#ren rambles

[renguro]

whenever i draw leed my notes EXPLODE... i wonder if it's just because i draw her well or if there's an unspoken legion of leed fanatics out there.

#ren rambles #dungeon meshi

[pyjamacryptid]

Feeling like the ultimate nerd niche right now. I’m studying information science, specifically cataloguing, while in a library. Immersive experience. Like a 4D movie.

Self-portrait on Lined Notebook Paper, c. 2023

#ren rambles #library #libraries #information science #library and information science #cataloguing #my art #ren doodles #doodle #doodling

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously. It makes my skin crawl.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

#Mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi #ren rambles #dungeon meshi meta #tag later #I refuse to post at prime time look at my dunmeshi meta boy #tw sa #sa tw #this is literally 1200 words slash 6 pages if I added citations and a proper essay format as well as an introduction to Mithrun's character #and general introduction of the text itself #this could literally be an academic paper #lmao #ren meta #rb this plsss i want ppl to read my essay

[murdockmeta]

I believe Matt Murdock would rather shoot himself in the foot before he'd ever cheat on his significant other.

However.

Studies have shown that, sometimes, Matt Murdock really loves shooting himself in the foot.

#matt murdock #daredevil #daredevil comics #ren rambles #BUT I DIGRESS

[luciacaecilia]

Happy TENTH anniversary of BBC Merlin’s ending. In that time, not only has it remained a popular show, but it’s thriving. It outlasted the Queen of England. It remains in the top 100 for tumblr, and Alexander Vlahos still posts the yearly ‘I killed Arthur and Merthur is canon’ thing.

Y’all are like roaches in a nuclear blast.

EDIT: Vlahos does not post it yearly, and has since proven to hold some problematic views (x)

#saying y’all like i’m not one of you #how are you not dead?! i have no idea! #THE MERLIN FANDOM OUTLASTED THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND #what a christmas that was #bbc merlin #merthur #merlin x arthur #the diamond of the day #5x12 #5x13 #merlin #ren rambles #medieval

[sugartoken]

Quackity stans suddenly caring about doxing is probably the funniest thing to come out of this.

#ren rambles

[renoed]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT LUKE AND HIS CHIHUAHUA

#ren rambles #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me luke

[sourb0i]

I just realized: in Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest, Davy Jones believes love is a curse, and especially betrothal/marriage; Jack even goes so far as to temp Jones with splitting up Will and Elizabeth's engagement. He's been hurt before by love-- Calypso abandoned him when he longed to see her most.

Jones' heart is buried on an island where the only building is an abandoned church. We learn that, the one time he was allowed to go ashore, he waited for her and she wasnt there. Connected the dots yet?

Jones was going to marry Calypso at the church we see in DMC, and he spent his one day ashore waiting for her at the alter.

This also makes the start of the movie, where Elizabeth is waiting at the alter for Will (who's been arrested), so much more punch-y. They're a near perfect parallel to Jones and Calypso.

#potc #pirates of the caribbean #davy jones #calypso #will turner #elizabeth swann #ren rambles

[rentalboos]

I think we really need a companion like Ian or Romana or Turlough back. Give the Doctor someone he constantly bickers with. Someone smarter than him he’s constantly annoyed at. Someone secretly trying to murder him. Put some conflict into the TARDIS. I beg.

#Ren rambles #doctor who

[ren-from-mars]

Omg hiiii guys look! It’s Becky! I participated in the wonderful @hatchetfield-yearbook-project and got to draw her for the Alumni page <33

Go check out the project, it’s chock full of amazingly talented artists and writers who all captured their characters perfectly! Seriously, reading through some of the club articles I needed to convince myself it wasn’t canon work it’s sososososo good!

Down below are the little details I did while working out how Becky would have been both in highschool as well as how she aged!

I focussed on a lot of lines mentioned in black friday and nightmare time to try and get a grasp on how exactly Becky would have changed over time. Things like “she’s not as hot as she used to be”, how long she was with Stanley, how working at the Hospital is Incredibly Fucking Stressful, and of course her “Rah Rah Team Spirit”! I went a bit overboard in the details but if you’re reading this right now you want them so BAM here it is!

First off, Hatchetfield High Becky!

These are all just my personal headcanons, none of the appearance based details are directly stated as canon and are rather derived from my personal beliefs for her and things stated about her in the show.

Before the list- I put her in the same HFHS cheer team uniform that we see Brenda and Stacy both wear! I like to think that people wearing their cheer uniforms around the school is just. a think the Nighthawks Cheer Team just Do, and have done for years. They're insane like that (and the dark blues really compliment Beck!)

Her Rah Rah Cheer Spirit leaks into everything, and she does her makeup often with a silver and blue eyeshadow. she changes this look up every now and then, but being the cheer captain and dating the star quarterback comes with its own. social expectations on appearance, so Becky regularly goes back to her tried and true method.

star earrings star earrings! blue for the nighthawks, but the star is based on the fact that Becky and Tom would often stargaze on the football field, especially after the big games. Hatchetfield would have been a pretty bright city even back then, but it wasn't nearly as light polluted as it is in the present day. Stargazing together became their way to unwind and talk, without people listening in on every little thing being said and spreading rumours. Not like they would dare do that to two of the most popular people in school.

This is more targeted to her whole face, but this comes back to Beck doing her makeup every day. Obviously that shade of red isn't natural on her, but she would put it on the exact same every day that eventually people forgot about it. This ties into her 'not being as hot as she used to be', because she was always dressed up and wearing makeup. God forbid a woman age and not do things to be performative and appeal to you any more

The locket! This locket was a gift from Tom to Becky when they were together. She chose to put a photo of Tom in it, taken after the Nighthawks had won a big game (he had the biggest goofiest smile on his face). Note that the chain is long enough to fit underneath current Becky's clothes! She kept it all this time, Stanley told her to get rid of it, but she put it under a floorboard in their house in a simple box. When they *cough* broke up, she got the box back out but didn't wear the locket again until her and Tom inevitably meet again and reconnect. Now, she wears the locket every day, and Tom Hates that old photo of him (but in reality, he's touched that she kept it all this time). Despite that, he would never in a million years make her change it. In the worlds where they get to stay together and look after Tim, she adds a photo of Tim to the locket but still doesn't change Tom's photo. Years later Tim hates the old photo but knows how much it means to his mom.

And now for present Becky!

Wrinkles !! because that happens and is very regular ! My only thing with this piece is that I wish I would've made them a bit more prominent. Most of her wrinkles are on her glabella (above the nose, between the eyebrows) because she had them furrowed so often. she also has forehead wrinkles and wrinkles next to her eyes, as well as a permanent slight eye bag. Those sleepless nights never did her any good.

She now rocks simple pearl earrings. They get in the way a whole lot less, and aren't distracting at work. Not much to say about them (but look at how tasty the rendering is on them!!!).

Back to wrinkletown, she only has slight wrinkles on either side of her nose. After cheer, she didn't do a whole lot of smiling.

White hairs! She has gone through so much stress don't you even tell me she wouldn't be slightly greying from that. She killed her husband. Her hair colour is also oh so slightly desaturated because of more natural greying (where the hair just loses pigmentation and goes blonde or white over time, but with no singular grey hairs. man red hair is weird). She also works at the hospital, you cannot tell me she wouldn't have a few unnatural grey hairs from all the shit she's been through.

This is just pointing out the height of her collar, the locket is there :)))))

I also forgot to point out, but her lack of makeup! This absolutely leads certain people to perceive her as ""less hot"" because of how she was constantly dressed up in highschool to maintain status. She was never disingenuous about her care for the Nighthawks and her cheer spirit, but highschool. Does something to people.

And another thing, that goes over both pictures, her hair is shorter! This is to help keep it out of the way easier at work. Her hair is tied into a high pony in highschool (again, think Brenda and Stacy), so letting it down would make it a Heap longer. Now she makes a lot of her hair decisions based on what makes work most convenient.

That's it! Please if you have any questions pester me about it, Becky is my girl i love her so much <33333 and another reminder to go check out the project!!!!!!

#typing mom instead of mum hurt in the soul .. its pretend to be american time #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #becky barnes #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetfield yearbook project #hatchetfield high #art #my art #ren from mars #creativity on mars #ren rambles #<- for how many paragraphs of becky hcs there were

[pyjamacryptid]

To Kill The King

GWEN & MORGANA (+ Uther)

I’ve been thinking a lot about To Kill The King 1x12 lately and how it established, early on, that Gwen and Morgana were narrative foils.

This would’ve been a fanvid if I had the time or less than 10 Merlin-related wips lol so it gets a meta post instead <3

#bbc merlin #Merlin #merlin meta #meta #to kill the king #Merlin 1x12 #Merlin S1E12 #guinevere pendragon #morgana pendragon #uther pendragon #merlin emrys #bbc gwen #bbc morgana #merlinedit #undescribed #bc it’s almost midnight for me and I’m almost asleep 😭 #ren rambles #kinda?? #morgwen #morgana x gwen

[starstrike]

I'm obsessed with how Shivers will outright tell you that the anodic music kids will fail. I think this implies that, even if you build up the club, nobody will ever visit it.

I think this was one of the times in Disco Elysium that I really... got it. After reading this, I decided to tell the kids to scram. They wouldn't succeed anyways. It felt terrible. I reloaded my save; I couldn't stand to do anything else. Just because hope, beauty, or love are temporary, does that make them any less valuable? Just because you know something will be snuffed out doesn't mean you shouldn't try. That hope and love is valuable for its own sake.

At the time, I was going through a severe depressive episode. I was moving out in six months before moving cross country, so why should I bother investing into my environment? I had this old fish tank I'd poured effort into, once. Got some new fancy aquasoil that would be great for my plants, but it needed time sitting underwater. I left it like that for… oh, months. This damaged, empty, sad little thing that I had once loved immensely.

But building that nightclub with those kids made me change my behavior. I got myself a $6 betta fish, shoplifted some plants from petco, and built my tank up again. Even knowing I'd need to break it apart. So what if it ends? So what if the dance club never becomes popular? You build something and dance with your community, even if your dream fails. Even if it ends. There was love there.

And I think that's one of the things Disco Elysium is about. The kids and their nightclub is a microcosm of the knowledge that the pale is enroaching on Insulinde and the rest of the world. There is a literal, tiny, hole in the world inside of that church. The hole is another reminder of entropy, of the End. And all of this takes place in an edifice of a centuries-old regime and a religion of maintaining the status quo. A religion of broken glass and broken promises. But you take those shards and build on top of them, transforming their meaning. You grow, you build, instead of apathetically letting things remain the same. You find hope and beauty and love even though you know it's unsustainable.

Because the 'now' is valuable in itself. And I love that about this game.

#disco elysium #disco elysium meta #shivers #acele #also pls rb if u like this teehee #ren meta #ren rambles

[sugartoken]

keep seeing weird dnf tweets that make me want to kill myself the setups are soooo bad

Ok let me talk my shit about this because it has been brewing in my head for A WHILE. The set ups are, in fact, horrendous. People cannot be talking on main about Dream and George having sex in the background of Sapnap's streams. I don't care if you say it is a joke. You can't be posting links to your NSFW dnf fanfics on main. I don't know how to get this through people's heads. You can't be doing that shit on twitter.  I think the problem is, people don't realize what Dream meant when he talked about his boundaries in The Truth. The problem is (in my reading) far less that he actually is upset over some person writing a dnf smut fic on ao3. The issue is the public perception of that, and what that does to the perception of Dream and his fanbase. The problem is, in short, the accessibility of that sort of content. Posting it on your main twitter for everyone and their mother to see is an issue. Because people do see that. People outside of the fandom culture see that. And it informs people within the fandom on what is acceptable, and so the boundaries that Dream tried to make will just keep getting pushed and pushed until we are right back where we started. 

I don't think Dream gives a fuck if you are posting on tumblr or ao3 or your private twitter nsfw shit about him (this is not an endorsment of that, to be very clear). I think what he cares about is that stuff being seen by people casually on twitter, and thus a perception of him being formed or validated. If you post some smutty fic on ao3 someone has to be actively looking for it to find it. If you are posting the fucking link on your main twitter, anyone scrolling through the "dream" search could find that easily. Same with talking about dnf fucking and sucking while sapnap is streaming. People are seeing that shit. That is actively affecting their perception of the sort of people in Dream's fanbase, and it's a perception Dream does not want, because it actively hurts him. It's hard to fight against queerbaiting allegations when the fan arguing in someone's replies is called "dnfmarshmellow" or something. 

And it's annoying, because people are like "I just want to write my cute dnf thread fics in peace" and I'm like. I'm sorry. We have unfortunately reached a place where that sort of fandom content should not be something people can just stumble upon on twitter. And it's hard, because it requires people to use their discernment and fucking brains to think, how does this look to people outside of the fandom? How am I, just a little stan account, actively hurting Dream and his image? Obviously there is a line and a limit to how much you should censor yourself and how much consideration you should give to bad faith actors. But the issue is, I think many people don't even stop to contemplate where that line is, or why it should exist.

#ren replies #ren rambles

[murdockmeta]

hi, im new here (not to dd just to the tumblr sphere— why does everyone seem to hate zdarsky/checchetto? i really enjoyed the first part of zdarkys run and i adore checchetto’s art + design, so idk what i missed that makes everyone who comicsposts dislike it so much??

hm. this isn't the easiest question to answer. there's a LOT of different reasons as to why people disliked that run.

tbh I'll admit the first 20 or so issues of v6 are kind of okay. not impossible to read. it goes downhill fast after that, tho. very very downhill.

here's this post by @/xycuro-illuminati that does a good job of explaining why so many people disliked the run. here's my post on the ableism in zdarsky's writing. trust me you aren't the first person who's asked this question before

i'll give you a more general answer of my own opinion, tho

zdarsky's writing misses what most consider to be crucial points of Matt and Elektra's characters. with this, he entirely obliterates their characterization and that really pissed a lot of comics fans off.

i would consider volume 6 to be the beginning of the MCU-ification of dd. it is clear that at that point, some higher-ups were pushing for daredevil comics to become more like the show. the show was a MASSIVE hit and they wanted to cash in on that. so, they had the writers start shifting the comics and the characterization around to fit the show better.

this is where the problem lies. it is insulting, honestly, to ignore the past 50 plus years of writing for matt's character to shift it into something that will be more palatable to live actions fans just so marvel can get a good payday.

the most glaringly noticeable part of this is - the catholicism. the live action show makes a big deal out of matt being catholic when this was never really the case in the comics. while matt being religious and catholic are present in matt's background in the comics, it's not even close to being a big part of the character.

one of the main things that makes matt so compelling as a character is his morality, his integrity. he upholds his moral code relentlessly because he believes it is the right thing to do. he believes everyone deserves a second chance no matter what. in zdarsky's run and in the show, matt's reason for upholding his moral code is tied to his religious beliefs.

here's a good post on the origins of catholicism being related to matt's character and how it differs from the show and why it is such an injustice to tie matt's morality to his religion.

it's really really hard to articulate every single thing that's wrong with zdarsky's run while also giving you a thorough explanation.

i could tell you about how zdarsky's original plot was focused around matt's guilt when he accidentally kills someone but... matt's killed people before. he killed someone in his very first issue. ever. he was chasing after the man who was responsible for his father's murder and scared him so badly the man had a heart attack and died.

all of zdarsky's plots and subplots are all things that have been done over and over, he just writes it worse.

i could tell you about how shitty checchetto's art is. he can't draw women. or fat people (foggy fans deserve reparations). toward the end of the run he gets ESPECIALLY sloppy. he whitewashed kirsten and sam.

i could tell you about how zdarsky wrecked elektra's character. he completely ignored her origins and the character development she's had over the course of decades of writing just to slap some random retconned backstory onto her.

theres so. many. things.

i got into the comics through the show. when I started reading the comics I honestly perceived comics matt and show matt as two entirely different characters because they just felt so incredibly separate from one another. it is not that there are zero similarities, but their reasons for WHY they are the way that they are diverge wildly from each other

i dont know how else to put it except to say this. when I read zdarsky's run, I do not feel like I'm reading about Matt Murdock. it doesn't feel like matt, it doesn't feel like daredevil. it feels like an entirely new character that I do not know.

to fully explain to you why i feel that way would take a damn book. i realize that my answer isn't at all comprehensive and some parts are probably confusing but it is impossible to pick a start and end point. that's just not matt. that's it.

#dd #dd comics #daredevil comics #anti chip zdarsky #asks #ren replies #ren rambles #anon asks #nonny asks

[melotuzu]

do you ever think that gira sometimes remembers how his first meeting with jeramie was when jeramie stole his coffin with him still inside and very much alive

#obsessed with characters with the stupidest first meetings #‘and that is how i met your father’ #gira hastie #jeramie brasieri #ohsama sentai kingohger #ren rambles #super sentai

[evermourning]

aw shucks i cut my finger open on accident the doctor said the cure should be a 5’7 dark haired cutie patootie named jisung who can come kiss it better (please)

#ren rambles #evermourning #babe please #come home the kids miss you #GRRRR CAN HE BE UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE PRETTY PLEASE #han skz #han jisung #skz #stray kids