Pages of sorrow | Kim Chaewon
pairing: Kim Chaewon x Reader
>wc: 1.4k
summary: Chaewon discovers Y/N's hidden feelings through a secret diary, realizing the depth of unspoken love only after Y/N's passing. The poignant tale unfolds with regret, heartache, and the profound impact of a love never shared.
Chaewon sat on her bed, crying softly as she held the worn leather diary in her hands. It had been a week since the funeral, a week since she lost her dear friend Y/N. While going through Y/N's things, this diary had fallen out from between the pages of an old book. Hesitantly, she opened the cover, hoping to find some answers as to why Y/N had seemed so sad in her last days.
The first entry was from years ago, recounting a chance meeting between the two girls in their freshman year of high school. Chaewon remembered it well - she had been sitting alone at lunch when Y/N shyly asked if the seat across from her was taken. They quickly bonded over their love for music and dreams of becoming idols one day. As Chaewon read Y/N's description of falling in love with her smile and energetic personality, she felt her heart twist in her chest. If only she had known back then how Y/N felt.
Flipping through the pages, Chaewon was transported back through their high school years. She saw their friendship grow closer through Y/N's loving words, but also noticed the pain and heartache between the lines as Y/N lamented keeping her true feelings secret, convinced Chaewon only saw her as a friend. An entry from their graduation dance made Chaewon break down into sobs. Y/N had mustered the courage to ask Chaewon to dance, but the other girl had been distracted, oblivious to Y/N's intentions as she danced with several guy friends instead.
College brought more hardship. Chaewon remembered Y/N growing distant their first year, busying herself with study groups and clubs in an attempt to move on. But the diary told a different story - of sleepless nights crying into her pillow, missing Chaewon's presence terribly in their shared dorm room. An especially painful entry was scrawled the night of Chaewon's first real date, the words smudged with tears.
As Chaewon continued to read, she came across happier times when their friendship had repaired itself. Movie marathons, late night walks around campus, studying together in the library - memories she now saw through Y/N's loving gaze. Small, intimate moments Chaewon had been oblivious to at the time but now realized held deep meaning for the secret lover who watched her from the sidelines, content to just be by her side however she could.
The final entry was dated only a week before Y/N's passing. She wrote of coming to terms with keeping her love private, finding peace in Chaewon's friendship even if it was all she could have. But one line stood out amongst the rest - "I think a part of me will always be in love with Chaewon, even when I'm gone."
A few more entries chronicled Y/N growing distant in their final year of college, right around the time Chaewon began dating her girlfriend at the time.
As Chaewon read Y/N's descriptions of seeing them together on campus, holding hands and sharing sweet kisses, her heart tightened. She had been so wrapped up in her new relationship that she never thought to tell Y/N, her supposed best friend, about any of it.
Y/N wrote of feeling betrayed, like their friendship meant nothing anymore with this secret kept. Each passing day spent watching Chaewon from afar with someone else chipped away a little more at her soul.
In bitter lines coated with tears, Y/N questioned why Chaewon never felt she could confide in her, why their bond didn't seem to matter when a new romance entered the picture. She withdrew into herself again, isolating in her dorm with only her diary as company, consumed by jealousy and the feeling of being replaced.
The entry ended with Y/N vowing to distance herself for good, to stop tormenting herself with a friendship that was no longer equal. Chaewon realized with horror that by keeping her relationship private, it was the final straw that sent Y/N spiraling into the depths of despair. Her oblivious actions had inadvertently pushed the girl she now knew she loved away during the darkest time. It was a mistake Chaewon would never forgive herself for.
As Chaewon turned to the second to last entry, her breath caught in her throat. Y/N wrote of feeling overwhelmed by her secret pain, the loneliness and heartache growing too much to bear after years of keeping it locked away.
With a sob, Chaewon read the line "I can't continue living like this, always wishing for something I'll never have. I hope that in death, I'll finally find the peace I've never known."
It was then that the reality hit Chaewon like a punch to the gut. Y/N's "passing", which she'd been told was due to illness, suddenly made sense in the brutal truth it concealed. Her friend had been suffering silently all this time, truly believing Chaewon would never love her back, and in a moment of despair had chosen to end her suffering the only way she saw possible.
The final lines echoed in Chaewon's mind, a last will and testament of Y/N's enduring affection: "I hope even after I'm gone, Chaewon will still continue to remember me, our friendship, and the love I could never confess. Please don't cry for me - I'll be watching over you, and loving you, from wherever I am."
All this time Y/N had kept her pain locked inside, refusing to burden Chaewon with her unrequited feelings even as they consumed her. And now it was too late for Chaewon to tell Y/N she felt the same, that together maybe they could have found the will to live another day.
Chaewon snapped the diary shut, shaking with emotion. All this time, Y/N had loved her so fully yet thought her feelings were unrequited. And Chaewon realized with crushing guilt that she had felt the same, had she only known to look past her assumptions. Now it was too late to tell Y/N she loved her too, and that thought would haunt Chaewon for the rest of her days. Clutching the diary to her chest, she wept for the love they never had the courage to share.
A month had passed since Chaewon read Y/N's final words in her diary. For weeks she remained shut in her room, overcome with grief and guilt for what she realized too late.
Today, she knew she could put it off no longer. Clasped in her shaking hands were a bouquet of Y/N's favorite flowers, lilies - delicate and beautiful, just like she was.
Stepping up to the simple grave marker, Chaewon sank to her knees. Tracing her fingers over Y/N's name etched in the stone, the tears came fast and heavy once more.
"I'm so sorry it took me this long," Chaewon choked out amongst her sobs. "I thought if I didn't come, maybe it wouldn't be real. But you're gone and it's all my fault."
With great care, she arranged the lilies atop the fresh dirt. As the petals swayed in the breeze, Chaewon was again transported to memories of Y/N's smile, her laugh, her kindness. The girl who loved her without condition, even unto death.
"We were too close to the stars, my love. I was blind not to see what was right in front of me." Chaewon clutched at her chest, heart aching. "I hope that wherever you are, you'll forgive me. And know that I love you, Y/N - I always have, and always will, for the rest of my days."
Bowing her head, Chaewon let the tears flow freely as she paid tribute to the love they never had but only now, too late, did she understand.
122 notes
·
View notes
Overview:
Born:
April 15, 1990 · Paris, France
Birth name:
Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson
Nickname:
Em
Height:
5′ 5″ (1.65 m)
Mini Bio:
Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson was born in Paris, France, to British parents, Jacqueline Luesby and Chris Watson, both lawyers. She moved to Oxfordshire when she was five, where she attended the Dragon School. From the age of six, Emma knew that she wanted to be an actress and, for a number of years, she trained at the Oxford branch of Stagecoach Theatre Arts, a part-time theatre school where she studied singing, dancing and acting. By the age of ten, she had performed and taken the lead in various Stagecoach productions and school plays.
In 1999, casting began for Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone (2001), the film adaptation of British author J.K. Rowling's bestselling novel. Casting agents found Emma through her Oxford theatre teacher. After eight consistent auditions, producer David Heyman told Emma and fellow applicants, Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint, that they had been cast for the roles of the three leads, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. The release of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) was Emma's cinematic screen debut. The film broke records for opening-day sales and opening-weekend takings and was the highest-grossing film of 2001. Critics praised the film and the performances of the three leading young actors. The highly distributed British newspaper, 'The Daily Telegraph', called her performance "admirable". Later, Emma was nominated for five awards for her performance in the film, winning the Young Artist Award for Leading Young Actress in a Feature Film.
After the release of the first film of the highly successful franchise, Emma became one of the most well-known actresses in the world. She continued to play the role of Hermione Granger for nearly ten years, in all of the following Harry Potter films: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010), and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011). Emma acquired two Critics' Choice Award nominations from the Broadcast Film Critics Association for her work in Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban and Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire. The completion of the seventh and eight movies saw Emma receive nominations in 2011 for a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award, and for Best Actress at the Jameson Empire Awards. The Harry Potter franchise won the BAFTA for Outstanding British Contribution to Cinema in February 2011.
2011 saw Emma in Simon Curtis's My Week with Marilyn (2011), alongside a stellar cast of Oscar nominees including Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe and Kenneth Branagh as Sir Laurence Olivier, in addition to Eddie Redmayne, Dame Judi Dench, Dougray Scott, Zoe Wanamaker, Toby Jones and Dominic Cooper. Chronicling a week in Marilyn Monroe's life, the film featured Emma in the supporting role of Lucy, a costume assistant to Colin Clark (Redmayne). The film was released by The Weinstein Company and was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical. In 2012 Emma was seen in Stephen Chbosky's adaptation of his coming-of-age novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012), starring opposite Logan Lerman and Ezra Miller. This independent drama centered around Charlie (Lerman), an introverted freshman who is taken under the wings of two seniors (Watson and Miller) who welcome him to the real world. The film premiered at the 2012 Toronto International Film Festival and received rave reviews. The film won the People's Choice Award for Favourite Dramatic Movie and Emma also picked up the People's Choice Award for Favourite Dramatic Movie Actress. Emma was awarded a second time for this role with the Best Supporting Actress Award at the San Diego Film Critics Society Awards where the film also won the Best Ensemble Performance Award.
In summer 2013, Emma starred in Sofia Coppola's American satirical black comedy crime film, The Bling Ring (2013), opposite Katie Chang and Israel Broussard. The film took inspiration from real events and followed a group of teenagers who, obsessed with fashion and fame, burgled the homes of celebrities in Los Angeles. The film opened the Un Certain Regard section of the 2013 Cannes Film Festival. Emma also appeared in a cameo role as herself in Seth Rogen's apocalypse comedy This Is The End (2013). The film tells the story about what happens to some of Hollywood's best loved celebrities when the apocalypse strikes during a party at James Franco's house.
2014, Emma was seen in Darren Aronofsky's Noah (2014), opposite Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Douglas Booth, Logan Lerman, and Anthony Hopkins. The film told the epic, biblical tale of Noah and the ark. Emma plays the role of Ila, a young woman who develops a close relationship with Noah's son, Shem (Booth). Noah made an outstanding $300m since its release in March. In 2015, Emma starred in Regression (2015), written and directed by Alejandro Amenábar. Also headlined by Oscar-nominated Ethan Hawke, and set in Minnesota in 1990, Regression tells the story of Detective Bruce Kenner (Hawke), who investigates the case of young Angela, played by Emma, who accuses her father of sexual abuse.
In 2012, Emma was honored with the Calvin Klein Emerging Star Award at the ELLE Women in Hollywood Awards. In 2013, Emma was awarded the Trailblazer Award at the MTV Movie Awards in April and was honored with the GQ Woman of the Year Award at the GQ Awards in September. Further to her acting career, Emma is a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN, promoting gender equality and the empowerment of women. Emma graduated from Brown University in May 2014.
2017, Emma starred in the live-action Disney fantasy Beauty and the Beast (2017), one of the biggest movies of all time in the U.S., and the dramatic thriller The Circle (2017).
Family:
Jacqueline Luesby(Parent)
Chris Watson(Parent)
Relatives:
Freda Emma Watson (Duerre)(Grandparent)
Toby Watson(Half Sibling)
Lucy Watson(Half Sibling)
Nina Watson(Half Sibling)
Alex Watson(Sibling)
Trivia:
Has kept a painstakingly detailed log of her everyday life since her film career took off, as many as 30 journals in total.
Favorite Harry Potter book is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Best friends with Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint after practically growing up with them on the Harry Potter set. She calls them her 'brothers'.
Was offered the titled lead in Cinderella (2015) but turned it down.
At the age of fifteen became the youngest person to appear on the cover of Teen Vogue magazine.
Paris at the time of Emma's birth. Emma lived in France until the age of five, when her family returned to the United Kingdom.
Was named the 'Highest Grossing Actress of the Decade' by the Guiness Book of World Records. Her film work in the past decade has grossed over 5.4 billion dollars worldwide (2009).
She achieved eight A* and two A passes in her GCSEs (exams British school pupils take in their last compulsory year of secondary school).
Prefers to sign autographs for fans rather than taking pictures with them.
Auditioned eight times (at age 9) for the role of Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, playing opposite five prospective sets of Harry's before landing the part.
Was offered the role of Mia in La La Land (2016) but turned it down to play Belle in Disney's live-action Beauty and the Beast (2017). The role then went to Emma Stone, who won an Academy award for her performance. Ironically, she replaced Stone for the role of Meg March in Greta Gerwig's Little Women (2019) after Stone was unable to take the part due to her scheduling conflicts in promoting The Favourite (2018).
Both of her parents are lawyers.
Emma's favorite movies include Notting Hill (1999), Love Actually (2003), Bridget Jones's Diary (2001), Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994), About Time (2013), Giant (1956), Breathless (2008), Amélie (2001), Pan's Labyrinth (2006), The Fountain (2006), The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Gladiator (2000), Braveheart (1995), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), Philomena (2013), Blue Jasmine (2013), Rush (2013), 12 Years a Slave (2013), The Great Beauty (2013), The Woodmans (2010), Closer (2004), Pretty Woman (1990), Chicago (2002), Romeo + Juliet (1996), Moulin Rouge! (2001), Dirty Dancing (1987), Grease (1978), Shrek (2001), Ice Age (2002), and Finding Nemo (2003). school and local teams), skiing, painting, cooking, singing, and dancing (has twice competed with her school in Rock Challenge 2006 and 2007).
Entering Brown University, Rhode Island, U.S.A. after completion of the Harry Potter Movies (July 21, 2009).to study literature.
Emma's favorite actors are Johnny Depp and Russell Crowe.
Her parents divorced in 1995; each parent has since remarried. On her father's side, she has a younger half-brother, Toby, born 2003, and half-sisters (identical twins) Lucy and Nina, born in 2004. Lucy and Nina played the younger version of her character Pauline in Ballet Shoes (2007). She also has two stepbrothers through her mother's remarriage.
Has said that she'd like to work with directors Alfonso Cuarón and Guillermo del Toro.
Is a certified yoga and meditation instructor.
Is a fan of The Golden Compass (2007) and the rest of the fantasy trilogy 'His Dark Materials' by Philip Pullman.
Emma's favorite actresses are Julia Roberts, Renée Zellweger, Sandra Bullock, Rebel Wilson, Goldie Hawn, Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Natalie Portman and Meryl Streep.
Is the former roommate and current best friend of America's Next Top Model (2003) Cycle 18 winner, Sophie Sumner.
Attended The Dragon School, a renowned preparatory school in Oxford, between September 1995 and July 2001. She then went on to attend Headington School, a private all-girls school, between September 2001 and July 2006.
She enrolled in a Shakespeare course at The Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts during the summer of 2008.
May 25, 2014) Graduated from Brown University with a bachelor's degree in English literature.
Emma's favorite television shows include Friends (1994), Sex and the City (1998), Girls (2012), Gossip Girl (2007), America's Next Top Model (2003), Mad Men (2007), House of Cards (2013), Pride and Prejudice (1995) and The Crown (2016).
Has two cats, one is named Bubbles and the other is named Domino.
Emma Watson has stated that, since her audition at age 9 through the completion of 8 Harry Potter features by age 22, the hectic, educational experience consumed over half her life.
She was named after her paternal grandmother, born Freda Emma Duerre who, after marriage, became Freda Emma Duerre Watson.
Was in a relationship with Will Adamowicz from 2012-2013. The couple met while studying at Oxford University in 2011.
Took AS levels in English, Geography, Art, and History of Art in May 2007, and has now dropped History of Art to pursue the three A levels.
When she made a promotional appearance on a Dutch TV talk show for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007), the interview ended with her joining the Dutch illusion act Magic Unlimited, who sawed her in half.
Has the same birthday as her Beauty and the Beast co-stars: Luke Evans and her Harry Potter collaborator Emma Thompson.
Is taking legal action after private photos of her trying on various outfits were stolen and posted online.
Was ranked #3 on Empire Magazine's '100 Sexiest Movie Stars' list.
She and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint were named #9 on Entertainment Weekly's Best Entertainers of the Year in 2005.
Ranked as having one of the most beautiful famous faces by "The Annual Independent Critics List of the 100 Most Beautiful Famous Faces From Around the World." She was ranked #2 in 2010, #12 in 2009, #27 in 2008, #30 in 2007, and #54 in 2006.
In 2008, BoyDestiny wrote and sang the song "You Got Me Going", also known as The Emma Watson Song.
Sixth highest paid actress of 2017 with $14 million.
Passed her driving test in the U.S. in 2008 and drives a Toyota Prius.
Was named the face of the 2009 Fall/Winter Burberry Campaign.
Radio One's movie critic James King named "Ron Weasley" and "Hermione Granger", played by Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, as number 4 in his Top 5 Movie Couples list on The Colin and Edith Show (2006).
Emma's style icons include Jean Seberg, Mia Farrow, Kate Bosworth, Diane Kruger, Jane Birkin, Edie Sedgwick, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Lauren Bacall, Sofia Coppola, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Françoise Hardy, Charlotte Rampling and Michelle Obama.
She served on a jury to select the 2004 teen-aged film-makers' First Light Film Awards. The ceremony was held in London's Leicester Square. Other jurors included Pierce Brosnan, Kenneth Branagh, and Samantha Morton.
In 2007, Forbes Magazine estimated her earnings for the year at $4 million.
Has worked closely with the organic and fair trade pioneer People Tree.
Announced that she would be collaborating with People Tree, a Fair Trade Fashion Company, as a creative advisor for the new Spring/Summer collection.
Emma's favorite filmmakers are Richard Curtis, Alfonso Cuarón, Guillermo del Toro, Sofia Coppola, Darren Aronofsky, Danny Boyle, David Fincher, Lynne Ramsay, Ang Lee, and Tom Hooper.
Emma Watson has combined/hyperactive type ADHD, for which she has been medicated ever since she was 5.
Has spoken in the United Nations Organization in favour of Women's Rights, including abortion.
Was ranked #8 in Portrait Magazine's 'Top 30 Under 30' (2009). 'Harry Potter' cast mates Evanna Lynch, Rupert Grint, Bonnie Wright, Tom Felton and Daniel Radcliffe also made the list on the 3rd, 5th, 7th, 14th and 18th place respectively.
Was ranked #15 on Forbes List of The 20 Top-Earning Young Superstars.
Ranked #4 by Portrait Magazine for favorite celebrities by fans' vote. Her Harry Potter co-star Bonnie Wright Had also Ranked #5.
Includes Justin Timberlake and Alanis Morissette among her favorite singers.
She was the front-runner for the role of Yelena Belova in Black Widow (2021), but it was given to Florence Pugh.
Was ranked #3 on Moviefone's '25 Hottest Actors Under 25'.
(April 24, 2011) Her publicist, Vanessa Davies, said that Emma will transfer from Brown University to another school in the Fall of 2011.
Was ranked #3 on 'Yahoo! List of the 10 Most Popular Stars of 2007'.
Was ranked #69 on Maxim magazine's Hot 100 women of 2011 list.
Once accidentally mistook Jimmy Fallon for Jimmy Kimmel.
Was born at 6:00pm (GMT + 1 hour) on a Sunday.
Voted #17 on Ask Men's top 99 'most desirable' women of 2012.
Ranked #94 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2008 list.
Was Entertainment Weekly's "Entertainer of the Month" for the month of July (2009).
She was ranked #8 on Portrait Magazine's 'Top 30 Under 30' list.
Ranked #29 on Askmen's list of the Top 99 Most Desirable women for 2013.
She was ranked #3 on Teen Vogue's list of the Best Dressed celebrities of 2009.
Ranked #15 in the 2011 FHM Australia of "100 Sexiest Women".
Was ranked #97 on Forbes List of The Celebrity 100.
Ranked #23 in the 2011 FHM list of "100 Sexiest Women in the World".
She was ranked #6 on MSN's list of 'Best Dressed Stars of 2009'.
Was ranked #28 on Entertainment Weekly's '30 Under 30' the actress list.
Ranked #29 in the 2010 FHM UK list of "100 Sexiest Women in the World".
Was ranked #26 on Empire Magazine's '100 Sexiest Movie Stars' (2007).
Named #1 on 'Sexiest Movie Stars" Poll on Empire Magazine voted by over 50 000 people around the world.
She was considered to voice Coraline Jones in "Coraline", which later went to Dakota Fanning.
Salaries
Beauty and the Beast (2017) - $15,000,000
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) - $15,000,000
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) - $15,000,000
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) - $4,000,000
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $125,000
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - $125,000
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) - $125,000
35 notes
·
View notes