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#that said i think i am on the whole doing better than i was this time last year? like i have a bit of a social life again
drchucktingle · 2 hours
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POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS
wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible
plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat
figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)
basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning
problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this
more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).
i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'
so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine
you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland
the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)
so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate
but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.
point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE
so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist
thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos
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jacaerysgf · 2 days
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Ignored
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Summary: Based on two requests; You had been best friends with Jacaerys since you were kids. But when he gets a girlfriend and joins the football team in college your whole life gets turned upside down and he's suddenly ditched you. A year after you are confronted by him and emotions spill to the surface.
w.c: 2.7k
c.w: Porn with plot, sub!jace, hand job, overstimulation, p in v, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP), car sex, im not good at angry sex or mean stuff guys so sorry,
masterlist
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One year. one fucking year since you’ve last spoken to him. You never imagined the two of you would end up like this.
He gets on the college football team and gets some hot girlfriend and suddenly he’s too good for you. You doubt he’s even noticed. It was slow to start, he started being busy during your weekly hang outs, then it would slip his mind to text you back, then he just suddenly stopped texting you. You had been replaced, you would always spend the holidays with his family but this past year you had seen Lucerys post on his insta holiday pictures and she was there instead. Everyone else in his family had reached out to you at some point. usually something along the lines of a happy holidays and that they hoped to see you soon, that they missed you. They even wished you happy birthday. He didn’t.
You had gotten to the point you stopped answering his family's texts, it made you feel sick when Lucerys asked if you would come to his birthday party and you didn’t have the heart to reply to him. You stopped checking their socials, even going as far as to mute them but you didn’t have the heart to unfollow them. then it would get too real, that the people you’ve considered family since you were basically a baby were no longer around.
You wish you didn’t miss him. You wish when started at your aunts gravestone he was not the face that appeared in your mind when you wished you had someone to comfort you. She had died six months ago, you hadn’t even bothered to text him about it. He met her a couple times, but its not like he would care now.
You do not cry for her anymore. Having come far enough in your grief, but you feel yourself come to a halt when you are walking through the graveyard and are stopped by a familiar family.
“Y/n?” You feel a knot grow in your throat. Why were they here? you could see lucerys was holding some flowers. “Hello.” What else are you supposed to say? You are frozen in place as lucerys walks over and throws his arms around you. “I missed you.” You try not to let your tears spill down your face as Lucerys pulls back and looks at you alarmed, “Are you okay?”
You laugh and cover your face with your hands, unable to even describe what you’re feeling. “You’re so tall.” Your voice cracks as you speak and he slaps you on the shoulder. “’Course i am, had to get taller than mr prince charming over there.”
You don’t want to look at him. You wish he was not even there. But you cannot help yourself the way your eyes drift to where Lucerys is referring to and you wish you hadn’t. He is as beautiful as he was the last day you saw him, he looks like he just came out of a romcom, a long trench coat covering him and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. You have no clue what he’s thinking, his face giving nothing away, cant take your eyes off him. The way his eyes have a gloss over them as he takes a couple steps towards you.
You swiftly turn away from his and notice rhaenyra standing at your side and she reaches out a grips your forearm. “It is so wonderful to see you dear.” You nod and smile at her, “It is always a pleasure Ms. Targaryen.” she hits your arm, “You stay away for a couple months and suddenly I’m Ms. Targaryen, call me rhaenyra dear you know better.” You want to correct her, tell her its been over a year. yet you don't, only nodding and apologizing to her.
“What are you doing here?” Its the first words he’s said to you in god knows how long. You swear your knees almost crumple at the sound of his voice. You want to punch him, spit in his face, you wish you hated him. “My aunt died.” You spit at the ground, you voice coming out angrier than you indented it to.
The people around you immediately flood around to give their condolences. You thank them, Lucerys especially kept you in a deep hug and mentioned how they came today to see rhaenyra's father but they'll make sure to stop by your aunt’s grave.
He says nothing. nothing at all. You hate him. You hate him so much. But you cant say no when they ask if you’ll join them to see viserys and your aunt. you cant even say no when they offer you to join them for dinner.
you two say nothing to each other, not until you say you’ll drive in your car on the way there and turn to walk towards it, still having the map to their house memorized until you are stopped, a hand gripping on your forearm.
“Can i ride with you?” You don't turn around to look at him. Continuing to stare straight ahead, your heart and head churning. You want to tell him no, that you don't wish to ever even see him again. “Please.”
“Fine.”
But you're a pussy. the biggest punk in the whole world as you watch him slide into the passenger seat as you close the drivers door. A silence fills the space between you two, you don't want to speak, a part of you hopes it will stay that way.
“What happened with us?” You harshly break at the red light and whip your head towards him. Rage boiling at your skin as you hiss at him, “What happened? What do you mean what happened? You're the one who ditched me!”
“What the fuck are you taking about?” “Oh so you’re just gonna act like you didn't fucking stop talking to me after you a girlfriend? What is her name? i don't even fucking know because you never introduced us.” A loud honk behind you forced you to turn your head away from him and back on the road, you swear your knuckles turned white from the pressure you were squeezing it.
“i-” “No. Because you know what Jace. Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid face and your stupid girlfriend and your stupid friends because you fucking left me. You have no reason to sit around and ask me what the fuck happened between us because it was all because of you. i put in the effort to reach out i even sent you a fucking gift for your birthday because you couldn't spare the time to hang with me and you don't even text me a happy fucking birthday?!? Fuck you man.”
Your hands slam down on the wheel in frustration as you clench your jaw, the fucking nerve of this guy. You don’t even spare him another glance and he doesn't dare to say anything else for awhile. the drive is long, they were buried far out from your homes so the drive was over an hour.
it takes twenty minutes before he says anything. “I’m sorry.” It comes out strained, if you looked at him he would probably be crying but you do not dare look at him. “I wish i could explain to you why i did it, why i acted like that. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry i just think i liked the attention, i liked having people fawn over me. And her, fuck i don't know, i liked her sure, but she fucking cheated on me with one of the guys on the team, told me she only got with me to get closer to him. Its not an excuse, i should have never put what we had down the drain for someone that never really mattered because you, you matter to me more than anyone else. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, ill say it forever because i don't deserve your forgiveness.”
You pull over into a road side parking lot because you couldn't see the road anymore. Your eyes filled with tears as your shoulders shook with silent sobs, “I am sorry i made you feel this way, that you couldn't even come to me when she died, i liked it, i remember she gave me the toy car display i still have in my room fuck i can't even imagine how you must feel. I miss you. I miss you so much.”
You put your head against the wheel and allow yourself to sob. This is all you’ve wanted to hear for so long that now you have no clue how to feel. You want to tell him to fuck off. That he has no reason to be begging for your forgiveness now.
“Jacaerys,” You swear you hear it wrong, that you must be confused. He whimpers. “No please,” “Its dragged out in a way that has your stomach churning and you shift in your seat. “Don’t call me Jacaerys, Jace please.”
You must be strong. You cannot give into to his sad puppy eyes and cries. Yet you look over to him and feel your resolve crumble. He has tears streaming down his face. He’s looking at you. Has he been looking at you this whole time? “You left me Jace.” He lets out a trembled breath as he dares with shaky hands to grab yours. “I'm sorry. I will beg you to forgive me till the end of time because i will never deserve it. I need you.”
Your heart pounds against your chest as the two of you stare at one another. You feel your hands shake in his grip as the two of you unknowingly move closer to each other.
“I realized after i found out what she had done i was more upset about the fact you were not there more than anything. She had begged me to take her back but the only thing i could think about was you. I was so stupid and so blind i will never forgive myself. You are everything to me.”
“Jace,” He cups your cheeks and lets out a trembled breath, “I was a fool to let you go. I will never make that mistake again,” You cannot believe what is happening, he does not truly mean what you think he’s saying does he? “I had months to think it over. I am so madly in love with you. If you do not feel the same i will act like this never happened and we can just go back to being friends or even if you cannot stomach being around me we can just never talk but-”
He lets out a surprised moan as you shove your lips against his and eagerly pressed his lips against yours. He a lot more vocal than you had expected him to be, eagerly humming against your lips as his hands have moved to your neck.
He lets out a shocked gasp when you push him back into his seat and looks at you with wide eyes as you climb over his lap, pulling the level to have him lay over his back and simply stare at him as you hover above him. He whimpers as you grab the front of his shirt and pull him towards your face, “This is for me. Not you. Right?” He eagerly nods, more than willing to take anything you’ll give him.
He whines as you unbutton his black dress pants and waste no time shoving your hand past his boxers and gripping onto his dick. His head is thrown backwards as you rub your thumb against his tip, ignoring his mumbles until enough precum has dripped down onto your hand before you begin vigorously pumping him up and down.
You do not stop even as he’s asking you to slow down. Well you do, but it is always right before he’s about to come. You do this again. and again. and again. He feels like he’s about to burst, the stimulation is too much for him to bare.
“Please.” You tilt your head at him as he grips the front of your button down shirt. “What do you want?” Your words are spoken like he a stranger approaching you on the street, he whimpers and shoves his head into your chest, his tears threatening to spill out. “Please,”
“awe are you so fucked out you have no clue what you’re talking about huh?” He’s babbling nonsense as you feel his tears pool into your shirt. You fully remove your hands off him for the fourth time and he thinks he might crack. “Please no I’m sorry I’m sorry please please just let me,,” His words trail off as he watches you fully release him from his pants and boxers, his breath shaky as he watches you pool up your shirt and move to hover above him.
“Please please.” “Shut the fuck up.” He whimpers as his tip presses against your folds but you don’t him in enter yet, simply allowing his tip to be dragged up and down your slit. He throws his head back as the tears continue to flow down his face, he can’t take this, his hips rise up to try and thrust into you but you hold him down and spit at him. “You don’t know how to behave slut.”
He lets out a surprised gurgle of sounds when you suddenly slam all the way down onto him and lightly slap him across the face. “Are you happy now slut? You happy your little loser friend is fucking you stupid?”
He can barely speak as you begin to bounce up and down on him. He’s dreamed of this for much longer than he’d like to admit but this is much better than anything he could have imagined. The way your lightly let out sounds of delight are like music to his ears. He wishes he could say something but over the heat that flows over his body and the way he feels your hands slip under his shirt and begin to rub up and down his chest he can’t find the words.
He keeps his hands at his side, not knowing if he is allowed to touch you not wishing to upset you more than he already has. You notice the way his hands twitch and slightly raise as if he wants to reach out to you. You slow down for a moment to grab his hands and place them on your chest, a wordless exchange between the two of you as he stares at you in wonder. So much love fills his gaze you almost flush with embarrassment. You begin to pick up your pace once again as he fondles you over your clothes.
The pit grows larger in his stomach much faster than he would like but due to the overstimulation and the overflowing of emotions he’s on the edge. “I’m so close.”
“Hold it.” He whines and watches as one of your hands slip under your skirt, “You think you should be allowed to cum before me?” He shakes his head, of course not, he doesn’t deserve too.
He swears he almost cums from your blissed out face alone, but he is surprised he manages to contain himself until he feels you throb and your essence drips around him. You slowly lift off him and pump him until his cum drips down your hands.
The car windows are foggy, you have no clue how long you’ve been out here but the sun as begun to set as you allow yourself to fall against his chest, feeling the way his heart beats erratically as his arms come to wrap around you.
“I don’t forgive you,” He feels his heart drop as he gulps, bracing himself for you to lift off him and drop him off at his house, never to speak to him again. “But i think i can one day, you just have to take me out on a couple dates first.”
He grins.
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Perm Jacaerys taglist
@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife @jacesvelaryons
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 21 hours
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Charlie: “This is the worst idea we’ve ever had.”
Vaggie: “Do we have a better one?”
Charlie: “Give up before I burn down half of Pentagram City??”
Vaggie: “That’s plan B, babe.”
Charlie: “It’s gonna be plan A for Already Happening at this rate!”
Vaggie: “Look, I don’t like it any more than you do-”
Charlie: “THEN SWITCH WITH ME!”
Angel Dust: “Said the bi lady to her lesbian lover.”
Charlie: “I’M NOT LOVING THIS! Why can’t I be the on who has to do the fake date thing!? At least I’ve dated guys before! Once!!!”
Vaggie: “Because-”
Alastor: “Ha ha HA… My dear, I’m afraid I DO prefer living, amusingly enough~”
Charlie: “Then keep the touching. To a MINIMUM.”
Vaggie: “Sweetie, the whole point is to trick people into thinking I’ve double crossed you so they’ll tell us about how they wanna double cross you. It’s not really going to work if the one selling you out is… you.”
Charlie: “But this is stupid- no one in their right mind is going to look at YOU and think ‘now THERE’S a woman who would date a MAN!’”
Angel Dust: “Biphobia~”
Husk: “Still fucking true.”
Vaggie: “Charlie c’mon- If you were a dude I’d date you.”
Charlie: “You’d figure out how to still be lesbian about it, trust me.”
Alastor: “Now there’s a thought! I COULD do my best impression of a lesbian, if that would help with the immersion?”
Vaggie: “What, like. Wear a pin?”
Charlie: “I do NOT need this situation to be in any way believable! The structural integrity of our HOTEL does NOT need me feeling this is even slightly more real.”
Alastor: “But our foes do require enough to be fooled by, I am afraid.”
Angel Dust: “Well that’s this plan out the window…”
Vaggie: “I can’t picture you as a lesbian.”
Angel Dust: “He’s not giving guy fucker vibes either, toots, bein’ fair.”
Husk: “It’s just fucker. In a platonic, shitty way.”
Alastor: “And you would know, hmmm~?”
Charlie: “Can’t we just dress me up as someone else?? Put me in a glamor, or-”
Vaggie: “No one is gonna hear you talk and not know who you are."
Charlie: "RRRGH."
Vaggie: "Which I love, by the way. Along with everything else.”
Charlie: “Well what if I just don’t talk! You- you could be into the silent, brooding types!”
Vaggie: “If I’d met you during the emo phase then yeah sure. But Alastor's the one who knows these assholes-”
Angel Dust: “WAIT go back- her WHAT phase!?”
Charlie: (SQUEAKS)
Vaggie: “Em… emoticon. Her. Emoji era.”
Angel Dust: “She was emo??” (at charlie) “YOU WERE EMO!?!? With the hair dye an’ the dead roses and shit????”
Charlie: “I was a TEEN! Kinda!! I was, barely through my first four decades of life-!”
Vaggie: “And dealing with a lot.”
Charlie: “-the whole ‘oh all of creation hates your home and you and everyone you love’ thing was starting to sink in, as well as all the, the murder and stuff happening just outside our house-”
Vaggie: “The hair dye made her happy so shut up.”
Angel Dust: “Oh we GOTTA get you back in your emo duds someday, Charlie Chip! This is GOLDEN!”
Alastor: “What, my dears, is an emo phase?”
Husk: “Angry at the world and making it the world’s problem by staying in your fucking room with the lights dim as fuck, turning it into a 3D model of all your psychological hang-ups and listening to tortured screams and shit.”
Alastor: “Ah. A lovely Saturday afternoon. I DO enjoy those.”
Everyone Else: “…..”
Alastor: “?”
Angel Dust: “Alright. So he’s maybe got some teen girl vibes goin’ on. That’s a start ain’t it?”
Vaggie: “….maybe we could say I lost my soul to him in a bet or something.”
Charlie: “Don’t even JOKE about that!!!!!”
Husk: “Fucking copycat.”
Angel Dust: “Copy what, Mr. kittens?”
Husk: (hisses)
Alastor: “Now now, Husk. Play NICE.”
Husk: “…you got it, boss.”
Alastor: (pats his head) "Very good."
Angel Dust: (CRINGING)
Charlie: "Alastor- could you um, maybe not??"
Alastor: "Hmm? Not what, my dear?"
Vaggie: "Oh you fucking KNOW what, pendejo." (glares) “Fuck the fake soul selling. I’d probably kill him if he talked to me like that.”
Alastor: “That MIGHT put a damper on our budding relationship, ha ha!”
Vaggie: “Touch me and you WILL die.”
Alastor: “Oh ho! A long distance romance I see!”
Vaggie: “That’s not convincing anyone either. You hold still, I’ll, ugh.” (grimace) “Touch your arm or something.”
Husk: “Eugh.”
Angel Dust: “Basic house rules.” (shrug) “Maybe it’ll work?”
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
Vaggie: “Charlie it’s just for one evening-”
Charlie: “No. Just, just let all of hell plot against me! It’s fine.”
Vaggie: “Babe that is so not fine.”
Charlie: “It’s fine!!!”
Husk: “Carpet’s on fucking fire.”
Charlie: “Shit. Alastor- I need you to step away from Vaggie before I burn the hotel to the ground, starting with you.”
Vaggie: “Hot.”
Angel Dust: “Siiiiimp...”
Husk: (smirk)
Alastor: “I suppose disguising me as a FLAMING lesbian would be a BIT much.” (steps away) "Better?"
Charlie: (hugging vaggie) “Further please, Alastor. Further. A, a little more? Mm- no, further than that…”
(many steps later)
Charlie: “Juuuust a few more steps…”
Charlie: “Okay! I think I can finally be comfortable with this!!!”
Vaggie: “He can’t hear you, sweetie. He's half way across the hotel.”
Charlie: “Oh.”
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armoricaroyalty · 23 hours
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Freddy and Emily's engagement interview
212 comments
👼🏻 PrettyInPink: The very definition of poise and class! Emily is such a breath of fresh air. 👍 363 🪦 DressedInDark: parasites 👍 301 👑 Agnes Crumblebottom: May the Saints bless Her Majesty Queen Elise. Of the Armoricans and Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Rosalind. I pray every Day for our royal family! Amen! 👍 154 👼🏻 PrettyInPink: @ 🪦 DressedInDark Why are you watching videos about the royal family if you don't like them! 👍 267 🪦 DressedInDark: @ 👼🏻 PrettyInPink lmao can't handle criticism of your emotional support parasites 👍 103 👪 Mom of Three: I was always Team Freddy everyone else in my year was a Jacques girl 👍 78 👼🏻 PrettyInPink: @ 🪦 DressedInDark Parasites by definition harm their host, but the Armorican royal family contribute more annually to the economy than they receive each year from the Royal Grant. 👍 11 🪦 DressedInDark: parasite parasite parasite parasite 👍 7
Previous | Chapter Start | Beginning | Next
author's note: about six months ago, I solicited audience questions for their engagement interview and I am only just now using them RIP. The interview is below the cut xoxoxo
Q. The first question is for Prince Frederick, from @whitmoretroyals. How did you propose?
FREDERICK. I went into it without a plan, if you can believe that. [laughs] I had just spoken to my father, and I had the ring burning a hole in my pocket. Maybe I should have planned the whole thing out better, but I just found her and knelt down and…
EMILY. He came right out with it.
F. I did.
E. He did! He just said “I love you, I can’t live without you. Marry me?” No romantic speeches for me! [laughs] But that’s just not his style.
Q. How did you realize she was the one?
F. I don’t think there was a single moment. We were quite serious about one another from the beginning. Just from the very start, it was clear that this relationship was different—that she was different—from anything I’d ever experienced.
Q. Different how?
F. Different in every way! [ laughs ] More thoughtful, more sophisticated…most relationships I’ve had, it started out just fooling around, just having fun, and then months in, it was like, “who are we, what are we doing?” So right away, it was different with Emily because we both knew that we wanted something more than that.
E. We were quite committed from the outset. I think that frightened him a little. Early on, I remember him saying, “if this isn’t what you really want, you don’t have to go through with this,” and I was surprised like, “why wouldn’t I want this? I care about you.”
F. I was worried about the press. It can be a lot to handle, no offense.  [ laughs ] But she’s brilliant, an absolute natural. That’s really been the best part of all of this, seeing the whole world fall in love with her just like I did.
Q. Lady Emily, as you prepare to join the royal family, how do you envision using your position to make a positive impact or support causes close to your heart?
E. Being a member of the royal family is, of course, a tremendous responsibility. I think we’re all aware of how much work, how much real work, the royal family does for the people of Armorica. I’m very eager to join the family and to be part of all that, and to contribute in whatever small way I can.
F. She already does a lot, for the royal family and for me. She’s really supported my work with the arts. The work we did in Uspana, the museum exhibit, wouldn’t have been possible without her, for example. That’s why it felt like the right moment to announce our engagement and to celebrate it at the opening, because it had really become such a shared thing, such a reflection of who we are, as a couple.
Q. You’re quite fortunate to work so closely together, but of course, work isn’t everything. @crownsofesha asked, what you do together for fun?
F. Right now? We plan weddings. [ laughs ]
E. [ laughs ] It’s taking up a lot of our time, that’s for sure.
F. We’re both very excited for it, of course. We’re really looking forward to having everyone come together to celebrate with us, and we want to make sure that it’s something very special.
E. It’s important for both of us to incorporate a lot of our families’ traditions, but of course our families have very different traditions! And with it being a royal wedding, we have to make things very proper. So we’ve been working closely with Her Majesty and with my own parents to make sure that we have a chance to incorporate all of these different elements and little things that are so important to both of us and to our families.
F. It’s going to be really amazing. I can’t wait until September.
Q. Do you have any plans to start a family together? This one is from @thewoodslegacy
E. Well…
F. We’re still working on the wedding. [ laughs ] One thing at a time!
E. Of course we’d like to, someday.
F. Someday. Yeah. Obviously, we’d both like to be parents. And it’s kind of required, for a royal. [ laughs ] I know my parents are really eager for more grandchildren. [ to Emily ] What about it? Should we give Hugo a cousin?
E. Frederick!
F. She’s going to be an incredible mother, of course. She is incredible at everything she does.
E. [ softer ] Frederick...
Q. @rebouks asks: Where do you see yourselves in five years? Ten?
F. Well, I want to be a father. That’s been established. [ laughs ]
E. It’s a little hard to answer. My life is going to change so much that I think it's quite hard, in some ways, to think ahead. He's been amazing at getting me up to speed, and it's helpful to have a...
F. A shared background?
E. Right, we have sort of a...a shared pool of references. When you have a lot in common, that makes things easier. [ laughs ] But in five years, I want to be established and confident in my role, whatever that ends up being. [ softer ] I'd like to have a child.
F. I think for me, my goal is to just keep expanding the work we do. There are a lot of causes I’m passionate about, and I think that I can do a lot to kind of bring more attention to them. I want to raise awareness, and I want to do more in service to the Crown.
E. Of course. Like I said earlier, service is a big part of it for me, as well. [ pause ] I think we do that very well together.
F. We do. I guess that’s my real answer. In 10 years, I see myself with her.
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hearts444innie · 2 days
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Stop overworking yourself
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Lee: Chan 🐺
Ler: Felix ☀️
🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁
It was around 12 am and all the members were asleep…except Chan. He was up working on songs and such, he was tired but the pressure of being a leader and not wanting to disappoint anyone was intense.
So he continue to work, he heard his door being opened and there stood Felix.
“Chan hyung why are you not asleep?”
Chan started at him for a moment Before speaking
“I’m not tired and I wanna work so-“
“hyung you ARE tired you need to take a break..I don’t like when you are overworking yourself”
Chan sighed “Lix I’m not tired and I’m not overworking myself I’m fine I just don’t…want to disappoint anyone.” Those words made Felix furrow his eyes brows
“Channie hyung your not disappointing no one your doing amazing but please take a break there’s always time to get back to work”
“I’m not tired tho-“
Felix pushes Chan lightly onto the bed.
Felix what are you-NOHOHO WHAHAIT-“
Felix just went everywhere all over his Body just really any spot Chan didn’t have time to protect
“Now tell me hyung are you willing to sleep now?”
“NO QUIT NAHAHAH IM NOT TIRED”
“Oh no? Fine then endure this torture for the mean time~”
He dug into chans armpits making the leader go ballistic on laugher
“NO STOHOHOHP HAHAHAH PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS”
Felix stopped for a moment to give him a breather but still keeping his fingers in his armpits
“Get out of my armpits!” Chan whined out scared to even try to move knowing his fingers are still there
After a few minutes Felix went back to torturing the poor boy, now Chan was strong but when it came to tickles he was weak he fought as much as he could but the sunshine boy knew how to get him good.
“Are you tired yet~ because I won’t stop until you agree to sleep~”
Chan still keeping his pride up only gave the boy a sassy no only resulting in him getting tickled harder (rip Chan 😭)
Felix made an offended face making Chan giggle more “I’ll so make you take that answer back!”
“Ah! Waihait I’m sorry eek-!”
Chan squirmed around more as Felix’s fingers found their way to his and sides, just everywhere and it was driving the leader insane
“FELIX PLEASE AHAHAHAHA ITS TOHOHO MUCH!!”
Felix could tell how tired the boy was as he was panting and had tears from all of that so he thought maybe he should finish off softy.
“Alright then how about we go with soft tickles yeah~?
“Yehehes please” hey it was better than almost laughing to death.
Felix softy tickled his ears and Chan sunk deeper into the mattress wanting to be as little as possible from this embarrassing moment as he giggled and blushed.
“Hyung you’re so cute like this!…I need to do this more often” this made the boy blush even more of a deeper red
“Hahahaha pleaseee don’t sahahy that”
“Why does it make it worse?~”
“Plehehehease okay okay I’m tired”
“Yay good!” Felix said as if he wasn’t just torturing the boy
They both fell asleep and all chan could think was the whole thing that happened he blushed when he was in deep thought of it maybe he did want this to happen again
CHANLIX HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD SJDKSJ-
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"Do you think I am a slut, Remus?"
Mary Macdonald was certainly something. She was not only a very pretty girl but also very confident. From all the girls in Remus's friend group, she was the most intimating of them all. Mary was one of the reasons why Remus asked himself: "Why was I gay again?" Silly little inquiry actually when he remembered he was head over heels for his best friend.
It was why Remus got a little nervous when he found Mary Macdonald crying alone in the Common Room. Honestly, he just wanted to have a quiet smoke.
It was after Mary cried on his shoulder and he comforted her, that Mary came up with that question, leaving Remus speechless.
OK, Mary had acquired a reputation thanks to her history with boys. But she never seemed to care about what they said about her.
"God, just be honest" Mary sniffed and wiped her nose.
Remus believed she looked even more pretty like that. Without makeup and her curls tied in the back. She also looked vulnerable with her watery eyes and red cheeks.
"Yeah, you kind of are" Remus answered carefully "But is not necessarily a bad thing!" he added quickly next.
Mary just blinked at him.
"You do enjoy boys and sex. What seems to be the problem, am I right?"
Mary laughed and Remus didn't know if it was because of what he had said or how nervous he had sounded.
"People seem to believe girls need to be more pure and chaste" Mary tutted "But not so much because otherwise you are a prude. You don't want to know the things they say about Lily instead"
"Fuck them" Remus murmured
"Boys, on the other hand, can fuck whoever they want"
"Unless you are a gay boy" Remus shrugged, making Mary smile. But she looked sad altogether.
"You are just a pretty girl who gains the attention of boys. That doesn't make you a slut or a bad person. I mean it is normal to want you and you have the right to be confident about how pretty you are"
It took so much effort to say these words out loud. Mary's eyes stared intensely. No shame there. The whole time Remus felt his face was burning. And he felt like a total twat.
It was even more embarrassing when Mary leaned closer to give him a chaste kiss on his lips. And it was even more embarrassing when Remus opened his lips for her, making the kiss even better.
It was completely different to what he used to do with boys. Even more different than when he kissed Emmeline back when he didn't know if he was gay. Bloody hell, he was gay!
But this felt different somehow. He felt comfortable. He wanted this. But at the same time the want he had for Mary was more sweet. This wasn't hot or sexy. It was like hugging a mate. More intimate, though not to the point of being romantic.
And it wasn't awkward when they broke apart. Remus knew Mary was still the best friend she had been seconds ago.
"Oh God, I am really a slut, aren't I?" Mary laughed. Remus followed her lead.
"Noo..."
"I just kissed you and you are gay" Mary added with embarrassment "Cause you are gay, right?"
Remus nodded "I am gay" he said mostly to convince himself.
Mary raised her eyebrow as of to say: You don't sound sure.
So Remus answered:
"I am sure... Yeah... Of course I am"
Mary giggled in response. She really did have a power. That was why she was so attractive. That was why Peter had her on his list for pinning after. And shit! Peter was going to kill him if he found out about this kiss.
"Are you going to light that up?" Mary asked pointing to Remus's cigarette behind his ear.
"Do you smoke?"
"Nop" Mary snapped "Absolutely hate the smell. But I kind of need it now"
"Right..." So Remus put it on his mouth, found the lighter on his pocket and lit the fag for Mary.
As it was expected, she coughed the first time.
"Bloody horrid thing!!" Mary protested while Remus smiled. Then Mary kept smoking more.
Just like that, they ended up sharing the cigarette. First in complete silence. Then Mary had to talk because she wasn't herself being quiet.
"Can I ask you something, Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you fancy Sirius Black?"
Remus couldn't be more obvious because he choked and it was his turn to cough.
"I'll take that as a yes" Mary grinned as she took a drag. She had acquired a funny way to hold the fag between her fingers.
"What makes you say that?" Remus asked trying not to sound panicked.
"I notice things" Mary smiled "That's why you didn't want a boyfriend, yeah?"
Mary and the girls had tried all term to set Remus up with someone. And of course Remus had said no. He had been pinning for his best friend.
Remus nodded in response. Then he let out a sigh before taking a drag himself.
"Bloody hell, you are like properly in love with him, aren't you?"
Remus blushed unconsciously.
"Holy shit!!" Mary squealed, covering her mouth "For real?"
"It doesn't matter" Remus closed his eyes in frustration "He doesn't feel the same"
"Have you told him?"
Yes. In fact he had. After months of snogging casually he had dared. But Sirius had said it all had been a mistake. They weren't in speaking terms now. Remus was furious and hurt.
"Yeah and he doesn't feel the same"
Mary touched his chin simpathetically. Remus gave her a small smile not to seem pathetic.
"And it wouldn't work just snogging another hot bloke to forget about him?"
Remus snorted "I think I need time to start doing that"
"OK" Mary winked "Let me know if you want me to find you someone nice"
"I'll think about it" Remus answered "What about you? Do you fancy Adam?"
It had been recently that Marlene had found her best friend kissing her older brother Adam in a party. The two girls had been fighting ever since. But Remus didn't know the details. There was drama within the Marauders as well. Remus was angry at Sirius for playing with him. And James was angry at both for lying to him. And Peter didn't know which side to take.
Mary openly laughed.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed "It was just a silly little crush" she shook her head "And obviously it wasn't reciprocated"
Remus thought about the time over the summer when he found Adam with his tongue down some bloke's throat. But it wasn't his business to tell.
"Good because loving someone actually sucks" Remus said it just to make Mary laugh.
But she was thoughtful.
"I've never been in love" Mary said "I mean I know the concept from films and books. And I think it is absolutely cute. Like I love to see James and Lily so happy for example" Mary smiled, making Remus do the same "But when I think myself in that situation, it just seems ridiculous. I don't think love is for me. Sometimes all I want is to snog around"
Remus chuckled at the last part.
"Fucking hell! I don't really care about Adam!" Mary groaned "All I want now is to get Marlene back" Mary sighed "Love is what I feel for her, Remus. My Marly..." her eyes filled with tears "And my Lils... And you boys" she touched his cheek "My wonderful friends. I mean friendship.... It is love, right?"
Remus thought about what he felt for The Marauders. How at this point he would die for them. How it didn't matter what he felt for Sirius, he was willing to give it up so the integrity of the Marauders didn't crumble. How he felt joy and peace when they were all together and he missed them when they were not around. He thought about Lily and her sweet smile. Their complicity together and their chemistry from day one. And he thought about Marlene and how chaotic she was but how much Remus liked her for that. And now how close and comfortable he felt with Mary.
"Yeah it is a beautiful kind of love" Remus answered.
Mary gave him a smile and she placed her head on his shoulder. Remus hugged her tightly.
"Don't worry, Mary" he told her before kissing her head "We are going to fix everything with our friends and get them back"
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lemon-natalia · 1 day
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Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 49
ORTUS NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GIVE AN IMPROMPTU POETRY RECITAL 
and Harrow’s started reciting the Noniad despite the fact that she hates it! aww, goes to show Ortus does mean a lot to her, especially after their little bonding session a couple chapters ago
oooh and Abigail’s coming in clutch with some kind of spell 
they summoned the ghost of fucking Matthias Nonius!!!! guess it really is the time to give an impromptu poetry recital 
‘why am i speaking in meter’ omfg thats hilarious,  i didn’t even notice
imagine meeting the long-dead guy you wrote an epic fanfic about, Ortus might die again from sheer joy
‘Gideon [...] might have better appreciated the anonymous monster [...] she was a prodigious fighter’ i think its very cool that Harrow’s here watching the non-necromancy dream combat sequence, while Gideon’s off dealing with all the ancient necromancers and their weird dynamics. they’re both very out of their depth
i don’t have a lot to say about this combat other than go the Ninth!, Matthias Nonius is a sick fighter. guess i did get to find out more about him after all. now i want to know how the fuck Matthias Nonius originally died, it better have been old age because i don’t want to meet what/whoever could have taken this guy out
‘she had been, once again, so slow’ oh me fucking too, i just accepted that all of this just might as well happen. but there is a kind of weird dream logic to it all, where the rules are those of the mind 
‘plastered themselves in red whorls’ listen to me, book, listen, you gotta be less ambiguous and tell me if the hair is red from blood or its natural colour, because that is very much going to colour my perception of whats going on 👀 and if the Sleeper is the woman on the portrait that happened to look a lot like Gideon …
‘but i still don’t know why i’m talking in meter’ someone free this man
i kinda ship Ortus and Matthias ngl
and the Sleeper has a metal tag, kinda like a name tag but it says the word ‘awake’, like some kind of message to Harrow to wake up?
nooo Abby i don’t want to say bye to all of you ghosty guys again
and the whole ghost gang is gonna go help Gideon the First fight the RB! thats a fight i wish i could actually see on page. speaking of, poor Gid, he’s the only Lyctor apparently doing his actual job at the moment. he’s gonna be so fucking confused when a bunch of stabby ghost cavaliers show up to help him
Harrow is finally getting some therapy. from ghosts, but it'll have to do
oh no but now Harrow has a terrible choice to make. and like i know that accepting Gideon’s death is technically the right thing to do (and probably better for Harrow’s mental health) i also really really don’t want Gideon to die again
‘Jeannemary said to tell Gideon hi’ awww Jeannemary’s lil crush on Gideon is still alive and well, unlike either of them
‘actually i’ve got something to tell you’ ohhh some brand new and shiny information is apparently coming Harrow’s way. would love to know what it is without the dramatic cliffhanger 
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femmeidiot · 1 day
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I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m in fact bisexual and not a lesbian like I’ve thought for years and I’m very conflicted. Being a lesbian is such a huge part of my identity and I don’t know who I am without being a lesbian. I also am only attracted to very very few men, usually alt men, but I’m too afraid of men to act on it due to my trauma. What do? Please help? I need advice please and thank you
first of all, congrats and welcome to the club of recently realized I was bisexual after thinking I was a lesbian for years!!!! You're iconic and I love you congrats on being bisexual!!! I understand what you're going through it is A Lot. The most important thing is to be kind and gentle with yourself. You can still experience all the same joys of being a part of the wlw/nblw (for lack of a better term really) community as a bisexual!!! Yeah there's biphobia but you just have to not care what people like that think (easier said than done of course)
there's nothing wrong with liking men, whether you're attracted to most men or like 5 men in the whole world, you're allowed to like men and be attracted to them. The trauma part is harder. It's very very hard to work through that but what I have found is that befriending men who are not terrible people has really improved my relationship with men as a group. I lucked out in finding a friend in my coworker who is genuinely just the nicest guy ever and he has other male friends who also don't suck and that has been really healing for me personally.
I also know identity is so difficult to figure out and having to kind of rewrite your identity is difficult but I have found so much joy in accepting myself for being bisexual and doing so unapologetically and I hope that you can have that experience as well I love you I hope you have a wonderful day and I'm sending you the biggest hug 💖💖💖
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inkskinned · 10 months
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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seventh-fantasy · 8 months
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- 你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。 // 李相夷是死了,他的剑没死。横扫天下容易,断相夷太剑不易。 - 我与他十年前海上一战,赢了他半招,他却死了。这世上再无对手啊。 // 李相夷,你我之约无人可以替代。
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unpretty · 1 year
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my sister was asking what i know about avoidant personality disorder and i had to explain that while the doctor who diagnosed my adhd said i had symptoms she didn't actually diagnose me with avpd. because a big part of avpd is like, low self-esteem and not wanting to inflict yourself on others because you think you're lesser. and that is not a problem i have. someone's gotta make this normal social interaction weird by saying weird shit and it might as well be me. if you can't keep up that's a you problem. i'm not the one who sucks here. i'm avoiding that social interaction because i can sense when someone is going to try to talk to me about reality television instead of something interesting, like early 20th century newspaper comics. i'm great at making friends and terrible at getting rid of them. i am avoidant in that i would like to avoid spending time politely listening to someone else be wrong and annoying. whatever i have wrong with me is insufferable in a different way.
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relicsongmel · 3 days
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Was doing some thinking today and realized that one of the reasons I'm really drawn to Kieran is because he's a rare example of a character that's shy (and usually good-hearted) but still has some rougher edges to him.
I feel like all too often shy characters are shoved into being portrayed as either "smol bean who would never hurt anyone and just wants friends uwu" or "brooding loner who snaps at people to cover up the fact they don't actually know how to socialize" with not a lot of wiggle room in between. While I can and do enjoy characters that (arguably) fall into those respective categories, they're a bit reductive in the sense that things are very rarely that black and white in reality. Even the kindest people have a limit to what they can tolerate. They have bad days or respond poorly to events around them that cause them stress. And the same can be said in reverse as well—point being, people are multifaceted and don't always behave as predictably as we'd like to think.
And I think Kieran reflects that dichotomy perfectly. When we first meet him, he's meek, timid, and relies heavily on his more brash and forceful older sister to help him navigate social situations where he would otherwise lose out on something valuable because he's too afraid to come forward and ask for what he wants (like how she has to ask the player to battle him on his behalf). He's often quick to cower whenever she starts to get heated, but he's also not afraid to point out when he thinks she's wrong and sometimes even gets sassy with her himself. He's undeniably sweet and gentle and shows eagerness to make friends with the player, but he becomes much more curt when he notices we're lying to him about Ogerpon. The rest of the Teal Mask storyline shows him fluctuating even further—yelling at Carmine and the player for keeping secrets from him, punching things in fits of anger...then backpedaling and apologizing for the trouble he caused a few scenes later. Spreading the truth about Ogerpon to everyone in the village to help make her happy...then selfishly demanding a battle to see who's worthy of being her Trainer when she has already clearly chosen the player.
After being lied to and suffering repeated losses at our hands (including the Pokemon he's idolized all his life choosing us over him), he leans even more heavily into his bitter side during the Indigo Disk—being cold and ruthless to pretty much everyone around him, but at the end of the day it's primarily overcompensation for what he perceives as his own personal weakness (because he's still just a kid trying to be taken seriously). He's shown to drop the act on multiple occasions—most notably when he's caught off guard by our appearance at Blueberry Academy and at a few points during the Area Zero expedition. He antagonizes the player up until the moment of his defeat and tries to catch and use Terapagos in a last-ditch moment of desperation that ends up going horribly wrong, but after everything resolves he's quick to admit his mistakes and asks the player for forgiveness and if they can still be friends. After the epilogue he's mostly back to his old self, but still seems to get worked up when provoked (e.g. when he yells at Drayton for refusing to stop calling him "ex-Champ" in one of their League Club Room interactions).
And I think this varied and sometimes contradictory behavior is precisely why Kieran is such a cohesive and believable character—because it shows how even kind, well-meaning people may have a hidden darker side that can show itself under the right circumstances. How they might let their insecurities get the better of them. How a shy, timid kid might not have the experience to know how to deal with sudden feelings of frustration and/or jealousy that are far too strong to keep to himself, so he lashes out as a result. How despite all this he remains kind, sensitive and loving at his core and shows willingness to learn from his mistakes. And that is what makes him so compelling to me.
#mel's musings#kieran#pokemon#all this to say i now have brainrot and you all are going to suffer for it#me: *sees any pokemon boy with attitude problems* son? son boy? he my son boy? ;_;#kieran is also. oddly relatable to me in a way#in the sense that i was a neurodivergent kid whose overstimulation issues among other things weren't taken seriously#and it made me really bitter and angry at both the people who caused them & the people that didn't know how to deal with me#i lashed out a lot back then. i yelled and hit and said things i didn't mean and lied so i could stay in control#and while i still think i deserved better than the shit the adults who were responsible for me put me through#i do regret a lot of what i did. and i try to make up for it by being as patient as i can with others#ALSO. oc tangent time. kieran and denise are very similar in this regard#dena felt a lack of control w/ her dad leaving but couldn't blame him bc then she'd have nowhere to vent her anger#but she's also too young and too hurt to blame herself. so she lashes out at her mom instead (granted. jen made some poor choices too)#but after her treasure hunt and her first trip into area zero she sees things in a different light and is able to reconcile with her#and that's the exact reason she's able to forgive kieran so quickly. bc she had been through a similar thing with jen#i am filled with a whole WHIRLWIND of ideas for my au denise and this cast are a match made in HEAVEN#forest for the tree#mel plays scarvi
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corfisers · 5 months
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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birdmenmanga · 2 months
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@raventhekittycat
hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms
There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.
But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!
Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)
But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.
For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.
Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.
There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.
The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.
But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.
So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.
Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.
It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.
Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.
I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it
#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts#so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good#I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am#OH#I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT.#YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!!#A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized.#it was written for the people they would become.#and I stand by that 100%#if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet#and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor#like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things'#but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever'#which she clearly isn't.#I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day#and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring'#(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.)#and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15#like WHAT is she going on about? ? ?#like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm#but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know.#like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed.#the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know#but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage#recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it.#there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight.#it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most.#cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.
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justablah56 · 29 days
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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puthyflapps · 6 months
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Swifties prove everyday that they’re the dumbest people on the internet and that’s really saying something cuz I’ve dealt directly with blarkes
#1) swifites always being racist toward Beyoncé#2) swifities doxxing a Palestinian girl and sending her info to the IDF cuz she said that there were better options for Time’s PotY#3) swifites beefing with North West – a literal child – cuz they thot she “shaded” Taylor#4) swifites commenting snake emojis on Kim K’s insta posts thinking they’re doing something other than driving up her engagement and lining#her pockets#t swift#also these are all just annoying things I’ve seen happen TODAY#I cannot wait until we are released from whatever govt psyop we’ve been under for the past few years cuz I’m over this endless string of#swift propaganda 🔫🔫🔫 it’s literally insane and no matter how many times I block people or hit not interested in posts I am still forced to#see shit about her like it is never ending and it’s so fucking exhausting like the way white women in particular make being a swifite their#whole personality is so embarrassing!!! THIS EOMAN CANNOT SING YALL!! AND IM TIRED OF BEING NICE AND SAYING SHE HAS DEVENT SONG WRITING#SKILLS CUZ SHE DOESNT!! EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS MEDIOCRE AT BEST!!! SHE CANNOY SING AND HER LYRICS ARE THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF WATTPAD FF!#I am so tired of this bullshit and I used to be able to find reprieve in football but no more!! cuz her and her annoying cult have#infiltrated that too like this shit is annoying and I feel like I’m going crazy cuz she’s everywhere and not in an organic way. In a very#strategic marketing capitalistic way and I love The Wilds but I hate how the fandom has like woven TS into everything there too like#I think I’m gonna commit a crime. I think imma toss someone through a brick wall cuz I’m losing it
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