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sunny44 · 1 year

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Surprise

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x mom!wife! Reader

Warnings: just fluff

Summary: Surprising Lewis with little Hamilton’s first time in the paddock.

Lewis and I met in Spain when we were on vacation.

I was on vacation from my job and he was on summer break and by some kind of miracle we met in a bar.

I was alone drinking while my friends were dancing, I was excited that we were going to go out until minutes before my ex-boyfriend had the courage to send me an invitation to his wedding with the woman he cheated on me with.

My mother had sent me a message warning me because the address he knew was the address of my parents' house.

So this let me down completely.

Not that I was still in love with that idiot, far from it, but the fact that he had the courage to invite me made me realize that I have spent three years of my life with that person who didn't even deserve one month of my time.

And that's when Lewis showed up, I guess the fact that he found a sad woman in a bar, drinking alone on a Friday night caught his attention.

That's when we started talking and I as a person completely uninterested in any kind of sport didn’t knew who he was, in fact I only found out months later that we were already talking.

He didn't hide who he was, in fact he told me both his name and what he did, but he didn't specify that he was a formula 1 driver and that he was one of the best ones that existed.

We exchanged numbers and talked for months until he was in England for a race and invited me to go, this was when I fell in love with the sport but also where I realized how much damage it would do to my life just to be seen with him.

People found my social medias which at the time were bombarded with horrible comments about me and my appearance and that it was impossible for him to be with a person like me.

It was then where I became terrified and distanced myself a bit from him because of this. After much insistence he managed to convince me to go out to dinner with him.

That same night he was honest with me, that if we decided to try to have a relationship unfortunately it would be like that, people hating me without even knowing me and telling lies about me.

In other circumstances I would have walked away because this life of being known was not for me, I liked being unknown to the public eye and that the amount of people who would judge me would be less than being the girlfriend of the most famous Formula One driver.

But I knew that if I didn't take the risk I would miss out on one of the best things that would happen in my life, and now I'm sure I would have regretted it.

Lewis and I have been together for 5 years now, and every day I realize how much in love with him I am.

The first years of our relationship were very hectic, the weeks away for races and events, the thousands of messages exchanged during the day and FaceTime calls at night, and those were also the most complicated years of the relationship.

It was like a test, a test to know if the relationship would survive the thousands of lies about betrayal from both parts, the manipulated photos to look like things that weren’t true, the nights of crying and tears for not knowing what to believe even though we were absolutely sure that everything was just a big lie.

I'm sure these years were essential for both of us to learn to trust each other.

——————

It was the weekend of the Silverstone GP and I had lied to Lewis that I couldn't go because I had a lot of work to do, but in fact here was Luke and I in the car heading to the track.

Lucas Hamilton was our 3 year old son. This would be his father's first race that he would be watching straight from the garage.

When we found out that I was pregnant, we agreed that above all, Luke would be preserved from the toxicity of the internet. His fans knew that he existed and also knew his name because when he was born we thought it was only fair that the fans knew about him from us and not from the paparazzi, but they had never seen more than a small body in the pictures we posted.

Lewis had already shown interest in taking the little one to watch him race but I still didn't feel comfortable about showing him to the world, but I knew how much he wanted me to go this weekend and I also knew how upset he was that I couldn't go.

So nothing better than to surprise him with our presence plus Luke's first time.

Toto had helped me with the plan, sent me the paddock passes and let the security guards know that I would be here.

I got out of the car, I put the paddock passes on mine and Luke’s neck and carefully pulled him out of the car.

"Where's daddy?" He asks as soon as I lock the car and we start walking towards the paddock.

"We're going to go see him now okay?" He agrees and takes my hand again as soon as we enter the paddock

As soon as they recognized me the cameras all turned to me and with Lewis Hamilton's faceless son along it was as if the photographers multiplied.

As we were getting close to the garage, Lewis was coming out of it with Roscoe along with him and as soon as Luke saw him he let go of my hand and came out screaming.

"Daddy." Lewis recognized that little voice on and he opened the most beautiful smile as soon as he saw his son running up to him, even Roscoe started barking.

"Hey buddy." He bent down and picked him up on his hip. "What are you doing here?"

"Me and mommy came to see you." He says excitedly and soon he sees me. "I missed you daddy."

"I missed you too buddy." Just then the three of them come toward me. "You said you were going to work."

"I lied, I wanted to surprise you."

"You sure surprised me." He gives me a kiss.

"It's bad to lie mommy."

"It really is, isn’t." Lewis says in a teasing tone. "We're going to have to ground Mommy."

"That's right."

"Are you taking your father's side?" He agrees.

Luke was definitely a daddy's boy, besides being an exact copy of Lewis, even more now that he’s bigger, the only thing that’s the same as me is the eyes, Lewis has dark eyes and mine’s are green.

"Daddy can I sit in your car?"

"Of course you can, let’s ask uncle Toto to give you some gloves too, come on."

We pulled into the garage where Lewis put Luke into the car, after we were together for a while Lewis had to go because the race was going to start and when he won we ran to the front of the podium where as soon as he jump out of the car he came running over to where we were.

And I could have sworn that this race was the most special one for him.

Bonus scene!

Y/nhamilton instagram post

Liked by @lewishamilton, @anthonyhamilton, @mercedesf1, @sebastianvettel and others 91939

Y/nhamilton The best Weekend we had in a long time. Me and Luke had the best time here in Silverstone and there’s nothing better than an F1 race, specially when daddy win the race.

Thanks to everyone that came to support my husband, Lewis and our family really appreciate the love.

Tagged: @lewishamilton

LewisHamilton thanks for everything, you are the best mama and I’m so lucky to have you. Thanks for bringing our baby boy to the race.

Y/nhamilton we love you so much

Sebastianvettel so nice to see the two of you this weekend, beautiful family

Y/nhamilton thank you Seb, we have to plan a meeting with the kids

Yourmom miss you guys so much, the three of you have to come visit. He also looks a lot like Lewis.

Liked by LewisHamilton and y/nhamilton

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nerdygaymormon · 5 months

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Queer Gospel Music

This past year I came across several songs that I enjoy listening to on Sundays. I created a playlist for myself for Sundays and thought I'd share with y'all.

Yet : Ashley Hess - Ashley Hess was a finalist on the 2019 season of American Idol. I heard her perform this song at the Gather Conference where she introduced it by saying, "The next song that I'm gonna play is a song that I wrote in my lowest time. But it's a song that's so special to me because it was the moment that I felt like I finally came out of hiding, and that the Lord not only saw me, but loved me and embraced me." I can relate so much to that. Plus, I don't hear many songs from the perspective of "I'm trying, so God please don't give up on me."

God Loves Me Too : Brian Falduto - Brian played the gay kid in the movie School of Rock, and catapulted the character into an LGBTQ icon when he delivered the line “You’re tacky and I hate you.” Now as an adult, Brian is back and singing that no one has to earn God’s love. Brian wrote the song after visiting a church that was welcoming and accepting of queer people. I look around and see I’ve found a place where peace and love abound. I’ve waited my whole life for the truth. It is true, God loves you. It don’t matter if you’re LGBTQ

My Little Prayer : David Archuleta - David wasn't out yet when he recorded this, but I imagine he really related to some of these lyrics, such as I'm beginning to understand that you (God) have a plan for me.

The Queer Gospel : Erin McKeown - I love these lyrics. There are those who think we're wicked. There are those who call us names: depraved, lost and sick, and would rather bathe us in shame. But we put the "sin" in sincere, we put the "do" in the doubt. God is perfectly clear. We are perfectly out. Love us as we are. See us and we're holy. In this shall we ever be wholly ourselves.

Good Day (feat. Derek Webb) : Flamy Grant - Matthew Blake was a worship leader for 22 years who has become a “shame-slaying, hip-swaying, singing-songwriting drag queen” named Flamy Grant (it's a play on the name of gospel singer Amy Grant). The lyrics talk of coming back to church after having left for feeling oppressed. They’ve come back to church because despite what some say, God’s love is expansive enough for everyone. God made me good in every way, so I raise my voice to celebrate a good day.

Believe : GENTRI - The pianist for this group is gay. After coming out, he was having a hard time with faith and was angry at God, and he felt God gave him this song as part of his healing process. Believe there is an answer. And while you feel you're buried deep in a disaster, believe more hands are waiting, ready to lift you up and carry you back to safety. You're not alone, keep holding on. And believe.

Explaining Jesus : Jordy Searcy - In 2014, Jordan was a contestant on The Voice. He grew up active in a church and since being on the television show he has written several religious songs, including this one. Jordy discusses the shortcomings of churches, comparing the ways in which church members act and interact with each other, including how they treat the gay community and oppress women. If you're gay and over 85, you've felt for your whole life that when God made you, he just messed up. In the chorus he apologizes that this has been the experience, I'm sorry no one explained Jesus to you.

Satan's Tears : Kyler O'Neal - Did anyone ask how real you are? Has anyone said that you are loved, or that you’re the one they’re dreaming of? Those questions start this beautiful song by trans woman Kyler O’Neal. The song addresses a young gender non-conforming person unaccepted by their world, and the singer promises to wipe away Satan’s tears which were created by a cruel society

Same Love : Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert - Macklemore sings that his gay uncles should be allowed to marry, and speaks of how Christianity has hurt gay people. "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five hundred years ago. The song concludes with Mary Lambert singing I’m not crying on Sundays, which I think means not letting religious intolerance and churches harm us anymore

No Place in Heaven : MIKA - Mika is singing about how religion teaches there’s no place in heaven for gay people because the way we love is sinful. Father, won’t you forgive me for my sins? Father, if there’s a heaven let me in

God Is : The Outer Banks - I don't know that they had queer people in mind when they wrote the song, but the lyrics relate to the conflict between one’s queerness and relationship with God. God was never angry. God was not against me. God was never far away. God is not disappointed.

I Know it Hurts : Paul Cardall & Tyler Glenn - I just wanted to believe, but how am I supposed to believe this about me? And then we find each other, queer church members who can understand what we’re going through, who know the hurt. For most queer people, they leave church and go on a different path. They’re not lost, a faint light at the end is guiding their way, they’re finding another way back home.

Losing My Religion : R.E.M. - The song was interpreted as the struggle of a closeted gay man coming to terms with what his religion taught about gay people and is seen as an example of queer coding in the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Lead singer Michael Stipe had declined to address his sexuality, so when “Losing My Religion” came out, people assumed Stipe was coming out as gay. Consider this the hint of the century. Consider this the slip.

HIM : Sam Smith - This is a song about a boy in Mississippi coming out and the conflict between his sexuality and his religious upbringing. He is grappling with the feeling that there’s no place in church for him because he’s gay. Holy Father, we need to talk. I have a secret that I can’t keep. I’m not the boy that you thought you wanted. Please don’t get angry, have faith in me.

Pray : Sam Smith - You won’t see Sam in church, but they say they’re a child of God at heart and are begging God to show the way. I’m not a saint, I’m more of a sinner. I don’t wanna lose, but I fear for the winners

Faith : Semler - This song reached No. 1 on the iTunes Christian music chart and is about growing up queer in a faith community and how the rejection by the church left them scarred. When my religion turned against me, they said my hopes and dreams were faulty. I showed these holes inside my hands, and they claimed they couldn’t see.” Even as they struggled with the church, Semler kept a relationship with Jesus and flourished far more than she did in any church building. But I don’t wanna get small to be in those rooms

Hey Jesus : Trey Pearson - Trey made headlines in 2016 when as the lead singer of the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, he came out as gay. Three years later and Trey has a question: Hey Jesus can you hear me now? It's been awhile since I came out, I was wonderin' do you love me the same? As a person who struggles to reconcile faith with sexual orientation, I find this song quite moving.

Heaven : Troye Sivan feat. Betty Who - Troye sings about what it’s like for a religious teenager to come out as gay. Without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven? Without changing a part of me, how do I get to heaven? All my time is wasted, feeling like my heart’s mistaken, oh, so if I’m losing a piece of me, maybe I don’t want heaven? Troye explains “When I first started to realise that I might be gay, I had to ask myself all these questions—these really really terrifying questions. Am I ever going to find someone? Am I ever going to be able to have a family? If there is a God, does that God hate? If there is a heaven, am I ever going to make it to heaven?” The video features footage from LGBTQ+ protests throughout history.

Revelation : Troye Sivan and Jónsi -This song was written for the movie Boy Erased, which is about a young man being sent by his parents to a conversion therapy camp to try to change him to not be gay. The lyrics are about feeling liberated from the toxic teachings he learned at church about LGBTQ+ people. It’s a revelation. There’s no hell in what I’ve found, and no kingdom shout. How the tides are changing as you liberate me now and the walls come down. In other words, God doesn't condemn me for my queerness.

Orphans of God : Ty Herndon & Kristin Chenoweth feat. Paul Cardall - The message of the song is we are all loved by God, we are all thought about, we are all created equally and God loves us all the same.

Midnight : Tyler Glenn - The Neon Trees frontman gives an emotional song about his departure from the Mormon church but not from God. The ballad is accompanied by a video that shows Glenn removing his religious garments and replacing them with a glittery jacket, which is such a powerful metaphor.

#queerstake

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f0point5 · 7 months

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I really love thinking about the nicknames that drivers are given.

For the Ferraris there’s il predestinato/maranello’s sun and smooth operator/chili.

Like one has the weight of a nation on his shoulders, predestined to be glorious and bring back the championship to Maranello. He is the golden boy who’s grown in front of their eyes.

The other sang a song during a race and he’s spicy???

Then with the mercs you have billion dollar man and Mr. Saturday.

Lewis Hamilton is just that guy, he’s known by all and all that. He’s got the records/wins/championships/investments/money. And George does really good on Saturdays.

With hulkenberg it’s just hulk because it’s in his name.

The Red Bulls you have super max and the Mexican minister of defense. Which are both great nicknames to have, but then you look at Checo’s 2023 season and you have to question it. Max also had mad max for his ability to terrorize all the older drivers with moves they thought were insane.

Daniel’s got the honey badger and he’s made it his. He looks all nice and non threatening with all his smiles and jokes, but give him a good car this man will make your life miserable. (Nico Rosberg talking about how when he was with Merc and they were pitting none of them wanted to come out near Daniel because he’d either overtake you or not let you overtake him)

It’s so funny to compare the nicknames between teammates. Because one is usually something legendary and the other has a silly little fun nickname.

Personally I think Mr. Saturday should be revoked. He is Mr. Friday lately he doesn’t turn up on the weekends. Also, it’s a very smug sounding nickname which I guess suits George but it just annoys me. Also this is SO random but Mr. Saturday reminds me of “Mr. Exclusive” from Bruce Almighty for no reason.

The discrepancy between the Ferrari nicknames is staggeringggggg and I think it says it all really 😂 Il Predestinato sounds like something out of a book co-authored by Umberto Eco and Tolkien and Carlos’s friends drunkenly called him Charlie then Chilli and now it’s a thing…dead

I’ve got attached to the honey badger thing because Daniel wears it with such flair but ngl I hate it logically.

Checo…parliament is voting on a new minister after Brazil that’s all I’ll say on dat.

Mad Max was a very sexy nickname but I feel like it was kind of mean considering how many people still hold that aggression against him. Super Max for me always reminds me of that scene in DTS season 2 where Max wins at red bull ring with the Honda guy there and he’s crying when Max wins standing with Christian and he goes “super max” is a Japanese accent. It’s just the cutest thing! I sort of feel like Max deserves a more epic nickname but at the same time it’s sort of poetic that he has pretty standard ones despite all he’s achieved, because even if he’s the best there ever was he’s still so normal. Idk there’s synergy there.

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effervescentdragon · 7 months

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you get a part of redredred, the 2022 season sebchal that runs parallel to niamh's valewis. it follows the 2022 season and has flashbacks. its around 50k or more and dont think i'll ever finish it because it hurts, but who knows. 💜

Bahrain 2022

Seb wakes up on the couch and groans in discomfort. No matter how persistently he’d searched for the most comfortable couch out there, he still woke up hurting. It’s the age, not the couch, he thinks and sighs. Then he remembers yesterday.

A grin overtakes his face. Charles won.

Charles won, and Seb couldn’t help himself. He’d almost screamed when Charles was informed by Xavi that Max had engine problems, and hearing Charles scream and laugh in joy was… wonderful.

I’m not the last Ferrari GP winner, he thinks, and the thought doesn’t even hurt. Charles is, he thinks, and grabs his phone with a smile.

Two (2) new messages.

He’d congratulated only two people on the grid yesterday, because he couldn’t not. He was too tired to even contemplate picking up the call from Lance, or Lawrence, and he wanted to talk to Mick on the phone sometime today, because he knows that he would’ve taken finishing just out of the points very hard. He is still smiling as he opens the first message.

From: Charles

Please don’t hate me. Wish you were here.

His smile falls instantly.

“Fuck.”

Seb stares at the words on the screen. Please don’t hate me. Fuck. As if he would hate Charles, God. As if he could, for fucks’ sake. His head hurts. His fucking heart hurts.

“What have I done to you,” he mutters to himself, getting up to get some coffee. He knows he needs to eat, but he can’t stomach anything at the moment. He does take a glass of water and the coffee, and goes back to the couch.

One (1) new message.

“Fuck it,” he repeats. He needs to talk to someone. “Might as well.”

From: Lewis

Hey man, how are you? And thanks, I rly wasn't expecting it. It was a bouncy ride, a bit too bouncy if I'm being honest

Their chat history is open, the congratulatory message for the podium Seb had sent him the night before the last interaction they've had.

Seb hesitates for just a second, and then starts typing.

To: Lewis

Glad you made it through. I'm alright, feeling a bit better. Still tired though. How was Toto at the party? :)

From: Lewis

Susie was there, so you can imagine :) I think he wants to cut off even more parts from the car. He was pretty happy that ur home team had a bad day tho :)

Seb can't help but chuckle at that. The animosity between Christian and Toto always went deep, but it reached new heights in the last season. Seb gets it, and privately he thinks Toto is right about most things, but there is still a part of him that's probably always going to be uncomfortable about bad-mouthing Christian, even though the man has changed much throughout the years.

The fact that Lewis can tease him about Red Bull is a good sign, though. He still refuses to address them by name, which is a bit petty in Seb's opinion. Then again, Seb himself is far from being immune to pettiness.

To: Lewis

I know you don't mean Ferrari, because they wiped the floor with you :)

He regrets the message as soon as he sends it, especially when the answer comes back instantly.

From: Lewis

Yeah, Carlos was so good, man, easily one of his best drives. Your boy was on fire tho. The way he defended, damn. Did you see it?

Seb hates the way his pulse quickens. He hates the way Lewis' words make him feel. He shouldn't be feeling like this, because. Well. Because nothing and no one in Bahrain is his. Lewis' message is calculated to provoke him, but Seb doesn't mind it that much. He knows what his friend is doing - giving him a push and an out at the same time. It's on Seb to take it or leave it.

To: Lewis

Yeah, I watched the race. Wanted to see what the cars could do, and some of it was surprising. Good for Kevin and Mick :)

He pauses. He could leave it at that, and Lewis would accept it. They don't have to talk about it anymore. He can just leave it all at that.

Seb can't help himself. He never was one for avoidance; at least not with Lewis. Maybe only with Lewis.

To: Lewis

He's not my boy.

The reply is instantaneous.

From: Lewis

Not for lack of trying on his part

From: Lewis

Did you at least congratulate him?

Seb closes his eyes for a moment, covers them with his hand. He wants not to have this conversation. He wants a Jäger shot. He wants -

It doesn't matter what he wants. A lot of things don't matter, even though he wants them to. A lot of things matter, even though he tries to pretend they are as unimportant as possible.

Lewis could always see through him, though. Seb owes him honesty, and cares for him too much to try to mislead him; the only person he lies to regularly is himself, really. He appreciates Lewis too much to lie to him in any way. They’ve been through everything, and they’ve faced it all more or less together, and there was no reason anymore to keep up pretenses, when they knew one another inside and out in both the best and worst ways.

He knows why Lewis texted him, and he can't help but smile. Lewis always saw too much with those eyes of his, and he knew Seb needs the push.

To: Lewis

He asked me not to hate him.

To: Lewis

As if I ever could.

The reply is slow to come, or it just seems that way. Seb stares at his phone the whole time after sending the message, his heart in his throat. All the reasons for his avoidance of the topic come to mind, and he tries to take a deep breath to calm himself. He opens Lewis' message.

All that he manages to do is choke on air and almost cough out his lungs when Lewis' messages come in one after the other.

From: Lewis

I asked him if he wanted to be lifted in the air. He said, and I had to google this to write it right jsyk, "Nicht jetzt, danke". His pronunciation is terrible tho, worse than mine

From: Lewis

I think he missed you on the podium

From: Lewis

I think he misses you a lot

I miss him too, Seb thinks. I miss him so much, but it doesn't matter. It's better this way, Seb thinks. "Il Predestinato," he whispers to himself. He sighs and types.

To: Lewis

It's better like this.

Lewis' reply is angry, and Seb should have maybe expected it, but it still takes him aback.

From: Lewis

For fucking who, Seb?

Sebastian has committed himself to this course of action, or, well, inaction, and he will stick to it. He has to.

To: Lewis

For him. He has the car now, and his whole destiny. He is older, and more experienced, and he isn't impatient any more.

He hesitates, then adds on the phrase he's been repeating to himself for the past two years at least.

To: Lewis

He doesn't need me. Not anymore.

From: Lewis

Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep easier?

From: Lewis

You were always bad at lying, man, but this is just pathetic

Fuck, Seb thinks. Lewis always sees too much, and this time he's not backing off for some reason. "Fuck you," he says out loud to himself so he doesn't say it to Lewis in a fit of anger that's bubbling under his skin, because Lewis is right. Seb loves him and hates him for it equally.

Lewis is one of Sebastian's best friends on the grid, and the one who understands him the best in some ways. It wasn't always like that, but after 2016, many things have changed. Nico left, and Seb didn't think about that anymore, like he didn't think about many things anymore. In another life, where they weren't racing drivers and each others biggest competition for a whole decade, and where they met at a later point in life, and where there was no Nico and no Mark to shape them into who they were when the time was right, Seb would've been in love with Lewis, and vice versa. Maybe he is a bit in love with him anyways, because honestly, who isn't? Lewis is amazing, and kind, and one of the strongest people Seb knows, and he respects him too much as a person and a competitor, and loves him too much to push for something that just would not work. Not the way they are, and not with their history, and especially not in this world where both Valtteri Bottas and Charles Leclerc exist.

Because no matter how much Seb loves Lewis for pushing him, a part of him is angry, because Lewis is being such a hypocrite right now. He is right about Sebastian, but he is still being a hypocrite, and Seb is too tired and hurting a bit too much to let him get away with it.

To: Lewis

How's Valtteri?

He gets up and refills his coffee as he waits to see what Lewis will say.

From: Lewis

There's the bastard I know

From: Lewis

He's fine. Didn't ask me if i hated him, bcs I'm a normal person who still speaks to his former teammate and friend normally

To: Lewis

So you normally took him up on that normal coffee date?

From: Lewis

Fuck you

To: Lewis

Once wasn't enough for you? :)

Seb couldn't resist reminding Lewis of the one and only time they slept together in 2016 occasionally. It wasn't something either of them dwelled on needlessly, even though it was definitely some of the best sex Seb's ever had. It was fun, and amazing, and heart-breaking, and just an inch shy of too much at the same time, and neither of them ever regretted it. They did both agree the next morning not to repeat it, because the bruises they left on each other were just a bit too painful, and the way they looked at each other as they were fucking was just a bit too raw, and for the whole time their thoughts were just a bit too focused on the men who were their teammates, and they both knew it. Neither of them resented the other for it, and that fundamental understanding that it was just not the right time for them and it never would be may be the reason why they became and stayed such good friends.

From: Lewis

It was at least two times that night, and stop changing the subject :)

To: Lewis

I'm really not. It's the same thing.

From: Lewis

I know

From: Lewis

Man, where did all our bravery go?

To: Lewis

We left it on track sometime in late 2010's :)

From: Lewis

You might be right there

From: Lewis

Fuck we're old

Seb chuckles, because Lewis is both right and wrong. Being on top of the world in your early twenties screwed them both up in some fundamental way, and with both of them being overachievers and determined to win, their perception of the world and their age was impossibly skewered. Seb knows he is going to have to re-evaluate what he wants to do in his life again really soon, but that was a conversation for another time, and to be made in person. Another text from Lewis pulls him out of his thoughts.

From: Lewis

What will you do now?

Seb sighs for god-knows which time and scratches his beard. He should shave soon; he has that video-conference with Aston Martin on Wednesday, and he should look less like a hobo and more like a professional who has his life together. I should look less like a lovesick fool, he thinks and then rolls his eyes at his own propensity for dramatics.

To: Lewis

I have no idea. You?

Lewis' reply makes Seb bark out a laugh.

From: Lewis

Get a bloody muffin. Feelings are exhausting

To: Lewis

Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't talk about them then :)

Lewis doesn't reply, and Seb takes that as a sign that his friend is as tired as he is of the emotional turmoil they've both been going through. It's probably for the best. Seb needs to sleep some more, his body rebelling against even the little exertion he's had today.

He puts his phone on the table and lays on the couch. Maybe the universe will be merciful to him today, and he won't dream of heart-breaking eyes and French-accented voice speaking to him in terrible German.

#f1 rpf #trick or treat asks #effervescendragonwrites #imma tag this #sebchal #valewis #but also sewis #bcs its two of them here #naila 💜#redredred reference

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blorbocedes · 1 year

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ok, so i got into f1 through dts in the past few years, and then stumbled across the brocedes rabbit hole recently. before that i didn't really know/like nico at all, because everyone made out like he was awful and obsessed with lewis. but i've just been watching the 2016 season, and not only is nico actually really nice (especially when he keeps being booed by crowds for literally no reason) but i have to say that i was shocked by how unreliable both mercedes cars were in that season. like, people make it out as though lewis' car was breaking down all the time and nico's was perfect, but in almost every race where lewis had car issues, so did nico. even watching the sky sports coverage (where they do talk almost non-stop about lewis and are definitely biased towards him), the number of times that they interview niki or toto going 'oh it was a perfect race for nico but car issues for lewis' and toto or niki say that actually both cars had issues is insane. also, people keep saying that nico would deliberately speak foreign languages in the cooldown room to exclude lewis (which im obviously not discounting), but in almost all of the cooldown rooms that they've shown for this season, it's just really awkward and quiet as they don't talk to each other, or anyone at all really. i feel like nico has just been done so dirty by everyone

come here anon let me kiss you with tongue

i went through this exact journey of discovery too where I was like yeahhhh everyone hates this guy! boo 🍅🍅🍅 so I went looking deeper into why (so I can be an #informed hater) and then I was like HUH.... he's not the manipulative evil obsessed with lewis can't get over their past relationship dude he's portrayed in fanon or exacerbated by sky news. in fact he was well liked by the grid!!! he invited others on Air Rosberg so they could all go travel together. and don't get me started on The Narratives of it all. my man was getting booed at Silverstone or for beating lewis, and he was saying thank you to the fans... the tifosi booed him for winning Monza and he turned that around and made them sing with him!!! (and then kravitz called it embarrassing 😶)

the British sky coverage bias is SO real, and not do get me started on the crashes which are all framed as "Nico got envious and rammed into Lewis" and not the amount of times Lewis didn't leave enough space, or he was the one who caused it....... but I digress. the W-06s were kind of like the 2022 Ferraris where they were insanely fast but notoriously unreliable. fucking hell when Nico won the championship -- EVERYONE including his own team of Toto and Niki were talking about whether Lewis lost due to DNFs, and it took sebastian vettel to be like. hey. can we talk about Nico's deserved win tho?

lewis was asked if he thought the better man won and he said he didn't agree with that, and then when he retired was like "oh I'm not surprised, it's the first time he's won anything in 20 years." 🥴🥴🥴

every time someone learns more about nico over what's regurgitated about him they're always Huh... he's just some well meaning cringe dude... and not an evil mastermind 🤥 I do not discount that they've both hurt each other in ways we're not aware of, but everything that's publicly available means that's not our stance to take (hate a guy on Behalf of lewis cause he won't say his name)

now I don't blame fans -- how would you know about something that happened like 7 years ago now? and Lewis is very skilled at the narratives around him, he had a team that despite letting both drivers race was clearly behind him; and everything since DTS, fanon has been reinforcing the same narrative.

ultimately, nico won 2016 and lewis won the narrative.

sorry this answer got so long!!! i have mental problems!!! happy to recruit you in our large number of 6 nicologists if you now swing that way. 💕

#nico rosberg #the villainizing nico thesis (condensed)#i wish he was as evil as fandom makes him out to be. instead he's just a guy very enthusiastic about electric cars #cringe (affectionate)#blorbocedes ask #nicology

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completely-real-and-normal-human · 11 months

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an untitled magnus archives fic

the document this fic was in was just called ‘an indulgence in these troubling times’ and like yeah. sums it up really.

this fic isn’t really part of a wider au, i just threw one of the scrunklies from my brain into tma and wrote down what happened. i think it’s set somewhere in season 2 but i cannot be sure!

basic synopsis: spiral train.

my first fanfic on tumblr so pls be nice!!

tw: mentions of transphobia, spiral-typical body horror

[CLICK]

OLLIE A tape recorder? Seriously? I mean, I knew you folks were old-fashioned, but...

ARCHIVIST (mildly irritated) We've made several attempts to record to digital software, but it seems to disagree with most of the statements. This is the next best thing.

OLLIE Y'know what? I like it. Very retro. It kind of fits with this place.

ARCHIVIST Well, quite. (pause) If you'd like to begin?

OLLIE Sure. Do I, like, introduce myself, or...

ARCHIVIST Yes, just say your name and what your statement is regarding.

OLLIE Okay, uh, my name is Ollie Maverick, and this is regarding the disappearance of my coworker Grant Lewis due to an unexplained train in my workplace.

ARCHIVIST An... unexplained train?

OLLIE Well, it wasn't supposed to be there, and I sure as hell never got any sort of explanation for it.

ARCHIVIST R-right, well... (clears throat) Statement recorded direct from subject eighth of March 2017. Statement begins.

In your own time.

OLLIE (STATEMENT) Working in security was only ever okay, to be honest. The work's all right, apart from the night shifts — those really messed up my sleep schedule. I was working the night shift at a London train station when this happened. I know that's very vague, but I don't think I can name the station here, so you'll have to bear with me on that. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, and I'd like to avoid a lawsuit at all costs. Anyway, like I said, I worked in security, and it was one of my least favorite jobs. Not the worst, but it's up there. Top four. Mostly because of Grant Lewis.

Not to speak ill of the dead or anything, but Grant was an asshole. He drank too much, chewed spearmint gum way too loudly, and he ran one of those alpha-male podcasts in his spare time. You know the ones — white guys in their twenties spend thirty minutes a week ramming their unsolicited opinions about women who won't date them and abortion and liberal politics down the throats of their listeners. That should tell you all you need to know about him. He was a prick, and he had it in for me from day one.

I was the only queer person on the security team, and I looked it. I came in the first day with a pronoun pin and a pink mullet and... well. He latched on to me, and I couldn't get rid of him. The worst part was, since we'd started working there at the same time and he kept making these awful jokes about me, to me, everyone else assumed we were friends. No one else could stand him, so we got lumped together the whole time on shifts. I spent hours with him in the control room, patrolling the station, even on my lunch break a few times when I came across him accidentally in a café. Every time, I'd have to listen to this — endless stream of unfunny jokes about my gender identity and my sex life. And, of course, those controversial opinions he aired on that podcast. He was infuriating, and he wouldn't go away.

But however much I hated Grant, I still don’t think he deserved what happened to him. Officially he's just disappeared, but I don't think anyone believes that now. I really, really don't want to know if he's still alive.

It all happened about a month ago. I was working the night shift from 11PM to 7AM with three other people — Allison Bates, Fred Landy and, of course, Grant. (long, irritated sigh) I... wasn't in the best of moods, to be frank. I'd spent the whole day dreading this, and to begin with it was exactly the kind of awful I'd expected. It was a Sunday, so the trains kept running until 2AM. The first hour or so was in the control room with Allison and Fred, who spent most of that time loudly flirting with each other. It was... very uncomfortable to watch, so I volunteered to go help Grant keep an eye on the platforms. It would have been well past midnight by this stage, coming up to 1AM, and he was out making sure the drunks lurching off the trains from holiday parties didn't get too rowdy.

There were four platforms in that station, grouped in pairs, and he was looking after platforms one and two. So, I headed off to look after platforms three and four, because I didn't feel like dealing with his bullshit. The steady flow of commuters was starting to peter out, and those that were drunk were harmlessly so. It looked like it might be shaping up to be a fairly quiet night. But I only got around forty minutes of relative peace before my radio crackled. Grant was apparently coming to join me, as Allison was covering platforms one and two. I had an idea that she'd probably sent him, as Grant had no idea how to be around any female-presenting people without getting really creepy. I may have mentioned he was a complete asshole, so I didn't really blame her, but I wasn't happy about it.

Grant showed up and we began patrolling the platforms and the small shop and cafe area together. He talked too much and chewed gum loudly, and I tried to ignore him as best I could and focus on the job. The last train rolled in around 2AM, and once the final passengers had stumbled out into the night we went to lock up.

It was then that we heard it. As we were walking back to the control room, the tannoy system crackled into life.

'The train now approaching Platform Four is not intended for passenger use. Customers are advised not to interact with the train, or indeed acknowledge it, in the interest of health and safety. Under no circumstances attempt to board the train now approaching Platform Four.

Thank you.'

It didn't sound like the usual train announcements. Those were an automated vaguely female voice, distant and slightly robotic. This voice was a garbled, distorted mess that I could barely understand, and it cut off with a screech of static that made my head ring. Grant and I stood there in confusion as the echo of that sharp static bounced off the walls, warping into something like a faint, mocking laugh.

I've not painted a great picture of Grant here, I know, but he was at least a fairly competent security guard. While I was still reeling from the announcement, he managed to get out his radio and make contact with Fred and Allison in the control room. They'd heard it too, and they were going to head towards the room that the tannoy operated out of, to see if it had been hijacked. Grant said we'd go take a look at Platform Four, to see if there was anything we needed to deal with.

It took us about two minutes to get there, and it felt like the echo of the tannoy announcement still hadn't died away. The air seemed different — heavier, maybe, and it smelled a little bitter. It made me slightly nauseous. Grant didn't seem to notice; he just started checking around the platform for anything suspicious. I was going to join him when there was a sharp, screeching whistle, like an old steam train, and I realised that I was smelling smoke.

It filled the platform as the train chugged into view, curling around everything and shimmering with colours that I — can't describe. The cloying, bitter smell of the smoke grew stronger and I could see Grant choking on it, tears streaming down his face but I breathed it in and it was... (panicked, breathy laugh) ..intoxicating. The train itself was an old steam train, bright purple and gold, with no driver that I could see. It slowed to a stop and the door to the first carriage swung open right in front of me. Mocking. Beckoning. (another laugh) It seemed the most natural thing in the world to just... step in.

Inside was a narrow corridor, carpeted in that same rich, wine-toned purple. The doors of the seating compartments faced me, and each had gauzy purple curtains pulled across the windows. I started down the corridor, and noticed a figure sitting inside one of the compartments. I couldn't make out much through the curtains, but they had long hair that seemed to be moving of its own accord, and….. their hands were... wrong.

I don't think I was entirely... myself, at that point. (shaky breath) I reached for the handle, and suddenly Grant rammed into me from behind, sending me sprawling onto the floor. He was pinning me down, talking fast and terrified, saying we had to get out, had to get help. I could see the long-haired figure in the compartment behind him slowly rising to their feet, rising and rising far beyond the proportions of a normal human body, limbs bending oddly in ways that hurt to look at. I screamed for Grant to run, but it was too late.

The door of the compartment opened with a creak, and... it wasn't a person. I don't know what the hell that thing was, but it was not a person. The hair was blond, and twisted and curled in on itself like a nest of snakes. Its eyes were hard to look at. B-but its hands... they were long, and the fingers had too many joints and they were sharp, and it looked at Grant and he started screaming, and it started laughing. That sound, it... it made my mind sting.

He tried to run, then. Got to the door that should have led back to the platform, but it was different now, smaller. Painted yellow. He opened it to show another long corridor, this time lined with mirrors and twisting wallpaper that hurt my eyes, and the monster-thing just... pushed him in. (pause) I... really hope he's dead. I really do. The alternative is just... well.

I scrambled to my feet and backed away as the thing turned to me with this... self-satisfied grin on its impossible face. Like it had just had a good meal.

Go if you like, it said. You'll be back. You won't be able to help it.

It began to laugh again as I began to run.

I don't know how long I ran. The carriage never seemed to end, and every door I opened led either to a set of seats or to another twisting corridor. Eventually, think I just... gave up. Lay on the floor and waited to dissolve into an impossibility.

I woke up lying on Platform Four with Fred leaning over me asking panicked questions while Allison was calling the police. I couldn't focus on any of what Fred was saying. My head was spinning. I... wasn't really aware of much until the police arrived. They asked me where Grant was. I said I didn't know. I was too rattled to come up with any sort of lie, so I just... told them what happened. (quiet laugh) I'm not really sure what the official proceedings were, but they didn't want to know. One of the officers dropped me home and I just went straight to bed. Thankfully my partner Rory was out on his own night shift at the time, so I didn't have to explain anything just yet. I slept like the dead until about four o'clock the next day, and the first thing I did when I woke up was send in my resignation.

I tried to... well, not forget about it, but to... put it at the back of my mind. I had no backup plan for a job, and Rory could only cover the rent alone for so long. I had to tell him what happened, obviously. I don't know if he fully believes me, but he hasn't said anything. He knows I saw something that really scared me, and he knows that that's why I quit my job. He's sticking with me, though.

Last week, I managed to get an interview for another security job in the Foundling Museum. And when I went to catch the train to get there, well.. I'm sure you can guess what happened. The smoke, this time, it... it was so hard not to get on that train. It felt... right. It was all I could do to walk away.

That blond monster-thing is following me, too.

It doesn't look as, as wrong as it did in the train, but I know exactly what it is. I see it pretty much everywhere I go. It catches my eye and winks at me, and I just about throw up with fear. Rory thinks they're panic attacks. He's trying to get me to see a doctor, or a therapist or something. He's probably right, but I wanted to come here first. I thought you... might be able to help.

ARCHIVIST (pause; a few abortive attempts to speak) Statement, eh... statement ends. I — I think I recognise this, ah... blond monster-thing you've mentioned. Did it... have you approached it? Talked to it?

OLLIE (incredulous) No!

ARCHIVIST Good. It... it calls itself Michael. I don't know exactly what it is, or what it wants, but it enjoys. toying with people. Doesn't seem to have any real purpose other than... spreading misery and madness.

OLLIE W-well, I... (clears throat) What do I do?

ARCHIVIST I'm afraid I... don't really know. (noises of panic and indignation from Ollie) I mean, I can tell you to avoid any suspicious doors, but I... have a feeling you could have come to that conclusion yourself.

OLLIE Great. Great. I knew this would be a waste of my goddamn time. Is that seriously all you've got for me? Avoid suspicious doors?

ARCHIVIST I'm sorry, I —

OLLIE (overlapping) Don't even —

[DOOR OPENS]

ELIAS Sorry Jon, am I interrupting?

ARCHIVIST Oh, Elias! Um... no, I, I think we're just about done here. R-right?

OLLIE Sure. We're done.

ELIAS Is everything quite all right?

OLLIE Apparently, you people are perfectly happy to take my statement, but you can't actually help me with my fucking eldritch stalker.

ELIAS Ah, yes. I can see how that might be... upsetting.

OLLIE (barely controlled rage) Can you, now?

ELIAS I believe I can. (pause) I'm Elias Bouchard, head of the Magnus Institute. And you are?

OLLIE Ollie. Ollie Maverick.

ELIAS Well, Mr. —

OLLIE (overlapping) Mx.

ELIAS Oh, my apologies. Well, Mx. Maverick, while I don't really know much about your situation specifically, I've found that our Institute is quite good at deterring any, ah, supernatural harassment of our employees. For the most part. And I believe you're in the market for a new iob?

OLLIE Uh. I mean….. yes, but how did you —?

ELIAS I was waiting outside for Jon to finish up, and I couldn't help overhearing. Interested?

OLLIE I... don't know that I could do much here. I don't know anything about ghosts, or - whatever it is you do...

ARCHIVIST I — Ollie, I really wouldn't —

ELIAS (overlapping) I'm sure you'll pick it up very fast. Should we discuss this in my office?

OLLIE Um... sure. May as well.

ELIAS Lovely. Oh, and Jon?

ARCHIVIST I — yes?

ELIAS Basira’s just got back. I believe you wanted to talk to her?

ARCHIVIST Oh, uh... okay, I'll — I'll go do that, I suppose.

ELIAS Right. Follow me, Mx. Maverick.

[FOOTSTEPS; DOOR SHUTS]

ARCHIVIST (sigh) Damn.

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST Well, that was... (sigh) ...anyway. Another person trapped in the archives. Better than being trapped in a corridor hellscape or an endless train carriage, I suppose. (pause)

Though... would they have been trapped? The way they described the train, and especially that smoke... what did they call it? Intoxicating.

They're clearly very scared, and I can't say I blame them, but I have to wonder if what I'm seeing here is... the birth of a new avatar. With Michael shepherding them to their new domain.

In terms of follow-up (sigh) I have been able to confirm that a Grant Lewis was filed as missing on the third of February this year. However, I was not able to find anything else about the case or the circumstances of his disappearance. The police don't seem to have done anything, and it looks as if this Grant didn't have any friends or family to make a fuss about it. I talked it over with Basira, and she agrees with me that it probably comes under Section 31. Obviously, this makes it difficult to get any real evidence for this statement, but I'm inclined to believe it anyway.

What I don't understand is why Elias would offer Ollie a job. They've made it clear that they need it, but I hardly think it's out of the kindness of his heart. (quiet, tired laugh) He's probably got some secret, evil plan for them. Some way to cripple the Spiral, perhaps. Or maybe he just wants to inflict a new and interesting kind of trauma.

Either way, I think I'll be keeping a close eye on Ollie Maverick.

End recording.

[CLICK]

[SOUNDS OF SHUFFLING PAPER AND DRAWERS — A FILING CABINET? — OPENING AND SHUTTING. A DOOR OPENS.]

TIM Oh, uh — sorry, this area of the archives isn't open to the public.

OLLIE Yeah, I — I work here.

TIM In the Archives?

OLLIE Yeah, it’s my first day. My name's Ollie Maverick.

TIM Um... Tim Stoker. (pause) Sorry, what are your pronouns?

OLLIE (pleasantly surprised) They/them. You?

TIM He/him. (pause) So... you don't exactly look like the academic type.

OLLIE Says the person wearing a Hawaiian shirt to work.

TIM (laughs) No, I meant... y'know, people in this profession don't tend to be quite so buff. We're all skinny little nerds.

OLLIE Ah yes, my perfectly chiseled physique. I can see why you'd be confused. (Tim snorts) My last job was as a security guard, so...

TIM Sounds interesting.

OLLIE Well, it... didn't end well. I actually came to make a statement about it yesterday, and then your boss — Elias, I think his name was — offered me a job. For some reason.

TIM What?

OLLIE I know, right? I mean, I know jack shit about academia, but I did English in college and that was apparently good enough for him. I got the feeling that you're a little pressed for job applications.

TIM Yeah, well... I just hope you know what you're getting into.

OLLIE Oh?

TIM This place is... wrong. In a lot of ways.

OLLIE (jokingly) What, you've come across a lot of ghosts and ghoulies?

TIM I'm serious. It does things to you.

OLLIE Such as?

TIM It... won't let you quit. You can try it, but — you won't be able to.

OLLIE That all?

TIM (sigh) You'll find out soon enough, I guess. You're stuck here now.

OLLIE (pause) You're not just — messing with me?

TIM No.

OLLIE Well... fuck. (resigned sigh; pause) Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Assuming this even works.

TIM Assuming what works?

OLLIE It... doesn't matter. I guess we'll see.

TIM I guess we will.

[SILENCE]

OLLIE Hey, has — has that been running this whole time?

TIM What?

OLLIE That recorder. Did you bring it in here?

TIM Oh, for fuck's sake —

[CLICK]

#magnus archives #tma #tma fanfic #my oc #my writing #the spiral #micheal distortion #micheal my beloved #tw body horror #aubrey writes stuff

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mariacallous · 3 months

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If you were asked to guess which prestigious film-making duo had spent their career scratching around desperately for cash, trying to wriggle out of paying their cast and crew, ping-ponging between lovers, and having such blood-curdling bust-ups that their neighbours called the police, it might be some time before “Merchant Ivory” sprang to mind. But a new warts-and-all documentary about the Indian producer Ismail Merchant and the US director James Ivory makes it clear that the simmering passions in their films, such as the EM Forster trilogy of A Room With a View, Maurice and Howards End, were nothing compared to the scalding, volatile ones behind the camera.

From their initial meeting in New York in 1961 to Merchant’s death during surgery in 2005, the pair were as inseparable as their brand name, with its absence of any hyphen or ampersand, might suggest. Their output was always more eclectic than they got credit for. They began with a clutch of insightful Indian-set dramas including Shakespeare-Wallah, their 1965 study of a troupe of travelling actors, featuring a young, pixieish Felicity Kendal. From there, they moved on to Savages, a satire on civilisation and primitivism, and The Wild Party, a skewering of 1920s Hollywood excess that pipped Damien Chazelle’s Babylon to the post by nearly half a century.

It was in the 1980s and early 1990s, though, that Merchant Ivory became box-office titans, cornering the market in plush dramas about repressed Brits in period dress. Those literary adaptations launched the careers of Hugh Grant, Helena Bonham Carter, Rupert Graves and Julian Sands, and helped make stars of Emma Thompson and Daniel Day-Lewis. Most were scripted by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, who had been with them, on and off, since their 1963 debut The Householder; she even lived in the same apartment building in midtown New York. Many were scored by Richard Robbins, who was romantically involved with Merchant while also holding a candle for Bonham Carter. These films restored the costume drama to the position it had occupied during David Lean’s heyday. The roaring trade in Jane Austen adaptations might never have happened without them. You could even blame Merchant Ivory for Bridgerton.

Though the pictures were uniformly pretty, making them was often ugly. Money was always scarce. Asked where he would find the cash for the next movie, Merchant replied: “Wherever it is now.” After Jenny Beavan and John Bright won an Academy Award for the costumes in A Room With a View, he said:“I got you your Oscar. Why do I need to pay you?” As Ivory was painstakingly composing each shot, Merchant’s familiar, booming battle cry would ring out: “Shoot, Jim, shoot!”

Heat and Dust, starring Julie Christie, was especially fraught. Only 30 or 40% of the budget was in place by the time the cameras started rolling in India in 1982; Merchant would rise at dawn to steal the telegrams from the actors’ hotels so they didn’t know their agents were urging them to down tools. Interviewees in the documentary concede that the producer was a “conman” with a “bazaar mentality”. But he was also an incorrigible charmer who dispensed flattery by the bucketload, threw lavish picnics, and wangled entrées to magnificent temples and palaces. “You never went to bed without dreaming of ways to kill him,” says one friend, the journalist Anna Kythreotis. “But you couldn’t not love him.”

Stephen Soucy, who directed the documentary, doesn’t soft-pedal how wretched those sets could be. “Every film was a struggle,” he tells me. “People were not having a good time. Thompson had a huge fight with Ismail on Howards End because she’d been working for 13 days in a row, and he tried to cancel her weekend off. Gwyneth Paltrow hated every minute of making Jefferson in Paris. Hated it! Laura Linney was miserable on The City of Your Final Destination because the whole thing was a shitshow. But you watch the films and you see no sense of that.”

Soucy’s movie features archive TV clips of the duo bickering even in the midst of promoting a film. “Oh, they were authentic all right,” he says. “They clashed a lot.”The authenticity extended to their sexuality. The subject was not discussed publicly until after Ivory won an Oscar for writing Call Me By Your Name: “You have to remember that Ismail was an Indian citizen living in Bombay, with a deeply conservative Muslim family,” Ivory told me in 2018. But the pair were open to those who knew them. “I never had a sense of guilt,” Ivory says, pointing out that the crew on The Householder referred to him and Merchant as “Jack and Jill”.

Soucy had already begun filming his documentary when Ivory published a frank, fragmentary memoir, Solid Ivory, which dwells in phallocentric detail on his lovers before and during his relationship with Merchant, including the novelist Bruce Chatwin. It was that book which emboldened Soucy to ask questions on screen – including about “the crazy, complicated triangle of Jim, Ismail and Dick [Robbins]” – that he might not otherwise have broached.

The documentary is most valuable, though, in making a case for Ivory as an underrated advocate for gay representation. The Remains of the Day, adapted from Kazuo Ishiguro’s Booker-winning novel about a repressed butler, may be the duo’s masterpiece, but it was their gay love story Maurice that was their riskiest undertaking. Set in the early 20th century, its release in 1987 could scarcely have been timelier: it was the height of the Aids crisis, and only a few months before the Conservative government’s homophobic Section 28 became law.

“Ismail wasn’t as driven as Jim to make Maurice,” explains Soucy. “And Ruth was too busy to write it. But Jim’s dogged determination won the day. They’d had this global blockbuster with A Room With a View, and he knew it could be now or never. People would pull aside Paul Bradley, the associate producer, and say: ‘Why are they doing Maurice when they could be making anything?’ I give Jim so much credit for having the vision and tenacity to make sure the film got made.”

Merchant Ivory don’t usually figure in surveys of queer cinema, though they are part of its ecosystem, and not only because of Maurice. Ron Peck, who made the gay classic Nighthawks, was a crew member on The Bostonians. Andrew Haigh, director of All of Us Strangers, landed his first industry job as a poorly paid assistant in Merchant’s Soho office in the late 1990s; in Haigh’s 2011 breakthrough film Weekend, one character admits to freeze-framing the naked swimming scene in A Room With a View to enjoy “Rupert Graves’s juddering cock”. Merchant even offered a role in Savages to Holly Woodlawn, the transgender star of Andy Warhol’s Trash, only for her to decline because the fee was so low.

The position of Merchant Ivory at the pinnacle of British cinema couldn’t last for ever. Following the success of The Remains of the Day, which was nominated for eight Oscars, the brand faltered and fizzled. Their films had already been dismissed by the director Alan Parker as representing “the Laura Ashley school” of cinema. Gary Sinyor spoofed their oeuvre in the splendid pastiche Stiff Upper Lips (originally titled Period!), while Eric Idle was plotting his own send-up called The Remains of the Piano. The culture had moved on.

There was still an appetite for upper-middle-class British repression, but only if it was funny: Richard Curtis drew on some of Merchant Ivory’s repertory company of actors (Grant, Thompson, Simon Callow) for a run of hits beginning with Four Weddings and a Funeral, which took the poshos out of period dress and plonked them into romcoms.

The team itself was splintering. Merchant had begun directing his own projects. When he and Ivory did collaborate, the results were often unwieldy, lacking the stabilising literary foundation of their best work. “Films like Jefferson in Paris and Surviving Picasso didn’t come from these character-driven novels like Forster, James or Ishiguro,” notes Soucy. “Jefferson and Picasso were not figures that audiences warmed to.” Four years after Merchant’s death, Ivory’s solo project The City of Your Final Destination became mired in lawsuits, including one from Anthony Hopkins for unpaid earnings.

Soucy’s film, though, is a reminder of their glory days. It may also stoke interest in the movies among young queer audiences whose only connection to Ivory, now 95, is through Call Me By Your Name. “People walk up to Jim in the street to shake his hand and thank him for Maurice,” says Soucy. “But I also wanted to include the more dysfunctional side of how they were made. Hopefully it will be inspiring to young film-makers to see that great work can come out of chaos.”

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imagintheworldaway · 2 years

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Crush

A/N idk kinda messy and long, not eddited just raw writing

warnings: no? alcohol a little (a to cool for school reader?)

REQUESTS: OPEN

It was so typical. I knew I couldn’t just go through life hating everyone, as much as i wish i could. No, I had to fall in love with one of those ‘influencer’ guys that had decided to grace this earth. I smiled to myself, this was so 10 things I hate about you style, stupid rom-com situation that ofcourse i would be stuck in.

“Hey Y/N, you listening?” my boss snapped me out of my trance. I just hummed back a response as she carried on with the list of responsibilities and who was doing what today. “Y/N, you will be in the VIP lounge, so be happy for once” my boss assigned me my role, causing me to have to hold back my groan and refrain from rolling my eyes. I just gave my fakest smile possible and nodded. “Try, please, Y/N” my boss sighed before moving on to the others.

Once we were all dismissed i went over to the customer information sheet and it was the same group that was here a week ago. I flicked through the pages and saw the name list. There it was, the man who had been clouding my fantasies, Harry Lewis.

I felt a burning sensation over my cheeks as the rest of the sheet turned into a blur. The two words are just becoming bigger and bolder in my vision. “Fuck” i whispered to myself in a shaky breath. “What's wrong now Joy?” my colleague, Cass asked as she read my bashful expression. Joy wasn’t my name but a fun little nickname that everyone called me because i was always so miserable, i know, peak humour. “Nothing,” I snapped back taking the sheet and walking over to the VIP bar, making sure everything was set up and ready.

I took a nervous breath as I looked at my watch. The last time they were here it was a birthday or something and Harry. As soon as he walked through the door i felt time stop as his eyes locked with mine and a cheeky smile graced his features. I had never had such a strong reaction to anyone before and the fact that he had such a hold on me and i had never had as much as a conversation with him really said something. Ever since then he had crowded my mind, his ocean blue eyes boring a hole in my soul and his laugh echoing in my ears. I knew he was famous, I mean they had to be to afford a VIP suit here, but I also knew he was a famous influencer. Meaning he probably had swarms of girls and probably boys my age all fawning over him.

A loud noise bought me out of my reminiscing and I plastered on my fake smile whilst checking myself once more in the mirror i kept under the bar. “And this is you guys have fun” my boss said sending me a pointed look as he let the group take up the room. “Hey there I’m Joy and I will be looking after you this evening” I smiled at the group. Yes, I use my nickname with customers, less stalking that way.

A chorus of hellos greeted me, they had been here before so it wasn’t long before they settled down with a glass of complimentary champagne and started minding their own business.

I was organising some bottles, pretending to look busy when i heard that voice. “Hey” my breath hitched in my throat and i composed myself, a genuine smile gracing my features for once as i turned around and met the gaze of Mr Lewis. “How can I help?” I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes. “Um 8 shots of tequila” The man in front of me smiled. I took a moment before I nodded and started on the drinks order.

The chatter from the rest of the group filled my senses as I bought over a tray of the drinks. I had to suppress my smile when I heard his laugh, not wanting anyone to find out about my little crush.

The night carried on with laughter and a strong flow of drinks from the men. Dipping in and out and more people joining the party and extending the fun. At some point my manager had sent up Cass to help me with the influx of customers that were now my responsibility. We were polishing glasses as it had now hit 3 am and the part had started to die down and move on. “It’s so funny seeing you actually like someone,” Cass said, causing me to whip my head round and send her a death glare, causing her just to giggle. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” I said in my own defence, putting away the shot glasses. “Oh really?” Cass started, turning her body towards me, boasting a cocky smile. “I have never seen you stumble over your words, pink cheeks and an actual genuine smile, that cool ‘i don’t care persona’ completely disappearing as soon as he is in eye line.” She smirked at me while putting away some champagne flutes.

I just bit my tongue and bared my way through the final hour of my shift, being teased and ridiculed by Cass for my little crush the whole time. The rest of the shift flew by and we were almost finished, just waiting on the last three boys to leave, which included my little crush. “You are amazing thank you” a taller boy, Cal I think, said as he engulfed me in a hug, being the least drunk of the three boys. I smiled politely as his arm hung around my shoulders. “Ay ay ay, Cal. Man. I wouldn’t do that, boggy will get jealous” the other man said, Ethan i think. I felt a warm blush creep onto my cheeks as Harry's head looked over at the mention of his name.

“Yh, Cal, Arms off” Harry slurred engulfing me in a hug and boasting a cocky smile as he resumed Cal's position around my shoulders. “Ok, Joy, What is your insta?” Ethan asked, his phone in his hands as he looked for the app on his phone. “I’m not really allowed,” I said trailing off a hint of sadness in my voice. “C’mon no ones looking,” Ethan urged as he moved his phone closer to me. I looked over at Cass biting my lip, she was too preoccupied with organising the bottles, and this will probably be my only chance. “Ok,” I said, taking Ethans phone and typing in my @. “We have done it boys” Ethan cheered earning a hollar from Cal and a shy smile from Harry. “I am sure we will be seeing you again” Cal said as the boys finally said their goodbyes.

“So when you become rich and famous for dating an influencer, don't forget me?” Cass quipped as we finished work and walked out on to the street just causing me to roll my eyes. “Nothing will happen,” I said, a slightly twang of sadness lacing my voice. “Whatever, see you next week” Cass bid her farewells as we parted ways.

It was a normal day, I was just making my bed when my phone went off. I walked over and saw @wroetoshaw has sent you a message request. I almost dropped my phone as i tapped the notification and read the message that he had actually sent me.

‘Hey Joy, well i guess that isn’t your name, no wonder i couldn’t find you the first time. Sorry about last night, we had a bit too much. Would actually like to go out sometime if you're up to it?’

I stood there gawking at my phone as I read and re-read the message a million times. I sat on my bed crossed legged as I thought out my reply.

‘Hey, yeah it is just a silly nickname. I would love to!’

I replied biting my lip. I never care how I message people but this was different. I decided to carry on with my chores to try and distract myself from this funny feeling in my chest. Not even five minutes later my phone went off again and I pressed on the notification.

‘Haha good, glad i didn’t embarrass myself too much! How about dinner on wednesday?’

The message read.

‘Sounds good’

Was all I replied confirming my date with Harry Lewis.

The next few days Harry and I messaged as if we were old friends. Conversation was just easy. I learnt about him and he seemed genuinely interested in me. We joked and there was never a dull moment. I had never fallen for anyone before and here I was smiling at my screen like a schoolgirl. Awaiting every next message, anxiety building in my chest when he doesn’t reply for a while, thinking what if he had grown bored of me? Only for those thoughts to vanish when a light came on my screen indicating that little notification had appeared.

I sat in my Uber nervously. I had dressed up a lot more than usual as Harry had decided on a restaurant i had never even heard of before, meaning it was probably fancy. The car stopped and I got out. Harry was already waiting for me. “You look, just wow” he said as he greeted me, causing me to smile. “Thanks, I thought I would put in a little effort,” I giggled as we made our way into the restaurant.

The date went so quickly. We couldn’t stop laughing and giggling and it was just the best time I had had in a while. We made our way outside and started walking just about anywhere to keep the date going. We made our way across one of the many bridges of London, our hands interlaced as the cool breeze of the English summer brushed past us.

“I never thought I could fall for someone, especially not someone like you.” I admitted bashfully. Turning my body towards Harry as we stopped and looked at the view from the bridge. He furrowed his eyebrows for a second as his eyes met mine “How come?” he asked, genuine curiosity behind his eyes as he searched mine for answers. A soft smile graced my lips. “Because you’re you,” I said unlinking our hands and gesturing to him. He was a rich and famous man, I was just a normal bar maid, sure i knew i liked him but to have strong feelings so soon felt so unnatural to me. “Is that so bad?” he said with a cocky grin now adorning his features. “Oh you have no idea,” I said suppressing my smirk.

#w2s x reader #w2s imagine #w2s #Harry Lewis #harrylewis #wroetoshaw #harry lewis imagine #wroetoshaw x reader #sidemen #sidemenimagine #youtube

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dixieconley · 2 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Saw this in @just-here-with-my-thoughts's blog.

How many works do you have on Ao3? 45.

What’s your total Ao3 word count? 266,872.

What fandoms do you write for? Currently writing for the Star Wars fandom, Clone Wars era. Before that, most recently Avengers and Stargate: Atlantis.

What are your top five fics by kudos? They're all Avengers fics and, apart from the first one, all part of the same series! 1. Darcy Lewis: God of War. 2. A Rebellious House. 3. Eyes To See. 4. Something's Got To Give. 5. The Great Escape.

Do you respond to comments? I love comments! I respond to most comments, but sometimes I don't know what to say to things like the all emoji comments and I won't.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Three Bitter Bastards (Clone Wars). I prefer happy endings, so 'bittersweet' is the closest I've gotten. The main characters get a happy ending, but in doing so, leave people who care about them behind.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? For all that I love happy endings, almost all of my Star Wars fics end in murder. (I mean, Palpatine deserves to die, don't get me wrong, but can you call that happy?) If you count those, then Penguins in SPAAAACE (The Penguins of Madgascar/Clone Wars) is probably the most light-hearted. Otherwise, it's Sheppard and the Sex God (Stargate: Atlantis).

Do you get hate on fics? Only once, and it wasn't exactly hate. More of a constructive criticism of a racial stereotype I was unwittingly perpetrating.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not so much anymore. I used to write a lot of smut, but you'll only find a fraction on Ao3 and it's tame stuff. The closest I've gotten recently was the main character waking up after an A/B/O heat. Practically PG-13 by my standards considering I used to write X rated stuff.

Do you write crossovers? Yes! I love crossovers! The craziest one is a tie between the This Is The Way-de (Deadpool/The Mandalorian) and Penguins in SPAAAACE.

Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers? A Matter of Taste (Clone Wars). It's an OFC self-insert, so I totally understand why no one likes it, but it really feels personal to me and I'd really like to hear anything, even what people didn't like about this one.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? On Ao3, only with SirKate. Before that, I wrote a number of Star Trek fics in collaboration with Alara Rogers. I treasure both partnerships. Amazing friends.

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Which fandom? ;> In Star Wars, it's Fox/murder, hands down. While I've never written it, I adore Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes, but am also a fan of Darcy Lewis/Bucky Barnes.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There's only one, Meanwhile In Tonygard (Avengers). I hate leaving anything unfinished, including stories, but my ex-husband killed my joy in writing for years until I finally rediscovered it in the Star Wars fandom. I can't bear going back to writing the Avengers with his words about Darcy reverberating in my head. I eventually resolved it by writing up my plans for what would have happened and adding that to the end. It's not as good as finishing, but it's the best I can do when I can't stop hearing "So she's a slut" when I try to write.

What are your writing strengths? I used to think it was snappy dialogue, but I've been told that my ideas are unusual and noteworthy. And judging by the response I've gotten in the Star Wars fandom (where I've been writing two types of fic: crack and serious), I have a talent with crack.

What are your writing weaknesses? I don't know what the official name for it is, but I have a problem where my mind goes too fast and skips over things or substitutes other words. So you'll see sentences like "She didn't finish eating clock," instead of "She didn't finish eating her meal." And because of this glitch, I end up having to read and reread my stories to find all the problems -- because my mind continues to glitch, skipping over the mistakes. Other than that, overuse of commas.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'd never done it until I got into the Star Wars fandom and discovered Mando'a and now I find it fascinating translating the concepts to Basic and back again. One of my favorite things about being a writer in the Star Wars fandom is developing new head canons from the culture clash inherent not just in the lives the characters lead but also the world view a language gives you. It's difficult, but I love it.

First fandom you wrote for? Battlestar Galactica, the first version. On paper, in a five-subject notebook. My self-insert, Starbuck and Apollo.

Favourite fic you’ve written? Probably The Only Way Out Is Forward (Clone Wars) series. I couldn't pick a favorite from that one; they hang together too closely to pick just one. I cried multiple times writing these stories.

#tag game #20 questions #ao3 writer #writers on tumblr #fanfic writer #fanfic author #ao3 author

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.

but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia

(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)

but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism

and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.

and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.

it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:

Almost all Muslims are bad and evil

They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him

There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven

Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)

...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS

...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.

DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.

and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:

white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical

god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose

free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained

the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.

but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.

in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.

#red said #i love these books. i love the last battle especially.#fuck me they're awful philosophically though #they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life.#and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them.#and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of #christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff #like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way #and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy #really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child #it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience.#like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas #which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them?#they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers #(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW)#but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think #like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path #as long as you come back #and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it #like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is.#if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over #tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd #puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns #he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful #because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart #now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT #reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt.#buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised #by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith #like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort

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f0point5 · 5 months

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Your last post about Seb and the other older drivers was so spot. The way they behaved towards the new kid starting out was nothing short of bullying. Now a days they preach about bringing young fans in and mental health when they were bullies to Max for the first few years but of course it was Lewis and Seb so it’s just brushed under the carpet 😡 no offence to his fans but Seb was disrespectful in his younger years the way he spoke to women reporters, wanting them to keep the grid girls and the names he called his cars but of course now he’s the loveable bee keeper saving the planet 🙄

Yeah do we talk about Seb’s flirting enough? I feel like we don’t. I personally don’t take it that seriously but at the same time if I were a reporter I would have *hated* speaking to him. The way he flirted always sounds like the kind of flirting that’s made to embarrass rather than compliment the other person, he wasn’t even single so it obviously wasn’t genuine so it kind of seemed like he just wanted people to laugh? Idk I would not have had the strength not to reply with “what are you doing later?” With “not you, even on a driver’s salary, buddy.”

Like, it’s not deep, but i have to say I didn’t find it cute.

I’ll always wonder if Seb and Max ever talked about it. Because despite Max saying Seb was the one to wait for him after the Silverstone crash, and them swapping helmets, etc., I never got the vibe that they liked each other much. I don’t detect warmth when I hear Seb speak about him, just an undeniable respect for his accomplishments. Their helmet swap will forever confuse me.

#max verstappen #sebastian vettel

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lovesongbracket · 1 year

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Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

She Keeps Me Warm

Written By: Mary Lambert

Artist: Mary Lambert

Released: 2013

This song is an extension of her collaboration with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on “Same Love.” Where “Same Love” advocated a message of equality for same-sex couples, this song celebrates the love and attraction within same-sex relationships. It is a pure love song meant for all people, intending not to exploit or provide shock value, but to paint a graceful and powerful romantic picture. Written by Lambert, the song utilizes the familiar chorus and coda of “Same Love,” while employing a string-laden production and pop structure.

[Verse 1] She says I smell like safety and home I named both of her eyes Forever and Please Don't Go I could be your morning sunrise all the time, all the time, yeah This could be good, this could be good [Chorus] And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love, my love She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm [Verse 2] What's your middle name? Do you hate your job? Do you fall in love too easily? What's your favorite word? You like kissing girls? Can I call you baby? [Pre-Chorus] She says that people stare Cause we look so good together Yeah, yeah, yeah [Chorus] And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change, even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love, my love She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm [Outro] I'm not crying on Sundays, I'm not crying on Sundays I'm not crying on Sundays, I'm not crying on Sundays Love is patient, love is kind Love is patient, love is kind My love, my love, my love, my love She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm

youtube

Heaven Is a Place on Earth

Written By: Ellen Shipley & Rick Nowels

Artist: Belinda Carlisle

Released: 1987

Re-recording included: 2017

“Heaven Is a Place on Earth” was the lead single from Belinda Carlisle’s second album, Heaven on Earth. The single was released in September 1987, shortly before the album, and it reached the top of the charts in at least nine countries. The song features Thomas Dolby on keyboards, and among the backing singers were Michelle Phillips (of the Mamas and the Papas) and the song’s writers, Rick Nowels and Ellen Shipley. When Carlisle reprised the song for her 2017 album Wilder Shores, she slowed the tempo and sang only with piano accompaniment.

[Chorus] Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth They say in Heaven love comes first We'll make Heaven a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth [Verse 1] When the night falls down I wait for you and you come around And the world's alive With the sound of kids on the street outside [Pre-Chorus] When you walk into the room You pull me close and we start to move And we're spinning with the stars above And you lift me up in a wave of love [Chorus] Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth They say in Heaven love comes first We'll make Heaven a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth [Verse 2] When I feel alone I reach for you and you bring me home When I'm lost at sea I hear your voice and it carries me [Pre-Chorus] In this world, we're just beginning To understand the miracle of living Baby, I was afraid before But I'm not afraid anymore [Chorus] Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth They say in Heaven love comes first We'll make Heaven a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth [Interlude] (Heaven) (Heaven) (Heaven) [Bridge] In this world, we're just beginning To understand the miracle of living Baby, I was afraid before But I'm not afraid anymore [Break] (Heaven) [Chorus] Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth They say in Heaven love comes first We'll make Heaven a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth (Ooh) Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth (Ooh) Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth (Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth)

youtube

#mary lambert #she keeps me warm #belinda carlisle #heaven is a place on earth #polls #poll tournament #poll bracket #tournament #bracket #lovesongbracket #round1

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alexanderossis · 2 years

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Ooo!! Could you write a post Zandervoort fix it for Britcedes please? Maybe George thinking Lewis is mad at him and Lewis reassuring him that he isn’t, maybe George has read some of the things on twitter and is upset that Lewis’ fans and friends are annoyed with him?

hello! sorry this took a bit, it's long. but thank you for prompting this, I was going to write one anyway and this gave me the kick to do it. Hope it's what you were looking for.

George doesn’t exactly hide after the race ends in Zandvoort… he just makes a very conscious effort to avoid Lewis at all times. He’s pretty sure he did nothing wrong, or at least he was until the cool-down room where Max very bluntly says “mate, I didn’t think you had the guts to do that” and then the media starts asking him questions and he realizes that Lewis wasn’t on the soft tyres, and wasn’t given the option to stop.

He knew he was faster than Lewis, that much was obvious when he narrowly avoided driving into the back of his boyfriend’s car, but he hadn’t realized that he had argued for an advantage and gotten it.

The champagne that Max and Charles pour over him feels like shame, regret and betrayal as it runs down his back. He absolutely does not look for Lewis in the crowd or during media.

The podium position feels as uncomfortable as the sticky champagne that dries between his fireproofs and his skin. Normally he would go to Lewis’ driver room and they would wind down together, slowly showering off the sweat and dirt from the race before they would inevitably be told to hurry up and get to the briefing.

But he’s spoken to enough people since the race ended to have heard about Lewis’ radio messages, about his unusually harsh reaction to the decision, to George’s decision, that he can’t bring himself to face the man he loves.

He showers alone in his own driver’s room and the extra time allows him to scroll through his social media and Lewis isn’t the only one with harsh words apparently. Every other mention of his name reveals comments saying that he ruined Lewis’ race, stole his win from him, hates being Lewis’ teammate, is not really that great of a driver.. it goes on and on and George can’t stop scrolling.

He’s jarred out of his doom scrolling when someone knocks on his door to tell him to go to the briefing. He doesn’t respond, can’t respond, not when the thoughts are circling, spiraling, pushing him towards an edge he hasn’t seen for a long time.

“George?” The voice calls out again, knocking louder.

His legs aren’t working, it’s like he’s glued to the chair. He has to go, he knows he has to go. If the team is mad at him already for ruining Lewis’ race, they’ll be twice as mad if he’s late to the briefing. Lewis will be twice as mad…

That thought forces him into a standing position and he makes it to the door.

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he nearly barrels over the poor person at the door.

He follows her silently up the stairs of the Mercedes garage, and when he reaches the glass meeting room, everyone is waiting. Waiting for him.

He mumbles another apology and keeps his eyes trained on the floor as he walks past Lewis and Toto, taking his seat opposite his boyfriend.

When he finally meets Lewis’ gaze, he’s met with a puzzled look. There’s a fire behind his eyes still, even though he’s giving off a much calmer demeanour. But George still doesn’t know what to think, and all he can do is brace himself for the end.

George is never late. George never skips their post-race rituals. George never ignores his texts.

George is doing all of those things and Lewis is terrified.

He knows that George didn’t mean to undercut him, didn’t mean to end up on the faster tyres, didn’t mean for Lewis to lose the race. It was easy to blame him, too easy for the fans it seemed. But Lewis knew that it was the team’s strategy that had cost him the race, not his boyfriend’s clever decision to go for the soft tyres. If anything, he was proud of George. He would have done the same.

He had planned to tell George as much, planned to lick his skin soaked with champagne, planned to get on his knees in the shower and show him just how smart he thought George was. But George never came.

For a while, Lewis waited, sweat-soaked suit sticking to his body. He never showered without George after a race anymore. But then it started to get closer to the time for the debrief and if he doesn’t shower soon, he’ll be late.

So, he stands under the warm water and panics.

After a few minutes, his brain reminds him that panicking isn’t a good use of his energy and he lets himself sink into a brief meditation, calming his breathing, focusing on how to get the most out of the briefing.

But then he goes to the briefing and George still isn’t there and the panicked, uneasy feeling is back.

A few minutes past their start time, George finally appears. He doesn’t meet Lewis’ eyes but Lewis can tell something is wrong. He’s shaking, eyes trained on the floor, only offering Toto and him a fleeting glance before settling into his chair.

When George finally meets his gaze, Lewis isn’t surprised to see that his usually clear blue eyes are pale and watery. George worries his bottom lip with his teeth and Lewis aches to reach over and run a soothing hand down his partner’s cheek. But, this is a business meeting, so he instead gives George a concerned look and turns to the front as Toto starts to speak.

George nods in all of the right places, thanks the right people and as soon as he’s free to go, bolts. He gulps the fresh air into his lungs, feeling as if he hadn’t taken a single breath throughout the entire hour-long briefing.

No one explicitly said that they were mad at him, Lewis included. But that really did nothing to calm his nerves.

He takes the long way back to his room, hoping he can avoid Lewis and any other straggling employees who want to talk about the race. He meets no one, letting out a sigh of relief as he pushes open his door.

His relief is cut short when he’s met with all 5 foot 9 inches of his boyfriend in the doorway. Lewis’ toned arms are crossed against his chest and even though George towers over him, he looks intimidating.

George shuffles past him awkwardly and Lewis shuts the door behind them.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Lewis speaks first, his calm voice breaking slightly through George’s panic.

“Not really,” George runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “I mean, sort of.”

Lewis doesn’t respond, only studies George’s shivering figure.

“I’m sorry,” George volunteers but Lewis says it at the same time.

“For what?” Lewis responds but George says it too and they both let out a small giggle.

“Okay,” Lewis speaks, and this time it’s just him. “I think you should sit down before you pass out, and we’ll talk about this. One at a time.”

George goes to the couch and his body nearly gives out as he collapses onto it, gripping the nearby pillow tightly. He wants to tell Lewis to sit next to him, wants Lewis’ touch to ground him. But he still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Lewis to yell or storm out or something, anything.

Except, his brain helpfully supplies, Lewis just apologized to him.

“Wait,” George frowns, “did you say that you’re sorry?”

Lewis sits on the chair opposite him, palms facing upwards on his knees.

“Yes?” he responds, tilting his head to consider his boyfriend.

“Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong.”

“Neither did you!”

George raises his eyebrows, “I did everything wrong.”

“George-”

“I ruined your race. I was selfish. I chose the soft tyres, I didn’t want to lose the race.” He’s losing control of his breathing now, shaking hands gesturing, “I took away your chance. And everyone knows it.”

“George,” Lewis says again, standing up from the chair.

He’s leaving you, George thinks and he’s seconds from dropping to his knees to beg Lewis for forgiveness. To make him stay.

But Lewis settles on the couch next to him. He grabs George’s hands, frozen in mid-explanation, and holds them, tattooed thumbs rubbing soft circles across George’s pale skin.

“Can you breathe for me?” Lewis’s voice is soft, quiet against the rush in George’s brain.

He really, desperately, wants to breathe. He wants to be good for Lewis. But everything feels stuck.

“Oh, baby.” Lewis breathes and George breaks.

“Please don’t break up with me,” it comes out in a rush, “please, I won’t do it again.”

Once the words are out, he feels like he can breathe again, air rushing into his lungs so fast he’s panting.

Lewis uses his grasp on George’s hands to pull the taller man towards him, letting George fall against his chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lewis murmurs, strong hands rubbing soothing strokes on George’s back. “But I’m not leaving you. And nothing you do on the track could ever make me go anywhere.”

George tilts his head slightly from where it’s pressed against Lewis’ solid form and meets his gaze.

“Can I say my part now?” Lewis asks.

George nods, tucking his head back down.

“I’m sorry that I yelled on the radio,” Lewis sighs, “I’m so embarrassed. And I should have come and found you after and celebrated with you.”

“Why-” George goes silent with a look from the older man.

“My turn to talk, Georgie. Anyway, what you did out there, was exactly what you were supposed to do.”

His hands still against George’s frame, “It’s hard for me to say in the moment but, I’m not the team. We’re both here to secure the win for Mercedes. You made the right choice, you got the podium. I couldn’t ask for anything else.”

“But it could have been your first win of the season.”

“No,” Lewis shakes his head, “I didn’t have the right tyres.”

“I could have held Max back-”

“I honestly don’t know that you could have.”

George bites his lip before responding, “everyone told me it was my fault. That you could have won if I hadn’t asked for softs.”

“Who said that?” Lewis’ brow furrows, “I didn’t hear anyone say that in the briefing.”

To be honest, George wasn’t exactly listening in the briefing but he says, “on social.”

“On social?” Lewis shifts suddenly, reaching for his phone on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” George mumbles into Lewis’ hoodie, “some fans and some of your, uh..”

“My fans?”

“Your friends,” George finishes, sending his gaze back to his feet.

There’s silence in the room again, just the buzz of Lewis’ phone as he searches.

“That’s unacceptable,” Lewis huffs when he finds what George is talking about.

“I’m sorry-” George starts.

“No, not you. God, not you. You did nothing wrong,” Lewis runs his free hand across George’s hair soothingly. “They don’t get to talk to you like that.”

A small feeling of calm settles over George for the first time since he made the call during the race.

A few minutes later, Lewis places his phone back down on the coffee table. Soft fingers cup George’s chin, tilting his face upwards to face his boyfriend.

“Okay, I emailed PR and told them that they need to deal with the comments on the Mercedes account. I can go onto your account and hide them on your profile if you’d like,” Lewis offers, “And I texted my friends and set them straight.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” George says quietly.

“Yes, I did.” Lewis huffs, leaning forward to press a kiss to George’s pout.

“Let’s make one thing very clear,” Lewis adds, brown eyes meeting George’s blue ones. “I’m not going anywhere. Got it?”

George beams, letting Lewis pepper his face with kisses. “Got it.”

“Now, Mr. Podium,” Lewis sits up, dislodging George slightly. “Why don’t we go back to the hotel and make up for that shower that we missed, hmm?”

George winks, “I can think of a few ways to celebrate.”

#f1 fic #f1 rpf #britcedes #lewis hamilton #george russell #4463 #prompts

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whatismylife3 · 2 years

Text

I get why people are sceptical about the “Drive it out” video - this kind of thing should have been done long ago and they should provide more details on what the plans are to tackle this problem. I do think we need to give it chance though to see what they actually do.

However. I am seeing a lot of finger pointing at other drivers fanbases for being the main problem and I just wanna say… it literally not down to just one driver fanbase, it’s basically ALL OF THEM.

No driver fanbase is without toxic and disgusting fans lbr-

• a popular Charles fan page on here said Carlos needed to kill himself and had consistently made derogatory comments to him. I have now blocked them so I dunno if they are still doing it but there was definitely a severe lack of people calling them out at the time. Seemed to be one Carlos fan did and that’s when people said something.

•merc fans sent death threats to Nicky after Abu Dhabi - and I’m saying merc fans because that’s what I saw and tbh no other team fans really had a reason.. unless they just hated max so maybe I should say mostly merc fans.

•there has been racist abuse towards any driver who is not white from multiple fanbases - pretty sure I remember Alex’s family having to be told not to look at comments on any socials because people were saying they eat cats amongst other things, and the amount of people who were awful to Zhou when he was announced by Alfa Romeo was insane. Can’t mention racist abuse without mentioning Lewis - the fact there are people who think it’s okay to call him slurs is vile. I get people don’t like have to like him, but the fact some peoples first insult to him is racist will never make sense and shows more about that person than Lewis. I do see this more on twitter tbh.

•people constantly wishing drivers to crash… even after Silverstone this year! Wtf is wrong with those people?! Drivers have died - most drivers on the grid know someone who has died from this in their career. I usually only see other drivers fans call out people who say that. Fans of the same driver seem to be quiet most of the time.

•Lando fans vs Daniel fans on the regular and they get really nasty. I’m fed up of the war going on between them.

•Lewis fans vs max fans CONSTANTLY at it when at least those drivers can show respect towards one another. They might not be friends but they seem way more mature than some of their fanbases. I know there are respectful fans on both sides and I actually interact with some (lbr, their teams are the ones typically in the media making little comments anyway) - but there are definitely those who act like either driver murdered that persons entire family and is the reason for every war ever to happen. Like my god, some people need to touch grass.

•Carlos vs Charles fans - so many people were mad about Silverstone for Charles… but the truth ferrari fucked up and that doesn’t mean Carlos didn’t deserve a win. Vice versa - I’ve seen some Carlos fans hating on Charles when something happens that affects his race.

There are so many more examples but I’d literally be constantly listing so I’ve put the ones I’ve seen most and some examples that have just stood out to me.

Instead of pointing the finger at each other, which does absolutely nothing but causing fights, actually hold fans accountable for their words. Not just of drivers you don’t like, but people who support your driver. All that person is doing is contributing to the toxic and hateful environment that seems to be all I see when I now go online. All it does is create a bad name for the driver and make people think all the fans of that driver behave that way. I’m sick of coming online and wondering what fucking fan war I’m about to witness and what happened when I was offline.

And I know people will say “but this drivers fans are worse”, I DONT CARE. I’ve said what I’ve said. It’s about making EVERYONE accountable for their words/actions instead of just the fans of drivers you don’t like. If you don’t hold everyone accountable, even if you’re friends with someone saying this toxic stuff, you’re part of the problem. that does include drivers too - but some people are very picky on which driver they think needs to be held accountable and which doesn’t… which makes no sense. Either hold every driver to that same standard or none of them, don’t pick and choose which driver needs accountability and which doesn’t

End of rant. I just needed to say this💀

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dbphantom · 1 year

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Since I've seen you post a lot about it, what is this H20 AU of yours I see you talk about? Is it a crossover? A revamp of the show? Something else? I see it's plural in your bio :0. I gotta know more, I'm curious

bbbbbb OMG thank you for asking!!!

So the answer is kinda... yes? H2O is my special interest, has been since I was about 6, so it's pretty much what my life revolves around XD

I have... a few H2O AUs. Basically for each major thing I'm into I have an H2O au for that piece of media. Like Borderlands or FFXV (currently my two 'big' ones). If you go back far enough on my blog you will probably find others, like TAZ or RvB or Generator Rex when I was big into those. These you can consider the crossovers, though they're more like me transplanting H2O's concepts into the piece of media I'm fixating on at the time.

I also have an AU for the main show [H2O: Just Add Water], which you can consider a re-vamp. Technically, I have two, one I did solo and one I worked on with one of my besties, the latter of which incorporates Mako Mermaids stuff. I also have one for the cartoon. That is also an H2O au that is a revamp of the show! Mostly because the cartoon makes me really sad with how mean the girls are to Lewis. Like they can be mean in the OG show, too, but their cartoon counterparts are something ELSE, let me tell you…

The crossovers are a little like this:

youtube

The re-vamps are more like this [in the style of the cartoon because I kinda love it, but you didn't hear that from me]:

So if you're still curious, to elaborate on what an H2O AU is in crossover form:

Zane Flynt from Borderlands 3 is a merman [all the Flynt bros are, and they all have their own powers]. I have a Guardian OC, the Driver, who basically created the moon pools as a Vault defense experiment and 'moonstruck' in this AU is a unique form of Guardian possession (which I called before the games actually introduced it as a mechanic hehe) and moonstones are the same crystals as the ones in s3 of H2O.

The Flynt bros using their magic:

The Driver (my Guardian OC):

H2O AU also rewrites the plot of the main game a bit to make it make more sense, gives Zane an actual backstory + fleshes out the Black Ops Outfit he joins, and adds a couple new 'DLCs', like Junpai-7. Junpai-7 is the main area of events for the majority of the H2O-centric stuff, as it's the place with the 'first' moon pool, where the Driver has been stuck since the Eridians disappeared, and has a whirlpool Vault with a sea monster.

That Vault is opened with an Eridian Compass, which kinda works like a log pose from One Piece in that it constantly points to the location of the Vault, as well as opens it. About 30 years before the events of BL3, the Rogues are smuggling the compass to Mary Geoise (a place on Junpai-7... totally a one piece reference since Junpai-7 is all about pirates :P), and Zane takes a job from Cutlord Karuu [Pirate Queen] to get the compass from them. This is why Clay does not acknowledge Zane's existence in the main game, because Zane is an annoying little shit and steals the compass from them XD

The Eridian Compass:

The compass ends up getting lost and nobody gets the Vault open until 30 years later when the VHs head to Junpai-7 on recommendation of Digby Vermouth because of the Sun Fest going on (the people of Junpai-7 celebrate the sun because the moon is what the Driver uses to create merppl/control them via possession, and the residents hate it because she does crime with it). The whole plot of the 'DLC' is the VHs arriving for the Sun Fest, getting roped up in the Driver's plots, and finding the compass to open the Vault. Is fun.

Zane's return to Junpai-7:

The second 'DLC' story involves a new Siren named Minerva, the Wise Owl, who is a villain and her power is Phaseline. Basically, she can yank your lifeline out of your body and cut it with a pair of scissors, then attach it to her own. She walks around with a giant pair of magnetic scissors [to cut the line] that turn into two swords. Her scarf is her lifeline weaved into a bunch of stolen ones. This grants her the memories, lifespan, and experience of those she steals the lifelines from. She can also control the movement of the scarf with her powers. This DLC focuses on chasing her down in order to turn Vaughn back to normal (he got turned into a baby when she stole his lifeline, because her power can't actually kill someone). Basically, I wanted a villain with time powers, but without the bullshit that happens when you give someone time powers. Shenanigans happen when she steals Zane's lifeline instead of Moze's and leaves him as a 30 year old with no memory of the Crimson Raiders.

Minerva:

There are also other magical creatures in this AU because I think they're cool. Like the Hammerlocks are werewolves (there's a precedent with wereskags. technically.), Zer0 is a dullahan (like Celty from Durarara), and Troy Calypso is a psychic. All these guys correspond to a crystal, like how Sirens have Eridium. For example, psychics are powered up by the red Eridian crystals, explaining why Troy has two of them around his neck all the time :D

Werewolf Alistair, Dullahan Zer0, and Psychic Troy:

The girl on the top of the 2nd pic is Hiromi, who was the sniper in Zane's old Black Ops Outfit. She's also psychic. Two other characters I made for this AU are Nino and Emma, who were also part of that Squad. Emma was the leader, while Nino was more of a brawler type. Those two are also dating. That Black Ops Squad is where the triangle logo on Zane's jacket (and other things) originated from, it's their squad logo. I think that has been retconned because of New Tales, but I don't consider New Tales canon soooo... Also, each of them has an animal motif on the back of their jackets. Zane's is the spider he has in the game, Nino is a snake, Hiromi is a hawk, and Emma's is a praying mantis. They met on Pandora after Dahl abandoned the others there and Zane found them. They find and fix up an old Dahl ship called the Lorelei (H2O reference) and Zane joins the squad after that.

You can read that story here, but it's old so... forgive any awkward wording, please.

The Black Ops Squad + their jacket designs [I'm not fond of Nino's now, this is kinda old]:

Their backstory also includes the Obsidian Block, which was a corporation Zane mentions in his backstory ECHO log (with Barnabas) that is then never mentioned again. So you KNOW I had to flesh that out. They're a medical corporation, like Anshin, so a lot of their focus is on biotech and stuff like that. They're headed by the corporate AI Dr. Denman (another H2O reference). They have a CEO that changes every few years, but they're more of a figurehead than anything, because Denman runs the show. They also have a hired mercenary named Sophie (Will's sister in H2O :D), and the current CEO at the moment is Greg (Dr. Denman's assistant in H2O). Barnabas originally joins the Black Ops Squad halfway through their travels (after they ditch the Lorelei and get a different ship bc she breaks down on them), but ends up backstabbing them after Zane falls for him and reveals his secret because Barnabas wanted $$$ from the Obsidian Block.

Dr. Denman from the Obsidian Block, and Zane in his infiltration getup x2:

[The logo is incorrect... I misheard him on the ECHO recording ;-; it's the Obsidian BLOCK, not BLACK]

Um I am really sorry, I was going to also explain FFXV H2O AU, but this got WAYYYY too long, I'm sorry about that. FFXV H2O AU is almost similar to BL2 H2O AU except... kinda... not... at all... >~<

It involves a story rewrite, but the story changes for FFXV H2O AU (I call it Alkali) are way smaller until post-Altissia. I also add backstory for Ignis Scientia (you might notice a trend with characters that don't have definitive backstories XD) and flesh out his uncle (Celor Scientia- I gave him his name... and his personality... and his design...) because dude had 2 lines in the audio drama Parting Ways and um. I felt like that wasn't enough.

But yeah! That's the gist of it. I add merpeople and then go absolutely fucking wild with the lore to make it work in-universe :)

Take this silly comic as apology and also as thanks for making it this far:

💙💙💙💙

#IM SORRY THIS GOT REALLY LONG #if you'd like to know more about any of my other AUs I would be so so happy to do a write up just let me know :D #H2O AU #ask #thank you!!#i have to go now!!!!#but im always down to talk about h2o au 👀

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