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#tf2 x reader
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All 9 mercs w/ a reader who got them flowers! (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC)
(I recently got to 20 followers on this blog! :D I wanted to do a little something to celebrate that, so I grinded and wrote headcanons for all nine of the mercs. It, uh, took a while so I hope you enjoy!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ─── 
☆Scout - Daisies☆
Legitimately starts tearing up
Tries to blame it on the flowers
“I ain’t cryin’ I- I’m just allergic to flowers.”
“Oh, sorry, I could just return them then—”
“What? You’d hafta take ‘em out of my dead hands, I’m keepin’ em.”
Isn’t a huge flower guy but the fact you went out of your way to get them for him makes him feel all warm inside
Reminds him of when his mom would pick flowers to give to him after his Little League games
☆Soldier - Poppies☆
Would aggressively compliment you
“THESE ARE DAMN BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS MAGGOT!! I FEEL IMMENSELY LOVED AND APPRECIATED!!!”
Seriously though, he does
Since he was never allowed in the military he always felt jealous of the soldiers who got special flowers
But he wasn’t now, because you respected him
And if you did, that was enough
☆Pyro - Sunflowers☆
ABSOLUTELY LOVES THEM
Well, you can’t hear what they’re saying but the flappy hands and excited noises give you a decent idea
Will just spend hours holding them in their hands and looking at the flowers like they’re the most beautiful thing in the world
Draws sunflowers in all their drawings now
If they accidentally burned them they would get so sad and give you flowers back as a form of apology
Make flower crowns with them. Do it. 
☆Demoman - Bluebells☆
Like most of the mercs, he’s never gotten flowers before 
And he has no clue how to take care of them
“Thank ye, but, would ye consider showin’ me how to take care of them?”
Help this man out
Please
He would probably put them just on a table with no vase or water without you
Y’all would put the flowers in an empty bottle of scrumpy <3
☆Heavy - Violas☆
“Little merc has present for Heavy?” 
Surprised, but not so much as Sniper
Honestly the most chill about it out of all the mercs
He has sisters so he knows how to take care of flowers but he’s never been the one to receive them
Would press the flowers once the start to wilt and make bookmarks so he can keep them forever (sap)
And if he’s more protective of you during matches, who's to say the reason why?
☆Engineer - Bluebonnets☆
He sticks to the practical side of things, so when you give him a bouquet of flowers he’s utterly perplexed
He’s flattered of course, and thanks you greatly for the gift because he’s a Texas boy raised with manners
But he’s not used to pretty things and…doesn’t quite know what to do with them
He puts them in a vase with water but he finds himself stopping his work to look at them
They didn’t solve a problem, they didn’t hold a purpose yet people–including him now–seemed to love them
Eventually gives up trying to find a reason for it and just accepts it as they’re just pretty
Even though solving questions like “what is beauty” was never his forte, he’d somehow found an answer for it
And it was…well, you.
(He’d also 100% make you a flower out of scrap metal for you bc he’s a gentleman)
☆Medic - Cornflowers/Drosera Spatulata Sundew☆
There’s two flowers that he’d like
Cornflowers are one of his favorites, specifically the white ones (they remind him of Archimedes)
Not just because they are national flowers of Germany, but he also appreciates their medicinal properties
But if you somehow got your hands on a Drosera Spatulata Sundew he’d be pocketing you for months afterwards
Is absolutely fascinated with carnivorous plants and you get him carnivorous flowers???
The most romantic (or just super cool if platonic) thing in the world to him
Isn’t a botanist but he’ll be in the medbay all the time now just observing it and its reactions
He’s not sleeping for a while
He’d try to create a serum for whatever flowers you got him so they’d stay as beautiful as they are forever :)
☆Sniper - Wildflowers☆
No one has ever gotten him flowers before so when you show up at his camper van with hand picked flowers wrapped in twine he’s surprised, to say the least
Finds it interesting how he walked past those same flowers everyday and never cared
But when you gave them to him they felt…special.
Awkwardly mumbles a ‘thanks mate’ to you
Keeps them in an (UNUSED I REPEAT UNUSED) jar in his van
Smiles everytime he sees them
☆Spy - Roses☆
We all know this man is an old-fashioned lover boy so ofc he loves roses
But he’s never on the receiving end of them
So none are ever good enough for his high standards
“Eugh, where did you buy these, the gas station?”
Similar to Scout that if you say you could return them he’d absolutely refuse
Secretly thinks it’s really sweet 
Doesn’t act any differently towards you afterwards when he’s with you
But you find multiple bouquets of roses in your room and a note that says “if you ever consider buying me flowers again, buy roses from these boutiques instead of the trash you had before.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ─── 
(Putting in all the tags is another reason why I don't normally do all nine of them holy shit)
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The Mercs with Energetic s/o Headcanon, please? :)
𝙴𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚂/𝙾 PT.1
|pt.1| |pt.2| |pt.3|
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Request? [yes] [no] Notes||𝙼𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚃𝙵𝟸 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍. Synopsis|| Tf2 character x energetic reader headcanons Warnings||𝚂𝙵𝚆-♡|𝙵𝙻𝚄𝙵𝙵-❀|𝙰𝚂𝙺𝚂-✰|| Word Count||400
ꜱᴄᴏᴜᴛ---------------
Lord have mercy on this group of mercenaries....
Everyday with you two the teams thinks you had a 6 pack of bonk EACH at all times
On the low-key kinda scared of you if you're the really loud energetic even though he cant talk since hes the chatty energetic
You both talk each others ear off
You two spend most of your time harassing and pranking the other mercs, if not that then usually eachother
At least the other mercs are thankful you two are harassing each other and chasing one another around the base instead of scout annoying them until they do
This usually results in you both passing out on the community couch with you both draped across eachother haphazardly
At
ᴇɴɢɪɴᴇʀ---------------
Someone as
Hes bestfriends with soldier ffs and is use to Demo's drunkenness and Scouts+Pyros antics so yea, I'm pretty sure he can handle you
This southern gentleman usually always laid back but he adores you cute little antics while he sits back and watches
Tbh he would say some say some country ass shit like "Ya more hopped up than horse on sugar!" which inevitable ends up with you and the nickname "sugarcube~" (but its cute and even sweeter than the nickname itself)
He has a little area in his workshop that has a cot for when he use to pass out and couldn't make it to your room for when you eventually tucker yourself out
ᴅᴇᴍᴏᴍᴀɴ---------------
You two get up to some WEIRD ass antics together
Plus add +alcohol to the equation which makes you two an ungodly force to be recon with
At first he would offer a sip of his scrumpy which is normal until you both wake up passed out
You two would make up face down on the roof top with Demos wrist broken and you with a cut on your forehead and the team huddled in the corner TERRIFIED and pointing an un(reasonable) amount of guns at you two
You both wake up with splitting headaches but hes perfected the perfect cure for hangover and some pretty tender "aftercare" until the next time you have your energy up and hes ready to get drunk off his ass again
Well...atleast you two have your fun <3
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Woooo i havent wrote in a while but it was worth it Thx for reading, see ya˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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meiliarotten · 2 days
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which merc is the best at giving oral?
God damn, you’re gonna make me choose?
Just kidding, I can totally choose… the top 3.
In no particular order, and completely based off my own bias, Medic, Spy, and Engie are the best at oral.
Medic, with his medical knowledge would know the right spots to focus on, although it may come off as a bit clinical at first. Sometimes he’ll even pull back to wax poetic about the sensitivity of certain parts of the human body- whether he does this because he truly wants you to know or if he’s just teasing you is a mystery. Once he gets really into it though you can sense his enthusiasm, and he is very enthusiastic when it comes to making you beg and whine.
Spy is similar to medic when it comes to enthusiasm- he’ll eagerly go all in, but might need to be guided a bit. After all, everyone likes different stuff- different strokes for different folks. That said, he will take that guidance to heart. If he’s without the mask, you can his hair around a bit to kinda steer him where you want (and he will most definitely enjoy that).
And finally, Engineer! Engie is probably the least experienced with oral when it comes to the three. However lack of experience does not equate to lack of skill. In my opinion Engie is one of those people that just takes to oral like a fish to water. He likes making you feel good, possibly even more so than feeling good himself, and that just motivates him even more. If you just want head one day and nothing more, he’s the man for you.
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habitabel · 27 days
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My favorite genre of TF2 fanart is EEPY SNIPER fanart, examples:
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I have a link to my board full of napping sniper art on my Pinterest I'll link it below 😝 (SEND ME MORE IF YOU FIND ANY
❗❗❗THIS IS NOT MY ART BTW THE ORIGINAL ARTISTS SHOULD BE ON THE PINTEREST BOARD I LINKED❗❗❗
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haileybirdart · 9 days
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Miss Pauling x Male!Reader Headcanons:
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She leaves you for a woman
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prettyboypistol · 2 months
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How to Seduce the TF2 Mercs
Scout
Pay attention to him. Give him genuine compliments and honest feedback. He wants to feel loved and like he's worth someone's time.
Kisses and physical affection. Mans thinks about the time you put your hand on his shoulder for weeks.
Just say you love him, man. He's been overlooked his whole life.
Soldier
Take him seriously- don't belittle him or make jokes about how he views the world. He knows he's a little crazy but he is genuinely trying his best to make the world a better place.
Defend him!!! If someone shit talks him, punch that motherfucker in the jaw!!
Honest discussions with you asking a lot of questions, take the time to get to know him and you'll have a defender for the rest of your life.
Pyro
Much like with Soldier, defend them and take the time to get to know them.
Gifts, gifts, gifts!!! Give them gifts!
Be a little flirty ;> don't baby them! Treat them like the adult they are!
Demoman
Bro just ask to fuck. He'll probably say yes.
He loves a bold mf that knows how to take what they want. Come on to him, buy him a drink, and ask if he's got any company for the night.
If you're going for something a little more long term, just remove the sleeping aspect. Just say you're interested in getting to know him you'll most likely get a date and see how things go.
Engineer
He's a sucker for practical use gifts (i.e. mechanical oil, a new wrench, etc) or sentimental gifts (photograph of you two, love letters)
Call him handsome! Call him pretty and a gentleman! Appeal to that cowboy energy and treat him all respectful like and you'll definitely catch his interest.
If you're not the type to do all that song and dance, go the opposite route. Stump him with a logistic problem and tease him about it. He'll nonstop think about you for months and bitch about you to his sentries.
Heavy
Mikhail likes hotheads and determined people, someone who's not afraid to fight if the situation comes to it.
Ask him about general things and slowburn that mf about nice conversations until you two can talk about personal things.
Ask him to help you clean your guns! Ask him weaponry questions about what would suit you better in the field!
Medic
GET THIS MAN SOME ORGANS. GET HIM SOME FUNDING!!!! get him a lil lovebirddddd
Take the time to get to know his birds and if the birds like you, Medic automatically likes you more.
Take an interest in his medical discoveries and his life! He's a prime yapper and wants to t a l k. That's why he never shuts up when doing surgery.
Spy
Romance him traditionally, to be honest. Keep it classy and court him like the romantic he is. Roses placed in his locker, prime dinners delivered to his door, BE A ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.
If you can't dance, ask him to teach you "for a mission" (He will know that you're the one behind all the flirtatious gestures bc he's SPY)
Butter up that man like he's a piece of toast. Handsome young man who captured your heart and holds it hostage. Classy gentleman that could get away with world domination with gorgeous eyes like that.
Sniper
Don't come on too strong, he's a bristly one. Be calm and casual. Hit him with that friends to lovers.
He's more of a tough nut to crack and insecure of if you actually like him, so be sure to flood his mind with ambiguous hints when you think you see signs of him showing interest in you.
To really seal yourself in his heart, spend a lot of quality time with him! Go camping, hunting, fishing, driving, anything that gets the both of you alone and quiet.
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miintsprigz · 4 months
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Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)
This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.
But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.
Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.
VERY LONG POST INCOMING
Scout
• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.
• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”
•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.
•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.
• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…
•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?
• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”
•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”
•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)
Pyro
•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.
•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.
•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.
•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.
•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.
•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.
•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.
•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.
•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.
•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.
• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.
• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.
•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.
•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.
Heavy
•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.
•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.
•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.
•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.
•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!
• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.
•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.
•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.
•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”
Demoman
•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.
•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.
•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”
•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”
•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.
•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.
•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?
•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”
•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.
•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”
Engineer
•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.
•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.
•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.
•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.
•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.
•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.
•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.
•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.
•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.
•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”
•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”
•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”
Soldier
•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.
•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.
•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.
•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”
•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.
•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.
•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”
•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”
•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.
•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?
•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”
•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”
Sniper
•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.
•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.
•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.
•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.
•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”
•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.
•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.
•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.
•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.
•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”
Medic
•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”
•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.
•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”
•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.
•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.
•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”
•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”
•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”
•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.
•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”
•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.
Spy
•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.
•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.
•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.
•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.
•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”
•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”
•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.
•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.
•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…
•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.
•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.
•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.
•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.
•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”
•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j
•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.
•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.
•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”
AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!
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sardonic-the-writer · 6 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ includes: scout, engineer, heavy, medic, sniper, and spy (i forgot demo i'm so sorry)
↳ warnings: bad translations, slight mentions of world war two and malpractice
↳ song: with a little help from my friends—joe cocker
masterlist | commissions | carrd
𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭
• He would be so smug about it
• Puffing his chest out and everything
• His friends in the past- and even family members -have teased him for mispronouncing words or speaking too fast, and it’s made him a bit self conscious about the way he talks. But after hearing that you find it endearing, its a giant ego boost for him
• “Yeah dat’s right! Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!” Scout smiles as he flexes his arms in your face, subjecting you to what he likes to call a surprise gun show. You pretend to hate it as you shove his arm away, but chuckle all the same
• He’s already gloated before that he already knew his accent was the best. Boston is the greatest place in the world after all! But hearing it from you really just sent him over the moon
• Makes a point to talk to you a lot more now; as if he didn’t already
• “Yo! Hey did you see that kill out there? I totally messed dat Spy up! One wrong step and pow! He’s dead meat!”
• “I saw Scout. I was covering your flank while you did it, remember?”
• “Yeah yeah, but I just thought you’d like ta hear about it again.”
𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫
• Didn’t consider himself to have an accent until you pointed him out
• Sure, he says the occasional y’all and ain’t, but not enough to qualify as a whole different way of speaking
• It wasn’t until he dropped a hammer on his foot and cursed that he understood what you’d meant
• “What in the sam hill! Sweet hell!” He’d exclaimed, startled. Once the throbbing in his leg had subsided, Engineer replayed his words in his head, making a slight o with his mouth as he realized you were probably right. To some extent at least
• He was a born and raised Texas boy, so it makes sense that the culture rubbed off
• Doesn’t understand at first that you find it nice. Maybe he thought you pointed it out just because you could? He’s a bit distracted when it comes to anything but machinery, so he misses context sometimes
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲
• Surprised that someone like you who can speak English fluently finds his mannerisms attractive
• Gets frustrated sometimes when he can’t remember certain words in English. Heavy is a very smart man, so it aggravates him when he looks illiterate in front of his team
• That’s why hearing that you like his mother tongue caught him by surprise
• “But you don’t know any Russian?” He’d rumbled out as a question. When you shook your head no, still sporting a smile, his eyebrows furrowed further
• “Nah. But I like hearing it when it comes from you. It sounds more natural. Like you’re more comfortable than normal, you know?”
• You’re technically right. When Heavy slips into Russian, often whilst talking to Sasha or simply forgetting that not everyone on the team know how to speak it, he is more comfortable in his words. They flow better, and he’s flattered that you’ve noticed
• One hundred percent offers to teach you Russian in his spare time. He finds it slightly adorable how you stumble over words in your broken translations, but always manages to softly correct you
• He’s a really good teacher
𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜
• Positively thrilled that you like his voice
• When you tell him for the first time, he goes into shock for a moment before breaking out into the biggest smile you’ve seen. Somehow its a perfect balance between excited and malicious
• “Do you hear zhat Archemedies? Mein freund here enjoys my accent!” He cooes at his bird, chuckling in a way that would make anyone’s insides squirm
• Once you look past Medic’s initially devious reaction, it’s very clear he enjoys knowing this
• If anything, the ex-doctor would have thought that you’d enjoy the more stereotypically romantic sounding languages. Spanish, Latin, etc
• German has always been considered harsh or scary sounding, and it turned a lot of people away from hiring him after the events of World War Two, which he understood. Still, Medic finds himself absolutely tickled that you are drawn to his accent
• Finds himself slipping more and more into German while doing checkups on you now. When he catches himself, he translates most of what’s he’s said back to you. But sometimes he’ll simply forget, and it leaves you wondering if he’s offered you a glass of water or the opportunity to swap your bladder out
• You sincerely hoped it was the former
𝐒𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫
• Oh my god you killed him
• Sniper is very reserved. Living in his camper, hunting his own game for dinner instead of joining the others, literally pissing in jars, etc etc
• Being a man of few words comes part and parcel with that; which normally works out just find because Scout talks enough for ten people
• Hasn’t said much to you before. He mostly communicates in head nods or slight tilts of his coffee mug in your direction. Maybe a few ‘good mornin’s’ tossed around, but nothing more than that
• “You know, you should talk more.” You’d said to him one day while pouring a fresh pot of tea you had just boiled into your own mug. He preferred black coffee himself, but whatever floats your boat
• “You voice.” You elaborated after a sip. You must have noticed his confused look as you carried on. “It’s nice. Can’t imagine that you don’t have gals throwing themselves at you all the time because of it.”
• Suddenly very grateful he wasn’t drinking any of his brew at the time, because what you said surely would have made him choked
• He, in fact, had had a few ladies approach him in town before saying something along the same lines. Even a few fellas. But nothing made him blanch this strongly like you had
• Excuses himself as he walks out of the room suddenly, tilting his hat down to cover his face no one can see the furious red tint forming
• Sniper leaves you in the communal kitchen. Holding a steaming cup of liquid and looking very confused
𝐒𝐩𝐲
• Already knew before you told him
• To anyone else, it would have been passible as just curiosity. But Spy’s job is to know things, and it is an undeniable fact that you found his voice attractive
• Doesn’t utilize this weapon often. You are not a weak willed person swayed by just a few words, so when he needs something he pulls out all the stops
• Of course, that doesn’t stop him from being impressed when you eventually admit your little not-so-secret-secret to him. And of your own free will. He didn’t have to pry it out of you, which was a feat on its own
• Much like Heavy, he extends the offer of teaching you how to learn his language. Now that he no longer has this knowledge as a bargaining chip, he might as well seize the opportunity to teach you a proper language
• Considers using electroshock therapy to condition you faster, but nixes it pretty quick
• Again, like Heavy, he finds it cute how horrible you are at French. More amused than anything, but he can appreciate the way you practice verbs in your free time even when he isn’t leaning over your shoulder
• That you know of, that is
• Praises you often in french, letting excited phrases slip when you nail a particularly hard set of words
• “Merveilleux ! Tu t’améliores beaucoup, ma petite. Encore une fois.”
• While you don’t understand the full extent to his words, you smile and continue on, eventually realizing what he had said later in a fit of embarrassment
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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months
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Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.
I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.
If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.
The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)
WARNING: severe amounts of simping
Scout:
- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HE’S BROKKEEENNN
- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.
- You’re confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesn’t react.
- In his head he’s already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in people’s heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?
- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. He’s batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a “SPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!” as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.
———————————————————————-
Soldier:
“NOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLY— Oh.. Ah..” Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demoman’s sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?
- Because on one hand, you’re impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand that’s HIS THING. NOT YOURS! He’s one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.
- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)
- “Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” You ask him afterwards. “NEGATIVE. THAT’S A ROCKET. I ran out of room.” He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something he’d do.
———————————————————————-
Demoman:
- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. He’s both offended, and slightly attracted. You’ve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody — among other things.
- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, he’s scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and he’s old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesn’t make him any less disoriented though.
- “Ay.. finally somebody who’s on my level!” he calls after you. Promising he’ll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. He’s trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.
- Well, you’re tied. You’re both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.
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Engineer:
- You distract him so much he doesn’t even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. You’ve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. “God. DANGIT.”
- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points… emphasis on tries. You’re his type AND you’re blood thirsty. He can’t help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.
- He can’t bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasn’t raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didn’t sound so weird out of context.
- Fuck it. Christian shame doesn’t beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. You’ve fucked him up.
—————————————————————————
Heavy:
- “Heavy, i’m fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when to— Was zur Hölle?!” Medic complains, looking away from Heavy’s WAY too apparent hard on.
- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. He’s both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.
- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. It’s disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didn’t exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.
- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.
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Pyro:
- You’re the same as them in their point of view. A ‘misunderstood’ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!
- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. You’ve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.
- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. “Hey. It’s alright. I got this.” You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. “What’s up?” You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.
- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.
—————————————————————————
Sniper:
- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few — for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.
- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering you’re the first person in a while who hasn’t fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.
- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. “Eyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.” He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.
- “As if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.” You talk back. “I do, actually.” He says, shrugging at your rage. He didn’t feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. “I could show ya if ya want.”
- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point it’s red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for god’s sake while you’re at it.
———————————————————————
Medic:
- Uhm.. Medic’s a little weird.
- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims it’s because they’re all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.
- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He can’t focus after what he’s seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god he’s gross. God, just shut up.
- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, he’s just incredibly horny. “Archimedes.” Medic said breathlessly. “I do believe i’m moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..” He sort of laughs nervously.
- Coooo. Brrr.
- “Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.” His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. “Every time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.” He says, darkly. What he doesn’t know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him — with your consent — it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.
————————————————————-
Spy:
- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesn’t waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy we’re talking about here. He’s a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.
- “That was some fine work out there.” He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. “Would you care to join me for a second?” He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because he’s something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.
- “I have a feeling—“ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didn’t sense any discomfort. “That we will enjoy each other’s company often, my pet.” He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.
- Dude is so fucking slick that you can’t resist him. He’s unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesn’t hold back. His knife is threatening your back and he’s atop you. “Shhh.”
- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.
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mrsvalentinefucker1 · 2 months
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Another sniper redraw
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bob-mirum · 1 year
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I haven't been feeling very well lately, but drawing helped me recover a little Well, many wanted these two old men, so I hope you like it~
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lunatic-pudge · 6 months
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Scout, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Spy Relationship Headcanons
Can you tell which ones are my absolute favorite:')
Scout
• Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to get over his infatuation of Ms. Pauling (I'm 110% convinced she's a lesbian), so you must be basically a deity to be catching his attention (though he'd the type to flirt with EVERYONE)
• Golden retriever energy, also youngest child energy. Constantly wants to do everything for you but also needs constant attention. He's also used to be getting picked on by the other mercs and his older brothers so he'll be going to you for validation. But he also doesn't want to appear weak so it'll take some time to break through his (fragile) shell.
• Love language: physical touch and acts of services. Will be constantly trying to act like a macho man for you but will also beg to hold your hand. Cuddles are constant. He may not be good at being a handyman, but my gods he's gonna try his darndest. Plz tell him that he did a good job, he's trying his best.
• He's the best person to go to if you wanna go on randon and unexpected adventures. One minute you're both in Teufort, the next your across country at the beach up east coast. Poor thing gets yelled at a lot for just uping and leaving without notice.
• Local snack dealer. Ma is always making sure that he's got sweets on hand. His room has care packages from her with some of the most wholesome letters from her and the box if FILLED to the brim with sweets, treats, and soda
Pyro
• My little baby boo, a wholesome partner who would kill for you. Can get jealous very easily so you might have to hold them back from committing manslaughter.
• Love language: quality time and gift giving. Time with Pyro is time well spent. Constantly just wants to be in the same room with you. They don't do well when you're not around. Also loves to give gifts. Most of their gifts consit of stuffed animals and handmade drawings. Your room will be filled with gifts from this goofball.
• In my opinion, they're a lot more there than people realize. Some days are better than others though. They were literally CEO of an engeneering company! And I believe they made all their weapons to but I could be wrong on that. Homie is definitely reliable when they're having a good day, but on the bad days, just sit and spend time with them. You don't gotta say anything, just knowing your right there beside them is enough conformation to know you'll always be there no matter what.
• You two are little troublemakers. You'll constantly be up to no good with them. It seems like harmless fun, but you've both almost burnt down the base five times just this month!
Demoman
• Probably one of the best lovers you could have out of all the mercs (aside from Engie, they're competing for the number one spot). I'm deducting points cause of the nonstop alcohol consumpution. :(
• But he is a happy goofy dunk so thank gods for that. Always happy to be here. Very attentive, caring, cuddly, overall a good person to date or even just be friends with.
• Cause the constant alcohol ruined a good portion of his memory (and Medic as well), he writes down every little detail of you that he can in a little journal he secretly keeps on his person. Important dates, likes, dislikes, ect. The man has it on file in case of emergencies.
• Love language: gift giving and act of services. He works three jobs and makes over 5 mil a year, he's LOADED. He's gonna buy you the world if you ask. Definitely good at money managing so he never worried at how much gifts cost. He's also gonna try his darndest to help you out with any problems, though it can be a bit hard when you're constantly drunk. Hims trying his best, okay?
• Wants his mom to approve of you but knows how critical she is of him. Poor baby has some self-esteem issuses cause of her so please give him lots of love and support. It's hard when your mom never has anything nice to say about you and compares you to everyone else. It's a neverending struggle. :(
Medic
• You're definitley into weird and questionable people if you like this man, and that means we're best friends now. :D
• He will ask you to help him out with surgeries and organizing his lab. You're hims little nurse. He'd probably (absolutley) be getting you a nurse outfit with his symbol on it.
• He's very much the possessive type. What's his is HIS, no if, ands, buts, or questions about it. Would put a tracker in you so he knows where you are at all times, but someone would have to talk him out of doing it... for now...
• Constantly talks about you to his birds, if any on them ever have babies, he's naming one after you. Would get you a stuffed dove plushie to cuddle with at night when he can't be there with you
• Love language: physical touch and quality time, you're ALWAYS welcomed in his lab, in fact, he expects you to be there with him. Is the type to ask you to grab something and will graze his hands against yours when grabbing it from you. (then give a shit eating smirk afterwards) He'd also be the type to stand VERY close to you, and stand behind you in an intimidating way to keep others from talking to you.
Sniper
• This man is my all time baby boy so I have LOTS to say about him and how much I love him :')
• Is someone who takes a while to get close to, especially in a romantic way. He's just a shy little boy who's used to being alone. But isn't introverted, just has introverted tendencies (you literally see him hanging out with some of the other mercs in Expiration Date)
• Love language: words of affirmations and physical touch, he sucks at verbally saying how he feels about you but will leave cute little love notes around for you to find. He's also VERY touched-starved so he will just flat out lay on top of you if you let him. Loves hearing you say how much you love him, plz just hold his hands and say how much he means to you, he might just cry from it.
• Is also someone who goes on random adventures, but they're usually just out and away from everyone. But I could see him taking you to a zoo or aquarium to look at the animals. But you're not allowed to go to a Humane Society cause you'll be walking out with all the animals they have and raising them like they're your babies,
Spy
• Another gremlin who takes a long time to warm up to you. He's a grumpy old man who's never really been with someone in such a serious light (aside from Scout's Ma)
• Love language: gift giving and words of affirmation, another merc who would buy you the world if you asked. Will only buy you the best of the best and will throw hands with someone if it's not up to his standards. He could go on about his love for you. His words sound like poetry. You'd wake up with a bouquet of roses and one of the most beautiful love letters anyone has ever read.
• Is 50/50 on PDA, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, call you beautiful, and give you a peck on the cheek in front of others but that's about it. Any extreme PDA is to be in private or you're getting a scolding.
• Would definitely help you learn French. He's way more patient with you than anyone else. You've seen him yell and insult every merc a couple times (Scout getting the brunt of it), but he refuses to ever say anything negative about you
• Definitely the bragging type. He'll put you on a pedestal and go on about how gorgeous you are. How you were crafted by gods, and so on. He thinks he's better than everyone else so if you're with him, than you're right up there with him.
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sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]
these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better
yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT
if ur under 16 please don't interact 👍🏻
afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though
obviously this is under a cut
warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry
mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones
Scout:
-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters
-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit
-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal
-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)
-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)
-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him
-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY
-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close
-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔
-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in
-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit
-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will
Soldier:
-good GAWD
-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay
-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance
-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad
-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really
-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it
-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)
-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another
-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here
-very attracted to body hair bc i say so
-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands
-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao
Pyro:
-man,,,,
-obviously into temperature and wax play
-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊
-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body
-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned
-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names
-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad
-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end
-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔
Demo:
-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍
-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy
-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink
-is also open to a threesome with soldier
-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!
-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"
-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say
-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)
-very much into face and thigh riding
-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time
-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!
-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴
-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer
-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed
Heavy:
-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄
-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content
-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)
-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice
-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"
-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild
-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear
-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!
-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)
-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his
-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more
-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh
-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!
Engineer:
-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍
-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage
-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast
-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week
-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you
-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo
-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE
-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present
-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him
-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will
-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)
-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his
MEDIC!
-the moment we've all been waiting for
-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean
-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell
-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you
-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!
-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you
-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom
-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves
-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here
-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you
-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace
Sniper:
-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.
-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers
-absolutely into knife play come on
-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest
-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love
-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too
-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys
-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc
-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl
-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days
Spy:
-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover
-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself
-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation
-also has a daddy kink let's get real here
-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!
-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him
-likes buying you lingerie
-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️
-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]
-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄
-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink
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jar-of-ectoplasm · 1 year
Text
sleeping w/ the mercs [NOT LIKE THAT]
sorry the formatting is shit i made this on mobile 🫤
shitty headcanons abt the mercs rooms and ur guys’ sleeping arrangements hope u enjoy like and subscribe it’s rly long so it’s under the cut
scout:
-very very messy room
-but like he knows where all his shit is so whatever works for him
-his mattress is on the floor bro 💔 just kidding but his bed frame is pretty low to the ground so it might as well be
-he’s got a smaller bed and a single blanket so you both are gonna be cuddling whether you wanted to or not
-surprisingly soft sheets, he stole some of spy’s fancy silk ones so it’s pleasant
-always has a fan/AC unit going for the noise but his blanket is pretty thin so it’s colder than you’d probably prefer
-kicks a lot in his sleep so just be prepared 🤕
-doesn’t snore very loud but does drool a lot and he usually ends up laying his face on your chest/your head so you are gonna wake up a little soggy sorry 💔💔
-usually falls asleep around 11pm or midnight but does wake up at random hours of the early morning almost nightly before passing back out
-pretty much always wakes up before you, he goes on morning jogs everyday so if you’re up for it he’ll take you with him
-does like to surprise you with “breakfast” in bed (it’s dry cereal and a tiny carton of orange juice but he tried)
soldier:
-really REALLY plain room
-it’s a little eerie, everything is very clean and the walls are bare concrete bc the rooms at RED headquarters are basically prison cells
-the only decoration in his room is an american flag, his bedside table with a lamp and alarm clock and a little bald eagle stuffed animal the guys got him for christmas one year
-sleeps stiff as a board on his back so he isn’t the greatest cuddle buddy but will do so if you ask (he prefers spooning over anything else)
-he’s got a decently sized bed cause he’s a pretty big guy, so you’ve got room to move around
-his mattress is pretty hard though so it isn’t super comfortable but it’s better than the floor or some old military cot
-goes to bed at 10pm sharp every single night and wakes up at 5am for morning training and will try to get you to get up with him regardless of when you fell asleep
-if you don’t opt to get out of bed he does wake you up again with a plate of food (courtesy of engineer, soldier’s just the delivery guy)
pyro:
-probably the weirdest room out of everybody’s
-their bed is really nice, they’ve got a pillow top mattress and fuzzy blankets so it’s very soft but it’s overcrowded with some burnt looking stuffed animals and an insane amount of throw pillows
-the other decoration is really weird though don’t pay too much attention to it, it’s kinda creepy but it’s also pyro so 🤷🏻‍♀️
-doesn’t sleep in the flame-proof suit but they do sleep in onesie-esque pajamas
-doesn’t sleep in the mask either but they do use a sleeping mask and are usually face down in the pillows
-not the biggest cuddle person either but they aren’t above putting an arm around you or something similar
-always goes to sleep after you do and wakes up before you too
-they usually already have a cereal bar or some other sweet breakfast food on the nightside for you when you do wake up though
demo:
-THE MOST WELCOMING COZIEST ROOM THE IDEAL ROOMIE
-very warm, comforting room, he’s got a fuzzy rug put down and only uses lamps because the overhead light usually hurts his eye
-very large, very soft bed with warm blankets and soft pillows
-the pillows all have a faint smell of whiskey but whatever
-very much a cuddler, sober or not. he doesn’t move around much in his sleep and is a very heavy sleeper so once he’s out he’s out and you are stuck in that bed until he wakes up
-does snore but it isn’t obnoxious
-takes the eyepatch off and wears a bonnet to bed to protect his hair (he has multiple but his favorite one has his family’s tartan as the pattern)
-a night owl, he doesn’t get to sleep until 2-3am and usually wakes up the latest out of everybody (around 9-10am) and he will get pouty if you aren’t there when he wakes up
engineer:
-his room is basically an extension of his workshop, he’s got a desk crammed full of random bullshit and blueprints he hasn’t gotten around to testing yet
-doesn’t spend much time in his actual room, so aside from extra tools, spare parts and papers there isn’t much in there
-his bed is actually pretty comfortable but he hardly ever makes it out of his workshop before passing out for the night so he wouldn’t know 😒
-when he DOES go to bed in his room, he is a HUGE cuddler, he will not let you go under any circumstances
-does snore pretty loud but if you wake him up he’ll readjust himself so he snores less
-usually sleeps on his left side so you don’t accidentally roll onto his prosthetic hand and hurt yourself
-no matter what time he fell asleep the previous night, he always gets up at 6am and makes the team breakfast. he’ll let you sleep more while he’s cooking and surprise you with breakfast in bed (even though he does it everyday so it isn’t much of a surprise)
heavy:
-HUGE ASS BED
-like california king
-he’s obviously a big guy but he does move around a lot so he needs a bigger bed so he won’t fall off every night
-very very warm bedding, he brought most of his stuff from russia so it’s built to keep you warm
-has a little teddy bear his mother handmade for him when he was first born; it’s pretty worn and tattered but he brings it with him anywhere he lives
-does have a little padded box for sasha at the foot of his bed
-isn’t the biggest sleep cuddler but he does like to hold you beforehand. he doesn’t mind when you cuddle him in your sleep, though, so by all means pass out on his chest if you feel like it
-does some reading before he goes to sleep and is usually in bed by 9 or 10pm; wakes up at 5 every morning so soldier doesn’t have to do his morning routine alone
-likes waking you up around 7am so the two of you can have some light conversation with engie during breakfast
medic:
-sleeps on the operating table
-just kidding, but he usually ends up passing out on his desk rather than his room
-his room is very sterile; it kinda feels like a doctor’s office, it smells faintly of rubbing alcohol and is a little drafty so it’s usually pretty chilly
-has birdcages hanging from the ceiling, archimedes has a fancier one compared to the rest of his doves but he swears he isn’t playing favorites
-if you do manage to get him to leave the medbay he’s usually pretty delirious. he’s very affectionate when he’s tired so he’s definitely down for cuddling
-is kinda blind without his glasses so he keeps them on until the very last minute before he falls asleep
-likes to tell you stories of when he did have his medical license and when he lived in germany
-usually falls asleep with his back to you but when he wakes up he’s holding you to his chest
-usually wakes up at 5am as well and goes straight into taking care of his birds, he likes to whistle littles tunes to them so that may end up waking you as well
-almost never eats breakfast but he will be pestering you about it because he’s a hypocrite
sniper:
-well
-it’s a camper van
-it’s very cramped but he’s used to it just being him in there so he never really realized
-his bed folds up into the wall when he isn’t using it and he keeps his bedding folded next to it
-very used to living in much hotter climates, and even though it is new mexico it gets pretty cold at night so he’s usually shivering his ass off under a thin sheet
-is surprisingly clingy for someone so introverted and quiet, he claims it’s because you keep him warm but he’s also just a mushy guy in secret
-usually falls asleep watching some shitty DVD on his little portable dvd player he keeps on a counter next to his bed
-keeps his kukri hidden next to the mattress just in case
-very light sleeper and once he’s awake, he’s awake. poor guy barely ever gets any sleep because soldier is usually screaming outside the van 3 hours after he’s gotten to bed
-doesn’t eat breakfast, but he will make you a cup of coffee in the morning
spy:
-ugh
-bought all of his bedding and the mattress purely based on looks so it’s pretty surprising that it ended up being comfortable
-will not let anybody have their shoes on in his bedroom, you have to leave them in his smoking room if you wanna come in
-kinda like medic in the fact that he goes to bed not even looking at you but wakes up all over you. he is kind of an asshole about it being like “aw babe you literally think i’m irresistible even in your sleep” when HE’S the one that cuddled up to you
-keeps his butterfly knife under his pillow and a pistol in his bedside drawer
-always falls asleep after you and is always awake and out of bed by the time you get up
-he doesn’t eat engineer’s breakfast because he claims it’s “too filling and unhealthy to be eating that much as soon as you wake up” so he always makes a little french breakfast for himself
-he pretends like he doesn’t do anything for other people but he always makes a plate for you of whatever he makes himself and leaves it on his side of the bed with a cute little note for you
-will pretend like he has no idea what you’re talking about if you bring it up though
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rabbittf2x · 10 months
Note
how would the mercs make the reader flustered???? or reader makes the mercs flustered, doesn’t really matter lol. thanjk you
Mercs make Reader flustered
Includes: Scout, Demoman and Medic
Scout💖
You held a clipboard, reading through a contract Miss Pauling gave you when Scout entered the room. You looked up from your work at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue
“How you doing?” Scout grinned
You cradled the clipboard to your chest, pressing your back against the wall. He set his hand by your head, grinning at you. A blush was soon creeping along your face
“Hey, Scout. How you been?” You chuckled nervously
Scout adored how flustered he got you. It was a huge confidence boost (not that he needed it)
“Better now that I’m talking to you.” He purred
The line was cheesy and cliche, but you couldn’t help but giggle. You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hide your blush and smile
“Aren’t you cute?” You cooed
Scout flashed a bright smile at that. He leaned in closer as you both laughed softly. You clutched the clipboard tight to your chest, heart hammering at his forwardness
“Y’know, I think you’re pretty cute yourself.” Scout smirked
Demoman💖
You entered the rec room, planning to just pass through, until Demo spotted you. He was super drunk, and apparently in a clingy mood. He cried your name affectionally, nearly falling off his chair
“I missed ye!”
Demoman stumbled over to you, slipping an arm around your waist. He pushed you closer into him, leaning his head on your shoulder
“Hi, Demo! I—I just saw you earlier! Don’t you remember?” You giggled shyly
Demoman hummed in response, hiding his face in your neck. You froze up at the feel of his beard scraping against your soft flesh
“That was ages ago. Plenty of time to miss ye.” He slurred
A smile made its way onto your face as he wrapped his arms around you. “I missed you too.” You squeaked
You had to keep a firm hold on him too. Because he was nearly making you both fall every five seconds
“Oh,” Demoman slurred your name. “Yer so pretty. The things I’d do to you if you let me…”
Your face was instantly on fire. He kissed your neck, gliding his hands up your waist. You tried to sputter out some kind of response, but nothing came
Medic💖
“Hey, handsome.” You flirted
You entered the infirmary, beelining it over to Medic. He grinned as you came in close, gliding your hands up his chest
“Me, handsome? Look at you! You look lovely today, liebling!” Medic exclaimed
He slipped his arms around your waist, placing a sweet kiss to your cheek. He pulled you as close as he could against him, beaming that big smile
“Oh, Medic.” You giggled bashfully. “You’re too sweet to me.”
“Nonsense, dear.” He brought a gloved hand to touch your flushed cheek. “I love you!”
Goddammit. He had no right to make you feel all flustered like this. You had to advert your eyes, face completely red
“I love you too, honey.” You cooed, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl
Medic cradled your cheek tenderly, leaning in for a kiss when you weren’t looking. Your eyes widened, but then fluttered shut at the feel of his lips on yours. Your arms found their way around his neck, as he placed his hands firmly on your back
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2frosty4you · 2 months
Note
Hiii! If reqs are open, can I request for all the mercs finding out teen merc reader grew up with very neglectful parents, and is basically a mother to her younger siblings? The only reason she even took up a job as a mercenary is so she can pay the bills for her little brothers and sisters, since her parents are too busy using their money on drugs:/
Mercs find out teen!reader takes sole care of her siblings [Platonic
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| All mercs x GN!Reader Platonic | 826 words | Masterlist | Ask/Request |
Hardest thing about this was actually getting a name for it :cry:
╔═════════════════╗
Scout
✧ He says he relates, but in reality he doesn't. His family was filled with successful boys (fatherless) and his mother who they all loved. He sent his paychecks to her every time.
✧ When you explained that you had to take care of your siblings from a younger age over the campfire he became quiet.
✧ Doesn't make a joke, but the awkward air was getting to him.
"so.. how many siblings ya got?"
✧ He only says this to break the ice
✧ After a while he understands why you're always on calls with people, always away on ceasefire and always take any off days you can get (hardly any)
Soldier
"AN AMERICAN CARETAKER SHOULD NOT INTAKE DRUGS FROM THE FRENCH!!"
✧ He's trying, but not hard enough
✧ He offers you one of his extra helmets and his raccoons. He cares for you like a strange rabid dog you found on the street.
✧ Shares his food with you, gives his loyalty to your brothers and sisters with a goofy salute.
✧ Don’t let him meet your siblings unless you want him to get them to dig a trench around your house
Pyro
".. mph?"
✧ They don't understand why your parents aren't using their own money.
✧ They don't understand a lot of what you explained
✧ They'll begin to offer any candies they have to you, not like they weren't already. Protects you a lot on the battlefield and draws pictures for you and your siblings (mostly balloonicorn) 
✧ Would like to meet your siblings though, they've got plushies to share 100%
Heavy
✧ He pats you on the back and nods, he didn't need to mother/father a group of kids but having no father made his family's life harder.
✧ Teaches you some night hearty meals that could feed a battalion
✧ Also teaches you self defense, even if you know it already it's never enough (heavy tells you that like :nerd: )
✧ Also makes you sit and have some time to yourself, he's your 'father' now. No ifs, buts or whys
Engineer
"pardon."
✧ He says, frying pan in hand as he was cooking breakfast. Staring at you like he was going to kill a set of parents.
✧ Tries to keep you safer on the battlefield, not wanting you to suffer more than your family has done to you.
✧ Teaches you to cook, like heavy 
✧ Cooks breakfast for you first, and when you have a rough time its 100% only you getting proper meal.
✧ Will drive you to your family's house, and stand there like a guard as you let him meet your brothers.
✧ Probably would build little contraptions for them and help tutor them.
✧ Loves you like family, including your siblings (not your parents, not at all)
Demoman
✧ He's drunk when you tell him this, he raises his bottle and spits out
"aye, fuck ya parents"
✧ He passes out immediately
✧ If he's sober when you mention it again he's going to be more caring(slightly) and since hes always at least tipsy he'll offer you his bombs like a drug dealer.
✧ If you say yes he'll blow up them and their crackhouse.
✧ Is on the fence about meeting your siblings, he doesn't really want your brothers seeing a drunk, half-blind Scot stumbling around.
Medic
✧ His eye twitches, a large insane smile on his face as he turns to you while having his elbows deep in the corpse of the enemy heavy.
"Did I mishear you?"
✧ He removes his hands from the corpse and comes over to you shaking you like crazy. Ranting about how a teenager shouldn't be caring for small children and asking if you had symptoms for any mental issues.
✧ He's insane, I'm not gonna sugar coat it.
✧ But he is smart and teaches you how to do some basic first aid
'no medic I'm not going to remove any appendices please stop cutting into scout'
✧ Wants to meet your sisters, offers them to play with his birds and offers up some plushies
'MEDIC DON'T GIVE THEM SYRINGES' 'and PLEASE put away the baboon heart'
Sniper
✧ Asks for you to repeat what you muttered and then offers to 'get rid' of your parents (sniper put down the rifle.. and the jarate)
✧ Drives you back and to your family home, is uncomfortable around small children so he's going to 100% either stay in his truck or be leaning against it the whole time.
✧ Don't worry he didn't bring any jarate with him.. Just don't check the truck (please) 
✧ But if he mentions taking care of birds your siblings demand to see them, so they get along well
Spy
✧ He will assassinate them, won't tell you, but it'll be suspicious when your mother dies from an overdoses while having and obvious bullet hole through her chest
✧ Look, he wasn't a father to scout but he'll be a father for you. Better than your last father at least, and a little better than he was to scout.
✧ Teach your siblings french 100%, you won't know until they start speaking it and you're left dumbfounded.
╚═════════════════╝
Posted 1.03.2024 if you see any typos or anything pls tell me!!
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