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frost-queen · 1 year

Text

Hanging on tight (Reader x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: @val2557 Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex–awesome–22 @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

Summary: You are Cal's girfriend and have social anxiety. When you go to a social gathering, Cal is there to help out.

Taking a deep breath it wasn’t enough to calm your nerves. Gripping on tight to the seat you sat on. Knees trembling anxiously the more you thought about. Biting your lip, a million disastrous thoughts crossed your mind. You barely noticed BD entering the room you were in. He bleeped loud, startling you. He tilted his head a bit to the side, tripling on his stands. You sighed deep. – “No I’m not that excited BD.” – you told him.

“I’m not sure about this… maybe… maybe I should just sit this one out?” – you suggested, pleading with the droid as if it was his call. There was a knock on the wall outside the room. Cal entering all smiley. He came leaning against the doorway, admiring you for a moment. His lovey dovey eyes making way for worriedness.

He noticed how uncomfortable you were. – “Y/n.” – he said stepping up to you. BD jumped aside when Cal came kneeling in front of you. – “Everything alright?” – he asked placing a caring hand on your trembling knee. With gentle pressure, he stopped it from shaking nervously. There was no lying to him, so you told him the truth.

“I…I…I shouldn’t come… I’m a walking disaster.” – you confessed, looking ashamed away. Cal curled up a warm smile, moving his hand over your knee to you hand, taking it. – “I don’t want you to worry.” – he told you.

“If you don’t feel like coming. I understand. I am not fond of those meetings too, but it is nice to know you are by my side. Yet!” – he concluded holding his finger up. – “That does not mean I am pressuring you. If you want to sit this one out, I am all for it if it makes you feel better.” – you smiled faintly at how caring he was. Always considering your feelings over his own.

You squeezed his hand to reassure him. – “I…I want to be there for you.” – you said, shoulders slouching. – “It is just… I’m afraid I’ll make it worse with my presence alone. I am not the best in conversating with people I don’t know.” – you reminded him even though he didn’t need reminding. – “I know, my star.” – he replied, tugging some hair behind your ear. It made you smile bashfully down. – “If you feel like falling, I’ll be there to hold you. I promise you I’m not letting go.” – he reassured you.

“You won’t be lonely as I’ll hold on tight to you, If you want to go to the restroom, too bad as I am clutched onto you.” – he said making you laugh loud. He always found a way to cheer you up and it worked. – “You’ll get bored of me.” – you teased. Cal looked dramatically shocked. – “Me? Bored of you? How could I when my love for you is so big.” – he opened his arms, making you quirk your brows. He fell forwards, strapping his arms around you.

You laughed loud feeling him tickle your side. Squirming under his grip. – “Cal…Cal stop!” – you called out laughing. He chuckled moving his hands up. He then pressed a deep kiss on your cheek. He helped you up, BD bleeping loud on the ground. – “Right about that BD!” – Cal called out proudly. You furrowed your brows. – “We aren’t letting you deal with this alone!” – he explained making you smile.

Moving your hand to his cheek, you left a kiss on his other cheek. Cal grinned from ear to ear. He took your hand, squeezing it tight. – “I’ll never let go.” – he whispered to you. BD hopped onto his back as he guided you further down the Mantis. Some of your anxiety had left your body which was good. Cere asked silently how things were. Cal winked at her, saying enough. Cere nodded following you to the entrance way of the Mantis.

The three of you got off, greeted by the fresh air. You swallowed nervously, squeezing his hand a bit more. – “I’m right here.” – he whispered to you, kissing you teasingly. Cere took the lead, Cal and you followed. You focused on the exterior to not be confronted with the brooding anxiety in you.

To calm your mind, you started to silently count the trees you spotted. Cal smiled hearing you softly mutter out the numbers. You were alright and that was what mattered. If you were not, he promised himself he’d get you out of there as soon as possible. Not caring what people would think of him or how rude he’d be. You were his priority now and always.

You came to a sudden stop at the entrance. The shadow of the building casted down on you. Slowly feeling the building stretch out while you grew smaller and smaller. Heart thumping louder against your chest. Cal brought your entangled hand up, whispering close to you. – “We can still run away if you like? I’ve heard there are many places to sneak off to.” – You slowly shook your head, knowing how important this was for Jedi’s all around the galaxy.

This was bigger than you. – “I follow you everywhere.” – you told him. Cal moved his shoulder up, a signal for BD to hop on your back. The reassurance of the droid close by made you ease a bit up. – “Don’t worry, BD will sting everyone who comes too close for your standards.” – he chuckled out. You nudged him for his glamorous humor.

Taking a deep breath, the two of you walked inside. Cere was waiting in the main hall, smiling at your presence. The moment you entered the room, your body stiffened. There were a lot more people then you anticipated. Cal noticed it, turning you away from them. Tilting your chin up by his thumb. – “Focus on me, only on me. We’ll stay right here and let those who want to come to us. No need to wander around and chat. We’ll stay right here.”

Flashed with love, you kissed him deeply on the lips. Arms wrapped around him. It surprised him for a moment as you practically jumped at him. He smiled against your lips before kissing you back. – “I love you Cal.” – you told him. – “I love you more Y/n.” – he replied, pressing your hand against his chest.

Cal distracted you by telling you vigorous wild stories, using his whole body to showcase it. It made you laugh, slowly easing up and forgetting about the people in the room with you. When someone would come to meet you because Cere brought them to Cal and you, he held your hand close.

Making sure you didn’t need to talk if you didn’t feel like it. Drawing the attention deliberately to him so they wouldn’t make you nervous. It made you feel so loved, you let your head lean against his shoulder, blessed to have such a caring Jedi boyfriend.

--------------------------------

Other questions were about:

How they choose what they wear. Ash and Luke said they try bot to clash with the others and look ridiculous. They basically go by what Cal chooses, becauee Michael goes by him, and then the rest tries not to clash with them. Look also mentioned whatever he can paid up that he didn't do previously, and how he feels that day.

They asked about the Flatline chorus and Luke did listen to the song on his phone to figure it out... but I'm still not sure as they were also unsure lol.

They asked about the RAH orchestra and how it was a bit hard working with them because they only stayed until their time was up, and they are speaking different musical languages.

And lastly they asked about how they feel when they release a really emotional, personal song and if it's hard to do. They said of course, and how everyone has their own interpretation on songs, and sometimes it's best not to know the original thought and have your own on them.

There was also a fly trying to get into Luke's tea and Ashton kinda looked scared of it because he stood up.and took two steps backwards.

Both Charlotte Sands and AR/CO were amazing.

I was on Michael's side, 2nd row.

Ashton was wearing those silly ass chekered sunglasses for like half the show lol. But he has the biggest biceps in the world oh god.

They were cuteeeee. Michael was so precious. So happy.

We got Wrapped Around Your Finger.

They guys enjoyed Budapest, and said it was a special show because it'a in the last 3 for a long time now.

Also, there was a point where Ash said something about Calum abd I was like... boyfriends.

Michael couldn't sing Best Friends because Luke was being silly and they just started histerically laughing.

Michael remembered and made a joke about last year's KFC thing and someone had a fake/plush KFC bucket hat on and they were making fun of that.

He ended up wearing it for the beginning of Outer Space.

(Terrible photo, sorry. Didn't take much pics.)

Saw Ash at the very end on my side and he is beautiful and smiley. I love him. 🩷🫶

Tagging some peeps for story time: @kindahoping4forever @nostalgiabones @whentherosesbl00m @suchalonelysunflower

#5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #angie x 5sos #the 5sos show budapest

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indigostreaking · 1 year

Text

Wicked Woman

Oliver Reed!Danny x fem!reader

A/N: This is mostly for me, as a certified slut for Oliver Reed who lives in Danny’s lane, but I really hope you enjoy it, too! 🤭

Minors, please please please do not interact. 18+

Warnings: oral(f&m receiving), fingering, alcohol, degradation(if you squint), praise, fake accents, daddy kink, pussy spanking, cockwarming for a second, choking, unprotected sex, teensy bit of spit, and probably more 🤷🏼‍♀️

Word count: ~3k

"Wanna see something cool we've been working on?" Danny asked excitedly as you climbed in the passenger seat of his car. You expected new music or a photo shoot, but when he passed you his phone, you were greeted with a video of Danny decked out in his golf gear sporting a cocky smirk.

"Chip Bunker? What is this?" You giggled as you asked, glancing back at him momentarily to see him raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Just watch it," he laughed with you and looked back to the road before adding, "scroll to the right for the other three.." You tapped the screen so the clip began to play.

"Golf is the essence.." Chip began, and you fought the urge to poke fun, because Danny—Chip looked really really good in his colorful striped polo and Michigan visor. You always loved when he pulled his hair up, too. You watched intently as the short video ended before scrolling to the next one. You laughed at Dr JMK and rolled your eyes at Cal A Bungah, but you couldn't help but smile as you watched Oliver Reed. With the sex and swagger practically dripping off of him as he spoke in a terrible British accent, you were entranced. He had on tight green pants, brown loafers that matched his vest, and a light blue button up shirt, but the icing on the Oliver cake was the long fake beard and expensive looking sunglasses and necklace. You gasped near the end when he ripped open his shirt, and you felt heat rush to your cheeks.

"What's got you all smiley?" Danny asked as he pulled in to the parking spot of the movie theater for date night. You had been so lost in the videos that you hadn't even realized you'd arrived.

"Nothing," you lied, trying to recover some dignity. You had never thought of Jake like that, but that was certainly not Jake..

"Oliver's got you all hot and bothered, huh?" He teased with a smirk. Your cheeks flushed again and you hated yourself for it. He gasped and placed his hand over his heart feigning offense. "No love for Chip?"

"Chip was perfect, babe! And I love him and you so much," you leaned in and kissed his pouty lips. "Let's head in so we have time for concessions." He nodded, but you could tell he was deep in thought..

***

After getting dressed in a cute, white sundress, you texted Danny to let him know you were on your way per his request. He had been very cryptic when he asked you to come over, but that wasn't totally out of the ordinary for him. He was always full of fun little surprises, but for some reason you just couldn't quite fight the sense of anxious excitement you felt when you knocked on the front door of his house.

"Just a second, love," a familiar voice called out in an unfamiliar accent. You cocked your head sideways, trying to make sense of it. Danny opened the door wearing a pair of tight green pants, a light blue button up shirt, a pair of brown loafers and a matching brown vest. Your heart skipped a beat at the realization. "Come on, darling, can't have you standing out 'ere making the neighbors jealous," he held the door open wide and flashed you a lazy smirk. You followed him inside and watched as he shut the door. That's when you noticed the fake beard and bubbled with laughter.

"Danny, what are you—" you began as you shook your head in disbelief.

"Danny's not here. Name's Reed...Oliver Reed," he winked and arched a brow.

You bit back a smile, but it eventually erupted out of you in a cackle that you tried your best to stifle. "Oliver, I—are you—" you tried to ask, but you couldn't stop giggling. He somehow managed to keep a straight face, and you felt so bad for laughing when he's clearly trying so hard.

He stepped towards you, closing the distance as he took your face in his large hand, squeezing your cheeks together and making your lips push out in a pout. "Be a good girl for me and go grab the bottle of whiskey? None of that cheap shit that Danny drinks, either..." he looked down at you as he spoke then released your face. You swallowed hard. Your sweet Daniel never really took on this role of being so rough and almost condescending. He was usually so gentle, empathetic, and careful with you, but this-this was different. Ever so obediently, you walked into the kitchen, only to return to an empty living room.

"Danny?" You called out cautiously as you wandered down the hallway towards his bedroom.

"Uh uh, your beloved Daniel is away for the moment...otherwise occupied, if you will," Oliver crooned from his spot perched on the edge of the bed. "Fuck this shit," he mumbled to himself as he pulled the beard off his face after fussing with the hairs sticking to his lips. "Keep up, won't you, love?" He eyed the floor in front of him, silently motioning for you to take your spot. Your heart was racing at his newfound swagger, and you could already feel your panties getting wetter and wetter by the second. You handed him the bottle of whiskey and knelt before him. "Look at you, such a pretty girl, aren't you?" He purred, tilting your chin up with his forefinger as he looked down his perfect nose at you. Without letting you go, he turned up the bottle with his other hand, taking a big swig. His pronounced adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed with an exaggerated sigh. "Need a drink before you suck my cock?" He asked plainly, as if he was doing you a favor.

In that moment, you decided to make a show of it. If he was committed to this bit, you would play your role as well. You widened your eyes and fluttered your lashes. "Yes, please, daddy," you said breathily, holding eye contact with him as you bit your lower lip. You had never called him that before, and you weren't sure how he'd react..but judging by the way his breath hitched and the corner of his mouth curled up in amusement, it was safe to assume he liked it.

"Open," he commanded calmly. Your mouth fell open instantly and you held eye contact with him as he tilted the bottle, pouring the honey colored liquor into your mouth. It overflowed, dribbling down your chin and onto your chest, and he smirked as it soaked through your dress exposing your stiffening nipples. You tried not to choke as you gulped down what you could, still keeping your eyes on his. The lust and hunger in his eyes darkened the usual chocolatey brown to an almost ravenous black. He sat the bottle on the night stand and took your chin in his hand, craning your head to the side as he licked a stripe from your collarbone up to your jaw. A quiet moan escaped your throat, quickly followed by a content, low hum of approval from him. He leaned back, unbuttoning his pants with one hand and letting his cock spring free. You licked your lips and impatiently reached for it before he dodged your touch. "Aren't you going to ask daddy nicely? Liked hearing you say please so pretty before.." His voice dropped an octave at his new title and you held your breath. Fuck.

"Please," you whined, making sure to flutter your lashes up at him.

"Please what, love? Use your words," the terrible accent still made everything more sultry somehow. You licked your lips before trying again.

"Please let me suck your cock...daddy," you were proud of yourself for remembering to address him properly, and a smile played at the corner of your lips because of it.

"Ah, there she is. There's my naughty girl," he looked just as pleased as he slowly stroked his cock and eyed you hungrily. He tilted the tip towards your mouth, and you lapped at it eagerly. Another hum of approval rumbled through his chest. He tangled a hand in your hair, loosely gripping it every time you took him deeper. His hips bucked up into you as you worked him. Your nose nuzzled against his happy trail as you fought your gag reflex, letting tears pool in the corner of your eyes. "Fuck," he moaned, as you pulled away only to repeat the same motion. He gently tugged on your hair, making you look up at him as your head bobbed. "Gonna fuck your pretty mouth now, and you're gonna take it..aren't you, darling?" He asked and for the briefest of moments, you saw a flicker of Danny finding a way to check in with you. You swallowed and he groaned in pleasure. You did your best to give your permission, but a muffled yes would have to suffice.

As he stood, you rocked back to accommodate the shift. He gripped the hair at the base of your neck and held your head in place as he thrusted forward, grazing the back of your throat. You held your composure through his slow, steady movements. He picked up his pace, pulling you into him as you gagged around him. He moaned as he watched the drool dribble down your chin and you held your eyes on his. "Are you this sweet to your Daniel? Do you choke on his cock like this, too?" His voice dangerously low and raspy as he pulled from your mouth, waiting for your response.

"I think he's too scared he'll hurt me, but I'm tougher than I look," you smirked up at him as you wiped the drool from your chin against your forearm.

"Oh really?" his eyes widened as you nodded, and he abruptly yanked you up, pulling you to your feet as his hand trailed down to the swell of your left ass cheek. You giggled as he lifted the bottom of your dress, caressing the bare skin he found beneath. "You want Daniel to use a firmer hand? Perhaps rough you up a little? Like this.." he whispered, swatting at your ass, leaving a sting of pain and a red hand-shaped mark.

You hissed before replying, "Mmm..yes, thank you, daddy," and fluttering your lashes, which elicited a low rumble of a moan from him.

"You are evil," he grinned before motioning towards the headboard with his chin, instructing you silently. You obliged, making a show of wiggling your ass as you climbed up the length of the bed. "Positively wicked," he purred as he watched you, taking note of the thin fabric of your thong when the ruffled hem of your dress allowed brief peeks. You plopped down on the heap of pillows, rolling to lie on your back instead. The sight of him nearly knocked the wind from your lungs. He had taken the opportunity to undress entirely, leaving a medallion dangling from a silver chain at his neck as he crawled up towards you with his cock bobbing with his movement.

He kissed a line up your inner knee to your thigh, reaching up flipping the skirt of your dress up and out of the way. "Take this off for me, yeah?" He murmured against the soft skin of your thigh, glancing up to watch you lift your dress over your head. Your moved to take off your panties, but he caught your wrists with a sharp hiss. "Uh uh," he scolded gently. You watched as he caught the waistband of your thong between his teeth, slowly working it down until it reached your thighs. His hot breath had you arching your back as the sensation traveled down your legs until you were freed from the lace.

You sucked your lower lip between your teeth as he kissed and nipped his way up your thigh towards your core. When his tongue found your throbbing clit, you nearly jumped. He chuckled to himself at your behavior, then continued by sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth, flicking his tongue across it as he worked. You gripped the sheets to the point that your knuckles turned white and you held your breath. “Let me hear you lovely moans, sweet girl,” he crooned from between your thighs as he swiped his index and middle finger through the wetness accumulating. He teased your entrance, pushing his fingers in only to pull them away over and over until you couldn’t take it.

“Please fuck me, Danny,” you let out a frustrated whine, tangling your fingers in his hair and trying to use it to pull him up to kiss you instead. He lifted his face, shoved his fingers in deep, curling them up to caress the perfect spot inside you, and delivered a swift pop of his other hand to your clit. You gasped and bucked your hips, but were unable to get away. His devious smile lit up while he watched you squirm, still curling and uncurling his fingers as he used them to fuck you. He delved back in, lapping at your core and causing the fire in your tummy to build. “Oliver, please,” you corrected yourself breathlessly, knowing where you had gone wrong and desperately needing more. His face lifted again so he could watch you wince as he delivered another slap to your clit. This time you whimpered and cried out, “daddy!” He growled in approval and resumed devouring you. His rhythm never faltered as he drug you over the edge. Your moans filled the room as you came undone, and he growled in approval, rutting himself against the bed as he worked you through it.

Your hips bucked involuntarily as he started overstimulating you, and he landed another swat to your clit causing you to whimper, “What was that for?”

He smirked up at you, and replied, “Just like feeling how tight your pretty pink pussy clenches around my fingers.” You panted beneath him as he crawled up your body. He spit on your core before lining himself up and thrusting in painfully slowly. He let his head fall forward, smiling as he felt you stretch around him. “Fuck,” he mumbled, just a quick glimpse at your Danny before he regained his Oliver persona. He captured your nipple with his mouth, circling it with his tongue as he sucked before repeating the same to the other. You tilted your hips back and forth trying to create some movement, causing his tip to rub against your favorite spot. He let go of your nipple with a pop and smiled down at you. “Afraid Oliver won’t give you what you need, hmm?” He asked in an almost condescending tone, but you didn’t care. You needed more.

“I just want you to come, too,” you whined, trying to flatter him into fucking you how you wanted.

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “No,” he sounded stern now as he took your face in his hand, tilting your head to the side so he could whisper, “You just have a greedy little cunt,” directly into your ear. You swallowed hard, and his hand slid down to grip your throat. He hesitated, searching your eyes for any sign of unease. Daniel once again checking in ever so subtly. You nodded, giving him the permission he was seeking. He squeezed gently at first as he began fucking you, picking up speed and squeezing a bit harder to match. Your eyes rolled back as he pushed you towards the edge again. He’d loosen his grip to let you catch your breath, but his thrusts never slowed. You opened your eyes to see him looking down at where your bodies met, watching as he slid in and out of your core with his tongue out in concentration and his brows furrowed. You let the building pleasure wash over you, coming undone once more as he watched. His pace stuttered and he thrusted forward as deep as he could, filling you as a stream of obscenities flowed from his perfect pink lips. He held his position, panting as he came back down, finally looking at you with flushed cheeks, a sheen of sweat across his forehead, and a fucked out smile that made your whole body warm.

“Hey,” you whispered, acknowledging the return of Danny. His smile widened as he unsheathed and laid down beside you, nuzzling closer with his face in the crook of your neck.

“Hey..was that okay?” he asked nervously, dropping the accent, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“It was perfect,” you replied as you turned to kiss his forehead and tuck his sweaty curls behind his ear. “Thank you,” you murmured into the gentle kiss, knowing he had done this for you. “Wanna shower together?” You asked hopefully.

He popped up to his feet more enthusiastically than you expected, which made you laugh. “You know I love that idea,” he flashed you a crooked grin and crinkled his nose. It’s true, though. He jumped on the opportunity to shower with you any chance he got, and you loved it. “Maybe you and Oliver can hang out more often,” he smirked as he pulled you to your feet.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, walking past him towards the bathroom. “Maybe Oliver should remember his cane next time..” you replied casually. Danny charged towards you, scooping you up in his arms with a rumble of laughter.

“Wicked woman,” he purred into your ear in his Oliver accent as he kicked the bathroom door shut behind you.

#greta van fleet #danny wagner #oliver fucking reed #greta van smut #gvf fanfiction #gvf smut #daddy danny wagner

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wiiildflowerrr · 8 months

Text

@Calum5SOS: 'Give me your best awkward smile'

22 August 2015

#smiley!cal #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #calum 5sos #calum #2015 #22 august

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maela-the-menace · 4 months

Text

Pspspspspsps shorts wars fans come get ur food

Post

@Datchia

Sooo guess who just hacked Danno’s phone! Honestly it was ridiculously easy, he didn’t even have a security system active. C’mon dude, you have a YouTube channel. But that’s not the main reason I’m here. My investigation continues! It’s… got more evidence… here, this is a snippet of a convo I saw between him and Riggy.

[screenshot start]

Sewer Rat: Why did you send that to Cdot?

Danno: because it’s funny, obviously

Sewer rat: yea I know but why a console and a finger??? Where did you even get the finger!

Danno: the console has a pikmin game downloaded onto it, and you don’t need to know where I got the finger.

Sewer Rat: alr. The blood wasn’t yours though right?

Danno: no don’t worry

Sewer rat: alr good

[screenshot end]

My guys did you see that? Danno sent what to cdot?? What???

#wtf #Danno cal drawings #Riggy the Runky #excuse me but what the fuck #where did he get the finger #where did he get the blood #I really hope he doesn’t see this

(7,428 notes)

Comments

@Fucker-of-mothers

There's no way this is real

@hotdog-cop

Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if this was real. Riggy is a horrible influence

@EntWithAHoodie

Dude if Danno has tumblr you’re probably fucked.

Reblog

@Datchia

Here’s a follow up with the Cdot situation…

[Screenshot start]

Pikmin Bro: DUDE WTF

Danno: what?

Pikmin Bro: YOU SENT ME A FINGER! AND A BLOOD COVERED CONSOLE!

Danno: The console has Pikmin downloaded onto it! :)

Pikmin Bro: BUT WHY THE FINGER???

Danno: Just because.

Pikmin Bro: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE FINGER? OR THE BLOOD?

Danno: Secret

Pikmin Bro: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SECRET?

[Screenshot end]

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

So. It turns out that Danno isn’t the only criminal of the group. I uh… oops?

[Screenshot start]

Danno: Pear

Danno: Dude

Danno: Where are you

Gun Giver: Dawg what

Gun Giver: I was with Melon

Danno: I need weapons.

Gun Giver: Dawg I just gave you a shipment

Danno: That was today?

Gun Giver: I’m not gonna respond anymore.

[Screenshot end]

So yeah. Pear is apparently a weapons dealer.

RoyalPear #Danno cal drawings #RoyalMelon #I think #i’m scared

(7,539 notes)

Comments

@fruity-felon

What were Pear and Melon doing tho 🧐🧐🧐

@WenchOfTime

@fruity-felon I don’t think that’s what you’re supposed to me focusing on here

@BungoBob

What did I just discover here???

@Time-For-Soup

@WenchOfTime but seriously what were they doing tho???

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

I’M SCARED I’M TERRIFIED I’M MORTIFIED I’M SCREAMING-

[Screenshot start]

Unknown Number: Hello? You’re Danno right?

Danno: Yes??? Who is this?

Unknown Number: Melon.

Danno: Oh ok

[Unknown Number changed to Materwelon]

Materwelon: Hey fuck you for that

Danno: ?

[Materwelon changed to The Melon Man]

Danno: WHAT.

The Melon Man: I taught myself how to code! And hack. It’s really fun!

Danno: I’m scared

The Melon Man: You should be :)

[Screenshot end]

That smiley face will haunt me forever and I think he’s about to start hunting me down.

#RoyalMelon #Danno cal drawings #I live in fear

(8,473 notes)

Comments

@OrbleTheGreat

Datchia I recommend RUNNING.

@Man-Of-Cheeseballs

Drop off the face of the internet and I think you’ll probably be fine… maybe… probably…

@Jiblits-vorp

I really doubt this is real but please make more

~~~~~~~~

Post

@Datchia

I don’t know how Danno hasn’t noticed this yet considering how many people have seen it, but it’s probably a good thing. I’ll keep going until I’m noticed by someone relevant to the situation… here’s more. A lot more.

[screenshots start]

Danno: Pear your boyfriend is scaring me

Gun Giver: Danno Melon is not my boyfriend.

Danno: I never mentioned it was Melon though

Gun Giver: Dawg, you act like I wasn’t the one to give him your contact

Danno: But I still could’ve been referring to someone else

Gun Giver: Dawg Melon is fucking terrifying

Gun Giver: Also he told me about hacking your phone earlier

Gun Giver: He said that, and I quote, “anyone with a sliver of coding knowledge could hack into it if they tried.” He thinks you need a better security system

Danno: nahh it’ll be fine

—————

Danno: Hey Jonny you’re interested in code right?

Kirby man: Uhhhh yea I guess?

Danno: Talk to Melon about it

Kirby man: Out of all the things you’ve said to me, why is that the most ominous?

Danno: I could send you one of the packages to be more ominous

Kirby man: Ok nevermind that’s the most ominous thing you’ve ever said to me…

Danno: Ok I’ll just send another to Cdot

Kirby man: What in the fuck are you sending to Cdot?

Danno: :)

Kirby man: I’m scared

—————

Pikmin Bro: WHERE DID YOU GET A DEAD BLOODY RAT AND WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU SEND IT TO ME.

Danno: Riggy gave it to me

Pikmin Bro: Please don’t send more blood-covered objects

Danno: I will continue sending you blood covered objects

Pikmin Bro: Seriously don’t I don’t need bloodstains on my carpet

Danno: If it gets stained I’ll help you clean it up!

Pikmin Bro: The fact that you’re confident you can clean up a bloodstain is scary. One time I cut my finger cutting vegetables and the blood got on my couch. It’s still there and I’ve tried everything…

Danno: You just don’t know the process yet

Pikmin Bro: What the hell is “the process”

Danno: The process of cleaning blood.

Pikmin Bro: …

Pikmin Bro: I think it’s time to end this conversation.

—————

Kirby Man: YOU GOT ME WRAPPED UP IN A GANG.

Danno: Wait Pear didn’t tell you about it???

Kirby Man: YOU KNEW?

Kirby Man: Is that why Pear was always dealing with “stuff?”

Danno: Oh definitely.

Kirby Man: Why didn’t you tell me though?

Danno: I thought you knew!

Kirby Man: Please don’t tell me you’re also doing something illegal…

Danno: …

Kirby Man: Danno what did you do.

Kirby Man: Danno. What did you do.

Danno: Murder!

Kirby Man: WHAT THE FUCK.

[screenshots end]

Y'know I feel like Melon’s comment about hacking Danno’s phone might be directed at me but I might be going crazy from this

#Danno cal drawings #Jonny razer #Cdot #RoyalPear #RoyalMelon

(8,583 notes)

Comments

@Fruity-felon

Hmmmmmmmmm Danno implied Pear and Melon are dating? Are they? Possibly?

@Greatergingivitis

Holy shit

@Jabe-mota

Sooooooo Melon definitely knows about you right?

Some stuff is supposed to be bolded and italicized and some stuff is supposed to be a smaller font but it got lost through the Googledocs-to-Tumblr journey and I’m too lazy to fix all this sooooooooooo deal with it lol

#danno cal drawings #riggy the rabbit monkey #riggy the runkey #royalmelon #royalpear #cdot #jonny razer #tumblr formatting #random tumblr users #if you actually have any of these usernames than oops lol #also some fruitsalad #just a few crumbs #specifically for Aki lol #also because i ship it too #hehe

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