#social anxiety get absolutely destroyed. i did it

[b1gwings]

15 Questions for 15* people

haiii i got tagged by @babacontainsmultitudes & @oakay :3 thx for tagging me this is fun !1!!

1. are you named after anyone? I named myself after Clay from the Wings of Fire book series :) I started going by Clay a little over three years ago, I think? When I was thinking about changing my name, I knew I wanted it to be after a character that was really important to me, and Clay checked all the boxes. I think he was the first character I ever looked at for real and went "wow he is so me" LMAO. he's also where my username comes from, too...

2. when was the last time you cried? i want to say it was listening to dndads or taz but i think the real answer is in the middle of finals week after an INCREDIBLY cathartic phone call with my mom

3. do you have kids? no and I don't think I ever want to LMAO

4. what sports do you/have you played? i don't play any sports right now. i played soccer when i was, like, five years old but i HATED it

5. do you use sarcasm? yes but in an autistic way. where allistic people think im being serious and other autistic people know im joking and then they respond to build on the bit and then i can't tell if they're still doing the bit or not. you know

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? IDK AUGHHGH. i think how someone's hair looks?? if they're wearing any cool jewelry??? im so bad at being aware when im meeting people LMAO

7. what’s your eye color? green-ish grey :]

8. scary movies or happy endings? i don't think these things are opposites but I think happy endings for sure. those little dudes have already gone through so much :( let them ride off into the sunset and live the rest of their lives in peace :(

9. any talents? idk lol ? i consider "talents" to be stuff that you're naturally good at, versus "skills" being things you actually put time into improving or whatever. i'm naturally good at sliding my joints around (sarcasm) and i can do funny voices sometimes (real)

10. where were you born? the swamp (florida, usa)

11. what are your hobbies? drawing, writing, and d&d i think are the main ones right now :] i've been drawing a lot more recently and not feeling super exhausted about it, which has been lovely!!

12. do you have any pets? YES!!! A WONDERFUL LITTLE DOG... her name is Buffy & she's a rescue so we don' tknow what kind of dog she is but she LOOKS like she could be some kind of rat terrier mix ? i love her with my whole entire heart. she's my best friend. lmk if u want me to send u pics of her :3

13. how tall are you? i don't even know. 5'6" i think? im taller than my mom who is 5'4" and shorter than my friend who is 5'8" so we'll go with that

14. favorite subject in school? in high school, art class was my favorite. I adored my teacher; he was the best ever. but i was MISERABLE when i took an art class in my first semester of college. im a creative writing major now, so probably that idk. history & social studies n that kind of stuff has always been super interesting to me, too

15. what is your dream job? i would LOVE to eventually be in some kind of writers' room one day. playing & running D&D games has opened my eyes to just how much I adore storytelling with collaborative aspects. being able to just...make something with other writers...building off of each others' ideas...getting excited about it together... it feels so magical to me.

*anyway i think i have to tag 15 ppl now but idk if i know 15 ppl so im just going to tag as many as i can think of (literally no pressure if u don't wanna do this lol)

@itsbrucey @maxwellamus @flowercrowns-n-punks @kronoose @meteortrails @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls @simonsnow-irl @lemonofthevalley @iersei @raemeh @phillycheesesteakcore @officialgleamstar

#long post #OH MY GOD save me cool mutuals save me #sorry if any of you dont like being tagged!! D: #again there's absolutely no pressure to do this #social anxiety get absolutely destroyed. i did it

[rougecreator1]

Requestion 😉 for Regina x Reader:

possessive!Regina where Gretchen tells her a rumour about Reader being reallyyy close to another girl in PE. Regina publicly claims Reader in the hallways, but when they get home Regina is insecure and starts crying, Reader reassures them that they’ve only got eyes for Regina

Bruising Kisses||

|| Regina George x nonbinary!reader

|| Warnings: swearing, possessive Regina, insecure Regina, hinted at smut at the end but no actual details or anything

|| Summary: Gretchen tells Regina about a rumour where reader is close to another girl, Regina publicly claims reader in the hallway. When they get home, Regina's insecurities show and reader assures Regina they only have eyes for her. Lots of kisses.

Requests open!

Started: April 24th

Finished: April 25th

~~~

It was PE. Depending on the day, PE was Regina's least favourite class. She only enjoyed it when it was dodge ball and she could absolutely destroy everyone. Luckily for her, today was one of those days where Coach Carr took out the dodge balls.

Teams were made, Regina being Captain of one and some kid she didn't care enough about to name being the Captain of the other. On her team she had Gretchen, Cady and a bunch of other weirdos she picked because they didn't seem entirely awful. Karen didn't share PE with them, she had it with you in the following period. Otherwise Regina would have picked both of them too.

It was the middle of the game, Regina had already sent one person to the nurse's office and was about to send another there as she pulled back her ball when Gretchen suddenly appeared behind her.

"Regina! Emergency!" Gretchen whisper muttered, the blonde glanced at her in confusion and she motioned for Regina to follow.

Very. Very reluctantly Regina did, Gretchen made some excuse to Coach Carr about how she was getting her water bottle cause she left it in the locker room and the two left the gym.

When in the locker room, Gretchen looks at Regina. She was nervous because she knew she didn't have anything good to tell her.

Regina folded her arms across her chest, eyebrow raised as she watched Gretchen. "Well?"

"I heard a rumour that Y/N's gotten really close with a girl! Karen got from someone else that they were holding hands and being all over each other!" Gretchen rambled out, talking really quickly. Regina's eyes widened.

You were what?

Not if she had anything to say about it.

"Gretchen!" Regina snapped, getting her to stop her nervous ramble as Regina's eyes narrowed. "Who's the girl?"

"I don't know!"

"Find out." Regina was pissed, to say the least. She didn't want to doubt you, you'd been nothing but great to her. She hadn't expected you to go and do something like this. What about this girl was better than her? Her? Regina George? Regina went to her locker and got out her phone, texting you to meet her outside the gym after fifth period.

You had been in social studies when you got the text from Regina, glancing down at your phone.

meet outside the gym. after class.

You felt yourself tense. You could just tell through the way Regina had texted you that she was pissed off. Which was a horrifying thought to you. You and Regina have gotten in fights before and they are never pretty. How you're still alive after some of them you'll never know.

The rest of your class seemed to just drag on as your nervousness grew. Your best friend, Harley Banks, looked at you with a raised eyebrow when she noticed you fidgeting in your seat. She leaned over, resting her hand to your knee.

"Y/N?" Harley whispered, snapping you out of your anxiety for a very brief moment as you glanced at her.

"Huh?"

"You okay?" She asked, concerned for you. She was the friend Gretchen had heard the rumours about.

"Yeah-huh." You nodded, trying to seem like you were fine but you knew Harley knew you better than that. She sighed, but didn't push it since the two of you were in class.

After class, you went to where Regina had asked you to meet her. You saw her standing there, arms folded with an intense gaze in her eyes. Her eyes never leaving you for even a moment. People walked through the halls, glancing in the direction of the two of you. Most of them focusing more on Regina as whispers rang throughout the hall.

When you got close, Regina's hand wrapped around your throat and pulled you in for a rough kiss. Your eyes widened at the suddenness of it, but you melted into it. You figured that would be better than fighting her on it for doing something like this in public. Regina broke off the kiss after a long moment, her thumb trailing across her bottom lip as you stared into her eyes. Remaining silent.

"You're choosing some bitch over me?" Regina's eyes met yours. Your expression shifted to confusion.

"What?"

You had no idea what Regina was talking about. Choosing someone over her?

Regina noticed how genuinely confused you seemed to be, catching her off guard. She had a whole argument planned out... but you seemed to have no idea what she was talking about.

Harley walked over in the worst possible moment, arm draping around your shoulder as you glanced at her and then at Regina who looked beyond pissed. Then it clicked.

She was jealous of Harley.

"Harley, can you just give me a moment? I'll meet you in French, okay?" You said, taking her arm off you. Trying to prevent Regina from going off on the poor girl.

Harley tilted her head at you, then looked at Regina before looking back at you.

"Yeah, okay.." You could tell she was worried, just as she was about to walk away when Regina had grabbed you by your wrist.

Her grip was tight as she pulled you in close to her, her pull rough enough that you're surprised she didn't give you whiplash. Your bodies met and she kissed you again with a kiss so bruising you were sure it would leave some kind of mark. You were caught by surprise, but allowed her to do it and kissed her back.

When Regina broke off the kiss, you were completely breathless. She smirked at you then got the attention of everyone who had been walking through the hall at the time.

"Anyone who so much as touches them," She points at you, her gaze blazing. You could feel the tension in the halls." You can kiss whatever social life you have goodbye."

She was making damn sure the school knew you were hers. An action that made you blush.

Some people glanced at each other, others whispered. You didn't care.

The bell rang and you looked at Regina, who rolled her eyes but nodded and let go of you so you could go to your next class.

~~~

It was now well into the evening, you and Regina were watching a movie. Well not so much watching it as you were making out with each other. Since you had gotten to her place, she hadn't taken her hands off you for even a second.

You broke off the kiss and started to get up, she grabbed you and pulled you back in. You looked at her with a soft gaze.

"I'm just going to the bathroom, Reggie." You whisper to her, she looks into your eyes and you can just tell something was wrong." Baby?"

You decided the bathroom could wait.

Regina clearly needed you.

She wrapped her arms around your lower waist, her grip possessive.

"I just-" She started to say something, but shook her head." Nevermind."

"No, don't do that. Tell me." You try to get the information out of her, she sighs and glances down.

"You wouldn't leave me, would you?" She asked. The question made you pause, blink and stare at her.

"Regina, no. I'd never." You whisper in assurance, your voice soft but firm so she knew you were serious. Your hand come up to touch her cheek and you felt as you leaned into it.

"Swear it." Her tone wasn't harsh, but it wasn't soft. It sounded almost trembly, like she was holding back tears.

You frowned at this," I swear to you, Regina."

She nods, but you could just tell she wasn't convinced. You adjusted yourself as you pulled her into your arms, laying back so she laid on top of you.

"What's going through your pretty mind, baby?" You asked, wanting to know exactly what had her feeling this way.

"Am I too much? What if you get sick of me?" She looked at you, tears formed in her eyes but she looked towards the ceiling and refused to let them fall.

"Regina?" This had you confused.

"I want to cry but my mascara was $48!" You really tried not to laugh, she glared at you when she heard that." It's not funny, Y/N!"

"No, I know. I'm sorry." You stifled your laugh as best as you could, you knew it wasn't funny. But it kind of was at the same time.

"I promise I won't ever be sick of you." You tell her, hoping she believes you. She looks at you and the tears fall as she sees your soft gaze.

"Damn it!" Regina groaned the moment she started crying, her mascara dripping down her face.

"You need to invest in some good waterproof mascara, baby." You grinned, she rolled her eyes and you pulled her closer. Giving the corner of her mouth a soft, comforting kiss.

She paused and narrowed her eyes at you," What was that?"

"What was what?" You looked at her in confusion. Something you seemed to do a lot.

"That kiss, give me a real one." She demanded, now you were rolling your eyes as you rested your hand to the back of her neck and pulled her in for a real, passionate kiss.

She kissed you back and when you broke it you looked down at the blonde that laid on you.

"Are you okay?" You asked, wanting to make sure she was doing okay now. Or better at the very least.

Regina nodded and sighed.

"Good. Now get off cause I really need to go piss," You nudged her off you, which earned you a glare.

You got up and headed to the bathroom, making a mental note to give Regina all your attention tonight. You were going to assure her you wouldn't leave. And damn did you know the best way to do that.

#x reader #canon x reader #fanfic #mean girls #mean girls x reader #regina george #nonbinary reader #regina george x nonbinary reader

[kraviolis]

i keep seeing ppl in the notes on my camila post being all like "dont drag greg universe he was a great dad" which yeah, he was! i'd never argue against that. he did so good with what he had, but i would not say that greg was ever as involved in steven's life as much as he should have been.

the mr. universe episode in SU:F is proof of this. greg had helicopter parents that micromanaged him, so greg did what anyone would: he raised steven in the exact opposite way. is that a bad thing? depends on how you look at it. let me explain my perception:

steven grew up with so much freedom. he was allowed to eat what he wanted, dress himself how he wanted, go where he wanted, and do what he wanted. greg gave steven everything he never had growing up, but in doing so he deprived steven of everything he did have as a kid.

the reason steven clings to tightly to routines, schedules, specific diets & mealtimes, work, academics, etc. is because he did not have access to these things as a child. do you know how important routine is for a growing child? steven didn't even have a specific bedtime as a child. that shit absolutely fucks with your entire circadian rhythm later in life.

to be fair, i believe greg did the right thing with keeping steven out of public school. he wouldn't have thrived in that environment at all and it wouldve done more harm than good and greg did a great job making sure that steven wasnt too emotionally or socially stunted from this choice.

but everything else... the no doctor appts, no dentists, no bedtime, no mealtimes, no private bedroom, no supervision for like 80% of the time-- like, greg didn't even homeschool steven beyond third grade, probably.

greg was a good man for getting over his anxiety around magic/gem stuff enough to allow steven be so heavily involved in it. he recognized that steven needed to integrate with gem stuff to have that connection to his mother. i will never argue that greg should've sheltered steven more. he raised a good fucking kid. and without steven's involvement, the earth would've literally been destroyed.

but here's the problem. greg was more worried about being like his parents than he was of the effects this shit would have on steven's life. he made steven feel like he had to choose between two worlds. like he wasn't allowed to be both gem and human because greg would flinch and look away from steven's powers.

i do not blame him. he's only human and hindsight is a bitch. but we cannot deny that greg did in fact neglect steven by not being more involved with steven's life as a gem.

was greg a bad father? no. not at all. he made mistakes. all parents do. but greg often and actively refused to be involved in such a major part of steven's life. even if we factor in that the crystal gems themselves made him feel unwelcome, it still doesn't ever excuse it.

#krav talks #steven universe #su #greg universe #camila was sort of the opposite. she was scared and apprehensive to the magic so she tried to shelter luz from it #and accidentally made luz feel ashamed of such a big part of her and accidentally guilted luz into abandoning that #bcus she was shamed for the same stuff #generational trauma lets goooooooooo #and in the end same as greg she came to accept both parts of her child and was right beside luz instead of cheering from the sidelines #toh #the owl house

[sophiainspace]

Oh my god, the Discord server rules.

First, there's the server where you're not allowed to @ anyone unless they have a little bell in their name. My socially anxious people-pleasing ass has worked incredibly hard to learn this rule, until it's a reflex to turn off the ping as I reply to people. Seriously, everyone there seems to hate being mentioned with a ping - deeply, completely, prostrate yourself on the floor if you dare do the evil of the ping. I'm not even talking @everyone. Just any reply that sends a notification. A travesty, a murder, go directly to hell. (This means I now turn off the ping in servers where people want it.)

Then there's the server where you have to stick strictly to the subject matter of each channel or there will be a whole moral panic. There are three 'talk freely' channels, each with a slightly different focus, where believe me you cannot talk freely. That's before you get to the INFINITE LIST of subject channels. Oh yes, if a thing exists in the wide fucking universe, there will be a channel for it, and you will not set a foot out of the 'laundry' channel to discuss laundry in 'home', nor will you mention another household chore in the 'laundry' channel, or cursed be your progeny even unto seven generations.

Then there's the one where I read the rule "No mentions of religion or politics" and left immediately. Anywhere but Discord, I'd have thought this was minor hyperbole. But oh no. This is Discord. There are two or three of you around here who know what I do for work. You will get why I have never laughed so hard, as I imagined the scenario in which someone asked me what I did today and I mentioned in passing something I was working on and the ban-hammer came down so hard I was trebucheted directly to the Vatican, exiled there forever if you like religion so much, as the words would have flashed up on the black Discord screen.

Then there's the server where you can't spam. Which basically seems to mean no posting one line after another. Ever. I left that server after less than a day, anxiety spiking through the ceiling. I have RSD and constantly worry that I talk too much - there was going to be a terrible mess if I stayed, and the mess would be the puddle of liquid me all over the server floor.

Then there's the server that likes you to tag all spoilers (absolutely fair, this server is the only place with sensible rules honestly, given the series it focuses on.) Where I was briefly liveblogging about said completed series, but ended up hinting about too many things that I need to tag with each episode they relate to (in this case, potentially about 20 eps). Server folks are absolutely right that I should do this. It's just going to take more brain cells than I have left, after the above sets of rules HAVE DESTROYED MY TINY MIND. Love the server, might stick to their food channels.

Then there's the server where you can't backseat mod, and that's fine because I exist there to cause the trouble I can't in the above servers, and the mods can mod me. Just as long as I'm careful not to get thrown out. Since there's nowhere else I can actually talk about my fandoms without stepping on the garden rake of a ridiculous rule and doing a Sideshow Bob for hours.

I like all these servers. Brilliant, wonderful, full of great people. Also full of people with interesting attachments to weirdly specific rules, categories and ideas. And I'm too old and neurodivergent for 10 servers with 10 different sets of rules where if you break a single one, they break you.

So it's back to tumblr I guess. Where there are no rules, only vague but absolutely vital social conventions that no one warns you about until you blunder into them, and then there will be torture and death. Never mind the main character of the day on Twitter, try being the tumblr travesty of the decade, all because you did a thing no one wrote down but everyone knows is worse than abandoning your elderly grandmother in the middle of a field and driving away.

I'm going to my living room to freak out about TV alone.

#discord #tumblr #social media

[simpinglandxxxfanfics]

My one true King// Aemond Targaryen x male!oc

Alys Dayne is the secret love of Aemonds life, the only one he could trust with his feelings after coming back from Storm's Ends. Would he think of him as a monster? Would he destroy the boy's life?

He came back wet, her eye much more open than usually. When he reached for his mother, he couldn't look at her. He was entering the throne room, where Aegon was sitting on the throne, Otto by one side, Alicent by the other. Ser Arys Dayne was listening in the hall, waiting for Aemond to come back. He had gone to propose an alliance between houses, the young prince would marry one of the Baratheon daughters and assuring a loyalty to the new King Aegon. The Lord heard of the news by gossiping, so when Aemond was about to fly, he cronfronted him.

"When were you going to tell me, my prince?". He had anger and sadness moving throw her blushed face. "When I find her in your bed? Or you may put her in the back of your Vhagar and fly together your way to King's Landing". The Targaryen couldn't speak at the moment, his throat was closed by the sadness so he just stared at the ground. In the silence of the lonely Dragonpit, Arys started to sob. They both knew that nothing could be done, that this day would come, but not so soon. To calm him, and to let him know about how much he still loved him, Aemond took Arys faces into his hands. But the boy refused. He pushed the prince and left, Aemond watched him disappear before riding to Storm's End. Having the princes marry meant for Arys to do the same, there was no need for him by his side according to the social laws of Westeros. He came to the Red Keep when he was one and ten, the King Viserys approved Otto's idea of bringing a boy on court that could train with a recently half blinded Aemond. The King suggested a Dayne, family known as the best fighters and swordsman, as well as loyal people. The house sent their second born, the one with the princes' age. At first, Aemond was an absolute dick. He found Arys character soft and weak, but he was better than him with weapons, much graceful and smooth. So he became jealous and a bigger dick to him. All that stopped by the resilience the Dayne boy showed everyday. He always greeted the princes nicely, he always offered his hand when Aemond fell, always tried to calm him when Aegon annoyed him. Little by little, they became friends. They shared their feelings after the training, when they were left alone by Ser Criston. And, as the years went by, they became much more than friends, but thats another story.

The prince did act weird after one meeting, but Alys could sense his stress and anxiety so he decided to be close to him but not insistent. Now he knows what it was and he felt stupid. They were only six and teen, and many seconds sons were allowed to wed much older, or even not obligated to wed. Well, Aemond being a prince could make his ascent to the throne possible but if the Greens avoided a war there would be no need for him to stay at court. Alys was also aware about his non-existence duties now that his brother had two baby boys back at home. But all those things were dreams, they were the things that were supposed to happen, if only the Gods were good...At the distance, Alys stared at his prince, he looked so genuinely upset that the anger in Alys became worry and he followed him to his chamber. Of course, Aemond could feel him behind, but they did what they always did, walk the same direction, one before the other, no exchange of looks until one of them arrived at the rooms. Alys saw him get into his own, he then went into his, but he entered one of the many secret halls of the Keep and he finally reached the secret door in Aemond's room. He knocked two times, like always.

Aemond hurried to open it, he need it to talk, but he didn't want to do it with Alys. He did trusted him with his life, and he didn't feel judge at all...but they have different ways to see life and the thing he did was the kind of thing that the Dayne boy founded worthy of punishment. He didn't want to lose him this way, he didn't want to see the disappointment of his beautiful eyes and say goodbye knowing he felt disgusted by the person Aemond had become. But... Seven Gods...he loved him so much he was dying to see him again. And there it was, behind the secret door that he opened at the moment.

Alys was there, his eyes staring at him with sadness and he entered slowly. A fire was lightening the room, buy Aemond was stil soaking wet. They didn't speak, but Alys started to put the prince clothes apart. The dragon kept staring at his lover with soft eyes, tears about to fall. The clothes were putted on the sofa nearest to the fire. He was naked, but this was another type of nudity for the couple. The hands didn't move from the prince's face and Alys stared at him until he confessed.

"I just started the war..."

"I bet thats not the truth". Alys tried to confort him.

"It is" he spilled. "I killed Luke". The hands felt off. "I was just trying to scare him...to scare him so much he ended up ripping off an eye just for me".

"Was it an accident then? I don't understand". Alys was, as Aemond feared, horrified.

"I saw him on Storm's End, and I threatened him...but I just wanted an eye..." Aemond never cried but he was having trouble with swallowing. "I became so angry, Alys...that fucking kid with his little dragon, all dress up and noble...He's a bastard and nobody fucking cares...".

"Aemond, what the fuck did you do?" Asked Alys, growing angry. He did agree with him, but the prince didn't act right that night at Driftmark and Luke was just a kid defending his brother.

"I chased him with Vhagar...and Luke tried to hurt her and she...she became..."

"Uncontrollable?" Alys always feared for that. Such an old dragon, a wild creature. Beasts are never to be trusted and Aemond never saw why he feared his flying habit so much.

"I tried to stop her...I beg for her to stop and before I realised...she ate the bastard alive...the wings and tales were the only thing that escaped her bite". Poor Luke, he was just a kid, a teenage...Alys met him the last time he came, a brave boy, a bit naive but at the events that followed Alys saw the reason why the Greens resented them so. Luke shamelessly laugh at Aemond after everything...that night they both spent it together, talking and Alys made an efford to convince him. "You told me to gave them my forgiveness. At the end of the day, Luke was just a kid, you said...and now he would never had the chance to grow up".

Knowing Aemond, he wasn't sad about his nephew...he was sad about being the one who did it. Because what he did meant something that was out of his reach, war was a King's business, and he could only dream of it. War was a terrifying scenario, where the people that he loved would be in incredible danger, and even the victory would demand losses. And he had people he loved as much as Rhaenyra loved Luke. They will come for him, not only her half sister, but Daemond too. He not only had a mother that he loved, but Helaena was his most adored sibling, with kids who still had a chance of becoming like her mom...and Alys Dayne...oh, if the gods take him away...he would never forgive himself. He, the only person he could be true to himself, how believed in him, his sweet and wise Alys looked at him with terror and he felt himself falling apart. Now it was him sobbing and Alys pulling him closer. He caressed his back, Aemonds face hide in the croock of his neck.

"War started the moment your brother was crowned, Aemond...and Luke...you need to learn to control yourself...you fill yourself with hate...".

"Are you going to hate me?" cut Aemond. He looked up again, eye red. "I brought war with me on this night".

"I could never hate you, Aemond...and I was willing to fight for my true king any other way, because you are my true king, and I love my one..."he kissed his forehead, "true..." he kissed his eyelid, "king..." he putted away his patch to kiss his esmerald, "Aemond Targaryen" and he softly kissed his lips.

"I love you, Alys Dayne...but you are not going to fight for me...you will with me" he promised.

"From this day, until my last day, dragon".

"From this day, until my last day, star".

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x male!oc #aemond targaryen x male reader #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x male!reader #aemond targaryen x oc #aemond one eye #aemond stannies #ewan mitchell #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #hotd fanfic #game of thones #game of thrones fanfiction #asoiaf

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

My god I cannot stand those blogs that send themselves "anon hate", especially when they try to word the self sent hate in such a way in order to possibly falsely frame another person in the rp community they simply don't like. A rather bad memory of someone from a few years ago in a now long extinct rpc comes to mind, this person would go absolutely ballistic and refuse to apologize for incredibly rude and insane behavior and outbursts at others when confronted about it, instead just opting to instablock so they wouldn't have to apologize or take responsibility for any of their gross actions. They would try to reverse the tables and claim they were being "bullied!" and kept using the term "harassment" when confronted about their own actual bullying and despicable behavior in order to manipulate the masses and pathetically attempt to destroy the credibility of those with legitimate complaints and grievances about their multiple instances of bad behavior. Also would claim that they were having "panic and anxiety attacks" to distract from what they actually did and try to get their followers to gang up on those who dared to bring up their bullying by trying to silence the opposition so their precious relationships with the popular RPer group they so desperately wanted to be a part of would be preserved. This person would also try and suck up to the seemingly popular RPers in the community at the time for social circle status, strengthening of alliances, and brownie points and would pick on those lacking the influence in the RP community to have adequate support and reputation in the community to protect themselves. Slandering and throwing under the bus those few that dared to stand up against them, doing so in private discord chats and IMs of other people so that those being slandered would not know and could not defend themselves from their malicious rumors. This crybully threw a temper tantrum at several points and finally deactivated their account when people began quietly leaving them and finally realizing what a toxic, slanderous, and stressful presence they held in the rpc. Hilariously enough when they resurfaced about a year and a half later they were still trying to play the victim and stated they knew that the same people were still out there trying to harass them and out to get them, not realizing that by that point that rpc was in its terminal stages and that most everyone else had long since moved on and forgotten about them and their toxic antics and manipulative BS from long ago.

#drama #confessions

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

The Blue Castle, chapter 11

It's interesting that Olive's greatest joy is to be a famous musician. I'd have thought it would be something like marrying for both love and money -- something Stirling approved and a subtle dig at Valancy. Clearly I underestimated her. Interesting also that Aunt Wellington, who married in, has a desire unconnected to marriage or personal ailments. She's portrayed as one of the clan's tyrants, but how many dreams did young, pretty, wealthy Mary Maiden-name-not-given give up when she married Wellington Stirling?

I have never been to Youth Group, but there was a discussion earlier in the tag about how Mrs. Fredrick's holier-than-thou response was the equivalent of someone saying their favorite book was the bible, and I can picture the scene so perfectly. I didn't classify Mrs. Fredrick as one of the clan tyrants, because her financial poverty seems to put her fairly low in the pecking order, but she is just as obsessed with one-upmanship as the rest of them.

We're going back once again to the incredible power of social shame. All it takes to throw the entire dinner party into an absolute panic is Valancy making two comments. Is she slightly rude to Uncle Benjamin? Possibly. Is she ruder to him than anyone has been to her? Definitely not. But the Stirling rudeness is done under the guise of "helpful" advice and commentary -- they're not criticizing, they're just saying -- and so Valancy breaking that social contract and being blunt is unthinkable. In three sentences, Valancy destroys the entire carefully constructed façade, and all power to her for doing so.

Credit to Uncle Herbert for trying to smooth things over in a way that's not trying to squash Valancy. Sure, he wants her to stop talking because it's causing a fuss at the party, but he does so by checking if she's okay, not trying to terrify and bully her back into submission. And frankly, I don't blame the poor man for wanting his wedding lunch to go smoothly. Having people fighting in front of you is deeply stressful, and on top of that you know that this will be brought up at every single anniversary lunch he and Aunt Alberta have for the rest of forever.

You know, I bet Uncle Wellington thought that Barney Snaith would be a safe topic of conversation, one that didn't concern Valancy and one that she had no interest in and thus would not be inclined to disrupt. Shame for him that he is completely wrong about that. Sounds like even Valancy didn't quite realize how much of an interest she had in the topic, until she found herself at liberty to express it.

"Generally when Uncle James lifted his eyebrows the world came to an end. This time it continued to function." What an absolutely delightful turn of phrase. I love it.

Is this the first time we've heard mention of Cissy Gay? Clearly she's a known quantity in the community, but I don't remember if she's been explicitly mentioned before.

And so Valancy makes her triumphant exit, leaving utter devastation in her wake. Once again, it's remarkable how little it took to bring the whole family to its knees. These are people who are very used to getting what they want, and what they want is strict obedience and social cohesion. Even the nicer ones have don't rock the boat engraved into them as their overriding motivation. They simply cannot cope with someone who simply does not care what the boat does in response to their actions.

“Well, that’s settled. In the meantime, Amelia, act as if nothing had happened and keep an eye on her. Don’t let her be alone. Above all, don’t let her sleep alone.”  Valancy's fears that telling her family about her diagnosis would lead to them insisting on sharing her bed were spot on, I see. One assumes those fears came from experience, not simple projection or anxiety.

#blue castle book club #blue castle chapter 11

[giggly-squiggily]

Hello!!! Quick Headcannon for you (Giyu brain rot)

Giyu’s favorite lees to literally destroy are Sanemi and the Kamados, which is expected, but the least expected part is his last favorite Lee is Rengoku. Don’t ask why-none of the hashira know, none of the Kamaboko squad knows, even Rengoku doesn’t know. Only Giyu (and Sanemi) know and even Mitsuri, Shinobu, Rengoku AND Tengen can’t pry it out of him. Maybe, just maybe Giyu will tell Rengoku one day. If he overcomes embarrassment, social anxiety, and just overall…Giyu-ness.

AHHH

Firstly- you're absolutely right on the Kamados and Sanemi- those are just ajkrkjeawrjkaejkrjkejre (I take your mentioned lees and toss in Zenitsu and Inosuke- no one is safe from Ler!Giyu when he strikes!)

Secondly- JEJEJR YES! It's such an odd pairup and like you said Rengoku has no idea either but like- he's not complaining? He's someone who loves tickles and to get them from someone as shy as Giyu is so karkjerkjeajrjeakj The water Hashira's lee count is so small? Literally like you said; The Kamados, Sanemi and him (maaaaybe Shinobu if she's feeling it and sometimes Zenitsu and Inosuke but kinda rare)

He starts to suspect Giyu feels comfortable enough to open up and play with him in return after all the tickly antics and Rengoku can't even begin to form words oh how warm that makes him feel akljrejarjkejkr Of course he has no concrete evidence and honestly- even if he did, he kinda wants to keep it to himself? A rare side of selfishness maybe but like- it's also not putting Giyu on blast giving everyone a conspiracy theory to grill him over so like- that's how he justifies it akjlerkjaejkrjkea. Really, he takes it as a "Ain't broke so why fix it?" kinda deal and is fairly pleased all the same.

Thank you for sharing friend this is so CUTE!

#squiggily speaks #ask #flyinginvelaris #friend :3 #tickle #tickle headcanons #demon slayer #giyuu tomioka #rengoku kyojuro

[insertsickusername13]

ahem. After some deep introspection, I have decided it is long past time to share the details of my absolutely horrid pjo au. Long post, I apologize, but I've been dramatically playing sudoku while plotting this out for far too long and the world simply must know every terrible thought I've been thinking. I start by giving all their godly parents then I just list off awesome little headcanons/scenes. there's no plot. it changes daily, depending on my sudoku game.

Godly parents:

Jeremy Heere - Apollo. I've seen a lot of content of him as a son of Demeter and honestly, half of me agrees with you. But when I put him into the actual plot, he always ends up playing the role of an Apollo kid. His social anxiety means he prefers fighting from a distance (archery) and I always imagined him as the healer of the group. Not in a metaphorical or emotional sense (that's Brooke), just that Jeremy can find his friends after the battle and help them. This also fits with my personal headcanon that Jake and Jeremy dislike each other---of course they do, Jeremy needs Jake to trust him in order to properly treat him, and Jake hates that this acquaintance expects Jake to trust him.

Michael Mell - Hades. He's interested in 'dead' trends. Ha, get it? Right? No, but also the fact he's a loser and has just come to accept it. People won't let him into their groups no matter how sweet he is because there's something about him that just doesn't fit in, and that's the fact he will gladly tread on the edge of death. He controls it. (the dead trends is the main thing tho ngl)

Christine Canigula - Poseidon. I know technically Dionysus makes more sense, but despite what many may think, I actually associate her more with the ocean than I do anyone else. She's dramatic, she's breathtaking. She can destroy you if she so pleases, but by god she doesn't want to. She's gentle and blue and beautiful. Most importantly, though, she reflects. She reflects the stars in the night sky like she reflects Ophelia's sadness. She reflects the adrenaline rush a surfer desires just as she reflects the desperation and adventurous youth in Juliet.

Rich Goranski - Zeus. Two reasons: Instinctively my brain went to Ares and Hephaestus, but no. Absolutely not. Hephaestus is an absolute no because Rich is not the fire Rich is not the fire Rich is not the fire. Ares is a bit more questionable because, in the pjo world, Ares is pure anger and spite and ego and his kids tend to reflect the same personality traits and god, Rich already does that in the canon world. It's implied his father is abusive and you know what? This is an au. I'm still giving him a shitty father but I am not giving him Ares, the god of War. I chose Zeus because a) plot. His being able to fly is incredibly important to many, many scenes in this mental fic and b) I like the idea of him holding the aura of a king. Not necessarily a leader, that's Jake, but he can walk with a self-entitlement that drives you to trust him even as he's rash and dangerous. His feelings are lightning bolt strong; quick, breathtaking, deadly, flashy. Storms follow him when he's sad and thunder roars when he's angry. He doesn't crave violence in the way a kid of Ares would, but he often ends up causing it anyway.

Jake Dillinger - Aphrodite. This one's always been obvious to me. Jake's main thing is charm---I mean, Model UN, talking his way into a relationship with Christine. He's well-liked and hot. His parents being criminals in the canon world means he's probably accustomed to lying and twisting others' words against them. AKA, he talks and seduces so no one will see his flaws or insecurities, just as any kid of Aphrodite learns to do. Also I did give him charm speak and I took away the whole thing about needing to be attracted to him for it to work because Jake's got that kind of charm where adults like him too much (not in a sexual way, I mean in a he's just so easy to deal with kind of way) and I feel like he'd just make it work on anyone. (also you'll see why Chloe isn't the kid of Aphrodite in a moment)

Chloe Valentine - Unclaimed. I already posted about this a while ago. She already grew up insecure but loud. Then she got to camp and paraded around the fact she was probably a kid of Aphrodite or Zeus for weeks. No one claimed her. She stayed in the Hermes cabin even as she integrated herself into the Aphrodite crowd, painting herself to be beautiful and snarky until people began to forget she was just an unwanted kid. She lashes out to hide it, sure, but it's mostly because she feels so isolated and alone, and she's convinced that if she screams loud enough, bites hard enough, that her victims will feel the same terrible loneliness she does. Realistically, she's probably a child of Hecate.

Brooke Lohst - Athena. I think it's probably the blonde thing, but I'm going to pretend it's not. I've always imagined her as so introspective and deep. You can look at her and just know there's so much more going on underneath the surface. She knows you and she knows herself more than you could ever hope to. People often forget how smart she is because, for starters, she's always overshadowed by Chloe. Mostly, though, it's because she's so soft. She lacks the pride of most Athena kids. She'll smile like sunlight and laugh like wind chimes and flit from place to place like a breeze-blown cherry blossom dancing to the ground. Her? A strategist? A warrior? It doesn't make sense until you hurt someone she loves. She honed that sweetness. She fought for it. She bled to make sure her friends experienced that gentle kind of love and if you take that from them she will trick you into tearing yourself limb from limb and she will smile as you do it.

Jenna Rolan - Hermes. Duh. She's a messenger, she's a traveler. Important note about travelers, though, is that the second they leave, their existence is usually forgotten. She walks into a room, declares her purpose and her message, and the second she steps out it's as if she was never there. Is it because she's fast? Because she never tells details about herself, only others? You don't know. She doesn't know---no mater how many nights she overthinks it and questions it, she doesn't understand why she's nothing but a shadow to everyone else.

Favorite Headcanons:

the main reason Rich is a son of Zeus is because I have a very clear image in my head of the eight of them on the Argo II or this au's version of it and the scene starts with Jake just barreling down a hallway and onto the main deck screaming his ass off and Jeremy's chasing after him, red-faced and angrier than anyone has ever seen him and Jake yells Rich's name and then just. Jumps off the ship and into the clouds. Ofc Rich like summons a cloud to catch him, and in the distance you can hear Jeremy, who just found out Jake hooked up with Michael their second night on the ship, "YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM BOTH. NO. IT'S NOT FAIR. ONE OR THE FUCKING OTHER. YOU CANNOT HAVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON I LIKE JAKE WHY????"

Oftentimes being a demigod comes with trusting only yourself, which means Jeremy has to work hard to get any of his patients to really come to him when they're injured and in this world, everyone was kind of separated before into groups (either two or three) and jake and rich were together so there's obviously a level of trust between them Jeremy simply can't get between, and at one point Chloe gets injured and Brooke tries to take care of her (stealing medical supplies from Jeremy) but, despite being smart, she's not a medic, and at it's the middle of the night and Brooke shows up at Jeremy's room with a half-unconscious Chloe in her arms begging for help and of course, Jeremy provides it, but then he just. Goes fucking off on Brooke. And it's so important because Jeremy is quiet and anxious, but "I am the medic here. I can take care of him. No, no, it's not just that I can. It's an obligation. it's my fucking job, Rich. That is all I can bring to this team. I'm a fucking coward. I would rather die than put myself into a battle, so it's my fucking job to pick up the pieces when you all come back bruised and battered, and you stole that from me. You took all I had left. If she dies, that's on me. Only me. It doesn't matter if he was in your care or someone else's, it's my job." Anywho, after that they routinely check up on Jeremy to make sure he's mentally okay.

Everyone capitalizes on Christine's ability to talk to fish just because it's so entertaining. They're in the middle of a quest but they're all so exhausted they stop at an aquarium and spend six hours sitting in front of a single tank of lame fish while Christine acts out the conversations between them and they're all deliriously relieved to be there.

Jake, Brooke, and Rich are the most dangerous team to go up against. Brooke can think of the right plan, the right words for Jake to say, and Jake can say her words to charm speak their enemy into destroying themselves. And Rich is there to physically support them both---Jake can always jump slightly too high because the wind is on his side and Brooke is slightly faster than her opponents because, for some reason, air resistance doesn't apply to her.

I noted earlier that they were all separated into small groups at the beginning and were forcibly united for their quest. Jenna was the only one of them alone, and Christine and Brooke both work so hard to eventually make her feel welcome on the ship with everyone else

So Jake is a child of Aphrodite, right? at one point there's a mini-quest they have to go on and the group decides it's smartest for Michael, Jake, and Jeremy to go. Jake immediately turns to Chloe with puppy dog eyes like "PLEASE, CHLOE, PLEASE TAKE MY PLACE" and she's like dude. no. no one likes being alone with them, it's barely even third wheeling. they make you feel like you aren't even a wheel. and Jake's like "YOU THINK IT'S BAD FOR YOU?? I'M A CHILD OF APHRODITE, CHLOE, I CAN PHYSICALLY FEEL THE PINING BETWEEN THEM" and that's how Chloe is convinced to go on a quest alone with Jeremy and Michael. It's miserable.

Jake won't charm speak his friends, which is why he had to actually convince Chloe to go on that quest. The reason why is so sad and traumatic I'm not going to add it to this post because most of these headcanons have been relatively amusing, but it's bad enough that on some days he's selectively mute (that's the right term, right?) just in case he accidentally charm speaks one of them. He and Rich can communicate in rudimentary sign language.

Rich is most skilled at fist fighting. Like yeah, he could use a sword or knife, but he's super super dangerous just with his fists.

And finally, because it's 11:15 and I have a test tomorrow: Brooke had a crush on Christine for the longest time and I have a very clear image in my head of them hanging out together under the argo II on the ocean under the stars and Brooke hesitantly confesses her feelings and Christine rejects her because she's ace and heteroromantic but she still hugs Brooke and is the sweetest person ever about it. She checks up on Brooke, lets Brooke set all the boundaries between them, and eventually, after a month or so, Brooke has to be like "Christine, I'm okay. I had a crush on you, I wasn't in love. You can stop now." and Christine is so fucking happy because she's been trying to distance herself from Brooke to give her time to heal and now she can have one of her best friends back!!!

#bmc musical #jake dillinger #rich goranski #jeremy heere #christine canigula #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #jenna rolan #michael mell #pjo au #richjake #boyf riends #pinkberry #what's the ship name for brooke and christine #idk but secretly i do really really ship that it's the love of my life

[smallestapplin]

Would love to hear your input on this scenario with Elesa, the subway twins and Piers:

So all of these characters have some sort of media presence, in case of the subway twins that's more of a fandom thing, but let's say they are actually considered celebrities for this, so they are pretty used to actually get media coverage and gossip on them like, all the time.

So how would they react to the news reacting to them suddenly finding out they have a sweetheart? I am talking straight up Paparazzi photography of them and reader on a date, people online arguing who this mystery person is and interviews questioning them on this from now on on? Did they anticipate that this would happen from the start and warn reader " You know, people are gonna talk when they start to see us like this. Are you ready for that?" would some of them try to keep the relationship secret, not because they are ashamed but they want to keep the reader safe? How would they feel about reader being open to go with them to official events from that point on? Who causes a minor amusing scandal because they sent their ace Pokemon after a Paparazzi when THEY WHERE JUST TRYING TO HAVE AN EVENING STROLL YOU PEST?! Would absolutely love to hear your ideas on this because you're honestly my favorite content blog right now. ❤

I’m a favorite??🥺, I WILL TRY MY BEST TO KEEP UP!

Asks open?

-

-

🔲Ingo🔲

- Oh poor sweet man

- He just wants to have some peace with you.

- When news got out that ‘super stoic subway boss on a date!?😱’

- Yeah he warned you quickly.

- And he explained if you hate the spot light or your anxiety can’t handle such a thing, he will understand if you end things because of it (though sad, he only wants you to be safe and comfortable.)

- But when you agree to stay he promises to keep as much private as he can.

- He knows you’re open to being with him but he wants to keep his private life exactly that.

- He feels the media isn’t entitled to see you two on a romantic date.

- Ingo proves that he perfected the technique of hiding anything and everything (if you have siblings you know what I’m talking about.)

- The only time the media will see you is at events.

- The only time they will hear about you is when Ingo mentions you, but that’s all they get.

- Paparazzi are insane and he refuses to let them shove thirty different cameras in you face while you try to get you grocery shopping done.

🔳Emmet🔳

- oh he gets pissed when he sees articles being posted about ‘subway boss emmet in a relationship!? Who’s this person?’

- You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so mad, he had to leave the room to cool down.

- After an hour he comes back to tells you everything and how it would likely play out.

- The question is can you handle that or not? He completely understands if not, even he didn’t like it when it first happened (he still doesn’t but has a better tolerance for it now.)

- But you love him, so you agreed.

- He simply tweeted “yes I’m happily in a committed relationship, yes they are the love of my life, you can fuck off now💖”

- And that blows up.

- The media somehow can only get pictures of you through emmet’s own social media’s or Elesa’s when she posts pictures of everyone hanging out.

- Why you may ask?

- Anyone who takes a picture, follows you, or tries to stop to ask about the relationship in real life gets attacked, not just by Galvantula.

- But Emmet’s entire team.

- Camera’s are destroyed by Archeops.

- People are scared off by Garbodor.

- Hissed and shocked (at safe levels) by Elektross and Galvantula.

- And get chased by a bitey Durant.

- They tried to scold Emmet and bash him online but his sane fans joined forces and was like ‘you know he is a person with his own life outside of the subway, right? Let them be.’

- Emmet really doesn’t care about his reputation like Ingo does, so he will square up.

⭐️Elesa⭐️

- it was bound to happen.

- She’s always been open about her love for you and dating you.

- She’s more surprised it took this long for them to find out.

- She tells you the usual thing like everyone will.

- And once you agree she makes a post with a picture of you kissing her cheek, gushing about how much she loves you.

- You two won’t get as much privacy as the others solely because of how much more popular she is.

- You were highly aware that while she does have very nice supportive fans.

- She has a loud bunch of rabid ones that will come for your throat for any little flaw you have or mistake.

- She does protect you tho!

- Paparazzi have been chased off by her zebstrika.

- And you’ve seen posts of her hard core defending you.

- She takes you too events and pictures float around of you two kissing before she walked on stage for good luck.

- You went from most hated or most beloved real quick once people saw how genuinely in love you two are.

🎸Piers🎸

- it’s a cold rage when he finds out.

- Sure all of Spikemuth knew, all of team yell knew.

- Cause you are Piers muse.

- In fact all of Spikemut loved you, you’re always so helpful and kind with them.

- And you help Piers with his equipment, so of course some fans took a sneaky picture of you two wooing each other on stage after a show.

- They posted it and surprise surprise all of Galar knows.

- Piers tries to keep as much as he can private.

- But you say you don’t mind, you love him after all.

- You go to events and cheer him on.

- Like tournaments, to him your cheer is the loudest.

- And so is it to the paparazzi.

- Piers doesn’t do anything.

- But Obstagoon has hands(paws) to throw.

- Piers makes a half assed apologize in the ‘I’m sorry, even though I don’t actually mean it and my love is making me type this-‘ way

- You might want to keep yourself on a tight leash, while team yell are like a very supportive family.

- The rest of his fam outside of Spikemuth aren’t as friendly.

- Piers would cry if anything happened to you.

- He never really posts much, but Marnie posts a bunch about ‘makin a cake with the best in law, maybe bro will stop being such a pouty baby.’

- And everyone loses their mind.

#pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon ingo #pokemon fluff #pokemon ingo x reader #pokemon emmet #pokemon emmet x reader #pokemon elesa #pokemon elesa x reader #pokemon piers #pokemon piers x reader

[scarl3ttjpg]

Back to Square One (02)

CW: Slight angst, discussion of death + grieving

Clyde and I sat at a table, enjoying our breakfasts. I sighed happily. It felt like it had been so long since we last had the opportunity to spend time with our dad like this. When mom died, it tore us apart. It was rough on everyone. Clyde blamed himself for so long. Dad blamed Clyde for everything too, which in turn led to some of that resentment seeping off toward me as well. I... Well, I kind of just shut down for a while after it happened. It wasn't until Clyde convinced his friends to let me join in their little game that I started feeling okay again... I didn't expect to have much fun playing with them, but those became some of my fondest memories over a decade later.

Anyways, having breakfast as a family, even if it's just from a greasy fast food place that probably failed their last health inspection... It felt like before all that happened. I knew that as a family, we may never heal completely no matter how much time may pass. But I couldn't help but smile at the melancholic nostalgia. When I glanced over to my brother, I could sense that he felt the same under his hunger. He was devouring his food as if he had been starved for days. The man was going absolutely beast mode on his Egg McMuffin.

My relaxation was interrupted, though, when I heard a screeching voice that I longed so badly to forget. My gaze shifted, slowly and cautiously, over to the order kiosk, hoping with every fiber of my being that my ears were wrong. My fears were unfortunately confirmed when I saw the man I hadn't had to think about in years, since he destroyed my reputation and all but turned me into a social pariah.

Before he had the chance to look over, I abruptly stood and walked swiftly to the restroom. Clyde opened his mouth to question my sudden movement, but quickly closed it again once he saw why.

As the door swung closed behind me, I slid down against the wall. I pulled out my phone, hands shaking with a mixture of rage and anxiety. I immediately texted Clyde, just to make sure he understood the cause of my commotion.

I set my phone down in my lap and rested my head in my hands. I took a few deep breaths before standing to pace from wall to wall. Did he see me? Does he even recognize me? I would hope he recognizes me after he tried to ruin my life... Does he even remember how badly he fucked me over? I stopped at the sink and splashed some cold water on my face and dried my hands on my jeans. I needed to stay calm if I was to go back out there at any point. He of all people can not see how much he got into my head without saying a single word to me. After a moment of calmness, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to see my brother had texted a group chat including myself and the few people who never stopped trusting me as a person.

I slid my phone back into my pocket as I took one last deep breath. I put on a smile and stepped back into the dining room and took my seat next to my brother. Conveniently, the devil himself and his mother found a seat where he could have full view of us.

"What took you so long in there," my dad began. "You know what, I don't want to know. Are you two done eating? I, for one, have a job I need to get to. You should both try it sometime."

"I'm done. Clyde can eat his hashbrown in the car. Let's go," I stated much to the objection of my brother. I was already on my feet ready to head out the door. I waited for my dad and brother to pass by me and out of the restaurant. Against my better judgement, I looked at Cartman for just a moment. I flashed him a smug grin and waved. Once I saw his stare turn cold, I turned and walked out to the car.

prev || next

#Back to Square One #south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #south park smau #clyde donovan #y/n #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman #wendy testaburger #bebe stevens #butters stotch

[zeldabecameaqueen]

CONTENT WARNING :

🌼 QSMP current events (3rd-4th March)

🌸 it's all my opinion and pov

🏵️ talking about violence, genocide, politics, triggers for depression and bad mental health

🍀 optimistic (even if it doesn't look like it)

🫧 non-native english speaker speaking heavy stuff in english while being sleep-deprived → incorrect, awkward, clumsy way of speaking

-------------

QSMP has been a light throughout the last year, when so much shit stuff is happening. I did realize before that I needed the qsmp and that it made me feel good, but I didn't realize why, and that's only now that i'm scared of losing the server that I understand. Every single day of qsmp was a day of joy for me, I loved seeing content of different nationalities, I loved so much seeing people interact and create stuff together in the most chaotic way, I loved slowly getting into the different ccs communities and I loved to recognize ids, recognize tumblers and artists. And even when in the lore it was getting dark, it was still fictional and we knew it would get better. And even in real life when some ccs were not being safe, and that communities could get violent and full of hatred, I also knew the server would survive it since there is a vast majority of priceless people who would fight for this safe, international space. And what I just realized, is that when everything is going down in the world in real life, when every day you're flooded with infos about how much humans are bullshit and destroying selfish beings with absolutely no empathy or respect for others, even with every day evidence that there is no hope of it getting better, qsmp was there to give me hope.

I believe that QSMP is a place of creation, international unity and hope. It is a safe place for people who are socially different, for people who have in.visible illnesses, for people who are discriminated against. It is a safe place for people who are incredibly creative, for people who care about life.ves, for people who spread kindness and respect. I don't care if you don't agree, this is how I feel considering who I am.

QSMP is a place of creation and bonding and building. It is a place of light and hope and art and beauty. It is a place for the best of humankind.

My english has gone very bad because I just spent the night with nightmares about the qsmp and anxiety about work and reminders of what is happening in the world and how what I make to help is never enough and how hopeless we all are. Because people who have power, right now, just don't care! I'm not sorry, when you have that much power, and are witnessing such atrocities /a fucking genocide for instance/ given that we have no excuses of resources and wealthiness (i'm speaking from an european pov), when you let this kind of shit happening, as a high-rank politic or head of business company, it's because you don't care, I don't see any kind of reason for letting this kind of things happening

I didn't plan on getting into politics so I'll stop here but the point is, QSMP cannot close down because they exploited their employees/volunteers who put that much work and because of bad administration. The issues have been addressed, and I believe will be resolved. People who don't feel safe anymore on the qsmp will leave for their wellbeing, others will stay to maintain it as the best place it can be. But in the end, I believe in the project, I support it, and I'll fight for it to keep on going under the condition of these matters to be resolved.

It is my opinion and I know a lot of people want to boycott qsmp and unfollow it, especially french people, but i personally disagree with that doing. I feel like we have the power to do something, to make it better and I'm sorry for what the qsmp team has been put through but also grateful towards Léa for her bravery and the other admins who spoke out. Because now we can do something about it, for it to be a safe place for the communities and the admins and actors.

I'm feeling less hopeless now, but please I hope some of us will stay on following and believing in the qsmp, and that we'll find a way to get through, because I don't see how it wouldn't be possible. I mean, just pay your creators/workers, communities will be glad to participate in any way possible, it is an amazing project that won't end on such a crap note.

As I was saying previously, QSMP is a place of creation, of hope for humankind and unity, and respect, and caring. Prove that we are able to overcome this by fighting together

Take care of your health, step away if needed, drink water, sleep, eat and don't blame yourself. No hatred 🌸

#i didn't plan on posting it because i was so much in a bad place at first #but it felt good to sort my thoughts out and i realized i gave some optimistic thoughts that could help some of us #qsmp #tw language #qsmp admins #discourse #tw genocide #tw politics

[joyofkinoko]

My Cross to Bear | twenty nine (1.0k words)

The Budget Ghostbusters are called in to investigate the allegedly haunted Gom Theatre in Seoul, and you are a rising actress cast in the latest show, ironically “the Phantom of the Opera”. With both the spirits of the theatre and the critics of the industry down your throat and out for your blood, you find your only comfort in Choi Beomgyu, the sweetheart YouTube cameraman.

.: coworkers to lovers .:. female reader .:. fluff, hurt/comfort, paranormal :.

.: tw: paranormal elements, mature language, near-death experiences :.

.: masterlist .:. budget ghostbusters :.

When Saturday morning arrives, you wake up slightly anxious. While excited to meet with the Budget Ghostbusters again seeing as they've come to be good friends to you, the notion of why you're meeting up tonight brings some discomfort.

At the end of the day, the things, haunted or not, that occured at Gom Theatre, destroyed you emotionally and, quite literally, physically. It took away your confidence, your fearlessness, your dreams. And while things seem to be going back in the right direction, you have to admit that a fear still lingers.

Not only that, but Beomgyu's promised to pick you up for tonight's watchparty.

And Choi Beomgyu?

Just another source of anxiety.

After you confessed and asked to go on a date with him, you haven't really gotten anywhere else. You recognize that there are people who like to take things slow, but Beomgyu hasn't exactly given you an answer. He's just continued spending time with you like normal, holding your hand on occasion and then treating you kindly the way he did before when he did so as a coworker.

He's cute, but man is he an idiot.

Nonetheless, you suppose that at the very least, he is still in your life.

He picks you up at six on the dot as promised, taking your hand in his as you drive through the streets of Seoul on the way to the BGB mansion. You've never been, and he promises in the car that you'll get a chance to see both his room and the main BGB indoor set in their basement. He even tells you to pay close attention to the Gom video, and that the ending was edited with you in mind.

Upon arrival, Kai swings the door open with a bright smile, immediately going in for a hug that you return. "Teddy! So good to see you walking on your own!”

“Aw, thanks,” you smile, endeared by his comment.

“Are we the last ones here?” Beomgyu asks, entering in the house after you.

“Nicholas and Sunghoon are stuck in traffic I think, but they should be here soon,” Kai kindly answers, leading you both to the main living room where the rest of party has already started.

With low music playing in the background, your heart warms at the sight of some of the people you’ve come to care about the most just enjoying the night together. Especially considering the month you’ve had at Gom, it’s really quite nice to just see everyone having a good time. With boxes of pizza and cans of pop on a table against the wall, you were all gathered to watch the accumulation of your haunting experiences at the theatre.

And as you all wait for the last two boys to arrive, you are introduced to Flower and Diamond, Soobin and Kai’s respective partners who are absolute dolls. When Yeonjun insists that the three of you girls take a photo together for the official BGB social media pages, you feel a little confused but you smile nonetheless, especially with Beomgyu’s supportive smile towards you.

It’s when Nicholas and Sunghoon get there that the night truly begins, just in time for the YouTube countdown of the hour-long special’s premiere. You sit right next to Yunjin on the couch, but just before the video starts, Beomgyu squeezes in between you and the end of the couch, a bowl of popcorn in his hand to share with you.

You’ve watched a handful of the boys’ videos before, but something about how personal this one is makes it even more impactful. Covering the day you’d all met and the story of you leg injury all the way to the late-night seance and your dressing room mess on the morning of opening night. And while mostly serious, Beomgyu’s editing still insisted on keeping the video comfortable and light-hearted, which wasn’t so hard considering Kai’s on-screen charm, Yeonjun’s deadpan humor, and Sunghoon and Taehyun’s unexpected dynamic.

This video marked the finale of your fears, and as the documentary came to a close, all was revealed about Mr. Son’s corruption and criminal activity, with a promise that when Gom Theatre comes back, you will all be back along with it, better than ever.

It’s a hopeful reminder that you will be okay, and that you’ll get to be on stage again soon enough.

And all would have been well had the video just ended there, with a light-hearted montage and final words from Kai, Soobin, and DK. But as they listed all that had happened in the weeks after all that went down at Gom Theatre, Beomgyu chuckles from behind the camera as Kai smirks in front of it.

“Yeah, Beomgyu, what else has happened since Mr. Son was arrested?”

“Okay, fine,” he sighs, leaving the camera on its tripod and coming up behind Kai, cheeks bright red. “The rumors are true, you guys. Teddy and I are together. You can make your ‘I told you so’ tweets now.”“

And from behind the camera, you can hear the other boys burst out laughing, with Yeonjun saying, “The Phantom of the Opera’s angel of music is dating a ghostbuster!”

“A budget one at that,” Taehyun jokes.

“Oh, she could so do better,” Soobin adds on to the poor guy’s dismay.

“Okay! This video’s over,” Beomgyu grimaces, walking up to the camera and shutting it to mark the beginning of the documentary credits.

But instead of cheers and laughter, the room remains silent, with your jaw dropped just like your own castmates and director. Confusedly, you turn to Beomgyu, who just has an expectant look on his face.

“What do you think?” he smiles, as the entire room watches you both.

“When did we start dating?”

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#tomorrow x together #choi beomgyu #txt smau #social media au #beomgyu x reader #txt fluff

[marriedmyfandom]

Wednesday in a QPR for season 2

Okay, this started as an idle thought because someone said that aroace Wednesday would destroy her emotional/social character arc which is just ???

Like first off, you can definitely develop your social skills and how to check in with your emotions by just... making friends. Wednesday staying a single aroace but learning how to make and maintain friendship would still be character development.

But for the sake of the argument let’s pretend that you subscribe to the allo monogamous notion that for everyone there is this one (1) *special* person out there. So let her be in a QPR!!! Is my main argument for this that I finally want QPR representation, especially in mainstream media? Yes, but that doesn’t make it any less important. I  mean is that really too much to ask?

Now, I know Enid is the most prominent choice for Wednesday’s QPR and I hear and support you but may I propose Tyler...? Hear me out:

I know him saying she was sending him signals got some mixed reactions to say the least. But most people at some point deluded themselves into thinking their crush was sending them signals when their crush very much did not. And also, it’s not as if Wednesday sent anyone else non-platonic signals because she’s probably aroace. Add to that Tyler might be aroace himself but in denial so all he knows about romantic/sexual relations is what society and media taught him and the whole situation gets even more confusing

So why Tyler? (let me preface this by saying this is gonna include some self-projection but isn’t that the point?)

It’s very clear that he cares about her and is very intent on clear communication. Wednesday would always know where she stands with him and we know he has the nerve to ask her where he stands with her and is respectful of her boundaries. Which is important in any relationship but especially in a QPR. Also the fact that she kissed him shows that she felt comfortable enough to explore her own limits with him and trusts him to stop when she shows signs of discomfort because his previous actions were proof that he does.

Of course there is the issue of the Hyde but the more I think about it the more adamant I become that this is not his fault. Like he was groomed/manipulated/traumatized so much. We know he did not intentionally start everything and I would not be surprised if he  actually did not enjoy any part of it. But he was told that he did over and over again so he finally deluded himself into believing that because it gave him some sense of control. (honestly, how many groomed ppl during the relationship think that they actually want this only to later realize that they very much did not). Especially given how emotionally vulnerable he was in that entire situation.

But why should Tyler be in a QPR? I’ve stated before (on Twitter) that I believe both Tyler and Wednesday are queer. I don’t care if you call it mlm/wlw solidarity, bi4bi, QPR, ... there’s something fruity going on between these two. Now this is where the self-projection is getting heavy. The whole Hyde thing will probably cause an alienation between Tyler and his body because so much happened to his body that he had absolutely no control. And as someone whose body does a lot of stuff I have no control over because of my physical disability, let me tell you that it makes intimacy with other people complicated to unappealing (now, I have no way of knowing if I’m simply on the ace-spectrum or if sth caused by my anxiety about my temperamental body. But since I’m generally interested in it but then end up worrying myself in a frenzy about my body’s movements during something as simple as a cuddle session even though physical touch is my primary love language I’m leaning towards the latter). So Tyler would also need to be in a relationship with someone who is aware and respectful of his physical boundaries.

And that’s why I think they should be in a QPR together and will now delude myself into thinking that the show is giving us signals that it will happen even though it’s absolutely unrealistic.

#wednesday #wednesday addams #wednesday and tyler #qpr #tyler galpin #wyler #aroace

[anxious-ace]

Ego island shit (this au is probably one of the oldest ones I have, this was before I had any kind of social media or phone for that matter):

Ego island is a nation of different YouTubers' egos and a whole population of non-egos (I'm not talking about non-canon egos, I'm talking about semi-real people)

Semi-real because they're not egos (canon or not), but they're not real people either

This island/nation is like a connective space where all egos live (if you make an ego, they live there)

The main ones are the septics, Ipliers, Sanders sides, and Gierison Guardians (Nate and Ethan's egos are also there)

Rook Island is a separate island that egos can drive to through a tunnel-like system (this is to prevent flooding)

It sucks that they had a war that took 9 years (it ended 3 months ago, they are in the process of cleaning everything)

Angus was gone for the entire time because he was fighting/doing supply runs in the war

(He has flashbacks when fireworks go off because they kinda sound like gunshots but not, poor man's PTSD/anxiety is through the fucking roof right now)

He has been going back to his survival hunter roots and even picked up another job (hitman) since then

(I should make a separate post for Angus things)

They are now an independent nation but the tunnel is still open to ego island residents

There was this force field around Rook Island keeping people in (refugees did get out thanks to Angus destroying the shit after getting his face burned by it)

(It's surprisingly flammable)

The egos can leave the mindscape (or whatever you want to call it) and enter the real world like in Sanders sides or when Schneeplestein walked into Seán's room and started talking to him (I don't remember what video it was but I remember seeing a clip from one of his bloopers videos)

(OOC) I have made my own egos based on the egos, I'll have to show them to you guys at some point but I'll have to dig up old pictures (that I drew by hand), rethink their stories, and explain their relationships with each other and other (let's call them "creators") egos

(Kate created them as well as the Guardians in the au)

"Creator" refers to the YouTubers who have created egos (and Kate I guess)

The word "formed" is used to describe how they came to be in the real world, like fans would say that Anti formed in 2016

The truth would be that he was born in 1985 (or something like that)

(egos are born on ego island and have their own parents/families)

Egos can only "die" if absolutely nobody remembers them

Egos who are canonically dead, like the unus annus bois and Crystal, can still be "alive" if people remember them

(They're alive in the sense that they live in the mindscape with their fellow egos despite being canonically dead)

Soul shards/stones are what house scape dwellers' souls (duh)

Almost every stone is shaped like the thing above sims' heads whereas .01% of them are shaped like 4 spike stars

(There are 200,000 people on Rook Island and 20 of them have star stones, that's how rare it is)

Artificial souls have to be used for transplants because there aren't enough people that can donate

#jacksepticeye egos #markiplier egos #ego islands au

[xanadu07]

There are so many things I wish I could have told you, but I just didn’t have the courage. I have strong feelings of all kind, that constantly change and consume my soul. Questions upon questions, overthinking everything. I find myself in deep pain and sadness, so overwhelming that I just lose control. It s your choice if you ignore this, or you reply. But things need to at least be taken off my chest because I genuinely feel I am going insane.

Mostly these things came up to me after our meeting. I was absolutely sure I completely destroyed you, even you made me sure of it. You never lost the oportunity to make me feel that you are mess because of me, and until last months, I was there for you. Since we broke up, even though it was extremely hard for me, I was there. And now I simply cannot understand how do you say the things you say. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am glad that you are okay, but why did you have to destroy me in the process of your healing? I know I was terrible, but why did we go through months of you telling me horrible things, such as “I regret being with you” or “you are the reason I probably won’t love again” only so now you can tell me that someone has feelings for you and you might do something about it? I am not trying to get in your way, but this situation fills me with rage and despair. Why did you do this to me, only to find out in the end that I am the one who has problems such as social anxiety and panic attacks, and meanwhile you do not exclude being with someone else in the near future. Why did you tell me it would crush you if I would find someone but then you are telling me this?

I really don’t want this text to turn into a fight, I just need to let them out. I loved our discussion we had recently, but first thought I had after you left was “she didn’t apologize for a single thing she’s done” I know you don’t care much for apologies, but you are perfectly aware that hearing it might actually make a huge difference. I have probably been guilty for more, but look who is ok now and who is not. It absolutely hurts the shit out of me that I didn’t feel for a split second that you were sorry for the things you ve done to me. What would be the argument? What I did was worse? It so probably is, but that doesn’t mean that you can do this and just not feel sorry for a second. You said you care about me, so hear me out. To my maximum capabilities I’ve done absolutely everything I could to care for you. I know I have done plently mistakes but I kept going. I chose to dissapear when I noticed that I am not capabale of helping you, and you healed yourself.

It is so difficult to write all this, I don’t even know what I feel right now. Do I still love you, or do I love the memory of you? Do I miss you, or do I miss us? On one hand, I feel like leaving you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever done, but on the other hand I feel it was the right thing to do. Under the wrong circumstances but the right thing to do. Because even ignoring the things I have done we have got to a point where we couldn’t resonate as we could past years. On the day of our breakup, when I told you I lost feelings, that was bullshit. I thought I did because of the things that accumulated and the fact that we actually reached a breaking point in our relationship where it would have been extremely hard to continue. Now that you are better I am sure you feel the same. But do we feel the same on other things? You see, I don’t want you to love me, because loving me made you unhappy. It’s wierd, I am wierd. I wish you nothing but happiness, but a little thing inside me is killing me that I couldn’t offer you this anymore. On the other hand I feel grateful for everything that happened. So, here I am, stuck between feelings, but one thing I know for certain. You will always mean a lot to me, and in my way, I will always care for you and love you. Even though I feel you got me to a point from where it is impossible to get up, I will always love you. And I will do it how I love best, and how I will surely not hurt you. From the distance. I may be loving a memory, but that’s how you remained in me, the most beautiful memory. I can see just the most beautiful part of you, and even if you did what you did to me, I love even that version of you. I know you are sorry and you did not mean it, but it would mean the world if I actually heard it from you. It’s completely up to you, if you answer to this or not. I just, really needed to say it. Didn’t want to text you, but I wanted you to see. Somehow you are still the most important to me. And I can’t understand why I feel what I feel, and I am even questioning if I actually feel this, or I am just depressed and caught inside a cage of guilt and suffering. I did the best I could, even know, the thought of hurting you makes me cry, and even if you hurt me, you do not seem to care enough to say a lousy “I am sorry” for it. I do not want to anger you, please try to believe that this words have the tone that I had on the night we met. I am sorry for everything, I am sorry for existing, I am sorry for being toxic to you, I am sorry for hurting you. I just desperately seek redemption and it seems I may not even deserve it. I am such a mess. I am glad you are not, but I am so confused of how things changed so fast. I am in severe pain. I know you cannot be here for me, I won’t dare to ask it because it would hurt both of us, but I actually feel like this is how I will be from now on. I want you to be happy, and I feel that my poor existence stands in your way. I am hurting so bad, but I probably deserve it. The wheel has turned, as you warned me, and maybe your are happy about it. So let it be the way it is. Maybe I actually am a horrible person and only deserve suffering, and maybe you are a great person and you only deserve happiness. I am sorry for my life, I am sorry for wasting your time, I am sorry for feeling sorry. Oh my, I am such a mess. Please don’t be angry with me, because it seems that your attention controls me. I hate it, but I love it. I am such a fucking mess and I hate to blame you for it, but I am just trying to put down in words everything that my head is. So you see, I’m in trouble. I am sorry I am putting you through this. May this be something you respond to, or may this be my memory.