Tumgik
#that I'm gonna be alone for my whole life
Text
but daddy i love him
pairing: charles leclerc x australian! reader
summary: where people have things to say about your relationship, or in which it all gets to much for y/n
warning: age gap relationship, slutshaming, angst, death threats
a/n: i have a pt 3 planned don't worry guys
pt 1 is here!!! pt 3 is here!!!
f1 masterlist
main masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media
arthurleclerc has posted one story
Tumblr media
caption: best future sister in law
liked by charlesleclerc, yourusername and 24, 386 others
charlesleclerc how is she
arthurleclerc shes fine
charlesleclerc take care of her please
arthurleclerc ofc i will
yourusername HELP whyd you post this one
arthurleclerc cause you low key look weird asf 🤷🏼
arthurleclerc also im legit standing next to you whyd you have to text me
user1 so she got to you
arthurleclerc leave her alone man shes legit done nothing
user2 ew
arthurleclerc how bout you fuck off
yourusername has posted one story
Tumblr media
caption: revenge
liked by charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc and 345, 795 others
charlesleclerc hes gonna kill you
yourusername oh well
charlesleclerc how are you
yourusername fine
arthurleclerc im gonna kill you
arthurleclerc take this down
yourusername no you wont
yourusername you like me to much too
arthurleclerc true
user1 slut
user2 going for the more age appropriate one now
user3 cant just have one can you
yourusername has posted
Tumblr media
liked by charlesleclerc, olivia rodrigo and 3, 278, 217 others
yourusername happy international womens day. celebrating the women closest to me
tagged: lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, carla.brocker, yourmothersusername, pascaleleclerc
francisca.cgomes my fav omg
→ yourusername your literally the bestest friend in the whole world
lilymhe hate that photo tbh
→ yourusername wdym you literally look STUNNING
→ user1 shes so not a girls girl
sabrinacarpenter not stop i miss you
→ yourusername i miss you more girl
oliviarodrigo well hangout when your tour finished trust
→ yourusername ofc i wouldn't have it any other way
carla.brocker thank you for dealing with arthur today omg
→ yourusername lol sure anytime
→ arthurleclerc HEYYY
→ user2 ew shes such a slut
→ arthurleclerc pipe down user2
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
pascaleleclerc couldn't be happier to have you in our family
liked by creator
pascaleleclerc thank you for taking charles off our plates
→ yourusername ofc but you have to take him on saturday hes getting clingy
→ charlesleclerc heyy
→ yourusername sorry mon amor but its true
user3 she saw twitter and had to shut it down real quick
→ user4 no fr tryna act like they acc like her
yourusername has posted
Tumblr media
liked by francisca.cgomes, charlesleclerc and 4, 786, 374 others
yourusername life before i have to go back on tour
tagged: fransisca.cgomes, gomezzzlife
charlesleclerc 🤍
fransisca.cgomes STUNNING
→ yourusername SAYS YOU
user1 acting as if its a chore to be on tour
user2 imagine not liking your fiances comment
→ user3 no fr fr
user4 go die slut
yourusername has posted
Tumblr media
caption: race day
liked by charlesleclerc, francsica.cgomes and 128, 879 others
charlesleclerc you look gorgeous today
yourusername charlie 🤍
francisca.cgomes HOT
user1 ABSOLUETLY NOT
user2 byeee
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername has posted
Tumblr media
liked by sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo and 11, 237, 456 others
yourusername but daddy i love him out now
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN DISABLED
Tumblr media
INCOMING PHONECALL
charles
my love
whats going on
you
charlie
im sorry
you
i just can't do this anymore
its all too much
charles
what
what are you talking about
you
i can't do us anymore
i love you so much
but everythings to much
their all to much
charles
fuck them
they don't know our relationship
they don't know how much i'm in love with you
please we can figure something out
you
i can't charlie
i'm sorry
i just need space
CALL ENDED
Tumblr media
charlesleclerc has posted one story
Tumblr media
liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and 567, 892 others
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN LIMITED
__________________________
a/n: part two guys!!! lmk if you want a pt3 becuase i have one planned.
173 notes · View notes
hotpinkstars · 23 hours
Note
HIIII I JUST READ YOUR BOOTHILL IDEA ABOUT PREGNANCY AND I AM WELL FED 😭 i love how angsty it is. oh boy i'm sure struggles a lot during his s/o's pregnancy. like...it has lots of cry and self-conflict because he may thinking that he isn't helping his s/o. there gonna be small arguments and misunderstandings. it's hard for the both of them and the baby. 🥹
ohhhh yes. yup. decided to take a real angsty route with this one. I added some mentions of his actual backstory here, bc my og one was written before his backstory was released lols
Boothill definitely cries during your whole entire pregnancy. He also has a lot of bad thoughts about himself during it, too. 
At first, he tries to hide it, and either subtly cry, or just simply wait until you’re no longer in the room or the house. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s not happy because of the state he’s in. 
He used to be human, he used to be flesh, and most importantly, he once had a daughter of his own, and that's what crushes him the most. He fears so much that he’s almost going to replace her, even though he knows deep down in his heart that it most definitely wouldn’t be able to happen. 
He also feels so bad about not being able to do normal human things for your during your pregnancy :(((( he knows how much you want to be able to be soft and intimate, to take baths and be able to have a cozy massage and just a cozy person around in general, and he’s the exact opposite of that. He doesn’t even think he deserves the husband title anymore.
He literally once asked you why you’re still with him and not someone else. You explained that you loved him and you wanted to be with him, and even then he never really expressed the way he felt about himself to you but you could sort of see it in his eyes. He didn’t like the way he was and the fact that he can’t be what he refers to as a “proper dad” to his kid. 
He knows it’s hard on you, too, and he also knows that you’re catching onto his harsh thoughts, and you’re catching on fast. It caused an argument a few times, on how you’re hurt that he’s not expressing his emotions, he doesn’t want to, it turns into a “do you not trust me or something?” conflict on your end, and a “I just don’t know what to say without hurting you” conflict on his end. Misunderstanding that likely won’t just dissipate. 
There was one argument that you both had when you were nearing pretty close to your due date, and he decided he was going to walk out midway through and not come back for about a week. For some reason, he chose a petty route, leaving you anxious and super betrayed, considering he refused to answer his phone, too.
The argument was over something that seemed incredibly stupid, if you both must say so yourselves. He was, once again, insecure, and he wouldn’t tell you why. That was what bothered you- did he not trust you enough? Did he seriously not want to be a part of this baby's life? Why else would he just walk out?
To say it made you super anxious, scared, and lonely was an understatement. You were left with the thought that you’d have to give birth alone, and go back to your original game plan that you already mentally set up. You thought he genuinely left you.
That was, until he walked back into the house on a random afternoon that next week. He ran up to you and apologized, allowing you to cry it out in his steel arms. He felt so horrible, and he vowed to you to never, ever do that again.
He tries to start letting you in on his troubles from that point on, but there still seems to him like there's a barrier blocking his words from coming out. Sometimes, he just blames it on his synesthesia beacon, which seems to work for now. 
He also lets you see him cry more often, but that stops when you give birth. He doesn’t need you to be more overwhelmed than you already will end up being.
194 notes · View notes
Note
Okay so like as I’m writing this, tomorrow is my birthday (I’m gonna be 19 😭) and I was wondering if I could get some birthday headcanons with the legion of horribles (poly but platonic) + (separately) zsasz?🥺
You don’t have to finish this on my birthday so I understand if it will take time but if you can do it that would be wonderful! Don’t feel pressured though!
Thank you so much Cupid!^^🫂
'400 LUX,
-GOTHAM!VILLIANS X READER-
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⋆ Characters ↬ Oswald Cobblepot, Jerome Valeska, Bridgit Pike, Jervis Tetch, Jonathan Crane, Victor Fries, Victor Zsasz
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Birthday HCs with the Legion of Horribles! (+ romantic zsasz)
⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!villains x female reader. PURE FLUFF! They adore reader so so so much! Reader turning 19 :> Age gap for Zsasz! All seven of these idiots. Good luck reader, you will need it!! Suggestive parts in Zsasz's. Reader probably drinking too much tea to be healthy. Also sorry I'm a little late with this, hectic week but happy late bday adal <3 love ya!
Tumblr media
𝛰𝑆𝑊𝐴𝐿𝐷 𝐶𝛰𝐵𝐵𝐿𝐸𝑃𝛰𝑇
♫ “We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you?” 400 Lux by Lorde
Number one spoiler!
No seriously, good luck. You are basically Martin #2. He's buying the most extravagant gifts, and hosting the birthday party. He's getting mad at Jervis and Jerome (anyone who can't keep there mouth shut for the surprise.)
Hectically organizing this whole mess. To his best ability. Eventually he gives up under the stress and you'll notice. Just have a little sit down with him, and he'll HAPPILY celebrate your birthday far away from everyone else.
Once you two have a minute alone, he's making you his mothers tea, telling you all about his birthdays and how she used to celebrate them with him. He really just wants to make this the best day for you possible.
Have a small little laugh with him on the couch, look at baby pictures of him around the mansion, watch him get red in the face and scowl just a teeny tiny bit.
He'll also scroll through your phone (he's horrible with technology) and look at your baby pictures too. You two end up having a good laugh and a semi-serious talk about childhood memories <3
He'll end up giving you his most personal gift when you two are alone, away from the "cretins outside" in his words.
Tumblr media
𝐽𝐸𝑅𝛰𝑀𝐸 𝑉𝐴𝐿𝐸𝑆𝐾𝐴
♫ “We might be hollow but we're brave.” 400 Lux by Lorde
The only time he's 100 percent serious is when he's busy with the sheer EFFORT he's putting into this celebration.
Him and Oswald have conflicting ideas. Oswald wants something extravagant, royal, fit for you, like a coming of age. Jerome still wants to throw you a ball, but more like a child's dream chucky-cheese type birthday.
What do you mean he can't get a bunch of arcade machines and a ball pit delivered to the mansion? He's pouting.
He'll be DAMNED if he doesn't book the entertainment and a GIANT cake, though.
Will get Jervis to hypnotize some poor sap to dance for you. You know, if you're into that. Might kill him too if you're a little evil like him. If you aren't into that, he'll let him live. That's your gift :>
Did i say a GIANT cake? Yeah. It's massive. FUCKING MASSIVE. He probably ends up eating more of it then you guys, to be honest.
Makes sure it's your favorite flavor too.
Makes everyone sit down when it's time for cake and candles, if anyone tries to get up he's screaming at the top of his lungs.
Remember that "USE THE TONGS, CARL!" Yeah, he's channeling that energy to the hypnotized people cutting the cake and setting the table.
Fully looks at you like a successor (and like, his only real friend) so he's a bit pushy for this to go well. Not as much as Oswald, but still set on making this a good day for you. He just isn't as overt.
Tumblr media
𝐵𝑅𝐼𝐷𝐺𝐼𝑇 𝑃𝐼𝐾𝐸
♫ “And the heating comes on.” 400 Lux by Lorde
Poor baby has never seen, attended, or had a birthday party in her life. It's new for her, it's intriguing. She loves this little strange family you guys have created.
You are LITERALLY her little sister, the only sibling she truly sees as her own!
It's obligatory for her to light the birthday candles (and almost burn the mansion down, chaos ensues)
Similar to Oswald, she gives you one intimate gift. Something she knows you'll love, something personal. You're favorite flowers, gems, or even a nod to an inside joke.
Arguing with Victor (Fries) about who has the better gift and who you like more.
When the day is nearing it's end, she volunteers to clean up to have some time alone with you. Everyone else is winding down, but you and her will get to talk like two best friends.
It's the only time she feels like a normal teenage girl. Just gossiping with you while putting Jerome's confetti in trash bags.
You'll probably have a little slumber party with her in the living room, eating left-over snacks and watching TV, throwing popcorn at each other. Speaking of popcorn....
"Hey, watch this!" She's nudging you, getting you to watch her make her own popcorn kernels with her flamethrower, signature smile on her face :>
Tumblr media
𝐽𝐸𝑅𝑉𝐼𝑆 𝑇𝐸𝑇𝐶𝐻
♫ “You drape your wrists over the steering wheel.” 400 Lux by Lorde
He was fighting tooth and nail for this to be a tea party. Still upset it's not. Ended up still hypnotizing someone to make tea for you all. Ah, Small victories.
Also? We saw him in that chauffer outfit. He will gladly be the designated driver.
Similar to the rest of them, he wants some time alone with you. So, he's hypnotizing a limo and pulling up and practically stealing you away.
Takes you on a little shopping spree. Anywhere you want to go, he'll take you there! Even if he doesn't particularly enjoy it. (cough cough, convince stores, cough cough)
Wants to take you to the tea shoppes and bakeries.
He is LITERALLY the most BUSY bee out of EVERYONE. Everyone is so obsessed with planning and whatnot, but he actually has to do EVERYTHING by himself.
Whose hypnotizing the cake maker, the gifts, the decorations, the people, the waiters? Ah, the list goes on and on. He's a bit tuckered out by the time you too are done shopping and he's off his list of errands.
Have a cup of tea with him after <3 he will be infinitely grateful to wind down with you if you find the time during the day.
Sings happy birthday obnoxiously loud for you. He also insists everyone has perfect table manners and etiquette. (Looking at you, Jerome.)
Tumblr media
𝐽𝛰𝑁𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑁 𝐶𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐸
♫ “I can tell that you're tired.” 400 Lux by Lorde
Silent, for the most part. Will refuse to sing happy birthday, and will truly only participate if it's the two of you alone. He...doesn't work well in groups.
He's getting a slap on the wrist from everyone because of it.
He'd MUCH rather steal you away periodically through the day, to just talk to you about your childhood. Congratulate you. He's happy for you, but he's a little scared you're getting older.
Very protective. Always. No matter what.
You might hear him laugh a bit, joke around with you, just simply checking the surroundings and chaos from Jerome.
If you are someone who prefers things more lowkey, you'll find yourself spending the majority of the day with Jonathan. Eventually you two will just pass by each other every now and then, and share a brief respite from the bustling outside.
You are TRULY his best friend. He wants to make this day as good for you as everyone else does. He just doesn't know where to start.
He'll probably end up giving you your favorite gift out of EVERYONE.
Doesn't matter what it is. He'll know. It will be intimate, genuine, and a very heartfelt message on the bottom of a card attached.
"Love you, Y/N." -Jonathan
Okay, not SUPER heartfelt at first look, but for him? It's as close as you'll get to him being vulnerable.
Tumblr media
𝑉𝐼𝐶𝑇𝛰𝑅 𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑆
♫ “We're getting good at this.” 400 Lux by Lorde
Jerome puts him on ice-cream duty and he's reasonably grumpy.
No, but genuinely, this is a VERY special day for him. He's a VERY proud dad!
Always wanted to have kids with Nora. Never got a chance. You really are his second chance at happiness, and he loves you so much. He gets to live out everything he thought he'd never be able too.
Wants to get more involved, but gets a little pushed out between Jerome and Oz.
Jerome probably makes him make ice sculptures. Or Ozzie asks him to freeze the body of your enemies. Perfect gift!
Similar to Jonathan, likes to keep things more lowkey. He'll sneak in a pseudo father daughter bonding moment, even if you don't know.
"So, uh, you're staying out trouble, right?"
He's asking, nudging you when you two finally get a moment alone. His voice comes out in a mumble, obviously not very experienced in this role of being a father. But he can't help it.
Overprotective dad scowling at Zsasz, you know, to get the point across. Zsasz staring riiiiiiight back.
"Just so you know...if you break her heart, I'm freezing yours." Victor #1 says, with a clicking sound, and a raise of his gun.
Victor #2 raises a non-existent eyebrow, and lifts his own gun in return. "Of course..." He drawls. The idle threats are there.
Tumblr media
𝑉𝐼𝐶𝑇𝛰𝑅 𝑍𝑆𝐴𝑆𝑍
♫ “You pick me up and take me home again / We're hollow like the bottles that we drain.” 400 Lux by Lorde
He's a loving boyfriend, you just have to get through his layers throughout the day!
Of course, he's your ride to and from the mansion. Driving with him, his hand on your thigh, disco music. Waking you up with kisses and birthday sex
He's grumbling just a bit everyone else wants to steal you away. Que him being a sassy boyfriend, rolling his eyes.
He ends up just standing around the mansion most of the day, sneaking bites of pastries or making idle conversation with the terrified waiters, while you are out with Jervis. He doesn't mind. It's your day. He is more then happy, this is his element. A whole day dedicated to his girl, and free food? Sign him up.
In contrast to everyone, he's the only person to give you a gag gift. Surprisingly, Jerome takes this too seriously to give you one. Victor doesn't, though. He'll give you a whole bunch of small gag gifts, just to see that beautiful smile on your face.
He'll end up getting you a real gift though. Something precious, gorgeous, elegant. Something absolutely killer. Black onyx necklace? Yes. You'll feel the leather of his gloves on your neck while he puts it on you.
Doesn't care if ANYONE looks at the two of you weirdly for the age gap. In fact, he'll become even MORE affectionate. Y'know, just to piss people off.
Speaking of age, he doesn't care you aren't 21 just yet. He's 100% sneaking the two of you some alcohol to drink. (Not without teasing you, of course, for being a downright horrible criminal!)
Oswald, Victor Fries, and Jervis don't appreciate you drinking. They are too protective. But Zsasz doesn't gaf what they say :>
Tumblr media
26 notes · View notes
consumedbyfeels · 1 day
Text
Ashes to Ashes Spoilers
Okay so I am not okay after "Ashes to Ashes"
spoilers below
First off I love how proud Buck looks when Tommy gets his award.
And go Chim put Gerrald in his place, Also I hate him but you have to admit "I heard you got your wings" was a clever way to insult Tommy, it doesn't even sound inherently like an insult so A+ for creativity even if you are being a dick.
I just love the Gerrald a man who is playing prejudice bingo and winning had to watch a gay man, a bisexual man, a hispanic man, a asian man and a black lesbian receive awards and play nice and be professional while doing so, He must have hated every moment and I love it.
LEAVE HENREN ALONE!!!! WTF they are best parents Mara could have and they were so close to being family. I know they are going to fight like hell for her and the firefam with be with them every step of the way, but damn that women has it out for Hen and she has the power to make her life hell. I hope they can win but I'm scared, that is a powerful enemy to have.
Also Buck being a good friend to Eddie about the whole Kim thing and being supportive but also lowkey knocking sense into him. I have to admit my favorite part is eddie being confuse whos at his back door and even more confused when it's buck who asks if he can come in as if he doesn't have a key and barges in whenever he wants.
Eddie confronting his feeling over Shannon and finally getting closer is going to be great for him after it blows things up a bit. Marosal and Chris could not have had worse timing but it'll end for the better I believe. I just wanted to give Eddie a big hug in that scene, I was about to start crying with him. Poor baby.
Also bobby telling Buck he knows Tommy is a good man because they haven't had to talk about it is amazing. We love a supportive dad.
Athena honey, "there is a part of you I could never touch" ouch. My Bathena heart.
Nooo Bobby better be okay, I just know the next episode is going to be heartbreaking.
You can see Amir getting angry as he looks at the photos. Bobby is going to blame himself and that's going to spiral into something bad. Athena's going to blame herself because she asked Amir to come over and everything and now Bobby is hurt.
Also where is Harry during the fire? May is probably at her place but Harry was staying with them. I'm guessing he wasn't there cuz neither of them went all Papa/Mama Bear but I'm gonna need confirmation of this fact pleas ABC.
I hope Bobby lives and stays at the 118.
They really set up for all kinds of heartbreak in this episode. There was a lot packed into this week.
Why is everything but Tevan and Madney a dumpster fire holy shit, I am not okay. Don't get me wrong I am happy Tevan and Madney are thriving they deserve it but damn,
If you need me I will be consoling my broken heart by reading/writing Tevan fics.
23 notes · View notes
mistabonbon · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
0 notes
mod2amaryllis · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pepper passed away this morning. last night jose called me over while tending them; she was dehydrated, lethargic, wheezing, I'd played with her normally the day before. she's been slowing down with age, but this was a crash. we gave her water and heat support, i was planning to bring her in to work first thing this morning, but when we woke up she was gone in the same cozy position we left her in. i believe she just faded peacefully.
we're pretty devastated. she was 14, our first animal, we've had her almost half our lives. she was very much jose's baby. it really hit me when i carried her to my clinic and prepped her for cremation; that's a task i do frequently after euthanasia and it's become a kind of ritual, but carrying your own animal is just so different. I'm really sad.
34 notes · View notes
ratinthevoid · 2 months
Text
why did i believe i can ever come out to her
11 notes · View notes
thewritingpossum · 6 days
Text
Currently rereading this french scifi book that's all about a bunch of medievalish people building this absurdly high cathedral (and by 'high' i mean that none of the living human in this book ever got out of what they call the cathedral and touched the actual ground)in an attempt to reach God but then the big plot twist is that the ruling class are actually a bunch of almost immortal alien beings who accidentally crashed on Earth during the actual Middle Ages, need to be at a certain height to launch their rocket and go back to their planet and therefore used the people's faith and whatever ingineering they had at this point to reach their goals, not caring that it would take centuries and centuries because it's litterally just a few hours for them and honestly this could be such a cool movie, somebody please adapt this thing right now
4 notes · View notes
48787 · 2 months
Text
New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission
New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF
#yippie peace through tyranny!!#nemesis posting#Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles#Matrix Visions#I like this “chat” font I think it's cool#spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately#I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time#wegh. It'll get done. Eventually.#I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe#I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much#Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does.#I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes.#Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons*#But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler.#Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit!#Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe#I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff#It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe!#And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!!#My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests!#It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion?#Still figuring that part out!!#Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun
6 notes · View notes
sailor-aviator · 8 months
Text
.
#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
11 notes · View notes
bonesrbleaching · 2 months
Text
had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
6 notes · View notes
windfighter · 5 months
Text
The worst part about hanging out in Ren's stream is that it's making me feel sad about my family thinking I shouldn't exist. Usually I'm just angry at them, but Ren keeps talking about how family is the most important thing and we should call our parents and tell them how much we love them and I'm just
My mother told me to my face that people like me shouldn't exist
My brother told me it was my own fault if they made me feel like I shouldn't exist
And I'm just... Hearing mr Streamer tell me I should call them and say how much I love them just... hurts.
2 notes · View notes
transgender-catboy · 7 months
Text
I love my friends
#i think im just going to talk in the tags for a moment. got a lot on my mind#for starters. the fnaf movie comes out soon. really looking forward to that. think its gonna be awesome and amazing and I'm super excited!!!#secondly. waiting on funds so i can buy that mask i saw the other day and some Halloween candy from Walmart#i . want to do little goodie bags for the kids in my building. but im too scared to go up to their parents and ask candy preference and#allergy concerns. so. idk. maybe I'll just save it. I think it's a cute concept but it makes me feel like my mother.#she loved to do little gift things for people. but it was always people that didn't like her. i don't want to be that way#i know my value. i know my time and energy means something. i don't want to waste it on people who don't give a shit. ya know?#not saying the kids are those kinds of people. not what i mean. but just as an overall thing. i don't like being like her.#...yeah. i dunno. you get raised by one person your whole life. you pick up some of their characteristics#i can't sob without sounding like her. safe to say i am a little emotionally constipated. so i seek other means to relieve that feeling.#like yesterday when i threw up. i played it off like that was a blunder on my body. but i know what i did.#hey. at least it's not the other method. right?. .. yeah. okay. i know. not great either#but it hurts. and I'm so fucking sick and tired of crying over her. genuinely. it's exhausting crying all the time#but that's the only way I can get those emotions out#I've tried to do the counseling thing. but other things made that impossible. then i moved.#and i tried the grief thing but instead i just got a talking buddy? he helps me get out of the house yeah.#but we dont talk about her#... i dunno. I'm just here.#guess i waited long enough. now you get a mini secret. every time i make an i love my friends post. I'm reminding myself why I'm still going#I'm usually sitting around somewhere in my apartment (desk couch bed) crying. alone. thinking about you guys.#so uh. thank you.#i love you guys so much. and i don't know where I'd be without you#probably dead.#💖#vent
5 notes · View notes
I think it's a little strange of me to be hyperfocusing this much on what trauma was done to Jonathan Harker but I think what it is is the novel lets the audience in on all the quite severe and longlasting repercussions of Jonathan's ordeal but only hints at what the trauma actually is and that's driving my imagination wild. The pure insanity, the fact that he just slipped into an immediate disassociative state the second he saw Dracula, the fact that according to Mina he is having fully immersive nightmares where he doesn't know where he is and she has to talk him back to himself. When Seward's like "he looks like an old man now" like that's all so real and vivid and my Friend Jonathan Harker was hurt really badly yet it's never confirmed by Stoker that he was even bitten like I need the details I need to know what exactly happened to my good friend Jonathan Harker that made him suffer this much.
42 notes · View notes
oceanwithinsblog · 10 months
Text
honestly? at times it's so hard to deal with the fact that adulthood means working every week, having so little time to take care of yourself and the people you care about, having trouble at planning a meet up or an outing with your friend(s), having to decide what hobbies you want to pursue and which ones you're willing (or forced) to give up, organizing all your expenses and purchases, letting yourself be vulnerable and understanding that being alone is important and you have to spend some quality time on your own as you can't totally rely on people being there for you.
at times adulthood hits me so hard and makes me feel so little, powerless and lonely that i truly despise it. but there's no going back.
5 notes · View notes
Text
this might sound bad but it is comforting to know that suicide is always an option
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes