#takes too much time for my adhd brain

[sigma-el]

Home and shrooms and yellow

#artists on tumblr #landscape #tesblr #morrowind #dunmer #the elder scrolls #tes #drew this with ink pen during school #i kinda like it #i dont draw many landscapes #takes too much time for my adhd brain #i prefer faces i looove faces i love finding the special trait the special wink the special wrinkle #i love this moment you draw your oc and you're like “thats them thats them i remember them thats them!!” #but sometimes landscape is good too #mushrooms are a delight #i love shrooms #please love your local shrooms

[silenzahra]

I wanted to apologize for taking some time to read your content and comment on it. Sometimes I have days when my head is a little foggy, or I feel dizzy or sleepy, and it takes me longer than usual to find the words...

Truth be told, it's something I struggle with almost daily (and when writing too), and I think it's because I may have undiagnosed ADHD. I can't know for sure, and I won't be able to know until I can go back to therapy (hopefully soon) to try to get a diagnosis (if I do have ADHD, of course. Perhaps it's a different thing).

But... yes. Sometimes I struggle to find the words to express how deeply your stories touch me. It's not that I ignore you or anything, it's just... well. I just need some time for my brain to work properly 😅

But, of course, I'm always more than happy to read you 🥰 You are all absolutely WONDERFUL writers. May you never stop writing, because I'll be here to fangirl over your stories 👏 Even if it takes me a while to give you feedback 😅

But rest assured that, sooner or later, I will give it to you 💖

#I love you guys so much #I'm not sure about the ADHD thing but the more I read and learn about it the more I feel like... yeah. I may have it #I really hope I can get back to therapy ASAP #I stopped going a few months ago but perhaps it's time to save money to get back to it #I really feel bad taking so long to leave feedback and I just. Want my brain to work as it should 😬 #I get so frustrated when it doesn't 😅 #hopefully I can learn how to deal with this soon #in the meantime well... I'll be slow #and I'm truly and deeply sorry #I love you and your writing so much even if I take too long to let you know #you're all so amazing #I truly feel blessed that I can read you guys #such a treat! #ADHD brain? maybe

[cantsaythetword]

ALSO MEANT TO UPDATE LOL

I got diagnosed with adhd (and apparently it was a pretty easy diagnosis based on all the tests and reports and stuff lmao)

I have just gotten meds for it

We will see how it affects my productivity

Low-key hoping it'll help me write fics again 😊

But the main purpose is uni and just all round life requirements so as long as that is helped I am happy

#he speaks #im only taking the meds for short periods of time #cause i only need them for study as of right now #the jobs i work in dont need much of the difficult kind of concentration #my adhd brain quite likes the jobs im in #its just uni that's hard #but we will see if the meds help with writing too 😊😊 #crow's adhd brain

[coloursofaparadox]

brain is doing...a thing? meds are.....good?

#to clarify #i asked to switch to non-stimulant adhd meds #because of my other fun health conditions i think im way too sensitive to stimulants #so while it worked for the executive functioning part of adhd it also made my heart rate super high and kinda gave me way too much energy #so i couldnt really like....use it the way i was supposed to? i ended up not using it unless i had to get something done that day #which like....works until you realize that its not just Big Things that need to get done and theres a whole bunch of little things that #just arent happening. at all. so! non stimulant version of medication. im a few days in and it takes a lil while to ramp up to working #but so far? im not anxious or super energetic but i still get the brain feeling that i kinda always thought was how the meds were supposed #to be working. like. brain is calm and clear. im not hopping from thing to thing or sitting staring at my computer waiting for dopamine #again only been a few days it takes a couple weeks to build up more. but i have very high hopes for not being in adhd hell all the time

[steakout-05]

i think having TF2 as a special interest really early in my childhood influenced so many things about myself and my identity.... my gender is big men my sexuality is big men and my sense of humour is big men. i even named myself after the "very tiny and scrawny but still big" big man and i think about all the big men in TF2 on a semi daily basis,,,,,, anyway yeah i like the men in TF2 :)

#tf2 #this post is nigh incomprehensible #this is the true effects of autism...... having such a big special interest that it literally influences half of your entire sense of self #i think this is why i feel gender euphoria playing crusty old source games #like i literally feel so connected to TF2 it's crazy #i'm currently listening to a TF2 YTPMV and have it in the corner of my screen and my brain is just going ''ahh... the song of my people'' #i look at scout tf2 and i go ''he is just like me!!!'' #man's got adhd and likes being an asshole to the other team on the battlefield and if that isn't relatable i don't know what is #i also occasionally play as engineer and i always put my sentries in the most bitchy spots ever #like you're taking a stroll over to the point and you're like ''oop. level 3 sentry that i can't get rid of because the fucker behind it- #-won't stop helicopter parenting it. welp.'' that's my gendar #scout main to engineer main redemption arc to scout main villain arc because my sentries kept exploding pipeline #that made absolutely zero sense. #i usually play on training mode because i'm too shy to play on casual again yet and let me tell you #the amount of times i've yelled at the engineer bots because they just won't build a damn dispenser next to their sentries is insane #like maintaining a sentry would be SO MUCH EASIER if you just built a dispenser nearby. like. #when you play engie you start to not even worry about your health anymore because you're too concerned with your metallic kids to care #it's like ''oh i'm at 2 hp. wow. OH SHIT MY SENTRY GOT HIT ONCE AND LOST A SINGLE BAR OF HP I NEED TO HEAL HIM!!!!! MY SON!!!' #and you never end up dead somehow because dispenser #and when you do die it's like torture looking at the spectating cam and seeing your sentry get shot at and not being there to help it #it's like ''nooo... my son.... please i need to heal my son..... i can't bare to watch'' #i should invest in a wrangler.... hmmmm...... #anyway this post is... so autism! it's great we love to see it! #autism #i'm very tired yet feel very energised.... i'm having a neurodivergent moment hang on #spy sappin my executive functioning #my brain is literally just 3 scouts and 2 engineers doing do si do with 'erectin a river' blasting really loud at the moment #YIPPEEKIYAHIYAAAAAHYKIYO - my brain when special interest

[dragonanon]

Tfw when you're trying to limit the amount of calories you're eating, and you realize just how absurdly high calorie most things are.

#i'm trying to lose weight with the guidance of doctor by taking an appetite suppressant and eating fewer calories #it's working pretty good so far but im refusing to get my hopes up too much #i've only been taking the medicine and limiting my calories for less than 2 weeks and i've already lost almost 8 and a half pounds #i don't have a specific weight goal in mind so much as i want to be losing weight instead of gaining #at minimum i'm making sure to eat at least 1200 calories a day but no more than 1500 calories a day #this is mostly because i've read that the minimum amount you need to eat to avoid your metabolism slowing down is 1200 calories a day #the medicine has actually also been helping my ADHD some as my brain feels more....put together if that makes sense #i'm mostly just distraught because i fucking LOVE mcdonald's breakfast sandwiches but they're all like at least 400 calories #this means if i want to keep my intake low i'll need to stop buying breakfast from mcdonalds #i can be convinced to do just about anything if you offer me an sausage egg mcmuffin sandwich #it's hard and there's no way i'd be able to do this without the medicine #but at the same time i'm just so sick of being fat and not being able to wear certain clothes or do certain things because of it #i love myself i really do but i know deep down i can't keep living like this if i ever want to truly feel confident in my appearance

[kuja-kujaku]

debilitating fatigue and lack of sleep vs adderall XR. go go go. hit em with the steel chair. gimme the people’s elbow babey this body is battered and tired but by god some silly little salts in a colorful pill will force me through the day like the world’s shittiest puppet. fatigue? who is she. i’m beating the shit out of nicotine cravings behind a wendy’s but i’m gonna french kiss the first open box of menthols i find. i’m running on 4 hours of sleep. they could hire me at the local hardware store to shake cans of paint with these tremors. unstoppable force (my desire to stay in bed) meets immovable object (the necessity to go to work to make money to spend on bills and medication). i am so fine rn. trust.

#I AM PRESCRIBED THIS MEDICATION FOR BOTH ADHD AND FATIGUE #B4 ANYONE SWINGS ON ME #but Christ on the cross brother as much as it helps i feel like I really am just being piloted #I can feel when it kicks in and i am Awake but my body is not #chronic illness is. fucking like this I guess #coupled with whatever neurological damage I have #we just out here doing shit and breathing #and i take my pills on time every day like a good citizen and only one at a time etc #shit costs too much to burn through it #and it took me too much effort to get help for my adhd for me to ever risk losing access to the one thing that makes my brain work

[brookheimer]

#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours #otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care #thanks brain. #the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers #for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually #like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end #i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc #it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER #praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so #then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on #well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final #but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper #and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not #to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and #research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho #agggggghh #so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and #make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh #sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song) #i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD #depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am #i making things worse for myself. #except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me) #cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe #readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing #and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the #readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it #that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it! #that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it #raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it

[britneyshakespeare]

im just gonna tmi-medication share in the tags real quick

#tales from diana #i want to preface this with i've been prescribed adderall as-needed for adhd for a fullllll decade now #don't come at me with anti-adderall or anti-adhd-medication bullshit im not here for it!! #but my health problems have been so bad and ive been getting the worst sleep of my life lately no matter WHAT i do #i can do everything right #and btw i do not take adderall every day. which is implied by as-needed but i want to stress again I DONT NEED IT EVERY DAY #only when i do like. work. which ive been doing less and less bc of health problems! #but even though i havent been able to physically work so much i still have been taking half-doses a couple times a week just to like. read. #just to have a brain to do ANYTHING when everything is so awful and my brain is so foggy #ive always *sometimes* cut my doses in half if im not doing so much. just to save it y'know. #and ive always also *occasionally* gotten worse or even a really bad night's sleep after taking adderall #most commonly i'll wake up absurdly early the next morning and not be able to fall back asleep #rationing sleep is always something ive been in the habit of doing anyway as a person w adhd. #sleeping 4-6 hours during the week and 10-12 hours on weekends. just to make up for the deprivation y'know. #but even lately cutting my regular dose in half. it's still too much. #my current dose btw is already half of what it was in high school! i decreased my dose already years ago #but yesterday i finally got the nerve to take. a damn quarter of my own pill #and i took the smaller quarter of the half i cut in half. #i was def taking less than 5mg of my damn medication #and i actually didnt sleep like complete shit! and i was also worried #it might not be so effective. #but it actually worked quite well. i had enough focus to read for several hours #i had energy throughout the day too #i sometimes try to do caffeine on days i cant/dont wanna take adderall but caffeine just does not do the addy things so effectively. iykyk. #i cant believe i have to be so skimpy w my own life-sustaining mental health medications just bc my physical health is so bad #but whatever. whatever! #im gonna take another quarter-dose today and finish pericles prince of tyre. have a great day everyone

[nagasthia]

Nejsysjabsbsjsj i love my brainn

Everytime, I mean, every single time, I decide to draw something, no matter if I finish or not, my brain goes BAM full picture of a whole new draw, and then BAM another full picture

#i love everytime this happens #ksnsanksjsmaso #it also happens when I spend too much time looking for references #love you my creative brain <3 #yes it is a full picture #it's always really detailed clothes #it is really useful when you don't take other people designs #it sounded a little agressive #but i just didn't have a better choice of words #oh shit it's a adhd symptom

[raeofgayshine]

Headaches are objectively awful for a lot of reasons, but the worst one is that the best way to cure them (or at least the bad ones I get) is to lay in a dark room for hours on end with literally nothing (maybe quiet white noise, as a treat) but of course my brain would rather die than do nothing and be quiet so I wind up just having to suffer and do things that make my headache actively worse until I either feel like crying from the pain or like throwing up in which case I then I have to stop and take a break and maybe sleep until it gets a little better, rinse and repeat until the headache goes away or I finally fall asleep for the whole night.

#ravenpuff rambles #by headaches I mean I’m pretty sure it’s a migraine and I have chronic migraines but #you know my brain hates claiming words without confirmation because what if people get angry #anyways having a headache is probably the worst thing for my adhd ass and there is a reason I just push through them so often #a lot of times they’re just headaches that if I don’t move my head or have too much light around I can minorly do things so I learn to deal #the shitty part is the fatigue without the ability to sleep that just kills my thought process #because I could write without looking at the screen but no forming words that require thought like that is hard #can’t even daydream when my head hurts enough because the pain is distracting #anyways guess who has a headache today I’ve just kind of been pushing through #i wish I could just take the time to relax but my brain says no #but you know I’m fine and there’s nothing going on with that Nope #anyways wish I could see a doctor to talk about my headaches among other things but #good fucking luck finding one that has a spot not four months from now that take insurance and also won’t be gone in a years time #i do not live in the best place for medical care that’s for certain #I’m lucky I got a dermatologist and it took me about four months to get an appointment with him #and that was with a recommendation from my doctor who has since left #at least I got those problems under control though one thing about me is semi stable and that’s my skin #i mean it’s a nightmare but at least I have treatments and names for what’s wrong

[shrunkupthejams]

WIP Intro but I have too much ADHD for this Edition: Of Sea Jewels and Great Lords 

(Finally my favourite one!! (kind of))

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About title: So, for this I wanted to tie the meanings behind the main characters' surnames into the title while invoking a sense of certain colours and adventure, kind of? It's honestly a bit misleading.. one main character's surname is Bijoux, which is literally just the French word for jewel, and I associate them with indigo, so I put sea jewels in the title. The other main character's surname, Meredith, means something like lord/great lord, so I threw that into the title, too. It's a fantasy adventure story, so I wanted that to carry into the title, and I think it does, but the characters don't actually encounter sea jewels, or great lords; it's mostly just mountains and learning to navigate each other. 

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About: So, in recovering bewitched lost villagers for the village of Nomen, magician Geo Bijoux is saddled with the responsibility of depositing Chad Meredith under a mountain in return for the missing villagers that the local dragon has been protecting. In their reluctant travels in search of a good, uninhabited mountain, Geo learns more of the reason for Chad's eternal imprisonment, and the two, against their wishes, grow closer through their adventures and the unavoidable shenanigans that come with a pair of young magicians traversing a continent. 

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Setting: So I lied when I said Giselle & Darius is chronologically the first story that happens on Dirt; this actually happens 200-300 years before that. (I don't have exact numbers yet,,) Also, it's set all over Astelle, but mostly south of the Heart of Astelle, which is a big mountain.

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Featuring: the gays; healing from trauma; moral grayness; questioning morality, motives, and life choices; riyals to lovers (in a way); getting sick of the person you're roadtripping with, as is wont to happen; competitions of basically who can be the biggest asshole; lots of homesickness; learning to follow your heart. 

---

Do I have a playlist for it? OH YOU BET I DO :)

wip stuff taglist: @multi-lefaiye

#ps.txt #wip: of sea jewels and great lords #wip intro but i have too much adhd for this edition #hi sorry #i am SO HYPED to share this one bc my brain is just buzzing about geo & chad rn and i've barely talked about them yet :/ #but i read the most recent wip i have w/ them today (the one i posted the tantalus line from) and it was good i want to work on it!! #there was some creation myth stuff entwined in there that doesn't work and im going to mame into its own thing but!!! this wip is such new #territory for them!! (*coughs* vulnerability) and like thete are so many feelings being allowed to happen #like it's a TURNING POINT. THIS is where they start getting to a point where they're on equal groubd and can start developing feelings #for each other <3 bc they've spent the rest of the story being bitches to each other honestly but i mean chad's NOT dealing w/ his feelings #about the dragon damning him. and geo just doesn't care about chad at all so why would he be nice? there's literally like nothing in it for #them. but yk travelling together and only spending time with each other for like 9 months will change that.. #**why would they be nice #i frequently fuck up geo's pronouns ughh #they use they/them but i debated using he/him (too) bc i started this wip as a short story for a gr 10 english assignment and got attached #but i was debating bc like anxiety and what would my teacher think? (which: she was literally the theatre teacher so??? what was there to #worry about??) so yeah i get mixed up a lot #ig geo's a bit masc too? more androgynous so yeah #and chad is just he/him but he definitely has tboy swag even tho this is theoretically taking place in some sort of medieval times #but gender works really weirdly in astelle so it works <3 #god these tags better not be longer than the post ive been going on for too long aaagrhfhhdh #also omg i love the header for this it's perfect <3

[silverislander]

i know logically in my brain that i have a disorder that makes it hard for me to focus and do work, the symptoms of which are not gonna go away bc other people need/want me to do stuff, and still like. i'm behind on a bunch of shit for school rn and i'm kind of spiralling over it bc WHY IS IT HARD. this is stuff i like doing and that i want to do. and i can't for the life of me fucking do it and the deadlines are coming up and i NEED TO FUCKING GRADUATE so it has to get done

#i have two assignments due for indigenous lit and i havent even read/watched the materials which is fucking shameful ngl #im so disconnected and behind in that class its not even funny. ive been skating by reading part of the books and doing shit last minute #and i feel awful abt that in particular bc i WANT to give it my full attention. i want to learn. this is important and interesting to me #im also a week behind on my essay which terrifies me ngl #im a week OUT from the next deadline and thats not getting met. which begs the question of when im going to be able to submit it #when i asked my prof for extra time he said he trusts me to 'work conscientiously' which. god. thats so kind but i dont do that #theres an assignment next week for book history that i dont have even started and dont understand #and i cant make myself do fucking anything at all i want to fucking cry #why cant my brain work normally please this one time #why cant literally anyone in a position of authority take me seriously that its a problem i am literally begging rn #im tired of being told that im smart so i can do it bc i literally cant anymore! its been getting worse for years! #i Am smart enough to do this but something else is wrong!! please!! im trying so hard and i know its not this difficult for everyone #im only taking 4 courses! i know people taking 5 who arent struggling as much as me w workloads!! #its gonna take me failing for anyone to care and i cannot fail at this point. im almost done #levi.txt #vent tw #and then i also feel bad bc i blame everything on my adhd #but also. it does fucking affect all aspects of my life #and i feel like i complain too much but that simultaneously nobody is getting how hard shit is for me/how im not ok #delete later #im not asking for attention rn im just yelling into the void dw abt it. ill probably feel better in an hour or two

[sereniv]

people deserve to feel uncomfortable when it comes to injustice

i dont mean uncomfortable in a harmful way like being subjected to videos of death or rape when its unnecessary for you

i mean everyone and i mean EVERYONE (who is capable of understanding), needs to have someone outside their (your) experiences tell you to stfu.

Everyone needs a moment where you feel bad or guilty. Everyone needs a moment where they are called out on ignorance or bigotry on any spectrum,

so that you have the moment to just, take it. to deal with it. to suck it up

to learn to look past your emotions and to see what the real issue is

too many times people have to walk on eggshells, to be a model minority, when they want- NEED to be angry

And im not talking verbal abuse, i mean not having to be nice all the time

I mean "shut up this isnt for you" and for you to take it. "dont talk to me dont touch me" and to deal with it. "i dont trust you" "you are making me uncomfortable" "you will never understand" "stop"

To hear someone tell you how it is without filter, and to hear it, to listen, and to move on.

You say "got it" "understood" "sorry about that". you dont grovel. You act like an adult. You fucked up, or you are not what the person needs right now and thats ok. Dont dwell. You arent a bad person and you need to actually put effort into understanding that so that you can look past any opressor guilt and focus on what is more important and that is learning

But people are too used to coddling and hearing things being said in the nicest way

And i think everyone just needs to get a wake-up call at least once to humble them and learn them that you are nothing special. You not the main character. You DO make people uncomfortable sometimes just as they make you uncomfortable sometimes

I know for a fact that i do. i know that i have been ignorant, i know me not understanding something on a personal level like racism or transmisogyny has made me say things that probably made some of my friends roll their eyes.

And i know ive felt that with other people where i roll my eyes or ive felt uncomfortable

Everyone is going to have something they dont know on a personal level be it abelism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, death of a loved one, poverty, etc

I used to be scared to mess up, until i realized other people feel the same way. And that i felt like it was dumb for them to feel that way, it felt artificial like they were always calculating what they were saying or always feeling wary, and i saw that i most likely came off that way too

so i try really hard to just own up and move on. Because its not about you

youre allowed to feel bad

but like give yourself a time limit or something and keep it to yourself or write in a diary. And then do better.

Best thing you can do rn is ask someone to tell you anything theyve wanted to tell you that youve done to make them feel uncomfortable.

but you HAVE to make sure you are ready to hear it and take it and accept it, to apologize and to move on

#i still have a hard time with this sometimes im sure #i cant think rn #but like i have to assume #i talk too much when i have to just accept and move on #i have such a complex about being percieved #and a lot of times i recognize the shit i do but i cant stop #like i just keep talking and going on tangents #and its my adhd brain but ive stopped it before #so i can do it again #just stop talking take a deel breath and recognize whats more important in the moment #is it making sure someone knows the meanings and thoughts ? is that what they want to hear in the moment? #or is it just an apology #like you can explain later on if you really feel like you need to #like on a different day #but in the moment just apologize and end it there #and i hate that it know this and i have talked about this but in practice its so hard to turn my brain off #i should just write it down #i did write something down once but idk where it is. kinda defeats the purpose of writing it down if i lose it

[munch-mumbles]

kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back

#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!! #as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing #it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything #like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed #the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated #which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here #my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time #which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it #gruhhhhh . grouhhhh #i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it #now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers #GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant #i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too #scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work) #im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it! #im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication #but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it #sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention #i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a #day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it #why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #JUST PAY ATTENTION :( #i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.

[moss-and-marimos]

.

#tw vent #welp #forgot to turn in an assignment #getting an automatic 0 on this huge grade #time to kill myself I guess #nsrs but like #all the 'small' stresses really fucking adding up today #forgot to take my meds #forgot to do that assignment #fuck ton of assignments due tomorrow #hate having adhd and other people in my brain #bc we cant remember to turn in shit #fuck this #failing chemistry too #I need to kms god #I wont but Jesus Christ I could save my family so much fucking money #if they weren't wasting it on me going to college and failing my classes