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my-name-is-luka · 4 years

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Something people don't understand about Lucio's route

[Also, something important to take in count: I'm really tired, I've been listenting to Florence + The Machine, Aurora, and Hozier all day, I just played Lucio's new chapter, and this may not be really well-written or make actual sense. I don't know, I'll probably delete it later.]

We all know that the MC has to prevent the LIs to fall back into their old habits, right? We have to prevent Julian from self-sacrificing and thinking of himself as someone dangerous because of not knowing whether he killed Lucio or not, we have to prevent Muriel from isolating himself and considering himself a monster because of his times at the Coliseum, and so goes on with the other characters. We also know that each character, LIs or not, has a patron, they all represent one of the major arcana— Morga represents the Chariot, Portia represents the Star, Valerius represents the Hierophant, and so on. The only characters I can think of right now without a patron are Lutz (Lucio's father, who doesn't even has a sprite), Tasya, and Khamgalai.

However, people tend to think that Lucio's Reversed Ending will simply (key word being "simply") be about him going back to being a dictator who doesn't care about his people, that he will seek power once again, that he will join the Devil on his plan or something like that, and it's just... no. It doesn't fit. It won't be only about that.

Let's see the meaning of the Devil, Lucio's patron, according to The Arcana fandom wiki page about the tarot deck:

Upright: The Devil knows there is power in perception. He binds those who cannot see their path to freedom.

Meaning: Shake off his veil: you are not trapped. There is always a way out of even the darkest places.

Reversed: The Devil loses influence over his flock as the chains of bondage drop from his tight grasp.

Meaning: It is time to clean house: purge the things that harm you from your life. Take back your power.

The main problem with Lucio is not that he was a dictator, he wants to fix his mistakes, he feels sorry for it, and he doesn't want to do it again. No, the problem with Lucio is that his life consisted mostly in one thing— running away. From Morga, from the courtiers, from the plague, from the Devil, from his deals, from everything.

The Devil, in tarot, is about bounding, and taking in count that Lucio avoids his problems and escapes from them, it could mean something good for his character arc. He would stop running away, and finally do something with the mess he made.

But, this doesn't end here. It would be too easy if it did. Remember The Star, the book in which the MC and their blond goat encountered the Arcana? Also, do you remember who else had the Fool's powers apart from the apprentice? Yes, our dear count.

Let's now see the meaning of the Fool:

Upright: The Fool stands on a cliff's edge, overlooking the limitless potential of their future.

Meaning: The way is uncertain, but you have all the tools. Make the leap. Do not let insecurity bind you.

Reversed: The Fool rushes in without guidance, ignoring all the warning signs.

Meaning: Beware of acting rashly. Consider the consequences of your actions and tread lightly in the dark.

Let's think— the Fool, reversed, is about rushing in without considering the consequences, while the Devil, upright, is about having a way out of the darkest places. Don't you think that, since he's related to both, he may represent the Fool reversed and the Devil upright?

Let's take this a bit further; the Fool, upright, is about being brave enough to face the future, while the Devil, reversed, is about getting rid of harmful things and take back your power, about escaping from his chains. And you know who not only has the Fool's powers, but also can break the Devil's chains? Yes, the MC.

What I'm trying to say is: the meaning of the tarot cards matter, and a lot. The Devil's meaning isn't inherently bad, and the Fool's meaning isn't inherently good. It seems like Lucio and the MC share two patrons. Also, from what we saw, I think that Lucio's Reversed Ending won't be just about "going back to evil", it would be about running away. Again.

There are two versions of the love confession in The Moon (you can find both here, credit to @snake-sweaters). One of them is more like "We're alone, but together in this" (a bit possessive, it kind of excludes, oh, I don't know, the rest of the world they're tying to save), while the other one is like "I want a future with you, after we fix up all of this, and I want to change and actually be useful" (clearly character development from the selfish, problem avoider Lucio we had at the start from his route). I think the first one leads to the Reversed Ending; it feels like "us against the world", while the second one feels more like "us for the world". You get me?

To finish this mini-essay, I want to show you a small hint we've got with these two decisions when the dead ask the MC and Lucio what they're going to do to save the world.

This is what happens when you choose "whatever we can"

And this is what happens when you choose "whatever's necessary"

If you ask me, "whatever we can" is the upright choice— do you think the dead would ask the MC "by whatever means necessary?" in an "are you really sure?" kind of way and their (the apprentice) voice would go through the city like a thunder? Like, in the other Reversed Endings the characters do what they feel is necessary, despite it being pretty fucked up, instead of doing what they can.

Also, whichever choice the MC took Lucio would be all like "yeah, me too, I'll do the same", so... yeah.

I think that if Lucio went back to his old self it would be because he'll do whatever's necessary to stop the Devil or something like that, or he may try to run away from him with the MC, letting chaos unleash everywhere, but not actually caring about it. He has the apprentice, after all, what else could he want?

TL;DR: Lucio's bad habit isn't just "being bad", it's running away, not keeping his word, and not adressing any of his or other people's problems. I think his Reversed Ending will be about him avoiding the Devil so he can be with the MC, which will lead to him not keeping his promise of saving the world and becoming better, which will lead to... well, old Lucio.

#the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana spoilers #the arcana lucio #the arcana game lucio #lucio the arcana #lucio the arcana game #lucio the goat #lucio the count #count lucio #montag #montag morgasson #lucio morgasson #lucio route #lucio route spoilers #lucio meta #lucio theory

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daisies-write · 4 years

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Warm faces

Tomioka Giyuu x Shy!reader

Hey anon, sorry for the long wait, I hope you like it!

Requested by: Anon (I’m so sorry, we accidentally deleted your request, I hope you can see this-)

TW: none

Writer: Ari

Word count: 561

You and Giyuu never really talked. Sure, you exchanged greetings and formalities, but you never had a real conversation. You were in different worlds: he was a Hashira, while you were just a Kanoe. Plus, Giyuu wasn’t the most approachable person around and there never was a reason to talk. It is what it is. Except you hated it. You were infatuated with the pillar, and you wanted this situation to change. But you weren’t the most sociable person either. Far from that. The thought of interacting with strangers makes you nervous. So it stayed this way for a while, you being afraid to make a move and Giyuu being unaware of your feelings. Until a certain conversation with your friend.

“You know staring at him won’t make him like you back, right?”

“Aoi!” you stammer,”I- well, it’s hard for me okay? He’ll think I'm weird if I talk to him out of nowhere and he probably doesn’t feel the same and-”

“Save your excuses,” she interrupts, before continuing with a softer tone. “Just talk to him, he isn’t going to bite you.”

“You know I can’t do it, Aoi. I’m just not brave enough.”

“You go slay demons but can’t talk to a boy?” She asks, eyebrows raised.

“...”

It took a lot of convincing, but you finally talked to Giyuu. You were planning to confess, but you chickened out at the last moment and told him you wanted him to train you instead. He was sceptical at first, but soon agreed to your request. Even though you were always tired and sore at the end of your training sessions, you were grateful for these hours, because you got to hang out with him more. Over time, you guys got closer, which didn’t really help with your feelings. They grew even stronger with your friendship.

The day you confessed was just another day. You were drinking water, talking about everything and nothing. You had just cracked a dumb joke, one you didn’t even say properly, because you kept bursting into laughter while trying to. But when you looked over to Giyuu, he had a soft smile on his features, one with so much fondness and warmth. Your cheeks warm, you suddenly blurted out what you felt: "I-I like you."

Silence.

You were regretting your decision, wanting to be buried alive.

“You’re lying.”

That would’ve stung, if you hadn’t noticed the hurt in his averted gaze.

He was being insecure.

After realizing that, you made it your mission to persuade him. To do so, you showered him with compliments and small gifts. And while these attempts were clumsy and filled with stuttering and blushing, seeing his reactions to them (beet red face), gave you the courage to continue. All in all, you two ended up dating.

Most of your first dates were either eating together or going on walks, and were filled with uncomfortable silence. And since you both disliked PDA, it took a while for people to realize you were in a relationship. Usually, you’re the one initiating the affection, so when Giyuu kissed out of nowhere one day, both of you were left glowing as red as stop signs.

Sure, you both were inexperienced and your dates weren't the most romantic, but you cherished them nonetheless. Who cares if you're awkward as long as you can be awkward together.

#kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny imagine #kny imagines #demon slayer imagine #demon slayer imagines #giyuu tomioka x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #giyuu x reader #giyu x reader #tomioka giyu #tomioka giyuu #giyuu tomioka #ari writes #yasu reviews #x reader

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yodawgiherd · 3 years

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Insecurities

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Short main fic (anytime anyplace) reject I found while cleaning up my file. As it doesn't really fit where the story is at, and doesn’t tie into it, I could either delete it or post it here, and I decided for the latter. It's definitely "canon" in the AU tho o_o Hope you'll enjoy it :)

“So, what do you fear? “

From her perch on the dorm bed, Mikasa shot Eren a slight frown, and he shrugged innocently in response. Well, she supposed that he had the right to know, considering that she just woke him in the middle of the night by violently shoving him off the mattress they shared together, screaming. Mikasa sighed. She wasn’t used to this yet, the bed sharing, but she liked it. Most of the time, it helped to keep the nightmares at bay, but tonight was an exception, sadly, and the dream sneaked its way through Eren’s embrace and into her mind. In just those two weeks that they were together, her life felt so much brighter, and she hoped that this little accident won’t push her newfound boyfriend away. Then again, if he survived the failure of their second date, he could most likely handle a night of ruined sleep over her bad dreams.

“Why do you want to know?”, she asked, curious, “Planning on scaring me?”

A smile appeared on Eren’s face, just a small twitch of his lips.

“Of course not, I’d just like to understand you. Whatever is going on in those dreams of yours, it’s an important part of who you are.”

He fell silent, most likely waiting for her to start, but Mikasa wasn’t really feeling like talking. She just woke up from another terrible dream, in the middle of the night, and her brain was still dealing with that unpleasant reality. Instead of voicing her concerns, she bent forward, intertwining fingers with her toes, letting her hair cover her face.

“Look,”, Eren began, seeing her unresponsive, “it’s not hard to guess that your dreams have something to do with your parents, right?”

Honestly speaking, Mikasa didn’t even know why she told him about her past on their first date. Bringing up the tragedy of losing your family to someone you just met was unusual, weird, especially for someone as silent as her, but Eren just made her open up, talking to him was natural in a way she didn’t truly understand. Well, now she had to deal with the consequences. With a sigh, she nodded, just a tiny movement of her head, but he caught it.

“I don’t always have them.”, still not feeling brave enough to meet his inquisitive green gaze, she kept watching her toes, “It just happens from time to time, I can’t help it.”

“I don’t blame you, I have nightmares myself.”

She peeked up at him through the curtain of her hair, curious.

“You do?”

“It's about my dad.”, Eren leaned back in the chair where he retreated after being forcefully evicted form the bed, eyes studying her posture. He reminded her of the therapist she went to, years ago, when Levi tried helping her with those dreams this way. But therapy has no chance of working if the patient doesn’t want to, so after a few sessions of her stubbornly staring at the floor and not opening her mouth once, her brother gave up. Then again, she never had those warm feelings in her chest when she looked at the professional, but Eren made her spine tingle.

“It’s always the same. I’m standing on the ground, in the middle of nowhere, and there’s a plane flying over my head.”, he took a shuddering breath, as the topic was not exactly pleasant, “I know, I just know, that there’s my dad in there. Then suddenly, the plane starts falling, and there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I just stand there, and watch, as it goes down, spiraling until it crashes and explodes. Then I wake up.”

Mikasa didn’t even realize it, but she covered her mouth with one hand during his story, staring.

“That’s terrible, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t have it that often anymore,”, Eren shrugged appearing indifferent, “I got used to it. Kind of.”

But it was forced, this unnatural calm and Mikasa could see the pain behind his eyes. Dulled, maybe, but still present. If anything, she surely owed him her nightmares, now that he shared his own.

“I don’t really remember much,”, she began, “but I know that’s its always cold, and dark. There’s blood on the floor, and the bodies, but I can’t see their faces. Luckily.”, extending one hand, she closed it, fingers curling inwards, “I’m holding something, and it’s warm against my skin at first, but as I sit there, listening to the quiet, it always gets colder over time, until it’s like ice in my grasp.”, her breathing became agitated, “And I’m scared to trace the thing in my palm because I know what it will be, it’s always the same. It’s my mother’s hand.”, dropping her arm, she redirected her gaze back at her feet, a singular tear falling on the tips of her toes. “I usually wake up then.”

Eren didn’t say a word. Instead, she could hear the shuffling of his clothes as he stood up, and soon after the bed dipped under his weight as he sat down next to her. The arms that wrapped around her body were warm, and she leaned into the hug, closing her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder. The remnants of the nightmare finally gave up, and their cold fingers disappeared underneath the warmth. It surprised her, but it felt good to share her demons.

“Mikasa?”, he asked, waking her up a bit. She hummed in acknowledgement, not feeling like talking right now. “You told me your secret, I told you mine. It’s good to get that off your chest, no?”

She just hummed again, burrowing deeper into his embrace.

After a few minutes, Eren cleared his throat, making her look up at him. The boyish smile that she liked so much was there again, as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

“I was thinking since we aren’t sleeping anymore, maybe we could…. practice?”

It wasn’t hard to guess what he was implying. And while it might look stupid and insensitive, to suggest something like this, it was exactly what Mikasa wanted. There was only so much that talking could achieve, and the feeling of his body against hers, to know that this is real, not the nightmares, that was something they both craved right now.

“Again?”

“Why not?”, I mean, we are still far from perfect and…”

Both to silence him and her laughter, Mikasa climbed into his lap, straddling his waist as she kissed him, aggressively. Maybe there were better ways to spend your night than sleeping. She just had to make sure to watch her teeth, that’s all.

Those downtimes between classes were always the worst. It was bearable when Armin could hang out, but most of the time his friend was unavailable, as his breaks were on different times than Eren’s. Just perfect. Like, what exactly could you achieve in an hour? Eren usually just ended up wandering around the campus, sitting down somewhere to review his notes, or meditating on the futility of life and whatnot.

Today was the first day he found himself in front of the gym, looking at the entrance. Contrary to the masses, he didn’t even come here to work out himself, but rather to meet someone who spends almost all her waking hours here, in her own words. Pushing the door open, he had to admit that the room was in a rather good state. The walls seemed freshly painted, the air inside was kept cool through the ventilation system, and the music was silent enough to offer the beat the gym-goers were most likely looking for. Eyes darting around, he searched for the object of his interest, only to find her in front of the punching bag, going wild at it. Her hands were a blur, the leather was creaking, and Eren couldn’t help but wonder what all those guys from elementary school would say, with the whole “girls can’t fight” shit. Mikasa seemed immersed too and didn’t even notice him, taking a step back to put a few well-placed kicks to the sides of the bag. Satisfied with her performance, she took a break, putting her hands on her hips and breathing deep.

“You could kill a man with your punches.”, Eren stepped in, making her turn on her heel with a surprised expression. He grinned “You do them so fast, it must feel like getting a shot when you hit someone.”

“Eren.”, she shook her head, but she was smiling too, those dumb jokes making her feel giddy, “What are you doing here?”

“You said that you will be here, and I had some time to kill so…”, he shrugged, “can’t I come to see how you work out?”

“I mean, sure, if that’s what you want. It’s just that I was expecting someone else, that’s all.”

“Oh, a secret lover in the gym.”, with a fake expression of anger on his face, Eren scanned the room, working his muscles, “Where is this rascal?”

“Stop that.”, Mikasa poked him in the chest, unable to hold her laughter in anymore, shoulders shaking, “It’s my brother. I usually go out of the campus to his gym today, not here, but he’s got some paperwork in the city, so he said that he’s going to drop by.”

As on cue, another man appeared behind Eren, short and grumpy, looking him up and down.

“Mikasa, who is this guy?”, he arched an eyebrow, disbelief in his voice, “Your new sparring partner?”

“No, no, of course not, this is Eren, he’s my….”, she was nervous, fidgeting a bit, “friend, just friend.”

“Just” friend? Wow, that one stung.

“I see.”, Levi seemed to lost interest in Eren, turning back towards his sister, “Get to the ring, let’s see how much you slacked in your training.”

But while Mikasa was climbing up, a hand bunched up in Eren’s shirt, and the man pulled him down to his height, with unnatural strength, staring right into Eren’s eyes.

“Listen, “just friend”, I want you to know that If I ever hear that you’ve done anything bad to my little sister, I swear to god that you and I will have private sparring, between my fist and your face. And if you ever make her cry,”, he moved even closer, growling the words in Eren’s ear,” I’ll cut your balls off.”

With that, he released him, and followed Mikasa into the ring, as if nothing had happened. Right, Eren thought as he was straightening his clothes, seems like Levi didn’t buy into the friend thing much. Checking his watch, he saw that he still some time, so he leaned against the wall, watching the two siblings fight.

Hours later, when he was done with his classes and picked up Mikasa from the gym, they were walking through the darkened campus hand in hand. The air was clear, the evening quiet, and her hand in his warm, but still, the little friend thing just kept circling inside his mind.

“Mikasa?”, he began, “Can I ask you something?”

She liked the way Eren pronounced her name, how it rolled off his tongue. Her name wasn’t even that hard to say, but in her life, she met a ton of people who tried impressing her by adding that weird -h at the end of the -ka-, or by using the Japanese honorific – Chan in the end. She didn’t like either of those things. Not to mention those smart assholes who called her Gothkasa, because combining your name with your fashion style is soooo smart, right? Not even mentioning the girl who kept asking if she is sad, since all Mikasa wears is black. That one dubbed her Raven. But Eren didn’t do anything like that, he said her name exactly as it was, and she did enjoy the sound of it.

“Sure.”

“Back in the gym, why did you tell your brother that we are just friends. I kind of thought that we are … more … by now.”

“We are! Of course, we are.”, she squeezed his palm a bit tighter, pulling at it to make him stop and turn to face her. “I just never had a boyfriend before, and Levi came out of nowhere,”, she sighed, “I was surprised, and I didn’t want to break it to him like that.”, she looked up, blushing slightly, “Are you mad at me?”

As if he could ever be mad at someone as cute as her, with his red scarf wrapped around her colored cheeks.

“Nah, not mad. Your brother is a scary guy, I understand.”

“True that.”, she sniffed, “he’s the toughest midget you’ll ever meet.”

With Eren still being silent, a bit of suspicion entered her tone.

“Wait, did he tell you something? Eren?”

“Nah, nothing.”, to stop her grey gaze from staring at his face so inquisitively, he brushed the ends of formerly his scarf from her mouth, pulled her closer by the silver cross around her neck and bent down to press a kiss to Mikasa’s lips. “You still owe me one, friend.”, he murmured when they paused, and she pinched his bicep in retaliation, before surrendering to the sensation. They both still had a lot to learn in that area, anyway.

“Tell me a secret.”

“Secret?”, Mikasa half turned in his arms, watching him over a shoulder, “What secret?”

“Something about you, a thing I don’t know.”, Eren grinned, hiding it by burying his face in her hairline, “Something you wouldn’t tell just anyone.”

“Oh?”, a tiny frown appeared between her fine raven eyebrows, “And why should I tell you my secrets, mister?”

He shrugged.

“Think of it as a payment for the friend stuff.”

“I thought you understood!”

“I do, but I still demand satisfaction.”, a hand poked her, under the ribs, “C’mon Miki.”

Mikasa used to hate pet names, despise the way couples called each other as if they were children. But that was before she had Eren, and now she was strongly considering how it would feel like if he called her a kitten. Maybe not so bad after all. Before him, Mikasa never had a pet name in her life, well, if she didn’t count that Levi was usually calling her brat, but she grew to enjoy this little one Eren gave her. It was certain intimacy to it. She was also hyperaware of his touch now, of the arms around her, feeling his fingers through the fabric of the shirt. Sure, he touched her before, and she liked the way his palms roamed up and down her body when they kissed, even the few times he got lost in her and traced her shape all the way down to her ass. Mikasa usually stopped him there, for now, but overall, she was very satisfied with how his touch felt.

“You want to hear a secret.”, she cooed, putting her hands on top of his, both to press him more firmly against her skin, but also to stop him from moving. Eren sometimes tended to be more adventurous than she was comfortable with.

“Pretty please.”

“All right, well I got one.”, it was awkward, but she couldn’t think of anything else right now. So, she took a deep breath. “I used to hate my breasts.”

That silenced him for a moment.

“Your…. breasts?”, he queried, unsure if he heard her right.

“Yes.”

“But why?”

“Because they are useless! Useless weight! I mean…”, she turned around, watching his face for a change. Eren’s cheeks had a slight blush in them, but he met her eyes with a small smile, clearly interested in hearing her explanation. ”I was flat as a board when I was a kid. So, when the puberty started, and things began to…. expand, it bothered me. I know that I’m not big either way, my, uhm, chest, is small compared to other girls, but suddenly, there were two bags of fat on my chest, completely fucking up my balance. Out of nowhere, I was being forced to wear a tight bra just because otherwise my tits would bounce all over the ring when I train.”, she looked down, over the place where her shirt was raised, “I used to bind them you know.”

“For training?”

“No, for everyday life. I didn’t want them.”

“Oh.”, Eren could see that it was a sensitive topic for her, the way she saw her body, and he felt happy that she trusted him enough to share it with him. “Well for what it’s worth,”, Mikasa looked up, and he couldn’t miss that the way those few strands of hair got into her face was downright adorable, “I think that your chest is beautiful.”

She started laughing, on the cheesiness of it all, small simpers escaping her lips, so he kissed her to stop it from blowing into a full-blown explosion, and before either of them realized what was happening, she fell on her back, pulling him right along. With Eren on top of her, his hands roaming all over her sides, mouth sealed against hers, all their long weeks of training were paying off. Comparing the first time they kissed, and the second, third and a lot after that, which usually ended up with either of them laughing, losing breath, or doing something that the other didn’t like, this was much better. She knew now to open her mouth for him when he nipped at her lower lip, and to push her tongue against his, licking into his mouth, not caring how obscene sounds it was making. It felt good for them both, and that was the only thing that mattered. Considering that she was doing her best to remember the things he liked, Mikasa was rather surprised when Eren pulled back, sitting up. Did she bite his bottom lip too hard again?

“Miki…”, he began, before she could ask what was wrong, “Could I….”, suddenly she realized that his hands left her sides, and were now toying with the hem of her shirt. Eren swallowed, obviously not sure how to proceed, although it was rather easy to understand what he wanted to ask. Her face was already red, from all the kissing and stuff, but now the color must have been on par with a tomato.

But why should she deny him? They were taking it slow already, and there’s a difference between taking things slow and not moving forward at all. Just a few seconds back, she was thinking about how good Eren’s touch felt, so why would this be any different? With a mortified expression, that didn’t do justice to how she felt inside, she nodded.

Eren’s eyes went wide when he saw her agree to his proposition, but he wasn’t one to question his good fortune. Yet even with her agreement, he could feel the light uncertainty that covered Mikasa like a blanket, and he wanted that feeling gone. So instead of going right to his prize, he lifted her shirt by just a few inches, bringing her muscled stomach into view.

“I love those.”, he pointed out, tracing the shape of her abs with his fingers. They didn’t even look real, more like a sculpture, made by an ancient Greek master, the way they perfectly stood out beneath the skin. But unlike marble, Mikasa’s skin was warm to the touch.

“Why?”, she frowned down at him, “It’s just muscle.”

“Nah, it’s much more than that.”, willing to see just how much she would let him do, he dipped his head to press a kiss to her firm midriff, loving the way the skin shivered beneath his lips. “It’s proof of your dedication. Show of your strength. It’s admirable and gorgeous at the same time, just like you.”, he murmured in-between gentle nips, making Mikasa’s breath hitch in her throat. She never saw her stomach as beautiful, just useful, but the way Eren genuinely seemed to enjoy spending his time down there, it made her wonder if perhaps her torso is aesthetically pleasing after all.

But he couldn’t just spend the whole night admiring her abs, he was on a mission. With just slightly trembling fingers, he started pulling the hem of her shirt further up, eyes darting between the increasing amount of revealed pale skin and her face, to notice the moment she changes her mind and tells him to stop. But she didn’t. It was mesmerizing, watching her body come from underneath the fabric until the bottom of her chest finally came into view. They were home, relaxing after school, and Mikasa ditched her bra as always, so the shirt he was currently lifting was the only cover. With a last peek to her face, seeing her nod again, Eren held his breath and pulled upwards, with finality. The instinct to cross her hands over her chest hit Mikasa hard, now when it was bare to him, but she held herself back, fisting the bedding instead.

“Holy shit.”, Eren breathed out, running his hand over his face.

“That bad?”, Mikasa could feel the old insecurities knocking at the backdoor in her mind, the same that made her roll those bandages around her breasts, every morning before going out, that made her angry when she felt the extra weight on her chest anytime she breathed. This was a mistake, she shouldn’t have done this. Now he’s going to….

“Bad?”, the word was choked out, as Eren still had trouble controlling his breathing. “Bad?”, he repeated in disbelief, not sure why in the world would she think that, “No, it’s not bad. It’s fucking wonderful.”

“Huh?”, she asked, not sure if she heard him right.

“Whoever told you that you look bad Miki?”, he wanted to get to the bottom of this, even with his brain working on about ten percent of its capacity.

“Well…”, no one told her anything like that, now that she thought about it. Then again, the only people in her life to saw her topless were her mom, her doctor, and now Eren. The only thing the doctor said was that she’s a healthy female, as one can expect from a professional, and if mom ever said anything, Mikasa didn’t remember it. All those doubts were her own.

On top of her, Eren was having the night of his life. Sure, it was the twenty-first century, he saw boobs before, with internet, TV and everything, but it was the first time he got to see a pair live, and there was quite a significant difference. Mikasa’s chest was rather small, but with next to no excess fat on her body, what could a sane person expect? Honestly, Eren didn’t care about that one bit, she was perfect just the way she was. The perky, firm shape, the flawless skin, the darkened area around her nipples, that all combined to make her breasts one of the prettiest things he ever saw. He found himself wanting to touch it, to feel it beneath his fingers, but just as he raised his hand, Eren realized that starting to grope her might not be the nicest thing to do to Mikasa right now. That was until she spoke.

“You can t-touch me.”, she answered his unspoken question, words unsteady, eyes wide and watching his every move.

Carefully, he put one arm down, tracing the shape of her chest with his fingertips, paying special attention to the underside, where he just found out she was ticklish.

“H-Hey! Stop that!”, she squeezed out in-between the giggles, squirming beneath him, but her voice betrayed that she didn’t want him to stop. Continuing in his exploration, Eren worked his way all around the breast, cupping it with his hand and thumbing the nipple lightly. It was amazing, to find something so soft and squishy on Mikasa’s rather toned body, so he gave it a few testing squeezes. In conclusion, it felt pretty damn good. Overcome with a sudden urge, Eren leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to the top, right in the middle of the peak, which in turn made Mikasa gasp and quickly pull her shirt back down. All right, playtime was over, but Eren was immensely satisfied, nevertheless. Her breathing was shaky, a very light frown on her face, as she sat up, pushing the hair from her face.

“Couldn’t help myself.”, Eren reached out, hoping that his sudden show of affection didn’t offend her too much, and was pleasantly surprised when she took his hand, intertwining their fingers. Not too mad then, all good. “But Miki, let me tell you, your chest is god damn perfect. I love it. And my opinion should count for something, after all, I’m a certified FBI.”

That gave her a pause.

“FBI?”

“Female Body Inspector.”

With a tug, he pulled her to himself, and together they tangled back on the bed, mouths once again combining amidst the laughter. And for the first time in her life, Mikasa was glad that puberty changed her the way it did.

#fanfic #eremika #snk #aot

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merrickwccd · 3 years

Text

& if you find me, will you know me?

will you take me ? or will you fall?

closed / self para involving merrick, @thehollyxwood, @incendiarious & the uncreated but still existing in fairvale ethan jenkins, soon to be brought in when / shortly after logan finds merrick what / as if the world hasn’t already crashed down enough, not just one ex but two has shown up while holly’s sick. a/n / a lot of exposition, some background on these fucking four idiots & their time apart, and a lot emo bitch hours

she can barely hold herself together.

she had notebooks full of trauma and rages, tears and exhaustions. insecurities and confidences, things she’d never say aloud but needed to let out. for so long now, she had locked up her high school years tight, put them away in the recesses of her mind and refused to give them more than the arbitrary thought. nostalgia was a bitch - especially in times like this. it was a liar, a fool, made everything seem like it was good, even the bad.

a week ago, she could have easily told you that nothing would make her fall to her knees in desperation, that there was no way she would ever let logan norris wrap his arms around her. that seeing ethan jenkins surely wouldn’t make her heart jump in her chest, that her first two loves were merely that, figments of the past that had colored her relationships going forward.

first, there had been dallas. a near replica of logan - athletic and cocky, earnest and cute when they were alone but not one to hide who he was. they had met at intramural softball, each determined to out-pitch the other. taller than the others, she had spent afternoons walking around new york city arguing abotu which team was better - the yankees or the braves - bringing him to their summer home in maine to fish and home to meet her mother in georgia. her father had liked him enough, though she knew he had a soft spot for her former boys.

she never brought him around ethan, and logan had already disappeared from her life by then. social media ‘likes’ on posts, she’d seen him in ohio looking happy - she was determined to be the same in new york.

but dallas had his own best friend, and his own feelings for her, and the situation had felt so painstakingly familiar - she saw the way he looked at parker, the same way logan had once looked at holly, that she pulled herself free. two years to late, perhaps, but she’d never been good at avoiding collateral damage.

in her weakness, she’d written an email that never got sent. an i miss you, i’m sorry, can we please start over? but her sister and her were finally on good terms, she was on her last year at nyu, and for all she knew, logan was finding love of his own in ohio.

so it sat in her drafts until she deleted it six months later, unsent.

she channeled her emotions into a sea of stories, submitting them to publishers around the country. young adult style romances, the kind that filled hero wn bedroom back home, the kind that made the reader root for the two to get together, despite the odds. despite the casualties.

too many of her leading men had sandy hair or striking eyes, while the other half had curls that were untamed and toothy smiles.

asher worked with her in boston - a quiet, unassuming tech support guy who she bonded with over a love of sea monsters and cryptids. the two traveled around massachusetts, visiting salem and other haunted homes and towns, laughing and scaring one another with late nights curled up on her couch. a few almost brushes, a kiss here and there, but nothing ever spoken.

she had always had a weakness for boys who were too smug for their own good, or too afraid of the complications to admit their feelings. if there was no jump to hurdle, what was the point?

but asher had left before the first rumors began circling, on his way to california and a new life, and merrick had been left alone once again. wondering what it was she did wrong, another email - this time to a different address, now defunct she was sure because ethan had never been great at technology when they were constantly buzzing and sending things to one another.

and the world had ended. and merrick had faced the truth : she loved love, maybe too much, stifling and clinging to it so tight that it continued to wreck her. there had only been one person she needed to hold onto now anyways, and together they packed the sensible sedan their parents had gifted them upon merricks’ arrival in boston, claiming the sisters needed a way to get around the city but really pleased just to see them together once again. they found colette, they found a home, and merrick pushed away reminders of home.

even while wearing lulu’s cheer shorts as she practiced her knife throwing in the backyard. even while sleeping in logan’s hoodie, now smelling more of herself than her first boyfriend. even wiping the sweat off her brow with ethan’s old football tee, his number and name on her back. she whispered to colette or holly some nights, wondering if they could find them, but never with any real hope.

if they were out there, what were the chances?

and then the world ended again, in the form of holly falling ill as if she didn’t have someone to survive for. and merrick knew, logistically, that holly would fight to get free - she would. but in the meantime, she let out all the anguish and misery, all the horrors and tears she’d never shed for so many reasons, breaking down until he returned to her.

but he wasn’t alone.

she wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t seen it - curls matted down with sweat, shaking hands as he curled up on the steps of the library, her voice breaking out in a low cry - ethan ! that led her to scooping him in her arms.

if logan had kept her intact, she had done so for ethan. where she needed logan, ethan needed her.

sometimes the comparing and contrasting hurt too much to consider.

he was a shell of a person - hollow eyes and barely able to register her more than a whisper of her name - “merrick?” but she didn’t bother giving him a moment to breath before she pulled him into a tight hug, just as logan had her.

maybe this was how it was supposed to be, now.

she had made herself a promise, lost in a journal sitting in her old bedroom back in riverside. if the world had ever given her a chance again, she’d fix it. make it right.

holly could have logan. merrick would pretend she had no feelings, that their love had died away with time, that logan was merely an old friend. a brother. holly deserved him more, holly had had him first. merrick had been selfish, merrick had taken him, merrick would live the rest of her life filling guilt at the hurt on her sister’s face when she was with him, would bury her feelings until they disappeared.

they would have to eventually, right?

and ethan - he deserved more, deserved better. he deserved someone much more able to give him their whole heart. but he’d accepted when she’d given him then, and if he accepted it now, she would devote herself entirely.

no one would ever need to be any wiser.

“mer, she’s gone,” was ethan’s mumble into her hair, and her heart seized at the implications - there was only one ‘she’ between them that she’d be wondered about, her arms wrapping tighter around him. she didn’t want to know - didn’t want him to have to say - just kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his lips, grateful he was there, he was alive.

“you’re okay,” she whispered, not caring what happened for the moment, what he’d been through. “you’re here now, i’ve got you.” words she’d echoed to him so long ago, and much like then he collapsed against her, weight heavy as she ran her fingers up an down his back.

yes, this would be how it was. holly would be better, and she and logan -

merrick had ethan. and ethan had merrick. and merrick would be grateful enough for what she did have and not once ask for more. not this time.

not anymore.

#para #self para #para : logan norris #para : holly wood #para : ethan jenkins #para : cherry 2.0

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wereseoyoung · 4 years

Text

1.5k Followers Special

UNTOLD PIECES: Q&B

tw: implied assault

22.01.2014 - Moonlight Ent.

I met her brother before I met her.

She was always so busy and I’d never thought I’d meet her.

I never expected her to walk in that day. I never thought someone would stop me in my tracks just by smiling.

“Hey, can you help me out?”

30.06.2014 - ENLO Ent.

We hadn’t been friends for long, but it felt like I had known her forever.

I had never clicked with someone like I did with her. I never shared my insecurities, never told people when I was struggling. It had been so long since I had felt this happy.

I never felt as carefree as I did when I was around her.

She’s my best friend.

14.02.2015 - Han River

I never spent Valentine’s with anyone, but I did spend that one with her, walking down the river. Our hands would always brush, but I was never brave enough to hold on.

But she’d stopped in the middle of the path, and when I looked back she took my breath away. How could I not fall for her when she looked at me with a fire like that burning in her eyes?

“Move in with me.”

09.11.2015 - Moonlight Ent.

I’d never felt more afraid. I didn’t know the hands that were on me. I didn’t want to feel them on my skin. But I couldn’t even scream and I couldn’t even cry.

I didn’t even feel like I was breathing. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. Was I alive?

But then the arms around me were replaced by an embrace I knew. An embrace that meant home.

“You’re safe, now.”

And I cried.

23.12.2015 - ENLO Ent.

We were just friends, but it always felt like we were more. I always felt like I meant something when she would invite me to parties. It felt like she was parading me around, like she was showing me off.

But I had never felt like I did slow dancing with her at that Christmas party.

“Thank you for coming,” she’d whisper in my ear.

“Thank you for bringing me,” I’d say back.

“I love you,” never left my lips.

15.03.2016 - The Apartment

It had been another sleepless night without her. I missed her and I wanted her back home. But the world called to her, and what was I but a speck of dust in her glamorous lifestyle.

But she was coming home back tonight.

But I hadn’t expected her to come into my room, to hug me tight and to envelop me in a scent that was nothing but her. I hadn’t expected her to press her lips against my own, and then pull away leaving me wanting more.

“All these months I spent missing you, and coming back home to you made me sure,” she’d say, and I’d feel her breath brushing against my lips.

“Of what?”

“I love you. Be mine.”

29.08.2016 - ENLO Ent.

It hadn’t been the first time she had showed me a song she was working on.

But it was the first time the song had been about me.

“Why are you crying?”

“I love you.”

15.03.2017 - The Apartment

It was our anniversary, but we were spending it inside our apartment.

We both hated it, but it was safer that way.

04.06.2017 - Moonlight Ent.

Her brother had asked me if I had heard anything from her album, but she had refused to spoil anything. I knew as much as the public did.

I should have known she was up to something when he had smiled at me like that before he played me the whole album.

Every song was about me.

“She did say you would cry when you found out.”

31.12.2017 - Park Household

I had been undoubtedly nervous. This was the first time I would be spending time with her family other than her brother.

But when her parents and sister smiled at me, I had never felt more welcomed.

“We’ve been waiting to meet you. She hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

11.01.2018 - The Apartment

She was away again travelling the world. And I’d wanted to come along, but I knew I couldn’t. Short calls, texts and pictures were all I had, but it was more than I could ask for.

But when I opened a letter telling me I had been offered an internship at my dream company thanks to her recommendation, I couldn’t help but wish she was here with me so I could thank her and kiss her a thousand times.

“You’re too good for me,” I’d tell her that night through the phone.

19.02.2018 - MS Ent.

I was behind, but I shouldn’t have let that consumed me. I spent so many hours in that studio and forgot what was most important.

I forgot about her.

‘Where are you?’

15.03.2018 - The Apartment

Maybe it was payback for what I had done. Maybe I deserved it.

I sat alone at our dining table watching candles die out, waiting for someone who wouldn’t come.

“I’m sorry. I lost track of time at the studio,” she’d say, pretending as if there wasn’t music and loud voices in the background. “I’m on my way home now.”

She had never been at her agency today.

I would know after the receptionist informed me she hadn’t checked in for the day.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” I’d say, knowing she wouldn’t come home til after midnight.

16.03.2018 - The Apartment

I was making breakfast mindlessly listening to the news. When I would wake her up with water and aspirin for her headache, I would pretend like I hadn’t cried. I’d pretend like I wasn’t choking on perfume that I knew wasn’t hers.

“Solo artist Q. Test was spotted leaving the nightclub ‘Noctus’ last night.”

21.03.2018 - The Apartment

It had been the sixth time in the past few days that she’d slip into bed in the early hours of the morning.

It was the fourth time she’d come back with bruises on her neck that I knew I didn’t leave behind.

“Baby, you awake?”

I didn’t react.

25.03.2018 - ??? Bar

I had been drunk out of my mind.

I couldn’t remember the name of the bar. I couldn’t even remember the name of the stranger I was kissing.

But I couldn’t forget the pit in my stomach thinking about the girl waiting for me at home.

I left her a voicemail that night before I came home.

‘It’s not fair. You’re not fair.’

27.03.2018 - MS Ent.

She’d come into the studio one day.

I wouldn’t get a single word out before she smashed her lips against mine. I had reacted just as feverishly.

We had been drifting, but we were holding on tight because we didn’t want to let go. But I knew we were on the cusp of falling apart.

“Baby, please don’t cry.”

31.03.2018 - ??? Nightclub

He was the third person I had kissed that night, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. Maybe the alcohol buzzing through my veins was finally numbing the ache in my heart and filling the pit in my gut.

It’s not like it mattered what I did anyways.

Even if she always came home afterwards, she did worse.

Breaking my heart every time she would only leave me with the same voicemail.

‘I’m sorry. I did it again.’

01.04.2018 - Moonlight Ent.

I should have known why her brother had invited me to come over to his studio. If I had known better I wouldn’t have shown up. I wouldn’t have to look into his pitying gaze.

“I’m sorry, but you have to know. She’s been ch—”

“I know. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. I’m fine. We’re fine.”

05.04.2018 - MS Ent.

I had been in the middle of a session when I had gotten her voicemail.

‘I heard your cover of ‘Love’ earlier. You sounded beautiful. You always do.’

I never answered.

08.04.2018 - ???’s Apartment

I never did understand how she could do it. How could she lie down under someone and not feel like throwing up? Did her skin not crawl when their lips trailed across her collarbone? Did she not shy away from unfamiliar hands?

I remembered pushing him off me, before grabbing for my clothes. I couldn’t even look at him without feeling sick to my stomach.

“I can’t do this. Sorry,” I’d mutter.

“Whoever you love must have fucked you up, huh?”

“I probably fucked them up, too.”

15.04.2018 - The Her Apartment

I had been in the middle of packing up my things when she got home. I hadn’t been expecting her to be back if it wasn’t two in the morning.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

“Why? Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does! You matter to me.”

I couldn’t believe a word she was saying.

“Do I?”

…

“Don’t fucking lie. Don’t say you love me when you know you fucking don’t. Coming back after you sleep with somebody else doesn’t mean shit.”

…

“Fine. Leave! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t need you at all. Break up with me. I don’t care.”

…

“I hate you!”

And I’d slam the door behind me.

16.04.2018 - The New Apartment

I really hadn’t been expecting anyone to come see me so soon after I moved in, but when I saw my sister standing there I couldn’t help but break down.

“How do I make it stop hurting?”

22.05.2018 - MS Ent.

I missed her.

I didn’t miss what we had, but I did miss my best friend.

I missed having someone to confide all my secrets in. I missed being able to vent out all my frustrations and have someone hold me and promise me everything will be alright.

And maybe she felt the same when she left me that voicemail.

‘I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t wanna hear from me but god damn I miss you. I don’t wanna get back together. I just want my best friend back. Please.’

The next time she called, I answered.

24.05.2018 - The Apartment

I could feel the distance between us.

We hadn’t even touched on anything that had happened. We were acting like nothing was wrong, but we felt it hanging over our heads.

But of course she’d come up with the idea on how to talk it out.

‘Let’s make an album together.’

28.05.2018 - ENLO Ent.

The idea itself was fine, but the actual process had been hell.

It wasn’t hard because of our music tastes.

It was hard to talk about everything without losing control of emotions. It was hard to write lyrics together. It was hard to listen to voicemails neither of us deleted without crying.

It was so fucking hard.

15.06.2018 - Moonlight Ent.

Her brother had invited me over to his studio. I remember him asking if we could get through it. He wondered if it was worth it.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just cut each other out?

He sounded like he was trying to convince us to just give up.

But I wasn’t going to. Not on this. Not on her.

27.06.2018 - ENLO Ent.

It got easier.

Easier to talk. Easier to write. Easier to smile.

It felt better. It felt right.

06.07.2018 - G.U.M. Studios

She had invited me to come with her to see the demo choreography for her title track.

I told her I didn’t need to come. I wasn’t a dancer. But she kept asking, and I’d always been weak.

“What did you think?”

“It was made for you.”

18.09.2018 - MS Ent.

I was in the studio when her album dropped, but I had my phone open. I wanted to watch her comeback stage. She’d been working on this for months and I wanted to see her blossom on that stage in the way she always did.

‘Good luck.’

19.09.2018 - The Apartment

That morning I tried to leave my apartment, before I was stormed by a crowd of people.

I was blinded by the flashing of cameras and felt like I was trapped as they screamed at me, asking me questions.

I could even speak, as if I was choking on words or maybe tears.

I ran back into my home. I didn’t remember calling her, but it was her voice that brought me back to reality.

“Are you with me?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Now don’t worry. My company and I will handle this.”

20.09.2018 - MS Ent.

I didn’t get scolded. Why would I have been? Management knew that I had been working on this project.

But after all the dirty looks I got from my coworkers, I knew that things at work wouldn’t be easy.

21.09.2018 - Her Apartment

She had invited me to our her apartment to celebrate the success of her comeback.

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the way she smiled, but suddenly we were in each other’s spaces. Her lips were on mine and I almost melted into her.

But we knew better.

We were just friends.

29.09.2018 - The Apartment

The next time we were together it was at my apartment.

She had come over to celebrate her first win for the comeback.

We shared wine. We shared smiles and laughter. But nothing more.

“Cheers! To a future together as best friends!”

19.10.2018 - MS Ent.

I hadn’t been expecting it.

Her brother apparently didn’t either, if the text accompanying the link he sent me was anything to go by.

‘I didn’t know she was doing this.’

‘When the Party’s Over - Cover’

I couldn’t help but cry before the music had even began.

‘For the person I hurt the most. I’m sorry. But you forgave me and for that I am thankful.

I won’t let you down this time.’

#untold pieces #1.5k special #tw implied assault

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jebentnietalleen · 5 years

Note

What about sharing some of your thoughts about Axel Auriant?

Honestly, where do I begin? When I started skam france, I was under Maxence’s spell, ngl. I had eyes, I knew he was a model and that he was freaking hot. And I mean, that hasn’t changed, but over time, slowly but surely, Axel crept up on me. I really hate the fact that I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that I fell for that guy, but then again I think that’s probably because it happened so gradually, until one day I just had to face the facts: I am 100% gone for that boy. If I am completely honest, I think the trolling is what got me. It became a game to me, and I think the people who follow me long enough got to witness my breakdown on tumblr on the nights he kept. uploading. and. deleting. every. few. seconds. It was infuriating in the best way. The times I have used the phrase ‘OFFICER’ because of him, are countless, I’m sure. I still can’t believe that this man is insecure enough to upload and delete stuff, yet brave enough to admit to the world that he is, and that he uses humor as a mask.

He cries. He cries in real life, and he talks about it, and he shows it. He tells the world he cried when he had an argument with his girlfriend, and he got emotional during the screenings because he cares so much about Lucas and about skam france. He retweeted something about guys getting to cry to and that that’s important. He is doing so much, you guys. I am getting emotional just typing this out (shocker, right).

I love his humor and I can’t help but smile every time he or Ouba posts something on ig. And I know it might be hard to believe but I think it was only after this phase that I realized that he is really freaking gorgeous. I know, I know, but that is how I roll: I fall for someone’s personality first and foremost, and after that I can’t deny their beauty.

Don’t even get me started about the fact that he thought it might be unrealistic for a guy that looks like Maxence to fall for someone like him. Or the fact that he thought his eyelashes were to long, so he cut them off and had to wear fake ones for part of the show.

Not only is he funny, honest, open and fragile, he kicks toxic masculinity to the ground and stomps on it. He is openly affectionate with his male castmates, but also with his male friends. He will cut a homophobe if he has to, and you just know that late at night he sits behind his laptop and types stuff in twitter just to seek out the haters and torch them down. You gotta admire that, because that’s so powerful: he uses his fame to let the world know that this is not okay. And it’s not like he has nothing to do with his time, he has multiple plays, movies and other projects coming up, and oh yeah also a personal life he needs to tend to.

Speaking of twitter, the fact that he tries to find every fan who wrote him on twitter to thank them personally for their letters and gifts? Wow. As someone who gave him a letter, I know that he tries to convey this to everybody, but it’s true: he reads everything he gets, he cries about fan letters and calls Maxence and David to share it, he uses the gifts he gets an lets fans know by taking a picture of that, he is so incredibly grateful for everyone.

He and Maxence didn’t want people to pay for the convention or the photoshoots, I am sure of it, and that’s why they announced that they would donate the money for their duo photoshoot to charity, and that’s why he insists on giving all the fans who payed to be there everything they came for and answered all the questions even after the Q&A was suppose to be over, and why when I said to him: ‘it’s been a long day’ all he said was: ‘no no no, it’s been a cool day!’ and he meant it. I know he meant it. His energy, you guys, you don’t even know. I mean I know that you know, but once you have met him, that’s when you truly realize it. I know it might sound pretentious but I am sorry it’s just true. It’s off the charts. He is able to keep the party going, he makes people laugh, he is chaotic in the best kind of way, the security guard couldn’t help but smile at him, even though he wanted to ‘grab the little one by his neck’. But even though he has that much (chaotic) energy, he still manages to send out this absolutely chill vibe, like. I can’t even explain it. But his presence just calmed me down. I believe in transfering energy and his energy is just amazing. It’s not chaotic at all, it’s soothing. Y’all know how much I loved Axel before meeting him, but you best believe that love grew 100 times more since I have met him, talked to him, took photo’s with him. Yeah. I still can’t believe that happened tbh but it did.

His talent? Oh my god. I think I might be the person who used that Oscar meme the most during season 3, but I am valid, I am right and I should say it, tbfh. He deserves all the awards. The range of that man. The way he can cry and make you feel like pure shit for him. His hearteyes? Wow. Show me an actor who plays being in love more convincingly than him. I’ll wait. Yes okay, Maxence too, I agree. (what? I just assume people will bring that up, I’m not going crazy here talking to myself. 👀💀 sjfhsjhfs) also, now that we are mentioning it, the way he just fully gave himself and really went all in with the kissing and love making scenes is truly amazing tbh. Also, look, we all think it’s not the smartest idea to punch a gate, but he really did that. He really took it that far. He really ran faster than the van that was suppose to capture him on film in vendredi 20h27 the second.

Not only can he act, he plays drums, piano, can sing, really, what can’t this guy do?

Okay, okay, listen, I held off (well, for the most part) until the very end, but I gotta go there…. he is, without a doubt, one of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen. On and offscreen. Those eyes, that hair, hands. Yeah. hands. I said what I said. How dare he be cute one moment and a smoking hot mannequin elite the next?? Let me live, Axel, jfc.

In conclusion: name. me. a. better. man!!!!!!!!

#axel auriant #this got out of hand #nobody is surprised #if i need to put this under a 'read more' cut let me know sjfhsjfhsjfsh

127 notes · View notes

foolsgoldt · 5 years

Note

aLl the texts

TEXT MEME .

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i was sleeping, dickhead[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i’ll text you later, when i’m AWAKE

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ deleted ➟ sansa. ] i miss you[ deleted ➟ sansa. ] i’m lying

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] canapés[ sent ➟ sansa. ] canapés[ sent ➟ sansa. ] coming*** jfc

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] like rlly, all im saying is that iggy azalea has got some real bops :/[ sent ➟ sansa. ] nobody respects her[ sent ➟ sansa. ] nobody respects ME

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] netflix & chill ?[ sent ➟ sansa. ] lmao jk[ sent ➟ sansa. ] but not really tho. you should come over

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] all i hear is myrcella talking to her friends, like[ sent ➟ sansa. ] it’s almost midnight[ sent ➟ sansa. ] give me the strength not to sock them all in their dumb little faces

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ sent ➟ stark #5. ] what, you think you’re better than me now?[ sent ➟ stark #5. ] all that shit you say, about how i treated you? i’m not even sorry for it. i hope you know that[ sent ➟ stark #5. ] you deserved it

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] lmao had to watch ‘brave’ with tommen. reminded me of your family[ sent ➟ sansa. ] bunch of red headed fucks

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] please tell me you’re almost home[ sent ➟ sansa. ] fr your dogs don’t like me. they’re two fucking seconds away from biting me[ sent ➟ sansa. ] SANS A

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i know you’re insecure sometimes, but honestly. don’t be. you’re smart and you’re beautiful and you’re the strongest person i know[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i’m so lucky to have you in my life

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] do you know how to get gum out of hair without cutting it out. asking for a friend

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] mum’s letting me have the cabin this week for hunting[ sent ➟ sansa. ] YEET[ sent ➟ sansa. ] do you wanna come

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] idk man, sometimes i think she’s actually stupid[ sent ➟ sansa. ] wrong person[ sent ➟ sansa. ] love u

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i’m not going to change, don’t you get that?? i can’t and i won’t. not for you, not for anybody else.[ sent ➟ sansa. ] you’re not worth it [ sent ➟ sansa. ] either deal with that or leave, like. idgaf[ sent ➟ sansa. ] i don’t need you

#winterdove #( THANKs. i HATE it )#cut for length #( i'm a serious roleplay blog i say as i write an ic YEET )#. * ゜♚ ━━━ CONTEMPORARY CALIGULA / modern verse.

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skamfairy · 5 years

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - thoughts after reading it for the first time

oh my god it’s come to this. we made it. WE ARE HERE. at the end. im emotional. shsajhahjs THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. This whole book has left me so emotionally drained but not in a bad way. it made me feel so so so much and change everything and i’m just shjjhsahjas I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS but i’m also worried i’ll forget things cos i took a long time to read this and a lot happened so ashjashjas let’s see how i go (i really should have kept notes as i read but i’m chaotic and it’s too late sajsahj i’ll do that if i ever review a book on here again)

THIS IS SO LONG so if you read all of this then sajhsajha wow you must really love me or harry, or both sdhjasjhahjssajh 💖

ALRIGHT lets start with dudley!! it feels like years ago now but when he actually showed feelings towards harry it was soooo good and unexpected and i really really loved that choice. like showing that he’s not a villain or anything and that he does actually care for harry despite being such a brat his whole life sahjsahj idk it made me remember that he’s just a kid too who was also raised by the dursley’s you know? anyway i loved it and i’m hoping harry and him do sorta keep in touch.

this also feels like a big part of the theme in this series i want to touch on. I feel like instead of villainising characters straight up, we sorta get to see that when you are shown nothing but cruelty and disrespect then they are the traits you will only know as you grow and it’s really sad but also creates incredible empathy and understanding in the reader when you see characters like draco and dudley kinda follow what their parents teach them. and then when you get that reminder with both characters that that’s not really them and once they begin to think for themselves or get shown something else they can finally branch away from that and be who they really are. That’s what i love so much in this series! being able to see that they aren’t evil or bad they’ve just been taught shitty behaviour and they can change once they follow their own beliefs and not those of their parents.

i also had a slight critique about slytherin’s potrayal here shjashj but i deleted it cos i felt like i ranted more than i should ashjashj but basically i just felt like there was sooooo much anti-slytherin content in the series but i got it cos i figured it was all building up to a big SLYTHERINS ARE GOOD TOO LETS BE FRIENDS moment and i mean i wasn’t wrong? we got that sorta, in the end when harry talked to his son and told him that slytherins are cool too, although the example was snape jhsjhsa. but yeah i think after all that i was expecting something more idk. especially cos i found it weird that not a single slytherin was in dumbledores army or fought on the order of phoenix side in the battle. like they all just left! but idk maybe i’m too new to hp to understand sahjsahj i just thought at least a couple slytherins would fight just to show that not all of them are bad but maybe they were scared cos of voldemort’s ties to the house shjashj sorry this still turned into a bit of a rant but i’m not like annoyed just surprised. imagine a character who was in the squad but they were slytherin sjhasjh

ANYWAY back on track shjasjhas

hedwig dying broke my god damn heart

IM CRYING remember when fred and george got turned into harry’s and they turned to each other and said in sync “WOW WE’RE IDENTICAL!” im sorry i just flicked to that page by accident to remember what to discuss next and that just made me laugh again im sahjahjhjsa

SO I GUESS THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT FRED AND GEORGE. okay yes so they are two of my fave characters EVER not just in hp but in anything i’ve ever read or watched. they bring me so much laughter and happiness and while reading this series, when i was feeling down and i needed something to get my mind of things, i would read hp. but every single time a line from fred or george came up, it would make me feel SO much joy and i can’t express how much they both helped me and brought light into my life while reading this series. and they’ll always hold a special place in my heart. i’m so thankful for this series because it introduced me to some of the most beautiful characters i’ve ever met. and fred and george are two of them. They showed how much you can give and help in such a horrible situation, just by giving people something to laugh about and that was so so so incredible to read. to see that you don’t have to be super brainy like hermione or strong or brave like ron and harry to be important and a hero. bringing light and laughter in people’s lives during a dark time is just as heroic and meaningful as anything else and i love that fred and george represented that power. (but also they had everything else too sajashjhjas) anyway i really love them. and i remember while reading this book, fred pulled the same joke he did when we first saw him in book one and it made me emotional because we have come so far and he’s still just as warm and joyful as he was 7 years ago. losing him was the worst thing in the whole series, not worst in the sense that it didn’t make sense or anything because it did and i’m glad i could feel soooo much but it was the worst thing by it hurting the worst for me personally and ishjajhashjsa im never gonna get over it. everytime i think about it i cry like i am now dammit sdhjsahjajh SO LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT

oh my god one of the things that broke my heart early on wasn’t even a death but hermione erasing herself from her parents minds to protect them???? That’s absolutely heartbreaking and sad and i love her so much. she is so clever but also so caring and brilliant and she does whatever she needs to and it’s just fucking hell it was so sad and i just hope it all worked out and she was able to undo it cos i’m really stressing about it i don’t want her to lose her parents :(( and they love her so much like we never got to see them much but i remember in the second book how supportive they were even tho it was so out of their element and scary they were just happy for their daughter and GAH I’M EMOTIONAL anyway i love hermione so much, moving on.

Ron and harry fighting??? MADE ME AGE A THOUSAND YEARS OUT OF STRESS AND PAIN that’s the worst, i hate it. i hate it when they fight. it breaks my heart because you know how much ron means to harry. he’s his number one, he’s his family, his best friend, the first person to ever love him and show him loyalty and love and what it’s like to have a brother who loves you like sahajshhjas IM SORRY ONE OF MY FAVE THINGS IN THIS WHOLE SERIES IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP 100% they mean everything to me. Ron is so insecure because he constantly feels like he’s in harry’s shadow but what he doesn’t realise is that when it comes to harry, everyone else is in his shadow because ron is the most important person to him. i mean don’t get me wrong they love hermione too ashjsahjahj but like ron and harry <3 it’s special they need each other im super asjhhajs im sorry im so passionate about their friendship and chosen family it means so much to me. like i hated it when they fought in goblet of fire and THEN I HAD TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN??? but the scene where they made up literally made me cry and scream in happiness i love them so much i don’t want them to ever not be in each others lives.

honestly i like ron and hermione! idk if that’s unpopular or what but i feel like they do make sense and their relationship was actually built up based on actual connection and years of developing.....unlike some people who never even talked and then woke up and suddenly were in love for no reason *cough*

TIME TO TALK ABOUT SAD THINGS AGAIN! dobby dying was absolutely horrible that whole chapter was SO DARK and scary and i was actually genuinely frightened for the first time in the series i was so so so scared it was horrible and then dobby came like an angel and saved the day and then he was just....gone??? it was so unfair and so sad and just i hate it so much i can’t comprehend it. he was a free elf! he didn’t deserve this. no one deserved this. that’s what was so tragic about the deaths in this series and it’s what makes everything so real. im so sad god dammit let me find something less sad to talk about again.

HARRY IS THE DESCENDANT OF THE BROTHER WHO CHOSE THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK FROM THE DEATHLY HALLOW STORY!!!! ahhhhh im so happy i love that harry is related to something so cool and ahhhhhhhh it’s honestly so good and exciting how everything came together naturally like that. and CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? like how he literally went from saying he would choose the ressurrection stone, to in the end, just leaving it in the middle of the forest? im so proud of him he breaks my heart and i just wanna protect him forever i’ve never loved someone so much like ashjsajhsa i need to stop but seriously, harry is my absolute everything i love this god damn kid help.

speaking of people who love harry.... jhsjhassjjas i really really love draco. like i feel so protective of this kid? i want to know more more more about him and i want to help him and go back in time and keep him away from all that bullshit dark stuff i can’t wait to read all the fics that analyse him because i know he’s actually a genuine good? i feel like he is. his parents let him down and he didn’t have any healthy relationships in his life to help him see another side of things even tho i know and really feel like if he did, things would have been different. he was just a kid and you could see he didn’t want this he hated it, he was so scared and alone and sahjsahjhjsa IM SORRY I LOVE HIM

OKay can i just roast voldemort for a sec by saying, he is TERRIBLE at researching plans before execution and thinking through things like he acted like a silly egotistic child im so. how did the death eaters take him seriously? i don’t understand OKAY YES I KNOW HE HAS SO MUCH POWER but pfft he kept taking snapes credit for killing dumbles. but then it turned out dumbles asked snape to anyway so like sjshjjhsa and harry roasted him with that himself. i love that kid. anyway yeah i can’t wait to make voldemort memes forever this dude is so sjsajasjkajsk i hate him but also enjoy hating him.

Remus and tonks :((( im so sad i love lupin so much it’s not fair but also now teddy is an orphan after a war just like harry and now harry is the godfather to teddy just like sirius was to him :(( im emotional.

MOLLY SLAYED BELLATRIX I LOVE HER “NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!” jhsdjhsjhsdj queen

okay okay okay finally i’ll address the thing that MESSED ME UP oh my god sajhhjashjsa so i have been complaining for ageeeees that i want LILY! BACKSTORY! and when i didn’t get it in half blood prince i was devastated sahjsahjjhsa and i figured it was never going to happen and then when i least expected it I GET ACTUAL LILY BACKSTORY CONTENT from the man i have been roasting and hating since book one im sahjshajhjas the irony kills me. anyway lily was just as amazing as i thought she was. i love her so much she’s so beautiful and kind and loyal and compassionate. she’s everything <3 and honestly i was actually able to empathise with snape? their friendship was so pure and sweet and i can’t believe he was her best friend in hogwarts this whole time. it’s really sad how he let himself be drawn to dark magic because she was never going to give up on him. him being drawn to that magic, and calling her a slur was what pushed her away and also brought her closer to james so, thanks for helping harry be born mate ashjjhas idk it’s sad and i empathise with snape now and now i can understand things i couldn’t before. LIKE EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. it’s like the missing piece has been found and i can see everything with new eyes it’s insane. and i remember seeing something about obsessive love in half blood prince and guessing that it was foreshadowing something and i think this is it. it’s just sad :(( and he actually was on dumbledores side im so sahjsahjhjas this whole thing was such a mindfuck idk what to think. but yeah i do emphasise with snape. do i like him now? no 🙈 sorry BUT i can understand him better and his character intrigues me it’s just really sad but he’s still an adult who bullies children. and daaaamn he hated harry, lucky for us he loved lily more than voldemort tho whoop i’m pretty sure my older sister loves snape tho so maybe i’m being too harsh idk

HARRY WAS A HORCRUX??? i can’t that was epic and such a shock what in the world. i’m so happy how things turned out but holy shit that was insane. yet it made so much sense im so sjjshahjas

oh i love luna ashjahjshjas just gotta say that she’s my everything <3

NEVILLE I LOVE NEVILLE HIM KILLING THE SNAKE WAS ICONIC !!!!! im so so so happy it was him. i love him so much he really showed how much bravery and potential he has i love this kid.

okay so hands down the Kings Cross chapter was one of the best chapters in this whole series. seeing dumbledore finally tell us everything and getting to hear and see his mistakes and flaws and his truth was so so so emotional for me and it felt like final closure. im so dhjahjhja the way it was written!!! just all of it every single bit of it made me feel something and OPEN AT THE CLOSE im asjhhjsahjas ofc im just god the whole thing was sooooo jhsjhasjhas THE FEELINGS im sorry im not at all articulate when it comes to this im just the whole thing played in my head so well and i still have chills just from thinking about it i really don’t want this to end :((

finally the ending, im surprised that harry married ginny (i mean i guess not surprised cos he’s her love interest, maybe just jahsjhsasahj indifferent?) but im happy that we got to see him happy and again i love that he told albus it didn’t matter if he was in slytherin cos slytherins are cool too jsshjahjsa that was so important. ALSO draco!!! they nodded 👀 also shjsahja luna and george weren’t mentione :((

OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT HOW MUCH NOSTALGIA I GOT IN SNAPES MEMORY WHEN WE SAW JAMES AND SIRIUS FIRST BECOME FRIENDS ON THE TRAIN IT MADE ME THINK OF THE FIRST BOOK IM EMOTIONAL

Now i just want to say i genuinely love harry so so so much. he’s sassy and brave and selfless and caring and he has so much anger and frustration but that never stops him from doing what he can to help people and it just :(( he deserved a happy, free and loving childhood. i love this boy with all my heart and i always will im so thankful i finally let myself actually read his story.

This series brought me so much laughter, wonder, tears, pain and magic. i’m so so so happy i finally read it sahjsajh despite avoiding and judging it my whole life lmao i was so wrong about it and this series has made me fall deeply in love with every single character and now im obsessed shjashjhjas LIKE I LITERALLY CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT i can’t im so asjhashj

im actually obsessed with harry potter i didn’t think this would ever happen to me. thank you for taking this journey with me angels 💖

anyway now i got 8(?) movies to watch for the first time sahjashashj stay tuned 💖

#Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #mikki reads hp for the first time #book review #hp #i plan on making recap/reviews for the movies as i watch them so ashjsajhsaj stay tuned for that nonsense #i'm like a cockroach #it never ends with me sahjahsjhasj

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