#so they feel the need to defend the creator to protect themselves from guilt

[zoobus]

I'm not normally a victim of FOMO tactics, nor do I usually let being late to the party stop me from chatting about a piece of media but I'm genuinely sad I didn't get into Obey Me/Nightbringer earlier. It makes me want to write a million essays but the disposable and decentralized nature of gacha kind of makes it feel like you missed your chance to talk about it. I keep coming across years old, unrepliable comments that I want to jump on sooo bad but I can't because the moment is gone and most of these people have likely moved on to less overtly money-hungry games.

Which sucks! because one essay I want to write in particular is how this game is extremely skilled in arousing your desire to create, to actively engage with the characters and worldbuilding, to do fandom shit, and I find this enormously fascinating in itself. The story isn't good but to a certain extent, it's not supposed to be; it functions as an elaborate set of writing/art/rp prompts for its audience to expand on and tailor to their needs.

And I think Obey Me does this well! Amazingly well. I find discussion of narrative structure fascinating, the study of how we define writing as effective, good, or as failures, so I'm drawn to this story full of contradicting lore, one-note characters, and half-finished plots. The story isn't good but that hardly matters because it's not here to be a good story; it's here to throw you into imagination boot camp. It compels you to speculate what it could be, what this character could be, what a slightly different tone would look like, what other people think about it. It feels distinct from the average popular show fandoms where, to an extent, creators congregate simply because that's where the people are. Creating for your own sake is nice and all but validation is usually a stronger force. Usually.

I keep coming across old high effort researched posts about abrahamic religions and occultism from fans setting themselves up for inevitable disappointment. I keep coming across creators leaving notes on their work like "I haven't written a thing in ten years, but,". I keep losing it over heartfelt posts defending x and y canon story decisions with their whole chest, oblivious to the fact that they're misremembering their personal tweaks/headcanons as what happened in the game, like it's seriously so cute when they're so passionate and completely wrong.

I have no idea if fandom actually plays a role in the lucrativeness of a franchise (though as a personal anecdote, I 100% started Obey Me after a single piece of horny Mammon fanart crossed my dash), but it makes more sense to me now, less a projection of wishful/haterful thinking from those with strong opinions about Fandom. Maybe it really does matter.

---

Other essays I missed the boat on:

A Casino Right in Your Home: goddamn is the pre/sequel's gacha obscene

Satan: how to put a mid character into S-tier with one simple trick (make him insane)

Sorry Belphie defenders but you're imagining a better psycho than you were given

Solmare added a shiny new rhythm game but didn't fix the now four year old coloring error on Levi's hands lmfaooo the disrespect is crazy

Remember when you saw the Nightbringer trailer of them glaring in bdsm gear with freshly blackened wings, and you thought "ah, so this takes place right after they fought god and lost. After they went to war to protect their sister only for her to die anyway. After one brother in particular saves someone, but not her, the focal point of the war. They will finally take these to their logical, guilt despair rage pain and grudge filled ends." And you were correct until that very last sentence? lol

Remember when the Ruri-chan event gave you the option to tell Levi you're not cheating on him and then the rest of the event was just making out with his brothers? Then it ends with you kissing him in front of them? Bring that energy back!!!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #niche effortposts #eh kinda. i spent time on it #anyway it's a game that makes you wanna write and draw things and all things considered I think that's pretty cool =)

[blulemonades]

The Training Scene

 Edited 8-21-21

Prompt Scene to the Series: Rising Sun

Description: Y/N and Jasper are in charge of training both the other Cullens and Uley Pack, how to fight an army of Newborns. Still on touchy ground, Paul realizes the cruel severity of his imprint previous life and the rest of the pack seem to gain more respect for the tiny leech.

Word count:1902

DISCLAIMER: I USED SOME OF THE DIALOGUE WRITTEN BY MEYER IN THIS PROMPT. I USED THEM AS A WAY TO FIX MY STORY IN WITH HER STORY MORE FLUIDLY.

Warnings: physical fighting, foul language, talk of death

a/n: Paul and the rest of the pack will be wolf form for most of this scene anything in Bold will be the conversation between the pack.

I avoided looking at anyone in the pack as they walked through the tree line. While my family gawked and stared at the large pack, I stood tensed, swallowing the pings and pangs of guilt I felt for not sharing this detail with my family. However this wasn't my information to give them.

Trying to refocus my thoughts towards helping Jasper with plans of training. It became hard to drift from the grey-silver wolf that held my shattered heart in his hands. Anger and Embarrassment still flooded through my system from our last conversation. I was hurt that he had thought so low of me and that he felt the need to scream at me in front of the whole pack.

I flinched as the memory of what I said popped back in my head. 

~

“Do you really think I wanted to be this monster?” I spun around to stare at him. Ignoring the eavesdropping teens behind me. Paul's face still held the ame disgust, as it did after Jacob told everyone of the newborn army.

“You honestly think that I asked to be this bloodsucking filth.” Paul's face flashed in shock at my phrasing.

" I had a life." I stressed the last word " A good life. With a doting husband, who I only recently found out, killed himself because he couldn't protect me." 

I never told Paul about Jonathan...or anything about my past because…Well he never seemed to care. Hell, Alice and Jasper are the only ones that even knew about Jonathan's suicide...maybe Edward but- \

Finally looking and registering the blank look that was Paul’s face now. I felt nothing but anger as I tried to bite my tongue from telling him anymore. He doesn't deserve to know about Jon. He doesn't get to use that against me like he uses everything else to attack me.

He just doesn't understand the fuckery that I've had to deal with. “ Did you know that one of the uhh-” I looked back at the ground “side efforts~” 

I almost laughed at my word choice. “Of being a leech is that you can’t kill yourself.” I could hear his heart skip a beat. “ Yeah... we can kill each other just not ourselves.”

A laugh escaped my throat, then another , then another. I shook my head, trying to pull myself back together. “And I know that because I tried every single method of the book."

“Even lighting myself on fire, did nothing but tickle me.”

"Y/n" I heard him breathe, then I felt the tiniest brush of a touch on the top of my shoulder. Jerking away from him, and looking back at his face. I saw the disgust that had laced in his expression and eyes were gone. In its place, was an expression of remorse. 

Full on laughing I tried to continue my speech, “It’s hilariously fucked up isn’t it” If I could cry I would be. I swallow the dry sob in the back of my throat. 

“Well my whole entire existence is fucked up actually.” I started to calm down. “ If it wasn’t, I would be 6 feet under right now.”  

“ Y/n” He started but I held up a hand to stop him, but he squeezed out “ It was a bad choice of word-.” 

"Of course!" I blew up. " Because you didn't know." I raised an eyebrow as he raised a hand to touch me again. He put it back down as when he saw the flames in my eyes. I continued "Because you never gave me the chance to explain to you what I went through. You just assumed that I asked for it ." 

"I'm done with having to defend myself, morally from you."   I turned and headed back to my vehicle, ignoring Paul's yells, as I slammed the car door. Bella would just have to get a ride from Jake. 

~

A wave of calmness hitting my system pulled me from the embarrassing memory. My eye shot up to Jasper, who was on the other side of her. He was still staring straight ahead. 

“Welcome” Carlisle spoke, I let my gaze settle on his relaxed stance out in the middle. My father has always amazed me with his calm appearance. 

"I know it must be a difficult thing for you to come." Then he went on to explain that Edward would be acting as a translator, so that way they don't have to phase if they don't want to.

“Thank you” Edward replied in a gruff tone. “We will only watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control.” I was thrilled more by that statement than I should be. I was hopeful that maybe I would be able to leave this place without a glance at a certain wolf.

“That is more than enough,” Carlisle smiled calmly. “My son Jasper” his right hand moved to gesture  “And daughter, Y/N '' his hand then shifting slightly to me, I nodded in acknowledgement to Carlisle gaze.

If I was still human, I would have had thousands of tiny goosebumps, up and down my arms right now. It felt like there were at least a thousand eyes on me.

"-have experience in this area. They will teach us how the newborns fight, and how they will be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style." I heard a low rumble among the wolves 

“They are different from you?” asked Edward. Or Sam? This is getting confusing already. Carlisle smiled, “How about I let them explain.” again gesturing toward Jasper and me before stepping back to stand next to Esme. Jasper and I both walked up from the back to where Carlisle stood in the middle. 

I took a quick glance at Jasper and knowing, he would want to talk more than I did but I promised to speak mainly to the wolves if he explained more to our family. So that meant this question was for me to answer. 

Directing and keeping my attention to Sam, I tried to stay unfazed as I spoke “Yes, as they are still very new to this life. The Newborns will be full of frenzy driven by the brute strength given to them from the blood that still lingers in their system."  

"The newborns will fight amongst themselves. As of today we know that their numbers sit at 20. Ten for us and ten for you, with that it shouldn't be too difficult. but it's highly likely that their numbers will either lower farther or raise. ”  A rumble of excitement seems to run through them. 

“We are happy to take more than our share. If necessary” Edward translated, I notice the change in the tone. I smiled, “We will have to see.”

“ What makes you two more qualified on this matter than any of the others?” Edward spoke again. 

 There was a rustle next to me as Jasper took a step forward. Arms behind his back, his stance reminded me of my first meeting with him after I changed, posed and ready for a fight. 

“Y/N and I were forced into this life for the same reason as these newborns were forced. Except developed a conscience that our creator-" spoke with clear disgust in his tone. " -did not have control over." 

I heard a small gasp behind me and a small rustling of feet behind me. Clearly Bella did not know this strange detail. Jasper began to pace. I always picked on him when he did this. 'Your military is showing', I would say. But right now, it was nothing short of intimidating how he stood. 

“We know how to defeat them because we know what it's like to be them.” “Thank you” Edward quickly cut him off. “We will watch now.” Nodding Jasper turned to face back to our family. 

“There are 2 things you need to know, 1. Don’t let them get their arms around you; they will crush you instantly. 2.” He stopped turning back to face the wolves.

I flashed a look at Sam, the black wolf stood taller staring back at the ex-major. 

“ Don’t go for the obvious kill “ Jasper spoke clearly emphasizing each word wanting them to understand him. “ They will be expecting that. “ Jazz relaxed “ and you will lose. “ Sam let out a huff in response. 

“ Y/N and Emmett, you are up first.” I heard a mumble pass down the wolf line as everyone spread back leaving me and Emmett at different ends of the field.

“This should be good” Emmett spoke now, seeming to warm himself up, rubbing his hands together. 

“Emmett relies on his strength very much like the newborns.” Jasper said “ so he will be a good example for you.” He looked between Emmett and I. "Start whenever you are ready." I smiled at Em “Don’t hold back” cockily,  he let out a bearish laugh at ending it with a smirk. “Not in my nature” and he charged.

I felt the wind as he chucked me in the air, quickly catching myself in a landing spin charging back at him. It seemed not even a long second had passed before I had his large head smashed into the ground. 

“Again” Emmett growled. Smiling, I pushed away from him. I tried to ignore the huffs and snorts coming from the wolves' side.

“Don’t lose your focus” I told him “Following your emotions is only making your moves more predictable.” He nodded, standing up and heading over to his end of the field again. I nodded toward Jasper who agreed with my assessment, gesturing to continue with Emmett.

Taking my place again, Emmett charged and within the next minute he was already calling for another rematch. 

"Don't turn your back on your enemy." Jasper spoke with an eye roll. 

**Paul’s Pov**

"Y/n is kicking his ass." laughed Jared. Silently laughing with him I watched as Y/N jumped on top of the big Cullen twisting him mid-air and slamming him into the ground again. 

"That she is, " agreed Sam lightly chuckling.

Watching her first stand across the field from that large Cullen made my insides twist in worry; however, as I watched her pin him in no time flat, it seemed to bring a sense of pride in me. It only made me feel even more guilty. I shouldn't be happy to finally see her again. I didn't deserve it. Not after what I said about her.

"God, please just apologize to her already" spoke Leah, before I could reply Sam growled softly

" Leah," he warned.

"Shut up" I replied harshly. "I'll keep my thoughts to myself."

"What? I am only trying to help! Out of all of us. I'm the one who knows best how to handle the emotional range of a woman." Quick to defend herself, I realized Leah made sense.Before anyone could really respond to her statement. We watched as Gruff-man walked off the field. Leaving only Y/n on the field...undefeated. Edward stepped up, Jacob tensed as Edward's death flashed in his thoughts

"Jake" Sam barked

Watching all the Cullen's fight each other it was clear to anyone that both Y/N and Jasper were the only experienced ones. Either of them lost a fight with any of the others. It made me wonder…

"We're done for the day"

------

#paul lahote x reader #twilight wolf pack #paul lahote #embry call x reader #paul lahote imagine #the twilight saga #twilight #twilight embry #twilight sam #twilight leah #twilight paul #twilight eclipse #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanart #twilight fandom #uley pack #forks washington #twilight edward #twilight jasper #twilight cullens #twilight volturi #twilight victoria #twilight new moon #twilight breaking dawn

[victoriareyloficlists]

26/11/2020 Additions to Reylo Work Environment

These fics have been added to the Enemies-to-Lovers list located here.

Boss/Employee Relationship

The Christmas Conundrum by Zoa (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After getting fired from her job right before the holidays, Rey is accidentally mistaken for an abandoned baby’s mother and is forced to take care of him. Ben Solo is the boss guilted into giving Rey her job back. Confusion, chicanery, and romance ensue.) that's where you take me by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben asks his daughters nanny Rey to live with them during quarantine so she can help take care of her while he works remote. Lots of domestic proximity and mutual pining ensues.) Clumsily Yours by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is injured at work. She is shocked when her boss Ben Solo carries her to his car and takes her to hospital much to her embarrassment. He is over-bearing and over-protective of her during her stay and Rey doesn’t understand...although it is sort of sweet in a way...could it be that the big bad executive Ben Solo actually likes her?) Threads by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is a cantankerous boss known for throwing away any gift his underlings give him. When newbie Rey decides to knit everyone a scarf for the start of fall, she's warned that Solo will not appreciate it. Everyone is surprised when he shows up the next day wearing it.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 5 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben reluctantly helps his friend Kaydel pick up lingerie. In the dressing room, he runs into his intern Rey as she's trying out some items.) You Make Me Weak by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey decides to faint to get her boss's attention.) Not your omega by riseofskyloren (AO32020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Johnson and Ben Solo cannot stand each others, she's way too joyful and he's just so cynical. They're definitely not mate material, not a chance. But what happened when the person you despise the most in the entire world becomes the one your body's craving?) Anonymous by andabatae (AO32019  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: At the annual Halloween office party, Ben and Rey hook up, but neither one knows who the other is because of their costumes.) He Made It Through the Wilderness (somehow he made it through) by LovesBitca8 (AO32019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has a one night stand with Ben Solo, her hot, moody, and cocky coworker. It's the most awkward lay of her entire life.) Devil Spawn by OptimisticBeth (AO32020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After a hot anonymous encounter at The Annual Organa Halloween Ball, Rey realizes she slept with the horrible guy who is her new boss. But he doesn't recognize her! And he asks her to track down his mystery hookup, which she totally agrees to do (wink wink, haha, she's lying). But then she finds out she's pregnant! ) Unmasked by SageMcMae (AO32018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey meets a masked guy at Maz's annual Halloween party, she is instantly smitten. Her mystery man is perfect -- compassionate, protective and a dedicated Star Wars fan. It's like he was made for her. There's only one problem. She doesn't know Kylo Ren is actually her asshole coworker, Ben Solo.) Miss Johnson & the Professor by ElegyGoldsmith (AO32020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Professor Ben has his TA Rey accompany him to a conference in Japan but she accidentally booked a single room.) If You Can't Beat Em'.....Join Em' by PrinceofDarkness15 (AO32020  Rated E Incomplete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "I really fucking hate you." She grits. "Oh, sweetheart believe me." says Kylo with a sensual smirk that makes her cunt clench. "The feeling is entirely mutual.") The Elevator by someonesbeenhere (AO32020  Rated M Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: A dirty one-shot turned multi-chapter fic. Hard working Tech Support Rey is working late one evening when she gets stuck in a broken elevator with a complete stranger. He manages to distract terrified Rey through some rather promiscuous means. Unfortunately for Rey, her seductive saviour isn’t a random from another department but none other than the CEO of the First Order company, Ben Solo himself.) Coworkers

Lizzy Solo by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Its bring your kids to work day and little Lizzy Solo meets Rey for the first time. "Are you the same Rey that my dad told Uncle Hux he was half in love with?") A Child and a Mortgage by AverageEpaulet (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It was bring your child to work day. Whoever came up with that bright idea had a special place reserved in hell for all Ben Solo cared. He loved his daughter, more than anything, but that didn't mean he liked flaunting her around like a trophy with ”Got laid at least once” engraved on it.) A Reylo Christmas Carol Chapter 2 by altargaryen (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey find themselves under some mistletoe.) A Reylo Christmas Carol Chapter 3 by altargaryen (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben wants to know what Rey wants for the office Secret Santa.) In Bloom by Celia_and (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The flowers that bedeck her skin don’t lie. Ballet dancer Rey is in love with her partner, Ben. But the years go by and his skin stays resolutely, devastatingly blank. He doesn’t love her. But when his hands are on her body, she can pretend.) Spending Valentine's Day Solo by jyn-z-solo (jynzandtonic) (AO32020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has the hots for her coworker, Ben, and decides to send him a Valentine's Day card. While at the shop choosing one, she bumps into him. Too embarrassed to confess it’s for him, she lies about the intended recipient. Ben is in love with Rey and gutted the card is for someone else!) let's taco-bout it by kylorithic (AO32020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey invites Ben Solo, resident HR grump, to eat tacos. things escalate from there.) User Not Found by violethoure666 (AO32018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: It's not Rey's fault that her computer literally never works, but tell that to the grumpy IT guy who never leaves the basement.) Give in To Me by LoveofEscapism (AO32018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: At the office Christmas party, Rey has one too many wines and ends up spilling her darkest secret to none other than her sexy co-worker Ben Solo. Hilarity and some sexy bathroom shenanigans ensue.) Sensual Storytime by andabatae (AO32019  Rated E Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey Johnson starts a new job, her initially antagonistic relationship with Ben Solo from IT turns into friendship... and maybe something more. Little does she know he also moonlights as Kylo Ren, the creator of her favorite audio erotica. One day at the office, worlds collide, and she realizes the sweater vest-wearing nerd of her dreams is also the tattooed fantasy man she listens to while getting off every night...) Ben, You Ignorant Slut Chapter 1 by JJJJ12 (AO32019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Johnson is forced to sit across from irritating salesman Ben Solo. He’s arrogant, prone to temper tantrums, but worst of all, good at his job. To complete the prank of all pranks, she sends him a love letter hoping to turn his world upside down.) Tits v. Porny by jeeno2 (AO32019  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo and Rey Johnson are attorneys, working together to defend their client against claims of plagiarism and copyright violation brought by a published author of original A/B/O fiction. It involves them having to read a lot of online porn and leads to some pretty awkward moments.) Trapped by jeeno2 (AO32019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey stares at him as she processes what he’s telling her. Then, in spite of herself, she starts to laugh. Ben Solo, the nightmare of every junior associate and paralegal in this firm, somehow got himself stuck in the copier. And now he needs her help to get free.) Client Relationship

Matchmaker, Matchmaker by meeda (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima Compatibility Application Results - NEAR PERFECT MATCH If her brain wasn’t so busy being shocked, Rey probably could’ve calculated how much of a statistical anomaly this result truly was. There in black-and-white was the name of the unlucky bastard that had the honor of being her match: Benjamin Organa Solo.) say it with a braid by reylo_mo (writermo) (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An AU where hairdresser Ben loves to style actress Rey’s hair in braids for events. There’s even a particular type he always goes for.One day Leia texts to ask him why he hasn’t brought his fiancée over for dinner. Thing is... he’s been giving Rey Alderaanian wedding braids.)

#Reylo #reylo fanfic

[darkpoisonouslove]

N, P, S and X for the ask game :D?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I’m gonna do this for the OUAT fandom since I’m most active there

1. I’d love to see more comments on fics since I know how important that is for keeping the writer behind the story motivated. Now, I write myself and tbh my OUAT fics get a lot less reviews than the fics I write for some of my other fandoms. And it’s not just me. A lot of other writers (granted, not only in the OUAT fandom since that’s more of a universal problem across all the fandoms) are discouraged by the few comments and reblogs they get. Even reblogging the fic and screaming in the tags makes a writer’s day, believe me. And if you don’t want the fanfic on your blog for whatever reason, tumblr has the option of replies. That way you can still let the writer know you enjoyed their fic while keeping it off your blog. Boom, everyone’s happy and everyone gets more fics. Honestly, you don’t have to write novels in the comments. Just a short “I love it” can make a difference for the writer so I’d like to implore everyone who's reading this to take the extra 10 seconds to drop a comment to the fanfic writer whose fic you enjoyed. It costs you so little while it has the power to make someone happy for years in the future.

2. On that note, I’d like to see more engagement in the fandom as a whole. Now that the show is over, we run the risk of falling apart as a fandom. I don’t think the chances of that are very high but they’re still there. And that scares me to death because OUAT means so much to me (it has been so for almost 4 years now) and now that it’s over, the fandom is the only thing I have left. I don’t necessarily feel like there’s been a significant change in the interactions inside the fandom, but I think it would do everyone some good if we were more engaged with each other’s works. I know it’s hard to keep up with everything that’s going on and I’m far from demanding it from anyone. No, what I mean with this is that we as a community can offer more by barely changing anything about the way we engage with fandom content. It doesn’t take a lot. A comment on a fic you liked, a reblog on that gorgeous piece of art you just saw, a passing thought in addition to a headcanon you read - stuff like that. Small gestures of support can make the difference. And you don’t have to spread yourself thin over the activity of the entire fandom. Just be a little more engaged in the circles you’re in.

3. I’d like to see more consideration. It’s totally okay to fawn over some fanfic or fanart and it’s natural to want the creator to make more of it, but you should be careful with your requests. It’s common courtesy to first check if the creator is willing to make more of it before you start begging them to do so. Every creator likes to see that there’s interest in their works, but it’s a little overwhelming when someone demands more from you on a project that you don’t really feel like continuing. This might be a personal thing, but I feel a bit guilt-tripped when someone is pleading with me to do something that they desperately need of me. Especially when I’ve already stated my opinion on the matter. There are ways to encourage creators to make more content without coming off as demanding. Please, master those ways. (I’m sorry if this is too ranty; it’s just something that’s been bothering me in the last few weeks).

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

This got way too serious even for my own liking so let’s brighten the mood a little with a happy AU. A Curious Archer Animal AU which also draws from Beauty and the Beast to be exact.

Alice is a nymph who sees a man with a bow and arrow who’s trying to hit a little fox. She blasts him with her magic and knocks him out, just barely saving the fox from a deadly shot. It still gets wounded though and Alice takes it in her care. She brings it to the cottage where she lives to nurse it back to health but there’s something extraordinary about the fox. Alice uses her magic and figures out what the problem is. The fox is actually a girl and via her magic Alice finds out that her name is Robin and she was turned into a fox by Alice’s own mother - Gothel. Robin came across Mother Nature and got herself cursed because of her insufferable attitude. She’s not being any more pleasant when in Alice’s company. She breaks things around the cottage and scares other animals away. She even hunts a little bunny even though Alice has already taken care of her dinner. However, Alice’s relentless gentleness and her caring attitude start rubbing off on Robin and she changes over time. Meanwhile, Alice is looking for a way to turn Robin back into a human but finds nothing other than dead end after dead end. Finally, when she’s tired from the lack of progress, she goes to confront her mother and ask her to turn Robin back into a human. Gothel warns her to get rid of the fox and forget about it. Otherwise, she’ll take her powers away. Alice doesn’t back down, though, which results into her powers being sealed away by Gothel. She loses consciousness from the spell and falls to the ground, dropping Robin in the process. The fox worriedly licks Alice’s cheek, trying to wake her up, when a rainbow glow radiates from both of them. Robin is turned back into a human and Alice wakes up with all of her powers back since True Love’s kiss broke the curses put on both of them. Alice uses her powers to turn Gothel into a willow to make sure that she won’t harm anyone anymore since Robin was far from the only one who got cursed by Gothel. Alice takes the position of the leader of the nymphs and the new Mother Nature and she and Robin live happily together in the woods.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I’ve mentioned this before but I think it’s worth mentioning again because I just love it so much and I know you love Zelena and I’m in such a Zelena mood today (I just made a video about her).

I headcanon that Zelena took self-defense classes after she lost her magic and that’s why she was able to defeat Jack/Hansel so easily. I think it makes sense for her to have considered other ways of self-defense since her magic was gone and she wasn’t a fully redeemed villain when it happened so there certainly were people who wanted to get back at her for something. And without magic she’d be defenseless against any possible new villain (and lbr it’s Storybrooke; there’s always a new villain). She wanted to be able to protect both Robin and herself since she didn’t want Robin to grow up the way she had - without a mother. Robin had already lost her father and Zelena wouldn’t allow her to lose her mother too. So she learned how to defend herself even without her magic.

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Regina Mills (OUAT)

Zelena Mills (OUAT)

Robin Mills (OUAT)

Ruby Lucas (OUAT)

Kathryn Nolan (OUAT)

Loki (MCU)

Gamora (and Nebula) (MCU)

Phil Coulson (MCU & Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Griffin (Winx Club)

Shego (Kim Possible)

Pretty much all of these can defend themselves but, heck, I love them to death and would defend them regardless.

Wow, this got so long, but it was funny and challenging, and I liked answering the questions.

#ask #intothewickedwood #once upon a time #ouat #curious archer #alice jones #robin mills #gothel #au #zelena

[imperiuswrecked]

Hello, I don't read comics much but I was hoping to learn more about Namors character. Someone got me a marvel encyclopedia years ago but I think it's better to ask a fan of the character directly. He seems very interesting, thank you so much ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉﾞ

Thank YOU! I love chatting about my favorite salty fish man so your question is a gift!

Namor is in essence a man caught between two worlds, never fully accepted by either and forever trying to find a balance between his people and within himself. His journey has always been that he is an outsider trying to find his place in the world. He is a protector of the oceans and its creatures and people.

He is an honest, arrogant, short tempered, cocky, snarky asshole. Yet Namor is hiding a heart that feels too much. Namor never gives up, ever, he has fought his whole life to protect those under his care and he has his own moral code. He is regarded as an anti-hero because he is willing to do things heroes would not so long as he believed it was the right thing to do. He has a high sense of honor and keeps his vows.

Namor was created by Bill Everett in 1939 during the time when superheroes were just coming into the imaginations of creators, he came after DC’s Super Man, who is the first superhero in comics, but Namor is the very first Anti-Hero. He is Marvel’s first hero and the first ever comic book royalty. The Sub-Mariner was the first character to fly, and is also thought to be the first bi-racial character because of who his parents were. He is also the first underwater hero and the first mutant.

His mother was Princess Fen, the daughter of Emperor Thakorr of Atlantis. His father was a human, the Sea Captain Leonard McKenzie. Captain McKenzie was guiding an expedition in Antarctica and used dynamite to break up the ice, unknown that the detonations caused destruction in the underwater city below. Princess Fen was sent to investigate the cause and met and fell in love with McKenzie, they married but she was taken back to Atlantis by her father’s men and believed that McKenzie had died in the struggle. 

She gave birth to her son whom she called Namor which in Atlantean means ‘Avenging Son’. Namor was not born with blue skin like all the other Atlanteans. (fun fact: Namor is Roman backwards! his creator wanted a regal sounding name and he wanted Namor to fly so he gave him wings on his ankles)

Namor from the beginning was different from other comic characters because of how human he was. He makes mistakes, he tries to learn, he has a love for the world and a serious mistrust of people. He is a flawed character.

Namor is a prince of the seas but when he was younger his grandfather banished him and his mother Princess Fen because Namor was born a half-breed, and as a punishment to Fen for daring to love a surface man. He returns to Atlantis at the age of ten and from there it is shown he is faster, stronger and better than his peers. However he faces and fights against prejudice all of his life from both Atlanteans and Humans because they do not trust him. Molded as a weapon for the protection of Atlantis he grows up extremely distrustful of humans.

In his first comic appearance he is puzzled by two surface men and he thinks they are robots sent to harm his people, so in defending his people, he kills them. Namor realizes they are humans and regrets his rash decision. That is something that is a recurring feature. Namor is very rash at times and will always rush into action first. However he is smart and is skilled with languages.

Namor always stands up for those who are weaker who need his protection. He hates bullies and those that prey on the weak. He is very serious about his throne and the people of Atlantis. His soul is that of an adventurer like his father. When he loves, he loves very deeply. Namor is usually willing to give his enemies a second chance. He has a love of animals that others would see as scary or dangerous, he doesn’t make friends easily but does have a few close friends, and usually they have to prove themselves to him. He is a character with which one does not fuck.

One of my favorite comics was when Namor was trying to deal with the death of his cousin. (Marvel Comics Presents (2007) #7) He is angry and full of guilt.

Namor has such a long history and has changed with the times but he is also timeless. He is such a unique character and I love him so much because he really does care but his heart is hidden beneath so many layers of salty attitude.

If you were looking for comic recs I have a few lists. I’m currently working on a huge master list but since I’m still reading through all his comics it’s not done yet, however these are:

Best Comics to know Namor

Namor the Sub-Mariner Comic Recs

Other asks and metas about Namor

#namor #namor mckenzie #namor the sub-mariner #marvel comics #sub-mariner #meta #long post #thanks for asking! #Anonymous

[beneaththetangles]

Guest Post: Invaders of the Rokujouma and Strength in Weakness

Welcome back JeskaiAngel, one of our regular guest contributors here on Beneath the Tangles. Today, he takes a deep dive into a light novel series we recommend—Invaders of the Rokujouma!?

I didn’t expect to encounter deep, encouraging thoughts about the nature and origin of true strength in a light novel, but… I recently started reading the light novel series Invaders of the Rokujouma!?. It’s partly Stardf29’s fault for a post about it on Twitter, and partly the fault of J-novel Club for making the first NINETEEN volumes of the series available for free (seriously, why are you reading me instead of them?). I quickly devoured, well, all nineteen of them and now eagerly wait for more to be translated into English.

In the course of my madcap novel-devouring spree, I was impressed by how insightfully the series explored the concept of strength. If you’re not familiar with the series, hmm, let’s say it starts out being about a high school kid living on his own and trying to defend his apartment from a ghost, alien invasion, mole people, and cosplayers, and gets more awesome from there. The protagonist ends up facing and defeating all manner of threats to the well-being of his friends and apartment. While the topic of strength comes up several times, there’s an especially deep conversation about it in vol. 14.

Protagonist Koutarou’s landlord, Shizuka, mostly seemed to be a normal human for the first thirteen volumes, albeit one highly skilled in martial arts. Then *spoilers* it turns out she is host to the astral projection of a giant magic dragon and receives said dragon’s strength. Shizuka discovers this when she tries to save a child from a fire similar to the one in which her parents died. She finds herself unable to pull off the rescue, only for Uncle Dragon to reveal himself to her and empower her to save both her own life and that of the kid.

Though the books are incalculably superior to the anime, I concede that the anime is a convenient source for images

Afterward, Shizuka is grateful for Uncle Dragon’s help, but also suffers a crisis of confidence. After years and years of training her body to be as strong as possible so that she could protect others, she still wasn’t strong enough to deal with the problem on her own and had to rely on someone else. “In the end, I still couldn’t save anyone, just like when dad and mom died. So I’m disappointed that I haven’t grown at all…” Landlord-san laments. Feeling that all her training was meaningless, she expresses envy of Koutarou (who, among other achievements, accidentally became the most famous knight in the entire history of an alien civilization). Shizuka says, “I’d like to learn the secret behind being a legendary hero.”

Koutarou’s response shocks his landlord: “According to your way of thinking, I’ve never saved anyone with just my own strength before.” As she starts to object, Koutarou declares that he’s “[A]lways borrowing everyone else’s power to fight.” The only strength Koutarou can claim as his own is moderate skill with a sword. But someone else gave him his regular sword and his high-tech armor. Another character gave him his magic sword. A third person gave him what is basically a magic gauntlet. A fourth gave him some psychic abilities… You get the idea. In every one of his battles, Koutarou owed his success to weapons, skills, and powers that others provided.

Koutarou points out that in terms of basic physical strength Landlord-san is already stronger than he is, and says he can only offer one piece of advice: “What you need right now is to be able to honestly rely on others.” He confesses that he used to think it was “disgraceful” to need others and not be independent, but learned by experience that only by borrowing others’ power could he accomplish anything. “I have people I have to protect no matter how. And I need power to be able to do that. I don’t care whose power that is, because I don’t have room to be picky.” Self-reliance might salve his ego, but it would leave him incapable of making any difference in the lives of those he cared about. Koutarou could receive and fully use the strength of others only because he first accepted his own weakness. As the narrator puts it, “[h]e had something he wanted to protect more than his pride.”

As Shizuka ponders Koutarou’s words, she realizes that her tenant wasn’t strong because of his weapons and powers, “He was strong because he acknowledged that he was weak.” And nothing before this did, that quote especially is reminiscent of a Bible verse or three. Faced with some unspecified problem, the apostle Paul prayed repeatedly that God would remove it. In response, Jesus told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Thus, Paul said he determined to “boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me…For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12.9-10). Paul’s personal weakness provided the perfect venue for God to display far greater power.

In John 9, we find the hilarious story of Jesus healing a man who was born blind (seriously, I dare you to read this story and then tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor). Jesus uses the physical blindness of the man he healed as a metaphor for spiritual blindness. When some of his opponents, the Pharisees, scoff that they aren’t blind, “Jesus said to them, ‘If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say, ‘We see,’ your guilt remains’” (Jn. 9.41). Elsewhere, Jesus observes that those who think they are well don’t visit a doctor. And in Rev. 3.17, addressing the believers in Laodicea, Jesus says, “You say, ‘I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,’ and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.” We can’t accept the help we need while clinging to pride and self-righteousness. We can’t enjoy the strength God offers if we insist on relying on ourselves for everything. A sense of arrogant independence that denies our true weakness will keeping us from trusting others – God above all – the way we need to.

Jesus’ answer when Paul asked about his “thorn in the flesh” was hardly the first time God used weakness as an occasion for power. God brought about salvation fall mankind through a man being crucified, even though the world found that the cross disgraceful and foolish. In ancient times, crucifixion was considered an especially humiliating and degrading form of execution. This is part of what Paul was getting at when he wrote, “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men…God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong” (1 Cor. 1.25, 27).

Unlike Koutarou, we have no friendly ghosts to grant us psychic abilities or alien princesses to provide us with powered armor, but we do have access to one even mightier who is willing to empower us. But just like Koutarou, we need humility in order to be able to trust someone else for our strength. Accepting our own weakness can challenging. In some ways, it’s more comfortable to cling to a delusion of self-sufficiency. I (and probably most of you, O readers mine) live in a society that prizes that personal independence, glories in so-called “rugged individualism,” and believes that reliance on anything outside ourselves should be considered a regrettable stopgap at best. Moreover, culture often cloaks its pride-promoting messages in pseudo-virtuous rationalizations, making it even trickier to recognize pride in ourselves.

Chronic illness, both physical and mental, has forced me to look at just how weak I really am. For God to aid me in my weakness today is merely a continuation of how he has worked many times before. The scriptures are full of stories in which people who trusted God rather than relying on themselves “were made strong out of weakness” (as Heb. 11.34 puts it). Nothing has changes since Yahweh, speaking of himself, declared:

“He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for Yahweh shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isa. 40.29-31)

I’m weak. That’s just how it is. But I don’t need to stay weak. I just need to trust my Almighty Creator and let go of my pretensions of independence.

Koutarou easily accepts the reality of ghosts, mole people, and extraterrestrials, but struggles with how unrealistic the idea magic is.

The Afterword of vol. 19 further contributes to Invaders of the Rokujouma!?’s exploration of true strength. A character named Yurika has finally come into her own and proven herself extremely strong. Oh, and she’s not just strong, she’s also a prodigy, a genius when it comes to magic. Despite being incredibly powerful, she began the story as the most immature, lazy, whiny, cowardly member of the entire (rather large) cast. Her weakness of character made her what the author calls a “dysfunctional magician” despite having access to phenomenal cosmic power. (Hmm, is it coincidence that she also ends up with an itty-bitty living space inside a wardrobe?) Only after Yurika undergoes many volumes of character development and becomes more loving and courageous is she able to start using her magic to its full potential. The author explains that this was by design – he wanted Yurika to be extremely strong, but making her too capable at the outset would have disrupted the story. Instead of limiting how much power Yurika had, the author used her character flaws to limit on how she used her magic. A similar blending of assets and flaws happened for most of the story’s characters, the author adds. The only member of the main cast with no particular flaws or weaknesses is Kiriha – the one character with no supernatural abilities or overpowered weapons of her own. In different ways, she is both the weakest and the strongest.

Yurika’s character arc – and her contrast with the perceptive and insightful yet physically weak Kiriha – demonstrates of two more points about true strength. First, prideful self-sufficiency isn’t the only the flaw that can keep us from being powerful. Second, while some weaknesses of character can largely nullify other strengths we may possess (as in Yurika’s case), there are also forms of weakness that can coexist alongside great power. Yurika wielded powerful magic but for many volumes was still the weakest member of the cast. The strongest man who ever was or will be let himself be crucified, and you can be sure that while he hung there in pain, naked, bleeding, and gasping for breath, he didn’t look strong at all. But Jesus’ physical weakness in that moment only serves to highlight his incredible strength of character, trust, and love. Going to the cross was an act of weakness, in a sense, but also a display of unfathomable strength. Similarly (though to an infinitely lesser degree), Kiriha’s relative weakness in combat doesn’t prevent her from possessing inner strength.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with letting my weaknesses define me. I look at my inability to do something, or my inability to do something well, or even my inaccurately perceived inability to something well, and conclude that I am, as a person, weak. I look at areas where I struggle spiritually and conclude I’m a horrendous sinner. I end up defining my self-image based on weakness. Invaders of the Rokujouma!? offered me, and I hope you as well, a helpful correction. These books serve as a reminder that strength comes from others and that a lack of inherent personal strength isn’t a problem. These books are a reminder that character flaws can get in the way of strength but don’t wholly negate it, and by growing in character, I can make greater use of strength I already possess. Finally, the stories of Koutarou, Shizuka, Yurika, and the others serve as a reminder that unlike weakness of character, one may be physically weak and still have access to undiminished strength.

“Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isa. 4

Interested in checking out Invaders of the Rokujouma!? Check out to the links below for Volume 14, referenced in the first half of this piece, and volume 19 from the second half, or if you haven’t started at all, volume 1!

#anime #light novels #christianity #invaders of the rokujouma!? #rokujouma no shinryakusha!? #koutarou satomi #shizuka kasagi #yurika nijino #kiriha kurano #strength #guest post #articles #Author: Jeskai Angel

[sleeplessinsiswati]

Create Heaven Here—My Story

For the record, this probably should have been the first “official” post for this blog. My bad, I’m a learn-as-you-go type so I’ve been messing around and BOOM well, here we are.

*clears throat* ahem...

When I was young I wanted to be a writer. I always dreamed of being a writer; of my words mattering to someone. The unique ability of being able to eloquently articulate thoughts and touch someone else deeply was nothing short of a poetic wonderland in my childhood imagination. Now I am older, and I realise that words, these words are all that I have to give. I once believed that this was not enough; that the sum of who I am had to add up to more than what I can say about this life, or what I have seen of it. I now understand that it does not have to be more than this so much as it has to be true, no matter if the impact of those words is great or small. I am writing this because I wanted my first post in country to be about me; here I will paint an in-depth portrait of who I am and why I am here.

________________________________

It is a common theme in stories originating from the continent of Africa that history is intertwined with mythology, and so too the story of my life is told. Before I was born, my father wanted to name me Shaka Zulu in honour of the infamous, Southern-African warrior. My mother protested, worried that I would endure ridicule and shame because of a lack of understanding from other children or teachers. And with that wisdom, I was instead named after her, Desmond—the son of Desiree. If only they had saw fit to ask the Creator to not give me the soul of a warrior since it was decided I would no longer be receiving the name. I was born with asthma. Mom would later tell me that it was because even before I was born the evil of this world wanted to steal my breath, to take my words.

In early childhood, I found it hard to have a voice for myself. As a matter of fact, for the first year and a half of my life my parents did not think that I could talk at all; my older brother, Gerald, would always speak for me. Whatever he liked, I liked; whatever he wanted, I wanted. It wasn’t until one fateful Sunday School class where there was an option of cheese or peanut butter and jelly crackers that I had spoken publicly at all. With whatever self-esteem I could muster up in my infantile body I stated very clearly, and to the surprise of all in attendance, that I wanted peanut butter and jelly crackers. That would be my first fight; my brother wanted me to have the cheese crackers. From then on my life would be a series of advocating for myself or on behalf of others, and willingly paying the price no matter the cost.

I got into a good number of fights as a child. I was more passionate than I was “boy”. I had a spirit of fire and wind; free, scorching, and bold. I went from unspeaking and timid to outspoken and determined. Dont ask me what I was determined to do, though. To this day, I do not know what I was so serious, so keen on grasping at prepubescence. I was raised in the church like most Southern Louisiana, Black boys. It was here that I was able to find comfort and a sense of pride. Along with the classroom, the sanctuary was a place where my words were accepted; it was a place where intelligence and passion could meet, and where adults were impressed and were quick to take promising young pupils under their wing. Many teachers spoke highly of my performance in the classroom, and so did ministers at my place of worship. Unfortunately for me, there was a great degree of protection that was in the church setting that was not remotely available in an inner-city elementary school with a magnet component.

I could never understand at the time, from the background which I came, why “Church Boy” was an insult. Honestly, it didn’t bother me so much as the implications that came with it. Implications like that I could not defend myself; that even if I could not, that I had parents who would quickly take up for me; that I was weak and afraid of a world that was unknown to me; that someone else had the right to take these things from me. These statements were made between curled lips and clenched teeth and clenched fists; from smacked lips and cold stares I learned that having two parents in one home and having an identity rooted in church life were things to be snickered at. With those snickers came threats, boys posturing themselves to be perceived as men; willing to play at absolute dominant power in the face of what seemed like a helpless Christian kid. And with that, I let those assholes eat my fists. Never one to back down from a fight, I got in more fights in and out of school between my elementary and high school years than I care to remember, in and out of school. I lost many of them, I won some. One thing I never did was back down. I would be felt, I would be heard, I would be respected.

This philosophy came to frustrate my parents who constantly reinforced a message of choosing battles. Though I felt an angst from the outside world, there was no difference in emotion concerning the place that I called home. My mom has always been a jewel in my mind; her beauty, poise, and radiance will never fade and will always be priceless. My dad, my protector; a strong tower and defender of his family, which for him was his pride and joy. En lieu of these praises I now sing, the truth is as a child I felt very much alone and afraid. My dad would often invalidate the words I would say as foolish or thoughtless, and it was a rare sighting for my mom to protect my emotions from his aggression in those moments. Mom was an artist in her day, and I would say very much so an existentialist. She taught her sons to feel, and to feel deeply the offerings of this life; what a gift this is, and it is one I will forever be grateful for. But, what a curse this was, when under the weight of the absolute terror that is an emotionally insensitive parent. As if the words and insults of a man you see as your protector and provider were not enough, the inexplicable silence of that other person who built you as this fragile human being made for a combination that never ceased to knock the wind out of me.

Even in sports, which I did not particularly excel in for some time, my brother and I were not seen by other players as much more than the coaches’ sons. With this came the same insults and curses that I experienced at school, but only this time in an environment of high passions and high volatility. Myself, being the more hotheaded between Gerald and I, always took the bait of these insults only to be publicly humiliated by my dad once word reached to him. It was inescapable, this fog of perpetual pain that occasioned seasonal rays of artistic expression and raging passion that served as my outlets. The one haven, the castle on the hill in this experience was the church. I was a child that was made vulnerable to everything, and therefore I felt everything. This eternity of feeling left me ragged and tired of many things, and as a result I became a very cold and methodical young man. I became what others would refer to as “mature” and “wise beyond my years” or “strong”; I never wanted to be any of these things. I never wanted to be strong, I just wanted to be safe.

Through sheer determination and willpower I did well both academically and athletically in high school. I graduated, and went on to undergraduate studies out of state. More than anything I wanted to leave behind Louisiana and it’s incessant ignorance and backwards logic; how wrong was I to think that it was a regional issue. I decided in college that I wanted to be a different person, a more visible leader and advocate on behalf of myself and other. I think it was this thought that guided me to make a vast majority of the decisions I would come to make, both good and bad. I would hold a few positions on campus and ran track my first two years of college. These points are not why this era in my life matters, though. It was here that my life would first fall apart, and largely because of my own doing. Somewhere between my university studies and my out-of-class experiences I no longer believed God had an active role in my life. I mean sure He was up there and guided me to the school in the first place, but looking back on my life I did not see a reason to believe that there was this ultimately powerful being who had been looking out on my behalf; again, the God I knew made me vulnerable, transparent to a world that sought to destroy my faith in it and in Him at every turn. If that was the God that had been watching me since birth I wanted nothing to do with Him, or, rather, I think we needed to spend some time apart.

And so, I lived my life and I lived it grandly. Unashamedly infatuated with luxury, opportunity, and prestige, I was well-known on campus; in some ways, I was notorious on campus. Eventually, that notoriety caused me to make some ridiculous college kid decisions, as most college kids do, that almost had very adult consequences. Regardless of what did not happen, one particular situation had consequences that resulted in a very loud, very public fall from grace; I was ashamed. That summer, on my annual return to Louisiana, I was broken and lost. I felt alone, embarrassed, and trapped, not much different from how I once felt as a child. It was in this season that I began reading Thich Nhat Hanh and meditating. I began shaving my head, a sign of consecration to a purpose I had long thought I lost or forgotten, and cut all meats out of my diet except for fish.

Yet embarrassed because of the terms on which I left the university, I told some of my peers and fraternity brothers that I more than likely would not be returning. The weight of the guilt and reliving the chaos of the preceding year seemed too much to bear. In the midst of these thoughts came the same soft, cool, all-consumingly overwhelming feeling that led me to the institution, initially. In that moment, to my soul came the urge to return and that if I were to not return I would be a coward. “What has kept you, will not sustain you”. Those words, words that came, in my opinion, from the universe directly to my spirit were the words that I rode all the way to Nashville on a 12am Greyhound bus.

In this final year of university, I discovered more about myself that I can explain; who I was, who I was not, who I wanted to be, and who I was willing to become. The magic of the moments in that year seemed to meet me in roaring waves of enlightenment and revelation; I was alive, fully alive for the first time. In this season I began to see the early formations of a personal philosophy that would become the cornerstone of a dream—a dream to create my own reality. It would be this dream that would propel me to achieve another lifelong dream of mine: becoming a Peace Corps volunteer.

Peace Corps was, and is still, an opportunity for me to connect with people world’s away; to learn their language, their ways of life, what life means to them, and what love means to them. For me, this was, and again still is, perfectly in alignment with who I wanted to become and had been a dream for me for quite some time. Well, after finishing my undergraduate studies, a two year completion of graduate studies back at home, and a marriage-to-my-best-friend later, I and my partner were granted the opportunity to become Peace Corps Volunteers in eSwatini (Swaziland). After months of training, going from Septemeber 27th to December 12th, we were able to be sworn in, officially, as volunteers of the United States Peace Corps. These past few months have been riddled with their own, unique challenges. Viewing life as an adventure helps me to make light of these experiences, and to examine them objectively, in the grand scheme of life.

The experiences I have had the blessed opportunity to be a part of and the future experiences I will have the chance to live and feel will be documented and scribed here for two main purposes: to tell a story that often times is not told; the story of the Black male minority, who has a rare opportunity to go places that many other Black people may never have the chance or the courage to. The second purpose, is to be transparent about the hard work and the beautiful struggle that is connecting, living, and loving other human beings. Despite the difficulties, despite language barriers, despite whatever obstacles, I believe that all people seek peace and connection, wholeness and reconciliation. It is this belief that has guided me, that has become my personal philosophy, and that continues to guide me.

To close, I refer to the Biblical passage of the story of the Tower of Babel; all of humanity came together with the grand cause of building a tower to reach the heights Heaven. Not only were they successful in their united endeavors, but so much so that the hosts of Heaven feared that humanity would ascend into the Heavens because, when they were united, there was nothing they could not accomplish. As a result, humanity was called to speak different languages in order to cause division and confusion amongst themselves. I am here, and walk this Earth, with the intention of rebuilding that tower; or rather, to bring about the revelation that Heaven was the ability to have peace and love, united in a cause for the benefit for all of humanity.

Once there was an endeavour to build a tower to reach unto Heaven. Why build up when what you truly seek is inside and around you? You do not have to wait until you die; you do not have to wait for an act of God. You are the act of God; your life is an act of God. Come on; let’s Create Heaven Here.

#pceswatini #personallife #peace corps #eswatini #swaziland