#now please actually digest it

[kedreeva]

Heads up/Warning for animal death descriptions!

My friend had two non-starter hatchlings from her last litter- babies that refused to eat, or refused to eat captive prey items. They want baby morning geckos or similar lizards, and at $40 a pop that's just not going to happen. Most of the litters will take fish instead and from there switch to scented mouse pinkies and then to unscented, and be fine. But every litter there are a couple of stubborn holdouts. Often non-starters get culled, either because they outright refuse all food and would just die slowly anyway, or because they're otherwise unfit for captive keeping (for instance, refusing common food sources). Since she's establishing a captive born and bred population, she's focused mainly on the animals that will take common prey items or switch easily. This is ultimately a good thing, as established CBB means less pressure to import wild caught animals.

This time, I took the two non-starters home to see if I could get them switched. I had plenty of guppies available, and plenty of mouse pinkies, after all.

I didn't succeed with the male. He took a couple of guppies when assist fed, but he never really showed any drive to eat at all- no food hunting activities, no ambush pose, no tongue flicking. Sometimes baby animals just fail to thrive.

The girl, however, has been doing great. She was taking fish on her own, every time I offered. Last week I assist fed her a chunk of a mouse tail - a hefty meal compared to a guppy! - by gently holding her up near the head and putting the raw tail end in front of her. It was my intention to put it in her mouth when she opened it to tag me, but she actually shot forward and grabbed it herself.

This week, I had a mouse doe dropping babies right as I was checking on the snake, and so I grabbed one and bapped the snake in the face with it. She wrapped it up to "kill" it (she is not strong enough to do this, had it been alive, but boy did she try), but ultimately she grabbed it by the butt and couldn't find the head, and so abandoned it.

I knew she was hungry though, and I really wanted to get a solid meal into her, so I pulled a baby guppy from my aquarium and euthanized it, then stuck the head into the pinkie's mouth and wrapped the tail up over the nose, so that the fish scent and taste and texture would be where the snake started eating and by the time she realized it was not a fish she'd have it halfway down her face and wouldn't want to stop.

And it worked! I came back an hour later to a fat little snek full of pinkie mouse. She looks so huge with it!! A few more meals like this and she may be able to go back to my friend, and then find a good home!

Good job Rocza!

#snakes #boas #solomon Island ground boa #animal death for ts #dead animal for ts #my pets #rocza #now please actually digest it

[dmumt]

HOT BITCHES BLOWING UP MY PHONE!!!!1!!!!1!! (gp just texted me to ask if i'm still having shitting problems)

#he said im reviewing your letters from the hospital please do make an appointment if you are still having issues with your bowels.... #girl when do i not have issues ... i actually dont remember the last time i was able to digest stuff normally #tbh my ibs gave me some respite last week like things were okay nothing noteworthy happened. now im back on my bullshit quite literally #it's most definitely the colossal amount of cheese i have consumed over the past few weeks but we shall see we shall see 🤔 #.txt

[autismserenity]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

#covid isn't over #covid 19 #disability rights #disability advocacy #wear a mask #covid conscious #covid cautious #mask up #wall of words #public health #health care

[understandableparadox]

a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

#hazbin hotel

[sanguineterrain]

Hi Sanne! I'm not sure if requests are open, but if you're up to it I'd like to request red hood x reporter! Maybe reporter reader is getting too close to a case and is starting to become a target and hood takes her protection into his own hands? ((Including lots of midnight rendezvous and rooftop bump ins))

i love this prompt sm! i've been thinking about a reporter reader ever since i read task force z :) thanks for requesting!

jason todd x gn!reporter!reader. tw: reader is attacked (but they're okay), guns, violence, fighting, jason being both a force to be reckoned with and a big softie. 2.5k words

****

"I don't need protection."

The Red Hood crosses his arms. You cross yours right back.

"Yes, you do," he says.

"No, I don't. I've lived in Gotham my whole life. I can take care of myself."

"Living around and being in the thick of violence are very different. You're already chasing this story; they will come after you."

And what a story it is. The story of the decade, at the very least. A task force of formerly-dead Arkham patients wielded against Gotham by a mysterious benefactor.

It's terrifying. It's dangerous. It's sure to win you your first Pulitzer.

And it all means absolutely nothing if the Red Hood keeps wrapping you in red tape.

Your jaw ticks. "This is my story, Hood. You can't turn it in, so I will. And I won't be scared off by some slimeball."

"Oh, please. You wouldn't even have known about this story if it wasn't for me, smarty."

Smarty. His favorite moniker for you because, according to him, you think you know everything.

Working with the Red Hood has been an unfortunate side effect of chasing your prize-winning story. Not only is he wanted in twenty-six countries (you Googled it) and is a ruthless crime lord (supposedly formerly, but you're doubtful), but worst of all, he's got an attitude to match yours.

He's also built like a tank, which is why you can't just. Outrun him.

"I can't just not publish the story," you say.

"I don't want to stop you from publishing the story. Hence the protection."

"I can't afford a bodyguard."

"Well, it's a good thing I already paid my rent this month."

You scoff. "The Gotham Gazette has a strict 'no armed and dangerous' policy. I'm afraid we all have to leave our gun-toting vigilantes at home."

You open the driver's door of your car, ready to end the conversation here and now. Hood calmly closes the door with his hip and leans.

You glare. "Get off of my car."

"Fact." He holds up a finger. "These kinds of people always strike before the story comes out. They know you're scared and stressed, and they wanna do it before the story gets out. Otherwise, it's obvious who killed who."

"And where did you read this fact? Crime Lord's Digest? We don't even know if they know I'm the reporter who broke into the lab."

"Listen, smarty, I've been in this game a lot longer than you. I know how they operate," he says, finally getting off of your car, only to lean on the hood. Jerk. "It's only a matter of time before whoever's behind this snuffs you out."

"I am not letting a wanted criminal nest in my apartment!"

"That's why I'd be there."

"I was talking about you, Hood."

"Funny."

"I'm not joking. Look, I appreciate your... help." You try not to show your exasperation. "But there's no way I'm inviting you over to my apartment. That'll set off more alarms. If anything happens, I'll call you. Until then, stay away. Deal?"

Hood looks you over.

"Hm. You're awfully comfortable with giving me orders, smarty."

Your adrenaline spikes for a second. But it quickly calms. You've worked with Hood for a month now. Sure, you were petrified the first week, but it quickly dissipated. You've fallen into an odd camaraderie with him.

It's actually kind of nice, having him on your side. No one at the Gazette gives you the time of day. You've become used to having a partner. Not that you'd ever tell him that.

"You take orders so well, I can't help but dole them out," you say, only a little smirky.

"Watch it," Hood rumbles, only half-serious. Probably.

You beam and wrench open your car door, sliding into the seat.

"See?" you say, turning the ignition. "No snipers waiting to take me out. I'll be fine."

He shakes his head and slides off the hood. "Ten bucks says they'll try by the end of the week."

You close your door. "You're on."

****

As it turns out, Hood doesn't need the end of the week to earn his tenner. Trouble breaks down your door the very same night.

You're on your couch with some well-earned Lebanese takeout when your door is ripped off of your hinges. You shoot up from the couch, chest immediately tight.

Your assailant is masked and isn't that typical, giving masked men everywhere a bad name.

You run to the kitchen, hoping you can grab a knife. But you're grabbed before you can get there. You slip on the carpet and trip further into your assailant's arms.

"Keep still so I won't make a mess," is all he says.

You start screaming. He covers your mouth and you bite his hand. That earns you a thump on your cheek, so hard your vision blurs.

Bang!

You freeze, expecting the warm drip of blood and the excruciating pain to accompany it. Instead, your assailant falls to the floor, clutching his ribs. You stumble backwards and see Hood at your door, gun still aimed. He stalks over and kicks the assailant in the chest as he does. The assailant groans.

"You okay?"

You're still staring at the man who very nearly killed you a minute ago. Blood roars in your ears. You think you might be close to fainting.

"Hey." Big, gloved hands hold your face. You flinch and hold the owner's wrists. Hood comes into view once more.

"Are you okay?" he asks firmly. "Look at me, look at me, sweet. Breathe. 'S okay. Does anything hurt? Did he—"

Hood cuts himself off as he touches your cheek, where you were hit. He lightly runs a thumb over what is probably a budding bruise.

Hood lets you go and whirls onto your attacker. He hauls him up and presses a gun to his stomach.

"Go ahead, shoot me!" the attacker shouts.

"If I shoot you, it won't be out of mercy. You won't get a quick death. You don't deserve it," Hood snarls, and you suddenly remember all of your good reasons for fearing the Red Hood.

"I ain't telling ya shit!"

"I don't expect you to," Hood says, and fires again.

The man crumples to the ground, but he's clearly still breathing. Still alive. Hood drags him to the door by his collar.

"You go back to your boss. And you tell 'em that they're fucking with the Red Hood now. And, in case I'm not being perfectly fucking clear through all that blood loss—" Hood grabs the man by his hair and wrenches his head back. "If you come for my reporter again, you'll wish I was kind enough to put a bullet in your head."

Hood hauls your attacker outside. You hear a car start a minute later, and it tears down the street.

You look at your guardian angel, spattered in blood.

Not nearly as much blood as I expected, you think manically.

Your body aches and shakes with adrenaline. You can't even get enough control to move to the couch.

"How–how did you get here so fast?" you ask, staring at your now cracked coffee table.

"I've been monitoring your apartment since you got home. One of the traffic cameras picked up a stolen vehicle turning onto your block, so I came here."

You look at Hood. He seems very collected, all things considered.

"You—how did you find my apartment? Have you been stalking me?"

"Please. Lend me a little credit, smarty. I don't need to stalk you to find where you live," he says, holstering his gun.

"Are you insane?!" you burst. "That is such a gross invasion of privacy! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Hood looks at you.

"What's wrong with me is I just saved your life," he says evenly. "And on that note, you owe me ten bucks. Maybe even fifteen, considering it took less than a day for them to do exactly what I said they would."

Your lip wobbles. You don't know what triggers it; maybe it's your scratched up door or torn sofa or the fact that the Red Hood is in your living room right now with blood on his suit.

The tears form quickly. You can't stop them.

You cover your face but a sob claws out of your throat. Soon, you fall into big, heaving cries.

"Whoa, hey." The floorboards creak under Hood's unsure footsteps. "Hey, I didn't mean that. Shit. I was just kidding about the bet part. Aw, don't cry, smarty."

A hand lightly touches your shoulder. You lean in, but don't dare to initiate more contact. So Hood eases you into a side hug, awkwardly patting your other arm. He's extremely warm and solid with muscle, but his chest is soft enough to rest your head on. He unclips his holster so it doesn't dig into your body.

"I was just kidding," Hood says quietly in your ear. He rubs your arm. "'M sorry. Didn't mean to make y'cry."

You sniff and shake your head. "No, it–it's not that, I'm just—God, I'm t-terrified, Hood. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? They're gonna kill me! I'm gonna die before I win my first Pulitzer!"

You try to suck in deep breath but it's not working. Hood leads your unsteady feet to the couch. You sit, fingers gripping his jacket. Hood carefully loosens your grip.

"They're not gonna kill ya, smarty. I won't let 'em. C'mon, let's have a seat. Where's your kitchen?"

You point, lashes still thick with tears. Hood leaves and returns shortly. A glass of water is held to your lips. You drink it, breathing stilted.

"'S okay. Take it easy. Breathe. That's right."

You swallow half of the water, and he sets the glass down on the coffee table. Hood hands you a wad of tissues.

"This is pathetic," you say, wiping your tears. "Can't believe I'm being nursed by the Red Hood."

"I think nursed is a strong word. But it's more than I usually do for my informants. Then again, they don't usually burst into tears."

"Don't make fun of me. I'm fragile."

"I wasn't making fun of you," Hood says, gentler than you've ever heard him. He puts the tissues aside and rests a hand on your shoulder. You turn into it, appreciative of the weight. "You handled this better than most people would. You didn't even pass out. Hell, I've passed out."

You're sure that Hood is leaving out important details behind that anecdote, like fighting off a hundred men or being swallowed by a whale beforehand. You're grateful nonetheless.

You turn to him, fresh tears in your eyes. "They're gonna kill me, Red."

He shakes his head. "No. Listen to me. Nobody is gonna do anything to you, okay? I'm not gonna let 'em hurt you, smarty pie."

"That's an impossible promise," you say. "One of these days, something will happen. You can't be everywhere at once. Especially not while I'm at home."

Hood tilts his head. "Well..."

"Well, what?"

He rubs his throat. An old injury, he'd once told you. The pain flares up sometimes.

"I could call in a favor. Get you into a safehouse."

"You would do that for me?" you ask. You probably shouldn't ask. Shouldn't look a generous vigilante in the mouth. But you can't help it.

"I can't very well publish the story myself, can I?"

You shrug. "I doubt that. You have your ways. Once you have the evidence, you don't need me."

"That's not true," Hood says fiercely. "I do need you."

Your eyes widen. Hood fumbles for a moment.

"That—I mean for the case. Obviously. I don't have any journalistic links besides you. And I wouldn't want the story to fall into the wrong hands."

"Oh." You have a strong urge to wrap your arms around him. Weird. "Well, um, thank you. I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me yet. It'll take me a few days to get the safehouse," he says.

You deflate. "Oh. So I have to stay here until then?"

Hood is quiet for a long time. So long, you briefly revisit your original theory that the Red Hood is actually an AI remotely controlled by a billionaire.

"Hood?"

You reach to touch him. He flinches, a tiny movement. You immediately draw back.

Nope. Still a man.

"Sorry," he says, hand slipping from your shoulder. "I was, uh, going over options. No, your place is toast until we find whoever's behind this. But, um, it would be possible for you to—if you want to, 'cause if you don't, y'know, I understand, but I—it would be doable for you to, uh, stay with me. Until I get the safehouse."

"Stay... in your apartment?"

"'S not far from here. And it's a hell of a lot better protected than your place. And, y'know, I'd be there most of the time, so like..." Hood clears his throat. "Uh, yeah. It'd be safe. I promise."

"I wouldn't want to impose," you say, nervously scratching your arm.

"Mm. If you're scared of staying with me, y'can just say so. I won't take it personal."

He does kind of sound like he's taking it personally.

"No, Hood, it's not that. I don't... I'm not afraid of you. That, uh, went away a while back," you say. "I just... I don't want to burden you. After all, it's your space."

He makes a sound that tells you he's rolling his eyes behind his helmet.

"Saving your life is important, smarty. Why you don't think so, I'll never know."

You make a soft, pleased sound. "Got a real bleeding heart there, Red."

He sighs. "Yeah. I'm working on it."

You grin. "Thank you for rescuing me."

"Part of the job. If you don't wanna stay with me, I could..." Hood hesitates. "With your permission... I could get the Bats involved. Ask one of them to house you."

"You mean Batman?"

Hood grunts. "Preferably anyone but him, but yeah, if it comes to that. He'll probably get involved anyway. Fuckin' busybody."

"The Bats would protect me? But they don't know me."

"Don't matter. If I asked them to, they would. If that's something you want."

You think. Is it something you want?

Sure, any reasonable person would prefer Nightwing or Batman to protect them.

"I don't want to stay with them," you say. "I'd rather stay with you."

He jerks like you've told him the sky is falling.

"You do?" he asks.

"Well, yeah. I know you, Red. And I know you'll keep me safe."

"At any cost," he says.

That simultaneously frightens and thrills you.

"Then I'd like to go home with you," you say. "If you'll have me."

"'Course, smarty. Anything to keep you safe. Go pack some stuff. I'll be out here. You're okay?"

"I'm okay." You stand and turn before he can see what he does to you.

Yes, it's an odd thing, being partners with the Red Hood.

You're starting to fear that you can't have it any other way.

(pt 2)

#jason todd x reader #Jason todd x you #Red Hood x reader #Red Hood x you #Red Hood fanfiction #Jason todd fanfiction #Jason todd imagine #Red Hood imagine #dc fanfiction #batman fanfiction #batman imagine #dc imagine #Jason todd x gn reader #inbox #blurb

[caesium-55]

—seven days. [ iii ]

pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.

summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.

author's note: hi hello welcome to part three. i flunked the quiz. lemme know what you think. NOT BETA READ. NOT EDITED. this chapter kinda sux. can't believe i went through a breakup just last week and i still cant write decent post-breakup scenes.

tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab hope i didn't forget anyone.

masterlist.

you: *sent a link*

him: ?

him: what's this

you: benefits of crying

you: read it it's enlightening

him: some people do not cry over a breakup you know and that is totally okay

you: why crying helps.

you: 1. tears release toxins, stress hormones to be specific. it is good to let all the bad energy out.

you: 2. it aids sleep. no need for further explanation.

you: 3. crying releases oxytocin and endorphins. i know you don't know what an oxytocin or an endorphin is but they're happy chemicals.

you: 4. crying helps you receive the support you need from the people around you. EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY is okay, max. stop treating it like an STD.

him: it feels like an std

you: pussy

you: emotional vulnerability is a thing and it's normal so stop trying to be a big strong man when you're barely holding it together.

you: you may look fine now but i know you

him: please stop

you: no

you: 5. crying has a self soothing effect. very nice actually. it activates the rest and digest system.

him: what even is that

you: the parasympathetic nervous system

him: ??

you: this is why you shouldn't have dropped out of high school

you: education is important yknow

you: youre already lacking in three forms of intelligence, academic, emotional n social intelligence

him: fuck you im smart

you: fuck you 2 and yeah you're smart but only in geography

you: you probably can't do your taxes

him: im dutch so the company's account department do it for me by default

him: the american system is just weird

you: cant argue w/ u there

you: also, 6. crying helps restore emotional balance

you: see? you need that

you: yknow now that i think abt it you should consider seeking therapy

him: what makes you think i’m not in therapy right now

you: well have you considered getting MORE therapy?

You stand in front of the body mirror, holding the Red Bull polo shirt against your body to see how it looks on you for one last time. On your right sleeve, the word MANAGER is written in bold, white text. Because that was what you were. Just a manager.

In another universe this is not the shirt that you’d be wearing. The MANAGER would have been ENGINEER. In another another universe where your family has been well-off enough to continuously send you to karting school and you would have been the one driving the fucking car by now.

You know, if Max has even tried talking to Horner and suggested that you should be moved into the engineering team, then you wouldn't be stuck wearing this god-awful polo that burned your skin every time you wore it for work. Everybody reduced you as Max’s American manager and because you are American, most of them kind of just assumed that you're dumb, you know?

Does the world even know how smart you are? That you graduated top of your class, got the best thesis award, and that you had finished your masters just this year? Did they even know that a Japanese car company wanted you on their research team? That a NASCAR team wanted you on board as one of their engineers? Does Max even know?

Fuck no. He only knows that you're the best at ironing clothes and organizing his Google calendar and memorizing his entire coffee order by heart. He knew you're good at extinguishing kitchen fires and kicking ass in YSL Opyum heels. You doubt he knows that you can do Calculus in your sleep.

You can take it if the world puts you down for your appearance. But if the world puts you down because of your intellect? That's a different story. You'll take any insult to the face but not to your intelligence.

You have four days left in Monaco so you have begun packing already. You're right, everything did fit into three suitcases. Also, you haven't told Max yet. For some reason, you’re too anxious. Which is shocking to say the least because you never ever gets anxious when it came to Max Verstappen. You wouldn't have lasted this long working alongside Max if you were a pussy.

Max Max Max Super Max Max—

“[Name] here. Need anythin’, champ?”

Hearing a sob on the other end of the line immediately activates your fight or flight response. Your eyes widen and you toss the Red Bull shirt aside. Your legs leads you to the nearly empty shoe rack stationed beside the front door, grabbing the pair of shoes at the very top of the tiny shelf and throwing them on.

“I’m comin’ there. Hang on, Max. You wait for me, okay?”

He doesn't answer, just continuing to sob and the sound absolutely breaks your heart.

You run to his penthouse at a speed that will even put the RB19 to shame. Not even bothering to knock, you barge in and yell his name in the empty halls of his penthouse. You search in the kitchen. He's not there. The living room. Not there either. The room where his simulations are. Not there. You run to his bedroom upstairs.

The door is locked. Dammit. Panic overflooded your system.

“Max, sweetheart, you there?”

No answer, but you can hear a faint sound behind the door if you press your ear against the wood. Firefighter training covered how to open a fucking door when it was locked so this once again becomes a situation where you're grateful that you did that tiring and borderline suicidal volunteer work.

Max keeps a fire extinguisher inside his penthouse as per your advice. There is one stationed in almost every room inside his house. You knew there is one inside his room and another one just at the end of the hallway. You make a quick run for it and once you have the extinguisher in your hands, you run back to his door.

“Step away from the door!” you instructed while your mind mentally calculates your payment plan as you hit the door knob with so much force, the walls tremble at your strength. You're functioning on pure adrenaline. Your instincts only yell one thing and that is: go to Max. No one and nothing in this world will keep you from him. It isn't long until his bedroom door broke down. With one last final kick, it crumbles down from its hinges and you forcefully pry it open and sprint inside.

Max tucks himself in the tiny space in the corner of his huge bedroom, his knees shoved up to his chest. A 181-cm tall man trying to make himself as small as possible.

This is it. This is the bottled-up emotions he's been storing since Abu Dhabi. You cannot say you have not anticipated this. Max is bound to explode sooner or later.

Panic attacks have made a home in Max’s body since he was a child. That's what one gets when they’re parented by someone like Jos Verstappen. He killed Max’s soul and made the boy a machine and for what? To shape a child into a man, a racer that he wanted to be but failed to become at the cost of Max's mental health and childhood.

When Max looks up with that heartbreaking look on his face, you almost crumble. Almost, because you cannot crumble. Not when Max needs you.

Sometimes, you forget what it took for Max to become the champion that he is today. A childhood sacrificed for his dominance on the tracks. A whole lot of hatred from the people to become a WDC. And now, a love lost for his third consecutive championship.

“You came,” his voice cracks towards the end.

Your eyes soften, “You called, Max. Course I’ll come.”

You barely brace yourself for the impact that is Max’s body wrapping around yours in a tight hug. The man have literally launch himself from the floor to you at sixth gear speed. You stumble backwards slightly, holding his bed for support so the both of you won't fall down.

“Max—”

“No,” he whispers and his grip on your tightens as if he's afraid that you’ll slip away if he even tried to give your lungs space to breathe. “Don't speak. Stay.”

What Max wanted, what Max would get. So you shut your mouth, shuffle slightly so he'll be in a more comfortable position and allow him take whatever he wants from you. This will be the last chance he’ll ever do it anyway because in four days time, you’re flying to Texas.

You stay for what is probably hours in that position. Crumbled together on the floor, leaning against the side of Max’s king-sized bed. Your shirt is completely damp from his tears but you cannot even bring yourself to care about it.

“Your shoes…” It's the first time Max has spoken since the start of his meltdown.

“Hm?” you turn your head and your nose nuzzles against his hair, making you scrunch it up a little. His hair is tickling your nostrils. If you lean a little forward, your lips will meet the skin of his temple.

“They’re mismatched.”

Brows furrowed, your eyes move to your feet and see that Max is right. Your shoes are indeed mismatched. On your left is one of your Adidas slides and the other is your slip-on Skechers. You ran from one building to another in mismatched shoes. Fucking embarassing.

“Ignore them.”

Silence.

“You good now?”

“No.”

“Okay,” you say. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

You hear Max let out a shaky breath, “Just stay for a while. Don't leave me alone.”

“Okay.”

Eventually, you manage to talk Max out of the hug. You're beginning to feel claustrophobic but you do not want to say it out right so you try to negotiate instead. That's how you and Max found yourselves inside his kitchen again. You're trying to replicate your Abuela's cheesecake, which she was known for back in Austin, and Max is…well, he's Max and he’s trying to be helpful in any way he can. If it's some other day, you'd have shoved him out of the way because you prefer working alone in the kitchen. Having eyes on you gives you anxiety. But given today’s circumstances, you do not have the heart to make Max leave so you task him with doing the little stuff like mixing things and throwing shit to the trash can nearby. And he does so splendidly.

“Thank you, by the way.”

“For what, baby?” You internally wince at your own slip of the tongue. Damn that habit of yours of calling people with affectionate call signs. Thankfully, Max seems to have not noticed it.

“For coming here.”

You shrug.

“I only did what you did for me in 2021.”

Again, your breakup with Leo was bad bad. You spent a month crying for a love lost and Max was there for you. For the most part, at least. You want him to focus on winning and winning alone that you pushed him away a lot of times but you appreciated how he was more obedient to your commands, that he held his tongue so he wouldn't piss you off even though he was not liking your words, and that he was considerate of you.

“I hope you won't go into fights though,” you chuckle. “Like I did after my breakup.”

He smiles, shaking his head lightly and you know he's recalling the memory. 2021 is a hilarious year for you, the Red Bull manager. You went viral after getting into a cat fight with a girl and a whole fist fight with her boyfriend.

You and Leo called it quits a week before Monaco and even though it had been four races since then, your heart was still in a quite fragile state at that specific race weekend. One minor inconvenience was enough to ignite a wild blaze of fire within you and nobody could extinguish the flames.

After Silverstone FP1, you were leading Max to the cool down room to brief him with Horner’s relayed instructions and someone had thrown a glass bottle towards the both of you while walking. Originally, Max was the main target of the bottle but you happened to have moved towards the line of trajectory and the bottle landed on your temple, hard enough that you stumbled upon impact.

You barely heard Max’s shocked gasp and shout of panic over the sound of glass shattering on your foot because the only thing you could register was the terrifying feeling of a thick liquid trickling down the side of your face and you didn't even need to see it to know it was blood.

The only thing you saw was red and it was on fucking sight.

Fucking Hamilton fan. Fucking Hamilton. He’s in Max’s way. He’s in your way. He’s the wall that was dividing you from your dream position in the engineering team.

You shoved the iPad you were holding to Max’s hands and marched down to the woman wearing the Merc #44 merch, swiftly jumping over the barricade and grabbing her by the collar of her pristine white Versace top.

The events that followed were too fast. You grabbed her collar. She pulled your hair. You also pulled her hair. Someone pulled her away from you. You tried to grab her, clawing her bare arms with your manicured nails. She screamed. You screamed back. You pulled out some curse words in Spanish as well because cursing her in one language alone is not enough. Her boyfriend appeared. A quick punch to your cheek. You fell to the ground.

The world stood still. There was a sting on your palm because your skin got torn from the hard surface of the concrete ground. You let a bloodcurdling war cry and your Dad would definitely be disappointed at you for using the boxing techniques he taught you for self defense purposes only to fight a guy two times your size.

Everything was a bigger blur from there. But you did remember the sensation of Max’s strong arms around you, stopping you from lunging forward again. He was saying sweet words to your ear to calm you down but your brain failed to intercept them so you could hear the words, could hear his voice, but not understand any of it. You remember Christian Horner's disappointed face that haunted you even two years later. You remembered feeling so terrified as you sat outside Christian Horner’s office waiting for the final verdict while he and Max and a few of the Red Bull higher-ups argued about your future with the team. You remembered hearing Max’s loud snarl on the other side of the mahogany door: “Did you see her face?! There was blood everywhere! On her nose, on her mouth, on the fucking side of her head!” You remembered the girl taking the case to court. You remembered fearing that you’d be sent to jail. You remembered that she lost the case because it was ruled as self defense and your injuries were grave. You remembered discovering that it was Max who used all his power and got the best lawyer to fight your case. You remembered the atmosphere in the Red Bull garage shifting when you entered it a few weeks later and everyone stared the bandages and bruises. Everyone thought one thing: of course, it would also take a monster to manage a monster like Max Verstappen. You remembered Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion, apologizing personally for the fight caused by his own fan. He didn't need to but he was so sincere with it that you cried when he handed you the apology flowers. God, how could you even hate this man? Your anger towards him was misplaced.

You’d been living with the guilt ever since, that you were horrifyingly violent for a day, that you were capable of killing for a day. And it could happen again. One day. God, you hoped you wouldn't have to see that day. You knew all your coworkers have been careful with angering you ever since. They're terrified of you even. Max should be, too. But then again, why would he when he already saw the horrors done by his father’s hands ever since he was a child? He was used to it.

“I won't,” he says, smiling at you. “I wouldn't want to add anymore problems for you to clean up.”

But you will not be the one cleaning it up because you resigned. You didn’t tell that to him though. Not right now. He just had a meltdown over Kelly leaving him and the news of his manager leaving him too will destroy him.

The cheesecake is a little burnt when you take it out of the oven but it actually adds more flavor to it so yeah, that's a win.

“We should drink,” you suggest.

“It’s mid-afternoon.”

“We drank at mid-afternoon yesterday,” you give him a blank stare. “With Alex and Charles, remember?”

He doesn't say anything as you make your way to his fridge and pull out two bottles of beer. Max has champagne stored somewhere but you have enough of those expensive champagnes. You need beer. Beer is good. Beer is nice. You're a beer type of person and it is time Max becomes one, too.

“I’m no scientist,” you begin, biting off the beer’s bottle cap. “But according to chemistry, alcohol is solution.”

Well, technically, edible alcohol or ethanol is not a mixture. Rather, it's a pure substance that happens to be a liquid at room temperature and typical atmospheric pressure. Pure ethanol is not a solution. Hard spirits though? That's a solution.

Beer is not a hard spirit. It's more of a fermented drink. But Max doesn't know that, though, so you don't bother explaining the science behind it.

Somewhere down the road, the two of you move to his living room. You use the Youtube app in his TV to search karaoke video and have the bestest time of your lives. You're screaming along some Daddy Yankee and El Alfa songs and Max doesn't know how to speak Spanish so he’s just vibing to it.

At 5 PM, you pull out Max’s expensive vodka bottle. Now this is the real shit. The ten bottles of beer? Those are just pregame. Max is already drunk with just those because he’s a pussy but you’re no pussy, so the only right answer is vodka! Viva la vodka or whatever.

Your throat gets tired of singing and Max gets tired from dancing, too, so you both decide to just go entertain yourselves in other ways. First, you introduced Max to beer-pong. He loses, of course. He sucks at everything not racing. Then, the two of you move onto chess. Max gives up mid-game. He cannot understand the rules. Then, lastly, you move to the billiard table Max owned. He only used it when the other guys are over and you do not even know why he bought it when he sucked at playing billiards.

“You know what Kelly said the morning before the race?” Max suddenly says and you look up at him, brow raising slightly. He’s drunk; his skin is flushed and he is all giggly and smile-y as he sits on the billiard table’s side rail and using the billiard stick as some sort of support stand to keep him from falling. You hope he won't accidentally poke himself. You're no better, too. Ten beer bottles and a few glasses of vodka. But you’re not as drunk as Max, and you still have a straight vision and you can still sink the colored balls into the pockets of the billiard table.

“Hm?”

“That it was unfair for her.”

You raise a questioning brow, “Why?”

“I bought shoes and they don't fit her.”

You blink. He laughs at himself as if he has uttered the funniest joke in the world.

“Three years of relationship gone because of a single pair of shoes,” he continues. “She wanted those shoes, too.”

Kelly….what the fuck?

“But that's okay. She….She made me open my eyes, you know? She made me realize what I truly love.”

“Racing.” It's not even a question. It's the truth.

Max stares at you, long and hard, and you look away first because you fear that if you allow yourself to stare too long, you’ll drown in those beautiful blues. This is enough heartache for the day. No need to add more.

“Hey [Name],” he begins. “If I asked you to kiss me, would you do it?”

#manager!reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #f1 x reader #f1 imagines #formula one #fanfic #angst #mv1 #mv33 x reader #mv33

[jaylver]

ROCKLAND — P.SH

synopsis: almost like a nightmare, park sunghoon plagues your present just as much as your past regrets had done. however, this time around, you and him decided to right your wrongs one last time.

pairings: non-idol!sunghoon x afab!reader

genre: exes to lovers, miscommunications, angst, second chance romance

warning(s): profanities, brief mentions of smoking, drinking, partying and alcohol

wc: 8k

a/n: i'm BACK. this has been in the works for far too long because of the constant writer's block so i'm not sure if it's good or not, plus it's my first exes to lovers so please be nice <3 greatly inspired by gracie abram's "rockland", so do give it a listen too! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

If there was one thing you’d regret forever in this lifetime, it would be ending things with the love of your life.

You admit it, you’re selfish. Selfish for wanting to leave the town you grew to hate, selfish for prioritising yourself and chasing your dreams, choosing to leave the people you loved instead. Painted a villain in the eyes of many close to the person you once went home to and even the man himself. But, how could he fully blame you when he was equally selfish too?

Park Sunghoon thought keeping you in the cage of this small town was going to make him a happy man. He often fantasised about the possibility of you and his future together, completely pushing aside the thought of you leaving, until it actually happened.

He was angry. He let himself be consumed by his own feelings and mindlessly projecting his anger and blame on you, while you regretfully did the same.

Pools of tears and venomous words spewed out of impulse left you scarred and broken down. It was a bad ending that you’d see in movies coming to life. The moment you had everything packed and goodbyes said, you figured leaving was for the best, now that your ex hates you and his friends who probably felt the same. 

It was a shame, though. Heading to somewhere far from home with a heavy heart knowing you didn’t have the chance to see him once more. Frankly, you were a coward, and so was he.

That explained why returning back home was the scariest thing you had to face in a while. 

It was ironic, wasn't it? Coming back to the place you wished for years to escape and actually doing so, but eventually having to return after you dropped out of the college that you've been praying and praying to get into, only for it to be overwhelming and the city lights couldn't compare to the starry night of your hometown.

You suppose you got the thing you wanted, but it just wasn't what you imagined.

Freshly twenty-two and out of school, you figured home was what you needed in your next step before deciding if you should re enrol. However, you find yourself not having the guts to face your family and friends, not after the promises turned out to be empty. 

"You should quit smoking," 

Yunjin, your cousin and practically your closest friend growing up, was just a distance away when you spotted her, leaning against her car with a cigarette in hand. You found it amusing how she didn't cave into vapes instead in this day and age. 

"Y/N!" She pushed the bud of her half smoked cigarette into the wall, then started jogging towards you, her dress flowing in the wind and boots making obnoxious clicks against the ground. There was a sense of relief in her eyes, her usual smile that you missed graced your presence. "God, I missed you, things aren't the same without you here,"

In the span of a few seconds of her hug, you took the chance to digest her words. Did that mean the traditions you've upheld are now gone? Parties, trips to the beach, all those? 

"What?"

Yunjin pulled away, still managing a small smile. "I don't think things were ever the same since you left … and after you broke up with Sunghoon,"

You blinked, looking away into the distance. "I don't think I'll be welcomed,"

Yunjin scoffed, slapping your arm and scurrying to get your bags. "Don't say that! So not true. Everyone in the family is waiting for you to be back—"

"And talk behind my back about my failure in graduating? Yeah, no,"

‘‘That’s not going to happen,” Yunjin sighed, struggling with your bags and declining your help, but you still forcefully grabbed some knowing she’d eventually crumble. “I think they’ll get it,”

Would they?

Once you are settled into the car, bags successfully loaded into the trunk, you let yourself melt into the comforts of Yunjin’s passenger seat, finally getting to close your eyes and drift away. You thought it was best before having to face everything and everyone once again.

“What’s your plan now, anyway?”

Without opening your eyes, you envisioned a distant image in your head. “Take my time off and see if I’d like to re enrol or not. If I don’t, I’ll just go plan B,”

“Which is?”

“Accept the job offer in London,”

Yunjin almost hit the brakes out of shock, the news that came from you felt like it had hit her in the face, but somehow, she managed to keep her cool and not get you both killed. “What?” she shrieked.

“What?” you questioned back, sounding nonchalant as if this was just another normal offer that didn’t seem particularly significant. But it was.

“You have a job offer in London and you’re coming back here,”

“I left the city for a reason, it’d be stupid to go to another one right after,”

Yunjin exhaled, blinking in stupor. “Right,”

“How’s … everyone?”

Yunjin knew you weren’t referring to your family. Of course you’d know how your own family was doing, that’s a no brainer. What you were trying to mean was your old friend group. You couldn’t blame them for being mad at you, after all you were only a part of it because of Sunghoon.

“Heeseung’s graduating soon,” this was the first update you’ve gotten from Yunjin after those years away. It took you every will not to ask her about them, but here you were now, finally giving in. “They’re still the same, nothing’s changed,”

“What about him?”

Yunjin seemed hesitant, obviously holding back something that she didn’t want you to know. “I’m not going to explode upon hearing, you know that, right?” you joked lightheartedly, but secretly dreading hearing about him.

“I think he’s seeing someone,”

“Good for him,” 

Would it be a crime to admit that you still missed your ex? Something in you was wishing you could rekindle a connection again now that you’re back, but all that hope shattered. If he had already moved on, why couldn’t you? Even after knowing how he probably hated and resented you for doing what you did, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate him back. 

“That’s all?”

“You want me to go full crazy ex mode? You’re insane,” you shook your head, smiling a little, hoping Yunjin didn’t notice the speck of sadness swimming in your irises. “Whoever she is, I’m sure that I would like her … if I were slightly nicer,”

She let out a ‘tch’ in response, though grinning. “What are you going to do with them around? There’s no way you’d be able to fully avoid them,”

“What can I do? I’ll just have to coexist.”

Coexist was a funny word. How were you able to do that when you couldn’t even fully get over Sunghoon in the first place? Thinking about meeting him in flesh already made you feel like doubling over and projectile vomit. That was how pathetic you were, what a shame. 

Settling in was easy. It was natural to be back home, way better than being in the noisy city and constantly surrounded by a bunch of fake friends. The question of why you left in the first place started burning your mind as you tossed around trying to sleep, but it only persisted to bug you. Then came the thoughts of Sunghoon and the friends you left behind, which prompted you to be fully awake, sitting up in bed.

It wasn't the greatest idea to reach for your phone and search for his contact name, just to recall the day you deleted his number. Yet, your memory never failed you, remembering the digits like it was first instinct, fingers already typing his number. Your thumb hovered over the green call button, a haze in your mind.

Inevitably, you shut your phone and dug your head into your pillow. He would've laughed then, if he had seen this happen, the exact moment of you almost caving in and finally saying the sorry you never gave him.

The pictures you saw of him on social media here and there made you wonder how he was and if he had already forgotten about you. There were a few recurring appearances of a girl that seemed to linger by his side in group pictures that caught your eyes. Who took your bed when you left? Who laughed at everything that he said? Was it that girl?

Just like the time you first had a crush on Sunghoon, you stayed awake thinking about him, except this time around, you were filled with regret instead of hope. 

"Heeseung asked me about you,"

Yunjin's random confession in the middle of the day had surprised you. Lee Heeseung, the best friend of your ex who you swore hated your guts, asked about you? Shocker.

"What did you say?"

"I said something along the lines of you figuring out life and just chilling here until the time comes," Yunjin shrugged, and you nodded slowly. "But there's something he said that made me a bit … confused?"

"What?"

"He said they wanted to see you again," 

You raised your eyebrows, a hint of scepticism flashed over your eyes. "They want to see me? Tell me a better joke next time, thanks,"

"I'm not joking! I mean, he did say excluding Sunghoon, but the other guys wanted to know how you were now that you're back," Yunjin winced a little at the mention of your ex, but you waved it off.

"Are they treating me to dinner or something?"

"Well … no. But Heeseung asked me to bring you to their next party, which is in a few days," Yunjin's gaze softened, hand patting your back. "You know you don't have to come if you don't want to. I mean, after all that happened with you and them and Sunghoon,"

You let out a small sigh, absentmindedly fidgeting your fingers. "It's all in the past now. I'm sure Sunghoon has moved on with another girl, and maybe—just maybe—the guys do hate me less."

You never went to that party Yunjin mentioned.

It was hard to admit but you knew, deep inside you, you were afraid, too cowardly to face the people you once knew. Instead, you chose to linger around like a lost soul in a town full of the ghosts of your past. 

It didn't help that the party was also in Sunghoon's house. How did they expect you to go in the first place? You thought you'd never step foot in there after you broke it off with him, and you were adamant on keeping it that way, but your heart got the worst of you.

On the night of the party, you drove around the neighbourhood, eventually stopping across the street of his house. You didn't know what got to you to do so, but you guessed reminiscence and bright lights coming from the house were the reason. The music was loud, people were coming in and out of the house, and the only thing you could think of was him.

That thought alone was enough to have you drive away, leaving the house further and further away into the background just as the memories of him being pushed into the back of your mind.

Rotting in your bed wasn't how your early 20s were meant to be spent, and avoiding almost everyone most definitely wasn't the case either.

Your family and Yunjin were the only people you saw daily, as for the friends you once had, they were long forgotten or didn't even bother to reach out. Except for Heeseung and the others.

That, to you, was a really funny thing to think about. People who stuck by you after the break up and swore to be your closest friends didn't try contacting you once you moved back, knowing damn well word traveled fast in the town; whereas the friends you thought hated you were the first to reach out.

"I'll go to that party," you said to Yunjin on a sunny afternoon tanning session by the pool, sunglasses sitting on the bridge of your nose, hiding the apprehension in your eyes.

"Really?" Yunjin almost jumped out of her seat. It was a party she had brought up days ago, still persistent on taking you out. At least this time around, it wasn't in Sunghoon's house, but her friend Chaewon's. "That's great! Chaewon and the girls are super nice, you'll love them. Let's pick a nice outfit for you, okay?"

Yunjin was by far the most enthusiastic one between you and her. She was picking out dresses and tops, literally rummaging through your closet for anything, and you had to remind her it was just a college party. So, you settled for a skirt and a plain top. 

"Will you be okay? I'll stick by you," Yunjin had her arms around you, standing by the front door of Chaewon's house, hearing the music blaring from the inside.

"I'm fine—I think I'll be fine—I just don't want to run away from everyone anymore," it was mostly true, you thought it was inevitable to hide all the time, that wasn't how you're going to spend your life living.

"If there's anything, tell me, okay? We'll leave if you're getting sick," Yunjin gave your arm a final squeeze of assurance before crossing the threshold. 

It was the same as every party you've gone to. Loud music, drunk college kids, liquor and beers strayed around, it reeked of your nightmare in a nutshell there. 

Yunjin's friends were all as lovely as she had promised. The host herself was wobbling on her feet but managed to grace you with her humour. There was Sakura and Kazuha that you learned were foreign students. 

Throughout the night, you were stuck by Yunjin, going from circle to circle and introducing yourself or recognising some of your past school mates. But, almost inevitably so, Heeseung, Jay and Jake had made an appearance too.

"Y/N," Jay was the first to call your name, causing you to turn your head at the familiar voice. 

Your thoughts during then were jumbled into a mess. The people you were fighting to avoid were standing in front of you, all of which were much different than the memories you had of them in mind. 

Three of them had grown taller, gained some muscles and matured in many ways. Jay's hair was dyed pink, Heeseung got new piercings and Jake had a tattoo on his finger. It was strange to admit they're the same people you knew despite feeling the complete opposite of familiarity.

"Hey—" you were cut off by Jay closing in and pulling you into a hug, this for once was something you remembered about him.

"We're so glad you're back," he whispered into your hair, squeezing you tight. It reminded you then that you were friends with him and the guys before you even dated Sunghoon, that connection was deeper than it seemed, and for it to be severed just because of a breakup was gut wrenching to realise. "We're sorry, Y/N, we're so sorry,"

His apology was genuine, that's for sure. Once you pull away, you let both Heeseung and Jake take turns to hug you, whispering apologies into your ear. It was odd, to accept their apologies and having to start afresh. You held onto them, just taking it in. To forgive was a big step, but maybe it was your first step.

You sat there, catching up with them and slowly getting comfortable just like the old days. Heeseung graduated and got a good job offer, Jay and Jake were still studying, both of which were in the same university. You were relieved there was nothing too awkward between you and them, or else you would have regretted your choices.

The night continued on with a few small talks and eventually you had to excuse yourself to the toilet. You wondered how Chaewon's house was so big, with halls that seemed to never end, or it could just be the effects of alcohol.

Stumbling around, you held onto the walls, passing by rooms occupied by people probably doing something unspeakable. You thought your peace of mind would be intact until the end of the night, but you were wrong. Upon turning a corner, you froze.

It was Sunghoon. It was him.

Grief was a funny feeling, especially when it comes to someone you once knew. You stared at him and there he was, like a ghost from your past coming back to haunt you. He was the shell of the person you loved, and you couldn't help but grieve the person he once was. What was he like now? 

Before you could even turn around and make a run for it, his wandering eyes landed on you. He had the same thought process as you. Realisation, panic, sadness, confusion all mixed into a heap of feelings. 

Your feet started moving on its own, as you stepped back, he took a step forward. Your breath became ragged, heart thumping hard and blood pumping in your ears. He was nearing, and you were running away, it was the same as before.

"Y/N!" He called out, and all it took was him to say your name again to have you stop in your tracks. Gosh, you were pathetic.

He was standing before you now, closer than he was a moment ago. It was then you realised how much he had changed too. 

He was taller, smile lines etched much deeper into his face, almost changing along the same wavelengths with the others. There was something different about the way he looked at you, however. From love in his eyes that eventually changed into hatred was now filled with longing and confusion.

"Y/N," he repeated, disbelief evident in his voice, as if he couldn't believe you were there. 

"Sunghoon," you blinked, a frown unknowingly making its way to your face. You let a few beats of silence pass, conflicted and nervous. "I—I should leave,"

"No—!" his hand reached out for you, but you didn't feel his touch. He didn't dare to touch you, letting his hand linger before pulling it back to his side. "I mean, you don't have to leave,"

"I thought you hate me,"

Sunghoon's gaze fell to the floor, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. He met your eyes once more. "I should hate you, shouldn't I? But I don't think I do, I never did,"

You blinked, a little surprised, a little hurt. All along he had made you think he hated your guts but he actually didn't? "Oh," you seemed to have lost the ability to talk or to compute a proper sentence.

You thought of the things you wanted to ask him. If he was still angry at you or if things were working for him. But, what came out was the question you've stored in the back of your mind instead.

"Are you with someone new?"

You figured he didn't expect such a question from you, much as you didn't expect yourself saying it. It was an itching thought, one that made you look like a typical ex, but you couldn't help it.

"I'm not," he sounded almost exasperated, as if having to squash down this rumour for the thousandth time.

"Oh … oh," you didn't know what to say, averting your gaze away from him and finding comfort in the wall behind him. 

Sunghoon paused, gaze following yours, looking reluctant whether or not to continue the conversation, but alas, he did. "How have you been?"

"Bad," you laughed a little, and Sunghoon's ears perked at the sound of it that he hasn't heard for ages. "You?"

"I quit skating,"

That was surprising. How could he have? Skating was his dream, his past, present and supposed future, but now, it came crashing down. You didn't know if you should feel sorry for him, as you have been a part of his journey, but one bit of you also seemed to have started mourning the changed Sunghoon that stood before you.

"Why?"

He shrugged, hands slipping into his pocket with a solemn look. "I lost interest. I'm into music now, I'm in a band with the guys,"

You heaved a breath, a deep one. Ironic it was that he was doing music now when he was the one criticising you in the past for wanting to pursue it. Who even was this person? With a new appearance came a new personality, he was much further away than you thought despite the physical distance.

"You've changed," you didn't know what prompted you to say that, maybe it was the disbelief or the denial that he was someone new, but whatever it was, neither of you could deny the fact that he did change. "I'm scared of the person you've become,"

A beat passed, an unreadable expression on Sunghoon's face that you couldn't distinguish even though by now you thought you'd know every one of them. 

"And I'm scared you're still the same."

Seeing Sunghoon that night seemed to have altered something in your life. Somehow, he was everywhere you went. 

Who was working at the register? Sunghoon. Who was at the park? Sunghoon. Who was at the party Yunjin managed to drag you to? Sunghoon.

It was haunting.

All those little encounters didn't mean you talked to him like normal, though. The awkward tension in the air still remained, seeing each other only reminded you and him both of your pasts, and you hated it. That explained why you were having a hard time seeing him at another party you were at.

Yunjin was much more of a party goer than you expected, and she successfully convinced you to go to all of them. It was fun until you got drunk and started being emotional. Your efforts of hiding from Sunghoon that night failed when he barged into the empty room you were sobbing in, whether it was accidental or not, you didn't know, you wished to not know.

"Y/N?"

His voice brought back the times he called your name. Both the good and bad ones. You stared up at him from the ground, tears welling your eyes. The person you were looking at was someone you thought was a soulmate, but now stood as someone closer to a stranger than a friend.

"W–what are you doing here? Why are you crying?"

The alcohol messing with your brain was processing his words, but what came out from your lips was the total opposite of an answer. "I'm sorry, Hoonie," 

Sunghoon's eyes widened at the nickname, the privilege that only you had. He kneeled down, taking a seat on the ground opposite you, a visible distance in between.

"I hate this—us—I feel like if we gave it one night, to talk, to just feel—you'd hate me less and make it alright," you choked back the sobs building up in your throat, the dizziness making you unaware of how Sunghoon reached out only to hesitate and pressed his hand back to his side. "Just wish that we could fight now, I'd hold you on the comedown …" your voice faltered, head leaning onto the wall.

"Y/N, you're drunk, we can talk this out another day," Sunghoon striped off his jacket and covered your exposed thighs with it. "Just … don't avoid me. I–I don't hate you, I just hope we can have a decent conversation without thinking about the past,"

He admitted it, how the two of you had secretly been thinking about the past, letting it be a big wall in between instead of growing from it. Yet, you could tell the unspoken anger and sadness still lingered, choosing to pour out gradually and unknowingly.

"Bet you wish you never even met me," you started slurring, hand gripping onto his jacket tightly. "I can't blame you, I broke your every heartbeat," your eyes were shut, images playing in your mind, not knowing the saddened look dawning on Sunghoon's face.

"Let's get you back."

In your sleep that night, you saw him. He was there, so far yet so close, and just like reality, he was hard to reach, harder to understand compared to before. He was a knife cutting deep, leaving a mark that constantly reminded you of the past. 

How could you even make everything go back to the way it was?

Sunghoon was on your front door step the night everyone was out for dinner except you. 

You hadn't expected him to turn up, thinking it'd be you that stood at his doorstep instead as you still had his jacket from that party (which you do not want to think about again).

"Sunghoon. Hey," the door was opened and you leaned against it, trying your best at hiding the hint of pining in your gaze. 

"Oh, hey," he greeted back rather stiffly, dressed in a simple attire with the classic white Lacoste sneakers that he always wore. "I–I wanted to—"

"Take your … jacket?" You cut him off half way, nerves wrecking your brain.

A beat passed, Sunghoom visibly gulped. "Y–Yeah, my jacket,"

"I'll go grab it for you," you jerked your thumb over your shoulder, awkwardly scurrying back in to retrieve his jacket and coming back to see him chewing on his bottom lip, seemingly nervous. "Here. Thanks for it,"

"No problem," Sunghoon coughed, grabbing the jacket but absolutely paying no mind to it. His stare was straight at you.

"That's all, right?"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah," you echoed, hating the sudden rigidness between the two of you. "Bye then, Sunghoon,"

"Bye," Sunghoon said, looking dazed. Weird.

You saw him backing away and decided to close the door, but before you could even do so, a force had stopped you from closing it. Not a force, much rather a hand, his hand. The door was pushed open, and you physically jumped at the suddenness of it. Your eyes met Sunghoon's sorrowful ones.

"Don't push me away, Y/N, not again,"

"Sunghoon," 

He made his way in, closing the door behind him and you let him. Was this seriously happening?

"You said you wanted to give us one night to talk, so I'm here now. I didn't care about the jacket, I cared about you. I hate seeing us like this, it's like we're strangers," Sunghoon let out a frustrated huff, eyebrows furrowed.

"We can't just pretend nothing has happened between us,"

"So you want me to hate you instead? You're saying as if it's easy, Y/N, feelings don't work that way!"

"Then how do we go back to how it was? We can't, that's the truth. You're not the same person I used to know,"

"Cut the bullshit. I'm the same as I was, maybe just a little different than I was years ago, but that doesn't change anything. When does that ever stop you from loving?"

Were you too scared to love?

Sunghoon ran his hand across his face, wetting his lips. "You’re scared of change, and I don’t think that’s something new about you,” 

Ouch.

“But I really wish you could let it all go. I don’t hate you, nor do I harbour any anger regarding the things that happened years ago. It hurts, it did, but seeing you now made me feel the opposite of all those emotions,” Sunghoon took a deep breath in, and you were holding yours. “I think about you a lot, actually. I regretted a lot of the things I said and done, and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there for you and giving you the support you needed. I should've fought for us and not leave, I–I—" Sunghoon choked, unable to hold in his overpowering emotions anymore.

You didn’t say anything, instinctively closing in and pulling him into your arms, letting his head lie on your shoulder, ignoring the feeling of his warm tears soaking the fabric of your shirt. "I'm sorry too, for leaving you so easily,"

You stood there with Sunghoon in your arms, inevitably crying along and sobbing out your own apologies, the ones you had owed him and hidden all these years. He held you tight just as you did, and it felt like the nights he had you in his arms whenever you cried. You eventually calmed down whereas Sunghoon was still composing himself, avoiding your gaze.

You took the opportunity to hug him again, tighter and firmer this time, as if trying to stop him from running away. 

"Can we start over? I don't want us to be strangers," 

You heard a sniffle, then a shaky breath of relief. "I'd love to,"

Pulling away, you locked eyes with him. They were twinkling brighter than the stars in the skies outside, filled with a spark of hope. "I'll make us some hot tea. Do you want to … stay over?"

"Can I?"

"I really want you to."

It didn't take more to convince Sunghoon to stay, all you had to do was ask and he'd listen. 

That night, you and him hid in your room, talking for the whole night until the break of dawn. Nothing about the way he talked had changed, nor his laughter or the crinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He told you about the band and some side gigs, offering to bring you to some too. 

You laid there in bed laughing all night, occasionally peeking over the side of your bed to check up on him who slept on the extra mattress, only to meet his eyes and freeze. 

The red string of fate tying you and him together was beginning to reform.

Not feeling dread every time you saw Sunghoon was a new start for you. In fact, you were glad to see him. 

The misunderstandings and complexity built up over the years were finally addressed, leaving you to peace and a small hope of rebuilding what you had with him. But you kept that thought away for now, holding onto the pieces you had at the moment.

"Come to one of my gigs," Sunghoon made a trip to your house on a random afternoon, a box of your favourite chocolate covered strawberries in his hand. He never forgot anything about you, didn't he?

"Are you bribing me or asking me?" You said despite accepting the box, your heart squeezing at the thought of him remembering the littlest details about you.

"I'm asking you but also offering a gift," he let himself in, almost like always, and you didn't even notice, just letting him do so. "I saw it and I thought of you so I got it,"

"Thanks," you waved the box a little, setting it down on the table and leaning slightly against it. "You still remember," 

His gaze softened. "Of course I do," his hand by his side was itching to reach out, but it never did, instead, he played it off by giving you a smile. "So, what do you say? This Saturday, watch our gig at the pub," 

"Are you singing?"

"I wish I did," he laughed, and you momentarily recalled the times you had karaoke sessions with him. Curse reminiscence. "I play the bass, Heeseung's the front man," 

You nodded slowly, picturing them as a band and smiling slowly. You've missed them, and it was then when you realised it. "I'll go,"

"Really?"

"Obviously, do you want me to say no?"

"Well, no," Sunghoon chuckled, quite literally unable to hide his excitement from the way he's grinning widely. "I'm just … glad, and surprised, and happy,"

You bit back a smile, shaking your head at him. "Text me the details, will you? I don't want to miss it."

Saturday rolled around quickly. You and Yunjin were sitting in a corner of the pub, beers on the table and whispering gossip about some of your high school classmates. High school might've ended years ago but gossip never stopped.

"Alright, folks, the next act is someone you already know, they are not strangers," the manager of the pub stepped onto the small stage, announcing Sunghoon and the guy's band. "Please welcome … April Nights!"

April? 

You bit your tongue, an odd feeling boiling in your stomach. April was the month you broke up with Sunghoon and left for university, it was more than just a coincidence for him and his band to have 'April' in their name. All you knew was the sinking feeling never went away.

"You alright?" Yunjin noticed your silence, casting a worried glance at you.

"April …" you mumbled, eyes staring straight ahead at Sunghoon who was setting up his bass on stage. "There must be something behind it,"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

You shook away that feeling currently eating up and put your focus on Sunghoon instead. It wasn't your first time watching him perform. It has always been him on ice in a big arena, but now it was him on a small stage at a dingy pub.

Sunghoon's eyes wandered all over the room, finally landing on you, a smile spreading on his pretty face. You managed a small smile, waving a little to let him know you're there, you're actually there and not a figment of his imagination, a dream that he has been wishing on for far too long.

The first song they played was an ABBA song. To be specific, it was your favourite ABBA song that you would listen to with Sunghoon in the past. Was it a coincidence?

You knew Heeseung had a vocal of stars, but to hear it for the first time in years was sending you into heaven. However, you failed to keep your focus on him, redirecting it to the bassist. You couldn't stop looking at Sunghoon, and his gaze wouldn't leave yours either. 

The second song soon came by, and at that point onwards, you knew it wasn't a coincidence. It only took two songs for you to realise that Sunghoon had prepared a set list of your favourite songs. The band was currently playing Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, a song you had loved ever since forever.

You shouldn't be feeling light headed, but you were.

The set ended almost a few hours later. It was filled with your favourite songs, undoubtedly. The whole time, you were truly holding your breath, especially when Sunghoon was holding your gaze.

While people were filing in and out of the pub gradually, you stayed. It was well past midnight and Yunjin's cheeks were pink from the alcohol, wandering off to join Heeseung and the others. You, on the other hand, were sober as hell, waiting for Sunghoon with nerve wrecking anticipation.

"Hey, hey, hey. How did we do?" Sunghoon slid into a seat like an apparition appearing out of thin air. You jumped a little, but melted into a smile at the sight of him.

"You guys were great," it was genuine, because they did do amazing, probably more than just amazing. "'April nights', an interesting name,"

Realisation dawned on Sunghoon's face, he swallowed thickly. "I—yeah. April was an interesting month,"

"The set list …"

"Right, the set list," he chuckled, shifting on his feet a little nervously and stiffly. "I figured since you're here I'll play some of your favourite songs,"

"Oh," you let out softly, not knowing what else to say, this was something you found yourself acting around Sunghoon now. "That's … nice,"

Sunghoon gouged your expressions and the tone of your voice, a slow frown etching onto his tired face. "Did you not … like it? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,"

"No, it's not that! I'm just—" you paused, thinking of an appropriate word to describe how you felt. Frankly, you didn't know your exact feelings. "—surprised and … confused?"

"Confused?"

"Sunghoon, we're exes, and you pulling this isn't exactly helping—this—" you gestured to the space between you and him. "Us,"

Sunghoon was silent for a moment, occasionally opening his mouth to say something just to close it before he could. "I—maybe I read it all wrong, I thought—you know what, forget it,"

"Don't. Just tell me," you reached over for him, but didn't touch his hand. "What are we? We're not exactly best friends nor are we enemies. I don't want any tension between us and I don't want you to think you have zero chance at all," you breathed, searching for his eyes. "I would want us to work out again, if that's what you want too,"

Sunghoon's eyes glistened with a spark of hope, relief washing over his face. It was an answer to his question. "I want us to work out. I want us to have another chance," his hand reached out for yours the first time since you've seen each other, feeling the warmth of his touch that you were no stranger to. He carefully and gently intertwined his hand with yours.

"We'll always find our way back to each other."

It was odd but comforting to know that nothing has changed when it came to you and Sunghoon.

Sunghoon brought you to your favourite places, ate your favourite dishes, did your favourite activities as an attempt to rekindle everything back. Safe to say it was working.

Just like the first dates you had together, you felt yourself having the same bubbly feeling internally, the same giggles you caught yourself having after a stupid joke he made. Despite all that, over the course of a few weeks, it had you wondering about your relationship with him.

"Will you date him again?" Yunjin could tell you were struggling, even if you didn't say it, it was still quite evident.

"What's with the sudden question?"

"Well, considering he has taken you out on so many dates and still hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend again, I could tell you're troubled,"

"Okay, mind reader," you grumbled and shifted in your seat, hating how right she was. "He said he wanted to give us a chance again, so I was expecting that—you know—we'd get back together soon,"

"Your 'soon' seems a bit urgent, but I don't blame you," Yunjin shrugged, gaze softening at your words. "I can tell how much love there still is between the two of you. It's natural to gravitate towards each other, but time, time is what you need to heal the scars, Y/N. It's been years, give yourself time."

You suppose giving yourself time truly was what you needed. But when you mentally said you needed space, you didn't mean wanting Sunghoon to ignore you. 

That's right. He was ignoring you.

How did you know? Apparently, the hard way.

Calls, messages were all brushed aside. You didn't even see him physically. At one point, you considered him dead, but seeing him at a party proved to you that he wasn't.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

Cornering him was a challenge, but being headstrong and slightly buzzed, nothing could possibly stop you.

"Y/N?"

"Wow, I'm surprised you remember my name," you seethed, almost stumbling forward and throwing a punch at him. "So, we're playing the game where you get back at me and ghost me after all that we've been through lately? Sweet! Could've given me a head's up though,"

"What? You're the one who's planning to abandon me just like before!"

"What are you even saying?" 

"Your email, Y/N. I saw your email. How you have a big job in London and you just can't wait to join, throwing me away like a summer's fling right before you leave,"

"You're not making any sense, I'm not accepting that role!" You were heaving at anger at this point, matching the fumes emitting from Sunghoon's ears. "You dickhead! I'm literally throwing my dreams away and you're here thinking I'm leaving you again? Is that what you thought of first? Oh, maybe you could've just asked me, but you didn't, just like the past,"

Bringing up the past had triggered something not only in you but him. He blinked, keeping silent but chewing anxiously on the inside of his cheek. 

"You never changed, huh?"

You heaved a deep breath, shaking your head a little, not to answer his question, but at him. 

"Well I guess that makes the both of us."

"I fucked it up, didn't I?"

The night after the confrontation, you woke up on Yunjin's couch with a hangover thanks to your habit of drinking your problems away. Remembering Sunghoon's face and the feelings you felt literally had you shrivelling back into the couch, a deep frown etched on your face.

"Partly, yes, but mostly, no," you felt the couch dip beneath Yunjin's weight as she joined your side, a warm cup of coffee in her hand. "He fucked up first, but I think it's all just a big misunderstanding,"

"I don't we've healed from it," you took the cup from her and drank from it. "He's scared of me leaving and I was considering leaving again. Maybe we're just not meant to be,"

Yunjin sighed, moving her body closer to you and placing a comforting hand on yours. "If you're not leaving, that means you're staying, which also means you get to make it right. You get to have time to mend it all unlike the last time,"

"I have to make it right, don't I?"

A nod of confirmation from Yunjin was all you needed to know your next step. So, you decided to show up at his gig in the same exact pub without thinking through it twice.

"He's not here tonight," Heeseung looked thoroughly puzzled by your sudden appearance, and it seemed none of them knew about the small altercation you had with Sunghoon. 

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's been acting a bit … off. We asked him to take a night off, maybe you should give him a call."

If only it was that easy. 

Walking back home with a dejected heart was not the plan you had in mind. A part of you even thought this was truly the end, maybe he reached the conclusion of going no contact and you have no choice but to accept it. Was this karma?

It didn't help that you walked past the park that you and Sunghoon used to run off to back in the past.  The exact bench which you and him sat on still resided there. Your curious mind led your legs towards it, taking a seat and remembering all the memories you shared with him. 

Being alone under the night sky and getting accompanied by the dim light coming from the street lamp had given you a chance to rethink your choices about coming back home, whether it was worth it to see Sunghoon once again and try for the closure you never got. Well, look where it got you now.

The ruffles of the leaves got you snapping your head towards the direction of the noise, but it only landed on a figure.

"Y/N?"

You squinted, waiting until the figure walked under the streetlamp to distinguish that it was … Sunghoon. You should be feeling glad now that he was there in front you, but why were you feeling the exact opposite?

"Sunghoon? W–what are you doing here?" You stood up, watching him getting closer, the anguish in his face was clear.

"I–I … I went to look for you," he started, carefully and slowly inching closer until there's a comfortable distance between you both. "You weren't home and I thought … that was it,"

That was a fatal flaw you and him shared, wasn't it?

"I went to the pub to look for you too," your voice came out in a hushed whisper, breathing becoming ragged. "And you weren't there, so I thought … I thought it was the end too,"

"Fuck's sake, I know I said this many times but I'm sorry, Y/N," he sounded desperate, apologetic and almost exasperated. "I'm sorry for assuming things and ignoring you, I guess I never really got rid of the avoiding thing. I'm just … scared of you leaving me and I can't accept it again,"

"I'm not leaving, Hoonie," you were the first to reach out, to touch him and pull him into your embrace. "I didn't think you'd see that email so I never said anything about it. But I'm not leaving, okay? Not this time, never again. I'm here and I'm staying,"

You heard Sunghoon's quiet breathing next to your ear, his calming heartbeat thrumming against your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I really am, Y/N. I said I wanted to make this right but why does it feel like I'm fucking it all up?"

"You're not, Hoon, trust me. If I have to be honest here, both of us have past scars that aren't healed yet. It takes time, one step at a time, and that was what I learned. I think we're not fully healed from the past," you held onto him tighter, spilling all your hidden truths. "We can make it right, but first, we have to forgive ourselves, forgive each other and move on,"

Sunghoon pulled away a little, but his arms still remained around you. It was the first time you were ever so close to him since the split, wholly vulnerable and showing him your truest emotions. 

"I forgive you," he whispered, pearly tears threatening to spill from the edge of his eyes. "And I'm sorry again,"

"I forgive you too," your grip on his jacket tightened, a small comforting smile appearing on your lips, one that Sunghoon reciprocated. 

"I don't think I'll ever stop loving you," he confessed, a little out of the blue, but it was something he needed to get out of his system before he burst. "Those years when you were away, I see you in everyone else, I don't think anyone could ever compare. I still love you even after this long,"

Your mind was in a haze upon hearing his confession, sincerity and longing hidden in his words but evident in his eyed. For a moment, you thought of what you could say, but nothing came to mind, so you did the first thing your body told you to. You kissed him. Actually, it was more of a peck, a simple quick peck that was enough to shock both him and you.

"I'm sorry!" You saw his wide eyes and wondered if it was a good time to have even done that.

Sunghoon melted into an expression of adoration, a wide smile etched on his lips, as if in both disbelief and relief that you kissed him. "Don't be sorry," he stepped closer, only an inch measured the distance between you and him. The space became smaller when he leaned down, eyes flickering down to your lips. "Can I?"

Was this happening? "Yeah," 

Sunghoon didn't waste any moment in meeting your lips with his. It was natural, easy, for you to kiss him just like first instinct. The amount of desperation, sadness, anger and love were poured into the way he kissed you. There wasn't any urgency, but it spoke louder than intended.

It was short, but it was enough to let the both you know the true feelings you harboured for each other. By the time you pulled away from him, you felt his eyes on you, a giggle erupted from you unexpectedly, and he started joining in.

You really looked like a lovesick fool standing under the streetlamp with your lover. 

"Do you want to stop by that old spot we used to go to?" Sunghoon suggested, a little shyly this time.

"The one nearby?"

"That one,"

"Let's go then." you nodded, casting him a soft smile. 

Sunghoon didn't say much, but his hand did the talking by reaching for yours. He held onto it tightly, intertwining his fingers with yours and swinging your interlocked hands as you walked. He might've not said much, but you could tell how he felt.

Feelings might be complicated, and  making amends with the history behind a broken relationship was equally challenging, but what mattered most was getting back with the one who you called your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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[daisynik7]

Sweet Like Honey

Chapter 3: First Vacation

Pairing: Nanami x f!reader

Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~5.1k

cw: established relationship, fluff, smut – phone sex, mutual masturbation, PIV sex (doggy style, cowgirl), cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, sweeties, baby), use of the word slut (endearing)

Summary: You and Nanami go on your first trip together to a hot springs resort and things get steamy. 

Author’s Notes: Here’s the last spicy side story for A Bento for Kento! This is a repost; I’ve rewritten it a bit to reflect my current writing style better. I hope you enjoy it! Nanami deserves all good things in the world! Divider credit to @/cafekitsune. 

Previous Chapter | Sweet Like Honey Masterlist

Four months into your relationship, you and Nanami plan your first trip together. The two of you sit on the couch in your living room, digesting the dinner you just ate. There’s a nearby mountain town called Hakone, known for being a hot springs resort with views of Mt. Fuji. Apparently, Nanami has been there before and recommends it. Having never been to a hot spring yourself, the idea of snuggling up next to your boyfriend in a steamy stone bath excites you. That is, until he breaks the news to you. “Hot springs are separate for men and women, sweetheart. We won’t be in the hot springs together.”

You look at him, mouth agape. “Huh, what’s the point then?!”

He chuckles, lifting the back of your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “To relax. You really can’t go a few hours without being beside me?” 

You raise a brow at him. “Oh please. Says the man who made me late to work this entire week because you kept wanting to cuddle.”

Smiling, he responds, “I can’t help it. It’s getting cold and you’re too cute. Anyways, I’m planning to book a room with a personal hot tub on the balcony, so we can still relax together at night.” 

That does sound nice. And it’s not like you are actually upset about the separate hot springs. It’s probably a better idea not to be near each other when naked in public. 

Since the day you two confessed your love for one another, the sex has ramped up quite a bit. And by quite a bit, you mean a lot. With your dear brother Ren officially living in the dorms at Jujutsu High, you and Nanami are together nearly every day, either at your place or his. And with your love for each other growing by the second, it’s no surprise that sex has become a regular part of your lives. You can’t keep your hands off each other. Sometimes, the two of you don’t have the patience to move to the bedroom, so Kento made sure to hide lube in the drawers of each room in both your homes, even in the most unsuspecting of places, like the kitchen and laundry room, which has definitely come in handy already. In the beginning of your relationship, there was still that trepidation of figuring out what each other was comfortable with. Both of you were extremely cautious of not crossing any lines, always asking, “Is this okay?” or “Do you like this?”. After a certain point, you became more comfortable with each other. You feel safe when you’re together. Now, the sex is more passionate than it’s ever been. Knowing he loves you just as much as you love him makes all the difference. This is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. There’s no holding back. 

“Hot tub on a balcony? Sounds very romantic.” You scooch closer to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Let’s do it.”

“Great. I’ll ask Gojo to help me book it. He’s the one who got us in last time.” He leans forward to nuzzle his nose to yours, grinning. “I can’t wait. Our first vacation together.”

“I’m getting excited just thinking about it.” You kiss him on the lips as he cradles you in his arms. 

“What are you thinking about? Are you being naughty again?”

“Of course not! How dare you. You know I’m a good girl,” you say with a coy smile, walking your fingers up his chest to loosen his tie.

He hums. “You are a good girl. You’re my good girl.” His lips brush lightly along your neck. In just a few short minutes, clothes are shed and the drawer next to the couch is open. 

~~~

The week of their vacation, Nanami is sent on a mission to Osaka with Gojo. Not only does he have to spend four days in a hotel room with his insufferable friend, but this will be the longest he’s been apart from his girlfriend since they started dating. 

On the last night, Nanami groans at his phone, staring at a picture of the yakisoba she made for dinner tonight as he eats a bowl of spicy instant ramen from a convenience store. “Remind me why we don’t have any stipend for food?” Nanami asks Gojo, who is happily slurping away at his noodles, cross-legged on the bed.

“Geez, Nanamin. Sorry our agency can’t afford five-star meals every night. Since when have you been such a snob?!”

“I’d rather be at home, eating my girlfriend’s yakisoba than eating instant ramen with you.”

“I’m so glad you said yakisoba and not something else,” Gojo jokes, with an eyebrow raised.

They finish the rest of their meal in a comfortable silence. When he’s done, Gojo stands up to stretch his long limbs. “I’m going for a walk. Be back in thirty minutes.” 

“Where are you going?”

“Just around. I’m giving you some alone time so you can talk to your girlfriend. Take the hint, buddy.”

Surprised, Nanami murmurs, “You don’t have to leave. It’s fine.”

“Seriously, it’s no big deal. Just tell her I say ‘hi’. And remember, thirty minutes. I better not walk in here with your pants down,” he teases, smirking as he opens the door.

“Oh, you are awful,” Nanami mutters before he’s left all alone. Finally. 

Immediately, he dials her number and after two rings, she picks up. “Hi baby!”

He loves hearing her voice. It instantly puts him in a good mood. “Hi honey. How are you?”

“Honey? Are you alone right now?”

“Yes. Gojo went out for a walk.”

They chat for several minutes about each other’s week. Nanami talks about the multiple curses they’ve exorcised and how Gojo has them eating convenience store food every night. She complains about work and her friend’s boyfriend drama, which he shamelessly indulges in. 

“I miss you so much,” Nanami says. He’s sitting up on his bed now, loosening the tie around his collar. 

“I miss you too, Kento.”

“I can’t wait for our vacation tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

There’s a brief silence over the phone, a familiar tension growing between the static noise. She breaks the silence first. “What do you want to do during our trip?”

“Well, we’re going to do the hot springs, maybe a massage –”

“No, Kento. I mean, what do you want to do to me?” He hears shifting on her end. He wonders what room she’s in and what she’s wearing.

He exhales into the phone, reaching for his belt, unbuckling it quietly. “What do you want, sweetheart? I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“Whatever I want?” she challenges. 

“Yes, anything.”

“Can you fuck me like the little slut that I am?”

“Fuck, baby. Fuck,” he mutters, pushing past the waistband of his pants to release his erect cock. He starts jerking off hastily, picturing her sprawled out on the bed for him, legs spread wide and ready to be railed. “You’re such a slut for me, huh? Always so needy for this cock. Where are you right now?” He rasps filthy words into the phone, all discretion tossed out the window.

“I’m on the couch in the living room, touching myself.” 

“Already? Can’t even make it to the bedroom, huh? You really are a slut. Can’t wait to eat that pussy out tomorrow. Can’t wait to devour you. You always taste divine on my tongue.” 

“God, Kento. Wish you were here. Wish you could fuck me on the couch like you did last week.” 

“Have you been touching yourself while I’ve been away? Have you been naughty?” He bites his lip thinking about her rubbing that clit with those cute little fingers, sliding them up and down her wet cunt. 

“Yes, I’ve been very naughty,” she huffs, voice trembling with arousal. “How will you punish me?” 

“Going to give you a spanking,” he growls, fisting his cock faster, precum leaking from the tip. “Going to fuck you until you can’t come anymore. Going to milk you dry.”

“Is that a promise?” If he listens carefully enough, he can hear the lewd squelches while she pleasures herself, spurring him on.

“You’re such a bad girl, always trying to provoke me. Tell me exactly what you’re doing.”

“Rubbing my clit,” she stammers. “Spreading my cum all over it so it’s nice and wet for you. God, I miss you so much, baby.”

“I know, honey. I miss you too. I miss you too,” he repeats, getting closer and closer to the edge. “Can you make yourself come? For me? Fuck yourself, pretend it’s me doing it. I want to hear it.”

He relishes in her faint whimpers as she masturbates on the phone with him, timing his strokes to match her moans. “There you go, sweetheart. Just like that. You’re doing so good for me,” he praises. He’s close and by the sounds of it, so is she. “Tell me what you’re thinking about,” he says in a low voice.

“Your big cock filling me up.”

“What position?”

“Cowgirl. I’m bouncing on it until you come inside, like how we did it on the couch. It was dripping down my thighs, remember?” Her voice is hoarse with lust, gradually unraveling on the other end of the line. 

“How could I forget?” he smiles to himself, vividly recalling the erotic memory. “And what did I do after?”

She lets out a loud moan before answering, “You put it back in me and fucked me again.”

“That’s right, baby. I know how much you like that.” He strokes his dick in a frenzy, ears hot and eyes shut tight as he approaches his climax.  

“Come with me, Kento. Come with me.” 

At her command, his abs clench as he releases all over himself, painting the bottom of his button up shirt with his seed. He really should have taken this off beforehand, but as usual, they get too caught up in the moment to think logically. 

“Did you come?” Her voice is quiet, her breathing shallow just like it gets whenever she orgasms.  

“Yes, I did. All over my shirt,” he admits, laughing softly.

“Oh no! Baby!”

“It’s okay. I have another one. How about you? Did you come?”

“Yes, I did,” she replies. He smirks, picturing her laid out on the couch, panties around her ankles, that blissful gaze in her eyes. That’s my girl, he muses. 

“You should clean yourself up before Gojo gets back,” she suggests.

Gojo. Shit.

Nanami turns his wrist to read his watch; it’s been at least forty-five minutes since his friend left for his thirty-minute walk. In a panic, he checks his messages and finds three from Gojo that he somehow missed:

NANAMINNNNN coming back from my walk now

never mind, extending my walk another 30

you dirty bastard

~~~

The next day, you and Nanami reunite for your trip. It’s a two-hour train ride to Hakone. You rest your head on Nanami’s shoulder, hands laced together, basking in each other’s existence. A few days away makes you realize how happy you are being with him. As if you had any doubts. 

When the train approaches the station, Nanami lightly taps on your thigh to get your attention. He points out the window. “Look, sweetie.” It’s a gorgeous view of Mt. Fuji in the distance. The hotel you’re staying at is only a ten-minute walk from the station, meaning this is the scenery you’ll have all weekend. You can’t imagine anything more romantic and peaceful than this. 

The hotel is as quaint as you pictured it. You check into the room and settle in before getting ready for the hot springs. Two hours away from each other is a cinch, especially in paradise. You both enjoy your separate onsen experiences, rejuvenated and relaxed for the night to come. 

After a delightful dinner at the hotel restaurant, it’s time to retreat into your room. On the elevator ride up, Nanami pushes you up against the wall and kisses you, unable to contain himself any longer. You fumble on the way to the room, exchanging delicate kisses until you’re inside. He removes his coat, then yours, before wrapping his arms around you in a big bear hug. “I’ve been waiting all week for this,” he says softly. 

You both change into proper hot tub attire: Nanami in swim trunks, you in a two-piece bathing suit. He leads you to the balcony, holding your hand to help you into the spa. The sexual tension is palpable. As you sit beside each other in the water, your muscles relax in the heat. You let your head fall back on the edge of the tub as you sigh, feeling at ease, staying like this for a few minutes. Even with your eyes closed, you can sense Nanami’s gaze on you. Cracking one eye open, you smirk. “Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”

His hand slides up your thigh. “I can’t help it when you look like this.”

You face him, smiling. “And what do I look like?”

“Happy. Tranquil.” He pauses, leaning in closer to whisper, “You’re beautiful.”

There’s a flutter in your stomach, a sensation you’ll never get tired of. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

Your lips brush together seamlessly, his breath warm on your mouth. With your hands on his chest, you feel the steady thump of his heartbeat pick up in pace as you continue to kiss passionately. Your skin prickles with goosebumps despite the surrounding heat. Something about the way Nanami kisses you always makes you tingly.

Straddling his lap now, you kiss his neck while you roll your hips on him, using his shoulders to hold on to. He lets out a guttural moan, making you ride him slower, touching every inch of him as you possible can until he’s undeniably hard beneath you. You want him. You need him.  

Water splashes over the edge of the tub, the waves rippling with each movement. The steam from the hot water is dewy on your skin. He caresses your head, fingers gripped to the back of your head, gently pulling you off so he can meet your lips with his before trailing along your neck, sucking on your skin, claiming you as his. His other hand cups your ass, moving with the rhythm in which you ride him. 

“You’re so good to me, Kento. Always so good to me,” you whimper.

He whispers in your ear, “I want you. I want you around my cock.” His squeezes your ass tighter, his self-control wavering. “Let’s go.”

You hop off and get out first. The contrast of the cold night air on your sweltering skin makes you shiver. When you watch him emerge out of the water with a very distinct bulge in his swimming trunks, you shudder even more. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?” he teases, grabbing your wrist and leading you back inside. His grip is strong, his pace quick. Seeing him unravel like this is arousing. Knowing how much he desires you in this moment makes you quiver for him.

He takes you into the bathroom, where he starts the shower, knob turned all the way to hot. He releases his hold on you to remove his swimming trunks, his hard dick flopping against his abdomen. The sight resonates straight to your arousal. In complete surrender, you bend over the sink counter begging, “Kento, please. I can’t wait anymore. I need you right now.”

He leans over you, his lips tickling your ear as he chuckles. “Be a good girl and get in the shower. Be patient, sweetheart.” His erection rubs against you, his lips grazing your nape seductively. He roams your back to remove your top, then down your ass, where he slides your bikini bottoms off at an agonizing speed. 

Pouting, you do as he says, slapping your ass as you step over the bathtub. He follows you in, pawing at your waist to pull you close. With a bar of soap, you stand underneath the hot shower, scrubbing the chlorine off your skin as Nanami watches you from behind. Soap suds travel from your neck down to your breasts. From the your peripheral, you see him lick his lips, salivating. When you’re ready to rinse off, you turn to face him, reaching between your legs, tapping your clit. 

“Can’t wait to taste you,” he says in a low voice, the look in his eyes carnal with desire. God, you want him. You want him so bad it hurts, pussy aching to be filled.

Letting the water rinse your body, you offer him the bar of soap. He shakes his head. “You do it.” This is the other side of him. Nanami is usually sweet and gentle with you. Never does he demand you to do anything or boss you around. But when he’s like this, you can’t help but heed his every command. Only you get to see him like this. You scrub the soap on his skin, sliding your hands all over his body. You pull him closer to you, letting the water wash away the bubbles. When you reach down to his still erect cock, he snatches your hand away and growls, “Not yet. I want to fuck you on the bed.” 

Once rinsed off, he gives you a small kiss on the forehead before stepping out, leaving you alone in the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he gives you one last smirk before exiting the bathroom. What is he up to? 

A small groan escapes your mouth, your patience wearing thin. This is the longest foreplay you two have managed to last through. How much longer is he going to keep you waiting? How has he managed to stay this hard for this long without giving in? The anticipation puts you on edge. 

When you’re done, you wrap a robe loosely around yourself, returning to the bedroom to see Nanami sitting up on the bed, naked on top of the covers, watching you. He points to a small, black gift bag propped up at the foot of the bed. “Open it.”

Inside is a black slip dress and a matching lace thong. You swallow hard as you glide the thin material between your fingers, nervous and aroused at what’s about to come. “Put it on. Model it for me.” He leans back on the headboard, palms behind his head, cock stiff against his stomach. There’s a smug expression on his face; you can tell he’s enjoying this. 

You shrug the robe off and wear the dress first. Your nipples poke through the fabric. Nanami bites his lower lip and leans forward to get a better look. “Now put the thong on. Slowly.”

At his direction, you slip on the lingerie slowly. When it’s past your knees, he says, “Turn around and let me see.” With your back towards him, you stick your ass out and lift the hem of the dress to slide the thong between your cheeks. 

You hear him moan quietly. “Perfect. You’re perfect. Come here, sweetheart.”

~~~

She crawls next to him, where they begin kissing, all sloppy and wet. Her hand reaches down to stroke his shaft. He cradles her bottom, fingers feeling for the lacey fabric buried between her ass cheeks.  

“Get on your back,” he orders, hovering above her, marveling at how insanely gorgeous she is. The satin dress accentuates every bodacious curve of her body. He makes a mental note to buy more of these for her in the future.

He slides his hand beneath the dress to rub his fingers on the wet spot of her lacey lingerie. “So wet for me already,” he purrs, slipping past the fabric. “Always so wet for me.”

“Please,” she pleads. He loves it when she begs. Absolutely loves it. It awakens something in him. The usually calm Kento Nanami becomes unhinged whenever he touches her. But when she begs for it, he wants nothing more than to make her feel amazing, to be the reason she squirms in pleasure beneath him.

He slides his middle finger along her folds, gathering as much slick as he can before he starts caressing her puffy clit. She whines under his touch, the sensation too much. She’s been waiting for this all night. Been begging for it. This is her reward for her patience. She grabs the nearest pillow to cover her mouth, but as soon as she does, Nanami pulls it off and tosses it behind him. 

“No,” he demands. “I want everyone to hear how good you’re getting it right now.”

He shimmies down the bed, spreading her thighs apart. With his head between her legs, he leans forward, teasing her clit with a flick of his tongue, holding her panties to the side. She grabs hold of his hair as he presses soft kisses to her clit. Suddenly, he flattens his tongue on her bud and moves it side to side, surrounding every centimeter of that pretty clit with his mouth. Lewd sounds fill the room, from her loud, shameless moaning to the wet noises he makes as he eats her out. He adjusts his position to stroke himself as he continues to devour her.

She’s like honey on his tongue, luscious and decadent. He cherishes every time he gets to do this to her. Usually, she is too shy to let him eat her out. She deprives him of this treat. He’s starved for it. With her like this, spread out like a fucking feast in front of him, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take full advantage of this moment. He latches his lips around her, sucking on it as he lets go of his cock to slide his middle and ring finger into her pussy. He watches her chest fall and rise with shallow breaths with his fingers pumping in and out of her, thumb rubbing circles around her clit. She cries out his name. “Kento!”

“Fuck. You have no idea how good you look right now, swallowing up my fingers like this.” He bucks his hips against the bed, desperate for any type of friction. All he hears from her is a litany of swears and his name. Her moans eventually turn into whimpers. He stops massaging her clit and eats her out again, this time sloppier and more erratic as he continues to work his fingers inside her. The sheets are damp with his saliva and her cum. He’s not sure how many times she orgasms; based on the evidence before him, he guesses it’s at least twice. She’s too busy taking it like a slut to even verbalize when she’s coming. 

When he’s close to his limit, he places one last tender kiss on her clit before releasing her lacey thong; he’s been holding them to the side this entire time. His fingers slip out of her, shiny with her orgasm. The temptation to suck her sweet nectar from his fingers is too good to resist. As he kneels next to her, he leans down to put his face close to hers. Her eyes widen with anticipation, waiting for his next move. With a dark look in his eyes, he licks his glossy fingers, dragging his tongue up and down, savoring it like it’s the most decadent treat. She whines, staring at him, grinding her hips up, desperate to be fucked. He never gets tired of seeing her like this.  

Fully aware of how her slick glistens on his lips and chin, he murmurs, “Taste yourself. I want you know how good you are.”

There’s a dazed expression in her eyes as she obeys, sitting up to kiss him sloppily, tongue lapping into his open mouth then down to his chin. It drives him crazy. Before he comes right then and there, he shoves his hand between her legs and tugs her panties off, admiring how soaked they are, all for him. Because of him. 

Under the pillow is the bottle of lube he hid right after he got out of the shower. He pops off the cap and pours a liberal amount into his palms, coating his shaft. He strokes his cock vigorously, asking, “Are you ready, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Kento. Please. Please. I need you inside me.”

“I know, baby. I know.” He kneels in front of her, aligning the tip of his dick with her slit, entering her slowly, careful not to be too forceful. She’s always so tight, even when she’s dripping wet for him. “Such a good girl,” he whispers, leaning over her to kiss her forehead. 

Halfway in, her body adjusts to his size, allowing him to thrust into her in fluid motions. She wraps her legs around him, babbling. “Kento, fuck. Fuck.”

“So wet for me. You’re perfect around my cock.” Once he’s fully inside her, he kisses her with open lips, tongue licking up her saliva as she moans into his mouth. He pins her wrists above her head, thrusting his hips against her. They make love like this for a while, Nanami relishing the way her body melts around him. He knows what she wants, but he takes his time teasing her like this until she groans out, “Fuck me harder. Please.”

As if on cue, he pulls out of her and taps his fingers at her hips. At his command, she flips over onto her stomach and gets on all fours, pushing her ass out. The hem of her satin dress rides up over the curve of her hips. The sight in front of him is immaculate. He wants this ingrained in his memory forever. “Think you can take it, sweetheart? I’m not gonna go easy on you.”

“Yes, baby. Fuck me hard. Please. I can take it.”

“Good girl,” he coos, placing a soft kiss on her back. Whatever she wants, he’ll give it to her, especially when she begs like this. He puts both of his hands on each of her ass cheeks and spreads them apart, watching his glistening cock slowly slide into her pussy. 

“God, I wish you could see what I see right now. It’s exquisite. You look fucking incredible like this. My sweet girl.” Once he’s all the way in, he grabs hold of her hips and fucks her. Hard. Exactly how she likes it. 

“Fuck, feels so fucking good!” she cries out. Her knuckles are tight as she clenches the sheets. He spanks her as he fucks her, causing her to groan into the pillow with her back arched. The sound of his pelvis slapping against her ass with each rapid thrust is filthy. 

“I needed this, baby. It’s been such a long week,” he grunts. “God, you take it so well. Such a slut for me, huh? Say it.”

“I’m a slut for you, Kento. Feels amazing when you fuck me like this.” 

Grip still firm on her hips, he continues to drive his cock into her, reveling in the way she swallows him up. She turns her head to the side, that dazed look on her face. Her lips are parted as she continues to moan incoherently, drool leaking down the sides of her wet mouth. When she makes eye contact with him, her lips curl into a small smile. “Right there, Kento. Make me come.”

Growling, he hits her sweet spot until she comes all over his cock. She tightens around him. his dick creamy with more of her cum with each thrust. It’s obscene; he can’t hold it in anymore. 

“Ride me,” he demands, pulling out abruptly. He rolls onto his back, watching her climb on top of him. She guides his dick inside her, exhaling deeply as she sinks lower onto his shaft. It goes in easily, her pussy sleek from her multiple orgasms, his own precum, and the lube from earlier. When he bottoms out, she leans over him, kissing him passionately as she thrusts her ass back and forth onto his cock. 

“Just like that. Fuck,” he moans. This is his absolute favorite position. He loves it when she rides him like this. Always so eager and greedy for his cum whenever she’s on top. It makes him feel like a fucking god. He cranes his neck to the side, tugging on the hem of her dress to watch her bounce on his lap. “I fucking love this. You know how much I love this, you fucking nasty slut.” 

“I’m such a nasty slut for you, baby. Only for you. Fuck,” she moans into his ear, riding him faster. 

He’s close. How he’s managed to last this long without coming, he’ll never know. Maybe his stamina has improved after all the sex they’ve been having recently. Or maybe it’s the thought of coming in her like this that kept him under control. Whatever it is, he decides he’s been patient long enough. 

“Let me take over,” he whispers to her.

Her body relaxes. Now, he’s in control. He plants his feet onto the bed and thrusts into her at a rapid pace, holding onto her waist to move her in perfect rhythm with his hips. 

“Come inside me, Kento. Fill me up,” she mewls into his ear.

At her words, he releases inside her, shutting his eyes tight as he rides out the rest of his orgasm. When he’s finished, he pulls out and she collapses beside him. The dress is defiled with the aftermath of their lovemaking, just as he fantasized about. 

~~~

You put your arm over his chest and lay your head against his shoulder. “Wow,” is all you can muster, voice shaky. Nanami just rocked your fucking world, and you can’t find better words to describe it. 

He chuckles, his eyes still closed. “Yeah. Wow.” He takes your hand and kisses the inside of your wrist. “I’m sorry for calling you a slut.”

You giggle. He always does this. “You don’t have to keep apologizing for that! You know I like it.”

“I usually don’t use degrading language like that. I just want to make sure it’s still okay with you.” You can’t contain your smile. He’s too cute for his own good. 

“By the way, how long have you been planning this?” you ask.

He finally opens his eyes and faces you. “All week. Saw the dress on display at a mall in Osaka. I knew it would look magnificent on you. It’s even better than what I imagined.”

“You sneaky devil!”

“I’m only this way because of you. You really unleash the devil in me.” He grins, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“I guess I’m the lucky angel then, huh?”

“You are,” he says, peppering kisses on your face. “My sweet angel. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

After a few more minutes of post-coital cuddling, the two of you wash up again and get ready for a well-deserved sleep. You snuggle each other in pure bliss, looking forward to more vacations with the man you love. 

Tag List: @chiyoso @bloombb @liliorsstuff-blog

#nanami smut #kento nanami smut #nanami kento smut #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami kento fluff #kento nanami x reader #kento nanami x you #kento nanami fluff #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami fluff #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #a bento for kento #sweet like honey

[izvmimi]

cw: dead dove do not eat. horror. love as consumption (bad). cannibalism. true form sukuna. reader with female pronouns.

Uraume doesn’t like you, hasn’t from the very second they met you, and never will. 

Uraume doesn’t like a lot of people, especially not any of the wives, and you’ve once wondered if the way that wives get disposed of when they’ve outlived their duty has anything to do with their own specific…recommendations, but it’s all moot point. All that matters is that Uraume hates you particularly, possibly because you are the favorite, but not favored concubine, and it has nothing to do with envy or malice, it’s something far deeper than that.

Uraume is actually smiling, a severe upturn of both corners of their thin lips that crinkles their eyes and looks painfully unnatural, as though imitated from a painting with minimal practice, when the heavy, padded doors that carry out your confinement finally unseal. 

Light floods the dark room and blinds your eyes practically. You’re not sure what time it is; it’s been hours since you’ve been locked within these four walls, and you don’t remember the last time water or food has graced your lips. It must be over a day you think, typical of the punishments he doles out to you because despite the fact that he acts severe, in some small way he does truly dote on you. After all, it’s been a year and you’ve yet to be digested or maimed, all of your limbs present down to the fingers and toes, skin unmarred, both eyes still able to look at Uraume in the face and piss them off, lips and tongue still pleasing to the demon’s scarlet eyes and hard at work in the depths of night.

Uraume lowers their eyes as they approach you, then bows. It’s ridiculous that Sukuna makes them do this, a mockery even, because you’re both slaves to that demon’s wit and power and you know intuitively that even if Uraume is poised as subservient to you, they are of far more use and necessity than you are. Warm bodies are a dime a dozen, even if you’ve managed to convince the owner of the harem that your pussy is particularly pleasing. Either way, right now, he’s mad at you, and while you have not died, your starving stomach turns at the same time as it growls, disorganized like a thrashing tantruming child, and your brain wants to entice you to vomit, even if your mouth is watering.

Uraume thinks it’s particularly hilarious to see you like this, frenzied as the wafting smell of the food they’ve brought you hits your nostrils and they flare like a beast. 

Perhaps it hasn’t been just a day. Perhaps longer. Your breathing is deep and straggled as you hold your arms around your growling stomach, and try to collect yourself into a kneeling position, lacking the strength to stand. 

“Princess,” Uraume says mockingly. Sukuna does not require them to call you this, wouldn’t dare call you this in front of him, but they are doing it now grinning as they present the tray to you. 

The food smells contradictorily heavenly, and you hate that such an evil human being (if you can call them that) is such a good cook. The savory aroma can practically put you in a frenzy, almost as powerful as the desire that swells up inside you when you’re filled with Sukuna’s ample presence, but you know better.

This isn’t the first time. You know better.

“Eat.”

Uraume’s tray practically drops in front of you, and you reflexively clamor towards it. An ornate assortment, dressed in red. Red wine, red meat, red, red, red. Red strawberries fed to you by candlelight as your body was stretched to the limit, palms pressed against Sukuna’s chest, pushed into your mouth, skewered by the point of a clawed finger. Sweet juices running down your chin, your slick running down the shaft of Sukuna’s cocks, saliva pooling in your drooling mouth. 

You can’t eat this, but you are so, so hungry.

“Who is it?” you venture to ask, but your voice only comes out as a hoarse rasp.

Uraume snorts.

“Does it matter? You’ll still feed like a dog.”

As they berate you, you’re already hand in plate, forgoing any utensils, eating rabidly. The meat has a sweet aftertaste to it, again like the strawberries you covet from him. You gorge yourself, Uraume watching with a sneer, in part disgusted, in part entertained.

Uraume doesn’t have to remind you that the cup you use to force down the bolus of food you’ve just taken in is blood diluted thinly. The irony aftertaste is barely perceptible when you’re this ravenous. Tears run through the corner of your eyes as you continue to eat. Uraume’s food is an orgasmic experience, you’re always moved, no matter what they prepare. You’d eat by the mouthfuls, drink by the gallons if you were allowed to.

Funny how you’re only allowed this experience when you misbehave.

Uraume stands in wait as you continue to bite and chew and swallow and sigh, then shakes their head. 

“Do you still want to know?” they ask finally, once the plate has been licked clean. Your face is tearstained but your belly is full, and in a couple more hours you can leave to service your master once again. As a treat.

Perhaps he’ll feed you something sweet again. Perhaps not strawberries this time, perhaps something that’s no longer red, something with a myriad of colors along with a complexity of taste. You’ve only been shrouded in darkness for the past few days after all, you’d love some light.

Now that the food is gone, you don’t want to think anymore.

“No,” you whisper, trying to contain the moroseness in your voice.

Uraume snorts.

“Remember that child you smiled at?” they start, anyway. You reflexively cover your ears and Uraume won’t force your hands down, they know you’ll hear them anyway. “In the courtyard, on your daily trip. You’re supposed to keep your eyes straight ahead, remember princess? You wanted this opportunity, didn’t you?”

You curl into a ball but Uraume would like it if you crumbled. The food was delicious, you do not have to know where it came from. He would have eaten that child anyway. It doesn’t matter if it was you. You are but part of the whole. A small part. The whole is Sukuna. The evil is him.

The smile is back on Uraume’s face - perhaps they will get that practice after all.

“I’ll be back shortly to clean you up for tonight’s service. I’ll leave the gate open. Enjoy the fresh air.”

The fact that all the food doesn’t come back up as fast as it went down is proof enough that you are no longer being reprimanded, you are being trained.

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #true form sukuna x reader #cw cannibalism #cw yandere #daydreams: jjk #mimi’s notes

[baekhvuns]

bodyguard.

synopsis : in which his task is to be your bodyguard, his mob-boss’s daughter. where he not only guards you but also guards your body.

pairing : seonghwa x reader

themes : romcom, angst & smut.

word count : 37.8K.

to say that your father trusted you was a correct statement to some extent, but what he didn’t trust was the environment you were brought up in.

raising two kids despite being a mafia syndicate and hiding his very mafia-like tendencies wasn’t always easy, considering that both his kids would run around during meetings that not a single soul was to hear.

being raised in a secluded home- mansion per-say that was directly out of a architectural digest magazine, the one your father built from his own hands. residing in it with a happy family with his lovely wife, you, and your younger brother.

he had given you and your brother the bestest facilities growing up, from sending you two to prestigious schools despite having no idea what they actually were to giving you two toys that were only ever made twice in the world.  

but now that you, his eldest has grown up. he can’t help but be vary of the environment you were in, it’s not that he didn’t trust you. he didn’t trust a single soul outside his house.

he broke his pact and told you what he did for living the day you turned eighteen, he expected a completely different reaction to the one you gave him. which went along the lines of, “oh, okay.”

so now that you were of age and so were the heirs to other’s mafia groups, he was hesitant to send you anywhere without proper security. seeing how excessively violent his field of work can get, having tiny, minuscule disagreements that could have the worst possible results.

and how you were to take over your father’s position one day, he couldn’t ever risk you or his family getting hurt. it’ll be the one thing that’ll kill him if one day someone gets their hands on his much-protected family.  

So, when he makes a decision, looking at the fine, young, tall man dressed in the finest of suits payed by your father. black hair slicked back, a tie with a pin of your dad’s group the crown.

a smile on his wrinkly face he lifts his forefinger up and motions for the man to come closer, who bows his head and then walks stiffly towards you father who sat on his office chair.

“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,” his raspy voice says, eyes falling over the man, who he thinks is quite handsome, and will cause him some trouble in the future.

“yes, sir.” he hears and smiles, “i will not give you a moment of disgrace, if i do, please fire me.”

a laugh bubbles out your dad’s mouth as he shakes his head, leaning forward on the table with a stance that terrified the man standing in front with his arms crossed behind his back.

“and if you do mr park.” your father enunciates, “i won’t. spare you.”

with a quick swallow the younger man nods and your father leans back with a smile, hands resting on each armrest he lifts a hand to tell him that.

“my daughter will be off soon, she’ll come here straight.” he mumbles and the man nods, “i will give you some rules to follow but i believe this is basic knowledge since you have been my guard, am i right park?”

“yes, sir.”

you father reaches for his glasses, placing them over his nose bridge yet still squinting his eyes as he reads the printed sheet of paper. written on it were rules he and his wife made just last night, sitting on their bed conspiring safety measurements.

“number one,” he starts, “you are to never leave my daughter alone, be it in public settings or more closed off settings.”

“yes, sir.”

you father ticks an eyebrow up and continues with a nod and a quick scan of the man, “two. you are to accompany my only daughter and ensure her utmost safety. her life comes first, understood park?”

“yes, sir.”

your father raises his eyes to meet the boy’s, “i assume you have more than just ‘yes, sir’s’ in your vocabulary?”

“i do, sir.”

he smirks, likes how the man keeps it short and simple. “moving on,” he exhales, “as she will be taking over my position in the coming future, you shall always be her right-hand man in any case scenario.”

“four,” he sits up straight, “do not leave my daughter alone in case of emergencies, she is your responsibility at all times.”

“i won’t disappoint you, sir.”

with a nod he continues, clearing his throat as he reads the next one. “fifth, you are to not make any relation with my daughter.”

your father looks ahead, eyes forming into slits. “do not touch my daughter or hurt her, if i get a hunch, i’ll cut your hands off.”

a shaky nod leaves the man. “do not make any sorts of relationship with her, be it courtship or any sort of sexual relationship.”

“am i making myself clear?”

“y-yes, sir.” he responds, “i’m not to make any mistakes that can sadden you, i will pay good attention on that.”

“good,” he smiles, “you can however be friends…to a limit.”

“do n-“

“dad!”

your father’s grim turns into a big smile, face brightening when he hears your call for him. bursting through his office doors with arms wide open and running to him, “oh sweetheart! how was school?”

he asks as you roll your eyes and hug him, “dad you keep forgetting it’s not school anymore, it’s a university!”

when he pulls back, he pats your forearm, “forgive this old man, i’m a little forgetful at times.”

you raise an eyebrow, “forgetful? not when you remember to take a daily shot of whi-“

“okay, okay!” you smile, your dad huffing before he looks ahead and you follow his line of vision.

there stood a man who suddenly stood straighter when your eyes landed on him, you don’t realize your father holding your hand because you’re so busy staring at the man in front of you.

clad in those black tuxes, a gun holster you know is attached to his broader chest. you can’t help but look at the way the tux cinches his waist, your tongue runs across your right cheek as you take the man’s appearance in.

“y/n,”

“yes, dad.” you reply, eyes on the man who never spared you a glance.

“meet your new bodyguard,” you raise an eyebrow. “park seonghwa.”

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on.” you watch the man bow, “i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

you bite back a smile at the use of ma’am that’s never been used to address you, and instead you lean back on your bed a little. watching the man’s his upper body for a few seconds and which then stood straight, feet apart and hands crossed behind his back.

“hi, seonghwa.” you say, and he nods, “you have to be with me everywhere?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“call me y/n.”

“yes ma’am.”

with a shake of your head you continue, “do you have to be there at my university?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“when i go to malls, clubs or those events?”

“yes, yes and yes.”

you smile at his response and then cross your legs over the other, being amused at the way he stares at your face and not look down when you crossed your legs. gentleman you thought.

“even…” you lean forward a little, “to the bathroom?”

he pauses for a little and then clears his throat, “public places, ma’am.”

“what about public bathrooms?” you blink twice and his lips form into a line.

“i’m afraid that’s a place i’m not allowed in,” he mumbles, so formal that it hurt you to admit you liked it. “to satisfy your privacy that is.”

with a smile you reach out to grab the thin file your father had given to you, “i assume this is your file, right?”

“yes, ma’am.”

you flip through the papers to see a passport size photo of seonghwa, staring at it a tad bit longer because you finally get to see his eyes that aren’t hidden by the dark sunglasses he wore. they’re sharp, feline-like, scary but so warm that it tingled your fancy.

“you’re a really high-profile man seonghwa, what are you going to do trailing behind me?” you ask as your eyes graze the achievements of the man and no wonder, he’s in your dad’s personal security squad, his credentials are simply spectacular.

from the way he can use almost any artillery given, dismantle and rearrange them to being an assassin for a long running italian mafia before, that one definitely piqued your interest.

“i serve your family ma’am, your father specifically.” he says, looking at you going through his profile. “whatever he says are my orders, ma’am.”

“stop calling me that,”

“yes, ma’am.”

you sigh and then look at him, then pat the spot on the bed you sat on. “if you’re going to be my bodyguard, we should get to know each other!”

“i’m sorry ma’am, i’m not here to make any sort of relationship with you.” he says, sternly. “i’m prohibited to do so.”

“do you always use those fancy, formal words?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“how would you like for me to address you?” you ask, tilting your head to the side a little. “i can’t call you bodyguard everywhere, people can get suspicious.”

“park seonghwa.” he nods after saying that.

you lean an elbow on your leg, tapping your chin as if thinking what to call him when you already know. “what about hwa?”

“seonghwa.”

“what about seong?”

“park seonghwa, ma’am.” he emphasizes, and you grin, your eye smile on display.

“okay, hwa!”

you know he inhales at his defeat, but it only makes you smile more, “so since i know a bit about you, you should know something about me! go on, ask me questions.”

“i have no questions ma’am,” he responds, and you frown.

“not even one?”

he shakes his head, “i already know the most i’ve to know about you, your allergies for emergencies and your daily schedule.”

you nod, “you know about my family?”

he smiles just a bit, “i work for them, of course i do.” he says, briefly glancing at his watch. “i believe your younger brother will be off school now, would you like to go pick him up?”

“ew no,” you scrunch your nose, “why would i go pick up that idiot.”

“as you wish,” he nods and then takes a step back, “if you need anything, please call for me. i’ll be down the hallwa-“

“i don’t have your number,” you grin, reaching for your phone and handing it out to him. “go on, don’t be shy now.”

“i’m not allowed to use your phone ma’am,” you throw your head back and groan, standing on your feet and then walking towards him, just enough till you’re standing right in front.

your finger lifts up to poke his hard chest that you know he works out for, “stop calling me ma’am, we are almost the same age.” you see the slight shift in his posture, “i have a name and its y/n. second, you are my bodyguard. you can use my phone, third you’re about to step on my cat’s tail.”

the third one catches him so off-guard that he takes a quick jump to the side, both your eyes falling to the floor where a cute siamese floofball sat, adorably innocent wide eyes and head tilted with its tail curled in a coil.

“you said you know everyone in my family,” you kneel down, reaching your hand out for your cat who complies and places it’s face on the palm of your hand. “but you forgot my cat, meet dumbles.”

you see the way seonghwa’s head does a quick snap tilt, “…dumbles?” he asks, momentarily leaving the sternness out of him and kneeling down beside you to stare at your round cat.

“you haven’t watched harry potter?” you ask, petting your cat’s head as he purrs and closes his eyes.

“i-i have ma’am,” he quickly adds, his nerd self-having a field day in his mind. “i just don’t know how that relates?”

“dumbles, short for dumbledore.” you hear him sigh at the name and it makes you snort, reaching to hold your cat like a baby you nudge him to seonghwa. “he’s more like my bodyguard really.”

and it’s the first time you’ve seen a full smile grace his plump lips when he reaches to pet dumbles, “i think i’m going to have to compete for this job?”

with a purr of your cat and a laugh that bubbles out of you, it’s then when you suddenly lean closer to his face. eyes squinty and he looks up, despite his glasses covering his eyes you can clearly make out that he’s blinking repeatedly.

“you’re cute.”

“ma’am, we’ll be late for your first class.”

you bring the blanket to your face, “ma’am, it’s already 11:30, your class starts in an hour.”

“seonghwa, are you my mother or my bodyguard?” you groan, peeking a little from your blanket with droopy and squinty eyes.

“your bodyguard ma’am,” you hear him say, then hearing his footsteps go the side of your room and push the curtains away to reveal the sun. “my duty is for you to be at your university right now.”

he hears a whine come from behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see you twisted in some random position as you stretched, taking the entire blanket with you. he hears you yawn his name in a singing voice and all he does is stand at the foot of your bed; hands folded behind him.

you lift your head up on your elbow, eyeing seonghwa’s ever so classic and sophisticated tux with a smile. “gooood morning, seong!”

“good morning, ma’am, please get ready.” he taps his wristwatch, “breakfast is ready downstairs.”

“how are you doing seong?” you ask, completely avoiding whatever he said with a smile.

“very well ma’am,” he says, tapping his watch once again. “it’s time for you to be downstairs ma’am.”

your lips form into a small pout and you shift on the bed, until you’re sitting crisscross in front of him. “you know my mom would love you,” he says nothing, “you’d be someone who’d make me go everywhere on time.”

“that is my job ma’am.”

“good,” you nod, then extending your hand out to him. “could you please help me get out of bed?”

he says nothing but reaches his larger hand to grab yours, his slightly calloused hands holding your softer ones before he juts you up with one hand. so quick and strong that you almost land on seonghwa instead, “thank you, hwa.”

“no worries, ma’am.” he straightens himself up, taking a few steps back and not looking anywhere but your face. “i’ll be downstairs by the bentley.”

you would’ve never thought that you would ever find a man so classy, so hot and yet so infuriating at times. specifically, when he calls you ma’am or quietly slides you a sheet of your schedule of your classes to remind you of the time again at the breakfast table, making your sibling laugh.

so, when you walked out decked in your branded clothes, that one, you barely wore. two, chanel’s tweed jacket keeps poking you in your side and three to match you little- tall bodyguard.

it’s the way you look like his counterpart if not for the gold chanel pin you have on top of your chest, a wide smile on your face that can only be described as sheepish and a jump to your steps.

the drive to your uni is filled with nothing but silence, despite the looks you throw at him from the rear that you know he manages to see once in a while. or the way he shakes his head when he sees you poke your tongue out at him the middle of a red light.

“are you going inside too?” you ask once you get out of the car, flattening your skirt and then clutching your bag tighter.

“yes ma’am.” he merely nods after instead motioning for you to walk first so he walks behind.

and you do as told, walking in front full well knowing a tall, intimidatingly attractive man is walking behind you. seeing the stares, you’re getting it’s only making you prove a point that he is in fact, the finest man you’ve laid your eyes on.

your heels and his shoes match in pace, click clacking against the university marble floor. he walks in silence, occasionally using an arm to swat anyone in your way which makes him brush your arm quite often and leads him to apologize.

when you’re about to enter the classroom, he abruptly comes to a stop in front of you.

“what’s going on, seong?”

“i’ve to check the class for your safety, ma’am.” he says, and your laugh gets drowned by the chatter of students when he opens the door to peek inside. he then steps aside, opening the door for you fully and gesturing for you to walk in. “after you.”

“thank you,” you quickly mumble, suddenly being aware of the stares you’re getting as you hurry to walk to your seat.

once you’re settled down, the lingering figure of seonghwa stood by you. you glance at him and then the class who obviously looked at him, some in awe, some in confusion and the rest with their jaws dropped.

“you don’t have to come in my class,” you whisper, “there’s nothing to worry here.”

he bends at his waist, “i can’t do that ma’am, there’s quite a lot of threat in this class.” he says, eyeing the room. “your dad’s seventh enemy’s nephew sits thirteen seats behind you, anything could happen.”

with a discreet glance over your shoulder and the obvious sign of danger that emitted 13 seats away from you. eyebrow slit and eyes ready to throw daggers you slowly turn to seonghwa, “okay…” you shift to the right, “sit by me then.”

“i can’t do that ma’am.”

you raise an eyebrow, ears twitching at the door to the classroom opening and knowing your teacher walked in. and if he saw a man dressed in a black suit, an earpiece, tall standing by you. you’d surely get in trouble.

you grab onto his sleeve, “shut up, and sit down.”

“m-“

“it’s an order, mr park.”

you knew that hit the mark when you visibly see him stiffen. nodding his head and then unbuttoning his tux to have a seat beside you, your eyes on the teacher and him leaning back to take a seat.

it’s only then when one of your seatmates, kyle decides to open his mouth and ask you a question that has seonghwa raising his eyebrows in disappointment.

“yo, y/n,” you look to your right, “can i borrow a pen?”

“oh!” you mumble, “ye-“

“keep your hands to yourself mister,” you hear seonghwa’s voice come from behind you sternly say, the sudden warmth radiating from him lingering on your back. you can’t see him, but you know the voice has kyle’s eyes widening. “bring your own pen kid, this is university not elementary.”

“s-sorry sir,” you hear his stutter, and it makes you look at seonghwa with a frown, who in return sighs and takes a pen out of his tux pocket.

“bring your own next time,” you hear him mumble before he sits back on the chair, back leaned and legs crossed neatly.

“would you like to get something to eat?” you hear him ask from the driver’s seat, eyes meeting yours through the rear mirror.

“did you really have to give him your pen?” you ask instead, leaning closer to place your chin on the driver’s seat.

“i can’t let anyone else have you-“ you raise an eyebrow when he stops the car at the right moment. “-r property.”

“so, you’d just give anyone your pen?” you say, hearing him tap his fingers along the steering wheel.

he nods curtly. “i believe your class tomorrow is at eight in the morning-“

you groan, “why do you always talk about school?” sporting a pout you look in the rear view, knowing that under his dark sunglasses he is staring at you.

“i’ll set the alarm,“ he replies and your shoulders slump lower. “ma’am.”

with a sigh, you lean back on the seat. pouting in frustration as the sound of your phone momentarily distracts you, you flip it to face you and scroll through the messages.

kai, 4:56pm

y/n

party tonight?

ryan’s place

y/n, 4:57pm

????

why his place

ew

what time

kai, 4:59pm

uhhh

starts at 11

pick you up @ 12?

you snap your head up, “hey hwa, what time was my class tomorrow?”

“eight in the morning, ma’am.”

you curse under your breath, “shit, my hangover would kill me..” you bite down on your lip. looking at seonghwa through your lashes before looking down at the screen.

y/n, 5:01pm

ill drivo there

*drive

i’ll just meet u there

kai, 5:03pm

don’t be late dummy

you chuck your phone to the side when seonghwa calls for you, “y-yeah?”

“i won’t give my pens,” he pulls into your estate. “if that’s not what you’re comfortable with ma’am.”

“no, no,” you look out, mind completely not thinking about the party you’ve got to go too. plus, how will you go? with the tight security your dad has up on each and every wall of this house, you’re done for good. “you do, what you want! yeah!”

because if seonghwa’s supposed to be with you the entire day, how will you secretly- grab your stuff and get ready? how will you even make it past the entrance? surely you can’t use the front doors? gosh.

“ma’am, we are here.”

with that you grab your stuff in a hurry, opening the door you look at him one last time. “thanks for today seonghwa, but i have a really big exam tomorrow-“ you nod repeatedly. “and, uh, i won’t be out of my room till late! y-you can get an early lay off today! bye!”

“yes ma’am..”

you can’t do this.

you can’t go to the party with a hundred guards and doberman’s surrounding your place.

and you absolutely cannot go with seonghwa being just outside your door, “ma’am, shall i ask for your dinner to be prepared?”

you sit down on your bed, looking at the floor length mirror in front. there’s no way, absolutely no way you can escape this house in a dress that reaches till your thighs and in heels longer than your fingers.

before you can grab your phone, you hear another knock at your door. “ma’am?”

y/n, 11:47pm

kai

im not coming

kai, 11:49pm

why y/n

pls

you can’t leave me alone

with their shitshow

idk anyone

“give me a second seonghwa!”

y/n, 11:55pm

you know the entire school

doofus

kai, 11:55pm

so

pls

u can’t see me

but im on my knees

y/n, 12:00pm

fine

u owe me

kai, 12:01pm

2$

take it or leave it

“ma’am?”

you snap your head up to look at the door, closing your eyes and then opening them with a shake of your head. “i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!” you yell, wanting him to leave so you can plan your own. “thank you for today!”

“have a goodnight, ma’am.”

oh, you’re about too, you grin. hearing the clacks of seonghwa’s shoes fade with each step, you rise slowly. grabbing your leather jacket, heels in hand because ain’t no way you’re jumping out your window in them.

you slowly go and turn off your lights, a perfect way to tell that you’re asleep. with a small smile, you push open the window that leads outside just by the garages. as you do so, you see the front gates open. presumably seonghwa leaving the premises, it makes you smile knowing no one will catch you.

with an inhale, cold air flushes inside making you shiver with excitement and the eagerness to get a drink.

you first, look around, knowing the lights at this time are dimmed for privacy sakes. you’ll find it easier to escape, so you carefully extend your hand out—  (after sneaking a peek at your sleeping cat) the one that held your heels and slowly, one by one, throw them to the ground.

the soft sound of your heels hitting the grass is quiet, but you know it can pick the ears of the doberman’s your father loves, with a whine you throw your leg over the ledge. and then do the same with the other, sitting on the ledge fully with your balance perfect.

you look in the room once, knowing you’ve got a fake you covered in a blanket there, knowing your doors locked and knowing seonghwa’s gone home.

with that you jump.

your first mistake was to land on your shoes, making you twist your ankle, and a shriek leaves you but that’s quickly suppressed with the hand you put on your mouth.  

biting back the pain as your face scrunches up for a scream that your hand hides, you slowly bend down to grab your heels. slowly placing pressure on your feet turn by turn despite a cry you’re desperately wanting to let out.

your eyes switch into night mode, as if they were cameras and begun to step outside the grassy area under your balcony towards the long trees aligning the main road you father had gotten built that connects to the long entrance gates to the french door entrance to your house’s lobby.

your one hand holds your heels, the same hand holding your jacket and the other clothing onto your phone that keeps ringing and you know it’s gonna wake the dogs up and you will start crying. so, the only option was to cut it or pick up.

you picked up.

“y/n? bro where you at?” you roll your eyes at kai’s shaky voice. “i’m alone, this is not fun.”

“stop being like this,” you grit, clutching your phone while tip toeing across the road while hiding behind the long trees. “you’re already dancing i know!” you whisper-yell and hear his snort.

“hurry up you weenie!” he yells, and you whisper a few curse words. “or your new bodyguard might come and get you.”

that makes you stand straight, eyes narrowing as if you’re staring kai down.

“how do you know that?” you ask, voice lowered.

“everyone at our uni knows it,” he laughs, “the tall guy who walked in fully dressed in a tux? can’t be the business majors, can it?”

“oh, shut it,” you whisper, growing closer to the gates while looking back and forth for anyone. “good thing my guards gone home, nothings stopping me from that drink tonight!”

“unless your dogs-“

“i will see you there!” you cut him off, leaning against the tree, hiding as if you were in an action movie you turn your head to the right.

you’re ten steps away from the iron gates, one step to your victory but that one step is cut in half when you see the gatekeeper sitting with eyes wide open. and you know, you know it’s the first time he does so anyways because every other time he’s dozing off.

with a pained smile you slide closer to the tree, successfully in a second having your back against the high cement walls with no suspicion.

your eyes land on the gate in a gate (a small one that mimics a prison, ironic) that’s latched open, you grin. eyes flickering between the gatekeeper and the gate, and just as the man snaps his head down. you’re suddenly shapeshifting into a snake and running out the door with no noise.

once you run out, you run  as if your life depended on it. which it did, if your father found out about your early morning endeavors, you’re grounded for good.

and you can’t believe how he still can ground you in your mid-twenties, with a shake of your head you keep running and looking back from time to time before you find yourself in an alley.

your back leaned against the brick as you breathed heavily, chest going up and down as you swallowed the dryness. running a hand through your hair and wiping anything excess on your face before you lean down, throwing your heels before you slip your feet in them.

holding your phone out and texting kai that you’d be there in a few, without your car as you clasped on the ankle strap of your jimmy choo’s you hear a groan coming from your right.

you freeze midway of clasping the strap together, swallowing before comically looking to your right where the dark alley had begun to look even darker. you inhale a nervous breath before quickly slipping on your other heel, not wanting to spend a second here any longer as the groans become louder, and your eyes become wider.

and then you hear a full sentence, you know you’re in trouble. but that doesn’t scare you, what scares you is your father finding about this trouble.

“raise a hand and you won’t see the day of tomorrow.”

“…and it’s my time to leave,” you whisper, holding your phone tighter as you stood up. eyes sneakily looking at the alley as you slowly move towards the road with the aching ankle of yours.

but as you take another step, you hear the loud cry of someone that makes you freeze. but what solidified your death was when your phone rang in the midst of the after silence of the cry.

“who’s there?”

you freeze for what feels like hours and then snap to reality, hurriedly shutting your phone off and cursing kai’s name. you look back at the alley, swallowing with a pained expression before slowly beginning to creep away.

but it’s then when you hear a surge of footsteps filling your ears, your eyes widening, and you grip onto your dress before making a run.

“hey! get back here!”

“catch her!”

so, you run, you run as if your dogs are chasing you, as if your mother has found out what you’re doing late out at night dressed to get sick. or how your father would immediately blow up on you and the thought of getting into trouble, but that was on the last of your mind.

you’re running down the street, injured at the ankle, in your jimmy choo’s while a group of men run after you. you know they are holding weapons because you looked over your shoulder and it made you run even faster.

the cold wind slaps your face, makes your eyes watery and pushes your hair back as the road becomes downhill, your mouth begins to spew out curse words and screams that you hope make the men run away because you know only a god can save you from this.

“h-hey!” you scream, thinking you’d have a wise conversation with the group of guys who only seem to roar even louder and it’s at this point that your ankle begins to burn, and your eyes begin to tear up from the cold wind. “you don’t know who i am!”

“we don’t care!”

you cry out, “my father runs the mafia!”

“if your dad runs the mafia, my dad is tom cruise!” you hear one of them yell and you quicken your speed.

you frown as you run, “what the fuck!?”

“get her!”

the street gets darker and darker but with the semi-working streetlights, you’re able to make out stores and houses around you. neon signs of sketchy restaurants where they sell alcohol for a dollar (you obviously knew, because you tried), or small departmental stores lining the streets.

you’re running so fast, that a crowd of people don’t stop you. you push past them in an attempt to lose the men, but they seem to have found you no matter what, it’s then when you see a man walk out a local 7/11.

your first instinct is to wave, but when the man turns around. eyes on the ground, hand holding a white bag and not a care in the world.

you think you’re about to lose him, until it takes everything in you to scream. “hey!” loud enough for the man to turn around and when he does. you wish you never screamed; you wish you never sneaked out of your room.

because the last thing you expect on a friday night is to be caught by your bodyguard.

“i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!”

“have a goodnight, ma’am.”

“god no,” you whisper, half happy that you found him, and half scared shitless. “shit.”

as you’re nearing him, your body automatically begins to slow down. and once you do, you’re standing right in front of him. breathing heavily and swallowing as your throat dried.

“t-this is not how it looks like-“ you look back, seeing the men beginning to slow down as they approach you and him. “-i promise!”

“what’s going on?” he speaks and for the first time you hear him without his uptight vocabulary that doesn’t consist of ma’am’s or sir’s.

“i thought you were asleep?” he raises an eyebrow, and you look at him up and down, clad in a black hoodie with matching sweats. you think you like him better this way.

“i…i thought i was too,” you chuckle, humourlessly and awkwardly.

“hey!”

you two turn around at the loud yell and you take a step back, “i-it’s a long story-“ you swallow, coming to stand closer to him as seonghwa take a step forward. “-i’ll explain the rest later!”

seonghwa gives you a blank stare, raising an eyebrow and you just know he’s shooting you in his mind. “are you hurt?”

you blink, “huh?”

he looks back at the men, “are you hurt, ma’am?” and then looks at your blinking eyes.

you shake your head slowly, “no,” he then hands you the white bag he held prior, and you look at him with a frown. “…..are you doing what i’m thinking you’re about to do?”

you take the bag from, and he nods. “i’m doing exactly what you’re thinking.”

you grip the bag tighter, pulling your lips into a determined grin and raising your hands into fists to urge him on. “….we’re running right?”

he looks over his shoulder before snorting, “i’m going to go do my job.” he then points at you. “stay here.”

“you’re not on-“

“oi you two!” you snap your eyes at the men in front, hand on their waists and bored expressions on their faces. “if you’re done talking, get her here, we’ve got some business to finish!”

you blink, feeling your heartbeat take a sudden increase as you hold the bag tighter. “don’t worry about it ma’am, i can handle this.” with that he begins to walk towards them, and you panic when your eyes flash at the guns and knives they held.

as quick as your mouth opened to yell, it zipped even quicker when seonghwa’s back comes to blind you from those in front. you hear groans and curses being thrown at seonghwa who stares at them blankly, inhaling before lifting his hand up. motioning them to come forward with two of his fingers.

and then it felt like a blur when seonghwa raised his fist and smashed it in the man’s jaw, your mouth drops at the sight. instinctively holding your own jaw as if you felt the pain, eyes widening as you stare at the scene in front of you.

one vs at-least seven.

with the way seonghwa’s elbow jabs in their ribs, strong punches to their jaws and kicks to their stomach your mouth is left hung open. it felt as if you were watching a live action movie, maybe even a boxing match.

your eyes follow seonghwa’s every move, the way his eyes turn into slits. hair moving with every punch he makes, the groans from his mouth and the movement of his muscle. you can’t help but gawk at him.

from the way he rolled his hoodie up to his elbow, showcasing the ink he’s got that stops just before it goes above his elbow. swirls of art that you’re so entranced by that you totally blind side the fact that seonghwa’s yelling for you.

“ma’am!”

you quickly snap out of your thoughts and look for where you’re hearing his voice, once you do your eyes widen. “hey!” you yell, seeing seonghwa in a rear chokehold. two of the men holding him down while one of them begins to walk towards you.

you take a step back, gripping the bag to your chest with wide eyes while seonghwa yells at you from the back. “y-your shoes!”

you frown, holding the bag tighter as you yell back. “what shoes?! where!”

“your shoes! use them!”

“to hit him?!”

“yes!”

you give him a look, “my jimmy choo’s!?”

he nods and you stare at him with an unreadable face before he yells for you again, “you can buy more!”

you swallow, looking down at your shoes that you know you can’t buy more. but even so, you put the bag away, take your shoes off. hold the heel side up, raising both your hands up before yelling and running towards the herd.

barefoot, in a leather jacket and fighting some goons with heels was something straight out of a romcom. on a friday night, you expect yourself to be with your friends and not smacking heels into people’s chests.

“i’m so sorry, this is gonna hurt-“ you yank the heel down and hear a loud groan and it has you shivering. “i told you this will hurt!”

for a few minutes you keep doing what seonghwa has told you, heel after heel you’ve left them with wounds that ooze fresh blood and just the sight of it makes you grim.

you think you two are set to go but then the men begin to gather around you two in a circle, your back finds itself attached to seonghwa’s.

broken heels in hands, the ribbon design on them falling somewhere along with way whole the structure is completely damaged.

“now…” you inhale, swallowing as you stare at their angry faces. “what do we do now?”

“do you know how to fight?”

you pause, biting your lower lip in frustration.  “no, i..never learned.”

he says nothing but stands straighter, “i’m going to pick you up,” your head snaps to him.

“what?” you whisper, eyeing the man standing in front of you. who, with his injuries still manages to stand.

“by the waist,” he continues, eyeing the others on his side. “use your feet to kick them while i spin you.”

“this is insane,” he hears you say and smiles a bit before replying, “this is what we do for living.”

“can’t we just run?” you ask, looking around the road to see ample amount of space to run.

“it’s not easy,” he replies, “if this gets to your father..that is.”

you turn around on instinct, “right.” and then glare at the men. “do it then, i’m sure we’ve both got places to be.”

he spares no second and turns you around, hooking his arms under your armpits before hoisting you up. “kick!” he yells, and you do as he says, eyes shut tight and legs kicking while he spins you around.

you’re so sure you hear a faded snort coming from seonghwa while you’re hitting arms and chests and faces that when he puts you down, he makes sure your jacket is still on and that your balance remains as you collapse in his arms.

when your eyes land on the ground, a sigh leaves your lips at the sight. hearing groans and curses being spewed while a few of them tried to drag themselves away, your eyes then snap to your shoes only to see them ruined.

your jaw drops and your first instinct is to go and grab them, but instead seonghwa snakes his arm around your waist and swoops you to his towering front. your hands fall flat against his chest, eyes widening at what he was doing that is until you realize he had his foot on a man’s hand.

the hand that was reaching for your ankle, you swallow and look up at seonghwa. “..we’re good, right?”

he looks down and your eyes immediately lock, staring into them directly for the first time and not only did it bring a sudden burst of butterflies in your stomach but made your heart stop for a quick second.

but that only lasts for a moment before he pulls away abruptly, “yes ma’am.” you nod slowly, eyes finding the ground.

you tip toe your way across the groaning bodies to grab into the broken pieces of your heels, and then turning around to see seonghwa waiting for you by the side.

you take a quick look at your surroundings before walking towards him, the cold cement road under your bare feet making you shiver. once you’re in front of him, he nods and quietly gestures you to follow him.

and you do, hugging your jacket around you tighter. you walk behind him, eyes on his taller and built frame. one hand holding the white bag, where you could spot redness on his knuckles while the other was tucked in his pocket.

“..i’m so sorry i got you involved into this,” you begin as your eyes catch a glimpse of the bruises on his knuckles.

“i thought you were asleep, ma’am.”

you sigh, closing your eyes before nodding. “i-i had to go to this party..” you mumble, “so i snuck out.”

“from the front gates?” he asks, tone normal and not accusatory of any sorts. “and past the dogs?”

you shake your head, “from the window actually…and past the dogs.”

he nods, impressed before his eyes find themselves staring at the ground. instinctively glancing at your feet and then it occurs to him, “you’re hurt, ma’am.” he whispers, eyeing the slight redness at your ankle and the cuts and dirt you’ve got wrapped around them.

you stare at your feet as you keep walking, “they don’t hurt actually,” you smile. “feels nice to walk bare feet on the cold ground.”

“we should sit down,” he urges, a slight panic in his tone. “you’re limping ma’am.”

you turn to look at him, eyes falling over the hair that hovers over his forehead. “stop calling me that.” you say, lowly as you keep your eyes fixated on him. “y/n, call me that at least when we’re alone.”

he says nothing but presses his lips in a line before looking ahead and pointing straight, “there’s a bench right there, we should at least get you seated.”

you sigh before nodding, quickly checking your phone for time and the messages from kai before putting it back into your pocket and following him.

you sit at a normal distance away from him, or more like he did. once you’re sat, your surroundings are a quiet bliss, the cold night wind and the makeshift roof of leaves above your head, it felt calming.

the night was one full of stars, you look down at your feet. watching the shadows being created by the streetlight that shines on you but especially on seonghwa. when you turn your face to look at him, half of his face is illuminated by the light while the other casts a darker shadow.

as the silence begins to heavy in, you decide to break it with a request you hope he agrees too. “please don’t tell my dad about this seonghwa,” your bite down on your lower lip. “he won’t let me out again.”

“why would he do that ma’am?” he responds, and you swallow. “i believe he should know, and it is my duty to document everything to him so-“

“can you stop with the unnecessary fancy words!” you cry out and turn to him. “you are not going to tell my father about any of this.”

“but m-“

you raise an eyebrow, “you’re not.”

“but why not?” he frowns, fiddling with the bag in his hand.

“because…” you start, eyes looking left and right. “because…you’re my friend, yeah!”

he gives you a quick stare, “but, ma’am i’m not all-“

you cut him off by scooting closer and placing an arm on his shoulder, with a eyebrow raise. “you are now my best friend.” you nod, “and as childish as this sounds, best friends don’t tell each other’s secrets to anyone right?”

he pauses to blink twice before nodding slowly and you smile, “good!” you pat his shoulder.

“so, we should consider this a deal-“ you bring your hand out for him to shake and he looks at you then at your hand accessorized in rings. “-right?”

he sighs audibly and you grin, knowing he’s given up. “thank you so much seonghwa!” with a quick assuring pat and a smile you pull back into silence that is until he speaks.

“y..you don’t have that party to go to?” he mumbles, eyes on the bag he held between his legs. you, pull your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them.

“it’s a little too late now,” you know your phone’s being ambushed by messages form kai mainly him begging, but you rather— can’t help but like this a little more.

he says nothing again and instead fiddles through his bag; your eyes follow his movements until they pause on what you think is ice cream.

he looks over at you and you lock eyes, “you must be hungry,” you tilt your head just a little for your hair to move with it. “..ice cream?”

he holds out a squished pack of ice cream which makes you raise an eyebrow, “it’s a little…deformed?” he squeaks, and you hide a smile before reaching out to take it from his hands.

“thank you seonghwa.” you mumble, and he smiles a little, then gives a small nod and it’s when you notice his hair falling over his eyes.

“your welcome, ma-“

“y/n.”

he looks at you and you mirror him, in fact, you change your position to face him. legs in a criss cross with your jacket being a makeshift blanket on them so that you don’t flash anything, anytime soon.

“my names y/n,” you repeat, taking the wrapper off the ice cream. “i’ve told this multiple times, and i’ll say it again. call me y/n when we’re both alone.”

he nods, “okay…” he hesitates, staring at you as if you were going to speak. but when you don’t, he finally says it even if it feels as if he’s struggling and you don’t know why. “y/n.”

you break out into a smile, “now that we are on first name basis,” you extend your hand out, as if pointing between him and you. “we should get to know each other better, right? for better…uhh-“

“relationship?”

you snap your fingers, “yes that! i’ll go first,”

he smiles, “of course.”

“hi, i’m y/n.” you begin, voice a tone lower to match the quietness. “and i’m currently in a uni? i go out at night because my father doesn’t let me in the day,” he snorts, and you smile. “i’m also! not as snobby as you think.”

“i’ve never thought of you as snobby ma’am,” he says, licking at the ice cream before continuing. “just…picky?”

you grin, “that i am or maybe i just have fine taste?” a round of chuckle leaves you two. “what about you, tell me about you seonghwa.”

“what do you want to know?”

“well, i just know the professional you-“ you pause to lick the ice cream, “the macho, mr smith style assassin! but what’s under all of that?” you wiggle your eyebrows. “a different story?”

he looks down with a smile as you watch him with a curious gaze, “i’m just a simple man doing a simple job.”

you raise an eyebrow, “simple job?” he nods, and you narrow your eyes. “i’ve never heard a simple man having a job at a mafia house?”

he bites down on his lower lip before shaking his head, “how’d you end up working for my father?” you ask, and he looks at the ice cream.

“your father actually met me when i was at my worst,” he begins, and you tilt your head.

“what?”

he lifts his head up to look right at you, “i escaped italy once…illegally, your father helped me out with it entirely.” you notice the way he smiles at that. “he became someone who gave me a shelter and in return i worked for him.”

“sounds heroic.” you whisper, an impressed smile on your face that it makes him laugh a little. “you escaped, why?”

you hear him inhale audibly and it makes you swallow before looking up at the sky, “you don’t have to tell me, that’s fine, somethings should be ke-“

“someone was out to kill me.”

your eyes widen, “what?!” your jaw hangs, processing everything that he’s saying. “h-how did you get away? i’ve heard once italian’s mark something to kill, they will.”

you scoot closer, “..how did you escape them?”

he looks at your wide curious eyes and before even thinking it through, he says it all. “i killed him.”

he watches your jaw drop at that and for a moment he thinks he’s fucked up, which rightfully so, but when you say something, it makes his eyes widen in surprise. “you killed,” you lean closer to whisper, “an italian mafia guy?”

you then bring your hands up to clap slowly with an impressed face, “how haven’t you gotten a movie made on you? that’s crazy, they should title it ‘mission impossible: italy chronicles!’ you’d give tom cruise a run for his money!”

“are you not surprised?” he asks, slightly confused at your enthusiasm over starring him in a movie and not the fact that he killed someone.

“hm?” you pause and then smile a little.

“are you not surprised or scared that i told you i just killed someone?” he repeats, eyeing your rather calm expression.

“seonghwa,” you inhale, shuffling with the jacket before looking at him. “i’ve grown up in this environment involuntarily…i’m used to the killing’s and everything that happens in a group because i have to be, i-i someday have to run this yeah? even if i don’t want to, i have to get used to it.”

“you don’t seem like you want to do anything with your dad’s job,” he murmurs, and you nod, looking down at the jacket as your hand comes to play with the sleeve. “not interested?”

“nope,” you sigh, “i’ve never associated myself with the type of work my dad does, never learnt how to fight or do anything that ties me to that world.”

you then glance at him, “and i don’t plan to anytime soon, but i know i have to one day whether i like it or not-“ you stand up abruptly and he watches you for a quick second. “maybe one day i’ll stop this mafia, who knows?”

he says nothing but nods, knowing the situation won’t change if he says anything. “thanks for the ice cream though,” you change the topic, holding the ice cream cone as if it were a wine glass.

imitating the great gatsby scene where leonardo holds the glass up with a smirk, “and i hope you keep the promise, best friend.” with a small smile, you gather your belongings before waving him a small bye.

but it’s not even a second later that he stops you, “y/n,” you look back, eyebrow raised slightly. “where are you going at this hour?”

“home.”

“you’re walking?” you nod, “but you’re hurt, i’ll get a tax- shit, taxis don’t work at this hour.” he stands up and you blink.

“i’ll walk you home,”

your hands immediately fly up in the air, “no! no! that’s fine, i can walk, it’s just a small walk back home and you’re probably really tired and hurt so i don-“

“-do you always talk this much?” he cuts you off and you smile sheepishly.

“yes,” you immediately respond, holding your jacket close to your chest. “you don’t?”

“they should keep you in a museum, you know?”

you grin, “they should, people will pay to see me, sounds fun.”

he looks down and lets out a breathy chuckle, “i’ll walk you home, it’s dark o-“

“you’re off job s-“

“ma’am.” you raise your eyebrow slightly, “a bodyguard is never off duty, so please, let me walk you home.”

you glance at him with a small smile, eyes searching his face as if he’d say something else but when he doesn’t, you nod. “okay then mr bodyguard, walk me home safely.”

when he stands up, the two of you begin walking back to your place. you barefoot, his knuckles bleeding, chasing, and fighting down goons all on a friday night. you turn to look at his side profile and feel warmth fill your gut before you look ahead.

your eyes then go to your bare feet before your eyes widen. “what about my jimmy choo’s?” you ask in the quiet street, a chill in the air as streetlights far away shine bright.

“i’m sure you can buy new ones, isn’t that right ma’am?”

“those were vintage..”

“they always have better ones!” he mumbles, giving you a quick glance.

“..they were my mom’s.”

“they what.”

“so,” you begin, eyeing your dark and scary mansions that had a red-light beam at the very top, on a dome-like roof.  “how do we get back inside?”

you hear seonghwa inhale from beside you and you look at him with a raised eyebrow and hunched shoulders, his jacket wrapped around them tightly as you tried to keep yourself warm.

“do you know the safety system in your house?” he asks, eyes raking the mansion before he steps closer to quietly open the iron gates.

your eyes follow him, “…i think so?” you respond in a mumble. “dads never mentioned it to me explicitly but like i know what he’s up to like, half the time.”

“great,” he turns around, leaning on the gates. “you’re going to help us get in.” he nods, like the ones guys at parties do when they see someone from their element.

you raise an eyebrow, shifting your weight on one foot before speaking. “aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”

“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” he retorts and watches you pause.

you blink, then nod. “point.” and walk closer to him, squinting at your own house as if it were a mission to cross. eyes narrowing over the trimmed shrubbery with bright flowers that seemed to have blended with the night, adding onto the chilling appearance of your home.

“so according to my dad,” you put your face up against the iron gates, squishing your cheeks on the rails. “there’s a laser security system when you first enter the house- wait but how do you not know this!”

he shakes his head while still looking ahead, “that’s because i don’t stay here, i know the blueprints but i stay there-“ he points at the right of the mansion, and your eyes follow his finger. “at the guard quarters, the security system there is mild.”

“why?"

“because we are the security there.”

you nod with an impressed pout, “huh, no wonder i had never seen you around.”

“i’m your dad’s personal security, i’m usually in his office.” he whispers, leaning a little closer to you. “not around a lot.”

your eyes then land on the area you’ve never stepped a foot in. “is the bodyguard quarters cool?” it’s like a smaller version of your place, yet you spot more class in it with way its architecture looks despite it being rarely visible.

he tilts his head and chuckles a little, “cool? yes, it is.”

you then look at him with a frown, “why do you talk like this?” he pauses. “you sound like a professor more than a bodyguard, are you in cahoots’ with my prof?”

“no,” he answers quickly and hesitantly raises his hand to poke your forehead, your eyes widen, and you look at him who avoids your eyes immediately. “t-the security system, we need to get in before it’s too late.”

you hide a smile and nod before beginning to explain, “when we first enter, there’s a red laser security. once we pass that and go up the stairs, the hallways have small traps all around that can identify the smallest of sounds-“

“-and intruders.” he mumbles before tapping the front gates, “and have you been trained for this?”

“me?” you point at yourself, “absolutely not.”

you hear him sigh audibly, “what will you do when you have to learn all of this? to fight to plan and to be competent enough to take your father’s place?”

“i’ve got you here, so that should be fine.” you hum, and he blinks twice. “right? now let’s go in!”

you open the gates first, cautiously while he follows suit. it’s quiet, eerily quiet. you think everyone’s fallen asleep, so you turn to ask seonghwa what time it was, “it’s two.”

you nod and walk towards the front entrance; body bent a little to keep out of anyone’s hide and to hide in the shadows. while seonghwa follows without doing the unnecessary things you’re doing.

once you’re in front of the gates, you stop and fish into your jacket pocket in an attempt to find your spare keys. “we could just climb your window..”

“there’s no ladder there!” you whisper loudly, immediately clamping a hand on your mouth before quietly inserting the key in the lock and testing it slowly. “also, it’s more fun this way.”

once you hear the quiet and short and satisfying noise of the tall door unlocking, you look over your shoulder and gesture for seonghwa to follow you inside.

“my job was to walk you home ma’am,” he whispers, “i don’t think i should go in-“

but before he even finishes the sentence, you take a hole of his wrists and pull him in locking the door behind you immediately.

“i don’t think this is a good idea ma’am…” you hear him whisper and you look over your shoulder, scanning the foyer.

“why are you so scared? it’s not like my dad will kill you, geez,” you sigh, looking around the big plants that scare you because they look eerily similar to people in your house.

“if he recognizes m-“

your tongue hits the roof of your mouth at that, “he can’t even differentiate between me and my brother in the mornings, so don’t worry-“

before you even get the chance to finish your phrase, there’s a loud knock coming from the stairs right above the chandelier. the sound alone makes you and seonghwa panic and run to hide behind the large plant your mom begged to have.

“you know,” seonghwa inhales, swallowing as he looks around. “your dad can actually kill me.”

you click your tongue, again. “you’re scared for nothing.” and walk ahead but he stays, shaking his head because he knows what the circumstances can be.

when you look back to see him standing there looking at the ground, you sigh and walk back towards him. holding your hand out to him which makes him look at you, you nod towards your hand. “hold it.”

“w-why?” he asks, throat drying as he looks around the place.

you frown, “do you want my dad to find out?” he shakes his head. “so then, hold my hand and i’ll make sure no one finds out.”

you shake your hand at him with a grin that has him narrowing his eyes, but he knows he’s got no other option. because the only person who can save him from your father is you, and if that means you’ll take him under the wing for one day. he doesn’t mind.

so, with that, he hesitantly holds your hand, swallowing as you grip on it tightly before yanking him away.

he follows you down the hallway, holding your hand tighter with every step as his heartbeat begins to skip beats. eyes wandering the quiet rooms that otherwise are bright and loud, now terrify him with each step.  

“ma’am, where’s the laser security?” he asks, and you pause right after, swallowing and pointing ahead.

“there,” you mumble, biting your lower lip as you take in the bright red lasers, bright neon red lines parallel to each other. “if we pass this, we’re good to go.”

he nods and then looks at you, “do you know how to do this?”

you grin, “of course,” as fast as you left his hand, he holds onto it faster. stopping you from going forward immediately.

“what’re you doing?!” he whispers, and you point at the lasers.

“passing the lasers? like how they do in the movies?” you say, tone matter-of-factly and he raises his eyebrow.

he pulls you back to him, your side hitting his towering front by surprise. “this isn’t the movies y/n.” you straighten up at the use of your name. “we can get killed, maybe not you, but i can.”

you look at him, “i don’t pay you enough to get killed.”

he smirks, “your father does.” before you retaliate, he puts a finger up to his lips, shushing you before holding your hand and walking on the other side. “follow me.”

he walks you around the stairs, completely away from the lasers— okay maybe not completely because you two did have to duck down quite a few times. but once that was left behind, you were surprised at his tactics.

impressed at his calm demeanor you follow right behind him, mouth shut and eyes on his back. your eyes then land on the hand he’s holding and smile.

“hey seo-“

in a matter of seconds, you’re pushed to the cold wall behind, you know it’s the wall with the way you hear frames rattle a bit. seonghwa’s larger hand covering your mouth as he leaned in, covering you fully and engulfing you in his warm scent while staring into your wide eyes with his sharper ones.

“don’t talk.” he says lowly, noticing the way your eyes blink. “got it?”

you nod repeatedly, eyes searching his face up close. from the bridge of his nose to his fuller lips and then back to his sharp eyes that look to your right. studying the shape of his eye and the long lashes that touch the area of cheek right under his eye, it makes you swallow just at the sight of him.

you don��t make a noise when he makes you move without ever physically holding you, though it’s difficult and makes you confused you follow him either way. the small tapping of your feet and his shoes make the faintest noise, which makes him afraid that you’ll get caught.

“can you walk a little less loudly?” he whispers in your ear and you, first, take one second to feel the shiver run down your spine and two, feel your heart skip a beat.

you then frown, bringing his hand down from your mouth and wrapping it around your waist. he immediately pulls back with wide eyes, “what’re you doing?” he whispers, and you take his other hand and put it around your waist.

“you want me to walk quietly, the only way i can do that if i walk on my tippy toes-“

“what does that gotta do with holding you!-“

“sssh!” you whisper and look everywhere before continuing, “if we match our rhythm, less sound and we won’t get caught.”

“that’s…”

you grin, “genius, i know-“

“-so stupid.”

you face drops, “eyy, come on, you spoilsport!” you whisper. “you just have to hold me, it’s not like that’s a crime!”

he leans in to be face-to-face with you, “in this house, it is.” and raises his eyebrow as you stare him down, long enough for him to sigh and you smile.

“come on, mr park!” you mumble and lean forward. “i’m not even that bad.”

you say before extending both your hands out to him, he pauses and sighs. thinking about all the shit he can get for doing this before throwing his head back, defeatedly placing his hand on yours which you quickly move to your waist.

“hold on tight,” you whisper before looking towards the hallway, “make a noise and we’re done for the night.”

“we’re gonna get caught,” he whispers halfway through, hands neatly wrapped around your waist as you two matched steps as if doing a partner dance at your father’s extravagant gala’s he likes to hold.

“you’re just scared.”

“no,” he immediately refutes, looking you into the eye. “i’m scared i’ll be fired or even worse, killed.”

or even worser, disappoint your father.

you shake your head, then raise your hand to his chest and pat it twice. “then i’ll save you.” as if that’ll make a difference he thinks.

he shakes his head, knowing exactly who will save who and who will get who in trouble. it’s not that he’s scared of dying, he’s scared of disappointing your father’s faith in him. the man who gave him everything he couldn’t ever get; he can’t jeopardize his trust.

but when he looks down at you, your eyebrows scrunched up as your eyes narrow and look ahead. he can’t help but think that if he protects you, he won’t disappoint your father. if he fulfils your every demand, he won’t be jeopardizing anything.

it’s what he hopes in the end.  

he walks with you in silence, ears perking up at the slightest of a crack or squeak that makes him grip your dress tighter as if ready to push you behind him to take cover. but instead, none of that happens, the two of your make your way towards your room in peace.

the silence over you two was deafening and you did nothing to break it, that is until you’re in your room. back to your door and eyes on seonghwa, “so.” you whisper, watching his hesitation.

he nods slowly, “so..” he pauses. “i think i should go-“

“-at this time?” you cut him off, locking the door behind before walking to him and he instinctively backs up. “isn’t this more fun? just you and me alone in the room?”

you watch the way his eyes widen, and you bite back a smile, “m-ma’-“

“god, i was just joking.” you laughed, eyeing his surprised face and eyes that blinked repeatedly. “sit down,” you point at the couch behind him. “i’ll go get the first aid box.”

“that’s-“ he says out loud but immediately stops himself, “..that’s not necessary, ma’am.”

you ignore him and walk away towards your bathroom, leaving him standing alone in the middle of your room. he hesitates to move but does it anyway, eyes looking around the room and he realizes it’s the first time he’s stepped in the room of anyone he works for. 

he didn’t expect it to be so soon or even at all, but he smiles a little and shakes his head. eyes searching the room and he notices the amount of colour patterned clothes you have hanging around; he expected your room to be big and uninviting but it’s the exact opposite. 

warm, a little big and cozy. he smiles to himself as he begins to walk to the bookshelf just behind him, looking at the photo frames where you and your family were present. he lifts a hand to run his fingers on the shelf gently while looking at your childhood photos.

from where he sees his boss, your dad in one of the frames. holding a younger you, who was dressed in a pink tutu. he smiles again, only ever seeing his boss with a stoic face that rarely cracks a grin legitimately smile. he then looks at you, eyes shut as you grinned from ear to ear holding a little trophy.

he then looks at the frame behind it, where you stood alone. older now, maybe in your teens. he remembers this one, the dress specifically.

it was when he had joined newly, he was told you were his only daughter, and he couldn’t help but peek outside to see you— not like a creep but because everyone was looking their boss getting scolded by you.

it was a rare sight to see, but it’s one he remembers the most.

just when he’s about to look ahead, you come walking in. startling him in the way, he scrambles to his feet and looks at you as if he got caught stealing something.

you blink, “you can sit down!” you usher him over to the couch. eyes following him hurrying to take a seat before you join and sit in front of him on the table.

once he’s sat, you raise your eyebrows and extend both your hands. “hands.” you mumble in the emptiness of your room where only a lamp was lit in the far corner.

he looks at you and blinks twice, “ma’-“

“-y/n.”

“y-y/n,” he begins and you’re already reaching for his hands. “it’s fine you don’t have to do this-“

“-and why not?” you cut him off, scowling and he hesitantly pulls his hand back. but before that even happens, you pull his hands back into your lap. “you’re bleeding at your knuckles!”

he looks down at his hands, eyeing the dried blood on his hand and the way your hold on him is so gentle. the first he’s ever experience.

“i’m used to it.”

“well not on my watch,” and you begin to nurse his wound, whispering to yourself about how much blood’s been dripping and how he’s not worried about his wound. “as long as you’re my bodyguard, i don’t give you the permission to get hurt.”

he says nothing and you continue to nurse him until you realize the man doesn’t even make a noise, a squeak, or a hiss in pain. you look up with wide eyes, “is your hand numb?!”

“no?” he answers, looking at his hand and then at you.

“then why..” you scoot closer, “how are you not making a noise in pain?”

“i told you, i’m used to it.” he replies, and you narrow your eyes. he then leans forward to match your stance, narrowing his eyes he continues. “i’ve gotten worse injuries, this is nothing.”

“yeah? enlighten me.”

his features change with the way he smirks, “broke my ribs, both arms, one leg.” he pauses to recall, catching your expression while doing so. “number of concussions and bull-“

“okay okay!” you give up and he smiles a little. “i don’t care how bad you were injured,” you poke his hand, “an injury is an injury. and you’re hurting i just know-“

“-no i’m not.” he says, eyes still on you.

you smile, a little strained. “yeah?” you begin to wrap the bandage around his hand. “yes, you are.”

“no, i’m not.”

you wrap it tighter, “yes.”

“no.” he stares right back.

“yes.” you wrap it again, watching his lip twitch.

but he acts as if nothing hurts, “i’m still good,” he then points at his hand. “you can wrap it tighter.”

“gosh,” you whisper, knotting the bandage before giving him his hand back and falls back  on the couch with a smirk.

but he’s quick to regain his posture, hands going down to grab your ankle and place it on his knee. “h-hey!” you yell but he immediately puts a hand to your mouth.

“you’re going to wake them up,” he whispers, and you nod slowly, then look at him holding your ankle. “guess who’s also injured.”

“unlike me,” he brings his hand down and hooks his finger on the box before dragging it closer to him. “you’re not used to this.”

he hums, “correct?” and looks at you as he separates the cotton.

“correct.”

he nods, “which also means you’ll be in pain, correct?”

“a lot.”

he raises an eyebrow, “yeah?”

“hm, i have low pain tolerance.” you mumble as he begins to nurse around your ankle, wincing whenever he dabs the cotton too harshly.

“how will you run your dad’s business if your tolerance is low?” he asks, gently brushing his fingers over your ankle.

you smile, “see…that’s not my plan,” and then hiss. “and if i were to one day…you’ll be there, right?”

he smiles stiffly, “of course, it’s my job to be your right-hand man after all.” he then places your leg down gently before holding the other one up.

“then you better be there for everything,” you say, “don’t miss anything, don’t die and absolutely do not get injured.”

“yes ma’am.”

silence then falls over you two, just him carefully holding your ankle while you watch his hands skillfully wrap the bandage, it makes you wonder just how many times he’s done this. occasionally finding yourself staring at his face when he asked a question rather than responding.

it makes you snort internally at how at first you thought seonghwa was never going to talk to you, be civil and extremely formal to now where he’s more comfortable and warming up.

“thank you.”

he lifts his head up slowly, “…for what?”

you point your finger at your feet, “for that and for beating the guys up and uh, sorry for eating your ice cream and! for dragging you in here!”

he smiles a little and you’ve come to like it when he smiles, even if that’s the only thing he’ll do. “your welcome, ma’am.”

“i had a question,” he suddenly asks, and you beam at his request. “go on!”

he then places your leg down gently before pointing behind you, towards the bookshelf. “that photo there,” you turn around to follow his finger. “with your father.”

“ah,” you hum, glancing at the photo and remembering the moment it was taken. “it was my first ballet recital,” your eyes fall on the pink tutu your dad gifted you. “way before this whole mafia thing started, my dad was a small lawyer.”

you turn to him, “you must know.” and he nods. “business was never good where he worked and we could at times, barely afford a dinner. sometimes i think this mafia thing started because he wanted to gift me a pink tutu.”

he snorts, looking at you with a fond stare. “how come?” he asks, “i heard he took a loan and then was fraudulently framed and jailed.”

you nod, “that’s right, he has a grudge against the insiders of the justice system. so, the only better thing he could think of was,” you smile, “to rule it.”

“and now he controls the insiders the way he wants,” seonghwa adds and you nod. “so, it really started because of your tutu?”

“a man can do anything,” you lean forward till your facing him. “to make his daughter happy.”

he tilts his head and raises his eyebrow, “then that same man can kill me, for his daughter.”

you mirror his expression impressively, “and that daughter can stop him.” you bite down on your lip, “hm?”

he smiles, the one where his teeth show and looks down to laugh a little. his hair falling over his eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat, “thank you.”

you turn your head to the side, “for?” you mumble. “putting you in danger?”

“for fixing my wounds and saving me from your dad, but.”

“but?” you raise your eyebrow and then to glance at him softly.

“but next time there’s a party,” he fiddles with the bandage before looking up. “ask me to join so this won’t happen again.”

“you got it.”

“do you like those seonghwa?”  

you ask, pointing your finger at a wallet he’s been eyeing ever since he stepped into the store with you.

ever since the night he walked you home, the two of you have been looking eerily suspicious according to your father who narrowed his eyes the second you two walk in any room.

the eyes of your parents would watch your every move whenever seonghwa was in the room, and you let them. casually chatting with seonghwa in front of them even if he doesn’t respond, though you know he answers through his eyes.

or the fact that he follows you to your uni every day, waits outside or sits by you (always offers to keep his jacket on your seat so you don’t have to sit on anything dirty), opens the car doors for you, offers you his arm for walking purposes, stands with his back to you when you’re getting out of the car and even shares a word with kyle over pens. 

which you know kyle likes involuntarily. sometimes he excuses himself and walks out halfway in class, which turns out he does to get the best table at the cafeteria.

where you two sit down and talk, well mostly just you. he listens to you blabber without interfering or objecting, pushing sandwiches your way whenever he thinks you need one more.

to when you were struggling to catch up to your teacher’s pace, hands focusing on notes while your eyes settled on the screen. but it felt as if you couldn’t understand anything and when panic arose in you, you hesitantly looked around for someone to give you notes.

raising your hand anxious but when no avail, you looked at seonghwa who already seemed to have raised his hand.

“seo-“

“professor,” his deep voice rang the classroom of four hundred people. “could you please repeat the section you just went over?”

your wide eyes staring at him as your heartbeat began to speed up, he who didn’t even spare you glance but instead looked down at his lap as if listening to the lecture. “oh, sure!”

or when he almost slapped a classmate of yours for taunting you and you had it physically pull seonghwa away from him.

or when you were getting ready for an event your father had forced you to where seonghwa would not look at you in the eye no matter what, except stand right beside you whenever you talked to anyone.

even if it meant staying through the boring small talks or forced arrange marriage offers thrown your way which, then, seonghwa would interfere in by standing in-front of you.

“unfortunately, we won’t accept any offers of arrange marriages for miss y/n.”  

and if they were to put a hand on you, or even do the mere action of reaching it seonghwa would already tower over them and firmly tell them to back off.

“put your hands on her even once, we’ll have consequences to face.” and tap the others cheek, a little harshly.

all while you watched from behind his shoulder, making remarks to fire seonghwa up whenever he’d reject any offers (that your father told him to), “yeah! what he said!”  

so now when you two sneakily snuck out right after your class to a mall, he’s been nothing but extremely protective of you. always walking behind you, hands coming to shield you if anyone’s about to remotely bump into you or have his hand on his holster at any given moment.

he turns around, “no ma’am, we’re here for you.” and you look around, eyeing the signature hermès pattern everywhere in the store.

colorful clothes adorning opposite walls and a large glass table with a display of wallets and watches and bracelets. salespeople standing with their hands in front of them with pleasant smiles on their faces, though you know most are directed towards seonghwa which makes you snort.

“you can buy anything you want seonghwa,” and before he opens his mouth, you raise your hand. “i’m paying.”

he shakes his head immediately and frantically, looking around the expensive store before inhaling. “that’s alright ma’am,” he taps his watch, “we should get going before it’s too late.”  

with that he walks away, leaving you standing with a grin. you look around the chic store, making eye contact with a salesperson before tapping on the wallet and nodding. you repeat the action every time you spot him staring at an item for too long.

once you’re done, he carries your bags in both his hands. sunglasses on and walking back to your car while you stare at his back with a smirk before walking towards him.

he opens the car door for you, you walk closer until you’re right in front of him. “thank you seonghwa.” he smiles before slowly getting back in the car and driving off.

“y/n,”

the blanket of silence that falls over the entire living room at the sound of your father’s voice sends a chill down your spine, making you shift in your seat entirely.

“yes, dad.”

you look up, eyes falling on the addressed man raising his eyebrow as his one leg is on top of the other. dressed in the finest of expensive fabrics, a well-trimmed beard and two stripes of grey in his hair that he calls a ‘fashion statement’ after watching the housewives of beverly hills.

you’ve come to take him as a joke, but when he uses that tone, you know it’s not your father speaking but in fact the man who runs a whole intel of rings.

“where were you last week, friday,” you chew on your inner lip, eyes on your lap eyeing the neat manicure before answering. “at night specifically.”

“i-in my room dad,” there’s a tremble in your voice that he catches on quickly, he looks up and turns his head to the side. staring at seonghwa who looked straight, never making eye contact with anyone.

“seonghwa,”

the man stiffens upon his name, standing tall before bending at his waist. “yes, sir.”

“where was y/n?” he asks the same question and you turn to look at seonghwa, praying internally that he doesn’t spill the beans because you’d be in a lot of trouble.

“i’-“

“dad!” you quickly cut seonghwa off, “how would seonghwa know, he wasn’t even here on that day! i gave him an earl-“

the hand your father lifts is enough to tell you that he isn’t buying your bullshit, he’s never, even if you’ve tried to make him. he then points at your feet, and you can’t help the way your eyes widen, “why are there cuts on your feet?”

you quickly scramble to give a response, “i was with kai at the sch-“

“y/n.”

you sigh, defeated and lazily staring at your father. “seonghwa, narrate what happened during that day.”

you don’t give seonghwa a look or stare but know that he’ll tell the truth, under the eyes of your father the truth will always come out. it felt as if it were court, and everyone was giving testimonies to send you to jail.

“ma’am was getting late night snacks down the street,” you freeze at his answer, the slight wavering of his tone that you know your dad didn’t catch, but you did. “when a group of wannabes chased her until she ran into me, i quickly fought them away with the help of ma’am and we made it out safely.”

“safely?” you father repeats, eyeing the faint marks around your feet and looks at seonghwa with a glare that’s only ever terrified you. especially on report card days. “i told you, y/n shouldn’t be hur-“

“but he hurt himself too!” you butt in, eyes wide and hands in the air. “he was just trying to protect me, we— he came up with a plan on spot and if it weren’t for him, dad i’d be more injured!”

“this is about you y/n!” you dad yells, eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. “you are my heir not seonghwa, you are supposed to be protected twenty-four seven!”

“there’s already conflicts building in neighboring groups, and i don’t want you to get hurt.”

he then stands up and you follow, immediately getting on your feet and staring in the eyes of your father while also sharing glances with seonghwa who stood with an emotionless face.

“if this happens again,” he takes a step forward and you swallow. “i won’t be as nice as i am.”

you nod shakily, “i-it won’t happen again!”

“seonghwa.”

“yes, sir.”

“find out who those wannabes were,” he nods, “and prepare a lesson of defense for y/n, use the back grounds.”

seonghwa immediately bows, “i’ll prepare one right away.”

“and you,” you straighten up, eyes blinking repeatedly at your dad who shakes his head. “i don’t want a single scar on you, we’ll host a gala soon. do not cause trouble, understood?”

you look down and nod, “yes, dad.”

hearing the footsteps fade away, you finally lift your head to look towards seonghwa. who stood with his hands behind his back, eyes straight and in a well fitted tux.

“ma’am.”

“why’d you lie?” you ask, hearing your voice echo the four walls. taking small steps on the carpet you walk closer to him, stopping as the only thing dividing you from him was the couch.

he stays still as if he heard nothing, so you ask him again. “why did you lie, seonghwa?”

he fidgets slightly before looking over his shoulder and then back at you, “i’m your best friend, isn’t that, right?” hesitance in his stance and tone.

you pause to take in what he said then bream out into a grin that makes your eyes curl into crescents. “i knew!” you gasp, “i could trust you!” you yell but he’s quick to put a finger on his lips to shush you.

jumping in your spot you swiftly lift your leg on the couch, lifting yourself up to wrap your arms around seonghwa’s shoulder and pulling him into an embrace. “you’re the bestest friend seonghwa!”

he stiffens up at the touch, eyes widened slightly and chest pounding.

“if i was your boss,” you pull back, not looking at his expression before announcing loudly while snapping your fingers. “immediate pay raise!”

“you are my boss.”

your hands then land on his shoulder, patting them as you held an expression of dramatic admiration. “i knew i could trust you,” you pat his shoulders before standing straight.

“now…i will be busy for the next two hours and you can-“ you swiftly glance at the clock before looking back at him. “-have a break!”

but before you can move, fidget or maybe even breathe properly seonghwa’s hand comes to grab your wrist, gently but firmly.

“where do you think you’re going?” you stop, looking around the room before staring at your wrist before looking at his unmoving figure.

“me and kai,” you begin, “project.”

he leans his free hand on the couch, leaning in until his face is right in-front of yours. “your project can wait; your father gave you something else to do.”

you squint your eyes, lifting your other hand up to his face. where you extend your forefinger out and poke it in the middle of his black glasses, pulling them down just a little to reveal his eyes.

“no.”

he smiles, not the nice kind. “or do you want me to call your father?”

you shake your head, narrowing your eyes even more as you suck in a breath. “you wouldn’t.”

he smirks, “oh i would, and i don’t think he’d like that very much, would he?” his smirk expands more, knowing he hit a mark he pushes his glasses back on before leaning back to his straighter stance.

letting go of your hand, he uses the same hand he held you by to point towards your right. “now,” he says, a muse to his tone. “off we go to your first lesson.”

“seonghwa,” you sing.

“seong! hwa!”

“hwa!”

“seong-seo-“

“if you think this will distract me from letting you go,” seonghwa turns around, eyeing your frowning face. “then you’re absolutely wrong.”

“we’re going to the quarters and you’re doing the training,” he bends at his waist and tilts his head, eyeing you as if expecting a yes.

“fine.” you grumble out, making a distasteful expression before following him inside the bodyguard quarters he mentioned the other day. stomping behind him purposely so he’d hear but he turns a blind eye to it.

in fact, he pays no attention to your whining about not wanting to train while putting out some bogus explanations which he does not buy one bit until you’re both inside the quarters.

which to your surprise look nothing like what you had imagined, you thought it’d perhaps be dark and cold and dull but it’s quite…the same as your place. straight out of a magazine quite literally, your eyes fall over the lobby where couches were planted as if they were delivered just yesterday.

“do you guys even use the couches?” you ask, seeing how there’s not a bump or a trace of a body sitting on the couch. “or..anything here at all?”

he looks over his shoulder before shrugging, “we only use it if the police ever come,“ you hum. “otherwise, this is just a set. wait till you see the backside, that’s the one we really use.”

you nod, mindlessly following behind him while your eyes wander over each corner. as you walk in further with him, the hallway gets darker and darker. from the bourgeoise 90’s lobby to an almost underground ring type area.

you would’ve mistaken it as a professional underground ring, with the boxing rings to your left and equipment with a suspicious number of doors to your right it feels like a movie set.

you had never been exposed to this side of your dad’s business though you knew everything about it, seeing it in person makes a chill run down your body. feeling unsettled at hearing live echoes and yells coming from the boxing rings.

which is why you stick close to seonghwa, looking over his shoulder as you walked. “is this place, okay?”

he nods without looking at you and you glance over at other guards bowing at you, you smiled awkwardly and waved your hands asking them to stop non-verbally.

“you can’t tell them they don’t have to bow,” you whisper to seonghwa, and he chuckles quietly.

“you’re the boss daughter, our heir.” he suddenly stops to look back and you stare right back at him. “we bow to you because we respect you.”

“but like,” you look around and huddle closer. “what if i don’t want it?”

he raises his eyebrows at that, staring at you with narrowed eyes. “respect? you don’t want the respect?”

you click your tongue, “no!” and then point at everyone who still are bowing. “like bowing, makes me feel older heh,” you grin, and he scoffs.

without saying anything further, he steps to the right before opening a door. standing back before asking you to go in but you stop. “aren’t you the bodyguard? you go firs-“

he cuts you off by walking in and you follow right behind and closing the door, “don’t look at anyone, don’t talk to anyone. keep following me.”

“why not?” you question, a sheepish smile on your face because you know it annoyed him.

“because you’ll get distracted.” he turns around and you’re already a few steps behind him, eyeing the poster pinned to the wall with your hands behind your back and bending at your waist.

“ma’am.” he calls out with a sigh, and you turn your head to him, “ma’am, we’l-“

“ma’am who?!”

“fuck,” seonghwa whispers at the way your eyes widen at the new voice that yelled.

“who was that?”

“no one, let’s get into the room qui-“

“not so fast!” seonghwa sees your eyes move from him to behind him and he instantly regrets it. cursing under his breath he turns around to see a group he specifically wanted you to ignore.

“oh. my. god, seonghwa!” you walk closer towards him but it’s almost like he knew you were, he held his hand up behind him to stop you.

“why are you at work this early?” you frown, taking small steps towards him.

“boss called me in,” you hear him say, “now leave the room, i’ve got some work to-“

but before he can finish his sentence, he’s shoved off to the side revealing three men standing with their eyes widened.

“oh.”

you blink and they blink, on sync.

you take a step forward; they take one back.

“hi,” your voice dropping to a whisper, raising your hand, and doing a little wave while seonghwa gets his balance back only to be shoved back.

“you’re the boss’s daughter!?”

you nod, shakily and in a split second the three men are bowing at you. you chuckle awkwardly before looking at seonghwa who rubs his forehead and sighs.

“oh my god,” the light-purple haired man begins to walk to you but not before seonghwa holds him back by the collars. “h-hey!”

“i told you wooyoung, don’t.”

“why not!” you beamed, “hi wooyoung, i’m y/n its very nice to meet yo-“

“she said my name,” and wooyoung collapses onto the rest two.

“h-hi, i’m yeosang,” the blond man pointed at himself, and you smiled, and then he points at the one with cerulean haired man. “and he’s hongjoong.”

hongjoong who’s eyes widen at the introduction immediately holds wooyoung up, “we are very grateful to serve you.” and bow in a sync, at the perfect height.

you look at seonghwa who raises his eyebrow at you and then at the trio, “it’s nice to meet you too and please-“

“she said please,”

“wooyoung.” seonghwa hissed, voice low and demanding and it made you swallow.

“sorry, sorry!”

“hi y/n?” wooyoung steps forward extending his hand out for you to take. “can we call you that?”

you take his hand and shake it, “of course you can!”

“she shook my hand, oh my gosh.”

“that’s it.” seonghwa swoops in to pull wooyoung back and motioning for you to join him inside, never putting a hand on you.  

the trio stood in a line as you walked past them with a grin, they all returned, especially wooyoung who you seem to fancy.

once the door’s closed behind you, you’re welcomed to a semi-broken-down core of a practice area. boxing equipment laying around with faded colours of red and blue gloves as well as dumbbells that were a funky neon green.

“your friends are nice.”

“don’t like them too much.” he mutters, and you look back at the door, “don’t befriend them either.”

“why-“

he looks back and you stop midway, “training?”

you blink and nod, not pressing anything further seeing his expression. “yeah.”

“hit once on the side.”

“like that?”

“no.”

you sigh, letting your shoulders slump and you turn to look at him. you’ve been doing this for an hour and a half straight, you’re sure its lunch time but you don’t dare remind him. especially when he’s got that frown stuck on his face since the very beginning.

tux off and only in a white shirt whose sleeves are rolled to his elbows, he’s been constantly demanding you to punch or kick a certain way. even if it’s correct, he asks you to do it his way because-

“it’s my way or the highway here.”

and you’d use the dad card on him.

“wait till dad finds out about this.”

to which he smugly replies to, “hm, he won’t come to save you.”

which true, and you hated how aggravating it was.

you had to do this class repeatedly as your dad warned you off the dangers, that were currently ongoing the world you lived in, where you were an easy target.

“do five more sets and we’ll call it a break.” your eyes must be glimmering for seonghwa to take note off and shake his head, coming to walk behind the long red coloured punching bag.

gripping his slim fingers around it he looks at you and then nods, “five more.” and if it weren’t for your brain to be completely blinded by the idea of not doing this anymore, you would’ve noticed the way seonghwa looked at you.

or more how you looked at seonghwa, with that white shirt rolled to his elbows, how could you not ogle him up and down? not only does it make you smirk in between the lessons but also makes you want to slow time down even more than it already was.  

when he taps the bag, you snap back to reality and nod, bringing your gloved clad hands up to your chest. standing in the way he’s taught you (for ten minutes) before throwing a punch at the bag, which makes it jiggle back.

“again,” seonghwa sighs, the disappointed look on his face making you clench your fists tighter. “hit it right where my hand is.”

and you do, hit it where he told you but he’s just not happy. with the way his face remains the same, where his eyebrows are scrunched together with a tick in his jaw.

even if you wanted to say something, you stopped yourself before throwing a punch again. but this time his lips leave a small ‘tch’ sound that makes you grow irritated.

“what is it?” you finally ask, hands on your waist and weight on your one foot. “is it the way i’m not hitting to your satisfaction?”

“exactly that.” he responds, walking around the bag before coming to stand in front of you. hands crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face, “i want you to copy what i’m asking you to.”

“but i am doing what you asked me to!”

he sighs, running a hand through his black hair while you stood with an eyebrow raised. he glanced at you and then shakes his head slightly, “watch how i do it and then repeat, okay?”

before he turns around, looking at you to make sure you’re watching before standing in his position. fists to his chest, eyes narrowed and be throws a punch that’s so loud that the hit echoes the entire room twice.

you stare at him blankly, hands by your aide and eyes blinking repeatedly as he hits the bag one more time and your jaw drops. a slow motion of him punching the bag replays in front of your eyes repeatedly until he snaps his finger at you and asks you to stand properly.

but again, you don’t even stand properly to his level that he comes to stand behind you. you feel his towering front to your back, with the warmth and the slight smell of perfume and the mix of sweat.  

his breath now fanning down your neck and you swallow, “now what?” you say, voice turning into a whisper automatically as your heartbeat begins to ring in your ear.

he raises his hands to your waist, hovering his hands beside it and never not touching it. that’s before he inhales sharply and quietly asks, “can i hold onto you?” his low tone making you shiver.

you swallow before nodding and then you feel his larger hands come to settle on the either side of you. you inhale sharply as he holds your hips gently and moves you into the correct position then when you thought it was over, his hands lift to hold into your forearms.

“i’ll guide you,” he mumbles before clearing his throat and you nod. “watch and learn.”

he then moves his hand the way he would punch, with every action his chest hits your back and your heartbeat skips beats. he does the same in silence a few more times before stepping back, “try it yourself.”

and you do, swallowing first and then hitting the punching bag with the exact amount of force seonghwa wants. and if it were not for him to stand behind you, you would’ve definitely seen the corner of his lip perking up into a smirk before he finally dismisses you.

with a loud exhale you plop onto the ground with a noise that he smiles at, staring you down while he stands beside you. “i think i liked the heels better for defense, don’t you think?”

he snorts, placing his hands in his pocket before bending at his waist. “if you’re okay with destroying your jimmy cho-“

“never mind.” you glare, a small pout forming on your lips, and you look the other way. body laying like a starfish that he can’t help but find endearing but before he thinks into it more, he excuses himself to walk out.

you lift your head up on your elbow and watch him leave, one eyebrow raised and lips forming into an ‘o’ as if you’d whistle while staring at his brooding back and broad shoulders.

once the door’s closed you find yourself looking at the lord and new posters stuck on each other on the walls, some ripped while others faded with years.

you let out a sigh of relief for the first time since you walked in here, with the tension between you and seonghwa, the lingering hot stares, the subtly touches over the span of months you’ve been with him has you waking up at nights.

at first maybe you thought it was some weird crush you had on him, which got brutally debunked by your friend kai. who you texted and called during the nights, where he’d yell at you for waking him up and then give you the sweetest advice the other second.

“kai, what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“you gotta ask him that yourself,” you’d hear him yawn, “there’s a lot of reasons for him to say no even if he likes you, y’know?”

“like what?”

“your godamn father.”

right.

because you can’t do anything in this house if you don’t have his permission. that’s how it has been growing up, aside from the luxurious provided to you (which you were grateful for), you were never allowed to hang out with anyone at your school or outside.

the only person your dad trusted (borderline not) was kai, other than that, you were sheltered and deprived of the interaction you wanted. to date, to smoke perhaps or do things your once teenager heart wanted.

which now meant, feeling your heartbeat skip or beat way too much when you’re around seonghwa or have butterflies in your stomach when he’d do the slightest of actions to make sure you’re safe.

whether it be him giving you his number so that he’d be able to join you in your next sneak out where he breaks his forefront with you. chugging down soda drinks or heavily spiced noodles to eating flavored ice cones where your tongues would get colored.

so that ‘crush’ isn’t exactly a crush anymore, as much as you hoped it didn’t progress mu-

“y/n?”

you snap out into reality when you hear your name but want to fall back into it when you realize his face is right in front of yours.

“hi,” you whisper and watch his lips twist into a smile.

“hi y/n,” his voice suddenly falls deaf on your ears, “let’s practice again, okay?”

you’re blinking again and again, and he watches with a smile before snapping his fingers in front of your face, “y-yeah, practice, let’s do that.”

“are you okay?” he asks, eyeing your widened eyes with soft eyes. he leans in closer, close enough for his nose to be just, just touch yours. “you’re breathing quite heavily.”

“i’m good!” you stand up suddenly, looking everywhere but him. “we, uh, we should get back to practice!”

which went awfully if it meant you staring at seonghwa half the time and blanking out. every minute you spend with him just confirms kai’s accusations at you about how you liked seonghwa.

and if it weren’t for him to be so damn close to you all the time, maybe you wouldn’t have felt this way. but now, you aren’t even paying attention to what he’s saying. just being aware of him beside you, his hands lifting to point and suddenly your attention goes to that.

the more you followed his hands, the sooner you realize there’s something burning at your elbow. which takes you a second to realize and when you do, you’re hissing in pain loudly.

loud enough for him to immediately hold the punching bag straight, hurriedly reach for your arm gently and asking, “are you alright?” he soft checks your arm as you twist your face into one of intense pain.

“i…can’t move my arm.”

“i told you to pay attention! look at you now, you’re all hurt!”

you don’t register the next few moments, because one second, he's yelling at you about how you’re hurt and not paying attention. the other he’s sat you down, kneeling in front of you while wrapping a bandage around your elbow.

“you have to start being careful y/n.”

you hum, staring at his face that’s full of worry and it makes your insides do summersaults.

“but then who’d do this for me?”

he can’t help but breathe through his nose at that, biting back a smile before he swaps it back to his frowning face. “ow!”

he sighs audibly, staring at your elbow that’s wrapped in white before looking at you in the eye.

“let’s call it a day then hm?” he mumbles, and you nod slowly, he then reaches beside him to pull out a towel that he lifts up to your face and wipes the sweat off.

“hey seonghwa,” you whisper, loud enough for him to hear and hum an answer. “…you need to stop doing this,”

his eyes flicker to you as he continues to pat away at your face, “stop doing what?”

“playing with my heart like that.”

“y/n, no.”

“hwa, yes.”

“no!”

you look at him with a deadpan, raising an eyebrow and folding your arms over your chest.

you, seonghwa and the trio who’s currently yelling really loudly behind you two came to the store, right before the gala. more like you forcing them all to get out and look good for the gala even if they all said no, you knew they wanted to go.

and curse that stupid rule of bodyguards not being family, you were inviting them, nonetheless. a little scolding from your dad wasn’t something you minded, so even after their ‘attempts’ to stop you, you were successful in getting them all out to the store.

and currently, unsuccessful in getting seonghwa to try an outfit.

“yes!” you whisper loudly, shoving a blazer towards seonghwa and pushing him in the changing rooms.

“y/n, i can’t be wearing this!” he argues back, looking left and right in the rather empty changing room hallways. “..and we can’t be seen like this!”

“like what?” you ask with a playful smile before taking a step closer to him, in the slim hallways. “like this?” you raise your hand and place it on his forearm. “or like this?”

he swallows before looking away towards the end, “your dad’s men are here, if they see us like this we’d be in big trouble.”

you look to where he’s looking, narrowing your eyes to look for anyone but there’s not a soul standing there. with a roll of your eyes, “i’m not kidding,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “y/n!”

“fine then, my dad’s men are here, right?” you move to the side and open the changing room doors, “then let’s give them a show.”

panic immediately rushes to his face as you push him inside the changing rooms, to the point his back is up against the mirror. “m-ma’am we can be fo-“

“-you talk so much, don’t you?” you say, eyebrows knitting together. “now wear this and come out,” before he opens his mouth you continue again. “this is an order.”

you lean your face closer to his, close enough that you can smell his perfume and it makes your stomach churn. his eyes now wide and staring at you, blinking repeatedly while you search his face.

taking your time to marvel at his face, a small smirk appears on your lips that he finds himself looking at. your glittered lips, courtesy to that lip-gloss he asked to carry in his pocket looking at him with a pout.

“y-y/n.”

your eyes flicker to his, a hint of tease in your eyes you raise your brow slightly. and without a single thought behind your eyes or your mind, you end up blurting something that shows instant regret on your face.

“are you married?”

“what?” his face drops and you curse under your breath.

“no like,” you bite down on your lips, “i just…can’t be seen romancing a taken man, you know, my reputation and all?” you blink.

he laughs, a loud laugh that has you stopping in your tracks to look at him. his head falls on you, forehead leaning on your shoulder as his shoulders shake while laughing and you stay still.

with blood shooting up to your cheeks, a shy smile on your face he looks up. “no,”

“no what?” you ask, paying no attention to the way he looks at you because you’re so lost in the way your heartbeat rings in your ear.

“i’m not married.” he mumbles, taking a step forward and you take one back until you’re standing outside the changing rooms.

“single.” he clicks his tongue and with a wink closes the curtains on you.

you stay still for a few seconds, just staring at the curtain until your lips twist into a smile, the one where you bite down on your lower lip.

you then turn around, the smile still on your face and stomach fluttering with butterflies before your eyes set on where seonghwa was pointing at.

“your dad’s men are here!”

the smile you had is quickly replaced by a small frown, fishing your phone out you text you dad wondering just what the fuck is he doing sending his private men when you have your bodyguards with you.

y/n, 2:35pm

dad did you send

someone to keep an

eye on me?

y/n, 2:37pm

i see the seen receipts

u can respond

dad, 2:40pm

come home and we will talk.

with an annoyed sigh you put your phone back in your pocket and then turn around just in time for seonghwa to pull open the curtains.

“oh,” you whisper, standing frozen with your hand still at your back pocket and eyes widening as you look at him up and down.

“how is it?” he asks, fiddling with the cuffs as he straightens the fabric down.

“good…” you mumble, your eyes doing that thing where you look at him up and down slowly as if to save the image in your mind. “great actually…y-yeah,” you nod repeatedly before looking away to whisper an “oh my gosh.”

“is the colour good?“ he asks, completely and utterly oblivious to the way you’re staring at him and if he were to notice he didn’t mention anything. “don’t you think you’re spending too much?”

and how can you not look at him, men in tuxedo’s were always your weakness but what was even worse was when they looked so good in it. “gosh,” you whisper to yourself as you look away and internally yell at yourself to get it together.

“we’ll get this one!” you nod repeatedly, eyes away from him and turning around to walk to the cashier

“y/n, in no way you’re paying.” you grin hearing the four repeat the same thing to you repeatedly.

seonghwa then comes to stand right behind you causing you to look up at him, “yes?”

“y/n, this all is really expensive-“ he looks at the faces of the rest, “we could’ve just gotten the suits from the nearby shop.”

“but i don’t like the fabric they have there.” you retort back with a growing smile; you then  raise your hand to pat his shoulder. “so don’t worry.”

when you turn around to tap your card, you don’t look at the total cost that is until seonghwa decides to angrily whisper in your ear.

“four full suits,” he grits as he looks at the price. “that’s almost 30k!”

“really?” you gasp as you look at the design on your card, void of any surprise.

he nods, “i told you we shouldn’t-“

“-i thought it was expensive.”

you look over your shoulder to watch his face drop with a soft smile before tapping the card, hearing the beep and picking your bags up.

“where to next?” you turn to look at them, blinking twice. “food?”

“n-no!”

“this is where you’re meeting your friend?” seonghwa asks from beside you and you turn to him with a grin that he squints his eyes at.

“what friend?”

he looks in front of him when you nod, a strange looking diner with broken neon lights and a welcome sign full of rust.

“it’s a sweet little diner!”

he thinks it’s anything but sweet, in fact, it looks terrifying and in an extremely sketchy area where the only people visible are older ladies that resemble babushkas.

he’s glad he has his gun right up in inner his chest pocket, ready to pull it out whenever he sees anyone except you glare at him to put it back.

“table for three please!” he hears you ask the lady inside, who gives him a good look before looking back at you.

his eyes look all around at the wallpaper that he’s sure he can find at his grandma’s place.

“there’s only table for two left,” the raspy, deep, and scratchy voice of hers tickles your ears.

it’s then when seonghwa leans near your ear, “ma’am, this place seems way too sketchy-“ he glances at the lady glaring at him. “i-i don’t think we should stay he-“

“we’ll take that one then!”

the lady in front hums with disdain, “married?” she asks, writing something up in her old rust colored diary.

both of you stop blink and exhale on sync.

"no.” he answers.

“yes.” you answer, giving him a look and a tight-lipped smile. “only recently actually! right honey?” you exclaim, holding his forearm and leaning on him that makes him stop in his tracks.

seonghwa stares at you with wide eyes, ready to explain to you how this is not right but your glare has him nodding.

“that’s right!” you kick his shin, “b-baby!”

you smile, eyes curling into upwards crescents as the lady nods. “okay, you can go in.”

once you’re sat, you wiggle your eyebrows at an emotionless seonghwa. leaning forward to pat his shoulder, “how are you honey?” you tease, “do you need water?”

“y/n.”

“what?” you ask, hiding back a smile when the waitress (aka the lady in the front) walks by you two with menus. “loosen up hwa!”

“this is a really stupid idea.”

you shake your head and click your tongue, “not an idea,” you correct him. “but a date.”  

that seems to set him off, “y/n if anyone sees us here, we-“

“i bet you can’t even order.” you interrupt him.

he frowns, “yes i can.”

you lift an eyebrow up, “yeah?” he nods, and you raise your hand to call over the waitress. “do it then.”

he gives you a look when he realizes what you’re doing and shakes his head, sighing as the waitress comes over, chewing her gum obnoxiously. “can we have two plates of pasta?”

“there’s like thirteen choices of pasta in our menu,” the waitress retorts back and you bite back a laugh. “chose one mister, make our lives easier.”

his gaze flickers to yours for a brief moment to see you cupping your mouth, “okay..” he sighs, “two plates of carbonara-“

“that’s not on the menu.”

you choke on the water you had been drinking and heat him sigh out loudly, “just…just give us your best dish.”

“you want it as a pasta?”

“yes!” you answer instead of him, “just please bring us anything, we’re really hungry!”

“you guys are weird.” she says, and you nod.

“look who’s talking,“ seonghwa mumbles, a bit too loudly, wanting a glare from the waitress and a snort from you.

“where have you dragged me y/n.”

“to fun.” you answer, leaning back while shooting him a finger gun.

fun was surely delivered, especially when the waitress accidentally dropped the sauce on seonghwa’s sleeves and mumbled a “deserved it.”

or maybe how you two were left utterly surprised at how good the dish was, both your eyes widening dramatically. mumbling how good it was and how he underestimated and judged it before he had anything from here.

and the fun only exceeding when in the middle of your dinner date, the restaurant seemed to play some music that worked like crack on you two. you standing up mid-way of drinking a cola and joining the five others dancing in the middle.

the five others being, two staff members, one chef and another customer.

while seonghwa sat and ate his pasta, watching you from his seat with a smirk. eyes on your every move and it felt like the time had slowed down for him, the restaurants dark nature and red and yellow lights framed you perfectly in his eyes.

he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, seeing how you’d bite your lips and how your hands were in the air while you tried to mumble along the song.

he didn’t realize how long he had been looking at you that he didn’t notice you calling out for him, which he did shook his head at first but joined, nevertheless.

surpassing you by shaking his hips and leaving the others wide mouthed, all while his hands were on your waist, as if reminding everyone to not mess with you while you moved along the beat. he looked like the terrifyingly handsome man who was possessive over you, you liked that agenda.

before you two left, the waitress brought over a box of rings which made you squeal. “choose one for yourselves!” and then she explained how it was a side business and you immediately chose two.

One black and the other purple, simply because the two had the same design just different colors. One for seonghwa and the other for you.

“you two should put it on here!” the waitress said, ushering the two of you to exchange rings in the middle of the restaurants

which seonghwa surprised you with, gently holding your hand and slipping the ring on your forefinger while you smiled teasingly before doing the same.

When two of you left, it rained heavily. With no sign of a store nearby to grab an umbrella, you decided why not walk under the rain.

“y/n, you’re gonna get sick!”

“it’s worth it!” you yell back, twirling in the rain while he watched you from afar. though following you anyway, with a permanent smile on his face.

he thinks it’s the most he’s ever smiled, and it happened to be when he’s with you.

and then hears you sniffle, drenched from top to bottom yet a smile never left your lips. “cold?” he asked, and you nod, and then he removed his long warm coat to drape around your shoulders. “good?”

“great.” you answered, heart skipping a beat.

and if he thought you two would call it a day there, he was wrong. because you dragged him into a photo booth to take pictures, one where he stands stuff as a guard and their others where you forced him to make at least one face.

“put up a peace sign at least!” you whined your which he smiled at and did as you told, copying you and taking the pictures you wanted.

where in one you had your hands on his shoulder in the cramped booth, the two of you pushed up against one other. eyes staring into each other’s eyes while your breaths mingled, and if one move, he’d end up kissing you. and it’s not like you minded, noticing his blushing face whenever you were remotely two inches away from his face, you found it endearing.

and then you took him to a playground, thankfully which was near his place. challenging him for a round of basketball to which he shook his head at, “we should go back home now, y/n, it’s almost ten-“

“just one round.” you asked, holding up one finger with shiny eyes and he couldn’t help but nod.

though he beat you in every single round that was definitely more than one, you yelled at him to either “stop cheating!” followed by a gasp or a “i was too easy on you!” or “i let you win!” to which he’d teasingly nod his head at.

and now you two stood in front of his apartment door, “i asked boss if you could stay the night, he said only if you’re back early morning.”

you turn to him, “i don’t wake up before ten by the way!” and push open the door while he stands with his shoulders slumped before joining you inside and keeping a distance.

“sorry, my house isn’t as big as yours.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed.

“i kind of don’t care?” you say, looking around his small living room with a smile. “now where’s the bathroom?"

he points to the right and you say a thank you before scurrying towards it, leaving him standing alone by the door with his hands in his pocket.

a sigh leaves his lips as he begins to take his coat off, the one that now smelled like you. but before he has the chance to hang it up, his hand rummages through the pocket to find a strip of photos you two took.

a smile forms one his lips unknowingly, staring at the strip where your lips made a pout and he tried to copy it or where you held up a peace sign and his eyes were on you.

he couldn’t recognize the stare he was giving you, but he knows it’s something he shouldn’t dwell on further, knowing it’s against the rules given to him.

“you think he’d like this?” you ask, tapping your feet on the gravel repeatedly while looking at kai through the car window.

“you bought him the entire store,” he snaps his hand, “what makes you think he wouldn’t?”

you sigh and nod, leaning over the window and tapping the dashboard. “can you bring what i asked you in a while? i’ll text you okay?”

“got it,” he nods, pushing his glasses down, winking and raising his fist in the air.

with a smile, you grab the bags (in the hand that doesn’t hurt) from the backseat and take a quick look at the dark, cloudy sky and you know it’s about to rain.

“if i don’t text you,” you say, fishing your phone out to see the messages being sent in by hongjoong. “that means he said no.”

he nods and you turn around, holding the big bag in your right hand as kai drives his car out the driveway before you make your way inside the bodyguard quarters. hiding from the cameras you know your dad would be able to watch and you’d be done for.

the second you’re inside, a whole line of bodyguards stand at the lobby waiting for you with a grin. they bow in sync, and you stop them mid-way, “y-you don’t need to bow please!”

they all smile, and you return it awkwardly before asking where seonghwa was, and at the mention of him they all stand up straight. gulp and then point towards the left in unison.

you hold back a snort before nodding and running down the hallway, a soft smile on your face and a bag hidden behind your back. you walk, jog, run whatever down the hall until you’re standing in front of the room where hongjoong said seonghwa would be at.

with a long and shaky inhale, you lift your hand to wrap around the doorknob. but before that you press your ear up against the door, feeling your heartbeat increase with each punch you hear from the inside.

swallowing the lump down your throat, you twist the door open and step inside quietly. closing the door behind you, you’re welcomed to a dark room.

where in the middle shone a bright light, where you hear loud punches being thrown at a punching bag and you immediately know it’s seonghwa.

from the rough breathing and the groans, your insides coil up as you slowly step towards the light. and when you do, you’re able to see the back of seonghwa though the netted wall. he wears a black tank top, and your eyes can’t help but rake at his broad back muscles flexing with every movement he does.

with a small smile you begin to walk towards him, hoping he won’t notice you right away. you watch the way his hands move skillfully, how he stands in one place het completely demolishes the bag with a single punch.

his hair over his eyes, arms shining with sweat and jaw clenched you couldn’t help but feel your knees grow weak.  

his hand threw a loud punch at the bag, sweating and grunting with each movement before he finally stops. letting out a loud sigh and unwraps the white bandages around his fists, stretching his shoulders while he’s at it.

then he throws the bandages on the floor and turns around only to stop, “y/n?” he squeaks, eyes looking at you up and down as you walk in holding cake with a candle lit up in the middle.

“w-what are you doing he-“

“happy birthday mr bodyguard!” he hears you squeal as you walk closer to him holding the cake that he finally gets a full view of you as you come under the light singing the birthday song.

“happy birthday hwa.” you whisper, and his eyes grow wide and shiny and glassy. you walk closer with a growing soft smile, carefully reaching out to grab his wrist. “come sit first.”

“y/n..” he mumbles, and you smile, placing the cake box on the floor as you take a seat on the ground. “who…who told you?”

“hongjoong,” you respond, pushing the cake his way with a smile that he can’t help but want to see every day. “now, blow the candles!”

“you didn’t have to do this y/n,”

“who was going to then?” you raise an eyebrow, “they all told me you never celebrate your birthday, because you’re so stubborn and bossy and angry-“

he cuts you off with a deep laugh that makes butterflies gather in your stomach, “did they really tell you that?”

you shake your head, “no, just my observations.” he smirks, “i got a keen eye you know?”

“hm?” he teases before you push the cake his way, he grabs the plastic knife from your hand and leans forward.

“i haven’t formally celebrated my birthday in years.” he whispers, and you smile a little, “thank you."

hovering his face over the cake, he looks at you with a soft look and reaches for your hand gently. “do it with me.”

you frown, “no, it’s your birthday silly!”

he hears nothing but motions for you to come closer and you do, on a count of three the two of you blow the candle at the same time while he still holds your hand, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.

“happy birthday seonghwa!” you say once again, sheepishly bringing a small confetti popper out and popping it.

you expect it to rain confetti with a pop all over but all you get is seonghwa throwing his head back laughing, while all the confetti’s laying in your lap. you popped it the wrong way.

you bite your lower lip before gathering them in your hand and throwing the confetti in the air, it’s right then when time falls slow for him.

he watches the way colorful confetti fills the air and how your eyes glow at the sight of it, a smile one your face and it feels like you were the epitome of light for him.

a pot of honey, or an orb of light or what he hears people in movies call a euphoric feeling.

“thank you,”

it’s all he’s able to say because he’s so fixated on your tinted lips curling into never ending smile that makes his heartbeat ring in his ear.  

the more he looks at you, he feels like he’s in some cliché hallmark movie that wooyoung forces him to watch to experience affection.

he thinks he’s experiencing affection right now and he wishes wooyoung was with him but the other part of him wished he didn’t have him there, not because of his teasing but because he wanted this moment to himself.

where you feed him a piece of cake with a cherry on top, accidentally brushing your fingertips to his lips for a quick second to you sitting by him with a polaroid camera in front of him.  

the camera you’re barely able to hold properly because of your elbow, which he supports by holding the other side of the camera.

“say cheese!”

he doesn’t, but smiles either way which makes you snort and take the picture anyway. one where he holds the cake and the other where he’s midway of eating it, where his cheeks are full, and eyes are wide and shiny.

and as you’re about to move away, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you close. close enough for you to be right in front of his face, tips of your noses touch. “where do you think you’re going?”

“nowhere.” you whisper, shakily. eyes on him but they keep flickering down to his lips.

“take a picture with me then,” he asks, searching your face as the light highlights it. the dark room where only you two are in, it feels as if you’re in the sets of the greatest showman. “…because i want to have a memory of you.“

“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere,” you say cheekily and his smile falters for a second, but before you notice he shakes his head. “i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”

with that you sit by him, a little distance between you two that he notices and snakes his arm around your waist to pull you in closer.

“good?” he whispers down your neck, low and raspy that it sends a shiver down your body.

“good.” you whisper back, looking at the camera before lifting it up, barely, with your arm that is until he takes it from your hands and holds it in his.

he moves closer till your shoulder hit’s his chest and his chin is rests on top of your head, the action alone makes you want to curl in closer but it’s the thoughts in your head that stop you.

which to be fair, your thoughts are never ones that won’t end up on your tongue. which is exactly what happening in the next few moments that seem like the most aggravatingly slow moments.

“i like you.”

he snaps the picture.

you feel him stiffen up beside you and you closer your eyes, biting your lips and repeating you’re done for, you’re done for, you’re done for.

“i like you seonghwa.” you repeat and keep going until you know you’ll be regretting it. “i have for a while now….a-and i,” you clear your throat, “i couldn’t hold it anymore.”

“y/n..”

“i know! i know!” you quickly interrupt him, “you just think of me as your boss and all, which yes, go you! but…i know this sounds selfish but..”

“but?” he whispers, feeling his breath fan down your neck and it only makes you bite your lips more.

“i kind of, not kind of! but i did fall for you…it may sound selfish because you were just doing your job and…” you swallow, feeling tears prickle at your eyes at this confession even if it sounds so stupid. “…and i’m sorry for that but i really wanted you to be more than just my bodyguard.”

“i also know you won’t agree to it!” you explain, and he listens to it while staring down at you. “which is your decision and i respect that…but i really wanted to tell you this before..before it became worse.”

“why?”

your heart thumps against your chest at the silence, heart dropping to your stomach and palms growing sweaty.

“you’re comforting to be around,” you answer, looking down at your lap. “you do the smallest things, and it drives me crazy, i thought i was crazy at first…but the more i spend my time with you.”

“i was convinced i started to like you more than i had previously,” a sigh leaves your lips, as you mind plays flashbacks. “every time you’d walk by in that suit of yours,” you smack your forehead lightly at that. “god, i didn’t know someone could be that attractive, with that angry face all the time.”

“so yes…” you inhale sharply and make the mistake of looking at him, “i really do like you, not as a bodyguard…but more than that, gosh this feels so stupid to say..”

before he gets to answer, you’re already up on your feet. looking anywhere but him, “i..you can take your time to think,” he watches you step back, “i’ll be outside!” before you scurried away.

leaving a dumbfounded seonghwa with a small box in hand, a cake on the floor and a polaroid beside him.

“i like you.”

“shit.” he whispers to himself in the silence, fingers opening the box in his hands which reveals a wallet. his eyebrow furrow at that, “wallet?”

but then he remembers it’s the same one he was looking at the other day, where you two went out after your class and how you were asking him if he liked a certain item.

“shit, shit, shit.”

“i like you, more than just my bodyguard.”

he then runs a hand down his face, biting his lips as he pushes his hair back and looks down at the polaroid of you and him. he lifts his it up in his hands and stares at it.

a photo of you and him together, unlike all the photos he’s been in where you’re in the front beside your father and he’s in the far back.

your smile makes his lips curl into one, your cheek squished against his chest and his chin on your head, he sighs as he stares at it more.

“i did fall for you.”

he wished he felt surprised at what you had hold him, but on the inside he wasn’t. he felt like he knew it all along, how you felt and as the days went by and…he couldn’t help but be attracted to you too.

from your bright, cheery, and teasing personality that, at first, got on his nerves but now he can’t get it out of his nerves because he’s grown to be very fond if you as well.

and he knows he’s fond of you especially if he gets called out by wooyoung and hongjoong in the hallways, whenever you’d walk last him and wink at him it’s like they knew and teased him about it.

so, he then finds himself looking at the door, biting the insides of his lower lip he stands up and as he’s about to walk out the door with a smirk on his face, he remembers your father.

and all the blood from his face drains.

how can he betray your father like that? his hands fall down the doorknob as his heartbeat thumps against his chest. how can he go against your fathers’ rules? and fall for you?

“i like you seonghwa.”

“do not touch my daughter.”

“i like you seonghwa…more than just my bodyguard.”

how can he betray the hand that feeds him?

but can he betray his own heart like that?

as seonghwa steps outside the back doors after getting looks of tease from the other guards, which he responds with a grim and stands by the front doors.

watching the rain fall and create mists all over, so much so that he’s barely able to see the back yard. he inhales before grabbing an umbrella, opening it with one hand while the other stays in his pocket where he had the picture of you two.

with only one thing in his mind, you.

at how he’s going to answer you, your dad and himself.

speaking of you, he sees you running towards him from the white mists in the dark night. at first, he squints his eyes to make sure it is you and not some newbie doing rounds around the place.

once you’re more visible to him, his heartbeat takes a sudden stride in speed as you run towards him, holding a bouquet of red flowers.

smiling brightly while you’re getting drenched in the rain, holding the bouquet to your chest as you step into puddles avoiding the rain.

and before he thinks ahead, he walks down the stairs. walking to you with an umbrella over his head, eyes stuck on you and hand holding the picture tightly.

you notice and run faster, breathing heavily. waving at him to which he just stares at you, and your smile falters.

a sinking feeling in your stomach grows as you come closer him, until finally you’re under the same umbrella as him.

“hi,” you breathe out, panting and clutching the bouquet in your wet hands.

he smiles a little, eyes flickering from your eyes to your hair that’s all wet to your lips that make him clutch the umbrella tighter. “hi.”

“i brought this for you too,” you point at the flowers and look up, holding them out towards you.

he says nothing but watches the way the light from behind him shines on your face. a singular ray of light perfectly halving your face, leaving one side bright and the other darker.

“….and i assume your answer is a, no?” he hears you ask, tilting your head just a little.

“i like you.”

“i like you seonghwa.”

“more than just a bodyguard.”

you smile a little, exhaling before nodding. “that’s alright,” you squeak out despite the heavy feeling in your heart.

“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,”

“don’t disappoint me park.”

“i like you seonghwa.”

“…you can..just forget this ever h-“

but before you’re able to finish your sentence and say your prepared pre-break-up speech and him being able to articulate his thoughts. you’re cut off by seonghwa throwing the umbrella to the side and locking his lips with yours at a surprising pace.

you let out a squeal at the suddenness, but cave right in at his soft, plumpy and pillowy lips. your eyes fall shut slowly as a gasp of yours gets hushed by his lips that stay over yours for a second longer and then slowly start to move.

his arms sneak around your torso, pulling you in and the action alone makes your heart pound faster. he holds you impossibly closer, your hands falling flat against his chest as he balances you to him.

he pulls back shortly, resting his forehead on yours while his eyes are shut but his lips break out into a smile. the rain falls down on you two hard, but that’s the least of your worries, neither that or the possible stares you two are getting from the windows or the cctv camera’s.

“are you…”

“yes.” he whispers, opening his eyes to look at yours. “i like you too.”

you chuckle, “i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”

he snorts, nuzzling his forehead against yours. “why?” pecking at the skin under your eye.

“i don’t like to share.”

he breaks out into a toothy smile, and it tugs at your chest, blinking away the rain on your eyelashes. “fortunately, the perks of working under your dad is that i never dated.”

you nod with a raised eyebrow, “guess that’ll change now, huh?”

he smiles, “i guess so.” and does that thing with his eyebrows, in that teasing singing tone that makes you look away.

when you look up, your eyes stop at his lips and just the sight of them makes you throw your head back and laugh. “what is it?” he asks, lifting his hand from your waist to your upper back.

you then lift your hand to wipe your face with your sleeve before looking at him, and then hook your sleeve to your thumb and point at his lips. “my lipsticks all on you silly.”

and as you’re about to swipe it off, he cuts you off in leaning in closer to kiss you all over again. but this time by deepening the kiss, a ray of butterflies fill your gut, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

the flowers long gone and now you two standing alone in the rain, umbrella on the ground beside seonghwa, flowers beside you and just the night falling on you two.

you feel him smile against your lips when you try to make a point about the flowers, “hey!” but he pays no attention and instead licks at lower lip, and you grant access by opening your mouth while smiling which he gladly takes and slips his tongue in.

your hands that rested on his neck now find playing with his hair, kissing him as passionately and intensely as he does. his hand travel down to behind your thighs, before he slightly lifts you off the ground, the sound of lips smacking against one another echoed slightly, but the rain overpowered it all.

the kiss is rhythmic, slow and stable at the same time. the one that makes your knees wobble and if it weren’t for him holding your waist, you probably- absolutely, would’ve slid down.

when he pulls back, both of you are breathless. panting as a string of spit connects you two, he leans in again and kisses you the same way he did before.

lifting his hand cupping your cheeks and kissing your gently until you whisper his name, and he slowly pulls back, his hair covering his eyes while his swollen lips match yours.

“we can’t let anyone find out about us.” you nod with a determined look. 

“especially my dad.”

“especially your dad.”

you chuckle, nodding before your eyes travel behind him and you laugh once again.

“wooyoung’s-“

“watching through the window, isn’t he?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in his embrace.

you chuckle, looking behind him to see all of them pressed up against the window, cheeks and bodies all squished to get a look.

“mhm,” you smile, catching wooyoung’s wave with an overly impressed face. “he’s actually waving at you right now.”

“tell him he better run.”

with the way your gala was being prepared, you would’ve thought it was some oscars. from dress’s to suits to decorations to gifts and to invites, it was all a mess.

and so were you and seonghwa.

a mess, trying to hide it all in front and behind your fathers’ sharp eyes.

you were sure you two would get caught in a matter of a few minutes, even seconds but were left utterly surprised when you realized it had been a little over a month since you two began your secret venture.

with holding hands under the tables and behind your backs, to sneakily escaping out at night to get your fair share of dates which one, were short but were worth it. any date or time you spent together only made you get to know him even better than before, which means you were in too deep for him.

it was evident on your face that you were so entranced by seonghwa, from having your elbow on the table and cupping your cheek while watching seonghwa explain something to your dad.

or watch him train the newbies, flipping them over in combat while wooyoung teased about seonghwa getting softer.

seonghwa’s usual ‘angry-young-man’ face was now switched to someone who couldn’t keep a smile off his face when you were in the room, which at times did get him in trouble.

“what’re you smiling at park?”

“n-nothing sir, just remembered a joke.”

which made you look away to hide a laugh, “oh? share it with us too.”

“dad!”

as for seonghwa, the teasing’s he gets every second were more than enough to get his feelings across. from getting shy to hiding his face in your shoulder whenever you tease him about it to doing an absolute 360 when the doors are closed.

so, you don’t know how a game of monopoly could lead into seonghwa hovering on top of you, thankfully, this time at his place.

“you’re in a hurry,” you whisper, raising an eyebrow teasingly to which he smirks at. “can’t guard me from you?”

“very much so,” he whispers, closing the space between his lips and yours and pressing them together gently. “you know sometimes…you talk too much.”

“yeah?” you say against his lips, “then…make me go quiet.”

you feel him smile softly in between the kiss that’s gone from sweet, slow, to faster but sensual. his hands slowly travel to yours, interlocking his fingers with yours he brings your hand above your head.

“i think,” he pulls back, forehead resting on yours and staring directly at you with a fond look. “i like you talking, especially right now.”

you hum playfully and he moves to place his lips on yours, lifting his other hand up to cup your cheek to deepen it. his warm lips melt over yours in an instant and it shoots butterflies in your stomach, squirming under him when he hums against your lips.

he pushes himself on you and your let out a muffled whimper, his tongue licks at your lips and his grasp on your wrist tightens. the sound of kissing echoes the room, and you grow impatient, lifting your head up to his to kiss back quicker, and more intenser.

he catches into that quick and whispers a “easy.” in between the kisses and it makes you fall back, he finds purchase in sucking on your lower lip in particular, that’s so soft that he lightly nibbles on it.

with a slight gasp that leaves you, he takes the chance to slip his tongue in. quickly exploring your mouth and you moan when he uses his teeth to nibble on your lower lip and it has you moaning and lifting your hips against him.

he nibbles and sucks and swirls his tongue over your lips, hands roaming everywhere and swollen, hot, swollen lips pecking every part of your face, neck and shoulders that makes you giggle as he does it repeatedly with a smile.

he sucks and bites and circles his tongue down your neck, sucking at a spot that has you hissing in pleasure. your hand still in his hold above your head while the other wraps around his shoulders.

when you two pull back, both of you are breathing heavily. panting his eyes looks at yours, and then down to your swollen lips. smirking he lays his lips over yours again, softly and it only lasts for a second before he pulls back.

“you think we’ll make it back to your place,” he mumbles lowly, caressing your cheek. “in a few?” his low tone sends a shiver down your spine, and you shudder.

“my plan was to stay in actually.” you whisper back, your fingers pushing his hair back.

his hand that held your hand up, trails down to  your waist, his fingertips dance over your clothed skin. you could feel the thudding of your loud heartbeat fastening, driving your knees weak when he looks at you with those sharp, and eyes that grew darker in a split second.

“…as much as i want to,” he whispers, leaning down to peck your cheeks. “we can’t.”

he hears you whine and leans down by your ear, “if we have time later on, and you’re not drunk-“

but you’re quick to shut up him by locking your lips with his, catching him off-guard. lifting yourself up and pushing him up by the shoulders, in a matter of seconds switching positions to seating as his back hits bedframe and you come to straddle his legs.

“in a hurry?” he whispers, a little out of breath and wide eyed, hands itching to hold onto the ends of your dress, it makes you rub your thighs together.

you smirk, “very.” and take his hands to your hips, “didn’t take you for someone who’d be slow.”

“oh yeah?” he asks, bunching your dress up to your waist before he leans down, pressing himself over you and earning a low mewl from you.  

“mhm,” you nod, hands lifting unbutton his shirt. “into vanilla?”

he smirks, “i’m into many things,” he lifts you up and you take the chance to wrap your arms around his shoulders, closing in on the distance between you two.

“at once or alone?” you tease.

his fingers fiddle with the strap as of your dress and you unbutton his shirt, and he chucks it away somewhere on the floor. “wait and see.”

with a smile, you run your forefinger down his chest until it reaches the very end, you lean forward peck his lips and then slowly start to grind on him. his hands immediately fly to your hips as he keeps them in one place and gives you a stare, and then returns the kiss.

the glint of darkness in his eyes makes your insides curl as he pushes your dress strap down, hands on your waist and eyes on you he can’t help but throw his head back and groan.

and you can’t help but find it attractive, you’ve been with people before who’d rather suppress their voices than to let them out fully. so, seeing him do so turns you on even more, enough for you to take the initiative and strip yourself off the dress, tossing it somewhere in the room.

his eyes land on your chest before looking at you, his grip on your waist tightening as you smile and push your hair to the side. “fuck,” he swears under his breath, and you hide back a smile and begin to grind against him.

he leans in to kiss you once again and it’s as if he can’t seem to get enough of you, his hands go from your waist to your breast, and he squeeze at them lightly. earning bite on his lips from you, “god damnit y/n,” he mumbles.

stopping everything to just look at you, from the way the little number of light shades over your face. how prettily your hair sits on your shoulders, how smooth your skin look and how beautiful it all feels to him. the stare in your eyes, playfully yet trusting and the bite you do to your lips that drives him crazy.

crazy enough that he pushes you back on the bed, earning a gasp from you when his lips  attach to your neck and fingers go straight to your clit.  

he smirks at the way you twitch, quickly capturing your lips again. not so sweetly this time as it gets messier, and faster as if he’s hungry along with his hard dick pressing in you, your hips arching to him as you begin to grind. lips never leaving the others, you two kept on going.

smiling and moaning in between the kisses, you pushing his hair back which makes him smile and squeeze your hips.

“seonghwa, p-please.” you say, his mouth moving down to your jaw to your neck and to your shoulders. knowing he’s leaving his mark on your skin and you couldn’t care less if anyone even found out.

you wanted him to mark you, and you made sure you told him that by responding to every single one of his touches. “you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.” he whispers, nuzzling into you while whispering sweet nothings and cooing.

the sudden action making you bite your lips and throw your head back, feeling his hands come up to cup your breasts as he squeezes at them.

his lips curl up in a smirk, “you’ve been waiting, haven’t you?” he pauses to take in your face, the way your eyebrows touch and your mouth that parts a little. “to do this.”

“mhm,” you nod as he slowly brings his hand to your center, you back immediately arches to his hand, and he chuckles.

“how long?”

“since the day you became my guard.”

and with that he wastes no time to pull your panties to the side, finally pressing his slim and long fingers to your already wet self. the moment his fingers touch your clit, you shudder, and he gasps breathily.

he uses his middle finger to run a lap up your folds and you breathe in heavily, your hands now flat against his chest as he flattens his palm against your now needy clit.

his tongue pokes out his mouth, eyeing the way your lips let out sighs and how you close your eyes at the way he begins to move his finger in and out of you.

he slowly starts to insert his fingers inside you and your mouth hangs open, he sees your reaction and inserts another finger in. your body jumping in pleasure, and he quickly pecks your lips, “it’s okay.”

he hums when he runs the tip of his index finger over your already wet pussy before plunging it into your heat and you gaped at the intensity, buying your head seonghwa’s chest.

he slowly starts to move as you throw your part your legs open, he pumps in and out of you at a slow speed, then fastens it. breathy moans flee your pretty lips and it has him fastening his pace even faster, his lips remain attached to your neck while his slim and long fingers move at a fast pace.

you arch your back and move your hips along to his rhythm, “like it?” he mumbles, before delivering on an angle that as your entire body arching up.

“y-yes,” you breathe out, eyes shut.

your hand reaches for seonghwa’s free hand and guide him to your breast “y/n-“ his left hand rid to your left breast, kneading it softly while fingering your clit at different speeds and fumbling with that specific bundle of nerves harshly leaving you whimpering his name out loud.

“hm?” he hums, teeth grazing your skin.

“i’m close!” your eyes are shut tight and the heat coiling in your stomach becoming too much for you.

just as you say that he stops. you let out a cry in frustration and he smirks, “easy there ma’am,” you smile at the ‘ma’am’ “we’ve got a few minutes.”

you open your eyes gently to see him staring down at you, admiring you in a way no one has ever. his stare alone makes you look away and he chuckled lowly at that.

he then hovers over you, his chain hitting your face in the way, and he plants fleeing kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, you squirm and chuckle until he cups your cheek. “y/n,” he whispers, eyes looking at you longingly as tears pricks at your eyes. “i’m gonna go in, is that okay?”

you smile and pull him closer by the chain he has on, “i’ve been waiting hwa,” you whisper against his lips.

and then he does it again, inhaling sharply as he admires you. fighting the urge to let out a whimper and begins by pecking every part of you, humming with a smile whenever you run your fingers through his hair.

you hear him unbuckle his pants and it has you biting your lips, thought his eyes never leave yours when doing so. choosing to watch the way your face changes expressions, as if remembering it all as if you’d vanish, he slips his briefs off and his cock slaps his stomach.

his fingers hover over your clit before he slowly pushes them in, your head thrown back and your mouth letting out breathy and airy moans of his names that you’re sure his neighbors can probably loud and clear.

“y/n, please be quiet for me.” he warns but with no ill intent, instead it comes off as a whine in your ear as you bite your lips, arching your back to his fingers.

“no,” your whines don’t stop him from using his slim and long fingers to curl up inside you, his face hidden in your neck while he fingered your already sensitive clit from moments prior.

it’s then when he whispers that he’s about to go in and you cry his name out, the one that had his cock hardening.

“fuck, baby.” he lets out a whine when he eyes your state, “you’ve been a brat but i love it all.”

he then lines his tip, that’s already been coated in pearls of precum to your entrance. holding your hand in his while the other stays on your waist, he enters you, both your lips letting out gasps when you feel one another.

he buries his face in your neck as he starts to move, hearing your moans in his ear as you feel yourself stretch out at his length. he starts slow, as if testing the waters and then picks his speed up.

you let out high pitched yet breathy cries for pleasure and hold onto his shoulders, nails digging in his shoulders, body moving against the bed as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.

your head falls back, mouth hangs open as he starts to roll his hips into yours and you let out a cry that echoed the room.

“you feel so- god, so good.” you cry out as he continues to go at different speeds, the room filling with his own loud moans, groans, and growls.

“be quiet for me y/n,” he does a particular thrust that has you biting your lips. “can’t have the nei-“

“fuck your neighbors,” you manage to let out in the state you were in, “f-fuck me.”

he whines, the one that his eyebrows touching. “bossy much?” and chuckles cockily.

“f-fuck yes hwa,” your eyes roll back when he hits that certain spot in you, again and again, you let out a cry, throwing your head back on the pillow while releasing moans and whimpers of his name in pleasure.

he whines and groans into you when he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast, and hard and deep and you let a loud, pleasurable moan as the heat in you becomes unbearable until you both find yourselves coming down from your highs.

he carefully takes himself out of you and you wince at the sensitivity. sweat lines both your bodies, sex filling air and he slumps down on you, wrapping his arms around you with a peck to your forehead, nose and then he’s about to place on your lips that you pull him to you. burying your face in his chest, he chuckles.

“are you okay?” he asks, gently caressing your hair, he pecks your temple. feeling you hold him tighter, you two stay like this for a while, catching your breaths.

when you lift your head to look at him, “i’m impressed.” he looks at you with half lidded eyes and a boyish grin that makes your heart swell.

“already?” he mocks playfully with a scoff. “wait til-“

“-gosh, keep things a surprise, will you?” you groan, and he nods cutely while poking his tongue out.

it goes quiet for a while, just you to now lying beside one another. chests heaving up and down at a slow pace and your face now turning to his, “hey seonghwa.”

you hear him hum in response, “would you..actually never mind.”

“what is it?” he asks, turning his body towards you.

you shake your head, “c’mon, you’ve got me hooked now.”

“no, it’s just…i don’t think you answer it.” you mumble, sighing after that.

“i probably can’t unless you don’t tell me y/n,” he whispers, nudging your cheek with his nose. “what’s got your pretty little head thinking?”

you swallow, close your eyes, and blurt. “would you….go against my father for me?”

the silence that follows makes you smile a little, knowing the question you asked would be met with nothing but disappointment. “i told you, you wouldn’t be able to answer it.”

when you open your eyes, you find him staring at you with a look you can’t quite decipher, “i’m…”

“that’s fine.” you reassure, patting his chest a stiff grin. “you don’t have to say anything.”

“i don’t have an answer…” he inhales sharply, “just yet.”

you smile, nodding before laying down on your back. falling into yet another round of silence until he speaks.

“thoughts on a hot shower?” he offers, caressing your arms.

“yes, please!”

he lifts himself up on his elbows and holds you by your back, “come on lazy,”

you give him a soft grin, eyes threatening to fall into slumber that he shakes you gently. “don’t sleep on me sweetheart, we’ve got places to be.”

when you don’t respond or move, he stands up, hissing at the cold floor under his feet before lifting you off the bed. your eyes fly open, and a gasp leaves your lips, arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders.

with a laugh he walks to his bathroom, pushing the door open with his feet he turns the light on while you watch him with a grin. he then places you on the counter carefully, pecking your nose before stepping aside to grab a few towels.

just as he’s about to though, the bell to his front door rings. your eyes meet at that, almost as if asking each other who it was.

“oh! must be your neighbors.” you tease, and he chucks a towel at your face. “noise complaint perhaps?”

he shakes his head and looks out the bathroom doorframe with a small frown and then looks at you, “go in first, i’ll go see who it is.”

with that he shuts the bathroom door, grabs his pants and shirt, and hurriedly puts them on as the bell rings again. not once, or twice but thrice.

he doesn’t know why he his stomach drops as he walks closer to open the door, thinking it may just be one of the guys coming to get ready at his place.

with his hand on the doorknob, he hears you call out for him, and he twists open the door after unlocking it, expecting wooyoung or hongjoong at his door.

but what he didn’t expect was your dad standing at his door.

“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”

everywhere you look it feels suffocating, the obnoxious colors of gold and silver blinding your vision along with the ample amount of people in this grand hall of yours. everything was overly luxurious to the point it might start to look tacky.

“you seem awfully distracted at your own celebration,” you roll your eyes at the obnoxious voice of kai. “where’s your guard?”

right, seonghwa.

you can’t find him anywhere, in fact this whole week he’s been absent or rushing somewhere.

“that’s who i’m looking for,” you respond, holding your wine red dress up as you walk past crowds giving you smiles with motives behind them.

you’ve been at this gala ever since it started, meeting people you’ve never seen before who offer or beg you to accept their son as your husband in exchange of power and protection.

you’ve successfully dodged every single one of their attempts, looking for seonghwa instead but you can’t find him anywhere. not even outside, not with hongjoong or wooyoung or even beside your dad.

you’ve sent him countless messages that are either not sent or turned green.

there’s an uneasiness beginning to settle in your gut, a worry of sort that you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since this gala started and it’s almost about to end.

you’ve barely touched the champagne in your hand, eyes roaming around countlessly trying to see just where seonghwa was. you walk past the lavish decorations, ranging from holds and silvers and flowers of all sorts to where you saw wooyoung lined up.

you see the way his eyes lighten up when you walk closer to him, his stiff posture faltering. “wooyoung.”

“hi y/- ma’am!” he quickly corrects himself quickly in a panic. “you look lovely.” he points, and you wave him off with a chuckle.

“have you seen seonghwa?”

“i was actually going to ask you the same,” he says, expression changing when he sees the restlessness on your face. “i haven’t seen him since morning, i figured he was with y-“

“-he isn’t,” you interrupt, fingers gripping the glass tighter as you look over your shoulder. your gaze falls straight on your father who’s busy talking to a number of investors with a laugh. “i’ll, i’ll go look don’t worry!”

with that you begin to walk towards your dad, eyes narrowing and forming into glares because you know your dad’s got something to do with this.

your glass finds itself placed on a waiter’s tray as he walks by as you make your way closer to your dad. your heels click against the marble and as you’re stepping closer, the crowd steps back until you’re finally standing in front of him with a smile.

“hi dad,” you sigh, looking beside him to see an elder man giving you a polite smile. “can we talk?”

“of course,” your dad gives the man beside him and a few others a look before turning to you, “excuse me gentleman.”

you father extends his arm to you, and you give him a stare before smiling stiffly, linking your arm with his before walking to a private space just near the end of the hall.

as you’re walking with your dad through the crowd, many give you two smiles and bows of respect. the action alone makes you cringe, and you look away, jaw clenching and unclenching until you two are finally out of everyone’s hair.

“dad,” you close the door behind you, arms crossing over your chest. “where’s hwa?

your father ticks an eyebrow at your mistake, “who’s that?”

you grit your teeth, “you know exactly who, don’t joke around like this.”

if anyone were to walk in right now, they’d be witnessing a stare down between the father-daughter. your eyes imitated his perfectly, the emotionless glare he sends your way with maybe, a little bit of warmth behind it.

“he’s seonghwa for you.”

“you don’t get to decide that dad.” you enunciate, standing tall now. “where is he.”

the man in front of you shrugs, “he’s at the countryside, doing a job for me.”

“oh?” you raise an eyebrow, “but don’t you usually send your bodyguards there?”

“what do you mean?” he narrows his eyes at you, a frown decorating his face now. “he is one of mine-“

“nuh uh,” you stop him, “seonghwa’s my bodyguard now, i get to decide where he goes and doesn’t.”

“in fact, you’d never send anyone of your men away when you know there’s an event!” you take a step forward, “you want the most protection at these things and sending seonghwa? the one with the most experience here away? just like that?”

“there’s certain things he needs to finish.”

“i don’t trust you,” you blurted, making him snap his eyes at you. “you’ve been having way too many emergency meetings with seonghwa…so much so that he’s barely around.”

“and why are you so worried y/n?” he questions, tone as if jabbing at you. “he’s just your bodyguard, am i right?”

you grow quiet at that, “he’s..”

“we have to keep this a secret.”

“he’s…my friend.” you respond, staring at your dad with a frown. “he’s someone i’ve begun to trust more than anyone in this house.”

“you can’t be friends with guards, they’re not on our level.”

you scoff, “have you gone crazy?” you ask, staring at him in disbelief. “what does that even mean!”

“it means you cannot have any relationships with guards,” he announces, staring into your eyes directly before looking away. “bodyguards are neither friends nor families…they’re just low lives.”

“don’t forget you started from there too dad,” you bite back, eyes now forming into an icy glare. “those low lives of yours put their lives on line for you, they get injured and worse, even killed because of you!”

“that is their job.”

“and yours is to respect them!” you yell back, appalled by this sudden change in your dad’s demeanor that you had never seen before.

“you like seonghwa.”

fuck the secret seonghwa, you think.

“i do.” you admit, voice shaky and you take a step closer. “i like one of your low lives, guess that makes me one too, am i right?”

you father says nothing, and you scoff, running a hand down your face frustratedly. “i like seonghwa- in fact…i’m in love with him.”

you see the way that makes him turn his head towards you, jaw clenching and you inhale sharply. “so, it’s either you watch your mouth da-“

“y/n!” his yell echoes the room, and it makes you wince, “i don’t care if you’re in love with him, break it off.”

“you’re my heir, you can’t be around anyone like him.” he retorts, crossing his hands behind his back. “you inherit this mafia whether you like it or not y/n.”

“i-i don’t want to dad.”

“your brother can’t,” he mumbles, and you realize that now, “you don’t have a choice in this, the day i die…everyone will come to kill you.”

you scoff, hands now behind your back. “break everything off with him, it’s what he’d want as well.”

“you don’t know what he wants!” you grit out, your breathing picking its pace up.  “you don’t know what anyone wants! you just know what you want and what you want others to do for you.”

“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you,” he says, eyes flickering from yours to the window just to the left of the room. “not anymore.”

“i don’t believe it.” your voice drops to a whisper, “not until i hear it from him.”

with that you turn around, hand hovering over the doorknob as your hand begins to shake a little. you then look over your shoulder, seeing how your father doesn’t even spare you a glance but instead looks out the window with a grim.

with a slight shake of your head, your fingers grasp with the doorknob. twisting the door open, just enough for light to hit your face that you father speaks again, and you wish he hadn’t.

“either break up with seonghwa or get on the flight tomorrow morning.”

your heart sinks to your stomach, a shiver running down your body. a spite of sorts forming in you against your father, who once was all your world, someone you believed every word off.  

your ears hear the party outside and at the same time hear the pin drop silence in the room behind you, your eyes fall over the happy faces of the guests, and you look back.

hoping your father would laugh and call it all a joke but all you get is nothing, that alone makes tears form in your eyes and before you let it escalate further, you walk out.

the second you walk out of your house, you burst out into tears. finding a bench just to the far right of your place, you take a seat in the cold alone.

your eyes wander off into the sky, hands wiping the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. your body then hunches forward, hands holding your head as you shut your eyes.

“break it off with seonghwa.”

“it’s what he’d want.”

“they’re just low lives.”

as sad as it all was, it couldn’t get more beautiful than it already was. with the way the bench was positioned almost directly in front of the big window that shone and showed the bustling party inside.

the pity party your father hosted yearly, this time for you.

“would you go against my father?”

it almost makes you want to laugh, a privileged story of yours where you fall for the forbidden.

it felt like seonghwa was the forbidden fruit you were never allowed near, yet you chose to be nearby. in some sick twisty way, if felt like a way to get back at your father.

you knew if anyone else had found out about this, they’d laugh and call it a ‘sad story’ and then continue on with their lives. seonghwa was the only one who affected you this much, in a way it opened your eyes.

but even on the inside, you knew no one would accept this. this taboo thing they’d call it, having a relationship between the boss and the worker. and as much as everyone else would hate it, you wouldn’t.

you shake your head, pushing your hair back and leaning back on the bench. leaning your face upwards you find yourself staring at the sky, breeze hitting your face and it makes you smile a little.

you stay still for a while and your mind automatically goes through a reel of memories.

“aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”

“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“call me y/n.”

“yes, ma’am.”

“you’re my bestest friend, you know?”

a sigh leaves your lips, and you reach out for your phone, unlocking it and only to be welcomed with a zoomed in photo of seonghwa standing in his bodyguard outfit.

the image alone makes you laugh through your tears, and you dial seonghwa’s number, biting down on your lip you lean back. lifting the phone to your ear, you close your eyes as the ringing echoes in the silence.

your heart rate picks up as the anticipation of hearing seonghwa’s voice increases and it’s as if right on that moment, your body jolts up when you hear his monotone voice.

“hi! this is seonghwa..” and it goes straight to voicemail.

you bite the inside of your lower lip, bringing the phone down slowly and pressing the red button before placing the phone beside you upside down.

“y/n.”

all you can do is hum, gaze looking ahead into nothing with a blank stare. that is until, footsteps walking through the grass make your ears perk up.

if this was an assassination attempt, it would’ve been successful because you did not move from your spot.

“it’s me, your fav- actually second! favorite person.”

“go away kai.”

he smiles, looking around before taking a seat beside you loudly. arm over your shoulders and a reassuring grin on his face, “what’s up!” he beams, looking all over your face.

“you didn’t like the food inside?” he asks, “they had caviar-“

“kai,” you begin, turning your head towards him and he catches the tiredness on your face. “what would you do…”

“i’d go eat fir- ow!” he whines at the slap you gave his arm, “fine, fine, shoot away.”

“what would you do if…if you were given the option to either break up or leave.”

kai smiles, the one with his cheeky dimples and he leans his head back. “i’d fight.” eyes on the sky.

“kai.”

“i mean i would!” he argues, “if that was my last resort, i’d fight for the one i love, you know?”

“as cliche as it sounds, loving someone isn’t a crime. if you love someone, why are you afraid, haven’t you heard?”

“what?”

“people can fight wars just for love,” he looks down at you, lifting his hand to pat your head twice. “look if love was a driving force, i’d have no license.”

he then turns his body towards you, “you want seonghwa more than you thought you did, so what if he’s not your dad’s ideal choice- he’s your choice isn’t he?”

but what if you’re not seonghwa’s choice?

you nod, “…but dad.”

“you know,” he shuffles on his seat, “for a moment, your dad doesn’t exist. what will stop you from him?”

you share a look with kai, swallowing before looking down. “see? no one, kill your da-“ you smack his arm again with a glare and he pokes his tongue out at you.

“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you…not anymore.”

with a sigh you pat his hand, “thanks kai,” standing up and holding your dress up. “if my dad suddenly dies, i know who did it.”

he says nothing but shoots a finger gun at you with a grin, “i’m,” you point at your house. “gonna go inside.”

“already?” he asks, looking behind you. “you don’t wanna say hi to seonghwa?”

“he’s at the countryside.” you mumble, shoulders slumping and eyes squinting at the window behind.

kai stands up, placing his on your shoulders before turning you around. leaning down and then pointing at the front door, “your boyfriends waiting outside silly.”

your eyes grow wide, heartbeat picking up as you look through the iron rods of the gate to make out a silhouette kicking rocks.

and before you know it, you’re running down the path to him. a smile on your lips growing with every step you take towards him, and when you’re finally nearing the gates, you can make his outline out much better.

he’s dressed in a regular suit, but he looks better than anyone at this party. hair slightly disheveled, tie a little loose and hands holding something.

“hwa!” you yell, catching his attention with your voice and the wave of your hand.

once his eyes fall on you running towards him, his lips crack into a smile. hand lifting automatically to wave back, “y/n!”

“hi,” you pant, stopping just before the gates that you now know is locked. “sorry..the door is locked for some reason.” you say in between catching breaths.

“hi y/n,” his voice alone makes you melt, your eyes look at him and they almost tear up. “you look stunning.” he manages to let out, looking at you up and down he wished the door wasn’t dividing you two, so that he could at least hold you.

“why aren’t you inside?”

you smile, “because…i saw you here.”

he returns a soft smile before shoving something in his pocket and walking closer, but since the gates were closed, he could only walk until his chest hit the gates. instead, he extends his hand out for you to take.

which you do, with an excitement because after the talk with your dad and not seeing seonghwa, something in you wanted his reassurance.

“can we talk?”

your smile falters a little, holding his hand. “o-of course.”

“actually, u-uh, at first.” he fishes through his pocket and pulls a small rectangular box out. you’re unable to see it properly due to the streetlight being away from where you stood and the front gates light that kept flickering. “i got this for you.”

he extends the box towards you from the slim space between the iron rods, you reach out for it with a smile and opening it gently. your mouth parts in a gasp, “oh my god, seonghwa…”

he smiles under the light, “do you like it?”

you nod, looking down at the box you held that had a small silver chain in it. a small ruby red bead as it’s pendant, “i love it! are you kidding?!”

“where…how did you get it?”

he rubs the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours in what you can only is assume is his shyness. “i saw it on my way back here…i was a little late wasn’t i? you’ve bought me plenty of stuff..so it was only right for me to get you something.”

“you didn’t have to,” you mumble, fingers caressing the chain. and then you look up, “what did you want to talk about?”

“ah,” his face drops, eyes meeting the ground.

“i want to talk about us.”

you smile a little, closing the box before giving him your attention. “of course, w…what did you want to talk about?”

“y/n, don’t you think,” he swallows. “we…we should just remain as friends?”

“w-what?” your voice cracks.

his eyes remain glued to the ground, “we shouldn’t be together.”

“it’s dangerous for us to be together.” he mumbles, fingers now wrapping around the rods tighter at the silence. “if anyone found out about us, you could be in danger.”

“did my dad tell you to say all of this?” you ask, feeling your stomach churn. “you don’t have to listen to him seonghwa-“

“no.” he answers, “this is what i think...what we have should’ve never happened in the first place.”

“we are two different people, classes, professions, personalities…everything!”

“why does that matter...” you whisper, “why does it all matter when i don’t care for it, w-why?”

“i’m sorry but,” he looks up, eyes meeting your teary ones and he hears a crack in his voice. “it does matter, when i’m someone you shouldn’t even be friends with, you’re meant for the riches..we aren’t meant to be.”

you feel as if the world has slipped from under your, trying to understand what’s happening around you or what he’s saying because it all sounds unreal.

“i thought that maybe this would last a month,” he whispers, his knuckles growing whiter at the grip he has on. “but it’s only grown ever since.”

“i-i never expected us to go this far, with each day that does by...i can’t help but think we’re not meant to be.” he mumbles, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach, “you’re my boss’s daughter and i’m just worker.”

“seo-“

“i can’t live up to your standards y/n,” your tears that welled up in your eyes are now rolling down your cheeks. “i don’t have a proper house, i don’t even have enough money to keep you happy…”

he looks at you, his own eyes glassy. “i have nothing y/n, i’m nothing.”

“are you done?” you ask, voice just above a whisper and his heart sinks at how frail you sound.

“y/-“

“you’re everything to me.” you whisper, your hand reaching out to hold his, tears streaming down your face. “you’ve been more than anything to me, i don’t care for what you do for living or if you have the money or not, i love you god damnit!”

he clenches his jaw, eyes wide at your words. “you’ve been there for all the times i needed you, you know me more than i know myself! how can you say that..seonghwa please, please don’t listen to my dad.”

he hears you sniffle and looks away, “y/n, please.”

“no seonghwa,” you say, voice shaky and low. “i..i thought you liked me for me.”

“you out of everyone knows how much i hate when my dad controls everything about me,” you inch closer, eyes on him. “so..why? is it because he did everything for you?”

“n-“

“is it because you can’t go against him?”

“i..i,”

“i, what!” you raise your voice, “i don’t believe anything you’re saying!”

“…i like someone else.” he says, voice nothing but a whisper.

“w-what?”

he nods, eyes on the ground. “i like someone else y/n.."

what he says is something you wished he never said, maybe even kept it as a secret. “i don’t trust you.” you bite back, and you wish he’d look you in the eye, just once to say he’s lying. “you’re lying and you know it.”

but instead, he shakes his head, “i’m not lying y/n.” and it makes you swallow the warm, painful lump in your throat.

“you’re not even looking me in the eye,” you whisper, “please don’t do this seonghwa…we’re so good together, you know that too.”

“we were never good together,” he replies, running a hand down his face and you know he’s biting back tears with the way he bites his lips. “i found someone who matches me.”

“someone who isn’t like you.”

you shut your eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching as a pounding headache begins to from in your head with all the tears framing your face.

the wind now feels more colder, it feels as if it’s slapping you in your face. your hair stands moving along it as you listen to his calming voice tell you stuff you’ve never wanted to hear.

“call me y/n.”

“yes ma’am.”

“s-someone who matches me well.”

“i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”

“why?”

“i don’t like to share.”

“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“

“…you found me annoying?” you ask, and he inhales sharply at that. “and loud?”

“go on,” you urge, a small smile on your face despite the obvious. “what else did you find me?”

“i-i didn’t mean it like that-“

“what else is she like?” you swallow, “quieter? has more manners? isn’t childish? hates the riches? hates flowers? is the better version of me?”  

“she’s everything i’m not, am i right?” you ask, hand falling to your sides. when he doesn’t respond, a bitter smile makes its way in your lips. “…hm, then she must be great.”

“y/n,” he whispers, and you take a step back, the action makes his heartbeat ring in his ears. “i didn-“

“didn’t what?” you ask, face holding no expression. “didn’t want to hurt me?”

when he nods you breathe loudly through your nose, a hand running through your hair frustratedly. “you know dad didn’t want me to be with you…” you begin, “i told him otherwise, he said you never wanted anything to do with me..i said i wanted to hear that from yo-“

“i don’t want anything to do with you.” he whispers, and you hear the way he says that. full of nothing, no emotion or anything.

you smile despite the tears blurring your vision, “right.”

it goes quiet for a while, just the two of you standing in silence. him on the other side of your house while you stand behind the gates, it described you two perfectly.

seonghwa and you were two different people who never stood on the same level, everything your dad said echoed in your mind.

“that’s their job.”

“they’re not on our level.”

you want to yell and scream and cry at him, tell him that’s not the case. to beg him that, that’s not the case.

“d-did you mean everything you said?” you ask, in some way hopefully that he’s lying to you, that he’d tell you the truth.

“everything.” he says.

you nod shakily, exhaling before looking over your shoulder. “every…every date meant nothing?”

“n-nothing.”

“every gift?”

he nods.

“and that red pendant?”

he nods again, though, slower.

“okay,” you say, nodding before turning around. back facing him and it’s one thing you thought you’d never do or be driven to a point where you had to.

you begin to walk away from, leaving him standing behind the gates. eyes on the ground and never lifting up, even if he wanted to. hiding his own emotions he turned around, back pressed against the iron gates.

“take a picture with me then…because i want to have a memory of you.“

“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere, i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”

“a memory,” he scoffs to himself, head leaning back on the gates as he closes his eyes. “a stupid memory.”

five years later.

the day you’d come back was one your father truly looked forward too, with the tearful sending that was laced with hatred and anger. he wished for your safety above all, and on top of the above all, he wished for the safety of everyone inside this house.

those who now scurry around cleaning the house meticulously, mumbling to each other in panic, hurry and almost a fearful turn.

it’s like everyone knew when the announcement of you would echo across this building, a wave of silence would follow.

a silence full of fear.

with the way everything happened years ago, they knew you wouldn’t return the same.

maybe that’s what their fear was.

“i told you to not go in her room!” your father yells, a cough following suit.

“y-yes, sir!”

with a temporary grim on his face, he walks around, hands behind his back as he watches the cleaning, redecorating, rebuilding of his house. in his heart, preparing for you to grace his eyes.

“yunho, mingi,” he turns around to face the new set of guards that were recently employed. “have everyone line up by the entrance tomorrow, put on your best suits as well.”

“we will sir,” they both say in sync, bowing to their boss that is until, mingi, the dark blue haired one pops a question. “but why the suits, sir?”

“my daughter is picky.” your father answers, swallowing a little.

they both bow once again, “we’ll keep that in mind, enjoy your time with miss tonight.”

“oh and,” he stops them, “send seonghwa to my office.”

“we’re very excited to have you back, boss is putting on his best for you!” the driver says, looking in the rear mirror to see you staring out the window. “w-“

“put the partition up.”

he stiffens, swallowing before complying and putting the divider up. isolating you to the backseat and him to the driver side, your eyes meet his as the wall levels up before they move out the window.

coincidentally at the moment where your house was in view, your eyes land on the ever so prestige estate that you left years back. before you used to have a love-hate relationship with this place, where you were sheltered and hidden away from everything.

where you experienced your first and last of everything.

now coming back to it felt, empty but comforting. comforting that you were finally home after years of being lost and thrown into the world you never wanted.

when you left, you were devastated because of everything. you never wanted to come back, never wanted face anyone. but you knew you had to come back, so you became the person you never wanted to become in the first place.

opening the door to your maybach, you step out. your heel clacking against the pavement as you do so, grabbing your bag you shut the door behind to look at your house.

a scoff leaves your lips as you look over it, eyes wandering to every corner until they stop at your balcony. and you remember how you used to sneak out nights through there, falling and hurting yourself one second and the other being bombarded with the dogs.

you then turn around to look at the iron gates and your smile drops.

“d-did you mean everything you said?”

“everything.”

“ma’am, your father’s waiting inside.” you snap back to reality and inhale, “this way.”

with every step you take towards the entrance, your heartbeat increases. mentally preparing yourself to see everything and everyone after years.

but when your eyes land at your living room, they widen in disgust as you step inside your place, seeing the outrageous decorations hanging around at your arrival. “w-what’s going on?” you ask the driver who looked at it all with the same look as you.

“i…i don’t know ma’am,” he stutters, and you shake your head, “but your father,” he points to your right. “this way.”

you nod, following behind him while your eyes look all over. as if they’re trying to find someone while you heart wants you to look away in case you do see that someone, but you’re glad you only see a handful of maids working around.

who, at your appearance gasp and bow. “welcome back ma’am!”

to which you’d respond with a small smile, ducking your head down and following the driver who walked you through your own home. what a day it has come you think.

“he’s sitting here for the day,” you smile and bow at the man who now leaves you alone, standing inside your dad’s outdoor study.

“y/n, my dear, you’re back.”

you hear his raspy voice tickle your ear and it’s been years since you’ve heard him, sure the occasional phone calls were present, but you’d hang up whenever you’d hear anyone else in the background.

“father.” you say, hands in front of you. watching him spin on his swivel chair, dressed in hoodie that says something about your brother’s university. you find your cat nestled just beside him on the cat bed and it makes you smile a little.

“y/n,” he lifts his arms in the air, getting up from his beloved chair and walking towards you with a smile.

you manage to smile a little, retuning his hug half-heartedly before he offers you to take a seat, which you do as if you haven’t been on a flight where you sat for hours straight.

“how have you been?” he asks, pouring you tea from the fine china set you know your mom bought at an auction.

“good.” you keep it short, eyes wandering the sunroom study of his. “did you renovate it?”

“you know your mom and her tendencies,” he replies, sliding you the cup which you quietly take.

“where is she?”

“yearly trip to the maldives with her friends,” you nod, impressed by it slightly, maybe even jealous that she gets vacations while you stay here and deal with your dad.

“how have you been y/n,” he asks again, getting comfortable in his chair as you cross your legs, stirring the tea slightly.

“i already answered that, father.”

he nods, “are you still upset?”

“over what?” you sip, eyes falling over him.

“five y-“

“yes,” you respond quickly, “very, actually.”

you hear him sigh as you sip on the tea more, raising your pinky. “right, well, your rooms the same as before.”

you nod, placing the cup down and facing him. “you’ll be looking over the guards tomorrow.”

“for?”

“to have your own private ones,” he says, coughing a little. “like i did. you’re now what i used to be so it only makes sense for you to have everything now.”

“everything?” you tick an eyebrow, “i have a request father.”

“go on.”

“please stop controlling me from now on,” you mumble, “i am capable enough to make my decisions, in fact, i was since the beginning.”

“as you wish.”

“don’t question my decisions,” you stand up, bowing your head. “and for the guards, i don’t need them.”

“y/n.” ah, there it was, that tone he uses on you when he’s about to scold you. “my last decision in your life is for you to have private guards.”

“the last decision of yours ruined me father,” you say, voice monotone. “and i don’t wish for it to happen again.”

“this decision won’t y/n,” he argues, thought his voice doesn’t raise. “you’re going to have new guards, and that is done. tomorrow meet me at the foyer, everyone will be there.”

everyone.

you scoff, “quit it dad.”

your dad didn’t quit, in fact he pestered you into following him out to the foyer. after him basically dragging you out of your room, which one, you barely got to step a foot in and two, barely got you enough sleep.

“can we hurry this up?” you ask, irritated already with waking up early since your jet lag is still so strong. “i need a few hours to myself.”

“hm,” he says, walking a few steps ahead before pausing and you feel your heartbeat begin to accelerate. “everyone, meet my daughter y/n.”

“it’s lovely meeting you ma’am.”

“i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

you watch them all bow in unison, and you give a small, awkward smile. ignoring the obvious faces from the past who look at you with shiny eyes, which almost make you crack.

“as you all know," your father announces and you stand behind him, feeling stares burn through you. “my daughter here requires a private unit to be by her at all times, i have seen your progresses over the month and selected a few of you alr-“

“i’ll decide my own guard’s father,” you interrupt him, making the hall get quiet. “at least, let me do that.”

he gives you a quick look before nodding, and you come to stand in front of the two rows of guards. “being my guard isn’t easy.” you mumble, “and if you’re not up for it, you can leave to your daily routines.”

you look around and when no one moves, you smirk. “alright,” you look to your left, extending your hand out to your dad. “their files.”

“here,” he grins, pointing behind him and you see a mountain of them being held by a worker.

just the sight of it gives you a headache, “forget it.” and you walk down the line.

eyes squinty as everyone straightens up, standing tall and feet apart, hands neatly folded behind their back. your heels click against the marble flooring as you walk down the first line, eyeing every single one of them who either display no expression or get taken aback.

“you,” you say out loud, pointing your hand at the guy with blond hair standing at the very end. “come here.”

“sweetheart, he’s a newbie.” your father whispers to you and your eyes keep looking at the blondie walking to you with a shy smile.

“that’s alright dad,” you reply, eyeing the man up and down. “people can learn along the way.”

but there’s a man standing at the far end of the second line, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw. that’s all too familiar to you, from the black outfit, the sharp undercut and the annoyingly stunning side profile that makes you want to yell.

though he grits his jaw, he catches onto the new you. how you’ve changed, no longer the bright and cheery y/n but a colder, monotone-voiced y/n. and he can’t help but blame himself for it. 

“it’s like you’d be protecting him more than he’d be protecting you.” he whispers, eyes forming into glares as he watches the newbie walk towards you, knowing he isn’t half as qualified to be your guard and knowing you’re outright ignoring him.

“name?”

“choi san.”

you nod, “good, you’re hired.” and you turn around, “any objections, father?”

“y/n-“

“i object.”

your eyes immediately find your dads when you hear the new yet familiar voice, “i do too-“

“my decision is made, choi san-“ you look over your shoulder and you make an eye contact with two tall guys at the end. “and you two twin towers at the end, you’re hired.”

“sir, if i m-“

you lift a hand, “ah, my decision is mine.” and you look back at the front. “anything else?”

“i’d like to object.” this time you hear footsteps coming closer and it makes your heart drop to your stomach.

you feel a presence behind you before you hear that increasingly familiar deep voice.

“the three you have chosen, ma’am.” you shut your eyes at the familiar voice filling in your ears. his presence behind you, with that deep, soothing, and calm voice that now sounds rigid and demanding. “won’t be able to guard you, it’s like you’d be protecting the guard more than they would.”

“the new recruit line is barely halfway through basic training ma’am,” god, that ma’am. “i strongly advise picking someone else as their skill sets are nowhere near qualified to be guards right now.”

you raise an eyebrow and slowly open your eyes, seeing everyone in the lines stiffen up. and for the first time, you turn around to look that voice in the eye and dare question. “and you are?”

jaw locked, hair brushed back with one strand falling over his forehead, eye that darkened ever so slightly, hands neatly behind his back. just being in his presence makes your breathing waver but looking directly in his eyes makes you want to cry.

“park seonghwa.”

“seonghwa,”

“seong! hwa!”

“hwa!”

“seong-seong!”

“and who do you advise i pick?” you ask, voice shaky.

“i have almost a decade of experience working under your father and being a protector of your family...” he inhales, patting his chest and you catch the sight of a black band on his ring finger, and it makes you look away. “and a few of those years were as your own bodyguard, ma’am.”

“and?”

“i believe my skills are far better than anyone here, it’ll only be more advantageous to have me as your bodyguard...” he pauses, looking over your face for a second longer. “again.”

“my bodyguard?” you ask, eyebrows shooting to your forehead. “and yet i was still in life threatening positions with you, wasn’t i?”

“i-“

“zip it.” you look behind him, eyes forming into slits. “you three, office now.”

“yes ma’am.”

“y/n, seonghwa was right!” you hum mindlessly, playing with the food on your plate.

“i agree.” you roll your eyes at kai’s appearance, sitting on the big dining table with you and your dad and two cooks at the far end.

you then turn to your left, “you’re suddenly praising him?” you pique, looking down at your dad with a suspicious look. “wasn’t he your low life?”

“you called him a low life!?” kai yells, his plate clacking as he stood up and you wave him off.

your dad grows quiet at that, “…i didn’t mean to say that y/n.”

you stop midway, “really?” you ask, “i don’t trust you.”

“there’s a lot of things i regret doing y/n,” he says, placing his fork and knife down. “but i had reasons for it.”

“and what were they?”

you dad looks at kai and he takes the memo to leave, although, a little late, but he does. leaving you and him alone in the room, him at to your left. just the talk with him has a sinking feeling growing in your stomach, jaw clenching and unclenching before exhaling.  

“for you to take over his family, you needed no distractions.” he begins, hands folding in front of him. “and if you kept them, my family would’ve been gone.”

“distractions?” you mock. "sending me to your fucking training academies where they beat the shit out of you? that? that’ll help me take care of this family?”

“as bad as it sounds, it works y/n.” he explains, looking over your face for a few moments and seeing a small scar under your eye and dread washes over him. “i was sent there, it worked for me- i had to send you there.”

“or you’d send your youngest,” you bite back, a slight tick in your jaw. “but i wouldn’t have let that happen. even if i have stated how rotten your business is and how much i hate it, i couldn’t escape it.”

no matter how much you’d want to blame your father for everything, you knew he did it for you. but you still have bitter feelings about the way he did it all, yet you’re unable to tell him. being rasied in this environment, you were bound to do this. 

“i still can’t and will not drag him in it,” you refer to your sibling, because he gets scared shitless from the sight of ladybugs. you couldn’t possibly see him fighting for his life. “he’ll never be involved in this business, no one after me will take this place.”

“i will not operate this mafia like you did,” he nods, “if i have the chance to end this, i will and you will not stop me.”

“i won’t.”

“i want to end this.” you mumble, jaw relaxing and eyes falling over your father who looks at you with regret, maybe even shame if you look in too deeply. “i will end this mafia, i want a normal life.”

“you wouldn’t have gone if i never did that y/n..” you scoff. 

“i’m sorry for all that y/n,” he mumbles, placing his hand on top of yours. “there is nothing i can say but sorry, if i hadn’t done this, i would’ve lost you all.”

“and to keep you, my family alive.” he taps your hand twice, "i can do anything.”

“ev-“

“even send you there, yes.”

a scoff leaves your lips, “that’s a really shitty excuse, dad.”

he smiles and for the first time since you’ve arrived it feels genuine, “well now you can beat me up for it, pow pow!”

“stop, ew.” you cringe, and he chuckles, drowning down water as you shake your head.

“and what about seonghwa,” he asks the second his glass touches the table.

“nothing about him.” your tone is dismissive, and he picks up on it, growing a little because seeing this side of you, he can’t help but blame himself for that.

but he knows if anyone was to bring your old side back, it’ll only be in the hands of seonghwa. who, he knew, would give him trouble one day.

“you’re not going to meet him or talk to him?” the elder presses further, mind spewing up some way to get you two to talk or exchange a hi’s or hello’s or how was your days.

“no.” you respond, placing the cutlery down and promptly being reminded of that ring on his finger.

“i like someone else.”

“he offered to be your guard again,” you hum, eyes on the plate with an empty expression. “i agree with him, he is qualified and has been  your bodyguard before too-“

“dad,” you interrupt, pushing your chair back and tapping your feet on the ground. “you know exactly what happened, what you did and how it went down.”

“but you should talk to him,” he says, eyes following you. “he’s…he’s got a lot to say-“

“i’m not interested in talking to him or having him as my bodyguard again.”

and with that you take your leave, walking out the door with shaky hands and when you begin to walk down the hallway. you abruptly stop at the scene of seonghwa and kai standing in front of you, their heads turning to you in sync.

“y/n.”

“ma’am.”

“i told you my name’s y/n.”

“goodnight.” you mumble, eyes looking everywhere else but the larger man in a suit.

“y/n!” kai calls out, a small smile on his face as he watches you try and escape this situation knowing full well that’s the last thing you’d want.

“how about,” he looks at seonghwa, who’s eyes never leave you even if you don’t look at him. “you two old friends catch up?”

“uh, kai i-i have to leave,” you stated, giving kai a nasty glare. “i’m tired and i need sleep.”

“just ten minutes.”

you freeze at his voice, calm yet eager. “can we talk just for ten minutes?”

kai gives you an encouraging smile and you turn to him, stopping when your gazes meet.

his eyes still looked the same, wide, shiny, and endearing. the ones that still made you want to run in his arms, stare into for hours while he holds you to his chest and nuzzles into you.

“i..i don’t have time right now,” you answer, looking at kai tight smile. “tomorrow, let’s do that tomorrow.

you knew you shouldn’t have come back because all you see is seonghwa everywhere, you had hoped he quit his job, so you didn’t have to face him, and he didn’t have to work under your dad.  

every time you walk down a hallway, you’re always greeted with him walking past you. and it reminds you of all the times you had been with him, whether it be chasing him down hallways or to walk behind him whining something about the defense lesson.

at that time, you would’ve never thought any of this could be possible, he didn’t think it would be either.

he didn’t think not seeing you every day for the past five years would hurt him as much as it did, or how not seeing or hearing you would become a routine he’d have to force himself to fit in.

so, when he was called in by your father in his office, the first thing he remembers hearing is. “you better up your trainings seonghwa.”

and he knew you were returning.

as happy and overjoyed he was to see you, he was equally desperate to tell you the truth. but he knew you’d never want to see him, that’s what terrified him. to become nothing but a memory to you, a memory who never got to explain itself.

So, he interrupted your hiring procedure or whatever that was, outing himself as the right person to guard you for as long as he can. after all, he was meant to be your right-hand man at all times.

not only did he do that so that you’d look at him in the eye or speak to him or reject his duties, but he did it because he couldn’t imagine anyone else besides him to stand by you.

and maybe get a chance to explain himself, but all he’s got his avoided stares, small talks, dismissing him and pretending he doesn’t exist.

as much as it breaks him, he knows he deserves it. all the times you’ve ignored him, he can’t be upset because at least, you’re there, at least, you’re in front of his eyes.

but maybe his hopes of reconciling with you won’t come true since you’ve dismissed any of his advances of him doing his duty or having a civil conversation with him.

“yunho, where’s the car?” you ask with a raised eyebrow, tapping your feet on the pavement outside your house.

“i-i, it should be here ma’am!”

“we’ve been waiting for half an hour, jeong yunho.” you grit, “i have places to be and you had one job to do, right?”

yunho bows down quickly, “i’m so sorry, this all is new to me so i got the wrong car-“

but he’s interrupted by the loud honking of a black range rover pulling into the roundabout before he can explain himself, catching you off-guard. “is that the one you got?” you ask, eyes on the car that comes to stop in front of you.

“n-no, ma’am.”

and before you’re about to respond, the front door to the car opens and out comes seonghwa with his dark sunglasses, prim and proper outfit, and a smile you’ve missed.

“the car, ma’am.” he says with a bow of his head, and you swallow, giving yunho a look who only returns a small smile.

“i’ll take the other one,” you say, taking a few steps away from the two but only to be stopped by seonghwa’s loud voice.

“ma’am, please.” your grip your bag tighter at that. “you’ll be late for your meeting, please take the car.”

he watched your back turn to him and swallowed, head down and hands behind his back. “i’ll let yunho driv-“

“i hope you know the address.” he hears you say, walking past him and he pauses for a second. eyes blinking repeatedly at what he heard that is until yunho pats his chest with a cheeky smile and a wink.

“i-i do!”

when you told seonghwa you’d sit down and have a talk with him, you didn’t expect yourself to be this nervous to be in his presence. it felt as if every emotion you had felt in the past five years hit you like a truck.

with the constant messages from kai encouraging you by sending emojis and memes and gifs that only made you want to hide from seonghwa.  

So, standing outside the door to where he stood made butterflies sprout in your stomach, it felt as if you were seeing him again for the first time.

your hand on the doorknob stays still for a while before you inhale and twist it, opening the door and immediately you’re faced with seonghwa standing at the far side of the room, back facing the door while he looks out the balcony.

you swallow before entering, closing the door behind before making your way towards him. and it’s as if your memory became a film, it played out the moments you had with him.

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on. i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

“my names y/n not ma’am!”

“you know they should keep you in museums.”

“you’re cute.”

“you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.”

“i like someone els-“

“y/n.”

you snap out of your thoughts, gaze falling on him with a soft smile. “seonghwa.”

his lips pull into a smile, and he gestures for you to take a seat at the couch set in front of him, you nod and take a seat. he follows suit and sits opposite you.

for the first few minutes, none of you know what to say. you’re looking everywhere but him but he’s looking at you as if you’re the only person to ever walk this earth.

he looks at you with fond stare, one that studies you with a soft look. he fiddles with his fingers and inhales before finally speaking. “h-how are you?”

your heart skips a beat, “good.”

“it’s raining,” he points, and you nod. “your favoutite.”

“i hate the rain.” you respond, and he stops.

“b-but you loved rain?”

you grit your jaw, “i loved a lot of things.” you answer, alluding to the past.

“i’m sorry.” he says right after, head down and eyes shut. “i’ve been wanting to apologize for everything that happened.”

“for what?” you ask, obviously knowing exactly what happened but you want him to say it to you.

he lifts his head up a little and you spot the way the glint in his eyes change for a split second, embarrassment or even maybe even shame but definitely remorse.

“i found someone who matches me.”

“someone who isn’t like you.”

“for dumping me?” you ask, voice shaky and eyes slightly teary. “or saying all of that with no thought of how it’ll affect me?”

“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“

“…you found me annoying? and loud?”

“i..” he begins, hands curling into fists as he inhales and exhales. “i want to apologize for pushing you away the way i did, i..i didn’t mean anything i said that day y/n please trust me-“

“you weren’t held on gunpoint seonghwa,” you whisper, “you could’ve not said anything.”

“i was told to break it off with you.” he swallows, and you look down. “so that you’d leave.”

he continues, “when…when you were at my place, your dad had come to meet me and i never told you about it.”

“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”

“y-yes sir.” he says, looking over his shoulder and then on the ground before his eyes widen at the sight of your shoes beside his.

nevertheless, he follows your father outside his complex. following the shorter man who’s stride rivaled power, someone who he always respected above anyone else.

“do you like my daughter, seonghwa?”

his head snaps up, “what?”

“you heard me,” his boss says, “are you dating her?“

when he gave no response, your father already knew. with the way his men are everywhere, this would’ve never slipped past him. how could it? you two went out to places every week with each other, in areas where only sketchy people would be found. it’s no wonder he knows.

“i’m extremely sorry sir,” he says, “y-you can fire me or cut my hands like you said..but i do like your daughter, quite a lot sir.”

“how much should i pay you to break it off then?”

his lips part in surprise, “s-sir?”

“a million or a two? or a blank check?”

“i..i’m sorry but i can’t accept any of that sir.” he replies, a frown on his face that he can’t hide. “you’ve known me since i was a child, i’m not attached to money like that— i have never been.”

“i have always trusted and respected your decisions but…as much as i hate to disrespect you..” he says, “i will not break the relationship i have with your daughter, sir.”

“i will fire you.”

he then stands tall, “then please do so.”

“yet you still did it.” he hears you whisper, and he swears he heard a crack of his heart. "you still followed him; you couldn’t go against him no matter seonghwa!“

“tell her you want nothing to do with her, seonghwa.” he says. “that’s the only way she’d leave.”

“sir, that’s-“

“i know, but i have no option.” He looks down, “i can’t let her fall behind because of you.”

“i wanted you to!” you burst out, catching him by surprise. “i thought at least you’d be on my side! we could’ve done it together; we could’ve gone against him together!”

you then stand up, running a hand down your face irritatedly. “gosh this is so stupid, it wasn’t even real right?” you ask, glancing at his hunched figure and your eyes go straight to his hands and spit that ring. “i wanted it to be so real, because i loved you seonghwa.”

“it was a silly little fling,” you whisper, “right? where we just hide behind the doors and do our thing and then break it off because you found someone else!”

you nod, “right, that’s what it was…but i loved you..and you didn’t, and that’s what hurt me the most.”

“y/n…”

“call me ma’am.” you whisper, nodding to yourself and taking a few steps back.

“i didn’t care that you called me loud or annoying.. or the class difference between us.” he lifts his head up, seeing you take slow steps back away from him and for a second it hits him. “i wanted you to be with me..despite what my father had told you.”

“i knew he’d come to ask you all of this,” he hears you say, “which is why i kept telling you to not listen to him, to maybe..just maybe go against him for once and break your good boy image.”

“i just wanted to have you.”

it hits him that he’s about to lose you again, for the second time.

and it feels so real that his heart drops when you turn your back to him.

“i quit.”

you stop, your sniffles ringing the room as you use the back of your hand to wipe your tears away.

“the next day after we split,” you shut your eyes, “i quit working under your dad, in fact, me, hongjoong, yeosang and wooyoung all did.”

“what is this seonghwa?”

“my resignation, sir.” he announced, bowing at his waist. “it’s been a pleasure working for you but it’s time i quit.“

“i couldn’t live like that,” he mumbles, rising to his feet and taking a few steps closer to you. Eyes softening and heart sinking. “so right after i quit, i went to look for you.”

“but i left that same night.”

“but you left.”

“i didn’t know until your dad told me, how you were sent away for god knows how long.” he whispers, voice cracking and you hear him sniffle. “and i didn’t know when you’d come back…how you’d be like or if you’d even want to look at me.”

“if you quit working, why are you still here?” you ask, heart beating fast and brain spiralling.

“..because i was told you’ll be coming back.” his whispers tug at your heart, “and i couldn’t afford to miss it. i couldn’t let someone else take my spot.”

“i spent the last five years, trying to reach out to you through mails but i didn’t know your address.” he explains, “i looked for your number but you changed it, i kept looking and looking but then i realized wherever you were, you’d be safer there than here.”

“i wanted you to be safe at the end of the day,” he takes a few steps closer until his front hits your back. “even if it meant breaking up with you.”

“because i loved you,” he says, voice a whisper but a gentle one. his hand slowly reaches for yours from the back, “..and have for the past five years and still counting.”

“you may have said it first,” he holds your hand gently, his larger palm fitting with yours perfectly. “but i wish i did, so at least you wouldn’t hate me.”

“i don’t hate you,” you sigh.

“but what’s the point of it all now?” you ask, turning around to look at his tear-stained face. you reach out for his hand and lift it up beside your face, pointing at his finger. “you’re already married.”

“all of this..” you shake his hand all while he stares at you with wide eyes, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”

he shakes his head, “it does y/n, you’re m-“

“are you going to cheat on your wife now?” you ask, eyes blown wide despite the tears welling up in them. “you’re married and yet you’re here professing your love for me while she wai-“

“-y/n.”

“no!” you stop him, letting go of his hand to take a step back. “are you really go-“

“y/n,” he stammers, trying to hold onto your escaping hand. “y/n, y/n, listen to me-“

“i’m not going to do this seonghwa,” you stumble back, hands in the air and eyes on the ground.

but before you have the chance to take another step back or say anything else. his hand reaches out to grab you by the wrist, abruptly pulling you to him.

a squeak leaves your lips when you’re jerked forward, your face meeting his chest and his hands wrapping around your waist, face buried in your neck.

“i’m not married,” he whispers, and your hands fall to your sides, a tired sigh leaves you, closing your eyes and burying yourself in his chest.

“what about that ring then?” you ask, voice dropping to lower octave.

he smiles and you can hear it, “you don’t remember when we bought matching rings at that diner?”

your face drops at that memory, “you still- that’s that?!” he nods and holds you closer.

“i had it on the past five years,” he mumbles, tapping your back twice with a smile that almost heals you.

“you’re crazy.”

he hums, and it’s one of those low and deep ones. “says you.”

his perfume wafts in your nose and for a second you find yourself losing in him. having have finally held him after years and feeling the comfort you missed, your hands lift to wrap them around his waist.

“you once asked me if i would go against your father,” he mumbles, “it took me a while to answer you but, yes, I can.”

“i never was, no one existed that i could match with better than you.” his deep low voice that causes your stomach to swoop.

“what about the one you told me about years back?” you mumble, pulling back to hold his stare.

“he shakes his head, and you slap his chest with a frown, “you lied over that too?!”

“i’m sorry!” he’s quick to say, worry written all over his face.

but before he continues the door the room bursts open, making the two of you jump and snap your heads back with wide eyes.

“t-that was us! all of it!” wooyoung yells, hands in the air while yeosang holds him back.

“he’s right!” hongjoong screams from the back, hands curled into fists as if ready to fight someone. “we did it for him! don’t blame him!”

“sorry i was watching a show and the inspo hit!”

“y-you guys are here too?!” you say out loud, turning around fully to spot them properly.

it feels like a deja vu, from the very first time you met them to now.

how all of them are still the same, though a little older and definitely not working under your father. more free and smiley and loud and chaotic than before.

seonghwa’s hands leave your waist and he comes to stand by you, one hand sticking in his pocket while his gaze flickers between you and the three standing up front.

a soft smile on his lips before he looks at the trio in front of him, shaking his head and sheepishly coming to hold your hand in his. caressing the top of it with his thumb gently, the action making you look at him.

“i hate you,” you whisper but the smile on your face says the opposite.

“hey, you all.” seonghwa yells from beside you, head noticing them to turn around and look away. it’s not an action they get at first, but when they do their eyes widen and lift up their thumbs.

“what wh-“

“wooyoung.”

and when they do, seonghwa spins you to him and locks his lips with yours immediately. surprising you and muffling your gasp with his lips, arms snaking around you, and he holds you impossibly close to him. as if you’d vanish in thin air.

your hands fly from your sides to his face, cupping his softer cheeks and smiling against the kiss all while your eyes drop fat tears, he can’t help but chuckle at in between the kiss. whispering ‘i’m sorry’s’ between the kiss while you nodded. 

he pulls back to leans his forehead on yours, staring at you with a look that made you look away. “do you still hate me?”

you nod as he wipes the water around your eyes. “maybe a little less than two minutes ago.”

he ticks an eyebrow up, “oh?”

“mhm,” you smile.

he leans closer so that the tips of your noses touch. "how about now?”

“a point five difference maybe?” he smirks.

“can we look now?”

“look where?”

you and seonghwa never pushed each other so fast at that new voice joining all of you, you recognize it as your fathers, and he recognizes it as terror.

“s-sir!”

“dad!”

“good? morning?” he says, face twisted in confusion as every single one of you try to find the words to speak.

"it’s actually nighttime sir,” wooyoung informs, “so, you should say good night.”

you bite a laugh back at the way your dad frowns and how wooyoung immediately gets on his knees to apologize.

and you find yourself leaning on seonghwa, linking your arm with his and he can’t help but break out into a wide smile. his heart fluttering at the sight of it all, you beside him and wooyoung getting disciplined.

and then your dad turns to you two, before you’d move away from seonghwa but now you stay. keeping the stare with your dad who looks at the way you two stood with a small smile, “y/n, hasn’t seonghwa told you yet?”

your eyebrows pull together at that, “tell me what?” looking at seonghwa. 

“ah, right.”

at that, seonghwa let’s go of your hand. stepping back and standing tall, a small smirk on his face before he bends at his waist to bow at you.

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard,” he looks up and winks, “it’s nice to be back.”

taglist : @hybed​ ;;  @idiomaticpunk ;; @marsophilia ;;@seonghwanotes​ ;;  @hwazoned ;; @xirenex​ ;; @bestboiericsohn ;; @yunhosleftpinky​ ;;  @pshwaa​ ;;  @diorwoo ;; @in-san-ity ;; @lurniere  ;; @cupcakes-n-coffee ;; @tohokuu ;; @cityhrj​ ;;  @serialee ;; @hhj-00 ;; @rielleluvs​ ;;  @todorokiskitten ;; @talkbykhalid ;; @treasure-hwa ;; @atinyteez ;; @luvhaos ;;  @thiccseokmin​ ;; @dreamycomets ;; @vitaminkel-c ;; @rdiamond2727​ ;;  @ot7girl18 ;; @sanshineeeeee ;; @enivivs ;; @littleninja97 ;; @takoyakibinnie​ ;;  @hwaist ;; @sweetteez ;; @rainteez02 ;; @jeongwangjessmina​ ;; @hongism​ ;;  @atozfic​ ;;  @astrojoong ;; @woahhwa

unable to tag : @tiny-verse-writes ;; @kamikazemission ;; @mistateez ;; @utopiakys @etherealbyeol ;; @banana-binbin ;; @lynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns ;; @lolalee24 ;; @meowsannie ;; @h3h3tm0n ;; @sxnhwajoong

#im telling u shinestar era strong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez fics #ateez #seonghwa fics #ateez seonghwa #ateez smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #seonghwa angst #seonghwa x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez bodyguard au #seonghwa bodyguard au #seonghwa mafia #ateez oneshot #baekhvuns works

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Physically Unable To Love

Jiyan x Reader

Notes: Reader based off of oc (written with reader inserts), gn reader, they/them used, gnc Rover (uses any pronoun), Chixia being the worst wingwoman, extreme romantic pining, unresolved feelings, possible ooc Chixia (I'm going off of vibes from what I've played)

Yet again this man has invaded my head and so I shall write more. Also title is more dramatic then what's actually written lmao.

-

"Come on! It can't be that hard to just ask him on a date!" Chixia exclaimed, frustration evident on her features as she stared at the person across from her. "The worst he can say is no, [Y/n]!"

"And that's the problem! I can't handle a no!" They yelled back, keeping their hands gripping their hair. "I'm self aware enough to know that! It's better if I just get over-"

"Oh hey there he is." Rover casually announced, looking over in the direction of where the general was. [Y/n] was quick to slam their head into the table, cursing as the pain flooded their system.

"Now's your chance!"

"Chixia no-"

"Hey General!! Over here!! We have room if you need a table to sit at!" The redhead called out excitedly, gaining the attention of the man. He carefully walks over, studying [Y/n] who refused to put their head up in greeting.

"Sorry if I'm barging in."

"Not at all." Rover quickly replied, nudging his elbow into [Y/n]'s side. They hissed, glaring at them before sighing as they lifted their head to meet Jiyan's eyes.

"You're fine, General."

"You alright? Are you having one of those moments again?" He asked, sitting down across from them. His eyes studied their tense muscles, brows furrowed in concern. "If you want I can-"

"I'm fine!" [Y/n] interrupted, raising their voice a bit. They flinched once they felt eyes of the other patrons on them, gently resting their head on the table again. "You don't need to do that thing again."

"That thing again?" Both Chixia and Rover asked, their eyes moving back and forth between the two. [Y/n]'s cheeks burned at the memory, practically being cuddled by the general when they grew overwhelmed one evening. They didn't want to remember it, for it only made their heartbeat even more rapid around the man.

"Anyway!" They quickly said, moving the conversation along. "It's a rarity to see you in the city Jiyan! Means times are a bit more peaceful huh?"

"Yes, there's not as many Tacet Discords showing up lately. It's good for the soldiers morale too, since many weren't able to see their families during the threat of the Threnodian's rewakening." The conversation then drifted off, with [Y/n] barely interacting with Jiyan. Chixia and Rover both tried to make them join, but it was to no avail. After some time the general said his farewells and left the group.

"What was that?!" Chixia yelled. "You literally only talked to him like once!"

"Well sorry! Once the food got brought in I suddenly grew overwhelmed!"

"What she means," Rover began, placing her hand on the redhead's. "Is that we just want to help with you-"

"Look I just can't!" They screamed, slamming their hands on tbe table. They flinched once everyone around them grew quiet, sitting back down. "It's not that simple guys. I just...I'm not ready to hear a rejection okay?"

"And what makes you so sure it will be a rejection?" The dark haired person asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Because why wouldn't it be? Even if it's not because he doesn't see me in that way, which he totally doesn't by the way, it's because he's too busy with being a general. I know he would just see himself as a burden like I do with myself and think a rejection is better than a potentially dead partner!"

The two look at them in silence, digesting their words.

"You really thought about it that much?" Chixia asked softly, narrowing her eyes in concern. "I mean I'm sure-"

"I know you're trying to help, but please. Just let me...get over it. It's better than experiencing heartbreak. Besides I have my own as to why I can't be in a relationship." [Y/n] smiled sadly. "I have to find some way back home to my world after all."

#wuwa x reader #wuthering waves #wuthering waves x reader #jiyan x reader #jiyan x oc #kind of rushed the ending #only because I just wanted it done lol

[thebadboyfanclub]

Will You Teach Me? (Jacaerys x Reader)

Oh I’m on fire! Ok so I think I’m getting my groove back and I’m actually really proud of this one cause it’s been a while since I’ve written something that is so fluff and I hope you guys enjoy it too!

-

(Y/n) Starks name and legend were one that the starks would always bring up when it came to honor and loyalty, the first of their house to have the crown of the seven kingdoms placed on her head, she was two years older than her lord husband Jacaerys and excellent at the art of archery, “the kind she-wolf” was the name that the realm bestowed to her.

Princess (y/n) was the one that had urged Rhaenyra to protect Jacaerys claim, the greens might have been able to digest their defeat but like snakes (y/n) had guessed that they were just waiting for their turn, raising banners to come and swear to protect Jacaerys claim and promising her daughter to the Reach, her eldest son to the daughter of Baela Velaryon and her youngest son to the daughter of the lord of Arryn, ensuring that everyone else beneath them would follow.

The mutual respect and love Queen Rhaenyra shared with Lady Stark was well known in history, they were many witnesses on the morrow that (y/n) brought her second born child to present it to the queen and informed her that the couple has decided to name her Rhaenyra, with tears in her eyes the queen hugged her son and good daughter and thanked them for such a generous gift.

As Princess Rhaenyra was hastily made queen before her dearest father passed, he had commanded to let her take the throne so he could watch his firstborn rule better than he ever could, in reality, he feared what would happen if he passed, as much as he trusted Otto with certain affairs the matter of Rhaenyras realm was delicate and having a queen for the very first time had to be handled with utmost care.

The lady (y/n) had attended the coronation along with her brother Cregan, she had bowed before the new queen with a smile of admiration on her lips, Rhaenyra had seen the girl before, she was a little girl back then but she could recall how well she and Jacaerys had played in the garden, back then (y/n) was wearing a light pink dress that had gotten caught on some type of thorn and Jacaerys patiently worked around the fabric to free her.

“It is an honor to stand before you, my queen”

“You are very sweet, you have grown so much since we saw you last, you are already so beautiful”

“I am trying to catch up to our queen I suppose”

“I hope you remember my son, Prince Jacaerys”

“How could I forget?”

It was the first time that (y/n) broke eye contact and looked at the floor, her cheeks were already a tad rosy and after Jacaerys took a step towards her it grew closer to the color of a tomato. Jacaerys cleared his throat before he took the lady’s hand and placed a subtle kiss on her knuckles.

“My lady”

That was when Queen Rhaenyras's eyes met with Cregans and they both nodded in unison, any person with good vision could see what was happening here, the pair had grown into their comely selves and with brave heart, still, the jitters of the first heartbeat took them over like a storm.

“It is not often that we have the pleasure to have the guardians of the north in our court, may I suggest you stay for another morrow or two”

“I am afraid I must go back and tend to my duties, however, my sister can stay, if that is something that she wishes”

“Can I brother?”

“It is settled then, Jacaerys please escort the lady to all of our available chambers, let her have her pick”

“You are so generous my queen, I must thank you”

(Y/n) bowed again before mother and son, Jacaerys only turned his gaze to his mother and closed his eyes briefly, he mustn’t say anything else, a mother knows when her son is compelled by the eyes and the smile of a woman.

“Go now”

“Right away, my queen”

Jacaerys jested and instinctively took (y/n) 's hand to scurry away, as they walked away as fast as they could without causing trouble Cregan and Rhaenyra watched disappear to the crowd, Cregan adored his youngest sister and Rhaenyra held such undeniable love for her eldest son, the first fruit of her love with Ser Harwin.

“You promise to take care of her?”

“As she was my own, well technically she will be my good daughter, do you promise that she won’t murder my son in his sleep?”

“Unfortunately I cannot, one time she threw a rock at the back of my horse so I would be knocked off because she wanted it”

“Then she will make the perfect queen”

-

(Y/n) had been nervous to attend supper with the Targaryens, her betrothal with Prince Jacaerys had just been announced and so many decisions had to be made, she must be perfect so she can honor her house.

“It is such a blessed day, my grandson is to be married to the lady Stark, a wonderful match that will bond our houses for reigns to come, let us drink to love”

“You do know how the act is done right? Do not sweat I shall be there to watch it all happen I can even happily replace you if you cannot rise to the occasion”

“You can be as nasty to me as you wish,  but hold your tongue in front of my betrothed”

(Y/n) was thankful for the hushed lash back of Jacaerys, Prince Aegon thought himself to be clever with such remarks ever since she stepped foot at court, his gawking made her uncomfortable and now she found herself squeamish of such behavior.

(Y/n) turned her attention to Jacaerys and mouthed a thank you to which Jacaerys responded with a smile and reached for her hand for the gentlest of touches, as the morrows passed the couple was growing their bond little by little, learning new things about one another and spending hours talking about anything they could think about.

As the supper went on smoothly, laughter and chatter filled the room, Jacaerys had left (y/n) side for only a moment so he could entertain his niece Heleana, a timid girl who seemed to keep to her own, (y/n) did not mind, on the contrary, she watched as they messed around and danced, all she could see was how endearing her betrothed prince was.

“I would also like to raise a toast”

“Aemond” Alicent pleaded

“To the health of my nephew Jacaerys, may he grow old and wise in his wedlock, and to the lady of the hour, (y/n), it is not common for such beast as a wolf to have the honor to exist next to a dragon”

“You are vile”

“Why? ‘‘Twas only a compliment, I thought starts took pride in being loyal dogs to their master”

That was enough for Jacaerys to lash out like never before, landing a punch to the eyed prince's face and Aemond responding with a shove, everything else happened in a blink of an eye and Aegon had pushed Lucerys head on the table, (y/n) felt like this was the best time to finally have a go at him and with all her might shoved the silver head drunken fool off the poor boy, when he took a step to attack her (y/n) grabbed a knife that was laying on the table and pointed it at Aegon.

“Come on you low life, let us have it then”

“Wait! Wait”

Daemon was heard in close range, causing the ruckus to stop, (y/n) remained still, she did not trust Aegon enough to give up, a man of his…ways would probably not play fair enough for her to give up her weapon or turn her back on him.

“Go to your chambers, all of you”

Still, (y/n) waited. Aegon eyes were fixated on her with an evil grin, (y/n) held on to appear poised and courageous but her breath was ragged and uneven, she was almost shaking from the sudden rush of emotions, it was only when queen Rhaenyra stuck her hand out with the palm up towards the princess that (y/n) glanced away from him.

“(Y/n)”

Her tone was steady and warning, yet with a touch of softness to reassure her that (y/n) would be safe if she gave away her knife. (Y/n) exhaled deeply and let the knife rest on Rhaenyras hand, at that moment it was when she heard footsteps and turned just in time to watch Jacaerys walk out of the room.

“Go on”

Rhaenyra could read the concern on the lady's face like an open book, (y/n) cared for her son and that brought her comfort, she was ready to harm a prince to protect her good brother, and loyalty ran through her veins, a trait that many lacked.

(Y/n) curtsied swiftly and then shuffled away, as she went up the stairs one after the other she thought over what she shall do, mayhaps the prince wished for some time alone, but on the other side, the comfort one gets from a pair of arms wrapped around you is the remedy to most wounds.

For a few moments, the lady paced in front of his door like she was guarding it until a young chambermaid approached with a wooden bucket.

“My lady, are you alright?”

“Yes I am fine, what is that?”

“The prince has requested more hot water for his bath”

“Oh, give it to me”

“My lady, are you sure”

“Do not fret over it, you may go”

The young girl handed the bucket over and walked away, without thinking over it she knocked on the door a few times only to be met with a man this time.

“My lady, the prince is bathing”

“I am aware, you may go as well”

“My lady-“

“What is it Alfred?”

Jacaerys questioned from inside. (Y/n) did not allow herself to think over this, she stepped into the room and was met with Jacaerys sitting in a tub, his arms spread on the side and the water was so hot that steam came out of it.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat as she stood there, bucket in hand and her lips merely moved halfway up to show some type of an extremely awkward smile.

“Leave us”

Jacaerys simply said. (Y/n) found it quite interesting that when they talked to her they questioned her motives, but for Jacaerys it only took two words for them to literally disappear. As the door closed behind silence overtook them, (y/n) walked closer and leaned down very slightly so she could tilt the bucket over and let the water run without splashing.

“Thank you”

“The water might burn your skin off”

“It helps after sword practice, it is often that my legs ache”

“May I?”

She interrupted him whilst she showed him the sponge, insinuating if she was allowed to scrub him with it. Jacaerys nodded and (y/n) sat on her knees before she dunked the sponge in the soap and let it touch the prince's skin.

Jacaerys skin glistened under the candlelight, (y/n) was holding on to any decency she had to not drool over the prince, as the muscles on his chest seemed to be carved onto him the lady guessed what the rest of his body looked like, his arms also had the appearance like they were drawn to perfection, as the sponge was the only thing that kept her from gracing his skin she let her mind run off to the idea of what it would feel like when he would pull her close.

“Thank you, for defending me”

“You are to be my lady wife, I will always be there to defend you, my nephew had it coming, I should be the one thanking you for protecting my brother”

“As much as I do not wish to see Lucerys get hurt a part of my motive was that I have been praying for a time were I can put my hands on Aegon”

Jacaerys cackled at the little remark of hers, seeing her wash over his skin so gently and how her eyes sparkled was something he did not know he needed, as the lady rose and took a cup that was there she then let her hand touch the top of his forehead before she let the water run on his long hair.

“You are far more careful than the servants”

“I shall hope so, when the time comes I wish for us to not need them for such affairs”

“Is that your way of admitting you’ve been dreaming of seeing me in such a state?”

“No, no my prince, I would”

“You are quite the sight when you get flustered do you know that”

A devilish snicker escaped Jacaerys lips while (y/n) placed her hands on her hips in defense while she pouted, Jacaerys could watch her furrowed eyebrows with pursed lips all day, like a child that was denied cake.

“Ah my eye”

“That is what you get”

(Y/n) reported in triumph after she let the soapy water run over his eyes causing the sting that everyone hates, Jacaerys shook his head in defeat in the meantime he let his head hang back and relaxed his shoulders, as he recalled her childish demeanor he caught himself thinking about having a daughter, dark long hair and piercing eyes that would pout just like her mother, oh how whipped would he be for that little girl.

“If I’m being frank I always wondered what it would be like to run a brush over those locks”

“I like to braid my hair before I sleep, my mother used to say it helped with keeping it neat, she would always make one thick braid in the middle of my head”

“Seems simple enough, will you teach me?”

“Gladly”

Instinctively (y/n) bends down and lets a kiss in the middle of the princess's head. The second she did it her eyes went as wide as they could, her torso snapped straight back and her hand went up to her mouth to hide her gaping lips.

Jacaerys was also taken aback and had followed her on the small gasp of surprise but seeing her so shocked over such a simple matter made him giggle once again, her cheeks turning rosy as he continued to laugh, seeing her in such distress over such a small act was rather amusing.

(y/n) always strived to portray herself as strong and untouchable by anything, being able to view her acting so delicate and sweet made him feel special like he was being let in on this secret world of hers, it made Jacaerys wonder what else would he be able to discover as the years would progress.

“I apologize, I should go”

“No, what is the problem? It was only a kiss, I promise I won’t tell a soul, besides, I need help rinsing, dearest”

Jacaerys had held her by the hand to not let her walk away, as he finished his sentence it was his turn to show his affection by leaving a kiss on her knuckles, the lady bit her lip as she thought over what to do, alas the little voice in her head that pushed her to stay won and (y/n) walked back to her original spot to a prince that grinned from ear to ear.

Jacaerys enjoyed being pampered, as the firstborn son his duties knocked on his doorstep when he was far too young, he never complained though, he yearned to make his mother proud, but there was no harm in indulging in (y/n) 's soft touch.

“It might not be the right time though I was hoping we could discuss something”

“Anything you want”

“I know we have not declared when we shall be wed, however, I wanted to express my concern over a certain part of it”

“Do not worry about anything, no matter what it is it shall be yours”

“It is not a thing I desire, I am afraid it is more complicated”

“Then what is it?”

“I do not wish to have a bedding ceremony”

She blurted out, her movements came to a halt as Jacaerys closed eyes opened to meet hers, (y/n) had kneeled to his eye level so it was not hard for him to stare right out her, her expression showed a hint of fear and a pang of guilt struck him right in the middle of his chest.

“I should have known”

“A public one is what I do not want, my septa has informed me about my wifely duties so I will not resist the ceremony as a whole, I am more than willing to give you children it is just the fact that-“

“You mustn’t explain yourself, I had just completely forgotten about that part since I’ve thankfully never attended to one”

“I understand it is tradition, however, I thought since your mother is the queen and if she agrees we can overlook it”

“The ceremony won’t take place, at all if that makes you happy, I will not start our wedlock by letting everyone see us like that”

(Y/n)s frown quickly turned back to a beam of pleasure, her eyes shining with hope. (Y/n) dreaded the moment ever since she found out about it, to be naked in front of numerous people and let them see her lord husband- no, no, no just the idea made her shiver.

Jacaerys had been honest when he said that he had forgotten about it he could not have been more sincere, he had the arrogance of a man since a ceremony of that nature would not fall heavy on his shoulders as much as if he had been the lady, of course, it is not as nice as a walk on a warm day but being intimate with your lady wife was something sacred.

That time he reached for her hand again, their faces inches away from one another and all one could hear was their deep and shallow breaths along with a few drops of water as Jacaerys remained completely still, (y/n) saw his other hand that extended over to neatly tuck her hair behind her ear before his fingertips casually followed along the line of her chin, his touch was hot and damp though (y/n) felt it was perfect.

For the briefest of moments (y/n) dared to imagine what their future would be like, Jacaerys with grey hair and wrinkles around his eyes bouncing their grandchildren on his lap as they drank tea in the garden, one thing that she could not deny was that amid chaos and the burden of the crown, Jacaerys was her peace, the comfortable silence amongst mindless chatter.

“When I was younger I asked my mother when I have a wife, knowing my mother had lost her first husband, she told me that when I feel like my heart will come out of my throat and when I would be willing to get on my dragon to bring the stars to her”

“I do not-”

“I will bring you the moon if that is what you long for”

“I long for love, honor, and respect”

“Promise me you will never shy away from speaking your mind to me”

“Careful, my brother would advise you to take your words back”

“I quite enjoy your blabbering, your voice is like a song of angels”

Requests are open!

#jacaerys velaryon fic #jacaerys velaryon x you #jacaerys velaryon headcanon #jacaerys velaryon imagine #jacaerys x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x you #jacaerys velaryon #jacaerys targaryen imagine #jacaerys targaryen #prince jacaerys #jacaerys x y/n #jacaerys x oc #jacaerys strong #hotd jacaerys #hotd fanfic #hotd imagine #hotd #hotd fic #hotd x reader #house of the dragon #Spotify

[swga-ficrecs]

long fic recs

this is a list of fics that are, well, long regardless of the trope and plot. for voracious readers who aren't satisfied with short-length writing. all these fics are considered holy grails because i don't read long fics if they aren't well-written. all fics are finished unless noted otherwise.

✒️ unfinished

yoongi

third wheeling by @untaemedqueen  i absolutely love everything about this. it's a lot of my favorite tropes in one giant fic. the characters are complex and fleshed out, the pacing is good, and i love the writing style. the smut is well-written and, though the catalyst for the plot, well-paced that it doesn't feel like a smut-centric fic.

suit & tie + drabbles by @jungshookz this is is a long fic but in bullet points, so i can only imagine how long this could've been if it was written in full sentences. another fic where yoongi does a 180°, but their dynamic is adorable from the beginning. not a lot of drama, a good fic to go back to if you want something lighthearted. you can probably tell by now that i love ceo fics.

desolate by @angelicyoongie this fic is long but has a very straightforward style of writing that's easy to follow and understand. it's one of the few hybrid fics i've read where they fight for a hybrid's right to freedom. i love how much yoongi opened up and changed throughout the fic. it's one of those fics where the idea of a hybrid isn't romanticized.

the deal by @untaemedqueen a great introduction to syndicate fics if you're looking for one. this is a chaptered fic that isn't too long and is easily digestible. it doesn't touch on mafia-esque activities so much. i have a thing for romance fics where the stone cold character evolves into a romantic, and this tickles that itch.

jimin

balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!reader by @jungshookz ✒️ this bullet point mini-series should be considered a full series already, considering the length of each drabble and how many of them exist. this is a forbidden romance between a teacher and a student with different personalities, so it's interesting and endearing how they developed their feelings over time.

i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts

a lengthy oneshot of strangers-turned-lovers and how love grows slowly between two people who are worlds apart. very well-written, i dreaded how quickly i finished reading it. i love how human jimin is in this fic. the oc is very relatable as well—very realistic and not overtly romanticized. i can easily identify myself in her if i were in her shoes.

taehyung

maybe i do by @chateautae another fic that is a mix of my favorite tropes. this fic has fewer but longer chapters. another smut-filled fic that doesn't feel overworked and serves as a good break between dramatic scenes. i love how both characters developed throughout the story.

jungkook

please love me by @ahundredtimesover i loved the complexity of the characters and how they navigated through their situation. they both had to do a lot of growing up in this fic, and it was done in a well-paced manner. the drabbles also give a lot of insight to this universe. i go back and read the drabbles a lot.

evolution of a lover's heart by @jeonstudios

a heartwrenching masterpiece. i waited a long time for this to be finished, and it did not disappoint at all. one of the most emotional and resonating fics i've read so far. my heart feels for both of them so much. the kind of love that people wish they would have.

the boy with galaxies in his eyes by @oddinary4bts

an emotionally captivating and heartwrenching oneshot that i never expected to read. both characters were well-written and well-fleshed out, it was easy to fall in love with them and understand their actions. the writing itself was really magical too—flowed so smoothly, it didn't feel as long as it actually was. an absolute hidden gem that everyone should read!

4-7-8 by @jiminrings

not the longest of fics, but a great read nonetheless. i read this a while back, and it was only after i reread it that i was able to truly appreciate the characters and their development. it has a very realistic plot that tugs at my heartstrings. everyone deserves this kind of partner and love.

our first and last by @thedefinitionofbts ✨️

if you love the concept of alternate universes and soulmates, this is a must read. the author utilized scientific concepts that i had a hard time grasping and, at the same time, supported the plot really well. i'm so glad i came across this fic.

multi-member

sanguis duology + (ongoing) oneshots by @borathae absolute monster of a fic, probably one of the longest ones i've read. even though i was annoyed at mc's stubborness, i think it was a driving force throughout the fic. i also never imagined the pairings in this, but i enjoyed the ride. there were some parts where i felt the author could've woven details better to make the story smoother, but it's charming in the sense that i need to think and connect the dots from previous chapters.

a place called home by @agustdakasuga i keep re-reading this fic every few years. i loved how each hybrid came into her life and how they eventually stayed. i also appreciate how each hybrid's personality isn't necessarily stereotypical. great pacing in each chapter, good to read if you like chaptered fics that aren't very long.

the road to you by @bonvoyagenoona

a slow burn masterpiece. this fic is a rollercoaster of experiences that is complemented by terrific writing and pacing. it's very instrospective, which is something i personally like. it has a little bit of everything and a good amount of smut, but it all works wonderfully together, the words flew by quickly.

#swga-ficrecs

[teshamerkel]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Seekers of Soul

[Chapter 52]

<< First | < Previous | Next >

AO3 Link

-

Nia and Tobias have their mission. It's time to plan their next move, and get some training in while they're at the Lexym Guild.

-

Telling Maggie about their trip to Asra and Shivergleam is a tense affair. The meganium stays quiet for most of it, but Nia can see her honey-gold eyes darken after each brush with danger that they skim over, clumsily trying to fill in the gaps left in their story.

Finally, what feels like hours later, they're finished. Quiet falls over the three of them.

With a forced sort of calm, Maggie asks, “Is that everything?”

“It’s all we know so far,” Tobias hedges. “Our plan right now is just to find Xerneas. Hopefully she can prevent any of this from happening. Or at least fix the dimensional border if it does break.”

If she doesn't, the world falls apart, Nia silently adds, knowing she doesn’t need to say it for it to be in the forefront of all their minds. Both the Pokemon world and the human world would be destroyed.

Nia fiddles with the soft fur of her tail, too nervous to look up at Maggie. The silence while the grass type digests everything is heavy.

Finally, Maggie sighs. Nia jumps.

“I’m going to need a hug after all of that,” Maggie says.

Nia finally looks up, relieved, and willingly scoots closer for the meganium to pull her into a hug with her vine. Nia leans against her petals, soft but firm, and breathes in her fresh floral scent. She sees Tobias getting the same treatment on Maggie’s other side.

Immediately, Nia feels a little better. Everything feels less dire when she's tucked against Maggie like this. It's still quiet, but a comforting sort of quiet. It’s only the three of them in the herbalist quarters at the moment, Sage having been politely shooed out of the room to grab some berries for breakfast once Maggie realized that neither Nia nor Tobias felt comfortable explaining their trip with the ivysaur present. Sage had taken the obvious excuse with grace, thankfully, and is taking his time in returning.

“Thank you for telling me.” Maggie says. She takes a deep breath, Nia lifting with the exhale. “I just wish you two weren’t thrown right in the middle of all this mess. You’re so young.”

“We’re not little kids,” Tobias mutters.

“Oh, don’t pout.”

“I'm not pouting!” Tobias says, absolutely pouting.

Nia turns her face into Maggie’s petals to stifle a laugh.

“When were you planning on talking to August about all of this?” Maggie asks.

Nia pulls away to look at Tobias. He seems as unsure as she feels.

“Should we tell him?” Tobias asks, crossing his arms. “We’re getting intel from a banished legendary, if he even believes we're telling the truth. And we don’t know that he’ll actually do anything even if he does believe us. He said he’d look into the fire that happened in Ghatha but nothing ever came from that.”

Nia has to admit that he has a point.

Maggie sighs. “Even if it’s not obvious, I’m sure August is doing all he can to help. And if this is something jeopardizing not only our guild but the entire Pokemon world, I promise you he would want to know about it.”

Nia and Tobias exchange a doubtful look.

Maybe sensing that they’re reluctant to talk to August and worried that they’ll try to put it off completely, Maggie only allows a quick breakfast of the berries Sage brings back before marching the two of them straight to August’s office herself. The rillaboom looks pleased to see them, a soft sort of relief on his face when he catches sight of Nia and Tobias safely back from their travels. His warm smile fades as he locks eyes with Maggie, though, his more casual posture straightening up. He waves them in without a word.

Verene seems to be out, so they’re the only ones present in the spacious office. The leaves weaving in and out of the wooden walls are a lovely gradient of warm autumnal tones.

August takes a seat behind his desk, chair creaking. “Welcome back, Team Scarlet. It’s good to see you both safe. I heard from the crew of the Aqua Jet and that little sableye that you both showed impressive prowess as Seekers yesterday.”

Nia murmurs a thank you. Tobias nods.

“However, gauging by your expressions, I must assume that’s not why you came to see me today,” August says. “A shame. I could do with some good news, for once. What can I help you with?”

Nia looks to Tobias, so he starts them off. Retells the story once more with Nia stepping in on occasion, trading the explanation back and forth.

They mention Asra, first, to explain everything that comes after. Giratina. The protective shell of this world weakening from a preemptive crack in the very fabric of the dimension. Nia and Tobias being assigned to find Xerneas in a desperate bid for hope.

August’s brow knits and falls lower and lower as he listens, chin resting on bridged fingers. By time they’re finally finished, Nia’s throat is dry. The same oppressive silence from before falls over the room, and it feels thick enough to choke on.

August’s amber eyes settle on Nia. “How sure are you that Giratina was telling the truth?”

Nia tries not to let her own doubt show on her face. “W-Well…I guess I don’t have any proof that he was? But he felt…honest. And it makes sense. Or at least more sense than anything else people have guessed for why the world is breaking down, right? Could anything else cause natural disasters and make evolution stop? Or force legendaries to go dormant?”

“You think Giratina would have something to gain from us seeking out Xerneas?” Tobias asks, eyes narrowing.

August sighs, raking his fingers back through his leafy mane. “That’s difficult to say. I’m no expert on either legendary.”

“But surely there’s enough here to merit a deeper look,” Maggie pipes up. “If Giratina is being honest, then…”

August lets a rush of air out through his nose. “It would be disastrous for us to ignore him, yes.”

The quiet returns like an itchy, ill-fitting sweater.

“I’ll ask Alistair and Tawny to look into it immediately,” August finally says. “If they feel that searching for Xerneas is likely to be of help and not just playing into Giratina’s schemes, then I’ll reach out to the other Guildmasters so we can plan from there.”

Nia lets out a breath. Knowing that they aren’t solely responsible for saving the whole world feels like the weight of the Lexym Tree itself being lifted off her shoulders. She kind of wants to cry. “Thank you.”

August nods. “Of course. I’m here for anyone in the guild, but a matter pertaining to the safety of the entire world? That is not to be treated lightly.”

“Speaking of safety,” Tobias says, in a tone that would be casual if it didn’t sound like it was barbed with thorns. “You said you were going to send someone to look into the fire at Ghatha, right? And other human discrimination. Anything ever come of that?”

August gives Tobias a dry look. “Put away your fangs, Tobias. I did indeed look into the matter.”

“And?”

“The investigation into the Ghatha fire has unfortunately gone cold. While they can assume it was a fire type at the convention who started it, Rai’s guild hasn’t been able to determine who was the culprit. They’ve marked it closed for now unless new information arises.”

"Yeah, and I'm sure that decision has nothing to do with the guy not liking humans," Tobias mutters.

August's eyes narrow. "Where did you hear that?"

Nia blinks, surprised, and exchanges a look with Tobias. August doesn't know? "Keegan mentioned it, back when we were in Ghatha."

"The guild's second-in-command," Tobias clarifies. "A ninetales."

"Hm." August looks past them for a moment, locking eyes with Maggie. Before Nia can figure out what the two older Pokemon are thinking, he speaks again. "That's not something I was aware of. What are your thoughts on Keegan? I haven't had the chance to speak with him myself."

"He was nice!" Nia says.

"A little too nice," Tobias scoffs.

August hums. "...Noted. Regardless, for now the investigation remains at a stand-still."

Tobias’ muzzle crinkles, mirroring Nia’s own displeasure. While this news isn’t entirely unexpected, it is unnerving, not knowing the Pokemon who made a very intentional effort on all of the human lives at the convention in Ghatha. What if they try something else in the future? The thought makes Nia feel…uneasy. Unsafe.

“My scouts did also confirm your claims regarding the general perception of humans in Ghatha. It seems the aggression towards them is increasing. Considering you saw the same in Asra, I can only assume the trend continues elsewhere as well.”

“But why?" Nia protests, voice cracking. "We aren't doing anything wrong!"

“I know,” August says, rubbing at his face. “We know you have nothing to do with what’s happening to our world, Nia. None of the humans do. But unfortunately, the natural disasters and mystery dungeons are only becoming more and more common. Pokemon are injured and frightened, and humans are a handy group to shoulder the blame.”

“It’s escalating, isn’t it?” Maggie cuts in, voice soft. “Not just the aggression. The natural disasters. The spread of mystery dungeons. The Haven hasn’t been hit too hard yet, but…”

August hesitates with a glance at Nia and Tobias. “Yes. Which would line up with what Giratina is claiming. The closer we get to the moment when the barrier of our dimension breaks, the more and more dangerous our world gets. And the more that tensions run high, the more rumors spread about whose fault it could be.”

Another silence. Nia can hear the walls of the Lexym Tree creak around them in the wind.

“What about Will?” Tobias asks. Nia looks at him, surprised that he’s even willing to bring up the yamask he dislikes so much.

“Ah, yes. You mentioned wanting to visit him to see if he has any leads in finding Xerneas. My scouts didn’t hear much about his group while in Ghatha, but they also couldn’t find many humans at all, seeing as they’re keeping a low profile.”

“I sent him a letter before we left for Asra,” Nia speaks up. “Telling him about Giratina trying to pull me into the distortion realm through the stream. A-And about me recovering some of my memories. If he’s written back by now, he probably left a way to find him, right?”

“Should we even bother seeing if he has information, though?” Tobias asks, face twisting. “If we know that we’re looking for Xerneas, what are the chances he knows something Alistair and Tawny and the other guilds don’t?”

“Can we risk not checking?” Nia murmurs.

Tobias doesn’t have an argument for that. “I guess just flying straight to see him ourselves would be faster than waiting for mail.”

August's hand strokes at his chin. “I believe Nia is right. We can’t risk missing a potential lead from a network of information outside of our own. If you are willing to track him down, then I approve your travel to seek him out in a few days’ time. I will have the guild cover your flight costs across the sea.”

“Why’re we waiting?” Tobias asks, frowning. “Shouldn’t we leave right away?”

August shakes his head. “I want to first discuss with Alistair and Tawny. If they believe seeking out Xerneas could be as beneficial as Giratina suspects, I’ll have them spread word to the other guilds to start an official search. If they believe we could be playing into a plot, then we’ll put a hold on seeking out any information.”

Nia and Tobias trade an uncertain look, but eventually agree.

The three of them depart the office shortly after, August giving them a distracted goodbye as he turns to some papers on his desk.

“So we have a few days until we can leave,” Tobias says, jumping right into it. “What’s our plan until then?”

“We should probably go to our quarters first, right?” Nia says. “To see if Will even wrote back?”

Tobias frowns, but nods.

They reach the medical floor, and Maggie stops, reminding Nia and Tobias that the meganium has a job to do elsewhere.

“Oh, don’t give me those yamper eyes,” Maggie laughs. She nuzzles the top of Nia’s head, then Tobias’. “I have a job to do as well! And I’ll still be right here if you want to stop in again later tonight.”

Tobias visibly relaxes at the reminder, and Nia thanks the meganium for her help. For listening.

“Of course! Someone has to look after you two, always running off into trouble,” Maggie says with a wink.

Nia turns to head down the stairs, but pauses when Tobias doesn’t follow. The charmander is hesitating, staring at Maggie with a conflicted expression. Then he darts forward to squeeze Maggie’s leg in a hug. The meganium seems as surprised as Nia is by the unusually open affection, but after a beat her expression softens. She lowers her head to return the hug with her long neck and a vine, squeezing him tight.

Ah, right. Tobias had told Maggie about finding the home of the crobat outlaw, too. About finding the crobat's grave, and the loving family he’d left behind. Maggie had smothered him in a hug then, too, but it makes sense that he’s still feeling a bit emotional about it all.

Tobias only tolerates the affection for a few seconds before ducking free and slipping past Nia, calling for her to hurry up over his shoulder. Nia smiles as she waves to Maggie and hurries after her partner.

The two of them head to the Seekers’ quarters a few floors down. Most of the doors are closed since Pokemon are out and about doing missions in the middle of the day, but there are a few lattice windows in the halls that let in glimpses of bright sunshine and whistling gusts of air.

Their own room is just as they left it, save a thin layer of dust over everything. The wall is lined by a few wooden cabinets, along with a bookcase and chest to keep their belongings in. A large window sits on the far wall, its lattice-like roots currently opened wide. A leaf-woven curtain is pulled down over it to keep out the wind, and the sun shines through it beautifully, casting a dim golden-green hue over everything. In the center of the room lies their plush scarlet red rug, and away from the window sits their nests, resting side-by-side.

Tobias dumps their satchel next to the chest. Nia goes to the mailbox set into the wall by the door. She’s excited to find three pieces of mail inside—two letters and one thin slip of paper. She pulls them out and looks at the smallest one first. It reads 20% Off at the Kecleon Brothers Shop! with a cute little drawing of a pair of…chameleons?

“They have coupons in this world?” Nia asks, strangely amused by the thought.

Tobias’ warmth appears at her side as he peers over her shoulder. He snorts. “The kecleon merchants are really well-known. Good quality wares, but make sure you stay on their good side.”

“Um, okay. Why?”

Tobias flops down in his nest. “The last ‘mon that tried to steal from ‘em left with less limbs than they started with.”

“But they’re so cute!” Nia says, aghast, as she looks again at the little drawing.

“So are fairy types, and they’re terrifying."

Nia sinks into her own nest, gently setting the coupon aside. She’s not sure she wants to deal with the shop at all if that’s the reputation they keep. She lights up when she sees the second letter, though—it’s a cute little thing, blue, with Nia’s name written in delicate, loopy cursive.

Tobias rolls over to squint at the envelope. “Who wrote us a letter in gibberish?”

Nia blinks. “You can’t read this?”

“You can?”

Nia takes another look at the letter. At first she thinks the problem is that the writing is cursive, but then she realizes that it’s probably because it's English. Not the native Pokemon language.

“Oh,” Nia laughs, feeling a strange pang of homesickness. “It’s in English. A, uh. Human language.”

She opens the envelope with care, pulling out the stationery and smiling at the letter, which is also written in looping cursive. Tobias doesn’t say anything else, but she can feel his eyes on her so she translates as she skims.

“It’s from Hazel. She says that she can make me a human bed! Oh man, you are going to love it. You’ll never be able to go back to a normal nest. And she’ll even give me the family discount! Aww!”

“She should give you more than that after we saved her mate’s tail,” Tobias says.

“We hadn’t even met Beck yet when I sent the request! Let’s see here…she also says—”

Nia bursts into laughter.

“What?”

“She also says that she’s glad you’re nicer to me now, but that she’s willing to knock some sense into you any time if that changes.”

Tobias straightens up, flushing. “She did not say that.” Nia cackles, turning the page over to his grabby hands. “She did! C’mon, she’s the reason I confronted you in Afon’s Cap at all!”

Tobias makes a face, but he’s still bright red. Nia isn’t sure if it’s because he’s embarrassed to be called out, or because of his behavior during their early partnership in the first place. Either way, he folds the letter back up and frisbees it at her, huffing.

Nia laughs again and tucks the letter off to the side with the coupon. She’ll have to write the old raichu back later. Nia’s amusement dies down as she picks up the third letter.

Tobias sits up as he sees her expression. “…Will?”

Nia nods. Hesitantly, she opens the yamask’s letter.

Nia,

While I’m pleased to hear from you, I wish it was under better circumstances! I’m relieved that you escaped from Giratina unharmed, but concerned that you had such a close call at all. If you do feel unsafe where you are, please don’t hesitate to come join the community of humans we have amassed thus far—we’re growing by the day! We're just south of Ghatha, past Stonebrook and closer to Kaleido Bay. If you can find Stonebrook, they can direct you from there.

“Stonebrook,” Nia murmurs, tilting her head. “Why does that sound familiar?”

Tobias, who had scooched closer to read, frowns as he tries to recall as well. Then he groans and plants his face in his hands.

“What?”

“It’s where your stupid rookidee friend lives,” Tobias says, words muffled.

Nia gasps. “Junie! Oh my gosh, you’re right! We could stop by and see her! She could—”

“We are not inviting her to join us.”

“Aw, why not? I miss her!”

“You miss her because she doesn’t pick fights with you constantly!”

Nia looks at him for a moment. “I thought you kind of enjoyed it. It's like how you squabble with Andyn."

Tobias stumbles over a retort—outright stammers—his face growing red again, and Nia bursts into laughter.

“Oh my God, I knew it! You do like bickering with them! Why do you act like you hate them so much?”

“I do hate them!”

“Mhm.”

“They’re annoying and loud and—”

“They’re your frieeends,” Nia coos, poking him in the cheek.

“They are not,” Tobias hisses, swatting her hand away. “Shut up!”

Nia can feel him heating up with embarrassment so she knows he’s lying, but she takes mercy and backs off, still grinning.

“This is exactly why you don’t need to be spending more time with either of them,” Tobias grumbles, rubbing at his cheek. “They’re rubbing off on you.”

Nia finally tames her delight down to a manageable level and goes back to Will’s letter.

I am thrilled, however, to hear about your returned memories, even if you had to endure a terrifying illness to find them. After speaking with more of the humans under my care who have recovered their own memories, I have to wonder if there is a correlation between severe injury or illness and the recovery of one's memories. Perhaps brushing by Death’s doorstep unlocks a part of the brain once buried?

Huh. Nia has to take a moment to think after reading that. The handful of memories she recovered did only return to her when she was gravely ill, but she didn’t think it was a direct correlation. But Will seems to be implying that nearly dying could be a trigger for that process. If Giratina is correct, maybe it has to do with them getting close to…leaving their new vessels? So the memories that Mew sealed away kind of…loosen?

Nia shakes her head, unnerved by the reminder that she nearly died, and reads on.

I would love to discuss with you further if you do feel like visiting. Know that you’re always welcome. We have exciting developments in the works! Until then, I hope you and your partner are well.

Will

Nia sits back. “Well, he’s open to a visit, and we have directions…”

“Guess it’s settled then,” Tobias sighs. “I’ll let August know tomorrow.”

“August said to give him a few days to run everything by Tawny and Alistair, right? So…what should we do in the meantime?”

Tobias makes a thoughtful sound in his throat, eyes trailing over the faint pattern of leaves forming the window curtain. “We don’t want to wear ourselves out completely before traveling, but we should definitely do some training or missions or something. We need to keep getting stronger, and we need to keep rising higher in the ranks so Pokemon take us seriously.”

“That would give us more funds, too,” Nia agrees. “So I guess for now we just work on recuperating and take a few missions?"

“Then when we’re cleared for travel we go to the flying outpost.” Tobias finishes, a smirk growing on his face. “You excited to get back in the air?”

Nia groans, falling back into her nest. The soft scent of straw and moss wafts up around her. “Not even a little.”

Tobias snorts a laugh. “You’ll survive.”

There’s a moment of quiet where Nia lies starfished in her nest, listening to the wind blow against their curtain. The midday sun has warmed their little room enough for it to feel nice and cozy.

“It’s too late in the day to start a mission,” Tobias says, snagging her attention again. “But I’m going to go see if Azami or Val are around to spar with.”

While he isn’t outright asking Nia to join, the way he pauses to look at her makes the implied question clear. Nia perks up. “Oh! I’ll come with! I’ve been wanting to chat with Val about how my aura’s shaping up anyways.”

Tobias grins, pushing himself to his feet and offering a hand to help her up. The two of them leave the cozy atmosphere of their room to wind their way down the Lexym Tree.

At the doorway leading into the training floor, Nia nearly bumps into a taller Pokemon. She hops back with an apology, craning her head up to meet their eyes. They look interesting—an olive green and tan Pokemon with a mushroom cap and a long, almost kangaroo-like tail. In their bright red claws, tucked close to their body, they hold something like a clipboard.

The mushroom Pokemon starts a polite apology, but cuts himself off as he catches sight of Tobias standing behind Nia. Nia’s own apology trails off as she looks between Tobias and the new ‘mon. Tobias is clearly uncomfortable, an echo of his old, closed-off demeanor resurfacing as he crosses his arms and scowls up at the taller grass type.

“Try to keep everything in one piece,” The new Pokemon finally says, tone clipped, as he slips around them and walks off.

Nia turns to Tobias with a concerned frown. “Who was that?”

“Archer,” He grumbles, good mood clearly soured. “He keeps track of inventory.”

“Oh. Um. Why was he..?”

“I used to be more…destructive, with some of the dummies. They’re flammable.”

“Oh.” Nia stares at him, trying to parse that information. With how often they travel nowadays and how much Tobias has softened up around her, Nia always forgets that there are Pokemon in the guild who aren’t fond of Tobias for one reason or another. This reason doesn’t seem like a very fair one, though. “Aren’t training dummies meant to be attacked?”

“Not when you’re using fire, apparently,” Tobias snaps, moving past her and into the training area with his shoulders tense.

Nia hurries after her partner, relieved when she sees that not only are their mentors present, but that Val is working with Xander’s team. The medicham is listening to something the luxio is explaining, the rest of his teammates gathered around to listen as well.

Azami is nearby, manning a different fighting area. The tsareena is watching a treecko as they attack a dummy, but she beams behind her tall collar when she catches sight of Nia and Tobias. “Spitfire! And little Riolu. Good to see you!”

Tobias ducks his chin into his scarf, but Nia thinks he’s secretly pleased to have such a warm reception after bumping into Archer. Val, Xander and the rest of Team Shellshock turn at the loud greeting as well.

Avery smiles with a delicate wave.

Felix grins, fluffy ears perking. “Nia!”

“Good to see you," Xander says. "When did you two get back?”

“Last night! Sorry, are we interrupting?” Nia says, approaching the group.

“We were actually just saying we need to branch out a bit with our sparring partners,” Xander says, giving Nia a friendly flick of his star-tipped tail. His gold eyes move to Tobias. “Either of you interested in joining us for combat training?"

“Yeah! I’ve been dying to see how you squirts do in a fight,” Kry says. The fraxure cracks her knuckles to punctuate her words, as if her looming presence isn't intimidating enough.

Tobias, however, flexes his claws and steps forward to meet her. “You’re on.”

"Ohoho! Bring it, little 'mon!"

“Oh, this oughta be good,” Felix says, turning to lead everyone to the sidelines.  “C’mon, we’d better clear the field for these two.”

“They’re going to battle right now?” Nia asks, giving Val a wide-eyed look even as she follows. They just got here! Shouldn’t they warm up or something?

The medicham shrugs. “Charmander stepped forward.”

Well, she can’t argue with that. Still, as Nia sits to watch, she can't help feeling nervous as Tobias crouches into a battle stance across from Kry. The fraxure lashes her tail and lowers her head with a sharp grin. Nia doesn’t think the brash Pokemon would actually hurt Tobias, but…

“Battle!” Val calls.

Both lizard Pokemon lunge, Tobias ducking under a slash and spinning to trip up Kry’s footing with his tail. The fraxure recovers with surprising grace and goes on the offensive again. Tobias is forced to backstep, shooting off small bursts of fire to try and gain some distance. Kry leaps right through one of Tobias’ flames as if it were nothing more than smoke.

“Whoa,” Nia murmurs.

“How was your trip?” Xander asks, leaning over to whisper.

“We had an, uh…eventful week,” Nia chuckles. “Solved a mysterious earthquake problem, fought some outlaws, got caught in a mystery dungeon on the river, so fun times all around.”

They also found the grave of a long-hunted outlaw and met with Giratina of all Pokemon, who told them the world was ending, but Nia feels reluctant to drop all of that onto Xander so suddenly.

Felix whistles. The wartortle’s gaze is on the fight, but his fluffy ears are angled her way. “Busy, busy! No wonder Tobias is holding his own pretty well. You two just don’t stop, huh?”

Nia smiles and straightens up, proudly watching her partner continue to dance around Kry. His fighting style is still more offensive than defensive, but he’s playing it smart, relying on his smaller size and speed to keep the fraxure from landing a spar-stopping blow.

“You willing to try a round next?” Xander asks, giving Nia a friendly nudge with his elbow that nearly knocks her over.

Nia laughs, a little nervous. “Sure? But, uh, I’m not as good at fighting as Tobias.”

“Somehow I doubt that’s true,” Avery speaks up from Xander's other side. The kirlia gives her a warm half-smile. “You tend to underestimate yourself.”

Nia flushes under her fur and looks back to the fight, wincing as Kry nearly lands a devastating punch on Tobias. Instead, her fist slams into the wooden floor with enough force to crack it. The fraxure seems to be getting frustrated, but Tobias is starting to slow too, panting hard. He hasn’t used his smokescreen yet, though Nia isn’t sure if that’s a matter of pride or if Kry’s vision would be sharp enough to see through it.

The fight continues for another minute, Tobias landing a few brushes of flames and claws on Kry’s tough hide, but the fraxure is the one who ends it. She clips the charmander with a left hook, and as he stumbles, she slams him hard in the gut with her heavy tail. Tobias staggers, and Kry takes the opportunity to pin him to the ground with her greater weight.

After a few moments of Tobias struggling to free himself—that tail whip must've knocked the breath out of him if he isn't using his fire—Val calls the match. Kry releases him, stepping back, and Tobias sits up slowly, wincing and rubbing at his stomach. Felix calls out a jovial “Good match!” while Val moves to Tobias’ side. At first, the charmander seems reluctant to listen to her, but after a few quiet words he looks at her fully, scowl lessening as he nods. She must be giving him advice.

Kry makes her way over and grins down at Nia, breathing somehow unlabored. “You next, scrap?”

Felix pouts. “You already got your turn, Kry.”

“And I asked first,” Xander says smoothly, standing and moving to where Kry stood before. He doesn’t sound bossy, but somehow even Nia can hear the quiet authority in his voice. While Nia and Tobias don’t really have a “leader” of their team, it’s clear that Xander holds the title for Team Shellshock.

“You up for it, Nia?” The luxio asks, confident expression softening.

Nia feels her heart flutter with anxiety, but Avery gives her an encouraging nod. She pads over to where Tobias is finally getting to his feet.

“Good fight,” Nia whispers to him as she passes.

“Kick his tail,” Tobias says in return, though it sounds less heated than the scathing comments he used to make towards Xander.

Nia nods and gets in position, lifting her hands and crouching just a bit, feet spread wide and stable. She still doesn’t particularly like fighting, even for fun, but she just tries to think of it more like…a friendly sporting match.

Xander spreads his paws wide as his tail flicks. Sparks come to life and crackle across his black fur, like stars in a night sky. Nia shifts, suddenly registering the fact that Xander is nearly twice her size. Usually the thought is comforting more than anything, but facing him as an opponent…

“Show ‘em what you did to that steelix!” Tobias shouts.

There’s a lull in the group's conversation that makes Nia’s ears flatten, embarrassed by the attention. However, the comment does lessen her nerves a bit. Hard to be intimidated by a luxio when she’s faced down a metal serpent the size of a semi-truck. And she did just learn work up in the last mystery dungeon, which should make her more powerful, but that might up her attack too much—she doesn't want to actually hurt Xander, after all.

Nia can hear Felix asking Tobias about the steelix comment, but Val starts off their spar with a loud, “Battle!”

In complete contrast to Tobias and Kry’s fight, Nia and Xander stay frozen in place, sizing each other up. The sparks crackling across the luxio’s fur make her wary to get in close like she usually does—he can probably cause paralysis, right? He is an electric type. But if she doesn’t get in close, then her only option is to—

Xander makes the first move, lighting up with a flash of electricity and sending a test bolt her way. Nia rolls out of the way on instinct, but she can feel the charge in the air prickling at her fur.

Xander’s eyes narrow. He darts forward to attack.

Nia yelps and creates a staff of aura, taking a swing to make him leap back. He does so, but shoots off another electric attack. Nia barely manages to scramble out of the way, rolling and leaping from bolt after bolt. She doesn’t realize Xander is herding her closer and closer to himself until he’s suddenly slamming into her side.

The electricity in his fur stings, and the blow sends her tumbling across the floor as her staff vanishes. Xander hesitates. Nia takes the opportunity as soon as she lands on her knees to charge up a messy ball of aura in her paws and launch it at the luxio. Xander’s eyes widen, clearly not expecting that, before he gets hit head-on in a flash of blue.

Nia winces. Yeah, she really doesn’t like fighting her friends.

“Oh, you learned aura sphere while you were gone?” Nia hears Avery say, excited.

Nia blinks, looking over at the kirlia. “I did?”

Tobias is also staring at Avery. “She did?”

Nia sees Avery’s eyes widen a split-second before Xander bowls into her again. As she rolls to a stop, she notices the tingly current racing through her body, making her limbs feel numb and locked into place. She struggles to sit up but can’t move. Xander takes his opportunity to pin her down, paws heavy on her arms.

He smiles. “My win.”

Nia accepts defeat with a sigh, letting her head drop back. “I got distracted.”

Xander laughs. For a moment his claws flex, and then Nia feels the electricity in her body…recede, as Xander’s own sparks increase. He steps back, and Nia can move again. She blinks as she sits up, rubbing the remaining tingles out of her arms. Did he…take back the paralysis? Like a lightning rod?

“Good fight, Nia!” Felix, ever the optimist, cheers.

“It really wasn’t,” Nia says. “At least not on my end.”

“That aura sphere caught me off-guard,” Xander encourages. “And I have a feeling you were holding back on me.”

“Not on purpose,” Nia assures, even as she keeps her mouth shut about how Xander hesitated too. He reminds her of her brother in the human world, Clay, so of course she doesn’t want to hurt him. She imagines he sees some of his younger siblings in her as well.

As they rejoin the rest of the group, Kry and Felix pass them to spar next. Val gestures Nia to sit at her side, between her and Avery.

“Sorry, I promise I’ve been keeping up with my training. I can fight better than that,” Nia says, shying away from her mentor’s inscrutable gaze.

“So we heard!” Avery says, ruby eyes shining. “You fought a steelix on your own?”

Nia shrugs, ears pinning to her head. “Tobias and Samir weakened him first.”

“It is still impressive, Riolu,” Val finally says. “Do not downplay your achievements. You fight hardest when there is a true threat. That is admirable in its own way.”

Nia relaxes, giving Val a thankful smile. “I just worry about hurting my friends when we spar.”

“Xander can take it,” Avery giggles. “But forget about that—what other aura techniques did you learn while you were gone?”

Nia perks up as she describes her improved control over her aura. She can form a pretty reliable staff of aura now, officially replacing her trusty branch as her main weapon, and apparently even throw something like an aura sphere at a short distance, at least according to Avery. Plus, there’s the way she used her aura to find Tobias in the mines under Asra—like a pulse. A radar.

At that revelation, Avery interrupts. “That could be a really useful skill to master.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely! Other than being able to find Pokemon buried beneath rocks or snow, you could even use it in battle or in the dark if your vision is impaired.”

Nia looks down at her hands, flexing them. She supposes she did kind of “see” Tobias’ aura to find him in the rubble. And she remembers when she was first learning to use her aura that Val’s energy formed a sort of…silhouette of color. Nia hadn’t thought of practicing her aura as a form of vision, but Avery does have a point about it being useful in certain situations.

“Want to try it?” Xander asks, dropping into the conversation from Avery's other side.

“Now?” Nia asks.

“Why not?”

Nia looks between everyone, but they all seem open to the idea. Tobias, sitting on Xander’s other side, looks a bit uneasy as usual at the mention of aura, but he doesn’t protest. Maybe since Nia has already seen his aura once, albeit on a very surface level, some of his reluctance has melted away.

“You…don’t mind if I look at your aura to practice?”

Everyone shakes their head, save for Tobias. He just shrugs, looking down to fiddle with his scarf. That's as close to a yes as she's probably getting.

Well, they’re all waiting for her. With a hesitant nod, Nia closes her eyes, trying to remember what she did down in the mines. At the time she was fueled by desperation, so it feels strange to try and replicate the move in a more relaxed environment. She thinks she just kind of…pushed out a thin pulse of aura? Like a wave.

She tries it once, gently. Her aura barely even leaves her body, brushing against Val’s orange energy and flashing in her mind’s eye before petering out. Frowning, Nia turns up the power a few notches. Not so strong as to hurt, but not so weak that it dissipates immediately.

On her second try, the aura washes over all of them in a single pulse. Colors light up in her mind’s eye, resembling their vague silhouettes. Val’s bright, strong orange. Avery’s calming indigo. Xander’s eye-catching red. Tobias’ deeper scarlet. For an instant, for a moment, she sees them all, before it goes dark again.

“That felt…interesting,” Xander says, making Nia open her eyes. He’s rubbing a paw over his chest.

Nia blinks. “You felt that?”

Avery nods. “Yes! It’s so hard to describe. It almost feels like you…brushed your paw over my arm to get my attention. But…against my mind instead? My emotions, maybe?”

Nia cringes, immediately glancing at Tobias. He was the touchiest about her aura being invasive.

He does look a bit wary. “How does it feel for you? When you do that.”

Nia looks down at her hand, curling it. “I…don’t think I focused on anyone long enough to get a read on anything? But I’m familiar enough with all of you that it was easy to tell who was who. I could still…feel your personalities? But not any specific emotions.”

“If you were to focus your aura more steadily, in a direct connection rather than a radius, I wonder how well you could track an opponent, even with your eyes closed,” Val says, hand at her chin.

“Could you attach your aura in some way?” Avery adds. “Tag someone, so you would have a constant link?”

Nia sits back. Huh. She certainly hadn’t thought of that. She’s glad these two are here to help. “I…don’t know? I’ve never tried.”

“Would you want to?” Avery asks, practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of experimenting. They clearly wouldn’t mind being a guinea pig.

“Sure? If you don’t, uh. Mind. Any suggestions for how to do this? Since you’re a psychic type?”

“Well, you should probably start out by touching them, right?” Xander says, tilting his head. He glances Kry and Felix’s way when a small explosion goes off from their sparring. Felix is cackling as Kry shouts something at him.

“That would likely be a good place to start, yes,” Val says.

Avery holds out a hand, smiling. Nia hesitates, then takes it, closing her eyes and reaching out with her aura.

Avery’s purple-blue aura, as curious and deep as the night sky, flares to life behind Nia’s eyelids, making up the kirlia’s silhouette. Nia’s own bright blue aura is a strong contrast to it, the two colors a beautiful mix where they overlap at their hands. But when Nia pulls back her paw, Avery’s aura vanishes. She frowns, and touches the kirlia again so the indigo flares back to life. So she does need to…attach her aura to them, somehow. Anchor herself?

Nia can’t think of how to do such a thing, so she tries to let her instincts take over instead. Aura is all about emotion, after all. About her life energy, what she wills into being. So what if she just…wills her aura to connect? Wills her bond with the kirlia to become something…tangible. Something physical. Something more than the surface-level observations of aura that she's done so far, something deeper.

She thinks about Avery’s soft voice and bright eyes and the delicate way they move. How they’re always happy to help Nia think through a problem and how their very presence soothes something anxious in Nia. Warm affection wells up in her heart.

Nia’s aura moves to follow that pull, that connection, latching onto Avery’s instead of just brushing against it. She feels a rush of emotion, of thought, that isn’t hers.

fascinating eager friend proud curious

It’s less a voice, and more a…feeling of each word. Not too different from what Nia has felt in the past, but somehow more intense. Clearer. Nia yanks her hand away, startled, but between them a string of bright blue aura remains, tying her to Avery’s indigo aura and keeping their form visible behind her eyelids. If Nia focuses on it, she can still feels Avery’s emotions, distant. Like a voice from the next room over or a palm radiating warmth through a heavy sweater.

Worry friend okay?

Nia’s eyes snap open, and she feels the connection cut out, leaving her feeling almost…lonely. She’s panting like she hasn’t since the early days of her aura training. Avery, Xander, and Tobias are watching her with mirrored expressions of concerned curiosity.

“I-I think it worked?” Nia says.

Avery lights up, leaning forward. “Tell me everything.”

Nia tries her best to describe the experience as Felix and Kry return to the group, Kry pouting at her loss and Felix ribbing the dragon type with an elbow to her side. As soon as they’re caught up on what’s happening, Felix eagerly volunteers to be Nia’s next test subject.

Nia has a slightly harder time connecting to Felix’s leafy green aura, and frowns as she tries and fails to find a foothold.

“Maybe your aura is too depleted?” Avery suggests.

Nia considers that, but shakes her head. No, her aura isn’t anywhere near gone. It’s just like…trying to stick one piece of cotton to another, with no adhesive to hold it in place. With Avery, it was like there’d been a piece of Velcro to snag onto.

Val, arms crossed and head tilted, flicks her gaze to Tobias. “Charmander.”

Tobias, who had been watching the whole process with an unreadable expression, frowns. “Yeah?”

“You next.”

Nia and Tobias shake their heads at the same time.

“No.”

“H-He doesn’t have to, really!”

“He is your partner,” Val cuts in. “He of all Pokemon should be the one you are most familiar with. If you two are separated, I want to know you have a chance to use this skill to your advantage.”

That is…unfortunately a good point. Except Tobias has been so private with his aura, from the very beginning. Not that Nia can blame him! It’s a really personal thing. But…she also doesn’t want to disappoint Val, and—

“Fine,” Tobias grumbles, scooting over to sit in front of Nia and jabbing his hand forward. “Get it over with.”

Nia blinks at him, surprised. Just like that?

Tobias flushes. “She has a good point. C’mon.”

Nia still hesitates, but after glancing at his face one more time she closes her eyes and reaches out a hand.

Before even brushing against him, her aura leaps from her body to his, latching on like a magnet. Tobias’ emotions filter through the string, somehow…louder than Avery's. Clearer, like the reception is better.

hide hide hide calm down Nia won’t hate calm down will she get it over with already—

Nia cuts the connection herself, recoiling with wide eyes. Tobias glares back at her, none of the turmoil she just felt showing on his face.

“Riolu?” Val prompts.

“You didn’t even touch me,” Tobias grumbles. “Why do you look so freaked out?”

“I-I didn’t need to?” Nia says, more a question than a statement. “I…my aura connected on its own?”

“Without contact?” Avery asks.

Surprised, Nia nods. Her attention is admittedly torn, though, caught on the thoughts and emotions Nia felt when she connected to her partner. He’s…so scared of her looking at his aura. And not because of privacy reasons, like she’d previously thought.

He’s…scared Nia will hate what she sees?

“Hm.” Val looks like she expected this turn of events. “I suspect the depth of your bond with someone influences how easily you can connect to them.”

“Or maybe Nia is just getting better as she goes?” Felix suggests.

Nia can’t give the speculation her full attention like she usually would. She’s too busy trying to tear her thoughts away from Tobias’ suddenly worrying self-esteem, or lack thereof. She…doesn’t think she can really bring it up directly, since they were kind of his private thoughts? But she’s more than a little concerned. She’s confident that the two of them are friends at this point, but he’s still so scared that she’s suddenly going to…what? Turn on him? Just because she gets a better understanding of who he is?

“Try again on Wartortle,” Val says.

Nia manages to focus back on the conversation, at least a little. Distracted, almost without thinking, she reaches out and tries to make her aura connect to Felix again, this time without touching. Her aura strains and reaches an inch or two past her body before snapping back. Completely different than it was with Tobias, where it leaped for him like a long-lost friend.

“No,” Nia murmurs. “I think Val is right. It’s…it feels completely different.”

Felix looks unusually put out by Nia struggling to connect with his aura. Val, Avery and Xander, however, just seem thoughtful. Kry is busy picking at her teeth.

Tobias is staunchly looking everywhere but Nia, face redder than usual and fingers rubbing at his scarf. Embarrassed. Nia supposes she understands how he feels, even in her distracted state. It’s one thing to feel close to him, but another thing entirely to have tangible proof of their friendship. Then again, apparently he needs proof, if his inner thoughts are anything to gauge by.

“If only we could speak with one of the lucario tribes,” Avery sighs. “They must know so much more about aura and what it can do. Psychic energy can be used for telepathy and more physical techniques like telekinesis, but aura is an entirely different matter since it deals directly with life energy and emotions. I’ve heard you can even influence a target's emotional state and manipulate their aura like you would your own!”

Nia leans back, something in her gut turning over as she snaps back to the conversation at hand. Influencing others’ emotions? Manipulating their aura, their life energy?

"That…uh, sounds a little scary, Avery."

Avery seems surprised, but then laughs. “Apologies. I suppose it does. I just thought it was fascinating! And I know you would never misuse your aura, so I don’t fear that kind of power in your paws.”

Nia’s unease fades a bit as she gives them a smile. It’s nice to know Avery has so much faith in her.

“For now, continue to explore this technique, Riolu,” Val says. She tilts her head towards the battlefield. “Avery. Luxio. You are next.”

Avery looks reluctant to leave the discussion, but sighs and stands with an unreasonable amount of grace. They give Xander a teasing smile. “Think you can win this time?”

Xander laughs, lighting up in the way he only seems to around the kirlia. It’s kind of adorable. He nudges his teammate as they walk onto the battlefield together. “I’ll certainly try my best.”

Val hums, gaze lingering on the two of them as they start sparring without her call. “Charmander, you will battle Wartortle next.”

Nia frowns. Felix just battled a bit ago. “Shouldn’t I..?”

“You can fight if you would prefer to, but I can see you are reluctant. I believe you are making fine enough combat progress to focus on your aura today.”

Oh. Nia would prefer that over sparring, if Val thinks she’s doing all right. “O-Okay! So should I just..?”

“Practice with my aura while I monitor the sparring,” Val says, still watching the battle. “Connect to me, then try stepping away to see how far you can go before you lose the connection. Take a break between each attempt.”

There’s no hesitation in the medicham’s words, so after a moment Nia nods and closes her eyes to connect to Val’s orange energy. It’s not nearly as easy as Tobias or even Avery, but not any more difficult than Felix. A gentle tap to the fighting type’s arm, and the connection, though weak, is made. Val’s thoughts and emotions, calm as a still lake, leak through.

Luxio spark more aggressive Avery work on physical strength Riolu take breaks cannot forget exhaust herself—

Nia tries to channel out the medicham's thoughts, feeling a bit like she’s intruding. The thoughts are still there, but like someone murmuring nearby. She can kind of tune them out, and instead focuses on getting to her feet.

Whoa. She feels a bit woozy, as she usually does when stretching her aura in new ways. After a moment she manages to back away, one step at a time. The string between them stretches longer and longer. All Nia sees is her own aura and Val’s, the orange silhouette of her a bright beacon amidst the sea of black behind her eyelids.

Nia makes it ten steps away before she feels the string…strain, for lack of a better word. A tug on her soul. Then, one more step and it snaps. Nia gasps and stumbles, barely managing to catch herself before she can fall.

“Nia?” Tobias calls, apparently watching. His brow is furrowed.

“I’m fine!” She pants. That feeling just…surprised her. It was as if something she was leaning her weight on suddenly vanished.

“Take a break,” Val calls.

Nia does so, staggering back to Val’s side to sit and watch Xander and Avery exchange blows.

That’s how the training session continues, the others taking turns sparring, Tobias included, while Nia trains this new facet of her aura.

Avery, of course, gently interrogates Nia every time they are on the sidelines, watching Nia’s progress with fascination. The two of them hold a conversation as Nia treads back and forth, getting familiar with seeing the others through her aura. Avery is as curious about Nia and Tobias’ travels to Asra and Shivergleam as they are about everything else.

When Nia brings up how protect and misty terrain stopped the effects of the forming mystery dungeon on their way back from Shivergleam, Avery falls silent. When Nia finishes that round of connection training and opens her eyes, Avery is staring at her in much the same way they did when Nia made the connection between aura and type energy. Like their world has just shifted on its axis a bit.

“Avery?”

“…It’s almost a shame you became a Seeker, Nia. The research community would be lucky to have you.”

“Has no one ever tried to use a move like that in a mystery dungeon?” Nia asks, frowning. It feels kind of…obvious?

Avery hums. “I’m sure someone has, but it’s certainly not a well-documented strategy. The number of Pokemon who know such moves is already small, and the number of those Pokemon who just happen to get caught in a mystery dungeon forming are even smaller. To then also have a calm enough head to try defending rather than running? Even less so.”

“Oh.” Nia suddenly feels very, very glad that her instinct seems to be to freeze and defend, rather than to fight or flee. In this case, it worked in her favor.

“Mystery dungeons are a fairly recent phenomenon, in the grand scheme of things,” Avery continues. “Less than half a century old. And considering how dangerous they are to study as well as how randomly and rarely they appear—at least until recently—many basic facts about how they function are still unknown."

Huh. Nia guesses that makes sense.

"So this is an incredible discovery!" Avery says, excited. "I’ll need to share with Father later and ask him to connect with the researchers and archivists at the other guilds. I wonder why those moves can interact directly with a mystery dungeon? Is the environment itself using an attack somehow?”

Avery’s voice trails off to a mutter, and Nia has to stop herself from responding. Because she knows the answer to that, thanks to Giratina. Knows that the weakening border around the Pokemon world is the cause of the mystery dungeons, and that it’s made of life energy, of aura, just like any Pokemon. It makes sense that moves, which also use aura as their base power, can interact with it.

But sharing that knowledge would mean admitting to her run-in with Giratina. It would mean sharing the news of the world ending, the news that their hopes currently hinge on finding a long-lost dormant legendary. And August is going to talk to Alistair and Tawny anyways, right? Nia doesn’t want to put that burden on Avery’s shoulders. Not when there’s nothing they can do about it. They’re having a good time, training together! There’s no reason for Nia to bother Avery with terrible news. Not yet.

Nia takes a break shortly after that conversation, starting to feel truly worn down. Tobias sits down beside her after his latest spar, panting hard after facing off against Xander. Felix and Avery battle in front of them, while Xander and Kry talk strategy and Val observes.

“Hey, you crazy kids!”

Nia and Tobias tilt their heads back to see Azami hanging over them. She must be done training her own students. The tsareena’s mouth is hidden behind her high collar, but her eyes are crinkled with a smile. “Good to see you back at the Tree in one piece.”

Tobias scoffs, but Nia feels the way he relaxes at her side. “What, you think we were going to lose an arm or something out there?”

Azami laughs. “I never know with you, Spitfire!”

The tsareena takes a seat on Val’s other side to watch the spar now that she’s done mentoring her own students. After a moment, she decides to cheer on Avery. Felix sends her a betrayed look in the midst of battle that results in him getting blasted by a fairy move. Val gets up a moment later to move to where Felix is groaning on the floor, a quiet lecture about getting distracted in battle likely on her tongue.

On Nia's other side, Tobias is now arguing with Kry and Xander about offensive versus defensive strategies. Tobias insists that offensive is best, of course, while Xander leans more towards defensive strategies. Kry seems to be arguing that going on the offensive is not aggressive enough, somehow.

Nia, left to drift in the middle, sits in contented silence, letting her fatigued aura rest. She watches Val talk to Avery next. The medicham’s stoic expression is softened ever so slightly as she directs the kirlia on how they could’ve better dodged a tricky aqua tail attack earlier in the battle.

Azami leans over to whisper to Nia, “You’re one of her favorites, y’know.”

“W-What?”

“Val,” Azami says. She straightens up, but keeps her voice low. “She didn’t have the greatest mentor growing up, so she tends to keep her students at arm’s length. But she always perks up when you and Spitfire are back in town.”

“Oh,” Nia says, unsure what else to respond with. Her ears feel warm.

She…wasn’t expecting that. Val doesn’t seem to hate being around Nia and teaching her, but Nia has a hard time believing that Val holds any particular fondness for her, either. Especially considering Nia’s inexperience with pretty much, well…everything. If anything, she’d thought Val might find her kind of exhausting to deal with. Not that the medicham ever let that slip, but she doesn’t let much of anything slip.

“Trust me,” Azami laughs. “Other than Alistair, I’m the best Val translator in the guild. We’re close.”

Her voice is sly, and Nia glances at the tall grass type.

Azami winks.

Oh, Nia thinks as her brows shoot up. She doesn’t want to assume anything, but Azami isn’t exactly subtle. Does that mean her and Val..?

Val finishes offering advice and returns to sit between Nia and Azami, stopping Nia’s moment of revelation. Still, she can’t help peeking over at the two Pokemon afterwards, trying to figure out if Azami was just teasing her or not. Azami does lean awfully close to Val when they talk, and the medicham doesn’t seem to mind at all. Then again, cool and collected is kind of her default state.

For a moment, Nia thinks, I could connect to Val’s aura to find out.

Then she registers that thought and tears her gaze away to watch the next spar, stomach turning uncomfortably. She’s going to need to be careful with how she practices this new technique. Every time she thinks she’s getting a grasp on her aura, getting comfortable with it, something new pops up to throw a curveball and make her feel like she’s handling a live bomb. It’s just…scary. To know she holds so much power.

Val calls it quits on everyone’s training soon after. Tobias and Xander’s team are radiating exhaustion, and they eagerly agree to break for a late lunch. While Nia isn’t physically tired, her aura is worn down to a fraction of its usual amount and that leaves her ready for a rest and a good meal, too.

“Wanna come with us to the dining hall?” Felix invites, smile broad as he stands and stretches.

Nia glances at her partner. Tobias seems uncertain, but doesn’t disagree immediately, so he’s probably just feeling shy about how to say yes without a fuss. Nia accepts for them both, and the group packs up to head down the Lexym Tree to the cafeteria floor.

As they leave, calling thanks to Val and Azami, Nia spots the tsareena slinging an arm around Val’s shoulders, laughing about something. Val’s mouth twitches into a small smile.

Nia bites back a smile of her own and hurries after her friends.

#pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokemon #riolu #kirlia #luxio #wartortle #fraxure #charmander #pmd seekers of soul #tesha writes #tesha draws

[zutarasbuff]

I watched the Netflix adaptation of ATLA today and being a hardcore fan of the OG series who knows every nook and cranny of the ATLA world, here’s my unbiased and truly honest review (It contains both the negatives and positives of the series, so dear reader please enter to read at your own risk).

Firstly, let’s talk about the wonderful additions to the already magical world of ATLA.

1. The depth of the genocide

Well, I always wanted to know how the air nomads were suddenly wiped out and how it would have been for them? Why didn’t they resist? I got my answers in the first episode where we explore how the unhinged power of the comet was “actually” used to create a genocide on a massive level. Before that, I had only heard about it in the OG series. Those few scenes were so powerful that they had left me sobbing uncontrollably and Gyatso’s concern regarding Aang had me bawling.

2. Suki’s Characterization

In the OG series, we do find our Suki the fiercest warrior, but here in the live action, she’s an absolute goddess. She is perfect in every sense. She understands the responsibilities she has being a non-bender and is fearless. Her character is what I believe to be was the strongest one of all.

3. Graphics & Music

We never talk about a film by M.Night (that didn’t happen), but this one is really a visual treat for you can readily set yourself up for some mind-blowing bending scenes, plus the fight scenes are quite impressive. It seems that the VFX team had really done their homework this time. Plus, both Momo and Appa are so freaking cute. I loved the fluffy Appa. Good work over there. The revival of the OG theme is also a highlight plus the sun warriors’ chanting in the end is given a new but intriguing twist. The background music especially in scenes where Aang unravels his Avatar powers is mystical in every aspect.

4. Life in motion

I don’t know about others, but I have always been a sucker for animation as well as live-action where characters are operating even in the direst of the circumstances. Life is there and even after they know what happened a hundred years ago, they are still trying to believe and regain their past confidence. This is beautifully portrayed and I was very much impressed by the way people are continuing their day-to-day activities even in the middle of a crisis.

Overall, the series serves the purpose of an adaptation carrying its unique colors (at least better than the previous live-action disaster that didn’t happen).

Now let’s move to the bad side, and when I say it’s honestly what I felt, you need to take my word on it being a hardcore Atla fan.

1. Weak writing & lots of exposition

ATLA remains at a 9.2 IMDB rating even after years because of its writing, strong plot, and very few plot holes. This time, the writers are the real amateur ones. Despite addicting more to the already flourishing universe of ATLA, sadly, they killed the quest of the viewer to find answers. There is too much exposition. It seems that every character just wants to see the end of the war and keeps on revealing things after things. Plus, some of the OG moments that were the soul of the series are not even included. The way Aang finds Momo and then decides to keep it with him as a last remnant of their bygone air nomad civilization is nowhere to be found. In fact, the replacement of Roku with Kyoshi is the biggest disappointment. I love Kyoshi like no one else but that was unnecessary as per the cycle.

2. Bland acting

Even the worst writing shots can be digested only if the acting appears real good. Sadly, this is another issue that I found with the NETFLIXED version. No doubt the characters must have done a lot of hard work for this, yet, they lack the expressive power. Gordon as Aang is super cute but the goofiness is not even there. Katara seems a nerd who doesn’t like to talk much even when it’s necessary and Sokka’s jokes are forced. Meanwhile, Dallas seems to save the day at one point, but again his over-the-top angry young man attitude ruins it for me. Maybe the actors will learn from the criticism in the upcoming season (if Netflix plans to go with it).

3. Major changes

Yes, it’s okay to change the narrative while you are working on an adaptation, but targeting the loyal viewers who are OG fans of ATLA means that you have to be very careful when you are trying to implement your changes in scenes that are the real soul of the OG. You can’t change the Omashu myth as if it’s nothing when we actually see even the cute animated version of the folklore. You cannot portray Roku more as a perpetrator of the genocide and Bumi as the evil king when in truth he’s the mad king who’s known for his genius ways of teaching. I hated that. Plus, reducing Zhao’s authority and taking Uncle Iroh’s sarcastic attitude is just meh. Mai again doesn’t even seem perfect as a cast. Jet is good as far as the aesthetics are concerned but Jet being in Omashu doesn’t even sit right with me. The amalgamation of multiple storylines creates so much confusion and this persists till the end.

4. Bending at convenience

We all know how Katara’s bending progressed throughout the first season and it’s little effort each day. However, in series, one day she’s unable to bend even a droplet of water and the next day she is capable of producing ice crystals. This was unacceptable for me because I was anticipating her learning strategies. Besides, Aang doesn’t learn much water bending throughout this season and in the end, it’s him being the savior in Avatar state. Thoughtless bending sucks despite the great VFX and that’s one thing at which you can’t convince me otherwise.

5. Forced friendships

We all know how it took some time for Sokka to embrace Aang as a chum. However, here Sokka keeps on calling him “the kid” and remains mostly alienated from Aang. Talking to Katara, then she also seems more interested in helping Avatar fulfill his goal than being with a friend. I hated the scene where Aang comes into the Avatar state and instead of hugging him just like in the OG series, Katara runs along Sokka and keeps on calling his name. How is that going to build any organic friendship? I think the first mistake began right from the very moment when Aang was taken back to Wolf Cove on a boat in his unconscious state. Upon opening his eyes, the first person he finds near him is neither Katara nor Sokka but a tribesman who’s playing guessing games. Writers were really high when they wrote that.

6. Lack of the four nations’ biodiversity

Maybe in live action, it’s difficult to create all the marvels of the four nations when we talk about their natural biodiversity. In the OG series, it is indicated by Aang that even after 112 years, he has still not forgotten the animals that define different regions in the four kingdoms and that’s exactly why he wants to finish those “important tasks” alongside saving the world. His important tasks included keeping a check on the natural biodiversity of the lands and exploring whether the Hundred Years’ War had not damaged the majestic animals. Actually, his first dialogue right after regaining consciousness is to go for an otter penguin’s ride with Katara. When I thought about that I felt that somewhere in Aang’s mind he was always connected to nature and that’s why he wanted to regain that connection by being an avatar. Sadly we never see much of the biodiversity but I hoped that maybe they will.

Also, how come Aang had that silent whistle for one hundred years when in the series he only discovers that accidentally? I missed the OG Yip Yip for our Appa. There are lots and lots of problems with the Netflix version, and no I am not being a nitpicker. I appreciate how the current creators credited the original ones, but now I know why Bryan and Michael bade farewell to this project. On a scale of 10, it’s a 4 for me or 4.5 if I am being too generous.

If I am asked to review the live action in a single line, I would only say this:

“The Netflixed ATLA makes you go back to the OG series and you end up watching the animation to give your mind a much-needed respite from a carefully crafted artistic disaster aimed at the sensationalized generation.”

#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla live action #atla netflix #avatar aang #atla katara #avatar zuko #avatar roku #avatar the legend of aang #iroh & zuko #zutara atla #kataang #avatar canon #avatar review

[futbol16]

Make The First Move  • Fridolina Rolfö

Requests: the things i would do for a part 2 (or more:)) for princess charming/rölfö 

pls pls plscan we get a part 2 to princess charming?

Please let there be a part two. 

Word count: 3k

The long awaited part 2 to Princess Charming. I hope it was worth the wait :)

It’s not often that Fridolina stays up late. She almost never does. She valued her sleep too much to be awake for longer than necessary and everyone knew this. Which is why it surprises not only Mapi but also Magda, who’s three countries away from her, when they both get separate texts at 1am. 

Truthfully neither of her teammates should’ve been awake at this hour of the night either, but as the blondes’ eyes scan over the text, they think this is more important than getting their full eight hours of sleep. 

‘When did you know you were gay?’

Mapi’s first reaction is to grin, she grins so hard her lips almost split. She knows exactly why the Swede was asking such questions, or more so, who made her question it all.

Magda eyes the text with curiosity though, her brows furrowed together and her mouth hanging slightly agape. Was this real?

Meanwhile, Frido stares at her contacts list in nervousness as she bites at her nails, anxiously waiting for an answer from one of the two. She almost drops her phone on her face when it buzzes with notifications but she’s quick to reach for the device again. 

She gets two very different answers and she resists from rolling her eyes at one of them, only for the purpose of this actually being a serious topic for her.

‘I wasn’t completely sure until I met Pernille, but I knew the moment I looked into her eyes. Why, has anything happened?’ read the first from her captain and then her eyes moved lower to Mapi’s text.

‘Always. Girls are hot as fuck, respectfully. You fancy the German?’ her phone buzzes again.

‘Y/N Y/L/N is who I was referring to’ this time she doesn’t hold back the eye roll, though just a moment later she inhales sharply as she pictures your cocky smile in front of her. The blush that rises to her cheeks is inevitable and Fridolina pulls a face at her reaction, unsure how to digest her feelings. 

With a frustrated sigh the blonde drops her phone onto her nightstand face down and with another sigh she pulls the covers higher up her body. Frido allows herself to relax, ready to finally succumb to sleep. That doesn’t happen though, because she can’t let her mind rest. Or rather, her mind doesn’t allow her to rest. Her thoughts force her to stay awake for the next hour until exhaustion takes over her and her eyelids finally stay shut. 

The following days pass by in a similar manner; the blonde’s head in the clouds and her nails ruined from her constantly biting them. After Mapi’s initial text message, Frido assumed she would receive nothing but teasing remarks from the defender. And she did, Mapi León never one to disappoint in that area. However, she was pleasantly surprised when her friend decided to help her out, to help her figure out her feelings and her sexuality.

It was a big thing. The whole sexuality question. She had never questioned that part of herself before, always assuming that just like it was pictured in the films she grew up watching, she would have her blonde prince charming walk into her life one day and eventually there would be a ‘happily ever after’. 

It was crazy to think that all it took was one person for Fridolina to change her mind. Truthfully, it took one smile, one flash of your dazzling smile for her to pause for a moment and think about why there were butterflies in her stomach. Then it took her five days to come to terms with the possibility that you might’ve been her gay awakening. And on that same day, she realized that on top of all of that, she definitely had a thing for you. 

Some kind of thing. That’s all she could call it for now because it was so new to her, feeling like this towards a girl when she had never for a second questioned her sexuality in any way before.

Slowly though, Mapi helped her to understand these foreign feelings. Fridolina, in a weird way, was incredibly thankful for having so many gay teammates because they were all there for her, ready to answer any questions she had, ready to tell her about their own stories of ‘gay awakenings’. 

By the end of the month, she was comfortable enough with the knowledge that she wasn’t heterosexual and she allowed her friends’ teasing to resume. 

“So? Are you finally going to tell me who caused you to have your first ever gay panic?” Magda raised an eyebrow at her national teammate who couldn’t help but smile back at the screen of her phone.

“I don’t know” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” the captain’s voice cracked through the phone’s speakers. Fridolina bit back a smile, her mind already elsewhere as she thinks back to the night of that match against Bayern. The way you smirked at her after your goal, how your eyes sparkled in a playful way as she fell on you, hips flush together. 

‘Easy there, pretty girl’ your words echo in her head, your voice makes her go crazy in ways she didn’t think possible but she secretly likes the feeling.

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” Magda’s voice snaps her out of her daydreaming and her head snaps back towards the screen to find her captain smirking at her. Clearly, the deep blush coating her cheeks and the prolonged silence from her end of the call didn’t go unnoticed by the Chelsea captain. 

A sheepish look spreads across Frido’s face and she shrugs lightly, her smile confirming Magda’s question. 

“Come on tell me about herrr!” the excited whine makes both of them snicker before the taller of the two lets out a sigh, thoughts again occupied by you.

“She plays for Bayern Munich. And she’s strong, very strong - but all of them are, it’s like a Bayern thing - anyway. She looks so good in red. She’s like the next Alex Popp-” she’s cut off by a gasp, followed with a smack.

“Y/N Y/L/N?! SHE’S THE ONE?!” Magda exclaims loudly, gaining Pernille’s attention who’s sat a few feet away from her in the living room. Fridolina’s eyes widen, her brows furrowing in confusion.

“How did you-”

“Oh come on Frido, she's the top scorer in the Bundesliga and all of the German news is about her. ‘Y/N Y/L/N is the successor of German legend Alex Popp’. How do you not know?” the Swede recites the latest news article she’s seen and Pernille chuckles behind her girlfriend. 

“That just makes it sound like she’s Popp’s daughter” Frido pulls a face, once again. Magda now looks at her girlfriend and the two share a knowing look as she attempts to divert the topic of the conversation.

“Good choice though, very good taste” Pernille comments, now standing beside Magda as she rests an arm around her shoulders. Magda’s mouth falls open in mock hurt but the Dane is quick to ease her outburst. “What? I’m just saying she could have liked some weird hippie or something - I don’t know - as her first girl crush. Y/N’s a great choice.” 

“Yeah, I gotta give that to you” 

“Guys? I’m still here” Fridolina jokes but the two instead chuckle at her pink cheeks.

“We know, we’re talking about you in your presence.”  Magda shrugs cheekily before realization dawns on her and she grins at her Swedish teammate. “But this is perfect actually, you’ll get to see her soon!” 

“What are you talking about?” Fridolina almost drops the device in her hands, a sudden nervousness overcoming her senses.

“You guys have a friendly against the Germans this international break” Pernille informs her, seemingly knowing her schedule better than the Swede does. The couple eye their friend with slight concern as her face pales and brightens a shade of red at the same time. 

“Oh shit” 

Sure enough, just a week later Frido finds herself walking out behind her national teammates, clad in her yellow kit. She’s anxious as she subtly fidgets with the end of her shirt, yet as she turns her head to glance at your face, she knows it isn’t the game she’s nervous about. 

The match is pretty intense with both teams in their best forms but Germany manage to have more shots on goal than the Scandinavians. Unsurprisingly, it is you who scores the first goal of the game and when you celebrate you make sure to run past Fridolina, a smirk resting on your face as you raise an eyebrow in her direction. Frido can’t find it in herself to get upset at your antics, instead the tips of her ears redden and she tries to conceal the small smile on her face. 

It’s only when her eyes connect with her captain’s does she put on her game face again. She’d have time to admire you after the match. 

As much as the tall blonde tries to focus on the task at hand, it becomes apparent very quickly that she’s struggling. Just like last time, her gaze never wanders from you. It’s like you have some pull on her and more often than not the blonde has to snap back to reality after staring at you for just a bit too long. Her distraction doesn’t show in her play however, which she is incredibly thankful for but it isn’t enough for Sweden to equalize. 

The team clad in yellow does get one last chance to equalize before the final whistle would be blown and it’s in the form of a corner kick. Both teams crowd in the penalty box area and Merle Frohms can just barely see through the mass of footballers. 

The pull you seemed to have on Frido is now working in the opposite direction as you find yourself standing directly behind the blonde. It’s a tight space with both her and your own teammates pushing to get closer to one another and the goal, but amongst the many bodies, your hands find a place on your favorite Swede’s waist. 

Your hold is gentle yet firm - the opposite of your aggressive and intense style of play - and Frido immediately freezes at the touch, her eyes slightly widened and a light blush coating her cheeks. She takes a small step back as Hanna Glas’ ponytail swings in front of her and she finds herself pressed closer to you, your body heat warm against her back. 

Your own breath gets caught in your throat at close proximity and if the girl in your arms were to turn around she’d be met with a blushing mess, a rare sight from you. You swallow hard as your fingers twitch against her curves but you do pay attention to what is happening at the corner flag. 

Frido silently thanks her teammate for misplacing the ball and the referee whistling at her to fix the positioning, because it allows her to feel you close for just that bit longer. 

Her hands slowly come up to her waist and your hold loosens as you think she’s about to push your hands off. Fridolina is quick to grab them before they can leave her body and she holds them for just a second, contemplating what her move was going to be. However, your hands slip out of her fingers as you jump and head out the incoming ball from near your team’s goal.

 The blonde forward has her mouth hung open at the seemingly sudden and unexpected action. She lowers her head in embarrassment of not realizing that the corner had been taken and not doing her job at trying to head it in the goal. 

There’s not much time to dwell about her supposed mistake as just five minutes later the final whistle is blown, signaling the end of the friendly.

“Go to her” a voice rings out next to her while she shakes Lea Schüller’s hand and Fridolina turns to her captain. Magda nods her head towards your direction and her eyes follow. 

She’s met with the sight of your arm around Jule Brand’s shoulders, the young player leaning into your stronger body. The smile on your face is big and warm as you listen to Jule whose eyes shine with wonder as you press a kiss to the crown of her head. 

Fridolina’s insides melt at the protective and loving behavior from you, her heartbeat quickening as a smile washes over her expression.

“Are you sure I should?” 

“Ja, go Frido. This is your chance” Magda pushes at her shoulder gently, an encouraging expression on her face as she offers her friend a comforting smile. 

“Talk to her. She wants you too” the blonde nods in thought, wondering how Magda would know that, and her feet carry her towards you before she can think about quitting and turning around. 

The Wolfsburg player’s voice comes to a sudden halt as she eyes the Swedish woman in front of her, her head still resting comfortably on your shoulder. When Jule lifts her head and turns to you, it only takes her one look at the way you’re gazing at Rolfö and the curve of your smile to decide that she should leave the two of you alone.

“Good game” you break the silence as you stick your hand out. Fridolina’s smile is hard to miss as she takes hold of your hand but it soon turns into a nervous smile as her hand remains in your own. You’re not one to complain however and instead of letting go you gently pull on her hand.

“Come with me” you gesture towards the tunnel, far too aware of the amount of people watching from the stands of the stadium. The blonde gives you a nod and the two of you walk side by side holding hands as you hide in the tunnel. 

Thoughts are running wild as Magda’s words echo in Fridolina’s head. ‘This is your chance’ and with that the taller girl clears her throat as the two of you come to a stop in the tunnel of the stadium. Your eyes snap to her and for a moment the blonde gets lost in the warmth of your gaze. 

“So um… I wanted to tell you..” she exhales lowly, wondering how she was supposed to do this thing. You squeeze her fingers and she nods to herself. 

“I- really, uhm, I just…” Fridolina closes her eyes in frustration, dropping her head before picking it up again. The corners of your lips tick upwards, finding her nervous behavior absolutely adorable. 

When her eyes flutter open she’s met with your shimmering ones, a look of adoration plastered over your face. A hand reaches out to her face but Frido’s gaze doesn’t move from you as you gently push a strand of hair behind her ear, it having fallen out of her ponytail.

“Don’t stress that pretty head of yours.” your voice made her bite her lower lip and you smirked at the sight. 

“Just do it how you would if I were a man.” it seems like you knew exactly what made this so difficult for her. It also seemed that you knew exactly what she was going to say. ‘She wants you too’ and now she believes her captain’s statement, otherwise you wouldn’t be encouraging her to continue. 

“I can’t.” she huffed out and you chuckled quietly. “It’s different.”

“What makes it different? Other than the obvious” you reveled in the small laugh you got out of her, the sound easing the nervous tension radiating off the beautiful girl in front of you.

“I’d let him make the first move” Fridolina admitted and your smile widened as she seemed to have finally found her voice. 

You carefully placed a hand on her waist and you looked up at her in silent question, asking if what you were doing was okay. When all you received was a dazed look and a slow nod, you proceeded. The butterflies in the Swede’s stomach were going insane as you gently pulled her closer to you and her hands landed on your collar bone. 

“You’re so beautiful” you whispered, not wanting to break the bubble the two of you have created. At the same time you were thankful that both of your teams seemed to be taking their time on the pitch. Fridolina’s cheeks burned a deep shade of red at your compliment and she tilted her head to the side a little. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never- this is just all so new to me, but I want to…” she trailed off in her confession and you nodded at her, feeling special that she allowed you to see her this vulnerable. You understood that it was difficult for her to voice just what she felt for you.

“It’s okay.” you gave her waist a gentle squeeze and smiled at the girl in front of you, the sparkle in your eyes never faltering. “We can take it as slow as you’d like”

The assurance made Frido’s heart swell yet she wanted nothing more than to allow herself to fall into your embrace. Her eyes lowered to your lips and her own mouth parted slightly. You watched how her eyes darkened and your smile was replaced with desire. 

“Maybe we can go faster” Frido breathed out as she leaned closer, your own gaze tracing the curve of her lips.

“Whatever you want” and with that you closed the last bit of distance and connected your lips. It was tentative at first as you allowed the blonde to test the waters but it seems like she already knows what she wants.

Frido’s brows knit together as pleasure courses through her whole body and her arms made their way around your neck to bring you even closer, effectively deepening the kiss. 

In that moment, with your bodies flushed and your arms around her waist holding her close and her lips attached to yours in desperation, Frido knows she has nothing to question.

You were her princess charming and she liked it that way.

#futbol16 #woso imagine #woso x reader #fridolina rolfo x reader