#the first entry was a sketch of the beach in cali
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let it be known that I completed my journal today, like I wrote on the last available page for it
holy shit
#dania rambles about shit#its a green leather one that I bought for summer vacation 2013#it lasted me ten fucking years#what the fuck a whole decade#we forgot to take it with us when we went on vacation in august before 8th grade started#like I wrote in it each time something important enough happened that I'd remembered its existence#we'd had to find it through all the piles of papers and notebooks and sketchbooks on our desk#or when we got the book shelves and couldn't keep it in the same spot for us to find omfg#like this journal was there when I met the most important people of my life#wrote in it when I graduated and went to college#wrote in it sometimes when I had to just write out my thoughts that were keeping me up at night#the process of my handwriting getting to what it is today like similarities can be seen to the chicken scrall I had ten years ago#yet its so damn different to the chicken scrall we have today lmao#the first entry was a sketch of the beach in cali#it was done when I got back from vacationing and realised I forgot it which defeated the purpose of why I got it in the first place#as in to write all the things I did on those days spent away from home#so it became tradition to just forget the journal and a joke to try and finish it at all#the last entry I made today because I finally stopped procrastinating and make the important phone calls#we reached an epiphany of sorts and could finally fill out those last two pages that had been sitting blank since last year#literally closing a chapter of my life#a whole book on it really#idk about getting a new one#like what if it takes another ten years to finish?#also the sketchbooks have served for the same purpose recently when writing letters I can't bring myself to send#plus sketches to go along with whatever brain rot we have going on#hmmmm decisions decisions
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Long Distance (Chapter Three)
ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE
*********************
From Steve-- I know it's early, but I'm headed out for a run. Just wanted to say good morning.
From Tony -- Well good morning artist boy. Enjoy your run.
From Steve-- Sorry, did I wake you? I didn't actually expect you text back. What are you doing awake so early?
From Tony -- Haven't gone to bed yet actually. Got busy working, lost track of time.
From Steve -- Honey, it's 5am please go lay down and get some sleep
From Tony-- Honey?
From Steve -- Is that weird? We've been talking for a while, seemed like the right time to say it. But I don't have to.
From Tony--No, it's fine. As long as you're fine with me calling you weird things
From Steve -- call me whatever you want Tony
From Tony -- sure thing, schmoopsy doodle.
From Steve -- You're delirious honey.
From Tony-- You know, you would think so? But I'm actually like this all the time.
*******************
From Tony-- Got a full class schedule today?
From Steve -- Hey Tony. Just an afternoon lecture then I'm off the rest of the day. Going to paint the spare bedroom. What about you? Stuck in the office all day?
From Tony-- heading to California actually. Business trip. I'll be gone until Tuesday.
From Steve -- You gonna be out of contact all weekend? Honey I hate that idea.
From Tony-- don't be ridiculous. I'll glue my phone to my hand and you can text me all you want. Out of contact. What is that? No one is ever out of contact anymore. Text me whenever you want, I'll text you back every time.
From Steve -- That sounds wonderful.
From Steve-- And don't you dare say anything about long distance or I won't text you at all
From Tony-- Stick in the mud. You never let me have any fun
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From Steve-- how's Cali? I like the idea of your stretched out on the beach soaking up the sun. You good and tan? Drinking Mojito's under a palm tree.
From Tony-- I wish. California is lovely but lonely. Can't wait to get back to New York. I like the coast but I prefer the city.
From Steve-- Seems a little late to ask this, but do you have someone waiting for you in New York?
From Tony-- Not unless you count Pepper, but if she's waiting its usually not a good thing. I just sleep a little better in my own bed, that's all.
From Tony-- But I'll also be back in the same time zone as you which is a plus. Now we can talk all day without a four hour time difference. And, you know all these long distance charges are a real bitch. I don't think my phone bills have ever been this high.
From Tony-- Worth it, though. Totally worth it.
From Steve -- You are so cute, Tony. Stupid long distance comments aside, you are adorable.
From Tony-- you don't know that I'm adorable. You’ve never seen a picture of me. I could be hideous.
From Steve -- don't need a picture honey, I can tell just from talking to you. Adorable. And it's got nothing to do with your looks. Everything to do with you charm.
**************
From Tony-- Hey professor, I'm back in New York.
From Steve -- Real glad you made it safe Tony, sure missed hearing from you all day.
From Tony-- Yeah sorry about that. I slept the entire flight home, now I'm heading up to the office to get some work done.
From Steve -- Maybe just take the night off, huh? We can get all caught up, want to do a video or something? I'd love to talk for a while.
From Tony-- Ooh tempting professor, but I've really got to get some paperwork done. I wasn't half as productive on this trip as I should have been, and Pepper might do something drastic if I don't get my signature on at least a dozen documents tonight.
From Steve-- one day we will have to sit down and you can explain exactly what it is you do that keeps you so busy all the time.
From Tony -- yeah? I would be alright with that. We could sit down and talk. Or you know...not talk.
From Steve -- Are you propositioning me?
From Tony-- ….Is it working?
*********************
From Steve -- assigned a project in one of my entry level art classes for an anatomy sketch. Eight different students turned in nude sketches of themselves. I had to call in another teacher to help just so I wouldn't feel weird about grading them.
From Tony-- I feel like I'm not supposed to be laughing but I absolutely cannot stop laughing. Is it just terrible being a super foxy professor? You poor thing.
From Steve -- I wonder how I make it clear to all these nineteen year olds that not only am I too old for them, and completely not interested but I'm also gay?
From Tony-- Well that answers that question, doesn't it? All those girls are going to be devastated. I bet next semester every kid in your class is a boy, just you wait.
From Steve -- I would really rather prefer that none of my students took my class with the hope of seducing me. You didn't realize I was gay?
From Tony-- well you never said. I didn't want to assume. Didn't want to get my hopes up I suppose
From Steve -- Really? Was the shirtless picture not enough of a hint?
From Tony-- I don't know… you better send another one so I can be sure.
******************
From Tony -- so this morning my assistant walks in and just took my phone out of my hand. Locked it in a drawer and told me I couldn't have it back until I finished looking over something boring.
From Tony-- Actually her exact words were. “You can have your phone back after you act like an adult for a full hour.” So rude.
From Steve -- Damn Tony. What did you do?
From Tony-- I picked the lock. Or at least I tried to pick the lock. She smacked my hand away.
From Steve -- Well, frankly she sounds terrifying
From Tony-- Frankly, she is terrifying. Redheads. What can you do?
From Steve -- Well I'm glad you figured something out, because I would have missed you if you didn't text me all day
From Tony-- Why professor, if I didn't know better I would think you liked me.
From Steve -- Tony, if we weren't so far away I'd pass you a note. Check yes or no, do you like me too?
From Tony-- You're dumb. And sweet. Go away
From Steve – You want me to go away, Tony?
From Tony-- hey if you're going to pass notes like a fourth grader, I can respond like a fourth grader. You're lucky I'm not pulling your pigtails and pushing you in the mud at recess.
From Steve-- Fucking. Adorable.
******************
From Tony-- What are you doing this weekend, blondie? Got any good plans?
From Steve -- Same thing I do every weekend, I suppose. Getting up early for a run. Working around the house. I have a stack of art projects to look through and grade before Monday. What about you, honey?
From Tony-- probably just gonna text my hot teacher friend and distract him from all the productive housework and grading he’s supposed to do
From Steve-- I'm sure you hot teacher friend loves that idea. Even though, maybe not so much the tag of “Friend.” Not a huge fan of that.
From Tony -- Not so much friend?
From Steve -- not so much. Or at least, maybe for not too much longer hm? You think?
From Tony-- I can be on board with that. We gonna put a deadline on it? More than friends by midterms?
From Steve-- Midterms are still a while off.
From Tony-- well that leaves you lots of time to thoroughly woo me, doesn't it?
****************
From Steve -- Go to bed, honey
From Tony-- You don't know that I'm awake.
From Tony-- Dammit well now you do
From Steve -- Sleep, Tony. Seriously. You’ve been texting me all day and it's pushing one am. I know you’ve got to be tired.
From Tony-- You don't know anything, art man.
From Steve -- I know you well enough to know here in about fifteen minutes you're going to start getting delirious and saying odd things and calling me weird nickname. It happens every single time.
From Tony-- You are the least fun ever. I'll go to sleep
From Tony-- I hate my bed though. It's huge and lonely and cold.
From Steve-- Let's change that. Soon.
From Tony-- You gonna sell my king size bed and buy me a twin size instead? Sweet of you. Smart too, no wonder you’re a teacher. Always churning out those good ideas, huh?
From Steve-- Go to bed, Tony.
*****************
From Steve -- hey, how come I don't have a picture of you, honey? We've been at this for a while and all I know is that you have dark hair and dark eyes.
From Tony-- And a sparkling personality.
From Steve-- And a sparkling personality, yes. But why don't I have a picture?
From Tony-- Probably because I haven't sent one yet pudding pop.
From Steve -- please send me one. I'd like to see you on my screen when we talk
From Tony-- Actually I have a better idea, if you're up for it.
From Steve -- Let's hear it.
From Tony-- Well. It's Valentines Day in two days, you know? What do you say we meet up? I can head your way easy enough, if you're willing to drive a little bit, why don't we find some place in the middle and meet for dinner? Someplace neutral and easy and we can just... we can just see how it all goes?
From Steve -- Tony I love that idea. Please let's do that. I love that idea.
From Tony-- Yeah? Not too soon for this sort of thing? I realize Valentine's Day is sort of a big deal, maybe a weird one for a first official date, but it doesn't have to be weird. We can keep it low-key.
From Steve-- No, honey this is great. We've been talking about meeting you for weeks now. And we'd thought about going away from Valentine's Day so this is perfect. Bucky will be so excited, I'm going to text him right now and tell him.
From Tony-- Sorry what? Who the hell is Bucky? What do you mean he will be so excited? Steve what the hell?
From Tony-- No, no wait, you've mentioned him but like…. about running together. And working together. And grabbing dinner together. Not like, oh hey Bucky and I sleep together. What the HELL.
From Steve -- ...Bucky and I are dating, Tony. We've been together for almost four years. We both work at the university as well. I'm so so sorry, it didn't occur to me that you thought Bucky and I were just friends. I swear I thought I'd mentioned it before.
From Tony -- So you've had a boyfriend this entire time? This entire time? You and I have been flirting and talking and you...what? You only talk to me when he’s not around? You keep your phone locked so he can't read the texts? What the fuck is happening?
From Steve -- Tony, don't take this the wrong way. I promise it's not what you're thinking.
From Tony-- You have no idea what I'm thinking.
From Tony-- Jesus Christ
From Tony-- forget what I said about Valentines Day. Forget all of that. I don't want to see you anymore. Fuck off.
From Steve -- No honey wait. Don't be upset, I promise it's not what you think. I definitely should have mentioned this before, I know.
From Steve-- Damn it Tony I'm so sorry. Bucky has been reading our texts since day one, I guess I forgot that you didn't know about him. He thinks your funny and sweet and always wants in on our conversations.
From Steve -- Tony please
From Steve -- Tony please talk to me honey, come on
From Steve-- I swear it's not like we were playing you or anything. I meant everything I said about wanting to see you and about wanting to be more than friends.
From Steve-- Bucky and I really want to meet you, really want to spend some time with you-- it will be fine. I promise.
From Steve-- Bucky is just as gone on you as I am, babe. Just because it's just been you and me talking doesn't mean that he isn't right there, too.
From Steve-- This is my fault, Tony. Don't feel like you were played or anything like that. I swear, it just slipped my mind. Me and Bucky talk about you all the time, I guess I forgot that you didn't know about it. Or about all of him.
From Steve-- Tony.
From Steve-- TONY.
****************
From Steve -- Tony it's killing me not hearing from you. Please text me back
From Steve-- Honey. Say something to me. Anything. Answer your phone. I've called you like a dozen times, please just pick up and let me explain.
From Steve -- I get it, I screwed this up. Should have taken Bucky's advice and told you about him sooner but honestly I was afraid you'd stop talking right away because I wasn't single and I didn't want that to happen.
From Steve -- Damn it, sweetheart. I can't handle not hearing from you. Text me back or call me back and just scream at me, it's fine. But I know we can figure this out.
*******************
From Tony-- Lose my number.
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