#one of my all time favourite poems but nobody ever knows what i'm talking about when i say it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoidn · 10 months

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okay so i watched all eight episodes of 1899 in one go on monday and i cannot stop Having Thoughts. quite honestly it is the most superbly executed narrative i've ever encountered outside of literature. the sheer thematic scope and complexity is breathtaking. THEY WROTE A GREEK TRAGEDY about all my favourite things and it begins with an emily dickinson poem. !!! the universe was aiming its arrow right at my brain with this one.

(so of course it wasn't renewed. given that la révolution also wasn't renewed, i'm forced to conclude that tptb at netflix have something against thoughtful and nuanced excellence in storytelling.)

this is one of those times i especially miss metafandom because i'm sure there've been discussions about everything my brain is yelling at me but how the hell does one find the good shit anymore? or even the bad shit, for that matter. so here you go, tumblr frēonds, have yet another brain dump that nobody asked for or cares about.

a list of topics covered by 1899 that i recall after watching the entire thing once, in no particular order:

the nature of identity

the nature of reality

how grief warps both the self and the perception of reality

the often inexplicable nature of trust

the human brain's capabilities

the inherent untrustworthiness of memory and the irony that it's all we have

explorations of female identity

the many meanings of freedom

communication!! — trying to understand and be understood through barriers of language, of levels of reality, of technology

the destructive nature of religious zealotry (and christianity in general *internal sigh*)

classism

patriarchy

homophobia (both social and internalised)

the beautiful and horrific acts humans will commit in the name of love

the looming shadow of the male authority figure

space as a concept, both literal and psychological: liminal spaces, confinement

'the odyssey', obviously

the trope of the mad woman in the attic (this one gets its own post because I Have A Lot To Say)

now let's talk ancient greek references!

[1] the names of both ships come from ancient greek mythology: prometheus stole fire from the gods to give to humans and was sentenced to eternal punishment; kérberos (or cerberus) was the multi-headed dog who guarded the gates of the underworld to prevent the dead from leaving.

[2] in ancient greek philosophy, there were four classical elements; this concept was taken up in western alchemy, which made a hobby out of giving everything a glyph or symbol. the symbols of the four elements are triangles:

🜂 = fire 🜄 = water 🜁 = air 🜃 = earth

[3] it's been four months since the prometheus went missing. what, i wondered, is the significance of the number 4? in greek numerals 4 is represented as Δ´. oh, look, a triangle. and what's a triangle in three-dimensional space? a pyramid. and what's a pyramid geometrically speaking? a tetrahedron! which has 4 faces and 4 vertices. it's also the smallest possible platonic solid and plato associated it with the element fire. i don't know enough about geometry or philosophy to take these associations any further, but, as shakespeare would say, come the futtock on. this level of detail is RIDICULOUS and EVERYTHING TO ME.

#1899 #1899 netflix #it's not a show it's a FIELD OF STUDY #alas metafandom we knew ye #yes i did quote upstart crow #i regret nothing

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anonymous-swiftie · 4 years

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If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

#swifties #taylor swift #folkore #music #ts spoilers #lover taylor swift #taylornation #swiftified13 #day 13 #pop music #books and libraries #writers #history #musicians #quotes #loneliest #love taylor #hopes and dreams

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paradox-psyc-hoe-sis · 4 years

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Remus Lupin dating a hufflepuff would include...

Remus lupin x hufflepuff!reader, the marauders x platonic reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: no smut but talk of sexy times (sfw)

A/N: I'm back, babey! Recently took a smol hiatus but I'm back and better than ever. Here are some headcanons of what life would be like dating young Remus Lupin as a hufflepuff; I might do something similar with the different houses and the other marauders, but idk yet. As per usual, if you want a request then by all means shoot me a message! I write for the umbrella academy, marvel and Harry Potter so feel free to request anything :)) - Aphrodite

(Also I'm sorry I didn't spell check this, please forgive me)

• Every moment between you two was adorable!

• Being the semi-traditionalists that you were, it was a mutual agreement to take things slow and steady. But Remus was so infatuated with you - and you with him - that neither could deny the ever growing spark you shared.

• He'd always invite you on study dates in the library every Saturday, but most of the time it was just an excuse to see more of you.

• You'd always bring along a snack from the kitchens to the library, a different pastry or bake every week.

• "Guess who brought muffins!!!"

• When you aren't looking, he likes to leave cute messages on post it notes and hide them in your bag or throughout your books.

• "The only thing sweeter than those muffins is you, my love"

• You totally know when he does it, you've caught him a few times.

• However, you like to return the favour.

• "Maybe next time we 'study', you can let me Slytherin to your arms for cuddles"

• He loves the puns you make. Despite always being followed by an eye roll, he really does love them.

• He keeps all his notes from you in his bedside table and will read them after a particularly rough full moon 🥺

• Obviously, Remus was terrified to tell you his secret, but it went less dramatically than he thought it would.

• When you acted so truly selfless and reassured him that you'd be there for him no matter what, it really made him tear up. You promised to always be there after every full moon.

• You two can always be found cuddling in the gryffindor dormitories, 24/7.

• When you have a free period or a day free from studying, Remus will sneak you past the common room and into the dorms, where you'll just lay in his bed. All day.

• He's definitely the big spoon, he loves to hold you as tight as he can. But sometimes you'll lay your head on his chest, facing the ceiling, and he'll run his fingers through your hair.

• The boy is a human radiator, so you could practically hug him and his warmth all day long.

• One time you slept over with the rest of the marauders, and upon waking up, realised you had started your period. On Remus's sheets.

• "Hey, it's alright. I know this stuff happens, let's get you cleaned up."

• He was so mature about it all that you probably fell in love there and then.

• While you had a shower and changed the sheets, he went to Hogsmeade with James to get you some pads and snacks.

• Not needing a heating pad because he's just so damn warm gosh darn it

• While you and Remus were growing closer, you had an unexpected friendship with Sirius.

• I say unexpected, as when you first met you were positive he'd be trouble.

• "Moony, you never told me you were dating a hufflepuff! What a cute little cupcake she is." (Delivered with a wink)

• Let's just say, you may or may not have threatened to "shave off your pretty little locks if you call me a cupcake again."

• Although, this rivalry soon turned into friendship when you realised your senses of humour were identical.

• When Remus is busy and can't hang out with you, Sirius will take you to hogsmeade or play a game of chess to pass the time.

• Funnily enough, Sirius became oddly protective of you, letting Remus know that if he ever hurt you he'd be dead.

• Remus was always calling you a cute name, despite the circumstance.

• His favourite things to call you were babe, sweetheart, love, and snickerdoodle.

• You just stuck with calling him Remy, Moony, or honey (he'd never admit it, but he loves when you call him 'honeybuns')

• Remus is smart, and so are you. But when you're together, you share half a braincell.

• He's literally such a dumbass.

• "Babe, do you think toads can sense fear?"

• Cue you looking into the camera like Jim in the office.

• Whenever somebody tries to make any comments about Remus being a werewolf you are the first person to defend him.

• Nobody was afraid of you lashing out because you're "just a harmless hufflepuff". Their opinions changed when you punched a Slytherin prefect in the face for calling Remus a monster.

• At night, you'll both sneak out of the common rooms and meet in the kitchens for midnight snacks.

• You making some tea, and him eating some chocolate while talking to the house elves.

• You were always the best in your year at herbology, Remus however didn't stand a chance. He wasn't terrible at it, but certainly needed your help during lessons.

• "Y/n...what in God's name is that!?"

"...babe that's a celery."

• The summer between fourth and fifth year, he had the worlds biggest growth spurt.

• He was a little bit taller than you before, but when you returned to school for fifth year, he towered over you like a half-giant.

• This means that you could steal his fuzzy jumpers with them falling down to your knees.

• Sleepovers at the gryffindor dorms were a common occasion, but sometimes Remus would come to your common room late at night to have a dance party.

• Quietly playing the mixtape he made for you while you both danced around the area.

• You both had your first kiss towards the middle of fifth year, almost a year and a half after you first started dating.

• Remus came top of the class on an important DADA test. When he told you, you instinctively kissed him.

• You pulled away almost straight after, apologising for not asking for consent. Before you could say another word, he pulled you closer to him and placed another kiss on your lips, running a hand through the back of you hair.

• When you broke apart, you rested your forehead in the crook of his neck as he whispered in your ear.

• "I love you, y/n."

"I love you more, Remus."

• He wasn't really a big fan of PDA, but would happily do whatever you wanted.

• When the marauders were planning a prank, Remus made sure you were as far away from the action as possible.

• "What if we get y/n to be the bait? She could get-"

"James, there is no way y/n is going to jump into the great lake with weights ties to her ankles."

• You both did it for the first time near Christmas of sixth year.

• Peter was long gone home. James and Sirius had both left that morning to go back to the Potter's, offering you both a place to stay for the holidays. However, you were both happy to get some alone time.

• In the evening, he lit candles in the dorm and did cute stuff like that.

• He was so so nervous, but was still a gentlemen through and through, always asking if you're comfortable and making sure what he's doing is okay.

• It was really sweet, and both of you were really happy afterwards.

• Sometimes you'd share a bath with him in the prefects bathroom. The rest of the marauders always joked about how there'd be a bit more than bathing involved, but they were wrong.

• When you would share a bath, Remus would bring a book and read to you, doing silly voices for each of the characters just to see you smile. Neither of you ever did the Devil's Tango in the prefects bath, as it was always just for a nice relax.

• Speaking of books, Remus was always reading one. Sometimes you'd cuddle up next to him while he read, and he'd quietly read each line.

• Sometimes you'd do the same, reciting small poems from muggle books.

• He never told you, but after you had your first kiss his boggart changed. It changed from the moon to himself as a werewolf, holding your dead body.

• Gruesome, he knew, but it was significant to him.

• Along with his boggart changing, your patronus changed. In your third year you learned how to conjure a patronus, and yours was a porcupine. Yet in your sixth year, you discovered it to be a werewolf.

• Remus full on cried happy tears when he found out.

• After the worst full moon yet, Remus ended up in the hospital wing for 5 days. He was found unconscious, and woke up 2 days later to see you and Madam Pomfrey by his side.

• You took notes for him in class, brought him a few new books and bars of chocolate, and spent every free moment in the hospital wing with him.

• He had three long slashes across his face when you found him in the shrieking shack, yet he looked so calmly asleep.

• "When you told me you wanted to start having lie-ins, I didn't think you'd sleep for two days straight."

• You were the first person he wanted to see after such a terrible night, and despite your jokes, he was so grateful to have you next to him.

• "I hope you're not going to break up with me now that I'm ugly."

"You? Ugly? How could you ever think such a thing?"

• On valentines day, he enlisted the help of the marauders to make things perfect.

• After a date at Madam Puddifoots, you returned to Remus's dorm to a beautiful view.

• Fairy lights were strung along the bed frames, rose petals in a trail along the floor, your favourite scented candles burning on the bedside tables, and a teddy bear bigger than your entire body sat on Remus's bed.

• Turning around to face your boyfriend, you saw that he held 3 boxes wrapped in red paper.

• "Happy valentines day, m'love"

• Placing the gifts on the bed closest to him, he picked you up and wrapped you in a bear hug.

• You crocheted him a jumper in his house colours and got him a leather bound copy of his favourite book.

• He made you a bar of chocolate with your favourite flavours, bought you a chunky cardigan that he knew you wanted, and placed a painted, small wooden box in your hands.

• "Open the box, love." He stated with a smile. He seemed a little nervous, but eased up as he saw you smile.

• Inside the box was two aeroplane tickets to Paris.

• "It's not much, but I was wondering if you'd come with me this summer?"

• This was followed by a lot of happy screams, to say the least.

• When quidditch season came around, you both loved to support the other's house.

• You'd sport Remus's red and yellow jumpers when gryffindor was playing, and he would go all out with yellow and black spirit when it was a hufflepuff match.

• However, when it was hufflepuff against gryffindor things got way too competitive.

• You didn't speak to Remus for a week after gryffindor won.

• "Come on babe, just talk to me! I didn't mean it when I said that hufflepuffs are as good at quidditch as they are at their owls!"

• Professor Mcgonagall didn't really know much about you, being from a different house and all, but she saw how much Remus changed being with you.

• He seemed really well taken care of, and for once he was unconditionally happy.

• After dinner one night, Mcgonagall asked to see you in her office.

• "I just wanted to say thank you for taking such good care of Mr Lupin. It may be unprofessional for me to see him as a son, but I do, and I'm grateful that he has someone like you to support him."

• From that moment forward, she saw you as a daughter, and invited you to have tea with her every week.

• You didn't know it, but every full moon she'd add 50 points to hufflepuff, she could never thank you enough for looking after Remus.

• After you both graduated, you almost immediately moved in with each other.

• With the help of James and Lily, you bought a small cottage a few hours away from hogwarts.

• Every other wednesday, Sirius and Lily come around for a girls night while Remus and James catch up.

• A few months after you moved in together, Remus realised what he wanted, and for once he wasn't afraid to ask for it.

• It was a beautiful Saturday evening, the sky was purple from the sunset. Both of you were sat on the porch swing in your back garden, surrounded by magical plants and flowers, when he got down on one knee.

• "Y/n y/l/n, I've loved you since the day we met. I couldn't wish for anyone better than you, and it would be my dream to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

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