#thanks again to lauren for proof-reading <3

[happyminyards]

Titanic Myths and Misconceptions, pt2.

[part 1, feat.  "not enough lifeboats", "untrained crew", "no lifeboat drills" and "speeding & ignoring ice warnings", here]

"The Titanic lowered lifeboats half filled"

Now this is true! Here's a breakdown of which lifeboats went down when and with how many people in them (approximately, since we’re not sure on some and the last two literally washed off the deck). However, this is often framed in two ways: Titanic's officers were inexperienced and thus couldn't load the boats fully in time (we already covered this) or Titanic's officers were stopping men and third class passengers from entering.

Reality is once again more complicated than that. To make one thing clear, yes, Officer Lightoller was specifically not allowing men in via the boat deck, apart from crew members who were needed to work the boats. 

This stems from him interpreting Smith's "put the women and children in and lower away" order as "women and children only", while Murdoch interpreted it as "women and children first". Since the Birkenhead Drill was not a law but rather chivalric code that got implemented in different ways (or sometimes not at all), no interpretation can really be deemed as "wrong".

Now, Lightoller also indicated that he didn't consider loading the boats full before they were in the water as safe, mainly worrying about the strain on the construction. While Titanic's lifeboats were actually tested completely filled during her drills and Lightoller was aware of them, he was basically pulling on his years of experience at sea where lowering fully loaded lifeboats often resulted in tragedy. We don't know if Murdoch, who was in charge of the lifeboats on the other side of the ship, had the same reservations since he (probably, it's debated whether it was him or Wilde) shot himself before the ship went down.

And before people start vilifying Lightoller, he and the rest of the crew were actually planning on loading the lifeboats from the gangways down below. Besides seemingly being safer, this would avoid crowding on the boat deck and give folks who were down below a fighting chance. The crew thought the boat was going down in about an hour, that would not be enough time for all the 2nd and 3rd class passengers who largely occupied the lower decks to find their way up. Lightoller specifically sent down crew men to open the doors (which did happen almost everywhere, though the crew probably drowned or got trapped while doing so). We also have Boxhall saying that Smith was ordering boats to come back and load from the gangways during the sinking, which is also backed up by survivors. Now, this didn't happen. Why? Some boats were scared of being swamped (even after the ship went down), some thought they needed to get away quickly to avoid being sucked under water when the Titanic actually went down or being damaged by another boat. This actually almost happened, lifeboat 13 almost had lifeboat 15 lowered on their head when they had to row to the side to avoid water being released by a condenser exhaust.

But the crew were always planning on filling the boats up fully to their best ability, and as safely as possibly.

There's also the issue that especially at the start of the sinking no one wanted to get into the goddamn boats. Titanic's impact wasn't super dramatic, the damage she received was actually ridiculously small, only around 12-13 square feet/1.1-1.2 square meters. It took them awhile to figure out whether Titanic was actually sinking, since they needed to go down and see exactly where the damage was located (see the green lines here). 

The only reason she sank is that the damage was spread over six watertight compartments. Freak bad luck.

But this also meant that Titanic sank very evenly and calmly for almost two hours. People frankly just did not think she was going down, and were understandably reluctant to get into tiny boats to be lowered into the ice cold, pitch black ocean when the big liner seemed so much safer. Some even went up to the boat deck, saw the boats, and decided to go back down to their cabins. 

Additionally, people were reluctant to be separated from their families, which is understandable enough. The officers however, as I said, thought she was going down in about an hour and would probably capsize violently (that was Thomas Andrews', the chief designer's, estimate), so lowering the boats quickly was their priority, even if they were not filled. 

Better to lower two boats quickly than to spend half an hour convincing people to get into one, because boats in the water could at least pick people up or load them from the gangways or water, while boats still chained on deck would go down with the ship (and they really had no time to spare, they didn’t even manage to launch the last two boats).

"Titanic's third class passengers were locked down below"

Now the third class passengers being locked down below is a combination of issues. For one, there were waist-high gates that locked off third class. These were there due to US immigration regulations. We also know that a lot of them were opened once the ship started going down (see testimonies linked below), though of course there is the possibility that they didn't get to all of them in time. 

The testimony most often cited (and probably also used by Cameron as inspiration) is that of Daniel Buckley. He woke up due to "a terrible noise", immediately stepped into water, and decided that this was Not Good (which not everyone did, so good for him). His cabin is in the bow, so one of the first to be flooded. 

He goes outside, encounters two sailors that shout "All up on deck! Unless you want to get drowned!". He also testifies that he went up on deck, then back down, and back up again before being given a lifejacket by a first class passenger.

When further asked, he does say that guys he thinks were sailors "tried to keep us down at first on our steerage deck. They did not want us to go up to the first class place at all". When asked whether there "was any effort made on part of the officers or crew to hold the steerage passengers in the steerage?" he says that "[he does] not think so".

Little bit of a contradiction at first glance.

However, there's a pretty logical explanation: the stewards and sailors wanted them to go up, but they wanted them to go up quickly and safely. Having passengers stream into the first class areas would not be beneficial, they did not know their way around and would most likely get lost, Titanic was a maze. We have examples like Minnie Coutts stating that she got lost and couldn’t find her way until a sailor guided her up. 

The stewards were most likely trying to get the third class passengers to their own deck space, from where they could just walk up to the boat deck. This would also have the added benefit of having them go towards the stern, away from the flooding. 

However, there's panic and confusion around (more in Third Class then elsewhere, since their compartments actually started to flood early) and a lot of the third class doesn't speak English. There were also only around 50 third class stewards for hundreds of passengers, and a handful of them were ordered to help out on the boat deck to launch the lifeboats early on. 

So it's understandable that some situations may have arisen where Third Class passengers were held back from going through the first class spaces, not out of malicious intent, but actually in an attempt to get them up safely. 

Not a lot of the third class stewards survived, so we obviously can't be sure, but we know that John Edward Hart took "his" passengers up personally for exactly those reasons, as did Albert Pearcy. They also both testify that the Chief Steward of the Third Class, James Kieran, ordered them to collect passengers and take them up. 

We also have other third class passengers stating that to their knowledge, no passengers in steerage were prevented from going on (Berck Pickard, Olaus Abelseth). 

There’s also often the idea that the rich passengers on board were given priority at the lifeboats. That is not the case, pretty much the sole factor up there was gender. It’s all over the inquiries, they’ll always mention how a crew men told them to get in, or how there were no women around at all. Dickinson H Bishop, Henry Blank and others were accused of dressing up as women to get into the boats or otherwise bribing their way in. If you were a man and had the audacity to survive, you better have a damn good reason for it. 

We also have multiple very, very rich people dying. John Jacob Astor (at that point one of the richest men in the world with a net worth of over 2 billion), Isidore and Ida Straus (she refused to leave the ship without him), Benjamin Guggenheim, Archibald Butt (who was a close friend to president Taft) and his supposed boyfriend/partner/”[his] artist friend who lives with [him]” Francis Davis Millet. If there was priority given to the First Class/rich passengers, they were doing a bad job. 

"They didn't see the ice berg because of the missing binoculars"

The famous missing binoculars. Remember officer David Blair, who was assigned elsewhere last minute since Wilde was pulled over from the Olympic? The story is that in his haste to leave Titanic, he accidentally took the keys for the locker that housed the binoculars intended for the lookouts with him. Fleet and Lee, the lookouts at the time of the collision, thus were unable to see the iceberg in time.

Now, there's actually quite a few oddities in this story. The whole idea that Blair took the key with him mostly originates from the testimony of another lookout, George Hogg, who said that "Mr. Blair was in the crow's-nest and gave me his glasses, and told me to lock them up in his cabin and to return him the keys." and that then there were "none [in the crow's nest] when we left Southampton.". 

We then have George Symons, yet another lookout (Titanic had six who covered shifts in pairs), testifying that after they left Southampton, he went and asked Lightoller for binoculars, who told him that "there are none", which Lightoller backs up here.

Blair was supposed to be the second officer, replaced by Lightoller (who got bumped down from first). However, we know that Lightoller had access to binoculars. Meaning that even if Blair took his keys with him, Lightoller either had his own key or managed to procure a replacement. 

We also know that there were multiple pairs on board, "A pair for each Senior Officer and the Commander, and one pair for the Bridge, commonly termed pilot glasses". Meaning if the lookouts seriously needed some, they could have been loaned some, especially since there'd only be one senior officer "on watch" at any given time. 

This also makes it clear that there were no dedicated binoculars for the lookouts, a fact that is backed up by both the Marine Superintendent of the White Star line here when describing the contents of the box in the crow's nests. We also have multiple captains testifying on whether they consider binoculars essential, which might explain why they weren't usually supplied:

No, I do not. - Captain Richard Jones I never heard of it until I read it in the paper the other day. We have never had them - I never have. - Captain Frederick Passow My Lord, I do not believe in any look-out man having glasses at all. I only believe in the Officer using them, and then only when something has been reported in a certain quarter or certain place on the bow. - Sir Ernest Shackelton, Artic Explorer

Now, why is that the case? Binoculars were considered to be useful in identifying an object once they were spotted, and as Lightoller puts it: "[The lookout] might be able to identify it, but we do not wish him to identify it. All we want him to do is to strike the bells.” 

It seems like binoculars were sometimes issued on White Star Line ships (Hogg testified that he had used them on the White Star Line’s Adriatic, but no other ship), but that it "[was] a matter of opinion for the officer on watch."

We also have multiple lookouts testifying that binoculars would, by their best judgment, not have helped Fleet and Lee spot it earlier since binoculars were not used for that:

Not much of a help to pick anything up; but to make it out afterwards, they were. - Thomas Jones "Do you mean you believe in your own eyesight better than you do in the glasses? Yes - George Hogg Yes. You use your own eyes as regards the picking up anything, but you want the glasses then to make certain of that object. - George Symons

"A fire weakend Titanic's hulls, which caused it to fail"

This old chestnut. I say old, but it's a "theory" originating in the 1990s. The idea is that there was a raging coal fire that heavily damaged the Titanic, proven by black smudges on a handful of pictures. 

Now, it is true that there was a coal fire on the Titanic. This was fairly common in ocean liners at the time, due to the ridiculous amount of coal on board occasionally spontaneously combusting (fun) and there were procedures in place to deal with it.

The coal was stored in bunkers within the boiler rooms, see here, specifically to separate them out a bit. The boiler rooms (and other parts of the ships) were separated into watertight compartments divided by watertight bulkheads and doors. 

The bulkheads were made of fairly thick steel and able to hold hundreds of tons of water. The coal bunkers themselves were made out of thinner steel, since they only needed to hold the coal itself, not water.

The fire on the Titanic happened in bunker Y in boiler room 6, presumably right when she left port. We know this because men were shoveling out coal both out of bunker Y and bunker W, the adjoining bunker on the other side of the watertight bulkhead in boiler room 5. 

Ironically enough, that specific bunker was the last one that just got nicked by the iceberg, dooming the ship (if it had stayed intact Titanic probably would have floated along). The bunkers, as I said, were not made watertight. So when bunker W was flooded, the steel eventually failed and flooded boiler room 6 completely.  

We can glean this both from recreations of the damage and the testimony of chief fireman Frederick Barrett, who was actually in boiler room 6 when it started flooding.

The "fire theory" states that the fire warped the bulkheads, which caused them to fail. To warp the bulkheads seriously, the fire would have had to burn at over 1000 degrees Fahrenheit/537 degrees celsius, probably hotter, which would then cause the rivets used to fasten the steel together to fail. 

Directly above the fire was the First Class Swimming Pool, which would have heated up considerably if it sat above a raging inferno. One might find it hard to believe that a boiling pool would have been described as "heated to a refreshing temperature" and that "in no swimming bath had [he] ever enjoyed such a pleasure before" by Archibald Gracie. 

Now we do know that there was a small "ding" in the bulkhead, according to Barrett, but that was small enough to just be painted over and investigated by the chief engineer, who deemed it to be no issue. And as previously stated, we can be pretty certain that the coal bunker burst, not the watertight bulkhead. 

There's also the very simple fact that the smudge in the photograph is actually located above a bunch of third class cabins and a good fifty feet away from the coal bunkers & boilers, but oh well.

#titanic #actually someone ask me about the break because yes they didn't believe the folks who said she broke NO it wasn't bcs of misogyny pls #this is long and i still didn't mention the switch theory at all pls give me a cookie #thanks again to lauren for proof-reading <3 #tina rambles #also someone ask me about the actual human stories on the titanic bcs i wanna talk about daniel buckley being hidden away

[fa-by]

Heellooo babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗. How are you? I hope you're all well 🥰.

Remember in the last post I told you that out of all the asks in my inbox, I’ve focused on one in particular that was taking a lot of my time up and that had turned into a big post? Well, here we go. The ask is this one, so you know what it's about:

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. And yes, I did it 😉. Just one thing though, and I'm saying this to you and anyone else who’s reading this right now:

I absolutely don't want that analysis, that post, to get out of here. Nope. If you've known me for a while, then you guys already know how much I don't want to be involved in any way. Most of all, I don't want my stuff to get to their teams or Camila and Lauren themselves. Like, never. Never, ever, never in a million years. I'd rather go back to being a silent fan. You also already know how much I despise Twitter, but by ‘I absolutely don't want it to get out of here’, I really mean nowhere else. So, no YouTube, no Instagram, no Facebook, no TikTok, and yes, especially no fucking Twitter of course.

I love Tumblr for a reason, but unfortunately, I'm aware this is the internet. I'm aware of the risk that the same thing that happened with my very first post, could happen again with that one. I can’t control the actions of others, and I certainly can’t decide for you. I can, however, ask you to have respect for my decision. If you really have the need to publish it elsewhere, then please ASK ME before doing so. This also applies to the proofs you'll see in the post. Please, ask me first, and we'll arrange what's good for me for you to post and what's not, okay? That's all I'm asking. Don't make me regret even creating all that. Please and thank you 🙏🏼.

Having said that, and I'm sorry to keep you on your toes for a while longer, you'll have this analysis, this long and detailed ass post, tomorrow around the same time (1 am UTC+1 /// 9 pm UTC-3).

Till tomorrow, guys 👋🏼😘

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

[hazel-light]

Chapter Word Count: ~7,500

Total Fic Word Count: ~30,000

Genre: (Wedding) Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, lots of bed sharing and every self indulgent fluffy trope possible.

Warnings: None? Lots of fluff? Occasional cussing? Some suggestive themes, moments, and jokes I guess. No smut or anything!

Disclaimer: I am not Daniel Sharman, and I do not pretend to know how he would act, speak, etc. This is fiction okay, there’s a lot of creative license, and potential to be OOC. Ricky isn't mentioned because I started writing this before we knew he existed, so apologies for that. Also, if you’re DShar himself, please do us both a favor and don’t read this, okay???? Same if you know him 🙈

Title taken from the song Yellow Lights by Harry Hudson which suits this story quite a bit!

A/N: Okay okay here it is— the wedding fic I’ve been writing for literally six and a half months! I'm nervous and excited... this is the first fic I've written and posted in maybe 8? years. I asked you, and guys said you preferred chapters, so that's how I'll be posting. This first chapter is mostly exposition and fluff, the good stuff is coming I promise! I will be posting a part every day since the whole thing is already written. If you would like to be tagged, let me know. I would like to thank Rowena @heyrowena for being such a good friend and motivating me to be brave and get back into writing. Without you, this probably wouldn’t exist. Your motivation whenever I hit a roadblock or plot crisis was fundamental in helping the ending come together. I would also like to thank Tori @cavillsharman who spent countless hours talking out plots with me. Henry & Claire would not exist if it wasn’t for you! Thank you for bringing them to life with me. Thank you BOTH for helping me figure out how the heck to write kissing and ~romantic scenes. I think I hopefully found my way in the end. TLDR; Thank you Rowena and Tori, thanks for believing in me and helping this fic become a reality. ALSO! Thank you to my bestie Becka @kirklandhouse for giving all 100 pages of this a final proof/beta read with me to make it as smooth and shiny as possible. I love you! Okay. No more notes. I hope you enjoy it. Bye <3

—-

I sit in Daniel’s apartment, watching some new indie movie on Netflix. When he’s in town, we dedicate Wednesday nights to watching Netflix and playing some kind of card game together. It started originally as a group thing with board games, but eventually our friends' schedules fell apart, leaving it to just us most of the time.

My phone lights up and starts playing the typical FaceTime music, and I look down to see my cousin Ryan calling me; I decline the call. Daniel looks at me over his cards, knowingly.

“Is that your cousin? We can pause it,” he nods towards the TV.

Ryan and I are a good decade apart in age but really close. When I had to move across the country for work, I was heartbroken. Ryan was like the little brother I never had, and I’d lived with him, his mom — my Auntie Kim — and his sister Rachel nearly my whole life. I was worried the distance would change things between the two of us. Thankfully, it hadn’t.

I shake my head, watching the “missed call” light up on my lockscreen.

“No, it’s fine… I can call him later. He’s calling about his sister’s wedding.”

“Oh right, Rachel’s getting married this summer.”

I smile that he remembers, granted it would be hard not to. I have a tendency to talk about my family a lot, some might say too much.

“That’s coming up this summer, isn’t it? When is it — July?”

“Yeah, only two—” I’m cut off by my phone lighting up again, Ryan’s face once again on the screen. “God, he needs to stop. Sorry — let me text him.” I decline the call and start texting him, but before I can hit send, FaceTime is ringing again.

Daniel laughs, “I really think you should answer. He’s rather persistent.”

I shake my head, “Sorry.” I apologize before reluctantly answering the call, “Ryan, why are you—”

“Lauren!”

“Yes, hello.”

“I have been trying to reach you.” I look up at Daniel who has an amused smile on his face.

“I realize that, yes. I am doing something though, so is this an emergency, or...?”

“I was talking with Rachel and my mom, I guess the final guest count was due today.”

“Okay? That’s... nice. Is that… it?”

“Don’t worry, I told her you made a mistake on your RSVP; I fixed it just in time.”

I frown. “What do you mean? How did I make a mistake?”

Ryan rolls his eyes, and looks like he’s trying — and failing — not to look smug.

“You forgot to put that you were bringing a plus one.”

I laugh at that, “Yeah, I didn’t forget that, I don’t have a plus one.”

“I know.”

Silence.

“If you know that, why did you tell her I did? Your mom is going to be really mad if they pay for a plate of food for someone who doesn’t exist.”

Daniel’s fidgeting with his cards, but looking at me curiously.

“Because, Lauren. you need to find a plus one.”

“Uh —”

“No, no, no… listen. I’m bringing my girlfriend, and Rachel, who’s younger than you, by the way, is getting married. You’re, what? In your late twenties?” He takes a deep breath, “It’s time to find a mate.”

I visibly cringe at the messed up teenage boy logic. Daniel strategically places a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing, and I feel my cheeks start to heat up.

“A mate? Ryan, this is. Okay. That is, first of all, a really weird word choice. Second of all, thank you so much for your input. I really appreciate it, but —”

“No, Lauren. Listen. If you show up to this wedding without a date, you owe me fifty bucks.”

“That is NOT —”

“But, if you show up with a date, I will give you a hundred bucks, PLUS my mom won’t be mad at you.”

“Ryan. Seriously. This is not cool — do you even have a hundred bucks?” I feel the panic setting in, and the secondhand embarrassment of this occurring in front of, arguably, the most good-looking man on the planet. Daniel wouldn’t have any idea what it was like to be made fun of by your entire family for never having a boyfriend — or even a date to anything. I feel my face getting hot, and I know anxious tears are in my future. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, to try to calmly explain to my cousin, yet again, that I couldn’t just make someone enter my life by sheer will, nevermind someone who would be willing to fly across the country with me in less than two months. “Plus, Ryan, I don’t know how to tell you this, but —”

I feel a hand on my arm and look up to see Daniel looking at me so seriously, I stop midway through my sentence.

“Lauren? Tell me what?”

I’m still looking at Daniel who shakes his head ‘no.’ Confused, I make the mistake of asking out loud, “What?”

“Lauren? Who are you talking to?”

I look back at Daniel who is still trying to tell me something with his expression, something I didn’t understand. “Sorry, Ry, I was just —”

“Can I talk to him?” Daniel asks softly, but definitely loud enough for Ryan to hear.

I watch Ryan’s face go through shock, “You’re with a guy right now? Was that an accent? You’re with a guy with an accent?” He starts laughing, but I’m no longer paying attention, I’m still looking at Daniel who is looking at me expectantly, a half smile on his face.

“Sure? Ryan, hold on.” I say, handing the phone over to him with blind trust. I watch as Daniel smiles and waves at the screen.

“Hey Ryan, nice to meet you. I’m Daniel… Lauren talks about you all the time.”

“Uh, hi?”

“Hey. I know this is weird and sudden, but there hasn’t been a good time to really tell you this— Lauren and I are dating,” I feel my eyes widen in shock, but Daniel just glances at me and smiles. “I asked her not to tell anyone — I’m actually an actor, and — ”

“Wait a second, you were in that show! She’s mentioned you before, she said you guys were just friends…” Ryan interrupts skeptically.

“I know, I know, and to be honest, we were friends first. I just didn’t want her to say anything to anyone until...” He pauses, taking a deep breath, and I watch, bemused at this performance. “Until we knew things were really serious, and that they’d work out.”

“Uh huh. Well, I have a lot of questions about that —”

“I’m sure —”

“But the first one is, if you guys are really dating, are you going to be her plus one to the wedding? Or are things not ‘serious’ enough for you yet?”

I roll my eyes; even in his skepticism, Ryan is still as overprotective as ever.

“No, no, I — I had to check my filming schedule first, but I actually don’t fly out to film my next project until the end of August, so. This works out nicely, and I’m excited to meet you, and everyone, in person.”

It’s quiet a second, and I can almost hear the wheels in Ryan’s head turning.

“Are you covering for her so you get my 100 bucks? You really have to be dating, if you come as her friend it doesn’t count—”

“I know. Trust me. I’m not in this for the money.” He grins, finally looking at me to gauge my reaction which is still one of perplexed fascination. He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it, turning back to Ryan. “You’ll see.”

—-

Daniel and Ryan have a bit of a relaxed chat before Daniel finally gives the phone back to me. Pleasantries firmly pushed aside, Ryan asks me why I didn’t tell him sooner and I double down on the story that Daniel had come up with. I’m a little worried that I look guilty — my face usually betrays me — but if I do, it seems like Ryan just assumes it was guilt from keeping a “secret” from him. When we go to hang up, he smiles at me and says he’s happy for me, and that he hopes I enjoy the rest of my night, winking playfully before hanging up. Once again my cheeks are flushed red.

I let the hand holding the phone fall into my lap, turning my head against the couch to look at Daniel. Not knowing what to say, I shake my head.

He smiles, “Are you mad at me?”

I laugh, “Why would I be mad… are you mad, in the head? Are you really going to fly back to Massachusetts with me?”

He shrugs, smirking, “I do have a lot of miles to use.”

I shake my head, “This isn’t just... this is a commitment, though. If you thought Ryan had questions, wait until you see the rest of my family.” I frown. “They’re going to ask to take pictures with you to post on Facebook.”

“Are they?” he muses, “You think they’ll recognize me?”

“Well, to be honest, they might not… but if you tell them what you do, it won’t even matter. It’s like….” I struggle to find the words. “Clout chasing.”

He shrugs, “Okay.”

“Okay? That doesn’t bother you?”

“I mean, we are friends, we’ve been seen together before, I think it will be fine. Plus, I’ll be on my best behavior.” He puts on a mock serious tone. “No PR scandals.”

I laugh, “Right, because that’s my real concern here.” I pause, thinking it over in silence.

“Why’d you do it?” I don’t need to explain what ‘it’ is. He looks at me for a second before fidgeting with his cards he had previously discarded to talk to Ryan.

“You, uh, get really upset — I know you joke about it, being ‘undateable’ but…” He trails off and after a moment he starts again. “You looked really upset. And if I could help, I wanted to, I guess.”

I scoff. “You didn’t have to volunteer to be my fake boyfriend because you felt bad for me.”

He gives me his signature cheek: “For the record, I’m an actor. I’m a fake boyfriend professionally.”

I laugh, fueled by nerves. “I never thought about it like that.”

“It’ll be fun to meet your family.”

I bite my lip. “Well, get ready, I guess, because this may be your hardest role yet!”

He pretends to weigh the idea in his head, tilting his head to the side. “Mmm, somehow I don’t think so, but don’t worry, we can hold extra rehearsals just in case.”

“Alright. You let me know what that entails.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

We smile at each other. All of a sudden, I realize that the movie’s still playing, and neither of us have paid any attention to it for the better part of an hour. I check the time on my phone.

“We’re going to have to start this movie over next Wednesday. We missed the whole first half, and it’s getting late. I should probably get going.”

“Oh, okay. You know you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like, but I know you have an early morning.”

I get up and start gathering my things, moving towards the door. “You’re sweet. Thanks.”

I move to hug him goodbye.

“What are fake boyfriends for?”

I feel myself blush again. “Well. You’re sweet for even agreeing to be my fake boyfriend. I forgot to say thank you.” I look him in the eyes, hoping he can sense the sincerity. “Thank you.”

He smiles softly, “You’re welcome. It’ll be fun. I’m looking forward to it.”

—-

The following Wednesday, Daniel has some Skype meetings about the project he’s starting in August and our schedules don’t align for the rest of the week. We still text here and there, and I don’t know if or when we’re going to talk about the wedding. He seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing, but I’m still nervous, and I have a lot of questions swarming in my head. I’m sure I could have texted them to him, but I don’t know how to word things, and I figure it’s best just to discuss in person, where I can read him better.

I knock on his door, pizza box in my hand. A moment passes before Daniel opens the door, looking particularly cozy in an oversized sweater.

“Hey,” he smiles, pushing hair out of his face. “Come on in, sorry — I got a bit caught up in the script my agent just sent over.” He leads me over to the couch, where I see lots of printed pages scattered across the coffee table. He starts piling them together, making room for me to put the box down.

“That’s okay, no worries. Is it a good project? One you’re interested in, I mean?”

It’s no secret that Daniel is sent more projects than he bothers to audition for. At this stage of his career, he’s particular about the projects he signs on for. The character and the premise have to be something he believes in, something he cares about.

He glances up at me from where he’s organizing the pages.

“Yeah, I think so. There’s a lot of... sort of psychological conflict in this one, which I like.” He picks up the last of the pages before putting them in a folder and walking off in the direction of the kitchen. “Let me just put this away and then I’ll get plates and napkins — do you want anything to drink?”

“Water is fine,” I call after him, finally placing the box down on the table, sitting down in my usual place on the couch and shrugging my bag off my shoulder.

He comes back into the room carrying two glasses and two plates, a piece of notebook paper tucked between his fingers.

“So, uh, I hope it’s okay, but I put together a list.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “A list for what?”

“Things we’ll need answers for, for your family. Like character backstory… things like when we started dating — so our answers match.” He says it very matter-of-fact, like this was just everyday conversation and not something I’ve been silently obsessing over for the better part of a week.

“Oh! That’s really thoughtful,” I smile. “Good idea.”

He shrugs, handing me a plate and opening the pizza box, “I do it for every role.”

“Right,” I nod. We take a few minutes to eat and talk over our week, and then he wipes his hands on his napkin and picks up his list again.

“Alright, so, how we met, I figure we can keep the truth, that’s fine.”

“Yup, you came to see your friend in the community play, which I also happened to be in, you came to dinner with us after the show, and our friend group melded shortly after that.”

He gestures to the pizza box, “And now we’re having dinners of our own.”

I laugh, “We are.”

“So that’s when we met, but when did things change?”

I sit thinking, and Daniel does the same.

I’ve probably had a crush on Daniel since I saw him that first night; he’s the kind of person it’s hard not to feel drawn to right away. He has a way of making people feel seen, and his comments on the show were so thoughtful. I valued his compliments before I even knew he was an actor professionally. I wonder if I could say the truth out loud in a way that was nonchalant, make it seem like a concept that wasn’t based on real experience.

“Well,” I begin, clearing my throat. “I probably liked you from the word go, but I wouldn’t have done anything about it. So that would have had to come from you.”

“Huh,” he scratches his chin. “Leaving it all up to me. No pressure.” He chuckles. “I— hmm. I would need to know, or at least think you liked me before doing anything.”

“Oh, so you decide who to date based on who likes you, I see,” I tease.

“Fuck off, obviously I like you— would like you if I was going to date you, but I mean. I don’t want to be one of those guys creeping on his friends who aren’t interested.”

“Sure, Sharman, sure. So…?”

“Alright. Well, realistically, how long could you have been hiding this from your family? You talk to them all the time.” I roll my eyes but know he’s right. “So a month, maybe? That brings us back to April… . Got it— my birthday.”

“Happy birthday, I’m your girlfriend now!” I fake cheer.

He looks me dead in the eyes, replying with mock sincerity. “The best present I could have ever asked for.”

“Oh, shut up! So ridiculous. What happened on your birthday? What changed, as you say?”

I watch him think, curiously, thinking back to his birthday myself. It was a low key get together at his house with a bunch of his friends, some of whom were our mutual friends. He was grinning the whole night, and I loved to see him so carefree and happy.

“When you brought out the cake,” he starts, still staring off into space, “your face was all lit up by the candles, and everyone was singing, but all I could think about was how beautiful you looked. I realized I had to tell you how I felt, so I did. I pulled you aside at the end of the night and we talked, and then I kissed you.” He looks up at me. “What do you think?”

“That’s beautiful,” I compliment, trying not to think about how much I wish that really happened, that he really thought that when I brought out his birthday cake. “Who knew you were such a romantic deep down?”

He laughs bashfully. “I think you knew.”

“Maybe I had an inkling,” I smile. “What’s next on the list?”

He looks down at his list. “Have we said the big L word yet?”

“For sure. That same night.”

Daniel laughs and gives me a strange look. “You were ready for that one.”

“Well, I don’t know— you don’t confess to ‘kind of like someone’ when you’ve already been friends as long as we have.”

He smirks. “Right, well, when you say it like that, who could argue?”

—-

It’s another Friday when I’m lying down on Daniel’s couch with my eyes closed, when I feel him come and sit next to me, perching on the edge of the cushion. He laughs quietly to himself before I feel him start twirling one of my rogue curls around his finger. I open my eyes to see him smiling down at me, newly topped off drink in his hand. We’ve been playing a drinking game to one of his old favorite movies, and we’re both sufficiently tipsy.

“Hi,” I say, looking up at him.

“Oh hello.” He stops playing with my hair, smoothing it back into place. “Fancy meeting you here.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re always so funny, have I told you that?”

“Mmm,” he pretends to think. “Probably, but I always love when you remind me.”

“I aim to please,” I say, pulling myself halfway up to lean back against the couch cushion. We look at each other for a minute before I feel self-conscious and look away, reaching for my glass of water on the table. “What’re you thinking about?”

He watches me take a sip and says nothing. I quirk an eyebrow up at him, and put my glass back on the table. “Hello?”

“Just trying to figure out if now’s a good time.”

I frown. “Good time for what?”

He says nothing again, still looking at me. I narrow my eyes at him. “Just a reminder, I have anxiety, so if you could hurry up, that would be so very excellent.”

He laughs at that, taking a sip of his drink. He pulls a face after he swallows and leans forward to put the glass on the table.“Bad mix, that.”

“Sharman, honestly. Focus, please.”

“Sorry, sorry. Alright.”

I look at him expectantly.

“There’s one thing we haven’t really talked about— for the wedding.”

My stomach turns, as I try to think of what we could have missed. “What is it?”

“The, uh. Like, the physicality of it.”

I don’t say anything for a moment, the words slowly processing in my head through the fog of liquor.

“That sounds… very technical. Please elaborate.”

He runs a hand through his hair and I can’t tell if he’s nervous or exasperated. “Like kissing, holding hands— that sort of thing. I just thought, maybe it would be less awkward? To talk about this, uh, slightly inebriated... for you, I mean.”

“Uh huh, for me. I see.”

“Well,” I see the playfulness in his eyes. “You are the self-proclaimed nervous one.”

I bump my shoulder against his. “And I don’t kiss people for a living.”

“Mmm, I don’t think that’s my entire job, but,” he smirks, “lucky for you, I have had lots of practice.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

It’s quiet for a minute.

“Anyways, I was going to say — we should practice. Kissing, I mean. If the first time we kiss is in front of your family, that could be problematic. And extremely uncomfortable.”

I laugh, blushing, and blurt out the first thing I think of: “Oh, so you got me drunk not to talk about kissing me, but to actually kiss me.”

He shrugs, “I didn't want you to overthink it.”

“Mmmm,” I muse. “How thoughtful.”

He smiles at me. “Well,” he says, bringing up a hand as if he’s brushing hair behind my ear and keeping it there. “As your fake boyfriend, I have to be, don’t I?”

I smile, not saying anything. I feel him shift closer, and my heart starts pounding in my chest. “Can I kiss you now?” he whispers.

I nod, my heart still pounding.

He gently presses his soft lips to mine before pulling back for a second. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, my hand gently moving up his bicep as he leans back in. This time I follow his lead as our lips slowly move together. He kisses me more purposefully and my breath catches in my throat, my hand wandering to his chest. I feel his hand move to my hip, his fingers mindlessly reaching just under the hem of my shirt. His hand is cold, but his touch burns my skin and sends a shiver up my spine.

“C’mere,” he murmurs against my mouth, maneuvering me into his lap effortlessly. I don’t even have time to feel self-conscious about it because his hands, his huge, warm hands, are holding my face tenderly as he kisses me like I’m his prized possession.

His tongue glides along my bottom lip, subtly asking to be let in. Almost too eagerly, I open my mouth, and he hums low in his throat, deepening the kiss. While I don’t want to think about it, I force myself to remember that while this is something I’ve dreamed about, Daniel’s an actor— and he’s acting.

I savor the moment before we pull apart, both breathing heavily. Daniel’s eyes are still closed, his face flushed, lips a warm pink. I admire the freckles sprinkled on his cheeks and feel myself begin to blush furiously. I tuck my head into his neck as I feel one of his hands stroke my hair.

His voice is soft and slightly hoarse as he asks, “You alright?”

I nod, breathing him in deeply before pulling back to look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, are you?”

“Yeah,” he bites his lip. “I think… I think we have that down.”

I can’t help but laugh from nerves, and then he laughs too. Flustered, I smooth my hands over his shirt where it wrinkled when he placed me in his lap. I carefully get off of him, his hands falling to his sides as I resume my spot next to him on the couch. I already miss his warmth and I have no clue what to do with my hands now.

I can feel Daniel’s eyes on me, so I look back at him. His face is unreadable; I shoot him a reassuring smile, and after a moment he seems to snap back to reality and he smiles back at me.

I wonder how I’m supposed to go back to just being his friend when this is all over when I now know how it feels to be desired by him, wanted by him, even if it’s all just for show.

“So!” Daniel says, clapping his hand on his knees. “What time am I meeting you tomorrow? Or are you coming here first? Do you need me to pick you up?”

I laugh again. “We never decided! Do you want to carpool? Because we definitely can.”

“Yeah, let’s do that so I can control the music—”

“Excuse you—”

“Besides, we’re going to my stylist, so I know how to get there.”

“For your suit. I told you I can just get a dress at the mall —”

“But that’s unnecessary since we’re going to match, and we’re going to my stylist already. I already had Alicia grab a bunch of dresses for you to try.”

“Which are probably going to be approximately eight million dollars —”

“No. They aren’t. And if they are —”

“—If they are, I am going to buy a dress at the mall.”

“—Then either I can pay for part of it, or I can have her pull some other options —”

“You’re not going to pay for it, I’m serious —”

“—It’s not a big deal, Laur, you need to relax.”

“That’s annoying, don’t tell me to relax.”

“Okay, sorry…”

I sigh dramatically as I swipe my phone open to get an Uber home, and he bumps his shoulder into mine to get my attention.

“But seriously, what time?”

“What time did you tell Alicia we would be there?”

“2:30, I think?”

“Okay, then if we aren’t going to the mall first —” Daniel grins triumphantly. “— then do you want to grab me at like 1:45?”

“For you, I can do that.” he smirks as my phone chimes, alerting me that my ride is approaching.

I stand up to gather my things as Daniel follows me to the door.

“Lauren,” Daniel calls, lightly grabbing my wrist as I go to step out. I turn to face him only to be greeted by his lips on mine. As soon as they’re there, they’re gone.

Daniel keeps his face an inch from mine as he says, “You’re going to have to get used to that.” He smirks. “Text me when you get home safe.”

I shake my head. “See you tomorrow.” And this time, I catch him off guard, kissing him quickly before I turn around, walking out of his place to the sound of his laughter.

—-

I climb into the passenger seat of Daniel’s car, finding him snapping his gum, one hand on the steering wheel and sunglasses on. He looks good.

“Good morning LaurLaur,” he grins.

“Good morning to you too,” I laugh. “You’re in a good mood.”

He shrugs, pulling away from the curb. “Am I? Just pleased you’ve given up on going to the mall. It’s bloody awful over there.”

“Are you sure Alicia is okay with styling me? She’s not my stylist.”

He laughs, “Are you kidding? She was over the moon. Says styling me is boring, and girls are much more fun.”

“Ironic, since she’s your stylist. This seems so fancy for one wedding.”

I can’t see it, but I know he’s rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. “It’s really so much easier. Plus this way we’ll match, and be cute and shit.”

“Oh yeah, ‘cute and shit,’ that’s us.”

Daniel grins, reaching over to thread his fingers through mine. “Not yet, but it’s going to be, darling.”

My stomach dips at the nickname even though I know he’s just teasing me.

I roll my eyes and try not to blush, turning to look out the window, trying to ignore the way his thumb traces the back of my hand.

When we walk into Alicia’s studio, we’re surrounded by mirrors and good music.

Alicia lights up right away when she spots us.

“Well, well, well, look who it is. Daniel Sharman and his lovely mystery guest.”

I shoot Daniel a look and he rolls his eyes. Alicia must see the exchange because she laughs.

“I’m teasing, he told me you were coming. I just was starting to think I’d never see the day I got to style Sharman and a lady friend.”

“Alicia, I don’t pay you to embarrass me,” Daniel jokes, leaning in to give her a hug.

“Yeah, because I do that for free.” She winks at me.

“I’m Lauren, it’s nice to meet you,” I reach out to shake her hand, but she pulls me into a tight, warm hug.

“We’re huggers around here, especially since you’re letting me style you on this guy's dollar—”

“Oh no,” I interject, “I’ll be paying for all of my things—”

“No can do, chica, this guy’s already made me promise to send him the bill.”

I turn and glare at Daniel. “Daniel Sharman, you promised me—”

He waves me off. “It’s easier this way. Can we just worry about that later? Let’s see what Alicia put together for us, shall we?”

I cross my arms, vowing to get back to the subject once we’re back in the car, and turn back to Alicia, who’s walking us over to some racks and tables she has set up.

“Okay, well, Daniel didn’t really give me a lot of details as to what colors or styles you like, but he did show me your Instagram, so I got an idea of your coloring and made some guesses as to your sizes. You’re so pretty in person, by the way—”

“I, uh— thank you.” I stammer, unsure if it’s a compliment or a suggestion that I don’t photograph well.

“So I kind of compared your coloring with his, and I figured you guys could have either a blue moment, or we could have Daniel in grey and accent one of these other colors I pulled for you.”

I look over the table and see some green, some pink, and some purple.

“I have a bunch of styles too, not sure if you wanted sleeves, strapless… I figured you could try some on and we could go from there.”

“Okay,” I say, feeling slightly overwhelmed. “Thank you.”

“No problem, honey! Daniel, I obviously have suits for you to try, too. Let me go get those.”

She wanders away for a minute and I turn to Daniel. “This seems way more focused on me than you— also, still extremely annoyed about that paying-for-everything stunt you pulled.”

“I told you that guy fashion is boring, and really, you can just Venmo me after, it’s not a—”

We both hush as Alicia returns, wheeling out another rack with gray and navy blue suits on it.

“Alright, so Daniel, you know where the fitting room is if you want to look through these and take some options with you. Lauren, I’m just going to do some quick measurements on you if that’s okay, so I can narrow down your dress size.”

“Oh, um, sure.”

As Daniel leaves the room, Alicia leads me to a circular pedestal in front of a three tiered mirror. She takes out her measuring tape and takes a few different measurements, writing some things down on a notepad.

Once we finish, Alicia walks over to her table and the dress rack, reviewing her options. I stand there quietly watching her pick up dresses and fabric swatches, look at me, and either put them down or add them to an empty rack. Daniel comes waltzing back into the room in a light grey suit. It sits a little wide through his torso, and the sleeves are a little too long, but he still wears it well.

“Thoughts on this one, ladies?”

Alicia gives him a quick once over.

“I was hoping you’d like that one! The grey will be nice and cool for the summer, but I want to tailor it in some. Make it a bit more fitted.”

I smirk. “Make sure he has enough wiggle room to dance.”

Alicia laughs. “That I can absolutely do.”

Daniel looks at me expectantly.

I smile. “You look really good, D.”

He nods at me and smiles back.

“Have you tried any dresses on yet?”

“Not yet, Alicia was just pulling the ones she wants me to try.”

Daniel walks over to the table, looking at the pieces Alicia has hung up on the rack.

“These jewel tones are going to look lovely on you.”

“Oh, thank you.” I blush, not missing the slight elbow that Alicia gives Daniel. Alicia walks over to me, three dresses in hand.

“Why don’t you try these three on and we’ll go from there.”

She shows me over to a changing room and hangs up the dresses for me, telling me to come out and show them when I’m done.

I take a second to admire my options. The first dress I pick up is a deep ocean blue green in a soft, silky material. It dips down into a modest V in the front, with a flared skirt.

The second is a muted bubblegum pink, strapless and fitted in the bodice, with a thin tulle skirt that brushes the floor.

The last is a periwinkle with lavender undertones, and is a bit more flowy with ruched fabric coming over the shoulder and defining the bodice in a deeper V-neck — but still respectable for a family wedding. Alicia knows her stuff.

I decide to try the blue-green dress first, as I’m drawn to the color right away. It’s maybe the simplest of the options, but that’s what I like about it. I’m a bit surprised that it seems to fit so effortlessly. It seems like I’d be able to wear it all day, dance and not have to fidget too much. I smooth my hands over it and peek out of the dressing room, where Daniel and Alicia are waiting.

“Okay, option number one,” I announce.

“It might be one and done,” Alicia shakes her head. “That looks really gorgeous on you.”

“Beautiful,” Daniel chimes in from next to her.

I smile. “Thank you. I really like this one.”

“Try on the other two just for fun,” Alicia suggests, and I nod, heading back to try on the pink dress.

The chest on the pink dress is a little big on me for a strapless, but I hold it up as I head back out to show them.

Alicia narrows her eyes. “A little big in the bust… I could bring that in. I think it might look a little more prom-y on than I anticipated. We could take the skirt up, but I don’t know. I don’t like it as much as the first.”

Daniel hums from next to her, and I look at him expectantly.

“It’s up to you two, but I agree. That first dress is going to be tough to beat.”

We laugh and I head back in to try on the last dress. This one is extremely elegant, and I feel very glamorous. I like it much more than I thought that I would. I step out to show them, and Alicia whistles.

“Okay miss thing, where're you going? The red carpet?”

Daniel smirks and nods. “I really like that on you.”

“I like it more than I thought I would. It’s probably between this and the first one for me.”

Alicia nods. “I have more options, but since we have two we like, I don’t see the sense in complicating the decision more.”

“I’m going to need you guys to help me choose.”

Daniel looks at Alicia, who thinks for a moment before pulling her phone out of her pocket.

“Let me take a picture, and then can you put the first dress on again?”

“Sure.” I smile as she takes the picture, before quickly changing into the ocean-colored dress again. I twirl in front of them playfully while we deliberate.

Daniel speaks first. “I like this one. It’s just… you. You seem comfortable in it, and the color looks amazing on you.”

I blush and look at Alicia, who’s nodding in agreement. “I agree. The other one is very pretty— you look like a star, but I think for the wedding, this is the way to go.”

“I think so, too. This one is just… easy, but still pretty.” I turn to Daniel. “You didn’t try on the other suits— are you sold on the grey one?” He looks down, like he forgot he was wearing it. “Yeah, I think so, especially with your dress. I wouldn’t want to wear navy with it.”

“All very good points,” I nod.

Daniel turns to Alicia, who’s writing something down in her notebook. “Do you have ties or something that would match her dress?”

Alicia raises an eyebrow. “Going for the matching look, huh?”

Daniel looks at me, smirking. “Yeah, we have to be cute.”

I roll my eyes at him and Alicia snorts.

“I did pull some accessories for you, so let me look.”

Alicia wanders off in search of a tie and a pocket square and Daniel grins at me.

“This?” he gestures between us, still in our outfits. “Cute as shit.”

-------------

feedback welcome!

tagged; @rogershoe

#daniel sharman fanfiction #daniel sharman fanfic #daniel sharman fic #daniel sharman imagine #daniel sharman x oc #daniel sharman fluff #yellow lights

[companionjones]

Alex Needs You

Fandom: Hamilton

Pairings: Platonic!Maria Reynolds x Reader, Platonic!Hamilsquad x Reader, Alexander Hamilton x Reader, Past!Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens, Maria Reynolds x Lafayette.

Summary: Your college roommate, Maria Reynolds, wakes you up in the middle of the night to tell you that a boy you’re very close to is having a mental breakdown due to a schoolwork overload.

Warnings: College, panic attack due to schoolwork, cursing

Author’s Notes: -This is a college AU. -Don’t ask me why Maria and Lafayette are together. I don’t know. -I changed Lafayette name around for this because I learned that his first name is not Marquis, it is his title. Lafayette’s full name in this is Gilbert Marie-Joseph Lafayette. -I technically wrote Reader as a female in this, but I think the only proof of that is that Y/n and Maria share a female dorm room, and I think Lafayette refers to Reader as ‘M’dame.’ -The real founding fathers were horrible people (except for John Laurens and John Adams) who profited off slavery. This is not a fanfiction about them.

Please take some time to sign some BLM petitions! Remember not to give any money to change.org because the money would go to the website, not the cause.

*******

    King’s College was the most prestigious university in the state. You were lucky enough to be awarded the scholarship money you needed to afford an education at the college on top of being accepted.

    Speaking of your luckiness, you made several friends on your first day that you had managed to keep. Your fist friend at the university was your dormmate, Maria Reynolds. She introduced you to her boyfriend, Gilbert Marie-Joseph Lafayette, and Lafayette got you to meet his friends: John Laurens, Hercules Mulligan, and Alexander Hamilton. Laurens and Mulligan shared a dorm room, and Alex roomed with Lafayette. You’d been to both dorms plenty of times, but you practically lived in the latter.

    The reason was Alexander.

    He was good friends with everyone, but he barely hung out with anyone. The workaholic virtually never left his and Lafayette’s dorm room except to go to classes. Alex was completely dedicated to his education. On top of that, he was going for a duel-major in Law and Economics. You took pity on the bags under his eyes as soon as you saw them.

    You brought him food when he forgot to eat (which was almost everyday), you forced him to go to bed (which was definitely every night), and you even helped him through his break-up with his high school sweetheart: John Laurens. Needless to say, you and Alexander were the closest out of your new friends group.

    That was why Maria woke you up one night.

    “What is it?” you muttered groggily.

    She was clearly in distress when she told you, “Y/n, we gotta go to Laf’s and Alexander’s place right now.”

    “What?” you sat up a little in bed.

    Maria was putting on her shoes. “Laf just called me. John and Herc are already there. Alex is having some sort of a breakdown. He needs you.”

    Suddenly, you were out of bed. You got up so fast that your eyes did that thing where you went blind for a second. You asked thousands of questions about Alexander’s well-being, but Maria didn’t know much. All she could tell you was that Alex locked himself in his and Lafayette’s room. You and Maria set off to the boys’ dorm building at 2 in the morning.

    “C’est tout, I’m kicking the door in.” John and Hercules were backing out of the way of the Lafayette by the time you arrived on the scene.

    “Whoa! No, no. Stop that right now,” you ordered. “I’m not having you guys wreck school property, and something big like that will only stress out Alex more. Just...tell me what’s going on.”

    Lafayette explained, “I came back from being out with the boys, and I realized the door was locked. I called out to Alexander, but he said he’d be done in a moment and his work was almost done. He sounded like he was crying very hard. I tried to talk to him more, but he hasn’t said anything since. That was an hour ago.”

    “Okay,” you took a deep breath, and approached the door. “Alex? Hey, it’s Y/n. I, uh, I just need to know if you-if you hurt yourself.”

    Alex stuttered, “Yeah-Ye-Yes. Yes. I’m-I’m fine. I just need a little more time, okay? I-I just need to finish this essay for Washington.”

    Hercules was the first to voice his relief. “Oh, thank god. Y/n, I don’t know how you managed to do that. We haven’t been able to get Alex to talk since we got here.”

    “Maybe there’s too many people,” Maria deduced, “We’re probably overwhelming him. He always responds best to Y/n anyway. How about we just leave them alone for a bit?”

    The rest of the group agreed. When they started to leave, John stayed back for a moment.

    He began, “I just want to thank you, Y/n. I know Alex and I broke up before school started, but I still care about him a lot, you know? You being there for him means a lot to me.”

    “I know, John.” You affirmed, “I’ll take care of this.”

    John nodded, and went to follow the others.

    You walked back up to the door. “Alexander? The others are gone. Can I come in?”

    At first, there was silence on the other side of the door. Then, you heard his chair roll back from his desk. Footsteps approached the door. It opened to a tear-stained Alexander.

    Alex looked a mess. His dorm room wasn’t much different. There were crumpled papers everywhere It looked like he freaked out. That resulted in his blankets and pillows being whipped off his bed. His phone and laptop had been thrown to the floor and their screens had been shattered. Alex was currently working off of Lafayette’s laptop.

    He noticed that you were looking around the room as you entered. “I’m sorry. Half of my fucking essay got deleted, and...and I...lost it, I guess? I locked the door because I didn’t want Laf to see what I did...I was going to let him in once I got a chance to clean up a little, but I-I have to finish this essay.” It was like he just reminded himself, and Alex sat down to get back to work.

    “Alex.” You put your hands over his and intertwined his and your fingers. “Take a break,” you urged him.

    His eyes hadn’t left the screen of the laptop.

    “I’ll email Professor Washington, and ask for an extension for you. I’m sure you’ll get it.”

    Alex was still unresponsive. He’d moved his gaze to your connected hands. They were in his lap, and you were kneeling in front of him.

    “Alexander, please,” you begged for his attention.

    Finally, Alex met your eyes. He nodded.

    “Good.” You couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of his eyes again. “Now, I’ll help you clean up in here. We can get you a new laptop, and the phone’s fixable. Then, maybe you can talk to the guys and Maria. Show them you’re alright, maybe?”

    He looked back down at your hands again. “I don’t want them to see me like this. It’s bad enough having you all come out in the middle of the night just to check on me.”

    “We came here because we care about you, Alexander. It scares us when you work yourself to the bone like this. Well, I know it scares me--”

    Alex’s eyes snapped up to yours. “I scare you?”

    “Well, you worry me, yeah,” you confirmed. “Why do you think I’m here everyday, checking in on you. It’s because I care--”

    No warning taking place beforehand, Alexander kissed you. The sudden impact made you realize the two of you had been building up to it for a long time. You stood up to better kiss him. Alexander followed you. You could’ve sworn you hadn’t been making out for that long, but when you broke the kiss, both you and Hamilton were breathless. He had his hands on your waist while yours were softly cupping his neck.

    “You’re in a really emotional place tonight, Alex,” you voiced the first reason that came to mind that Alexander possibly hadn’t meant what he had just done.

    Alexander immediately disagreed, “No. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. I’ve loved you for a long time.”

    Not knowing if Maria had actually woken you up that night in the first place or if you were instead dreaming then, you shakily nodded, “Okay. This Friday, at 8, let’s go out to dinner. But let’s not discuss this anymore tonight. You need sleep.”

    Fifteen minutes later, the dorm room was clean as it was going to get at 3am, and the shattered electronics were tucked under Alexander’s bed. Professor Washington was for some reason awake at that ungodly hour, and he had already responded to your email, agreeing to give Alexander a three-week extension.

    “Thank you, Y/n. Really.” Alex leaned on his doorframe while you were on your way out. He was holding your hand. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

    Softly smiling, you leaned in to give Alex another kiss. “You can call me, anytime, anywhere, and I’ll come right to you,” you whispered.

    “Oooo,” a harmony of teasing voices sounded from down the hallway. It was the rest of the gang.

    Laurens called, “I knew it! I knew you two were going to get together!”

    Hercules seemed serious when he informed, “I want to be the flower guy at y’all’s wedding. You hear me?”

    “Oh my god!” squealed Maria, “Now you, me, Alex, and Laf can go on double dates!”

    You helped everyone else away from Alexander and Lafayette’s door. “Okay, yes, me and Alex are...together now. But this is all stuff we can talk about tomorrow. Alex needs to sleep. We all need sleep. You hear that, Laf? That means no pestering Alex about him and me. Understand?”

    He gave a mock-salute. “Oui, M’dame.”

    “That goes for you, too.” You turned to Maria. “I’m going to bed as soon as we get back.”

    Maria raised her eyebrows at you. “Not a chance. I’m getting every detail out of you!” she proclaimed as she dragged you back to your dorm.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! If you would like to read more, I have more fics on Hamilton over on my page. You should go check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

#hamilton #hamilton x reader #alexander hamilton #alexander hamilton x reader #maria reynolds #maria reynolds x lafayette #lafayette #jasmine cephas jones #daveed diggs #broadway #lin-manuel miranda #lin manuel miranda #alex needs you #companion jones #boy did i miss hamilton college aus

[youremyonlyhope]

Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that!  “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.”  The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!”  Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and  the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!”  The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.”  So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

#hope rewatches starkid #guys i'm not kidding it's 5000+ words i wrote a lot i commented on basically every single second of this 3 hour musical

[norminahs-child]

Little Monster (Norminah Adoption Story)

Draft from my Wattpad😅

Dinah giggles, "I'm not. I'm just wondering how I got so lucky to have you." She says, wrapping her arms around Normani's waist and pulling her closer before cuddling into her side. Normani looks at Dinah, "I beg to differ. If anything, I'm the lucky one. You're so amazing..." She mumbles before placing a soft peck on Dinah's lips. Pretty soon, the door busts open, "WAKE UP! ALLY MADE BREAKFAST!" Camila shouts loudly. Normani smile slightly while shaking her head, "We'll be down in a bit, Camila." She says. Camila groans, "Really, Mani?! I told you to call me Mila! When you say my name, it sounds so... Proper." She says with a shudder making Dinah snicker slightly.

Normani sits up with Dinah still holding onto her and tilts her head, "Is that a bad thing?" She asks. Camila shakes her head, "Nope. Just weird." She says. Normani feigned hurt, "Good to know, Mila." She says. Dinah laughs, "We'll be down, Chancho. Tell Ally to make our plates." She says. Camila sends a thumbs up before walking out and closing the door.

Normani shakes her head and stands up, "I don't understand how you deal with her. She's a very nice girl... But, how do you deal with her?" She asks, trying not to sound rude. Dinah laughs, "Baby, chill. She's my best friend. Yeah, she's a little unbearable, but I wouldn't trade her for no one else. Plus, you know she looks up to you." She says, subtly admiring the dark skin beauty that was in nothing but her (Dinah's) shirt, which was a little big on her, and her undergarments.

Normani looks back at Dinah, "I don't understand why. We're about the same height." She says. Dinah rolls her hazel like gold eyes, "You know what I mean, princess." She says, jokingly using the nickname Normani hated. Normani shakes her head, "Still, Dinah Jane. I don't understand. She's a bit of a mystery for a girl so... Bubbly." She says, unsure of what word to use. Dinah slowly stands up and walks to their shared closet, "That she is. We've been best friends since we were little supernaturals and she's still a mystery to me." She says from the closet.

Normani hums, "Interesting..." She mumbles before walking to where Dinah is and wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist, placing her chin on her shoulder, "Are you going to let me braid your hair again?" Normani asks making Dinah freeze and look back at her, "This is not up for debate, is it?" She asks. Normani shakes her head making Dinah curse under her breath.

After the duo got dressed, they made their way downstairs. Lauren was knocked out with her head on the table, "You didn't get enough sleep, Ralph?" Dinah asks softly. The older female shakes her head sleepily. Being the affectionate person she was, Dinah gently kisses Lauren's head making her sigh softly. Normani smiles softly, "After breakfast, I'm doing your hair." She says making Dinah groan. Camila snickers, "I swear to go-" Ally glares at Camila from the kitchen, "Bananas! I swear when you do Dinah's hair, it sounds like you two are having sex. Like, does getting your hair done hurt that bad?!" She asks. Dinah turns red, "Yea, it does!" She defends. Normani shrugs, "She's way louder when we're having sex." She says making Lauren groan, "Too much information, Manz!" She exclaims as Dinah looked away with a deep red blush. Ally raises an eyebrow, "I guess that sound proof spell and the lock spell came in handy, huh?" She asks, walking out of the kitchen with plates floating above her head.

Ally had on a sports bra and cargo pants. Dinah just buries her face in her hand with a groan, "Can we not?" She asks. Camila just tries to reach for her plate with a pout as Ally kept moving it from her, "Anyways, eat up, children." Ally says while putting their plates down. Dinah and Camila squealed befoee digging in. Normani smiles softly, "Thank you, Allyson." She says greatfully. Ally returns the smile, "No problem, Normani." She responds before sitting down herself.

After the group of five finished eating, Lauren, Ally, and Camila had to endure an hour and a half of Dinah screaming and crying because her head hurts, "DAMN IT, DINAH! IT DOES NOT HURT THAT BAD, BE QUIET!" Normani snaps. Dinah glares up at Normani through tearfilled eyes, "YES IT DOES, ASSHOLE! YOU KNOW I'M SENSITIVE!" She shouts back. They continued shouting at each other as the other three laughed loudly at the duo. It was unusual to see Normani shouting or showing any type of emotion, so they were enjoying it.

After Normani was done with Dinah's hair, Dinah held a mean ass glare towards the neutral shorter girl. Normani stands up and walks over to the obviously butt hurt Dinah, grips her by her neck and places a soft, passionate kiss on her lips. Just like that, all Dinah's anger and pain disappeared in an instant. Dinah didn't know if it was because of Normani's powers or Dinah's overwhelming love for her to stay mad. Normani broke away from the kiss, "Feel a little better?" She asks, her eyes glowing red. Dinah's eyes glowed gold, "Y-Yes..." She says.

Ally awwed while Lauren and Camila gagged, "Anyway, Cheechee, you're hair looks amazing!" Camila exclaims,

Lauren nods, "Yeah! Braids look good on you girl!" She says. Normani smiles softly, "Call me a miracle worker because I swear on everything evil, I was about to hurt Dinah." She growls playfully making everyone laugh. Dinah leans her head on Normani's shoulder, "Um, Normani." Dinah says. Normani got an instant red flag. Dinah doesn't really call her by her first name unless something was wrong or if she needed to get something off of her chest.

Normani kisses her forehead, "What's wrong, my love?" She asks. Dinah stands up and gently drags her by the stairs leading to the second floor. Dinah sits down on the second step with a nervous look. Normani started to get a little worried. Dinah's whole aura was a blueish color which meant she was scared. Dinah's normal aura was white, "What's wrong?" Normani asks while sitting down beside her wife of 3 years.

Dinah nervously looks around, "Baby I... I love you, and you know this..." She starts making Normani sweat slightly, Oh god, is she trying to divorce me? Was all that ran through Normani's head. As if Dinah read her thoughts, she reaches over and squeezes Normani's hand, giving her a sweet kiss, "It's nothing bad, Mani. I promise." Dinah reassures, easing Normani's nerves slightly. Dinah lets out a shaky sigh, "Mani, I want a child." She says making Normani's eyes widen, "Um, DJ... Do you not know that we are both women?" She asks, clearly stating the obvious.

Dinah lets out a breathy chuckle, "I know, Mani... I want to adopt. I want to adopt with you. I want us to have a family, Normani. Yeah, Camila, Lauren, and Ally are our family, but I want a daughter." She says. Normani was unsure. It's not like she didn't want to expand her family with Dinah, she just wasn't sure about a kid, "I-I don't know, Dinah." Normani says, almost instantly regreting what she said as she saw the heartbreak in Dinah's eyes, "Wh-Why, Normani? D-Do you n-not want a f-family with me?" She stutters out, her voice cracking badly.

Normani shakes her head, "That's not it... It's just I... I don't know, what if I'm not a good mom? What if I turn out like my parents?" She asks. Dinah cups Normani's cheek, "Look at me... You won't turn out like your parents. They left you, they abused you. You're nothing like them. You'll be an amazing mom... We'll be amazing moms with Lauren, Camila, and Ally being amazing aunties. Give it a chance, baby..." Dinah begs. Normani stares into Dinah's hazel eyes, "I... Okay. I'll give it a try..." She says softly making Dinah smile.

End Chapter~

#wattpad #norminah #fifth harmony #gxglesbianlgbt #gxg imagine #supernatural #saved in my drafts

[ziracona]

no to talk me i angy - my take on the last film. GOD. GOD. FUCKING. DAMN. JILL YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKER. Also she was probs the scariest of the four even without the family revelation purely because of how much damage she did even as one person, not in just the "body count" sense but the just. lasting impact. Like. Girl killed her OWN MOTHER. I was hoping Sid got to do a verbal beatdown on her too. but DAMN. DAMN. "Don't mess with the original" (did i misquote that? if so :( ) also. DEWEY WTH?- (1)

Oh for sure! Jill is the most evil and also most scary Ghostface, hands down. I think every other Ghostface had like, someone they wouldn’t kill probably. Parents. Kid. But Jill!? She kills her own mom for no reason, and she wasn’t even mad/on bad terms with her. Like my god, two minutes before she’s killed by Jill, her mom is terrified at the thought Jill is in danger and runs to help Sidney go save her. What the fuck. And it’s “Don’t fuck with the original,” I believe, but that’s the exact same message ; )

Yes!!! Gale is goddess—she is the one who figures it out. Bless Dewey too though. God, his face finding Sid. TuT I cry. And the scene where he quotes her book to her and she’s so surprised but he read it and like, read it for real, enough to know direct quotes and a page? 😭😭😭😭 Big brother Dewey. And Gale is so happy for her and they all love each other. TuT I adore them. And the otp stayed together between 3 and 4 HELL yes!!

And GOD. Sid is a beast!!! If someone said “Who are you, Michael fucking Myers?” To me I would be like “Bless. ☺️ the ultimate durability compliment”. Yeah, I wish she had gotten even more chewing out, but I think it’s because Jill had nothing left human inside to listen. Not to say something supportive of Roman, bc he’s a piece of shit like every Ghostface, but when she does her “Do you know why you kill people?! Do you??!” He starts shouting “I don’t want to hear it!” And getting distressed, and you can clearly see he knows she’s right on his face when she says her “Becuase you choose to! There is no one else to blame! Why don’t you take some fucking responsibility!” Whereas after Charlie, Sidney says “Even your friends?” all distraught to Jill, and without missing a beat or blinking even Jill goes “Friends? I don’t need friends! I need fans!” There’s just nothing left in her to lecture. She hit 0% humanity left. Which is what will happen eventually if you commit atrocities for fun over and over again and choose to stop viewing people other than yourself as anything but objects.

Yess!!! My girl Sid so beautiful in that red dress, smiling at the book display for her hard work!! 😭😭😭 I love Scream 4 Sidney so much. She’s such a mama bear trying to protect everyone else. Runs to Olivia’s alone while Ghostface is there to try and save her, sacrifices herself to give Jill a chance to be safe. TuT Protects Kirby.

Oh, 100%. You know what they say. No on-screen cadaver, death scene don’t matter. Unless I see her rigid corpse in a morgue, you can’t convince me they didn’t find her unconscious but hanging on in the back yard. It was a stomach stab. You can survive that. Plus, Dewey didn’t mention Sidney was alive until Jill brought her up, so there’s no proof he would just mention Kirby being alive if she was. I loved her and god, the scene where she’s crying and throwing every horror title with a sequel she can think of desperately back to back to back trying to save Charlie and breaking down? Holy fuck—one of the best scenes in the franchise Miss Panettiere did not have to go so hard but she did. And for real! What the fuck! Charlie is such a shitbag! Even if you’re a worthless fuckboy, she liked you! What the fuck! Because it was ‘too late?’ What the fuck! And he kills his best friend too, and Jill kills both hers. She goes from watching Shaun of the Dead with her best friend who is keeping her company to help her feel safe, to discarding her corpse for no fucking reason. Ghostfaces tend to be just the world’s most worthless shitbags, don’t they? Disgusting. *Lauren Winters voice* “I feel nothing for you, nothing! But contempt.”

Wait I might have that screenshot saved hang on.

Fuck Ghostface all my homies hate Ghostface. But at least the tri is intact TuT — and Kirby, pry her only mostly dead body from my cold dead fingers. I can’t tell if this was a positive or negative reaction overall but I hope you liked it. 🤣 And bless—thanks for the live updates!

#spoilers #ask #sleepy #scream #scream 4 #scream 2 #scream 3 #scream spoilers #mega spoilers

[wemariuniverse]

Hello! Speculating/responding to your posts about LS, MM Anon, et al. Don’t know about others, but I believe LS was trying to help. However, I believe LS was manipulated into passing on info to bloggers that wasn’t necessarily “the whole the truth.” That’s why LS went away when she found out she was being used. I believe the BRF via PH are being “blackmailed” - somewhat - due to PH signing an NDA with MM. That’s why MM had cameras at TIG Sept 2017, along with her witnesses. MM/PH/BRF (1/7)

MM changed the terms of NDA and PH agreed to the changes on [hidden] camera with witnesses. Remember, Lauren Foster knows who the backers are b/c they approached her [Lauren] first; BRF can find out from Lauren if they wanted to but, no need, b/c BRF are the backers. Maybe PC was the one who wanted to play the trick on PH and get him married since PH said he was ready to find a wife (TIG 2017). PH had met MM before 2016; they “reconnected” at Cory’s dinner for PH/TIG on 5/2/2016. MM/PH/BRF 2/7

Let’s consider that Lauren Foster was on Tumblr/Twitter telling her story before the wedding, would you have let your child/grandson [PH] marry MM (knowing that an unknown element was trying to set up PH)? They didn’t need to find out “the who” since they knew it was them/the BRF. Problem is that since TIG 2017 MM has been continually “amending” the NDA (moving the goalpost) and PH/BRF can’t seem to stop her. MM/PH/BRF (3/7)

In NDA, you also can’t libel other party and that applies to your relatives, friends, employees, assigns, successors, members, (etc) [you get the drift] … from the beginning of time through the end of eternity! That last part is usually put in and desperate-to-close-the-deal parties will sign to get the deal done. So PH/BRF can’t talk. MM not following Royal Protocol? They can’t call her out. Obvious fake pregnancy? They can’t talk. Private home birth? They can’t call her out. MM/PH/BRF (4/7)

Next up: private Royal Christening of non-existent baby — and this private Royal Christening will probably happen and PH/BRF can’t talk since talking would be accusing MM which would probably be made to look like libel. MM will probably (out-of-the-blue) decide the baby should be a girl and, lo and behold, Archie will now become Annie. LOL Or, soon MM will announce she is pregnant again! MM has PH/BRF over a barrel, holds the keys to the kingdom. MM/PH/BRF (5/7)

Social Media/the Press has to out/oust MM. PH/BRF can’t do it. The waiting and doing nothing won’t work. Waiting is playing right into MM’s hands. MM wants everyone to do nothing while she makes money hand over fist, while she gives the finger to PH/BRF. PS: Recent Press about PH/Chelsy is MM’s PR setting up PH for adultery in divorce settlement. MM/PH/BRF (6/7)

So if MM has “PH adultery” and a Royal Baby, MM will name her price (I don’t think she will stop at £37 million, the sky will be the limit for her then). And they still won’t be rid of her because she will always be mother to a Royal Baby. And this nonsense will keep her in the Press forever. PH/BRF obviously can’t oust MM; they would have provided DNA and proof of no hospital birth. Dear Lord, they had her at “YOU FAKED YOUR PREGNANCY! MM/PH/BRF (7/7)

MM/PH/BRF (Supplemental): I hope you will read and consider what I have written. It's the only way, to me, any of this makes sense - that the BRF are "the backers." Furthermore, it would be fitting for someone like MM with her love of PR/Press to be ousted by Social Media/The Press. Justice is Justice. Karma is Karma. Thank you for your blog.

MM/PH/BRF (Supplemental PS): MM/PH NDA was for an engagement only (then cancel/call off), but in typical MM-dishonest-sneaky-manner she changed “the game” and decided she wanted a Royal Wedding - and we all know the rest.

Dear anon, first I’d like to thank you for sending your opinion about this circus. I understand each one of us has a different view and I hugely appreciate our respectful discussions. 

I can say some time ago I used to have the same opinion. I couldn’t imagine a Prince of the United Kingdom would fall in love and choose such a wrong partner “for the job”. But then we saw a wedding, the first tour and along with it a pregnancy announcement, then the birth of a child (which I don’t believe it’s a doll). Now, when I look at Harry’s shady past - given all we know about his personality - I have no doubt he married her because he wanted to. Which seems more plausible: a huge plan from the BRF to teach Harry a lesson (WHICH THEY HAVE NEVER DONE!) or a stupid/naive prince taking the wrong decisions?  He was desperate to get married - it’s no secret he proposed to at least 2 ex girlfriends. She sold herself as the most prepared woman for the job - he bought it and the rest is history.

I just can’t imagine a situation where a z lister has power to change a NDA  and the most powerful family on the planet has to stick to it. If she has such power, so do they. They could finish her, they just don’t because she’ a member of the family (a hated one, but yet one of them). 

Now, I agree with you concerning the divorce, she’ll definitely set up for adultery. And yes, they’ll never get rid of her. As I’ve been saying for quite a long time: the sh!t was done May last year. They are doomed. They are paying a very high price for protecting him his entire life. The lesson needs to be learned (and here I refer to the family, Harry himself and his supporters. He’s no angel). 

Thank you once more for your asks. Wishing you a lovely week ❤️

[star-killer89]

MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC: THE LAST PROBLEM *OPINIONS*

Daaaang, I can’t believe this is it.

After 9 years it came to an end...and so close to the actual Anniversary date too (from 10/10/2010 to 12/10/2019). If they wanted to do something special, they could have waited to conclude the series with a new season next year, since 10/10/2020 will be a Saturday, AND it will be the end on Season 10 on 10/10 after precisely 10 years! (10-ception!).

But, all in all, maybe it’s for the best, considering a lot of people, myself included, found that the last 2 to (someone even) 4 Seasons had started to fade both in quality and entertainment, so it might be better to stop here instead of keep beating a dead horse pony.

So, for the last time for this series, here’s my opinions:

I’ll start by saying I usually love time-skip final epiosdes/chapters, since I’m always pondering ‘Ok, but what happened to everyone once they defeated the final baddie(s) and went on with their lives?’

Which, unfortunately, it’s what many hate instead, since it sometimes limits the imagination of people who created their own stories set in the future for some characters or even makes canon things they might not like (especially when it comes to ships....more below).

To be honest, having Twilight transfer to Canterlot to rule over Equestria seemed really unecessary. I might understand if she still lived in the old Golden Oak Library (press F to pay your respect), but she already had a Castle she lived in Ponyville, with the seats for everyone of the other Mane6+Spike surrounding the Friendship Map from which they could rule as (almost) equals:

So why the hell did she need to move to Canterlot? Especially since we were proved time and again the Royal Guards are useful as much as the former Princesses of the Sun and Moon when it comes to protect anyone from threats!

Sad to say, unfortunately it was just a plot device to teach the lesson that ‘No matter if friends go on their separate ways, if they have a strong deep friendship, they will never grow apart’, which is good and all, but it still logically makes no sense.

One good thing though was seeing in both Canterlot and Ponyville different creatures starting to spread beyond their realms (Integration of different cultures for the win!) and that they could also apply for positions formerly given to just ponies, like Gallus having entered the Royal Guard or Yona and Sandbar taking care of Carousel Boutique, although I was a little disappointed to see that the Wonderbolts were still formed just by pegasi. How cool would have been to see Changelings, Hyppogriffs, Griffons and Dragons integrated in their ranks (damn elitist winged pony assholes)?

Speaking of Yona and Sandbar, as I said this is also the thing some people hate about time-skips: ships becoming canon or, more specifically, seeing their ship being canonically sunk.

Aside from Lyra and BonBon proposing in the last pre-ending episode and seeing them getting married on a newspaper in this episode (which I belive didn’t really upset anyone in the fandom), the other ships were really something else as for ‘dividing the fandom’.

From the episode alone, we might say that the official couples in the time-skip are:

Lyra and BonBon (as I said, made canon in the newspaper Twilight was reading while packing to move);

Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich (married and with AT LEAST 4 kids, considering Little Cheese had with her Boneless 6, since Cheese gave Boneless 1 to Pinkie which later turned into one of the keys to open the chest that contained the Tree of Harmony and he got Boneless 2);

Rainbow Dash and AppleJack (not confirmed, but very much implied with their whole discussion as they entered the room with Twilight and Spike);

Discord and Fluttershy (again, not really confirmed, but highly implied/possible);

Yona and Sandbar (once again, highly implied but never 100% confirmed, but I wouldn’t mind if they ended up together).

So, yeah.....loooooot’s of ships being sunk in the last 7 minutes of the show, with those from 3 to 5 being the most dividing ones (I myself also find odd the choice of having AJ possibly paired with RD, considered in the last few Seasons the show seemed to hint more towards a possible RariJack scenario, like the writers of Equestria Daily also seems to have embraced).

All in all, it is what it is and aside from the first two which are pretty much 100% canon, I still believe the fans may very well take those other pairings as not-couples and keep shipping the other Mane 6 with whoever they want.

As for Luster Dawn (BTW, what the hell is with Royalties and choosing to have their protégé having a name related to a portion of the day?), I found it quite clever to have her not wanting to spend time in making friends and Twilight deciding to send her to Ponyville to see the error in her reasoning:

And we also saw in the final song of the show the only indication that maybe, MAYBE the main show was connected to Equestria Gils (where so far we were only given proofs that the other way around was true, that the universe of Equestria Daily was connectied to the main show):

 Final Verdict: 8/10. A good way to say goodbye to the show.

Well, what can I say as my final thoughts? It was a wild ride in these last 8 years (since I caught up with Season 1 a few days before Season 2 started to air), with a lot of artists I discovered thanks to this show and even a small group of friends I made along the way. Some lost interest in the show or stopped to create new material for the fandom, but most of them I kept following and kept in touch with up to today, because this really is the Magic of Friendship, so I’d like to make some thanks. To Lauren Faust and the whole team of many MANY writers who created the show and kept going on even when Lauren decided to take a different way after Season 2. Thanks to Tara Strong, Andrea Libman, Ashleigh Ball, Tabitha St. Germain, Cathy Weseluck, Kelly Sheridan, John de Lancie and all the other voice actors/actresses and singers who gave their voice to our protagonists. Thanks to Hasbro, DHX Media, The Hub and Discovery Family for sharing this generation with us all. And a BIG thanks to the fandom. Whitout us, the show wouldn’t have reached this levels and wouldn’t have gone so far.

And, remember, as long as people will keep creating material with these characters, the fandom of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic will never really die!

Let’s see what Generation 5 will bring us, and as always: PONY UP!

#My Little Pony #Friendship is Magic #The Last Problem #Season 9 #Series Finale #spoiler #spoilers #Twilight Sparkle #Pinkie Pie #Rarity #Fluttershy #Rainbow Dash #AppleJack #Spike

[hella-slow-writer]

Fic update

Okay, i finally have time and motivation to continue working on 3 of my most important fics. It’s too gay to be fucked 3, Garrett/Andrew PWP (yes pwp cuz im nasty), and a big multi-chapter YT FGO AU that no one cares about lmao.

It’s gonna get fucked 3 is 70% done, still fixing some last part of the chapter before i send it back to my friends to be beta-ed. 

Garrett/Andrew PWP is sadly still 20% WIP, mainly because lack of... motivation. Hopefully Shane’s new series contains more Garrett/Andrew interactions to boost my motivation to continue it lmao.

YT FGO AU still... 10%. I still haven’t decided if i want to make it some slice-of-life genre where its about the YT Servants interacting with each other or more serious story with heavy plot (kinda like a fusion between FGO’s Lostbelt+Singularity arcs). Although i already have a long list of Youtubers who i will use in the fics (all bbs boys will be featured ofc). More talk about this AU under Read More.

Okay, now yall know. I just want to give a little bit of update since i keep gaining more and more followers and i dont want to give an impression of this blog being abandoned. Wish me luck and thanks for still sticking around waiting for my not-so-good writings lol.

Oh, hey! If you read this, oh god do you actually care or show interest in this AU???? Hit me up boi and lemme know so i wouldnt be so depressed thinking no one would read this shitty AU lmao.

Current list of Servants who would appear in the first arc/chapter is: Vanoss, Laurenzside, and Moo Snuckel. I think maybe those three will be like FGO’s Mashu, who will stick around until the end of time lmao. Other than those three, there’s Ohmwrecker, Gloomgames, Kubz Scouts, Cartoonz, and Garrett Watts who also played major part in the first arc/chapter. I will also possibly adding Andrew Siwicki and Jacksepticeye, although i still haven’t deciding what their role going to be.

Oh yeah, Daithi de Nogla and Mini Ladd will also appear. Although they are not Servants like the other, their role is going to be a normal human who manages Chaldea (kinda like Romani Archaman and Da Vinci lmao).

Below is kinda like in-game stats of the 8 servants featured first. I do this so i will remember what skill and class they have, and also because creating a stats of them is really fun lmao. I wont show what their NP gonna be though, because it’s a secret winkwink

Vanoss aka Bat Owl, Evan Rarity: SSR Saber Cost: 16 ATK: 1.841/11,755 HP: 1,695/11,554 Grail ATK: 13,112 Grail HP: 12,768 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: Linear Star Absorption: 86 Star Generation: 10 % NP Charge ATK: 0.82% NP Charge DEF: 4% Death Rate: 19.4% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQABB (Quick: 2 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 4 Hits) Skills:  - Charisma C Increase party's ATK for 3 turns. - Disengage A Remove own debuffs. Recovers own HP. - Superhero Strength A Charges NP gauge. Increases own NP strength. Noble Phantasm: ??? 

Moo aka Moo Snuckel, Brock, Early Bird Rarity: SR Rider Cost: 12 ATK: 1,259/8,084 HP: 1,573/11,160 Grail ATK: 10,325 Grail HP: 13,882 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 195 Star Generation: 8% NP Charge ATK: 1.4% NP Charge DEF: 5% Death Rate: 26.90% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQABB (Quick: 2 Hits. Arts: 1 Hit, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Feather Illusion C+ Chance to stun one enemy. Reduces NP strength.   - Sharpening A+ Increases own Buster and Quick performances for 3 turns. - Superhero Strength B Charges own NP gauge. Increases own NP strength. Noble Phantasm:  ???

Lauren aka Laurenzside, Protector of Universe, Cosmic Deity Rarity: R Caster Cost: 7 ATK: 1,128/7,215 HP: 1,236/8,600 Grail ATK: 8,657 Grail HP: 11,055 Attribute: Sky Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 84 Star Generation: 11% NP Charge ATK: 1.80% NP Charge DEF: 5% Death Rate: 38.7% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Female Commands Cards: QAAAB (Quick: 3 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Cosmic Blessing A Grants one ally's invicibility for 1 turn. Charges their NP gauge. - Clairvoyance (Demi-God) Increases own Critical star drop rate. - Lunar Light B Recovers party's HP. Remove own Debuffs. Noble Phantasm: ???

Kassie aka Gloom Rarity: R Alter Ego Cost: 7 ATK: 1,177/7,113 HP: 1,650/9,421 Grail ATK: 9,818 Grail HP: 12,812 Attribute: Man Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 100 Star Generation: 10% NP Charge ATK: 0.43% NP Charge DEF: 4% Death Rate: 36.4% Alignments: True・Neutral Gender: Female Commands Cards: QQAAB (Quick: 2 Hits, Arts: 1 Hit, Buster: 2 Hits, Extra: 4 Hits)  Skills: - Samantha Increases own Buster performances for 3 turns. Chances to inflict Charm on [Male] enemy. Cancel other skill's effects.  - Hannah Increases own Quick performances for 3 turns. Gains critical stars generation every turn for 3 turns. Cancel other skill's effects. - Vera Increases own Arts performances for 3 turns. Recover own NP every turn for 3 turns. Cancel other skill's effects.  Noble Phantasm: ???

Jay aka Kubz Scouts Rarity: R Assassin Cost: 7 ATK: 1,288/7,062 HP: 1,571/8,662 Grail ATK: 9,633 Grail HP: 11,990 Attribute: Man  Growth Curve: Reverse S Star Absorption: 102 Star Generation: 20.4% NP Charge ATK: 0.24% NP Charge DEF: 4.12% Death Rate: 28.7% Alignments: Chaotic・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQQAB (Quick: 4 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Planning B+ Increases own critical star generation rate for 3 turns. - Threaten C+ Chance to reduce enemy's NP by 1 Reduces ATK for 3 turns. - Presence Detection C Chances to removes their Evasion buffs. Grants self Evasion for 1 turn.

Ohm aka Ryan, Ohmwrecker, The Red Demon Right-Hand Rarity: R Saber Cost: 7 ATK: 1,232/8,012 HP: 1,388/8,063 Grail ATK: 10,455 Grail HP: 12,550 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 90 Star Generation: 10.5% NP Charge ATK: 1.33% NP Charge DEF: 3.12 % Death Rate: 30.2% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAABB (Quick: 3 Hits, Arts: 3 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 4 Hits) Skills: - Battle Continuation A Grants self Guts status for 1 time, 5 turns. - Proof of Friendship C Chance to reduces one enemy's NP gauge by 1. Chance to inflicts Stun for 1 turn. - Teamwork C Increases party's Arts performance for 1 turn. Increases party's NP Strength for 1 turn. Noble Phantasm: ???

Cartoonz aka Luke, The Red Demon Rarity: SR Rider Cost: 12 ATK:  1,612/9,447 HP: 1,673/11,076 Grail ATK:  11,018 Grail HP: 12,667 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: Semi S Star Absorption: 165 Star Generation: 10% NP Charge ATK: 1.18% NP Charge DEF: 2.77 % Death Rate: 30.2% Alignments: True・Neutral  Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAABB (Quick: 4 Hits, Arts: 1 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 6 Hits) Skills: - Pirate’s Honor B+ Increases own attack for 3 turns. Grants self Guts status for 1 time. (Revives with 1 HP.) Reduces own debuff resistance by 50% for 3 turns. [Demerit] - Voyager of the Storm A Increases party's NP damage for 1 turn. Increases party's attack for 1 turn. - Demon of the Sea EX Increases own Buster performances. Increases critical strength for 3 turns. Gains self-Invisibility for 1 attack. Reduces own defense [Demerit] Noble Phantasm: ???

Garrett aka Accused Wizard, Eternal Mage, King of Badger Rarity: R Caster Cost: 7 ATK: 1,312/7,556 HP: 1,752/8,272 Grail ATK: 10,126 Grail HP: 10,885 Attribute: Man Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 48 Star Generation: 11.4% NP Charge ATK: 1.43% NP Charge DEF: 3% Death Rate: 36.2% Alignments: Chaotic・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAAAB (Quick: 2 Hit, Arts: 3 Hit, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 5 Hits) Skills: - Jokester B+ Chance to reduce one enemy's NP gauge by 1. Charges own NP gauge. - Immortality (False) Gains self-Guts status for 1 time, 3 turns. - Spellcraft A+  Increases own Arts performance for 3 turns.  Noble Phantasm: ???

Okay, there you go. Some of the stats are from FGO’s servants lol and if it looks too OP for you fgo players, dont sweat it. The stats doesnt really matter in the story so lol.

Those are the characters that will appear on the first arc minus Nogla and Mini. Since i haven’t really decided to put Andrew and Jack, i won’t show their stats here but their class will be Lancer (or Caster, haven’t really decided it either) and Saber, respectively 

P.S: There will be ships, it won’t be the focus of the story if i use the heavy/more serious plot but there will be :P

Again, thank you for your attention and hopefully i can finish all this soon enough.

#rambles #fic update #my writing #cartoonz #laurenzside #garrett #vanoss #moo #ohmwrecker #gloomgames #kubz scouts #fgo au

[aswithasunbeam]

An Elusive Peace, Chapter 12

  Read on AO3

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: For Hamilton and Eliza, peace was supposed to mark the end to their separation and the beginning of domestic bliss. But Hamilton's ambition and the challenges facing the new nation quickly interfere. Happily ever after may not be as easy to attain as they once hoped.

Stress and insecurity weigh heavily on Hamilton...

February 1791

“If we were to gift France such a benefit, especially one not called for in the treaty, as we both agree, where would we get the funds to offset the expected income?” Hamilton argued to John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, using his fork to emphasis his point. “Retiring the public debt requires income, and exempting one of our largest trading partners from the tonnage tax would put a sizable hole in the nation’s pocket.”1

Jefferson frowned and raised his wine glass to his lips. Where Hamilton expected a rebuttal, only a long silence followed. Hamilton swallowed down the inclination to say more, conscious not to give too much away.

“As trustees of the sinking fund, I do believe we must heed Mr. Hamilton’s advice on this account, Thomas,” Adams responded finally. “Congress has tasked us with reducing the public debt, and an exemption for France would run counter to that duty.”

Jefferson gave a noncommittal nod, which seemed to signal less his acquiescence to their arguments, and more a desire to move on to a new topic. They’d assembled at Mr. Jefferson’s new Philadelphia lodgings to discuss the sinking fund, specifically, however, and the three men had little else about which to converse. Given what a wily opponent Jefferson had proven himself to be over the past year, Hamilton had little desire to share current news or plans.

The sound of cutlery scraping against fine china seemed unusually loud in the awkward silence that followed. Adams turned his attention to his plate, slicing the cut of beef before him with great concentration. Jefferson’s gaze focused straight ahead on the window, unfazed by the tense moment where Hamilton would have been scrambling for a topic of conversation were he the host of this gathering.  

Eliza never would have let such a tense silence endure.

Hamilton wished she were with him.

“I suppose congratulations are in order, Mr. Hamilton,” Adams remarked. “For the passage of your banking bill. President Washington signed it today, did he not?”

Jefferson’s jaw tensed noticeably. When Adams raised a glass to him, Jefferson pointedly set his down upon the table. Hamilton fought a vindictive smile as he replied, “He did. Thank you, Mr. Vice President.”

Not without a hard won fight, however. Jefferson and Jemmy had collaborated against him, filling the President’s mind with doubts over the constitutionality of the National Bank. His mind still felt fuzzy from the sleepless nights he’d spent crafting his defense. Eliza, bless her, had stayed at his side that last night, when he’d despaired of ever finishing. She’d copied the pages he’d scribbled and scratched over, her boundless optimism a beacon in the churning sea of his thoughts. What would he do without her, his darling angel?2

“I did my utmost to keep harmony in the Senate during that debate,” Adams continued. “I trust you know best, Mr. Hamilton, though I confess I do sympathize with the position of our more Southern colleagues. The bank will surely benefit the North far more than the South. Not to mention the money men who shall make out best are, in my estimation, little better than swindlers and thieves.”

Now Hamilton’s jaw tensed.

“What America surely needs is less banks and more farmers,” Jefferson agreed. “Financial speculation will never yield the virtuous citizenry a republic requires to function. Cities and industry provide just so much to the support of pure government as sores do to the strength of the human body.3 Our farms are the bastion of a free society.”

One of Jefferson’s servants paused beside him to refill his wine glass as he spoke. Hamilton’s gaze drifted up to the enslaved man, whose face was fixed into a blank expression of placid obedience. Had he choked down a derisive laugh at that statement? Hamilton wondered.  

The South was as much a bastion of free society as Saint Croix, he badly wanted to retort. The plantation systems that flourished in societies arranged around cash crops were the very antithesis of a republic, which was meant to be organized around merit. How well he remembered the violence and cruelty that abounded on the plantations, and the rigid hierarchy that ruined his father and would have condemned him to the groveling state of a clerk for the rest of his days. Was that truly Jefferson’s ideal? Or was he simply blind to the failings of a system that had gifted him so much privilege?    

“I’ve not found that to be so,” Hamilton settled on as the most diplomatic reply. “I think, rather, that a diverse economy is the best way to open the door to all, that each may have the opportunity  to rise above the disadvantages of his birth and command the tribute due to his merit.”4 That’s what he was working towards, the vision he conjured when his eyes blurred in the wee hours of the morning as he reviewed endless contracts, tables, and charts.

Jefferson frowned again. Another noncommittal nod followed, signaling the end of the topic. How maddening it was, to debate with a man who refused to argue his position.

Another tense silence filled the room.

Hunting for a new point of conversation, anything less controversial to carry them through to the end of this interminable meal, Hamilton’s eyes landed on the portraits of three men Jefferson had hanging in his dining room. Bacon, Newton, and Locke, he identified. Surely science and philosophy would be safer ground than their competing political visions?

“Pray tell me, Mr. Jefferson, why you have the portraits of those particular three gentleman displayed?” he inquired, pasting on a smile.

Jefferson cleared his throat and launched into what could only be described as a lecture, and a dry one at that.

Hamilton pushed a green bean through the sauce on his plate idly. The food was delicious—Jefferson’s meals always were, his dinners like pomegranate seeds meant to trap the unwary into perpetually returning to his lair—but he found he had little appetite. All the late hours and opulent dinners had been taking a toll on his waistline, such that he’d had to have his breeches let out last month. Angelica’s latest letter had been proof that his expanding girth had not gone unnoticed.

He’d known something was off when Eliza refused to share Angelica’s latest letter with him. Regardless of to whom the letter was addressed, the first to lay hand on it always read it aloud for the benefit of the other. This time, however, Eliza had stuffed it into her sewing kit and put him off whenever he inquired about it.

“It’s silly, girlish nonsense,” Eliza had argued, patting him on the cheek fondly. “Nothing that would interest you.”

On the contrary, having it hidden away from him interested him greatly in the contents. He’d sneaked it out from under a pair of Pip’s socks when she’d had her back turned and cast his eyes over his dear friend's words. “…[O]ur dear Hamilton writes too much and takes no exercise and grows too fat. I hate both the words and the thing and you will take care of his health and good looks. Why, I shall find him on my return a dull, heavy fellow.”5

“Please don’t give it a moment’s thought. You look wonderful, sweetheart. Very handsome,” Eliza had tried to console him.

He’d taken pains to restrict his diet ever since, nonetheless.

“Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Hamilton?”

He blinked and refocused on Jefferson, who had fixed him with his intense, studying gaze. Apparently the great Professor had come to the end of his lesson. “I’m sorry, Mr. Jefferson,” he apologized, shifting in his seat. “I’m afraid I was miles away.”

“Do you agree that Bacon, Newton, and Locke are the three greatest men who ever lived?” Jefferson repeated for him.

A bold claim. He didn’t disagree, really. But he wanted to, if for no other reason than to throw Jefferson off guard.

A long ago, late night flashed through his memory, a campfire crackling while he, Lafayette, Laurens, and Mac had huddled round. “Why does Alexander get to be great?” Jack had asked to no one in particular.  

“I’m not great; I’m just better than you,” Hamilton had jested. Jack had elbowed him in the ribs.

“I mean it. Why do we call him Alexander the Great? Who determines which men will have fame that lasts through the centuries? His deeds weren’t necessarily noble; he didn’t fight for freedom or justice. Just conquest.”

Jack had worried about that frequently. Fame. Glory. A name that would be remembered throughout history; remembered for the right reasons.

“The same reason Caesar is remembered. They were conquerors. Heroes in their own time,” Lafayette had observed with a careless shrug.

“You think we’ll be the conquering heroes of our time?” Jack had asked, looking at him.

“You two? Of course. Our very own Caesar and Alexander,” Mac had interjected.6

A smile tugged at Hamilton’s lips as the memory washed over him. He longed for the simple camaraderie of the war, when the enemy was clear and the goal unquestioned. Oh, what better answer could he give?

Arranging his features into a serious expression, he replied, “The greatest man who ever lived was Julius Caesar.”7

The utter shock on Jefferson’s face forced Hamilton to cover his mouth with his napkin, feigning a cough to cover the his laughter. He’d pay for making such a comment, of that he had no doubt. Oh, but the expression on the unflappable Virginian’s face made it so very worth it.

**

A moan of relief fell from his lips as he closed the door to the house on Third Street that he and Eliza had picked out last August. He thought he’d never be able to leave that dining room. Any time spent with Jefferson always seemed to leave him with a merciless headache and the desire to sleep for days on end.

“Dinner went well, then?” Eliza queried, watching him from the entryway to the parlor with a teasing smile.

“I can’t stand him,” Hamilton groaned as he shrugged out of his winter coat. “He barely speaks. It’s impossible to win an argument when all he does is listen to my side, then change the subject. What’s the point of even meeting with him?”

“Well, as long as we don’t need to move cities again, I’d consider it a win.”

His face fell. He knew she was angry about having to leave New York, their home and their friends, as part of his concession to pass assumption of the debt, but he hadn’t expected her to raise that now. The comment had clearly come off more barbed than she’d intended, because her expression softened, and she swept over to kiss him softly.

“Do you want some tea?” she offered. Her hands massaged his shoulders gently. “Sarah brought up a fresh pot.”

“I have more work to do. Now that the lighthouse at Cape Henry is authorized—”

“Come sit for a few minutes,” she insisted. Her lips touched his again, soft and light as a butterfly’s wing. “Pip finished his theme a few minutes ago. He’s eager to show you.”

He gave in and followed her into the parlor. Pip was writing at his little desk, his face scrunched up with concentration as he wrote in his composition book. Alex and Jamie appeared to be fighting for control of the rocking horse, while Fanny and Angelica sat on the sofa, little fingers occupied with sewing circles. When he’d settled on the sofa beside the girls, Pip bounded over, thrusting the theme book into his hands.

“I finished, Papa,” Pip announced proudly.

Eliza poured a cup of tea for him as he opened the book to the latest page. Pip’s writing was crooked and just a touch too large, but he could tell his son had put thought into the answer to the question he’d set him this morning. He smiled encouragingly when he glanced up, and saw Pip’s chest puff out with pride.

“Do you want a tart, honey?” Eliza offered. “They’re cherry. Your favorite.”

“No, thank you,” he refused. She kept making him little treats like that, trying to tempt him to indulge himself. She felt unreasonably guilty for Angelica’s letter, he knew, but giving him desserts was hardly going to undo the truth of her sister’s words.  When she frowned in disappointment, he pleaded, “As much as I love your tarts, my angel, I’m quite stuffed from Mr. Jefferson’s dinner.”

“I want a tart, Mama,” Alex piped in, abandoning his wrestling match with his little brother in hopes of a treat. Eliza smiled indulgently, and placed one of the treats on a plate for him.

When Alex was settled, she brought over the teacup for him and sat on his other side, her hand rubbing up along his arm and resting on his shoulder, her fingers tangling unconsciously in his hair. The tension in his shoulders loosened at the affectionate gesture. He loved when she played with his hair.

Time in the loving embrace of his family seemed to fly by with a speed incongruous with the pace it had taken while he’d been at Jefferson’s lodgings. After Eliza finished plying him with tea, he knelt down on the floor to play with the boys. Fanny and Angelica were both quick to abandon their sewing when they saw a chance for a piggy back ride, and soon he was rolling around with his little ones, thoughts of Jefferson and his political intrigue far away.

Eliza had a great knack for knowing when he was about to excuse himself to return to work. The very moment  the thought of the contracts on his desk crossed his mind, she immediately rose. “All right, children, time to go upstairs and start readying for bed. Papa and I are going to take our evening constitutional.”

He sighed. “Betsey, I really must—”

“It’s important for your health that you exercise.”  

He touched a hand to his stomach self-consciously, the statement conjuring Angelica’s words all over again. As Eliza ushered the children towards the stairs, she paused beside him and whispered, “It’s my only time alone with you.” She smiled, and looked perfectly sincere; still, he couldn’t help wondering if that was the only reason she wanted him to take the evening walk.

As they set out into the brisk winter air towards Walnut Street, Eliza tucked her arm around his. “I feel like we never see each other anymore,” she remarked. “It’s even worse than usual, since we moved to Philadelphia.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I’ve only just begun to set the nation on a more solid financial footing. There’s so much left to do. And between Madison and Jefferson, I can hardly keep up with all the plots to undo the work I’ve already done.”

Eliza squeezed his arm comfortingly. “You’ll manage.”

“I hope so.” If he failed, economic collapse and the ruin of the nation were sure to follow. After a beat, he added, “You sleeping in a separate room is hardly helping.”

“I’m not sleeping in a separate room,” she said. “I’ve just been comforting Fanny. I try to give you time to fall asleep before I come back, so I won’t disturb you. You need your rest.”  

“You’re never there when I go to sleep.” His voice carried more bitterness than he’d intended. He wasn’t angry with her, not at all, but he did miss her desperately.

He could actually hear her lips thinning in response, he’d swear to it. “Fanny’s nightmares keep getting worse. What would you have me do? Leave her weeping in her bed so you won’t be lonely?”

Guilt swept over him. Their poor little girl had been suffering acutely from nightmares ever since they’d broken word to her of her father’s death. He doubted she even remembered Edward Antil; although they’d been honest with her from her earliest days about her parentage, she’d never wavered from referring to them as Mama and Papa. As gentle and reassuring as they’d tried to be, though, the concept of a parent dying appeared to have had a profound effect on her.

“Of course not.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She sighed, and added, “I’m just really tired.”

“Me, too.” They shared a weak smile in the orange glow of the streetlamps. “I love you, Betsey.”

“I love you, too,” she said, leaning her head against his shoulder.

They continued strolling along the street in companionable quiet for a time.

“I saw Mrs. Washington today,” Eliza commented suddenly. Her voice had the particular quality it always acquired when she meant something to sound casual and airy, but it in fact had more significance. “She’s encouraging Angelica and Fanny to sign up for dance lessons with Nelly.”

“That sounds nice,” he replied, tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“It’s rather…expensive.”

Ah. Money. The ever sensitive topic.

“You know our finances better than I do at this point, my dearest,” he said honestly. She’d taken over care of the finances before they’d left New York. He’d hardly even look at their account books recently. “If you think we can afford it.…”

“Pip and the girls all need new clothes,” she added. Her voice began to sound strained. “The rent is higher here in Philadelphia, as is the grocer bill. And you keep talking about sending Pip to boarding school this year. He’ll need clothes, and books, and money for room and board, not to mention the cost of the school itself.”

He frowned.

“I’m…worried, Alexander.”

“We’ll figure it out,” he tried to reassure her.

“I’m doing my best, but I can only juggle so much when the income just isn’t there. The way you spend money….”

Defensiveness flared up within him. “Didn’t you have the dress you’re wearing made at the tailors this month?”

“Yes, but—”

“It’s not just me spending money, is it?”

“Don’t cross examine me, Alexander,” she snapped. After a deep breath, she continued more calmly, “I’m not trying to attack you, honey. I’m just telling you that we need more money. I could talk to my father?”

“No.” His refusal was immediate. “No. I’ll…I’ll figure something out.”

“Like what?”

“I’ll consult on legal cases,” he suggested. Even the thought of it made him want to curl up and weep—he hardly had time to sleep as it was—but if his family required more money, he’d need to do what was necessary to provide it for them. “Reviewing appeal documents, perhaps. Nothing that could cause a conflict of interest with my current position.”

“Honey,” she sounded concerned. “You don’t have the time to take on legal work on top of your Treasury post.”

“If we need money, I’ll make more money. That’s my job.”

“That’s your job for the entire country.” She stretched up to kiss his cheek. “You know Papa would be happy to help if you’d let him.”  

“I promised to provide for you and our family when I married you, and I intend to see that through.”

She shook her head at him. “Never mind. Forget I mentioned it. We can economize. We’ll manage. We always manage.”

“I’ll look into taking on a few cases.” He dropped a kiss onto her head to settled the discussion. He hated that the only time they managed to eke out with each other, they spent arguing about money. He’d do anything, work as much as he needed to, so long as he had her by his side. “Would you try to come to bed tonight?”  

“I’ll do my best,” she promised.

Later, much later, when he’d finally finished reviewing the most pressing documents in his briefcase, he managed to drag himself to bed and was delighted to see Eliza waiting up for him. He slipped into a nightshirt and crawled into bed beside her. “Hello, my darling angel.”

Her brow was furrowed. “Why did you change in the dressing room?”

“Isn’t that what it’s for?”

“You’re still sensitive about what Angelica said.” She didn’t phrase it as a question.

“It’s not what she said. It’s that it’s true. Look at me, I’m growing round as a pumpkin.”

She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I like it. You’re less bony; much more cuddly.”

“What every man wants to hear,” he commented. She nuzzled her nose against his neck and squeezed him tight, though, and he couldn’t help chuckling. He rolled over, partially on top of her, intent on kissing her properly.

“Careful. You might crush me,” she teased, expelling an exaggerated breath around a laugh.

“Too soon. Not funny,” he insisted, crushing their lips together. He was smiling, though, properly smiling.

“Mama!” Fanny’s scream carried all the way across the house.

He groaned.

Her eyes held an apology as she pushed him away. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “She needs you. Go.”

She pulled on her dressing gown and hurried from the room, while he rolled over in bed and stared up the canopy. Without Eliza beside him, his mind raced with all that needed doing. The comfort and relaxation he'd felt moments before seemed to disappear with her. He drummed his hands on his chest absently, then sat up.

Well, he may as well get some work done.

1. See Hamilton to Jefferson, 11 January 1791 2. Eliza Hamilton interview with Benton J. Lossing, 1848. 3. Elkins and McKitrick, The Age of Federalism, p. 195 4. Paraphrase from Federalist No. 36. 5. Angelica Church to Eliza Hamilton, April 1792—I adjusted this letter up a year to play up Hamilton's insecurities more. 6. Robbins, “James McHenry, Forgotten Federalist,” p. 67: Embracing Laurens after the battle of Yorktown, McHenry supposedly queried, “Here is Caesar, but where is Alexander,” to which Laurens replied, “He is safe.”  The fact that Laurens was teasingly referred to as here Caesar adds an interesting layer to the comments that follow. 7. The famous dinner party with Hamilton, Jefferson, and Madison has been covered so much recently, I thought I’d write about this one instead. Joanne Freeman tells this story in the most entertaining way in her American Revolution course (available on youtube and itunes, if you’re interested). Hamilton's comments about Caesar over a meal they shared were repeated by Jefferson for literally decades, but given that Hamilton never expressed any real admiration for Caesar anywhere else in his papers, it seems highly likely that Hamilton was messing with Jefferson (assuming, of course, Jefferson didn’t just make the whole interaction up).

#hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #eliza hamilton #hamliza #an elusive peace #thomas jefferson #john adams #fanny antil

[fa-by]

Hellooo babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Welcome to a new ‘Q&A’ post. Enjoy 🙃

Here, dear Anon. I spoke and gave my interpretation of Find U Again here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648195009382842368/2-%C9%9F (sixth question).

Here, dear Anon. I talked about Michael Clifford here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194217526640640/%C9%9F (Point n° 2).

Nope and nope, dear Anon. Camila was in a relationship before they got together. May I advise you to listen to their songs with a little more attention, dear?

They were certainly more distant, dear Anon. As for the not speaking, it was a bit impossible not to do it work-wise speaking, but they certainly didn't talk about them and their situation. Not until Laur finally got her head out of her ass.

1) Of course I do, dear Anon. 2) She didn't hide it very well as you say. 3) Yes, because Lauren, but also Camila, are anything but subtle when they're jealous.

Thank you so much, dear Anon 🤗 and forgive me, but I don't think I understood what you mean. Do you mean if they were angry at each other? Because if they were angry at each other, then I don't think they shared a room 🤷🏻‍♀‍

Hiii to you too, baby CS 👋🏼😄 Lauren created her Tumblr at 14, so, no, I'm sorry, dear. It has nothing to do with Camila.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 When they stopped communicating again. It became painful when they stopped sharing with each other moments, situations, feelings, desires, opinions, fears, and everything that is enclosed in communication. But this happened after their first breakup. Their real first breakup lasted very little and led to their rings, dear. Sooo.

No, dear Anon, they weren't fighting. That was a soundcheck, not the concert. Can't you see they didn't have their white stage costumes? Can't you see they were all lazily rehearsing the steps? And then, I'm sorry, dear, but have you ever seen Camila angry? Does it look like she's angry here?

That's just Mila being Mila, dear Anon 🤣

No, dear Anon. That rumor was created as soon as the video of Camila singing the ‘The Hills/Crazy in Love’ mashup cover came out on July 3, 2015. It's just that. A cover like many others she's done. Mila at the time still didn't have the possibility and the access to record in a professional studio outside of 5H, so let alone if she could write and sell a song. And another proof I can give you about this is the fact that she hadn't even written I Know What You Did Last Summer yet. Camila, Ally, and Troy (Ally's ex-boyfriend) went to Taylor's ‘1989 Tour’ concert on July 10, 2015 (Shiseido was one of the opening acts, and that was the day ‘they wrote’, sure, Jane, a part of IKWDLS backstage). Exactly 7 days after that video. So, dear Anon, my answer is no. I don't believe at all in the possibility that it happened.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Yes, I read it, and no, dear. The story was written in 2014, so even though we can find coincidences today, it means absolutely nothing. They're just that: coincidences. The girl who wrote it, Jazmin, is from Germany, and that alone should make you realize she's not an insider. She's just a really talented and brilliant girl who has been able to write stories like Do I Wanna Know, CC7, and LJ10.

Of course I've seen/heard that video, dear Anon. I also talked about it in my last post, about the kiss more specifically. And to answer your questions:

1) neither. You can hear someone say: “This is weird. I missed you so much”. And honestly? I find this part of the audio so incredibly strange. You wanna know why? Because the video starts with screaming fans, right? One of them even screaming Lauren’s name. Then there's this sentence said at the same time as the kiss. That alone proves they didn't say it, but that’s not even what makes that sentence weird for me. It's the fact that I believe it was inserted into the video. I mean, I can't hear what Lucy and Nando are saying who are much closer to the camera than Camren, but I can clearly hear this sentence which is should supposedly have been said by one of them in a low voice from inside the van? Like, whaaaat? Come on, now. Look and listen for yourself if you don't believe me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAZS1QhEgoU.

2) Surprised by what? And why are you so sure they slept together?

I hope you're having a good day too, dear Anon.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 To me, Camila explains in a brilliantly sarcastic and sassy way, how she doesn't need a guy. Like “Cinderella never asked for a prince”, in this case, her.

If you think about it, all Disney princesses are beautiful, well-dressed, thin, with long hair, often naïve, and especially in the first movies, white. And all of them always follow the same basic model: they wait for the intervention of prince charming to solve the problems of their existence. Disney has luckily evolved over the years, but do you realize that they’ve made us grow up with the idea that to save us from our troubles and to change our lives, will be the encounter with ‘the right man’? That finding the love of one's life is the goal for a woman, and that beauty is the means to conquer it?

Disney movies, undoubtedly, convey a lot of positive messages. They can spur us on to being altruistic and optimistic, to commit ourselves to what we do, to try to change our own destiny, etc., etc. But they also have negative aspects and messages like, indeed, a Cinderella. The poor and beautiful maid, forced to work as a scullery maid by her stepmother and evil stepsisters, envious of her beauty. An unhappy housewife who doesn’t lift a finger to change the bad situation she’s in. And what's the only way her life changes? When the handsome and rich prince she met for only five minutes, marries her. I mean, what? Sis, you danced for a couple of hours at a party with him! You basically know nothing about him, but you marry him? Okay...

Disney animated movies are rites of passage, and although it may not seem from what I said, I really love animated movies. Although they have messages that may or may not adversely affect, they're also beautiful and fun. I grew up seeing them, and I am who I am today. I watched the videotapes every day and knew them all by heart. But then growing up, I realized that not everything they show is right. So, I advise you, dear Anon, and whoever is reading this, if you have a little sister, a little cousin, or are dealing with little girls, please, explain the differences to them as you watch those movies with them. Explain to them that beauty isn't everything. Explain to them that they don't need to be blonde and blue-eyed like Cinderella. Because they are and will be beautiful as they are, and that especially when they're older, this will not have to become a requirement to be socially accepted.

But anyway. Sorry if I dwelt, dear Anon 😅 I believe Camila used this song as her own unique way to dispel the stereotype of the classic Disney princess. Sentences like “She said ‘a dream is a wish your heart makes’, and he's a sad reality”, “Us twenty first century girls need chivalry too”, and “I'm still a damn princess to you” make us understand this. She didn't need a guy, and that's all the song stands for. Hope you have a good day too, dear 😊

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸��‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 😛 I hope I was helpful in this case too 🙃 Thank you all for your asks and as usual, know that I'm available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊

Always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

[maiden-of-wolves]

Fox & Ariel - Persistence

“Meeting” Scene Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Battle of Haven Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 The Winter Palace - Start The Winter Palace - Formal Introductions The Winter Palace - Secret Gathering The Winter Palace - Rift Battle The Winter Palace - Settling

Not actually any Ariel in this one; it’s all Venna. It’s their mission to Caer Oswin.

The actual journey to Caer Oswin was uneventful. Venna knew, thanks to Ariel’s knowledge, that it would be far from that once they got inside. All she said was that they would find the Lord Seeker and have to deal with a crazy cult who had strange beliefs about the seekers. She also said to go easy on Cassandra because the events that would unfold would be hard for her. Venna had a generally friendly relationship with the seeker, though she did always remind her that she couldn’t blame the mages for the war because the seekers weren’t keeping the templars in line.

As they approached the castle, said seeker had a few things to say. “Caer Oswin… odd that the trail should end here of all places.”

“Why’s that?” Venna asked, though she kept making her way up the winding dirt path. It was beginning to get overgrown, which made her think that the fancy shems that usually lived her weren’t living here any more or were in dire need of people to tend the paths.

“Bann Lauren is a pious, unassuming man,” Cassandra replied. “What has he become involved in to be the end point of our search?”

Venna barked out a laugh, turning so she could walk backwards and actually the seeker’s face as they moved. “If I’ve learned anything from all this time with you shems it’s that the world isn’t running by normal rules anymore. I’d bet the fancy shem is dead and whoever’s keeping seekers hid them here.” She shrugged, turning around the right way again. “Maybe the weird people that are so fascinated by your friends killed him, maybe not, but either way he’s not in charge anymore.”

“Pious is often another word for zealous,” Fox muttered.

Venna didn’t say anything, but she did gesture back towards Fox in nonverbal agreement of the sentiment. She didn’t like the Chantry before all this, and that was only becoming more cemented the longer she stayed in charge of this chaotic, mostly shemlen, crew.

Varric chuckled. “Often,” he admitted. “But not every time, Sly.”

The Seeker amongst them merely shook her head. She was not going to win this argument, as she’d tried many times to actively discuss the mage’s distrust of anyone that professed a love of the Maker and by extension the Chantry. She could understand it, on one level, as all mages seemed to hate templars on reflex from their own experience or from stories they’d hear from others. All except Vivienne, of course, and a few they’d taken in to Skyhold. The Chantry hadn’t wanted to see that it upheld a broken system until it shattered in their hands. Much more could have been done— should have been done— but the past cannot be altered.

Upon entering the castle, the door to which was suspiciously unlocked, they encountered a single soldier that appeared to be in high ranking Templar armor. The warrior did not even attempt to speak to them, instead charging the moment he noticed they were not people he recognized. Unfortunately for him, he was both outmatched and outclassed and fell without any real trouble on the part of the Inquisition squad.

“Well that was such a nice welcome,” Venna mused with a bitter chuckle. “I guess there’s no hope for a simple trade or something...”

While Cassandra didn’t say anything, she paused by the man’s body and pushed him a bit with her foot. Her brows furrowed as if she were thinking about something and it concerned her. When whatever she was looking for did not seem to appear, she simply removed her foot, shook her head and kept going.

“Something bothering you, Seeker?” Varric asked.

“Possibly,” she answered. “But I will reserve judgment until we see a bit more of this place.”

Her judgement apparently only needed another skirmish, this time with three heavily armored warriors. The battle was harder than the previous for obvious reasons but was not overly taxing. These were very passionate fighters, but blinded by either fervent faith or rage. Venna knew they weren’t Seekers, as Cassandra was not trying to talk to them or go easy on them.

“Promisers,” she spat, tapping one body’s breastplate with her boot. It echoed with a harsh thump. “I should have known.”

“Promisers?” Venna asked.

“The order of Fiery Promise. I should have known this was their doing…” Cassandra’s voice had dipped into a growl by the end of the answer.

“An order? Like the Templars and the Seekers? Or a cult mimicking them?”

The warrior quirked a brow as she looked at Venna. “Ariel knew of this, did she?”

“She told me that there would be a cult involved and that they had strange beliefs about the Seekers.”

Cassandra sighed before heading onward through the halls. “She is correct, as we have come to expect. The Order of Fiery Promise has hounded us for centuries. They believe that they are Seekers, the only rightful ones in fact. And they claim that we somehow robbed them of their powers long ago, which prevented them from ending the world.”

“Ending… the world?” Venna asked, it apparently being her turn to quirk a brow in confusion.

“Yes. As far as they are concerned, the only way to truly eradicate evil is to end the world,” she paused as they saw a open door at the end of the hall, stopping to put discussion to rest in case more Promisers were just ahead. “And a new world will be reborn from its ashes, as a paradise for them. A reward for their service. It’s all nonsense.”

“Sounds like it,” Venna agreed. “But the funny thing about belief is that it doesn’t have to make sense.” There was a hidden commentary on the Andrastian faith and even the pantheon that Venna herself had grown up with within the words, but the group did not pursue it. “Why haven’t the Seekers dealt with them before? If they were really that much trouble surely they could have asked for help from the Chantry or something, right?”

“We have, many times,” Cassandra explained. “But they just return some time later, like weeds that must find purchase before growing rapidly. No one knows how they keep coming back with these same beliefs.”

“But if they’re just a bunch of fakes, why are they such a problem for you? How would they have overcome and captured Seekers?”

“They tend to seek out and obtain forbidden or ancient magics before rising back up, using that power as ‘proof’ that they are stronger than us and thus the ‘true’ Seekers. Their being here does explain why there would be Seekers here, but not the connection to Corypheus...”

Venna tilted her head slightly. “Doesn’t it?” she asked. “He is an ancient magical thing in a way. And he wants to rule the world, right? So how much different would the ‘new world’ be if he promised a bunch of addled, power-drunk fools that they’d get their rebirth if they just capture Seekers, something they apparently already did anyway? I just… don’t know why he’d bother.”

“We are formidable warriors with unique skills,” Cassandra said, her words slow and deliberate as she thought over what Venna said. Yes, it did make sense, and the fact that it did made a shiver wrack her spine. “And I doubt any of our number would stand idly by with anything that Corypheus was trying to do.”

Venna tried to make eye contact with Fox, she knew Ariel had given him more details, specifics, but he refused to meet her stare. He simply sighed and shook his head. She almost asked him what he knew - what they were going to find - but thought better of it. Whatever it was, was bad. Perhaps he and Ariel believed Cassandra needed to see it as it would be presented. She didn’t like, at all, but she chose to trust them. When Ariel informed her that she’d told Fox virtually everything she knew and was willing to tell her as well, she chose to only know what she needed to in order to get the tasks done. Venna had a feeling that Fox often regretted knowing all the things he now did and every day seemed to give her a new reason to be glad of that decision.

They continued on, Venna leading this time. The halls were surprisingly quiet and empty and the only thing that drew their attention was a body. Venna didn’t recognize the armor at first, but Cassandra hurried past her and knelt next to it before turning it over enough that she could confirm their identity.

“A Seeker,” she breathed after a few moments. A quick check of their garments had her growling in anger. “Did they torture him to death? The Promisers will pay for this!” She stood quickly and headed out the nearby door to a wooden balcony.

Once they made their way into the large, open courtyard below they faced another squad of Promisers. This time, however, Cassandra in particular was vicious in her attacks and the battle was over without any real injury. At least on the part of the Inquisition. She approached one body, apparently finding the person who was the highest rank in the group, and searched it. It took her some time but she finally sorted through some papers she’d found in a satchel at the back of his belt.

“As the Seekers of Truth have proven resistant to the effects of Red Lyrium,” she read aloud as she stood and began pacing. “The Elder One has seen fit to place them in your care.”

“Well, there’s that link we were missing,” Venna sighed, reaching a hand up to massage her temple in an attempt to allay the oncoming stress.

Cassandra simply kept reading. “Reclaim your destiny. And know that the Elder One expects your devotion as repayment. Signed by Lady Calpurnia, Leader of the Venatori.” She simply let the letter fall where it may, now having no use for the scrap of paper. “Doesn’t he realize they want the world to end?! Why would Corypheus help them?”

“He opened the Breach,” Varric interjected. “Letting the world burn seems like a secondary thing to him. He just wants to rule it. Doesn’t matter to him if it’s a burning pile of shit.”

Venna snorted. “Yeah, that sounds about right…”

“But that still doesn’t explain how they managed to capture the Seekers in the first place, or what they’re doing with them,” Cassandra argued.

“If the body we found earlier is any indication, whatever they’re doing won’t be good,” Venna reminded her. “And didn’t that letter say they were resistant to red lyrium?”

“Seekers have many gifts, but a resistance to red lyrium seems strange,” Cassandra answered. “But, if it is true, then Corypheus would have no leash with which to hold us and thus Seekers would be useless to him. Perhaps that is why he gave them over…” She shut her eyes tight and shook her head as she turned away. “Let’s keep moving. We have to find the Lord Seeker, at the very least. Surely he would not have succumbed easily to all this.”

They found themselves all but ambushed in a large hall they wandered into, the Promisers slinking out from behind the pillars as if they themselves were shadows before descending upon the group. That fight was much more difficult, as they found themselves outnumbered by almost three-to-one, but Fox’s lightning magic took out three of them all on its own as they stood behind the rest to ready their bows. Venna wanted to kick herself for forgetting to ask why he’d not used the particularly devastating frost magic that Ariel said he’d used in the Winter Palace. She’d never seen him use it before or since. Now wasn’t the time, though, and she doubted there would be a good time during this task so for now she put the reminder away.

As they proceeded, she took note of the odd throne-like chair at the top of the stairway leading away from the great hall. It seemed terribly primitive in decoration for such a grand castle. As they moved on she simply filed it away as a possible tendency of these Promisers. There were several large chests in a large hall above the hall that a quick glance inside revealed a fair amount of materials and equipment so both Venna and Varric nodded to themselves in solid reminder to note this place for scavenging once they were back in Skyhold.

When they made their way out panting could be heard down the hall. Cassandra ran ahead, taking a knee by a body that was propped up against the side of another set of stairs. “Daniel!” she gasped, reaching out to touch the man in either a desperate bid or his attention or to simply confirm that he really was still alive. “Daniel, can you hear me?”

“Cassandra…?” he answered after a moment, his lips cracked and voice echoing the dryness.

As the rest of the group approached the full extent of the problem became apparent. His skin was pale but held cracks of red that appeared to be the beginning stages of red lyrium usage.

“Andraste’s tits…” Varric breathed, trying not just stand there staring at the Seeker but unable to do much else. What had happened to the kid?

“I thought that they were resistant to red lyrium?” Venna questioned, though she was really just doing her best to distract from the state Daniel was in.

“It…” he started, “Is you… you’re… alive…!” Daniel gasped out, eyes glittering with tears that were surprising given his clearly dehydrated state.

“As are you,” Cassandra reminded him, patting his shoulder gently. “I’m so glad I found you.”

Venna bit back her commentary on the fact that this man likely wouldn’t be around much longer. Whatever was eating at him was very much in the advanced stages. She tried to imagine how she would feel if she found her clan in a similar situation and it nearly made her puke so she turned away. This wasn’t hers to face.

“No!” Daniel panted. “They put a demon inside me. It’s… tearing me up.”

“Maker’s balls,” Varric growled, putting a hand to his forehead in a completely futile attempt to massage away the oncoming headache from stress and sheer anger. “These Promisers are just as crazy and cruel as Corypheus!”

Cassandra shook her head sharply, brows furrowing. “What?” she asked. “You can’t be possessed! That’s impossible!”

Daniel shook his head weakly. “I’m not...possessed,” he managed to force out. “They fed me things— I didn’t— I can feel it growing!” He gasped out his words in panic, not even really making sense anymore.

“Those… creatures will pay for this,” Venna growled, though she still refused to watch the events unfolding behind her.

“No,” Daniel panted. “The Lord Seeker—”

“Of course,” Cassandra interrupted him, reaching out and gently touching his cheek. “We will find him. If he lives we’ll—”

“No!” Daniel gasped. “Lucius betrayed us, Cassandra.”

Cassandra was stunned into silence as Daniel continued, turning his head away and his gaze shifting into a thousand-yard stare.

“He sent us here, one by one. ‘An important mission’, he’d said.” Gathering some strength, presumably from his anger, he turned back to Cassandra with a glare. “Lies!” he spat out. “He was here with them all along and he’s still working with them.”

“No capture necessary…” Venna breathed, closing her eyes and swallowing down another rush of visceral upset. This was horrible and she could only imagine how Cassandra was feeling. It would be like a keeper selling their clan to Tevinter slavers one by one. The thought made her tilt her head back to help push back down another round of nausea.

“Wasn’t there a demon impersonating him in Therinfall?” Varric recalled.

“It wasn’t the demon that sent for us,” Daniel dismissed. “That came later.”

“But how?” Cassandra gasped. “Surely a demon taking over the ranks would have been noticed!?”

“The Lord Seeker allowed it. He let the demon take command while he…” he paused, as if actually saying it would complete the betrayal.

“Came here,” Cassandra finished, expression hardening as she looked up towards the top of the stairs. She stood, clearly gunning for the stairs, but Daniel reached out with far more speed than would have been expected of a man in his condition and grasped her wrist tightly. “Wait!” he gasped. “Don’t leave me like this. Please…!” His plea had his voice at a pitiful whine by the time it finished.

Varric took a cue from Venna and turned away, both not wanting to see the act of mercy that surely had to come next and wanting to give Cassandra some sense of privacy in the moment.

Their Seeker knelt down again, turning in his grip so she could grasp his wrist in turn as she looked him in the eyes. “You should have come with me,” she told him, her voice wavering slightly in a rare show of sadness. “You didn’t believe in this war any more than I did.”

Daniel laughed, though it was as dry and pained as expected. “You know me,” he panted. “I wanted that promotion.” He leaned over a bit, coughing and heaving as if talking even as little as he had had drained him of what was left of his hydration.

Cassandra stared at her fellow seeker for a moment, expression now naught but pain and sadness. “Go to the Maker’s side, Daniel,” she urged, voice still wavering upon the edge of crying. “You will be welcome.”

She made no ceremony out of granting him death, taking his own blade and slicing quickly across his throat. Her hand held his wrist until his went limp. She stood and closed her eyes tightly, presumably to both banish oncoming tears and refocus. When she finally spoke, it was both to the group and to no one. “He was my apprentice. I have never known a finer young man.”

She paused again and then rounded on Fox, grabbing him by the front of his robes. “You knew! You knew and you just walked in silence!”

Fox met her stare and though his voice was cold, it remained even. “And would you have believed it, Seeker? When you refused to evacuate Haven despite being able to see with your own eyes it was indefensible? You proved you could not be trusted with knowledge of the future. You do not get to now cry when you aren’t given it.”

“And what would it have changed, really?” Venna noted, her voice echoing sadness as she finally made herself turn around. “I know you are suffering, Cassandra, but there was nothing we could do for this before now. Some things can’t be changed even if you know about them.”

Cassandra growled and released Fox without a word. She made her way to the stairs, growling, “the Lord Seeker will answer for this.”

The journey up and out to an open space on the side of the castle was nearly silent. Even the battles they took place in along the way up the steep hillside were devoid of banter and only held occasional calls for assistance. What was there to say? This situation was horrifying and there was no point in discussing it until it had some kind of resolution.

The group eventually came to a door at a slightly less inclined portion of their path. Cassandra reached out to open it but paused to look at each group member in turn. She found determination in their eyes and an understanding nod from both Venna and Varric. It was enough and she pushed forward.

Only a short hallway that appeared to be some kind of storage space separated them from a large courtyard. Cassandra stiffened as they were approached but stopped to give some semblance of her willingness to talk. “Lord Seeker Lucius,” she ground out.

“Cassandra,” he replied smoothly, eyes shifting to Venna just to her side. “With a woman that I can only assume is the new Inquisitor.”

“For once, an assumption is done and doesn’t blow up in the assumer’s face,” Venna said, tone sharp and expression of barely contained anger.

The Lord Seeker didn’t seem phased. “I also presume that you know we ‘Seekers of Truth’ were once the original Inquisition.” He didn’t even pause to let that sink in before continuing. “Oh, yes. We, too, fought to restore order in a time of madness long ago. As you do now. And we… became proud. Sought to remake the world. To make it better. But what did we create? The Chantry. The Circles of Magi. A war that will see no end.”

“Just because you failed doesn’t mean we will,” Venna snapped. “You know nothing of us or of our people.”

“Of course you say that now,” he replied smoothly, not even quirking a brow at her openly hostile tone.

“So you did all this because you hate our order?” Cassandra asked, her prior hostility replaced temporarily with confusion.

“We Seekers are abominations, Cassandra,” he told her, tone echoing a disturbing fervor as if he were trying to convert his fellow Seeker despite the fact that she’d carved her way in blood to get to him. “We created a decaying world and fought to preserve it even as it crumbled. We had to be stopped.” He paused only to reach behind him and unbuckle a tome from his belt and hold it up. “You don’t believe me? See for yourself.” He held it out to her. “The secrets of our order. Passed to me after the former Lord Seeker was slain. The war with the mages had already begun, but it was not too late for me to do the right thing.”

“Oh, yes, because betraying, deceiving and murdering your own order just because you were able to as the head of it was ‘the right thing’?” Venna asked, tone vibrating with anger and static crawling up and down her staff in her hand.

“Lord Seeker, what you’ve done—” Cassandra began.

“I know,” Lucius answered, cutting her off. His voice almost sounded as if it held a tint of guilt but it returned to its fanatical tone as he continued. “What Corypheus has done with those templars he collected does not matter. I have seen the future and I have created a new order to replace the old. The world will end so we can start anew. A pure beginning. Join us, Cassandra. It is the Maker’s will!”

Cassandra growled as she unsheathed her blade, entirely unwilling to hear another word from the man’s mouth. He was mad and there was no saving him. She leapt at her former commander with all the fury she’d gained from having to grant a merciful death to Daniel.

While Lucius was powerful and he had a full squad of Promisers at his call the battle did not last long. Everyone wanted this done and held at least some level of disgust at what had transpired so there was not a drop of mercy to be found in their attacks.

When it was finally over, Cassandra returned to Lucius’ corpse and stood over it. “He was insane,” she told herself, already fashioning an explanation that was better for her cracked psyche. “He had to be. The influence of the Envy demon, perhaps? Remove the Lord Seeker so that it could take over the Templars?”

“Whatever the reason,” Venna sighed. “It certainly worked like a charm.”

“I refuse to believe he destroyed all of us!” Cassandra snapped, picking up the tome that Lucius had held out to her previously and tucked it under her arm. “I won’t accept it. Let’s return. I will see what is in this ‘book of secrets’ when we get back to Skyhold.”

The group made sure to leave several markers on their way back to allow for the Inquisition to later find, clear up and pick clean the castle. If they were lucky, their good relationship with the Ferelden crown would allow them to use the space as another outpost. Their banter was still kept to a minimum as they moved on. The journey back to Skyhold would take them several days but they forged ahead until the forests were simply too dark to keep going safely. Venna could see much better than her non-elven companions and scouted ahead to find them a place to camp. Luckily she found a small stream just a stone’s throw from a clearing and led them to it without any trouble. She let everyone know where the stream was before taking the tent supplies from Doriel’s pack and beginning to set up.

By the time they’d settled in and munched away on some berries Venna found for them as well as a meager dinner of a couple rabbits they’d managed to find nearby, the Inquisitor’s mind had finally worked through what she’d experienced. Once it calmed, it reminded her of a question that was unrelated and still unanswered. The group had finished their supper and Venna looked over at Fox for a few quiet moments before standing.

“Can I have a word, Fox?” she asked.

He nodded to her and she turned away, leading him to the very edge of their camp before stopping. She leaned against a nearby trees as she regarded him. “I’ve noticed something that I find myself curious about,” she began. “It doesn’t have anything to do with what we just witnessed, but rather with your habits.” She paused, trying to figure out how exactly to phrase this to get the proper question asked. “You seem to lean towards lightning, even fire on occasion, in battle. Yet, Ariel talked a great deal about your mastery of ice magic. It was imprecise, perhaps, but terribly effective. Honestly, after her descriptions I was hoping to see it myself and try to reconstruct it. But you haven’t used it. May I ask why not?”

Fox sighed, turned to a nearby tree and blasted it with frost magic from his bare hand, rather than channeling through his staff. He didn’t look back at Venna. “You���re familiar with the concept that some magics, even some specific branches of elemental magics, come more naturally than others to mages, yes?”

Venna only quirked a brow as she watched the display, not quite sure how to take the show of power. “Of course,” she answered, wanting to ask why he chose to use anything but that if it was his talent but decided to give him a chance to explain first.

“The element that comes most naturally, most easily, without thinking… Is frost.” He sighed again and turned back to her. Fire crackled along his staff blade. “I find it distasteful, but without a staff, it was the best for the situation.”

She nodded slightly, her eyes flickering to watch the flames as Fox’s staff. “I suppose the simplest answer is usually the right one,” she mused. “Thank you for indulging my question.”

“You’re welcome. It is very flashy, I suppose, but I’ve much better precision with lightning.”

“Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to be in the way of your natural talent, given how well you handle the elements outside of it,” she said, chuckling. “So perhaps it’s for the best in more way than just that.” The reply offered, she turned back towards the camp. “Thanks again. Perhaps we’ll talk a bit more before we all tuck in.”

Fox nodded, but made no move to move back to the rest of the group. He turned and stared at the still-frozen bark.

Venna only took a look behind her to see if he was following but paused. Her first instinct was to ask what was wrong, but she supposed if she were looking like that she’d want time alone rather than attention, no matter how well-meaning that attention may have been. So, she headed back to camp. She stole occasional glances back to Fox just to make sure he was still there and when he did finally return she offered him as bright a smile as she could muster in an effort to at least make him feel welcome.

#my writing #co-authored #co-writing #Fox #tk-duveraun #OC: Venna Lavellan

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Hi guys! As promised to that Anon, I wrote the timelines. I decided to write only the key points though because these are things we already know, and then, I’m sure there are more than a thousand proofs around and people who have already spoken about it. Enjoy.

Drum roll, please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s start with the first competitor: Tyrone William Griffin, aka Typical Dish Snacked Ty Dolla $ign 04/13/1982, the man who liked to tweet things like “I’m the curator of lesbians”.

PRen Tyren: As I already mentioned in the post “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”, it all started on the evening of November 15, 2016, when 5H went to the Epic party. Due to Laucy’s picture of the wedding and the ‘official’ coming out then occurred a few days later, on November 18, 2016, Lauren needed a boyfriend. That same night at the party, Typecast accepted the management’s proposal.

Typo tweeted “LMJ” on January 4, 2017, and then immediately deleted it. First move to create speculation since, presumably, Lauren ‘was’ still with Ludicrous. Shortly thereafter, a blind item about L who was having an affair with a married man came out. On January 10, 2017, Nicole Cartolano posted that picture of Laucy in the snow with a piñata. After wishing her a happy birthday, as we already know, luBYE. On February 13, 2017, there were the first PRren pictures at the Grammy after-party, so that people would start believing the blind item, BUT, making it clear that he wasn’t a married man, but a taken one, and yes, MAN, since Tyred is 14 years older than her, and therefore inculcating the idea that L was really cheating on Luggage. On March 9, 2017, Tymbal posted a picture of them together, coincidentally, the day after he advertised his upcoming album ‘Beach House 3’.

On March 22, 2017, we had ‘Bare With Me’ and Nicole Cartolano’s interview with MTV News. On the 23rd, we had, still very coincidentally and totally unplanned, “no I hate it because it’s invasive, scary, delusional, disrespectful to us both and was never real…Ever”, because, because, SHE DECIDES. NOT US. PERIOD. (sorry, I had to 😂. This is another of L’s tweets dating back to July 2, 2017: “I decide. Not you. Period.”) Joking apart, because she was single and she certainly couldn’t let the fans have hope for her and C, so she tried to kill the Camren ship for the umpteenth time. “Hey, hey, Lo, how’d it go? That bad, eh?” “Let me try again in 2020.” “Laur, babe, I’ll tell you what. I’m from the future, okay? It didn’t work, honey. And I don’t think it’s gonna work either in, I don’t know, in 2030.”

Back to the program.

The day before Nicole’s MTV article and eight days later, Twix posted a series of tweets (21: “Lo” - 30: “You look better on me 👀”, Cuban flag, and “I think she like me 😍”) [👈🏼 ‘Great grammar’ said in Lauren’s voice] which he then of course deleted to make everything more and more mysterious, and thus making people connect and figure out who was that ‘LMJ’ tweeted in January. On April 14, 2017, we had a picture of L with TyPod and his family dating back the night before when they celebrated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’s birthday, followed by the blurred picture of the 15th of them together at Coachella. On April 18, 2017, Alycia Bella, Tinky Winky’s ex, tweeted “when you get cheated on w a 5th harmony member & all you can do is laugh.”, and then immediately deleted it, thus giving even more confirmation to people that both had cheated, despite Teletubbies denied and defended himself: “been moved on :) no cheating. Keep it Taylor’d. gang gang 🤘🏽🤘🏽”. The same Alycia who complained of being cheated on by Telly for ‘another girl’ during the reality show ‘The Platinum Life’ which aired on October 15, 2017 and that was recorded MONTHS BEFORE.

There were other tweets that Tyronic continued to tweet and then delete (April 1: “I think about you all the time” - April 3: “You my favorite” and “I don’t know what I did to deserve you” - April 7: “Really like what you’ve done to me”), Insta-stories and posts by both, and other public appearances together to increase the public’s curiosity. Such as: 1) Mani’s birthday. 2) August 16, 2017, when 5H did that famous and messy phone interview with The Sun for Dan Wooton’s podcast, one of Salmoned Cow’s well-known puppies friends, during which Dan asked Lauren about his relationship with Twinkly and she replied that they were just vibing. 3) Lauren’s birthday. 4) On September 11, 2017, Lauren posted pictures about the FentyxPuma party, and in one of those posts with pictures of her and Troglodyte, she put the caption with three hearts emojis, thus confirming to people that she and Tipsy were together.

February 2017 was the chosen month for Pukeren to ‘become’ official, confirmed by Typed in an interview at the Power 105.1 FM morning show The Breakfast Club on October 31, 2017, though, so a long time later and when the waters had already calmed down. By saying February, Tyring confirmed the cheatings exactly as it was planned. In another interview with BigBoyTV made on November 2, 2017, Typology showed the interviewees how even the background of his phone was a picture of Lauren. Picture that, by the way, Lauren herself posted 21 days before that by wearing Tijuana’s merchandise sweatshirt, so not even a personal picture that you’d normally expect to see from a real boyfriend.

Blah blah blah, Lauren never needed to defend a person so much in her life, blah blah blah, weed and booze and parties, blah blah blah, dogs (and fake allergies when convenient), blah blah blah, #Laurenthegroupie, blah blah blah, Tara and social media don’t get along very well, blah blah blah, #freepoorTweed ⛓️👮🏼 who was just having some fun with his friends, blah blah blah. We know the rest of the farce, and moving on to two years later, and therefore at the end of the PR, on April 15, 2019, Tic Tac tweeted a broken heart before zeroing his social media and Lauren a post on her social media, both implying the end of their oh so real ‘relationship’.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s move on to competitor number two: Maturely Hushed Matthew Hussey, 06/19/1987. The scammer par excellence (since 2012). The salesman who pretends to be a life coach/dating advice expert by deluding poor women who fall into his bullshit. The charlatan who has an infinity of fraud charges and even a restraining order for stalking and harassment by a woman named Samantha C. of San Diego. [this woman continually talked about the situation on her Instagram account, cheating_matthewhussey. Even Chelsea Briggs liked a picture.]

Ewmila Mattmila: The skit was supposed to start a lot sooner in reality. They ‘met’ for the first time on September 29, 2017, on the set of NBC’s Today show (performance that C dedicated to the Dreamers), but nobody has heard much about it, right? There was only a single Billboard article that did that. Following that meeting, it was supposed to start in October 2017, when they also started to follow each other on IG, but everything was postponed because C’s album was postponed. The album was released on the 12th, and by pure coincidence, on January 11th, 2018, during the interview with Elvis Duran, and COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE, C mentioned Matilda for the first time by saying she was a fan of his. The same Mattress (10 years older than her) who coincidentally was there that day, so a setup for the public to make believe that they’d met that day.

The next day, at the release of the album ‘Camila’, C performed at Good Morning America, and Macaque, again by pure coincidence, had a small slot in the same program. On January 15, 2018, during the interview with Zane Lowe, when he asked if she had someone special in her life at that time, she replied with “maybe”, which was a big yes when she read “I can’t say your name without smiling” just before from her phone notes. On January 22, 2018, on Zach Sang Show, C said that she’s a private person and that she doesn’t like the ‘public thing’ since the Austin fiasco. Another bullshit said to make the public believe that it was the truth and take advantage of the events that would happen shortly thereafter, since, literally 18 days later, on February 9, E! News exclusively posted the first Burpmila pictures on vacation on a beach in Cabo, Mexico.

Blah blah blah, we know, blah blah blah, they lived in airports to get papped, blah blah blah, they even paid fans to do it, blah blah blah, “He’s great”, blah blah blah, “She’s great”, blah blah blah, #They'reGREAT!, blah blah blah, let’s kiss in a children’s playground #Sinu #needyCamila #someonepleaseteachStMatteohowtoholdagirl #SofiwasdecidingwhethertoreturntotheSagradaFamiliaorgoontheswingratherthanwitnessthatugliness, blah blah blah, let’s get to the first oh so real oh so important obstacle in their story.

On August 12, 2019, a Dutch singer named Elieve did an interview in which she confessed that she and Camila were dating the same guy (Matchbox) at the same time. Elieve was in London from the beginning of January to the beginning of February 2018 and Matzo was in London from January 14 to 19, so they met on one of those days.

Blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’ve overcome this obstacle, blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’re a super happy couple, blah blah blah, Disneyworld, blah blah blah, let’s go skiing, blah blah blah, trip to Italy, blah blah blah, Shawn’s entry, blah bl- wait… Oh yeah, it’s the second PR’s turn. Goodbye Ew! ‘Thank you very much for nothing. Bye-bye!!’ said in Lauren’s voice. End of ‘story’ on May 11, 2019, that is, the last time they were photographed together, news confirmed on June 25, 2019, only 4 days after the release of Señorita.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Even if it wasn’t part of the request, this is a bonus of mine just because.

Señorita + Shitmila Showmila Shawmila: On January 27, 2018, Camila, Shaky, and Andrew, Shavable’s manager, were papped in a restaurant eating pizza before the Pre-Grammy Gala in New York City. That meeting took place to propose the idea of ​​the PR to C to help increase both Shallow’s music sales and his image. Camila was uncertain. 2017 had been a great year for her as a first time as a solo artist, and she knew that she would’ve to play her cards even better during 2018; plus, the PR with Matryoshka hadn’t even officially started and had already been postponed for a few months because the release of her album ‘Camila’ had been postponed.

Andrew explained to her that the PR with Chauffeur wasn’t going to be done right away at all, also because as C would have her PR relationship with EatchEW, Shanty would have that kind of PR relationship/not relationship with Hailey Baldwin (now Bieber) that only served to make people speculate and maintain the idea that Shazam wasn’t gay. Andrew also explained to her that their future PR relationship would benefit both of their careers because there would be a collaboration, a number 1 hit, which they would look for and use as a launchpad for the narrative. #friendswhothenfallinlove #RomeoandJulietbullshit

This perfect duet, went first to knock on Camila’s door, and then to Shuttle’s one in April 2018 in the form of Andrew Watt who already knew everything about the charade. Watt (he also worked on Havana and 7 songs for Romance including Señorita) co-wrote the song in April 2018, shortly before contacting Shitto, along with Jack Patterson, Ali Tamposi (she also worked on Havana, Consequences, and 6 songs for Romance including Señorita), and Charli XCX. [The same Charli who did an interview on October 21, 2019, in which she gave the true version of the story without even remotely mentioning Scab: “This Latin Pop flare just wasn’t right for who I am because I am not a part of that culture, I’m not from there. Whereas Camila has that in her blood, so when we wrote the song we thought about her and sent it to her.”]

Now that they had found the perfect song, and with the addition of Benny Blanco and Cashmere Cat in the production, all they had to do was convince Camila and her team. Charli XCX and C were the opening acts for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour from May 8 to October 6, 2018, during which Charli tried to persuade her to do the song by explaining how perfect it was for her. And who knows, maybe even since then they started working on it together since Camila, as she used to do, rewrote almost completely the lyrics to make it more her own. Ask that also to ‘Care About Me’ who turned into ‘The Boy’.

On August 4, still during the Reputation Tour, Shampoo went to the concert date in Toronto, and Taylor posted an Insta-story in which she put make-up and glitter on Shank’s eyelids. Sweaty regretted giving Taylor permission to post the video because people have always thought he was gay for years, and on November 26, 2018, the RollingStone interview was released in which he admitted that he felt the need to be photographed and seen with a girl to prove he isn’t gay. This was a great leverage they used with Camila since she could understand and help a friend in need. The work of persuasion lasted for about 9/10 months, from January 27, 2018, to the end of November/beginning of December 2018. Indeed, on December 5, 2018, both posted a picture taken on the 4th in the backstage of KISS 108’s Jingle Ball 2018 in Boston. Thanks to those pictures and C’s comment, word of their possible future collaboration began to spread. The plan was by then in place.

P.S. remember what happens to Romeo and Juliet, don’t you? Yeah. They die. And like Romeo and Juliet, they’re gonna (metaphorically speaking, of course) die too. Be patient, my babies, be patient.

🎉the🎊end🍾

I want comments now, guys. Which of these competitors you can’t stand the most and why, I’m curious. Put this 🐙 for Tissue, this 🐽 for Matte, and this 🐔 for Shrunken accompanied by the motivation. Let’s have some fun. 🥂

🖕🏼 this is mine for all of them, by the way.

As always, thanks, Mari. 🥰 Bye guys, I love you. Always with love, F. ❤️

#submission #f anon #mattmila tyren showmila timeline #so funny #anon #ask #how many names on this post #thanks you too much faby

[toomuchtimenerd]

Review for ‘The Unhoneymooners’ by Christina Lauren

Admittedly I ended up reading this book much quicker than I expected. Perhaps it was the fact that I was desperate to make myself forget I had ever read The Cruel Prince, or maybe I just needed some light reading to make myself feel like I was 15 years old again and reading my very first book on kindle: On the Island by Tracey Garvis Graves. Perhaps a bit of both. Regardless, The Unhoneymooners was a delightful book that flew by so quickly despite being around 400 pages. I think I needed something super lighthearted and contemporary to temporarily draw my mind away from high fantasy. I love fantasy, I really do and my entire folder of drafts for fantasy stories that I’ve brainstormed over the last several years is proof of my love for fantasy. But sometimes it’s still nice to get away and read something about nonmagical people in a nonmagical world surrounded by nonmagical things. This book did just that for me, and the fact that it’s mostly set in Maui pulls at my heartstrings a little because my first vacation with my boyfriend was actually in Maui too. What a happy coincidence.

Even though this book didn’t stir a lot of great, wild emotions within me the same way a lot of YA fantasy tends to, I’d still like to comment on some parts that I liked (which was a lot) and a few parts that were kinda ‘meh’ with me. This review is probably going to be a lot shorter than what I’ve written before, but that’s okay. 

The Unhoneymooners is about a 30-something-year-old Latina named Olive who narrates the entire story with the exception of the epilogue (which is narrated by the male love interest). Some background on Olive: she’s supposedly incredibly unlucky and unfortunate in life... almost like somehow all her luck has been sucked dry by her twin sister Ami. Ami’s the one who wins all the jackpots for random stuff in life, so much so that she managed to snag enough jackpots to plan a dream wedding and a free honeymoon for the price of only around $1000. As someone who also proclaims herself to be somewhat pretty unlucky in life, I relate to Olive pretty hard. I used to not be a pessimist, but whenever I look back on some of the stuff that has happened in my life that were TOTALLY out of my control I can’t help but chuckle and be like “wow my life is pretty darn unlucky sometimes”. Now it’s just easier for me to deal with certain things if I don’t get my hopes too high up beforehand. But enough about me. 

The story starts with Ami’s wedding, and unfortunately the jackpot she won for a free luxury shellfish catering at her wedding goes completely awry and almost everyone gets serious food poisoning. All except for our lovely heroine and of course, the love interest. The male lead is Ethan, the older brother of Ami’s new husband and also a guy that Olive does not really like at first. They met about 2-3 years ago, when Ami and Ethan’s brother (Dane) first started going out, and because Olive misinterpreted Ethan’s facial reaction at her eating cheese curds she forever believed that he didn’t like her and she wrote him off as a fat-shamer or something of the sort. Kind of weird, but okay I guess. Ethan’s your typical hottie, also 30-something years old and apparently has the looks of a frat boy (like Dane) but the personality of a homebody semi-dork (unlike Dane). Ethan does something math-related for a living and loves staying at home. He also has a lucky penny. How cute. 

So when everyone’s yacking and having explosive diarrhea all over the place, Olive and Ethan decide to make good use of the free honeymoon to Maui and make an agreement to tolerate each other for the length of their trip. The book very quickly gets juicy, considering a series of events happens and they are essentially forced to put on a constant charade of pretending to be newlyweds. All this pretending wears and tears down their emotional barriers with one another, and next thing you know they’re sharing feels and kisses and tongue action together. We find out that they both shared mutual feelings of attraction when they first met, but Dane had actually warned Ethan to not get involved with Olive due to her penchant for negativity (which stems from the fact that she’s so unlucky in life all the time). At one point at a baseball game or something, Olive goes to get cheese curds and as she’s enjoying her food she stumbles into Ethan who apparently makes a weird face at her and she gets incredibly insecure and feels like he was fat-shaming her. Turns out (and I can’t believe this took over 2 years to reconciliate) he was trying to mask his attraction towards her and avoid her out of respect for Dane. But Olive just assumed the worst, thinking Ethan did not like her and decided to return the feelings with mutual dislike. This alienated Ethan, and obviously who’s going to pursue a girl who’s giving you the vibes that scream ‘stay away from me!! i dont like u!!!’? Not any normal, sane, decent guy. 

Personally, I felt like this backstory between Olive and Ethan was super weird and not the most well fleshed out or even something that remotely makes much sense. I get feeling insecure and I understand not liking someone simply on the basis that you think they don’t like you. But I don’t understand how someone completely misinterprets a facial expression THAT much and then holds it against the other person for THAT long. Heck, I’m absolutely one to hold grudges against people but even I don’t think I’d hold a grudge for that long over something like that. But hey, this whole book is meant to be comedy fluff so I ain’t too bothered by this nonsense backstory. 

I’d say about 70-80% of the book is literally just about the relationship build-up between Olive and Ethan, and the rest is about the shitshow that is Ami and Dane, specifically just Dane. Turns out he’s been cheating on her for the majority of their 3-year relationship, and tbh Ami’s initial reaction to Olive informing her of Dane’s unfaithfulness kind of pissed me off. It’s one thing to not want to believe it, but it’s another to completely disregard it and turn it back on your sister by claiming they’re just trying to sabotage you or something. Thankfully, this whole issue is resolved pretty quickly and Ami’s way of finding the truth out herself was simply magnificent. She texted each of her husband’s side-chicks through his phone, pretending to be him, and had them all come by their house at the same time on the same day just so she can confront Dane and all his flings about his faithfulness. So beautifully done, it almost brings a tear to my eye. 

So in conclusion, The Unhoneymooners was a lighthearted and enjoyable read that truly had me either smiling or silently laughing for maybe a third of the book. The language was great, the chemistry between Olive and Ethan was oh so ooh la la, and way Lauren weaved in the love and support of a big close-knitted (and very dramatic) family was heartwarming. I may try to search for more books like these since light fluff is always much needed to help treat my seasonal depression (thanks January). But I’m always worried about shelling money over a book that ends up reading a little too much like corny fanfiction. For example, I absolutely adored Meg Cabot books when I was in middle school, but now that I’m in my 20s I really don’t think I could read any of her books for more than half an hour. If I tried, I would end up rolling my eyes out of their sockets. Books about a contemporary romance between teenagers seemingly always end up becoming so dramatic, but then again it’s probably because teenagers are incredibly dramatic. I should know this, after all, I definitely was a dramatic teenager. I wish I were being sarcastic. I’m just going to sprinkle some of my favorite quotes from The Unhoneymooners so I can help myself forget about how unnecessarily dramatic I was as a teen.

“I want to say something sassy, but the only coherent thought that comes to mind is how insulting it is that eyelashes like his were wasted on Satan’s Errand Boy...” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.2) 

- TELL ME WHY IS THAT QUOTE SO RELATABLE? WHY ARE BEAUTIFUL LASHES ALWAYS WASTED ON MEN?? MY BOYFRIEND HAS THE MOST STUNNING LASHES EVER MEANWHILE I NEED TO GLUE FALSIES ON MY DAMN EYELIDS JUST TO ACHIEVE HALF OF WHAT HE’S GOT

“I can appreciate my body in a bikini and still want to set fire to the patriarchy.” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.7)

- All I can say is yas preach 

“I am a homebody, through and through, and there’s nothing like being at home.” (Lauren, 2019, Ch.15)

- Also too relatable. I enjoy traveling, I enjoy vacations, I enjoy spending a night out with friends, and I enjoy a good party. But at the end of the day, there’s nothing I enjoy more than my own bed

#the unhoneymooners #book review #christina lauren #contemporary romance

[snapadoodlez]

Doctor Who Series 10 Playlist

So I make a lot of playlists as a hobby and, par for the course, I wound up making one for Series 10 of Doctor Who. I’m quite happy with how it turned out, so I’m sharing it here on the off-chance you’ll enjoy it as well!

Here’s the Spotify link (will prob. post an embedded version later):   https://open.spotify.com/user/sirenssongs/playlist/0lvaeVUc8YcjG7QVUb1qiA

In this playlist, the songs/events are organized chronologically (versus by episode order): it starts off at the execution planet scene in Extremis ( “See I’m Smiling”) and picks up later at the university with The Pilot and the introduction of Bill (”Dear Old Shiz”/ “See Her Smile”).  Along with the Twissy/Bill emotional arcs, it fills in some of the (*cough*vault-shaped*cough*) gaps.  It is long: but if you need something to listen to and feel like revisiting the story while you work/study/etc., hopefully this’ll do the trick!

I’ve included the track-list and guide below (full-list below “Keep Reading” line). I hope you enjoy it, and I’d  love to hear if you do!  If you don’t listen to the whole thing, maybe you’ll find a new song or two.   I’ve made some other DW playlists for previous series’, so if you like this, I may go back and post those as well.

Track-list & Guide:

1. See I’m Smiling – The Last Five Years

“Oh… Doctor… I didn’t expect to see you.  Thought you’d retired… domestic bliss on Darillium, that’s the word among the Daleks…”

“Please, teach me… teach me how to be… good.” “Without Hope? Without Witness?  Without Reward?”

2. Say No To This – Hamilton

“I am your friend.” “Makes no difference.” “… I have to say it, the truth.  Without hope.  Without witness.  Without reward.  I am your friend.”

“You swore an oath! “I swore an oath I’d look after her body for a thousand years.  Nobody mentioned dead.”

The Doctor is conflicted.

3. Hey #1 – Next to Normal Uncertain early days in the vault.

4. Do You Want to Build a Snowman? – Frozen *vault* Missy doesn’t want to build a snowman.

5. I Won’t Say I’m in Love – Hercules *vault* Missy wrangles with her feelings.

6. Back to Me – Marian Hill & Lauren Jauregui *vault* Missy sets to schemin’ on Twelve.

7. Dear Old Shiz – Wicked Professor Twelve.

8. See Her Smile – tick, tick…BOOM!

“My mum always said, ‘With some people you can smell the wind in their clothes.’” “Oh.  She sounds nice.” “She died when I was a baby.” “If she died when you were a baby, when did she say that?” “In my head…There’s hardly any photographs…But if someone’s gone, do pictures really help?”

9. You’re Welcome – Moana

“Time And Relative Dimension in Space.  TARDIS for short.”

10. What’s This? – Nightmare Before Christmas Bill has a lot of questions

11. Sally Ride – Janelle Monáe

“The last thing she said to me.  She promised she wouldn’t leave without me.” “Her last conscious thought, driving her across the universe.  Never underestimate a crush.”

12. You’ll Be In My Heart – Tarzan (Phil Collins)

“What changed your mind?” “Time.” “Time?” “And Relative Dimension In Space. It means, what the hell?”

13. Everything Else – Next to Normal

“A piano?  You’ve put a piano in there?  You don’t learn, do you, sir.”

14. Light My Candle – Rent *vault* Missy gets bolder. The Doctor is flustered.

15. No Angel – Beyoncé *vault* Missy makes a move.

16. Wondaland – Janelle Monáe

“I’m smelling home twenty lightyears from home.  Thanks for bringing me! This is a great day out.”

Bill and the Doctor venture out in Time and Space.

17. Champagne – In the Heights

“Hey!  Do you want dinner?  I’ve got Mexican.”

18. Heaven’s Light/Hellfire – The Hunchback of Notre Dame The Doctor has conflicting feelings about his oldest friend.

19. Partition – Beyoncé Quality *vault* time

20. Take Care (feat. Rihanna) – Drake *vault* Twissy angst.

21. Malibu – Miley Cyrus *vault* Twissy fluff.

22. Go To The Mirror Boy! – The Who (Tommy)

“Nardole, I can’t… I can’t look at anything ever again.  I’m still blind.”

23. Handlebars – Flobots

“If you do not ask for help, then see the days to come.  These are the threads that lead to one year in your future.  Take them as proof.”

“I’m asking you for help.  I’m giving my consent.”

The Monks invade.

24. Tango: Maureen – Rent

“God, the way you and Nardole have been carrying on, I thought you had some kind of monster in here, or something!” “I do.”

25. Many Moons – Janelle Monáe

“Our mission is to interrupt their broadcast and replace it with the true history of Earth.”

“Oh, you clever, brilliant, ridiculous girl… The lie is breaking.  Bill’s mum, you just went viral!”

26. Life Support – Rent

“I keep remembering all the people I’ve killed.  Every day I think of more… I didn’t know I even knew their names.  You didn’t tell me about this bit.”

27. Every Single Night – Fiona Apple

“I’m sorry… but this is good.” “Okay.”

28. Life on Mars? – David Bowie

“I need to get back to Mars.. and I was wondering if you could tell me how to fix…” “Of course I can. It’s probably easier if I just show you.”

29. Haunted – Beyoncé

“This can’t happen.  This is not what we agreed to.  I’m going to have to put you back in the Vault.  You know that.” “Sure.  That’s fine.  But Doctor, please tell me.  Really.  Are you all right?”

30. Training Wheels – Melanie Martinez

“ The alternative is that this is for real, and it’s time for us to become friends again.” “ Do you think so?” “I don’t know. That’s the trouble with hope. It’s hard to resist.”

31. I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face – My Fair Lady (Rex Harrison) The Doctor realizes he’s been catching feelings.

32. Satisfied – Hamilton

“ She was my first friend, always so brilliant, from the first day at the Academy. So fast, so funny. She was my man crush.”

“ She’s the only person that I’ve ever met who’s even remotely like me.”

33. Bonfire Heart – James Blunt

“ We had a pact, me and him. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don’t think she ever saw anything.” “And you think that if she did, she’d change?” “I know she would.”

34. Moonrise Kingdom – Angel Haze

“She scares me. Like, she really scares me…So promise me one thing, yeah? Just promise you won’t get me killed.”

35. It’s Gonna Be Good – Next to Normal Missy joins Team TARDIS.  What could possibly go wrong?

36. There’s a World – Next to Normal

“Would you like some tea?”

“They are the cure. They are the future. To survive, they are what we must all become.”

37. Sincerely, Jane – Janelle Monáe

“This was a good place once… But this ship is old, everything is dying… You see, my dear. You must be strong to leave the hospital. And you will be. Soon. Very soon.”

“This won’t stop you feeling pain, but it will stop you caring about it. It fits over your head.”

38. I’m Alive (Reprise) – Next to Normal

“ He’ll never forgive you, you know, He’ll never set you free. Not when he discovers what you did to his little friend.” “I haven’t done anything to his silly little friend.” “ Oh, but I’m afraid you did. But a long time ago.”

“Hello, Missy. I’m the Master, and I’m very worried about my future.”

39. The Break – Next to Normal Try as she might, Missy can’t outrun her past.

40. The Master Vainglorious – Murray Gold (Doctor Who Series 3)

“You’ve met the ex?”

41. You Don’t Own Me (feat. G-Eazy) [Candyland Remix] – Grace

“Oh, am I a woman now?” “Well, kind of, yeah.” “Hold me!” “ Kiss Me!”   “Make Me!”

“The whole city is a machine to turn people into Cybermen.  What do you think? Exciting, isn’t it?”

42. Make Up Your Mind/Catch Me I’m Falling (Reprise) – Next to Normal

“I was secretly on your side all along, you silly sausage.” “Is that true?” “It’s hard to say, I’m in two minds…”

43. Skyscraper – Demi Lovato

“I can feel it.  In my head…It’s like I’m hanging on in a hurricane. And I can’t hang on forever.  I want you to know… as my friend…I don’t wanna live if I can’t be me anymore.  Do you understand?…Then it’s not possible, is it?”

“I tell you what else isn’t possible.  A cyberman crying.  Where there’s tears, there’s hope.”

44. This Woman’s Work– Greg Laswell (Kate Bush cover)

“You are so strong. You’re amazing. Your mind has rebelled against the programming. It’s built a wall around itself. A castle made of you, and you’re standing on the battlements, saying, ‘No! No, not me.’”

45. Louder Than Words – tick, tick…BOOM!

“Winning? Is that what you think it’s about? I’m not trying to win. I’m not doing this because I want to beat someone, because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It’s not because it’s fun. God knows it’s not because it’s easy. It’s not even because it works because it hardly ever does. I do what I do because it’s right! Because it’s decent! And above all, it’s kind! It’s just that… Just kind.”

46. I Am the One – Next to Normal

“Stand with me…Why not?  Just to the end?  Just be kind.”

“See this face? Take a good long look. This is the face that didn’t listen to a word you just said.”

“Missy.  You’ve changed.  I know you have.  And I know what you’re capable of.  Stand with me.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” “Me too…  But no.  Sorry.  Just… no.  But thanks for trying.”

47. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder – The Secret Sisters (Hunger Games) The calm before the storm.

48. Blackout – In the Heights

“Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand is where I fall.”

49. The Rains of Castamere – The National (Game of Thrones)

“I loved being you. Every second of it. Oh, the way you burned like a sun, like a whole screaming world on fire. I remember that feeling. And I always will. And I will always miss it.”

50. The World Was Wide Enough – Hamilton

“Missy, seriously, why?” “Oh, because he’s right.  Because it’s time to stand with him.  It is where we’ve always been going, and it’s happening now.  Today. It’s time to stand with the Doctor.”

“I will never stand with the Doctor.  You see, Missy, this is where we’ve always been going.  This is our perfect ending. We shoot ourselves in the back.”

“Pity… no stars… I hoped there’d be stars…”

51. Whispering – Spring Awakening (Lea Michele)

“Without hope, without witness, without reward.”

52. Across the Universe – The Beatles

“I can put you back home, you can make your chips, live your life, or you can come with me.”

“It’s a big universe.  I hope I see you again.”

53. A Good Man? (Twelve’s Theme) – Murray Gold

“I don’t want to change again. Never again.  I can’t keep on being somebody else. Whatever it is, I’m staying.”

54. Doctor Who (Original Theme) – Ron Grainer

“Who is that?” “I’m the Doctor.” “The Doctor? No.. I don’t think so. No…dear me, no.  You may be a Doctor, but I am the Doctor.  The original, you might say.”

Bonus: This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood Home – Murray Gold (Doctor Who Series 3)

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