#rape prevention | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-apples-were-monitored · 2 months

Text

this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

#this hit me incredibly hard i'm sorry #quiet on set #rape tw #abuse tw #i'm not addressing the jamie lynn spears rumors because it's ghoulish to speculate when she wasn't even a subject of the doc #i hope she's found some healing and honestly it is unforgivable how the public slutshamed a 16 year old #finding out from my sources that people at the time joked that dan knocked her up like #i'm sorry? you slutshamed her and made jokes and made light of a potential rapist???#i will throw hands #also asking people to not bring up the past actions of drake bell or amanda bynes in this discussion #they're not perfect victims but nobody is #a vulnerable child is a vulnerable child and i would like to live in a world where we focus on prevention so people don't grow up disturbed

11 notes · View notes

xcal1bur25 · 4 months

Text

It's my hot take that the most infuriatingly tragic part of the whole Artoria and Mordred dynamic is that Mordred was actually the perfect heir, one who could bridge the gap and be the leader Britain both needed and wanted, whereas Artoria could only ever be the former.

However, Artoria's perfectionism, the impossible standard that she held herself to, meant that she would judge even a perfect clone of herself as an unworthy heir. And Mordred isn't a perfect clone of Artoria, Mordred...is a flawed one. A version of Artoria who laughs loudly and rages louder, who wears their heart on their sleeve, whose love of battle is second only to their loyalty to their people. A version of Artoria who is, unlike the original, undeniably, unquestionably, human.

It's the perfect irony. Artoria's true heir is a homunculus who is more human than she ever seemed to be. A weapon forged with the sole purpose of destroying her that hardly needed convincing to swear undying loyalty to her kingdom and ideals. Every bit as brave, every bit as selfless, every bit a born leader (after all, the rebellion did not gather around Mordred out of nowhere) as their father. But also, not an inhuman machine, someone who could laugh and celebrate with their soldiers as much as lead them. One who could be seen to share in their people's anger and joy and grief and everything in between. Everything their father was, and everything their father didn't realize she needed to be, despite an origin and upbringing designed to create the exact opposite.

But because of Artoria's perfectionism, because she saw every bit of her own humanity as the thing that would destroy her country, instead of saving it. She could not understand that for all a king must exist for their people, a king must be of their people as well. Artoria looked her perfect successor in the face, she looked the solution to all her ever-growing problems in the face, she looked the embodiment of all the humanity she was trying to pretend she didn't have in the face,

and she said no.

And for that, Camelot burned.

#fate #saber #artoria pendragon #mordred #okay obviously this is a bit harsh on artoria's reasoning #like for all that it's partially true #the whole “homunculus rape baby” thing certainly didn't help #for all that it's neither of their faults #and mordred...definitely overreacted as well #but mo was like. chronologically 8 ish? and physically and mentally an angsty fuckin teenager.#and one who was absolutely starved for validation and love #so their tendency towards emotional overreaction was both a temporary and fixable problem #in other words this isn't “actually mordred's rebellion was completely justified and they can't be blamed” because it wasn't and they can #for all that it likely would have happened anyways under another banner at some point #it's “this was an eminently preventable outcome but unfortunately artoria is a worse father than toji fushiguro”

17 notes · View notes

random-bi-kid · 24 days

Text

FUCK YOU KEAGON

#rape prevention #suicide prevention

0 notes

rambleonwithrosie · 10 months

Text

PSA for protecting yourself in public places!

Be an owl.

Owls will make themselves look more threatening than they are when in danger.

So.

O - be OUTSPOKEN

I know we're children of the internet and half of this site is on the spectrum or just has crippling social anxiety but save your life and speak with confidence if some creep is talking to you. Don't shrink. Don't try to be small. Be unapologetic and tell them to stop and be loud. Make a scene. A little embarrassment is worth surviving a potentially hostile situation. This is your permission to be rude.

W - White Lies

I'm one of the most honest people I know and lying is contrary to my belief system but there are exceptions (Rahab lied to save the spies in the Bible) so i feel fudging if you have to to save yourself is acceptable. So have that "fake phone call" (or use voice memo to send a real message so someone DOES know the vital info like location and eta to your destination) tell the creep you're on your way to visit your dad. Don't tell the creep you're alone even if you are. BS it. And I personally feel bringing Dads into the conversation is better than boyfriends because well they can't really argue with you having a dad like they can about whether you have a boyfriend or not.

L - LOOK THEM IN THE EYES

I know all my spectrum kids out there are like "I would rather die" but if you make yourself do it you might save yourself from actually dying. Confident eye contact slashes your chances of becoming a victim significantly. I was fortunately taught this as a child and so I instinctively square up when I feel in danger. We had this campus group who went around in costume especially during homecoming week. I was walking alone and two of the costumed spirit members came up to me trying to scare me (not sure if for laughs or serious threat) and i stared them down and didn't flinch when they made some scary noise so this even works if you can't SEE their eyes. Just square up look them up and down. Make eye contact. Talk to them (put the curt professional tone on them. Just the iciest voice you can manage talk to them like you came there to fire them from their job) If you look them in the eye they'll think you're confident and they'll also know you know how to identify them in a lineup

In conclusion don't be like a frightened deer in headlights

Be bigger than you are and make unsettling eye contact like an owl

or my personal favorite embodiment of self defense persona

Be a frilled lizard. Act like you came there to fuck THEIR shit up today.

14 notes · View notes

hard--headed--woman · 9 months

Text

gay men be like what? are you joking. i do not have male privilege nor do i suport the patriarchy. what the hell are you saying you dumb fucking cunt. i hope you get raped like you deserve you whore

15 notes · View notes

personal-blog243 · 8 months

Text

CW: homophobia, sexism, racism, ageism, incest, emotional abuse….

Men have such a victim complex about relationships because of the association of the “nerd” stereotype with maleness. It really has lowered the bar for men so much.

My guy friend was making a joke about how he’s not attractive and supposedly can’t get women. His sister had to remind him that he has slept with multiple women before and has had multiple girlfriends before and has had “friends with benefits” and his longest relationship was over 3years! He was able to get these women in spite of the fact that he clearly has a misogynistic sense of entitlement to women. 🙄

His sister who is MORE conventionally attractive than him but has still never dated had to remind him of that. 🙄

This man has also:

. Mocked women’s asses for not being big enough

. Made jokes about being entitled to blowjobs

. Mocked women for not giving good enough blowjobs

. Mocked women’s vaginas for not being good enough (especially older women)

. Publicly shamed, blamed, and guilt tripped a woman who rejected him for his suicide attempt (common manipulation tactic)

. Publicly shamed and guilt tripped his ex girlfriend in the middle of game night because she hadn’t sent him nudes yet! 🙄

. Uses misogynistic slurs as long as they include “white” in front of them

. Laughs at rape scenes in movies

. Makes incest and beastiality jokes about the south and mocks southern accents (he is from TN)

. Makes homophobic jokes about politicians he doesn’t like being closeted gay (he is straight)

. Makes racist jokes about black penises (he’s white)

. Has a misogynistic homophobic lesbian fetish

Yet he still has more sexual and romantic experience than me. So he’s basically a typical straight male. 🙄

His name is William Thomas Lasley and he lives in Hermitage TN

6 notes · View notes

alostlittleriverlotus · 10 months

Text

minor mention of rape/rapists/sa mention, ableism as well

Literally STOP COMPARING NPD AND NARCISSISTS TO RAPISTS

Like I've not seen it much, but THATS MORE THAN ENOUGH

Rape is a fucking traumatizing act!!! A personality disorder/person with personality disorder is NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!!! The fact narc abuse people make this comparison is so dangerous and harmful!!!

Sincerely

A fucking victim/survivor of csa AND a narcissist.

#actually narcissistic #surviving narcissism #narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #npd safe #ableism #cw ableism #tw sa mention #Y'all are literally so effing gross for comparing npd and “narcissistic abusers” to rapists and murderers #You are actually so disgusting if you do that and it's so dangerous and wrong #How fucking dare you #Yes I'm in an emotional state I hate fucking seeing this shit #Don't you ever fucking compare a personality disorder to murder and rape #Ableists stfu #fuck ableism #Also saying that we need to be picked up in a mental institute to prevent us hurting others #Actually stfu #Yes I'm upset it's disgusting to compare a rapist and murderer to a literal trauma victim with a personality disorder #It doesn't matter if your abuser did or didn't have npd #Fixating on the narcissism/npd will do nothing to actually help #It doesn't matter what disorders an abuser has at all #fuck anyone who believes this bs

10 notes · View notes

marshmellowtea · 1 year

Text

not to get too heavy with the discourse this fine morning but i think an uncomfortable corollary to “a lot more people than you think have been sexually assaulted and a lot of them don’t even realize it” is that “there are also a lot of people who have sexually assaulted people, some of them without even realizing that’s what they’ve done, some of them survivors themselves”, which is part of the reason i really think we need to get rid of this rape is a special kind of evil, kill all rapists mindset that we as a society tend to have. i’m not saying we should tolerate that kind of action or that i think it’s okay but i think it’ll be a lot more helpful for survivors of sexual assault to focus our efforts on creating better support systems for survivors (including spaces where they can talk openly and honestly about their experiences), dismantling systems that allow rapists to have power over their victims, and increased awareness over what sexual assault actually is and can look like. i don’t think that’s going to stop it completely—i know there’ll always be people who’ll want to hurt other people and rape is one such way to do that—but i think it’s a lot more likely to cause tangible help for people if we focus on recovery and prevention than just vindictively trying to punish every rapist, which historically has not really done much to prevent rape or facilitate healing, even for the people whose rapists do end up punished in some way for it.

#the stigma around this sort of thing prevents survivors from getting better but it also impedes people who have committed sa from #acknowledging what they did in the first place which makes it easier for them to go on and do it again #that’s not even bringing up the fact that accusing people of sex crimes is a real convenient way of turning people against people you don’t #like specifically #both as a part of sweeping political movements and on personal social levels #it’s real easy to ruin people’s lives with these kinds of accusations even if they aren’t true #and honestly i don’t think that’s okay #rape tw #discourse #marshy speaks

14 notes · View notes

finewhateveritsgojoverig · 6 months

Text

they cut jaime's hand off! good

#got lb #i mean i wish they had done it for different reasons than preventing brienne's rape but still

3 notes · View notes

beevean · 6 months

Note

Rosaly: Finds Hector, gives him a place to be after he flees from Dracula and helps him heal; Julia: Helps Hector heal from the pain of losing Rosaly and helps him move on; Lenore: Beats him and rapes him. And yet, thanks to Netflixvania simply being more popular than CoD, Lenector is his biggest straight ship (I honestly don't know how any of his non-straight ones compare to it) to the point where I'm not even sure he has ship names with Rosaly and Julia

Hectaly is a tag. I checked it, and aside from my posts (lol), there are some posts made by people who were sure that Rosaly would appear in S4. oh those sweet summer children.

Helia doesn't exist, because no one ships them 😂 I wish I could, because I like their chemistry and the potential scenario of them bonding through their grief... but the circumstances of Julia looking like Rosaly and also being Isaac's sister and Hector wanting to kill Isaac in cold blood and indirectly causing his death are too uncomfortable for them to have a healthy relationship. Man :( I just want them to be besties. I love imagining Julia teasing Hector Isaac-style lol

(as for the non-straight ships, the two versions of Isaactor are by far the most popular ones, even more so than Lenector. Then there's N!Hectorcard. Hectorcard is mildly popular in Japan, from what I've seen. The others count as rarepairs :P)

Anyway. I have just finished writing to my friends a breakdown to explain why their sex scene is actually vile rape on Lenore's part (I can share if people are interested! I don't want to come off as obsessed lmao). It just... boggles my mind that shippers gloss over it, because they happen to have decent chemistry and parallels in S4. Y'all really think the writers did them dirty because they didn't live happily ever after????? the absolute fuck??????????????? WHY DO YOU THINK A RAPE VICTIM SHOULD HAVE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH HIS RAPIST Y'ALL SOUND LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO OPPOSED FRANCA VIOLA

It makes me sick. This is not hyperbole. I don't want to judge shippers because hey, whatever, you can't judge morality based on ships, but jesus christ I have not met a single Lenore fan/Lenector shipper that didn't try to bridge the contrast between S3 and S4 with some of the most nauseating rape apologism I've seen in the wild. I have more respect for those who say "idc lenore is hot", at least it's honest in its shallowness.

And then my poor girl Rosaly, who represents the best of humanity, who gave Hector hope and a reason to live on after his traumatic past, who appreciated my man for being kind and helpful and not just because he's handsome (although also because of that lol girl has great taste), is relegated to "that killed chick" that Hector gets over in a few days, because only five people read the CoD prequels. Life is so cruel.

Have some cuties, as a treat <3:

(i am the lil spidey on hector's head)

#anti netflixvania #i feel insane #i feel gaslighted #like. i actually like the concept of lenector in s4 #i do! jailer and victim bonding because they are actually nice people who get mistreated by their companions #the nature of being a vampire and the nature of being a human #lenore choosing to look at hector in her last moments #there is the potential for a genuinely tragic love story!#but i have this tiny flaw that prevents me from forgiving rape and abuse :^)

5 notes · View notes