#so now we're buddies. shes cool as hell

[pokemonleagueofficial]

reblog this post if you love ghost types or support intersex people. ppl will never know which

#tross talks #so that tall butch cane back for rika again today and we got to talking and shes intersex and i was like woah #same girl #so now we're buddies. shes cool as hell

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

#Hermitcraft #hermit catchphrases #hermitcraft catchphrases #hermit quotes #hermitcraft quotes #This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date #if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!

[weebsinstash]

*strums guitar* you know who would be a total piece of shit, to be stuck up in Heaven fuckin FOREVER with

This douchebag! Gotta get some Adam content out before the finale drops and then I'm sure I'll be back for more then too!

I was listening to "You Didn't Know" again and I HATE this man, and because I hate him and he's an asshole, I can then see his wretched character doing shitty and debauched things

Which then means he's conceptually fuckable and we must discuss

I was sitting and thinking about. Ok in the most dramatic fucking way possible can you imagine being in the courtroom with Charlie as a Sinner Representative because you're dope like that, and Adam just starts fucking beefing with you on sight and you give it right back to him because HOMIE BASICALLY INVENTED MISOGYNY, you're standing in HEAVEN while an ANGEL looks you dead in the eye and calls you a CUNT like I wouldn't fucking tolerate it I'd be screaming at him like a feral beast, "why don't you look at your FEMALE BOSS and say that again, you dickless loser?!"

But can you imagine just having this insane BEEF, you guys are having MUSICAL DIAGETIC SINGING BEEF, and then, like. Either there in court or later on in the plot, hey, everything is good now, Sinners/you can ascend or we can go from heaven and hell and visit our families and everything is good now, yaaay! Or your name was mispelled on a form and it's like oh shit you were supposed to be in Heaven all along our bad and ONLY you are cool to "go upstairs"

And you can't even be happy about it because it's literally "oh cool I DO belong in Heaven!">wait but my friends are in Hell > oh fuck THAT ANGEL THAT HATES ME IS HERE, and sure enough he's standing there at the pearly gates to personally welcome you into Heaven, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, making it EXTREMELY CLEAR that he's basically gonna be stalking you because he wants to personally witness you fuck up and get sent back to Hell where he can kill you himself

Homie is back at base posting photos of you all over the walls like an insane person, "look at this tricky fucking bitch, fucking scheming, fucking planning something, fucking bitch" and even Lute is standing there, ".... that's a photo of them eating a sandwich, sir" and she's like TRYING to see where he's coming from but these are photos of you like SLEEPING and the suspicion that you might act out becomes an excuse to stalk you as he gets progressively more unhinged and perverted and frustrated (in more ways than one)

Let's also just discuss some baseline ideas! Abso fucking lutely do I see him as some, frat boy piece of shit who is always at least vaguely hostile to women so we're discussing female Reader specific ideas. Like imagine he's trying to actually be friendly and be cool with you or maybe you guys even hang out on good terms or whatever, maybe you both play guitar and he likes how you can shred it, and, he's the kinda guy to invite you to hang out and not specify other people are gonna be there so you get there and he's with his buddies and they're all talking about, gross shit like the size of the tits on the girl they last fucked, "oh hey did you sleep with Stacey" "fuck yeah I slept with Stacey you know that slut takes anyone", like, Adam deadass expects you to stand next to him with your red solo cup as they all talk about "the massive cow tits on that bitch" and if you even mildly imply this isn't entertaining "you're just bein a prude babe!"

Like Adam has no self awareness, he'll be saying horrid shit about women and then one of his buddies makes the most MILD of comments about you, "yeah your friend is kinda fuckable" and Adam is like in a RAGE, "hey man, that's not fucking cool! Let's go, outside NOW, fuckin step up, bro!" and he's brawling dudes for shit he's said about their conquests PLENTY of times

Just picturing the idea of like idk Saint Peter or even Emily flying around and they see you sitting on a bench outside far far away from where other people are and they fly down to greet you with the biggest smile, "hiya, how are you?" and you um look at them with such a genuinely dead, depressed, empty expression that they like cannot even fathom it. You're??? Unhappy??? In HEAVEN??? they cannot even comprehend it.

The real kicker is if you started to CRY and look this angel or seraph directly in the eyes as you ask, "can i... go back to Hell? I'm allowed to leave, right?" and THAT'S what raises massive red flags and sends that angel straight to their fucking boss. Sera would be over here, "oh she's having problems with Adam oh that's unfortunate but they'll sort them out -- WAIT WHAT DO YOU M E A N SHE WANTS TO LEAVE????" And,, oh, NOW they suddenly care about how happy you are, NOW they're suddenly willing to help maybe mildly keep Adam away from you. Because why? Because now you're potentially going to damage Heaven's perfect track record, and, geez they can't have you running around DEPRESSED, with your face looking all... ICKY and SAD! What if you made the other darlin-- I mean other residents of heaven sad and they maybe wanted to leave their precious angel protectors too? Huh? Ever think of that?

I love how I was sitting over here "what if like the entire Spider Society was yandere for the Reader" and ever since then my brain is like a puppy chasing treats, "what if I made this entire community mentally unhinged"

Also. Carmilla Carmine and her family + Zestial protecting Reader from Adam or any other angels because 👏 we can have as many mommies or daddies or fake family members as we want down here and that's the facts on that 👏

#hh #yandere hellaverse #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #sinprompts

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

#re:zero #very excited even the things that i was the most unexcited abt and made me wary to watch have been fixed a bit yippeeee

[gaylordscooter]

Log of the Multiverse: Cross and XChara

Cross and XChara (usually referred to as just "Chara") both hail from Xtale, an au that's fallen into ruin ever since the creator, XGaster, was contained.

I was shocked to find out that the creator was one of the characters in their universe, but Ink told me he was a false creator, as he was merely a puppet to the true creator that lies beyond our realm and comprehension. It's like how a meta character in a piece of fiction can be written to act "aware", but it's still being written by somebody. Ain't that weird?

Don't think about that for too long.

So Xtale was kinda an empty void after XGaster was taken care of—that's the fault of Cross who killed like, all of his friends (but xpapyrus was the one who killed basically everyone else. GEEZ i couldn't imagine my brother killing a fly! hurting a fly definitely. but killing?? yeesh) and then absorbed xfrisk's soul because he thought he'd be able to OVERWRITE (<- a mechanic their world has where you can basically do whatever the hell you want, or something) his world turned out he couldn't do that sooo.

yeah he was NOT happy about losing his world (and somewhat playing a part in its downfall)

and also xchara's linked to frisk's soul for some reason. so he kinda just had xchara haunting him for awhile.

Luckily! Ink, Dream and I were able to help Cross cope through his loss!

It took so much time. like so much.

He eventually came to accept his world would never come back, but he got an idea. Since his universe couldn't be repaired to what it was before, why not create something new? Of course he couldn't create new people but after learning there were more people that have lost their homes like him (and me) he thought: why not make this place a safe haven for people like him?

Ink encouraged him. He was Very enthusiastic about it actually, he even helped with decorating the place (as in he painted every building. and all the scenery).

Of course, Cross isn't like Dream and Ink, who can sense negativity or when someone's world is destroyed, so those two tend to give him a heads up on where to go (or they just drop people off themselves)

At first we've just been calling it "Xtale" but obviously the place has changed drastically so we decided to call it something else.

unfortunately somehow all of us (even the ARTIST) weren't able to come up with that creative of a name and settled for calling it "the hub"

Now, I didn't forget about XChara, they were getting tired of having to haunt Cross all the time, so I decided to take up a little project.

And by me, I mean I asked Alphys (from a post-pacifist undertale au, we're buddies. yes i'm allowed to be friends with her because they're no longer following the game's script) to help me make a robot body. i made a prototype that ended up being completely non-functional. so alphys kindly made a complete one that WAS functional for me. even though i insisted she didn't need to do that but she said she enjoyed doing it and that i would've popped blood vessels i didn't have if i kept trying to make one (she's right. i was never that big of an engineer)

so the hard part was separating cross and chara. except it WASNT because their souls are WEIRD and i literally just wrenched their pieces apart like lego pieces it was crazy. unfortunately they still only have half of each of their souls. but hey, they can live just fine like that! they're just not as strong as they would be.

well, mainly in cross's case. chara has a cool robot body now that's loaded with defense.

So anyway, yeah! That's about it.

Pretty happy outcome for these guys, despite all the hardships of course.

But I heard from Ink, in this other multiverse this thing called the "X-Event" occurs. It sounded pretty rough from what I remember. But fortunately our Ink isn't like the one in that multiverse! He's too much of a softy

#blue's (totally not diary) log

[adracat]

GWitch 23 thoughts

Sorry for the wait on this, I had to rewatch a few times to really drink in everything that was going on. I didn't have the best knee-jerk reaction initially ( I enjoyed it ofc but was a bit ambivalent about some things) and wanted to give it a fair shake.

First up, seeing Suletta zip around like the ace pilot she is was quite rewarding and fun! Now all those auto-pilot rumors can be laid to rest. However, the circumstances weren't the best and it broke my heart she was gasping for air the entire time. I had no doubt she'd live but it's still miserable to witness that

Ah Lauda. Your tomfoolery knows no bounds. We knew this was coming after the last ep, but it's still a bit frustrating. On a technical narrative level, it works since we're seeing two sets of siblings confront their simmering tension with one another. On a personal level, I wasn't very amused. I first saw this at 4 in the morning and had no patience for Lauda lmao. But rewatching it a few times gave me a deeper appreciation for what's going on. He's really intent on scapegoating Mio for everything wrong in his life. Fitting for her role as the Rose Bride and Lauda's demonized witch

This little aside from Chuchu is so suspicious tbh. Considering Mio's failure at piloting, this seems to imply either she does not have a permet implant of any sort or a flat intolerance. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll become a factor in the next episode.

Mio staring wistfully at Cool-san/etc memento of Suletta will always grab me by the throat. Girl wants to wife up Suletta so bad. And really, who could blame her?

Schwarzette is so pretty and cool. Unfairly so. Like, why did you make that thing so unique and cool? For dipstick Lauda?? Who is that pink permet for and why does it look like Utena??? ANSWER ME OKOUCHI

That's nice of Delling to rise from his sickbed to try and negotiate with the SAL. Unfortunately, this would be for naught because they're here to purge and replace. Not make nice. It was the thought that counts, I suppose.

Speaking of, the debut of a solar ray blindsided me. I mean, yeah it's Gundam, but I kinda thought we were skipping the big death ray lmao. After sitting on it, I think I know where it's headed. Totally on brand for SAL too in hindsight. They like to act removed, but they're just as entrenched as Benerit in the skeevy corpo politics. Allying with Ochs and now Peil cements it

Check the link above to see my Utena related thoughts on this moment btw. It might be the highlight of the episode beyond the Prospera confrontation. Stunned they finally stopped playing coy and seemingly confirm Notrette is indeed a GUND entity residing in pseudo hell, and likely a GWitch newtype like Eri

This was very sweet and I enjoy it more on a rewatch but I also understand why I and so many people had a gut-deep aversion to this subplot. The issue is entirely investment based imo, and tbh I just don't care that much about the Jeturk family dynamics. At best, I don't mind them. Guel is a bro but Lauda is SO exhausting on multiple levels. His misogyny and gross negligence of Petra in favor of revenge doesn't help.

If something came of this other than Lauda/Guel sibling closure, I'd consider it fulfilling. But if you lack investment in the conflict, it's going to feel limp or frustrating in comparison to the siblings you want to see. So while I appreciate the parallel with Suletta/Eri and the continuing subtext of witch coded Mio, that's it for me. But hey, it serves a purpose. A tragic cycle was broken after all, thanks to love and MVP Felsi!

The one big gripe I have after consideration is this man's continued existence. Kenanji doesn't deserve to play buddy buddy with the cast. He's a dirty space cop who bullies children and murdered Nadim, now he's joking with 5lan? The hell. I get the theme of the show is forgiveness and not perpetuating the cycle of revenge but... really? KENANJI gets to be happy but Norea/Sophie don't? Sigh

It was so dirty of Eri to use Suletta's love for Mio against her. She knows Suletta would panic over their mother possibly 'gaining two'. It's crafty and unrepentant, but Suletta holds fast. Her faith in Mio is greater than her idle fears

Mio scolding Prospera over her favoritism was great. We love a fiancé willing to take a stand against her shit in-laws. Speaking of, looks like Mio has fully embraced becoming a Mercury one day. 'All of us will be family' YEAH YOU WILL so suck it up Prospera. The holidays are gonna be so awkward

Btw love Mio was shouting at her while having an emotional breakthrough deciphering her mother's QZ riddle. This moment was excellent and easily superceded my minor gripes. UGH when will you reveal Notrette's whole deal GWitch? We're waiting

Such a bittersweet moment. We know from the Blessing and Cradle Planet that Eri loves her sister but it may not have been until this moment that Suletta understands her feelings. Now, I don't think she's 'dead' tbh. Or deader anyway. I suspect it's a false flag to hook you until the finale. It would be quite anti-climactic if she passed without a proper goodbye. I'm still holding out on a Tempest end where Prospera voluntarily sets her free.

The next Sunday will be our last. Hard to believe tbh. Feels like just yesterday we set out on this spectacular journey. Que sera sera! I'll see y'all in the finale~

#Wish Eri had the endcard tbh but oh well #maybe they're saving it for the end #g witch #g witch spoilers #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #gundam witch from mercury #sulemio #prospera mercury #ericht samaya #guel jeturk #lauda neill #g witch episode 23

[phantomdoofer]

Eat Me

Noise stretched as his alarm went off. Ah, can't wait for the day I don't have to use one a those! He laughed. That could be now, ya palooka. NTV was doing great - he could probably retire and live off royalties the rest of his life. But I just can't give up the spotlight! He leapt out of bed and struck a pose, grinning hugely.

Silence. Dead silence. Normally Noisette at least says something when I do that. He looked over. She wasn't there. "Huh. Sette? Babe? You there?" Nothing. Ah well, guess she decided to go in early or something. He went over to his closet and opened it - inside was row after row of Noise costumes, and a few business suits for when he had to be "official." I know I promised Peppino I'd leave him alone, and a deal's a deal. He grinned maliciously. Doesn't mean I can't screw with anybody else!

He'd been an unholy terror to make up for not getting to abuse his favorite chew toy. Even his film crews, normally exempt, hadn't been immune. Pepperman would probably rip him in half if he could. Vigilante was threatening to try to bring actual charges against him. Like that'd stick. He got dressed. Y'know, awfully quiet today. Normally I'd be hearin' noise from the studios downstairs. He shrugged. Probably just on their breaks or somethin. Dressed for mischief now, he grabbed his sack of bombs and gadgets and threw them over his shoulder, whistling his theme music. No show today, so let's cause some trouble!

He stepped outside to... nothing. The halls were empty. Ok, that's weird. Not even a secretary. He found himself wanting to tiptoe, then shook himself and pranced proudly down the hall. He burst through the doors of the nearest studio. "HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK ALIVE!"

The room was empty. All the equipment was out, like they'd been in the middle of a show and suddenly all vanished. Noise started to get legitimately creeped out. "OK, break time's over, ya mooks! Come on out!"

Nothing but the whirr of fans and equipment.

Noise checked the break room. Empty. He ran down to the cafeteria. No one. Every room was empty, stuff left laying about like everyone had just evaporated on the spot.

Noise pulled on his hat's edges. "What the hell is goin' on??"

He ran out the gate of the studio.

~~~~

The whole village seemed to be the same. He ran to the police station and burst through the doors. "VIGI! Somethin' weird is goin' on! My whole studio's..."

There was no one there, either. It looked the same - things strewn about as if they just vanished. He ran to Vigilante's office and banged on the door. "Vigi! You in there? Come on, answer me!"

The door swung open. On the wall of the office hung Vigilante, his cheese running, his eyes blank and white. His hat, boots, and gloves lay on the floor below him, and his mouth gaped open.

Noise shrieked. He ran outside, looking around wildly for anyone.

There! Out of the corner of his eye, he saw... Is that Fake? They look... weirder than usual. They were moving strangely, more like... those clones in the tower! Noise shivered. Those clones had been creepy as hell, eating whatever they could get in their mouths, including each other. Fake had kept them in line, but...

Fake crawled out, making strange ribbity noises. It approached him, looking way too hungry for comfort.

Noise backed up. "H-hey Fake, we're cool, right? You're not gonna... eat me or anything? Right? Buddy? Pal?"

Fake's tongue stretched out and licked him up and down, then retracted. Fake made a pleased noise and said, "Huungryy...."

Noise screamed and ran for his life. He ran around the corner. Peppino! Peppino can deal with this freak! He shrieked again as Fake appeared from nowhere, growling hungrily. Noise frantically hopped on his skateboard and activated the rocket assist, blasting away from the killer clone.

Then two more appeared. They're splitting up! Noise wove between them as they reached out arms and tongues for him. He darted down an alleyway, and shot across the street to Peppino's.

He burst through the doors. "Italian! You gotta help me! That clone of yours has gone crazy! It's splittin up! I think they're eatin' people! They... Fat Man?" Silence. "Pep-Peppino?"

Noise heard a sound from in the kitchen. He went through the doors, and found one of the Fakes standing there. As it whipped around to look at him, he backed away with his hands up.

Smiling, the clone opened its mouth wide. Inside was Peppino, covered in blood, halfway down it's throat. "NOISE! NOISE, HELP ME! I CAN'T GET OUT, PLEASE-"

Peppino screamed as the clone closed it's mouth again, and made a swallowing motion. Then it reached for him.

Screaming at the top of his lungs, Noise ran outside and across the street to Noisette's Cafe. We gotta get outta here! He burst through the doors -

The cafe was empty. Noisette's rabbit-ear hood sat on the counter.

Noise froze. His world spun. They ate Noisette. Sette. She's gone.

Suddenly something grabbed his bag from behind. He leapt away just in time - another Fake swallowed his bag of gadgets. Before he could move, the clone grabbed him and held him to its face, grumbling.

Noise trembled. I'm so dead!

Slowly, the clone opened their mouth wide -

And sitting on its tongue, filing her nails, was Noisette.

Noise was utterly confused. "Sette? You're alive! Waaaait, what's goin' on?"

Noisette hopped off the tongue and put on her hood. "Surprise, hon!" Suddenly people started popping up from everywhere. Four other Fakes walked in. One of them opened their mouth and Peppino hopped out, covered in blood yet apparently unharmed. Then the five fused into one. Vigilante walked in the door, apparently unhurt. Fake suddenly retched, and Noise's bag was vomited onto the floor.

Peppino looked at Noisette, stretching an arm covered in blood-colored goop. "Do you-a think I could use your washroom for a bit? This fake blood is-a nasty."

"Oh, sure, Peppino! Right over there!" Noisette gestured to the back.

Peppino grinned maliciously at Noise as he walked past. "Hope-a you enjoyed it, Noise."

Noise was seething now. "This was all just a prank, wasn't it?" He started stomping his feet. "Dat was way too far! I swear, I'll make that fat bastard's life hell for this!" He reached for his bag.

Noisette bonked him on the head. "You'll do no such thing! This wasn't his idea, it was mine!"

Noise was stunned, and not just from the punch. "Y-YOUR idea? Babe, what gives?"

She grabbed his shoulders. "Babe, I love you, but you gotta learn how to back off. All I've been hearin' for a week now is how miserable you've been makin' people. Some of your film crew almost quit! I talked 'em out of it, though."

Vigilante walked up and poked Noise in the chest. "Been gettin' complaints from all over town about you, Noise. People are willin' to put up with some pranks, but we been seein' real damage. I can't just ignore that, y'know."

Noisette shrugged. "So we decided to scare ya. I talked the whole town into it. Most of 'em are in La Crosta, but the crew and some of the villagers helped set this up."

Noise was flabbergasted. "That's... that's cruel!"

Peppino came out, rubbing stage blood off his face. "As-a cruel as tormenting small businesses and people just-a living their lives? Actually hurting-a them? That cruel?"

Noise spun and pointed. "I never actually hurt nobody! I thought you's were all dead! I thought Fake ate you!"

Peppino grinned. "And a fine-a acting job they did, too." He held his hand up.

Fake gave him a high-five, then chuckled. "We don't like splitting off or acting like that, but we agreed this time. It was... fun."

Noisette shook her head. "I'm sorry, hon, but actually, you have been hurtin' people. A few injuries, but that's too much. Not everybody is as durable as Peppino. Or as used to yer jokes."

Noise looked around. Everyone around him was glaring. He felt like he was in a spotlight - a very, very hot one. "Are ya all really so mad at me?"

One of them, one of his stage managers, spoke up. "Boss, we don't mind a few pranks, but lately you've been a bit... dangerous. Most of us were thinking of quitting for our own safety."

Noisette grabbed him and kissed his forehead. "Babe, you just need to back off a little. Keep it to regular pranks. Otherwise, you're gonna be out a crew... and maybe outta your own town."

Noise scuffed his feet. "All right, all right. I get the hint. I'll back off."

The crowd broke out in relieved applause.

"But don't think I'll forget this! You better work hard to make up for it!"

Noisette suddenly loomed over him. Her face was dark, and her eyes were full of flame - literally. "Noiiiiise?"

Noise cringed. She was terrifying when she was like this. "Eep! Sorry, Sette! Sorry!"

Suddenly Noisette was her usual perky self. "OK hon! That's all we needed!" She turned and waved. "Thanks everybody! Let's get back to work!"

~~~~

As everyone left, Noise stopped and lit a cigarette. Peppino stood beside him, then spoke. "I've-a, I've-a never seen her look-a like that before. Is that-a... normal?"

Noise blew a puff of smoke. "Italian man, there's few things in this world I'm actually afraid of, and one of 'em is that woman's wrath."

"I, uh, I-a can see why." Peppino was quickly reevaluating his relationship with Noisette.

Noise blew another puff. "After you, Pizzahead, and Fake, Noisette was the most dangerous person in that Tower."

"Does-a she have powers?" Peppino asked.

"If she didn't tell ya, it's none of ya business, big guy."

They watched as Noisette waved happily at a customer, then turned, produced a giant mallet from nowhere, and blasted a Giant Rat that was bugging her down the street. The Rat stood up and wobbled away. The mallet disappeared, and Noisette skipped back inside the Cafe.

Peppino shivered. "Remind-a me to never piss-a her off."

"That makes two of us, big guy."

#my stuff #pizza tower #pizzatower #peppino spaghetti #pizza tower au #peppino #pizza tower fanfic #peppino pizza tower #the noise #noisette #the vigilante #fake peppino #pizzaposting

[buckyr00s]

Pet Name: BABYBOY

pairing: Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia x Reader

summary: A Fourth of July celebration is the perfect occasion for his Navy friends to pressure Mickey Garcia into introducing his famous love: you. While his buddies have started calling him Fanboy, he will always be your babyboy.

warnings/tags: Part Two of Call Sign: FANBOY, but I suppose it can be read alone. Fluff and teasing. Cuss words. The minimal use of she/her pronouns. The one use of "ma'am". The use of “Star” as a nickname/term of endearment for the reader.

author's note: If the first part was an appetizer, then get ready for the main course, y'all!! I have to admit that I'm not American so if this is totally not how Fourth of July celebrations go, then...LOL my bad. But anyway, I am so glad to hear that lots of you enjoyed the first fic and want to read more about our beloved, dorky, lovesick Fanboy.

READ PART ONE HERE

main masterlist || send requests

Ever since his Navy buddies found out about you, they've been hounding Fanboy to meet you. With your influence on his call sign, you became famous at TOPGUN.

When it so happened that students and instructors alike were planning a Fourth of July celebration at the Hard Deck, Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia didn't hear the end of it.

Weeks--maybe even months--before the day, his friends would plead with him to invite you. Reuben "Payback" Fitch, Mickey's equally charismatic and charming pilot, was especially on his back about it. He was relentless, spending almost every few minutes trying to push his agenda.

Then one day, Mickey finally cracks. “God! Fine, I’ll ask,” he snaps. He watches his pilot’s eyes lit up, his smile wide and filled with mischief. And that is what made Mickey terrified. “Just…don’t be weird about it, okay? Be cool!”

Payback throws his hands up in surrender, clearly trying to stifle the smirk pulling at his lips. “I can be cool. I am cool,” he responds, only to turn towards the aviators around him and shout. “OPERATION STAR IS A-GO.” As the room fills with cheers, Mickey makes a grimace before giving Payback a what-did-I-just-tell-you look. At that moment, Mickey definitely starts to regret some of his life choices.

It's not like he doesn't want to invite you--there's no way he'll miss any opportunity he can get to see you. But, his friends certainly make a good deterrent. With the way they keep teasing him and asking him about you, he can feel in his bones that they'll embarrass the hell out of him in front of you.

Reuben nudges him with his elbow, breaking him out of his spiralling worries. "Call her right now," Payback casually instructs as if he didn't just make the most absurd request to Fanboy.

"What?! Are you insane?" Mickey whisper-yells. "After what you just did?! No, dude!"

Payback sighs, dropping his head low. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry. We're all just so excited to meet her. I'm excited to meet her" he stresses, slowly tugging at Mickey's heart strings. He knows his friend means well and that he's genuine when he says that, but there's a reason by Reuben Fitch earned the call sign he has--he's exceptionally good at pushing people's buttons when he needs to. Mickey's apprehension remains, but when Payback starts doing the most wide-eyed puppy-dog stare, he can't seem to say no.

"I hate you," he expresses through gritted teeth. He begrudgingly pulls out his phone from his pocket, walking to his dorm for more privacy. There's no way he trusts Payback and the room of aviators to not interrupt his call with you. Not after their 'Operation Star' antics.

"YES!" Mickey hears Payback exclaim from a distance. "YES! You're the best! Love you, bro!" He doesn't look back, but he knows Payback is doing a celebratory dance. My God, that man is convincing.

When you glance at your vibrating phone to see that Mickey is calling, you instinctively furrow your brows. He very rarely calls in the middle of the day, him being busy with flight school and you busy with your endeavours. So, when you answer the phone, you can't help but be worried.

"Hello?"

"Hi Star," Mickey blurts. You can practically hear him pacing back and forth. "Sorry to call you in the middle of the day-"

"Hey, no worries. It's good to hear from you. Is everything ok-"

"So, uh...there's this thing that's happening on the Fourth. Everyone's going to the Hard Deck--It's this bar that we all frequently go to. I think you'd like it actually. It's by the beach and everything. Anyway, it's a family and friends event...Drinks, music, barbecue, games. It'll be nice to see you and spend time with you. And my buddies-- They want to meet you. Actually, they won't stop asking me about you. They found that CD I burned for you and--"

"Mickey, baby, take a second," you interrupt. "As much as I find your rambling insanely adorable, I need you to slow down."

The line goes quiet. And then, he takes a deep breath. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right," you can hear that beautiful smile of his, instantly softening your anxious heart. "Let's start over," he proposes.

"Okay," you say, biting your lip to try and stop yourself from smiling like an idiot in love. "Hi Mickey. It's so good to hear your voice. How is everything?"

"Everything's okay. I'm okay," he trails off. You imagine he's looking at his shoes, his feet pivoting. He often does that when he's nervous because it helps him release some of his excess energy. "I miss you, Star," he admits in the most sincere voice, making your chest tighten.

"I miss you too, baby," smiling as wide as humanly possible. At this point, you don't care how lovesick you probably look. "Now what was that about me coming to see you?"

After making plans, the two of you take a few minutes to catch up before ending the call, understanding that you both have things to attend to.

Mickey plops onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. He honestly doesn't know how to feel. Talking to you always brightens his day and knowing that he'll be seeing you--that he'll be holding you--in the near future has him buzzing. But then he remembers that his friends will also be there. That they'll probably make it their mission to turn him as red as a tomato. And with plans set, all he can do now is brace himself.

A few minutes pass and he figures it's about time he gets up and continues his day. So, he kicks his legs up, standing from the bed and heading out into the hallway.

"Well..." Payback, who is leaning against the wall across Mickey's dorm, prompts.

"She'll be there" Fanboy discloses casually as he walks passed his friend, who follows behind him.

"YES!" Payback exclaims with a clap. This stops Fanboy dead in his tracks. He turns around, squinting his eyes and giving the other man a pointed look.

In an instant, Reuben knows his WSO is being absolutely serious. Despite his own excitement, he simmers down.

"Just promise me you won't scare her off when you meet her," Mickey pleads.

"Pilot's honour" Payback replies, placing one hand on his heart and holding three fingers up with the other.

With that, Fanboy turns back and walks off. "Don't make me regret this, Payback."

With a busy schedule of your own, the only time you are able to book a day to travel is on the Fourth of July itself.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come pick you up" Mickey clarified. "No, I'm okay, baby. Thank you. You've got so much to do that day. I'll just meet you there," you insisted. "Okay," he responded apprehensively. You were right, but he still wanted to pick you up from the airport. He wanted to savour every moment he could with you. He wanted to share the latest playlist he made for you on the drive to the Hard Deck. He wanted to be alone with you before all the chaos ensues. "Get out of the handsome head of yours, love," you chuckled, knowing all too well that he has the tendency to retreat into his mind. Your sweet babyboy.

The moment you drive up to the beach in your rental car, you feel the joyful, positive energy. By the time you get there, the afternoon sun already beared the brunt of its heat. While it is still bright and shining, the sun kisses--rather than scorches--your skin. Laughter sprinkles the upbeat music in the background in the most delightful way. The smell of the charcoal grill filled the air. Everything feels absolutely perfect.

Before heading into the Hard Deck where you agreed to meet Mickey, you take a few minutes to yourself. Walking towards the shore, you stare out into the water. The sounds of commotion around you fade as you focus on the waves, ebbing and flowing.

In that moment, you think about your sweet Mickey. About how when you first met him, your were taken back in how confident he seemed. Your ears fixated on his smooth voice. Your eyes trained on his dashing smile and his kissable lips. You think about what it was like when he was first trying to impress you; when he began to court you. And after all these years you've been together, he still acts as if he's trying to earn your heart--as if he didn't already have it.

"Star?"

Said heart leaps at the sound of his voice. You eagerly turn around to see Mickey, stood before you in disbelief. His eyebrows are knitted together and his mouth is open as if he can't decide if you're really there or if his eyes are deceiving him.

"You said you'd be here around 3 and it's..." he pauses to check his wrist watch. "27 past now, so I came out here to see if you got lost or something."

"I got here at 2:52," you tell him, visualizing the time displayed on your rental car as you parked. "I wanted to take a second to admire the view..." you trail, your head turning back to the water. Did you really just stand there for that long?

"Never mind that. Come here," Mickey smiles. Without another second to waste, you run and jump into his arms, wrapping your legs securely around his waist. Catching you effortlessly, he holds you tightly and twirls. "God, I missed this. I missed you."

You pull away to study him up close. You run your fingers along the hair on the back neck, mourning the gorgeous wavy hair he buzzed off when he entered the Navy. Your hands then settle on his cheekbones, thumbs gently smoothing his skin. You take the time to scan his face for any new bumps, bruises, scratches, scars, and wrinkles--he often acquired new tiny injuries; a mixture of clumsiness and an overestimation of his invincibility. And then, you shut off your brain and just allow yourself to stare.

Mickey rubs your back during all of it. He watches you watch him, savouring every second. But when he remembers they can't actually stay there for the rest of the day, he decides to speak up. "Do I have barbecue sauce," he laughs.

This makes you grin. Your silly babyboy. "Just updating my memory of my handsome lover," you respond, making him slightly flustered at the smooth compliment.

"You'll have more time for that later tonight," he smirks, lightly patting your bum before putting you down. "But for now, there's a bunch of jerks in the Hard Deck eagerly waiting to meet you."

"Lead the way, baby"

"Yes ma'am."

The Hard Deck is a lively bar. Everywhere you look, someone is having a good time. Mickey is pulling you along to the far end, toward some very tall and very fit men and women in uniform casually sipping beer and playing pool.

One particularly tall and fit man is leaned against the pool table, lining up his shot. However, when his eyes land on Mickey and then on you, he stands up straight. He smiles widely, showing off his perfect teeth. You can see him open his mouth to say something, but closes it a second later.

As you both stop in front of the pool table, you feel Mickey squeeze your hand. Without saying a word, he tells you that he's got you and that he loves you.

Mickey clears his throat, eyes scanning his group of friends. To say he is nervous is an understatement. "Guys," he starts. "This is Star. Star, these are my guys."

While most of his friends silently smile and wave at you, the tall man with the perfect teeth makes his way towards you. "Sorry I'm late," you say to everyone. "I had my head in the clouds."

"That's something you both have in common, then," the man laughs. "It's so nice to me finally meet you, Star. Your Mickey, here, talks about you all the time," he beams, holding out his hand for you to shake. "I'm--"

"Payback?" you cut him off to his surprise. "He's told me a lot about you too," you confess, rejecting his hand and opening your arms out instead.

He looks down at you with a smile and a look of disbelief before opening his own arms and accepting your hug. Turning his head towards Mickey, you hear him say, "Oh we're going to get along nicely."

This makes you chuckle. Mickey is right--Payback is funny. Before you both pull away, you get on your tippy toes, lowering your voice so that only Payback can hear. "Thanks for keeping him safe."

He gives your arm a firm squeeze in response before releasing you from his grip. The friendly smile returns to his face as he turns to Mickey. "Be a doll, Mickey, and get the love of your life a beverage."

Mickey glares as him in suspicion as the man blinks at him innocently. Grabbing Mickey's hand and squeezing it, you reassure him. "I'll be okay," you insist. And with that, he makes his way toward the bartender.

A few minutes later, Mickey comes back with two drinks in hand. His heart drops a little, though, when he notices that the previously occupied pool table has now been abandoned. And then a familiar chorus of laughter makes him turn. Oh no. Quickly, he follows the source of the noise: a booth in the corner of the bar. There, he finds his friends seated around you, Payback's long arms comfortably slung around the back of the booth

"And here's the man of the hour" Payback announces, everyone including you looking up at him with wide grins.

"You didn't" Mickey sneers.

"Oh, I did, Fanboy" Payback singing his call sign.

"You dick! You promised," Mickey groans. You stand up then, weaving your way towards him.

"I promised that we wouldn't scare her off when I met her. Well, we met. And now we're practically best friends," Payback shrugs.

You look at his pilot with a friendly, but warning smile. One that says "we're definitely friends, but ease up." And he understood instantly, giving both of you a sincere--maybe even apologetic--smile.

"Sorry about them," Mickey sighs, looking at you like a wounded puppy.

You wrap your arounds around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. Pulling away, you look lovingly into his eyes. "Don't be. They're great. And you're cute. My sweet babyboy."

author's note: listen, fanboy is a sweet babyboy!!! no one can tell me otherwise. hope you enjoyed the fic and i hope this character and danny ramirez start to get the love they deserve on this website! I also hope that I didn't make Payback come across as a total a-hole. Because that isn't my intention at all. Def open to comments and feedback!

tags:

⚡ @hueanhdang

⚡ @lilisangel

⚡ @blakebearsblog

#mickey fanboy garcia x reader #mickey garcia x reader #fanboy garcia x reader #fanboy x reader #mickey fanboy garcia #mickey garcia #fanboy garcia #fanboy

[cool-person-yey]

Hey folks, so I was a bit bored and thought I'd be cool to take some notes of my thoughts while I was watching the first episode of tmagp

Most of them are nonsense but that's the way I think so

obviously, there will be spoilers for the new tmagp episode ( I'm tagging it tmagp spoilers ofc) so I'd you didn't watch it, go watch it now cmon man

welp, here they are

TMAGP SHOW NOTES!!!11!;1

• Oh dang 44 minutes ???

• ohhhh ominous music :)))

• HI ALEX

• HOLY SHITTT

• RUSTY QUILL PRESENTS THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL LETS FUCKIN GO

•* printer not functioning noises*

• not even 5 minutes in and I'm already recognizing some voices

• Alice <<<333

•BONES ARE A BIG LIE MADE BY MILK TO KEEP YOU BUYING IT that's what I've saying

• I also function on coffee and spite. and social media drama. as a treat.

• sorry mate you deserve to be booed

• " or they finally kill me " oh boy

• ooooohhhh Gwen!!!!

• " I'm your cool sister, Gwen's your uncool sister, Lena's the emotionally distant mother, Teddy is the uncle that just got another job and Collin's the grumpy IT manager" just. this. idk. just

•Alice is funny and I'll die on this hill thank you

• not the nepotism

• the spooky tape recorders already started or is teddy just forgetful??? hmmmm

• mold you like clay

• Alice is my favorite character actually

• Windows 95? oh wait no

• "what does it do?" "crashes mostly"

• " is that legal?" " probably. We do work for the government. sorta"

• finally a filing system that's a least a bit understandable(???)

• " The coolest person *left* in London" the hell you did to the rest of them Alice? 🤨

•wait what

• smashing it with a hammer would fix a lot of problems. supernatural or not.

• Collin is a mood

•Norris, Chester and Augustus huh

• WAIT WHAT

• NEVER HEARING WHO

• WHAT

• CEMETERY???

• THE HELL

• ARTHUR!!!!

• took him away from you??? this is concerning

• oh no,,,,,

• Darla?

• it spoke! using another person's voice— oh no

• discolored skin? mismatched features? oh no

• " some of him:)))" oh no

• shit

• being afraid of someone ( or some parts) of someone you loved. we're starting well

• Yeah there are worse ones buddy

• oh cmon it ain't that bad just put the goddamn word in there

• "you traitor" love me a dramatic queen///

• OHHH SHE'S GOING INTO THE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE ( the equivalent of it in a office job I suppose)

• ohh performance review okay

• look kids, sometimes you gotta deliver a work that's just okay instead of ABSOLUTELY perfect.

• so Gwen's the overachiever, got it.

• she's saying that as if Alice hasn't been shitting on everyone there already lmao

• oh we wish it was that easy

• oh the deja vu

• " what do you actually want" " your job" damn she's bolder than I thought lmao

• I wish I could talk back to people like that

• damn Collin's pissed

• Alice being a menace we love to see it

• " I'm a vegetarian" deadpan

• top 10 awkward conversations

• Collin is the most relatable of them all

• " a bit bleak" is an understatement

• clack clack clack

• you really need to know bro's backstory on his first day?

• is there a bet going on on who has the worst awful backstory to explain being there. that'd be funny I think

• buddy that's the worst place to try getting back to your feet but ok

• MAGNUS INSTITUTE RUINS LETS GO

•" what's the deal with the Magnus Institute" well. see. there's a lot of deals.

• alright? just a semi-normal conversation as of now

• nope

• yea the institute does that to ya

• " a cool vibe " yeah buddy

• "offices like little cells" oh you'd be surprised

• ARCHIVE HE SAID ARCHIVE!!!!!

• oh no the symbols

• strange stains mmnn

• an,,,,, empty box?

• photographic distortion. oh boy. oh boy.

• yea guys don't steal stuff from spooky sightseeing places especially if they could be yknow. cursed.

• are we going to be listening to ppl fighting on the internet rn or

• IMAGE REMOVED??? STAY ABOVE GROUND??? OH NO

• EYES????

• GORE???? OH BOY,,,,

• and the thread was locked. well damn.

• a blast from the past huh

• " is a bad name" " so is Gwendolyn"

• hmm static

• phone

• "you get a job and I got a victim"

• that seems like a reasonable theory tbh

• cleaning toilets actually helps people

• Sam noodle arms confirmed

• " to new beginnings" " with old friends" * clank*

• oh great more little noises

• more noises

• OHHH

• find who???? WHO????

• oh you got to be kidding me

• more ominous music hmmmm

• The Magnus Protocol is a podcast FUCK YEAH IT SURE IS!

Phew, that was a lot. thank you if you read all of this lmao

edit: fixed some misspellings, if there any left please do warn me! my heading's not the best and auto-correct is a bitch (especially if you use two languages lmao)

#tmagp spoilers #tmagp #the magnus protocol #just my silly thoughts #I should do rhis more often actually lol

[wonderlandleighleigh]

toomanylizzes

Ella and Lane, contemplating starting a band

(season 5 of GG)

Lane doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere except Stars Hollow, and as she steps into the small corner bar in the West Village, she feels like that's a good assessment of herself.

She shifts through the crowd of people awkwardly until she finds the person she's looking for in a back booth, what looks to be a ginger ale in front of her, along with a notebook and pen.

Ella lights up when she spots her friend, hopping up and hugging her tightly. "Hi! Thank you for meeting me! I know getting into the city is a pain, but I'm glad you made it!"

"Well, you said you wanted to talk music stuff," Lane grins as she hugs her back and they both take a seat. "That sounded important."

"I mean, we're not ending world hunger, but I hope it'll be worth your time," Ella giggles. She looks around quickly and catches the bartender's eye. "A coke for my friend?"

"With rum in it?" the bartender asks.

Ella gives Lane a questioning look, and Lane wrinkles her nose and shakes her head.

"Plain! Maybe later!" Ella calls.

The bartender rolls his eyes a little, and Ella laughs softly, pushing blonde curls from her face.

"So?" Lane asks, smiling. "I'm meeting you in a cool, out-of-the way bar in the Village to talk about music."

"Yep," Ella nods. "Because holy hell, do I need a new band."

Lane blinks in surprise. "I thought you were happy with Boris and Benny and Bea."

Ella blows out a breath. "Boris and Benny and Bea are great musicians. Really. But let's be real. As people, they are terrible Selfish and self-involved. They don't care about anything but their own fame and wealth. And they're terrible to tour with. So, I fired them."

"Wow," Lane breathes out. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," Ella confirms. "So that means...I need a new band."

Lane blinks again. "You...you want Hep Alien?"

Ella bites her lip, looking a little pained as she speaks. "I want you."

Silence settles over the table.

"Me?" Lane asks with a squeak. "Just me?"

"Just you," Ella confirms. "Come on, let's get real. You're what makes Hep Alien special. Gil's fine. Brian is fine. Zack is...Zack. I mean, he's a great guitar player, but a mid-level singer and his songwriting skills need work. You, on the other hand, have worked your ass off to be an incredible drummer."

Lane sits silently, staring at the other girl. "I...what? Really?"

"Really," Ella nods. "I want you to be my drummer."

Lane stares more, clearly still in shock as Ella opens her notebook.

"I have thoughts on a bass player," she says. "He's amazing. His name is Gray and he's so loose, and he's so fast, and he's a total sweetie."

Lane takes a breath. "Yes."

Ella looks up at her as the bartender settles the glass of coke in front of Lane and she takes it, chugging about half before setting it down firmly. "Yes?"

"I'm saying yes," Lane says. "To being your drummer. I'm saying yes."

"You don't want to-"

"No," Lane snaps. "I don't want to think it over, or talk to the band or any of that. I...I want to tour. I want to play. I want to get out of Stars Hollow, and see new things, and my current situation isn't letting me do that, so yes."

Ella beams at her. "Welcome to the band."

"So. Gray?" Lane goes on. "He seems cool."

"He is cool," Ella assures her. "Super fashionable, best shoe collection ever, and his boyfriend is actually a sound guy, so bonus."

"Serious bonus," Lane agrees. "What about guitar?"

Ella hesitates.

"What?" Lane asks, looking confused.

The blonde takes a deep breath. "So. Here's the thing...Dave Rygalski is uh...here. In New York."

Lane stares at her, frozen in place.

"He kind of...burnt out quick in California," Ella explains. "And uhm...he's crashing with Jess in Brooklyn right now."

Lane's mouth opens in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"The guys a mess!" Ella cries. "He hasn't even told his parents, according to Jess."

"Since when are you so buddy-buddy with Jess?" Lane asks.

Ella bites her lip.

Lane's eyes widen even more if possible. "Does Rory know?!"

"Rory knows," Ella tells her.

"And she didn't rip your head off?" Lane asks doubtfully.

"I mean, she thought about it, but then she realized that she wanted both Jess and I to be happy, and she's fucking a trust fund baby at Yale, so it's not like she's currently interested in getting Jess back."

"Wow, this whole band thing got complicated fast," Lane huffs out. "Jess isn't touring with us, is he?"

"God, no, he'd be a nightmare," Ella assures her. "No. But...Dave is still a great guitar player, and he kind of needs a win."

"So you want me to tour with my ex-boyfriend," Lane says. "And record with my ex-boyfriend."

Ella shrugs helplessly. "Fleetwood Mac made it work."

"Dave is not as good a guitar player as Lindsey Buckingham, Ella," Lane points out.

"If you hate him that much, I'll find him a different gig with a different band, and we can look for a totally different guitar player," Ella tells her gently.

Lane slumps back against the booth, crossing her arms. "Can I talk to him first? Just...do a vibe check? See where we stand?"

"Totally!" Ella promises. "I will set up lunch for you guys and you can crash with me on Riverside Drive tonight."

Lane nods and sips more coke. "I really want rum now."

Ella nods and leans over. "Bartender! It's a pirate's life for us!"

#fic #au #tmmm #Gilmore Girls #Ella Bruce #Lane Kim

[midnightcreator12]

So about that Live Action Avatar

....so, I don't think its going to be good....but I'm going to TRY and give the Netflix Avatar a shot....

.....this is just my thoughts during episode 1....and I'm trying very hard to not be biased but...eh...

Apparently we suffer from the same affliction as Shamalan: For some reason, we have to make the bending look slow as hell and lack any kind of power.

Oh, but hey, you killed a dude on screen. Nice, are we gonna see the darker sides of murder via bending?

Why tf is Aang flying without the glider? No, he's not falling slowly, he is FLYING. Boy thinks he's superman out here.

I'll give you the Aang and Gyatso bonding, I appreciate that. Love what you're doing with that.

Apparently, the writers think I can't remember basic information because they've told me FOUR TIMES 'The Avatar, the only one who can master all four elements' you gonna tell me again later.

Why is Aang freaking out at being the Avatar? He's a ten-year-old boy, any kid would be hyped. I GET the not wanting to leave bit but he's just instantly like 'no, no, I'm not the Avatar' I get we're in a rush but please tell me he's not gonna act like a full-fledged adult.

Appa! You look good buddy!

So, Aang KNOWS that the Fire Nation is planning to start a war before he gets iced....I feel like this undermines how HARD the emotional hit is going to be when he realizes he's the only Air Bender left.

That gut punch when he finds Gyatso's body hits so hard because Aang doesn't know how BAD things have gotten. From where he's standing in the cartoon, he ran but after his ice nap, he calmed down and was like 'okay, I'm ready now!' But then he gets smacked with the 'last of his kind' trope and it firmly shows him how serious this war is.

....he's totally gonna be acting like a grown ass man through this.

APPARENTLY FIRE BENDERS CAN FUCKING FLY TOO, WHAT THE FU-

On-screen murder number 2 and, yeah, the bending looks cool here!

The fire nation is human cannonballing themselves into the temple, what the heck is that??

I do give the show props for showing the genocide of the Air Nomads.

Whhhhhy is there so much slow-mo showing nothing?? Did Shamalan help shoot this??

We have flashed forward and...as much as I appreciate the time in the temple, I still feel like it's going to undermine the emotional impact when Aang goes back. Part of why that scene hit so hard was because, up until then, there was reasonable doubt that all the air-benders were truly gone. Now, anyone coming in who has watched the toon already knows that but the hit when we see the bones of Gyatso, after sending two episodes with Aang being a goofy lil ten year old.....yeah, it won't make as much of an impact for new people coming in.

Hey Katara....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE FIRE NATION BOAT!? WHY ARE YOU PRACTICING BENDING IN THE FORBIDDEN BOAT!?

Good sibling dynamic, off to a very good start.

Wait, she's not allowed to practice?? I thought the writers said they were ditching the sexism??

Hmmm, no, no. I liked it better when Katara got pissed and cracked the ice so Aang could come up. Also she's very meek so far. Sokka snaps at her to quit worrying about waterbending and she just...backs off?? I'm reaaaaally hoping that this issue will not stick.

Sokka...the boat is still close enough to grab....just...get it...

Oh hi Zuko! Did they do your scar right this time?

Nope! You showed SEVERAL people being BURNED ALIVE, but Zuko just forgot to put on sunblock? Did...did everyone just MISS the fact HALF HIS FACE IS BURNED TO HELL?!

Also, apparently, Katara just trying to pull the boat was enough to crack the iceberg?? No, still liked it better when she got mad and snapped open half the ocean. (do not make her meek, do NOT make her meek, I will tap out if you took her fucking fire)

Sokka: Nice, we're not gonna die. K, okay, that was funny. Good thing you're still funny so far Sokka.

....I don't know why yet.....but I don't like this Iroh....he's too....upfront.

Wait, Zuko is looking to get the throne??? wtf, NO, that makes his motivations just like every other fire nation General or Noble. I liked it better when he was a kid desperately trying to get back into his dads good graces by restoring his honor. wtf is this 'I am destined to be fire lord' bs?!

Okay, Aang can just FLY NOW! I GUESS!

Wh- why is Gran-Gran reciting the intro. WE JUST SAW THAT! I FEEL OFFENDED THAT YOU KEEP REPEATING INFORMATION TO ME!

Yeah, just cause you recited the og intro doesn't make you clever! That was a weird-ass segue into that.

Gran-Gran might as well have an 'Inset coin for exposition that we just saw' sigh on her neck.

OOP! There's Iroh aaand he's gone...you had it and then you didn't.

There's some Katara bite. More of that, please.

No, no, I don't like Sokka just going straight to 'Turn Anng over to the fire nation' Yeah, his attack was pathetic but at least he FOUGHT in the cartoon. Here he's just 'welp, see ya kid' ....guess they had to replace the sexism with just zero empathy.

Yay, Katara has some bite! ....shame it undermind Sokka.

The scene cuts are weird...the pacing just jumps all over the place.

I do not like Iroh flipping between 'serious, straightforward' and 'lol, I'm just a silly old man' PICK ONE!

Oh so NOW Aang suddenly can't fly.

Called it, having Aang know what happened right off the bat makes the impact hit less. So him going Avatar mode feels outta place as hell.

Again with the weird scene cuts.

Pft, aw, Zuko has a conspiracy board

Aaaand that was episode 1

....This feels like a checklist. Like when Disney remakes just go through all the most memorable bits of the cartoon because 'thats what the people want, right?' But they're skipping around all the buildup that helped MAKE those highlights hit so hard.

Scenes are rearranged and there is potential there but the choices made just...undermine the moments that are supposed to really hit us.

The kids do well acting but Gran-Gran looks like a younger woman with a wig on and all she does is quote the cartoon.

Katara has moments where her spitfire personality comes through but most of the time shes being very meek and backs down from conflict. The only time she doesn't is to convince Sokka 'hey, don't sell out the 10 year old to the fire nation.

And this is having the same pacing issues that the Live film had. They rush scenes that need to be slow and hold on bits that don't need to be slowed down.

I give the show props for effects and occasionally the bending looking good and for showing people being burned alive but the things it does right are outnumbered by the wrongs so far.

Maybe it'll get better as it goes but...I doubt it.

#avatar netflix #avatar the last airbender #atla #midnight talks

[weltato]

I'm watching the most recent US Ghosts episode (2x14 Trevor's Body) and I need to write down all of the points that make me go either "oh!" or "oh?" or "holy shit" etc. Warning for excessive use of caps lock bc I got excited and tbh this is mostly just my thoughts as I'm watching. Fangirl mode: engaged.

First thing's first: Trevor's body has indeed been found! Of course he gets fished up XD

NIGEL IS BACK BITCHES!

And the ant club, the ant club is back! They have Pete as a new member, oh my gosh I didn't know I needed to see Pete & Thor friendship so much

TREVOR'S PARENTS!? EXCUSE ME!? THAT'S SO COOL AND INTERESTING BUT KINDA MORBID???

Alberta said Yiddish words and I'm so proud of her, look how happy she looks and Sass is so resigned we love him

(side note: I'm not Jewish so I've no idea what she said but I'm guessing it's something akin to "parents" or the like, someone pls teach me)

JENKINS!! JENKINS HOW DARE YOU!! SIR!! THEY'VE JUST DONE THE KISS OK LET THEM HAVE IT STOP TRYING TO STIR UP DRAMA TF IS WRONG WITH YOU I KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS GO SULK IN THE CORNER!!

He's about to get smacked I swear

He even tried to stop them getting together in the first place, man is so bitter, Nigel just talk to him and explain pls

Oh no his parents are divorced oh Trevor no I'm so sorry, look at him he looks so broken HETTY THIS MAN NEEDS A HUG ASAP

"Peter, as our resident cuckold-" 😂 Thanks Hetty

AND THE MAN IN QUESTION WALKS IN, TURN AROUND ISAAC, TURN AROUND AND WALK OUT

FLOWERRRRR Flower bestie, the one time we wanted you lucid

NOW WE HAVE TWO VERY UPSET PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE

oh no sad Trev again, aw he looks so upset bless him

oh my gosh, Jay is just sat there reading 🤣 iconic does he do this every time they're all plotting together?

aw noooo, Trev it wasn't you, it wasn't your death that did it (probably hopefully maybe) they might have had problems before who knows?? just have Sam ask them

my goodness Jay is so invested, look at him being a good husband and friend, he just accepted the parent trap idea

and of course Thor takes "trap" literally XD

Lenny and Esther, amazing names (I actually really like the name Esther this makes me so happy)

Oh no... This is the look of a man who knows he done goofed

Nigel....what did you do?? Answer me honestly, what happened??

ohno

ohnononono

Isaac has enough self-confidence issues as it is DO NOT COMPOUND THINGS!!

a respite doesn't cut it buddy, Isaac is hurt now, you have hurt him, how dare you, you're gonna have Hetty and Thor coming for you mate

damn it Jenkins!!

oh my gosh it's Nancy! the cholera ghosts are getting a shoe in the door, good for them!

"Isaac is now second most famous cuckold in the house" you didn't have to kill him again Thor

oh Alberta, no. as much as I know you're wanting to help Isaac that is not going to help

please don't suggest he goes for Jenkins this will stir up more problems

omgosh Thor you beauty

but a Puritan? really? at another household? oof, that's gonna be heavy

THANK. YOU. SASSAPIS! clever boy

and Isaac asks about the Puritan anyway 🤣 of course he does

and now we're back to Trevor- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT I PROMISE T^T

"we're going to hell" don't tell Hetty, she can make you go down on 'em

and of course Albert and Flower watched XD that tracks with them so well

Sass being the good guy until Hetty appeared....yeah, sure pal, sure

and Hetty found it "educational" uh huh, yeah, sure thing Hetty, you keep telling yourself that

Trev looks rightfully disgusted

shouting through windows, lovely ngl I find this so awkward

yes Isaac I'm just as uncomfortable as you are buddy

Trevor 1968-2000 he's 40! he doesn't look it honestly

aww, that's actually a sweet little memorial

yay! Isaac is forgiving Nigel! yay!!

Jenkins is in fact a son of a bitch, well said Isaac It's all your fault, Jafar Jenkins

ohmygosh moving in? moving in? yes?

yes you are baby stepping Nigel but Isaac needs this let him have it

MOVING IN!

told you Trev, told you, not your fault - DAMN IT LENNY WHILE THEY WERE IN SCHOOL?? DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME SIR?

someone give Trevor a hug or so help me I will scream

thank you Alberta TvT lowkey wanted Hetty but you work too, that's so sweet

yeah, you guys ARE #couplegoals you totally are, you're so sweet, the only people that I can say are also goals are Alison and Mike

(who wants another crossover episode?)

oh so is Thor 35 then? good to know

yep, the ghosts are children confirmed

and of course we end with Trevor trying to kill Tara Reid

Ok so that was a trip and a half, I'm excited for next episode now.

#cbs ghosts #trevor lefkowitz #isaac higgintoot #nigel chessum #thorfinn #pete martino #alberta haynes #flower #susan montero/flower #hetty woodstone #sassapis #sasappis #the cholera ghosts

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

To Make a Heaven of Hell (3/?)

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Virgil meets (almost) everyone and learns a bit about the usual goings on at the Hellp Desk.

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Chapter warnings: None I can think of

Notes:

I don't actually have a plan as for where this story is supposed to go, lol. Just a few plot points. we're trying our best with what we have right now, though I'm currently attempting to focus a little more on my Big Bang fic.

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"Yeah, sure, go ahead" Virgil answered, glancing around again, feeling a little more confident now. How was everyone he'd met so far so nice? Would they all be like that, once Lily introduced him?

"Awesome, so as you look around," Lily said, gesturing behind her, first to a pair of demons who seemed to be bickering over what looked like… a packet of girl scout cookies? "That's Bel - Beleth - and Greg, Bel is the tall one with wings, Greg is the red one." 

Virgil nodded as he took them in, they were both very tall, but the one with wings - Bel - turned to look over when Lily spoke.

"Hey Lils, what's going on? I heard my name?" Bel said, Lily chucked. 

"We've got a new kid," Lily answered, Bel's face seemed to light up as he glanced around and Virgil wasn't sure he'd ever be able to picture such a terrifyingly built demon looking so excited.

"Who? Can I meet them?" 

"Hi," Virgil said, waving his fingers, "I think that's me. Have I- been adopted?" 

"You sure have, darlin'" Judy said with a smile, "Don't worry, they do this with everyone." 

"Oh… well okay, but you’ll be dealing with- me, I guess, I’ve been told i’m a handful," Virgil said. He found already liked the idea of this much better than going back to that door as Bel laughed.

"Great," Bel said, smiling, "I know Lily already introduced me, but I'm Bel, Lily's husband, general of eighty-five legions." 

He proudly extended an extremely large hand for a handshake, just like Lily had. 

"I’m Virgil," Virgil nodded after shaking his hand, man, he was strong, "Uh, single - I think - and General of emo makeup, stupid Tumblr posts at 3am and way too much coffee." 

Bel barked out a laugh, “You’ll fit right in here, don’t even worry.”

"Okay, continuing the introductions, over there - in the shark onesie - is Sharkie, she/they pronouns for them,” Lily said, pointing to a short person who was, in fact, wearing a shark onesie. They were currently talking to another soul - who seemed unreasonably angry about the decor of the lobby, of all things, though when she was mentioned they looked over and offered an energetic wave, which Virgil returned with a little less enthusiasm.

“Over there at the back are Ruggy - trainee t-shirt - and Angel, the pink one, they’re girlfriends,” Lily said, pointing to a pair who stood close together behind the desk, the pink-skinned demon - Angel, Virgil thought that was a pretty ironic name, right? - nudged the woman she stood next to before shooting a beaming smile his way.

“Hii!” Angel called, “You a newbie?”

“Uh- yeah, I guess?” Virgil said, looking her over, “I like your hair, it’s cool.”

“Thank you! I like yours! We’re ombre buddies!” She gasped, her voice was bubbly and excitable and Virgil found themself smiling just from proximity, “He’s a cutie, Rugs, we’re keeping him.”

“I think Lily’s already got dibs,” Ruggy laughed, Angel pouted, “hey! It’s nice to meet you!”

“Who else… Dante’s at school, Penny’s spending the day in her paradise, you’ve already met Judy - the twins, where are the twins? Angel?” Lily called, “Do you know where the twins are?”

“Oh!” Angel said, “Remus was here a bit ago, xe said they had ‘something to discuss’ with Cthulu - I think you know what that means - and I think Roman’s helping to direct the play the high schoolers are putting on at The Theatre in a few weeks today! I doubt either of them will be back soon, though.”

“Darn, well it’s just us for now then,” Lily shrugged, “In that case, how’d you like a bit of orientation as to how things work down here, Virgil?”

“Okay - but uh-”

“Hey! You!” Someone yelled from behind him, Virgil turned arond with a start, eyes wide, to be faced with a soul who was more red in the face with anger than Virgil had ever seen - and he’d seen a lot of people angry.

“Me?” Virgil practically squeaked.

“Yeah, you,” He said, “You work here?”

“Not yet-” Virgil said, taking a deep breath and standing up to his full height - taller than this guy - he’d dealt with his fair share of angry people in his life, this was nothing, “But uh- I will be, I think?”

He glanced back at Lily, who was watching him with a worried expression.

“Hey! You’re talking to me,” The man snapped, clicking his fingers right next to Virgil’s ear. 

“Hey dude, I don’t even work here,” Virgil told him, “Yet, I literally just got here-”

“I don’t care! There's been a mistake, clearly, because I’m here.”

“Okay, but-” Virgil started, before being interrupted again.

“I already told you I don’t care about you, I just need help.”

“Excuse me sir would you kindly stop bothering my new kid and talk to someone who is, you know, actually sitting behind and working at the desk,” Lily said, when Virgil looked back, she was twirling a knife around her fingers with a smile that - at face value - was a classic customer service smile, though Virgil thought they could pick out something a little more menacing behind it, “Now your options are to fuck off down to your level like a good boy, or, oh look! we just got the cheesegrater setting working on the trapdoor again! if you’d prefer to experience that instead!”

The man finally stopped talking for a second, though he seemed geared up to protest, before they heard a woosh and looked to the side, where the shark-person was now crouched on the desk, holding what looked like a real lightsaber, with an outright unhinged grin on their face that had Virgil doing a double take.

“Y’know uh-” The man said, looking between Sharkie and Lily with more fear than anger on his face now, “You uh- the stairs were which way again?”

“Good choice,” Lily said, tone stone cold as she placed the knife on the desk, “Stairs are that way, they’re labled.”

“...Woah,” Virgil said, as soon as the guy was out of earshot. Sharkie slumped.

“Damnit,” She said, “I really wanted to use the lightsaber today.”

“I’m sure you’ll get another chance later, Sharkie,” Lily waved them off, before turning back to him, “Are you okay? I didn’t expect him to go after you like that.”

“Oh yeah,” Virgil said, waving his hands, “I’m fine, that was - I’m used to stuff like that,  I’m uh… more surprised that you guys stuck up for me…”

“‘Course we did, newbie,” Sharkie said, punching his arm as they hopped off of the desk, “You’re part of the team now right?”

Virgil nodded slowly, “I think so…”

“Yes, you are,” They said with a nod, “And that means we got your back, kay?”

“...okay,” Virgil said.

“Hey Sharkie,” Lily said, “We’ve got another soul incoming, you think you can show Virgil around the break room?”

“Sure mum!” Sharkie said, grinning, “C’mon, emo boy!”

—-

“Okay so this is the water cooler,” Sharkie said, “Ignore that noise, this is cool, right, because it has a ‘water to wine’ filter, so you can get wine from it if you want!”

Virgil’s attention was brought back to Sharkie as they demonstrated said feature, and he tried to ignore the screaming he could hear from beyond the door. 

“Is that uh, normal?” Virgil asked quietly, gesturing with his themb back towards the Hellp Desk.

“Oh yeah,” Sharkie nodded, “We get at one that needs a smackdown at least once a week, it’s cathartic!”

Virgil nodded slowly, grimacing as he thought about it, “They are… actually bad people, right?”

“Well duh, this is hell,” Sharkie said, making a face, “Like, yeah there's the ones that are just here for therapy, but they’re not the shitty ones, and we don’t beat up the shitty ones.”

Humming in acknowledgement, Virgil felt himself relax a little, knowing that the people he’d just met weren’t… secretly just like everyone else he’d known in life.

“The guy getting torn to shreds out there is like, irredeemably shitty, I promise,” Sharkie said, clearly noting Virgil’s wariness around the solutions, “Like one of those dick billionaires or something.”

“We get to beat up dick billionaires down here?” Virgil gasped, snapped out of his worries, “Can I punch Elon?”

Sharkie snortied, “That’s the spirit! He’s not down here yet, but I’ll save ‘em for you!”

“Thanks, Sharkie,” Virgil said, allowing a smile to creep onto his face as they grinned.

“Okay okay, back to the tour, over here we have the sorta kitchen area, people leave snacks in here sometimes, if it’s not labelled it’s free game,” They told him, gesturing around the space, “Lily always keeps snacks in her desk too so if you need some just lemme know.”

“Won’t she get mad?” Virgil asked, glancing back at the door. They really didn’t want to get onto Lily’s bad side. 

“Nah,” Sharkie waved a hand, “Not really, and I’ll cover for ya.”

“...If you say so,” Virgil said, smiling as Sharkie bounced around the space, explaining the excuses wall and the chuckleheads' wall of shame…

“So yeah, this is where we put the last soul who got laughed at by God.” Sharkie explained, gesturing to the picture currently plastered to the board - she looked like your typical Walmart Karen, “Oh, I think the screaming’s stopped, c’mon, lets go back out and Lily’ll show you how the desk works!”

Smiling fully now, Virgil followed Sharkie out of the breakroom and back into the lobby. 

He might have woken up that morning in the mortal world, dreading the day ahead… But it sure had turned out to be an interesting day indeed. 

—-

“Hello this is the Hellp desk, baring in mind I just got here and don’t know what I’m doing, how can I help… you?”

“Hey! You’re the new kid, right? Angel sent a text that I didn’t read-” Said the demon standing at the desk, whom Virgil was now staring at, slightly terrified.

“I’m so sorry sir- ma’am?” Virgil asked, face immediately going red, “I didn’t realise you weren’t-”

“Any terms are fine,” They said, “Any pronouns too, so, it’s cool, I’m Remus, nice to meet ya!”

Virgil hesitated to shake the demon’s hand, in part due to the fact that he was soaking wet and dripping water all over the floor and the desk, another part due to the fact that he stank of seafood. Eventually, he shook zer hand, very quickly, before pulling away and finding that it wasn’t water dripping from her hand, but some kind of slime. 

“Don’t mind the gunk,” Remus waved them off when they opened their mouth, “I was just with Cthulu, kinda part of the deal, anyways, newbie, where is everyone? They leave you here by yourself?”

“No, no,” Virgil shook his head, “Lily, Bel and Judy went to the breakroom for a minute, something about a pie, um, Greg? I think. Said something about Level 9, and the um, the girlfriends? I don’t- names- they went off somewhere, I think I heard coffee? And I don’t know where Sharkie is.”

“Probably raiding someone’s snack drawer,” Remus waved him off, “Have ya met my brother yet?”

“I uh… don’t… think so?” Virgil said, narrowing his eyes, “Wait- are you one of the twins? I think the pink girlfriend mentioned a Remus…”

“Yup! That’s me! My bro’s Roman,” Remus nodded, “And if ya can’t remember then you haven’t met him trust me, you wouldn’t forget that guy, he makes it impossible.”

“Remus!” Someone yelled, “Get your sea gunk off my desk!”

“Oopsie!” Remus said, giggling as Lily strode over, “Gotta go! See you round, newbie!”

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General tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

Hell's Belles AU tags: @awitchbravestheverge @twoalpacas @goldnskyart @anxious-mess19 @doteddestroyer

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#sanders sides #hells belles au #virgil sanders #fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #rowan writes #hells belles

[quill-pen]

I saw a relationship TikTok, and got inspired, and churned this out. Enjoy, fellow Scroogians and Bess stans!

Rated T for some language, innuendo, and emotional abuse/manipulation.

Warnings: Barely edited. Let's walk on the wilder side!

Synopsis: A bachelor party is supposed to be a man's last night of freedom. At least, that's what society claims.

Freedom: A Timeless Scroogeverse ficlet

Bess bit down on her tongue to try and quell the torrent of annoyance bubbling up inside of her. She gripped her notepad so tightly her knuckles turned white. "Oliver, please?" she beseeched her fiancé for what must have been the fiftieth time in the last hour. "Can we try to focus on getting some wedding planning done right now? Even just the basics?" She tried to keep her tone even and non-accusatory, but still serious to let the young man know she was serious.

Olive seemed to have not heard her as he continued to focus solely on his game. "Oh-hooooo! Get rekt, bitch-ass!" He blew some rival player in half and leveled up. "Boo-yah! Sorry, babe, what were you saying?"

Bess was just about ready to grab the gaming system, the headphones, and the controller, and chuck the whole thing out the window, but then she would be sans all of it considering it was hers, so she refrained. "Oliver, honey, please!" Fifty-one. "Just give me fifteen minutes--even ten. Just to jot down some ideas for our wedding or get some dos and don'ts."

Oliver rolled his eyes as he released a heavy, long-suffering sigh. "I thought the wedding planning was all the girl's thing," he grumbled as he began to jump into another level.

"I mean, yeah, it's kinda turned into that, unfortunately. But I don't want it to be that way with us; we're both getting married, after all--it's both our wedding. We should both have a say." She sat in silence for a minute and waited to see if he would respond. None came. Typical. Bordering on desperation, Bess reached out, paused the game, and moved to stand in between Oliver and the screen. Then she grabbed the controller from his hands and sat it out of the way.

Oliver glared at her. "Hey!" he snapped. "What the hell, Specks--I'm playing! I'm going for the record of most kills in an hour!"

"And you can go back to that after we get some basics covered," Bess shot back, glowering right back at him. "We need at least six months to get stuff ready for the wedding, Oliver--we've put this off long enough. We need to have stuff decided by the end of February."

"Ugh! Fine! Anything to make you stop bitching and leave me alone!"

Bess felt a familiar twinge in her soul at those words and for a moment her resolve wavered. But she stayed. "Have you decided what color you want?

"Sure. Green."

The girl gave him a flat look. "Really?"

Oliver gave her a questioning look. "What? What's wrong with green."

"Nothing. Except I know your favorite shade of green and considering my color is yellow, we might as well just have John Deere decorate the entire thing for us."

Oliver's eyes sparked with an idea. "Hey, you think maybe-"

"No, I don't think they'd actually do it. Not that it matters because it wouldn't happen on my watch anyway."

Oliver crossed his arms stubbornly and stuck his nose in the air. "Well, if I can't have my green, you can't have yellow."

Bess shrugged. "Fine. We'll go secondary colors. Mine's lavender."

"Camo."

"We're not having camo for a wedding color."

"Why not?"

"A) It's not a color--it's a pattern. B) You don't even like the cool-looking camo--you like the ugly, realistic type hunters wear. C) If we have camo at our wedding, you and your buddies are gonna be making invisibility jokes the whole ceremony and reception, and I'm gonna wanna bash your heads in for it."

"Aw, come on, Specks. Just think about it: Me in a camo tux and my best man looking around all confused and going, "Who's she supposed to be marrying?" It would get so many laughs! Classic!"

"Ha-ha, yeah, no--you're not getting camo. Pick a color."

"Fine. Brown."

"Okay. Lavender and brown--those are nice, we can totally work with them."

Oliver sighed. "Great," he grumbled. "We got the colors figured. Can I play my game now?"

"It's my game because I bought it with my money, and no, not just yet. We still need to decide on our parties."

"What's there to decide? We're havin' 'em. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me from getting my bachelor party, I'll tell ya that right now."

"Fair enough."

Oliver snorted in superiority. "Hmph! Like I was 'bout to be cheated outta my strippers--yeah, right."

Bess paused in her notetaking. An uncomfortable sensation settled in the pit of her stomach like a boulder and refused to leave. "S-St-Strippers?" she just barely managed to croak out. She continued to stare at her notepad, unable to find the strength to look up at her fiancé. She felt her cheeks flush with heat.

"Of course," Oliver answered unashamedly, dismissively. "What else would you have at a bachelor party?"

Bess gnawed on her bottom lip, anxiously tapping the tip of her pencil against the notepad. "Uh--ahem!--a-are you s-sure you want strippers?" she asked, her voice sounding meek, small, and pathetic. Fitting--she felt pathetic.

Oliver threw back his head in a biting laugh at that question. "Specks, that's what a bachelor party's for! That's the only thing it's for! Why have one otherwise if you can't hire hot babes to get naked and grind on your lap? It'd be a waste of money! Besides, strippers at bachelor parties are tradition, and you know how I am about tradition."

Bess finally lifted her head just enough to peek out at the boy from underneath her hair. "You think traditions are stupid and meaningless," she pointed out quietly.

Oliver's eyes widened a bit and his face flushed; he'd been caught out. "Ahem! Well... I-I've changed my mind." His momentary flummoxing faded away and he looked confident and cocky again. "I mean, I am an engaged man after all--I'm growing." He reached around Bess and grabbed up the controller again. "Now, can we be done, Specks? Racing the clock for my record-breaking moment here." He grabbed Bess by the arm and rather forcefully pulled her out of the way of the computer. For added measure, he gave her a rather hard swat on the rump to send her on her way. "Love ya, babe. Mind makin' me a snack?"

Bess staggered a few steps away with a yelp. She reached around to rub her stinging buttock, and stood there a moment in a daze, still processing the conversation. Then she turned back to her fiancé. "O-Oliver?" she stammered voice still quieter than she would have liked. "Ollie... I-I think we need to talk more. A-About this stripper thing?"

"You volunteering to find some good strippers for me?" Oliver asked over his shoulder. He was already back to sprinting through the map to locate his next target. "'Cuz otherwise, I gotta rely on Mack and the guys, and you and I both know he's kinda an idiot for stuff like this and might get duped into hiring some fat, old, slobby wannabes looking to make a quick buck through Craig's List or some shit. I don't want wannabes--I want real, professional strippers."

Bess stared at him for a long moment, not quite believing what she was hearing. Oliver had never been particularly empathetic or even that great of a guy, but to ask her--his betrothed--to "find him some good strippers" for his bachelor party? This seemed like an entirely new layer of scummy Bess had yet to encounter. "I..." Bess began, then stopped. She tried to think of what to say: She wasn't always the greatest at putting her feelings into words Oliver could understand. "Oliver... I don't like the idea of strippers."

"That's okay. You don't have to watch them."

"Oliver, me watching them is not the problem; you watching them is what I don't like."

Oliver paused his game and swiveled around to look at his fiancée. "That right?" he asked, a certain edge to his voice.

Bess felt her anxiety spike with that tone. "I-It makes me uncomfortable," she stuttered, gripping her notepad tight and close to her chest, almost as if it were a shield. "The idea of you watching and getting rubbed on by naked women that aren't me... it feels... gross."

Oliver looked her up and down, his face unfathomable. That just made Bess more nervous. "Okay," he said after a moment with a non-committal shrug. "So, I'll tell the girls they can't get naked and rub up on me."

Bess shook her head. "That's not really the point--naked or scantily clad, I don't like the idea of you interacting with other women in any kind of sexual manner. It makes me feel... disrespected."

Oliver was tensely quiet for a minute. "So... what else do you think I should do instead?" he pressed, an angry bit to his voice. "If you're too insecure to trust me around other women?"

Bess felt tears sting her eyes at that accusation. "Ollie, I do trust you-"(at least she tried her best to)"-I just don't see why you need attention like that from any other women but me. I don't need it from any other guys but you." The girl prayed her fiancé would see her case; the idea of going on much longer with this conversation was a nightmare.

"I don't need it," Oliver corrected her. "I want it."

That doesn't make it better. "But why?"

"Because I'm a dude, Specks: I like it. Besides, don't I deserve to be treated real good on my last night of freedom?"

Bess was at a loss as to what to say to that. "I-I-I-"

"Look, babe, just because you're not as hot as a stripper doesn't mean you gotta worry me being snatched away by one of 'em okay?" Oliver's voice was infuriatingly patronizing. "After all, everyone knows you don't get caught up with a nine or ten. The fours through sixes are the marriage material girls." The boy had the audacity to wink up at her with a smirk. "And I've got my cute little five picked," he stated. "Ain't nothin' changing that."

Bess had never felt more disgusted. Or disgusting. She knew, objectively, she didn't rank above average in attractiveness and, even then, wasn't on the higher end of average either. But to learn that her own fiancé--the man she was about to marry and spend the rest of her life with--didn't even find her above average subjectively? The girl felt as gutted as a dead fish.

"O-Oliver... please..." she tried to continue, trying to hide her heartbreak and humiliation, "... I really don't think-"

"Oh, my god!" Oliver suddenly erupted, his face going dark. "It's not that big a deal--just let it go, Bess! Shit, you can be so controlling, ya know that? It's not my problem you feel like a fugly cow and can't handle other girls giving me attention!"

Bess stepped back in wide-eyed surprise. Oliver had never snapped at her quite like that before! A slight sting burning in her eyes, the dark-haired girl shook her head and started pleading: "O-Ollie, p-please-"

"It's my last night of freedom before I get stuck with you for the rest of my life--it's not gonna hurt anything to just let me have this one thing for one night. It's not like I'm gonna have it ever again! Jesus--Mom warned me about you being a bridezilla: Can't believe she was right! How fucking entitled are you to think you have any say in how I spend my last night of freedom?"

"You're right!" Bess suddenly blurted, desperate to get him to calm down. His yelling was quickly turning her nerves raw. "Y-You're completely right. I don't have any right to tell you how to plan your bachelor party or any say in what you do for it. It's your special night, and you deserve to be treated... y-you deserve to be treated."

The thundercloud that had quickly arisen in Oliver's eyes just as quickly evaporated away. He smiled rather triumphantly. Even smugly. "Glad you're finally seeing reason, Specks," he crooned. "I was afraid we were gonna have to call everything off. I'm not about to be stuck in a toxic relationship like some lame-ass chump. Love ya and everything, babe, but Oliver Sprague ain't no fucking simp!" He spun back around to start up his game again. "Now I need some peace and quiet, babe. Still got time to beat the record if I move fast enough!"

Left in a welling, dizzying pool of emotions, Bess simply turned to leave without a word, shutting the door behind her. Then, before she knew it, she was running, sprinting down the hall to the bathroom. With no time to lift the toilet lid, she lunged for the tub and spewed into it violently, painting the slick, off-white surface with partially digested food. She heaved over and over again until her stomach decided it was empty enough and wouldn't send anything else up.

Coughing and panting, tears and snot streaming down her face, Bess fumbled with one hand towards the faucet and turned the water on full bore. She changed to the shower setting to wash her puke down the drain. Then, exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions, the young woman collapsed against the side of the tub and sobbed. "I can't do this! I can't do this! I can't do this! I can't do this!"

Bess had never felt more trapped than while hearing her fiancé talk about his last night of freedom.

Bess stopped at the bottom of the steps to, once again, check the contents of the basket over her arm. For a brief moment, she feared she forgot the mustard, but, after double checking underneath a stack of napkins she thought she might have placed over the jar, she was reassured she hadn't and that everything was in its place. Whistling a little tune to herself, the woman mounted the steps and entered the two-story, Victorian-age, brick bank. The electronic tone announcing her arrival chimed throughout the floor.

"Be with you in just a moment!" a female, American voice called out.

Bess smiled as she turned her attention to the desk tucked behind a partition to her right. Behind the half-wall, sat a familiar copper-colored bun skewered with a pair of pencils in front of a computer monitor. "Hey," Bess greeted as she approached the desk. "Anybody order lunch?" She sat the basket on the desk and beamed ear to ear as that copper ponytail and the woman it was attached to rocketed around in her swivel chair to face her. "Hey, Con."

Her former housemate and best friend, Constance DoGoode (soon to be Scrooge) grinned back at her. "Did you say 'lunch'?" she asked.

Giggling, Bess reached in and pulled out a wax-paper-wrapped bundle. "Know anybody around here who likes toasted bagel sandwiches with salmon, avocado, arugula, cheddar, pickles, and tomato?"

Connie was immediately reaching for the paper-wrapped sandwich. "Oh, my goodness, I love you!" she exclaimed. "I'm famished! You'd be surprised how hungry inputting and adding up numbers can make you!"

"I have a feeling it'd just piss me off," Bess snorted as she watched her sister figure rip off the wax paper and chomp with a crunch into her sandwich. A little wave of anxious anticipation twinged through her. "How is it?"

Eyes closed, Connie raised a hand and slowly chewed her bite of sandwich. Finally, she swallowed. "This..." she began, slowly looking up at her friend with a bright grin, "... has got to be the best thing you've ever put together, Bess!" She dove back in for another bite. "Oh my god--so good!"

Relief washed over the dark-haired woman. "I tried something a little different this time. Gal asked me to help her come up with some new condiments and sauces for the cafe and pub. I decided to try a peppercorn mayo and I used it on your sandwich. What do you think? Any good?"

"Amazing!" Connie exclaimed around a mouthful of sandwich. "It adds the perfect little zing to everything; just the right amount of heat."

Bess beamed. "Good. Oh, and there's this." She reached again into the basket and pulled out a brown lunch sack. "There's some dessert in here, and a couple jalapeño poppers leftover from what I made for dinner last night with Wolf and Carl. And..." she reached in again and brought forth a little thermos decorated in cute, smiling cartoon suns and sunflowers, "... some pink lemonade that Mr. Cobblebottom brought over this morning." She sat both the thermos and sack down and pushed them towards Connie.

The redhead smiled up at her. "You're the greatest, ya know?" she remarked affectionately. "An absolute gem. Have I told you that lately?"

Bess smirked mischievously. "You could stand to mention it more," she teased with a playful wink. She turned her head in the direction of the back-office space and found it was empty. "The boys?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow at Connie.

Connie quirked an eyebrow towards the ceiling in indication. "Surprise business meeting."

There was suddenly a sound like the scraping of chairs on floors and the clattering of footsteps overhead.

"Sounds like they're done," Connie stated. "Right on time."

Bess turned her attention to the small stairwell on the left side of the room to see a group of people she recognized as the Scrooges' business associates and didn't know by name, come streaming out. Out with them came Bob, Ebenezer, and Ebenezar. The men were all still talking to one another, relaying their last opinions about whatever they'd been discussing, settling plans, and recounting short anecdotes.

A particularly short, round little man with a purple-red complexion and a walrus mustache was monopolizing Bess' dear Ebenezar's--or Wolf's--attention. "Listen, Benny-boy," he was saying, his voice a bit louder and more boisterous than the others, "all I'm saying is I've known you and your brother a long time--practically since you started in this business when old Marley hired you boys. I found out about your brother's wedding too late to put forth my candidacy to be the Best Man, but I'm not too late to do it for your wedding."

Wolf was looking rather annoyed (accurate, considering he hated anyone but those closest to him to refer to him as "Benny-boy"--and even then, he only liked to hear it from Magda) and uncomfortable. "That's most generous of you, Mr. Tittersmyth," he replied, trying to be as polite as possible. "But my brother is going to fill that roll."

Mr. Tittersmyth wasn't giving up. "Wait, wait--I haven't finished yet," he stated, completely unfazed. "As your best man, I'll make sure you get to have as much say in your wedding preparations as possible; because I'll be honest with you, my boy, women? You have to do battle to wrest any sort of control from them when it comes to a wedding! Otherwise, you're going to end up with a frilly, frou-frouy, powderpuff wedding that focuses solely on your bride, and you're just standing there beside her like a well-dressed doorstop. The very idea of a wedding--of a marriage--caters almost exclusively to the feminine sensibilities. We men have to fight for our voices to be heard or risk losing our very identity! Trust me, I know. Happened at my first two weddings; Everything was what my brides wanted--I was lucky to choose what color I wanted, and even then, I was given options to pick from. I don't know why neither of them liked my first choice: Pea green goes quite well with magenta and lilac, wouldn't you say so, Ben?"

Wolf looked at a complete loss for words. He began to flicker his gaze around the room to find something--anything--to use as a life-preserver in this sinking conversation. Instantly, his eyes fell on Bess. Immediately the banker lit up like a supernova, his fake smile turning into a genuine grin, his eyes softening with adoration and sparkling with joy. "Bess! My beautiful, wonderful darling!" he practically laughed. He strode towards her, looking like he was trying very hard to not break into a run to get away from Mr. Tittersmyth. In just a few strides of his long legs, the man was sweeping the woman up into his embrace and kissing her fully, unabashedly, somewhat gratefully.

Bess squeaked in some alarm at the sudden onslaught of blatant affection with such a professional audience in the room, but then she much too easily sunk into it. Her insides liquified to mush that bubbled and tickled in the most delightful way. She held her man's jaw in her hands to keep him close and let her eyes drift shut as she angled deeper into the kiss. The Yank felt breathless and lighter than air.

"Well, golly," Bess giggled when they finally broke the lip-lock. "What a welcome. Do you greet everyone who shows up in your office like that?"

"If this business deal goes off as planned," one of the associates stated with a chuckle, "I'll greet all of you boys like that next time I come in here." She sent a wry smirk Ebenezer's and Bob's way. A wink followed.

Bob blinked at the woman before turning to Ebenezer. "I feel like there's a threat in there somewhere," he stated only half-jokingly.

Ebenezer laughed awkwardly. He laid a hand on Bob's shoulder and gently ushered him away from the woman.

"What are you doing here, Brightness?" Wolf inquired, quirking a bushy brow. "I wasn't expecting you."

Bess shrugged within his arms. "Well, this morning, when you mentioned we probably wouldn't be able to go out for lunch because of all the work you had to get done, and that you probably wouldn't be going out for a lunch break at all, I decided I'd bring lunch to all of you."

"Isn't she just the greatest?" Connie chirped from behind her desk. She was never one to let a moment of praise for her loved ones slip by.

Wolf's eyes softened to a heartbreaking degree as he gazed upon the woman in his arms. "Yes," he agreed, speaking just loudly enough for his fiancée to hear. "The greatest, most amazing, most spectacular woman."

Bess blushed.

"Bess, you didn't have to do this," Ebenezer stated with an affectionate smile.

The dark-haired woman shrugged. "I know," she stated. "But it's no biggie. I'm off shift today and had the time. Besides, I enjoy cooking and making sure my people are taken care of." She smiled adoringly up at her fiancé who, in turn, bowed his head and touched his brow to hers. She bit back another girlish giggle.

"How utterly... traditional and domestic," the female associate replied. It was probably meant as a compliment, but the way she said it with such apparent disgust made it hard to take in a positive way. "I should go--my driver's waiting. I'll see you boys next time." She shook hands with Ebenezer and Bob (as well as rather coyly straightening his lapels and picking a piece of lint off his shoulder with rather suggestive finger movements) but bypassed Wolf altogether. For a second, she paused in front of the embracing couple as if in contemplation, then, with a look of distaste, moved on out the door.

The other associates slowly filtered out after her, all saying goodbye to the boys and the girls as well. A few slapped both Scrooge twins on the back with quiet little remarks along the lines of "You lucky fools," as they unashamedly ogled the women. Eventually, the only associate left in the room with the group of friends was old Mr. Tittersmyth. The stocky little man--a good two to three inches shorter than both Connie and Bess--approached the Wolves, his beady little eyes trained solely on Bess.

Seeing a hunger in his gaze, Bess shifted closer to her beloved, feeling even safer when his grip on her tightened and he moved a bit to stand between her and the man. Her grip on Wolf's waistcoat tightened as she pressed into his side.

"Well, well, well," Mr. Tittersmyth chuckled. "I've seen her pictures in the news, but are you going to finally introduce me to your pretty little vixen, Ben old boy?" The little businessman rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, looking much too eager for either Bess or Wolf's tastes.

The couple exchanged a look. Wolf was uncertain, as he didn't want to introduce his bride-to-be to such a lecher as he knew Mr. Tittersmyth to be. However, as lecherous as he could be, Tittersmyth was most definitely an important cog in the London business world and could either make future business proceedings and philanthropic ventures easier for the Scrooges, or much, much harder depending on if they pleased or displeased him; Tittersmyth was known to be excessively petty. Of course, despite all that, Bess' comfort and desires were the number one concern for Wolf, how ever Tittersmyth might end up feeling.

Picking up on her fiancé's silent inquiry, Bess smiled and nodded. Not that it didn't make her skin crawl, but she could make acquaintance with the old man. For the future her future husband and brother-in-law wanted, she could play nice with an old creep.

Wolf returned her small smile and nodded back. "Mr. Tittersmyth," he sighed, trying not to sound reluctant as he looked back at his associate, "this is my fiancée--Bess Sullivan."

"Bess," Tittersmyth repeated, his voice low and growly. He seemed to taste and savor her name, enunciating slowly and dragging out the 's' as though he were a snake. "What a lovely name."

Bess shivered. "Thank you," she replied quietly. Somehow, she managed to keep a smile on her face.

Wolf's fingers on her waist tightened. "Bess, Darling," he continued on, voice sounding a bit strained as he tried to keep civil, "this is an old associate of the business, Mr. Richard Tittersmyth."

"A pleasure," Tittersmyth said, extending a hand toward Bess. "You may call me 'Dick', Love." He gripped the woman's hand tightly when she placed it in his.

"That's kind," Bess returned as politely as she could. Her stomach lurched when she recognized that the man was going in to kiss her knuckles and wrenched her hand from his grip. "But I'm afraid I'm not comfortable with that, seeing as we just met, Mr. Tittersmyth."

Tittersmyth didn't seem a bit put out or fazed. Instead, his gaze grew darker as he leered again up at Bess, and he chuckled. "Feisty young thing," he remarked, folding his hands behind his back. "Knows her mind, I think." He took a step closer, angling to move around Wolf and get closer to Bess.

"That she does," Ebenezer cut in. He stepped in between Tittersmyth and his brother, as his twin--while pulling Bess further behind him--had now dropped his congenial mask and looked like he wanted to reach out to knock the fat little encroacher clean off his feet. "Bess is quite a self-assured woman of conviction."

"Ah, all the more reason to have me as your best man, wouldn't you say, Benny-boy?" Tittersmyth chuckled looking around one brother to the next. "I can make sure this pretty thing doesn't run roughshod over you with the planning." A sly smirk curled the man's lips, making his walrus mustache arch into grin. "And, uh, should it happen that your little woman needs some... extra entertainment-" he winked up at the tall billionaire rather conspiratorially, "-I'd be more than obliged to offer my assistance."

Bess felt both offended and nauseous at once. Bob spluttered on another thermos of lemonade he'd snuck over to take from the basket. Connie made a disgusted exclamation before clamping a hand over her ruby red lips. Ebenezer went white and glanced back over his shoulder at his brother.

Wolf looked borderline murderous, face red with that infamous vein popping and pulsing along his temple, jaw clenched so tight his teeth grinded, mouth and eyes drawn narrowly, hands clenching tight into a fist and onto Bess. He actually snarled, but only loud enough for both his brother and Bess to hear. The man made to move towards the little cad, but the tightening of his fiancée's grip and the shifting of his brother to stand even more in between Tittersmyth and himself stopped him. "I've been in the saunas with you, Tittersmyth," Wolf spat. "The only way you could possibly entertain Bess would be in the comic sense. Otherwise you would be of very pitiful and little assistance."

Bess bit her lip and shoved her face into Wolf's side to try and fight back the laughter that response threatened to summon from deep inside her. Connie snorted a bit, herself, and quickly swiveled around to face her computer to hide her goofy face.

Tittersmyth didn't even blink. He launched immediately into raucous laughter, grabbing at his round, jiggling belly. "HAAAAhahahaha! Oh, Ben! Good old Benny-boy! You always were the best one for wit and jokes." The little man, met Bess' eyes as she peeked out from her man's side and winked at her as he jutted a finger towards Wolf. "He's always liked to tease me, this one," he stated with a wide grin. "He can cut to the quick with it sometimes, but I know he's fond of me. Aren't you, Benny-boy?"

"As fond as two like magnetic poles."

That just made Tittersmyth laugh harder. "What a laugh you are, Ben!" he exclaimed as he slipped his hat on and turned to leave. "What a laugh!"

He was about to walk out the door when he paused and turned back to the group. "Just saying, Ben," he said, a singsong in his voice, "have me as your best man, and I'll get you the best exotic dancers for your stag."

If it were possible, Wolf's face flushed even darker red as his whole body went rigid. "Leave. This. Instant!" he barked savagely.

Tittersmyth did not drop his jovial smile. "Just keep it in mind, my boy." And with that, the codger finally left, whistling jauntily as he went.

The tension finally eased out of the air as Tittersmyth faded from view.

Sighing heavily in weariness, Wolf relaxed in Bess' grip and turned his full attention back to her. "I'm so sorry you were subjected to that... indecorous manner, Brightness," he murmured regretfully. The man lifted a large hand and gently brushed a curl of hair from his lover's face before stroking the backs of his fingers along her jawline as she gazed up at him. He felt the anger and irritation melt away as he gazed into those velvety, midnight eyes of hers. "I was hoping to prepare you a bit more for your first meeting with Tittersmyth, instead of having him thrust upon you like today."

Bess smiled reassuringly up at him. Standing up on tip-toe, she cupped his jaw in her hands and pressed a soft kiss to his cheekbone. "It's okay," she assured him, nuzzling the kiss in. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't know I was coming to try and warn me away."

Wolf hugged her tighter. "I am happy you came, though," he whispered as he nuzzled her back. "I'm happy you're here." A kiss was pressed tenderly to her brow.

Bess giggled and gently pulled away from him and out of his grip, grabbing his large hands in hers as she did. "Well, you'll be even happier when you see the lunch I brought you. No working on empty tummies today, boys. There's plenty for everyone." She led her fiancé to the basket sitting on the desk that the other two men and Connie were back to investigating.

The next hour or so was filled with warm laughter and camaraderie as the group took up chairs and lunched together, both ladies opting to take seats in their respective fiancés' laps. The men quickly filled the women in on what the meeting had been about, then spent the rest of the time chattering and laughing about the bank's associates. (Tittersmyth, of course, was a particular target for mockery.) The bank was filled with good vibes and cheer.

Even so, as Bess sat in Wolf's lap, laughing with the others and teasing him by snitching off his food and drink, she felt a familiar sensation niggling deep in her stomach--one she hadn't felt for a long time. Tittersmyth's comment about exotic dancers kept playing through her head: No matter how hard she tried to push it down and forget about it, she simply couldn't. And that was what brought back the old feelings of disgust, anxiety, and inadequacy. She was starting to feel exactly as she had when she'd been engaged to Oliver. And no matter how hard Bess tried to reassure herself that her amazing Wolf was nothing like Oliver Sprague, the feelings simply would not leave her in peace.

Bess sat at the dining room table in Wolf's penthouse flat. The beautiful mahogany table had, yet again, been turned into a wedding planning station, just as it had every other night since they'd gotten engaged. While initially intimidated by the process as her first attempt with it had been a complete nightmare (ending in a bad breakup), the woman had quickly come to enjoy the process. There was something incredibly satisfying and confidence-boosting about making and solidifying wedding plans. And when you actually had a partner that could be mature about it and actually wanted to participate in the process, it could even be fun. Bess had actually started to become excited for the planning sessions.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Bess' mind was racing to the point she felt sick. She was still thinking about Tittersmyth and his parting comment. She was still about exotic dancers and stag parties. Her fingers drummed out a nervous beat on the table while her feet tapped rapidly to keep up.

She tried to calm herself with the facts of the scene. Wolf had seemed extremely angry with that comment and had insisted Tittersmyth leave; even so, Bess' proclivity to overthink and be anxious refused to take comfort in that knowledge. What if he'd just gotten upset because Tittersmyth had mentioned the topic in front of her? Could it be possible Wolf actually wanted strippers for his stag? Pre-marriage parties and strippers seemed to go hand-in-hand--like it was some rite of passage or something. Bess had made it clear to her girls early on she was not into that scene: She wasn't the sort of woman that wanted to watch some random man strip down and give her a lap dance. She'd also thought Wolf wasn't that kind of man, but could she have been wrong? It was his stag party--his last night of freedom after all. It was a bit different than just going to a club some random night in the week to watch women get naked and ride poles: A stag was a special celebration for a man. Was it really that big a deal to celebrate with a naked woman who wasn't her so long as there was no funny business?

Bess didn't know how to answer that, she just knew it made her feel sicker than ever. Sicker even than when she'd gone through this fiasco with Oliver.

A hand suddenly gripped onto her shoulder, ripping the American from her thoughts and causing her to scream in alarm. She tried to whirl around to face whoever grabbed her, but she upset her chair in the process and toppled over. "Yipe!"

"Bess!" Wolf exclaimed. He quickly bent over her to help pick her up off the floor, concern etched in deep lines on his face. "Oh, Darling, are you all right? I'm so sorry, Brightness; I didn't mean to frighten you! Had I realized you were zoned out instead of merely focusing, I would have been gentler."

Still trying to calm her racing heart, Bess did her best to smile at her fiancé and brush off the situation. "No, it's okay," she assured him, rubbing her backside with only a slight grimace. "Zoning out, focusing--I look pretty much the same either way. And I had all the wedding stuff out, so it made sense you thought I was just focused. Oof! That's gonna bruise though."

Wolf gave her a sorrowful look. "I'm so sorry, Moonlight," he repeated gently. "Let me get you an icepack." He moved into the kitchen and dug into the freezer. "So, what was it?" he called over his shoulder.

"What was what?" Bess returned as she sat her chair upright and picked up a few papers that had scattered.

"What was it you were thinking so hard on that you zoned out?"

Bess' stomach twisted in anxiousness. She wasn't sure she was ready to have this conversation. "Oh... ya know. Things. Wedding business."

"I see," Wolf replied, folding the icepack up in a soft towel. "Wedding business." He sounded a bit skeptical. Coming back to the woman, he handed her the pack and watched quietly as she sat back down and settled the ice over her sore elbow. Then he gently pressed: "Could this be the same wedding business you were thinking about when you left the bank today?"

Bess looked up at him, hoping her surprise didn't show on her face. Really, it was uncanny how this man could read and understand her so easily. The only other man that had ever been able to do that was her stepfather. "Why do you think I was thinking of anything then?" she tried to avoid the question, attempting another smile.

Wolf wasn't convinced. "Oh, I don't know," he drawled. He grabbed another chair and drew it closer to sit beside his love. He straddled it and crossed his lanky arms over the top of the back before resting his chin on his forearms. The man gazed closely at the woman. "Maybe because you had that thousand-metre stare you only get when you're brain goes into overdrive and can't stop racing. Maybe because you grew steadily quieter during lunch and had to have things repeated more than once to you before you processed them. Maybe because you didn't answer Connie's "See you later, alligator". Maybe because my bloody brother made a ghastly pun and you didn't even snort."

Bess went silent, unable to think of any sort of explanation to give the man. She felt the color drain from her face as her guts knotted and unknotted continuously. Damn his intuition! But also bless it.

Wolf smiled empathetically and stood to move around his chair and kneel beside hers. Taking one of her hands in one of his, he covered the back of it from her fingertips to her wrist in kisses before holding it against his chest. He gazed up into her eyes, the slate-blue of his warm and liquid. "What is it, Brightness?" he whispered. "You can tell me anything--you know that."

Bess managed a tiny smile. "I know that," she said. She reached up with her free hand to cup the man's sculpted chin in her palm. She gently scruffed her fingers in his muttonchops. "You make me feel so safe, Moonsong."

Wolf chuckled warmly and let his free hand reach up to place atop hers and flatten it closer to his face. Turning into her hand, he kissed the wrist, heel, and palm before turning back to her fully again. "You are safe," he assured her, stroking both of her hands with his thumbs. "I promise you. You will always be safe with me, Bess--you understand that?"

Bess nodded as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. In an attempt to control them, she screwed her eyes shut and leaned in to plant a kiss along her beloved's hairline before touching her brow to his and breathing deeply. Even in her present anxiousness, the Yank had never felt so safe and loved.

Wolf held steady, allowing his love a moment to collect herself and use him as the rock to anchor herself to do so. "Was it Tittersmyth?" he inquired quietly when Bess wasn't pressing so hard against him.

Bess sighed, not pulling away from the contact yet. "Yeah," she rasped, voice a little shaky. "But... not in the way you might think." Finally, the woman pulled away from her fiancé and gave him a somewhat sheepish look.

Wolf scowled and let his gaze fall dramatically away from Bess. "I'll have his hide," he rumbled. When Bess snorted and giggled at that his smile returned and he looked back at her. "What was it then, Darling?" he gently prodded. He let go of her hand on his cheek and reached up to brush some loose hair from her eyes. He ran his fingers back along the coal-black waves and drew her loose ponytail forward over her shoulder to gently play with and twirl the strands. Bess always seemed to calm down best when he played with her hair. "What do I need to skin Tittersmyth alive for?"

Again, Bess snorted and shook her head. "You don't need to skin the old fool alive."

"Ah, we don't know that yet."

Bess rolled her eyes and cast her glance over the expanse of wedding planning tools spread out over the table. The smirk dropped from her face as she traveled back, not just to this afternoon with Tittersmyth, but all those years ago with Oliver. "Wolf..." she croaked out after a long silence, "... do... do you want... strippers at your stag?"

The man's fingers froze in her hair. His hand around hers at his chest tightened its hold. "What?" he nearly scoffed the answer.

Bess felt the tears in her eyes again, but this time they weren't coming from a place of happiness and love. She couldn't bring herself to look at the man she loved. "Because..." she had to gulp down the lump building in her throat, "... i-if you do... y-you can. I-I'm not gonna lie and say I'll be ha-happy about it, but it's your stag party, so I... I can be okay with it if you want strippers." Her chin was suddenly taken in a firm but tender grip and her face brought 'round to meet eyes with Wolf again. She gulped again as she gazed deep into those slate depths she loved so much.

The man looked at her for a long time, as if studying her closely for the very first time. He looked slightly... perplexed. Disbelieving. "Would you?" he finally uttered, voice very quiet. "Would you be all right if I had dancers at my stag, Bess?" Somehow the question sounded a bit like a challenge. A challenge to what?

Bess drew her lips into a thin line and set her jaw against an oncoming sob that made her chest and throat tighten painfully. She tried to breathe through it. "I... I think I could be okay with it," she managed to croak out, her voice sounding pathetic and broken.

Wolf's soft eyes grew sad, and it quickly spread across the rest of his features. "Bess...."

"I-It's your last night as a free man, after all. You sh-should get to spend it h-how you like, yeah?" Bess' vision was starting to swim now.

Without another word or any warning, Wolf was taking his mate into his arms and embracing her tight to his chest. Cradling her head, he pressed his lips to her crown in a lingering kiss. The way she curled up into such a small ball against him and pressed so close as she quietly shed tears into his shirt could have shattered his heart. Wolf knew how much Bess hated feeling this way--small, meek, frightened. She thought it made her weak and she hated to be viewed as weak. Of course, Wolf never viewed her that way, but the feelings remained all the same.

"This wasn't just because of Tittersmyth's comment," the man murmured after a moment when Bess' breathing seemed to have evened a bit. He stroked large hands over her hair and up and down her back in soothing strokes. "This was an issue with Oliver, wasn't it?"

Bess croaked out a laugh. She pressed her face deeper into his chest and moaned wearily as she gently smacked his shoulder. "Ugh. How do you always know?"

Wolf couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped him in turn. "Just lucky, I suppose." His fiancée snorted and he smiled, glad she was in slightly better spirits.

"Bess, my sweetest moondust," he went on after a moment, voice soft and low, "you wouldn't be all right with strippers at my stag party." It wasn't a question.

Bess sniffled and shook her head against his chest. "No."

"Then why say you would be?" He was sure he knew the answer, but even so, Wolf wanted to hear her say it. Bess being able to voice her feelings and have them listened to and taken seriously helped her to realize that her emotions and thoughts were valid--that she was valid.

Slowly, Bess pulled away from his embrace to sit back and face him again. She reached up to wipe away her tears and smiled when the man did as well, stroking her cheekbone and the inside of her nose with his thumb. It still amazed her how any man besides her stepfather could be so gentle and caring in every possible way with her.

"Bess?"

"Oliver... made a stink when I told him I didn't like the idea of strippers at his bachelor party."

Wolf made a quiet noise of derision in response to that. That fact didn't surprise him in the least bit.

"I tried explaining to him that, um... that the idea of him watching other women undress and having them g-get all up in his business... m-made me feel disrespected and gross." Bess made a dry laugh. "He didn't care. He was determined to get his strippers and who the hell was I to tell him what he couldn't and couldn't do for his bachelor party--his last night of freedom?" There was no mistaking the pain, anger, and betrayal in her own voice, even after all these years. Bess snorted at herself and buried her face in her hands. "I don't know why I'm still so upset about it. Moses, I'm so stupid!"

Wolf reached up and gently grabbed her wrists to pull her hands from her face. "No," he gently scolded. "Moonbeam, Darling, look at me." Her eyes came to his and he held her gaze as he shook his head. "No. We're not talking or thinking like that anymore, remember? We're going to feel what comes and acknowledge it, no matter how unreasonable it seems, yes?"

Bess sniffled and nodded. "Right. Because every emotion is valid," she repeated what their couple's counselor and told them many times. "Just not every action."

Wolf nodded. "So... did the rat bastard have his strippers?"

Bess scoffed and shrugged with a wry smirk. "Never made it that far. He wanted to celebrate his party the night right before our wedding. I'm sure he would've, though." Her voice dropped in a deeper register and took on a cartoonishly dim-witted drawl as was normal when she mocked and imitated her ex: "Like he was 'bout to be cheated outta his strippers."

Wolf chuckled at that, his gaze falling to their fingers as they absentmindedly played with each other, twining and untwining, playing out little battles of dominance. It was incredible how they just went together so easily--so naturally. It was something the billionaire had never suspected to have ever in his life. He wasn't about to let it go now. "Last night of freedom," he muttered, looking back up at Bess. "That's what Oliver called it?"

Bess nodded. "He made quite a point of it."

The man looked down at their entwined hands again, stilling his fingers to simply hold the woman he loved in the safety and security she deserved to have. How anyone could have ever treated her so harshly and cruelly as they had, he'd never understand. How Oliver Sprague had been able to two-time and betray her and not see the absolute blessing he had when he had her.... Perhaps it was a bit smug, but Wolf couldn't help but think that this is what was meant when the difference between boys and men was spoken of.

"Elizabeth Felicity Sullivan-Marley," he spoke after a moment, "my stag party would not be my "last night of freedom"." He looked up to find the eyes of his beloved focused completely on him and he smiled. "I haven't been a free man the moment you came into my life," he continued on. "And I certainly haven't been a free man since we became a couple." He brought her hands to his mouth again and kissed both of them with such sweet tenderness, Bess made that teary squeaky little whimper he loved to hear so much. Then he met her eyes again with all the sincerity in the world. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Bess' heart fluttered in the way only he could make it flutter. It wasn't the first time--she should have been more than used to it by now--but she still felt as giggly and mushy and freshly in love as she had since the first night they'd curled up in front of the woodstove kissing into the morning. (And then getting caught by George.) "Really?" she asked, slipping her bottom lip through her teeth. "You don't pine for the days of being a single man again? The freedom to do what you want when you want without regard for someone else?"

Wolf quirked up an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I ever really had that," he remarked with a smirk. He glanced at her hands again as she snickered and stroked his thumb over the little moonstone ring on her left hand. Never had a ring looked more natural or fetching on a woman. "No," he said, looking back to his fiancée. "I don't pine for a single moment where you wouldn't be in my life. Perhaps bachelorhood is freedom for other men... it was never that for me. With you... I've never felt more comfortable or free to be myself. When I'm with you, I feel secure to express myself in ways I previously thought I couldn't. What's more, I feel as though I actually have someone who cares about the things I say, think, feel, and do."

Bess smiled tenderly and reached up to stroke his cheek. "You do, my moonlight," she assured him. "I do care. I care about everything concerning you."

That did it. Overcome with emotion and acting purely on impulse, the man reached up to cup his mate's neck and pulled her in close until he could press his mouth to hers and kiss her soundly. He moved his lips in tandem with hers, a tingling warmth spreading throughout his body. Her smell and taste--even a bit salty with her tears--intoxicated him more than any alcohol ever could. If he jumped out the window of his top-floor flat, he was sure he would fly.

Finally, the pair broke the kiss, and Wolf brought his hand up to hold Bess' jaw. He traced his thumb over her rosy lips. His lips curled into a smile as the ethereal, luminescent beauty she always exuded shone tenfold as it always did when she was left enveloped in the haze of a kiss. "My most darling Bess," he whispered, voice husky, eyes soulful and dark, "being with you... that's my freedom."

Bess had no response to that other than to wrap her arms around the man's neck and kiss him deeply again. As he rose from the floor to stand, she wrapped her legs around his lithe waist and tangled her fingers into his hair, setting the silvery strands free from their horsetail. "Take me to bed, Ebenezar," she rasped against his lips. "Please."

The man had the cheek to smirk. "Are you going to strip for me, then?" he teased, biting his bottom lip in the way he knew Bess couldn't resist.

Bess gave him a saucy smile. "Just don't expect it for your stag, Handsome."

Wolf rumbled a growling chuckle and made his way toward the spiral stairs to the second floor. It seemed wedding planning would have to wait for the time being.

@rom-e-o @ray-painter @crimson-phantom-designs @purgratoriat @st0r-fruit @m0nsterwife @the-house-of-auditore-frye @oldmanlusting @christmasgaybusinessmen

#scrooge 2022 #netflix scrooge #scrooge a christmas carol #scrooge #fanfiction #scrooge x oc #ebeness #bess scrooge #sims 4 au #timeless scroogeverse #ebenezar scrooge #ebenezar x bess #engaged couple #idiots in love

[fuck-customers]

Long story short: My mom is SUCH a Karen, that she doesn't see it.

Okay, so ive been working at my boller store for a long time(almost hitting 10yrs), I live with my Mom now. The thing about my Mom, she watches 'Karen Payback' videos ALL. DAY. and literally daydreams about meeting a 'Karen' just to fight with them.

On my day off, we usually go and take a trip to my job to go and pick up some stuff, im cool with not only my coworkers but with the fast food workers at the surrounding store (they've been having shortages: napkins, ketchup, cleaning stuff, ex. I mostly help supply them in that depart.) So if we see each other, we'll stop and chat if we can.

Me and a buddy of mine that works at said FF place were in an aisle, talking about the horrible people we've meet this week and laughing. My Mother, dear fuckin lord, thinks we're shit talking about HER. We were talking about customers who call the store and expect you to 'shop' for them or get angry at US for them calling the wrong store.

This fuckin woman butts into our conversation and says 'We'll, if you'd just be doing your job, people wouldn't yell at you so much.' and the amount of PAIN between seeing my buddy be SO CONFUSED ABOUT WHERE THIS RANDOM WOMAN CAME FROM and the look of EMBARRASSMENT I HAD FROM MY MOTHER. All i could say was 'Welp, have a good day' and leave before my mom had a chance to finish buying her stuff.

I actively refuse to shop anywhere with her, Bc she'll ALWAYS find SOMETHING to try and argue with someone. Price tags, taxes, expiration dates, ANYTHING. Most of the stuff is literally out of anyone's control.

Pot meet Kettle. I'm in Hell.

[quietbluejay]

Know No Fear 4

uh oh it's reunion time ffvii remake is invading calth as well

like gene-father, like gene-son guilliman's bad decision making is inherited through the geneseed

this is about these two but it's also about guilliman

oh we're back to Thiel vs a cool daemon also thiel figured out that older weapons work better against daemons but he's worried if he tells people they'll just dismiss it as superstition

thiel and this other dude are going door to door killing daemons "every door, a new horror" also, huh, I am now wondering if this was deliberate every time i thought it was setting up for a character to die for sure, they would have died in a horror movie they survived the guy with the wife and the vet he's buddies with, Old Person, Ventanus actually getting reinforcements that weren't a trick

this is why people don't like you guys

sometimes, the dead aren't dead

guilliman's problem is that, when he gets like this there's no one on his level who is able to tell him to knock it off but yeah they really are all like this, huh oh boy time for a new guy also, reading this book first really gave me a skewed idea of what happened at Monarchia

is it crack???? is it crack that you all smoke????

or is this just them all trying desperately to justify it to themselves and internally rewriting what happened

they really are just all eternal teen boys

congratulations the bar was in hell and you actually managed to wiggle over it oh welp

they're still wiggling over the bar but they're wiggling a bit closer

ope look at that a direct consequence of breaking your code daemon time

bruh really??

oh so he realized he was lying to himself seeing this, she casually threw aside a large rock

get lorelei'd idiot owo more Thiel POV he's in spaaace space fights…alas he is outnumbered 8:1 honestly i would have rioted if Thiel had bit it

OH WAIT RANE DIDNT DIE??

I CANT BELIEVE IT also, Old Person is old he was at Verdun

and Old Person makes an improvised bayonet with a ritual knife from a dead enemy okay he's even older Austerlitz so a century back from wwi

THIS DUDE HAS THE BEST LUCK OF LITERALLY ANY BIT CHARACTER IN A HORROR NOVEL EVER he got lorelei'd TWICE and managed to come out of it

oh holy shit does Ventanus get lucky nothing is working and the only weapon he has is the Word Bearer's ritual knife aka one of the only things in this book we've seen that seems to kill daemons oh! back to Thiel! things aren't looking good

I need a Hero starts playing in the background

i know it was plot armour (and there's more to come) but this was a cool moment and i did NOT expect this

abnett please stop with the clunky prose

GIANT FACEPALM

ROB ROB

YOURE GONNA GET STABBED BY AN EVIL KNIFE starting a long and "proud" tradition

AAAAA this scene ;-;

;-; "for a second, Ventanus envies her loss"

annnd yep guilliman got bodied by someone below his power level time for evil knife

guilliman: you know if i had a nickel for every time i was in this position, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but you'd think I'd learn.

thiel had to deal with this twice except by the second time, he was friends with Guilliman

okay, this was just cheap so, Guilliman put his power claw through Kor Phaeron's chest at least ONE OF THEM should have died from this they both have plot armour also why didn't the knife work on guilliman??? it sure worked on Horus there should have been long term consequences GUILLIMAN LITERALLY TAKES KOR PHAERONS HEART OUT sigh anyways, Tawren gets to be cool how many orbital weapons is she controlling rn? yes she's the one who actually turns the tables and makes this not a valiant last stand with a bare remnant surviving

looks like team rocket's blasting off againnnnnn

so guilliman and thiel are now besties, at least

epilogue time!

stay classy, Ultramarines and thus the ultramarines became mortal enemies with the word bearers anyways, it's overall a good book, aside from the plot armour and some of the clunkiness of the prose (and the weird Perpetual stuff)

#warhammer 40k #bluejay reads warhammer