#that youre allergic to! so actually you can’t have it! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

circusclownproductions · 3 months

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seeing a lot of videos that are like “I didn’t know babies couldn’t have water” so here’s an incomplete list of things you need to know before having a baby

- the obvious, they can’t have water bc milk is incredibly high in water already so excess water leads to over hydration

- babies cannot have honey until 1

- if ur breastfeeding your kid and saving excess milk, make sure you label what you pumped in the morning vs at night bc your body produces different melatonin levels throughout the day and giving your baby daytime milk at night can make them more alert and fuck up their sleep schedule

- idk why ppl keep saying this but swaddling your babies or getting them those baby straight jacket things is not abuse. It chills them out cuz it reminds them of the womb

- babies have a dandruff like buildup on their head called cradle cap, and it’s very easy to deal with and remove with just some baby shampoo, a gentle scrub brush (MADE FOR BABIES!!) and a comb. It does need to be removed tho cuz it can be very painful after a while. This can also continue to happen late into toddlerhood it’s normal

- you have to clean out the creases of your baby’s skin and hands and feet they WILL collect dust😭😭

- you cannot bathe your baby until their umbilical cord naturally falls off. Use a warm damp rag until then

- tummy time is actually very important

- your baby might have a misshapen head at first (not all the time but sometimes) this will either sort itself out or they’ll need a corrective helmet ask your doctor

- I wouldn’t recommend having your baby leave the house very much until they’re at least 6 months old, especially if they’re born near cold and flu season cuz the common cold can kill a newborn

- you’re not an awful horrible person for having postpartum depression and it’s always a million times better to let your baby cry a few minutes longer than normal while you regain your composure than to freak out and give ur kid shaken baby syndrome

- you’re not an awful horrible person for giving your baby formula milk either

- don’t put shoes on your baby it’ll compromise their toe box and balance

- babies put every single thing in their mouths

- the easiest way to burp a baby is to hold them straight up (spine straight) and hold their head a bit higher

- always support their head they barely have necks

- if your baby fights away food, fights tummy time, vomits every single time you burp them, is gaining or losing an unreasonable amount of weight at a time, wheezes after eating, or goes red after eating, chances are they’re probably allergic to the type of milk they’re eating (again ask a doctor but these are just some signs it’s not just colic)

- they will wobble a lot when learning to do things but you gotta fight the urge to help them every single time cuz they gotta learn

- they’re not always spitting out baby food cuz they don’t like it they just don’t know how to eat. Like they don’t know how to push food down they only know how to stick their tongue out so be patient

- babies craniums are broken up into three parts at first that later fuse together, this is to help make birthing easier but it results in a small EXTREMELY sensitive spot in the top of their head that has no protection. This puts their brain at a high risk. Always protect their soft spot

- read to your baby!! Get cute bright colorful sensory books with sight words and read them to your baby it makes such a huge difference in their educational growth and will help them acquire a love for reading early on. And talk to them never shut up just say whatever comes to mind all the time this will strengthen their vocabulary growth also.

- babies poop like a lot. A lot. an unreasonable amount. Bring back up clothes and more diapers than you think

- no pillows or stuffies in the crib and only use a muslin blanket unless it’s especially cold to prevent suffocation

- babies kick reflexively until they’re out of their newborn scrunch (they stay womb shaped for a while) and if your baby is crying and pushing at the swaddle try letting them flail around for a minute

- consoling your baby is not spoiling them ! They need comfort and they will learn to self soothe on their own

- singing lullabies actually works, they can recognize your voice a consistent place of comfort from the womb and the cadence of lullabies is literally engineered to create a calm headspace

- for the love of god do not get boring ass beige toys. Colors are important for their neurological development

- babies are very responsive to praise from a young age so be as supportive of them as you can

- babies get constipated a lot and you have to do like tummy massages to help ease their pain the easiest way is to lay them on their backs and hold one foot in each hand, kick their feet like bicycles, scrunch up, and then stretch their legs out

- holding them on your hip too much will not cause bow legged-ness if your baby is bow legged that was always gonna happen

- they drool so so much and you have to get bibs for them so they don’t get chest eczema

- don’t use scented products on their skin cuz their skin is sooo much thinner than ours

- when your baby first starts sitting on their own never walk away from them without setting up a nest of pillows and blankets around them. Even minor head trauma can mess them up sometimes

- this one is kinda morbid and scary but sometimes babies just die out of nowhere and it’s no one’s fault or anything it’s called sudden infantile death syndrome(SIDS) and it’s about 1.3k deaths on average per year in America so not super common but still very real. 90% of these deaths happen during the first four months however edit: apparently it’s bc of an enzyme deficiency which at the very least you can take steps to try and prevent

- smoking and drinking during pregnancy WILL affect your baby and your breast milk and also might contribute to SIDS cases

- babies sometimes have a big red mark on them somewhere called a stork bite immediately after birth but typically it goes away

- babies can’t see very well for a while after birth and they’re VERY wobbly so they’ll typically bonk their head into your chest and face a lot while trying to support themselves

- female babies might have smth similar to a period the first few days after birth, this is because of the hormone transfer that happens during the birthing process and the days leading up to it

- male babies get random erections for the first few days after birth(hormone transfer again) literally do not be weird about this it’s a baby

- things like weaning your baby onto solid foods, potty training, weaning off pacifiers etc, can actually be directed by the baby and will happen naturally will minimal guidance from the parent(some guidance is still necessary) although I would do individual research into baby led weaning for food to prevent choking

- get those chewy feeding pouches to help with weaning

- the most random things will scare the hell out of your baby don’t take it personal 😭

- baby carriers are life savers (tulas are one of my favorites)

- once babies hit toddlerhood they’re tougher than you think, and a lot of their reaction is based on YOURS. they’re always going to be looking to you for how to react to a situation. Remain calm and if they’re ok they’ll calm down but if they’re genuinely hurt they’ll keep crying

- babies will most likely get ridiculously attached to an inanimate object and you have to keep this thing intact at all costs until they’re old enough to abandon it or they will throw a FIT. I got a lemur plushie from a zoo once and every single one of the kids has bonded their soul with it until about 6 years old and once a month I have to stitch him back up

- don’t compare yourself to other parents. Maybe your kid isnt getting grass fed wild caught north Atlantic cheerios but at least they’re fed. If your kid is alive and healthy and happy you’re doing a good job

- you will need 3 car seats, an infant seat, a grow with me toddler seat, and a booster seat

- getting a good diaper bag is a MUST

- the hair a baby is born with will most likely all fall out or they’ll get a bald spot on the back of their head where they sleep cuz their hair is so fragile and thin but once it grows back it grows back thick

- get like 20 muslin blankets so you always have a backup when the main ones are covered in spit up

- the babies grip IS stronger than yours (keep your hair up and keep pets away best you can)

- your best bet for your teething baby is a pacifier you can put your finger in so you can massage their gums and some chewing toys numbing cream can be dangerous and should be used sparingly

- go ahead and come to terms with the fact you’re gonna have to use a Frida Baby to manually remove snot

- babies can get hair and thread wrapped around their toes and fingers that can cut off their circulation try to make a habit of checking

- don’t hit your kid please it’s nothing but trauma and fucked up coping mechanisms from there pls empathize with your child they’re a person too

- be careful not to pull too hard on their arms and legs(like during play or holding their hand while they walk) and NEVER pick them up by their hands this will very easily cause dislocation

- they might have a little tooth like callous on their lip from their pacifier. This does not hurt them and it will go away but it may hurt during breastfeeding

- breastfeeding will make your boobs different sizes

Yeag that’s all I can think of rn but yk i Will add as I remember stuff ppl are also adding things I forgot in the tags in case you’d like to look thru that as well <3

#🍱#baby care #parenting #first time parents #newborn care #parenting tips #can’t think of any other exposure tags #‼️‼️‼️

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sharkieboi · 7 months

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headcanon that Edward Elric is lactose intolerant (hence the hatred of milk) but no one in this universe has the words for that so everyone is just like “you’re short because you won’t drink milk”

#shhh sharkie #listen. as someone who found out in like college. that im allergic to bananas.#after many years of blaming horrible digestive problems on literally anything else #sometimes when everyone around you is like ‘ohhh you don’t like/can’t do a thing that Normal people do oh you’re so weird and quirky!!1!1!1’#and then getting to be like. no I have a diagnosable reason to not be able to do/tolerate this thing #can end up actually being very validating.#ie banana allergy/auditory processing issues/visual snow [disorder? idk what the actual title is]#and also gender and sexuality shit #and a myriad of other things about me and my brain #that have been written off by parents/authority figures as ‘that’s not a real problem you’re just a mess’#‘and you need to suck it up cause this is clearly a Choice’#that bit especially.#‘you’re not [doing whatever thing authority figures have decided is best for your health]#‘clearly you’re just being defiant and there’s no other possible reason you could have to not want to do this’#like. if i was lactose intolerant and didn’t know that specifically. given the reaction. I would also not want to drink milk!

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rafayelism · 4 months

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dating the love and deepspace boys | domestic moments

featuring: rafayel, xavier, and zayne x gn!reader

(´• ω •`) ♡ modern au! can you guys tell raf is my favorite..?

rafayel

a year younger than you. lies to everyone (including you) that he’s actually two years your senior. you only found out he was younger than you when you met his parents, who have his birth certificate framed.

hates cats. despises them. they fill him with rage (fear). says he’s allergic (he’s lying).

“oh shit raf, this sucks! i guess you can’t move in with me.. i have cats”

“...you have cats?”

“yeah. 3.”

“i’m not allergic. i can move in tonight.”

chronically online. minoring in marine biology and majoring in annoying you. texts you over 200 times a day and if you don’t respond, he’s faking a horrible chronic illness. again. it’s amnesia on wednesdays, appendicitis on thursdays, chronic migraines on fridays… etc..

he has 2 followers on his private twitter. you and thomas.

over 700k followers on instagram for some reason? he sells paintings on depop (he says it's depop but you’re convinced he sells them for heinous prices on the black market)

cooks on occasion? has an apron that says kiss me im irish (he's not irish?) made you a tuna cupcake once??

pescatarian. not in the vegan/vegetarian way where he refuses to eat red meat but because he’s absolutely feral over fish. (is this cannibalism? he says its not)

lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with you but doesn’t use his bedroom. says your bed is comfier. turned his bedroom into a painting studio (IT’S for the black market you say!!) and sleeps with you.

“raf,” you sigh. “don’t you have.. homework or something?”

he sits between your legs, back against your chest as he scrolls through his phone.

“yeah,” he says. you flick the back of his head because you know he’s smirking. “it’s called assignment: you. due in two minutes.”

with his free hand, he reaches back mindlessly to grab yours. you sigh, fingers intertwining with his, a reflex as he leans his head back. his eyes meet yours and you can’t help but laugh.

“well?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he squeezes your hand. “what are the assignment details?”

he chews on the bottom of his lip as he thinks, humming while his eyes wander across your face. he swings your interlocked hands in circles. it’s raining outside, the heater is on, and rafayel is warm like hot chocolate.

“what?” he says, his cheeks a tinge pink. “you’re looking at me like that again.” a pause. he turns, his head now buried in your chest.

“just studying my homework.” you say, hands instinctively wrapping around his back. the laundry machine is running in the background, rain is falling against the window, and you faintly hear your rice cooker dinging in the kitchen. home, you think, is with rafayel.

“i can hear your heartbeat.” he says, voice muffled. “it’s super fast. you like me or something?”

“i really like you.” you say, without skipping a beat. rafayel groans into your chest, sighing in discontent.

“no fair. i’m supposed to be the flirter.”

you press a kiss onto the top of his head and you feel his body melt into yours. the two of you fall into a warm silence, his breath steady as he traces paintings into your neck.

“raf?” you mumble, eyes drooping. he hums in response. “did you pass your assignment?”

he smiles. “with flying colors.”

xavier

chronic napper. (yapper?)

has 100 late assignments. failing all of his classes yet got into the top university in your country because he got a perfect score on his entrance exams. you thought he was a nepo baby (turns out he’s just.. smart?)

his procrastination rubs off on you… he is the WORST distraction and he knows it. so smug about it and uses it to his own advantage. will perch on top of you when you’re studying and kiss down your neck until you go to sleep with him.

lives in the apartment on top of yours but is at your house most days, if not all. you ask him to move in.

“am i not already.. living with you?”

“don’t you still have your apartment, though?”

“yeah..?”

is that good for the economy?? is it financially smart? not at all, but he’s too lazy to move out and put his apartment up for lease.

xavier sleeps with his legs entangled with yours and his arms wrapped tightly around your chest. the air conditioning hums in the background as you scroll mindlessly on your phone, dimming the brightness as you hear xavier stir.

“sorry xav, did i wake you up?” you ask. he doesn’t respond, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he glares at your phone.

“xavier?” you question, swallowing a laugh at his ruffled hair and disheveled clothes.

“phone down.” he says, voice raspy with sleep and an octave lower than usual. you raise an eyebrow at him.

“can i get a pretty please in this economy?”

xavier’s eyes narrow as he snatches your phone away, snoozing the device and placing it on the nightstand next to you. his lips ghost your neck, pressing kisses against your skin as he mumbles incoherently in the dark of your bedroom.

“xavier-” you breathe, giggling at the sensation. “that tickles!”

he nips at your neck.

“bedtime. now.”

zayne

3 years older than you

he literally has his whole life together at 27 which scares you so much

“my credit card is your credit card” typa boyfriend

cooks. cleans. has a 9-5. you’re interning at the hospital that he works at (he’s head doctor!!)

you’re just a sweet little intern and zayne is the big bad monster!! everyone at work thinks he hates you because he’s extra strict on you. doesn’t give you any special treatment, ‘ignores’ you most days (but also slips meals into your locker and hands you heat packs on cold days in the hospital)

no one knows he’s dating you until one day someone sees you leaving in zaynes car.

“oh, you carpool with doctor zayne?”

“huh? no, we live together.”

“you WHAT???”

he’s a virgo……. erm……

the two of you get ready together in the morning. his guard is down when he’s sleepy and he’ll cling to you as he brushes his teeth and does his hair.

you wake up to the cold night breeze, blinking the sleep out of your eyes and shivering as you scan your surroundings. you yelp as you meet the attentive gaze of your boyfriend.

“huh? whuh? huh?” you splutter, squirming as zayne holds you tighter. he’s carrying you bridal style in his arms, his jacket around your shoulders as the two of you walk to his car. you see the bright lights of akso hospital fading away behind the two of you.

“it’s two am,” he says calmly, placing you down gently as he opens your car door for you. “you waited for my shift to end. again.”

you smile bashfully, rubbing the back of your head. “well, i didn’t wanna just leave you!”

zayne clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, eyebrows furrowed but gaze warm. he guides you into your seat, clicking your seatbelt in place.

“you can nap on the way home,” he says, closing the door and sliding into his side of the car.

the heater’s on already- courtesy of his super expensive electric car. he fastens his own seatbelt and hands you a hot tea and bread from the hospital vending machine.

“drink up. doctor’s orders.”

you grin before he leans over to press a kiss on your lips.

“thank you for waiting for me.”

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #rafayel #xavier #zayne #love and deepspace headcanons #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader #love and deepspace fluff

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portgasdwrld · 6 months

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★ Hickeys

ೃ⁀➷do they suck (lol) at hickeys, giver or receiver?, how? all answered down below by your beloved Tomie✨

ೃ⁀➷Psss this is a head-canon, take it lightly~

ೃ⁀➷ Suggestive, implied f!reader, NSFW language

ೃ⁀➷ monster trio + Law+ Ace

: ̗̀➛ Luffy

He’s the type to receive them more than to give

When he realizes he has hickeys, he’s just gonna wonder how it’s even possible and if smth hit his neck during a fight💀

Probably gonna bug Chopper about it, until he brushes him off mentioning it’s nothing

Then when you’re making out and you linger on his neck, it clicks into his mind. He yells a « ooohh, It was you! » after realizing that, it surprises you and you almost bit his skin-

He’s down to try it when you explain that you want them on you too

« You want me to suck your skin a little until it bruises? A bit like when you bruise after a fight? »

« Ugh… not the same but you got the spirit? »

He’s dense, but he tried and he didn’t do as bad as you thought

: ̗̀➛ Law

LMAO?? Wouldn’t he be the type to lowkey hit you with a scientific facts that hickeys can kill you if done wrong🤓😭

Ik he would. Im so sorry😮‍💨

On another note, tbh I feel like he’s just sooo into it, when his mind is fogged by lust. He will be making out with you and damn, he’s now leaving wet kisses all over your neck. That itself, just awaken some type of possessive strike and you’re left with hickeys a bit everywhere.

Will quietly eye them when y’all are cuddling after sex. He won’t comment on it beside if you point them out.

“They look great.”

It would be the most reaction you will get out of him. He’s so hot though- intrusive thoughts but they are real 😔

He doesn’t mind at all if you leave some on him fr. Like if it’s done within the right vibe and y’all are just kicking it and you’re riding him or y’all in lotus position, he might even groan and moan a little louder and curse under his breath.

: ̗̀➛ Sanji

Oh his mouth is ALLL OVERR your body. He’s kissing, praising, leaving hickeys all over your body. On you chest, between your thighs, on you collarbone.

He’s almost in a trance while he loves your body and mark it. He’s gotta to enjoy his pretty lover and you bet he’s gonna make it known that you are his and he’s the lucky man who has you!!

He’s so sweet about it, with sweet compliments, but it’s a bit messy too. Wet patches, mumbles from his muffled lips.

He’s SOOOOO down if you wanna do it on him. He gets very excited and can’t stop smiling and touching your body.

“Yes of course I’m down! Wanna try it rn? We got time yk..”

Best boy 🤧

ೃ⁀➷ Zoro

His neck always has some hickeys from you. He thought he hated it, but he quickly got over it and finds it hot now.

He doesn’t care too much if someone stare at them, but he will throw a curse out with a deadpan expression, if someone made a snarky comment.

He also has this possessive strike, so you bet you’re gonna have some type of bruises-hickeys on your body after y’all are done. Because he doesn’t go easy on you, he will be thrusting deep into you, while silencing you with his fingers deep in your mouth. Along with that, his mouth is nibbling on you neck and all your sensitive spots.

It’s an overstimulating mess.

He smirks satisfied when he sees you marked up, moaning his name and completely lost into his touch.

ೃ⁀➷ Ace

Oh, this man here has the biggest possessive strike out of all the men here.

I touched on the subject a little on my NSFW head canon, but he definitely love giving them. He whines when you do, because he’s apparently allergic to shirts and get slightly annoyed when each of his friends on the ship makes some jokes.

He loves that everyone knows you’re his. Because he gets to have one person for him, that actually feels love toward him and someone he can trust??! That’s the life prize!

Every time he fucks you, he makes sure that hickeys are created everywhere on your body.

He will shower you with attention and cocky comments as he sucks on to your skin.

It’s his specialty😮‍💨

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abellmunsonmovie · 2 months

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Eddie Headcanons 2.

Eddie is a biter, he’ll just randomly bite you, he calls them “Love Bites”

When Eddie has to talk about how he feels, he’ll kinda cover it up with sarcasm or jokes (he kinda does this in Flight of Icarus)

When he’s sick he tries to act like he’s fine

“Edward, you are sick, we can go out when you feel better”

“Y/N, I am fine” sniffles

He loves big red

He can’t really swim, he just kinda flaps his arms and legs and it works?

Your voice comforts him

He likes when you trace his tattoos

He’s really protective over Dustin, because he knows what it feels like not having a present father and he makes sure Dustin knows he can come to him for anything

He likes dogs but he loves cats even though he’s probably allergic

He loves to talk about his fixations but he also really likes hearing other people talk about theirs

He loves to just randomly come up to you and kiss you all over your face fast

Wayne doesn’t mind Eddie smoking weed but he hates when he smokes it in the trailer

“Damnit Eddie! If your gonna smoke that shit, do it outside!”

He always has a hairtie on his wrist

He has freckles but in the summer you can see them alot more

He was in theater but thought it wasn’t “metal” so he quit, even though he was actually really good

He says the most uncalled for things

Him and Wayne go on fishing trips

He has horrible hearing (probably because he listens to his music way too loud)

He has a bunch of cool rocks he found in his drawer

He can burp the abc’s no problem

He likes sunsets more than sunrises

He burns so easily during summer

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson headcanons #eddie stranger things #eddie munson headcanon #eddie blurb #eddie munson angst #comfort character #abellmunsonmovie writes

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starkwlkr · 2 months

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neeeeed a seb or kimi fic where the reader is a driver plsss

little lies | kimi räikkönen

requests are closed

Over the years, you had a habit of lying to the media. It all started during your first season of f1 when a reporter had asked if your parents had attended the race to which you replied that you never met your parents. It was soon revealed that both parents were in the garage watching you overtake and land a podium finish. They weren’t mad since you had done it before in school lots of times, they actually found it funny.

The internet had definitely caught on to your constant lies, some even making compilations of all of them.

The media wasn’t the only ones being lied to by you. The other drivers were also victims. You remember one time when Mark and Fernando gave you a cake for your birthday then when you ate it, you started to cough. “Does this have gluten?” You asked.

“I think so?” Mark said unsure.

“I’m allergic to gluten!”

It took about two seconds for the Red Bull driver to start panicking.

“Oh god, she’s going to die!”

“Mark, shut up! I was joking.”

Fernando wished he had a camera to capture the moment Mark thought you were going to pass away.

“One day you’re going to say the truth and none of us will believe you.” Fernando said. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Yeah, sure.

But as always, you should’ve listen to Fernando.

It wasn’t until the 2014 when you and Kimi started to date. It started with one date to a drive in movie, that very night you had kissed Kimi, one thing led to another and soon you and Kimi were dating. The first person you told was some friends from your hometown, which of course didn’t believe you.

“Fuck, the old man was right.” You told yourself one day when you realized that all those years of lying finally came to haunt you.

It was after the driver’s briefing when you couldn’t take it anymore. Several drivers were making plans to go out for dinner and they had invited you and Kimi, but you had other plans since you were going on a date.

“I can’t, I have a date.” You said. Then you heard laughs scattered around the room. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Mate, you can just say you don’t want to. Last time you lied saying you were sick then we found you at a casino.” Jenson said.

“Well this time it’s real, I have a date so I can’t go.” You replied. “And it only happened once!”

“Twice.” Kimi said from beside you. It was true, you had said no to going out for dinner another time because you were planning a trip to visit Kimi’s family.

“Oh, I guess it did happen twice. But this time it’s real.”

“Sure. Who’s the lucky guy who’s putting up with your lying mouth?” Jenson laughed.

“Kimi.” You said causally.

Again, you received laughs as a response. So you got up from your seat. “Later, losers.” You said and gave Kimi a quick kiss before you left the room.

The iceman stared at you adoringly as you left. It was clear to everyone that you were telling the truth. Kimi noticed how quiet the room had gotten and looked at the other drivers. “What?”

“She was telling the truth?” Sebastian questioned.

Kimi nodded. “You don’t listen.” He got up from his seat. He could care less if they thought he was also lying, he had a date to prepare for with the love of his life.

#kimi raikkonen x reader #formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #kimi raikkonen #kimi raikkonen x you #kr7 #kimi raikkonen imagine #f1 driver!reader #kimi raikkonen one shot

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irregulardongyoung · 4 months

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(fem!reader)

Price giving Ghost dating advice because he never seen Simon look this happy before. Whoever he fancy must be his soulmate, Price is sure of it. He will be 100% support their relationship.

...

Well, until he finds out that Ghost’s crush is his own ex-wife. The ex-wife that he is still in love with, the ex-wife that he still pine over, the ex-wife that he has to let go because of a problem, the ex-wife that he still dream about, the ex-wife that he can’t stop talking about, THAT ex-wife.

Price can’t believe his own lieutenant would betray him like this! His own soldier that he thought more like a son!

To be fair, Price never actually told anyone your name or even show your picture, you are solely known as ‘Captain’s girl’. But still! Betrayed!

Now instead of supporting them, he is doing everything to make sure these two will never become a couple.

By giving bad advice using his prior knowledge of you, like making Simon takes you on your least favorite activity so you’ll hate him.

Telling Simon that every girl loves this specific flower but you hated it. Who can deny this specific food? Turns out you’re allergic to it, and so on.

If it still doesn’t work, he still have his end card. By that he meant, wooing you behind Simon’s back and introducing you to the team as his woman.

Simon will feel betrayed by this but it’s all fair in love and war, right?

...

This means Simon can steal you from under his captain’s nose. Like Price has said, all fair in love and war.

Right?

#darlingssaturn ‘s writing #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price x reader #price x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader

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ggrapeejuicee · 4 months

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„Just… Pretend.”

summary: in which harry convinces you to spend your summer in cape cod with his parents as his ‘girlfriend.’ but everything is just pretend, your not actually his girlfriend and you never have wanted to be his girlfriend, you’ve never seen him as more than harry styles, the singer… but by the end of the summer will that change?

tropes (so far) : fake dating

part one

“It’s just for one weekend.” He pleaded, “Then you can go back to hating me. You never even have to talk to me again, I don’t care.”

You sigh, your head falling backwards with a groan. You did not want to do this at all, but he’d been persistently asking you for days.

“C’mon, please?”

You roll your eyes, “You’re on a date with a new girl every week, I’m sure any of them would be up for it.”

“I can’t just take anyone to my parent’s place.”

“Why not? Or how about you just tell them you’re not seeing anyone right now? They won’t care.”

“I just need you to come, alright? I’ll owe you one, I promise.”

“Why me? There’s a million other people you could take, besides I’ve already met your parents at a show, they’ll never believe we’re seeing each other.”

“And they really liked you!”

“There’ll be a ton of other people that they like too, Harry. Choose anyone else.”

“I can’t.” He sighs.

“You can.”

“I can’t.” He repeats.

You look at him with tired eyes, awaiting his explanation. You’d been over this a hundred times, you had no interest in pretending to be his girlfriend while he visited his parents over the summer.

“I already told them we’re together.” He says quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“What?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta be joking.”

“They just… They met you at the show, and they really did seem to like you, and they kept going on and on about how they want me to find someone who makes me happy and stuff and I shut them up by saying we’re together…”

“You’re unbelievable.” You say, annoyed.!

The fact he’d been telling his parents ridiculous lies without even telling you about it, when said lies actually involved you had pissed you off.

Harry’s parents were lovely, and a producer on his latest album you’d met them a couple times at shows- Especially during the LA residence where you and his parents sat through the concerts in a VIP booth. His mum was lovely, always smiling and knew every single lyric. She told you that she was in Harry’s 0.5% of top listeners on Spotify last year.

You thought that was cute.

 You couldn’t relate though, 5 Seconds of Summer were your top Spotify artist- Harry could never find out about that.

“They’ve been asking for me to take you to the beach house for months-“

“Months?!” You interrupt, “How long have you been telling them we’re together?”

He shrugged, “Since the end of the Forum residency?”

“Harry that was SIX months ago!” You yell, “I can’t pretend to be in a six month relationship with you, that’s ridiculous.”

He sits down on the couch, hugging a pillow.

“Yes you can. You practically know everything about me already. We spent every day of the tour together.”

“Everything about you in a career aspect.”

“Everything in general.” Harry corrects, “Sometimes I think you know more about me than I do.”

“I don’t. You’re just saying this because you’re convincing yourself that this ridiculous idea will actually work.”

“Name my first pet.”

“What?” You question. He was being stupid. There is no way you’d ever be able to spend two weeks with his parents over the summer, it was never going to work. It was a recipe for disaster.

“C’mon. You know the answer.”

He just kept staring at you. He wasn’t giving up. The longer you stayed silent the more intense his stare got. When he began to raise his eyebrows you’d given up.

“Max.” You mutter quietly, unimpressed with this whole game he was playing.

“And what am I allergic to?”

“Marshmallows, but you eat them anyway.”

Harry was grinning, and it was pissing you off. He was winning and he knew it.

“My favourite Christmas song?”

You rolled your eyes, “Christmas lights by Coldplay, but you tell everyone that it’s Merry Christmas Everyone because it’s a classic.”

Harry was giving you a ‘I told you so’ look. He wasn’t going to quit until you agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend.

You sigh softly, “Even if I agree to this… It could he really damaging for my career.”

“No one will find out.” His face was more serious now, and you could tell from the way he was looking at you that he meant it, “I’ll make sure of that.”

“But if if does-”

“It won’t.”

“But if it does, because there’s always a chance no matter what you think, then everyone will only think I got hired to tour manage because we’re ‘sleeping together.’” You say, using air quotes, just to further elaborate that this was all fake.

Harry had already got his grammy, he was at the peak of his career he’d be fine no matter what happened. But you were a female music producer in a male dominated industry, if people think you were only hired for this album because you’re fucking the singer- your career was over.

“If people find out I’ll kill you.”

“Does this mean you’re gonna agree?”

You nod, reluctantly.

“Thank you!” He jumps out of his chair, “I swear I’ll make it up to you, thank you so much.”

— — —

If you were in Harry’s position you’d be vigilant of everything, everyone, everywhere. You’d be paranoid of someone jumping through your bedroom window while you were asleep. But Harry was oddly calm. Maybe he was just like that. His lips were formed almost in a smile while he slept, and his eyes were moving under his eyelids- probably from a dream he was having. He wasn’t calm very often- recently he’d been very on edge and anxious about everything, it was nice to see him look so peaceful. You hoped for that sort of peace someday soon.

You had been in the studio going on six hours, and when he’d taken a break from recording so you could go over the tracks he’d managed to fall asleep in that short period of time.

You let him sleep while you packed up the equipment, putting things back into their assigned places, and didn’t bother waking him up until you were 100% ready to go.

“Harry,” You said softly, shaking his shoulder lightly, “Harry we gotta go.”

His eyes opened and he blinked a few times to adjust himself to the light.

“Huh?”

“We only had the studio booked until six, we gotta go.”

“Oh,” He sat up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck that had went into a cramp, “Sorry, don’t even remember falling asleep to be honest.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You shrug, “We got enough done today anyways. You deserve a rest.”

There were only three days left until the day Harry had said you were leaving for his parents place, and you had skipped over the subject every time he’d tried to bring it up. You didn’t really want to think about it because you were dreading it so badly.

“I’ll give you a ride home.” Harry said as you left the studio building.

“No, it’s alright.” You say, “I’ll just get an Uber.”

Harry glared at you, “Y/N, just get in the car.”

You glare back. But it had been a long day so getting a free lift wasn’t so bad.

“So.” He said, starting the car. “We gotta go over some things.”

“About the album?” You play dumb.

“… No.” He rolls his eyes, “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not pretending.”

“Love, you gotta tell me some stuff about you. My parents are gonna ask me shit and I don’t have a clue what to tell them.”

You groan. You should’ve stuck to your gut and got an Uber.

“Like what.”

He shrugs, “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Purple.” You reply.

“Mines is blue.”

“I know,” You reply.

“What’s your favourite song?” He asked.

You laughed to yourself a little.

“Jet black heart,” You grin, knowing you’d get some sort of reaction out of this answer, “By 5 Seconds of Summer.”

“5 Seconds of Summer?” Harry scoffs, “They’re punks!”

You roll their eyes, “They turned to pop music and half of them are married, they’re hardly punks.”

“You know one of them dated my sister, right?” Harry groaned.

“Yep,” You grin, “And wrote a banging tune about it as well.”

“Don’t remind me.” He muttered.

“Look, you asked me a question and I gave you an honest answer. You can’t complain.”

“I know, I know.” Harry said, “You got any exes?”

You raise your eyebrows, “What?”

“This is the kind of stuff I need to know! Like I dunno if I’m your first boyfriend and all that.”

“Harry… I’m 24 years old. You’re not my first boyfriend.”

You said it almost as if he was your boyfriend. It sent a chill down your spine. This was going to be a long few weeks.

“Good to know.” He said.

He dropped you off outside your apartment.

“I guess the next time I see you will be for when we’re leaving, yeah?”

You nod. There was no studio session booked until after his vacation to Cape Cod, where his families beach house was, so he was right. The next time you see him would be at the airport.

“Flights at seven.” He says.

“Got it.”

The next few weeks were going to be hell.

part two coming soon…

support me through ko-fi! (buy me a coffee!!)

#harry styles x reader #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles story #fake dating #fake dating trope #fake relationship

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dreamauri · 25 days

Text

♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part two max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”

( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )

“Come on, you can’t say he has so much potential!” Max miserably tried to hold in his laughs as you continued your rant about how much better Max would look if he put a little more effort or thought in how he dressed.

“I’m honestly starting to think he’s allergic to wearing anything . . . not Red Bull related. Like even in his streams! In his home!”

Sitting in front of his laptop with a makeshift setup in the hotel room in Japan, Max found himself unwinding from the earlier media day when he gladly accepted to join you for a game of Fifa. It wasn’t until someone brought up Lewis’ outfit from this morning did you start your little ted talk.

“La, please concentrate on the game, we’re losing!” he couldn’t stop laughing either so your team was toast either way.

“No, because I bet he's wearing his Red Bull shirt right now wherever he is.”

The reason why Max was no longer able to hold it together was because he was indeed in a Red Bull shirt. He might actually take you up on being allergic to anything not associated with Red Bull.

“I’ll gladly design a few outfits for him, I swear!”

“La-” Max put his face in his hands, shoulders shaking from laughter as his screen showed the opposing team scoring a goal. The dutch would usually feel frustrated if he were to be losing a Fifa game in any other situation, but not this one with you.

He's ready to lose and lose again, even give up his title as one of the world's top twenty Fifa players if he gets to spend time with you like this, laughing and joking; forgetting the world around, so it's just you and him.

Just two people . . . being people.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Since I have no one to show, you're stuck with me.”

It’s kind of been a routine now, having a private call after a game or upon finding spare time. You two have gotten close. You even considered “amilian” to be a close friend, per say. A close friend who you regularly vent to about work or just randomly ask riddles or dad jokes to bother.

You enjoyed his company. He was a fun person to be around. He made you feel . . . yellow in a type of way too. You never felt left out or unheard. He always had time for you, it's like you were maybe gravitating to being more than close friends . . . it's not like you can do anything about it though.

Surely people make close friends online all the time.

You stay up on your couch, scrolling through the settings of your laptop to show and rant despite having to get up in the morning. Max crossed his legs on his chair folding his arms and watching the screen as you messed around on your shared screen.

“La, it’s late.” He’s been trying to tell you for the past 10 minutes. It’s 6:30 in Japan, 7 hours ahead of the time in Paris, where you were.

Not that he’s keeping track of the time where you were, it’s just that you shared the same time zone as Monaco, and he only had the GMT+2 clock displayed on his home screen because he needed to keep track of his cats . . . not too make sure you got enough sleep or anything of that sort.

“It's only 11:30,” you shushed, pulling up pinterest. Max hung his head, trying to hold in his smile. “I could put together a whole outfit that would suit him right here and now,”

“La,” Max giggled watching you actually start to search and put things together. “I’ll make a deal with you, if you go to sleep, I'll try to get Max Verstappen in baggy jeans,”

“WHAT?!” the blond flinched at the loud noise, looking around his hotel room to make sure no one heard anything -- despite him being alone.

“You know I work in F1 right?” Max followed up, trying to hold in his smile at your silence. “La, you forgot?!”

“I’m sorry!” you pleaded, holding your hands in a begging motion despite him not seeing anything.

Max put his hand on his chest and pretended to be offended when he was smiling really wide to the point his cheeks hurt. “My best friend doesn't know what I do for a living,” he gushed in fake hurt.

Your mind blanked at the title. Best friend?

“You do know what my job is, right, La?”

“. . .” You looked away embarrassed, you’ve known the guy for how long and don’t even know what his profession is.

Max couldn’t stop his giggles. “Go to bed, La. I’ll get Max in baggy jeans for you.”

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey um, million?”

“I thought I told you to go to bed?” Max chuckled, crouched in front of his suitcase, digging through it in hopes to find a pair of baggy jeans or a white shirt that he probably doesn't own.

“I am in bed technically . . .” The blond looked over to his laptop on his desk, the call still going. “You work in F1,” Max felt his heart jump in anxiety for a second, there's no way you figured him out.

“Yeah?”

“Well um . . . my boss chose me to go see how things were going with McLaren at the Monaco gp,”

The dutch perked up at your announcement. “Really? That's great!”

“Y-Yeah, it is,” you stuttered, agreeing. you crossed your arms, looking at the email congratulating you on your phone screen. “I mean, I'm glad, this is an experience of a lifetime. I get to drag along a few interns with me as well.” Max frowned, your tone did not match with the news you were announcing.

“What's wrong?” He got up, sitting on the desk chair, looking at your profile picture, the concern was clear in voice, as if you could feel him sitting beside you on your bed and gently rubbing your back to comfort you.

“Well, I don't have anyone to go with - the interns don't count . . . and I don't know anyone in Monaco or the attendees-- except you technically . . . I haven’t been on my own for that long before,” you sighed.

Max furrowed his eyebrows, trying to decipher what you were asking of him.

“Is it-” you cut yourself of with a sigh. “Can I hang out with you sometime? During the weekend?” Max stayed silent, feeling his heart pounding to the point he was scared the organ would explode out of his chest.

“I mean,” Max cleared his throat to hide the crack in his voice that arose from the anxiety he was drowning in. “I’m not traveling with the team every weekend, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be in Monaco . . . I’ll have to ask my boss.” he replied quietly and slowly, trying to comfort you still. “There’s still a few weeks before Monaco, so . . . I don’t know for sure.” He whispered, scratching the back of his head.

He was digging himself a grave. Asking Horner if he’s going to be in Monaco when he is the driver and already lives in Monaco? It’s too late now to be honest about who he is, he dug this hole himself and now he’s stuck in it.

It’s not like he can be like ‘oh, yeah of course you can hang out with me. Oh, I’m Max Verstappen by the way, the guy who’s driving the best car and winning all the races, so I can get you VIP tickets and a hot lap too if you want.’

“I’ll try my best to be there,” the blond whispered. You could almost feel him brushing your hair comfortingly. “We can get ice cream or go sightseeing. I know this really good cafe you’ll like . . .” Max will just have to keep digging his hole.

proof reading credits to the lovely and amazing @classiclitfreak <3

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delaware-lemme-smash · 5 months

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Could we have some hcs of reader referring to some of the older MHA men (coughAizawacough) as "beekeeping age" and then they make her explain it? LMAO.

For those who don’t spend all their time on TikTok like I do, ‘beekeeping age’ refers to an attractive older man, usually in 40s/50s. Some of these guys technically don’t apply but we’re putting them in anyway!

Characters: Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead, Yagi Toshinori/All Might, Maijima Higari/Power Loader, Sasaki Mirai/Sir Nighteye

Contents: The existential struggle of trying to explain a meme to people who aren't chronically online.

Aizawa Shouta/Eraserhead

Age: 31

Yes, he’s only in his thirties, but Aizawa has the vibe of a retiree. He looks like someone who should be muttering “I’m too old for this shit” at any minor inconvenience. In fact, he often does. He’s said it several times today.

Most especially when you looked over at him and told him that he looks like he’s ‘beekeeping age’. Now, as a teacher, Aizawa isn’t as out of step with popular culture as he might like you to think he is. Even if he doesn’t really bother with social media himself, he has twenty students who are all hooked to their phones like it’s a dialysis machine. He picks stuff up just by proximity, and it’s not the first time he’s heard the phrase ‘beekeeping age’. And while he might have a vague idea of what it means, he’s not just going to let you get away with calling him that.

He looks straight at you, lifts an eyebrow and asks, “What does that mean?”

Which leaves you floundering a little, because you have to explain to Aizawa that it means you think of him as an attractive ‘older’ man.

While he’s the furthest thing from vain, he finds himself a little bit offended.

“What the hell do you mean ‘older’? I’m thirty-one.”

“You have to admit, Shouta, you do give off the vibe of a grizzled older man.”

“I’m too old for this shit.”

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

Age: 55+

Toshinori’s the only one who really qualifies for this trope, and naturally, he has absolutely no idea what you’re referring to when you tell him that he’s beekeeping age. He grins uncertainly at you.

“I’m…not sure if that’s a compliment or not, but I’ve always thought that beekeeping looks like a relaxing hobby! As long as you’re not allergic!”

Of course, you take a little pity on him and explain that it means he’s a hot older guy.

“Oh, are you referring to a DILF?”

Once you’re done spraying your coffee or whatever you were drinking everywhere, you demand to know where Toshinori heard that word and if he knows what it means. Let’s be real, Toshinori doesn’t run his own social media and doesn’t know squat about memes.

“Oh, a charming young lady walked up to me at a signing once and informed me I am what the young people call a DILF. Still can’t get anyone to tell me what it means! Slang these days! Ha!”

I dare you to try and get Toshinori to refer to himself as a DILF in front of Aizawa. Just for the hell of it.

Maijima Higari/Power Loader

Age: 41

Higari can’t catch a break. Not only is he very short and look a couple decades younger than he actually is, leading to a lot of unfortunate misunderstandings, now he has some whippersnapper calling telling him to go start a beehive.

He’s probably the only one on this list that actually knows what it means. I feel like because he’s so in line with cutting edge technology that he’s pretty on top of social media as well? He doesn’t seem like the type to lose step with the rest of the world when it comes to these things. So you don’t even have to explain what you mean when you tell him he’s beekeeping age.

“Buzz off.”

Sasaki Mirai/Sir Nighteye

Age: 38

At first Sir Nighteye thinks you’re making some kind of joke. He stares you down, looking rather menacing even while his mind is turning over the phrase ‘beekeeping age’, looking for the pun or the play on words. When he can’t find it, he finally has to admit defeat and ask you gravely:

“What does that mean?”

Sir Nighteye’s a little put out when you tell him it’s about good looking older men, because he doesn’t consider himself particularly old. Pacify him by telling him that he just gives off the dignified air of a mature man. He might scoff, but he’ll be somewhat more mollified.

“I suppose I can accept that as a compliment. Although I think you ought to come up with better jokes. That one didn’t even contain a pun.”

#delaware lemme smash #bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #Aizawa Shouta #Eraserhead #All Might #Yagi Toshinori #Maijima Higari #Power Loader #Sasaki Mirai #Sir Nighteye #bnha x reader #Aizawa x Reader #All Might x reader #Power Loader x reader #Sir Nighteye x reader #Mod Rig

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its-your-mind · 3 months

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okay so like. Kim dokja is definitely allergic to tomatoes, right? (see: this post) Like he thinks he just doesn’t like them but it’s because they taste like burning? Spicy fruits? Leave a film in his mouth for hours? Like he has no idea why everyone Fucking Loves This Fruit cuz it Fucking Sucks

anyway hc that it’s ysg who finally actually figures out somethings wrong bc. yjh has taken it as a Personal Challenge to sneak tomatoes into Something and get Kim Dokja to say he likes it, except no matter how buried in a recipe they are, kdj immediately notices and like. throws a fork at him. one time after the fork misses yjh (he is very fast and has honed all of his senses. the only forks that hit him are the ones he lets hit him. (nothing goes over my head. my reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.) omg wait he WOULD say that though okay anyway) and sticks into the wall, handle out, kdj just starts ranting about how he just doesn’t understand why yjh uses tomatoes in everything when they’re like. spicier than chili peppers, and there is an ALMOST FULL jar of gochujang RIGHT THERE that he could use to achieve the spice and it would be WAY BETTER AND EASIER. Cuz tomatoes don’t even add flavor to food, they just overpower anything they’re in! and they leave such a horrible gross film in your mouth and you can’t even make it go away with water and…

and then yjh is like. hold the fuck up. is that how all my food with tomatoes tastes to you??? and kdj is like. yes???? Is it not supposed to??????? why do you put tomatoes in it then?!?!??!?? and yjh is like CUZ THEYRE SWEET AND PROVIDE A GOOD FLAVOR BALANCER TO SPICE????????? and kdj is like BALANCE????????!?!?!! and before they start fuckign. attacking each other with swords. ysg is like wait Dokja-ssi have tomatoes always tasted like that to you? both cooked and raw tomatoes? and kdj is like. ??? yes??? do they not taste like that to you? and ysg is like no and I don’t think they’re supposed to. and lsh is like hold on. have you never been allergy tested before? and kdj’s like ??????? No????? and so she’s like well we can go to my office tomorrow but it sounds like you’re allergic to tomatoes. and kdj’s like what? the fuck?? SO THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE POISON meanwhile in the background yjh is having a full internal breakdown bc apparently he has been going OUT OF HIS WAY to feed the love of his life something that is ACTIVELY HARMING HIM and so when kdj turns around to gloat like hA I tOLD you tomatoes were awfu— why are you hugging me WhY aRE YOU CrYING and then before yjh can say ANYTHING he’s like NO WAIT ITS FINE ACTUALLY I CAN EAT THE TOMATOES I DONT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE ME SPECIAL ALLERGY FOOD and everyone is just staring at him agape or facepalming bc ofc he would complain and gripe and moan when it was just a personal preference but as SOON AS IT WAS AN ACTIVE DANGER TO HIS LIFE he insists that it’s fine. Yjh just glares at him until he trails off mid word. and then yjh turns around to grab everything out of the fridge that has tomatoes in it but lgy and sys are WAY AHEAD OF HIM and have already started a bonfire in the yard and are just hurling every tomato-touched food item in the house into the flames. tomatoes never cross the kimcom threshold again. hsy finds all of this fucking hilarious until she realizes they’ll never be allowed to bring pizza into the house again (don’t look at me like that yoo joonghyuk it’s Selena Kim’s fault you shouldn’t have let her into the group regression if you didn’t want her american food tastes to spread)

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscent reader #omniscient reader novel #orv novel #orv novel spoilers #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #joongdok #yoo sangah #lee seolhwa #shin yoosung #lee gilyoung #han sooyoung

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museandwords · 25 days

Text

taking your light inside (bucky barnes)

Warnings: female reader, pussy eating, reader is a brat, use of 'little girl' in bed (once one reference to reader's pussy), bucky is an animal, reader hates bucky (not really), it's just porn. that's it.

Author's Note: this is pretty much a continuation of this, no plot, we allergic. big thanks to @samodivaa 🫶

This has been your married life.

If Bucky was not out doing god knows what (Something criminal, you’re sure), or the two of you aren’t in society making an appearance, then you’re in bed with some part of Bucky stuffed inside of you.

In various positions.

However he’s feeling that particular day. Lately, he’s been fucking you from behind with your hands held behind your back as he plows into you. He’s been really passionate about his face between your thighs as of late.

You could kill him. You would, you will.

You just have to get your no-good husband out from the spot between your legs where he is buried as he licks long, pointed stripes against your folds, like you’re the best tasting treat he's ever had.

Bucky's intense focus was solely on you, his fingers digging into your hips as he devoured you with an animalistic hunger. He relished in the sounds you make, the way your body writhed beneath him, every movement and noise driving him to further heights of satisfaction and closer to losing control.

Your hand comes down to his hair, you have a tuft of his locks in your fist as you pull. His startling, baby blue gaze darkened as the two of you made eye contact.

"Bucky..." You whine, your eyes screwed tight as he begins to suckle on your clit. He forces out another cry from your plush, swollen lips.

Your legs were brought onto his broad shoulders, he wears your thighs like earmuffs, muting everything else but the sounds you’re making.

Bucky couldn’t get enough of you, your feisty, bratty attitude had trapped his attention and affections in ways no other woman had before.

He would get on his knees for you and he has done so, almost every day.

This was the only way Bucky could get that snot-nosed spoiled attitude out of you, tongue-fucking you dumb until you were nothing but a drooling, whimpering mess.

Your cries of his name spurred him on, his rough beard tickling your sensitive skin as he intensified his ministrations. The taste of your slick on his lips only served to heighten his own arousal, his more primal instincts kicking in to possess and pleasure his wife in every way possible. Your smell is like a drug to him, he can’t get enough.

Your body shivers, feeling that delicious beard burn that makes your toes curl. You aren’t polite or shy enough to stay quiet, even though the house staff can probably hear you all the way in the kitchen.

It’s heaven. Bucky may be a demon from hell, but his mouth and his dick were heaven-sent.

“God…I hate you.” You moan as you push his face further into your folds. This is the only time you’re remotely dominant or aggressive in bed, when he licks your pussy.

It’s also the only time you say that to him.

You actually don’t really hate him, not right now anyway.

You breath heavily, feeling Bucky spread your folds with his fingers as he gives a very hard suck against your clit which causes your hips to stutter.

Bucky pulls away from your glistening core, a string of slick connecting his lips to you as he brings two fingers and plunges them deep into your swollen, sensitive core.

“I know, darling.” Bucky responds as he presses his thumb against the area of your clit and rubs gentle circles. His eyes fall down to where he’s stuffing you full. He can’t get enough of this sight, it literally haunts his thoughts, consumes him, he’s never been so pussy-whipped before.

“But she doesn’t,” He says, cocky and amused as he rubs against that spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll into the back of your skull. “Greedy little girl.”

Shut up, get off me, you mean to say, but all that comes out is a high-pitched squeaky moan.

It’s so degrading too, the fact that you’re naked save for your lacy bra holding your breasts in place while he’s still fully dressed, dress pants and a white button down shirt. His hair was tied in a neat, low bun until you yanked it out of place. Now it’s sticking up where you pulled at it and clinging to his jaw.

You hate how pretty Bucky Barnes is.

Bucky pulls his fingers from you with a loud slick noise and you whine at the loss.

His hands come down as he shoves his hips in between your legs, and he’s moving to work on his belt, not even bothering to remove it fully, just undoes the buckle and works on his button and zipper.

You’re a panting mess below him as you watch, you lift yourself so you’re leaning against your forearms and look up at him with such intensity, so much fire for such a small little thing.

Bucky hums.

“Mrs. Barnes,” He says as he pulls out his thick length from his briefs, he only bothers to push down his pants and underwear just to his midthigh.

He slaps his length once, twice against your soaked folds, and then he rubs his cockhead up and down, letting it catch in your hole. He groans, and his brow furrows as you watch him shiver.

As cool and collected as he pretends to be, he can never hide just how down bad he is for your pussy.

“I don’t know how a spoiled little brat like you has the kingdom of God between your legs.” He says as he sinks into you.

You jolt, never fully prepared for his sheer size as he buries himself to the hilt and he forces a gutted moan out of you.

“Lucky me.” He groans as he rests his forehead against yours, his eyes shut as he relishes in the way your velvety walls cling to him, how your warmth seems to encapsulate him. He couldn’t walk away, even if he wanted to.

Your eyes move over his face, studying the seemingly blissed out expression he wears as he’s inside of you. It’s such a strange thing, to see him in this light; his face tight in pleasure. It makes him look more like a man than the demon he pretends to be.

“Move.” You hiss. Bucky sucks his teeth.

“As you wish, Mrs. Barnes.” Bucky doesn’t need to be told twice. His right hand is planted hard on the headboard as he pulls back from your face, his left hand, the cold metal making you gasp as it slides up and spreads your right leg further before he brings it to rest over his shoulder as he begins to rock his hips into yours.

He likes how flexible your hips are.

The raw drag of his cock makes your eyes roll as you focus on the feeling.

Each thrust makes you breathless. Every time his cockhead brushes against your cervix you see stars. You’ve learned quite quickly you enjoy the rougher fucks, when he takes you like a mindless animal chasing a high.

Your breasts bounce from the sheer velocity of the way Bucky fucks into you. The softness of your tummy has Bucky salivating, his hand comes to rest on it.

His eyes dart between his hand on your tummy and the vision of his cock sinking into your wet heat over and over.

You focus mostly on the way your walls cling to his cock, you relish in the feeling of his thick length filling you up. That’s your favourite part.

Bucky licks his thumb before he brings it to your clit and begins to rub circles. Your chest heaves as your pussy throbs tightly around him. You both groan and Bucky throws his head back as his eyes flutter closed.

You’re close now, he’s been working you for the past hour with no relief, he wanted you to cum on his cock today, and that pressure in your depth has been growing, Bucky’s going to make it pop.

Your hand comes up to hold your left breast as your right hand comes to wrap around his hip, your fingers grip into the side of his ass as you try to make him go deeper. He laughs breathlessly.

“I’m all yours, darling.” He breathes as he begins to grind into you, he hovers over you as he folds you up, his pubic bone rubbing against your clit as he shifts. You moan, loud, and before you can even think, you’re pulling him into a kiss, your hands on his face as your mouth meets his.

And you explode. You fall apart on his cock and your walls tighten around him. You pull him into you, refusing to let go as your pussy pulsates and you moan into the kiss. Above you, Bucky seizes as your pussy squeezes him and forces him to cum.

“Oh, fuck.” He groans against your mouth as he begins to milk his orgasm, his hips snapping short and sweet against yours which causes some aftershocks in both of you. You can feel him throb inside of you. You’re both breathless as you look at each other.

Bucky’s expression reads satisfaction, relaxation, and something else you can’t pinpoint.

Before either of you can think, he leans down and kisses you again. His softening cock still inside as he wraps you in his arms and pulls you flush against him. You whine into the kiss for a moment, though you don’t fight it. Not this time.

When he pulls away, he kisses your face, your cheeks, your nose, your chin, up your jaw.

“Don’t…say that again.” He breathes, he tries to be firm but there’s a layer of vulnerability, of begging in his voice. Your brow furrows.

“I can’t listen to you telling me you hate me.” He admits, his forehead rests on your breast bone as he places soft, gentle kisses there.

He’s always oddly affectionate after sex.

Your gaze softens as your hand comes up to cradle the back of his head. You’re always a little thrown off when it comes to showing him affection, but you do it each and every single time.

“Then what do I say?” You ask, your eyes are on the ceiling because if you try to look at him you’re going to melt.

“That you love me.” Bucky says immediately. Your stomach drops, and your heart flutters. He bites your breast and you let out a cry.

The audacity of this man never fails to catch you off guard.

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

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disneyprincemuke · 4 months

Text

you say nothing back

being in the hospital has never left a good taste in your mouth, even more when it’s your boyfriend that’s on the bed with an iv line connected to his elbow. it’s unsettling, saying ‘i love you’ to someone who’s in the depths of his medication.

you sigh and rest your chin in your palm, propping yourself up with your elbow by the edge of the bed. “you should wake up so i can say it to your face, you know.”

you stare longingly at his still hands when you feel something weigh your chest down.

you haven’t been with oscar considerably long. well, to both of you — and at your ripe ages of barely even turning 23 — 7 months is a very long time to be with someone. though, you find that your more experienced friends and mother disagree that it’s a significant amount of time to be head over heels for a boy.

one thing that they all agree on is the fact that you should have made your feelings clear instead of staying in the grey area together like two idiots. there should be a known status.

but you didn’t feel like you needed it. you and oscar have both agreed that you’re happy where you are, and that things should go at its own pace. take it one day (date) at a time.

these past few days, however, have felt like a fever dream. last week, you almost blurted it out to him when he had driven you home from a full-day date. luckily, you’d caught yourself at the last second and bit your tongue.

you weren’t sure, at the time, that it wasn’t just something you were saying out of habit. you’re usually very loose with the phrase: with your best friends, family, even sometimes yelling it in the bathroom of a club in the late hours. not saying it to oscar felt off to some degree.

in some way, it also felt right.

you can’t believe that it took an accident for you to realise that you are damn sure about saying it to him. now you’re here in oscar’s hospital room with a heavy heart and droopy eyes — you’ve been here for hours waiting for oscar to regain consciousness.

you sigh again, slightly louder this time, and trace shapes over the back of oscar’s hand. “it’s kind of unfair; i said it while you’re unconscious and you’ve said nothing back.”

“because i was unconscious,” you hear oscar croak out, eyebrows furrowed and his head moving slightly as his eyes slowly open.

you barely process the fact that he’s awake. all that floods your head is the fact that oscar has managed to turn his hand over to hold yours in his, giving it a soft and gentle squeeze. he smiles when your eyes widen and lips part at him being awake. “what did you say to me?”

you purse your lips together, face carving into confusion. “what?”

“i was just waking up when you were saying something about saying something to me and not getting a response,” he laughs, adjusting himself to sit up. you scramble to your feet, helping him adjust the pillows behind him to give him a structure to lean on. he thanks you softly, pushing you down gently to sit you back down in your seat. “i was, in fact, unconscious. so you should tell me again so you can get a response.”

immediately, you shake your head and push your seat away from oscar to keep your distance. you’re not risking embarrassing yourself simply because you can’t control yourself any longer. perhaps that’s actually a good thing? maybe you just need to get it over and done with.

“no, it’s really nothing. it’s not even important,” you laugh, hiding your face away to shield the blush that’s creeping onto your cheeks.

“come on,” oscar laughs. “tell me, please?” he gestures to himself with a small pout. “look at me — how can you say ‘no’ to me?”

“you can’t use that as a bargaining chip. that’s foul.”

“there are no rules in life, dear.”

“you’re in the hospital for something that could have been entirely avoided.”

“it’s just an allergy attack.”

“i know! could have been entirely avoided if you’d just told me that you were allergic to seafood, oz!”

“that’s besides the point!” he throws his head back, sniffling softly. he reaches forward for your hand and pats the back of yours. “what is it? you know you can tell me anything.”

you sigh and shake your head. “i can’t. and, it’s really not important.”

oscar drops your hand. he grabs your cheeks, lifting your head to meet your eyes. “please tell me? i promise i’ll listen.”

this is the first time you’ve ever been scared to tell someone you love them. it’s just always come so naturally to you because some small part of you always knew that you’d get a similar response. with oscar, it’s different.

it could be the constant stoic stare or the way that he isn’t typically a person with many words. he’s very reserved and careful with his words; often soft-spoken and not quick with his anger. it’s new to be associated with somebody who is so thought out with himself.

one would even wonder how someone like yourself ended up with oscar in the first place. not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just that you’re opposites. but oscar loves to argue that it’s your extroverted nature that made you fit so well together. you love talking, and he loves listening. if you asked him again, he would tell you that he loves your voice, your accent — hearing you talk.

“oz.”

“just say it,” oscar scoffs, a small smirk stretching his lips. he exhales softly and blinks slowly. “i have a feeling i know what you’re about to say to me. for the record, i feel the same way.”

@cashtons-wife @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification

#oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke isily

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unorthodoxfaithxx · 1 month

Text

Soft Yandere Simp with CamGirl Reader, part 2

3, 2, 1, FINALLY IT’S TIME! He can hardly contain himself as he counts down the days until he finally gets to meet you in person.

During your nightly video chats with him, which he’s grown to cherish dearly, you brought the idea of meeting up to his attention. You have no idea how happy he was that you brought it up on your own accord!

Through some shady research, he already knows you are about 3 hours away from his home-city. It wouldn’t hurt to drive your way. He’d row a damn boat for hours if it meant getting to see you in person.

The two of you decide on meeting up for a picnic, and then a shopping date at the mall closest to your vicinity.

The night before the designated meetup, he sits at his computer desk studying everything he had learned about you over the past couple of months, lest he forgets something important.

He wishes he had a perfect memory, but he doesn’t. So he opted to writing down every fact he had ever learned about you in a special journal, dedicated to you and only you. All your likes, dislikes, blood type, height, weight (all three of which he had to break into your medical records to find) , favorite games, health issues, the amount of freckles on your face—every little detail he knew about you was written down, along with many, MANY hearts and grade-school doodles because he really can’t help it. You make him feel like a giddy kid again.

Saturday morning. It’s show-time. He leaves thirty minutes early, dressed up and ready to tackle the day and meet the love of his life for the first time. He shoots you a text when he arrives (Did he ever mention his background screen was a photo of you?), nervously standing at your doorstep with a box of your favorite chocolates in hand, as well as a little vase with succulents in it, since you’re allergic to the pollen in actual flowers.

You greet him with a hug and he just about melts in your arms, taking in your scent and rubbing his face into your beautiful locks.

You’re pretty on camera, but nothing beats the real thing. You’re simply a goddess in the human form. He wishes he could take a photo to capture this moment forever, but his eyes will have to make do.

The drive to the park is an awkwardly quiet, but serene one. He swears you might be able to hear his heart pounding the entire ride, despite the music playing in the background (a playlist he made dedicated to you, obviously). When he glances over to the passenger seat, you’re gazing out the window with the cutest little smile on your face. He’s happy you’re happy.

When the two of you arrive, he opens the trunk and removes all the supplies he brought to ensure today’s picnic would be great. He brought a giant blanket for the occasion, a small speaker for music, and even packed sandwiches and cookies that he had made himself, praying to god they would taste good. He wasn’t the greatest cook, so he watched about five different baking videos on how to make the perfect cookies. He hopes Youtube hasn’t failed him yet.

He silently thanks whatever god lives in the sky when you take a bite into a cookie and compliment his baking skills. You take another bite and moan, making him feel ten times hotter than the warm spring day already made him feel.

30 minutes pass and both his and your bellies are full. You lay down on the blanket, inviting him to do the same, and he nervously lays next to you. He relaxes once you intertwine your fingers with his. He thinks he’s never felt more at peace than in this moment, relaxing with you. The two of you talk about random things, watching the clouds in the sky morph into various shapes as time passes.

Eventually, you both pack up and head to the mall. You buy him a figure from his favorite video game, and he gets you a new set of earrings. You laugh when his face turns fully red as you two walk into a store specializing in lingerie.

He feels like he might faint from the sheer intense feelings he has when you ask him to pick something out, ‘just for his eyes only’ you say with a whisper into his ear.

If he didn’t have such good self control he’d bang you in the try-on rooms right then and there. But no. He’d be a gentlemen.

But be prepared for all his pent up longing when you two finally share an intimate time together. Let’s just say he has…plenty in store for you :)

The date ends with you being dropped off back home. You invite him in for a drink, and chat a little more before it becomes late. He finds your yawns adorable, and he kisses you on the forehead before heading out for the night.

He sincerely hopes you don’t ever find the tracking device he’s planted in your purse when you weren’t looking. He convinces himself it’s for peace of mind since he’ll know where you are, whenever you are. To protect you. That’s what good boyfriends do, right?

Wait. Are you two even dating now?

He wants to pull over on the drive home and just sit in utter defeat because his dumbass totally forgot to ask this.

He sighs as he asks the dumbest, most cliche question in the world. He shoots you a text.

“Hey, Y/N. What are we? (｀・ω・´)”

#male yandere #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere male #yandere writing #yandere x reader #yandere drabble #soft yandere #obsessive yandere #yandere thoughts #yancore #yandere blog

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