#still really love them

[shesnake]

the problem with mainstream fictional media today is it is predominantly made for people who don't like fictional media all that much

#pandemic really killed normie hobbies 😪 why are some of you still watching tv go outside i promise you'll love it #lockdowns created a bigger market for stream bingeing and they're still trying to hang onto them!!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[sysig]

Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)

#My art #UT #Sans #Papyrus #Ft. something smol and I do on a regular basis ♪ #This could be Handplates or it could be classic Undertale I leave that up to you lol #I definitely picked up a lot of the style quirks lol - but there are some of the ones that I like myself! Like Papyrus' darkmode clothes lol #And Sans' shorts having the stripe in the front haha - little details ♫ #Realistically it probably is Handplates tho just based on where my head's at lol - I love the Handplates dynamic :D #Handplates #I talked myself into it! Pfft ♪ #I found myself relating a lot to Sans especially while rereading - I want nothing more in the world than for my siblings to be happy! <3 #So I gathered up a bunch of ideas of things especially me and smol do together and this was the most obviously cute one haha #Easiest to do! Tho I did still go a little extra on this lol #I'm trying to do more digital stuff ♪ It wasn't the best art day and I'm still a little nervous to jump right in :') #Not doing any sketches on paper beforehand feels weird but I guess it is thematic in a way lol #And I'm still pleased with how they turned out hehe #It really does feel nice to be drawing them again <3 #And doing silly sibling things! Hehe #I dunno how clear it is since it's so ingrained into how smol and I talk to each other lol family language! #One of us will literally just announce ''bonk'' and the other will prepare for/lean in for a headbutt haha #She is a tiny bit taller than me - it's not quite /this/ extreme but she does lean down for me! S'cute <3 #I like to think Papyrus would do the same hehe ♪ Let your lazy brother headbutt you! He can only reach so far! #On minimal effort anyhow hehe #It's just a fun way to be silly together ♫♪ #Also yes I did show this to her and she cosigned lol - ''Cute'' -smol

[lilowoof]

#I made this to let out the feels of loving my friends who love me back #if I haven't met some of yall I would have literally killed myself so I am forever grateful #and the fact that those feelings have returned....but I still have you guys....it's heartwarming to know that #I love yall #*I walk away to cry out my emotions* #I am not sure if I will make it to the end of the year tbh but I also want to in order to be around my pals and to play games with them #that's how important yall are to me #god #sorry for being so emotional on a thursday night. it just hit me really hard tonight hahha

[ncutii-gatwa]

id like to thank dan and phil for not changing the way they edit videos and using the same sound effects even after so many years

#random emma thoughts #dan and phil #really just bringing it home to me #i blinked and it was 2013 again #and im kinda happy about it #can always count on dan and phil to remind me of my happiness #i love them so much still

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[cumstainedpartypants]

this has to be the cutest banter between halsin and shadowheart

Shadowheart: Halsin, if I were a druid, what animal do you think I'd be? Halsin: Given your memory issues, perhaps a goldfish? Shadowheart: I'd hoped for something a bit more exotic, but... would you carry around my fishbowl? Feed me flicks of food? Halsin: Only the finest, of course.

#this has “would you still love me if i was a worm” vibes #i really fucking love them together. their dynamic is everything #shadowheart #halsin #shadowhalsin

[nibbelraz]

A writer and His number one fan hater

#svsss #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #platonic cumplane??? #Shen Yuan #scum villian self saving system #scum villains self saving system #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #I actually have a lot of thoughts about them that i wasnt able to articulate right with words or drawings #i just think #That Shen Yuan really did like the story #like he was upset on behalf of a good character #he was upset about its potential #he absolutely wanted more for him and was upset that it was thrown away to please the masses #he had no idea what Shang Qinghua was going through #absolutely just ranked on him and YEAH IT WASNT THE BEST WORK BUT clearly it still was good enough to make Shen Yuan care #like ah #I would love to read more dynamics about them about a struggling writer and his most trusted hater to yell at him to write his heart out #also Shen Qingqiu going through svsss and seeing how much thought Shang Qinghua actually put into the story #and how much effort he actually had in it before he had to settle and scrap #like AAAAHH Im not the analysis type and my thoughts about them really are all other the place but really I think nothing is stronger then #an author and a reader #cause my man read to the very end the ABSOLUTE END #hE CARED HE CARED HE REALLY CARED NO MATTER HOWWWW MUCH HE CRIED ABOUT IT #alright dont look at me they make me go crazy #my art #nibbelraz

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[welcometogrouchland]

ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

#dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #talia al ghul #duke thomas #cassandra cain #mine #woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year #uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some #i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting #but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com #duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well #Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously) #(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason) #(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad) #i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know? #I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives #i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them #looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN #please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭 #dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course) #idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3 #anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?

[fiendishartist2]

guy who doesnt dance x guy who will drag you onto the dance floor

#theyre so sillay :3 #i need to find irl ace attorney friends bc ive only met like 1 person who really knows what it is ToT #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #ace attorney #apollo justice #klavier gavin #klapollo #i put them in fancy little outfits bc they're at an event or smth idk #i just like making fancy outfits lol #i want to redraw my old pre 7 yr gap designs bc that fic still lives in my mind and i want to do smth for it #its: the phoenix and other early birds #and its SO FUCKING GOOOODDDD #if you like apollo and you dont mind his aa6 backstory you'll love it i promise <3 read that fic okay bye :D

[wasyago]

so, would you?

nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha

#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance #doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or #or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.' #idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question... #and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms #jrwi fish and chips #jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips #the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think #tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh #ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not

[koiihpon]

Don’t wait up…

colored this panel from @thegunnsara's Back to the Past comic (part 6) :]

the bottom panel was so striking when I first saw it that I just needed to color it heheh sorry it took a while to finish ><

orig under cut vvvv

#the title is literally nothing I just pulled it out of my ass bcus I wanted a title #first thing I thought of and I didn't want to overthink it wwww #I hope you like it sara #your art is very inspiring to me <3 #I'm still learning tho so don't look at it too hard -3- I don't really know what I'm doing #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt au #fuckinnnn idk what else to tag #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #koii.png #me posting #I love coloring shit like this it just takes me so long to finish them T-T

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a #lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece #of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't #just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood #was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know #otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo #where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before #but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash #98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle #whenever ww complimented his smile though #and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other #with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt #more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances #mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash #saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2.... #ruporas art

[htub]

I really like that they made Jor-El speak Kryptonian and Clark unable to understand him. The whole "aliens speak English" thing that happens in every goddamn media has bothered me all my life. Ik sometimes Clark just gets zapped in the brain for insta-second language but that always felt like a cheap shortcut.

Jor-El had a lot on his mind when he set up that magic spaceship okay. The world was ending and he was trying to do as much as he could before time ran out so he could be there for his son. He was rushing. He likely didn't consider Kal would be raised with a whole different language and not know any Kryptonian nor have anyone to teach him.

#my adventures with superman #two talks #he still might get zapped with kryptonian but at least it wasn't immediate #let there be a language barrier #it hits home so hard too bc i barely speak my mom's language and can't really talk to my family members bc of iz #it* #that's what being raised on a different planet IS! It's isolating and sad bc that's your FAMILY and you can't even understand them #fucking love superman #clark is so close and yet so far bc everything he craves to know about himself is Right There #but he doesn't speak the language of his own people and has no way to learn #it's heartbreaking and i'm so fucking here for it

[palskippah]

Hi!

@shapeshiftinterest ’s art of kid Bowser and Luigi is the cutest thing, so I drew some of them too!

#super mario bros #bowser #luigi #bowuigi #its not really but still akjsdasd #the artist already drew bowser with his bands but i added another fang so he doesn't look that much like junior alskdad #my art #i love them #anyways bowser broke his face after that fall #alsooo i have been drawing so much of them and im kinda nervous to post but ill do it eventually alsdka #BTW shapes-the rest of ur url if you read this i love your art <333 #sorry about the tagging tho but credit must be given sjs