an accident and falling into coma where her soul is having an out of body experience and everyone around just wants her to stay but she does not feel like it until, that person that makes her see things differently that makes her want to live and that makes her want to try. crying.
@lilyuwon chaebol heir with the hardworking intern at their family's company. i can also imagine yev as the hardworking intern always scolding the heir about not trying anything because everything will eventually be given to them. and also yev being a bratty nepo baby heir who annoys the hell out of the intern because she's bored.
@sainns college au but sports rivals. captain of two different teams and always bickering about and everything. always fighting in the corridors about who's the better one and throwing glares before getting on their bus for the tournament but texting each other encouraging messages the night before the match and even going to support secretly.
@stwrjvke this is everything, maid of honor x best man trope. you can't tell me it's not ash like them both preparing for the wedding while bickering their asses off and then on the wedding day they bawl their eyes out watching their friends get married and then after the marriage is over part ways albeit with feelings grown and then meet years later somewhere and hit it off.
@intromortal new clumsy secretary with a supernatural being boss? like nia getting a job at a fashion editorial or something and the boss turns out to be a vampire or like a demon or incubus or something and nia accidentally finds it out and now she can't be allowed to quit because she knows and that secret brings them closer and closer ..
@glitterjay omg omg listen basketball captain x cheerleader au. absolutely can see sea being that pretty cheerleader that rolls her eyes at the captain and that's what makes her so attractive and worth chasing. and they have this thing of fooling around the lockers and the bleachers before and after match but the commitment.. ?
@kareyuns this is absolutely not because you live i hawaii .. actually it is so like love triangle between tour guide and her friend and the tourist. mimi taking up a summer job as a tour guide and being assigned to a backpacker who randomly chose the place and showing them around and her friend getting jealous by the amount of time she spends away because that's basically dates. and then the backpacker decides to stay longer and the rivalry for mimi omg.
@theyluvvaubery idk why but like a royal au, but set in modern day with her being the next in line to the throne and the love interest being someone of a lower rank and they struggle to be together. sneaking around at first and then being separated and then eloping away.
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sunsetsandsunshine · 2 days
Text
An issue I need to address:
TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.
Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention. 
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4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back. 
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If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)
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And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic. 
Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep. 
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The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for. 
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It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles? 
I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird. 
Me and one of my best friend’s convo:
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So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following: 
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Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.
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And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it. 
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Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person. 
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Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL. 
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I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.
I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that. 
You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are? 
Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican  household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less. 
So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week. 
@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn: 
@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch
@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san
@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice
@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop
@anxious-lee @charismakat
@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez
@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon
@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10
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idk if this counts as request but i imagined a secret (true/j) ending where crowe and sol fought for the mc (like, hit eachother and stuff or just discussed), and as a last choice went to ask the mc who did they like more JUST TO FIND THE MC KISSING GEO 😭 Idk what i was thinking when i got that idea but i wanted to share it to the geo appreciation cult 🗣️‼️‼️‼️
(sorry for any mispelling, english is not my first language + im eepy ☹️)
Dern Moira (Geo x MC/Reader)
I cackled when I read this, probably will be part of the crackfic Imma eventually write (if you're on the Discord server, you'll know what I'm referring to). ;]
MENTIONS OF CROWE AND SOL.
Enjoy anonnie, have an awesome day/night! <33 Thanks for letting me write this for you, and I'm sorry for the lateness of this.
Anyway, I had fun with this one. The ending is also a pisstake, so don't take it too seriously.
- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer
Dern: hidden, secret.
Moira: translates to "destiny," "share," or "fate". 
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Sol and Crowe were livid with each other.
They'd had enough, if tearing each others' hair out, punching the shit out of each other and almost killing each other wasn't enough to come to a decision; they decided to go to their mutual last resort: you.
They marched together, side-eyeing and glaring at each other, walking to your locker when they both halted, astounded.
You, the love of their lives, were kissing Geo(de)-fucking-Oogami.
The stoic ice king.
The most nonchalant and secretive person they knew.
And he pulled you.
As he should look at him he's majestic.
His hands were firmly cupping your face, your ones around his slutty waist (his hair's too precious guys I'm sorry).
They were shooketh.
They were mortified.
Distressed, even.
They had not expected this at all.
Especially when Geo pulled away and gave them the most bombastic side-eye ever fucking seen.
Crowe was honestly shocked that Geo was even there in the first place, Sol was just angry.
They both are kindly told to fuck off (Crowe's just told to leave because Geode's a nice person) and, knowing Geo will throw hands, Sol asks Crowe to forge an alliance to get you and Geo apart. Crowe denies, because he's a respectable person.
It also fails because Geo's superiority and overall amazingness surpasses it all, and you love him.
Plus Geo is the one who has dirt on Sol, so he'll tell you that Sol's in your house each night (will be too disgusted to mention the jerking-off part), so you agree that you'll shoot him and Geo'll hide the body. <3
Crowe eventually gets over it, and moves on, seeing how happy you and Geo were.
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memento-rory · 3 days
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➞ 𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑼𝑨𝑳.
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✭ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and ted have been “casual” for months now, and you’re over it. when you tell him you want to be more, ted rejects the idea, and you decide to try to get over him. (requested by anon.)
✭ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: erm it’s a little angsty because i love drama 🧍🏻‍♀️ afab!reader.
✭ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: ~2.5k
✭ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: splitting this bad boy in two. expect the next, sexier part soon! 😗 no beta, we die like men here. if you see a mistake, no you didn’t.
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“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You say, and the hand that is lazily rubbing your back stops.
“What do you mean?” Ted asks, raising his eyebrows at you as you sit up, reaching for your bra and shirt that rest at the end of his bed.
Ted sits up as soon as he sees you getting dressed, reaching out to touch your arm in hopes of stopping you.
“I don’t want to do this casual bullshit anymore.” You tell him with a lazy shrug as you clasp your bra. This is something you’ve been ruminating on endlessly, a mighty need to be something more than casual ever-present in your heart.
“Okay…” Ted’s eyebrows furrow, and he turns his body to face you, sitting up straighter. “Okay, then we’ll stop. No harm done.”
You stare at him incredulously, momentarily dropping your shirt into your lap. “Ted, I don’t want to stop,” You huff, wondering how he can be so dense, “I want to be more. I want to be official.”
Ted stays silent for a moment, clearly trying to gather his thoughts. “I thought you said you were okay with being casual.”
“I was!” You reach for your shirt again, hurriedly pulling it over your head. “Casual I can do, but Ted, whatever we’re doing doesn’t feel casual at all. You can’t treat me like a girlfriend in private and then treat me like an acquaintance in public. It fucks with me.”
“(Y/N), I’m sorry, but…” Ted ran a hand down his face, clearly a little frustrated at you reneging on your previous agreement. “I’m not looking for anything serious, I was upfront with you about that from the beginning. I just… I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”
You stare at him again, your mouth hanging open just slightly as you try to wrap your mind around what he just said. It was such a, frankly, silly thing to say given how he’s been treating you lately. You two have been spending nearly every free second you have together for months, you both have a key to each other’s places, you make dinner together, and you’ve shared a lot of things that neither of you have ever shared with other people. Any time you’re not together, you’re texting each other all of the random thoughts you have, like neither of you can stand to not be in contact with each other.
Not to mention, the sex is anything but casual. Ted takes his time with you, touching and caressing you like he can’t believe you’re real, like you might dissolve under his hands at any moment. He puts you first every time, his own pleasure be damned. Sex with Ted feels like heaven, like worship, like love.
“…Okay,” You nod slowly, getting up from his bed to put your pants on, grabbing your things from his nightstand. “No harm done.” You repeat his words back to him, avoiding his gaze as you leave his bedroom, and then his apartment — maybe for the last time.
God, you think as you stand in front of the mirror, checking your outfit, I do not want to go to this party.
You know Ted will be there, because of course he will. You both share mutual friends, and it’s not like you can ask anyone to pick sides. You would never dream of doing that anyway, but it’s not like anyone even knows you and Ted were hooking up in the first place.
You stare at yourself for a minute, before deciding to change into something a little sexier. Just because Ted isn’t looking for something serious, it doesn’t mean you aren’t. Maybe you could find someone else at this party, someone who would appreciate you in public as much as they do in private.
Really, it’s not like you’re asking for much. You’re not asking for Ted to make some big announcement, to plaster your photo all over his social media, to bring you up in videos or anything.
You sigh, trying to soothe yourself. No use getting worked up over something like this.
You’re a catch and everyone knows it.
That statement proves to be true the minute you walk through the door. Heads turn, and you have several people’s attention as you dive headfirst into the party, making yourself a drink and allowing yourself to let loose for the evening.
You spot Ted in a sea of people — of course you do, he stands a head taller than a good portion of the crowd — but you pay him no mind. (Well, you try to at least, but you’re only human. You sneak a few glances here and there, but only when you know he isn’t looking.)
You mingle and laugh with some of your friends, sit down to play a drinking game, and even do a little tipsy dancing with some of the people grooving in the living room. You catch Ted watching you from the other room, slowly sipping from a red plastic cup as someone else tries to get his attention.
You don’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
As the night starts to wind down and the music changes from upbeat songs to chill jams, you find yourself standing beside the door frame of the kitchen, where things have slowed down and people have funneled out, cradling your half-empty plastic cup in your hands.
“Hey, look who it is.” Schlatt’s voice reaches your ears before you see him. You turn your head just slightly to watch him walk up to you, stopping a little closer than you’re used to.
“Look who it is.” You repeat, smiling up at him. “How’s it going, Big Guy?”
“Just fuckin’ wonderful, now that I know you’re here, sweetheart.” He grins down at you, leaning up against the doorframe with his hand on the space above your head, “You’re lookin’ good tonight. You havin’ fun?”
You turn your body to face him more, resting your back against the door frame, staring up at him. “For the most part, yeah,” You answer honestly. Sure, there is a part of you that’s capital B Bummed about your situation with Ted, but you have had a good time, and — if the rumors surrounding Schlatt were correct — you could probably have an even better time with him.
“‘For the most part’?” He repeats disappointedly, raising his eyebrows. “Listen,” He says, leaning down closer to you, his face inches away from yours. “Why don’t you tell me how I can make your night better, beautiful.” His voice is lower than you’ve heard it before, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
You open your mouth to answer him, ready to tell him that he can take you away from this party and back to his place to show you a good time, but as soon as you start to speak, someone interrupts you.
“Schlatt!” Ted’s voice is chipper, but he claps Schlatt on the back a little too hard to be friendly. “And (Y/N)! What’s up, what’s going on?”
Schlatt doesn’t move from his position, his hand still resting on the doorframe above you, and why would he? It’s not like Ted ever told him about the two of you. As far as Schlatt knows, this is just a friendly interaction.
But you know it’s not. Ted’s smile is far too wide for someone trying to have a normal interaction, and maybe Schlatt will chalk it up to Ted being tipsy, but you can see in Ted’s eyes that he’s pissed.
What does he have to be pissed about? He’s the one that said he isn’t looking for anything. Who does he think he is?
You smile up at Ted, before looking back at Schlatt, “We’re just chattin’. I think we were getting ready to bounce, actually?” You hint at Schlatt, who grins deviously.
“Yeah, sick,” Ted nods slowly, his smile wavering just slightly. If you’d blinked you would have missed it. “Mind if I come too? It’d save me from having to get a Lyft home.”
Oh, my God. He’s cockblocking you. He’s actually cockblocking you.
“I don’t think we’re headed in your direction.” You say, with your own sickly sweet smile on your face.
“Oh, really?” Ted asks, raising his eyebrows, “Where are you guys going?”
“My place.” You tell him through gritted teeth. “Is that okay with you?” You don’t mean to say it, but nevertheless it comes out.
Schlatt can tell something is up, and he quirks an eyebrow curiously. “What the fuck is going on right now? I feel like I’m in the middle of a fuckin’ lover’s quarrel or somethin’.”
Schlatt’s keen observation is met with silence.
“Oh, shit,” He laughs, “I actually am, holy shit.”
“Schlatt—“ You start, but he pushes off of the doorframe, before patting Ted on the shoulder.
“Figure this shit out, man,” He tells Ted, before walking away, still laughing and shaking his head.
“What the fuck, Ted?” You say as soon as Schlatt is out of earshot.
“Don’t ‘what the fuck’ me,” Ted frowns down at you, “What are you doing? Trying to hook up with Schlatt, really?”
You scowl at him. “Yes, really.” You roll your eyes at him, “What’s it to you, anyway? You don’t want me, why do you care if someone else does?”
“I never said that I don’t want—“ Ted sighs a heavy sigh, looking around at the still-crowded party. “Look, can we talk about this somewhere else?”
“We don’t need to talk about this anywhere else. You made yourself pretty fucking clear this morning.”
“Would you just hear me out, please?”
You look at him, and he stares back down at you, a pleading expression on his face. He looks so sincere that you can’t help but give in, no matter how badly you don’t want to.
“Fine.” You spit out, crossing your arms over your chest. “But you’re paying for the Lyft — and we’re going to my place. I’m not about to have to leave your place upset for a second time today.”
The ride to your place is absolutely silent, save for the soft music playing from the radio of your Lyft driver’s car. Neither of you really want to hash this out for a complete stranger to hear, so you both stare out your windows in the backseat until the car pulls up to your place.
You don’t wait for Ted as you walk up to your door and unlock it, stepping inside and immediately kicking your shoes off.
Ted enters shortly after, taking his own shoes off, making himself at home like he always does. He follows you over to the couch and you both sit, an almost uncomfortable distance between the two of you.
“Well?” You say expectantly, looking over at him.
“Okay, look, you have every right to be pissed right now—“
“Yeah I do—“
“(Y/N),” Ted sighs, turning his body to face you, “Can you just let me talk?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, nodding, permitting him to continue.
“I don’t want to be casual either.” Ted starts, and your eyebrows furrow before you can register making a face.
“Then why did you tell me no? What’s changed since this morning?” You cross your arms over your chest, your eyebrows furrowing even deeper as you think about what had gone down this morning.
“I don’t like how it felt to see you with someone else — and with Schlatt, of all people.”
You release a frustrated sigh, standing up from the couch. “At least he seemed genuinely interested in me.” You snark, making your way to your kitchen. You could use a drink right about now if you’re going to rehash this argument.
Ted’s up in a flash, following after you. “(Y/N), I’m interested in you.”
You open your fridge and pull out a drink, rolling your eyes where Ted can’t see. “Really, Ted? Because it seems you’re only interested in me when someone else is.” You pop the top off your drink and toss it in the trash can.
“That’s not fair.”
You nearly slam the fridge shut, whipping around to face him. “Who are you to talk about fair?” You laugh, mirthless. “I’ve been playing by your rules for months but I want to make my own rules and suddenly it’s not fair.”
Ted opens his mouth to speak, but you interrupt him, stepping closer to him, until you’re right in his face. “What’s not fair is stringing me along and treating me like you… like you fucking love me or something in private and then acting like you barely know me in public, like we’re fucking coworkers, despite the fact that you know me more intimately than anyone else in this world.”
“Okay! Okay, you’re right, fuck.” Ted huffs out, rubbing at his temples. “I’ve been a real asshole. I know that.”
He leans back against the countertop, staring over at you with a soft expression. “What I said earlier was fuckin’ stupid. I don’t just want you because I don’t want you to be with someone else.” He bites his lip, pausing to search for the right words. “Look, it’s not… easy, being in the public eye, okay? I said I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I don’t want you to have to deal with assholes on the internet just for existing near me.”
Your own expression softens at his explanation, but you still scowl just a little. “Ted, that should be my decision then, not yours. I’m a big girl, I can handle that shit.”
“I know that.” Ted nods, “I know. I should have just said that in the first place, but (Y/N), I really care about you. Like, a lot, and it would fuckin’ kill me if somebody were to say something mean about you.”
“Like I care,” You can’t help but roll your eyes. You have never and will never care about what any stranger behind a screen has to say about you. “Ted, all that matters is you and me. I don’t give a fuck about what anyone else has to say about it.”
Ted reaches his hand out for you, and as you take it, he pulls you close to him. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He says, leaning down to press a kiss on top of your head. “I want to be with you for real. I’m sorry I was a fucking idiot about it.”
You set your drink down on the counter beside him before wrapping your arms around him, resting your head on his chest. “It’s okay. I get it. You were worried about me, even if you went about it in a real roundabout way.” You tease. “I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to make it up to me.”
You pull back a bit to look up at him and find him smiling down at you mischievously.
“I can think of a few ways.” He murmurs, before switching positions with you to hoist you up onto the counter.
You can’t help the giggle that slips out as his lips find yours, and everything feels normal again.
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ham1lton · 2 days
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i remember telling my best friend about it too and she said "oh so like theyre soulmates that aren't meant to be" and i never been the same. like brocedes are twin flames, destined to be tragedies and thats so fucked up? and their fact that their wish BESIDES becoming world champion is to be teammates together? and dont even get me started on anything but lovers because god. the way they looked at eachother, clung to each other its so so so insane.
and its interesting seeing all the drivers dance around them? because all of them saw how much they adore each other and now suddenly hate each other's guts? jenson turning to nico when lewis said the "a better teammate too" because HE KNOWS he said it to nico. and even if lewis doesn't utter nico's name, he is imbedded in everything he does kinda? like lewis taking accountability for shit he done which harms the team (his tweet apologizing to george!), also roscoe's name like i dont want to be delusional but like ... SURE you found it cool. and seeing that clip of nico running away from lewis with champagne even though they aren't friends and he is probably chasing his friends but its so instinctual for him to do that. like everything in the world fell away and its just nico and lewis again?
also i do not promote parasocial relationships and knowing celebrities in a personal lives BUT LIKE LEWIS NOT BEING IN NICO'S WEDDING????
honestly people wondering why nico keeps yapping about lewis like if i fumbled LEWIS HAMILTON? yeah, i would too!
and its okay that you are a lewis apologist, as children of divorce hopefully they can both be mature fucking adults and talk it out again or i will lock them up in a room like what niki lauda attempted to do (do you know fucking BAD it is if a world champion is like banging his head at them not talking to each other?) anyway ILL STOP BEFORE I SPIRAL THANK U AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT OR DAY BE WELL !!!! — nico apologist
i feel like the whole relationship is a lot more intricate then what we know now and we will ever know. ik a lot of ppl like to speculate and make theories and stuff but idk. especially as lewis doesn’t like to speak abt it a lot. it’s two people who knew each other and won’t ever stop really knowing each other even after everything - nico knowing that lewis was holding his breath before he even said it.
like u hit the nail on the head with the whole thing abt parasocial relationships but i think a lot of ppl relate to having a best friend who changes and leaves. idk. maybe i’m just speaking to speak but one thing that annoys me tho is ppl try and make it a one sided thing and they paint either nico or lewis as the villain…. it was obviously mutual 😭
but… ‘everything in the world fell away and its just nico and lewis again’ DONT DO THIS TO ME!!!!!
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kurohaai · 10 months
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Why are they so flustered?
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child-of-hurin · 23 days
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Devastated that I can’t reblog that post about Gen having mother issues (which I agree with wholeheartedly) because it is written in a way that implies that he’s into Irene because he sees something mother-ish in her (cringe)
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dbphantom · 3 days
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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wibble-wobbegong · 2 years
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tag rant on more mutualism stuff
#im still stuck on the whole idea of mutuals#like as a concept it’s just so interesting. people who aren’t quite friends but like to see into the world of another and maybe interact#with it#like for me i’ve never been in a discord or had any real conversations with my mutuals. idk why but it just hasn’t really happened#but like for me im looking at these people who say they want to be a part of my world too even if we don’t really know each other and that’s#one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard of#like. okay i learned that mutual circles are a thing but im not really in one of those#im mutuals with mike a couple people from a few different mutual circles#which mutual circles kinda confuse me because that just sounds like a friend group but I’ve also never been in one so idk#ANYWAY i get the pleasure of seeing into so many different spaces and seeing so many different people with the knowledge that they’re#interested in what i have to say too. we may never talk but i’ll see an rb or a like from someone and#it’s just so sick to know that there are people out there who would want to interact with my stuff#and it’s different from a non-mutual because you know that that feeling of interest is mutual#i have two or three mutuals i semi converse with through posts and the way that spread to mutual in laws#there are so many worlds overlapping in so many different ways when it comes to mutuals#and obviously everyone has their own definition of this concept and what a mutual actually is#im not always sure where i stand with people and how im supposed to interact with them if we’ve barely interacted beyond likes and stuff#but it’s still so cool?????#and then some of you guys are actually talking and having conversations and you create these massive conversative posts and im kinda just in#awe of the fact that that happens. people find each other and create things like that constantly and it’s fucking amazing#i don’t really know how to or if im even supposed to be making connections like that but im definitely stunned by it#having someone to share your ideas with and bouncing off each other? it’s insane to watch#i cannot fathom what that’s like but it just seems so so cool#and that’s not me begging for pity points but i literally just don’t know if i’d be capable of doing that so it’s cool to see#and im being ALLOWED to see that. encouraged to see it even#im not a part of it but im allowed to exist in that space too#mutuals man. fucking wild as hell#you guys have no idea how cool i think you all are
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invisiblerhythmcat · 1 year
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ugh, of course I accidentally stumbled onto something my partner wrote about how fucked up things are for them
and it's so hard to not have that deeply gnawing guilt that I'm a horrible person for abandoning them and that I'm the cause of one of their complete brain melts
so, just, going to publicly remind myself that I didn't abandon them - I'm still keeping track of certain things for them and am very prepared to jump in if there's any reason to fear that will not be housed or fed
also, them suffering does not mean I have to suffer too.
we were in a completely untenable situation in which I was basically torturing myself in order to take care of them and that wasn't good for either of us. yes, it's not good that I had to step back. and yes, it's unfair that I have been able to start building the life I want and they have not, but that is not my fault.
I am too fucked up to be a caretaker for more than one person and I made myself incredibly sick taking care of them but not me
this is a product of society fucking disabled people over. They should have all this support without needing to rely on family and partners. I should also have support as a disabled person. I should also have had support as a caretaker. Instead, the third person who was supposed to be my support was actively making things worse
and, no matter how fucked up they are, I am allowed to hurt. They did and said incredibly hurtful things. Maybe it was just because their brain is a mess and they can't always control it, but it still hurt and I'm allowed to hurt.
The one time this happened and I asked for an apology (because I was hurting), they refused because it wasn't their fault because their brain is just weird sometimes. I'm allowed to be angry about that. I'm allowed to be angry that they never acknowledged my hurt, even if I understand that it came from a place of desperation and fear.
It was supposed to be for only a month and a half. I hung on for over two years. That's not abandonment. That's not being a horrible ableist who refuses to take care of their partner. That's a really dedicated, committed person who accepted a huge amount of harm with no support trying to keep a person alive and happy at all costs.
Like, it really fucking sucks that it's like this now. They don't fucking deserve any of this. But I didn't either and I fucking tried my best to give them everything they deserved.
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arminsumi · 5 months
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★ Satoru's undercut
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★ Synopsis : He fears the hairdresser like it's the dentist. One day, he accidentally gets an undercut style. He would have thrown a tantrum if it weren't for your positive response — because all he really cares about is that you enjoy his haircut.
★ Content : soft fluff, romantic tension, some mutual pining??
★ Library ★ reblog for a cake slice! 🍰
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"This will ruin my life..."
"It will not ruin your life."
"I'm gonna die!"
"You're not gonna die."
"Yes, I'm gonna die! They're gonna cut my head off."
"They're not gonna cut your head off."
Satoru had a haircut appointment which you were accompanying him to as per his desperate demand request. Suguru was there also, helping Shoko with something technical on her phone. He laughed when Satoru was whining to you.
The four of you were on the train; Suguru and Shoko stood tightly packed with their backs facing other people as if they were the group shield. And Satoru sat next to you, clinging to your arm as if he were a kid on his way to the dentist.
"Don't laugh. You know I feel the same about hairdressers as people feel about dentists!" he pouted.
"Satoru, you're so weird." you said.
“I'm not!”
You shook your head at him. Satoru grumbled.
"No one understands me!" he said dramatically.
Suguru commented, "I do understand why you dislike hairdressers, Satoru; most of them don't cut your hair how you want."
Shoko nodded and chimed in, "— yup, and you usually leave with a fake smile and say "oh wowww... I love it!" but you actually hate it." then she went back to frowning at her phone with Suguru.
“My hair is important, I can't afford to have a bad haircut." Satoru said.
"Haha, you make it sound like if you have a bad haircut it could cost you millions." you laughed.
Satoru sat up straighter and spoke seriously, "It may as well cost me millions!"
You didn't understand why Satoru was being so dramatic.
****
The hairdresser looked at you, Shoko and Suguru and then wondered why so many people were accompanying this grown man to his haircut, as if he were about to get a root canal for the first time.
Suguru whispered into her ear, and she blushed at his alluring charm like anyone would.
"He's scared of bad haircuts... so please do your best, he has a girl to impress. See that one sitting there?” Suguru pointed to you, “Yeah, that's the one."
He accidentally flustered her, and he smirked about it when he returned to you and Shoko.
"Suguru, your head looks as big as a bubble about ready to pop." you joked, noticing his smug demeanor as he took a waiting seat with you.
"I think I just flustered the hairdresser on accident." he said.
Shoko chuckled, "Is it ever an accident? I think you do it on purpose — oh, Y/n, I think Satoru is trying to get your attention. Give him some comfort."
Satoru recoiled when the cold blade of the scissors touched his neck, and looked distressed when the hairdresser touched his hair.
You knew he was highly sensitive to touch, especially his hair — he hated people touching his hair (reason X for hating hairdressers). The only person who was allowed to touch his hair was you. Suguru and Shoko needed a "valid reason" for touching Satoru's hair.
But you could comb your fingers through his hair any time, any place for no reason and Satoru would go limp with a smile on his face, completely melting for the act of affection.
Sometimes when it was just you and him alone together in his apartment, especially during his sleepless nights, Satoru would lay his tired head on your lap and ask you to play with his hair. Each stroke of your hand mellowed him out. He especially loved the feeling of your fingers running through his hair when it was fluffy and long.
So really, he feared not the hairdresser or even the bad haircut, but the fact that it might be too short or not fluffy enough for you to enjoy. It had to be just right. He had to maintain his fluffy hair for you.
He wanted to make sure that when you saw him at every party and get-together, you'd think "Wow, Satoru's hair looks so good.". He wanted you to compliment his hair and make him feel good and blushy.
And most of all, he just wanted to please your eyes. He wanted you to be starstruck when you looked at him.
So, a good haircut was critical.
****
Satoru's panic calmed after you took the empty seat next to him. He watched in admiration as you struck up a friendly conversation with the hairdresser. She turned out to be kind. She was an apprentice (picture nervous Satoru stiffening his shoulders when he learned this) and her mother owned the establishment next door.
Satoru was mostly quiet and focused on his reflection in the mirror. He squinted in suspicion when the lady brought out a hair buzzer.
But then you distracted Satoru by asking about what the four of you were doing after this. He stuttered a bit, half-looking at the hair buzzer and jumping a little when it turned on.
You talked so much that Satoru was completely distracted, and the lady could work. Though, it was hard, because Satoru didn't really specify what he wanted... so she winged it.
She thought hey, this guy would look good with an undercut. So, she cut an undercut for Satoru, and looked at you and smirked. His girlfriend will appreciate it, she thought as she looked at you and Satoru talking with hearts in your eyes.
You weren't his girlfriend. But you may as well have been. The two of you were anyways soulmates since kindergarten. Sure, you went away for five years to work abroad, but the link between you and Satoru wasn't broken by the distance.
****
Satoru gasped and nearly fainted when he saw how short his hair had been buzzed at the bottom. His neck felt exposed and suddenly it felt more drafty.
"What the—"
"— oh, you look hot, Satoru." You said.
He immediately shut up and went red in the face.
"Thanks, yeah it looks... yeah." Satoru hesitantly complimented the hairdresser's work.
She beamed proudly and wrapped up the haircutting session. Satoru took off the black dressing gown and stood up and shimmied the white hair off his pants.
"The cat is shedding." you joked, making Satoru grin with sealed lips.
You picked a white strand of his hair off the back of his shirt when he stood in line to pay at the checkout. He didn't notice. Such a cute boy.
Satoru was just grumbling to himself about how he'd need a scarf or turtleneck to compensate for his "practically naked" hairstyle now.
You stared at his undercut and felt your heartbeat get a bit frantic.
Then you kept staring as you left the barber shop.
Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders out of habit, as if he were your boyfriend, so the hairdresser felt sure that you two were dating and said something as you two left that really made you and Satoru blush;
"Your girlfriend loves it." she winked.
"I'm not his—"
"She's not my—"
"She sure does! Thanks for everything, see ya." Shoko cut off you and Satoru from responding and shoved the two of you out the door.
****
That comment lingered in the back of yours and Satoru's minds for the rest of the day.
On the train home, you grazed your fingers over Satoru's undercut and it elicited the funniest reaction out of him; he shivered like a cat that had just been scratched in a sweet spot.
"Haha, does that feel good?" you asked.
"It does. But my neck feels naked." Satoru shrugged.
Oh my god, do that again, he thought. It felt so good.
"Aw, then Y/n should wrap her arms around your neck." Suguru said in a flirtatious murmur.
Shoko laughed and propped a cigarette between her lips.
The four of you got off the train, you parted ways. Suguru and Shoko lived in different places and had to wait for their respective trains to take them home. So, you said your goodbyes and went with Satoru.
When you and Satoru moved out of your university housing, you both decided to live on the same street. You can say it was for X reasons, like oh it's a good neighborhood or oh the prices are great or oh the apartment walls aren't thin... but let's be honest; you and Satoru just didn't want to live too far from each other. You were inseparable, even cry-babies whenever the two of you were separated.
Satoru was always clinging or touching you in some way – hanging off your shoulders, resting his chin on the top of your head, draping an arm around you, holding your hand, snuggling into your neck. The closeness brought him more comfort than his own bed. He even claimed once that he could fall asleep on you more readily than on his bed.
Sometimes he was just shy of kissing you when you two met up, or when he knocked on your apartment door some mornings. His lips would graze over yours by accident in some circumstances, and though the two of you would laugh it off, there was an unmistakable spark in the air between you and him.
****
“Do you like it?” Satoru asked.
“I love it. You look really good.” You replied.
Satoru smiled to himself, hiding his face in your lap.
The TV was playing the most recent episode of that trashy romance soap opera – the episode where the two love interests kissed in the rain. Satoru stared hard at their lips connecting, and thought of why he hasn’t attempted to kiss you again. He didn’t want to ruin anything, so he kept his confession to himself even if it was obvious that he liked you.
You noticed he went a bit silent as you ran your fingers through his hair. He made a soft, long groan when your fingertips tickled up the back of his neck and over his prickly undercut.
“You sound like a cat.” You laughed.
His eyes were closed, brows relaxed into a sleepy arch. Whenever he got drowsy in your lap, his lips would part and show his two front teeth.
****
After getting an undercut hairstyle, Satoru was living in heaven with how much attention you gave his hair. Every day you’d find an excuse to play with his hair.
It made his heart beat harder and his mind go blank whenever you touched his neck and hair. He’d get shivers and close his eyes each time you did it, and would even stop talking mid-sentence.
In time it grew out. He refused to go back to the hairdresser, and instead insisted that you cut his hair for him. At first, he attempted to do it himself, but then he wimped out as soon as he held the scissors to his hair.
So, after he practically begged you on his knees and voiced his fear for the hairdresser, you agreed.
Cutting Satoru’s hair was a whole event. You invited Suguru and Shoko over to your apartment, and the four of you were laughing in the cramped bathroom together.
You had no idea what you were doing, and the online tutorials didn’t help much.
Satoru was dramatic when he thought you were cutting it too short or jagged, and he was so very picky that it drove you nuts to the point of putting the scissors down and leaving. But then he hugged your legs and apologized cutely, so you came back. Suguru and Shoko had to get it on camera because it was pure comedy.
“Alright, fairy princess. How did I do?” you asked Satoru.
He checked himself out in the mirror. His jawline and shorter hair drove you a bit wild, it was hard to contain yourself.
“It’s okay.” He replied cheekily.
“Just “okay”?! I put my soul into this!”
He grinned. “I’m just teasing.” He said, “I like it. Now let’s test it out.”
You looked confused. “Test it out?”
“Play with my hair.” He explained, “And tell me you like how it feels or else I’ll cry.” He added dramatically.
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© arminsumi
I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
This is fictional work.
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Mon/Tay/Perrin......... there's something there
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godslino · 15 days
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HARD LAUNCH | minho drabble. established relationship.
“Do you guys have french fries?”
“Minho.” you hiss, nudging his shin beneath the table.
He cocks an eyebrow before turning back to the waitress. She smiles softly, laughing at the two of you. 
“We do, yes.” 
“Wonderful,” Minho grins, “We’ll have a side order of those too.”
“Perfect. I’ll put that in for you guys and check back soon.” The waitress says happily, collecting the menus and scurrying off to tend to another table.
As soon as she’s out of earshot, you groan, covering your face with your hands. 
“Why would you do that?” 
Minho chuckles, shakes his head probably. You wouldn’t know since you can’t see him.
“Do what?”
Still using one hand to cover your eyes, you pull the other away, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. “I told you I’d be fine. Why’d you have to ask for french fries? That’s so embarrassing.”
Minho hums. Unbothered. “You know what’s worse?”
“Literally nothing.” you mumble, returning your other hand to your face. It only serves to muffle your voice more. “This is humiliating. We’re in a nice restaurant and you ordered french fries because of me. Oh God. I’m going to hide in the bathroom.”
A good choice, you think. Minho’s in god damn slacks for crying out loud. Every second that passes is another second that your pity order of french fries is probably spending in the deep fryer, right next to the lobster tail and shrimp tartar that everyone else has a mature enough palate to eat. 
Before you can move to get up and make a beeline for the toilet, you feel Minho’s fingers wrap around your wrists, pulling until your hands give way to your face. You crack one eye open and then the other, his amused expression coming into view.
“What’s worse than ordering french fries is me knowing you’ll be hungry if there isn’t something familiar for you on the table.” he says pointedly, like your reason for feeling embarrassed is unnecessary. “Besides, who said I didn’t want any?”
“Min, look around,” you say, turning your head to glance at the room, “The napkins are cloth. Cloth! Nicer than my bed sheets. We can’t be seen eating french fries in a place like this. I told you I’d be—”
“—fine. Because as long as you’re here I can do anything.” Minho recites, word for word, cutting you off. 
Heat rushes to your cheeks immediately, spreads like wildfire when Minho smiles and leans on to his forearms. His button up tightens over his shoulders, hugs his arms, sleeves rolled up to the elbow.
“Just like how you’re doing this for me, let me do something for you.” 
You and Minho have been seeing each other for four months now, but even at that, you’re still not used to his straightforwardness. 
Seeing Minho has been nothing short of a dream. What started as just interacting at parties because of mutual friends eventually gave way to him asking for your number, and then hanging out separate from your friend group, until one day he plucked up the courage to ask you out. Since then, the two of you have been inseparable, always spending every free moment together. Laughing, talking, even sometimes just existing in the same space. It’s nice. So, so nice.
“Shouldn’t I be the one blushing right now?” Minho teases.
“Shut up.” you say, tearing your gaze away from him.
He laughs again before reaching out and placing a hand on top of yours. Soft. Minho is unbelievably soft.
It’s the thing you love the most about him. But more than that, more than the delicate skin of his fingers or the brush of his lips against yours, you love the softness of his eyes.
Minho is hard to crack, his emotions shrouded most of the time. Not that he wants to be, but because that’s just how he operates, or so you’ve learned. 
But despite all of that, his eyes are a dead giveaway. When he’s looking at pictures of his cats, or staring at you from across the room, or right now as steaming plates of some of the finest cuisine Seoul has to offer are being placed in front of him.
“Holy shit.” he whispers, staring in awe as the waitress walks away from the table.
“Is it rude for me to take a picture? Like, would anyone get offended?” 
Minho scoffs. “Babe, I would be offended if you didn’t document this right now.”
“Okay, okay,” you laugh, pulling out your phone.
“Do I get to be in it this time?”
You look up to find Minho pouting across the table. Another thing about your relationship— nobody knows yet. 
You’ve been teasing about the possibility of a boyfriend for two months now, you and Minho only having made it official about a few weeks ago. The most anyone has been able to see are carefully positioned photos where only his hand or other inconspicuous parts of him are visible.
It’s not that you don’t want people to know. It’s just hard with his job and all. Privacy reasons.
"For someone who likes to claim that people won't give me a hard time because of your fame you sure do seem eager to test that theory."
Minho smiles mischievously. “Well, yes. But I’m also waiting because I want to show you off.”
You busy yourself with opening your camera app to stop the heat creeping up your neck. “Yeah, yeah. You big flirt.”
Minho laughs but obliges, scoots back to let you get a good few pictures of the food. 
Photos aren’t enough to do it justice, though. So you opt for a video, scanning the table with your camera, only the bottom half of his torso visible across the table. A silk white button up only three-fourths of the way buttoned, sleeves rolled to his elbows.
Minho watches silently, his face unreadable. And then, at the last second, he dips his head down so fast you don’t even realize what’s happening until his face is fully in the shot, a shit-eating grin pushing his eyes into crescent moons.
“Min!” you laugh, ending the recording. 
He chuckles, straightening back out. “Post it.”
“Are you insane?”
“No, but I’m going to be if you don’t post it and then eat with me.” He nudges the plate of french fries towards you. “Come on.”
“You really want me to post it? You’re sure?”
Minho smiles. Soft. “Never been more sure about anything in my life.” he says, neither of you willing to address the weight of his words.
He grabs your hand, plants a kiss on the back of your knuckles. The resulting flip of your stomach is enough to give you the courage to hit post and tuck your phone away.
Whatever happens, you’ll deal with it later. Together.
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