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commodorez · 5 months

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Strange question, but I'm curious. Do you have a least favourite computer?

Ohhhh, good one. I'm going to make some enemies for these, I'm sure.

Least favorite vintage computer:

Apple I

Not for any technical reasons, or anything about its history. I happen to like and respect Steve Wozniak, and everything he did in the service of computing in the 1970s. His ROM monitor known as WOZMON is only 256 bytes so it can fit into a first generation 1702A EPROM, which is damned impressive. I use the newer EWOZMON regular basis on other 6502 machines.

The Apple I exemplifies a computer that no longer exists as a computer. Rather, it's become the legendary trading card for the ultrawealthy techbro types who seek to commodify the history of the home computer revolution that they didn't bother to study. It's been reduced to no more than a static display piece, and a cornerstone of revisionist history, ignoring the larger picture.

An Apple I is considered too monetarily valuable to risk applying power to or fixing, "gotta leave it original!" with failed, leaky capacitors, doing nothing. Well if you can't use it, it ceases to be a computer because it isn't computing anything. They had almost a dozen of them at VCF West XIV, most of which were under plexiglass with a hired guard to keep an eye on them because the high price they fetch. Only one was powered up at a time under the watchful gaze of experts, handling things with museum gloves. Unlike other exhibits, these were not available to be touched or interacted with (which defeats the whole reason people enjoy vintage computer festivals).

Assuming you look beyond the hype, and get your hands on a working Apple I? It turns out to be quite underpowered and limited -- which makes sense, Woz was optimizing the shit outta his part count and budget! I wish I had his skills. It was a major technical achievement to get it to do that much with so little. It's a TV Typewriter (RIP Don Lancaster) bolted to a minimal 6502. If i had one at my disposal in the 1970s, I'd probably do like the contemporary hackers did and modify it as my budget and skills allowed. But it's 2024 and an Apple I -- you aren't allowed to do that. No, if I had an Apple I, I could sell it and buy a house with that money.

If it weren't for all that, I think I'd probably just be indifferent to it, or maybe even like it for what it is.

Least favorite general computer:

eMachines eTower 600is

What a piece of shit. I had one when it was new, running Windows ME and it was hot garbage. I could not stand this underpowered excuse for a computer after a few months when the new computer sheen wore off. Floppy drive died too soon. Didn't come with the advertised 64MB of RAM (who puts 33MB of RAM in a computer?). Hard drive was only 10GB, kept filling it up. It was filled with bloatware, the keyboard was cheap garbage. I don't begrudge my parents for buying it, they didn't know any better and I was too young to have any say in the matter. That said, it endured the shortest tenure of any computer in my house to date.

Never obsolete my ass.

#apple i #emachines #etower 600is #windows me

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months

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A year in illustration, 2023 edition (part two)

(This is part two; part one is here.)

The West Midlands Police were kind enough to upload a high-rez of their surveillance camera control room to Flickr under a CC license (they've since deleted it), and it was the perfect frame for dozens of repeating clown images with HAL9000 red noses. This worked out great. The clown face is from a 1940s ad for novelty masks.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/23/automation-blindness/#humans-in-the-loop

I spent an absurd amount of time transforming a photo I took of three pinball machines into union-busting themed tables, pulling in a bunch of images from old Soviet propaganda art. An editorial cartoon of Teddy Roosevelt with his big stick takes center stage, while a NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo's official portrait presides over the scene. I hand-made the eight-segment TILT displays.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

Working with the highest-possible rez sources makes all the difference in the world. Syvwlch's extremely high-rez paint-scraper is a gift to people writing about web-scraping, and the Matrix code waterfall mapped onto it like butter.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/17/how-to-think-about-scraping/

This old TWA ad depicting a young man eagerly pitching an older man has incredible body-language – so much so that when I replaced their heads with raw meat, the intent and character remained intact. I often struggle for background to put behind images like this, but high-rez currency imagery, with the blown up intaglio, crushes it.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

I transposed Photoshop instructions for turning a face into a zombie into Gimp instructions to make Zombie Uncle Sam. The guy looking at his watch kills me. He's from an old magazine illustration about radio broadcasting. What a face!

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/18/the-people-no/#tell-ya-what-i-want-what-i-really-really-want

The mansplaining guy from the TWA ad is back, but this time he's telling a whopper. It took so much work to give him that Pinnocchio nose. Clearly, he's lying about capitalism, hence the Atlas Shrugged cover. Bosch's "Garden of Earthly Delights" makes for an excellent, public domain hellscape fit for a nonconensual pitch about the miracle of capitalism.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/27/six-sells/#youre-holding-it-wrong

There's no better image for stories about techbros scamming rubes than Bosch's 'The Conjurer.' Throw in Jeff Bezos's head and an Amazon logo and you're off to the races. I boobytrapped this image by adding as many fingers as I could fit onto each of these figures in the hopes that someone could falsely accuse me of AI-generating this. No one did.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

Once again, it's Bosch to the rescue. Slap a different smiley-face emoji on each of the tormented figures in 'Garden of Earthly Delights' and you've got a perfect metaphor for the 'brand safety' problem of hard news dying online because brands don't want to be associated with unpleasant things, and the news is very unpleasant indeed.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/11/ad-jacency/#brand-safety

I really struggle to come up with images for my linkdump posts. I'm running out of ways to illustrate assortments and varieties. I got to noodling with a Kellogg's mini-cereal variety pack and I realized it was the perfect place for a vicious gorilla image I'd just found online in a WWI propaganda poster headed 'Destroy This Mad Brute.' I put so many fake AI tells in this one – extra pupils, extra fingers, a super-AI-esque Kellogg's logo.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/05/variegated/#nein

Bloodletting is the perfect metaphor for using rate-hikes to fight inflation. A vintage image of the Treasury, spattered with blood, makes a great backdrop. For the foreground, a medieval woodcut of bloodletting quacks – give one the head of Larry Summers, the other, Jerome Powell. For the patient, use Uncle Sam's head.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/20/bloodletting/#inflated-ego

I killed a long videoconference call slicing up an old pulp cover showing a killer robot zapping a couple of shrunken people in bell-jars. It was the ideal image to illustrate Big Tech's enshittification, especially when it was decorated with some classic tech slogans.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/22/who-wins-the-argument/#corporations-are-people-my-friend

There's something meditative about manually cutting out Tenniel engravings from Alice – the Jabberwock was insane. But it was worth it for this Tron-inflected illustration using a distorted Cartesian grid to display the enormous difference between e/acc and AI doomers, and everyone else in the world.

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/27/10-types-of-people/#taking-up-a-lot-of-space

Multilayer source images for your remixing pleasure:

Scientist in chemlabhttps://craphound.com/images/scientist-in-chem-lab.psd

Humpty Dumpty and the millionaires https://craphound.com/images/humpty-dumpty-and-the-millionaires.psd

Demon summoning https://craphound.com/images/demon-summoning.psd

Killer Robot and People in Bell Jars https://craphound.com/images/killer-robot-and-bell-jars.psd

TWA mansplainer https://craphound.com/images/twa-mansplainer.psd

Impatient boss https://craphound.com/images/impatient-boss.psd

Destroy This Mad Brute https://craphound.com/images/destroy-this-mad-brute.psd

(Images: Heinz Bunse, West Midlands Police, Christopher Sessums, CC BY-SA 2.0; Mike Mozart, Jesse Wagstaff, Stephen Drake, Steve Jurvetson, syvwlch, Doc Searls, https://www.flickr.com/photos/mosaic36/14231376315, Chatham House, CC BY 2.0; Cryteria, CC BY 3.0; Mr. Kjetil Ree, Trevor Parscal, Rama, “Soldiers of Russia” Cultural Center, Russian Airborne Troops Press Service, CC BY-SA 3.0; Raimond Spekking, CC BY 4.0; Drahtlos, CC BY-SA 4.0; Eugen Rochko, Affero; modified)

#pluralistic #illustration #collage #fair use #creative commons

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aurumacadicus · 7 months

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How did fruitbat!Tony feel about Juiceero, the hilarious failure of a “juicing” machine, a shining example of the sheer stupidity of techbros that money can buy making a juicing machine that couldn’t even juice fruit that cost $2000

The problem is Tony is also a techbro lmao. Yeah he has an AI but he actually doesn't believe in reinventing the wheel when the wheel is doing the job it's supposed to. "Why does this juicer need wi-fi connectivity," he asks, and then, "I HAVE TO BUY SPECIFIC PACKETS OF PRE-CUT FRUIT AND VEGETABLES? DIE." Sure sometimes Dum-E puts motor oil in his smoothies but at least he isn't giving money to someone who put wi-fi in a juicer.

Anyway Tony was on the west coast when Naked Juice was started and he fucking loves them. Literally twenty minutes away from the first juice stand. Rhodey jokes he's single-handedly keeping them in business and Tony can't even argue because he goes through two pallets a month. Sure, the Avengers help, sometimes, but the majority is him.

#aurumacadicus answers #vampire tony

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kaijuposting · 1 year

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The Pacific Rims that never were

Before Pacific Rim: Uprising as we know it was a thing, there were a number of sequel and spinoff ideas that never made it to production. Here are some that made it to the Internet:

A prequel cartoon Pacific Rim: Steel Warriors was going to be a two-season cartoon prequel series that would have expanded on the franchise's lore, featuring Mako Mori and a number of new characters. The wiki has a page on it here. I'm always a sucker for expanded lore, so I definitely think it's a bummer that this one didn't pan out. Also, making Mako Mori a major character in an entire series would've been rad.

Showing more of the other universe Guillermo del Toro was vague about it, but he expressed intentions of showing off the other universe. He ruled out "invading" the other world, so it doesn't seem he meant to have jaegers just go in and start attacking. Perhaps he meant to reveal more through more kaiju drifting. Perhaps he meant to have scenes featuring the aliens doing their thing. Or maybe it was something else. It is a mystery. I do know I'd have loved to get a better look at what was on the other side of the breach! More comics Guillermo del Toro intended for the Tales From Year Zero comics to continue, running up until the release of the second film. Alas, it was not to be.

A jaeger named Black Maria In 2015, Guillermo del Toro talked about plans for a Mexican jaeger named Black Maria, piloted by two convicts who'd been promised their freedom in return for piloting the jaeger. (I also can't help but notice that this sounds very much like Travis Beacham's plans for Matador Fury and its pilots.) Also, gotta love a name like Black Maria - it sounds all piratey. Was del Toro planning on a pirate-themed jaeger? Because that would have been awesome. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of kickass!

A jaeger cadet played by Maisie Williams On October 3rd, 2015, Guillermo del Toro tweeted his wishes to cast Maisie Williams as a jaeger pilot in the second Pacific Rim film. I'm not a Game of Thrones fan, but I did love Maisie Williams's character in Doctor Who, so I'd have loved to see this. I wonder who her character would have interacted with. Would she have been friends with Mako Mori? What would her co-pilot have been like, and would she have been played by Jenna Coleman? Alas we'll never know, but we can imagine! The destruction of San Francisco In late 2017, del Toro said that he planned for the second film to end up on the west coast and have San Francisco destroyed in a battle between kaiju and jaegers. Utterly demolishing the first city that had ever been attacked by a kaiju would be a brutal move, but I can picture it leading to some interesting questions - why do we fight when things are destroyed anyway? Is it a waste of time, or is gaining even just one more day with those we love worth it?

A techbro villain, a time travel plot twist, and more Mako Mori In late 2021, del Toro said that he'd planned for the villain of the second film to be "this tech guy that had invented basically sort of the internet 2.0." It would be revealed that he'd been getting all of his ideas from the Precursors, who would have been revealed to be humanity from the future. Del Toro also said that he'd intended Mako Mori to be one of the story's main characters.

I dunno about you, but I think a techbro villain who isn't actually inventing the shit he's taking credit for is a great idea. I also think the reveal that the "Precursors" are actually humans from the future is excellent on a philosophical level, because it forces us to confront that fact that what we often like to think of as "alien" is really just humanity at its worst. Also, more Mako Mori? Hell yeah! I'm sure there's more articles and interviews out there that talk about plans that never materialized, and hopefully I'll come across them - or maybe some of you know of them? If so, please feel free to add on with them. :D

#pacific rim #pacrim #pacific rim 2 #guillermo del toro

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maximdorky · 1 year

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Anyway, Horizon Forbidden West - a game with a techbro villain who was so high on his own hype that he thought he could do anything, ended up destroying the world, and who ends up as a massive mindless tumor at the center of his own lair - is a little too on the nose nowadays.

#horizon forbidden west #ted faro #twitter

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burningchandelier · 2 years

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I feel like it is time to tell the story about how I met one of my best friends at a Saosin concert and how their teenage life was destroyed at that same concert only moments later.

Buckle up. This is a fucking ride.

So: I grew up in Boise, Idaho. While it now tops lists like "Best City to move to" along with "Least Affordable City in the US" and "Biggest Fucking Techbro-Hipster Hellscape, we were fools, what hath god wrought!?" once upon a time, when I was a teen, Boise was an okayish midsize city with not a lot going on except rampant religious fanaticism and a pretty good college football team.

Being the only city for 500 miles in any direction, if you were a band driving through the American West, you were sort of forced to stop there if you wanted gas money to get to the next city. Thank god for this, because the small all-ages venue (quite literally called "The Venue") that had shows for $12 every weekend were how I survived being a teenager.

Saosin was a big one for me. I waited, crossing the days off on my calendar for their show. While we were all standing around waiting for the opening bands, I noticed that there was a kid on their own, looking kind of nervous. I am a firm believer in concert buddies-- if you go to a show alone, you should not feel alone once you are there. I introduced myself and invited this kid to come stand with me and my friends. They were super grateful and sweet.

This was a particularly good show with awesome opening bands and it had great attendance (not always promised in this time and place). The kid next to me seemed like they had died and gone to heaven, which made my enjoyment of the whole thing even greater. The night was one of those cinematic moments where everything comes together. Saosin got on stage and absolutely destroyed their opening number.

And then. It happened.

Silence descended on the crowd. First from the back, then slowly to the front. The pit stopped moving. The band didn't pick up their next song. The crowd parted like the Red Sea for Moses. And, with horror on their face, the kid next to me turned and saw a woman wearing a pink cardigan and curlers in her hair.

This woman clutched the kid's arm and yanked them from the pit like a vulture grabbing a dead possum from the side of the road. There was nothing that any of us could do but watch, silent and horrified, as this kid got dragged out of there.

When, and only when, they were both fully gone from the building, there was a slight throat clearing from the stage and the quiet statement that we all felt.

"Sure glad I'm not that kid."

...

Two years later, I was hanging out with my best friend and her partner. We had spent the summer and fall living our lives as sixteen year olds tend to do-- mainly shooting the shit, wasting time after school, driving around. We were chilling in my living room, listening to music when I put on some Saosin. My eyes locked on my friend's partner's face. They had the same pale horror that I had seen in the Venue all those years before. Silently, we agreed never to speak of it again.

#saosin #true story #B if you are reading this I am sorry #too good not to write #grandma al's concert stories

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fatherramiro · 2 years

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per my post, the funny thing about shipping ouat!wicked bex of the west with jeremy’s slutty techbro douche from sleepy hollow is basically those are mirror!charlotte and mirror!dan from a mirror universe of the lost characters

#lost blogging with julian #should i write my mirror universe fic

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burnitalldowndarling · 2 years

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oh no

I discovered fanfic for Horizon Zero Dawn/Horizon Forbidden West. Already I can tell that a stunning amount of this fic fixes everything wrong with the game canon. (The Horizon games are basically the “You could if you weren’t a coward” meme, gamified. Very good, but could’ve been so much better.) Actual anthropological worldbuilding instead of jingoistic white techbro utopian fantasy! Aloy stops being a Karen! Varl lives! I’m happy, but nervous. On the one hand, yay! Two cakes! On the other... I have things to do.

#the good news is #the general fandom writing quality level is so good #I'm unlikely to want to write for it #(in the distance #a muse cackles)

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tekbro · 2 years

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I have inherited an old haunted Banan family house coming to stay with me tonight

uhhh... no thank you

#askmyocs #techbro west #askbananapie #tekbroarts #tekbro

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rooster-does-art · 1 year

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"Another day, another life I may not have to sacrifice

But I'm still aiming for the sky

In this suburb to Hell I'm living to tell

'Bout how I defended my Rome

Hail the Caesar, Kingdom Come"

- Rome Is Falling, Civil War

Featuring: @techbro-arts

#Silver Wing #Techbro West #techbro-arts #Pegasus #Earth Pony #MLP #My Little Pony #Art #Random Art #Rome #Roman Empire #Legionnaire #Legion #Roman Army #Rome Is Falling - Civil War #Congratulations techbro you're in the legions now #These are Principate era legions so you're in for 25 years of military service

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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i feel like todoroki would be from new england too tho. like same as momo, he gives me the east coast, old money vibe so probably connecticut or massachusetts for sure.

See, that’s exactly what I was thinking… but then I had a moment where I thought, endeavor seems like the old money type SURROUNDED by new money, like a techbro from the east IN the west… so that’s why I decided on that.

I agree todoroki is def from one of those states.. but feel like both he momo go to Stanford or usc or something LOL </3

#he’s def old money that’s for sure #but to say endeavor wouldn’t drive a Tesla and hang out with………. idk tech startup bros #wrong #hahaha tho #a mix #caitie chats #ask #anon

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alectoperdita · 3 years

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Do you inhabit that slim intersection between Verge reader/Vergecast listener, Yu-Gi-Oh! fan, and Kaijou shipper? Then boy do I have the short fic for you! If you don’t (which is pretty much everyone that’s not me), please enjoy my most arguably niche AU yet. A meet-cute(?) featuring tech reporter Joey Wheeler and his big gay crush on tech CEO Seto Kaiba.

Includes references to the current pandemic because this is centered around a real-life event that took place last month and vaping. So consider yourself warned in that regard.

📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱

What could be more luxurious than rubbing elbows with tech bigwigs for three days at one of Beverly Hill's swankiest hotels?

LA!

Sunny weather!

Beautiful, rich people abound!

Well, the pandemic was kind of a buzzkill.

Although if Joey was going to be quarantine-bubbled in any joint, it might as well be at the fabulously renovated Beverly Hilton! Gag. He'd been watching way too many promo commercials.

Joey had been excited to come. Press passes, if you weren't already affiliated with Vox Media, were limited. He had been even more thrilled to be reunited in person with Yuugi, who had moved back to the west coast six months into the pandemic to be with his grandpa. It had been more than amazing to hug his editor/best friend for the first time in over a year after they both got the "all clear" from their rapid testing.

Now that Joey gave it more thought, Covid-19 was likely the reason their modest tech publication had snagged not one, but two press credentials. The pandemic loomed large over the conference even as people went around networking, sampling green juices, and taking part in early morning group workouts. Joey had seen photos and read tweets from the Before Times. Compared to that, all the sessions that Joey attended for work felt barren. The crowds were thin, exacerbated by how far the venue spaced the chairs.

Unfortunately for him, the nightcaps and hard boozing after the day's sessions ended didn't go away. Maybe it was more subdued than previously, but it was still far more than what Joey was comfortable with.

Oh, the woes of being a tech reporter that didn't drink.

Even Yuugi partook when prompted, determined not to let his lightweight stature deter him from prime networking opportunities. Joey never did, though, which made him the odd-man-out at every happy hour-esque event in his adult life.

He had his reasons. Damn good ones. Namely, his old man and fear of a genetic disposition toward addiction. Not that it was anyone's business why he didn't drink.

Which was why he was sulking and smoking in an isolated corner by one of the hotel's several illuminated swimming pools. He had to get away. He was about two seconds away from knocking out that WaPo reporter's teeth for hassling him about his teetotalism.

That would not have advanced Joey's journalism career.

He supposed smoking wasn't that much better. Definitely not healthier. But he'd never make a fool of himself when saturated with nicotine.

The nightcap wasn't a complete wash. He bagged a business card from a Verge reporter before excusing himself.

With a sigh, he checked his texts. Still no response from Yuugi, who must still be clearing the bank at some techbro's illicit hotel room poker game. He'd give it another half-an-hour, then he'd retire to his own hotel room.

He removed the vape pen from his lips and exhaled a puff of smoke through his nostrils. The pool's blue-tinted floodlights made the haze iridescent, turning dust motes in the air into tiny, glimmering stars. Joey took another banana cream pie-laced hit and amused himself by blowing smoke rings. They ended up lopsided on the most part, but no less pretty when they drifted over the pool water before dissipating.

A tall shadow moved on the edge of his vision. Joey ignored it. Several people, alone and in groups, had passed him since he made camp by the pool. Except this one came entirely too close for polite pandemic standards, stopping two feet away from Joey.

"Do ya mind..." He trailed off as he got a good look at who it was.

Tall, lean, and dressed entirely in black that he virtually melted into the shadows. It was too dark to appreciate the beautiful brown color of his hair, like coffee blended with the perfect ratio of milk. But his eyes—they were electric reflecting glowing pool at their feet.

Holy shit. It was Seto Kaiba. Seto freakin' Kaiba was standing next to him at a LA hotel pool for some reason?

CEOs were a dime a dozen at Code Conference. That was the point. You couldn't charge $7k a ticket if you couldn't deliver the goods. Hell, Joey even passed Elon Musk once after the welcome lunch, when Yuugi led him off to meet Marc Benioff. Satya Nadella, much like his company's products, seemed to be everywhere he turned. And though Kaiba was also a speaker this year, Joey didn't expect to see him until his panel on the last day.

With his vape pen dangling between his fingers, Joey gave the other man a stunned once-over. There was no doubt he was Kaiba. He was wearing his signature outfit: a black, form-fitting turtleneck on top of skin-tight leather pants that blended seamlessly with his knee-high boots with at least a dozen too many belt buckles. "Steve Jobs as a leather-daddy" as internet commenters summarized when he first came onto the tech scene. Some went further and declared him "gay flamboyance personified." But that'd never been confirmed. Kaiba refused to entertain questions on his sexuality. He didn't even appear to date, which would've also revealed something.

Joey hoped he was—gay, that was. It'd bump his currently 0% chance of getting with Kaiba up to a nice 0.1%.

Joey continued to gape with wide eyes as Kaiba pulled his black surgical mask down to his chin and stuck the thinnest and sleekest vape pen between his lips. Joey was mesmerised by those pursing lips, highlighted by a blue sheen from the ambient lighting. September LA nights were already warm enough, but Joey swore the temperature rose several notches.

The ring Kaiba blew was perfect in almost every way.

Then an overwhelming wave of menthol hit Joey. "Holy shit, dude!" he exclaimed before gagging. Tears sprung to his eyes.

So much for not making a fool of himself...

Kaiba regarded him with a cool, dispassionate look. Joey tried not to shrivel under his intense gaze, but failed. Inside, he was screaming and dying. Fucking Seto Kaiba, frequently featured on Forbes' 30 under 30 and now Fortune's 40 under 40 and number one on BuzzFeed's list of the hottest tech entrepreneurs, probably thought he was a wuss. Seto Kaiba, who may or may not be gay and/or asexual but was certainly Joey's biggest homosexual crush since he first laid eyes on him on the stage of a CES presentation four years ago, must think he was a loser.

Maybe Joey should drown himself in the pool now. Could he possibly embarrass himself any more?

Then Kaiba opened his mouth and spoke in that deep, gravelly tone of his. "Are you Wheeler?"

For a moment, Joey considered coughing more and feigning the Rona. Or consumption like a Victorian lady about to pass out on a fainting couch.

Because on the one hand, Seto Kaiba knew who he was? And on the other, Seto Kaiba knew him! Joey couldn't decide if he was going to die from glee or shame or a horrifying mix of the two.

Kaiba furrowed his brows, his frown deepening when Joey didn't answer. "Well? Are you Joey Wheeler or not? You fit the description."

"Description?" Joey asked with growing hysteria.

"Scruffy but good-looking." Kaiba's gaze dropped to his feet. "You should spend more money on taming your hair than your overpriced sneakers."

Joey bristled. His Yeezy was his pride and joy.

Unaware of Joey's ire, Kaiba continued sourly, "Maybe your friend can help with that after he's done cheating Mokuba out of the rest of the pot." He exhaled another eye-watering puff of menthol-scented death. It almost looked like he was pouting.

The whiplash between annoyance and confusion and anxiety, the likes of which he hadn't felt since a 7 train nearly killed him when he tried to retrieve a review unit he'd stupidly dropped onto the tracks, made Joey nauseous. Floundering helplessly around his celebrity crush didn't help. "What's happening?" he asked desperately.

Joey jumped when Kaiba reached over and tapped the other end of his vape on the press badge hanging around his neck.

"I don't see how you can do your job as a journalist if that's the extent of your critical thinking skills. Fine. Your insufferable friend, Muto, wouldn't take an IOU so I could raise. Instead, he insisted the stakes include an interview for his sorry publication," Kaiba grumbled. "Done by you."

It finally clicked for Joey. "Oh my god, you lost to Yuugi. He's at your poker game."

"It's Mokuba's game, actually. But a deal's a deal. He sent me down here to greet you."

Damn, how did Kaiba still look so pretty when he was that sour-faced? Must be the lighting. Then the rest of Kaiba's words sunk in and blind panic broke out.

"Wait. Right now? I ain't prepped. I don't got questions ready!" he exclaimed. Joey needed at least three to five business quarters to psych himself up for an interview with Seto Kaiba. He might never be ready. He wracked his brain for a question—any question.

Only one came to mind, though. The only one he cared about at that moment. "Are you gay?" Joey absolutely couldn't ask that. Never in a million years.

Kaiba remained thankfully oblivious to his internal meltdown as he fished out his phone. With his vape pen clenched between his teeth, the CEO flicked open his calendar app and scrolled for several seconds. "Tomorrow. I have an hour after the lunch. Should I reserve a hotel conference room or will you?"

"No. No. I'll do that." He couldn't let Kaiba take care of arranging the details. Downright unprofessional. "Uh, how do I let you know where?"

Kaiba considered him at length before smirking and tapping something on his phone screen. "Email me," he said before pulling his face mask over his mouth and gliding away.

Joey's phone pinged. One new email. He didn't need to read it to know who sent it. He gave a shaky laugh and sank into a squat, hugging his arms around his knees. Eventually, he'd have to pick himself up and go prep interview questions. And yell at Yuugi for a while. Then thank him. But until then, he just wanted to breathe in the bizarre mix of menthol and banana cream flavors before they faded completely.

Website for CodeCon2021

#puppyshipping #violetshipping #kaijou #yugioh #ygo #yugioh fanfiction #my fanfiction #finally banged it out this weekend in between struggling with more yakuza smut #feels like Joey's vape flavor might be implying something...#been thinking about this since I heard about this year's Code Conference #had to stop myself from making it even more niche by pulling direct quotes/events from this year's event #can't stop thinking about Satya Nadella's shade about the failed attempt to have TikTok acquired by a US corporation #remember when that happened?#already feels like a million years ago #but yes more Lure smut coming tomorrow

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all-pacas · 2 years

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FORBIDDEN WEST PLAYTHROUGH PART ONE (i’m on “to the brink” so spoilers up til there)

* oh my god it’s finally here. the fond is the same. the hud is the same. it’s still loading i can’t believe it. * i remember this opening scene from the reveal trailer i think??? the dying fox anyway.

* oh my god elisabet !!!!! fully rendered!!!!! not a hologram with light and coloring distortion!!! in her stupid little robe shirt thing!!!! * OH NO THEY HUGGED * i’ve joked about this already but aloy please invent some sunscreen. ur a red-head u gotta be aware of the risks of sunburn * VARL HAS BEARD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA * LMAO aloy skipped the meridian victory party and just took the hell off i love her so much * lmao aloy trying to ditch varl too * this opening cutscene is a little stilted — how does varl know what the focus even does etc? — but also i fucking love that he’s HERE ALREADY and just literally living out my “let’s go to california bestie” dreams * oh my god is the tutorial this time aloy teaching varl instead of rost teaching aloy * oh my god aloy making the exact same BLEGH sound she did as a baby eating the healing herbs * FREE CLIMBING?? * OH THE MENU HAS CHARACTER BIOGRAPHIES * oh my god i love that the only alphas in the biography section to start with are elisabet and TRAVIS TATE * ted’s entry mentions the bunker DO WE GET PYRAMID VEGAS BUNKER PLEASE * oh god the glinthawk sound played and i was like PLEASE NO i hate those fuckers at least give me a few watchers first * OH MY GOD I AM IN LOVE WITH BURROWERS. WHAT BUDDIES. WHAT FRIENDS * oh my god like the first game hinted pretty strongly that far zenith was going to be a thing but i was NOT expected it as the tutorial section * is the other guy in these ruins gonna be sylens. is that too obvious * love that aloy clearly has no idea what to name anything and is just like “well i have a tripcaster — I KNOW. A _PULL_CASTER * oh hey osvald i remember the datapoint where the reporter was like “this techbro asshole” * aloy uses her fun new toy to get to the second floor, and varl's like "too bad there's only one and i'm trapped here" and aloy's choices are "find another way up" or just toss it down to him and of course she picks the first one * i love varl flinching and ducking at the holograms while aloy just stands there. * "unescapable risk for the world's elite" lmao i hate osvald already * my instinct thus far is that osvald is worse than ted? ted is a fucking buffoon who no one takes seriously even as he destroyed the world. osvald? he seems like he knows how to sell an actual story. * ANACONDA??????? * NOT A BUDDY * burrowers are still friend shaped and i love them * hahahaha aloy mentioning the beard * SORRY MY WHISKERS OFFEND YOU, ANNOINTED * oh far zenith was trying to steal GAIA huh. that explains a lot. * WHO WAS THE MOLE THO not one of the alphas we know i think * i kind of love varl assuming gaia must be the goddess like. he’s not exactly? he’s wrong but he’s making some pretty logical assumptions? love varl * “is sona ever pleased? i don’t think i’ve ever seen her smile.” “_me neither”_ oh varl * god i love this game. here i am a thousand years in the future with my bow and arrow, plotting the best way to drop a space shuttle onto some snakes * GAIA * TRAVIS * OH MY GOD TRAVIS TATE * THOU SHALL NOT STEAL A SUPER ADVANCED TERRAFORMING SYSTEM * should have known the fucking second GAIA booted up as “version 6.9” * did far zenith literally fail because they tried to steal gaia and travis deleted all their data in reponse * like i get why aloy is so upset and all but honestly what a move from travis tate what a pro * BACK TO MERIDIAN? * BACK TO MERIDIAN * oh oh oh first non-tutorial mission in hzd 1 was point of the spear and now we get point of the lance !!! * love that marad just instantly knows aloy is in town * LOL THEY BUILT A STATUE OF ALOY * honestly aloy you absolutely should have expected that sylens used the spear he gave you as a backdoor and should not be surprised now * NASADI AND ITAMEN * and avad too i guess literally barely noticed him * i was so overwhelmed i completely missed itamen’s line dsfsdf * oh my god i love that they heard aloy was at the spire and everyone was like “fuck better run over before she LEAVES AGAIN” * UTHID AND VANASHA!!!!! “better hand these over before she runs off again!” “really, must you?” omg and itamen is hovering in the background ahhhhhhhhhhh i love team carja * ITAMEN’S GOT A LITTLE SWORD * WATCH OUT FOR THUNDERJAWS he says oh my god i love him * vanasha keeps being like hey aloy when are you going to fuck off this time? oh about to go are you? oh still here? * SHE CALLS UTHID MR SHINYPANTS * aloy growing even more uncomfortable with the flirting than uthid is i think i ship them a little * CAPTAIN CUDDLY * “rumor has it he wanted to stay with me here in meridian” uthid laughs nervously oh my god i definitely ship them * aloy: how did u get the tenakth to like you? avad: bribes :)))) love that for him * avad’s got a cousin eh this sounds Interesting * ITAMEN PLAYING WITH A STICK Oh my god i love him * STOP FUCKING FLIRTING AVAD this was the worst part of him in the last game why did they bring it back ugh * i should have picked the mean option but i chose the brain option instead MY BAD * like god it makes me so mad because i really liked his line about not wanting to get married because he keeps trying to make women someone they aren’t, which i THOUGHT was a nice, self aware reference to the end of the last game, where aloy calls him on doing _just that_ with her and i was like good! you’re learning! don’t date for a while! BUT FUCKING NO * like god avad i fucking want to like you and i like your potential as a character but this was the WORST part of the last game and why now? at least we hopefully won’t see him again? fun as it was to see the meridian crew PLEASE, we do not need romance, we do not need this bullshit especially since aloy has already shot him down like EIGHT TIMES it makes me mad * anyway i hope they keep having aloy come up with terrible names for her weapons * “might be better to rest here for the night, hang out in the morning” aloy ur going to try and sneak away without varl aren’t u * two seconds later: she sneaks away without varl * i love how pretty the credits scene and song are but i’ve also played this game Many Times and know that a lot of these scenes aloy is riding through are just random places in the sundom. so like did you just get lost pal. why you stopping by sunfall. why you riding to brightmarket. i see you decided to visit the tallneck with all the snapmaws around it huh. * stupid oseram expression count #1: sparks to steel * oh yay. erend. * inexplicable and instant love for Stupid Sun Priest. i just love idiots okay * stupid oseram expression #2: big-hammered backside * anyway they told me to go do the plot and i ran off in the opposite direction instead MORE UPDATES LATER

#FORBIDDEN WEST SPOILERS #can you believe i can finally write that #AHHH

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