#so only posting leo (well and a little of charles) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crownofgildedlilies · 2 months

Text

beautiful things sneak peek (pt 1?)

so, I'm just too obsessed with my Leo x oc fic that I'm currently writing but I'm not ready to post it yet? even tho I have 45 parts written? (literally... im not ashamed to admit im a wattpad story girlie)

so! I've decided to post the first part of chapter one, because that might convince me to actually start posting it, fr.

it is an original character, not a reader insert, so be warned if it's not ur thing!

lmk what you think!

"MURPH!"

Even if Emery Murphy hadn't recognized the voice, she would have known who interrupted her solitary reading by the nickname alone. There was one person in all of Camp Half-Blood that called her Murph.

Well, only one person, since Charles had—

"You're so annoying, Jackson," Emery hummed without looking up from her book. There was a crease between her brows; a common sight as her dyslexic mind put most of her focus into sorting through the tangled mess of letters on the page. Percy liked to joke that she was a glutton for punishment, somehow finding enjoyment in reading and making complicated plans.

"What else are brothers good for?" Percy Jackson teased, dropping onto the sandy beach beside Emery's chair.

"I told you not to make me regret saying that," Emery huffed, not yet giving up on reading, though her eyes stopped scanning across the page at their uneven pace. Percy was the son of Poseidon, Emery was the daughter of Athena. They weren't really siblings—which probably was a good thing, considering he was dating her half-sister—but only a few months back she had told him that he was her brother and she had his back, no matter what.

Then she had thrown herself headfirst into a horde of monsters to protect him while he saved the world from the Titan king Kronos.

"I'm pretty sure you knew what you were getting yourself into. You've known me since we were twelve." He propped his elbows on his knees, fingers expertly finding a perfect shell buried in the sand before him. Emery watched him carefully from the corner of her sunglass covered eyes, her reading momentarily paused.

"Did you need something?" It wasn't that she didn't enjoy spending time with Percy, but it was rare that he was ever so far from Annabeth's side. Especially after he turned down godhood to be a demigod with her. "I'm pretty sure Annabeth had chores in the infirmary today."

"Nah," Percy hummed, sifting sand between his fingers. "I mean, yeah, she did. But I came to check up on you."

Emery sighed as she placed her bookmark between the pages. She should have been expecting this conversation, daughter of battle strategy, and all. But she had foolishly hoped he would have let her suffer in silence for just a little bit longer.

"Perce, we talked about this."

"Would you hate me if I said I didn't believe you?" He shot her a charming smile and she fired back her own flat look in return. "In all seriousness, Murph, I'm worried about you. You've been... distant. Since before Manhattan, even. And I know—"

"Listen," Emery interrupted the savior of the world. A frown tugged her lips downward, not quite a pout, the crease still between her brows. She knew Percy's concerns were valid—she had developed a habit of self-isolating herself from others, hadn't been eating as much or staying long at camp bonfires. But that didn't mean she was ready to hear what Percy had to say. "I've been at camp since, well, forever. Demigods tend to die early, and in nasty ways. That wasn't my first time watching people I care about get hurt."

"That doesn't mean you have to cope with it alone." Concern laced his words and he sat up a little taller. Even though Emery was in a chair, it was low to the sand, so he was almost eye level with her.

Not that she could get herself to meet his eye.

"You seem perfectly okay. Why can't I be, too?" Emery reasoned, propping an elbow on the arm of her chair and twisting so she faced her not-quite brother.

"I didn't know Beckendorf as well as you. No one did, except maybe Silena—"

And Silena died, too, leaving Emery alone to grieve the both of them.

"Charles died a hero. Isn't that what we all want to do?" Her voice was hard, turned to stone in the way it always did whenever someone brought up the boy. Another one of her not-quite brothers, except Charles Beckendorf had been her best friend, too, at camp. And even so many months after his death she still couldn't deny the ache in her chest whenever she thought of him.

"You know I'm just looking out for you, Murph." Percy's voice was quiet, working a like a wave washing over all her jagged edges and brick-wall defenses.

Murph. Charles had given her the nickname only a few days after he had arrived. A natural consequence of living at camp everyday for as long as she could remember, Emery had made it her business to know every half-blood that ever showed up on their doorstep. And Charles Beckendorf had taken her under his wing, the eager child she was, and shown her the forges and workshops built by the sons and daughters of Hephaestus.

And then Charles had died, in a move orchestrated by Luke Castellan, the golden boy of demigods, who was doing Kronos' bidding.

She was still working through the tangled knot of emotions. She couldn't figure it out, and she was supposed to be able to figure everything out. The more her frustration built, the easier it became to justify lashing out at Percy for just trying to help.

She sighed, guilt coiling low in her stomach.

"I know," Emery sighed, slumping lower in her chair. Suddenly, the sun beating on her skin was growing a little unbearable. Usually, Emery couldn't get warm enough. "You know, I know."

"I know you and your sister know everything," Percy taunted, and Emery huffed a pathetic, half-laugh. Maybe he had a point; what else were brothers good for, if not to annoy their sisters? "Mom still says you can come stay with us for the school year. Get out of camp for a little bit."

It wasn't enough for Percy to be savior of the world. He had to be one of the most genuine, caring guys out there. Emery hated him for it.

"Tell your mom I said thank you, again, but," She paused, forcing herself to focus on a spot in the distance, grateful that her sunglasses kept Percy from seeing the tears pooled in her eyes. "But I'm not ready to leave this place, yet."

Even if she had been there for so long, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle normal school.

"Offer still stands, if you change your mind." Percy stood to his feet, her nose scrunching in distaste as he wiped the sand off his shorts and onto her. "C'mon, sis. Lunch is starting soon, and Tyson almost flooded the cabin crying last night because you've been skipping out on hanging with us."

She knew Percy meant his words as a teasing joke, a total hyperbole, but Emery couldn't help the jolt of shame at hurting her friend—however indirectly. How rare was it that Tyson came to stay at camp, lately? She shouldn't have been hiding away, moping.

"Well," She sighed dramatically, taking Percy's outstretched hand and allowing him to pull her to her feet. "I can't disappoint my favorite son of Poseidon."

"Hey!"

a/n: no Leo in this part, but it's only part of ch 1! plenty of Leo to be had in the rest trust trust

#what do I tag this #beautiful things wp #<- yeah that sounds right #Leo Valdez x oc #teaser teaser!

5 notes · View notes

space-prophet · 2 years

Text

Hey since PJO was apparently one of the most talked about book series this year I wanted to make like a really simple post about an issue I've had with the series since I was a kid. Spoiler warning for up to the Trails of Apollo I think.

Rick Riordan sees very little power in any form of femininity and its pretty obvious. All of his female leads/supporting cast that are GOOD activly reject it and any girl who shows that side of themselves is activly demonized- ei Piper is the best in Aphrodite cabin bc somehow the goddess of love almost only gave birth to vindictive bitchy airheads who break hearts on purpose. Selena, the most feminine "good" character let's her emotions get the best of her and it kills both herself and the man she loves. Biancas sentimentality gets her killed. Zoe is kicked away from her family, Calypso and Echo are tragically abandoned time and time again, and characters like Gaia Circe and Medea are all feminine villians who seem to have no real personality aside from traits of either motherhood or suduction. Even Hera in the confines of the story is demonized worse then Zues and motherhood in general isn't something most of the characters can do even half competently. Annabeths step mom, Hazels mom, and the Grace's mom come to mind immediately. Leo, Frank, and Percy's moms are the only non-demonized motherly figures and they all sacrificed everything about themselves for thier children (this will come up later).

Femininity in the riordanverse is equated to helplessness, ficklness, and vanity when in reality thats...well that's just misogyny, baby. We're either lead to look at the feminine women in the story with contempt or pity.

We are never asked to sympathize with Hera, Demeter, Amphitrite, Aphrodite, Kihone, Gaia, or any of the other women on Olympus in the same way we are narrativly forced to pity Apollo Hermes or Posideon through the storys language and structure. The only goddesses we are not actively in contempt with seem to be Athena (who is a well written flawed character in her own right) and Artimes who just serves as a basic girl boss no boys allowed figure.

And once a girl is no longer needed for a storyline they get shafted HARD and either die or go solo in a "I need no man" form of feminism. Once Thalia is done threatening Percy's manhood and role in the prophecy she runs off with the hunters as to not get in the way, Rachel is turned into the oracle who can't date anyone so Percy doesn't have to make a decision, Reyna (my poor girl) also becomes a hunter for some fucking reason (I could go on about this but I wont), and Zoe, Hazel, Bianca, and Selena all die horribly as the cost of thier own mistakes- theres an implicit theme of female sacrifice for the greater good (most often the good of a male character) that's present here. Bianca dies for Nico, Hazel for Sammy, and Selena for the memory of Charles.

Of course there are really well written girls in PJO, but there is an overarching problem with the way "Strongly Written Female Character" alwsys seems to equate to "I'm not like other girls, so im strong" and the way that girls are activly written in a way that leaves them supporting and caring the burdens of their male costars. It's not entirely Rick's fault of course he's an old man I don't expect him to write 12 year old millennial girls with skill, but it is something that gets me about his work and has since I was that age myself. Sorry if this wasn't as coherent as I wanted it to be, It's late and I'm not going to proofread this bc it's PJOblr.

TERFS DNI 💖

#personal #pjo #idk man its just icksvill #catch me getting a martyr complex at like 10 because all my favorite girlies die horribly <3 #and the boys die with more dignity before anyone brings that yp #*up

32 notes · View notes

themultifandomgal · 2 years

Note

Could I please send in a request where the oc is married to Charles melton and they are doing an interview. Maybe the wired autocomplete interview? Can the oc be British and her name be Lea? thank you 😊

Charles Melton- Wired Interview

“Hello I’m Charlie’s Melton”

“And I’m Lea Melton”

“And we here to do the wired autocomplete interview. Do you want to go first?” Charles asks me

“Sure” Charles holds up the board for me and I take off the first paper strip “who is Lea Melton, well that’s me I’m Lea. I’m British and I’m currently playing Emily on Riverdale” I take off the next strip “who is Lea dating? why is this always asked? why do people want to know so badly” I laugh

“Im sure I’ll get that question as well. Well I’ll answer that question. Me, she’s dating me and we’re very happy”

“Well we’re a little more than just dating” I giggle holding up my hand that shows my engagement ring and now wedding ring“ok erm is Lea British? yes I am. We had a lot of fun when I first joined riverdale because no one knew what I was on about half the time”

“Still don’t now, only found out what a crumpet was a few years ago when we first visited your family” Charles says the word crumpet in his best English accent

“Why is it when ever some tries to do a British accent they always do the upper class posh voice. Why not a brummy accent or a scouse accent” Charles shrugs at my question

“Because they aren’t as well known also no one can understand what they’re saying

“Right ok. Erm is Lea Melton related to Charles Melton? I bloody hope not” I laugh looking at Charles who’s trying not to laugh

“Would be a little awkward wouldn’t it?”

“A bit?” I then take off the last strip “is Lea pregnant? no, and I don’t plan to be be for a while, I’m only 24”

“Is Lea vegan? no, but I should be. I’m vegetarian, but I struggle with large amounts of dairy and when I have to much I feel sick and have bad stomach pains”

“I tell her everyday not to eat cheese or have milk but I’m ignored, what do I know? we’ve only been together 4 years and living with each other 3 years”

“Shut up” I nudge Charles

“Is Lea Melton a dancer?”

“Yes, I actually trained in musical theatre and I used to do dance competitions. Where does Lea Melton live? erm we live in Vancouver for 9 months of the year while we film for riverdale. Then for the other 3 months we travel between my parents house and Charles’ parents house and we also make time for a holiday. So basically we live in Vancouver”

Next up is Charles’ turn

“What’s a fun fact about me?”

“You can do smeagols voice from lord of the rings, or stitch from Leo and stitch” I point out which makes Charles do those voices

“When did Charles Melton get married? we got married 4 months ago in Mexico then had our honeymoon at Disney World Florida”

“We might have to post a photo of the wedding now because I keep getting asked what my dress was like” I laugh

“How tall is Charles Melton? well Wikipedia says I’m 5 11, that’s not true. I’m 6 1/2 so I round up to 6 1”

“I’m only 5ft so I’m tiny compared to you. That’s why I’m always in heals”

“How did Lea and Charles meet? we met in 2016 while filming season 2 of riverdale, but we didn’t start dating until 2019”

“Just want to clarify that in 2019 I was 21 so it’s all legal and there’s only a 6 year age gab between us” I say wide eyed trying not to laugh

“You were 18 and I was 25 when we met though”

“But we weren’t dating so it was fine” I shrug making Charles smile

“Is Charles Melton vegetarian?”

“Do you think people are asking because I am?”

“Maybe, but no I’m not. I had a nice rump of steak before we came here today. I’ll have vegetarian meals with Lea every now and then, like if she’s making a vegetarian curry or a shepherds pie” Charles pulls another strip of paper “is Charles Melton leaving riverdale? no I’m not”

The interview ends and we leave the venue that we were doing the interview and going back to the hotel we are staying at to order room service and watch films together.

#charles melton #riverdale imagine #riverdale actor #reggie mantle #riverdale #charles melton x reader

47 notes · View notes

flickeringart · 2 years

Text

Astrology observations/notes pt. 5

With the moon in Sagittarius transiting my 5th house at the moment I thought an observation post would be appropriate. It's fun and light-hearted.

Don’t take this too seriously. It’s only my personal observations and opinions.

It probably has to do with my South Node in Pisces in the 8th - I’ve felt confused about life from the start and I feel it particularly strongly this time of year, of course. Everything is blurry and I feel victimized and weak but at the same time I feel like nothing is ultimately real and is only happening in my head so I don’t know what to take seriously and what to laugh at… which is quite disturbing because that means that it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do. It’s all equally real and unreal anyway.

Since I have a Pisces South Node I’m very anchored Piscean energy and I can’t help but laugh internally at people who have their North Node in Pisces sometimes… with a Virgo South Node they’re coming from a place of practical analysis while trying to reach toward ”more spiritual” and receptive qualities but they’re so out of touch with that side of life it’s hilarious to me.

I have to say - oppositions are scary to me. It’s true that they indicate extreme polarities in the personality and it’s hard to deal with for other people… of course, the degree to which it’s scary depends on the planets involved but my god… these people are switchy!

I looked at the chart of Prince William recently and I saw Lilith in Sagittarius on the Ascendant. It makes complete sense… he looks so flirty and naughty haha… it’s that Lilith look that’s unmistakable. His wife, Kate, also has Lilith in Sagittarius, although with her is not as obvious since she has it in her 5th house (whole signs). They probably have a lot of fun together.

Right?

Neptune conjunct Mars individuals are usually very attuned to the environment and pick up on the most subtle cues… they can get under people’s skin because Neptune is the planet of no boundaries… the passive aggressiveness and subtle undermining that can take place can be terrifying. However, I should say that these types can be great leaders and counsellors because they can easily draw out the truth in a way that doesn’t seem forceful (although it may be). Napoleon had this conjunction. So did Charles Manson.

With Leo energy there’s a tendency to want to see how important one is and how big of a role one can play in life… and it’s never enough. Being king of the world wouldn’t suffice for Leos because this sign is not about being recognized as important in a worldly sense - it’s about finding the center of selfhood, to live from the inside out, to radiate energy and warmth from within no matter if one lives in a hut or in a castle. Kingship is found within. The castle, the riches and the abundance don’t make the king - it’s the inner quality that does.

Capricorns… I’m scared of the things you’ll do in the name of preserving integrity and to remain in control… Some (all) of you hide behind a submissive front and seem harmless at first but once you’ve made the other person let their guard down, you strike. Sometimes it’s not even obvious to the person what you’ve done because you’re so subtle. Other times it’s very obvious, but it’s too late - you’ve disarmed them. I’m growing tired of being this way with Caps… wah! Though I guess everyone has some of these traits… It’s always ”kill or be killed” like the reputation of the 22°degree that’s ruled by Capricorn *sigh*.

Virgo Risings have a very calming effect on me. They often look shy and kind. I always get the impression that they mean well in everything that they do.

Scorpio Risings have Aries ruling the the 6th house (usually)… they get things done fast! So fast! Meanwhile I’m slowly cruising with my Capricorn ruled 6th house and Neptune here… I’m zoning out, moving slowly, doing a little bit of this and that as it comes to me - strategic but blurry is my way of being when dealing with daily matters. This feels so weird to me because I have 4 planets in Aries… just not in the 6th hahahaaaa… I feel so inferior in this sphere of life but at least I’m calm and serene.

Aquarians have realized that people are stupid and that makes them smart.

Aquarians have the attitude ”I can let them be who they are because I’m above it all - the senseless mess and stupidity of human existence…it is what it is”.

There’s such a big difference between Aquarius Sun people who have Capricorn Mercury vs. Aquarius Mercury placements. The Capricorn Mercuries can sound so serious and strained in their voices, like they’re greeting you with a ”welcome to the business meeting” tone. The people with Aquarius Mercury are much freer in their communication.

Scorpios have such amazing capacity for complete devotion and passion but there’s fear of being consumed by it. All of the energy that they keep buried has to be released sooner or later… and then they can become cruel because they resent being victim to larger forces of human nature - they will use the pent up energy for attack rather than letting the energy fester and kill something inside of them. Again, it’s a question of ”kill or be killed”, but it’s not the same as Capricorn’s capacity for ruthlessness. Scorpios simply have to strike because they have accumulated so much emotion. They might end up making it worse for themselves because they are very sensitive and compassionate. They will attack - question is whether they will attack themselves or someone else. Either way it’s really a lose-lose scenario from the point of view of the individual.

Leo Moons, unless they’re sufficiently counteracted by other chart placements, can’t help but dramatize everything. The women, especially, could probably make a living as professional criers at funerals. I have seen this play out - they don’t have to be close to the dead person to be the ones too cry the most. ”No one understands my feelings”… well maybe not because they’re so big and exaggerated and it makes no sense to draw all of the attention to yourself at another person’s funeral. Oh well, it’s the way of Leo. Life is a show. (To be fair they both had Moon aspecting Neptune).

---

Find the whole post on Patreon - by subscribing you'll have access to a lot of content that I don't share on Tumblr.

266 notes · View notes

pseudofaux · 2 years

Note

would you like to do some more spicy dream hcs for ikevam?any character is fine :)

I WOULD. :D Thank you so much for asking for more of these! Last time I did Comte, Dazai, and Mozart hearing their MC having a spicy dream next to them. This time let's do... Theo, Leo, and Charles-Henri.. eo. Please enjoy!

(Requests are closed, I am trying to finish up outstanding ones ASAP. Seven left after this! I'll post a masterlist when they are all done.)

He'll tease her when she wakes up, but until then he's content to. Well. Tease her.

You know you don’t get to get to have all the fun, sognatrice…

“Tell me everything,” he whispers brightly. “Everything you remember about your dream just now. Don’t you dare leave anything out.”

Theo is so attuned to her that her first shift in sleep opens his eyes. He closes them easily enough, but tucked close as they are to one another (big snuggle couple), he feels and hears every other way her body reveals what kind of dream she's having. Soft whimpers and whines are too obviously the sounds she makes during sex, and Theo's not usually one to take this kind of liberty... but he's also not one to deny they're literally sleeping in each other's arms because they're together and in love. He'll tease her when she wakes up, but until then he's content to. Well. Tease her. He'll gladly slide his hands down her back to her ass and pull her closer, and he will rock right back against her. If he ends up whimpering or whining from the way it feels to have his woman against him, oh well. Her fault. Theo won't be able to wait long, he'll kiss her or pinch her awake after a couple minutes. And then if she really needs it, he'll gently raise one of her legs so he can press inside, slow and full. He loves the idea of sleepy sex (because he likes her that domesticated and content). But in the morning he’ll be telling anyone who will listen that SOMEONE wouldn’t let him REST last night…

Leo laughs (beautiful bastard) when he realizes what kind of dream she must be having, and plans to leave her alone. He probably touches her cheek and mutters fondly that he'll let her sleep it off. But when her hand slides inward from her hip, he's not about to leave that alone. He’s on that wrist in a possessive flash. He won't be so careful when he tugs the hand to his mouth that there’s no way the movement will wake her, but if she stays asleep... he might nibble her palm, or maybe breathe all over her collarbone and throat, warming her and taking in the scent of her skin. He loves the way her body is present in his breath as it comes back into his body. If he truly thinks she’s still (somehow!) asleep, Leo will prop himself up over her and keep her in place with his hips on hers, gently but immovably pinning her to the bed since she’s so determined to keep dreaming. You know you don’t get to get to have all the fun, sognatrice… He will only move when he’s ready to touch himself, and then he’ll get off easily as he grins over her, dark and pleased over his sleeping beauty.

And then he’ll slide down slow, so all his mess moves with him as his mouth goes between her legs. There, Leo will pull out all the stops to wake her up: lips and tongue, and of course those deep rumbling murmurs she won’t be able to help but feel once he’s got her as sensitive as she made him.

Charles knows something is about to happen to her before it actually does. Her smell changes and her body tenses a little, like when she’s about to sneeze, but... not. He is across the room, working on something as she dozes late at night, but of course he’s conscious of her every breath, and the way soft sounds leak into a few of them. He goes to her on silent feet, curious how much of this he’ll be able to observe without waking her (she is delightful when awake, but so full of movement and she looks away so often). When he kneels by her chair, he is delighted by the gentle but unmistakable scent of her arousal, and he has to ball his hands into fists to keep from touching her. He’s so torn, because of course he wants to wake her-- he suspects she would be needy or at least extremely receptive, which he loves-- but he sees this for the opportunity it is to watch her as closely as he wants without making her fidget, for once. He settles for hovering his hands over her thighs, and his nose in front of her belly, and bites his lip to keep his own soft sound from escaping.

When her hips make an innocent but indecent roll in the chair, he can’t take it any more. He nearly tears her skirt trying to get it up and out of the way, and wakes her up with an eager kiss and the strength of his arms lifting her out of the chair and then settling her back down... onto his lap.

“Tell me everything,” he whispers brightly. “Everything you remember about your dream just now. Don’t you dare leave anything out.”

Perhaps he pulls a little more out of her than she actually dreamed. But he makes it up to her by making true the dreams she does confess.

#pseu slings #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp HCs #ikevamp theo #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp charles #ikevam headcanons #ikevam HCs

80 notes · View notes

incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years

Note

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success.

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously.

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling.

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach.

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future.

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview.

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #i hope this was helpful!#i had too much fun writing it jkahlgkjhgdf i love meta #but thank you for submitting <33333 #oh discount vampire sasuke uchiha we really in it now #rambles #not incorrect quotes

104 notes · View notes

nellygwyn · 4 years

Text

BOOK RECS

Okay, so lots of people wanted this and so, I am compiling a list of my favourite books (both fiction and non-fiction), books that I recommend you read as soon as humanly possible. In the meantime, I’ll be pinning this post to the top of my blog (once I work out how to do that lmao) so it will be accessible for old and new followers. I’m going to order this list thematically, I think, just to keep everything tidy and orderly. Of course, a lot of this list will consist of historical fiction and historical non-fiction because that’s what I read primarily and thus, that’s where my bias is, but I promise to try and spice it up just a little bit.

Favourite fiction books of all time:

The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock // Imogen Hermes Gowar

Sense and Sensibility // Jane Austen

Slammerkin // Emma Donoghue

Remarkable Creatures // Tracy Chevalier

Life Mask // Emma Donoghue

His Dark Materials // Philip Pullman (this includes the follow-up series The Book of Dust)

Emma // Jane Austen

The Miniaturist // Jessie Burton

Girl, Woman, Other // Bernadine Evaristo

Jane Eyre // Charlotte Brontë

Persuasion // Jane Austen

Girl with a Pearl Earring // Tracy Chevalier

The Silent Companions // Laura Purcell

Tess of the d’Urbervilles // Thomas Hardy

Northanger Abbey // Jane Austen

The Chronicles of Narnia // C.S. Lewis

Pride and Prejudice // Jane Austen

Goodnight, Mr Tom // Michelle Magorian

The French Lieutenant’s Woman // John Fowles

The Butcher’s Hook // Janet Ellis

Mansfield Park // Jane Austen

The All Souls Trilogy // Deborah Harkness

The Railway Children // Edith Nesbit

Favourite non-fiction books of all time

Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman // Robert Massie

Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King // Antonia Fraser

Madame de Pompadour // Nancy Mitford

The First Iron Lady: A Life of Caroline of Ansbach // Matthew Dennison

Black and British: A Forgotten History // David Olusoga

Courtiers: The Secret History of the Georgian Court // Lucy Worsley

Young and Damned and Fair: The Life of Katherine Howard, the Fifth Wife of Henry VIII // Gareth Russell

King Charles II // Antonia Fraser

Casanova’s Women // Judith Summers

Marie Antoinette: The Journey // Antonia Fraser

Mrs. Jordan’s Profession: The Story of a Great Actress and a Future King // Claire Tomalin

Jane Austen at Home // Lucy Worsley

Mudlarking: Lost and Found on the River Thames // Lara Maiklem

The Last Royal Rebel: The Life and Death of James, Duke of Monmouth // Anna Keay

The Marlboroughs: John and Sarah Churchill // Christopher Hibbert

Nell Gwynn: A Biography // Charles Beauclerk

Jurassic Mary: Mary Anning and the Primeval Monsters // Patricia Pierce

Georgian London: Into the Streets // Lucy Inglis

The Prince Who Would Be King: The Life and Death of Henry Stuart // Sarah Fraser

Wedlock: How Georgian Britain’s Worst Husband Met His Match // Wendy Moore

Dead Famous: An Unexpected History of Celebrity from the Stone Age to the Silver Screen // Greg Jenner

Victorians Undone: Tales of the Flesh in the Age of Decorum // Kathryn Hughes

Crown of Blood: The Deadly Inheritance of Lady Jane Grey // Nicola Tallis

Favourite books about the history of sex and/or sex work

The Origins of Sex: A History of First Sexual Revolution // Faramerz Dabhoiwala

Erotic Exchanges: The World of Elite Prostitution in Eighteenth-Century Paris // Nina Kushner

Peg Plunkett: Memoirs of a Whore // Julie Peakman

Courtesans // Katie Hickman

The Other Victorians: A Study of Sexuality and Pornography in mid-Nineteenth Century England

Madams, Bawds, and Brothel Keepers // Fergus Linnane

The Secret History of Georgian London: How the Wages of Sin Shaped the Capital // Dan Cruickshank

A Curious History of Sex // Kate Lister

Sex and Punishment: 4000 Years of Judging Desire // Eric Berkowitz

Queen of the Courtesans: Fanny Murray // Barbara White

Rent Boys: A History from Ancient Times to Present // Michael Hone

Celeste // Roland Perry

Sex and the Gender Revolution // Randolph Trumbach

The Pleasure’s All Mine: A History of Perverse Sex // Julie Peakman

LGBT+ fiction I love*

The Confessions of the Fox // Jordy Rosenberg

As Meat Loves Salt // Maria Mccann

Bone China // Laura Purcell

Brideshead Revisited // Evelyn Waugh

The Confessions of Frannie Langton // Sara Collins

The Intoxicating Mr Lavelle // Neil Blackmore

Orlando // Virginia Woolf

Tipping the Velvet // Sarah Waters

She Rises // Kate Worsley

The Mercies // Kiran Millwood Hargrave

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit // Jeanette Winterson

Maurice // E.M Forster

Frankisstein: A Love Story // Jeanette Winterson

If I Was Your Girl // Meredith Russo

The Well of Loneliness // Radclyffe Hall

* fyi, Life Mask and Girl, Woman, Other are also LGBT+ fiction

Classics I haven’t already mentioned (including children’s classics)

Far From the Madding Crowd // Thomas Hardy

I Capture the Castle // Dodie Smith

Vanity Fair // William Makepeace Thackeray

Wuthering Heights // Emily Brontë

The Blazing World // Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle

Murder on the Orient Express // Agatha Christie

Great Expectations // Charles Dickens

North and South // Elizabeth Gaskell

Evelina // Frances Burney

Death on the Nile // Agatha Christie

The Monk // Matthew Lewis

Frankenstein // Mary Shelley

Vilette // Charlotte Brontë

The Mayor of Casterbridge // Thomas Hardy

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall // Anne Brontë

Vile Bodies // Evelyn Waugh

Beloved // Toni Morrison

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd // Agatha Christie

The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling // Henry Fielding

A Room With a View // E.M. Forster

Silas Marner // George Eliot

Jude the Obscure // Thomas Hardy

My Man Jeeves // P.G. Wodehouse

Lady Audley’s Secret // Mary Elizabeth Braddon

Middlemarch // George Eliot

Little Women // Louisa May Alcott

Children of the New Forest // Frederick Marryat

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings // Maya Angelou

Rebecca // Daphne du Maurier

Alice in Wonderland // Lewis Carroll

The Wind in the Willows // Kenneth Grahame

Anna Karenina // Leo Tolstoy

Howard’s End // E.M. Forster

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 // Sue Townsend

Even more fiction recommendations

The Darling Strumpet // Gillian Bagwell

The Wolf Hall trilogy // Hilary Mantel

The Illumination of Ursula Flight // Anne-Marie Crowhurst

Queenie // Candace Carty-Williams

Forever Amber // Kathleen Winsor

The Corset // Laura Purcell

Love in Colour // Bolu Babalola

Artemisia // Alexandra Lapierre

Blackberry and Wild Rose // Sonia Velton

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories // Angela Carter

The Languedoc trilogy // Kate Mosse

Longbourn // Jo Baker

A Skinful of Shadows // Frances Hardinge

The Black Moth // Georgette Heyer

The Far Pavilions // M.M Kaye

The Essex Serpent // Sarah Perry

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo // Taylor Jenkins Reid

Cavalier Queen // Fiona Mountain

The Winter Palace // Eva Stachniak

Friday’s Child // Georgette Heyer

Falling Angels // Tracy Chevalier

Little // Edward Carey

Chocolat // Joanne Harris

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street // Natasha Pulley

My Sister, the Serial Killer // Oyinkan Braithwaite

The Convenient Marriage // Georgette Heyer

Katie Mulholland // Catherine Cookson

Restoration // Rose Tremain

Meat Market // Juno Dawson

Lady on the Coin // Margaret Campbell Bowes

In the Company of the Courtesan // Sarah Dunant

The Crimson Petal and the White // Michel Faber

A Place of Greater Safety // Hilary Mantel

The Little Shop of Found Things // Paula Brackston

The Improbability of Love // Hannah Rothschild

The Murder Most Unladylike series // Robin Stevens

Dark Angels // Karleen Koen

The Words in My Hand // Guinevere Glasfurd

Time’s Convert // Deborah Harkness

The Collector // John Fowles

Vivaldi’s Virgins // Barbara Quick

The Foundling // Stacey Halls

The Phantom Tree // Nicola Cornick

The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle // Stuart Turton

Golden Hill // Francis Spufford

Assorted non-fiction not yet mentioned

The Dinosaur Hunters: A True Story of Scientific Rivalry and the Discovery of the Prehistoric World // Deborah Cadbury

The Beauty and the Terror: An Alternative History to the Italian Renaissance // Catherine Fletcher

All the King's Women: Love, Sex, and Politics in the life of Charles II // Derek Jackson

Mozart’s Women // Jane Glover

Scandalous Liaisons: Charles II and His Court // R.E. Pritchard

Matilda: Queen, Empress, Warrior // Catherine Hanley

Black Tudors // Miranda Kaufman

To Catch a King: Charles II's Great Escape // Charles Spencer

1666: Plague, War and Hellfire // Rebecca Rideal

Henrietta Maria: Charles I's Indomitable Queen // Alison Plowden

Catherine of Braganza: Charles II's Restoration Queen // Sarah-Beth Watkins

Four Sisters: The Lost Lives of the Romanov Grand Duchesses // Helen Rappaport

Aristocrats: Caroline, Emily, Louisa and Sarah Lennox, 1740-1832 // Stella Tillyard

The Fortunes of Francis Barber: The True Story of the Jamaican Slave who Became Samuel Johnson’s Heir // Michael Bundock

Black London: Life Before Emancipation // Gretchen Gerzina

In These Times: Living in Britain Through Napoleon’s Wars, 1793-1815

The King’s Mistress: Scandal, Intrigue and the True Story of the Woman who Stole the Heart of George I // Claudia Gold

Perdita: The Life of Mary Robinson // Paula Byrne

The Gentleman’s Daughter: Women’s Lives in Georgian England // Amanda Vickery

Terms and Conditions: Life in Girls’ Boarding School, 1939-1979 // Ysenda Maxtone Graham

Fanny Burney: A Biography // Claire Harman

Aphra Behn: A Secret Life // Janet Todd

The Imperial Harem: Women and the Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire // Leslie Peirce

The Fall of the House of Byron // Emily Brand

The Favourite: Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough // Ophelia Field

Night-Walking: A Nocturnal History of London // Matthew Beaumont, Will Self

Jane Austen: A Life // Claire Tomalin

Beloved Emma: The Life of Emma, Lady Hamilton // Flora Fraser

Sentimental Murder: Love and Madness in the 18th Century // John Brewer

Henrietta Howard: King’s Mistress, Queen’s Servant // Tracy Borman

City of Beasts: How Animals Shaped Georgian London // Tom Almeroth-Williams

Queen Anne: The Politics of Passion // Anne Somerset

Charlotte Brontë: A Life // Claire Harman

Goddess: The Secret Lives of Marilyn Monroe // Anthony Summers

Queer City: Gay London from the Romans to the Present Day // Peter Ackroyd

Elizabeth I and Her Circle // Susan Doran

African Europeans: An Untold History // Olivette Otele

Young Romantics: The Shelleys, Byron, and Other Tangled Lives // Daisy Hay

How to Create the Perfect Wife // Wendy Moore

The Sphinx: The Life of Gladys Deacon, Duchess of Marlborough // Hugo Vickers

The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn // Eric Ives

Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy // Barbara Ehrenreich

A is for Arsenic: The Poisons of Agatha Christie // Kathryn Harkup

Mistresses: Sex and Scandal at the Court of Charles II // Linda Porter

Female Husbands: A Trans History // Jen Manion

Ladies in Waiting: From the Tudors to the Present Day // Anne Somerset

Ghostland: In Search of a Haunted Country // Edward Parnell

A Cheesemonger’s History of the British Isles // Ned Palmer

The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister’s Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine // Lindsey Fitzharris

Medieval Woman: Village Life in the Middle Ages // Ann Baer

The Husband Hunters: Social Climbing in London and New York // Anne de Courcy

The Voices of Nîmes: Women, Sex, and Marriage in Reformation Languedoc // Suzannah Lipscomb

The Daughters of the Winter Queen // Nancy Goldstone

Mad and Bad: Real Heroines of the Regency // Bea Koch

Bess of Hardwick // Mary S. Lovell

The Royal Art of Poison // Eleanor Herman

The Strangest Family: The Private Lives of George III, Queen Charlotte, and the Hanoverians // Janice Hadlow

Palaces of Pleasure: From Music Halls to the Seaside to Football; How the Victorians Invented Mass Entertainment // Lee Jackson

Favourite books about current social/political issues (?? for lack of a better term)

Feminism, Interrupted: Disrupting Power // Lola Olufemi

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Worker Rights // Molly Smith, Juno Mac

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race // Reni Eddo-Lodge

Trans Britain: Our Journey from the Shadows // Christine Burns

Me, Not You: The Trouble with Mainstream Feminism // Alison Phipps

Trans Like Me: A Journey For All Of Us // C.N Lester

Brit(Ish): On Race, Identity, and Belonging // Afua Hirsch

The Brutish Museums: The Benin Bronzes, Colonial Violence, and Cultural Restitution // Dan Hicks

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living // Jes M. Baker

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women White Feminists Forgot // Mikki Kendall

Denial: Holocaust History on Trial // Deborah Lipstadt

Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape // Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman

Don’t Touch My Hair // Emma Dabiri

Sister Outsider // Audre Lorde

Unicorn: The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen // Amrou Al-Kadhi

Trans Power // Juno Roche

Breathe: A Letter to My Sons // Imani Perry

The Windrush Betrayal: Exposing the Hostile Environment // Amelia Gentleman

Happy Fat: Taking Up Space in a World That Wants to Shrink You // Sofie Hagen

Diaries, memoirs & letters

The Diary of a Young Girl // Anne Frank

Renia’s Diary: A Young Girl’s Life in the Shadow of the Holocaust // Renia Spiegel

Writing Home // Alan Bennett

The Diary of Samuel Pepys // Samuel Pepys

Histoire de Ma Vie // Giacomo Casanova

Toast: The Story of a Boy’s Hunger // Nigel Slater

London Journal, 1762-1763 // James Boswell

The Diary of a Bookseller // Shaun Blythell

Jane Austen’s Letters // edited by Deidre la Faye

H is for Hawk // Helen Mcdonald

The Salt Path // Raynor Winn

The Glitter and the Gold // Consuelo Vanderbilt, Duchess of Marlborough

Journals and Letters // Fanny Burney

Educated // Tara Westover

Bookworm: A Memoir of Childhood Reading // Lucy Mangan

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? // Jeanette Winterson

A Dutiful Boy // Mohsin Zaidi

Secrets and Lies: The Trials of Christine Keeler // Christine Keeler

800 Years of Women’s Letters // edited by Olga Kenyon

Istanbul // Orhan Pamuk

Henry and June // Anaïs Nin

Historical romance (this is a short list because I’m still fairly new to this genre)

The Bridgerton series // Julia Quinn

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover // Sarah Mclean

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake // Sarah Mclean

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics // Olivia Waite

That Could Be Enough // Alyssa Cole

Unveiled // Courtney Milan

The Craft of Love // EE Ottoman

The Maiden Lane series // Elizabeth Hoyt

An Extraordinary Union // Alyssa Cole

Slightly Dangerous // Mary Balogh

Dangerous Alliance: An Austentacious Romance // Jennieke Cohen

A Fashionable Indulgence // KJ Charles

#the only categories not on here are plays and poetry #just bc this post would be even longer!#you can ask me for my favourite playwrights/poets separately tho

175 notes · View notes

reallifesultanas · 3 years

Text

Non real life sultanas

A little Christmas surprise post comes. One of my most popular videos on Youtube was the one, where I gathered non-historical characters, explaining how fictional or how historical they were, and if there was a real historical person behind them as an inspirer. Now, for Christmas, I would like to summarize for you the main fictional characters of the Muhteşem Yüzyil series.

Several fictional characters were present in the Muhteşem Yüzyil series, many from the very first minutes. The presence of some fictional characters was forgivable, as we were left with very little detailed information about the harem of Sultan Suleiman I. Thus, for example, the characters of Sümbül Agha, Gül Agha, Mercan Agha, and other eunuchs, although not portraying historical characters, were necessary for the dramaturgy of the series. Sümbül's character was the most important among the eunuchs and perhaps this is why many of us may think that Hürrem actually had such a close friend in the person of the chief eunuch. However, this is not true. During Suleiman's reign, many chief eunuchs took turns, and none of them were known to be particularly close to Hürrem. Of Hürrem's close servants, only one is known by name, a woman named Nevbahar. The characters of Nigar Kalfa, Gülsah Hatun, Fidan Hatun, Daye Hatun, Fahriye Kalfa were similar to Sümbül. None of them were historical, but surely every sultana had their own trusted servants, as they showed in the series. Like the eunuchs and kalfas, the concubines of Prince Mustafa and Prince Bayezid, Ayşe, Rana, Defne or Rumeysa Hatun, can also be considered forgivable fictional characters. We do not know anything about the harem of the two princes as neither of them had a major consort and as their children were born from different women.

However, there were also characters who were written into the story just for the sake of the drama. Which of these characters was acceptable is up to everyone and feel free to write your opinion about them in a comment here or on another platform! So here's the long-awaited list:

Sadika Hatun

Sadika was a Hungarian woman in the series whose husband was killed by Sultan Suleiman on the day of their wedding. Sadika then became the spy of the Hungarian king, Lajos II and she traveled to Istanbul to personally avenge her husband’s death. Matrakci Nasuh Efendi then, by chance, meets the girl and helps her get into the harem, where she immediately joins Ayşe Hafsa Valide Sultan's service and then becomes Hatice Sultan’s chief servant. During her job, of course, she gets close to Suleiman's bed several times, and then she had the opportunity to attack the sultan. However, she does not succeed, Suleiman survives, and Sadika is thrown in the Bosphorus.

In reality, this story would not be possible at all. Even if we assumed that Sadika really existed and Suleiman actually killed her husband, she would not have been able to get into the Sultan's harem and take revenge. On the one hand, Sadika was already a married woman, an adult woman. Such women could not enter the harem, only virgin, child girls could become the sultan's later concubines. However, even if Sadika had somehow been able to get in the harem, a long education would have awaited her before she could join the Valide Sultan's service. While there may have been some exceptional cases where older or non-virgin women wanted to be gifted to the Sultan, these are special cases. Such was the case, for example, when Hayreddin Barbarossa wanted to kidnap the beautiful Giulia Gonzaga, a widowed Italian noblewoman known far and wide, to send her to the Sultan's harem as a gift. In the end, he didn’t succeed, but even if he did, we don’t know if the sultan would had ever taken the woman to his bed.

Leo

In the series, he was the love of Hürrem from their youth. Leo came to Istanbul with the goal of finding her former sweetheart. Leo is a talented artist who, with the help of Nasuh Efendi (ahh Nasuh brought all the good people near to the Sultan…) will become the painter of Sultan Suleiman and Pargali Ibrahim. His former relationship with Hürrem will soon be revealed to Pargali Ibrahim, who is thus trying to blackmail Hürrem. Hürrem repeatedly begs Leo to leave the capital, but the man remains, which eventually leads to his death.

In reality, Hürrem - and all the other concubines - were taken into Ottoman captivity as little girls, so it is out of the question that they would have had a love or a fiance. And even if they had, they could never have found them. Nasuh Efendi, though one of the greatest suckers in the series - yet the dearest character - was not like that in reality at all, but he was a wonderful scholar who, by the way, was not so closely friends with either Sultan Suleiman or Pargali Ibrahim.

Princess Isabella

Princess Isabella Fortuna was a Spanish noble lady in the series who was on a ship to her future husband, the Austrian prince, when she was captured by Ottoman pirates and was taken to Istanbul to Sultan Suleiman. At first, Suleiman was only interested in the princess for political reasons, but later he fell in love. Princess Isabella initially resisted Suleiman's approach with all her cartilage, but over time she fell in love with the sultan and became his lover. This, of course, Hürrem could not stand and did everything she could to get rid of the princess who was eventually sent home by Suleiman himself.

In reality, of course, such a situation would have been unthinkable. Even assuming that Isabella existed and was captured by pirates, no princess raised in the Catholic faith would have voluntarily become the concubine of a Muslim sultan, she would have committed suicide instead. Let us not forget that Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem from the 1520s onwards, so in reality there was not a single woman who could make hard time for Hürrem during her decades-long relationship with Suleiman. Isabella Fortuna, on the other hand, never existed. Surprisingly, however, they could have patterned her from a real character. There was an Isabella of Castile in this period who was born in 1518 as the child of the widowed Queen of Aragon, Germaine of Foix and Charles V, but she was never captured by Ottoman pirates and was never the bride of the Austrian prince. Isabella's existence was kept secret by her parents all her life, only her mother's testament revealed that she ever existed. It is also known from there that Isabella died young in 1537.

Aybige Hatun

In the series, Aybige was the niece of Ayşe Hafsa, and so the daughter of the Crimean Sahib Giray khan. Aybige originally only came to visit her aunt in Istanbul, but later Hafsa Sultan wanted to see her as the wife of her favorite grandson, Prince Mustafa. However, Aybige was in love with Bali Bey and Mustafa longed for someone else aksi. Bali Bey was eventually almost executed for their love, and Aybige returned to Crimea with her father in the end.

Aybige’s storyline makes mistakes at almost every point. First, Ayşe Hafsa was never the sister of the Crimean khan, so the daughter of the Crimean khan could not have been her niece either. In addition, although Sahib Giray Khan had several daughters, none were called Aybige and none of his daughters ever traveled to Istanbul. The only true point in the whole storyline is that Sahib Giray Khan really collaborated with Sultan Suleiman in his Moldovan war. It is also important to mention Bali Bey at this point. Although Bali Bey was a real historical figure, there is not the slightest match between historical Bali Bey and the series Bali Bey. The real Bali Bey was not a romantic guy who fell in love with every second woman. Bali Bey was a cruel warlord. And if it comes to Bali Bey, let’s say a few words about Prince Mustafa as well. The idea of wanting to marry Mustafa to a khan’s daughter is completely absurd! Since the reign of Sultan Mehmed II, princes have been forbidden to marry anyone, so Prince Mustafa has not been allowed to marry anyone either. And the fact that Suleiman would have supported the idea - even if such a marriage had been able to occurre at all - is an even greater absurdity. Suleiman did not want Mustafa as his heir, so he would never have given him as much power as the support of the Crimean khan.

Firuze Hatun

In the series, Firuze was a Persian spy who, with her amazing abilities, was able to heal the pains of the sick Prince Cihangir, earning the love of Hürrem Sultan. Firuze, however, thanked Hürrem kindness in a disgusting way, and became Suleiman's secret lover, whom the sultan fell in love with. In the end, Hürrem was only able to overcome Firuzen with a little, Firuze was eventually exiled from the palace so she could return to Persia.

In reality, Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem, living in a monogamous relationship with her. Even if there was an occasional one-night-stands, Suleiman never fell in love with another woman, only Hürrem. Thus, the Firuze storyline has already failed here. The fact that there was a Persian spy in the harem would have been an interesting suggestion though. There were certainly spies in the royal court of every empire, but they were probably not hiding among the concubines. Eunuchs, for example, moved with much greater freedom, were much better candidates for being a spy…

Huricihan Sultan

In the series, Huricihan was the daughter of Ibrahim Pasha and Hatice Sultan, who grew up in the palace of Beyhan Sultan after the death of her parents. From there she returned to Istanbul, where she fell in love with her first cousin, Prince Bayezid. Their love became a relationship and then marriage without the Sultan’s permission. Huricihan became the head of Bayezid's harem and soon her relationship with Hürrem and Suleiman slowly became better. Huricihan's end eventually was brought by Prince Selim's concubine, Nurbanu, who knocked her out in the heat of a dispute, killing her.

In reality, Hatice and Ibrahim Pasha were never married, so they didn't have children either together, so Huricihan never existed. If she had existed, for the reasons already mentioned, it would have been utterly inconceivable for Bayezid to marry her, either secretly or openly. Especially knowing that Bayezid had never had a favourite singled out concubine, as all of his children were born to different women. With a background like this, it’s unlikely he’d ever wanted to marry anyone. Although Hatice Sultan did indeed have a daughter, she was born between 1510 and 1515, so she was well ahead of Bayezid in age, and of course she had nothing to do with the prince and was not even called Huricihan.

Mihrünissa Hatun

In the series, Mihrünissa was the daughter of Hayreddin Barbarossa the Head of the Fleet, whom her father sent to Prince Mustafa as a consultant. Later, the two young person fell in love with each other and married without the Sultan's knowledge. In time, Mihrünissa also gave birth to Mustafa's son Mehmed. After Prince Mustafa and his son Mehmed were executed, Mihrünissa went to the capital and cut her own throat before Hürrem's eyes.

In reality, for the reasons already detailed several times above, no prince could marry anyone, so Mustafa also never married. In addition, Barbarossa never had a daughter named Mihrünissa and Hayreddin Pasha was never a supporter of Prince Mustafa. However, even assuming that Mihrünissa existed, there is no chance that she could have committed suicide before Hürrem's eyes. Prince Mustafa's harem retired to Bursa, so that no member of the harem could travel to the capital, especially not to the palace and kill herself in front of Hürrem. So, in fact, the Mihrünissa storyline was just 100% fiction.

Nazenin Hatun

In the series, Nazenin arrived in Istanbul with Nurbanu, where Hürrem, who was struggling with menopause, sent her to the sultan herself. Nazenin thus became the sultan's concubine and soon gave birth to a daughter, Raziye Sultan. Eventually, on Hürrem's instructions, she was killed by Nurbanu.

In reality, as I have said many times, Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem. In addition, after the birth of Prince Cihangir in 1531/2, Suleiman had no more children, neither to Hürrem nor to anyone else. It is true that he had a daughter named Raziye, however, the child died in 1520 at the age of a few years as a result of an epidemic.

Surprising realities

After many fictional characters, one would think that all eunuchs and kalfas were fictional characters, as we know quite a bit about the harem. However, this is not true! There were some historically inspired characters, such as Gazanfer Agha, who, although existed and was one of the most influential eunuchs ever, was not a loyal man of Nurbanu, but Sultan Selim II. Gazanfer reached the peak of his career, by the way, during the reign of Safiye Sultan.

Similarly historical was Canfeda Hatun, who was Nurbanu’s most loyal servant and one of the most influential kalfas of her era. True, Canfeda’s character in the series was a fusion of two loyal servants of historic Nurbanu. In her young age, in the princely harem of Selim, Nurbanu became acquainted not with Canfeda but with another kalfa, who remained her faithful servant for the rest of her life. Canfeda only became Nurbanu’s main supporter during Selim’s reign.

Like them, Afife Hatun’s character was partly real also. Sultan Suleiman's wetnurse was really called Afife and the sultan always kept in touch with the woman. However, Afife Hatun never moved to Istanbul to rule the Sultan’s harem, but lived a simple life.

Gracia Mendes Nasi was introduced last season as a wealthy Portuguese Jewish woman who helped Portuguese refugees get to Istanbul. Later, Gracia became the lover of Grand Vizier Rüstem Pasha, which made her an enemy of Mihrimah Sultan. In reality, Gracia Mendes was a very benevolent soul who was committed to Jewish traditions and her Jewish brothers. She was never a lover of Rustem and an enemy of Mihrimah. However, like the series, Gracia actually enjoyed the Sultan’s support and, with his help, she made great improvements in Istanbul’s Jewish Quarter and helped many refugees start a new life in the Ottoman Empire.

One of the most interesting guest actors of the last season of the series was Anna Jagello, the daughter of the former King of Poland, the sister of the new King of Poland. Although the woman was a real historical figure, the historical Anna never traveled to Istanbul and never corresponded with Hürrem Sultan. However, Hürrem exchanged letters several times with Anna's mother Bona Sforza, Anna's father, King Sigismund I of Poland, and Anna's brother, the later Zsigmond Ágost II king of Poland, and even Anna's sisterm Isabella, the Hungarian queen. Thanks to the intercession of Hürrem, the relationship between the Kingdom of Poland and the Ottoman Empire was quite good and almost friendly during Suleiman's reign.

* * *

Egy kis karácsonyi meglepetés poszt következik. Youtube-on az egyik legnépszerűbb videóm az volt, amelyben a nem történelmi karaktereket gyűjtöttem össze, elmagyarázva, mennyire voltak kitaláltak, mennyire volt mögöttük egy-egy valós történelmi személy, mint ihlető. Most karácsony alkalmából szeretném nektek összefoglalni a Muhteşem Yüzyil sorozat főbb kitalált karaktereit és történetüket.

A Muhteşem Yüzyil sorozatban több kitalált karakter is jelen volt, sokan már az első percektől kezdve. Egyes kitalált karakterek jelenléte megbocsátható volt, hiszen nagyon kevés részlet maradt ránk a Szulejmán háremében jelenlévő személyekről. Így például Sümbül Aga, Gül Aga, Mercan Aga és más eunuchok karakterei bár nem valódi személyeket keltenek életre, szükségesek voltak a sorozat dramaturgiája szempontjából. Sümbül karaktere volt a legfontosabb az eunuchok között és talán emiatt sokan gondolhatjuk úgy, hogy Hürremnek a valóságban is volt egy ilyen közeli barátja a fő eunuch személyében. Azonban ez nem igaz. Szulejmán uralkodása alatt rengeteg főeunuch váltotta egymást és egyikről sem ismert, hogy különösebben közel álltak volna Hürremhez. Hürrem közeli szolgálói közül csupán egy ismert név szerint, egy Nevbahar nevű nő. Sümbülhöz hasonló volt Nigar Kalfa, Gülsah Hatun, Fidan Hatun, Daye Hatun, Fahriye Kalfa karaktere is. Egyikük sem valós személy volt, ám bizonyosan minden szultánának megvoltak a saját megbízható szolgálói, ahogy ezt a sorozatban is mutatták. Hasonlóan az eunuchokhoz és kalfákhoz megbocsátható füllentésnek tekinthetőek Musztafa herceg és Bayezid herceg ágyasai is, Ayşe, Rana, Defne vagy Rumeysa Hatun. A két herceg asszonyairól ugyanis semmit sem tudunk, egyiküknek sem volt kiemelt jelentőségű főágyasa, gyermekeik más-más nőktől születtek.

Voltak azonban olyan karakterek is, akiket csupán a dráma kedvéért írtak bele a történetbe. Az, hogy ezek közül melyik karakter mennyire volt elfogadható, azt mindenki maga döntse el és nyugodtan írja meg kommentben itt vagy más platformon, hogy mit gondol róluk! Következzék hát a várva várt lista:

Sadika Hatun

Sadika a sorozatban egy magyar nő volt, akinek férjét az esküvőjük napján megölte Szulejmán szultán. Sadika ezek után a magyar király, II. Lajos parancsára Isztambulba utazott, hogy ott személyesen bosszulja meg férje halálát. Matrakci Nasuh Efendi aztán egy véletlen folytán megismerkedik a lánnyal és segít neki bekerülni a hárembe, ahol azonnal Ayşe Hafsa Valide Sultan szolgálatába áll, majd Hatice Sultan főszolgálója lesz. Menetközben természetesen többször is Szulejmán ágyának közelébe kerül, majd lehetősége nyílik a szultánra támadni. Azonban nem jár sikerrel, Szulejmán életben marad, Sadikát pedig a Boszporuszba fojtják.

A valóságban ez a történetszál egyáltalán nem lenne lehetséges. Ha feltételeznénk is azt, hogy Sadika valóban létezett és Szulejmán valóban megölte a férjét, akkor sem állt volna módjába bejutni a szultáni hárembe és bosszút állni. Egyrészt Sadika férjezett asszony volt már, felnőtt nő. A hárembe nem kerülhettek be ilyen nők, csupán szűz, gyermeklányokból válhattak a szultán ágyasai. Mindazonáltal ha Sadika valahogy mégis bekerült volna a hárembe hosszadalmas oktatás várt volna rá, mielőtt a Valide Sultan szolgálatába állhatott volna. Előfordulhatott ugyan néhány kivételes eset, amikor idősebb vagy nem szűz nőket akartak volna a szultánnak ajándékozni, azonban ezek különleges esetek. Ilyen volt például, amikor Hayreddin Barbarossa el akarta rabolni a messze földön ismert, gyönyörű Giulia Gonzagát, megözvegyült itáliai nemesasszonyt, hogy a szultán háremébe küldje ajándéknak. Végül nem járt sikerrel, ám ha sikerrel járt volna is, nem tudni, hogy a szultán valaha is ágyba vitte volna-e a nőt.

Leo

A sorozatban Leo Hürrem fiatalkori szerelme volt, aki azzal a céllal érkezett Isztambulba, hogy megtalálja egykori kedvesét. Leo tehetséges művész, aki Nasuh Efendi segítségével (ahh Nasuh csupa jó embert juttatott a szultán közelébe…) Szulejmán szultán és Pargali Ibrahim festője lesz. Egykori viszonya Hürremmel hamarosan kiderül Pargali Ibrahim számára, aki ezzel próbálja zsarolni Hürremet. Hürrem többször könyörög Leonak, hogy hagyja el a fővárost, de a szerelmes férfi marad, ami végül halálához vezet.

A valóságban Hürrem – és minden más ágyas – még kislányként került oszmán fogságba, tehát kizárt, hogy szerelmük vagy vőlegényük lett volna, ha pedig mégis, az sosem tudott volna rájuk találni. Nasuh Efendi, pedig aki a sorozat egyik legnagyobb baleke – ugyanakkor legkedvesebb karaktere – a valóságban egyáltalán nem ilyen volt, hanem egy csodálatos tudós, aki egyébként nem állt ilyen közeli barátságban sem Szulejmán szultánnal, sem Pargali Ibrahimmal.

Izabella Hercegnő

Izabella Fortuna hercegnő a sorozatban egy spanyol nemes hölgy volt, aki éppen jövendőbeli férjéhez, az osztrák herceghez tartott hajón, mikor az oszmán kalózok elragadták és Isztambulba vitték Szulejmán szultán elé. Először Szulejmán politikai okokból érdeklődött csupán a hercegnő iránt, később azonban beleszeretett. Izabella hercegnő eleinte minden porcikájával ellenállt Szulejmán közeledésének, idővel azonban beleszeretett a szultánba és a szeretője lett. Ezt természetesen Hürrem szultána nem állhatta és mindent megtett, hogy megszabaduljon a hercegnőtől, akit végül Szulejmán küldött el.

A valóságban természetesen elképzelhetetlen lett volna egy ilyen szituáció. Ha feltételezzük is, hogy Izabella létezett és a kalózok fogságába esett, egyetlen katolikus hitben nevelt hercegnő sem vált volna szabad akaratából a szultán ágyasává, előbb lett volna öngyilkos. Azt se felejtsük el, hogy Szulejmán az 1520-as évektől kezdve hűséges volt Hürremhez, a valóságban nem volt egyetlen nő sem, aki éket verhetett volna közéjük több évtizedes kapcsolatuk alatt. Másrészről pedig Izabella Fortuna sosem létezett. Meglepő azonban, hogy valós karakterről mintázhatták. Létezett egy Kasztíliai Izabella ebben a korban, aki 1518-ban született az özvegy aragóniai királyné Germaine Foix és V. Károly gyermekeként, azonban sosem esett oszmán kalózok csapdájába és sosem volt az osztrák herceg menyasszonya. Izabella létezését egész életében titokban tartották szülei, csupán édesanyja végrendeletéből derült fény arra, hogy valaha is létezett. Innen tudni azt is, hogy Izabella fiatalon elhunyt 1537-ben.

Aybige Hatun

A sorozatban Aybige Ayşe Hafsa Sultan unokahúga volt, a krími Sahib Giray kán lánya. Aybige eredetileg csak látogatóba érkezett Isztambulba, később azonban nagynénje szerette volna őt kedvenc unokája, Musztafa herceg feleségeként látni. Aybige azonban Bali Bégbe volt szerelmes és Musztafa is más után vágyakozott. Bali Béget végül majdnem kivégezték a szerelmük miatt, Aybige pedig apjával visszatért a Krímre.

Aybige történetszála szinte minden létező ponton hibádzik. Először is, Ayşe Hafsa sosem volt a Krími kán testvére, tehát a krími kán lánya sem lehetett az unokahúga. Emellett Sahib Giray kánnak bár több lánya volt, egyiket sem hívták Aybigének és egyik lánya sem utazott sosem Isztambulba. Az egész történetszál egyetlen igaz pontja, hogy Sahib Giray kán tényleg együttműködött Szulejmán szultánnal annak moldáv háborújában. Fontos megemlíteni ezen a ponton Bali Béget is. Bali Bég bár valós történelmi személy volt, de a legkisebb egyezés sincs a történelmi Bali Bég és a sorozat Bali Bége között. A valódi Bali Bég nem egy romantikus fickó volt, aki minden második nőbe beleszeretett, és akiért bolondultak a nők. Bali Bég egy kegyetlen hadvezér volt. És ha már Bali Bég szóba jött, ejtsünk néhány szót Musztafa hercegről is. Az ötlet, hogy Musztafát egy kán lányához akarják adni teljesen abszurd! II. Mehmed szultán uralkodása óta tilos volt a hercegeknek házasságot kötni, így Musztafa herceg sem köthetett senkivel házasságot. Az pedig, hogy Szulejmán támogatta volna az ötletet, már ha egyáltalán felmerült volna egy ilyen házasság, még nagyobb abszurdum. Szulejmán nem Musztafát akarta örökösének, így sosem adott volna a kezébe akkora hatalmat, mint a krími kán támogatása.

Firuze Hatun

A sorozatban Firuze egy perzsa kém volt, aki csodálatos képességeivel gyógyítani tudta a beteges Cihangir herceg fájdalmait, amivel kiérdemelte Hürrem szeretetét. Firuze azonban rút módon hálálta meg Hürrem kedvességét, ugyanis Szulejmán titkos szeretője lett, akibe a szultán halálosan beleszeretett. Végül Hürrem csak egy hajszállal volt képes felülkerekedni Firuzén, akit végül száműztek a palotából, így visszatérhetett Perzsiába.

A valóságban Szulejmán hűséges volt Hürremhez, monogám kapcsolatban éltek. Ha előfordult is alkalomadtán egy-egy egyéjszakás kaland, Szulejmán soha nem szeretett bele más nőbe, csak Hürremet szerette. Így a Firuze történetszál már itt el is bukott. A tény, hogy Firuze perzsa kém lett volna érdekes felvetés, bizonyára akadtak kémek minden birodalom királyi udvarába, azonban ők valószínűleg nem az ágyasok között rejtőztek. Az eunuchok például, sokkal nagyobb szabadsággal mozogtak, sokkal könnyebben lefizethetők voltak…

Huricihan Sultan

A sorozatban Huricihan Ibrahim Pasa és Hatice Sultan lánya volt, aki szülei halála után Beyhan Sultan palotájában nevelkedett. Onnan tért vissza Isztambulba, ahol beleszeretett elsőunokatestvérébe, Bayezid hercegbe. Szerelmükből kapcsolat, majd házasság lett a szultán engedélye nélkül. Huricihan Bayezid háremének feje lett és kapcsolata lassanként rendbejött Hürremmel és a szultánnal is. Huricihan végzete végül Szelim herceg ágyasa, Nurbanu lett, aki egy vita hevében leütötte őt, ezzel megölve.

A valóságban Hatice és Ibrahim Pasa sosem voltak házasok, így gyermekük sem született, tehát Huricihan sosem létezett. Ha létezett volna is, a már korábban említett okokból teljesen elképzelhetetlen lett volna, hogy Bayezid feleségül vegye őt akár titokban, akár nyíltan. Különösen tudva, hogy Bayezidnek nem volt sosem kiemelt ágyasa, minden gyermeke más nőtől született. Ilyen háttérrel nem valószínű, hogy valaha is feleségül akart volna venni bárkit. Hatice Sultannak bár valóban volt egy lánya, az 1510-1515 között született, így korban jóval megelőzte Bayezidet, és természetesen sosem volt semmi köze a herceghez és nem is Huricihannak hívták.

Mihrünissa Hatun

A sorozatban Mihrünissa Hayreddin Barbarossa flotta parancsnok lánya volt, akit édesapja küldött Musztafa herceg mellé tanácsadónak. Később a két fiatal egymásba szeretett és a szultán tudta nélkül egybe keltek. Idővel Mihrünissa életet adott Musztafa fiának, Mehmednek is. Miután Musztafa herceget és vele együtt fiát, Mehmedet is kivégezték, Mihrünissa a fővárosba ment és Hürrem szeme láttára elvágta a saját torkát.

A valóságban a már fent többszörösen részletezett okok miatt egy herceg sem köthetett házasságot, így Musztafa sem nősült meg soha. Emellett Barbarossának sosem volt Mihrünissa nevű lánya és Hayreddin Pasa sohasem volt Musztafa herceg támogatója. Ha azonban feltételeznénk is, hogy Mihrünissa létezett, nincs arra esély, hogy Hürrem szeme láttára lehetett volna öngyilkos. Musztafa herceg háreme Bursába vonult vissza, így a hárem egyik tagja sem utazhatott egyetlen percre sem a fővárosba, nemhogy a palotába, Hürrem elé. Így tulajdonképpen a Mihrünissa történet-szál 100%-ban kitaláció volt.

Nazenin Hatun

A sorozatban Nazenin Nurbanuval együtt érkezett Isztambulba, ahol aztán a menopauzával küszködő Hürrem maga küldte őt a szultán elé. Nazenin így a szultán ágyasa lett és hamarosan egy lánygyermeknek, Raziye Sultannak adott életet. Végül Hürrem utasítására Nurbanu ölte meg.

A valóságban, mint már sokszor mondtam, Szulejmán hűséges volt Hürremhez. Emellett Cihangir herceg 1531/2-es születése után Szulejmán nem nemzett több gyermeket, sem Hürremnek sem másnak. Az igaz, hogy volt egy Raziye nevű kislánya, azonban a gyermek 1520-ban néhány éves korában elhunyt egy járvány következtében.

Meglepő valóságok

A sok kitalált karakter után azt gondolhatnánk, hogy az összes eunuch és kalfa kitalált karakter volt, hiszen meglehetősen keveset tudunk a háremről. Azonban ez nem igaz! Volt néhány történelmi ihletésű karakter, mint például Gazanfer Aga, aki bár létezett, és a valaha volt egyik legbefolyásosabb eunuch volt, nem Nurbanu hű embere volt, hanem II. Szelim szultáné. Gazanfer pályája csúcsát egyébként Safiye Sultan uralkodása alatt érte el.

Hasonlóan valós volt Canfeda Hatun is, aki Nurbanu leghűségesebb szolgálója volt és az egyik legbefolyásosabb kalfája korának. Igaz, Canfeda sorozatbeli karaktere, a történelmi Nurbanu két hűséges szolgálójának ötvözéseként született meg. Nurbanu fiatal korában, Szelim hercegi háremében nem Canfedával, hanem egy másik kalfával ismerkedett meg, aki élete végéig hűséges szolgálója maradt. Canfeda csak Szelim uralkodása alatt került képbe és vált Nurbanu fő segítőjévé.

Hozzájuk hasonlóan Afife Hatun karaktere is részben valós volt. Szulejmán szultán szoptatósdajkáját tényleg Afifének hívták és a szultán mindig tartotta a kapcsolatot az asszonnyal. Azonban Afife Hatun sosem költözött Isztambulba, hogy irányítsa a szultáni háremet, hanem egyszerű életet élt.

Gracia Mendes Nasi az utolsó évadban került bemutatásra, mint gazdag portugál zsidóasszony, aki portugál menekülteknek segített Isztambulba jutni. Később Gracia a nagyvezír Rüsztem Pasa szeretője lett, aminek köszönhetően szembe került Mihrimah szultánával. A valóságban Gracia Mendes igen jótét lélek volt, aki elkötelezett volt a zsidó hagyományok és zsidó testvérei iránt. Sosem volt Rüsztem szeretője és Mihrimah ellensége. Azonban a sorozathoz hasonlóan, Gracia a valóságban is élvezte a szultán támogatását és segítségével nagy fejlesztéseket vitt véghez Isztambul zsidó negyedében és nagyon sok menekültnek segített új életet kezdeni az Oszmán Birodalomban.

A sorozat utolsó évadának egyik legérdekesebb vendégszereplője Jagelló Anna volt, az egykori lengyel király lánya, az új lengyel király testvére. Bár az asszony valós történelmi személy volt, a történelmi Anna sosem utazott Isztambulba és sosem levelezett Hürrem szultánával. Azonban Hürrem többször is váltott levelet Anna édesanyjával Bona Sforzával, Anna édesapjával, I. Zsigmond lengyel királlyal, valamint Anna testvérével, a későbbi II. Zsigmond Ágost lengyel királlyal, sőt Anna másik testvérével Izabella, magyar királynővel is. Hürrem közbenjárásának köszönhetően Szulejmán uralkodása alatt meglehetősen jó, szinte baráti volt a viszony a Lengyel Királyság és az Oszmán Birodalom között.

#selim ii #gazanfer agha #gazanfer #suleiman the magnificent #safiye sultan #suleiman i #suleyman i #haseki hürrem sultan #hürrem sultan #nurbanu sultan #aybige hatun #ayse hafsa #ayse hafsa sultan #princess isabella #firuze #firuze hatun

94 notes · View notes

crimson-snowfall · 4 years

Note

Hey i read that you do requests for 3 max characters but I wanted to know if you would do a “the ikevamp guys kinks” in short format so as to include all the guys (ex. Guy A: Bdsm, Guy B: Food play) Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable your not obliged to do anything! Thanks❤️

It’s okay anon~ This has been fun to write.

[NSFW] Ikevamp HC request: The Ikevamp guys’ kinks

Napoleon || Kink: Furniture sex

After a few years of being in a relationship with Napoleon, there’s barely any place left where he hasn’t fucked you on yet. At one point you thought that it’s like he’s marking his territory, like an alpha wolf… you can’t blame him though; he was emperor. Just pray he doesn’t get any weird ideas about doing it on the other residents’ rooms.

Mozart || Kink: Anything to do with your fingers

Sometimes he would teach you how to play the piano by guiding your hands, and this is where he got this kink. Let him suck it, run it through his hair during sex– Mozart loves it.

Leo || Kink: You wearing kinky/sexy outfits

Leo loves ravishing you with his eyes whenever you wear something naughty for him, but you better not end up liking whatever you wear for him because this man can’t take anything off of you without ripping it to shreds or damaging it somehow, intentionally or unintentionally. Even if you decide to keep something on as he fucks you, it’s already guaranteed to be damaged once he’s done and you don’t even know how he does it.

Arthur || Kink: Dirty talk

Arthur makes good use of his wide vocabulary and is good with his tongue through and through. Arthur is so good with his words that he has never failed getting you into the mood with just his words. The flirt has a lot of other kinks, but hearing you talk dirty as well and encouraging him to do nasty things to you turns him into a whole new monster. You better mean what you say though, because Arthur will stop at nothing just to make sure you get what you ask for.

Vincent || Kink: Mirror sex

There’s nothing Vincent finds more beautiful than the various expressions you can make whenever he makes love to you, but he found that you’re at your most beautiful when he’s rough and relentless with his movements. He keeps his eyes opened most of the time, committing to memory every second of the pleasure he gives you as it plays out on your face and the subtle arches of your body.

Theo || Kink: Sensory deprivation – blindfolds

Theo loves driving you crazy by overwhelming you with sensation then suddenly withdrawing, holding off any further touch and pleasure until you’re begging with your life. His touches tend to be featherlight while you’re blindfolded, but he’s guaranteed to rough you up once his sadistic side is finally satisfied.

Isaac || Kink: You moaning his name during sex

When you don’t feel like doing anything for the next few days, you can count on Isaac losing control to give you a good excuse. It’s simple– the intensity of his thrusts increase proportionally with the volume and lewdness of your moans… well at least Sebastian knows you’ll be taking the day off the following day and he can prepare in advance. Isaac is the only one who deals with the teasing that comes on the following day too, so it’s a win-win situation for you.

Dazai || Kink: Window sex

You’re quite thankful that Comte doesn’t have any neighbors, because then it’s not only the whole mansion that gets to know whenever you get laid. There’s nothing that turns on Dazai more than having you moan into the night sky, but there are also times he would do it with the windows closed. Even then, you’re still thankful Comte doesn’t have neighbors… you don’t really want anyone to watch you getting fucked with your face and boobs smooshed against a window.

Jean || Kink: Your waist and hips

The only reason you were saved from being stuck with having sex exclusively in the missionary position is because this good christian boy can’t have enough of your waist and hips. Jean loves doing you in dog style when he’s feeling particularly naughty, and he almost always ends up leaving marks on your waist and hips from gripping too hard.

William || Kink: Hair pulling

Duh, he’s not growing his hair out just so you can stare at it. Pull on it as hard as you can as he eats you out, and you’re guaranteed to be treated to a mind-numbing pussy eating as a reward.

Comte || Kink: Voyeurism

Comte likes watching you interact with the other residents but would never admit that he gets off a little from it. He probably won’t mind sharing, even though he keeps on telling himself he won’t let it happen. He alleviates his pent up desires from this kink by asking you to masturbate as he watches, after which he will spend the rest of the night pleasuring you until you pass out from exhaustion.

Sebastian || Kink: Butler/Maid play

No matter how much time has passed and how proficient you become in doing housework, Sebastian would still occasionally sabotage you so that “the butler can punish the clumsy, newly-hired maid”. Much like Napoleon, he’s willing to try it anywhere in the mansion… but unlike Napoleon he has actually done in it with you in Comte’s room, when one day he felt like playing as the master of the house. Whether Comte realized this or not is yet to be confirmed, but maybe he did because he gives Sebastian a meaningful smile whenever the two of you are anywhere near his room.

Charles || Kink: A dominatrix

The collar choker he’s wearing is not just there for aesthetic purposes. It’s an invitation and he’s looking for a mistress who will whip him all night long. He is also very open and perverted about being a sub that he’ll randomly ask you to step on him, sometimes even when you’re not in the mood.

Faust || Kink: Priest/Nun play

Pretty much self-explanatory and would do it anywhere in the church, but his favorite spot seems to be the altar table. Sometimes he likes to do it under the pretense that you’re possessed by a demon and the only way to drive it out is having a “holy sword” driven through you countless times.

Vlad || Kink: Restraints

You can’t remember the last time the two of you fucked you without any form of restraints involved. Occasionally he would ask you to tie him up as well and have you take charge for a while, but he loses control easily and breaks out of it eventually, after which he proceeds to fuck you into his bed. Sometimes you would wake up in the morning tied to his bed, and you actually look forward to these occurrences since it is guaranteed he will eat you out as soon as he’s completely awake.

Uni starts again tomorrow… which means the regular scheduled posts (aka incorrect quotes and the occasional memes) will be back. 4 requests to go and maybe I can do them all within this week since it won’t be that busy yet? No promises though.

811 notes · View notes

nafeary · 4 years

Note

Stop talking with that arsnova smth I don’t wanna see gay shit it sucks anyway

Careful: Angry Aquarius Rant up ahead

Okay, so, I get quite a few shitty asks like this, and I usually like ignoring them if they’re just about me, ya know. However, if you start name calling, I am going to inform that person, naturally. Coz guess what bruh. Just coz you don’t like them doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with them. Shocking, huh. Nonetheless, I still wouldn’t wanna answer this and waste space on my dashboard with cowards like you, cowards who can only spout shit like that because they’re hiding behind a mask.

The reason I’m posting this one however, is because you were insulting an entire group of people. Homophobia is NOT cute sweetie. Sure, I could tag it, but I’m not going to, and that has several reasons. For one, there is some gay content that I feel belongs on this blog and it’s MY blog. I’m stubborn as hell, if you don’t like smth about me, that’s cool. Debate with me over it, that’s cool. Inquire why I like it, that’s cool. But don’t discriminate. Secondly, I don’t see why I should give you tags to blacklist certain things that are normal nowadays (with the exception of smut, I understand that).

Do you go into a supermarket and tell the employees to blacklist the gay couples because you don’t wanna see them? Is there a function in a television which enables you to blacklist certain genres? Do you tell the government to blacklist entire groups of people because you don’t wanna see them in the park or smth? I’m sure you get the twist.

I know that tags like these exist, but I do not want to tag something when you could just easily find all my BL related content in my masterlist, that’s redundant. Oh wait? You want the tag so you can blacklist it? Well too bad, I’m not gonna give you a false illusion of life. It’s normal, just live with it. If you don’t like it, close your eyes and ignore it.

And here is the thing, honey. I’m not even a big fan of BL/Yaoi explicitly. I’m not here for that, I’m here for the potential of love. If I see something that seems ship-able, them imma ship them. Do you see where I’m getting with this? I’m doing so because it’s normal. I’m doing so because

TL;DR: Too bad for you; homosexuality is normal, so you better live with it, gurl

And while I’m at it, here are some fic recs of my tumblr gang (AND THEYRE ALL BL MUAHHAHAH)

From our resident lovely bayonetta lover @hokkaido-fox, we got this fic of a ship that I’ve never thought about, but works... oddly well. William and Charles are in the middle of some rather kinky companionship, and Leo comes over to use the opportunity of Will’s blindfold. Perfect for a quick but spicy read :D

Next up, from our thirsty meme dealer @delicateikemenmemes, we got this headcanon of absolutely stunning Jean-is-pure-and-innocent-not-anymore crack. I’m not gonna spoil anything except MILK AND CEREAL. Perfect for a good laugh :D

Next, of the person who started the Jeanpoleon Movement and writes some AMAZING fanfics, we have @arsnovacadenza (not arsnovasmth you idiot), we have this fic of the most heartwarming of camaraderie that I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. Honestly, read all her fics. DO IT. (If you wanna skip straight to some good ‘ol Jeanpoleon smut, here ya go). Still hoping for that continuation of Stolen Batteries

If you’re a talented writer, and interested in Arthur/Vincent. You might wanna read this headcanon that has been created by the hands of @delicateikemenmemes, (the most adorable penguin in the universe) @juminly, and me. Also for those Theo lovers, as it includes MC/Theo.

Also, gotta do some self promotion after all, I have this fic of Isaac and Dazai being little shits, aka hug it out bros, pls.

This is all for today. Don’t mess with an ENTP/Aquarius, bitch.

#just talks #angry rant #ikemen vampire #arghhhhh

79 notes · View notes

thedailyvio · 3 years

Text

Every now and then I feel bad for giving 0 context for anything, so gonna quickly summarize my story stuff under the cut

The Traveler’s Found (TTF)

Skye, Gill, Marth, Kydin, Leo, Kira, Krieg, Heiwa, Narcissa, Sebastian, Vadim, Bahemek, Xenon, etc

TTF is hard to summarize because it has 10 story arcs and they all lead into the other, but the plot begins with ‘A wizard terrorist attacks the king of Hou’lu sending two girls on a quest to stop him’ which sounds so simple doesn’t it -sobs-

Very adventure, political intrigue, slice of life elements

They basically travel all over the world, and I’ll quickly summarize what that’s like by listing each countries major influences

Hou’lu: Italian Renaissance, China

Sunobor: Medieval Germany, Japan, Inuit

Haldon: Folk Mexican, Folk Italian

Lavynna; Byzantine, some inspo from India to structure of things?

Gehinna: Ancient Hebrew

Parappa: Egypt-Germany

North Desert: Russia-Arabic

Harpies (more a tribe): Maasai

TTF of them all gets the most complicated but very incrementally, so it’s the hardest to express much on. But they get a cool hard magic system based on 10 elements so

Also TTF dragons are sentient, intelligent, and morally complex

—

The Miyoré Schism

A prequel to ttf by about 900 years

Faolan, Mien, Enlai, whatever I name the girl, Jiao

The plot here is a bit simpler

What happens when the one who pulls the blade only those Chosen by God can touch is among the race of people thought to be destined to serve?

This focuses largely on the Sha’li of East Hou’lu. As a race they have very distinct white hair, pale skin, and red eyes. At this time in history, monster taming was very common as well, so most the characters have a family or personal monster. Sha’li also have an ability to become “invisible” but in actuality they are lowering their ‘presence’ or ‘noticibility’ to all non-Sha’li

This story draws largely from Tibet for its aesthetics

—

Kingdoms

Ariella, James, Charles, Kiba

I have uprooted a lot about this story and not yet relayed it, but so far

A girl who wanted to become a soldier but was refused strikes out on adventure to do what she can for her country on her own- but to her chagrin gets a tag along

This story likely will have a soft magic system, and is definitely still based on Victorian and Japanese aesthetics. It’s actually a specific era of Japanese history but I can’t remember which. Possibly 16th c?

Despite this, it’s a low tech world.

Most fantasy type creatures/races do show up in Kingdoms, unlike my other stories

Dragons exist in Kingdoms but are universally evil and nobody has ever killed one

—

Magic and Cannons (MnC)

A wip name still

Cusick, Agathe, Romana, Kordell, Levi, Maureen, Ames, Sung-jin

I’m still figuring put the plot to this honestly, but the first bit is definitely

‘A narcissistic man is captured as a PoW and must find a way to escape’

There’s just three countries of any importance to this world, and it’s much less whimsical in nature than the others, being closer to reality in some ways, and having a lot more tech. Though it vibes as subtly cartoony in how characters have slightly exaggerated aspects to their personalities and behaviors.

Delemar is the country Cusick is from and is based on Wild West in many ways, they’re a very independent people which can be good and bad, they also give no hecks about safety and are pretty wild in general

Choson is where Romana is from and they are much more interested in normalcy and order, which can be both good and bad. They prefer reptiles and fish as pets to mammals actually, which feels important to mention. If you know much about history, I suppose it’s clear they draw a lot from Korea for aesthetics.

Choson is also a very mixed population in terms of race, which Delemar is very much not.

Kievan is where Agathe hails from and is based on Russia. In each case I tried sticking to 1850s-1900s ish for my influences of these countries, though socially they are very diff.

Kievan has an affinity for wine and is the only country that appreciates using electricity for power. They have harsh winters, especially compared to the other two countries which tend to be more tropical in climates. Kievan is less developed so far, but they tend towards legalism there, and while that can be bad, they are also the one not involved in a pointless war, so

MnC is what I call glasspunk, Delemar and Choson rely on ‘reactions’ for their energy sources, which I can only explain as ‘you know how if you mix two volatile liquids, they could explode? They harness the energy from such things’

This is possible because their magic system is a type of alchemy which has allowed them a lot of reactions not available to us, and with this they’ve been able to get treated glass which is nearly indestructible, great for containing anything they need.

Magic is still something within the individual, but in MnC the extent of what it does is change the properties of whatever you’re touching with your hands. If you specialize in using this and inventing things based off of things with changed properties, you’re called a mage.

MnC has a lot of strange tech this way, including trains, vehicles, customizeable guns, staves that through weird tech stuff can have sort of elemental effects, etc.

Electricity is not compatible with reactions btw, because it can cause them to explode outside of when they’re meant to, kinda like smoking by a bunch of canisters of gasoline, it might be a lil risky. So societies that use reactions do not use electricity and have things in place to get rid of it, and societies that use electricity don’t use reactions. Combining them can get cool tech, but is inherently risky.

oh whoops I went off there, huh. Oh well it’s not seen as often as the other types of societies/magics I listed so

Dragons in MnC are animals (technically wyverns?) and have been domesticated to be work animals. No fire breath but they do have a strong venom, I think a neurotoxin type?? And the insides of their mouths are orange 👀 oh and the domesticated ones are reflective like mirrors ish

—

Children of the Little Mine (CotLM)

Geno

This is the only one I plan to make a novel, because it’s set in 1950′s-1960′s New York City and I don’t care about those aesthetics at all

I don’t have it planned out very far for plot, but basically a gremlin thief boy of 17 has a strange ability to manipulate how gravity effects him, and seemingly nobody else in the world has this. But one day during a break and entering situation, Geno finds another boy with an ability, and from there they decide to try sticking together a bit to figure out why, and maybe put together a heist against a mafia boss in the mean time (two stealy boys)

This is very close to being historical fiction aside from abilities, which are /extremely/ rare in this world. I’m very inspired by Artemis Fowl and A Separate Peace for tone, and plan to have middleschool boys as my target audience. Though I love fantasy and such, this one’s still a bit close to my heart anyways

Anyways literally nobody asked for this I just do this to myself. I seriously wanna start practicing comic making skills, but I can’t do that too much for a daily thing when I can usually put in an hour at best. I’m trying to find a sweet spot for it all, but it may yet be awhile before I can post literally anything that sheds light on who the heck any of the chars I post are.

I want to though, and I’ve been running this blog for years now, so best to assume it’ll get there someday. I have still written a lot and planned out things, so progress still happens behind the scenes. Aside from the last few months but that’s not uncommon for this time of year. If you actually read this, thanks euchjsd I don’t think many will, but having it here makes me feel a bit better

#Text

8 notes · View notes

stella-monstrum · 3 years

Text

Bride Of Chucky (1998), Rated R [A beginners crash course]

WARNING: This article contains clips and photos that I do not own and are simply including to watch along with this article. NSFW CONTENT AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD)

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

In the era of “semi charmed” living, the birth of Viagra, & heartthrob Leo, 1998 was also a time for some unique box office horror films.

For my first post, I want to really dive into the Don Mancini Chucky franchise. I have a history and (albeit irrational) fear of the twisted “Good Guy,” but dammit—I figured it wouldn’t really hurt to give Bride of Chucky a view for the first time.

To be fair, I did go into this without watching Child’s Play at all. If you, like me, are new to horror, let’s be honest—skipping it completely wouldn’t hurt. Let’s start by talking about the cast, shall we?

We’re joined once again by Brad Douriff (as notorious serial killer Charles Lee Ray—AKA Chucky), this time with a new slate of co-stars to join him.

Jennifer Tilly as Ray’s scorned ex-lover (Tiffany Valentine),

Romeo & Juliet like lovers Katharine Heigl (Jade) and Nick Stabile (Jesse),

Their best friend (and somewhat voice of reason), David (Gordon Michael Woolvett)

Chief Warren Kincaid (John Ritter), Jade’s shitty cop dad

Lieutenant Preston (Lawrence Dane)

Norton (Michael Louis Johnston), Warren’s officer rat

From L-R: David, Jesse, Jade, Warren, and Norton. (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)

---------------------

To sum the film up, Tiffany Valentine sets up an officer to bring her the ripped-to-shreds “Good Guy” so she can hold a ritual to put Ray’s soul back into the body of Chucky. From then on, the film deals with commitment issues, Tiffany ending up in the body of the “bride”, and two HS teens who run away on a road trip to New Jersey when Jesse gets paid to take the (unknowingly) possessed dolls to the gravesite of Charles Lee Ray. Moreso, shit goes south very quickly when Jesse and Jade get framed for the murder spree that the dolls commit.

------------

Now to the nitty gritty of what I loved, hated, and honorable mentions of the 1hr 29min film:

(Cont)

LOVES:

1) Balance of well-timed comedic one-liners, masochism, and satisfying kills

Let’s face it—every shitty character that a film makes you hate from the get-go eventually gets what’s coming to them.

—The karma-filled death of Officer Warren. Whilst Jesse and Jade believe that Warren is not home, they pack for their little road trip. Warren shows up to plant drugs into the van, which makes Tiffany and Chucky take matters into their evil little doll hands so that their plans don’t get derailed. Tiffany lures Warren to the front of the vehicle, only for him to be met with a face full of nails ejected from opening the booby-trapped glove box.

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998) (If you’re curious, you can view the scene HERE)

Talk about getting NAILED, but not in the fun way HAHA

-----------

My most favorite thing about the film BY FAR? The comedic and perfectly timed one-liners.

—On the theme of masochism, after Jesse and Jade elope at one of those cheesy quick marriage chapels, they spend the night in the honeymoon suite. They meet a swinging and swindling couple who steal the $500 Tiffany left for Jesse to make the trip. Tiffany and Chucky catch the woman and sneak away to get their revenge after Jesse and Jade fall asleep. The swingers die (in a very cool, albeit horrible, way) when Tiffany throws a bottle of champagne into the voyeurism mirror above the bed, leaving the swingers a shredded bloody mess amidst pieces of now-shredded waterbed. [Pt. 1, you can view HERE.)

Valentine’s brilliance gets Chucky…“going” (look, I feel weird even typing that), and they decide to act out what every kid does with dolls when their parents aren’t looking. In the middle, Tiffany asks Chucky, “Do you have a rubber”? To which Chucky replies that he’s made of rubber. (Okay, view at own risk of ruining your childhood HERE.)

-----------------

2) Story & timeline recap and consistency

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this review, you really don’t need to watch “Child’s Play” to get the gist of this film whatsoever.

—When we’re introduced to Tiffany’s trailer home, the camera takes a brilliant panoramic stroll across a shelf of newspaper clippings that she had kept. These clippings detail the date when Charles Lee Ray (Chucky) was caught & killed, as well as the snippets of Andy telling the police that the “Good Guy” doll was responsible for the murders all the way in 1988’s first installment.

The Heart of Damballa” AKA the Amulet

—When Chucky gets back at Tiffany for keeping his doll form locked up in a wooden play-pen, he eventually escapes, electrocutes Tiff in the bathtub, and transfers her body into the bride doll that she got to give Chucky as a sick joke (will explain later on). When they’re both stuck in their new bodies, Chucky explains (as the film shows), that when Charles died, he had the amulet around his neck that transferred his soul (as seen in Child’s Play)—hence the road trip to get it so they can do the same with living potential vessels, Jesse and Jade.

[The Heart of Damballa, buried with Charles Lee Ray. (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)]

-------------

DISLIKES:

1) The extremely hot/cold cat-and-mouse game between Chucky and Tiffany throughout

This all stems from Tiffany finds a ring that she believed Charles had left for her after he’d been caught and gunned down. Chucky shortly informs her that she was “fuckin’ nuts” for thinking that he’d commit (hence Tiff getting set off and locking him in the pen). Sure, a couple argues here and then. But in this case, when the audience (I) think(s) that there’s a breather, they continue to pile on. I get that they’re laying out the character dynamic, but it’s a bit much. They have heartwarming moments (considering the fact that they’re serial killers), but as soon as you blink, they want to kill one another.

[Tiffany taunting Chucky after locking him in with his “bride.” (Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)]

------------

2) THE ENDING—okay, well, specifically one piece to the finale of the film

As the police hunt for Jesse and Jade, Lt. Preston finds them at the dug-up gravesite of Charles Lee Ray. Preston then sees the evil and very much alive doll. Preston tells Jesse and Jade that the police won’t believe what’s clearly unfolding. He then gets a call and simply says (I’m paraphrasing) “Well, Jesse and Jade, they didn’t do it.”

—Honestly, it came across as anticlimactic. I would have liked to see them get further framed, because, at that point, I couldn’t stand the couple anymore. That’s just me being a cynic.

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998) [Preston taking a phonecall]

-----------

HONORABLE MENTION:

The soundtrack!!! As much as I love films, the first things that stand out to me about any movie are the score and licensed music that go along with them.

If you’re not familiar with the artists, the groovy/rocking/brooding musical picks fit so incredibly well with their placements within Bride of Chucky and oh so perfectly encapsulates a true throwback ‘90s film.

From SLAYER and Judas Priest to White Zombie, Blondie, etc., this album fully kicks ass and makes you feel much more immersed into the movie.

(Credit: Genius.com)

-------------------------------------------

All in all, the humor aforementioned in #1 saves the minor annoyances in this film for me. If you’re terrified of the dolls (like I was), this is the perfect “ice breaker” to start out with.

Rating: 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 (4 out of 10 Stabs)

Anyone still want Tiffany’s meatball recipe??

(Screencap, Bride of Chucky, 1998)

11 notes · View notes

365days365movies · 3 years

Text

March 2, 2021: The General (Review)

Just like The Gold Rush, this was a charming movie!

Keaton, unsurprisingly, turned out a fantastic film, especially for the time period. Seriously, it’s insane how well this film holds up today! Shame that it almost ended Keaton’s career altogether. Because this film was NOT successful in 1926, mostly because dude made a film about the Civil War, with the Confederates as the heroes, only about 60 years after the conflict! Yeah, people weren’t hyper-jazzed about that.

UA was now super-against funding films where Keaton had complete and total control. But, he was still Buster Keaton, so they kept him on, but put some restrictions on him. Ironic, given that UA was founded to prevent EXACTLY that. Keaton was not about it, even though the two films that followed were at least somewhat successful. One of them, Steamboat Bill, Jr., produced ANOTHER of the most iconic shots of film history.

Yeah...wow. But this was the last film that Keaton made with UA, and he moved to another studio after this: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, or MGM. And THAT was a HUGE mistake, because his creativity was heavily restricted by the mega-studio, and they would deny many of his requests. If it weren’t for them, Keaton would’ve broken into talkies FAR earlier than he did, and may have revitalized the entire industry. They also made him use a stunt double, forced dialogue on his scripts when he’d purposely omitted it, etc. He wasn’t happy.

And not just in his career, either. See, it’s around this time that his marriage to Natalie Talmadge completely falls apart. They give it another shot in the early ‘30s, but officially separate and divorce in 1932, with Natalie getting basically all of this money, and taking his kids away from him. This, combined with his struggles with MGM, drove Keaton to alcoholism, and he was institutionalized. There, he met his second wife, nurse Mae Scriven. That lasted 2 years, after an unhappy Keaton cheated on her in 1935. And again, the divorce left Keaton essentially bankrupt.

MGM was tired of him, too, and in 1933, they fired him. Not a great year for Keaton. He signed on with a few other studios, became a writer for the Marx Bros (more on them tomorrow), and was eventually hired by Columbia Pictures in 1939. And that was...OK, but Keaton wasn’t happy still. And then, on the horizon...look! It’s another marriage! This time, it was to Eleanor Norris, whom he married in 1940. Their marriage would last for 26 years.

And Keaton was still around. This happy marriage apparently stabilized him a little bit, and he’s able to re-release his old films with new music. He also gained new fame on a new medium: television. He appears on talk shows and game shows from the 1940s into the 1960s, while also appearing in films throughout the ‘50s and ‘60s! He eventually made a return, and even had a cameo in...It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World WAIT WHAT

HOLY SHIT IT IS HIM!!! How did I never know this? One of my favorite comedies of all time, with a metric fuckton of cameos in it, and how did I not know that Buster fuckin’ Keaton was one of them? Hot damn! His last major film appearance was in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum three years later, and at 70 years old, he still did his own stunts and pratfalls. A class act until the end. Literally.

Because, much to his own surprise, he died of terminal lung cancer on February 1, 1966. And I say to his own surprise because...well, nobody ever told him he was diagnosed with cancer. Yeah, he thought he had bronchitis, and was diagnosed a month before his death! He never found out that he had cancer! Isn’t that fucked? Today, he’s buried in Forest Lawn Memorial Park, in Hollywood, CA, with a hell of a lot of other stars. Crazy, huh?

Oh, and do yourself a favor: even if you don’t watch his films, just browse this website (or even the GIF feature in post-writing) for GIFs of Buster Keaton. He’s a legend, and you can see why through these GIFs alone. But enough about his career as a whole: what about this film by itself? Well, read this for a Recap, and read on for my Review!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Well, first things first, Buster Keaton was a star for a reason. He’s unsurprisingly fantastic in this film, and his comedic stylings are far different from Chaplin’s. His deadpan expression is oddly iconic, and works well in the environs of the film. And that’s not saying anything about the action...but I’ll save that for later. How was everybody else? Marion Mack was pretty good, better than Georgia Hale was in The Gold Rush, anyway. Glen Cavender...existed? Yeah, outside of those two, nobody gets much attention. Granted, it’s Buster Keaton, so the film could get away with that.

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Obviously, here, we need to focus more on the plot than the writing, but it’s still good! I didn’t touch upon the real historical event this is loosely based on (and I do mean loosely), but it’s an interesting story. Throwing in the love story alongside wasn’t a bad idea, either. Do I think it’s perfect? I mean, no, for a few reasons. Mostly the fact that...this doesn’t really feel like a comedy. Like, I know that it is, and there are enough moments that feel comedic...but just barely. This works far better as an action film than it does a comedy, is what I’m saying. Is it fair to judge it by comedic metrics, then? Maybe not, but this film has always been billed as a comedy, and...I don’t think that fits. Sorry...all five writers of the screenplay. Damn, really? Yeah, alongside Buster Keaton, we’ve also got Al Boasberg, Clyde Bruckman, Charles Henry Smith, and Paul Gerard Smith on this. Huh. OK, then.

Direction and Cinematography: 10/10

I mean...come on. This is fantastic. Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton direct, while Bert Haines and Devereaux Jennings are the cinematographers, and all of them do a fantastic job. I don’t even have much to say here, because the directing and shot composition of this film are wonderful. Seriously, no compaints.

Production and Art Design: 10/10

THEY. COLLAPSED. A BRIDGE. WITH A TRAIN ON IT. FOR REALSIES.

Music and Editing: 9/10

Finally, I did enjoy the music for this one! Editing here (by Buster Keaton and Sherman Kell) is great, while the music (by...one of people, depending on the edition you’re watching), is great! I think my version was by William P. Perry, but I’m genuinely not sure. I version I watched had some great music, though! Not as memorable for me as The Gold Rush, but still fantastic on its own.

92% capacity on the Hype Train! All aboard!

A hallmark of film history, as previously detailed! But now that that’s done, it’s time to break the silence. See, in 1927, the “sound film” or “talkie” finally came onto the scene, thanks to new cameras and film-making technology. Sound could now be tied with film footage, leading us into a new era for film, and for the comedy genre of film. Now, you could HEAR the jokes, rather than see them. And, as if to make up for lost time, the next burgeoning film stars would be fast-talking, wisecracking jokesters, and the next heirs of the vaudeville era. And one group would take this role above all others. And we’ll look at them next.

April 3, 2021: Duck Soup (1933), dir. Leo McCarey

#the general #the general 1926 #clyde bruckman #buster keaton #marion mack #glen cavender #jim farley #comedy april #user365 #365days365movies #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year

1 note · View note

hippychick006 · 4 years

Text

15.11: The Gamblers - Episode Review/Recap

This ep follows directly on from last week. The episode was very mixed, there were 2 distinct storylines that merged at the end. I had a few issues with the Castiel/Jack side of the story, which I’ll cover later, but the Sam and Dean scenes, for the most part, I was able to enjoy. I even caught myself smiling… fucking smiling at several moments, because this? This was a glimpse of what my show once was. This also explains to the “Just stop watching” brigade why I’m still watching. The brother scenes were a nugget of gold amongst the dross and worth watching for.

Thank you, Davey Perez, Meredith Glynn and Director Charles Beeson for reminding me, albeit briefly, why I fell in love with this show, and at the same time, why I dislike much of Dabb’s run, which in my humble opinion hasn’t just veered the ship slightly off course; it crashed into an iceberg in 11.21 and has been slowly sinking since then. I think last week’s episode brought us to the point where half the ship is now vertical, ready to plunge into the depths of the icy ocean...

...Anyway, enough about sinking ships, the key thing I struggled with going into this episode is the obvious fuck up from the previous week; the entire premise of the Winchester’s losing their “luck” and being reduced to “normal” people, and I want to talk rant about that for a few more minutes before we get onto this episode. If you want to skip that, I’ll put start and end of rant, so you can skip forward.

Start of rant

In order to enjoy this episode, you pretty much have to ignore much of the previous episode and… that doesn’t sit well with me. Last week wasn’t just a single scene you can forget ever existed (e.g. the trench-coat scene or Dean’s apology to Cass). What Dabb did fucked with the entire concept of the show; that the Winchesters are ordinary people who do extraordinary things. So, it’s really difficult to shake that epic fuck up off and just move on.

I just can’t ever buy in to the concept that the Winchesters were “favoured” or have more luck than “normal” people. I mean look at Sam’s life for starters; he didn’t know his mom, he was fed demon blood as a baby, was dragged up in a life he hated, constantly moving, being brought up in crappy motels and forced to train to become a hunter. The love of his life is murdered, and he becomes an orphan at 22. He died at 23 (for the first time) and then he loses the last remaining member of his family at 24. The Winchesters are far from “lucky” and if I could be bothered, I’d go looking for mentions of “with the Winchester luck” that have been peppered throughout the series. Chuck has not “favoured” the Winchesters at all and they haven’t had Charmed lives because of Chuck’s interference.

I also can’t buy into the concept that the Winchesters are anything other than “normal” in the first place. Sadly, they showed last weeks “fight” scenes during the recap and it did nothing, other than enrage me again. Sam and Dean are excellent fighters and hunters because they trained from a young age to be as good as they are. They weren’t “given” anything and certainty not a free ride and fuck Dabb once again for writing that bullshit. It was nothing less than petty because we rejected his instant Hunter!Barbie fiasco that wasted too much of season 13.

So, how do I move forward from that and manage to enjoy this episode? The answer in my opinion, is you can’t, because even with a few good brother moments, the entire premise of this week’s episode fails to make sense, because the previous episode fails to make sense. I’ll cover why that is when we get to the pool game.

End Rant

The episode opens on a recap, and I ask myself why they are using all the bad bits from the previous few episodes, before I remember there weren’t many good bits to select from. That clip of Jensen with the teeth is still funny. 😂

I love the intro again this week. The setting was good, the guest actors, the camerawork, the music choice – North to Alaska - which complimented the scene, rather than felt like nails being dragged down a chalkboard. All classic spn so far, so it has my attention.

Two men (Joey and Leonard) are playing a game of pool and you can tell this is a high stakes game from the get go. What the stakes are, we don’t yet know, but when the game ends, we see 2 coins being held in a contraption above the pool table; one glows green then dulls with the coin head disappearing, the other glows green and gets brighter with the coin head gaining in definition. I don’t think this looks good for the loser. He agrees and tries to attack the winner with his pool cue. He’s stopped from doing so by a bouncer who turfs him outside. 👋 cutie tall bouncer. There’s an absolutely great shot of the loser tossing his coin in the air and the music gets loud again (Hey, I’m here as much for the settings, lighting, music and camerawork as I’m here for the Winchesters – sue me) and then…. Splat. He’s hit by a truck. Poor Leonard, red shirt of the episode. RIP my friend.

As an aside, I like how you guys announce which pocket the 8 ball is going into, we don’t do that.

This was a great into, interesting premise that immediately sucked me in, wanting to find out more. This is my show. Great job so far.

The next scene though shows once again how useless, at least for me, the writing is around Castiel. They wrote an entire scene with him walking into the bunker, seeing a note that has been left, going down to read it “Cass, we’ve gone to Alaska, Sam”. I’m not going to rant about the twats that insist on saying Sam has spelt it wrong, I’ve already done a post about the arrogance of fans trying to tell the show that created the character that they are wrong with the spelling of that character, so I’ll save you by moving on.

This entire scene, while I liked the shots of the otherwise empty bunker, was just wasting time for me. I’ve seen people say Sam left a note because Castiel was in heaven and wouldn’t get a text message and how clever of Sam to resort to paper. I don’t know about anyone else, but I dip in and out of WiFi zones all the time and the moment I dip back in, my phone pings with multiple notifications, so I personally thought this scene was dumb. It would have been better to see Castiel appear back at the sandpit and get a text notification from Sam with the same message.

Even better, you could take this scene away and it changes nothing that happens so why include it? *Whispers* J2 wanted time off and the writers are incompetent of filling that space with something more interesting so use “filler”.

Interestingly, my computer froze on Castiel’s face for 5 minutes so fuck you Norton or Windows 10 Update for your bad timing in running something in the “background”

BROMENT ALERT

We’re finally with what I’m watching the show for. Dean and Sam are in baby and driving towards Alaska. Sam’s phone is lighting up with messages and we find out through Dean that it’s Eileen. 🙄. Oh, Eileen’s being shoved into the narrative now? Sorry Eileen, the third wheel position on the show has already been filled since Season 7. And fuck you again Dabb because I loved Eileen as a friend of Sam and it’s just yet another thing your reverse Midas fingers have screwed over this season.

Dean: Silent mode is always an option

Me: I love you, have my babies… wait, that came out wrong

Eileen thinks the plan is a little too good to be true. Sam thinks she might be right. He’s not convinced the place even exists or that it can fix their problem. Dean thinks it couldn’t hurt and he’s done with normal, including the constant heartburn.

Sam: You know if you changed your diet…. Dean’s frown 😂

Sam insists that no one other than Garth has heard of it and it isn’t in the lore. Dean believes it’s got to be there. He believes Chuck isn’t messing with them,

Dean: He [Chuck] wants us off our game, he wants us weak, ‘cos he’s coming for us Sammy, and when he does, and we haven’t figured this out, we’re DOA.

Mostly a great brother scene, apart from the forced insertion of Eileen – are we incapable of getting a broment in the final chuck damn season, without the completely unnecessary forced inclusion of a third party???! The scene ends with a great shot of baby.

Back at the bunker and Castiel hears a phone ringing, and… I’m trying not to nitpick, but the way this case comes about just annoys me. There are better ways of bringing this about, than how they did it. But moving on, Castiel answers a random phone that was ringing in Sam’s room, and it’s a sheriff (Jeb Evans) looking for FBI agent, Watts. Castiel tells the sheriff that Agent Watts is working a case in Alaska, and that he is Agent… Lizzo. I can only assume Dean gave him that alias as I don’t think Castiel would know any musicians on his own. I like Jeb, who tells Agent Lizzo, they have a homicide and the suspect is someone Agent Watts flagged into the system… and guys… Sam is back to hacking into police systems and I just… I need a moment here as they’ve remembered Sam can hack into systems!

The agent tells Castiel that the suspect is Jack Kline.

Ummm… Castiel, are you... okay? Do you… do you maybe need to use the bathroom? Oh, you’re emoting? Okay dokay then. I can’t with this. I got more out of Leo in the less than 2 minutes he was on screen than I got out of Castiel since his return in season 7.

Back with the impala, which rolls into a diner stop. Sam is asleep, and Dean whacks him to wake him up. Sam wonders why they’ve stopped at “Round up café”. Dean says it’s the last stop for food for a few hundred miles.

Sam (frowns): Grab something out of the cooler

Dean: Yeah, no, I polished off the last of the sandwiches while you were out

Sam (annoyed): We’re on a budget!

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Last weeks puppy dog eyes fiasco aside, Dean’s still wrapped round Sam’s fingers, they enter the diner, slap some coins on the counter and ask what they can get for $4.60. Apparently, it’s a slice of pie and a coffee, and I’m moving to Alaska when they secede from the US because that would barely get you just the coffee here.

Dean asks for two forks for the pie

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Long story short on this scene, they get out of the waitress there’s a local urban legend about a magic poolhall in the middle of nowhere, that if you win, you come back lucky. She says though that no one ever comes back. Turns out she knew Leonard from the intro, and he went up there because the bank was going to take his house and he met with an accident.

Sam says at least they know now what the downside is. Dean doesn’t agree, he thinks it could be great, pool is the game of champions, kings, his game, our game, and they have great memories of hustling pool

Sam: yes, because we had to… to eat!

Still not seeing the “luck” Dabb wrote about. Imagine thinking they were remotely lucky; running scams or hustling pool to put a roof over their head or food in their stomach. And this is where I disconnect with this week’s episode, because of last week’s writing. How are they going to even be good at pool, a game that takes practice and skill? The things taken away seem to be random and plot devices; lock picking, fighting, hot metal burns, while it appears Dean can still drive okay, fix baby and I’m guessing their pool is going to be okay too, otherwise what’s the point of this episode? There’s no believable rules to this “bad luck/normal” and I’m left completely drifting and because of it. It's just badly thought out and executed.

Dean: if pool is the way we get our mojo back then maybe we ain’t as screwed as we thought

Waitress: Hey, you guys drive an impala?... I think you guys have a flat.

😂

Back with Cass and sheriff Jeb, Cass has managed to set up the laptop and access a video the sheriff has sent him. The video is of Jack killing a doctor and eating his heart. 😷 Jack, no! I’ll come back to the heart eating later.

Back with the boys, another shot of baby as they pull into “Lurlenes”. Baby isn’t sounding too good and I think I missed that earlier, but it did somewhat register that she was sounding louder than normal. Good touch.

Dean walks over one of the coins as they head for the entrance which I guess might be Leonard’s from earlier. I like little details like this. Once inside, Sam points out they don’t have beer money, much less what it costs to buy into a game. Dean says they’ll figure something out and goes to the bar and orders two waters. I’m guessing that’s going to hit Dean more than health conscious Sam. Dean asks the bar person, Evie, how they get into a game. She calls Pax over and it’s the tall, cutie bouncer from earlier. Sam asks Evie if she saw Leonard and she says no, but you can tell she’s lying.

Pax takes them to his office and explains the rules of the game, that they don’t bet with money, they bet with luck. He gets Dean to touch a coin he puts down and it turns green. Pax looks at the coin and says “not great”

Dean: And that means?

Pax explains that everyone walks in with a certain amount of luck, that the green glow was Dean’s and it was “about average.” Dean thinks that sounds about right. I’m going to head-canon that Dean’s luck is about average of the people that find the pool hall, but below average in general, due to Chuck screwing around with them.

Pax says if Dean wins a game, he might see his fortunes improve.

Sam: And if he loses?

Pax says he can keep playing, but if the coin goes blank, that means you’re out of luck, and you’ve got to leave. He asks if they’ve got any questions.

Sam (a bit pissy): What is this place? Who owns it?

Pax says he doesn’t know, but if they don’t like it, they are free to leave.

Dean: When I win, can I split it (indicates Sam)… the luck?

Pax (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍 Oh, wait, sorry, that was me

Pax: it’s yours, you can do what you want

Sam asks for a second to talk to his husband brother.

Sam: no, no, no, no, no way (complete with shaking finger)

Dean: man, I’ve been slinging pool cues since before you were born

Snarky!Sam: when you were four, really? In between snack time and nap? 😂

Dean (internally): damn, I forgot you were my brother for a second and I can’t bullshit you

Dean tells Sam that they need to do this, and that Sam is pretty much better than him, at everything, he’s not mad about it, he’s proud… but he can wipe the floor with Sam at pool. Dean takes Sam’s epic eyeroll as silent permission he can play.

Back with Castiel, he investigates the doctor’s office and finds a weird case which has a sword inside. We flashback to a previous episode with Sam tied to a chair (🙄 it must have been a Thursday). Anyway, the flashback tells us the doctor was one of the Grigori, a brotherhood of perfect beings. I’d forgotten about them and might have to look them up before I touch the heart eating thing. Note: I did look them up and it was a Claire episode, so never mind, that’s why I forgot about them.

We transition from Cas to Jack and he seems to be following someone with the same case as the doctor, so another Grigori. He follows the Grigori into an abandoned building.

Back at the pool hall and no one is biting to play with the noob. Okay, I’m ashamed to say I laughed at this next bit, Dean deliberately breaks badly and loudly proclaims that he’s rusty at this. Oh Dean. No one’s going to fall for… Surprisingly he actually gets a taker and asks Dean to rack up. Sam goes back to the bar to speak to Evie. She asks if he plays and he says not really. Sam asks Evie what the woman’s deal is that’s playing Dean (Moira). Evie says she’s been here a while and her sister is in a coma.

Sam goes into awkward question mode, and I have flashbacks to the earlier seasons. He asks about rotten eggs. Evie responds: Just Charlie… We pan over to Charlie and he’s playing pool badly. Sam then asks if she’s seen “little bundles” laying around. She says no, but she gets that he’s trying to figure the place out. Sam says places like this don’t exist for no reason, she answers that most people think it’s a godsend. She gives him information on a couple of people playing, they won at first, could have walked away winners, but kept playing until their luck ran sour. She repeats they should have walked away which is a clear warning for Sam who looks over at his brother who wins the game.

Back with Jack, he’s got an angel blade and is still after the Grigori. Unfortunately, the Grigori twigged he was being followed and now has Jack at blade point.

Back at the pool hall and Sam is trying to convince Dean they need to leave, and I’m trying not to be distracted by the picture in the scene behind them.

Dean (brandishing his coin at Sam): Come on man, I’m on a roll

Snarky!Sam: Dean, you won one game!

Sam thinks the place sucks you in and that if Dean keeps playing, he’ll lose and end up like Leonard. Dean convinces Sam who reluctantly allows him to have one more game.

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Dean finds his mark, which is Joey from the intro. We see Dean playing well and Joey asks what his name was again.

Dean: my name is Dean Winchester and I am going to kick your ass.

Sam: 😍 that’s my platonic soulmate husband brother

Joey smiles.

They talk as Dean clears the table. Turns out Joey used to work the bull riding circuit.

Dean (cocky smile): tell me, how was that?… corner pocket. He misses the shot

Joey (grinning): good times (he pots and all he can do is hide the cue ball behind another ball, giving Dean a very tricky shot on the 8 ball)… and some not so good.

Dean goes to take the shot and Joey challenges double or nothing if Dean misses. Sam doesn’t like it. Dean asks if Joey is trying to hustle him.

Joey: I thought you were going to kick my ass

Dean smiles and agrees to the deal, does a trick shot with the cue ball jumping over the other ball and potting the 8 ball.

Joey closes his eyes. Sam looks happy, then Joey says: a hell of a shot.

Dean watches as the coins glow green and Joey’s coin is now dull, and this is sad because even if Sam and Dean haven’t realised the implication yet, Joey is not long for this world. Joey leaves, and Sam and Dean follow. Joey congratulates Dean on the game yet again and says, “I guess you can’t hustle a hustler.” Sam’s concerned when Joey starts coughing. Turns out Joey is dying, he has cancer, he came to the pool hall to beat it, and Sam and Dean have finally caught up with me that this game sucks. This is the first time in a long time, I’ve felt anything for a character on this show that we only meet for a limited time in a single episode, so I’m going to kudos the writing and the guest star for this one. This is what happens when you actually put some characterisation into your writing.

Sam and Dean go back inside. Dean said the plan worked so they should hit the road.

Sam: What about everybody else?

Sam wants to stay and figure out how they can help them. Dean reminds him they are in a fight with God and they just got their mojo back. Sam challenges whether there’s even enough luck in the coin for them. Dean says they’ll give it a try by him going for a drive and if baby’s okay, they are leaving. End of.

Back with Castiel and he meets sheriff Jeb at the abandoned building Jack was captured in. A transient spotted Jack going into the building so called the police. Castiel asks Jeb if there are any other abandoned places around. Jeb tells him about a church.

Back with Sam and he’s talking to Charlie, who is apparently playing so his team can win the Super Bowl and part of me is 😂 and part of me is, I feel you my friend, because Canucks and the Stanley Cup, and desperate measures at this stage.

Sam: that’s great, it is, but is it really worth your life?

Me (picturing the Stanley cup being paraded through the streets of Vancouver): …Yes?!

The puppy dog eyes fail again, Charlie says “just one more game.” And goes back to playing

Evie says at least Sam tried but no one will listen. She says none of “us” are going anywhere. Sam asks if they are trapped here, if Evie was trapped here. She leaves rapidly.

Dean arrives back, baby’s dead again, he didn’t even make it out of the parking lot. Sam takes a look at the coin Dean slams down. He believes Dean should have won more luck than he did, given how many people Joey likely beat before Dean played him and all that accumulated luck should have gone to Dean when he won, but it doesn’t seem to. Sam thinks someone is stealing the luck, skimming off the top.

Dean: You mean like the house?

Sam (lifts coin showing head): her… I think

Dean takes the coin and reads: Atrox Fortvnta

Sam says she’s the Roman goddess of luck. So, Sam’s allowed to be smart as a plot contrivance this week? *cough* hot metal burns *cough*.

They go speak to Evie about who runs the place. She says she can’t help them. Sam asks why she warned him in the first place. Evie says so he would take his brother and go. Dean asks why Evie is there, does the god have something over her. Evie says she played and lost and is only alive because she lets her stay as long as she keeps working. Sam asks if the god is here, but Evie doesn’t know, she only talks to Pax and drops the revelation that Pax is the god’s son.

Back with Jack and the Grigori has injured him and holding him captive. He knows what Jack is and that he’s powerful. The Grigori wants to know why Jack killed his kind. The Grigori have their own frequency of angel radio. Me, 🙄 of course you do because easy plot device. Before his brother died, he called to the Grigori. He asks Jack if he did that to draw him out, to kill him too.

Back with Sam and Dean, Sam approaches Pax wanting to ask a question. While Pax is focused on Sam, Dean grabs him and holds him at knifepoint.

Sam (niceness gone): Where’s your mom?

Loved that bit

Pax doesn’t answer so Sam shouts “Fortuna.” Dean follows with, “We have your son”

Moira walks through the pool hall and we know she is now Fortuna.

Sam says they know she’s skimming luck and they want it back. Dean threatens to kill Pax if she doesn’t

Fortuna: well, you probably could, his daddy was human, but no

Pax (shocked pikachu face): Mom!

Fortuna: I’m sorry baby, I can always make more sons

Sam and Dean (shocked pikachu faces).

Uh oh, leverage gone. Dean releases Pax, but not before the blade cuts his throat a little.

Dean demands Fortuna to play him for it. She says she’s already played him and got a read on him. He’s just a “beach read”. Sexy, but skimmable.

Dean (how dare you face): beach read? lady, I’m Tolstoy

Fortuna laughs and says, “That’s very funny” and approaches Sam: this one here, now he could be interesting

Dean (Protective big brother mode activated): Wait, no, no, that’s…. Uh uh

Sam (I’m 36 years old Dean, not a kid anymore mode activated): Fine… Yeah, okay, but not for our luck. I’ll play for the lives of everybody in here.

Fortuna doesn’t agree, she says the deal is only for their luck and if they lose, she wants their lives. She wants to make an example of them.

The Grigori is torturing Jack, cutting his skin. Jack says he can’t kill him. There’s then expose on the Grigori feeding off souls, and this one feeds off children. I think I’m supposed to not feel sorry for the Grigori when Jack eats his heart, but I do have a few issues which I’ll come onto later. Jack looks to the side and it’s clear he catches something. The Grigori reaches for his sword and points it at Jack’s throat. He asks who told Jack that. He answers Death.

The Grigori senses someone behind him. Now given the Grigori are supposed to be elite and much more powerful than ordinary angels, I’m embarrassed for this one and have no idea how on Earth this Grigori managed to survive to being last of his kind as even Castiel despatched him fairly easily, without too much of a fight, but “new canon” I guess. 🤷‍♀️

With no tests whatsoever, Castiel releases Jack from his bonds. I’m presuming one of Castiel random powers of the week is being able to automatically tell it’s Jack. We get a Cass and Jack hug and I … don’t really care to be honest. I can’t watch Cass without viewing that awful scene in Purgatory so I’m over him.

Back at the pool hall, Sam breaks, potting 2 balls immediately. I love, love, love this next bit: as Sam lines up his next shot, we see Dean nodding in agreement, because yep, that’s the shot he would have went for too. Sam proceeds to knock down a couple more, Fortuna has said a couple of things, but Sam is focusing on the game. She asks why they need the luck so bad, girlfriend problems? Liver failure? (She looks at Dean here). Sam answers: “a curse by god” and misses the next shot.

Fortuna: Life’s a bitch and then you die

Me: Hey! That’s my philosophy!

Dean: THE god literally cursed us

Fortuna (sarcastic disbelief): You’ve met

Dean: Yeah, Little guy, squirrelly as hell

Fortuna: Yeah, that’s him… well, welcome to the club

Dean: the club?

Fortuna answers with exposition while winning the game. God created the world, but humans created the gods, kind of, which led to God creating the other gods. Dean asks why, which makes her angry and she misses the next shot. She says they were created to take the blame for anything that went wrong. That only worked for a while before his ego got the better of him, now he hides behind whatever religion pays the biggest syndication deals. She keeps talking about how pissed she is and that she’s holding a grudge. Sam meanwhile is quietly potting balls and winning the game. She realises this and shakes off her mood, “oh well, what can you do?”

Dean: we’re going to fight him

Fortuna: are you now? And when you lose?

Sam’s voice from off screen: we lose swinging

He then appears in shot and says “8 ball, corner pocket” and she realises the game is nearly over.

Sam lines up for the shot, looks at Dean briefly, then… he wins. I wasn’t expecting that, and Dean is happy too.

Fortuna (to Sam): you little minx, you got me talking!

Sam smirks

Fortuna: you’re good

Sam: I learned from my brother

Dean approaches: all right, you know the deal, even up

Fortuna offers to make it interesting, if they are going to fight God, that’s the stuff of heroes and they are going to need the luck of heroes. Hercules, some other people, she helped them all. Sam asks what the catch is. She says another game, double or nothing.

Dean: Double? That’s how the cowboy died.

Sam agrees to play, “but not for more luck,” he indicates the room, “for them. If I win, you have to let them go.”

Fortuna: I’m not stopping them

Sam: Okay, when I win, you have to give back the luck you stole, close up shop

Fortuna: What is with you and these losers? They’re nothing, they don’t matter

Sam: they matter to me

Dean: they matter to us

Everyone in the poolhall (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Fortuna agrees. She breaks, and it all goes downhill from there. Sam doesn’t even get to play a shot.

They lost. There’s silence

Fortuna: you challenged the goddess of luck in her own joint, what did you think was going to happen?

Me: pretty much this tbh, I’m actually surprised Sam won the first game

Dean: well, we had to try

Fortuna: well, that was stupid

My poor boys. They leave the poolhall.

Dean: I thought she was going to kill us

Sam: well she doesn’t have to, our luck will do that on its own … Dean, we can’t just…

Dean:… leave ‘em? Yeah, I know.

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Dean: all right, well let’s go get WiFi and see what kills Lady Luck, we’ll circle back

Sam’s agreeing when Evie comes out, followed by the other players. They ask her what happened. She says Fortuna shut it down. They ask why

Evie: Because of you, she said she thought your kind had gone extinct

Sam: Our kind?

Evie: Heroes, like the old days

Fortuna also gave her a message to pass on, “Don’t play Chucks game, make him play yours.

She hands Sam a coin which he somewhat reluctantly takes. He holds it in his closed fist as she walks away. He opens his hand and we see the coin glow green on his skin. Dean “grabby hands” Winchester snatches the coin, getting a glare from Sam and the coin glows green in his hand too.

They get into the car and Dean fires up the engine. “We’re back baby!”

Aww, Dean called Sam baby.

Me (sighing): platonic soulmate Husbands! 😍

Also me: You can take your “Castiel is a lamp” sub zero text and whack yourself over the head with it.

They drive away. And I’m left behind wondering if they’ve got their “normal” luck back or the supercharged hero luck that Sam said he didn’t want and that’s why he was reluctant to take the coin.

They arrive back at the bunker. Dean’s scratching lottery cards and doesn’t win. So much for the superhero luck.

Sam consoles his husband brother that they might not have won the lottery, but they have no car trouble, the credit cards work again, and Dean was able to eat back to back bacon double cheeseburgers, that didn’t kill him. So…

Dean: that was beautiful by the way… I’m just saying, would it have killed her to give us a little extra?

Sam: well, she thinks we’re really heroes, maybe they don’t get all the answers

Well hopefully that conversation answered my concern from earlier.

Cass appears, looking shifty (when doesn’t he tbh). They know something is wrong and Sam asks him. He steps aside and Jack appears. Jack dorky waves hello and we all melt and immediately forget he killed their mom and did some other really naughty stuff that at the very least should get him a time out. Apparently, Dean and Sam forget too. This scene is shot with Jack and Cass at one side of the reading room and Sam and Dean on the other.

Sam: Jack?

Castiel (to Sam): it’s really him

Sam walks over to Jack first and gets quicker as he reaches him and we get a Sam and Jack hug, and since I didn’t get one in season 14, I’ll ignore the mom killing, heart eating etc. for a few minutes and enjoy the hell out of this one. Yes, I’m fickle! But I loved this nougat eating baby before Dabb ruined him.

Dean walks across more slowly, reaches and grasps Jack behind his neck, staring into his face as if checking it’s really him. I think he’s struggling to see past the burnt-out eyes which was their last view of him. He looks briefly at Cass once. To me it’s a silent thank you (headcanon for bringing Jack back for Sam in particular), and an equally silent, you’re welcome. Jack looks a little apprehensive as obviously the last time he was alive, Dean was going to shoot him, stopped only by Sam.

They all have a beer at the map table, Sam asks Jack about eating hearts, so it’s good that hasn’t been hidden. Jack said he had to.

Dean (to Castiel): and you let him?

Castiel nods (likely waiting for the anger for doing the wrong thing)

Dean (shrugs): hmmm

And… that is not my Dean. They’ve turned him into a neutered house cat and idiots are calling it “growth”. And all I can hope is that his natural instincts fight their way through, I believe it’s wrong to trust Jack is okay eating hearts, even of ones that eat children’s souls and I hope we see that develop as we progress.

Sam: you could have called us

Jack: every day I wanted to come home, but I couldn’t

Dean: why not?

Jack: because if I don’t stay hidden, if I use my powers, my grandfather, he’ll know I’m back, and try and kill me… again… he’s afraid of me, and that’s why we had to wait.

Castiel: Billy kept him hidden in the empty, until Chuck went off world

Jack: she let me out when it was safe

Dean: safe to what? Eat a bunch of angel hearts?

Jack: safe to do what I have to.

Turns out the hearts were just the beginning, they made Jack strong, but not strong enough. If Jack follows her plan, he’ll get stronger and he’ll be able to kill god.

Sam and Dean (in winsync): bitch please, this is our show!

Not really, that was just me and we end on that note. I could wish we had ended on “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, but season 15 music budget. Sigh.

So, I have a few other issues with this episode, particularly with the Jack side of the storyline, off the top of my head;

1) I’m hoping we aren’t sweeping what he did in season 14 under a rug, a la Castiel.

2) I’m hoping we aren’t just going to support him eating hearts (even of bad angels) without fully investigating what this supposed plan is.

3) I’m struggling with the heart thing anyway. I don’t believe an angel has a heart to eat, only the human vessel does so I’m going to need an explanation on why eating human hearts is supposedly goring to make jack stronger, and why we don’t care about the human vessel

4) I’m struggling with how a lesser god can give back what God took away, even if that lesser god is the goddess of luck, God still trumps her.

Other than that, I think Death is bad now, or at least Billy’s version of death is. I think they changed course on wanting to kill the Winchesters a couple of seasons ago when they realised they could play a part in them reaping God. Possible reason, just being tired after all this time, and wanting it all to end. And it can’t end before Chuck dies. Possible power play.

I still think Chuck will die. I still think the Winchesters will become firewalls, not sure what Jack is, other than a toddler whose power needs to be bound until he can wield it responsibly, and Castiel is going to sacrifice himself at some point. And the less we say about Eileen, the better.

Next episode is up after Hellatus the welcome break from the caricature this show has become

#spn spoilers #15.11 #The Gamblers #episode review #episode recap #anti castiel #spn critical #anti saileen #anti eileen

20 notes · View notes