Tyler (Running up to Wednesday) : Why would you give Enid a knife?
Wednesday : She felt unsafe.
Tyler : Well now I feel unsafe!
Thing : - Obviously, that was the idea-
Wednesday (Pulling a knife out of her sleeve) : Do you want a knife? *Looking past Tyler*
Tyler : What! No, of course not!
Enid (Behind Tyler) : Yes, please!
Wednesday (Giving Enid another knife) : I wasn't talking to you.
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Enid: *cooks for everyone*
Enid: Alright, what do guys think?
Yoko: It’s somehow undercooked and overcooked, at the same time.
Wednesday: So, on average it’s perfect.
Ajax: It’s very salty.
Wednesday: Salt is nature’s greatest gift.
Bianca: Are there peanuts in this?
Wednesday: Nuts are important in a healthy diet.
Bianca: Yeah, but I’m very allergic.
Wednesday: If peanuts can kill you, maybe you deserve to die.
Bianca: *chokes*
Wednesday: This is the best dish I’ve ever had.
Enid: Thanks, babe.
Bianca: *falls off chair*
Wednesday: And a great dinner party too.
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targeted ad - microfic
Wednesday stepped into her shared bedroom after the sun had set one evening, finding Enid holding out a little blue bag with orange drawstrings. She wore a beam of a smile so big, it practically hurt Wednesday’s eyes as much as the offensive color scheme of the package clashing with her overly printed sweater.
“Finally, you’re back! I saw this on Insta, and I know you’ll think this is totally lame and not your thing, but it’s also - fully you.”
Wednesday tried not to wrinkle her nose. “I believe we’ve spoken about you giving in to targeted advertisements on my behalf. You have to stop allowing corporations to get the best of you, Enid. The American dollar is worth less every day, partially due to the over consumption of cheap goods manufactured overseas.”
Rolling her eyes, Enid pulled open the strings of the bag, still wearing a smirk. “These aren’t cheap, okay? And yes, it was targeted at me, for you, and I’m aware I’m playing capitalist games, or whatever,” She said in Wednesday’s classic deadpan voice. “But this one got me right through the heart and I couldn’t help myself. You only accept dead-accurate shots. So, reach in!”
Giving her own eyes a spin, Wednesday placed her backpack on Enid’s colorful quilt on her bed and closed her eyes, reaching into the bag. Her fingers gripped around something surprisingly soft and squishy. Pulling it out, she stared harshly at a six-inch wide plush raincloud, with a severe frown stitched onto it with a face and…feet.
“Isn’t it so cute!? And what totally sold it – guess what the name of it is?”
“Sunny,” Wednesday quipped flatly.
“Amuseable Storm Cloud! That’s what your dad calls you sometimes!”
“I can’t say I find it amusing,” She grumbled, placing it flat on her palm, taking in how the legs sort of dangled over the edge while it pouted.
“Well, I think it’s very fitting. Thing likes it!”
The hand gave a thumb up from where he appeared over Enid’s shoulder. Enid picked it up the plush with a little squeak of a sound, squishing the sides of it together before holding it up next to Wednesday’s face, giving a delighted nod. “Yup – as I expected. You’re twins.”
“The doctor said I ate mine in the womb,” Wednesday argued.
Enid continued to glow, skipping across the floor and putting it on a shelf next to one of Wednesday’s taxidermized squirrels. “Not your usual sort of stuffed creature, but for sure – less likely to decompose.”
“I’m very good at my craft. You don’t know what chemicals they put in the polyester stuffing. No doubt some sort of acidic compound that could burn through your skin and lead to necrosis. I’d argue that’s worse than decomposition of the dead.”
“Sounds like a Wednesday Addams personal challenge,” Enid teased, bringing the stuffed storm cloud back and waving it in front of Wednesday’s face. “Give it a hug – see if it causes you to burn from inside to outside!”
When she didn’t move a muscle, Enid carried on, “Unless, of course – you’re scared to hug a plushie. I get it. Very intimidating to show such vulnerability in the privacy of your own room.”
Without betraying a single movement of her face, Wednesday reached out, squished the plush creature to her chest, then threw it across the room when Thing snapped a picture of the moment on one of Wednesday’s old timey cameras and the flash went off.
Enid chastised him and picked it up as Wednesday sat herself at her desk, pretending not to be any further fazed. Enid sat the plush beside her typewriter and slid a hug over Wednesday’s shoulders, holding on for about ten seconds. Just when Wednesday felt her about to pull up, she lifted a hand, clutching her arms together over them before turning her face upside down to look at Enid – where her frown would be a smile.
“Thank you for thinking of me.”
“Always, Storm Cloud.”
X
Black Menagerie Update coming tomorrow | buy your own Amuseable Jellycat Storm Cloud here
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OK OK LISTEN THIS ISNT BASHING
But also as I was scrolling through Wednesday’s character tag I found this:
AND A G A I N NOT BASHING THIS PERSON BUT THE WAY I WHEEZZEEDDD BECAUSE IT INSTANTLY REMINDED ME OF THIS ICONIC POST:
Jokes aside, I still can’t believe some people actively ship Xavier and Wednesday. Like, yes I am Wenclair rot ALL THE WAY, but besides that like even Jenna herself talked about how much she wants them to be healthy platonic friends and I completely agree. Not only do we get little of healthy platonic friendships between those of the opposite gender, Xavier’s Love Interest™️ behavior was majorly entitled, obsessive, and overall super fucken shitty towards Wednesday. He acted like she owed him something? Like, hold on, I still respect people who like Xavier as a character outside his Love Interest role but y’all can’t tell me his advances towards Wednesday weren’t awful. She shows up to his art studio and he automatically assumes she’s gonna ask him to the dance? Bro not only are you incredibly arrogant but also super fucken blind because do you not SEE how uncomfortable Wednesday is? Yeah, Wednesday was an asshole to him but SURPRISE SURPRISE- she’s an asshole to everyone. Just because she’s interacting with you with some basic decency that does not mean she’s interested in you. I am looking so hard at Garrett Gates obsessing over Morticia because he saw her kindness as romantic interest right now.
Outside of his direct advances to Wednesday, not only did Xavier keep being overtly, unhealthily jealous towards other guys she was found giving any attention to as if he has any power over her choices (small acts of jealousy can be cute in some contexts, but nah he was so hostile towards Wednesday when she was seen with Tyler like wtf dude back off), Xavier was also super shit towards Bianca with his constant obsession over Wednesday. It got to the point where he asked Bianca to use her siren powers on him AS IF HE DIDNT BREAK UP WITH HER BECAUSE OF CONSTANTLY SUSPECTING HER OF USING SAID POWERS. Bianca, my darling, you deserved so much better I have no idea what you saw in Xavier. In short, he was incredibly unlikable to me. I hated Tyler for pretty much the same reasons- the, “You keep sending me these signals” scene made my blood BOIL it was so bad- but looking back he gets a pass because his insistence to be close to her was a facade so she wouldn’t suspect him as the killer. Xavier gets no such pass to his entitlement. I feel like if they took away the Love Interest label from him and developed him more into his own character who is a fellow psychic and supportive friend to homegirl he would be a much more well-written character.
Anyways I did NOT mean fer this to become a ramble on how bad of a Love Interest™️ Xavier is but yeah Wenclair fer the win and if this comes back to bite me in the ass then so be it
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