#that was the easy part thank god

[skyburger]

dang gameclam slim ultimate looks crazy !!! mistar whyte went all out for this one

#rtvs #wayneradiotv #mistar whyte #gameclam slim #roblox #(?) (does anyone check the roblox tag on here. idfk) #gameclam #in case you were wondering which im sure you were not: #yes i did spent like 350 ish robux on this outfit. yes i can wear this in roblox now. life is beautiful #and also i spent a stupid amount of time editing the background of this like. i had to dig up the original background image from E3 i think? #i only know that because they showed it on the gameclam slim commentary stream #and then i had to take two or three sceenshots of wayne singing gamelam lover so i could get the background without him in it #that was the easy part thank god #for the record im being dramatic. it was not that hard and i enjoy a pointless challenge like that #muffin mumbles #sorry for putting tags on this but thats half for my sake because i WILL lose this post if i dont put shit i can search in the tags

[callmegaith]

BACK IN DRAGON AGE HELL CUZ I MISS CULLEN SM AND I WANNA TRY THE MALE INQUISTOR ROMANCE MOD WITH HIM! please he's been my one true love in this game for so long 😭😭💜💜 every day I wake up and I thank modders for their service. They doing god's work for free.

Also uh oh my inquisitor, named Ulisse, has puppy dog eye syndrome. DONT U TRUST THIS CUTIE TO SAVE THE WORLD?!

#fandom: dragon age #oc: Ulisse #idk if the mod works just yet #have to check when i actually get to the romance part with Cullen #smh me you always fall in love with the non-companions love option #cant fall in love with the characters that are easy to romance and dont take like 20 hours to even start the romance questline with🙄 #or god forbid #i need a mod to make it work 🙄🙄🙄 #listen #cullen was always meant to be Bi #just sadly it didnt happen cuz budget and time #but it was already stated so bi cullen is canon #EXCEPT MODDERS HAVE TO DO THE WORK TO GET IT TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN #modders you are my new gods #i pray to you #youre too powerful #thank you for blessing us 🙏

[causticsunshine]

wanted to share the sentiment here too but didn't feel like rewriting the whole thing lmao so here are some Thoughts i had last night on twt regarding my weird relationship with my art whilst being in fandom:

i know i've definitely talked about this kind of thing in the past but it's been a very recent development that i actually understand what's been going on with me and why i've picked up this habit of letting a fandom i'm in / a piece of media i'm really into fully dictate my creative drive. like, just because i'm very interested or invested in something, it doesn't mean i necessarily feel inspired by it or inspired by it for the duration that it holds my interest, and forcing myself to create relative art or fic or what have you for the vested interest(s) has both dampened my desire to be creative as well as my imagination. i know a lot of people can be super into something or a few random things at once and that can keep them going for ages without them running out of ideas, but in my case, things that hold my interest aren't always synonymous with my creativity and i'm just now learning that despite how obvious it seems!

i also imagine i'm not the only person who functions like this but i personally haven't seen it spoken about very often (if it even needs to idk), so i wanted to bring it up / talk about it a little bit :)

#art things #alex talks #if you've been following me for awhile or at least saw this coming before i did: does it not at all seem obvious lmao #i think the guilt i was feeling for so long over it being my 'obligation' as an artist in any fandom to only cater to fandom was also #exacerbated by some kind of impostor syndrome like... wait why is this so easy for other people also into x but not me? #makes sense now why i seem to lose steam so fast when i'm making work for one thing at a time only #i need to spice it up!! even if i come back to something eventually i can't force it! #thank u adhd my behated for another extension of my executive dysfunction but i guess #i will learn to work with it :) shedding the guilt has been the hardest part and ik i'll still struggle at times to be inspired or feel #like i need to be doing something specific to cater to other people rather than go with what drives me at the moment but #that's ok! that's life! #here's to me making a lot more art / general creative stuff 🫡 i hope the utter randomness of what i have in store #appeases at least one other person 🫶 #sidenote 1d fics will still be eventually finished but 1d art.... we'll have to see bc of the ipad wipe :') #also haven't been in the mood for awhile tbh! been into another stuff and less generally hyperfixated (thank god) #anyway onto better days and more creation!!

[outeremissary]

kasander + 😴 please!

Thank you ❤️ Sleep questions about D&D elves always lead peculiar places, don't they?

hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon

Kasander seldom sleeps willingly. Their trance is already haunted by half-alien memories of blood and darkness, disorganized images they struggle to stitch together and match to their origins. It's upsetting even without any supernatural incursion causing more extreme visions, and it makes them fear resting. Sleeping, on the rare experiment trying to avoid the memories, is much worse. They always dream, and they always dream Bhaal's dreams. And it takes such a terribly long time to wake. So they avoid sleeping, and they're thankful not to have a reason to.

However, sleep is the most convenient way for the Emperor to contact them, and the Emperor has a way of pulling them under whenever he pleases. When they first met and the Emperor was still in the form of the Dream Visitor the Emperor offered to soothe their nights from the restless, terrible trance by quieting their dreams- if only they would sleep, of course. Disoriented, still largely amnesiac, and distressed by the visions, Kasander agreed eagerly (there was a lot of agreeing with the Emperor then) and committed themself to the psionic protection out of desperation for any relief from the growing fear there was something wrong with them. It did seem to work- mostly- but when Kas began to break with the Emperor they stopped sleeping nightly as well. By that point they were ready to grapple with the horrors of trance again, as painful and difficult as they were.

#any time something comes up around kasander and sleeping I have this moment of 'do elves sleep in pathfinder' #and you know what? I still don't know the answer. I should. but I don't. #I have become intimately acquainted with trance in D&D thanks to periodically being forced to fact check a bizarre and incorrect belief #that elves have to learn to trance properly and there was a cultural aspect of it. this isn't true and I don't know where I got it from. #anyway do you ever think about how fucking funny it is that trance is genuinely such a deeprooted and unique part of cross setting D&D lore #and so much shit pretends it doesn't exist. I'm guilty too it's the easy way out but god. it's such a simple alien touch #our conception of life is hard to separate from sleep huh #elves sleep an absolutely SILLY amount in bg3 despite there being flavor text and the guy scene acknowledging that they. y'know. don't. #the flavor text takes an especially hardline stance even. very silly. are we just supposed to pretend the sleeping is trance for elves #I'm about to sleep and not trance myself this was not a night of powerful focus for me #sorry you're getting my most scattered and incoherent one of the night :') #emi plays bg3 #ask me emithing #ask game #kasander #archduke-enver-gortash #hm. that feels like I'm summoning something. ominous. #anyway if I've just missed some in game explanation for what's going on every time elves appear to be sleeping please lmk

[meowmeowfication]

⇝ parallels between glass animals past albums and "dreamland" ✧･ﾟ:

hazey / domestic bliss / mama's gun / it's all so incredibly loud / jdnt / melon and the coconut / pools / hot sugar / agnes / helium / youth / dreamland / pork soda / i dont wanna talk (i just wanna dance)

part 1 2

+bonus:

#glass animals #flashing warning #long post #glass animals dreamland #mine #gifset #made with capcut #made with ezgif #PART 2 BABEYYYYYYYY #oki talking time #FIRST AND FOREMOST i actually had a lot trouble with this one #idk if its just because some of these songs arent my favs but yeah :// #ANYWAY LETS GET INTO MY THOUGHTS #ok hazey / domestic bliss was the second line that i came up with actually because both songs are abt the same thing (abuse) #but i think that the lyrics are really different for each song which is why its um. kinda weird #its all so incredibly loud was actually one of the last songs i looked into and THANK GOD IT WAS EASY #it is not a song that i listen to often so yeah aksdjhgfj #plus i really like mama's gun and i did want to add it here :3 #also i may now have a love-hate relationship with melon and the coconut #bc i love the song now more than ever but also it was so difficult to find lyrics for this one.... #even now im not too happy with it but we ball #i really didnt think melly and the coconut would be a difficult song. but god #also i like the jdnt concert vid. even if it is shaky lmaooo #ALSO OMG HOT SUGAR #i wasnt the biggest fan of this song when i first listened to it but then #i ended up listening to hot sugar over and over for this gifset and uhm. yeah now its one of my favs that i cannot live w/o #also pools was the immediate first song that came to head upon actually reading hot sugar's lyrics #personal note abt pools btw. ive always been freaked out by that song (in a good way) its such a bop but also sososo unnvering i love it #BUT the songs are pretty specific/different from hot sugar so uh. i was grasping at straws there yea #REST OF MY TAGS ARE GOING INTO A SECON REBLOG BECAUSE IT REFUSES TO BE ADDED HERE

[unproduciblesmackdown]

blade gunnblade !!!!!!!!

via eliza simpson:

There are no words for this true warrior. They kill me. MMM: went in for a post show hug. Me:"ow!" Asia: "oh sorry, that's my bullet necklace." 😳........ 😍

#blade gunnblade #asia kate dillon #kapow-i gogo #eliza simpson of [angel & others in the mysteries] & [the mother line story project] & [saw ak dillon in triptych yes we're jealous] #& [princess cloudberry in kapow-i gogo] #here we also see stephen stout in the 1st pic but going ''!! surely our dear cherished blade gunnblade's back. hair's long though hmm'' #only to have that cleared up by the 3rd pic thank god ='] #i guess at some point blade gunnblade has blue hair & i do love that for them #i believe they're in part 3 but i have all the less information about that plausible appearance #(and of course still no info on [asia perhaps doubling roles with the longer black haired wig & ultracorp jacket in that one pic?]) #one thing that would be fascinating & fun is if part 3 blade has more of part 1 kapow-i's look. the bright blue hair #looks like pink lipstick. Pure Speculation but i know the like [this is reaction to You Know How Media Is] element discussed like #part 1 thinking most [sat. morning cartoons experience; the legend of] part 2 is like when these series get sequels or just some #ep or turning point that upends its own previous established conventions. Darker more Serious / Mature Themes etc #part 3 like well sequel to That which adds yet another layer of the same factor there lol #i'm not really that versed in All This Media directly b/c i'm not that versed in / familiar with much of any media directly but #i am also not completely at sea & also one thing i could think of is like. blade is our revenge vengeance tragic anti antagonist lmao #what if after that they get to lighten up in delightful contrast to the torment & tragedy. turn more optimistic moral support bestie etc #but like i said utter speculation based on ''oh this is a look they have?'' & comments on [comments on material commenting on itself] so #could be anything! or nothing! except that it's Something enough to have been photographed a couple of times. thank god #oh hang on also we can see that that's stephen stout's character in the pic of Wearing A Black Longer Haired Wig & Ultracorp Jacket #who's to say it isn't also: yes that's blade disguised or something. underneath they have this bright blue shorter wig & Blade Outfit lol #i would cheer for that. compelling #(also noting that it didn't preclude a doubling of roles instead but; that figure Is wearing blade's necklace. makes it easy to switch to #Blade Mode backstage; makes it easy to switch to Blade Mode onstage....) #which: noted! bullet necklace! makes sense lmao. sort of #also pic 2 ft. director kristin mccarthy parker fyi. and the typical blade hair length i.e. simply asia's own. #''😳........ 😍'' soooooo true ''MMM:'' standing for ''most memorable moment:'' and also sooooo true as well #blade gunnblade is everything to me. if they died in part 3 i'm blowing this whole building up. they have bright blue hair now

[fantasythetrashywriter]

So I knew editing was an absolute pain when I first started writing but now… it’s even worse. All I had to do back then was read my story for grammar mistakes (which was…not fun, reading my own story is oddly not fun) but now I literally have to do more than that…I seriously need to rewrite two scenes which is a huge pain, since I even created two separate documents to edit that…

In hindsight, I probably should have fixed that first scene before I continued on… but I didn’t. And that itself is an annoying thorn because I didn’t even notice my mistake…

Well, at least it’s only two scenes and not an entire event…

(This is a vent by the way, I have to say this sorry.)

#Fantasy talks #I am purely disappointed in myself for not noticing my first mistake… #So now I have to rewrite that scene too #Which would be…tricky… #*sighs* I have a feeling I have to rewrite the ENTIRE paragraph and more… #As my friend said “editing takes a special kind of person” #This is going to be the end of me I swear… #Thank God writer’s block didn’t hit me yet #That is THE LAST thing I need right now… #…………At least one of the scenes is in Timeline 3 that part should be fun (and hopefully easy?) to write #Why I chose writing for my hobby and passion I do not know… #And now I’m ranting in the tags too #…………….. #Right. Rant over. #Edit: It is quite fun writing this story I’m enjoying it a lot LOL #But editing is…not my favorite part #It’s necessary though so I must do it… #Edit 2: AHAAIDHAIDNSOSNIS I FORGOT I DON’T HAVE A BETA LMAAAOOOO I am dying from laughter here–

[birdmenmanga]

the easiest fix is just to use Noé but I wonder if it would be weird to have the diacritical?? Like I'm not putting the diacriticals on ouwei's name...

#just thinking thoughts... #anime ace doesn't even support the diacriticals needed to accurately write ouwei's name lol #huh idk... I feel like it's different because portuguese fundamentally uses the same writing system as english #whereas english is just doing its best to capture chinese #also noe is already like. that mfer from vnc #I dunno if I'm ready to compete with that #like de was very brave to use harry (harrier cough) in a post rowling world but they did it just fine #I think it's probably okay if I want to use noé... #I know I picked noah in part because I figured it would be easy to have a name that was also japanese and pronounced the same way #like mario for example #but somehow I feel like mario is even worse. like just as a reality for him. girl he is going to get bullied at school so bad #BRO WHATEVER ! HE'S GOING TO BE NOÉ IT WILL BE FINE... #thank FUCK I didn't have anyone say his name in the trailer my god. #could you imagine the cringe. crawling back to a va and going hiii I messed up on this line... can you re-record

[pallases]

PROF ROUNDING GRADE UP AMEN 🙏🏻

#personal #the engineering chronicles #also there was a mistake in how he graded my final project so that helped too #get to feel good abt at least one of my classes this semester thank god 😭 physics has me feeling so shitty and the rest of my classes are #either teetering and probably won’t be a’s or they’re one credit labs etc that are easy to get a’s in #but this one oh my god i slaved away for this class. and idont regret it at all bc i feel like i really really understand everything i did #in it and how it all worked. v glad that he is letting it pay off #didn’t even need to ask him outright i just wanted to know what his calculated final percentage was to see if it matched mine and he just #went i was waiting for you to ask that. etc etc we discussed some stuff. and then he just went i will round it up #part of it is also that my lab partner vanished off the face of the earth for the last three weeks bc of health issues and obv the last #three weeks are when you’re covering the hardest content and assignments so he is granting me leniency based on that LMAO #seriously though besides the blinking rgb i had to do eeeeverything for our final project. and it was SO time consuming #again don’t regret it bc honestly i don’t think i would Get It nearly as much if we had actually been able to split the work properly. but

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

'i survived you, eva', is such a raw line at the end of such a raw speech which would have been literal perfection If Hen Hadn't Cheated

and. y'know, the cheating would be understandable too, actually, if hen and karen hadn't been married, because then we could say that even though hen loves karen part of her is still stuck on eva because she never got proper closure from that relationship

but like? if they're married surely hen had some degree of moving on? also. even if in spite of the marriage eva's call dredged up old feelings. the fact that hen just? goes to her? after promising her wife a romantic night? if they'd shown them fighting and hen being angry and confused at least it'd make a little more sense. but she just shows up to have guilty sex with her ex when she could be having happy sex with her wife whom she obviously loves?

what i'm trying to say is that this is a classic example of 'we weren't sure how to create conflict in this stable relationship so we got them to cheat' and admittedly the way they've handled the fallout is very good but based on everything we know about hen and the circumstances in which she did it the fact that it happened at all will never be convincing to me

#this is the only long running romantic r/s in season 1 too #chim is single #bobby is single #buck and abby are in the intial stages of their r/s so all the easy-to-make-it-look-interesting-on-tv parts of it are happening #so they took the one married couple (who happen to be lesbians which. adds a whole another layer of ick) and did this #the same storyilnes could have been handled a little better is what i'm saying! #wow god i didn't know i had these many feelings about this #it's just that hen is my favourite character and i do not like how they did her dirty in season 1 #thank god for everything following this though she might be the most consistently well written character after season 2! #911 rewatch #109

[vvanessaives]

AND 🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊🖊 for whoever’s Got u right now

it's moira that is living rent free in my head rn but i already talked about her in two other asks so nfkjdf. i'll pick daniel & nader and split these for them both since i never talk about them...my boys <3

Daniel

his mother and step-father really wanted to see him work for trauma team, his mom already had med school paid for him (with jonathan's money fjdsjk) and jon already pulled some strings for a guaranteed job in the company. but daniel simply hated having his future already decided by others and he never liked the idea of working for corporations. he will later become a ripperdoc tho :^)

he's going to take this secret to the grave (and also made fenix SWEAR he will never talk about it with vesper) but. looks like he had a little crush on fenix when he first met him..he didn't know he had history with his own sister and he regrets thinking fenix was hot every single day of his life kfjsdkf

he loves doing little sketches, he's not an artist and doesn't really care about drawing in general but he likes to u know, doodle stupid things with his wobbly lines. leave little notes around with his doddles on it

fenix has become some kind of mentor in his life, like an older brother (even if he already has one but they never really had a good relationship) and vesper hates that soooo much because sometimes daniel acts like him/thinks like fenix would etc etc. daniel looks up at him with admiration maybe like a role model, even if he doesn't spare fenix of any playful insults and so on. everyone is concerned about this

Nader

has a black cat named Noir and he loves him more than anything in the world. one day this stray entered his mother's restaurant trying to find something to eat and nader immediately fell in love with the little guy. he kept feeding him every time noir came around until one day he never left <3

he's a drummer and played a few times with vesper out of fun, they do match reaaal well together, they are just missing a few bandmates to finally have their own official band

he lives in a pretty cozy studio: the place has something poetic about it (just like its owner, a poetic soul you know), minimalist but also chaotic in a tidy way if this makes sense fjksdkl. he hated leaving his mother since he's very close to his family but he felt like he needed his own place, especially for doing his netrunning stuff. it's all okay tho bc he visits karima almost daily (works at the restaurant with her too when he can). also everyone is wondering when daniel will move in with him there since he spends most of his time at nader's place anyway (fenix. fenix is asking himself that. bc he wants the house free of daniel fjsdkfjdn)

it was his idea to own a tattoo studio and daniel got dragged into it by curiosity basically. one day he randomly mentioned his idea of opening a studio and daniel immediately went ohh WELL that's my dream too now. nader is very happy about this because not only he can do something he loves but he's doing it with his best friend which makes everything more special than he could ever dream of

#ask #ask games #faarkas #oc: daniel #oc: nader #i love them your honor their friendship is so important to me <33 also the 'fenix wants daniel out of his house' is so funny to me bc i #imagine him waking up in the morning and seeing daniel and going hm hi kid. anyways when are u leaving this goddamn house? #and vesper (a little sad at the idea of seeing her brother go even if it's like. the same city) @ him like shut tf up or i'll chick YOU out #further proof they are a married couple i guess and daniel is like a son skdjfdhnskj #also nader is such a multitasking king. helps his mom at the restaurant. runs a tattoo shop. is learning more and more about netrunning and #is starting to pick a few easy jobs. while daniel is like getting into useless fights..stressing out vik. doing his part at the shop at #least :)) rambling about how he's going to model new cyberware & shit and making 300 layouts but never getting past the daydreaming stage #of what he wants to create like boy. you need to focus on one thing for 5 minutes and you will see that you can do everything you want #thank god there's vik to help him out that man is a saint (on his last gram of patience) #thank you again hilary MWAAH ILY <33

[chadsuke]

Books Read In 2022/2023:

The Financial Diet: A Total Beginner’s Guide to Getting Good With Money by Chelsea Fagan & Lauren Ver Hage (2018)

The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow (2015)

I Want to Be a Wall Vol. 1 by Honami Shirono (2022)

My Wandering Warrior Existence by Kabi Nagata (2022)

wow, no thank you: essays by Samantha Irby (2020)

A Tropical Fish Yearns For Snow Vol. 1 by Makoto Hagino (2017)

I Married the Male Lead’s Dad by Eongsseu & Gyammi & San-ho & Ko-eun Chae (2021-present)

Franken Fran Frantic Vol. 1 by Katsuhisa Kigitsu (2019)

Franken Fran Frantic Vol. 2 by Katsuhisa Kigitsu (2020)

[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]

#2022media #2023media #so financial diet is. fine. theres things in it that make me want to go insane bc #idk how these people live its insane the wealth #but it does give an okay launch off point to look up like savings terms #wouldnt rec it but its an old gift from my mom #i liked the scorpion rules! #it has some. issues. pretty sure the author is white. #but overall p minor just offhand comments that made me cringe.jpg and i enjoyed it #i want to be a wall is cringe.jpg in parts bc the fl is a bl fangirl #but overall its interesting its a marriage between an ace lady and a gay man #everything and anything by kabi nagata literally makes me weep like a baby. god. #wow no thank you was a fine read! easy read and good writing the humor just didn't always gel #like it just wasn't greatly to my taste lmao im not exactly a potty humor guy #tropical fish yearns for snow was a soft nice start #nothing exceptional but nice read #i married the male lead's dad is actually incredibly good #i wasn't expecting it to be this good. the lady is cringe-y to start #but she sees the ppl as well. ppl overtime (novel isekai) #and the PLOT is so. i want to know whats going on. #franken fran was always a fave manga and i was v excited to see a sequel! #its a guro body horror black comedy manga i guess is the best way to describe it #v much taste depends lmao

[crescentmp3]

did i ever tell u guys about how one of my cousins and a distant cousin tried to get me to rob a store this one time ( they ran as if there was someone behind us and i almost got kidnapped )

#yeah it was wild #so it was almost midnight and i was at my dads workplace with him since i went there sometimes #my cousin ( and distant cousin ) was there too #towards 8pm they were like ''hey . were gonna go ( whispers ) rob a store ..... for some toys .... do u wanna come ?'' #i was like ''ummm :( robbing is bad'' #( i was like 9-10 at the time btw ) #they insisted so i agreed <- he was very easy to convince #they gave me a bag then i followed them out the workplace and down the road and we went to this one toy store #we got in trying to not look suspicious to the guy working there #they put some toys in the bag and we were walking out right #apparently the guy had cameras ! #threw the bag back inside the store and then they started running while crying #( my cousin was like 11-12 btw . dont know about the distant cousin ) #anyway so i try to follow them while running since i didnt know the path back to the workplace #yeah so as was then and as is now i Cannot Fucking Run . legs hurt BAD </3 and chest #so im basically stranded in this road looking around trembling . like i said 9-10 yo #this one stereotypical kidnapper lookin guy ( blonde and tall ) comes up to me like ”Hey little princess do you want me to take you home~?” #i look up at him crying and my cartoon-learned stranger danger senses tell me to fucking scream #i almost scream EXCEPT !! here comes the ''oh thank god'' part #so the distant cousin right ? yeah his mom comes up to me ‚ grabs my wrist and then starts hurriedly taking me back to the workplace #apparently my dad had been looking around for me frantically since we were supposed to go back home already like an hour ago #yeah it was wild . scariest shit i had happen to me #oh this one other time my OTHER cousin from the same uncle took me many levels deep in the workplace ( its like a huge mall ) #again at around 8pm #thats another wild story ill unpack another day #♚ — rambling !

[landofgay]

much nicer to get home later in the day instead of. 10am

#like wow its alreDy 4 thank god! #still 3 hours til i see my bf but this is the easy part. my dad will be home in like half an hour #and then we can smoke weed #and then have dinner and do dishes #and then i can watch the new beavis and butthead #and then take a shower and be ready to go see my guyyyyy 🥰

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol #i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare #and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then. #like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things #j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions. #posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left #meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways #gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share #i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it #not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique. #to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either. #& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly #tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like #well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone. #some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao #much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here #like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No #the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here #lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day #on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style #beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it. #Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn #situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all #just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating #themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways... #sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao #and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh #or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation #lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually #that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....

[vera9]

For the character thing: Big (obviously), Porsche (u know he my boi), Vegas (😈)

Big my baby

looks: somewhat attractive | eh | not really my type | pretty | handsome | beautiful | stud | gorgeous | SWEET LORD MERCY

can you relate to this character on a personal level?: no | not really | somewhat | yes | they are me

would you date/be friends with this character in real life if they were real?: total bros | friends | best friends | date | become their steady boyfriend/ girlfriend | neither | i don’t kno

Porsche

looks: somewhat attractive | eh | not really my type | pretty | handsome | beautiful | stud | gorgeous | SWEET LORD MERCY

can you relate to this character on a personal level?: no | not really | somewhat | yes | they are me

would you date/be friends with this character in real life if they were real?: total bros | friends | best friends | date | become their steady boyfriend/ girlfriend | neither | i don’t kno

Vegas

looks: somewhat attractive | eh | not really my type | pretty | handsome | beautiful | stud | gorgeous | SWEET LORD MERCY

can you relate to this character on a personal level?: no | not really | somewhat | yes | they are me

would you date/be friends with this character in real life if they were real?: total bros | friends | best friends | date | become their steady boyfriend/ girlfriend | neither | i don’t kno

#the 'SWEET LORD MERCY' label is reserved for Tay tbh #no one tops him (except Time) #I relate to Big in that I would do many things for my loved ones but I'm not nearly as selfless #being friends is wishful thinking on my part lmao #family is extremely important to both Porsche and me #and he seems easy to be friends with #don't relate to Vegas other than feeling inadequate sometimes #thank god that's where it ends #oh and loving my pets and siblings #I love you Vegas but... y'know #asks #dreamedofyou #character rating