#perhaps if i ever make a second !!

[pinacoladamatata]

I realize now I've never really had anyone. not really. nothing that compares to you.

#astarion #astarion baldurs gate #astarion ancunin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tavstarion #yeah i'm still using that tag #will i ever colour any of these i hear you ask #no #not pictured: in about 2 seconds she's going to spin around and point at mallus thorm and say “kys :)” and then he's gonna. #its funny to me that astarion hates clowns but then he falls for perhaps the biggest clown of them all. bard tav. #uh oh lads lolth's chosen is falling for the vampire spawn and they're both making awful terrible power grab decisions #pina art

[pochapal]

this being the first theory battler has lampshaded and discarded as a joke is making me extremely 👁

#umineko liveblog #like. everything else has been taken seriously even when it's stupid #but this is outright dismissed the second it's mentioned. surely not.......... #ough but wait. the possibility of the captive beatrice falling pregnant is rather high #and there are several plausible scenarios with which a hidden child could work #i mean if we go full cliche then the answer here is that nanjo somehow helped beatrice hide the child #making him like double compromised with kinzo. almost like a moral stalemate even #also given the date the mansion was built we can assume this kid would be in their early/mid 30s present day #only known candidate on rokkenjima who fits the criteria would be rosa but that doesn't really makes sense #either that or gohda is a good 10-15 years younger than you'd think he is #but then i'm thinking about the ushiromiya shannon stuff and wondering if there isn't an orphanage link #not that shannon's the beatrice child because she's 15 years too young for that #but perhaps the kid was concealed in the orphanage and this is where the furniture stuff comes in? #every single servant kid is less than human unless they prove themselves to be a worthy substitute for the lost child #and the abuse comes from the fact that they also bear the brunt of kinzo's rage at this kid for having slipped out of his grasp #and of course none of the servant children can ever compare to kinzo's ideal so the cycle perpetuates forever #furniture in that they're being punished for not innately being an ushiromiya successor #this also feeds into the beatrice/kinzo becoming stuff too at a slightly different angle #the children are brought on expected to carry fragments of both beatrice and kinzo and tormented when they fail to do so #meanwhile i genuinely think if a beatrice kid existed they would presently be extremely far removed from rokkenjima #like some random well adjusted adult who knows very little of their origins #meaning that even if kinzo ever found this person they too would not be a fitting ushiromiya successor #yeah i think there might be some potential for this kind of theory

[ask-artsy-oncie]

I was reminded of the time that tumblr tried to make "monster high but with tumblr sexymen", and one of the characters was (obviously) the daughter of the once-ler.

And the funny thing to me about that is that in the canon of the illumination lorax movie, the once-ler is heavily implied to have an estranged daughter. I don't know all the sexymen off the top of my head but I think he might've been one of the only ones referenced in that trend who actually had a daughter in his own canon.

#Stupid shit #I'm gonna provide context in the tags for those who want it but I also like the idea of just leaving it there #Okay so for anyone who wasn't in the fandom: when people say the movie gave us no one to ship the Once-ler with they were LYING #The movie gave the Once-ler no MALE characters to ship him with - thus Oncest started #However - the second most popular Once-ler ship was between him and Norma #(Who - if you haven't seen the movie in a while - is Ted's grandmother who tells him about the Once-ler and how to find and barter with him #This was mostly just a ship born from theory and logical deduction - why does Norma know so much personal info about the Once-ler? #Were they perhaps friends? Lovers? In the past? Where was she in his life and at what points? When did she leave? #And people started making theories and shipping the two - primarily as past lovers. But there was art of them reconnecting for sure. #HOWEVER - this also meant that there was a theory that Ted's mom was also related to the Once-ler #As in - hmm this daughter of a very short fat woman is oddly tall and thin... hmmm #And so the running theory wasn't just that the Once-ler and Norma were once lovers - but that the Once-ler was also Ted's grandfather #Who was entirely estranged from the family due to self-exile and possibly bad blood between him and Norma at some point during his downfall #(I actually do think that it's funny that the Once-ler's youngest design purposefully draws some comparison between him & the Truffula tree #Only for the character theorized to be his daughter to also evoke some Truffula tree imagery in her design) #ANYWAYS that was a theory for about as long as the movie was out - Normaler (the ship) was a thing for as long (if not longer) than Oncest #And was present enough that there were like actively flame wars between the two groups of shippers #Like literally I directly remember this it's so insane to me that no one ever brings this up when talking about the shipping in this fandom #BUT THEN!!!! The Lorax comes out on DVD. The fandom rejoices and everyone takes pictures of themselves buying or holding the DVD. #If you dig far enough and I haven't deleted it yet you might find mine. I was in full cosplay wig and all. #Anyways - we have the movie in HD now!! No more cam rip footage!!! #And now we can take high-quality screenshots that truly show off the detail of the backgrounds in this movie #(The fandom loved to gush about how detailed and well-designed the movie's backgrounds were - that wasn't just a throwaway transition) #Only - what's this????? #In one of the shots at the end of the movie - we very briefly get to see the inside of the Once-ler's lurkim - like the living room #AND THERE - IN THE BACKGROUND - ONLY VISIBLE IN HD #IS A PHOTOGRAPH OF A WOMAN WHO SUSPICIOUSLY HAS THE EXACT SAME SILHOUETTE AS NORMA #Normaler fans rejoice and 'Grandpa Once-ler' theory is accepted into canon (or - more accurately - 'implied canon') by most fans #So yes - for those keeping track - while the evidence wasn't as concrete as it could have been #The Once-ler is implied to have been the father of Ted's mom in the movie

[starboundsingularities]

I NEED TO BE OBNOXIOUS ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVED THAT ACE ATTORNEY LAWBLR SIM YOU MADE BECAUSE OH MY GOD IT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT. I definitely can tell you put genuine effort into making that silly little thang and I wish that it would have 10,000 notes like right this minute. Hellsite hall of fame if you’re reading this please reblog this person’s ace attorney lawblr sim because it deserves an award

i think this is one of the nicest asks i've ever gotten thank you so so much (I'M RAMBLING IN THE TAGS SO MUCH BTW. if you want insight into the thought process or anything)

#honestly it was really fun to make !! #i like thinking about posts people would make #i definitely could've put more steel samurai posts in but i forgor. #perhaps if i ever make a second !! #it would also have to include at least one 'happy almost christmas to those who celebrate' 'who is putting this on my dash it is JUNE' #i feel like almost christmas would become a meme on lawblr #the only things stopping me from making another are a not enough post ideas #and b i don't want to be the unnecessary sequels guy #i think my biggest struggle was with usernames lol #since they would have had to be related to law in general or the trials specifically #or in other cases regular generic usernames. or the two gavinners fans #making up a username for a fandom is a lot harder when you can't acknowledge that it's a piece of media /lh #like nobody would be able to have an url referencing unnecessary feelings because nobody on lawblr would know that was said #forever going to be thinking about courtofwaw #a large chunk of usernames on it are from my ocs tbh. i have usernames picked out for them #one of them is just one of my friends' blogs shoutout to rubie for volunteering to be perjury girl #i think one was one of my old usernames #it was that and it was finding the emojis #favorites are definitely courtofwaw and just--ice #i can't explain why waw is so funny sorry #THIS GOT REALLY LONG #basically oh my god thank you so so much you mean the world to me /p #save #<- i am saving this post because it will singlehandedly fix me i think if i ever get sad #most of this kind of just started as 'i bet in the aa universe there's wild discourse about this' #also if i do make a second post. i'm stealing my 'you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma' post #SOMEONE would make it. idk who but i know someone would make that post unironically. #also one final note !! #none of the characters in the post were MEANT to be canon aa characters #however if anyone SEEMS like they would be i would LOVE to hear it tbh

[anaalnathrakhs]

getting out of my bed is ALWAYS a mistake <3

#give them an inch they'll take a mile #they always have to ruin everything #i just have to start the topic of ''uh so about dinner...'' and instead of perhaps. supposing. #that their kid struggling w various eating disorders might be already kinda stressed about the whole thing #they just go ooooooh yeah why not dine out tonight #FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU #why have you completely stopped giving a single flying shit about what might be difficult for me #the very second i started being able to control the VISIBLE UNSTOPPABLE PANIC #why does something have to be litterally the end of the world for me for you to fucking care for once #why is this the only way to have quality time with my own goddamn parents. mandated enabled binge sesh. #I KNOW IM THE PROBLEM #TRUST ME I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET OUT OF EACH OTHERS LIVES EITHER #BUT IN THE MEANTIME YOU COULD FUCKING TRY TO NOT TRAP ME INTO IMPROMPTU TORTURE SESSIONS #LESS THAN SIX MONTHS BEFORE IM OUT OF YOUR HAIR FOREVER HOPEFULLY #YOU SIGNED UP TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES WHEN YOU HAD A KID CMON DONT GIVE UP NOW #im. god. i know i shouldnt hate them for that. they do make sacrifices and efforts. #just entierly the wrong sacrifices and efforts that don't ever fucking help #they're full of love but goddamn are they awful at raising a child #broadcasting my misery #vent

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[instinctief]

bit out of character post perhaps but i’ve been playing a lot of pokemon soul silver on my old trusty 3ds lately & i just caught a shiny meowth very cute

#i never use normal type pokemon ever they seem so ? severely useless #but perhaps i’ll make her big and strong so she can be of some use #it’s my second shiny in my whole life!!!! first one was doduo in uh pokemon diamond i think??? is that possible???? #it was fugly green tho #meowth is has some pink details <33

[fleetsonourgecentral]

Another question IS:

IS scourge a womanizer in this? Like he flirts with every Girl that comes in his way before he dates Sonic but. Would he still do It after he and Sonic are in a relationship?

I feel like Scourge is too busy bragging about how he managed to score the Hero of Mobius to think about flirting with every girl he comes across. Like.... he could, but why would he when it's so much more fun to flirt with and annoy Sonic at every possible opportunity. Honestly, if anything his dedication to make sure everyone knows he's dating Sonic the Hedgehog has thoroughly ruined at least one future plan, where the freedom fighters would've liked to make Scourge flirt with someone as a distraction or something, but that plan won't work anymore because everyone on Mobius is unfortunately well aware Scourge is already taken, because he won't shut up about it.

This is, perhaps, for the best, because unlike Scourge, who just finds it funny when people flirt with Sonic, Sonic already gets jealous enough when other people flirt with Scourge. He would be steaming if Scourge flirted back, even if it was for a mission instead of out of actual interest

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #headcanon #like to make it clear i don't think scourge's lack of flirting is out of a 'i can't flirt anymore now i'm in a relationship' mindset #i can't remember if we ever see scourge flirt with other girls after he gets with fiona in the comics #i think he just genuinely doesn't think to do it because he's too wrapped up in bothering sonic #if scourge ever put like three seconds of thought into how jealous it makes sonic i could maybe see him doing some borderline flirting #like not technically flirting but close enough #just to piss sonic off and make him jealous #in his head it ends with sonic storming over and kissing him #laying his claim as of sorts #the reality of the situation is sonic would sulk and seethe about it and give scourge the cold shoulder #so perhaps it's a good thing scourge doesn't think to do it

[anthromimicry]

#I'VE GROWN INTO A DEEPLY UNLOVABLE ADULT: playlist. #I know this is kind of a weird place to start with misao BUT I swear this song is relevant to her character jsjsj #During the 400 years she spent in Japan after she left home she had actually become acquainted with Japanese Pirates. #And she had joined them on their ' travels ' ( which basically just means raids / illegal exploits JSJSJ ). #But something unexpected happened during her time spent with them. There was one other woman on the ship and of course Misao wanted to try- #to connect with them as a result. And Misao was left being in complete wonder of her as she had never seen someone be so agile with a sword #before that point since the other woman in question ( her name was reika ) was known for being a BRILLIANT swordfighter. and due to her- #bunk being right above reika's they often found themselves have late night convo's with each other. And over time Misao felt this- #overwhelming feeling of warmth within her heart whenever she was around her as they soon began spending pretty much every single waking- #moment of their time together. And because Misao had never experience romantic love before this point she had thought she just held a deep- #admiration for Reika for a while. But then Reika volunteered to show Misao how to sword-fight and that's when she knew that she loved Reika #Because every single time she would physically correct Misao's stance with her hands or show her how to do a move more properly- #Misao felt this uncontrollable desire to kiss her. She just thought that Reika was so beautiful. And she wanted to have the spirit- #of a ' warrior ' just like her. So she reallyyy wanted for Reika to be her gf and after having a nightmare one night- #(because she is unfortunately plagued with them sometimes) and Reika expressed her concern for Misao by telling her that she could sleep- #in the same bed as hers Misao could've sworn that her heart stopped for a second and she was hesitant to at first but crawled in bed next- #to her anyhow in the end and after just laying there for a bit Reika turned to face her + just look into her eyes for a moment Misao asked- #if she could kiss her and Reika laughed and said something akin to ' oh if you only knew how long i've wanted for you to say that. - #of course you can ' and from that moment on Misao + Reika were a couple. And Misao was sooo in love with her that she wanted to find a way- #to make her immortal too. But decided not to when the topic was met with Pity by Reika whenever Misao finally revealed to her what she- #really is. Though the years that Misao spent with her were perhaps the happiest she's ever had. And she still loves Reika to this day. #She is also the reason why Misao wants to perfect her sword-fighting skills. Because she wants to make Reika proud of her. #... wherever she may be. #NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.

[welcometogrouchland]

(for the drawing reqs) i recently finished toh s1 ;-; can you draw eda and lilith? also hiiii i hope youre having a good day :)

[ID: Two images featuring Eda and Lilith from the owl house. The first image shows the two at the end of season 1 embracing on a white background. Eda looks at Lilith, who's crying, with tears in her eyes, smiling. her hair pushed to the side to make room for Lilith's face on her shoulder. Words written above the two read "I just miss how it felt".

The second image has a black background and shows a glowing yellow silhouette of the sisters embracing in the first image. Inside the sillouhette is young Eda and Lilith- Eda is dragging Lilith along while leaves flit about them. Words above them read "standing next to you". End ID]

wearing matching dresses/ before the world was big

YESSSSS CLAWTHORNE SISTERS BRAINROT ALWAYS LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!

#the owl house #Eda Clawthorne #eda the owl lady #lilith clawthorne #lyrics in the drawing and in the caption are from before the world was big by girlpool #it's good these specific lines always make me think abt sisters and nostalgia for no particular reason? #my own biases I'm sure lol #anyway the first image is a bit sketchy and for the second one i did some lines on a VERY loose sketch #so like #not everything is perhaps in tiptop shape here #but tbh I'm REALLY happy with how the anatomy/pose came out on the first one I'm not great at drawing characters interacting #but this felt like a big improvement on my past attempts i feel like there's contact there #and in the second one i mainly enjoyed drawing young Eda and Lilith hehe #clawthorne sisters make me go INSANNNEEEE #especially on liliths part #she literally always cares abt her sister like that is consistent across every appearance she ever has even in agony of a witch #she's just the worlds most brainwashed and emotionally stunted and weird woman #and it means that in s1 her attempts to help just hurt #AND EDA ALWAYS FORGIVES HER because that's her sister. they're sworn enemies they r besties they're rivals they r allies #lilith will curse her and feel horrible abt it for the rest of her life and still make fun of eda. because thats her little sister #she's legally obligated to dunk on her #AND EDAS LIKE. lol okay whatever. #because that's her big sister and she loves her and edas always had the upper hand their whole life so she legit doesn't care #she'll tie lillys pointy shoes together or put glue in her shampoo or body swap her with a dog or guilt trip her for cursing her #it's just. it's sooooooo #i wish lilith had gotten more screentime in s2 because while all her beats hit for me i wish there was more breathing room #but like. i do still love the essential ethos behind the clawthorne sisters. yes its a beautiful tale of wrongdoing and reconciliation #but it's also abt 2 petty and mak adjusted women in their forties behaving like children every time the other is around #and i just think that's beautiful ❤️ #anyway I'm having a LOVELY day now that i got to talk abt these two iris lol thank you for ths

[sundaytragedy]

Wanna rewire my entire personality to one one that my fp adores tbh I know exactly what they desire and I can tweak it anytime and they probably wouldn't realize I really really really just want to be by your side but.... I don't want to be different. It's taken me so long to even accept this and connect all these fragments into the same person I've been the same person all along but I still struggle to believe that

#i kinda have a thing for reading people #its difficult online or even on the phone. way easier in person #even though i cant make direct eye contact with you for more than a second #that would be too embarrassing for me #something about me's changed and you haven't liked it for years now #wow just the thought of that makes me want to attempt to slit my arm down to the muscle in one swipe #i will Not do that i cannot go to hospital again im not strong enough #i was just there for food poisoning they would be like what the fuck man #did the toxins eat your brain!!! #considering what im saying rn perhaps they did #i dont think ive ever even cut to muscle #dear god imagine the pain you get with a bruise and thats protected by your skin #and your epidermis dermis and hypodermis to muscle all while there's blood vessels in there and nerve endings good god

[rustedpipe]

should i remake my archie the boxer edit. thinking

#i would have to get a lot of the clips again i was insane and used my ipad and clips from pirate websites. #and i could make it a little longer? perhaps? #the main thing is that it was made pre s6 so theres like zero invincible archie. which is so sad to me #it was also the second thing i ever made like i think i could do it better now #hm. #m.txt

[darabeatha]

@corrchoigilt said ; *stares at moriarty for an uncomfortably long time* " . . . Why are you wearing clown makeup?" / 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃 .

Ohh no...

no no no-

It's THAT feeling again- that exact same feeling he gets when he overhears his older archer self trying to use modern slang. His skin is crawling !! his fingers are slightly twitching, he feels itchy all over- his heartbeats are rapidly increasing, and he feels dizzy; nauseous even !! his mouth is wide open.

Absolutely speechless.

This is... This feeling...! yikes!!

CLOWN? What is he even talking about!!? he's clearly pulling at his hair! there is no way his makeup is making him look like a clown!! it's there to make him look sophisticated AND simultaneously soften his intense stare !! blue is elegance itself, it conveys trustworthiness! ❝ WRONG- That doesn't even make sense !!? ❞

#corrchoigilt #;m.oriarty #WHAT ARE YOU SAYINGGGGGGGGG #he is feeling SO much cringe his face is going to turn all the way inside OUT #that meme of 'a.kira! a.kira!' and he goes like ARGHRGHHHHH #THATS HIM RN #E N O U G H #will he ever see himself the same in the mirror- find out next issue #/im actually not sure why he wears it besides me headcanoning that it's to either sharpen his gaze or make himself look friendlier? #/i thought perhaps it's part of some symbolism related to his story in f.ate and in his official lore #of wearing a facade; makeup in the sense of appearing/showing himself as something else #but the thing is; even in his third and second ascension he keeps it #i haven't done t.raum yet so maybe they explain it there #truly a mystery but im sure that he thinks it looks cool on him

[fingertipsmp3]

Do you ever have those shifts where just everything goes wrong

#bitch tell me why not a single person emptied the fucking bucket and it LEAKED ALL OVER THE FLOOR #and at the same time we were trying to make 5 plant based drinks (which had all been ordered in a row mind you) AND one of the coffee #machines had decided it wasn’t going to make hot chocolate anymore #AND someone ordered two luxury hot chocolates AND we had hot food to cook #i was trying to serve customers while avoiding stepping in the #coffee/milk/water mess on the floor #AND keeping an eye on two milk frother machines and trying not to get in the way of the two people who were fixing the machine #a job that takes one person mind you #like why am i the only person serving customers right now?? why am i the ONLY person who ever seems to be serving customers #at times like this #and customers were being so rude for no reason and i was seconds away from blowing up at somebody #i resorted to being sarcastically nice with everybody and cashiering as fast as possible to rush everyone through #and then i did some washing up and i had to pretty much order one of my coworkers to take over cashiering so that i could wash up #and i ✨sliced by thumb open trying to wash a knife✨ because of course i did #and THEN tell me why my coworker managed to fuck up on the till after being on it for about 5 minutes and perhaps 2 customers #i was like. i can’t help you. i’m fucking bleeding and i can’t find a plaster in the first aid kit because motherfuckers are apparently #cutting themselves constantly #i found one eventually though #then i got back on the till lol. and felt vindicated. like girl NOW do you realise why i get snippy when i’m trying to cashier AND make #drinks AND get cakes AND hot food orders were coming through??? #you took over from me for five minutes and almost charged a guy 24.60 for a hot chocolate. DO YOU SEE NOW #do you see now why i get snippy when there are four alive competent people behind me doing fuck all and i need a latte before i can get rid #of this person. and not only have you not made me the latte but you are STANDING FULLY IN THE WAY OF THE MACHINE I NEED TO USE TO MAKE THE #LATTE??????? like if you’re not going to help then at least get out of the thoroughfare. goddamn #i love when a 4 hour shift literally feels worse than a 9-5. it’s great actually :))))))))))))) #personal

[noxtivagus]

oh my god it's 9 am

#🌙.rambles #i'm not rlly sleepy.. n i'm busy 😭😭 so much to do fr #i'm being productive at least but i think i'm. i'm using this productivity too as a distraction #from my loneliness. from my thoughts n my burdens n regrets. my regrets.. they're so burdening fr oh my god #my regrets.. they're so burdening fr oh my god #i try to take my mind off being too. meticulous ig or really just placing too much importance on my school performance #generally i've always been doing well. #i had high honors after all back in gr8 n i think it was just the subjects in filipino that pulled my grades down in middle school #i am.. not the best w filipino but my grammar is good. i'm good w systems n idk generally just acads #but my proficiency in the language itself makes me perform worse :/ #other than that i do great w everything else #back when we had exams (my school took them away now ever since the pandemic) i would always do well #always one of the top of my class. never quite the best ig but perhaps second. #if i was.. born in another country in the first place i think i'd be even better than i am right now #without filipino fuck that i have nothing but hatred for it #it's useless to me. all my life everything's just proved it's worthlessness #i don't want to stay in this country at all. i hate it here. #i've tried to love my country before but.. it's so lonely here. so much of it has given me pain #n though there r things dear to me like my friends n family here n wtvr #i wouldn't trade that at all. those r rlly just the things i hold on to #it's so. infuriating thinking of if i had education from a more developed country.. i'm naturally intelligent. #it's in my genes fr n i've always worked hard. my curiosity is insatiable and has brought me far #this country is a hindrance to me and my hatred for it is honestly just unfathomable. #loneliness; most of my life i grew up not having friends sharing my interests. now it's better though at least. i'm v grateful for that #but the environment as a whole is so. different i guess. imagining na n europe n australia.. their cons n all have stuff i'm actually #interested in. yk it feels like a miracle just seeing something other than genshin in this country. it's too simple n boring here. it hurts #careers i want to pursue are far from ideal here. they're too difficult. career choices r v limited n i don't think education is enough #there's rlly just so much hinderances in my life here. not to mention the humiliation i faced by my peers w. my accent when speaking filo.. #i've always been good at grammar but. w the influence of my interests i do have a bit of an accent. #no one ever intentionally meant to hurt me but.. i can't deny it yk? even if it was just for fun.. being laughed at really hurt.

[travalerray]

fanfic writing is always like:

questionable characterisation (not really familiar yet) => oh this is actually good => questionable characterisation (projecting)

#looking at my m/dzs fics and uh #uhhhhhh #J/C and L/WJ are the biggest victims of this #which is why I make a point to revisit the novel when I can esp for longfics #but sometimes I go back and see ''oh I really wrote this one shot well. Perhaps my writing at the beginning was actually good?'' and get #slapped in the face by four idiots and the City of ghosts #now that I think about it. Writing L/XC consistently as having an overprotective complex over his didi and writing W/WX having a weird #complex over his shidi is making me laugh so much #kk's rambles tag #having written and changed my opinions about the characters during the course of a singular fic only happened for tainted Ambitions #so you have the strange shift from the revenge fantasy drama to something that might actually be compelling if done well #(I want to do it well but I don't want to touch b/nha with a ten foot pole these days. Not because of the fandom but because I don't like #the source material anymore. Controversial opinion but anyways) #my opinions about dg/rp didn't change much during fic writing nor did the characterisation change that much #even if it has the second highest fic count after m/dzs. Hm. #probably because i mostly write for it as a writing exercise #and the one I did start as a proper fic is abandoned because I lost energy #(my personal opinion is that my j/c POV is the most suited to my writing due to my tendency to make similar protagonists in my original #works. It's a little funny because his manner of speech in his internal narrative is plenty similar to both Romila and Rajanya in the #''why in the ever living Fuck'' even if they all have different motives. #or maybe I am too used to writing cranky people with unresolved and unrequited love. Anyways)