#talking to a professional

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when House says Wilson's name

#house md #gregory house #prince's talk tag #after almost two weeks of going through the transcripts of every episode I finally finish this and the Wilson version #first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes #because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well #ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics #and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other #since this is the house video ill put his stats here #s1 was 19 times s2 was 31 s3 was 34 s4 was 30 s5 was 35 s6 was 58 s7 was 25 and s8 was 28 #in total he says his name 260 times. Mostly refers to him just by Wilson #He's only said Wilson's first name 7 times. Once by Jim 3 by Jimmy and 3 by James #He'll use his full name in professional settings or to be sarcastic or to pretend to be him #You know since House is the main character and in every episode of the show i thought he'd say his name more than him #but Wilson beats him by 42 times bc s7 and s8 he doesn't say his name as much. it took Wilson getting cancer for him to say it more #than he was before that point

[rabbithaver]

"Whereas Silver, I would think, for all of his openness and naivety... is hesitant to make new friends, because he's used to seeing them die. You don't want to make connections after a point, but he is also, y'know, clearly desperate to make connections, because he's a people person. He likes other people, he wants to be around other people, he wants to protect people." -- Ian Flynn, on Silver the hedgehog

(NOTE: this quote is from an upcoming Espilver BumbleKast Mini sponsored by @transmanshadow!)

#rabbit.txt #silver the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #idw sonic #idw silver #NATE SENT ME THE LINK TO THE MP3 FOR THE ESPILVER MINI AND I AM NOT EVEN ONE QUESTION IN AND IM A WRECK #SILVER HAS SEEN SUCH HORRIBLE THINGS! HES SEEN PEOPLE HE LOVES DIE!!! ITS HAPPENED SO OFTEN THAT HES USED TO IT! HE EVEN EXPECTS IT!!! #FUCKING DEVASTATING THANK YOU MR FLYNN #btw hearing this quote totally solidified my desire to at some point be on the show as a guest episode. #talking about Silver... for a whole hour... with one of the professional hedgehog understanders themselves!

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

Tending to my Instagram like a poor neglected house plant 😔 Why must it take so many spoons to maintain social media accounts

#the process of putting together a professional portfolio is SO MUCH #stove talks #AND NOW THE AI STUFF TOO

[reasonsforhope]

I can't take the state of the world anymore, every day things constantly get worse and there's literally nothing we can do. Every time things get better they're immediately undone by forces more powerful than us. I just want things to go back to the way they were before when it felt like there was hope, now it feels like humanity is doomed and will never, ever get better. I just want to die so I can finally know peace from this evil.

Hey. I'm really, really sorry you're having such a hard time. That sounds like an incredibly painful headspace to be in.

Please find someone you can talk to and who can help you - whether that's a peer counselor or a good friend or a trained mental health professional. Especially a trained mental health professional, if you can. You can find a really thorough list of crisis hotlines listed by country here.

Also, I realllllly recommend getting off any websites or social media that are contributing to you feeling like this, or at least block all the people/tags posting things that are making you feel like this. Negativity bias is real - the news/internet doesn't accurately reflect the world and neither does the way your brain perceives it

In the meantime, a few quick words/facts of comfort. I hope they can give you at least some reassurance or solace.

We literally have more reason to hope we can solve climate change than ever before x

Starting about six months ago, major international energy reports have come out for the first time showing that we have a visible, concrete path to staying under 1.5 degrees celsius x

Twenty, even ten years ago, scientists talked about whether we could possibly manage to limit global warming to 4 or 5 degrees Celsius. Now, those numbers aren't even on the map - we're talking 1.5 or 2 degrees Celsius. We've cut expected warming in half in under a decade x

Renewable energy is growing so exponentially it's now "unstoppable" x

Two hundred years ago, in 1800, there wasn't a single "liberal democracy" - a democracy that gives all citizens the right to vote - on the planet. Just over one hundred years ago, in 1900, there were five of them. Today, roughly half the countries (aka roughly 100) on the planet fall into this category. International politics is so often two steps forward, one step back, but this is actually an astonishing pace of progress in the grand scheme of things x

For all of human history, until just over 200 years ago, roughly half of all children died. Across times, across cultures. Half of all children died by the age of 15. Half of them. Today, globally, that same child mortality rate is only 4%. We did that. We changed what was previously an eternal, inescapable, and horrific condition of human existence, and we are going to keep making that rate go down x

Two steps forward, one step back, is still moving forward. There are so, so, so many reasons that we are not already doomed. There are so many reasons to think the future is going to be bright

To anyone struggling with thoughts like this: please, please give yourself the chance to see it

#Anonymous #ask #me #I am so so not a trained mental health professional or qualified to help people with this stuff #please talk to people who are qualified to help with stuff like this instead! #climate change #climate anxiety #climate hope #child mortality #humanity #good news #hope #cw sui ideation #cw sui mention #depression #climate grief #climate crisis #climate news #hope posting

[victimized-martyr]

Sorry I never gave a proper update on tumblr——

here’s some brainstorming doodles from Keo and me on the white board and some examples Keo made in my notebook. I won’t forget it, one of my harshest note was “NEVER draw Kenny in 3/4!! Trey hates that!” 🤣 The story leads stressed that Trey is very particular with acting decisions and poses, most of which don’t translate into the animation. It’s for him at the editing stage, to “make his voice sing”. Getting into Trey’s head, funnily enough, requires FEELING. Feeling what he’s going for in terms of delivery, to learn what not to take literally in his script (when trey says “kathleen kennedy is like terminator” it’s not what you initially think it means), what emotion or gesture to put in to elevate a joke, to get the message through. It’s so fascinating!

In short, I didn’t make the cut. I was “too fresh”, and needed more experience with the technical aspect of storyboarding…. but I was complimented by Keo for my intuition, something that can’t be taught. I was over the moon when I was told I got the style of the show, whereas other trainees with 10+ experience couldn’t. Some of them tested but don’t even watch the show!! That’s crazy, but I guess that’s to be expected. My knowledge of the show and deep love for the characters got me this far, but I need to work on my actual story boarding skills (keo said my struggles are in composition and scaling) to stay!! 💪🏼 I’m taking this… as a not yet, not a no. I’m already on their radar, in their database, I’m incredibly lucky I got to make my THIRD connection in the studio, I just need to work on myself until I can arrive. I’m so grateful for all the support from friends family and industry moots to get me this far, it’s only the beginning of the year but I don’t think anything could top what happened to me this March!!!!!

#south park #kyman #i’m tagging kyman bc the damn ship got me this far too credit where credit is DUE 🤣🤣🤣🤣 #behind the scenes #it’s so funny actually I drew in a lil kyman moment in my boards at the studio (not as like a haha i’m a sneak this in. more like. it just. #flows outta me lol) #and when i received notes on that panel the leads didn’t say anything abt my kyman…. they zeroed in and kinda argued w/ each other if i #should have drawn more details for the lockers or not 🤣🤣🤣 #Keo came clutch so I followed his advice in not drawing the details but greg insists abt drawing them in #and then they went into ‘well trey doesn’t say anything when I do/don’t draw them in’ and i kinda stood there like 🧍🏻‍♀️ #I thought the whole thing was hilarious in the end #maybe I should draw that moment jgkgfjfh #talk tag #I feel like I scammed everyone like…. I’ve never professionally boarded in my life. How the hell did i get this far.

[notbecauseofvictories]

My best friend and I had a call recently---she’s back with her family for a bit helping out with some hometown stuff. As part of the stuff, she’s been going through a (deceased) relative’s scrapbook, compiled in the American Midwest circa 1870-1900 and featuring mostly cut-out figures from the ads of the day.

She talked about how painstaking this relative’s work was. (Apparently the relative was careful to cut out every finger, every cowlick; this was by no means carelessly or hastily assembled.) But she also she talked about how---the baby on the baking soda ad is ugly, it is so ugly, why anyone would clip this heinously ugly illustrated baby and paste it into a scrapbook? Why would you save the (terribly told, boring) ghost story that came with your box of soap?

(Why include these things in the first place? we asked each other. ”There’s a kind of anti-capitalism to it,” she mused.)

And we discussed that for a bit---how most of the images, stories, artists, and ads were local, not national; they’re pulled from [Midwestern state] companies’ advertisements in [Midwestern state] papers, magazines, and products. As a consequence, you’re not looking at Leyendecker or Norman Rockwell illustrations, but Johann Spatz-Smith from down the road, who took a drawing class at college.

(College is the state college, and he came home on weekends and in the summer to help with the farm or earn some money at the plant.)

But it also inspired a really interesting conversation about how---we have access to so much more art, better and more professional art, than any time in history. As my bff said, all you have to do to find a great, technically proficient and lovely representational image of a baby, is to google the right keywords. But for a girl living in rural [Midwestern state] of the late 1800s, it was the baking soda ad, or literal actual babies. There was no in-between, no heading out to the nearby art museum to study oil paintings of mother and child, no studying photographs and film---such new technologies hadn’t diffused to local newspapers and circulars yet, and were far beyond the average person’s means. But cheap, semi-amateur artists? Those were definitely around, scattered between towns and nearby smallish cities.

It was a good conversation, and made me think about a couple things---the weird entitlement that “professional” and expensive art instills in viewers, how it artificially depresses the appetite for messy unprofessional art, including your own; the way that this makes your tastes narrower, less interesting, less open.

By that I mean---maybe the baby isn’t ugly! Maybe you’ve just seen too many photorealistic babies. Maybe you haven’t really stopped to contemplate that your drawing of a baby (however crude, ugly, or limited) is the best drawing of a baby you can make, and the act of drawing that lumpen, ugly baby is more sacred and profoundly human than even looking at a Mary Cassatt painting.

And even if that isn’t the case....there was this girl in [American Midwestern state] for whom it was very, very important that she capture every finger, curl, and bit of shading for that ugly soap ad baby. And some one hundred years later, her great-something-or-other took pains to preserve her work---because how terribly human it is, to seek out all the art we can find that resonates with us, preserve it, adore it.

It might be the most human impulse we have.

#I of course went on a tangent about henry darger because I love darger and he was also pulling/tracing/finding inspiration in local ads #I was also thinking of the scenes in banshees of inisherin where gleeson plays the fiddle in the bar and the woman sings #clearly not professional! nowhere near mozart. #but you know what? those people are making art. they are engaged in the most human thing you can possibly do #my mother once talked about how when she was growing up in the chicago area the irish immigrants would sing and play at parties #and her mother (one generation removed from immigration) would scoff #because who did they think they were! they weren't professionals. they were making a spectacle of themselves. #''and then it died out. no one sings and plays at parties anymore'' she said quietly #celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

[evermoredeluxe]

Taylor at the Chiefs game at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City on January 13, 2024 (x)

#im loving the professional hd videos #chiefs game 2024 #arshia talks

[thecruel]

Ewan talking about Osferth

#I HAD TO get the original footage of this interview bc he's talking about my best boy #also i know the audio is weird!!! had to use audacity to fix it bc ewan's voice was too low and i'm not a professional so lol #ewan mitchell #a real one :"))))

[killjoy-prince]

House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name

#house md #james wilson #prince's talk tag #finally!!! it's done! this and the house version took almost two weeks to do #first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes #because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well #ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics #and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other #since this is the wilson video ill put his stats here #s1 was 11 times s2 was 18 s3 was 45 s4 was 32 s5 was 41 s6 was 60 s7 was 47 and s8 was 48 #in total he says his name 302 times. Mostly refers to him just by House #the only time I've heard him say his first name its when he's being professional or when he's really angry (and that one time he proposed) #and even then it's always the full name not just the first name #the only instance I've seen him use just his first name was on that note he put on House's xmas gift that we see in season 5 #and as much as I wanted to put that moment in here he never actually says the contents of the note out loud so i had to leave it out #but what surprised me was he says House's name more than House says his name #especially when the earlier seasons didn't have him say his name as much

[hijinxinprogress]

Whenever the JL starts complaining about YJs public image YJ just straight up gaslights them

#Yj starting rumors about themselves and staging fights to make the media and jl look crazy #yj fucking with reporters and just the general public is the funniest thing to me #After the jl lectures yj about their lack of professionalism there’s always a trashy tabloid spreading rumors about yj for the next 3 month #the jl: we need to talk about your lack of professionalism in the field- #yj pretending to be sad while holding a huge stack of trashy tabloids: this is what you’re basing your opinion on?? You don’t trust me?? 🥺 #the jl having no idea they’ve been played: wait no- #young just us #young justice #yj98 #bart allen #dc impulse #kon el superboy #Greta Hayes #dc secret #Cissie king jones #Cassie sandsmark #gnc!cassie sandsmark #wondergirl #anita fite #dc empress #tim drake #dc red robin #Kon has definitely shown up ready to dismantle mfs from halfway across the world bc yj sounded distressed #And then he gets there and Barts like hold on I’ll restart it 🤩 I just found out about horror movies wtf is wrong with the past?? #Or he’s terrified Anita out her sleep again (she almost stabbed him) and she’s like dude I have fucking sleep apnea

[armoralor]

Emily Swallow’s face when d*nbo shippers in the crowd started yelling at Katee Sackhoff for saying Bo-Katan Kryze and Din Djarin have "no romantic undertones:"

Please don’t harass actors. Katee has been humoring inappropriate questions about a fictional romance for MONTHS. She has made jokes and played along to diffused awkward fan situations; ship what you want online but please don't bother actors with it (image from a different angle of this panel).

#Katee joking about having a good rapport with Brendan Wayne on set while filming does not give you the right to tell the professional actor #who has been playing this character for a decade that *they* are wrong in how they interpreted the scene THEY ACTED IN JFC #no means no. move on. you don't need the actor's blessing to ship something. go have fun by yourself and stop trying to get actors to agree #with you headcanons. if actors choose to talk about it or take part in fandom shipping discourse themselves- great. but DO NOT harrass them #for the answers you want and get mad when they disagree with you. fucking wild. #din djarin #bo-katan kryze #bo katan kryze #the armorer #the mandalorian

[kruemel8]

I hope this is Simon talking to Boris.

#simon eriksson #he needs to talk about his trauma with someone professional #and based on the trailer #shit is going to happen again #young royals #yr s3 spoilers #yr s3

[royalarmyofoz]

#girl... #jenny slate #jenny slate: seasoned professional #but like what if the therapist au was switched and this is sadie talking about katherine...

[pyjamacryptid]

I’m thinking about Gwen and Elyan tonight folks….. they were siblings, finally reunited after years, reconciled, and obviously cared for one another very much and there were hardly any on-screen interactions between them save for episodes where either one of them was in danger of some kind. Sigh.

I also know for a fact their exchanges would’ve been hilarious because it seemed that Elyan was the one person that knew how to annoy Gwen at light-speed LOL

yeselyanprincearthurofcamelot

#bbc merlin #merlin #I just really love siblings in media #and wish we got more of these two #in the ‘inbetween’ moments #I mean little moments like nudges and eye rolls #someone that brings out Gwen’s childish side the way only an annoying brother can #someone that brings out the goofier side behind elyan’s deadpan sarcasm #to know which one is the older one!!! (imo it’s Gwen) #to even see them standing together more often (and not just at their father’s grave 😭) #especially would’ve loved it while she was queen #Gwen’s trying to be professional and her idiot stoic brother is crossing his eyes at her across the room #to just tease her!!! and her tease him!!!! #I need elyan!! to give arthur!!!!!! a shovel talk!!!!!!! #and for Gwen to be like uh excuse me I haven’t seen you in years why do you think you can do this on my behalf #and Arthur is just like ‘you have my word no harm shall come to her’ #Gwen is sooo unimpressed with both of them she just leaves and they’re both like… #her displeasure is literally a fourth presence in the room … bro do u think we fucked up #idk bro… #let’s ask merlin. yeah let’s #merlin just laughs at them and tells them good luck #ok this ran away from me anyway #bbc Gwen #bbc elyan #guinevere pendragon #sir elyan #merlin meta #I guess? #ren rambles

[blackbackedjackal]

As a Gévaudan Lycan, June’s design is supposed to give off an unknowable and melancholy energy.

Gévaudan Lycans are mimics, and their emotions alter their form, especially if they have little to no control of themselves when they shift.

The way June was changed into a lycan and her experience during first shift were extremely traumatic, and over time, her lycan form reflected her feelings of loss and self-loathing. She fronts as this charming and confident woman, while holding back her deeper emotions that eventually leached into the form that reflects her true self.

Fear, sadness, loss, and rage all mixed into this one entity she cannot control. Once a month, she's forced into facing all of those emotions, reliving that trauma again and again for nearly 30 years.

#so when people say they like her design #it makes me so so happy #I put lot of thought into it #as I really wanted to reflect a top very near and dear to my heart #which is the lack of access and resources for black women (especially queer black women) for mental health #there's this kind of cultural thing #where your hairstylist is also your therapist #and June’s design and lore is a reference to that culture #all these hardworking women in the community who will just be TALKING about their experiences at hair salons #it's cathartic but also like #it happens because of how little professional help is available and accessible for the community #anyway June is a big sad cryptid werewolf and needs to not be sad :[ #she can still be a big cryptid werewolf but she needs lycantherapy #june kingston #strawberry moon