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#that was not how it was supposed to go im so sorry
peachesofteal · 5 hours
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader requested by multiple: doctor visit
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The pediatrician's office is very bright.
Bright walls, bright furniture, bright toys. The hallway is painted a bright blue, dotted with wispy, spongey clouds, spiraling in patterns from floor to ceiling.
The exam room is not much better. It's yellow. Supposed to be soothing, you tell him. It's anything but.
The bright colors unsettle him, but he shoves it down. Swallows the gnawing anxiety brewing in the back of his mind, forces away the spiral attempting to swallow him whole. He falls back on what gives him comfort, what allows him to sleep at night, what makes him feel whole. The only one who doesn't make him feel torn to shreds. The one who can touch his bare skin without making him shake. You.
You're nervous too. It started when you got the baby undressed, and has only gone downhill from there. He can see it in the way you pace back and forth in the room, holding Ry to your chest, bouncing him, rubbing his back. There's dread scrawled into your expression, grim unease radiating from your bones.
"C'mere mama." He reaches, pulling your forearm and tugging you close, resting his chin on top of your head. You relax, but barely. "Everything's going to be alright."
"He hates shots."
"He's a baby, course he does. Can't blame 'im. Huh bub?" He strokes Orion's chubby and round cheek, tilting his head to press a kiss to your temple.
Someone knocks on the door, and it creaks open.
"Hi!" A young woman in a white coat smiles at them, giving Simon an odd look before stepping forward. He swallows the acid burning the back of his throat.
"Hey, Dr. Marsh." You greet weakly, face pinched. She says hello, and washes her hands, keeping a stream of chatter until she's seated on a rolling stool with an iPad in her hand.
"How's our big man?"
"Still big." You quip drily, and she laughs, glancing up at Simon. You look at him too, and then your mouth drops into a little o. "Sorry, this is Simon. Orion's dad." She stands, extends her hand. He takes it, careful to not squeeze too tight before letting go and hanging his own rigidly by his side, tense, like he's priming for a fight of some kind.
"I guess we know where he gets his size from." Fingers tap across the screen, and then she sets it on the examination table. "So, how is it going?"
"Fine, good, I think. He's still feeding every three hours. I feel like he's gained ten pounds since our last visit." She nods. "I've been trying to pump as much as I can but... there's just... not as much."
"That can happen. If you're still happy with breastfeeding, I don't have any concerns. Of course, if you want to stop, that's more than okay. As long as he's getting what he needs, there's no wrong way to feed him." You nod, rubbing his back. Dr. Marsh asks about any other concerns, and after you say you have none, she reaches for him. "Let's see if our guy is still a ninety nine percenter, huh?" Simon frowns.
"Ninety nine percenter?"
"He's uh, in the ninety nine percentile. Very big."
"Very big, and very tall." Dr. Marsh says from over her shoulder, where she's now got Orion on the baby scale. "Born at what mum, four and a half kilograms?" Simon blanches. Bloody hell. You haven't really told him too much about the birth, and he hasn't pushed you on it. Maybe this is why. You don't have a c-section scar, and he winces thinking about you giving birth, naturally. He should have been there. Should have held your hand, told you how amazing you were. How strong. The familiar feeling of regret resurfaces, and he gives you an apologetic look. You shrug with a little smile.
"He looked like a giant in the nursery, next to all the... regular sized babies." Dr. Marsh laughs, but Simon grimaces. Guilt settles in his stomach like a rock.
"Sorry, mama." He apologizes sheepishly, squeezing your hand, and you rub your thumb over his knuckles.
"It's okay, I kinda," your eyes sweep over him from head to toe, "expected it."
"Alright, so," Dr. Marsh brings Ry back over, handing him to you, but Simon intervenes, pulling him into his arms. He worries about your back. She smiles again, types something into the tablet, and then clears her throat, "growth is slowing down."
"Is that bad?" You sound alarmed, and she shakes her head.
"Not bad, considering he's been outperforming in height and weight since he was born. This happens, it's normal, there's nothing to worry about. However, he's still in the nineties. Just shy of eight kilograms."
"What's normal?" He's curious now, wondering how big his son is really, compared to others. He'd even feel proud, if he wasn't worried about the trauma having him may have caused you.
"Fiftieth percentile is around six. Now," she rests her hands on her thighs, and levels a serious look at you. "How are you? Sleep getting any better? Are you keeping up on hydration?" Simon peeks down at you, lips tugged into a firm line.
"He still feeds every three hours, and I'm the source so... not really."
"Any more dizzy spells?" What? His head snaps your direction. Orion gurgles, and he pats his back absentmindedly. Dizzy spells? Why haven't you said anything?
"Uh, not really. Maybe a few."
"Breastfeeding can take a lot out of you. It uses a lot of metabolic energy, so try to make sure you're eating enough and drinking a lot of water. It's normal to feel exhausted or fatigued, but taking care of your nutritional needs will go a long way. I know I sound like a broken record but, I think it will help. You might also try talking to your OB, since you know... I'm only a little human doctor." You swallow.
"Okay." She gives you a serious look, and you nod.
"Alright then, let's move on to everyone's favorite part."
He holds Orion for the entirety of the rest of the visit. He squirms and screams as he gets his shots, crying at the top of his lungs, and Simon closes his eyes at one point to take a deep breath. He's okay. He's safe. They're both safe. They're here.
You take him afterward, lips to the top of his head, eyes closed as you whisper. "Shhh, I know baby, I know. It's over now. All done. You were so brave." Simon's heart aches. It hurts to know you're struggling, that you see yourself as a failure, when it's so blatant that you're anything but. He's going to fix that.
You stop at the reception desk, lingering until the girl behind it gets off the phone. "Um, can we update Orion's emergency contact list? I want his dad to be on there, too." Simon looks down at you, momentarily dumbstruck. Sweet, sweet girl. Sweet little kitten. The receptionist smiles brightly, taking the information he provides, phone number, back up phone number (work cell) and his name.
The two of you head towards the elevator, and you give him a hesitant look as you step inside. "You don't mind right? I didn't want to overstep but... you're his parent too, I thought you might want to be-" You don't get to finish before he's swooping down with a hand at the small of your back and another on the baby's head, slamming his lips to yours so fiercely your breath hitches.
"Mama," he kisses your forehead, and then cups your chin. "You and Orion are my family now. You're it for me, and I'm chuffed you'd think to put me down as an emergency contact." You jerk back at his words, eyes wide. Too much? Too soon? Too strong? He doesn't care. He needs to start easing you into it, getting you used to the new reality, before he's moving you and the baby out of your flat and giving you a new last name.
"Simon." You whisper, but he shakes his head.
"I told you. I wanted you the night we made him, and I still do. You're everything. You're mine. You and our boy." You don't say anything, and the silence kills him until you reach for his hand, interlacing your fingers with his. "An' we're going to have a talk about you getting dizzy and not saying anything to me. Alright?" You gulp.
"Alright."
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sanaexus · 2 days
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social's as kaiser's girlfriend
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-liked by alexis.ness, isaichii and 124.5k others
yourusername: wow omgomg THE micheal kaiser is my gf?!?!?!
tagged: mikka.kaiser
eita.otoya: not only did you call him your gf yoi spetl his name wrong too lol ↳yoursername: BOY STFU IT WAS AUTOCORRECT ↳mikka.kaiser: wow ↳rin.itoshi: you* spelt* ↳karasu_tabito: from the "world's best striker" to "world's best typo police" such an upgrade ↳mikka.kaiser: TFYM I'M THE BEST?? ↳isaichii: ain't no way ↳mikka.kaiser: kys this message was removed for going against our community guidelines ↳isaichii: bitch square up i'll fight you this messaged was removed for going against our community guidelines ↳mikka.kaiser: fuck yourself this messaged was removed for going against our community guidelines ↳isaichii: nah but i fuck your mom this messaged was removed for going against our community guidelines ↳yourusername: THAT'S SO RUDE?? BOY STFU BFR I PULL UP AND GYN DOWN YOUR HOUSE ↳mikka.kaiser: who the FUCK KEEPS REMOVING MY MESSAGES ↳oliver.aiku: what the fuck there's a limit to reporting people each day?? ↳isaichii: IT WAS YOU??? ↳oliver.aiku: i'm js a bit silly 🎀💅
megubachi: *gasp* KAISER NOT BEING AN ASSHOLE (NOT CLICKBAIT GONE WRONG 🙀😱💯) ↳yourusername: he's a lil baby 🥺 ↳kuniisuke: if the baby was 6'0 and was a sweaty man who kicked balls around and also was kinda sorta violent ↳hiyori: JUST SAY HE PLAYED SOCCER ↳mikka.kaiser: I PLAY FOOTBALL . FOOT AND BALL. ↳shiidoryu: i can use my foot on your balls ↳sae_itoshi: who let bro cook ↳user1: HELLO?? IS SAE FINALLY GENZ-ING???
mikka.kaiser: you're so cute ↳yourusername: have i told you how perfect you are? ↳mikka.kaiser: a couple hundred times but you can go on and say it again ↳reo.miikage: oh god please don't increase his already over inflated ego ↳yourusername: didn't you have to have like a big ego to play football idk that's what that creepy tall skinny bowlcut man said think his name was jintopi or something ↳chigi.who: bro just called noel noa's rival jintopi ↳kenyu.yukimiya: ego jinpachi* close enough ↳ego.jinpachi: fuck off ↳nagi.seishiro: is he noel noa's rival or is noel noa his rival? ↳nikkoki: is he ego jinpachi because he's noel noa's rival or is he noel noa's rival because he's ego jinpachi
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-liked by reo.miikage, sae_itoshi and 168.3k others
mikka.kaiser: i am gau
tagged: yourusername
julian.loki: that caption was not from michael that was y/n stealing his phone ↳yourusername: BOO HOO PARTY POOPER YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AND THEN I GAVE YOU ROBUX TOO?? LIKE ↳julian.loki: you gotta do what you gotta do for robux mate ↳yourusername: aren't you like rich as fuck? ↳julian.loki: yes and? ↳megubachi: CAN YOU GUYS STOP USING ARI LYRICS BC APPARENTLY ITS WEIRD FOR ME TO CONTINUE THE LYRICS BUT THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE NOT CONTINUE THEM?!?1?11 ↳chigi.who: bro had no problems so he made up his own problems
mikka.kaiser: so this was the important reason you need my phone for? ↳yourusername: i'm sorry :( ↳mikka.kaiser: cuddles can make up for it btw ↳yourusername: i'm coming ↳itoshi_sae: ON DEEZ NUTS ↳shoei_barou: what the fuck happened to him?
oliver.aiku: we got sae genz-ing and using deez nuts joke bfr gta 6 ↳yourusername: that was me i stole his phone for "important" reasons ↳nikkoki: y/n stealing everyone's phone to do the most random shi is my roman empire fr ↳yourusername: im js a girl
itoshi_sae: y/n you better fucking run. and run fast. ↳yourusername: i have balls of steel i'm not scared 😎 ↳rin.itoshi: sure you aren't ↳yourusername: rin in his mean girl asshole era 🎀💅😝 ↳isaichii: bro has been in his mean girl asshole era since forever
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-liked by julian.loki, nagi.seishiro and 125.8k others
yourusername: mihya in his green flag era?
tagged: mikka.kaiser
reo.miikage: blink twice if you're being held at gun point to say that ↳yourusername: no bc he's a lil cutie patootie to me 🥺 ↳user3: y/n really said "i can change him" and fr changed him ↳yourusername: professional manifest btw
alexis.ness: picture credits for the second picture?? i nearly died bc that man was too busy admiring you?? ↳yourusername: bro i just wanted to see where my fry fell ↳alexis.ness: my fries* not only did you lose my fry you made me nearly lose my life too ↳yourusername: mb bro
shiidoryu: @/rin.itoshi @/itoshi_sae why don't you two look at me like that 💔💔 ↳rin.itoshi: fuck off i'd rather suck isagi's dick ↳isaichii: come over bae 🥰 ↳rin.itoshi: fuck off ↳itoshi_sae: go bother rin he's in your team anw ↳rin.itoshi: correction he's in my team i'm not in his team
mikka.kaiser: pretty ↳yourusername: you're prettier ↳mikka.kaiser: no you ↳kuniisuke: let me be single in peace the fuck? ↳chigi.who: you have have me ↳kuniisuke: 🎀🎀
megubachi: kunigami using emojis 🙀🙀
isaichii: honestly i didn't even know kaiser could tie laces, i thought ness js did it for him ↳yourusername: funfact most of the time i tie his laces or he wears shoes ↳mikka.kaiser: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?? BYE ↳mikka.kaiser: 💔💔
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I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO REO FIRST ND CHIGIRI FIRST BUT DON'T BLAME ME
hope the kaiser simps enjoyed stay strong yall
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bvidzsoo · 2 days
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)
Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)
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Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
Warning: cursing
Word count: 9.8k
Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au
Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red
@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng
@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf
@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380
⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩
♫Playlist♫
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Later that day
I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?
I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.
Friday (11:30 am)
I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)
Friday (12:50 pm)
I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)
Friday (15:26 pm)
I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)
My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.
            Saturday (9:09 am)
I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)
            Saturday (17:40 pm)
I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?
I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.
“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.
“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.
“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.
“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.
“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.
“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.
But I couldn’t.
            Sunday (1:01 am)
I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?
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『When you came along, I knew what was wrong
If you want to know exactly what I've missed』
            Monday (present time)
            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.
I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.
“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”
“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”
“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”
Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.
“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.
“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.
“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”
“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.
“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”
“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.
“Promise?”
“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”
“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.
“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.
“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”
“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”
“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”
I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”
“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.
“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.
“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”
“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”
“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.
“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.
The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.
And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.
“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.
“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.
“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”
“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”
“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.
“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”
“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.
“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”
“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.
“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”
“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”
“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”
“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”
When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”
“Can we stop talking about Min—”
“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.
“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.
“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.
“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—
“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”
“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.
“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”
“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”
“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.
“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.
“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.
“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.
“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”
A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.
“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.
            Monday (16:58 pm)
I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))
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            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!
And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.
As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.
Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?
“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”
And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  
“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”
“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”
“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”
I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”
“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”
“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.
“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.
“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”
“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.
“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.
“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”
“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.
“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.
“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.
“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”
“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.
“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.
“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.
“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.
“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”
“It was my idea to come here—”
“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”
Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”
“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.
“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.
“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.
I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.
“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.
“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.
“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.
“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”
“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”
“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.
“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.
“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”
“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.
“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.
“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.
“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”
I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”
“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.
“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”
“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.
            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.
“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.
“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.
“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”
“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.
“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”
“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.
“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”
“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.
“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”
“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”
“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”
“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”
Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”
Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.
“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”
When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”
“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”
Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.
“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”
There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?
“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.
“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”
“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.
“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”
“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”
“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”
“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”
“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.
“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.
“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”
“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”
“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.
“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”
When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.
“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.
I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.
“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”
“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.
“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’
I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.
“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.
“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.
“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.
“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.
“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.
“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.
“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”
“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.
“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.
I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.
Have I started falling for Song Mingi?
『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
You're what I've been chasing
Show me where my days went』
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❱❱ Next chapter
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so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))
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I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol
also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^
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its-avalon-08 · 2 days
Text
hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) p15
chapter 15: dirty laundry
series masterlist
avaspeaks - im soooooooooooo sorry i havent updated this series in so long. school is a bitch <3 anyway here is pt15!
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Y/N marched Lewis, still bewildered by the sudden change of scenery, towards her living room. Before he could protest, she shoved him gently inside and slammed the door shut. The sound echoed in the quiet room, punctuated by the click of the lock.
Lewis turned around, a frown creasing his brow. "Y/N? What's going on?" (oh y/n you little shit!!!)
Just then, the back door opened, and Nico walked in, his face a mixture of surprise and apprehension. His gaze flickered between Y/N, who was leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed, and Lewis, who stood frozen in the middle of the room.
"Nico," Lewis breathed, his voice barely a whisper.
Nico's jaw clenched. "Lewis," he replied curtly, the years of unspoken tension hanging heavy in the air.
Y/N pushed herself off the door frame and walked into the living room, her gaze unwavering.
"You two," she began, her voice firm, "are going to stay here and talk. Until you actually communicate like adults, this room becomes your prison."
Nico scoffed. "Y/N, this is ridiculous."
Y/N ignored him, her focus solely on Lewis. "And you, Lewis," she said, pointing a finger at him, "don't even think about using your charm offensive on me. This isn't about excuses, it's about accountability."
With that, she turned and walked out, leaving the two men staring at each other in stunned silence. The silence stretched, thick and heavy with unspoken emotions. Finally, Nico broke the tension.
"So," he said, his voice laced with bitterness, "here we are. Back under the same roof, forced to face the wreckage of what used to be a friendship."
Lewis let out a shaky breath. "Nico, I…"
The words wouldn't come out. Shame and regret choked him, a bitter taste in his mouth.
Nico wasn't finished. "Don't even try with those empty apologies, Lewis," he spat. "We both know actions speak louder than words. And your actions, for years, spoke volumes."
"Nico, please," Lewis pleaded. "We were both at fault. The pressure, the competition…"
Nico cut him off, his voice rising. "The pressure? Don't you dare try to use that as an excuse! We were brothers, Lewis. Brothers! And all you cared about was proving you were better."
Tears welled up in Lewis's eyes. "It wasn't just about that, Nico. We were both consumed by winning, by proving ourselves."
"But at what cost, Lewis?" Nico roared, his voice cracking with emotion. "At the cost of our friendship? Were those trophies worth the silence, the animosity? Was it worth losing what we had?"
Lewis looked away, unable to meet Nico's heartbroken gaze. The memories flooded back – the sly tactics, the suspicious accusations, the simmering resentment that poisoned their bond. He realized now the magnitude of his actions, the depth of the wound he had inflicted on their friendship.
"No," Lewis whispered, his voice thick with shame. "No, it wasn't worth it."
A sob escaped Nico's lips. He ran a hand through his hair, his face etched with pain. "Then why, Lewis? Why did you let it go that far?"
Lewis looked up, his eyes red-rimmed. "I…" he stammered, struggling for words. "I didn't know how to stop it, Nico. We were caught in a current, and we just kept getting pulled further and further apart."
Silence descended again, this time laden with a heavy sadness. The weight of years of unspoken hurt hung over them, a suffocating cloud threatening to consume them.
Nico paced the room, his voice raw with emotion. "Don't tell me you didn't know," he spat. "We were teammates, Lewis. We were supposed to have each other's backs. Instead, you guarded every strategy like a state secret, second-guessing every move I made."
Lewis flinched at the accusation, his own emotions rising to the surface. "It wasn't just me, Nico! You were the same. Remember Baku? Remember how you…?"
He stopped himself, the memory of the infamous collision still fresh in his mind. Before he could finish his sentence, Nico interjected.
"Baku? Don't even try to play the victim, Lewis! You squeezed me out like a bug, desperate to steal the lead. It was a reckless move, and it almost cost us both the race!"
Their voices rose, accusations flying back and forth like verbal missiles. The years of pent-up frustration and anger finally erupted, a torrent of raw emotion that tore at the fragile truce Y/N had imposed.
"This is pointless!" Lewis shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "We're just rehashing past mistakes. It won't change anything!"
Nico stopped pacing, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and hurt. "Maybe not," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "But maybe acknowledging those mistakes is the first step towards… whatever this is supposed to be."
For a moment, their eyes locked, the intensity of their gazes mirroring the storm raging within them. Then, slowly, the anger began to recede, replaced by a profound sense of exhaustion. Tears welled up in Nico's eyes, spilling over onto his cheeks.
"We were supposed to be more than just teammates, Lewis," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears. "We were brothers. Remember that day at McLaren, when we promised each other we'd win the championship together? Remember how we celebrated every victory, shared every heartbreak?"
Lewis's own vision blurred. He remembered those days, the camaraderie they once shared, a stark contrast to the animosity that had poisoned their relationship for so long. Shame washed over him, a bitter tide threatening to drown him.
He walked towards Nico, each step heavy with the weight of regret. "Nico, I…" he began, his voice choked with emotion. "I'm so sorry. I let the competition, the pressure… I let it all come between us."
Nico didn't move, his gaze fixed on a point on the floor. "And me," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I was so focused on proving myself, on beating you… I forgot what mattered most."
The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating. Tears welled in both their eyes, threatening to spill over. Nico wiped a stray tear angrily, his voice cracking as he spoke.
"Do you remember that summer, Lewis?" he said, his voice barely a whisper. "The one before we started karting? We spent every day glued to each other, building ramps in your backyard, dreaming of becoming the next Schumacher."
A flicker of a smile touched Lewis' lips, a fragile memory surfacing from the depths of their fractured past. "That summer…" he breathed. "We built the most epic ramp ever, convinced it would launch us to the moon."
Nico managed a choked laugh, a hint of warmth returning to his eyes. "We crashed spectacularly, of course. Remember how your dad spent the whole week patching up our cuts and bruises?"
Lewis' smile morphed into a wistful grin. "And Mom scolded us for being reckless, but we were heroes in our own eyes. We were invincible."
The shared memory hung in the air, a bridge between their present and a past filled with innocence and unwavering support. But the bridge was fragile, easily shattered by the harsh realities of their rivalry.
"Then came karting," Nico said, his voice turning bitter again. "The competition, the pressure... it changed everything."
"It did, didn't it?" Lewis replied, a wave of regret washing over him. "We became obsessed with winning, with proving ourselves to everyone, including each other."
Tears streamed down Nico's cheeks now, falling unchecked. "We used to dream together, Lewis. We used to celebrate each other's victories as if they were our own. We were a team, remember? A team fueled by passion, not by a relentless need to dominate."
Lewis watched Nico's silent breakdown with a heart that ached. He took a tentative step forward, his voice thick with emotion. "Nico, I… I miss that. I miss the way things were before."
Nico looked up, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and longing. "Do you, Lewis? Or do you just miss having someone to push you, someone to elevate your game?"
The accusation stung, a harsh reminder of the poisonous competition that had driven a wedge between them. Yet, Lewis knew there was truth in Nico's words.
"Both," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I miss the competition, yes, but most of all, I miss my friend. The friend who understood me like no one else, the friend who believed in me even when I doubted myself."
A flicker of hope sparked in Nico's eyes. He stepped forward, mirroring Lewis' movement. "There's still a part of me who misses that too, Lewis," he admitted. "But can we rebuild the trust we broke? Can we move forward from the hurt we inflicted on each other?"
Lewis met his gaze, a spark of determination flickering in his own. "I don't know, Nico. But I'm willing to try. We owe it to ourselves, to the memories of who we once were."
The tension in the room began to ease, replaced by a fragile hope. The path to reconciliation might be long and arduous, filled with the ghosts of past mistakes. But for the first time in years, both Lewis and Nico acknowledged the pain, the loss, and the possibility of a future where their bond wasn't defined by rivalry, but by the enduring strength of their shared past.
credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs
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thegoldencontracts · 3 days
Text
What Do You Want?
Summary: You try to approach Azul with an offer. His response is- odd, to say the least.
Notes: My heart wants fluff to make up for the angst yesterday... im sorry T_T
The moment you'd first seen Azul, you thought he was pretty. Then, you started noticing other little cool things about him. And before you knew it, you had a crush.
"You're- so stupid!" Ace said with a laugh. "You actually think Azul Ashengrotto would ever like anyone? Best outcome is, he tries to scam you but you barely manage to win."
"I've got a point-card!" You said cheerily. "And I've made a rough outline of what I want my contract to look like."
The 'outline' was only one sentence, but Ace didn't need to know that.
At that moment, though, Ace's eyes widened.
"You're actually gonna do it?" He said, the grin fading from his face.
"Yeah," you said. You were going to try and make a contract with him, see what happened. Maybe it wouldn't work out. But hey, you'd never know if you didn't try!
Besides, you had a plan. And that plan was what brought you to the VIP room, a golden point card in hand.
"Ah, what a pleasant surprise it is to see you here!" Azul said with a salesman's grin that somehow still looked cute. "I was under the impression you couldn't afford point-cards."
You laughed.
"It's lovely what happens when you make people compensate you for your labor," you said. And it was true. Telling people you'd do something for a free meal at the Lounge got you point cards and food witthout any complaints. For some reason, people were more willing to do that than give you the money straight-up, even if the expensive meals usually meant they'd have to pay more. Whatever.
"Oh," Azul said, before quickly changing the topic. "So what exactly is your desire?"
You smirked.
"Azul," you said. "Considering the ranking of the Golden card, that means you have to accept any contract I propose, so long as it doesn't pose direct harm to your mental or physical wellbeing in some way, shape, or form, correct?"
Azul's brows furrowed in confusion.
"Correct, however, you're forgetting-"
"The impact limit, yes," you said. "If the wish in question requires maiming, killing, or mentally scarring any individual, whether or not you agree to grant it becomes a decision entirely at your discretion."
At this point, Azul was looking at you like you'd grown two heads.
"Your point is...?" He asked.
"I won't have to make any other payment for my wish then, correct?" You said. You knew how these exchanges worked, and you did not want to get scammed.
Azul bit his lip.
"Fine, fine, you 'win', I suppose. Just- tell me what exactly it is you desire," he said.
You smiled, handing him a piece of paper with the draft of your contract on it. Azul's eyes widened in shock at its contents.
'Be my friend!' it said.
"Sooooo, what do you think?" You asked.
Azul shot you a glare. Harsh.
"What do you want?"
"I already told you- well, wrote to you, I guess, but-"
"No," Azul said, voice dangerously level. "What do you truly want?"
"Be my friend!" You said, flashing him a thumbs up. But Azul was still angry. Did he just hate you or something?
"I don't appreciate such juvenile attempts at mockery," he said. "If you have no true wish to make, then I shall have you escorted out."
You sighed. Seriously, this was getting annoying. Did he want to avoid you that badly?
"Look," you said. "I already laid it all out - you should try being my friend! And if you don't like it, then you stop! Simple as that, right?"
Azul scoffed.
"That's preposterous," he said. "No one would ever want such a thing-"
"Well, I want it," you said, before sighing. "Look, is it really that big of a deal?"
At that, Azul seemed to malfunction, like he couldn't possibly comprehend what you were saying. That was weird. Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't he going to try and scam you or something?
At long last, Azul shook away the red dusting his cheeks, handing you a pamphlet.
"Take this for now," he said. It was a study guide for Alchemy. "And keep the point card. I'll continue my inquiry tomorrow during lunch, so prepare yourself. Now then, leave."
"Great! See you tomorrow lunch then, Azul."
You took the study guide and headed for the exit. The study guide was pretty good, actually. And there was that little chibi doodle with hearts around it - you didn't know where it came from, but it kind of reminded you of yourself!
So, hey, it seemed like things were going pretty well.
Meanwhile, Azul was in a panic.
"The Prefect's caught on, I'm certain of it!" He said to Floyd and Jade, furiously flipping through his book of contingency plans for any type of social situation gone wrong. "Why else would such an odd request be made of me?"
Floyd rolled his eyes.
"Cause Shrimpy wanted to be your friend?" He said.
"No one would ever desire such a thing!" Azul said. "The Prefect's found out about that foolish little crush of mine, and decided to make a fool out of me. There's no other explanation!"
It was a sensible explanation, wasn't it? Common, too. It had happened to Azul all the time back then. He simply had to make sure he didn't slip, that he established consequences for all those who attempted to mess with him now.
His thoughts were cut off by the sound of Jade's laughter.
"What seems to be the matter, Jade? Do enlighten me," Azul asked dryly.
"You made an error in your panicked frenzy with the Prefect, that's all," Jade said. "The study guide you gave was the one with the doodles."
Azul felt his mouth go dry.
"W-What?"
"The one filled with countless doodles of your little crush, surrounded by hearts."
O-Of all the study guides, why that one?
Seven, how he wished to crawl into an octopus pot right now. But for now, all he could settle for was burying his face in his hands, left alone with his thoughts as he tuned Jade and Floyd out entirely.
He hadn't believed it, but- what if you were being sincere? What if you truly did want to grow closer to him? Yes, it was true that such a thing had never occurred in the past, meaning an analysis of past trends would seem such a thing impossible, and this sort of trick had been played on him countless times before but-
You seemed oddly sincere about it. And, frankly, he wanted you to be.
Azul couldn't help but sigh. Though it would likely cause him problems later, for now, he couldn't help but let himself hope.
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stevie-petey · 1 day
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I HAVE A BLURB IN MY BRAIN
Steve having a dream about him and bug being together. Like they're being cute and lovey towards each other then just as they're about to kiss he wakes up😭 it doesn't matter which season!
oh this is SO season 3 steve coded its insane
enjoy <3
"youre going to get me in trouble." steve whispers against your ear, and he grins when he feels you shiver at the sensation. he hums, pulls you into his chest, encases you into his arms.
"but im cold," you manage to breathe out, sliding your hands underneath steves uniform and giggling when he winces and jumps away. "warm me up, honey."
youre smiling up at steve with the glint in your eyes that makes his knees weak. he was supposed to clock in ten minutes ago, but you had tugged at his shirt and demanded he stay with you. now your nails dig slightly into his skin and his stomach burns intimately at the sensation.
and yet you smile up at him innocently, completely aware of what youre doing to him, and steve has never been so in love before.
"angel," he drags you back into his arms and buries his face into your hair, groaning. "robin will kill me if im late again."
"are you denying your girlfriend the warmth of your body?"
"its june!"
you tilt your head up at steve, eyebrows scrunched together despite how much youre enjoying this. steve is like putty in your hands right now, he knows that with one single scrape of your nail, you could make him beg for you, and he loves that you know this, too. with a pout, you stand on your tip toes so that your nose presses against his. "still cold."
steve bites his lip to stop himself from biting yours. "angel-"
"please, honey?" you bat your eyelashes at him, and hes so intoxicated with you.
looking over at the cash register, steve doesnt see robin, so he risks sliding his hand down to the curve of your lower back, just above your ass, and presses your hips against his. you gasp at the sensation, there isnt an inch of space between your bodies, and yet steve wishes he could be closer to you still. "is this better?"
"i dont know," you press all your weight against the boy, steve relishes in the way your legs intertwine with his. you remove one of your hands from under steves shirt and bring it to his face, now skimming a nail from the crest of his cheek down to his lip. "my lips are still feeling pretty cold."
steve bites back a moan, youre going to be the death of him. using the pad of your finger, you tug at his bottom lip, and all steve can think of right now is how to draw your hips even deeper into his.
seeing his reaction, you giggle. "still with me, honey?"
"yes," steve manages to rasp out, his throat suddenly dry. he slides his hand further down, now resting it on the curve of your ass, and he smirks when you let out your own small pleased sigh. "im right here."
"then kiss me."
the frustration in your voice is adorable, and steve cant help but chuckle at it. he cups your face with his hand and tilts your head up once more. your eyes meet his, theyre blissed out and he can see the love you have for him within them, and steve cant believe youre his.
he leans in, he takes his time as he slowly takes you in. when steves lips are finally, finally about to capture yours between them, a loud ringing infiltrates his head.
"fuck!" steve is ripped from his dream, cruelly and suddenly. in his moment of dazed confusion, he kicks wildly and almost sends you flying off the bed.
its only when he frantically catches you that he realizes it had all been a dream. he fell asleep in your bed last night after comforting you, and now hes holding you by your leg as you dangle off of your bed, and steve wants to scream.
your lips still burn his.
"fuck! sorry!" but steve doesnt have time to mourn the loss of them, he has to get to work and youre half asleep next to him and havent thrown him out yet.
for now, steve can only hope that he'll dream about the kiss again tonight. like he has every night for the last two months now.
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latenighttalkinqwp · 2 days
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hiyaaaa could u write a fic/blurb abt maybe surprising kk while she’s doing one of her lil lives?!!!!!:)
surprising kk on live !
“hey girly pops!” kk threw up a peace sign, reading the comments. ice plopped on the chair beside her, waving to the live. “kk where is your man?” ice laughed, looking over at the brunette. kk rolled her eyes, propping her phone up on a water bottle. “okay so, my ‘man’ has been busy with sports. y’all girlies already know, we the athletic couple. period.” she looked at herself through the live, ignoring the face ice was giving her.
you had been gone for a few weeks due to dance. your coach always kept you busy, but during the summer before football season, kk felt like you never had time for her. currently, you were back in your hometown, hosting an intensive that your old studio planned for you to run. it would last about a week, not including the time you would be spending home after to be back with family. it was safe to say, that kk definitely was missing you.
“yall, it’s private but not a secret.” kk laughed, motioning for ice to come stand near her. “paige was supposed to be joining but i think she had an errand to run or something..” kk rolled her eyes, trying to change the topic off of you. ice nodded, even though she knew exactly what paige was doing.
kk knew you were coming back to uconn in the next week, since that’s what you guys had discussed over the phone. however, what she didn’t know was that you actually scheduled your flight back for the week before to surprise her.
about thirty minutes had gone by, and kk was letting random people join the live, whenever she seen your name in the chat. her eyebrows raised, pointing out what you commented to ice. they both waved, trying to let you know that they seen what you commented. “yall, my ‘man’ is lurking in the chat right now.” kk pretended that she was blushing, tucking one of her twists behind her ear. ice laughed, knowing what was about to happen.
you turned off your phone, looking up at paige. you guys were standing outside of the door, waiting for the perfect moment to go in. “are you sure she’s okay with me being on the live?” you asked, knowing how kk felt about keeping the relationship between you and her. paige nodded, motioning for you to walk in. kk looked up whenever she heard the door open, expecting it to be paige walking in.
“hi kam!” you smiled, scanning the girls face for a reaction. kk’s jaw dropped, covering her mouth with her hand. “wait- what are you doing here?” she asked, running over to pull you into a tight hug. paige and ice smiled, going over to talk to the live. “i thought i would surprise you! i missed you too much to wait any longer.” you felt kk’s smile widen into your neck, pulling you even closer. “i missed you so much, im so happy you are here right now.” kk pulled back, looking you up and down. “sorry- i am just making sure this is like…totally real right now.”
you rolled your eyes, pulling her back in for another hug. you put your hands on her cheeks, looking her in the eyes. she licked her lips, leaning in closer. you closed the gap between you guys, and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. you both pulled away smiling, looking over at paige and ice who were telling the live what was happening. kk laughed, looking back over at you. “do you think it’s real now?” you raised and eyebrow, scanning your eyes over the girls face.
“i’m not sure, i might need another kiss just to be sure…”
- thank u for reading all the way through! feel me to send me more requests !!!
- i hope this was good! im so sorry this took me so long to write babe 😭 this is easily one of the worst things i’ve written….
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epiphainie · 1 day
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hi! anon about buck and eddie’s facial expressions back here. I agree with everything you said. Particularly this part:
“If you look at it like it's subtext that is meant to one day come to surface, as some sort of proof that this is not the actual story, you're either too deep in your world that you treat these characters like they have agencies and thoughts and feelings and are not, yknow, fictional - or that actors are making the conscious choice to layer their performances with breadcrumbs for a plot that doesn't exist at the time.”
I think so many people fall into this trap of consistently looking for subtext in their words, expressions, and body language because they’ve convinced themselves that buddie is happening and it is in the words and it is exactly what the writers are writing towards. I think this belief has gotten worse/stronger since bi buck because people have taken on the assumption that bi Buck happened as the first step in making buddie happen. That it would not have happened if buddie wasn’t the plan. Or that, if they can make bi Buck happen, surely they can make queer eddie happen, and by proxy, buddie. (I think this is one of the reasons they especially don’t like tommy. because “why is he here when buddie is supposed to be canon”). I largely disagree with that line of thinking and I also think with what we’ve been hearing in the interviews from the actors and Tim, Im not sure how people are clinging so tightly onto those beliefs.
I also think people forget to consider that there’s a general audience out here who are NOT there to read subtext within expressions and words, especially not in an network procedural. They’re going to take what’s being said at face value unless it is explicitly identified that someone may have *other* intentions through musical cues, obvious dialogue, expressions that don’t need to be paused on, etc.
Another thing I wanted to talk about and sorry to bombard you, is long term couple and the endgame conversation. I know endgame conversations aren’t fruitful because the shows still ongoing and external factors can affect situations, but when I look at buck and tommy and what they’ve set up with them, and with what I hope they can do in season 8, I can see them being “endgame” in the same regard as the other solidified couples on the show. Even with those couples we don’t necessarily know if they’re endgame since the show is still going and things could change, but in the world of the show, in the writing of the show, and in our minds, those couples are endgame and are each others other half. Like Maddie and Chim are it. Athena and Bobby are it. Hen and Karen are it. Just like that, I think Buck and Tommy could be it too, in the sense of the writing and not considering external, factors out of creative control.
I think the endgame conversation is different for shows like greys anatomy for instance where there was a revolving door of LI and couples and characters and you just never knew what you were going to get and where you were going. 911 is so different in that we’ve been with the same people since the very beginning and the three main couples have also been with each other since the very beginning. The only two characters who’ve had some what of a revolving door of LIs are buck and eddie, buck more so than eddie. Now going into the 8th season of the show, they’ve found someone for buck who feels largely different than his past LI in many ways and i think if it was earlier on in the shows run, I might be more hesitant to say they could easily be long term and in the running for endgame, but because we’re on s8, 911 is not cheap to make, the stories are seemingly running out, actors may want to move, etc etc, I think what they’ve done with tommy or tried to do with tommy is create a LI and by proxy a relationship that has the same lasting power as the already established relationships on the show. A relationship you can hopefully by the end of s8, see alongside the others, and think yeah this is just as good and believable as the others, albeit in their own unique ways!
Hi anon!
You're not bombarding me, don't worry. Sorry I'll keep this one short as I touched a lot of the points you make here in a previous ask about BuckTommy's potential. Like you said, I find endgame talks very moot but BuckTommy has so much potential that none of Buck's or Eddie's previous love interests had. I think the biggest fail of all of these relationships was how hard it was to bring these women into the fold of the main plot and the group dynamic. Tommy already has so many established relationships with the characters. As a first responder, and specifically air op, he could open up the plot to so many new emergencies. And like I said, they laid the foundation for the romance so well that if they treat them with care in s8 like they did with Madney in s2, at the end of the season, they could make them feel as established as those relationships regardless of endgame conversation. So if they break it in s8, it wouldn't be because of a lack of potential but because a lack of execution imo.
And I totally agree with your point about the general audience. There are some shows that require the audience to look close, to interpret themes and events differently than what has been presented (one of my favorite shows, Black Sails for example, is brilliant at this). 9-1-1 is not that. This is not a diss or me bashing the show, it's just basic recognition of what type of media we're consuming here.
Thanks for your asks!
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healingheartdogs · 1 year
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All of my planning and worrying didn't matter because he went on his own last night at home and it was traumatic as fuck for me and Selene both.
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barghest-land · 4 months
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
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surreal-duck · 4 days
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master artist and his number one fan
guy who is being so normal about the new additions to their profiles. i think abt midoris initial infatuation with his art slowly developing into appreciating yuzuru himself as a person and idol to the point he worries about how he sees him (ex: a bit of home party and in workplace survival rules) sometimes thats a lie i think about it a lot. and yuzuru learning to enjoy art just for the sake of drawing!! seeing the lets try diy story where he doesnt even refute drawing on midoris desk and was only worried that his doodles might cover up the mascot design compared to how discouraged he usually would be in earlier ! stories. everything to me i adore their dynamic if that wasnt obvious by *gestures to basically everything*
and happy pride month 🏳‍🌈
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roppiepop · 1 year
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i have not stopped thinking abt the dc pride 2023 announcement happy reunion kids!!
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bacchuschucklefuck · 13 days
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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unluckyprime · 1 year
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welcome to adulthood or whatever . the sun is an asshole
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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bobzora · 4 months
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school is making me miserable so here's a doodle sheet of akechi truths. hope this helps
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