#the tortured man club lol

[taylorswift-yyyyy]

Joe Alwyn, THE Heirloom Turkey, going to the press after spending six years embarrassed to talk about dating Taylor Swift is certainly a choice. He never commented on The King of My Heart's but is now upset that she may be writing about her negative experiences in the relationship. Okay bro lol and let's not pretend she didn't give you writing credits to help boost vour career when those songs were mostly written by her and Aaron Dessner but okay. Lol.

You can't be that pretentious without having a good set of work behind you. It's giving Cole Sprouse, Joe.

#taylor swift #taylornation #joe alwyn #heirloom turkey #taylurking #the tortured man club lol #Manifest lol #the tortured poets department #Swiftie

[stardustdreams-andcaffeine]

In the Blink of an Eye | Bucky Barnes (Mafia AU)

mafia!bucky barnes x f!reader ✧ oneshot

Summary: With Bucky Barnes, the mafia lord of New York, as your boyfriend, you're usually safe from any and all harm. With a date night gone wrong and your boyfriend distracted, though, anything can happen in the blink of an eye.

A/N: Another one of my favorites because come on, who doesn't love mob Bucky? If you couldn't tell by now, angst is my thing lol, but I'm working on some fluffier oneshots! True to my word, this one's a reader insert for all you lovelies, enjoy and as always keep dreaming 🤍

Warnings: mafia!Bucky, violence, angst, kidnapping, drugging, language, mentions of torture, fluffy ending because I just can't help myself.

Word Count: 5,896

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I knew the dangers when I started. I knew the risks. I welcomed them, I embraced them. They did not scare me and they haven't even now, so many months later.

We always seem to think we know ourselves so well, that we know what we'd do in every situation. I thought I knew.

Then I fell in love.

When you're in love, well, everything changes. For the first time, there's another person that you cannot live without. For the first time, you begin to realize just how far you'd go to keep that love, to strengthen it. I used to avoid love, used to think it was worthless.

Then I met Bucky Barnes, Wolf of the North and mafia lord of New York, and I fell harder than I ever have before.

I love him more than anything else in my life, and so I took on the risks willingly. When you love someone that deeply, that ardently, nothing is a risk. Besides, I knew that he would do everything in his power to protect me. Bucky would never let anything bad happen to me.

That's where I went wrong. Not in overestimating him, but underrating what can happen in the blink of an eye.

"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"

He acts as though he's heard me, but his eyes are glued to the phone in his hand as we weave through the crowds in the New York night. He never usually ignores me like this, and even though I'm growing annoyed, I'm hurt by his lack of attention too.

"We'll be fine, even if he is he wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything" Bucky brushes off, not even looking up from his phone. I let out a small huff as we approach the front of the bar and nightclub he owns.

Before we make it to the doors, I grab his well-muscled arm and gently tug him to face me. He looks up now, his usually softened ice blue eyes plagued with business and stress.

"I thought tonight was just for us, my love" I remind. Something softens in his gaze but he ices it down and doesn't as much as touch me.

"It is, but I have some business to attend to first" his gravelly voice replies.

"Business?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow and smiling softly at him, "You can get business any night, but I-"

"Just give me ten minutes, Y/N." my boyfriend interrupts, and if it were any other day I'd say something back. Too exhausted from work to want an argument, though, I simply sigh and decide to show him patience.

"Alright, you have 10 minutes."

We walk inside, but before we do I cast one more glance back towards the man who I saw following us. My heart hits the floor when my eyes connect directly with his across the street. His mousy brown hair and disheveled brown leather jacket and white shirt set me on edge, so I quickly turn around and follow Bucky into his club.

As soon as I'm back by his side, he presses a gentle but burning hand to my back, his touch, however small, still intoxicating me after all this time. Normally, he'd lean over and whisper sweet nothings or promises of love in my ear and I'd shiver at the whisper of his voice so near, but now he barely even touches me. His mind is so preoccupied with work, I know that, but it has been all week since this weekend is his rival's gala.

But I feel ignored and unappreciated and it's killing me.

The pounding music of the club wraps around me, making it harder to keep my thoughts straight. Bucky and I walk straight to the back of the club, where his business no doubt waits. He pulls away from me without so much as a goodbye, and my heart tugs. Quickly I grab his hand, making him glance at me.

"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out," I repeat, and I know he said I'll be fine but I need him to be here with me, "Please, stay with me."

"Doll, you're gonna be fine. Now-"

I cut him off, getting frustrated.

"No Bucky! I can fight, sure, but if he-" I interrupt, only for him to cut me right back off.

"Drop it, Y/N. Just go to the bar or something" Bucky growls, pulling out of my grip and walking into the office without a single glance back at me.

My heart cracks.

He's never like this, ever. He's usually so protective it's overbearing, and yet the one time I need that to feel secure, he refuses. I can take care of myself, but I'm not stupid. And no matter how capable and independent I may be, Bucky brings a level of safety to me that I can't describe.

And yet here he is, leaving me alone in his bar with someone following us.

I huff out a sigh and try not to look too forlorn as I traipse over to the bar. Almost as soon as I've arrived and sat at an open bar stool, the bartender who has become somewhat of a friend over the last few months approaches me.

"And how is my favorite customer?" He asks, his hands busy preparing a drink. I shrug, offering him a soft smile.

"I'm alright, Lee," I respond, playing with the edge of my sleeve, "Just a whiskey please."

"Sure thing, Y/N," Lee says, his brows furrowed as he steps away to make my drink. When the glass slides in front of me, I grab onto it with tired fingers.

"So, do you want me to ask what's really going on or do you want me to believe the lie?" The bartender asks, making me raise my gaze from the amber liquid and to my friend's face. He must see the tears gathering in my eyes because a hint of concern grows. I never break like this.

"Believe the lie, please" I nearly whisper, desperate to not have this conversation right now. Lee stares at me for a second longer before nodding.

"Let me know if you need anything else."

When he walks away to take care of another customer, I'm left feeling alone and forgotten in my boyfriend's bar. I sip on the alcohol and seconds turn to minutes, and ten minutes soon becomes twenty. I feel patience slipping and am seconds away from barging into that room and giving my boyfriend a piece of my mind when another voice pipes up beside me.

"I thought tonight was date night," The voice says, and I can't put a face to it. When I turn, the haze of alcohol clears instantly and my spine snaps straight. The music dulls into a hum. The lights grow darker. The color leeches from my body. My hand trembles around the almost empty glass.

It's him. He's got the same messy hair, the same brown jacket. The same hungry eyes.

Instantly, I clamp down hard on my rising panic. I refuse to fall into hysterics of any kind right now. This is the safest place for me to be right now, so I should have nothing to worry about. Instead, I simply shake my head and turn forward, downing the last of my second whiskey.

"You're another kind of stupid if you think anything is going to happen to me in here," I inform, my tone even and calm despite the throbbing, tearing panic within me that makes me want to sprint for Bucky.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to do anything," the man responds, his tone just as even as mine.

I furrow my brows at the ease of his response, but all at once it hits me. My head begins to spin and with each second that passes, my mind begins to fog. No. No. No.

He drugged me.

How did he get it into my drink?

How did I not see it? Smell it? Taste it?

I shove out of my chair so fast that the stool screeches against the hard floor. The sound is absorbed into the mass of the club, though, and an arm snakes around my waist.

"No," I manage out, but the connection between my body and brain seems to be almost severed. The words come out sluggish and far away and when I try to pull from the stalker's hold, my body barely moves.

Instead, I'm left stumbling like I'm drunk with this man guiding me towards the exit as if he's helping me to a cab. The bouncers. Ed and Damien, they won't let him take me. They'll stop him, they'll get him away from me.

"Don't make a scene, Y/N. Your boyfriend isn't even out of his office." My kidnapper's voice slithers into my ear, making my stomach church with nausea.

My boyfriend. Bucky. Oh God, where is Bucky? Why can't I seem to remember where Bucky went? Why he's not here? Why I was alone?

"Bucky, Bucky's gonna-" I slur out, sounding absolutely wasted to the unknowing ear.

"I know, Mr. Barnes going to be so glad I got you home safely," he says suddenly, his entire body shifting tone. I furrow my brows and manage to look and see us just passing Ed and Damien at the door. Even though I can really see straight, I see the two bouncers block the exit when they see me.

"Hey man, what's going on?" I hear Ed ask.

"Nothing much to see, Boss just wanted me to take his lady home," the stalker says, his grip on me tighter than it must appear, "She had a little too much to drink."

Too much to drink? Did I? Why can't I remember what's happening? I didn't think I did but...but maybe I did. Who is this man? He said he's taking me home, maybe Bucky had to cancel date night. It was date night, right?

Both Ed and Damien furrow their brows and look to me, immediate concern drawing on their features when they see the state of me. Some lucid part of me screams to alert them of something, anything, but the thought doesn't come to fruition. It dies somewhere along a neuron and leaves me tripping over my own feet and speechless.

"I've never seen you before, man. How do we know that boss told you to take her home?" Damien asks. My escort doesn't miss a step.

"The Wolf is in states nowadays, isn't he boys?" The stalker replies, and that lucid part sparks up again in protest at the familiar words. That's the code phrase to ensure safety in moments like this.

He knows the code phrase.

They're going to let him take me.

I do what I can to struggle as Ed and Damien step aside, but it only comes across as trying to walk on my own, because the bouncers chuckle slightly.

"Relax Y/N, don't overdo it" Ed quips.

"Rest up, miss. I'll let boss know you got home safely." Damien follows up.

And the lucid part of me fades into the drug haze as my kidnapper guides me out of the safest place on earth without so much of a gun fight. The cool night air slaps me in the face and I whisper, trying to struggle again only to forget why I'm struggling in the first place. My body feels like I'm running through neck-high mud, anyways. Any sharp movements I try to make end in my hands barely moving.

"Bucky," I breathe, an urgency in that word. Beyond the haze and the forgetfulness and the confusion, there's a deep and piercing need to scream out that name. I can't figure out why, but I need him. I can't...I need...

My head's spinning, or maybe it's the world. My stomach is twisting and turning and twisting and turning and tw-

"He can't save you now. He didn't even put up a fight to protect you," that ugly, slimy voice says as a car door opens, "What a shame. A treasure like you should be guarded. But I guess finder's keeper's."

Then I'm shoved into a car and everything goes black.

||| James Buchanan Barnes

Y/N's going to actually kill me. As in my liver on a plate kill me.

The meeting that I promised would only be ten minutes has now gone for forty, and by now she's probably restless, hungry, and a little tipsy.

Great, and I pissed her off earlier so tonight is going to be so much fun.

I pull a hand through my dark hair with a slight groan as the man I was doing business with finally leaves my office. I sit for a second in the semi-quiet of my room, the pounding of music and laughter dulled by the walls. I know I shouldn't have gotten short with her earlier, but damn she wouldn't let up on me with the whole "stalker" thing.

My club is the safest place for her. I would never let anything happen to her, so for her to even think that...I sigh again, shoving it from my mind. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is finding my girlfriend and making all of this shit up to her. I rise from my leather chair and walk out of my office, the dulled sounds roaring into full force.

My eyes immediately shoot towards the bar to find my girl only to see an absence of her. With furrowed brows, I sweep my gaze towards the dance floor. Even crowded with people, I don't see her. I roll my eyes instantly, knowing what probably happened. She probably went home, probably's pissed as hell at me. I brush off my suit jacket and walk up to Lee at the bar, immediately garnering his attention. He smiles at me.

"Hey boss, can I get you anything?" He asks.

"No I'm good, thanks Lee," I respond, leaning on the bar with one arm and pinching the bridge of my nose, "Have you seen Y/N? I think I pissed her off."

There's a pause that makes me look over at my bartender. He's looking at me weirdly as he slides a drink to a customer and laughs slightly.

"Real funny, boss," Lee says, cleaning out a few glasses. I straighten up slightly, my brows furrowing deeper and my jaw setting.

"What's so funny, Lee? Have you seen her or not?" I ask, quickly losing my patience. I always thought he had a thing for her, always was too-

"Are you fucking with me right now?" Lee asks genuinely, cutting off my thoughts. When I don't respond, he realizes I'm not joking and his face goes grave, "So you didn't send her home twenty minutes ago?"

The world tilts around me and every ounce of anger, annoyance, and frustration leaves me in an instant. My heart drops like an anchor at sea and I don't dare to believe what Lee's words mean.

"She left twenty minutes ago," I begin slowly, trying desperately to hold myself together and not jump to a conclusion, "With someone who said I sent them to take her home."

Lee's face is slowly falling as he realizes the situation at hand. I feel so sick to my stomach that I can barely stand when Lee gives a faint nod. My world stops and then starts and then stops again.

"I never gave that order." I breathe.

"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"

I brushed her off.

"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out. Please, stay with me."

I ignored her. I snapped at her. I prioritized work over the light of my life. I told her she'd be fine.

I left her.

Lee is saying something to me but I don't hear it as I shove away and storm over to Ed and Damien, my bouncers. My face is a painting of fury and shame and worry and panic and it's a storm that catches Ed and Damien's attention. They stop what they're doing and look to me, their brows furrowing.

"Boss, what's-"

"You let her leave?" I strangle out, my heart slamming in my chest and my fists balled by my sides, "You let a stranger take her away?"

The two share a confused glance before looking back to me.

"A stranger? Boss, the man who took Y/N home knew the code," Ed informs.

"Did you not send him?" Damien suddenly asks, his face tightening in instant panic.

He knew the code. He knew the code and he somehow got my doll, my fighter, out without so much of a warning.

And it's all my fault.

"Shut the club down, get everyone out. Call together all of our forces. Tell them-" My voice breaks, raw emotion clawing up my throat, "Tell them Y/N's been taken."

I don't wait for a response and shove out into the cold night, gasping for air like a fish out of water. I was so obsessed with the gala this week that Hydra, our arch nemesis, was putting on, that I stopped paying attention to the only part of my life that matters. I have a lot of things, all of which I could live without, but I cannot live without her.

And I left her.

I left her and now she's gone.

She tried to warn me, she tried to tell me someone was following us. She tried to get me to stay with her, to not leave her. And yet I walked away. I just walked away like she didn't even matter and I left vulnerable and alone the only person in this entire fucking universe I love. It's all my fault, and I'll spend every second of the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.

If I can even find her in time, before she-

No. I will find her and she will live. I will burn down this whole damn world if I have to, and I will not stop. Not until every person who laid a finger on my girl is dead. I will paint the world crimson with their blood until I find her, and once I do I will never, never, ignore or leave her again.

That's not a threat. It's a promise.

||| Your POV

The collar secured to my throat is too tight, the metal no doubt leaving red grooves in my skin.

It hurts worse when Alexander Pierce, the mafia lord of Hydra, tugs the matching chain leash attached to it, pulling me closer to him and almost making me stumble mid-step.

The gala is glamorous, and my gown is nothing short of it as well. Pierce even went through the trouble of having someone do my hair. What he didn't do was my makeup.

That way anyone could see the dried blood and bruises littering my skin.

It's a scare tactic, I know that. A way to signal to everyone here that he's in charge and that he can't be defied. But I think he's got a bigger reason in mind for it all, the collar and the hideous marks on my skin.

And that reason is my boyfriend.

I can practically feel people's eyes follow me as I walk as steadily as I can at the end of Pierce's leash. Despite the radiating, excruciating pain that each step incurs, I keep my body steady and my chin high. I let the policemen and officials that are on his payroll and all of the members of his mafia see my bruises and cuts. He's parading me, so I'm going to put on a damn show.

A show to hide how mind-numbingly terrified I am right now.

Behind my set jaw and my cold eyes, I'm fighting back tears. The pain is mixing with the fear of the last few days to make a perfect storm within me. I'm terrified that any moment could be my last, that more pain could await me, that Bucky might never come for me

Or worse. That he doesn't even care.

Regardless of whether or not he cares, I'm still not going to give a single detail out. Even when Pierce himself tortured me until all I knew was blood and pain and fear, I said nothing. He didn't get a single word out of me. I just sat there, strapped to an iron chair, and took it. Every blow, every slice, every shout. At times my mind spared me and allowed me to slip into the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness, but it wouldn't be long after that I awoke to my head shoved into cold water to revive me.

And here I am, now taking a seat at the Dias of his gala room beside the mafia lord of Hydra, my boyfriend's sworn rival, with a collar around my neck tied to his wrist.

The music that wafts from the live orchestra is disturbingly jovial and light, filling the air with a sense of peace that provides such a stark juxtaposition to my insides that I almost puke. I sit ever so stiffly in my chair beside Pierce, my back burning with each movement because of the new stripes across its tender flesh.

As I feel warm liquid slide down my skin, I suddenly understand why Pierce insisted my dress be a dark maroon. I thought it was as at first just a beacon to everyone to show who I was with because it was his signature color, but I know better now. It's to hide the blood that seeps from my still-healing and probably infected wounds.

"Exquisite, isn't it?" Pierce asks, and I don't even have to turn towards him to know he wears a devilish smirk. A cruel man's trademark of victory.

I stay silent.

I hear him click his tongue as he sits back in his ornate chair, "All this quality time together and all I've heard from your voice has been your screams. No matter how pretty they are, doesn't seem polite to me."

This time, I can't hold myself back.

"Neither is kidnapping another human being and treating them like a prisoner of war," I announce, my voice raw and hoarse from the screaming and shouting of the past few days, "So pardon me if I'm not feeling too polite."

It's a bold move, but I make it anyways, gambling that he wouldn't lash out in the midst of his party. A little breath of relief escapes me when he chuckles.

"And here I was under the impression you were a sweet, soft-spoken sort of woman. My sources misjudged you." Pierce responds.

Of course he's been watching me. A scheme like this doesn't happen overnight. He's been planning this for a while, now. Pierce knew exactly when Bucky would be most vulnerable, when the defenses would be the loosest. It makes me want to scream.

"You're going to die for this," I whisper, quietly but not softly. There's his laugh again.

"Oh honey," Pierce starts, his voice condescending as if I were a toddler, "Careful with blind faith. What makes you so sure Barnes will make it out of this alive?"

His words unsettle something so deep within me that if I spend more than a few seconds touching on it, I'll shatter. Instead, I turn to look at Alexander Pierce for the first time since we've sat down. My eyes are cold and harsh upon him and the shining metal of the collar that tethers us.

"What makes you so sure it will be Bucky who kills you?"

He has the good sense to look the slightest bit unnerved, and I give him a smirk of my own, "Like you said before, your men sorely misjudged me."

Before he can respond, one of the guards that stands behind us steps forward and whispers something in the mafia lord's ear. Whatever he says makes Pierce grin fiercely as he looks back to me and gives the collar a tug.

"Your White Wolf is here."

My heart jumps so hard that I forget how to function. For a moment, everything else fades and dims away, even the biting pain wrapping me like a blanket of thorns. I snap my head back forward and when I see him I swear I almost break right then and there.

Because his eyes are already on me, and they're coated with fury.

It takes every ounce of strength I have to not dissolve into tears, to not let my fear show.

He's here.

He's here.

Bucky found me.

When our eyes meet, something so primal and raw ignites in his features. He looks seconds away from shattering as his chest heaves, his eyes scouring every inch of me. I feel undone before him, as if the dress doesn't hide a single thing that Pierce and his men have done to me.

"James Barnes," Pierce announces, snapping the connection between us swiftly, "I thought you'd never come. I hope you don't mind, I think I've stolen your date for the evening."

Then he wraps his palm around the chain leash and yanks it so hard that I nearly tumble out of the chair. His hand is there to stop me as it grabs my jaw in a bruising grip. Pierce hums, turning my face side to side before forcing it forward to the crowd that now watches. Bucky is painted with dark rage and looks seconds away from ending Pierce's life.

"She makes quite the pretty pet."

Bucky begins to storm forward only for two of the guests who belong to Pierce's mafia to grip onto his arms and prevent him.

"Take your fucking hand off of her, Pierce, or I swear I'll-" Bucky growls, and hearing his voice is enough to ease some of the knot that's wound in my chest these last few days.

"You'll what?" Alexander asks, releasing my chin but remaining ever so calmly in his seat beside me, "You must not care that much for my pet, after all you were the one to ignore her."

There's a bone-crushing silence and I see that same something shatter in my love's gaze.

"You shoved her off, you left her alone," Alexander cuts out, reaching out and running a hand through my hair, "You so carelessly let her slip through your fingers and here you are pretending to care."

"What I did was unforgivable, I know that," Bucky says suddenly, and I see even from here the silver lining his eyes as he speaks, "But she is a good person. She doesn't deserve this. If you need to punish someone, don't let it be her."

"You don't deserve her," Pierce says, and I want to scream that he's wrong but Bucky cuts me off. His eyes clash with mine and I fall in love all over again.

"I know," he says so softly that I almost miss it. I try to shake my head 'no', but Pierce tightens the collar, making me whimper.

Bucky shoves off the two men holding him, composing himself and standing stiffly a good ways before us.

"Let her go, Pierce," Bucky reiterates, his tone harsh once more and his stare pure murder, "I won't ask again."

Pierce clicks his tongue beside me, letting up on my leash to let me relax slightly.

"Oh Barnes, did you really waltz in here thinking you'd walk back out?"

There's a deadly silence and I swear you can hear my heart smash into the floor even though I expected this. With every second between his last words and his next, I grow more panicked.

"I have you surrounded, Barnes. You're not getting out of this," Pierce announces. Bucky doesn't look the least bit unnerved, though.

Pierce reaches you to an ear piece I didn't know was there and touches it, "Guns at attention."

From my spot next to him, all I hear is static. There's no response coming back, and the confusion becomes evident on Alexander's face at the same moment I realize what's going on. Hope like a new sunrise breaks in me and I look over at Bucky to find him smirking. He winks at me once before furrowing his brows at Pierce.

"What's wrong, can't reach your men?" Bucky taunts.

And then all Hell breaks loose.

Guns are firing and people are screaming and within seconds, Bucky's mafia that's already infiltrated the gala hall appears from the woodwork, their guns raised and keeping the few mafia members left under gun point. Bucky just stands coolly in the midst as another deadly silence blankets the room. I can practically feel the rage draining off of Alexander.

"Get him!" Pierce suddenly shouts, and what few men are left charge at Bucky. Including the personal guards around us. The gunfire begins again, and the classy event is soon painted crimson.

I take the brief moment of chaos to my advantage and shoot up from my seat. As soon as Pierce registers that I'm moving, it's too late. Despite the screaming of my body, I sprint behind Pierce's chair and brace one heeled foot at its back. Then, before he can reach for a gun, I wrap the leash he's collared me with around his neck and pull back, strangling him with the own device he subjected me under.

His hands claw desperately at the chain and I feel my exhausted muscles trembling, but I refuse to let up. I keep holding the chain tighter and snap my gaze up in Bucky's direction just in time to see him shoot a guard between the eyes.

"Bucky!" I shout, gaining his attention instantly.

I know I can't hold Pierce off much longer, so Bucky will need to help me take him down while I've got him strangled to the chair. The metal is cutting deep into his skin when Bucky begins fighting desperately to reach us. Before he can, though, Pierce gets a purchase on the chain and yanks with such force that it sends my body flying over him and the chair. I land flat on my back so hard on the tile that the air rushes out of my lungs and every cut and tear rips open.

"Y/N!" Bucky roars, and it rattles my very bones

I gasp and groan in pain simultaneously, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. The second I can breathe again, Pierce is dragging me backwards by the chain.

"No!" I shout, reaching up and gripping the chain before yanking it.

We tug back and forth as he drags me, but I manage to hook my foot around one of the overturned chairs and use the leverage to yank the chain so hard that I hear a snap followed by a shrill yell.

I just broke his wrist.

When I pull again, the chain comes free and a weight lifts from my shoulders. I scramble to my feet, about to sprint away and towards where I last saw Bucky when Pierce's hands grip my shoulders and rip me back. I don't even have time to scream when my back is slammed into a hard wall and Pierce is before me, a knife in his unmangled hand that's pressed to my cheek.

"You little bitch" he seethes.

My chest is heaving with breath and panic as I read back and spit in his face as hard as I can. He recoils slightly and I relish in it. My happiness only lasts a second, though, because his knife is pressing into my cheek. I try to squirm but his body is pressed firmly to mine and pins me to the wall.

"I so didn't want to end you this quickly," Pierce whispers, his voice slithering against my skin.

I keep trying to be strong, to be so strong, but it's getting harder to keep up. I try to not show my fear, but it's getting harder and harder to hide. I feel myself finally breaking after the hell that these last few days have been and just when I think he's going to end it all, he's gone. In a moment, he's off of me and unconscious on the ground.

And Bucky is standing before me, his chest heaving and his eyes wild.

"Bucky," I breathe, already feeling my strength slip away.

I don't have to be strong anymore.

Bucky drops the gun he just rendered Pierce unconscious with, every inch of his face softening upon my bloody, trembling form. He looks a minute away from crying when I stumble forward and crash into him, letting myself break down in his arms that already wrap around my waist and keep me upright. He keeps me so tight to himself that there is no room between us. I bury my face into his neck and let out a sob, my tears mixing with the blood on his suit. I can't tell which of us is shaking harder, but all I can tell is the warmth and security that Bucky's hands bring me.

"Oh doll," Bucky whispers, sending a shiver down my spine, "You're alive. You're alive."

I mumble some sort of affirmation, but I can barely think straight.

"I'm so sorry, doll. I'm so sorry." Bucky repeats it over and over again, "God, Y/N I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Buck. It's alright," I whisper, but he keeps shaking his head. He pulls back far enough to meet my gaze.

"I've been shitty to you. I should've listened to you, I should never have left you. I am never leaving you again."

"It's okay, I forgive you," I repeat, brushing a bloody hand against his jaw, "Of course it's gonna cost you at least four new pairs of shoes."

At my joke, a laugh of pure relief to have me back in hands escapes his lips. I chuckle softly too, taking in every inch of his breathtaking face. A tear drops down his cheek and he leans his forehead against mine.

"I love you so much, I love you more than life." he breathes.

"I love you too. That's all that kept me breathing, loving you,"I respond, and his lips are on mine in an instant.

Even though it's only been a few days, kissing him feels like I've been in a drought and he's my water. The kiss is desperate and pleading and consuming. It steals whatever strength is left in my knees and I link my arms around his neck to support myself. When he finally pulls away, he leaves a trail of kisses to my nose and then my forehead before tugging me to himself again.

"I'm going to tear him apart for this," Bucky vows, and I know it shouldn't but I still let out a breath of relief at that.

"Is that why he's not dead yet?" I ask, chuckling softly. He does the same, kissing the top of my head.

"That's exactly why," Bucky agrees, pulling back and rubbing a finger along my cheek. He becomes serious again and I feel my heart flutter.

"When I found out you were gone, I lost myself." He says, his throat bobbing as he Cho's my face with his large hands, "Y/N, there is no me without you"

I turn to kiss his hand before leaning into it more.

"I'll always find my way back to you. You're all I have, James"

Another tear works down his cheek before he finally steps to the side. The gala is trashed, but the gunfire is over. Apparently, his men were here hours before anyone else got here. I feel my strength abandoning me, so I lean my weight onto Bucky. He feels this and immediately scoops me into his arms, holding me close to his chest.

"I'm going to kiss every one of these scars when we get back" His voice rumbles, and I smile as I lean my head further into him.

"Let's go home, my love"

And he held up his promise. He never left me again.

#bucky #bucky x female reader #bucky imagine #bucky au #bucky barnes #mafia!bucky #mob!bucky #mafia #mafia bucky #mob bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #angst #grovelling #mafia au #au #mob!bucky x reader #mafia!bucky x reader #oneshot #bucky barnes oneshot

[orshii]

The Night We Met (forget me not)

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

Warnings: cursing, violence, blood, lots of angst

Word count: 8,7 k

Trope: strangers to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong lived anything but a normal life, his enigmatic presence shrouded in mystery. You were drawn to him when you met him on a strange, rainy night, soaked and with nowhere to go. Despite his guarded nature, a connection formed between you, fueled by curiosity and the allure of the unknown. What will happen when one night he comes home bleeding? Will you unravel the truth behind Hongjoong's enigmatic existence, or will the dangers lurking in the shadows consume you both?

A/N: Since I am very obsessed with red-haired Hongjoong because, he killed me at Coachella bfr, I just felt the urge to write something with him, so this happened. It ended up a little angsty, sorry not sorry, I love writing angst tbh lol. So enjoy the ride, I guess. xoxo, orshii. (also, sorry if there are mistakes :'( ) (divider) horanghae tho

The swaying bodies around me tortured me, I felt like I couldn't breathe as all I could see was him, speaking, and shouting over the loud music, that made my heart break with every strong beat. I couldn't hear the music, all I could hear was the words that came out of his mouth. 'You are sick', 'I'm tired of your shit', 'You'll never be good enough' and it went on and on, these words were the only thing I could hear, I breathed them in and it went straight into my heart, breaking it into thousands of pieces, as nothing remained there only little powerless specks of dust.

He kept on going, glaring at me like I was a wet stray dog on the street. His eyes were full of hatred, the man with whom I fell in love, made me feel special and made me feel good enough, now did the whole opposite of these things, and made me believe I was a fucking nobody. After a little time, as he still spat the most hurtful words out of his mouth, I could see everything in slow motion, the way he spoke and he was angrily shouting at me, his spit landing on my face as he spoke, the dancing bodies around us pushing closer to him, even tho I wanted the opposite. No one really noticed that I was on the verge of breaking down right there, as I barely could breathe. My brain closed him out, I was just staring at him and wondered, where that sweet guy that I fell in love with had gone. Suddenly I felt empty, nothing was on my mind, all I knew was that I wanted to disappear from the world, especially I wanted to get away from him as far as possible. So, whilst he was speaking, suddenly I turned my back without a word and started to somehow push myself out from the bodies that surrounded me.

 I felt weak as I bumped into random people, they pushed me from left to right as I barely had any strength. It felt like ages until somehow I could fight myself through the strange bodies. I stepped out of the club into the cold night. I was just standing in front of the exit and closed my eyes shut, I just needed some fresh air, but it couldn't reach my lungs for some reason. Suddenly I felt something wet and cold landing on my face, followed by a lot of cold drops. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky, as it started to rain very strongly, immediately wetting my face, and my hair as I suddenly could breathe. It felt like the rain was caressing my face, that felt like invisible hands, cupping my cheeks, wetting my lips, the wet drops dropping down to my chest that melted right into my heart, giving some reassuring feeling. I closed my eyes again holding my head up against the sky, letting the raindrops wet my brain as it kind of brought me back to life and made me realize what just happened, I breathed in as I felt the cold air getting into my lungs slowly, making my body tremble. That was the exact moment when I broke down. I couldn't hold it any longer, as all the emotions that I cut off when I was in front of him, not letting him see me break, now shuttered into pieces, my breathing got heavy, as I hunched over my knees, and tears suddenly blinding me as I was staring at the wet ground. I was sobbing, tears fell into the wet ground disappearing like it wasn't even there, now I looked like a wet stray dog, that had nowhere to go.

"Everything's alright?" Suddenly I heard a strange voice behind me. After a few deep breaths I tried to calm down, I straightened up and turned around. Just to see a man leaning against the club's brick wall, one of his legs propped on the wall. His clothes were soaked just like mine, as he was holding a cigarette between his thin pierced lips, which were long burned out from the rain, his wet hair that strangely looked like the shade of a deep red that looked like fresh blood, his wet hair would've fallen into his forehead if it wasn't for the black sunglasses that were pushed up to the top of his head, making his forehead free from his hair. He looked at me curiously, eyeing me up and down with a look I couldn't entirely read. Maybe he seemed a little concerned. But that thought immediately made me forget that, when I saw the confident smirk on his face. Just another asshole in this world, that looked at me like I was a nobody.

"Yeah," I said after what felt like an eternity, somehow I almost forgot why I was standing in the rain and cried myself almost to death. I locked my eyes with him, he really didn't seem bothered by the rain pouring at us unstoppably. I wasn't in the mood to chit-chat with a stranger so I turned to get the hell out of there. I did not know where I could go, but I knew that I needed to go somewhere, far away from here.

"It didn't seem like it, sweetheart." He shouted after me, his voice melting with the rain that was falling on us.

"It's none of your business." I turned around to look at him as I shrugged.

Then he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards me, throwing the wet cigarette to the wet floor. I barely saw him because of the rain, but as he closed the distance suddenly all I could see was his face being close to mine. I could see as raindrops dropped from his hair, the water on his veiny neck flew down in red strings, as I assume he died his hair red recently, the wet drops fell from his thin lips as he looked down at me.

"My heart can't take as little girls like you cry in the rain." He slowly reached his hand towards my head and tugged my hair behind my ear. My eyes unconsciously fell on his pierced lips that were so close to mine, that if I had leaned in a little, it could meet his.

I snapped his hands away from my face, and my sanity came back, I couldn't believe there weren't any normal people on earth that couldn't deal with their fucking problems.

He chuckled at my movement. "Why are you so mean, sweetheart?" His smirk still did not disappear.

"Do I look like someone who would let a stranger touch me? And don't call me sweetheart!” I said to him getting angrier. “Oh my God, what did I do to the world." I cried out in disbelief looking up to the sky. I was so soaked, but at that point, I didn’t really feel that I was all wet.

Then suddenly I was sitting in the stranger's car, -whose name was Hongjoong apparently- all soaked, wetting the luxurious car's seating, which was a beautiful raven-black Maserati. I looked at my left side, Hongjoong's side profile on the sight, his undercut showing with the sunglass still being pushed back, which highlighted his sharp jawline. The dye on his neck now dried leaving red marks there. He was a very handsome and apparently a rich stranger. I have no idea why was I even in his car, as we were heading toward his apartment. Because I had nowhere to go.

Long story short, I kind of told him everything about what happened on this tragic night with my life. My ex dumped me because he thought I was cheating on him, the reality was that he was cheating on me and he just blamed it all on me, saying I was the problem as I couldn't keep him excited so he needed to try if someone else could. What kind of bullshit is that?

I was living with him, my parents were far away on another continent, I moved here because of my, well, now ex, and started to work at a random café, just so that I could start a painting course, as my biggest dream to achieve was to be a known painter. I wanted to organize exhibitions where I could put my paintings out, to show them to the world, to show my emotions through the paintings, so other people might feel the same, and share common feelings. Painting was the only thing that understood me. When I was painting I felt like it was my therapy, the way I traced the brush on the canvas, with different kinds of colors. I always painted my emotions on the white canvas, which in the end, always ended dark, full of black and red colors. As those were the representations of my emotions. I felt pain, just as the word painting symbolized my whole being. But there were times, very rarely, when I painted a whole rainbow on the canvas, as something good happened that day. It was always personal, I wasn't the kind of person, who painted lands and random vases with fruits next to them. I just painted what I felt, it always came out like a mess, like chaos, but there was something beautiful in it, something special. I always felt vulnerable when I showed it to people, but in the end, it's only me who knows what it is about. People only see random colors and shapes, that are a little grotesque, some of them are amazed by, how artistic it is, but some of them are just looking at it frowning, as they only see a splash of colors, saying 'I could do that easily, it's only a bunch of colors poured right there'. It is hurtful hearing things like that when it's my emotions that are painted there in a physical form. But I think it is only you, yourself, who can understand the struggles you are going through.

So as I was dumped by my ex, I remained alone. I was kind of new in the town and I didn't know anyone besides him and a bunch of his ass friends. I had nowhere to go, as I didn’t want to see his face anymore.

Hongjoong…kind of made me tell him these things, and he offered I can stay at his place, while I figure out what can I do in the future. The rain stopped after a while as we sat in his car and I told him all these things like I had known him for ages, he was listening to me and I could see on his face he cared for some questionable reasons. I had no idea why he offered this in the first place, and I had no idea why the hell did I agree. Even tho he seemed like an asshole for the first seeing, when he genuinely asked me what was the problem, I kind of felt like I can tell him anything I want and I kind of blame it on my fucked up day and on the fact that I was tired, I was tired of people, whom I always wanted to be good enough, but I just failed all the time. And now, it seemed I could trust in a stranger more than everybody.

As soon as we arrived at his apartment, which was a penthouse, my jaw was on the floor when I looked around. Everything was luxurious, most of the furniture was surprisingly black, with a hint of dark red, just like his car and his hair. It really did suit him. I had no idea who this man was, but I am sure he was rich as hell.

After Hongjoong showed me the guest room and gave me clothes that I could change into, he left me alone so I could shower. In the bathroom, I still couldn’t comprehend where I was and what exactly happened. It only came in a big flow when I managed to lay down into the big king-sized bed, that was so soft I felt like I was going to disappear into it. I was laying on my right side and hugged my knees to my chest, just so I could hug something, something that gave me enough comfort, whispering to myself everything is going to be alright, as I finally managed to fall asleep with tears flowing down my face.

The next few weeks went by just like seconds, my only escape was work and painting as it mostly occupied my mind. Hoshi, my ex, tried to talk to me a few times after work when I was closing up, but Hongjoong always came to pick me up, after the first time he heard my ex was there. It was really odd, the way he was acting, acting like he wanted to protect me from the world, even tho he didn't know me. And I didn't know him either, but as we spent these few days together, we kind of grew closer to each other, I felt like he became a person whom I can rely on.

I needed to figure out what to do next, because I did not want to bother Hongjoong with my poor ass, living in his penthouse like a princess, as he did not accept any money for the rent. Even tho I barely had money, I still wanted to make it up to him, so instead of money, I decided to clean the flat when I had the time and to cook for him some delicious meals, like a freaking maid, but quid pro quo.

I'm not going to say that Hongjoong didn’t act suspiciously from time to time. Because that would be a lie. The times when he suddenly came into the apartment with blood on his face and slight stabs on his body, painting his body red here and there, made me realize he was into some dangerous games. Luckily I learned how to stitch wounds when I was in high school, as back then I wanted to be a doctor, not until I found painting.

It was again a rainy dark night when the front door closed with a loud thump. I ran out to the living room, where the storm outside lightened it up in slow-motion, just to see a collapsed Hongjoong on the floor. The white carpet under him was now full of blood, that looked like the color of his hair. My heart started to race, as I hurried next to him.

"Hongjoong!" I kneeled next to him, just to cup his face and check his heartbeat. It was still beating but very weekly. I was so scared he might die in my arms.

"Sweetheart" He mumbled faintly, reaching his hands to my wrists that held his face. He was looking up at me with desperate eyes, almost begging me to save him.

He did come back with some stitches here and there, but this was much deeper. As I slowly reached my hands towards his wet white T-shirt that was mixed with rain and blood, I lifted it very slowly, he winced at that painfully. I let out a quiet gasp when I saw the wound, it was a bullet lodging into his abdomen. Tears started to flow down my face, as I tried to think, about what to do now.

"I'm going to call an ambulance!" I wanted to stand up, to get my phone, but Hongjoong suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"You can't, you have to do it yourself, sweetheart." His voice still came out weak, like he was breathing his last breaths.

"But the bullet is too deep, I can't-" I started to breathe heavily, as I ran my fingers through my hair, squeezing it, as I started to panic. His life depended on me. "I can't do this Hongjoong." I sobbed.

"Come here." As I leaned closer to him, he caressed my cheeks, wiped my tears away with his weak thumb, and looked at me like he had given his life into my hands, and that was literally the case. "You can do it, I trust you, sweetheart." He whispered, weekly, as his hand suddenly dropped to the floor weekly and his eyes closed.

He was unconscious. I needed to put myself together and save the life of the man who saved mine. The next hours were full of me trying to get the bullet out somehow, I needed every kind of knowledge I learned in the past. Everything was full of blood, the carpet, my hands, my clothes, but all I could concentrate on was to clean the wound and stitch it carefully and hope that he did not die. After I finished and his heart was still beating somehow I felt relief going through my body. His body just needed some rest, so it could function again.

When I cleaned up and somehow with all my strength, I managed to lift him to the grey couch and put a warm blanket on him, as he was sweating like crazy because he had a fever. I kneeled next to the couch pressing a wet cloth to his forehead hoping his fever was going to drop. He was fighting for his life and I was praying he could make it alive, as I finally gave in to the dark that swallowed me completely.

I was dreaming of some dark figures that were chasing after me, and then I suddenly found myself on a field, where I saw a red-haired man's back facing me, he was standing between the colorful flowers. Then he suddenly turned and I saw Hongjoong's beautiful smile as he was calling me to follow him.

I felt as if someone pushed me weakly, a voice calling me. Sweetheart. Only one person calls me like that. I quickly came to my senses and lifted my head from the couch I was still kneeling beside it, my limbs numb I barely could move, but the only person that mattered was Hongjoong.

"Hey," I smiled at the survivor, as he was looking at me weekly, his mouth dry.

"Hi", his lips cornered up with a weak attempt.

"How are you feeling?" I scooted upper, so I could caress his face with my thumb.

"Better." He whispered, with a dry throat. As I noticed, I quickly went to pour water into a glass and took some painkillers to give it to him.

"Here, drink some." I slowly helped him up as he was wincing from the pain. I reached the pills to his mouth waiting for him to open it and then the glass so he could drink. After a few gulps from the water, he closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Y/N! You saved my life, I knew you could do it." He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me gratefully.

"Even tho, it was a very bad call from you…You could've died Hongjoong…" Tears started to appear in my eyes as I looked down at my hands.

"But I'm alive…thanks to you, sweetheart. Come here." He took my hands and slowly pulled me closer to him, as he laid down, leaving space for me beside him.

"I don’t want to hurt you." I hesitated a little.

"You won’t hurt me." His thumb traced my cheek and looked at me with affectionate eyes. At that I slowly laid next to him on my side, trying not to be too close to his wound. I was looking at him, and as he did the same, I saw his eyelids were closing, but he forced them open, so he could pull me closer to him by my waist. His face was inches apart from mine. I felt his hot breath on my lips, as he slowly ghosted over mine.

"Kiss me so I won't feel the pain." He whispered the words into my lips, his lips almost touching mine, I could feel his cold piercing on his lips. My heart was racing like crazy. Suddenly all my thoughts were gone, gone into the cold rainy night, as he pressed his lips against mine weekly, giving me control, so I could lead him out of the pain and he wouldn't feel anything. All I wanted to do was to take his pain away, to swallow it, so I could feel it instead of him. My lips moved against his slowly, very patiently, making him forget that he was in pain. He grabbed my waist and pulled me even closer to him, with his remaining strength. But he moaned into my lips from the pain that the movement caused. I wanted to separate from him to make sure he was okay. But he did not let me, he reached his hands to my nape and pulled me closer, suddenly getting some strength from who knows where, as I let him control the kiss again. It started to get more heated, as I separated from him, because of the lack of oxygen.

I looked at him like I couldn't believe he was right there, in pain but still kissing me.

"Sleep now, honey." I whispered at his lips, pecking them again, then moving to his sharp cheekbone, to his nose, then lastly I left feather-like kisses on his eyelids that were already closed, falling into a deep healing sleep.

After a few days of nursing Hongjoong, I was heading back from the grocery store to Hongjoong's apartment. His wound was healing perfectly, it just needed a little more time. He was only able to walk from his room to the balcony to smoke a pack of cigarettes. I asked a lot of times, what had happened, and who did that to him, but he always ignored me or changed the topic. After all, I was just a stranger to him, and he took me in because I was all soaked and I had nowhere to go. Even tho we kissed, that seemed like a fever dream.

But still, he was so protective of me, he did not let me go anywhere alone, and his friends lifted me to work and back, I didn’t even have the opportunity to paint as the painting courses were late at night, and he did not let me outside for some weird reason. He even insisted he was coming with me to the store that was just a few blocks away from his apartment, but I convinced him that it wasn't that far and I was going to be quick.

I was only one block away from the penthouse when suddenly all I could feel was cold hands around my throat and something cold being pressed against my temple. My back was pushed against a wall with an impact, I saw black points as I closed my eyes.

"Where is Captain?" The man who pressed me against the wall forcefully hissed through his yellow teeth.

His hand squeezed my throat with more force. Even if I wanted to talk, words just couldn't leave my mouth as the air was knocked out of my lungs, and my sight started to blur.

"I asked, where is Captain? I am sure you know it, little slut." He shouted at my face, spit landing on my face, as I closed my eyes, trying to scrape his hand off my throat. He pressed the cold thing harder against my temple, it was a gun. I didn't know who Captain was, but I had a very little clue, of who it could be.

The man was on the verge of hitting me with the handle of the gun when suddenly I felt the air getting into my lungs as the man was pushed off me. I hunched over trying to get some air into my lungs as I desperately needed it. My throat felt soar, my heart was pumping like it wanted to jump out from my chest, and I felt the urge to take my hands to my chest just to prevent it from jumping out. I couldn't catch up with the noises that were around me, some shouting and groaning noises that screamed pain. Then suddenly silence came. I slowly straightened up as I finally came to my senses, and tried to get what was happening. I didn't even realize the fact that a gun was pressed against my head, I didn't even realize I could've died. Our mind is a tricky thing, sometimes it is helpful, and sometimes it's our biggest enemy. But for my luck, as I straightened, I saw Yunho in front of me, one of Hongjoong's friends, who picked me up from work a few times. He was a tall, black-haired man, with a well-defined body, who looked intimidating at first, but after a few times as we always chatted the way home, it turned out, he was the sweetest guy ever, full of golden retriever energy.

"Are you okay?" Yunho came closer to me and carefully put his hands on my shoulders, looking at me with concerned eyes. That was the time when I looked down at his hands, that was all bloody, his knuckles full with stitches, then I averted my gaze to his face, which was all beaten up, his lips also bleeding, a cut on his cheekbone. Then I looked down next to us, where four men were laying unconscious, it was a slow process until I somehow put the puzzle together. He knocked out four men with his bare hands only.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I said quietly, my mind full of questions. "Who were they? They asked about someone called… Captain? Is that Hongjoong?"

Yunho's eyes were full of pity. "I'm sorry, Y/N, it isn’t me who should tell you these things." He turned around and went to his black Jeep, which was hurriedly parked on the sidewalk. "Let's get you back to Hongjoong." He said tilting his head a little.

I went to the car and sat in the passenger seat. "How did you know I was in trouble?" My voice felt sour a little, as I still felt the hand around my throat.

"Hongjoong told me to follow you, in case something would happen." He said, not even daring to look at me.

I scoffed at that and remained silent. I didn't know what the hell was happening. Is it normal to send someone so he can watch over you? Is it normal in Kim Hongjoong's life to be attacked? It was, based on the bullet that almost sent him to the other world and me, almost. Kim Hongjoong lived anything but a normal life.

Immediately as I closed the front door, Hongjoong hurried in front of me, pain running through his features that disappeared immediately when he saw me. He quickly came closer to me, worry taking over his painful features. He was eyeing me up and down searching for any injuries. Hongjoong cupped my cheeks and lifted my head.

"Fuck, Y/N, did you get injured?" He traced his right hand through my throat which was red from the choking. I just shook my head as a no, I was glaring at him, analyzing his features that changed between so many emotions, as his gaze remained at my throat, just to finally meet my glare.

"I told you not to go alone, for fuck's sake, Y/N!" He stepped away from me ran his finger through his red hair and squeezed it.

"Did you know someone would attack me? Hongjoong tell me something 'cause I have no idea what is happening." I looked at him with desperate eyes, trying to convince him, that he could tell me anything.

"No, I didn't know, but I felt it was going to happen." He turned his back to me and started to walk up and down in the living room. Then he stopped in front of the big window, where you could see the whole town, being busy, everyone living their normal life. He buried his hands into his face. I could see that his thoughts were screaming at him. A few minutes of silence fell between us. I was just waiting for him to collect his thoughts.

"You have to move out." His voice came out low, I barely could understand it. He didn’t even look at me, he was staring down at the city buried in mist.

My heart started to race, I knew, I knew I needed to move out at some point as I couldn't live here forever. But…it felt weird, months of being here, getting used to each other in ups and downs. And this coming from his mouth, I don't know why…but it hurt.

"Joong…" I stepped closer to him, slowly approaching him. "At least tell me what is going on. They asked about some Captain…is that you?" He was still standing in front of the window, his side profile was sharp, and his red hair seemed brighter as the sun was shining at him, giving it a little shade of orange, he was frowning as he was still thinking. But when he turned, all the emotions were gone from his features, I couldn't see any signs of the prior emotions that were running through his face.

He was glaring at me sharply very determined. "They are going to hurt you if you stay with me, just pack your things and I'll take you somewhere." He said with a commanding voice, that shouted he did not accept no as an answer. I was just looking at him, making sure he really meant it, but he held my gaze without blinking. Tears started to appear in my eyes from all the sudden emotions and from the thoughts of being alone again. I couldn't do anything other than to obey him.

After I quietly packed my things into a bag, this was all I had, I could pack my whole life into a black dirty bag. This bag was by my side all the time, not like the people, who always left me.

The ride to the place Hongjoong was driving us, was quiet. The sun hid behind the big, angry clouds and slowly raindrops started to drop at the windshield. I just leaned my head against the window and stared at the raindrops that were racing against each other on the glass. My mind was empty, I couldn't think. I felt Hongjoong's eyes on me at times, but I just couldn't look at him, because I felt like I might break then.

When we arrived and went up to the apartment that was also Hongjoong's, I stood in the living room and dropped the beg from my hand as I looked around. It was smaller than the penthouse, it was just an ordinary flat, with white furniture, as you stepped in, the living room was an open area with a kitchen. I saw two doors that I assumed were the bedroom and the bathroom. It was small and cozy, but I'm not sure if it will stay like that when I'm going to be left alone with my thoughts. I felt his gaze on my back and I turned around, finally looking into his eyes. Tears immediately started to appear in my eyes, I knew it was a goodbye, and I hated goodbyes. He slowly approached me, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands traced over my cheekbones, wiping the tear away that escaped along the way, then he traced his thumb over my lips, carefully as he was afraid he might break me. But it was too late cause I was already broken.

He slowly replaced his thumb with his thin lips, the piercing on his lips cutting my lips, the stinging racing down to my heart, he cupped my face and pulled me into a passionate kiss, that screamed, it was good 'til it lasted. Tears fell onto my face, falling on our lips as I felt the salty taste. He moved his lips against mine as he wanted to endure this moment for the rest of his life. My heart was aching, I felt like a knife was stabbed directly into my heart.

"You have to forget me, sweetheart." He whispered painfully onto my lips, as he leaned his forehead against mine, his words twisting the knife in my heart.

"But I don't want to." I shook my head, grabbing his wrists that still held my face. The tears never stopped rolling down my face.

"You have to, you are capable of anything, my heart." His eyes were full of adoration, that I never saw in his eyes, caressing my cheeks for the last time as he stepped away from me.

I shook my head as I cried out, I felt like my heart was going to stop at any time. "No, don't leave me Hongjoong…" My voice came out weak, it was barely audible as my crying got worse.

But all he did was turn around, without any emotion. "Goodbye, sweetheart!" and I was left alone again.

My legs gave up and I fell on the ground as I pressed my hands to my mouth just to somehow calm myself down. After all, he was just someone, who helped me out when needed. In these few months, I felt like finally I was heading in the right direction, I felt like I was finally stepping on the right road toward my dreams. Being with Hongjoong made me realize, that everyone deserves someone, who can support them, who can be by their side and give them some bits of advice, to keep them going. But destiny said, no, and I needed to move forward. My life was a never-ending circle, I always found someone who I trusted but eventually, they just treated me like I was some garbage. In the end, I was always alone, being left alone with my bag, to go somewhere else.

The next few weeks were all about painting. When I felt down, I always escaped into painting. At first, I was just staring into the white canvas in the building where the painting courses were held, I wanted to paint, but I didn't feel anything at all. I thought I was going to paint all the existing canvases in the world based on the emotions that I felt. But, when I found myself sitting in front of a big white canvas, I felt empty. I felt like I was there but at the same time, my mind was elsewhere. As I closed my eyes, the dream that I dreamed the night when Hongjoong collapsed on the floor with a bullet in him, jumped in front of me. I saw his face, his smile that was rare to see. The warm breeze blew on his hair, lifting his red hair from his forehead. I saw him again in slow-motion as he turned around just to look into his eyes, he lifted his hand, inviting me to go with him. As I slowly approached him and reached my hands to take it, he disappeared.

 I opened my eyes as I found myself in reality, facing with the white canvas and I saw an image on it, a face. I lifted my brush to the colors that were laid out in front of me and pushed it into the red color, just to lift it in front of the canvas. I drew one line with the red color and it was the most beautiful thing I saw in my life. The way it excelled on the white canvas fascinated me, it was a deep shade of red, that reminded me of Hongjoong's red hair, but then the blood that was all over the place that night. I kept drawing on the canvas, tracing the brush in shapes, switching between colors as my mind finally felt at ease. I never felt more calmer than now, as I didn't even realize what I was painting. I closed the world out and continued to paint the picture I was imagining in my head. Who knows how much time went by, I didn't want to stop for even a moment, as I was desperate to finish this work, the work that brought me peace, that calmed my racing thoughts, that made me feel like I wasn't alone. I painted the last remaining white spot on the canvas with black and then I put my brush down, just to see the outcome. I inhaled through my mouth deeply, as I felt this was the first time I breathed through the whole painting.

The outcome was nothing compared to my recent paintings. It wasn't some random colors mixed, that had no shape at all. It showed a scene, a scene that I saw with my own eyes. And it was the night I met with him. The background was all black, with different shades and a figure was leaning against the black wall, his right leg propped up to the wall, the cigarette lazily hanging from his pierced thin lips. His red hair was all wet from the rain that fell on him, it was pushed back with a black sunglass. The red dye was leaving red strings on his face, on his veiny neck. His black clothes were all soaked, and still, he was staring at me with eyes that screamed understanding, that was full of worry.

I never painted things like these, things that made sense, well not for others. It made me believe that Hongjoong started something in me, that I had never imagined I had.

The doorbell suddenly rang just after I arrived home after a tiring day at work. I changed into comfortable clothes, wearing a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. I wanted to make some dinner for myself when I heard the sound of the doorbell. I frowned, I really didn't know anyone here, maybe the neighbor came to welcome me.

I went to the door a little hesitantly, then unlocked it and when I opened it, I froze. It was Hoshi, my ex, glaring at me with his typical sharp eyes, that always reminded me of a tiger. His platinum blonde hair was always shaped perfectly, it was similar to a buzz cut, two straight strings falling close to his eyes, which made his gaze and features even sharper. He was always wearing punk clothes, with a lot of silver accessories.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when I finally found my voice. I needed all my confidence.

"Hi, baby." He smirked at me and just pushed me away to get into the apartment, letting himself inside.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Hoshi?" I was amazed by his behavior, he acted casually, went to my kitchen, poured some water for himself, making himself at home.

"Can't I just see my girl?" He turned and leaned against the counter with the glass of water, eyeing me up and down like a predator.

"Fuck you Hoshi! Don't tell me bullshit. Just tell me why are you here!" I lifted my voice up, it sounded angrier as I couldn't believe this man.

"Woah, easy, girl." He put the glass on the counter, just to come closer to where I was standing. "I just came to apologize." He reached his hands towards my waist, but I immediately stepped away from him. I saw that he needed to hold back himself from doing something wrong at that moment. "Okay." He lifted his hands to the air. "I just wanted to say that I feel bad about how I behaved at the club, you disappeared, Y/N. I didn't know where have you gone." His voice came out a little trembled, and his eyes were full of worry, but I knew it was just an act, an act so I will go back to him. I didn't say anything, but he didn't even let me when he continued.

"But I found out you were with that fucking red-haired shorty." His features suddenly changed from worried to angry. I had never seen him like this, it scared me.

He slowly came closer to me, just like a tiger that approached its prey. "Had fun fucking around with the Captain?" He looked like a psycho as he asked.

My heart rate picked up as I stepped back, just until my back hit the wall behind me. "How do you know him?"

As he was inches apart from me, he slowly reached his right hand towards my chest and traced his fingers on my skin, up to my neck, his gaze on his fingers. My chest was rising as shivers ran through my body, but these weren't the good types of shivers, it was because I felt terrified.

"Oh, you don't know a lot, babe." His fingers slowly traced up to my jaw and cheekbones. All I wanted to do was to run away from him. I felt disgusted, but he caged me against the wall, I had no chance.

"Then tell me." My voice came out rough, as I wanted to convince him I wasn't afraid of him.

"Well, that little redhead, is a fucking mafia leader. I didn't know you were into mafia gangs." He stepped away from me, as I finally could let out a sigh. "Stupid, Hoshi." He hit his forehead, with a psychotic smile. "If I would've known, I would've told you that I'm a mafia leader as well. Then you wouldn’t have run away." He approached me again, pushing me up against the wall. His face was inches apart from mine. I couldn't believe what he said. There was no fucking way I managed to catch both the town's mafia leaders. What happened with my life?

I scoffed at that, it was a joke. "You? As a mafia leader, you are funny Hoshi." I laughed into his face, as he got more annoyed.

"Did you have fun, when I sent my gang to threaten you so you will tell them where that fucker is?" He whispered it close to my face, his fingers crawling around my throat and squeezing it. My eyes rounded immediately, as my hands automatically tried to tear his hands off. "You had to fuck my only enemy that existed? I hate him, he destroyed my life, he took everything away." He hissed through his teeth.

"I'm asking again, nicely, Y/N. Where - is - he?" He squeezed his fingers more around my throat, as tears fell on my face, blurring my vision.

"Wh-where is that H-Hoshi I loved…" My voice came out weak, as I slowly saw black dots in my vision that were already blurred.

"He never existed." And with that, he squeezed my throat harder, as I was in desperate need of air, but it never came.

I was on the verge of fainting when sudden noises came from the staircase. The door was suddenly slammed open with a loud thump, all I could hear was footsteps, and my vision went black.

Hoshi's hands were gone from my throat, and I fell to the ground, barely conscious. I heard loud noises that my brain couldn't comprehend, glass breaking, shouting and when I opened my eyes weakly, I saw red. My vision was blurry, but when it cleared out I saw him and I knew I was safe.

He was holding me in his warm arms on the floor, my body was shaking from the lack of oxygen and the overwhelming emotions. He hugged me, as I buried my face into his chest, inhaling his peaceful scent, which always calmed me down. He traced my back up and down and pecked the top of my head, my forehead.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart for leaving you alone." His voice seemed like he was on the verge of breaking.

I slowly lifted my head up to look into his eyes, and I met with two eyes full of regretful tears. My tears started to flow down my face at that, as I started sobbing.

"Please, forgive me." He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Shh, don't cry please because my heart breaks. You are my heart, Y/N." He leaned his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, just to get myself together. This man in front of me, who was only a stranger to me, in a short time became the most important person in my life.

"Don't you ever dare, leaving me." I whispered after a few seconds that felt like ages.

He smiled in relief, his smile looked exactly like in my dream, his lips curved up, and his nose scrunched. "I am never going to leave you, sweetheart."

He slowly reached his hands under my knees, just to lift me from the ground, my hand immediately curled around his neck, as he brought me to the bedroom and carefully took me down to the bed. He crawled next to me as we were both on our sides, facing each other. He reached his hand towards my face and caressed it as if we were just looking at each other.

"This time that I spent without you was hell." he tugged my hair behind my ear as he said. "I realized I can't live without you, Y/N. I never felt like this before. I got scared when those bastards attacked you, and I never felt this scared before in my life. I thought if I keep you away from me they won't hurt you. Please, forgive me." Tears started to appear in his eyes, that screamed regret.

I took his hand from my face and lifted it to my mouth, to carefully peck his palm. "It's okay, Hongjoong, I get why you did it. But you could've at least told me who you were." I looked at him weakly, as I felt more and more tired.

"I know." He scooted closer to me, holding my waist as he pulled me closer to him. "I was just terrified if you find out, you will run away from me." He said with a low voice, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I never would've run away, don't you remember how many times I stitched you up?" I smiled at him.

He chuckled at that sweetly. "Yeah, that would've been enough reason for you to run. But for some reason, you didn't." He frowned at that.

"I just couldn't leave you, even tho you acted weird all the time, I felt like I needed to be by your side." I wanted to tell him that I was going to be by his side forever.

"I want you to be by my side, sweetheart. I never felt more at ease than I was when you were with me." His lisp was inches apart from mine, as he whispered. "Being with me is going to be dangerous, but I'm going to do everything to protect you." He said as he pressed his lips against mine, capturing it as I could slip through his holding. His fingers reached to my neck, to the back of my nape just to run his fingers through my hair, pulling me impossibly close to him. I kissed him back desperate, with passion I never felt in my life. I never wanted to break the kiss, that tasted like happiness, that whispered good promises for the future.

2 months later

 "I want to show you something." Hongjoong hugged me from behind on the balcony where I was standing with a coffee mug in my hands. His hands crawled around my waist pulling me close to his chest, his head on my shoulder as we both were looking down to the busy town from his penthouse.

"What?" I asked with a genuine smile.

He pecked my neck sweetly before turning me around and taking my hands. "Come I'll show it to you." He was smiling at me like he seemed the happiest and most excited man on earth.

When we were in his black Maserati and I looked at him while driving, I could see that his smile never disappeared he was so excited for some reason and I started to get nervous as hell. After a fifteen-minute drive, we arrived somewhere. I didn't know about this side of the city. The streets were very artistic, with a lot of graffiti on some random walls, and artists were standing on the streets singing or painting. I looked around curious as I stepped out of the car. Hongjoong rounded the car and took my hand.

"Where are we Hongjoong?" I looked at him with a frown.

He just smiled at me, his perfect-white teeth showing. "I have to blindfold you, sweetheart. I don't want to expose the surprise." He took a silk blindfold from his pocket and chuckled as he saw my confused face.

"Just trust me, love." His voice came out low as he pecked my lips sweetly and blindfolded me.

He was leading me around, as I couldn't see anything. We went through a door, and the street's noise faded away. Our footsteps were echoing on the strange floor as we walked inside. Suddenly Hongjoong stopped me, as he turned me to face him. He reached his hands to unfold the silk material, as it slowly fell on the floor. My eyes followed how it fell on the floor, which was made out of brown marble. Then my gaze lifted, just look around where we were. My mouth fell open, it was a big and empty hall with big windows, where the light came inside, lighting the emptiness inside. The walls were all white, the ceiling was meters away from us, and it was huge.

"Why are we here?" I asked after my gaze fell on Hongjoong, who was looking at me the whole time.

He stepped closer to me, to hold my waist and pull me closer to him. His face was inches away. "This is your gallery where you can exhibit your paintings." He said with an excited smile, waiting for my reaction.

I pressed my hands to my mouth, my eyes rounded unbelievably "No way." Tears appeared in my eyes.

"Yes way, sweetheart." Hongjoong giggled seeing my reaction. "I want you to show the world how talented you are." He caressed my cheeks as he said with a sweet and proud look on his face.

I couldn't believe this. "Hongjoong…" tears started to fall to my cheeks, as I started to jump in excitement just to jump on Hongjoong who was taken aback by my sudden movement, but he caught me in time. He lifted me to spin us around as we both chuckled like two teenagers.

"Thank you so much Hongjoong." I whispered to his ear when he took me down and I buried my face to his chest. "I couldn't be grateful enough for making my dreams come true." I lifted my head to face him.

He was looking down at me with the proudest smile. "I'm happy I can be by your side while you achieve your dreams." He cupped my face and pecked my lips as I giggled.

"I love you, Hongjoong." I said looking up at him with teary eyes, as I never felt happier in my life.

"I love you more, sweetheart." And with that, he kissed me passionately like never before, his lips moved against mine slowly, as we were standing in the gallery that was going to hold all the emotions I felt in the past years, so I could finally get over them. And that one portrayal of Kim Hongjoong, that promised me a good future by his side. The portrayal that showed the first time I saw him, the first time I fell in love with him, on the night we met.

#orshii #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #kim hongjoong oneshot #hongjoong oneshot #hongjoong fluff #kim hongjoong fluff #hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong angst #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong smut #hongjoong ateez #kim hongjoong ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez oneshot #ateez fanfic #hongjoong fanfic #kim hongjoong fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #no1likehongjoong

[hwaightme]

Bang bang

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR STAR'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist) (join taglist)

⚫ pairing: gangster/mafia!seonghwa x stripper/afab!reader ⚫ genre: smut, mafia!au, noir, ganster film style, bits of angst ⚫ summary: Bang bang, he shot me down / Bang bang, I hit the ground / Bang bang, that awful sound / Bang bang, my baby shot me down... the words never sounded truer as you hunt for the man who made you fall from grace. ⚫ wordcount: 14.6k ⚫ warnings/tags: barely edited (written in a chaotic flurry), gangsters, murder, guns, blood, attacking, language, strip club, slight objectification, rudeness, bickering and arguing, emotional manipulation, revenge, death [of a side oc], yandere themes, obsessive behaviour, alcohol, money, seonghwa driving expensive cars, betrayal mention... lmk if anything else. ⚫ perma-taglist: @legohwas @doom-fics @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @hoshischeekss @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 ⚫ a/n: HAPPY SEONGHWA DAY!!!! May our brightest star be blessed with everything and more <3 (and never venture into what this fic contains lol); much love and appreciation to nora for going unchained over mafia hwa, and for supporting me through the blackout that was the writing process for this fic. Much love, all reblogs, comments, thoughts welcome~

⚫ nsfw tags: hate sex, car sex, fingering (receiving), sub-leaning reader but a hardcore brat, dom-leaning seonghwa but he enjoys the degradation, degradation (whore, slut, cock slut...), pet names and praises (doll, precious angel, darling, baby, sweetheart), a bit of impact play (slapping), orgasm denial, doggy style, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), blowjob, deepthroating, hair tugging/yanking, manhandling, grinding, spit play, come in mouth/swallowing... whew

⚫ playlist: bang bang (from kill bill) by geek music, showed me (how i fell in love with you) by madison beer, you put a spell on me by austin giorgio, i've got to see you again by norah jones, who do you want by ex habit, woman by emmit fenn, bad drugs by king kavalier, often by the weeknd, chills (dark version) by mickey valen

Bang bang… he shot me down…

You had given up on seeing him again. Searching for him, hellbent on getting the last word. You had been confident that finally, after all this time, your tortured soul could get some rest. That was until your eyes locked with his in a silent duel, that shit-eating grin on his face growing wider as he studied the wounds he had left behind. The invisible scars that were the start of your metamorphosis.

It was not that you had never imagined meeting the fiendish man again – in fact, you swore that it was your only relief: to fantasise about what you would do if you were to physically cross paths somewhere in this forlorn city, and many nights you would wake up in cold sweat after hearing the intoxicating low-toned laughter resonate in your skull. He haunted you and you knew that he was watching your every move like a sadistic predator. As such, the only thing that had driven you out of your madness, the flimsy umbrella that you clung onto amidst your fall from the life you had built and hoped to have, was to wish that one day, you could do the same. And seeing him right there, in front of you, in his tailored suit and jewellery bathed in blood as the spotlights made him look like the devil himself, the notion of hoping returned.

When a strobe light flashed across his faced you saw him lean and whisper something into the ear of one of his goons, evidently excited to having spotted you. After the ever so slightly shorter, but impressively built, undoubtedly a dark-souled man armed to the teeth, surely his bodyguard, nodded a couple of times, and in turn called over one of the waiters to continue the chain only for the latter to shrink and rush off into the backrooms, your nightmare ambled towards the bar. With a quick unbuttoning of his suit jacket, he settled in one of the stools and spun around to face the stage. To face you. Subject you to a mocking scrutiny while you had no choice but to continue dancing.

As he mindlessly took a black card out of his pocket and passed it to the bartender, without sparing a glance behind him, the object pinched between his pointer and middle fingers, you were in your lonesome on the stage, fighting an uphill battle for every coin and paper bill. Spinning in circles like an animal trapped in a cage, clinging to the pole as though it was a thread connecting you to existence itself, even though experience had shown you that in this, you were skilled only in going down. That man who made living seem easy, despite, or perhaps thanks to the darkness from which he was undoubtedly spawned. Your first love, your first heartbreak, your first glimpse into how the world could chew you up and spit you out – life that was a forbidden fruit so beautiful, so tantalising to where through atrocious flavour and agony one would bite through to the rotten centre and willingly lose their senses to keep a piece to themselves.

His eyes tirelessly accompanied your every move as you went through your routine. Grinding against the pole, crawling across the stage as onlookers and perverts – those who you had to call revered guests because they could spend, and spend a lot, ogled you and yelled heinous remarks, you had not felt so humiliated in a long time. The transition to your present career had been a follow up to a series of events that had shut all other doors – you considered yourself lucky that you had even had the chance to catch yourself on these professional branches during your painful descent. And you had to admit, it did pay well. In a couple of months, after you had definitely breached all work hour regulations, you had managed to pay off your fines and numb yourself to your revoked medical licence. Things were looking up, like the heels you wore. Not quite sky-high, but nevertheless, not in the sewers. But now that being sat at the bar, devouring you with his smouldering gaze and using you for cheap amusement, made you feel filthy. With his pristine, clean, supreme ‘I am above you all’ aura, he might as well state that he owned you. Maybe, in a way, he did. Since his ‘company’, or as one would say ‘bunch of organised hoodlums in suits’ behind closed doors, owned this club among many others dotted around the metropolis.

You climbed up, approaching the finale of your performance. Soon you would be able to leave that creature’s gaze and hide in the rank bathrooms until the coast was clear. Even if that meant you had to abandon the bills. Or no, no you would have the time. You had rent to pay, what were you thinking? And you still needed to return the money you borrowed for the funeral, despite you being told that your now ex could be left to rot just fine. The act was more for you anyways – you wanted to prove to yourself that you still knew honour and tradition, regardless of how far you had been swept up by the unforgiving currents of the underworld. So now, to pay for your illusion of honour, you put on a show and flaunted what you had, fuelled by an undercurrent of indescribable disgust.

To the numbing bassline and an addictive beat you went higher and higher, letting the sensuality envelop you once more. If the months that stacked themselves like cash had taught you anything, this passage of time that you had spent nomadic, performing in one club, another, until you ended up in the one where you were now centre stage, it was that professionalism came first. You were surprised to find out just how many of your academic and practical skills had actually been put to good use – well, maybe not things like knowing components of the limbic system but having a steady hand and being able to manoeuvre out of uncomfortable situations in a cool and calculated manner certainly did their wonders. As you performed a high kick hold, and let your toes discreetly push off the ground for more momentum, you were already thinking a couple of steps ahead. The fairy, the floaters transition, you mentally listed and promptly ticked off the items, going from one move to another. It was nothing more than an elaborate ploy to convince those ogling you, some even unceremoniously palming themselves through their trousers, to give you their ‘hard earned cash’. Though, you never wanted to know where exactly that cash came from. It was not your problem, and you were quick enough to realise that it was better to keep your mouth shut and ask less questions. What these men wanted to see was a pretty doll spinning on a pole as if just for them, a fantasy just a couple of steps away from them. Not some amateur interrogator. 

His figure burned into your retinas as you amplified your dramatics, and stole the night for yourself with flair, flipping yourself upside down, only to recover and descend into your final pose. Due to the sweat and the light body highlighter that you had applied to make your features pop, you were an impossibly entrancing vision. A deity of the underworld that just so happened to find it entertaining to grace the local scum with her presence. 

The handsome black-haired man, an enticing, lethal ‘bella donna’ flower continued watching the forbidden apple of his eye. He had finally gotten you within his reach after so many months of playing cat and mouse. You were unbelievably easy to track, never having attempted to hide yourself, but for him to restrain himself for so long and not hunt you down at first opportunity was borderline torturous. Park Seonghwa was never one to wait. If he wanted something, or someone, he got it instantly, handed to him on a platinum platter. But your hatred was like an addictive scent that brought him to an unprecedented high. Each time he had news delivered of you discreetly asking after him at a club, or you trying to frequent an area where he had been spotted, evidently on a mission to do exactly what he was doing to you, it brought Seonghwa an excitement that shook him to the core.

But now that you were here, in his lair, his first club that he had opened, still a junior in the business at the time and coincidentally, still having been in what could be called a relationship with you, he could not resist. His mind had been screaming Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, every hour of the day, and his primal desires grew stronger than ever before. As he inspected the way in which you bent down to take bills from eager hands, coy and purposefully demure so as to attract even more tips, sinful musings clouded him. He could not ignore the curve of your back as you tapped another fowl man’s chin and took what was definitely over his budget right out of his beggarly hands. Seonghwa was tense as he focused on the white dancewear that adorned your body, elegant lace providing a dizzying contrast to the lewd scene as you let another imp paw at your ass as he hooked the waistband of your thong to leave more crisp notes.

The act of a sensational seductress, you practically glided off the stage, the platform heels doing little to diminish your resolve. You were even better than what he could have ever imagined from the stories that his closest allies and bodyguards had relayed to him. And while, San, the man who he had entrusted with observing you particularly closely once news had gotten around that you joined Club Estelle, had expressed your resounding success and renowned desirability on a number of occasions, now that Seonghwa had seen it he was nothing but proud. His masterpiece, his project, his precious little cherub was doing so well. All for him. How could he not grace you with his presence after seeing such a show?

You knew there was no way of escaping the monster, even if you had the ability to turn invisible, so you were not too surprised when you had found the man who had been next to him for the duration of the performance standing in front of you. What you were taken aback by, was how in just a flash, the man’s intimidating aura dissipated to reveal a charming, heart melting smile and twinkling eyes.

“Miss L/N Y/N?” voice equally as sweet, he inquired. Though you had no doubt that his was just airs preceding the request for you to accompany him to his boss.

“Yes. And you are?” remaining amiable, albeit distant, you responded, crossing your arms in a subconsciously protective manner.

“Merely delivering the request for your audience with my chief.”

You motioned for him to accompany you to the back, signalling that you needed to store the cash before any further discussions were made. The sweetheart obliged, and let you take the lead. In your peripherals, you spotted Seonghwa gripping his drink a little too tightly to be indifferent. As questionably possessive as ever, it seemed. Once you and the muscular bodyguard who you discovered was wearing a double holder were behind the curtain that served as a door to a dark corridor, you continued the conversation.

“A request or an order?” 

Absent-mindedly, you checked the quantity of the bills which you had collected - the rest were already waiting for you in the room, courtesy of the waitstaff whom you had actually managed to make something of a deal with: you did not tell anyone about their habit of permanently borrowing beverages from the bar, and they did small errands for you. Maybe this man with cat-like features was in a similar agreement with Seonghwa, though the likelihood of there being blood involved was too high.

“A request that I would definitely advise you to follow.” he insisted, holding open the door to the changing room as you inspected the bucket that had been left for you in the corner, with neatly collected, crisp notes. Your favourite sight as of late.

“If you answer my question.” you threw out while organising the money inside of a sports bag - the storage of your professional life. Once you were done, you shoved the item into your personal locker, sealing it shut and spinning around to face the man again as he beckoned you.

“Kindly, follow me, Miss.”

“Who am I following?” you repeated, desperately curious to know of this man’s identity. Nevertheless, your feet carried you forward, and you yielded to his summons, heading back out into the club.

“Mister Park Seonghwa’s man.”

“Ooh, his man…”

“Right hand man.” he elaborated, making you roll your eyes.

“So no name to pair with such a handsome face?”

The answers were almost automatic. It was not foreign to you to flirt with strangers, since that way you amplified your chances of financial success, but never before did you catch yourself being so passive, even when the intonations were well practised and near identical to what you would normally say. But there was no one, nor nothing, to blame except the hardwired response to the nearing figure of a very specific gangster, on whom your gaze immediately settled as soon as you reached the edge of the prolonged bar counter.

“I believe that Mister Park would not enjoy hearing such words from you.” of course he would not. When did he ever enjoy you complimenting anyone else except him? San steeled himself as he lowered his head, while you let the fingers of your right hand flitter over the counter as you sauntered over to the man who could not even be bothered to approach you himself, despite having evaporated from your life for an unbearable collection of months.

“Then he would not have sent you to fetch me. He should know that I appreciate beauty-” you were testing your luck, uttering the words when within the gangster’s earshot. Thankfully for San, he chose to take the matter into his own hands and, setting aside the glass of cognac with a delicate push, addressed his bodyguard.

“Sannie, is Y/N giving you a tough time?”

Your name sounded precious, meaningful when he said it. Like it had a genuine purpose in this mortal realm. A melodic uttering of simple sounds that drowned out the pulsing beat that zombified the visitors of Club Estelle. Whether that music was on or not made no difference to you - either way, you would only hear Seonghwa. His voice was like a rumbling of an oncoming thunderstorm amidst a nighttime quiet. The rolling growls of heaven’s rage as steel grey clouds stalked across the sky, wrapping the defenceless earth in a catastrophic promise. With nothing but a foggy trepidation in your chest, you slid onto the seat that was to your nightmare’s right, turning to have your back to the bar and rest your elbows behind you on the elevated table. 

“Uh, not at all, sir.” San’s shift in mien was comical. In a flash, he had stepped down from the pedestal of a man who made the demands, to a servant who you struggled to imagine acting a step out of the lines that his boss had drawn out for him. You raised an eyebrow, giving the guard a onceover.

“Sannie?”

“Yes, darling. San. Like a mountain. Isn’t it cute?” Seonghwa interjected again, not letting the man who you were addressing as much as regard you. Apparently, being under his command also meant that you were instantly off limits. How dull.

“Interesting word choice…”

“He is a cutie, though, aren’t you, Sannie?” smirk gracing his lips, Seonghwa teased the cutie, who, judging by the sheer broadness of his shoulders, could probably snap a person in half with his bare hands. Not that the person would complain since the last thing they would see would be that pretty face… but that was besides the point. No one in the mafia was soft and fluffy. And if there had ever been, they had not survived long enough to establish themselves as the sole representative in history. 

“No comment.” 

“See? How fucking adorable,” with an icy tone, Seonghwa concluded. “Now, could you give us some time to speak tête-à-tête?”

“Of course.”

As rapidly as his appearance had been, so was his departure into the lingering crowd. A newbie - even more new to the business than you, was beginning her performance, and had caught the attention of a couple of the regular patrons, and the lewd chatter had picked up considerably. It was apparent, however, that it was not enough to capture the interest of the man in front of you, who shifted his seating to face in your direction, and officially broke open the door into your life once again. Not because you had been tirelessly searching for him. But because he found it beneficial for himself to make himself known to you.

“Greetings and salutations, Y/N, it’s been a while. We have much to catch up on, don’t you think?” you blinked slowly, suppressing a rude scoff. People were still watching you, that much you were aware of. Those were the perks, or the faults with wearing stripper dancewear. You were the fixation of lustful eyes, the cool glass of water that was just out of reach for the hoards of parched scum.

“I have nothing to say to you, Seonghwa.”

“Ah how I missed you saying my name.”

“And I’d rather you keep mine out of your mouth.” a total lie, had you considered your instincts and how your legs had instinctively tilted closer to the brunette, but you were not about to throw away months of fantasising the man’s demise at the first interaction. You had at least some restraint left.

“Only if you can silence me. I know a couple of ways.” he winked, but you pretended not to catch it as you stared down at his hand that was lying on the counter, studying the ornate decal on the fingerless leather glove.

Taking notice of your preoccupation, he tapped his fingers on the surface, making the silver studs that ran down each digit and surrounded the opening on the back of the hand shine in the glimmering lights. You counted the holes that revealed his knuckles, for no reason other than to try shifting focus. You were not opposed to this kind of interaction. Gestures. Hints. Symbols. It was a horrifying craving that started in the abyss that Seonghwa had left in your tarnished soul, an affliction caused and amplified even by the most mundane details. You could feel those same fingers wrapping themselves around your neck, tracing your jawline, making a ghostly descent down your body. A shiver ran down your spine as you tore yourself away from the sight that had turned into a sinful recollection, forcing out a jarring taunt to convince yourself that there were no undertones to Seonghwa’s phrase.

“With a gun?”

He was not buying it. His precious flower, barely dressed and yet graceful to the extent of rivalling divinity, squirming from his mere presence. This was what he had been searching for, all this time that he had denied you contact. You had been a bad girl. Running, thinking you were pure and angelic. He did not want you that way, so he took his time winding you up, making your world collapse so that you would be ready to take the real him. Not the foolish goon that he had been before. You had been so sweet, doting on him and showing him off to your friends. But what he yearned for was the animalistic antagonisation of his very being. The fire in your heart that drove you to a vengeful insanity. Seonghwa’s tongue pushed at the corner of his mouth before running over his bottom lip, disappearing to give way to a smug grin as he noticed your eyes dart to the action. He comprehended your capabilities properly. More than any of those quacks who you had looked up to ever could. Your demons were loud, and yet you had gone to great lengths to suppress them, even when you were the most beautiful like this. The mortal embodiment of Discordia. Truly, the one deity he would worship. The only one who he would continue sacrificing for.

“Ah, that reminds me. Heard about your boyfriend, such a shame really. He was so young…” he pondered out loud, not a single bit apologetic.

“That’s rich coming from the man who put a bullet between his eyes.” you hissed, crossing your arms as a man walked past and openly gawked at your breasts. 

Though that quickly resulted in a not so subtle threat, with Seonghwa leaning back to adjust his jacket, only to reveal the grip of a menacing handgun, tucked away into a leather holster. The visitor, who had purposely slowed his pace, bolted from the spot, giving the gangster one final look before rushing to the other side of the club. As if looking for your praise, or approval, Seonghwa hid the gun from sight once again and gazed at you, softer and more affectionate than before, his eyes transforming to take on more of a doe shape and inducing an uncomfortable pain. When you did not satisfy him, he clicked his tongue and ran his hands over his hair, shorter at the sides and revealing a buzzcut design that had begun to fade with growth. The new style suited him, you decided. Almost too well. It was frustrating.

“Ah, ah, no. Not me. My hands are clean, sweetheart.” he raised them, a hilarious attempt at trying to prove his innocence which you chose to ignore. No matter how obsessively he washed his acts away, blood was more than a rusty red liquid. It was a curse that stained the skin of those who wished to draw it with an eternal permanence, passing from generation to generation until the Earth was saturated with the hue. Ignoring the blatant bullshit, you mused the fate of the man who you had used to fill the void.

“What the fuck did he even do to you guys?”

“Oh you know how it is. Got a taste of success, got a little too greedy… and kaput. Didn’t keep a clean inventory and clean percentages, you see. And I don’t like when things aren’t clean.” you did not have to be brought into the matter any further than that. You certainly did not need to be let in on the fact that your ex was actually one of the best dealers in his district. He was just a little too close to you for Seonghwa’s comfort.

“Sure you don’t. You said the word, what, four times already? That’s why you even launder your money…” you muttered, not noticing how Seonghwa’s elbow slid closer to you until his hand began to play with a lock of your hair.

“Ah, so attentive, counting what I say…” twirling it around his finger, he observed how the myriad of colour from the club’s lights managed to change its shine, and let it fall back into an alluring cascade, “... and not only that, we also do pest control. The last thing we need is lowly vermin poisoning our supply chains and ruining user experience for our end clients, right?”

“I still don’t-”

“Funny how you got involved with him. Of all people. A drug dealer.” it was easy to make you shift focus. One mention of your failed career, and you were gone. So, in a dire situation such as this, Seonghwa would be a fool not to use this fact.

“Guess he was the only one there to actually support me in the shitstorm. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Now, now, no need to thank me, darling, when I did nothing-”

“I was blacklisted, Seonghwa. Do you know what that means?” slamming the counter with your hand, you stood up off the stool and glowered. Oh, how adorable it was when you got so riled up. A darkness flashed across his eyes as he imagined you to be a tiny predator, ready to pounce. How endearing.

“I can try to guess, though something tells me you will provide more details.” he egged you on, enthralled by how you tried to hover over him, but still retained his favourite fragility.

“It means my dreams have gone up a rat’s ass. I wanted to be a nurse, Seonghwa. And yet, as soon as I get to work, the next day after helping you and your stupid goons, I get kicked out and sued.” The only downside that he could see was that he would not be able to have his way with you were all professional and in a dainty nurse’s outfit. Though… he would have had to make some adjustments to the scrubs for that. A few rips here and there would not hurt anybody.

“It really was only basic supplies that you permanently borrowed, and for the greater good at that. I still think the hospital over-exaggerated.” you had been more than benevolent. Overlooking status, background and appearance you had dashed to lend a hand. Seonghwa had counted on you to do that so that he could drag you down closer to himself.

“In the eyes of the law, I am a thief who has gotten away with far too light a punishment.”

“And I see a saviour.” a merciful fucktoy who he had initially simply been playing around with, only to discover that you were so pathetically trusting that he could not help but fall in love.

“Poetic.” you responded sarcastically, raising your eyebrows. Seonghwa was bearing witness to the dissolution of your resistance. As much as you wished you could keep the game up, his charming falsities and unforgivable seduction were a delight that you could not withstand. 

“You know one of those ‘stupid goons’ celebrated his wedding anniversary with his wife two months ago? And then the other sent his daughter to primary school not long ago… Like I said, you made a sacrifice that those bureaucratic little shits, hidden away in offices, would never make. You care for people.”

His hands snaked to your hips, and he pulled you closer to him until you were trapped with his legs on either side of you. Even though physically you were the one looking down, every passing second you felt more and more like a lab experiment or a sample under a microscope. He was dissecting you, tearing you apart and rebuilding you once again so that you would be just right. Just for him. His favourite doll.

“Seems I care for the wrong people.” you alluded to the man in front of you, a shallow, staggered breath escaping you as he gripped a little tighter.

“Do you regret it?” his eyes. Two dark pools which housed your tailored terror, but had to be so lovable. The devil always took on the most beautiful form.

Your silence told him everything he needed to hear. You could have pushed him away, slapped him across the cheek. Hell, you could have told San to get lost - though in that case you would have probably been disposed of and continued your existence as an addition to a faraway landfill. But that was besides the point. Because you were not indifferent. And the boundary between love and hatred was nearly invisible.

“So happy to have you here. At last.” just as he was about to bring you into an embrace, drunk from the elation of your first meeting in what had to have been an eternity, you pressed down on his shoulders, narrowly avoiding the stark white collar of his shirt that was laid over his jacket, and pushed away, hostility written over your features.

“That’s why I bet you are proud of having sold me out.”

“Who said that?” confused, Seonghwa inquired.

“I just know it.”

“And I am asking, who told you that I sold you out?” stuck in what could only be equated to a tug of war, the two of you were challenging each other to ‘try their worst’.

“My e-”

“The druggie. Right. Of course he did. I bet he told you a lot of things.”

“Like how you used me…”

“Uh-huh,” his hands glided up your body until he stood up, and your arms were limp at your sides once more.

“Corrupted me…”

“My love, you’re still an angel,” he cupped your chin and gazed deep into your eyes, noting that it was as if you were reciting something that you had practised time and time again in front of a mirror until it made no more sense to you than white noise.

“Then betrayed me…”

“Something I would not do under any circumstance. You know what family honour is.” Seonghwa did not betray. He acted in ways that benefited him. And if it just so happened to leave others hurt, it was their fault for caring so much.

“Family. What the hell do you know about family?” you were seething. He was burning you. Again, and again, and again. And you were readily giving in every single time.

“Certainly more than you. Oh sweetheart, I know how lonely you have been-” he wanted to comfort you, even if that made him nauseous, but thankfully, you were not in the mood and stepped away, making him let go of you.

“Don’t touch me.”

“I only want to-”

“I said. Don’t. Seonghwa. Look. I- I hate you. Okay?” music to his ears. How you desperately tried to get away from him and from your own feelings. Scared little pet.

“Are you trying to convince yourself?” the phrase echoed within you as you took another step backwards, realising too late that you had let him wrap himself around you like a hungry python. You needed out. This was it. Final. You needed some air. Or better, to return home, climb into bed, and pretend this never happened. Future you could handle this problem, present you was irrational, risk-seeking and a harm to the self.

“N-no. I. I need to go.”

“You know you can’t.” Seonghwa whispered out loud as he watched your determined departure, right up until you were behind that heavy velvet curtain. 

He picked up his glass and studied the clear, russet contents, and let the liquid slosh around to take in the aroma. With a quick sip, he was back to his usual self, and the smile that was on his face was instantly erased. Bored, the dangerous man leaned against the counter with the weight of his body, imitating your earlier posture and commanded:

“San, I know you’re lurking, come here.” Indeed, in a matter of seconds, his bodyguard appeared from behind one of the pillars that was located closer to the kitchen.

“Yes, sir?”

“You see that man over there?” raising his glass, Seonghwa pointed in the direction of one of the very dedicated hounds who was by the stage. He had been particularly involved in your act, and from the moment Seonghwa had first noticed him, to the very last moment that you were up there, the tipsy man had probably dropped at least a couple thousand dollars’ worth of cash. He was the perfect candidate for the gangster’s plan.

“The one in the green hoodie?”

“Yes, that sleazy bastard. How about we cast him as the bad guy, huh? Payment upfront.” San nodded. The method was simple, and had shown tremendous success in the past. He hummed in agreement, waiting for Seonghwa to add his usual:

“Temporarily, of course. All in good fun.”

“Understood. What should I lay over?”

“That a certain Y/N is particularly ravishing after her performances, and will be at the back exit in about twenty minutes.”

Bang bang, I hit the ground…

Maybe what that gangster had said was true, and that you were too good for the ‘overworld’. It was an attractive thought. Perhaps after the doors to the medical field and consequently a wide range of other careers you had considered had been shut, due to your newfound, albeit light, but nevertheless a serious enough criminal record, you ended up simply tapping into your true nature as a creature of the underworld. While out there, you had always been average, here you were a saviour. A goddess. A queen. Maybe you indeed were celebrated and had gifts thrown at your feet exactly because you deserved nothing less. The chasm that was the dark side of the corrupt city might be your true home, and you had simply been in denial, running away from it. 

How easy it was to fall back into your patterns. As you sank into Seonghwa’s eyes, you recollected your time with him. The attentiveness that he had shown you. The way in which he would patiently listen to you explain obscure medical terminology, convincing you that, to him and him alone, it was interesting. You had felt blessed then. And that was exactly why you wanted to erase him. As you strutted down the corridor that ran behind the main hall of the club, leading you to the back rooms that were for staff and artists only, you shook your head. Wishful that this would help you get rid of the reminiscing of the last ‘easy’ time of your life. Before you revealed to yourself that you would commit a crime in the name of love. Even when that love was merely an illusion. Confused by your own feelings, still seeing a glowing red target over Seonghwa’s evil heart while making out golden glimmers on its surface, you stormed into the changing room and let out a sigh of relief as you saw it completely empty. You could meditate on your frightening conversation with the devil himself.

There was something therapeutic about the wind down from your performances, if you were to forget about the side eyes you were being thrown after having been caught talking to the owner of the establishment, and according to some of the whispers, a very desired man. How they could overlook the fact that he was more cold blooded than a snake when it came to satisfying their need for a happy and tranquil life amazed you. With the thumping of the music feeling so far away that you were practically enveloped in a sea of cotton, and the lights emitting a more familiar fluorescence, like a late night grocery store rather than the strobes, sickly colour selections and kaleidoscopic reflections, the changing room was a sort of safe space. You were trying to stuff the bills that you had collected, and the chunky stripper heels into a nondescript sports bag, after having covered yourself up with something more appropriate for a ‘so late it could be considered early’ trek back home.

You needed time to yourself before you were going to black out and make some foolish decisions concerning that conniving man. It was a curse, without a doubt. Not dissimilar to the very drugs you had smuggled, he was hard to quit. And you hated him for it. At least this was what you had been openly declaring, and were not going to give up on. If anything, this was your new habit. Imagining revenge on Park Seonghwa. You were going to get it. Eventually. You still had some hope left in you, even though your feet were currently struggling to hold you up, even in your sneakers, a hint of a fire in your chest as your memories of the man were refreshed. Did he have to look more handsome than before? More refined? More demonic?

When you had met him during a night out with your friends at a bar in the classier side of town, Seonghwa had introduced himself as an ‘intern’, which you now understood as one of the lower ranking goons who did the dirty work. Now, he was all white shirt and spotless sleeves, smooth skin and perfectly manicured hands, only a breath away from being a model rather than a hardened and ruthless criminal. Perhaps it was this contrast that had resulted in the man having cemented the nickname ‘Mars’ for himself, as you had found out from a few tipsy insiders who would do anything for a private show. The god of war, destruction, bloodshed, all in the name of an interpretation of peace and prosperity. The dangerous balance on the tip of a razor, by which you had undoubtedly been slaughtered.

He was a mastermind, a monstrosity in a beautiful guise as he ran, alongside the uppermost echelons of the mafia that effectively had the city, and at this point you would not put it beyond them - the country in a chokehold, the numerous operations that kept the underworld’s heart pumping. An inky fluid, viscous and bitter, one which you had accepted in a pretty glass of so-called love without thinking twice. Seonghwa knew how to make you happy. And the longer that went on, the more of a problem that became. He knew just how to spin thread out of you, how to wrap you again, and again around his finger until you were nothing more than one of the rings that he would occasionally wear to complete his outfits. And in such a hypnotised state, you thought you were doing the right thing when you broke into the place that was housing your professional dreams, and crept to retrieve some of the most sought after medication. Just for him. Oh how he thanked you then. How he had professed his love to you and praised you. You had been on cloud nine. Until you found out that someone had anonymously filed a report against you, provided all evidence, somehow all in the same night, and by the next midday you had already been summoned to court.

The day when you had stepped out of the courthouse was imprinted in your mind. Having received a much kinder sentence than one you had expected - more financial and reputational damages than anything else, you had been upbeat enough to engage in smalltalk with the state-provided lawyer whose name you had forgotten in a few hours. At least you had been that way before you saw him across the street. Lower body hidden by a jet black, matte sports car, black suit, black shirt, black hair… the reaper himself having arrived to taunt you and laugh at the death of your career. A carefree smile had been replaced by a deep scowl as the gears clicked, the puzzle completed itself in your head. Seonghwa. It had to be Seonghwa. It took every fibre of your being to restrain yourself from committing another criminal offence and attack him, and instead watch him climb into his car as though you had been nothing but empty space to him, and speed off in the direction of uptown. A murder most fowl. Of your soul, of your heart. And what mind you had left, you had promised to dedicate to hunting him down.

You sighed as you heaved the emergency exit door open, having avoided the main back entrance out of fear that Seonghwa might be there, or anywhere inside Club Estelle. What did you mean by hunting him down? Now that he was there. Within slapping distance, if you were to put it in an unceremonious manner. What were you actually seeking? Was it your mind twisting your desire for him to simply make a return and instead of stalling on your destruction, simply go on ahead with it and shoot you down? You shook your head, pulling the hoodie that was covering your otherwise scandalous outfit tighter around you as the cool air enveloped you. It was almost peaceful. Almost quiet. Almost.

“Hey Y/N~ you put on suuuuch a goood show, baby girl… fucking fantastic… damn. Was told I could catch you here and damn, you are a goddess.”

You snapped in the direction of the sound, finding a man who was rocking side to side approaching you. Relatively tall, scruffy, with dirt-stained clothing hanging off, unfortunately, a more athletic-looking body. So striking him with one of the heels in your bag and running was out of the question. Besides, who knew how he would act if he saw the cash? You backed away having been met by the stench of what had to have been at least three shots of the strongest liquor in the house, and found yourself with your back pressed against a wall of the dimly lit alleyway between the club, and a line of dumpsters, with this very drunk problem whose perverted grin was inducing an uncontrollable trembling. The longer you stood in this state of a showdown, much like a wild west film, the more he was suffocating you with the overwhelming, acrid stench of sweat, cigarettes and whatever concoction his stomach had made out of the alcohol he had consumed.

“Can I get a… private show, huh? Swear’ve been good just for you baby girl.”

You suddenly felt so alone. Abandoned. Terrifying conclusions running through your head. There was not a single performer at the club who you were more than acquaintances with, and even then, would they help? The club bouncers rarely got involved since the majority of the customers were high-paying, and apparently the rule there was: if they had cash, they could behave like trash. Maybe a dead stripper to them was just the usual night. Who would you have called in the past? You hated to admit the name, the face that floated into your brain as soon as you asked yourself the question. But Seonghwa had a way with situations like this. He had stood up for you before, to the point where you had to kiss away his pain and treat his wounds - though that was nothing compared to the scarlet sight that he had painted in your honour. It was horrific, and yet, he had made you smile. It had probably been the grandest gesture of adoration that you had ever received. 

Still managing to keep some distance between you and the disgusting creature, your brain went into overdrive. You were backing away from him, but there was only so much time before he would pounce. As much as you wanted to just scream your heart out and pray some, well, a very specific, knight in shining armour would appear out of nowhere, you were a big girl and knew that the stories you indulged in reading were not true. In real life, and especially your own life, you had to be your own hero. It was your mission to remind yourself that Seonghwa was a villain. So you tried to project him onto your temporary enemy.

Although the action made bile rise in your throat, you peered into the drunk’s eyes, trying to read his actions. Not quite walking straight, he took another step towards you, supporting himself by pushing on the dumpster to his left, your right. You immediately mirrored it, your hand feeling for the wall to your right. A couple more steps and you would be right beside a trash pile that you had spotted when you first appeared in the alley way from the staff exit – the bastard sure was persistent and did not want to give up on you. You sneered – it could almost be his redeeming quality, compared to a certain someone else who liked to drive into the metropolis and then turn into an omniscient poltergeist.

“Come on, why are you being such a tease? Weren’t you having the time of your life earlier? So sexy, don’t you want to use that?”

He was making your skin crawl. You were trying your hardest to not interact with him more than necessary and stayed quiet. One wrong move and you were going to be in much deeper trouble than this. The sort where the best-case scenario you envisioned was showing up in the news, not so alive and in a ditch. The situation reminded you of a short story by Rudyard Kipling, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, but instead of a face off between a mongoose and a king cobra, there was a young woman with a flurry of ruminations and a myriad of regrets. Though the latter was definitely swaying like a snake.

“Hey, baby girl, are you not going to come to daddy any time soon? I am getting impatient, baby, and you don’t want to piss me off.” He growled, his previously aimless blabber turning into a threat.

Your body was screaming for you to just make a run for it, but you knew better than that. This guy, unfortunately for you, was sporty enough and lanky enough to catch up to you in no time. On top of his build, you had the brilliant idea to wear new heels for your show today, which had cut into your flesh just enough to hurt, as if scolding you and repeating ‘I told you so’ and leaving your feet exhausted. As you stole a glance at the more comfortable pair of shoes for which you had settled, it was as though a lightbulb went off in your head. That was right. You did have manoeuvrability. You just needed to get one hit. 

You neared the exit of the alley, judging your proximity solely by the light emanating from a lonely street lamp right back on the main street. You steadied yourself as you saw the man open his mouth again and crouched further down to reach for an empty wine bottle that was lying on top of the pile you had been counting on. Keeping it hidden from the man, you stepped to the side, obscuring half of your body behind the large trash bin.

“What are you doing you bitch, huh? Answer me. I’ll give you one more chance.”

You remained silent, sliding your bag off your shoulder for better movement, pleading that it would not make a noise. The first glide down your upper arm was smooth enough, though your relief did not last long as it accelerated and came down to crash on some debris. That appeared to trigger new aggression in your opponent, as he practically snarled and lunged forwards, arms outstretched. You jumped backwards, only nearly missing a pipe protruding from one of the walls, and made contact with one of the walls, tripping the man as you did so. You were not thinking clearly, vision a blur, your surroundings spinning. You had only one mission now – survive. While the man was picking himself up, cursing and inspecting his painfully grazed hands, your eyes focused on the back of his head.

What if this was Seonghwa? What would you do? He had betrayed you, didn’t he? He had no right to be in your life again, regardless of your instincts. Regardless of how terrific he looked and how much he wanted you. An otherworldly rage overtook you as you imagined the devil in place of this sinner. In his designer suit, with his slicked back hair and chains that would glitter like stars even in the dim light. The set up made your body act on its own. You were fuelled by your anguish, and each sensation in the present turned into a re-enactment of your inner turmoil that had built up over the time. The guttural shriek, the stinging tears threatening to roll down your cheeks as you shut your eyes and swung with all your might only to meet-

-nothingness. A strong grip of your wrist and a firm chest pressed against your back prevented you from moving. And again, that familiar scent. Your drug. Your demise. The emergency exit door snapped itself shut, suggesting that Seonghwa had only now made it into the alleyway, and an odd sense of calm enveloped you. For the time being, he was the lesser of the many evils.

“Oh, ‘s you! Mar-”

The stinging sound of a gunshot, lulled into an ambient slumber with a silencer. Time slowed, and you swore you could see the bullet soaring through the air, about to collide with the skull of the man whose fate had been sealed. But a blink before you could bear witness to the impact, darkness overtook you, and you were embraced in an overwhelming sweetness, vision sealed with a resolved, mercilessly protective hand. You were spun in a macabre dance, now facing the gangster, breathing against the crook of his neck and focusing on the freezing cold jewellery that caressed your cheek. Nothing more than a sigh, a tainted soul escaping from the mouth of the drunkard, before you heard a thud of his body colliding with the cold concrete. 

You sincerely wished you could feel remorse, but all that you could identify in your body was an insatiable curiosity, and a perplexing connection of the societally horrific event with what had happened to your ex. So, that was how he had been disposed of, huh. The same damn signature. And he was most likely lying when he was trying to assure you that it was not the same man. His hand was too stable, heart was too calm, and the way in which he pressed his soft lips to your jaw, and once your sight was returned to you, your cheek, were all telltale signs that this was not the first time he had killed with you as his prime motivation.

“You’re awfully calm for someone who was ready to murder, darling.”

The words rang out in your head and the realisation hit you, cutting through the comforting fog that had settled over your psyche as you drifted in black irises. The bottle which you had picked out of the trash to serve as your weapon suddenly felt unimaginably heavy, and it began to slip.

“Now, now, we don’t need to cause any more of a mess…” gingerly, the bottle was taken from you, and clinked against the smoking gun as Seonghwa was more preoccupied with keeping your full attention on him. While you were still tame enough for him to manoeuvre, He returned the weapon under his jacket.

Dizzy, you swore you were within inches of delirium. Darting from one one part of his face to another, you soon spotted a tiny splatter of blood on his cheek, and lifted a trembling hand to caress it. Eyes wide, you watched as the crimson spread under your thumb and left a trail whilst you were wiping it away. Lips parted, you were locked in a soundless scream. This was not a joke. That man, no longer a man, a soon to be carcass, crow food, was dead. And without a doubt, Seonghwa was going to tell you that it was your doing. Turning slowly, you caught a glimpse of the aftermath, and the dark dots that now decorated Seonghwa’s side that had been the closest to the drunkard.

“Look at me, darling. Look at me.”

“But I, but he-”

“I said. Look at me.”

“But you kill-”

A crash resonated as Seonghwa threw the bottle against the opposite wall, the olive-coloured rainfall covering the dead body and rippling over the dumpsters. Knees buckling, you wanted to collapse next to it then and there, only to have a gloved hand force your face to be right against his.

“You are a lethal flower, darling. Shame this had to happen.”

“Shame?”

“You’re shaking. Did this man touch you?” with a concerned air, Seonghwa inquired, his breath hot against your skin. Discreetly, he began to step towards the exit of the alleyway.

“N-no… but-”

“Did he scare you?”

“Y-yes… a lot.”

“For fucks sake, these idiots have no self control, hurting my precious angel like this.”

Precious angel. You were his precious angel. So he did care, at least somewhat. You had a space, a chance to corrupt what was left of his heart. Your forehead was against his as you allowed him to guide you out of the cramped space, careful to sidestep when he told you, lifting one leg, the other when he whispered that you should do so. This felt right. He was back. He was here. He was ready to do anything for you. This was where you wanted him. While you were busy processing what had just unfolded and fading into your beloved manifestations, Seonghwa pulled you into an embrace and began to direct two of his men who had snuck in through the emergency exit and were awaiting instructions. After a couple of raises of the eyebrow, and one point towards the bag which you had abandoned, they began to tiptoe around the area, ready for a rapid spring cleaning.

Wherever he was taking you, you had no choice but to follow. Such was the rule. Even if you had other ideas and plans, now that Seonghwa was back, you had to fall into his rhythm, and figure out a new strategy that would not cause a dissonance. Your clouded mind was lulled by his low instruction. Slow down here, now heading out onto the street there… you were a puppet in his hold. You were… a criminal. Weren’t you? You froze just as the two of you approached a parked car, and judging by Seonghwa’s immediate instinct to reach into his pocket, you assumed it was his. No, you couldn’t. This was… you needed to go home. Conflicted, the hold you had on Seonghwa’s jacket loosened.

“Darling?”

“I… I need to go home.” his soft smile fell, replaced with a judgemental grimace. Retaining a fraction of decency, he refrained from shoving you against the vehicle, instead choosing to subject you to scrutiny.

“You are home.”

“Here?” you surveyed your surroundings, figuring out that you were outside Estelle, and luckily, there were no longer any stragglers who regularly tried to make it through into the venue past doors closing. The street was ghastly, located in one of the most dangerous parts of the metropolis housing anything from cheap alcohol and sex to designer drugs and assassins. Anything one could desire, they could find here. Was this really your home?

“Yes. With me.” Seonghwa was reeling you back. A click, and the car was unlocked. Keeping you within reach, he leaned to open the passenger door. You shook your head.

“No… no… I don’t want to be a-”

“Don’t want to be a what?” he insisted, and squeezed your upper arms, as if he was about to shake the answer out.

“A criminal.”

“The fuck?” 

“I am… look… I was… Again I was so ready to-” the man who was probably still in that alleyway, blood spilling like wine out of a glass that toppled over, occupied your vision, and you gawped at the bloodstain on Seonghwa’s cheek. 

“But you didn’t. You did not kill him.” Sighing, he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, not wishing to deal with a breakdown, far too attracted to you physically to care for what effect his expression of affection had.

“But I made you…”

“Oh baby, no you didn’t. I did it out of love for you. You had no part in this except being my angel. Darling, Y/N, come on…” picking his words carefully, he permeated your barriers, crawling into the expanse of your mind palace like a virus.

“I am no angel. The law literally says I committed crimes. I should not be here. I should never be here-”

Evidently this caring approach was not functional. You were simply melting into him and turning into a sappy mess, instead of the coldhearted bitch who he had spoken to in the club. Where were you? Where was the goddess who wanted nothing more but to hurt him? He had deconstructed you a little too much, it seemed, you needed a bit more venom in your system. Seonghwa snapped.

“You know what. You are right.”

“Huh?” still too dazed to answer properly, you hummed.

“Who do you think got you out of a jail sentence in the first place, huh?”

“I- I don’t… What?” eyes narrowing, Seonghwa peered into your soul. He needed you to wake up if he was going to give into his obsession.

“Talk to me. Take a guess. Do you really think that the judge was benevolent? Fuck… girl, you’re naive. That bastard passes his bank account around the courtroom, you really think he woke up one day and felt like being nice just because? Oh no… sweetheart. I got you out. You hear me? I did. Because like hell are you gonna be anybody else’s. Huh, you tried your best with that idiot rotting in the ground. Bet you screamed my name as he fucked you, right? Tell me, is that right? SPEAK, sweetheart, don’t piss me off.”

Noticing how you could not contain your tremors, he released his grip on your upper arms, only to position your hands so that they rested on his waist, while his cupped your face. What was supposed to be an intimate gesture felt like a stare down with a wild beast. His expression was that of a predator, pupils dilated so he could refresh the memories of every piece of you, while his lips curled into what you interpreted as a crooked, pitying smile.

If you did not know better, you would have believed that your love that was reflected in his dark orbs was actually his. But he was a twisted, terrifying man, who could only take. As such, most you could expect was his suffocating coddling, his treatment of you like you were of his design. His cooing as he peered at you and saw how you were putty under his touch. You hated him precisely because you knew you could never escape.

“Oh baby… my lovely little angel, look at you. Don’t you know that I would do anything to make you smile? Come on, you know that right?” he wiped a stray tear with his right hand, and you swore you caught a quiff of blood and gunpowder, blending with a hint of alcohol that was still on his breath from earlier, all to be washed away by that scent you always adored, vanilla, flowers, coffee. Seonghwa. You nodded, which seemed to provide relief for the man.

“And I will never let your pretty hands get dirty, okay? If you need somebody dead just say it my darling and I will do it. Me. You are my angel. And now, let me prove it to you, alright?”

Whatever noise had existed before was now but a soft buzz of a streetlamp. No rustling. Not a single droplet. Suspended in an intimate fog, you studied the criminal, the hardened killer, the bloodthirsty demon in front of you. The one who was so hellbent on getting you to follow him to the realm below, even though you had never left. It was simple. He led, you followed. He told you to jump, you jumped. That was all he wished for. And perhaps this was indeed your fate. Not to be rushing around in hospital corridors, nor to be collecting banknotes in a g-string. But to completely fall from grace for the embodiment of an apocalypse, who more than willingly closed the space between you to taste the lust you had been suppressing, relishing your shared sin.

Bang bang, that awful sound…

The wind styled your locks as Seonghwa sped deeper into the night, abandoning the artificial lighting of the underworld district. From bars and clubs, to sleepy neighbourhoods, and finally, the inspiring expanse of rolling hills and rocky slopes, he was taking you to a place where you would never be bothered nor controlled, yet one that gave you a view of the city that was so breathtaking, that it was easy to believe you could destroy it. Estelle would be smaller than ever, and your problems would be nothing more than a haze on the line of the horizon. The cliffside had been your spot when you were something of an item, with you always begging for Seonghwa to take you there, if not for the alone time, then at least for the striking skyline. How oddly romantic of him to pick the spot now.

Relaxing into the leather seat of the Rolls Royce convertible, a new addition to Seonghwa’s collection - as he had informed before starting the car, you tested the strength of the breeze by stretching your hand out of the window and letting it float. After a couple of tries, you finally got into the right pose for minimal resistance, and pretended that you were a bird, soaring, cageless. The glimmering dots of the city even further from you than now as you spread your little wings and lifted yourself towards freedom. In moments like these, you were happy to be able to enjoy the simplicities, and it was easier than ever to pretend that you were not the Y/N who had fallen so irreversibly for a beast, that to you even his lies sounded like the truth. And, of course, it was easy to imagine that Seonghwa himself was capable of feeling love.

He did not bother taking off his gloves nor, which was uncharacteristic of him, clearing the remnants of the execution off his face, as if it was a badge of honour. Interestingly, the more you observed the gangster, the more you got used to the new additions and even took them as complementing features. While he kept one hand on the steering wheel, he continuously seeked contact with you, the other gripping your thigh as if to make sure that you were still there in the car with him and were not a hallucination. The exhilarating velocity at which the car dashed past trees, somnolent villas and road signs was barely letting you catch your breath due to Seonghwa choosing to keep the roof off, and so to stabilise yourself you returned the gesture. The smirk into which his lips curled was not quite as threatening as it had appeared before, however his aggressive slam on the accelerator made you start praying. What would the family that had not yet disowned you think, if they were to find you in a crashed car with one of the most notorious men in the region? You chuckled; they would probably agree that at least the last thing you saw was beauty himself.

Finally, you approached the secluded location, and fortunately, it was as abandoned as ever. Grinding to a halt on a gravelly clearing, beyond which were two lines of wooden fences that had been set up at the very edge of the small cliff, Seonghwa set the car into parking, cranked the handbrake and turned off the ignition. A deafening silence overtook you as you looked up at the night sky, twinkling stars reminding you of the collection of silver that hung around the enigmatic fiend’s neck and on his left ear. In the absence of machinery, you could feel his presence even more acutely, and the anticipation for what he undoubtedly had planned was reducing the supposed coolness of the hour into a mere deception. Your body was burning up, and as Seonghwa’s hand moved higher and higher until it was teasing you by playing with the drawstrings of your tracksuit bottoms you had to consciously remind yourself to breathe.

You stared out at the metropolis through the windshield, registering your beloved criminal’s movements towards you. As you studied the glinting whites, reds and yellows that formed the urban starscape, you could not help but ponder how, out of all the millions of people, in this architectural phenomenon that seemed to stretch on forever, on a day when you were not even supposed to be where you had ended up being, you had run into none other than Park Seonghwa. And as fate would have it, you were naive enough to let him take everything from you. And being the loved up, hypnotised fool that you were, you thanked him for the misery in which you found yourself, because at least he made you feel. With him you were a disaster, but you saw life in colour. With him it was impossible to tell whether there would be a tomorrow, but you could exist in an exuberant today. With him, the everchanging palette of emotion had a canvas to paint on. And tonight, you were going to let the masterpiece create itself.

“Take the gloves off if you want to touch me so badly.” you derided him for his eagerness, though did not see any dampening to it. On the contrary, he appeared to be more drawn to you than ever, mumbling a ‘sure thing, darling’ as he unbuttoned the leather, and slid the pair off his hands with his canines to speed up the process. The gloves found a home in the compartment underneath the wheel, to join the harness and pistol that he had stashed away there.

“Good?” he asked, giving you a mischievous grin.

“Good.” no more words were needed for him to pull you towards him, and lock your lips together in a feverish, thrilling kiss.

Oh, how you missed this. How you missed the mind-numbing sensation of his hand on the back of your neck, how soft his lips were compared to his sharp and intimidatingly stunning appearance. You moved in a familiar rhythm, having recognised one another’s alluring presence and only wanting more with each passing second. Frustrated with the remaining distance, Seonghwa growled into you and dragged you by your top; understanding his goal, you rose from your seat and promptly were settled on his lap, grinding against his growing erection that was concealed by too many layers of clothing for your liking.

Brushing his hair back, lightly tugging on it as you reached the ends, you were giving yourself up to the scalding hot hellfire. Your memory did not fail you: the action elicited a groan, and the kiss was further deepened until your lungs were screaming for oxygen. Pulling away, you gasped, only to be alerted by a stinging pain on your cheek, and a hostile grimace on the man, whose hand was hovering next to your jawline.

“Did I say you could pull away?”

“And since when are you so damn needy?” You challenged, slapping away the hand that had just collided with you, and placing yours on his exposed throat, not bothering to ease into the action as you pushed your digits into the sensitive skin, restricting his airflow and preventing him from taunting you with a mocking retort.

You continued to rock your hips forward, sensing your own arousal climbing further and further amidst the enjoyment of the man’s temporary obedience. You watched his eyes roll back momentarily, and he attempted to tilt his head towards you and steal your lips, only for you to wriggle in his lap until you were completely out of his reach, still holding his neck.

Seonghwa was seeing stars, and yet amongst them you still shined the brightest. There you were. This was who he was searching for. When he was at his limit, and could no longer withstand the restraint, he rapidly reached for your wrist and yanked your arm away, making you yelp. To prevent you from attempting anything similar, he used his hands as cuffs to keep you under his control, and pulled you to him. Giving you a smirk corrupted by lust, he kissed you again, only this time letting his long tongue part your mouth, and swirl itself around.

Wanton sounds filled your mind and preoccupied your ears as you parted, strings of saliva connecting you. Apparently dissatisfied, Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, and gripped your waist. Sitting up, he mumbled ‘back seat’ and stumbled out of the car with you wrapped around him. In seconds, you were lying on the couch-like leather, Seonghwa above you as he shifted his attention to your neck, leaving trails of spit, and nipping at the skin until he saw the beloved bruising begin to show. Sucking above the jugular vein, he imagined himself tearing you apart then and there. Destroying you. But the way in which your hands swiftly moved to unbutton his shirt was too enticing to not commend.

“Look who is needy now.” he teased, and reached for the zipper on your hoodie, unable to contain a pleased sigh as he saw that you had not changed out of the white dancewear. As soon as the hoodie was off, and flying in the direction of the steering wheel, he let himself devour the tainted goddess that you were.

Trailing over the fabric, he did not wish to take it off, the image of you around the pole still fresh in his mind and amplifying his lust. His lips made contact with your chest as he added more love bites to his abstract design.

“You drove me crazy earlier tonight with those moves of yours. How could you even consider anything else when you have a body made to sin?”

“I think you are batshit by default.”

“Do you want me to punish you again?” he threatened, discontented when it had no effect on you as you contended. 

“By what, hitting me? Two can play that game-” as soon as he saw your hand flying towards him, he caught it and forced it down by you, and chuckled.

“Be a good girl and you’ll come.”

“Big deal.”

“Says the whore who was grinding against me.”

He shifted to untie your sweats, and dragged the material down to reveal your matching white g-string, stopping for a second before moving to take it off too. The bra was going to be enough for him.

“Says the reprobate with a hardon from the bare minimum.”

He did not respond, too enraptured by the sight before him. Your form, laid out and so familiar, and yet, the newfound resolve and the bite in your words was boundlessly more attractive than the mellow nurse in training that he had fucked before. The blaze that had festered and grown within you, painting your psyche and very essence in the soot of detestation was a guiding light to him, a star in the pitch black that he gravitated towards, and wished to take over. Your strength and determination spurred him on and inspired him to make you reach the point of no return. How? He was yet to decide. But that came after he had his fill of your intoxicating body.

“Damn, Y/N, do I even need to get you ready for me? You’re so fucking wet-” he remarked, running a hand over your pussy, with it immediately receiving a dose of your slick.

“Guess you don’t.” you countered, attempting to shut your legs together, but to no avail as your brattiness only encouraged him.

“You know what. I am in a giving mood. A changed man. Ready to commit some good deeds.” he announced to you in a low, borderline monstrous tone as Seonghwa pulled you by your ankles closer to him and began to work at your arousal.

After a slow start, where he languidly circled your nub until you gave out a whine, the man dedicated himself wholly, and soon enough, you were sinking into a sensual paradise. The two digits pumped into you, while with his other hand Seonghwa was stimulating your sensitive clit relentlessly, rubbing the erect nub until you were barely able to produce any sound at all. Pressing his thumb right against its tip, he curled his fingers and beckoned you closer to a climax, stopping the motions, he kept his hand inside as he replaced the finger that was dominating your clit with another thumb, and instead took to rapidly building you up with practised, fast flicks, higher, higher, just as you were about to-

Your hips jerked up, only to be met with a total emptiness as you tried desperately to coax Seonghwa into giving you your orgasm, to which he only responded with a click of his tongue, and a demonstrative sucking of his digits as you watched him with a glazed over expression.

“You rude, unbearable menace.”

“Awh, is my precious angel angry that I did not give you what you wanted?” he asked, giving his cock a couple of pumps before making a circular motion with his index finger and ordering you.

“On your hands and knees, like the bitch you are.” immediately, you obliged, unable to contain yourself after he had denied you what you had been seeking, with that devilish grin suggesting just how much the notion had excited him. Finally, he undid his belt and trousers, letting his aching length spring free, a hiss escaping Seonghwa as the cool air hit it.

Finding your slick-coated pussy with the tip of his cock, he teased you, repeatedly moving it back and forth between your folds. When you let out a whine, rocking your ass side to side in an attempt to deliver your need for more friction, Seonghwa merely chuckled and pushed forward, keeping his member flush against your sex, but not offering any relief. Your wetness coated him as he continued the torturous act, pausing to flick your clit and snicker at just how desperate you had become for his dick.

“Tell me if you want it.” Seonghwa wanted to hear you beg, or sigh, or anything else to suggest that you were fully pliable, but what had come out of your dirty mouth surpassed all his wishes.

“You want this pussy more than I want you, judging by how fucking hard your cock is, Hwa.”

Without as much as a warning, he put an end to the foreplay and slammed his hips against yours, sinking deep inside and groaning at the warm invitation of your walls. As he heard you yell out, he mercilessly glided back until only his tip was between your labia, only to thrust and bottom out once more. And again. And again. Just as he had remembered from the nights he had you before, this left you trembling, and soon enough your body was pleading for more, to which he happily obliged, smacking you on the ass and speeding up.

The feeling of you spasming around him and the feeble moans were an unrivalled art. He positioned one hand to hook around you and held it against the area right below your belly, biting his lip as he felt his dick pushing deep inside you, the bulge detectable by his palm. Closing his eyes, Seonghwa focused on this sensation, thereby slowing down ever so slightly, and moving to hit the spot that accelerated the growth of the knot in your tightening core. 

“A-ah… Seong… hwa…” you mewled into each stroke, hazy and unable to form anything more than nonsensical babble.

“That’s right, darling, only I can make you feel this good.”

Seonghwa was despicable, because he knew exactly how to make you lose your mind and fall apart under him and forget that you ever hated him at all, driven only by a carnal passion. Having had enough practice to study you, you were at his mercy as he provided the exact fullness that you had been desiring for so long, the exact firm thrusts that were bringing you closer and closer to a total fall, and the honey-laden voice that had you turning even weaker.

“My- darling-”

Your climax came down on you hard and fast, and you crumbled into the shaking that washed over you, forehead almost connecting with the back of the seats if not for the fistful of your tresses that Seonghwa had grabbed. Not letting you ride out your high, he quickened his pace and each thrust was making your vision darken and your moans turn into pathetic wails, drowned out by the lewd slapping of skin against skin that was lubricated by your orgasm. Using you as a fucktoy, he chased his own high and pushed you into an abyss of violent pleasure, ceasing to abuse your cunt only when he deemed it necessary for himself.

He slid his cock out of your pulsating sex, dragging it over your clit before ushering you to kneel before him. Movements still too slow and lagging, Seonghwa proceeded to guide one leg, then another down, so that you were ready for him. Lifting your chin, he he peered into your hazy orbs and commanded:

“Open.”

As you slackened your jaw and opened your mouth wide in obedience, he spat into it, and upon positioning one of his hands at the back of your head and the other at the base of his member, he slid into the warmth, sighing as your tongue glided along his throbbing length, as if encouraging him to go deeper until his tip hit the very limit and bumped against the back of your throat. You struggled to suppress your gag reflex, but the salaciousness of the combination of yours and his spit and your orgasm dribbling around his cock as you began to bob your head was driving Seonghwa to the brink of insanity, and you desperately wanted to see him unravel entirely.

“Ah… that’s it. My good cock slut. This mouth is built… for me.”

You allowed him to choke you as he fucked your throat with abandon, submitting to the oncoming waves of his orgasm. Clawing at his thighs you seeked balance, to which he responded by pushing you even closer, earning a muted yelp. The vibration drove him over the edge as he pumped himself inside you only a few more times, before collapsing into a series of staggered bucks of the hips and a muttering of filthy curses.

“Swallow darling, I bet you were dreaming of this- ah, fuck-” he exclaimed. 

He threw his head back as you centred yourself, trying to relax into how his hand that was tangled in your hair kept you so close that your nose was pressed against his pubic bone, though it proved to be an impossible challenge. In an effort to overcome the pain that spread over your jaw as Seonghwa refused to let go of you, you blinked away the moisture in your eyes and focused on the sensation of the hot, salty cum coating and running down the back of your throat. 

When he finally released you from his hold and let you fall onto the floor of the car, you sputtered and gasped for air, vision having grown blurry. While he did not comfort you, nor praise you for how well you had taken him, even though judging from his state you could make your own conclusions about the performance, this roughness felt more real, more honest than the intimacy you had shared before. You licked the corners of your mouth, collecting the remnants of his cum and spit, and crawled up onto the leather seating to be met with open arms, a gesture which, in your exhaustion, you accepted.

Captured in a lazy embrace you admired the universe that surrounded you. The dawn was imminent, with some of the more enthusiastic birds already greeting you with their songs and the distant rumble of the city beginning to pick up, and yet none of this felt real. It was like you were floating in the air, tethered to the mortal realm only by the man beside you. You had taken the liberty of snatching Seonghwa’s suit jacket, considering that the outerwear you had been wearing had been unceremoniously discarded and thrown into the driver leg space, outside of your immediate reach. 

You pondered what was going to happen after this broken reunion, that had been as always, orchestrated by the evil mastermind with a pretty face, currently resting on the seats, one arm over the door, the other on the back rest, head tilted to the sky. When you inspected one of the dark spots on the right sleeve of the jacket, you had come to realise that the dead man, who you had left behind to chase your pleasure, had, amidst his departure from the living, was trying to greet Seonghwa. Using his gang name, no less. You wanted to laugh until tears would be streaming down your face. Double over and, hands hitting your thighs, fail to compose yourself and continue laughing at just how ignorant you were. Fooled once again. Of course that scene had been this criminal’s doing. How else could anything ever happen to you if not with Seonghwa’s meddling? This overly involved, human embodiment of jeopardy who you had voluntarily invited in to share space and time, so elegant as he was devoid of movement, counting stars in the sky, the unbuttoned white shirt gracing his figure like a heavenly robe. It was a shame that you had to have chosen him to glorify, especially since he fit the role well enough to fit into your delusions.

As you sat upright, only to put your elbows on your knees and lean to catch your head in your hands, you mused whether you truly despised this man or not. It was almost habitual, routinely, to curse his name again, and again until it was nothing but an incoherent collection of syllables. It was your shield and clarity, your comprehension of the incorrigible man who, come the opportunity, would shoot you down the same way that he did to hundreds, if not thousands of others. It was heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, but unfortunately true. In his eyes the individuals with families, friends, hopes and dreams, hell, even those with nothing at all, were nothing but sacks of bone and blood that he could scare into submission, or drain if they disobeyed. Such were his methods. Methods that you had looked the other way from, making yourself believe that you were above that amateur, unjust purgatory. No matter how much of you Seonghwa received as an offering, it was never going to be enough. The seven deadly sins were a bucket list for him, and one in which he would outshine every reckless criminal. He was systematic, calculating, and would not hesitate to remove a variable that no longer served him.

You were serene, a ghost of a smile dancing on your lips. Slowly, you blinked, immersing yourself in the sensation of the bites, the kisses that the man you had once felt something for gifted you. Sultry tattoos that you would wear with the pride of a person who had defeated themselves, come to terms with, and learnt to coexist with inner turmoil. Nothing short of a miracle. If this hell were to continue, then you would simply have to adapt to live with the ebbs and flows of a turbulent tide. Hilarious, how you were treating Seonghwa as if he was a terminal disease that you had to live with, but the analogy was comforting. Until the moment when you would receive a bullet between your brows, you would strive to live fully, and remain indifferent. As much as you had wanted to ‘get the final word’, you had come to realise that all you had to say had been said, and he was no longer worth your time. Looking at the horizon, you spotted the sun beginning to stir under its heavy blankets, getting ready to rise.

“You thought about me, didn’t you?” Seonghwa’s voice broke your peace, and you turned to him, regarding his bewitching demeanour with a tired onceover.

“Hm?”

“You were thinking about me, in that alley way. Weren’t you?” so, he had realised now, too. However, you were not bothered to continue this discourse. Fascinating how the mind of even the most evil of men could get fixated on the simple things like a random good-for-nothing becoming a gourmet meal for maggots.

“I am not sure why or how that matters.”

“Would you kindly get the gun for me?” Now that piqued your interest, so you obliged, and reached over the front seats, aware of how your ass was on full display for Seonghwa though he had just seen you in even more lewd tones. After a couple of tries, the hand gun was in your hands, and hooking it by the trigger guard, you tried to pass it to its owner. To your surprise, he refused and you remained standing in your perplexion.

“What are you getting at?”

“You definitely thought about me. As a matter of fact you were thinking about doing this for a long time.” you could not deny that, and thus remained silent, “Remember how I taught you to fire a gun?” the man continued, and you nodded along.

“That I do, but again. Not sure how it applies.” you crossed your arms, the pistol swinging ever so slightly from your index finger.

“Don’t you want to fulfil your dream, darling?” he raised an eyebrow and grinned.

Another game. Another dare. Another attempt at making you feel something when you had no more emotions to spare. You were spent. For the first time since you had first come to be acquainted with Park Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Hwa, Mars, you saw a stranger. A passing face who you would regard, but most importantly, go on your merry way and never wish to see again. No more yearning, nor begging. He was cute when he thought he was in control. You chuckled, earning a questioning gaze from the ghost of your past.

“What is so amusing, my dear Y/N? So delighted that you can barely contain yourself?”

Oh, if only he knew. You steadied your breathing, and through half-lidded eyes, took in the man’s form that you had once worshipped. Everything had finally clicked, and unknowingly, the symphony in your mind was now fully composed, all to Seonghwa’s rhythm. Your magnum opus, by the visitation of a brutal muse, completed. With the softness of a stalking cat, you bent forward and came face to face with this boy, and with both hands, pressed the gun to his bare chest, smiling languidly as it collided with the necklaces to make a noteless tune. Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he followed your ascension back to now leaning against the front seat further from him, stifling a laugh of his own as he realised your intentions. The world held its breath as you dispelled your nightmare, and, light-hearted, like you were discussing daily happenings or the weather, asked him:

“You said you’d keep my hands clean, right?”

“Yes.” breathless, he whispered.

“You said you would kill anyone for me, right?” you continued sweetly, studying how Seonghwa checked the magazine and clicked the hammer with practised motions, appearing almost impressed.

“Yes.”

“Do anything to make me smile?” you tested, and he conceded, brushing a hand over the barrel, and looking up to memorise your every detail.

“Yes.”

“Then prove it. And make me smile. One last time.”

You uttered, admiring how his perfect skin, his gorgeous eyes, his dark soul glowed, caught ablaze in the rays of the rising sun.

Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

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[spoopydooblr]

Demons | Chapter 1

Pairing: Billy Butcher (The Boys) x Supe!OC

Summary: Over a year ago, Lilith Murphy escaped the experiments and torture of the Sage Grove Center. After laying low and stripping at Super Girlz, she’s found by Billy and The Boys.

Warnings: descriptions of sex work, sexual violence, sexual themes, mental illness, eventual smut (!)

AN: omggggggggg so anyways….here’s ch 1! get excited y’all!!! please do let me know what you think! comments and likes keep me writing lol

Lilith Murphy was running late. So late that her boss at Super Girlz even noticed.

“You’re on in ten, Murph.” He grumbled, barely looking up at her as she entered the back office.

“Sorry, won’t happen again.” She breathed, pushing past him. They both knew it would definitely happen again.

Her manager grunted in response, staring down at his nude magazine.

Lili made her way to the dressing room, smiling curtly to the other girls as she made her way to a chair. She wasn’t really close with any of them—Lili preferred to stay on the outside. It was safest there.

The reflection in the mirror was a sore sight—her red hair was a mess and she still had last night’s makeup on. Smudges of black lined her eyes while leftover glitter stuck to her cheeks. She took a makeup wipe from her bag and wiped her face, preparing it for another night of heavy makeup and sparkles.

The routine was the same every night now. Lili was basically nocturnal at this point, her sleep schedule a mess and social life nonexistent. But she had to be there, it was the only way to survive after escaping Sage Grove.

It was hard for Lili to believe it had been over a year since the facility got broken into by some randos. She had been stuck there for years, enduring endless pain and torture because of the abilities she possessed.

Now wasn’t much different, though. The endless pain and torture didn’t stop, even now that she was free.

She was so used to pain she felt numb.

——————————

“Are you sure this is it?” Hughie asked as Billy pulled the car up to a dark alleyway.

“This the address Mallory gave me.” He grumbled, done with Hughie’s shit.

Hughie felt a shiver down his spine. They were in the middle of a bad neighborhood, about to walk down an alleyway.

“And you’re sure she’s here?”

“What I just tell ya? She’s here.”

Hughie gulped as Butcher led the way into the alley. Black clouds looked over the city. They reached a locked metal door, to which Billy banged on.

A disgruntled man swung the door open.

“Password?”

Hughie looked expectantly to Billy.

“Sixty-nine.” He said.

The man nodded and led them inside a dark room.

“The girls start in five.” He told them, pressing a button and opening another, more heavy door.

Inside, pink and purple lights filled the dark space. Supes were all over, sitting at the bar and on luxurious couches.

“What is this place?” Hughie whispered to Butcher.

“You never been to a supe club before, kid?”

He shook his head. Billy chuckled, looking around. “You ever been to a regular club?”

Hughie laughed nervously. “Um, no.”

“Well, maybe if yer lucky, one of these broads will give ya a wank.”

“I don’t know if I—“ Hughie started, hesitating when the lights started to go down.

“Stay close.” Billy said, walking towards a stage in the middle of the room. It was crowded, but they were able to find room towards the front.

“Butcher, I don’t know if we have time to watch the dancers—“

“Would ya fucking shut it, Hughie?”

“But where’s…uh…where is she?”

Billy didn’t have time to answer as music erupted from the speakers.

————————

“Are you ready?” A voice boomed from the stage. A twinky-looking EmCee had appeared.

The crowd erupted, the men almost feral for the girls that were about to come out.

“Introducing…the Super Girlz!”

The crowd once again went nuts, hooting and hollering.

Hughie looked at Billy, who kept his eyes on the stage, smirking. Work could sometimes have a little play, right?

The lights went off and everything was black. Hughie wondered if they had stumbled into the wrong place.

Pink lights flooded the stage as three girls stepped into view. They were all clad in lingerie, barely covering their asses. The men around them were practically frothing at the mouth.

Rap music started to play and the three girls began their routine, but something was missing. It was almost like they were waiting for someone. They shook their asses in a line, staring seductively into the crowd.

From the behind the stage curtain, a long, pink tongue appeared, snaking around the girls. The tongue licked one of the dancers on the cheek and she grinned.

A man next to Hughie hollered at the girls. It was all so, so weird. Who was the owner of this tongue?

Suddenly, the tongue snapped back into the curtain. The purple fabric was pushed to the side and a new girl appeared.

“Is that…” Hughie whispered.

Billy just smiled, keeping his eyes on the girl with the tongue. He had never seen her in person—just her mugshot in the file Mallory had given him. She was beautiful, of course, but he wasn’t expecting her to be that beautiful. And that body…

————————

Lili stepped out of the curtains, her heart audibly beating. All of the Supes around her could probably hear it.

It was so embarrassing to be nervous every show, but she couldn’t help it. One, she was on the run, and two, it was scary to be naked in front of randos.

Her outfit tonight was an all black bikini, contrasting her fellow dancers’ pink sets. The bottoms were definitely too small and the top barely covered her nipples, but Lili didn’t mind. Less clothes was equal to more tips.

The men in front of the stage cheered for her, sticking out their tongues. It was something her regulars did, thinking she would appreciate the solidarity. She didn’t.

Lili started her routine, dancing along with the other girls and showing off her twisty tongue. She had told her boss that elastic tongue was her only ability, which he was fine with. The other girls barely had powers in the first place. If only they knew who she really was.

Each girl took their turn doing a small solo for the men, grabby hands pushing dollars into their underwear.

Lili stretched her tongue in her mouth, moving her hips to the beat.

When it was her turn, she let her tongue fly, the pink thing seemingly having a mind of its own. The men yelled, begging for it to touch them. She smirked, letting her tongue lick at her own thighs as she knelt, ass out.

Her hands went up to cup her tits, swinging her head around, letting her bright hair flow.

The crowd was getting crazier, as they usually did, but she didn’t mind. It was easy money.

Hands reached out to her, stuffing one’s into her bra. Lili smiled seductively, her tongue also grabbing dollars out of the air.

She was almost done with her routine when she saw a large, strong hand reaching with a twenty.

Lili looked up, mostly expecting some old, rich creep. Instead, her blood ran cold.

————————

Sage Grove, 1 year ago

Lili sat in a damp, cold room. They had just done one of their “sessions”, which was basically just legal torture. The doctors at Sage Grove had specific instructions for her, because of her background. She was apparently too powerful for V experiments. Instead, the doctors at the facility did the opposite, pumping her full of V Inhibitor to control her powers. She felt weak and tired all the time, her once great powers pouring out of her like blood.

She sat on the icy floor, wishing that tomorrow would be the day that the V finally killed her.

Suddenly, sirens wailed from outside. The door to her room opened, but no one was there. Carefully, she got up and walked to the doorway, eyes widening at what she saw.

Patients ran through the halls, their various powers surging. Lili smiled, she was finally free.

She sprinted down the hallway, unsure if her powers would even work. The V Inhibitor was still in her system, slowing her down.

The front of the facility was open, with patients causing chaos all over. She could’ve probably beat the shit out of anyone there, but that would make her more of a target than she already was.

————————

The minute the grass touched her feet, Lili felt like she was home already. Not that she had a home, but if she did. She pondered her next move, the idea of a home on her mind as she ran through the forest.

Then gunshots rang in her ears. Lili ran to the nearest tree, hiding behind it as she searched for the origin of the sound. Fifty feet away, one of her friends lay on the ground, bullet holes in his chest. She gasped, looking to the assailant. A man in a Hawaiian shirt held a smoking AK. Next to him was a blonde woman who kind of looked like Starlight.

No, no. That was Starlight.

What was she doing at Sage Grove with a mysterious gunman?

————————

Lili couldn’t forget a face.

Like literally. Her brain was so powerful she remembered most things.

The face of the man in front of her was the same as the gunman from Sage Grove. Sure, he was hot, but he murdered a kid. Why was he, and the twink next to him, at Super Girlz?

Lili took the money from him, shoving it in her bra and backing up.

He stared her down like she was some kind of prey.

Lili turned, her nerves almost ruining the other dancer’s routine. She had to go. Now.

The dance was almost over and sure, her boss would be mad she left, but Lili was in danger. Even if the guy didn’t want to kill her, he was surely being followed. The Seven had their ways.

Lili left the stage, her stilettos clicking on the floor as she ran to the dressing room.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…” she mumbled, trying to grab her clothes and bag. She couldn’t be on the run in lingerie.

“Well, well, well, look what we have ‘ere.” A British accent perked her ears. Lili turned, heart dropping.

“Who are you?” She pushed. “What the fuck do you want from me?”

Billy looked her up and down, eyes lingering a little too much on her tits.

“Just a little chat, right Hughie?” He motioned to the skinny man next to him.

“Uh, uh yeah.”

“Whatever you want from me, I don’t have it.”

Butcher took a step closer. “We don’t want nothing from ya, love. Just a little help, that’s all.”

“Help?”

Billy smirked. “I got a tip that a little lassie gave Homelander a run for his money few years ago.”

Fuck. Lili’s body went rigid. Her mouth dried. “Well then you got the wrong girl.”

Butcher laughed. He got even closer.

“Nah. I think we got ‘er right here.” He stared into her eyes. If she wasn’t on the run, she’d consider it a tender moment.

Billy paused. “Eh, Demoness?”

The nickname stung her like a fucking wasp.

“Don’t call me that.” She spat.

“Ah, there’s the spunk!” Billy turned to Hughie.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“M’ sorry love, how rude of me.” He stepped forward, again. “I’m Billy Butcher, and this here,” he clapped the twink on the shoulder. “This is Hughie Campbell.”

“Okay, and?” Lili looked past the men and to the door. “How the fuck did you find me?”

“Not hard when ya stripping around in ya knickers and using that tongue of yours.”

Rude, but true. Lili shivered, crossing her arms in front of her breasts. She was still practically naked. Again, Butcher’s gaze lingered a bit too long.

“You two enjoy the show?” She spit back, turning to grab her clothes.

“Eh, seen better.” Butcher replied. Hughie looked uncomfortable.

Lili scoffed. “Sure.” She rummaged through her bag, desperate to cover up. “Doesn’t matter anymore, though, does it?”

Butcher was silent. Lili took a step towards him, almost as tall as him with her heels. “When The Seven finds me, which they will, no thanks to you, they will kill me.”

“That’s why we’re here first, love.”

Lili almost pressed her thighs together at the nickname. “And what makes you think I’ll come with you?”

Billy laughed. “You got anotha option?”

Lili thought for a second. She really didn’t have another option, but Billy and Hughie were still suspicious to her. How did they find out about her in the first place?

“I—“ she started, but before she could get the words out, the door to the dressing room burst open.

For the second time that night, Lili’s blood ran cold. In the doorway stood The Deep.

“Lilith!” He said, seemingly relieved to see her.

Frankly, Lili was too stunned to speak.

“Ah, how nice of you to join us!” Billy said, standing in front of Lili. She didn’t expect him to try and protect her. “Looks like you were searchin’ for the little lady here too.”

He looked past Billy. “I’ve been worried sick about you!”

Lili rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Kevin.”

Billy looked back to Lili, giving her a questioning look.

“N-no you’re not! Look at you, Lil!” He motioned to her bra and panties. “Why didn’t you find me when you escaped?”

Something inside of her snapped. After the years and years of torture, she was finally free. There was nothing holding her back from finally showing The Deep what she was made of. No Homelander watching over her or power inhibitors.

“You don’t fucking own me.” She spat.

“But, but I thought—“

“You fucking raped me, Kevin!”

Billy turned to Lili, then to The Deep.

Lili could hear his heartbeat pick up.

“The fuck ‘e talking about, Lili?”

She ignored him. Fight now, traumatic backstory later.

“I did not!” The Deep wined. “Why does everyone say that?”

“Maybe because yer a fuckin serial rapist bastard, ever think about tha?”

Lili felt her hands get hot. Oh no. She hadn’t felt her powers in a long time. The energy surged through her body, lighting her nerves up. Her heartbeat rang in her ears. There was no doubt The Deep could hear it, too.

“Lili, please.” He begged her. “Come back with me.”

“Never.”

“Please?” He pouted.

“The lady said no, Kevin.” Billy smirked, stepping towards The Deep.

They stared each other down. Lili didn’t know if Billy or Hughie were Supes. If they weren’t, it was going to be up to her to defeat The Deep. Her hands heated up more.

“Kevin.” She said, pushing past Billy. “You need to go.”

“Lilith—“

“Now!” She yelled, hands lighting on fire. Long, pointed fingernails grew from her fingers. Her eyelids flickered, revealing blood red irises, contrasting to her usual ocean blue.

Billy lunged back, but was unsurprised by her power. He must’ve read her file.

She spoke through new, pointed teeth, with a deeper, more ominous voice.

“If you don’t leave, I’m going to have to fucking kill you.” She couldn’t help the way she was feeling. After years and years of repressing her powers and taking the V Inhibitor, Demoness was back.

“Lili, baby—“ The Deep had only seen her powers once, ten years ago.

Lili opened her mouth, half expecting her tongue to slide out like a big joke. Instead, she breathed fire, flames shooting out of her mouth.

The Deep barely got out of the way before the fire scorched him. He fell to the ground.

“Fuck! What the fuck!”

“Get out!” She yelled.

The Deep scrambled up, grabbing the door handle.

“And Kevin,” Lili smiled with her fangs. “Do tell Homelander I’m back,” she looked to Billy, then back to The Deep. “Tell him I’m coming for him.”

Billy smiled to Hughie, who looked terrified. Lili forgot he was even there.

“Y-you can’t defeat him. He’s too powerful.”

Lili laughed, entire body in flames now. “Well a girl can try, right?”

“Lili—“

“No. Fuck you. Get out!” She shot fire from her hands, burning his skin.

The Deep crawled away, leaving an ablaze Lili with Billy and Hughie.

“Fuck.” She whispered, the fire on her body dying out. It was exhausting being a supe. Lili felt her body relax, but the relief was too much and she faltered, barely able to catch herself.

“Haven’t used those powers in a minute, huh?” Butcher grabbed her shoulder.

Lili’s eyelids fluttered. She was not going to pass out in front of a sexy older man.

“Uhh—“

“Here.” Butcher shrugged off his long black coat. “Don’t want ya lookin like a whore when ya meet the boys.”

He said that, though she could tell he would rather have her in her underwear (or nothing at all).

The boys?

#billy butcher x oc #billy butcher x reader #billy butcher #the boys

[bluebird990]

Eleceed minor characters appreciation post!!!

(read: me fangirling over characters who, imo, need more screentime)

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW IN LOVE I AM WITH THIS CHILD!!

Like. I would literally die for this kid. Can we just adopt him?? And keep him in Korea with us forever?? His family clearly doesn't deserve him! And I feel like Jiwoo is probably the first person who has ever shown any concern for him and has been nice to this douchebag...just...please adopt him into your found family Jiwoo!! (also fuck you Duke!! how dare you hurt him, you lowly mob boss!!!)

I NEED him to make some friends who genuinely care about him!!! I also want Jiwoo to give him a bear hug. He needs one.

Next up is Kang Suman!!!!!

Do I even need to say why this man is the definition of perfection?!?!?!

He is the only sane person in the Kang family and the way he held Jiwoo protectively after he was tortured?? and the way he tries to look out for his nephew as best as he can?? Literal perfection.

Next!!! Him!!!!!

Muse is the CUTEST member of Frame. Fight me.

It was like a flip switched in my mind the moment he took his mask off. It's the eyes, I swear. He just looks so trustworthy; not to mention how well he treated Jiwoo from the very beginning (granted he was just being polite but damn!! we love a man with good manners!!)

And Jiwoo definitely won him over after his fights. I LOVE how genuine his concern was for our main boy!!

He also definitely made the best first impression among all the Frame members!!!

Next up!! The superior Patrick sibling!!!

I am that meme "I've only known this punk for one chapter but if anything happens to him, I will kill everyone and then myself."

Like, come on!! The way he said "You're so kind that I'd feel bad for ignoring you" to Jiwoo?? and just the whole vibe of his character?? I Love Him. Far more than his brother, definitely!!

The moment he was leaving I was like "Nooo invite him to your gang Jiwoo!!!" He'd be such a fun addition to our idiots!!!

And lastly...okay hear me out...

Now I know that Roist is kind of an asshole and he definitely DID NOT make the best first impression BUT!! the way he disses and insults Duke? Gold.

Also, let's be real. At least he asked to meet and fight Jiwoo in a not-very-civil-but-at-least-it-wasn't-an-ambush kind of way. He isn't the best but not the worst either. (And his name is so...fun to say!! ...Idk I just love it!!)

And I loved how surprised-but-also-kinda-pleased he looked after seeing Jiwoo kick Duke's ass.

Bonus? He's Kayden's fangirl!!!

Look at him!! He looks like he's two seconds away from going sparkly-eyed and squealing like a high schooler with a crush lol!!! He is the president of Kayden's fan club!!! This side of him is so cute!!!!!

(Add him to the list of Potential Future Hyung?? Idk I just Love this psycho!!)

#I LOVE THEM OKAY?? #every single one of them #they need more screentime #especially ian and arthur!! #lets just keep them in South Korea forever pretty please?? #also #ignore my cringiness LOL #arthur bryan #ian patrick #suman kang #muse #roist #eleceed #webtoon

[megamindsecretlair]

Be My Little Darling - Chapter 7

Chapter 6 Chapter 8

Pairing: Loki x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Angst. Torture, toxic Loki, use of magic, and mentions of survivor's guilt.

Summary: Loki is the exclusive owner of the hottest club in New Asgard. Dubbed the Nine Realms, each of the nine rooms represent a different realm. You are his second in command, working the floors and ensuring everyone is having fun. When a shipment goes missing, Loki has to question the kitchen staff and get to the bottom of who's hurting the club.

Word Count: 2,607k

Masterlist

A/N: There's just something about toxic fictional characters that tears me to bits LOL. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @cantstayawaycani @braverthanthenewworld @monaeesstuff @headcannonxgalore @chaos-4baby @dayjlovesromance @soft-persephone @mybonafidefeelings

Loki could still taste Darling in his mouth and it was driving him insane. He could hardly concentrate as he walked past all of his kitchen staff. He did have the patience of a god but he wondered just what Darling was holding on to. 

If it were a matter of logic, he could present you with the facts of your attraction. As soon as you came to work for him, you drew an aura around you that captivated him. Not many people or things did. You had an easy working relationship and it was offset by your chemistry. He had backups for his arguments for why you would make a formidable pair. 

If it were a matter of emotion, he had all manners of ways to appeal to your baser instincts. You always came undone when he touched you. It seemed like you were nearly close every time. He’d take you to the precipice and something called you back. Away from him. 

He wasn’t too proud to admit that he was jealous of it. Of that secret part of you that you held so near and dear in your heart. He wanted the inside of your heart. He wanted your everything. 

The kitchen staff before him trembled and watched him with a wary eye. You hovered in the background. Pride swelled in his chest whenever he’d see you flinch and hiss from him smacking your ass. His hand twitched with the urge to do it again. But alas, more pressing matters were afoot.

“We have a saboteur,” Loki announced. No one twitched. It either wasn’t one of them or they were damn good at lying. He doubted they were that good at lying. Loki stalked back and forth like a caged tiger.

He was sick of the puzzles and games. The mishaps around his club. An attack on his club was an attack on him. He could handle it, but he didn’t want his people harmed or his money interrupted. Whoever the person was…Loki clenched his fists. Perhaps Darling wasn’t the only one wound tight. 

“The past few weeks, there have been accidents and screw ups. Kitchen fires, missing shipments. The other day, our own Angel was hurt on stage in front of witnesses. Our saboteur must be an embittered employee. Perhaps former. I should like to think I’m a fair boss,” he said.

The staff gave each other a look before bobbing their heads up and down. Some were tall, some were short. Some wore white chefs uniforms with aprons and stained kitchen towels thrown over their shoulders. Some had their sleeves rolled up, arms crossed in front of them. A few were shaking. Not from fear of guilt, it didn’t look like. 

“I’ve vetted them myself, Loki. They wouldn’t mess with the club. It’s like home to us,” you said.

“Stay out of this,” Loki demanded. He didn’t need you clouding his judgment in the moment. He needed his wits about him. 

“You. Where were you earlier?” Loki pointed to a man on the end, with short graying hair. The man startled before clearing his throat. “Prep, sir,” he said. 

“And did you see Darling this morning? Sign for the delivery?” Loki asked. 

“No, sir,” he said.

“Who did?” Loki asked. Hands tentatively wavered to the air. Loki questioned them all. They all saw you pop in and say hello. You went to the bay to sign for the shipment, you spoke with Justin, and then left. Justin delayed going outside but when he did, the shipment was gone. Poof. Vanished. 

Loki sighed as he looked at the sorry lot. His patience was precariously thin. He singled Justin out and made him stand forward, away from the others. “Tell me what happened.”

Justin wrung his hands, sweating profusely. Loki didn’t detect magic on the man. But if the saboteur flitted throughout the club undetected, it stood to reason that they’d hide in plain sight as well. Loki didn’t recognize the man from before. He was Asgardian, but was he magical? 

In starts and stops, Justin recounted what happened exactly as the others put it. Stockroom first, bar second. Loki watched Justin as he spoke. Loki huffed a laugh and looked at Justin.

“Do you take me for a fool?” Loki asked before his power unfurled and the kitchen staff behind Justin screamed out in pain. Justin whipped around as the staff were in various states of sinking to the floor. 

“No!” You rushed forward. Loki held out a hand to keep you in place while he cast illusions over the staff. Their worst nightmares were brought to life. Except for Justin. He watched in horror as they writhed.

“Do you not think I can tell when someone is lying to my face?” Loki spoke calmly, jovially as he stepped closer to Justin. He grinned at the man but it was more like a baring of teeth. 

“I swear–”

“Do not swear unless you mean it, wholeheartedly. Their suffering is on your hands,” Loki said. His voice dropped, nearly a seductive whisper. 

“Stop it!” You cried out. Loki ignored you. “If you’re going to punish anyone, punish me!” 

“Admirable, Darling. But not what I’m after.” Loki kept his eyes on Justin. “I will have the truth.” 

The kitchen staff were still screaming. They were on the floor now. Some had merely sat, staring off into space. Shock got them by now. Others were fighting it, wiggling on the ground like listless worms. Justin shook from head to foot. 

“I was in the stockroom!” Justin yelled out. “Oh gods, stop!” 

“You must think so little of your fellow coworkers,” Loki mocked with fake sympathy. 

“Loki, you bastard! Let them go,” you yelled. You pushed against his hold on you. You were a powerful sorceress in your own right, to be able to fight him off. He half wondered why you didn’t use your powers more. 

Loki ignored you. His focus was on Justin, on the way the man dripped with sweat. Whatever he was lying about, Loki would hear the truth. 

Justin sighed. “Stop it! Stop it! I was in the stock room. With…Carter,” Justin said. He hung his head with a sigh of defeat escaping him. 

“Ah,” Loki said. Asgardians didn’t care about that but this Carter person must’ve. Loki released everyone, including you, and they panted on the ground. Their screams died away. Justin looked toward who Loki assumed was Carter but the man turned away from him. 

You rounded on Loki, your earlier pain forgotten, and you pushed Loki. He was immovable. He arched a brow at you and smirked. 

“You had no right!” You yelled. “You don’t punish employees like that! Ever!” 

“I have every right!” Loki’s voice boomed and echoed in the tiled expanse of the kitchen. “I own this space, this club, the floor we walk on, and those in my employ. It’s mine!” He advanced on you, getting into your face. Not as a lover this time, but as a true god. The Prince of Asgard. The Heir of Jotunheim. No one stood in his path. No one.

“You will be left with nothing if you continue to push people around like pieces on a chess board!” You pushed him again. And again. Each time, Loki didn’t move because he didn’t want to move. He chuckled at your feeble attempts.

You slapped him. The bright sting of pain made him smile harder. “Bit harder next time, Darling,” he said.

You did slap him harder. He grabbed you by the throat and pulled you in closer. “You’re better than this, Loki,” you managed to squeeze out. 

Loki chuckled and leaned in close. His lips brushed yours. “Do not attempt to tame me,” Loki whispered. He stared into your eyes. He couldn’t decipher the emotions there but he knew desire when he saw it. 

Still, you fought him. Fought the side of you that needed release. It was beginning to irritate him. He was a god brought low by the part you refused to share. He wanted it. Like a spoiled child reaching for the last slice of cake when no one else had any. 

You were mad at him. So be it. Perhaps you’d finally let go of the control you so desperately clung to. He wanted you to yell, to scream, to punch things. You kept such a tight leash on your emotions. He wanted to pick at the threads keeping your seams together and unravel it until he got your core. 

He wanted the universe inside of you. Every star, every nebula, and every wayward black hole. He wanted your ugly, your beautiful, and your very essence. He wanted and wanted.

You pushed him away. Denied him once again. Loki moved back. 

“We will find the saboteur another way. Not like this,” you said. Your teeth were clenched and you were no longer looking at him. He stared at you until your eyes met his.

“Pray, tell me how then?” 

You didn’t have the slightest fucking clue. You weren’t a fucking detective. But it couldn’t be like this. If he tortured everyone in the club, there would be no one left who wanted to work here. This went beyond a mere occupational hazard. Despite his little tantrum, he did not have the right to treat desperate and hard working people like this. 

These people lost absolutely everything. Their home, their families, their jobs. They were in a foreign land with foreign people and customs. All they had was the club and Loki was too stupid to realize it. Or to care. 

You knew he was cruel. This wasn’t even the first time you’d seen him unleash his powers on someone. It should’ve sickened you. But nothing he did ever turned your stomach. You understood him. Sometimes, emotions were too big and too wild to contain inside. The big ones like lust, rage, euphoria were too much for one body to contain. As much as Loki wanted to project an aura of control and carefree mischief, he was still a man reaching for what everyone else was reaching for: to be understood.

“It must be together,” you said, throwing his earlier words back at him. His eyebrows raised a fraction before smirking. 

“Very well,” he said. 

You sighed. You felt like you had just defused a bomb. You turned to the kitchen staff. “Fan out. Someone saw something and there’s only so many places to hide our ale,” you said.

The staff gave Loki a wide berth as they muttered amongst themselves. You’d have to talk to them individually. Especially Justin and Carter. You had suspected but…

Justin crossed towards Carter. A human with honey-golden skin and dark hair and features. He recoiled from Justin’s touch and wiped at his eyes. You hated that Loki made Justin confess in front of everyone. Who cared if he was in the stockroom? The place was probably crawling with…unpleasant things from all the employees. It was one of the only rooms you could lock. There were no perishables inside so…

You turned to Loki who watched you, cold and calculating as always. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. It would be easier if that were the case. He was the one that always riled you up and yet you were the one that always wanted to soothe him. 

You stepped closer to him. “That can’t happen again,” you said.

“You’re giving me orders?” He asked and smirked. He looked you up and down and you hated that your body reacted instantly.

“Not everything is a damn sexual innuendo. That was too far,” you said.

“Not far enough in my view. Someone is messing with my club. The list of my enemies is not short. The list of my magical enemies is even longer. We are leagues away from a lot of them but it’s not difficult to surmise this is where I am after the destruction Thanos wrought. My enemies could have been snapped or remain in their own realms but someone hates me enough to make the trek here. Instead of facing me they’re…” 

“Intentionally driving you mad?” 

Loki’s lips parted but he nodded. “As a form of…” 

“Punishment? Revenge?” 

“Both. Either.” His nostrils flared as he thought about it. “I’ve made a career of caring for nothing and no one, Darling. I got my own mother killed by being petty when I was confined. But this…this I care about. And the saboteur knows it.” 

You slipped your hand in his. He was as surprised as you were. You forced yourself to hold his hand and look into his captivating eyes. “They’re not trying to harm the place. Their tricks have been, well, petty as well. Hiding shipments, bewitching customers, sending Angel through the stage. They could’ve burned this place to the ground ten times over. They’re not going to take this from us.” Yes, you included yourself in that, don’t make a thing of it.

Loki smiled at you. An expected boyish smile that made his eyes crinkle and made you smile in return. You liked seeing that smile. And pleasure ran through you knowing that you put it there on his face. 

“Uh, the shipment is in the bay.” You looked away from Loki to see one of the dishwashers, Harry, pointing outside. You glanced at Loki who frowned.

You followed him back out into the shipping bay. Sure enough, there was the shipment. Relief passed through the kitchen staff like a tangible thing. They kept their celebrations quiet as they eyed Loki’s reaction.

Together, you walked to the shipment. There was a giant red bow on it like it was a present. You were sure that if you checked the cameras, it would have just appeared. But who? Why? What did the saboteur gain from this? To embarrass Loki?

A dark thought raced through your mind. This would be quite embarrassing. Loki never usually lost his cool or let anyone see past the facade of a devilish club owner. These mistakes and mishaps were undermining Loki’s authority. 

Fear gripped you as Loki approached the shipment. Like any good present, it came with a card. The card was long instead of wide. It was a deep, emerald green and shimmered as he flipped it back and forth. 

You approached and read it over his shoulder. All it said was “remember”. Whatever the fuck that meant. You looked at his face. He scowled at the card as if it were to blame for everything that had been going on here. He flipped it between his delicate fingers. 

“It smells faintly of magic. But I can’t place it,” he said quietly. 

You turned to the staff and discreetly waved them away. They wasted no time getting back inside and getting back to work. Once you were alone, you put your hand on his arm and turned him towards you.

“It stands to reason that whoever this is, is constantly watching and listening in. Leaving this card, they must think they’re winning,” you said.

There was no way to hide what you had puzzled out earlier, so you just told him. He showed no emotion as you told him your theory but his jaw flexed as he thought it over. 

“They want me to react, to split my attention. They will sneak in when I least expect it and strike while I’m distracted.” he said.

“Yes,” you said. 

He smiled and nodded, looking out to the setting sun. He smirked at you. Devil indeed. He held out his arm and you took it. 

“Well, then. Let’s give them a show.” 

Masterlist | Chapter 6 | Chapter 8

#megaminds secret files #The Secret Loki Files #Loki x Black!reader #Loki x Black reader #Loki x Fem!reader #Loki x Fem reader #Loki x plus size reader #Loki x you #Loki x reader #marvel smut #Loki fanfic #Loki fan fic #Loki imagine #Loki fanfiction #Loki fan fiction

[kwanisms]

Sweat for Me - h.zitao

soloist masterlist | next »»

➥ dom!Tao × sub!Reader

summary: while visiting a nightclub with your friends while on vacation in Shanghai, you meet a man who not only blows you away with his impeccable conversation but also his ability to listen to you.

Or the one where a man actually listens to you talk and you find that incredibly sexy, so you agree to go back to his hotel. Did I mention he's got a huge --

wc: 4.5k

warnings: adult dialogue, alcohol consumption, female reader, smaller reader, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby

exo taglist: @cixrosie

special tags: @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21

join my taglists: permanent | group.

a/n: I'm only writing this cause @anyamaris has been torturing me with Tao for the last few days in the CoDn discord. So now she can suffer with me 🙃 also, I've never actually written for Tao before so pls be gentle with me. I was listening to Sweat by Zayn when this idea popped up so listen to that to get the vibe I was going for lol as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

smut warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), mutiple orgasms (and reader passes out for like 10 seconds), dom!Tao, he's got a big dick, edging (f receiving), choking, spitting, dirty talk, praise, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, etc), creampie, slight daddy kink (but u gotta squint real hard), and I think that's all but let me know if I missed anything!

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How you ended up in this strange hotel room in the heart of Shanghai, you couldn't remember. At least not at first.

Initially, all you could remember of the previous night was the flashing lights of the club you'd visited with a few of your girlfriends, downing a few drinks and shots and dancing.

As you started to wake, memories came flooding back. Memories of a tall, handsome stranger joining you at the bar, buying you a few drinks, and asking you to leave with him. The same man who was lying tangled in the sheets next to you in what you assumed was his hotel room.

You groaned as the headache of what was surely the start of a hangover set in and lay there with your eyes closed as you tried to remember exactly what had happened last night.

"You look awfully lonely over here," a voice said suddenly, making you look up from your almost empty drink. A morning star and the only drink you ordered during this stretch of your trip.

Turning your head, you were met by a pair of dark brown eyes belonging to possibly the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on. You stared at him, longer than you intended, before finally speaking.

"Uh, sorry," you murmured, looking back down at the melting ice in your glass. The man smiled, amused by your reaction. "May I?" he asked, placing a hand on the back of the bar chair next to you.

You gestured towards the seat, silently telling him to have it.

He thanked you softly as he took a seat beside you, nodding at the bartender who quickly moved down the bar to take his order.

"I'll have a double whiskey, neat," he said, pulling a card from his wallet. You almost missed the way he turned to glance at you before looking back at the bartender.

"And a refill of whatever she's drinking."

You glanced up as the bartender nodded, taking the man's card to open a tab. You leaned forward to get a look at his face. "You don't have to do that," you said, aware of how annoyed you sound.

"I can pay for my own drinks."

The man smiled, not a smug smile, more of an amused yet kind smile before looking up to meet your gaze. "I'm sure you can but I'm also allowed to spend my money how I want, aren't I?" At this, he tilted his head, that same smile on his lips.

You nodded slowly and watched as he sat up straight, tapping his thumbs on the countertop to a beat only he seemed to be able to hear. After staring at him for a couple minutes, the bartender returned with the drinks, setting a short glass full of amber colored liquor before the man and a fresh glass in front of you.

You thanked the bartender, still staring at the man next to you as he raised his glass to take a sip of his drink. He chuckled to himself as he set his drink down. "You know," he started, turning his head to look you dead in the eye.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to stare?"

You felt the burn of embarrassment as you tore your gaze away, focusing instead on your drink. "Sorry," you murmured.

You took a sip of the fruity concoction, almost sighing as the coconut hit your palate. You were aware the man was still staring at you. 'Oh how the tables have turned.'

"So, do you follow your own advice or just tell others what to do?"

The man laughed, looking down at his drink. "You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized. "Very rude of me. I should practice what I preach." It was your turn to smile, biting back a laugh by taking another sip of your drink.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence interrupted only by the music and deep bass of the club music. "So," you started, finally breaking the silence. "Do you have a name?"

The man smiled, leaning against the bar and turning his head to look at you. "I do," he said with a nod. You waited but he said nothing until he met your gaze.

"Oh, you wanted to know what it is?"

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I figured that would be obvious."

He chuckled again before offering his hand for you to shake. You took it hesitantly, glancing up to meet his gaze once more.

"Tao," he said, the same smile from before back. "You can call me Tao." You shook his hand before introducing yourself. "I'm Y/N."

Tao lifted his glass, taking another sip and setting it back down.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N."

You didn't know what it was about Tao but talking to him seemed like the easiest thing in the world. While your friends were on the dance floor, drunkenly dancing with a few men your group had met a couple nights ago, you found yourself moving to an empty table to talk to Tao, telling him about your 3 month long vacation that was coming to an end.

Not only was he intriguing to listen to but he actually listened to you. He made a point of asking you lots of specific questions about the subjects you brought up.

It was not only refreshing to have someone actually listen to you, it was also incredibly attractive.

You were finishing up your third round of drinks when Tao seemingly made his move. He scooted closer, taking your drink and setting it on the table.

You were vaguely aware he was about to say something but you were distracted by his close proximity and the warmth radiating off his body.

"Look," he said softly. "I don't normally do this but I think you're incredible. Not only are you funny and adventurous but you're insanely gorgeous and I know I'd regret it if I didn't ask you if you'd like to leave with me."

Your heart hammered in your chest as he spoke, eyes darting between his eyes and his lips as he spoke. "If you don't, I won't be mad. I just know I need to shoot my shot before it's too late and-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and pulled back, grinning triumphantly at the look of shock on his face. "I'd love to."

The ride from the club to his hotel was no more than 15 minutes but it felt longer as you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything in you not to straddle him in the back of the taxi.

That would have been embarrassing.

Instead, you were able to keep your composure until you reached his hotel room, waiting patiently as he unlocked the door with his keycard. Once inside, all grace and dignity were tossed aside as Tao grabbed you by the back of your neck, pulling you into a rough kiss.

You'd expected him to be a little timid at first, testing the waters but instead he dove right in. His lips moved against yours with fervor, devouring each moan and whimper as his hands expertly tugged at and removed your clothes, leaving you in your underwear.

Fingers skimmed over your skin as he guided you to the bed, sitting you on the edge before he shrugged his jacket off. Your back hit the mattress as Tao kissed slowly up the inside of your thigh.

Your head spun as he carefully and rather expertly removed your panties with his teeth. To say you were flabbergasted was an understatement. Tao merely smirked, letting the cobalt blue lace fall from his mouth and onto the carpeted floor.

You barely had time to register your lower half was completely bare before you felt his tongue lick a slow strip up your slit, finding your clit with deft precision. The moment he had a taste, his hands held your hips in place as he dug right in, licking, teasing, nipping at the sensitive bud.

Your cheeks burned at the obscene and lewd wet sounds that filled the room, audible only when you weren't moaning Tao's name and whimpering, begging him for more.

Your back arched off the sheets, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin as your orgasm ebbed away for what felt like the third time. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears of frustration as Tao pulled away, chin and lips coated in your essence.

You would have been annoyed had it not been for the fact that Tao was clearly an expert at what he was doing and not only that, he seemed to really enjoy it. If the groans and the way he seemingly lost himself in your taste was anything to go by.

You barely had time to catch your breath before you were being guided to scoot further onto the bed. Somewhere in the time between Tao letting your orgasm slip away to him hovering over you, he'd rid himself of his clothes.

Tattoos you never could have guessed he had covered both his biceps. You didn't have the chance to ask him about them as his lips met yours, tongue slipping past when you moaned, feeling the weight of his cock rest against your wet pussy.

Although you couldn't see it, judging by the weight, you guessed it was about as thick as your wrist, and you would be almost correct.

You whined impatiently as Tao made no effort to move, to enter you properly.

Instead he savored your reactions, trying to move your hips enough to find friction. Your weak attempts to entice him. Though you didn't need to. He was more than willing and able.

Without word or warning, he guided the head of his cock to your sopping entrance and slowly pushed into you. You sucked in a sharp breath, trying not to gasp as the girth slowly stretched your walls, threatening to split you open.

"Oh fuck," you whined. You felt one of Tao's hands grab the back of your thigh, pushing your leg against your stomach and allowing him to sink deeper, faster. You'd never felt anything so deep before.

You let out a shaky moan as he bottomed out and only then did he say anything. "Holy shit. You're so fucking tight," he groaned, head dropping as he lost himself in the feeling of your warm walls enveloping him.

"Tao please," you whined. You didn't have another chance to speak as he complied to your unasked request, pulling out partly and snapping his hips forward. You let out a mix between a gasp and a yelp, surprised by the sheer force.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he almost cooed. "You okay, baby"

The nickname had you melting under him with a moan.

"Y-yes," you whimpered.

Satisfied he hadn't hurt you, Tao set a steady pace, one hand keeping your thigh in place while the other disappeared under the pillow under your head, using his forearm to keep himself from collapsing onto you.

"Fuck, you feel so goddamn good," you heard him groan, hips slamming into you repeatedly, punctuating his next sentence.

"So. Fucking. Good."

Each thrust had you seeing stars, incoherent moans of his name and curses tumbling from your lips as your mind tried to keep up but the only thought occupying your brain was how good his cock felt and how big it was.

"So big," you managed to whimper. Tao chuckled lightly, breath fanning over your cheek as he lowered himself closer to whisper in your ear. "Yeah? You like how my big cock feels in your tight little pussy?"

If you weren't an incoherent mess before, you certainly were now.

"You like how it feels? You like being stuffed full?"

You nodded quickly, unable to answer him. "Oh, such a good little girl, aren't you?" You cried out as he gave you a particularly harsh thrust.

"Taking all of it, just like good girls do," he continued, not missing the way your cunt convulsed around his cock. You were so easy for him to read. Like an open book.

Letting go of your thigh, his hand moved, fingers closing around your throat lightly. The simple action had your already cloudy brain emptying completely as you let yourself succumb to the first wave of your orgasm.

An intense pleasure, unlike any you'd ever felt before crashed over you, stars blinding your vision, heat spreading from your core throughout your body and down into your fingers and toes as they curled in pure ecstasy. Wanton moans and a slew of curses left your lips, Tao's name thrown into the mix.

Unaware Tao was watching you with a deep fascination, you let out a desperate whine, thighs encasing his waist as he helped you ride out your high. "That's it sweetheart," he all but whispered, his pace not slowing for a second.

"That's my good girl."

Your heart pounded in your chest, stomach doing flips at his subtle praise. "You're doing so well," you heard him say, his voice sounding so distant. Like he was far away.

As the aftershocks of your climax subsided and you started to focus on your surroundings, you felt Tao's hand on your neck move, gently cupping your cheek, thumb stroking your skin. "Hey," he whispered. You blinked a couple times as his face came into focus.

"There you are," he said with a chuckle. "Lost you for a second."

"W-what happened?"

"You must have passed out," he answered, looking mildly concerned. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, blinking as you looked around. "How long was I out?"

"Not long," he replied. "A good ten seconds though." At this, he smirked, looking particularly smug. "What?" you whined.

"Dick so good it'll make you pass out?" he asked. "Maybe I should add that to my portfolio." You rolled your eyes, ignoring his snickers. You tried to sit up but realized you weren't quite done.

"Are you still inside me?" you asked incredulously, making Tao laugh again. "You were only out for ten seconds at most, sugar," he answered. "Do you want to stop?" he asked, suddenly serious.

You shook your head quickly. Tao leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "Then lay back down," he ordered. You did as he instructed, whimpering once as he gave you a couple of cautious thrusts before throwing himself back into it.

"Ah, shit!" you cursed, grabbing his forearm, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao took your chin firmly in his hand, leaning over you. "Open," he instructed. You hesitated, unsure of what he was going to do. "Open your mouth."

You did as he demanded, parting your lips. Tao leaned over further, spitting into your mouth before taking you into a searing kiss. Your walls clenched around him as your second climax approached rapidly.

Another deep thrust had you tumbling over the edge as you came a second time, a cry of Tao's name leaving your mouth.

As he helped you ride out your second orgasm, Tao's hips stuttered, his own orgasm impending. "Oh fuck," he groaned. "M'gonna cum."

"Do it," you mewled. "Cum inside me." Tao let out a breathy laugh. "Is that what you want, princess? Want me to cum inside this pretty little pussy and make it mine?"

You moaned in response, back arching of the bed.

"Is that what you want, baby?"

You weren't sure what drove you to say it but your response had an immediately profound reaction on him.

"Y-yes daddy!"

Tao dropped his head again, letting out an almost animalistic growl as his hips rammed against yours, pounding into you with renewed vigor. Each thrust had you nearly screaming.

Not wanting to risk complaining neighbors, Tao covered your mouth, muffling your cries. "Almost there, baby girl, almost there."

He offered hushed words of encouragement until the fluttering of your walls around his cock pushed Tao over the edge and he came with a low, husky moan, riding out his orgasm until his hips finally came to a halt as he stilled inside your cunt that was now full of not only his cock but also his cum.

Coming down from your respective highs, Tao was finally able to pull out of you and fall onto the bed beside you. You were well aware of his release spilling out of your abused hole but were far too tired to do anything about it.

Tao however did not hesitate to get up, grabbing his boxers from the floor as he disappeared into the bathroom only to return moments later with a wet warm washcloth. You started to drift off as he carefully wiped your skin clean until you felt him get off the bed and pad away.

Moments later, you felt the bed dip as he returned. The sheets rustled as he untucked them, pulling them back and carefully helping you under them.

The last thing you remembered was him turning the bedside lamp off before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close and then it all went black.

Sitting up in a now illuminated hotel room, you were able to catch a glimpse of Tao, sleeping peacefully beside you. His hair was tousled, face half buried into his pillow. The covers were bunched up about halfway down his back, allowing you to see the tattoos that covered his biceps again in the light.

Deciding the best course of action was to gather your things, you slowly untangled yourself from the sheets and was about to scoot to the edge of the bed when a voice rang out. Albeit, a very sleepy one.

"Just where do you think you're going, little one?"

You turned to find Tao was not asleep and was now looking at you with his only visible eye. You knew you'd been busted but decided to play it off. "I thought I'd take a shower," you answered.

Tao raised his head to look at you properly. "Really?"

You nodded, looking down at him. He shrugged and rolled onto his back, reaching to grab his phone and check the time. "I'll call for breakfast," he announced as you got up from the bed and hurried into the bathroom.

Deciding a shower might actually be a good idea, you did just that, standing under the scalding water as you shampooed and conditioned your hair, scrubbed your body and washed away the remnants of last night's makeup.

Once you finished and got out, you were checking your appearance in the bathroom mirror when the door opened and Tao poked his head in. "Breakfast is here," he said before he opened the door further. "And I got you this."

In his hand he held a fluffy white robe. You took it, thanking him and he shut the door behind him, leaving you to change out of the towel and into the robe to save your dignity.

In the room, he'd already donned some sweatpants and a plain black tee and was looking over the food that had been delivered.

You hadn't gotten a good look at the room the previous night but could now make out that it was a king suite with an incredible view of downtown Shanghai. You were probably on the 30th floor at least. Tao had just finished setting the small table by the window when you entered the room.

He glanced up and gave you a grin. "I wasn't sure what you like so I got a bit of everything," he explained as you walked over.

"That's really nice of you. Thank you." You moved to sit across from him and quickly helped you with your chair. "It's the least I could do." He gave you another smile as he sat across from you. The two of you ate in relative silence until you came to your senses.

"Oh my god," you exclaimed, making Tao jump in surprise at your sudden outburst. "My friends are gonna kill me!" Tao swallowed his food before speaking. "Hey, calm down it's okay-"

"No it's not! They have no idea where I am! Or if I'm even alive!"

You got up quickly and started to search around the room. Tao watched from his seat at the table. "What are you looking for?" he asked. "My phone!" you exclaimed as you continued to search.

"It's plugged in on your side of the bed, will you please come back to breakfast?"

Tao didn't sound annoyed, just reassuring you that it was all okay.

"I need to call them."

Tao swallowed another bite of food before responding. "They already called."

You rounded on him. "What?"

He nodded, assuring you it was the truth. "They called earlier. I answered and let them know you were perfectly safe and sound and that you were sleeping," he explained. "I sent them a photo of you asleep, sorry for that, and then explained where we were and what happened."

Your heart sank. "Did you tell them… everything?"

Tao smiled again, getting up and crossing the room to your side. "No, not everything. Just the basics. I'm sure they filled in the blanks themselves," he said as he gently took your phone from your hands and set it back down before taking your hand and leading you back to the table.

The two of you continued to eat until Tao spoke up.

"I know this might be a little forward," he started, capturing your attention. "But I was wondering if you might indulge me."

You set your utensils down, offering him your undivided attention.

"I told you last night that I don't normally hook up with anyone. At least, not someone I met in a nightclub," he continued, glancing up at you and meeting your gaze. "But you? You're different."

You tilted your head to the side, giving him a puzzled look.

"Different how?"

Tao leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm as he studied you.

"You're so different from anyone I've ever talked to. I've never met someone like you," he answered. "I was wondering," he hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I was hoping that you might consider staying in Shanghai for just a bit longer."

Your eyes widened as the implications of his words set in.

'Stay in Shanghai?'

"I'm not sure I could afford that," you said softly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao's smile didn't diminish. "You wouldn't have to spend anything," he replied. "I was thinking you could keep me company."

"K-keep you company?" Now you were properly confused. Tao nodded. "Yeah. You know how in Pretty Woman, the guy asks her to spend the week with him and pays her a lot of money to pretend to be his girlfriend while he's on business?"

You nodded slowly. "Well, the only differences are that I'm not paying you to sleep with me or be my girlfriend," he explained so nonchalantly. "I just want to spend some time with you. If you aren't comfortable sharing a hotel room with me, I can put you up in your own room."

You looked at his face, looking for any sign of deceit or dishonesty but found only curiosity looking back at you. "Can I think about it?" you finally asked.

Tao smiled and got up, crossing around the table to where you sat. He combed his fingers through your hair before gently taking your chin in his hand, tilting your head back to look up.

"I'm going to take a shower. So think about it while I'm gone. If you want to stay, I'll send someone to pick up your belongings from wherever you're staying. If not, I'll take you back myself."

Before you had a chance to respond, Tao pressed a short kiss to your lips and quickly crossed the suite to the bathroom.

While he was gone, you cleaned up the table and returned to the bed, flipping on the television set while the shower turned on. You scrolled through the channels, finally settling on some soap opera. While watching, you went through your phone and saw that Tao had indeed explained through text to your friends where you were as well as including a picture and a short clip of you sleeping.

You decided to check in with your friends, to let them know you were alright. Their responses ranged from angry to relieved.

Bai🪷: omg I'm so glad ur okay 😭

Gwen🕷🕸: omg ur so stupid Y/N! How could you leave with some strange man!?

You: correct me if I'm wrong but did you leave with a strange man in Taiwan? 🤔

Gwen🕷🕸: yeah and he was a total weirdo! Have we learned nothing?!

Bai🪷: only that ur taste in men is trash. Next

You: thank you Bai!

Gwen🕷🕸: I'm being attacked help

Bai🪷: drama queen 🙄

Gwen🕷🕸: hey! U take that back

You: ANYWAY. I'm fine. Tao is not some weirdo. He's staying in this really fancy hotel. We're on like the 30th floor in some penthouse suite or some shit. it's really boujie

Bai🪷: y/n always finds the rich ones 😔

Gwen🕷🕸: did someone say sugar daddy??? 👀🤑

You: I'll pretend I didn't see that

Bai🪷: so when r u coming back?

You: uh… that's the thing.

Gwen🕷🕸: oh no. No. Not doing this. Get back here missy. We have to leave in three days!

Bai🪷: let her speak Gwen

You: thanks Bai

You: anyway. He's asked me to stay with him for a bit.

Bai🪷: whoa seriously?

You: yeah! He's even offered to put me up in a second room

You: he said he wants to spend some time with me

You heard the shower cut off and the curtain rustle as Tao no doubt got out of the shower. Going back to your messages you read the latest in the thread.

Gwen🕷🕸: does anyone else not see the serial killer potential here?

Bai🪷: no. Just u You: no only u

Gwen🕷🕸: boo. democracy sux

Bai🪷: so do you think you're gonna do it?

Bai🪷: wait a sec. First of all, do you even want to?

You: I think so. I wouldn't say no to more time in Shanghai

You: idk should I do it?

Gwen🕷🕸: I vote no.

Bai🪷: I vote yes!

Gwen🕷🕸: of course you would 😒

Bai🪷: and exactly what does THAT mean miss I'm-going-to-this-strange-man-I-met-in-Taiwan's house without anyone else around?

Gwen🕷🕸: stop making me look bad! I still vote no!

Bai🪷: and I still vote yes

Gwen🕷🕸: 😡

Bai🪷: so it looks like the final decisions up to you, y/n

Before you could respond, the bathroom door opened and Tao appeared in the same clothes he'd worn into the bathroom. He had a towel in his hand and was currently drying his hair. He made eye contact with you as you set your phone on the bedside table and smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I think drying my hair is my least favorite part of showering," he said with a chuckle. You smiled in return and waited for him to speak.

"So, have you had time to think about my offer?"

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you studied Tao's body language. He nodded carefully before looking back up, meeting your gaze.

"So, what's your answer going to be?"

#ztao scenarios #ztao imagines #ztao fanfiction #ztao fanfic #ztao smut #ztao x reader #tao scenarios #tao imagines #tao fanfiction #tao fanfic #tao smut #tao x reader #exo scenarios #exo imagines #exo smut #exo x reader #exo ot11

[ofliterarynature]

FEBRUARY 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) book club*]

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years • The Memory Librarian • Pixels of You* • Arch-Enemies • Moby Dyke • Pip Bartlett’s Guide to Magical Creatures • A Sinister Revenge • Lud in the Mist • Crying in H Mart • Something Close to Magic • Hula • (Renegades) • The Divorce Colony • Foundryside • Earthlings • A Far Wilder Magic

total: 13 books (12 audiobook, 1 print)

Not as many books this month! And not just because February has fewer days, I was really in a funk this month and struggling to pay attention to my audiobooks (and enjoy them). You wouldn't think there's such a thing as too many books, but I think the overtime hours at work are hitting their peak mental health destruction. Here's to hoping things improve in March!

The Divorce Colony (4.5 stars) - genuinely can't believe this was my 3rd nonfic of the year already! I picked a print copy of this up at a library sale in December after hearing about divorce colonies in the early 20th century on a recent episode of the 99% Invisible podcast. Turns out this book was actually about the beginning of the moment that took place in Sioux Falls, South Dakota in the 1800's. Western states had shorter residency periods and less strict divorce laws, so women (and the occasional man) would travel west and live there for several months in order to obtain a divorce. This book tracks the movement through the stories of 4 of the more infamous cases to make the papers, and does an incredible job of weaving in the surrounding political and religious discussions. Would recommend, and has a great cover to boot!

Renegades (3 stars) - a reread, and for some reason it was torture. I originally read this back in 2018 and loved it, and wanted to tackle it again and actually finish the rest of the series. But I kept getting worked up and frustrated this time around! It kept trying to take itself seriously while also being very YA and kind of superhero-camp, and I was absolutely overthinking it lol. I found the strength to press on into book two, Archenemies (3.5 stars). I liked it a bit more! Something about it being new, the story being a bit more settled and maybe getting a better grasp on its message/politics, the characters growing more, me figuring out that I shouldn't listen to the audiobook for more than an hour or so at a time, lmao. Not great, but fun, and possibly worth reading? I'll keep y'all updated when I finish book 3.

Hula (5 stars) - incredible. Part generational family story, part history, part discussion of what it means to be Hawaiian, culturally and legally. Not always the easiest of reads, but it was so so worth it. It was also doing something very interesting with parts of the narration voiced by a collective "we" (culture/community?) that I would love to get a look at in print. Highly recommend, I'll definitely be getting myself a copy.

Something Close to Magic (4.5 stars) - an absolute delight! The Gail Carson Levine comp on this one is not entirely unearned, anyone who's a fan of fairy tale type fantasies will enjoy this, I had a great time! Very interestingly, it has characters who are in their mid to late teens, but is written in a way where they're still allowed to be young, to the point I'm surprised it didn't get shoehorned into MG instead of YA. If the author writes any more of these I'd be happy to read them.

Crying in H Mart (3.5 stars) - nonfic number 4! I'm sure everyone's heard of this one by now, which is why I finally picked it up. It's fine (which is why it got an extra .5 star), but on the scale of take it or leave it, I'd leave it. It just wasn't for me and I kind of wish I'd dnf'd it. A great cover though.

Lud-in-the-Mist (3.5 stars) - this one seems to be considered a sort of early precursor to fantasy and fairy tale type stories from the early 20th century, and I was eager to try it! While I definitely don't think it would feel out of place amongst it's more recent fellows (think the Last Unicorn, Robin McKinley, DWJ, etc), I absolutely could not get into it. Probably the chief recipient of "my brain doesn't want to cooperate, sorry," so maybe I'll give it another shot someday.

A Sinister Revenge (4 stars) - enjoyable as always! Not to hide this deep in my reviews or anything, but have the Emily Wilde people tried Veronica Speedwell yet?

Pip Bartlett's Guide to Magical Creatures (3 stars) - This one's been sitting unread on my shelf for a while, and since I was on a bit of a Maggie Stiefvater run, I figured it was perfect! Well. Unless you are like 7, this was so bad. Not good. Having previously read and not liked a book by Maggie's co-author Jackson Pearce, I think it would not be unreasonable for me to assume she did most of the writing while Maggie did the illustrations - if the audiobook had been any longer than 4 hours I'd have absolutely DNF'd it, and I have no intention of continuing the series.

Moby Dyke: An Obsessive Quest to Track Down the Last Remaining Lesbian Bars in the Country (4.5 stars) - part of me was wondering what I was doing trying this lol, not being someone who drinks or goes to bars, OR, as previously mentioned, is not the biggest fan of memoirs. It was not, as I hoped, also part research project, but it is a travelogue, and as a consequence has a strong narrative thread. It also has a lot of discussions about issues in the LGBTQ+ community, and overall I really liked it once I figured out what it was doing!

Pixels of You (3.5 stars) - a very short sapphic rivals-to friends-to lovers graphic novel about a human-form AI and a human with an android eye competing for a photography internship at an art gallery. The creators clearly put SO much thought into their characters and worldbuilding, but sadly there is nowhere near enough length here to do it all justice, and a number of elements felt very odd or under explored. The relationship parts are great! I just think this needed to be twice as long to really given everything its due, or maybe explored in prose instead.

The Memory Librarian (3.5 stars) - to start, I know nothing about the musical album this is related to, so I don't know how much that might have affected my reading. Overall I wasn't super impressed - when I discovered that the first story was cowritten by Alaya Dawn Johnson - no shade to her - I almost dropped it then, I just really didn't like her writing style in the one book I've read. But I stuck through it. Of the five stories, only one really stuck in my mind - Nevermind, cowritten by Danny Lore, which I could have read an entire novel about. I wish I could recommend it on its own, but overall I just don't quite understand the world Monae has created.

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years (3.5 stars) - I probably should say more about the book, it was fine, I was surprised to find that it's set in relatively current day, I found myself a lot more interested in the second narrative about the house's history, which did make me cry a bit. Mostly though, I really just want to let you know how MUCH of a non-entity the djinn was in this story, I have no idea why it was there and why it was included in the title of the book. All the author had to do was make the house a little more sentient and haunted and it would be fine, idk. Read it if you want, but it's not one I would rec.

DNF'S

Foundryside - I was so ready. I had the first two audiobooks checked out, I had the third one on hold. I started this but oh, the writing. bleh. I was looking thought reviews and someone referred to it as something like "21st century internet speak." In a high fantasy novel. I noped out at just 10%.

Earthlings - I've considered the author's other book before but haven't read it, but thought maybe a sci-fic book would work better for me? The beginning was odd but not uninteresting, and I might have continued if it had stayed that way. But then the main character was in school(?) and her teacher started getting handsy after class and I wasn't invested enough to stick it out.

A Far Wilder Magic - the success of Something Close to Magic made me a little too hopeful I think, bc while I'm still a little leery around YA, I know people have liked this. And it sounded interesting, truly, and I love the cover. But first it was the religion stuff. And I didn't really like the characters. Then it's like, oh, this is the same plot as The Scorpio Races, but nowhere near it's quality in any shape or form. I decided to stop while I was ahead, before I started to actually dislike it. (anyway here's your PSA to go read The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater, I recommend doing it in October if you can).

#bec posts #book log #wrap up 2024 #books #booklr #book review #the divorce colony #april white #renegades #marissa meyer #hula #jasmine iolani hakes #something close to magic #crying in h mart #lud in the mist #veronica speedwell #pip bartlett #maggie stiefvater #moby dyke #pixels of you #the memory librarian #the djin waits a hundred years

[acegiak]

Ok but the thing about The Matrix, though, is that when it was released we all knew it was a fuckin Gospel allegory, like it was so obvious as to be on the nose. And like yeah basically any heroes journey can be interpreted as the gospel but for real: Neo is The One(it's an anagram lol), who was prophesied, Trinity/The Holy Spirit leads him to Morpheus/John The Baptist who baptises/frees him (the imagery of the mirror like liquid covering and entering neo and then his emergence from the pod is absolutely a baptism) and then Morpheus/John declares him to be The One that was prophesied. This frees him from his identity as Thomas Anderson (Thomas because he was doubting, Anderson because Son Of Man is mortal also flawed) and allowing him to become Neo, who will lead everyone from the flawed world into the world of the truth(kingdom of God). First thing after this revelation he has to go be weak for a while but then gains a bunch of disciples and learns how to do miracles and then Cypher/Judas betrays everyone for earthly pleasures which lead to a confrontation where Agent Smith(Satan, obvs but also his numberplate in the second film is IS5416 for Isiah 54:16) defeats Neo and he dies but then is resurrected because of his connection to Trinity/The Holy Spirit (seriously TRINITY??) which defeats Smith/Satan and empowers Neo/Jesus to spread the truth to everyone in the whole world moving forward.

But ALSO it's clearly, in hindsight, a trans allegory, again so clearly as to be on the nose. The first thing on screen is "call trans opt: received". Neo is obviously miserable with his life and place in society and knows something is up but doesn't know what, has been experimenting with an alternate identity online. Gets an invitation to go to a club and encounters alternative people and one confirms that something IS up. The forces of the system and his own doubt (Thomas) try to keep Neo in his current role, ignorance and the closet, using the name Mr Anderson (mister son of man) repeatedly in a torture scene where he doesn't have access to words to speak his truth. A direct encounter with someone who has already been down the path and now lives in their own truth, and offers the opportunity to discover ones own truth by taking a red pill (the color of premarin pills, a common estrogen HRT medication). Neo then undergoes a physical transformation from the pill and must then relearn how to exist but in doing so becomes more powerful than ever. In this new form Neo still has to battle against the old world and its systems which have become more violent and still continue to try to cast Neo back into the identity of Mr Anderson but it is self confidence in the the truth that enables Neo to be victorious. Also being trans gives you could kungfu super powers.

SO

You know where I'm going.

TRANSitive property of allegory...

Is the Gospel a trans allegory?

Jesus Of Nazareth is born with an innate identity that is hidden for years by his parents for fear of government persecution but there are signs of this true identity all throughout childhood. When Jesus meets someone with access to the truth he becomes fully aware of the truth of his own identity. He then has to go endure a period of suffering and temptation to abandon the path of truth, but eventually emerges enlightened as his true self. That true self is then a symbol that inherently reveals the falsehoods of the social constructs underpinning the society around him and those who rely on those constructs to hold power and status over others become enraged by this undermining and weaponise the tools of the state against the body of the transgressive person.

I'm not saying that Jesus was trans, of course. I'm saying the story of Jesus is actually an allegorical myth to reveal that trans people and trans bodies are holy and sacred and should be honored for the truth they reveal to us.

#the matrix #gospel #bible #trans #transgender

[venumelon]

˗ˏˋ please read the below before interacting with my works ! ´ˎ˗

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ about me

hi! my names melon!

i’m an avid manga/manhwa reader and i enjoy a multitude of fandoms and shows <3

i’m a trans man that uses he/him pronouns

NOTIXE : I’m restarting my blog bc i messed up so if you saw a dupe of this acc just ignore it lol

.ೃ࿐ dni

if you are fem aligned! as much as i love my girlies you have plenty to read on this app <3 you are more than welcome to my gn! reader works tho! just no m. reader please

you are under the age of 16! i just feel extremely uncomfortable with knowing young teens can read my works so please respect my wishes. as i sometimes write some pretty snuff like stories.

if you're racist, homophobic, fetisher, pedo etc - pretty much the normal dni type of stuff.

i do check blogs and if you don't have your age indicated or you have a weird gross vibe i will block you

.ೃ࿐ who can interact / please interact if :

male aligned / no / gender fluidreaders

anyone the age of 16

manga/manhwa readers pls my inbox is open send me a message if you want a chat!!

mlbb players

nanami kento lovers

ೃ࿐ how my content works

i sometimes write some pretty dark themes (nsfw) i’m not a huge fan of smut but i can write it if i feel like it !

i will write what the title is, what theme it is and a short content and trigger warning! if i do miss any cw/tw’s please dm me only so i can add it

im still figuring out how this app works so requests are open! they just might take a few days more than normal.

if you don’t like my content please just scroll instead of sending hate

.ೃ࿐ what i can write

as previously mentioned i can write some dark themes - so a mixture of sfw and nsfw

kinks : masochism, sadism, bondage, bdsm, exhibitionism, dirty talk, impact play, orgasm control, praise/degradation, breeding, blindfold, breath play, humiliation, voyeurism

i will not write : large age differences, step-cest, incest, beastiality and f! readers

i’ll write : dom/sub m!/ftm!/nb! reader, dilf! reader/character, service top/bottom/dom/sub, m! preg, drugging, threesomes, pegging, anal/oral, face fucking/sitting, corruption, manipulation, mutilation, kidnapping, gaslighting, blackmailing, murder, self harm, suicidal themes, cheating (only if it’s the character not the reader), cannibalism, torture, yandere, non-con/r

ೃ࿐ fandoms i write for

anime : jujutsu kaisen, chainsaw man, overlord, code geass, that time i got reincarnated as a slime, death note, tokyo ghoul, rising of the shield hero, castlevania, black butler

manga/manhwa : solo levelling, lookism, noblesse

games : genshin impact, resident evil, fnaf, fear and hunger, mobile legends: bang bang, call of duty

movies/shows : lord of the rings, fight club, avatar

etc :

.ೃ࿐ masterlist !

: ╰┈➤ jjk

nanami kento x gn! reader - short fluff

ೃ࿐ upcoming works :

: ╰┈➤ domestic househusband nanami kento

: ╰┈➤ childe (tartaglia) with an obsessive fatui harbinger

: ╰┈➤ star struck denji meeting a devil hunter who can wield the void

#male reader #nanami kento #top male reader #masterlist #dom male reader

[swifterthancivility]

I feel bad for Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal in all this, lol. Also, am I the only one who doesn't think "The Tortured Poets Department" is that close to "tortured man club"? Like, no, tortured isn't that common of a word, but it's not uncommon either. It feels likely that "tortured poet" was an accusation thrown at Taylor. I mean, she's a big fan of tortured poets. She makes poetic references all the time. She is a tortured poet by all accounts. I feel like if she had named the album "library" people could've found a clip of Joe saying he went to the library once. Or if she'd named it something else people would've found a clip of joe mentioning it.

I mean, of course, there will be stuff about Joe on the album. But, this doesn't feel intentional to me. I mean, if she wanted to make an intentional dig, wouldn't she call it "the tortured poets club"? I wonder if the titular song was a reference to the honorary degree she got. I can definitely see her writing a song about what things would be like if she'd had a normal life and gone to college.

Idk am I crazy?

#ttpd #taylor swift

[hrryshoney]

JA and PM old groupchat name being The Tortured Man’s club. lol. oh.

#tea talks🧋 #can u guys tell who the abbreviations are😁

[mermaidsirennikita]

I saw your ranking of Kresley Cole's IAD women. Do you have a favorite male character?

Yeah, I have a few. I mean, it's cliche to say this because he's like... an obvious fan favorite... But if I was really being honest, Lothaire is likely my favorite. I mean, I think he's the most developed character in the series (and once Nix gets her book, God willing, maybe she'll junior or exceed him). But he's also just so funny, and so insane, and unfortunately, very hot. How can I not love a dude who, when his pseudo-girlfriend (at the time) gets mad at him for mercilessly beheading a bunch of shifters, says it's "not like I'm going around cockslapping gnomes"? How can you expect me to not love someone who describes skull-fucking randoms as his "mischievous youth"???

And while I do think his romance is INCREDIBLE and part of why I love Lothaire is that he loves Ellie so much and I also love Ellie so much... I mean. He's one of the best parts of Dreams of a Dark Warrior, an UNDERRATED CLASSIC. He gets tortured by Declan Chase and talks about how long it took someone to cut his dick off with whip lashes once, because it's sooooo big (and since regenerated). He kicks Thad off a cliff and then Thad becomes HIS ONLY FRIEND LMAO. He wears a Panama hat??? Like Stede in that episode of Our Flag Means Death??? He blackmails Declan Chase, a man who hates all monsters, into letting him tap his blood on demand and GETS A BONER WHILE DOING IT (bi Lothaire confirmed). Regin screams to Declan about how Lothaire drinking Declan's blood means he now has Declan's memories of Declan and Regin fucking, and he walks up like "Oh nO WORRIES, I have already WATCHED YOU TWO FUCK A MILLION TIMES IN REAL LIFE LIKE A CREEP". The entire WEIRD boy's club scene where Lothaire gives Declan advice about negging Regin into forgiving him and everyone goes "Oh shit, that's great advice actually" and iT WORKS.

(And then later he gives Trehan advice about Bettina... and it works. And he gives Munro advice about Kereny... and it works. The point is that Lothaire can not do his own relationship to save his life which is why he literally lets his lungs explode in order to win Ellie's favor back, he doesn't even know how to get Ellie to forgive him without near-death.)

But I mean. There are so many heroes I love in that series, just like I love so many heroines. Like I said, I haven't given an IAD book less than 4 stars. They really work for me.

Other standout heroes for me would be like... Garreth MacRieve who I think is probably one of the best boyfriends? Of the series? Like, does he hunt Lucia across the world for a year while she's desperately trying to evade him? Sure. Does he sorta try to seduce her into breaking her supernatural vow of chastity? Yes, he does. Does e not care about her god-given mission at all because women shouldn't have to have jobs? Yeah, and maybe HE WAS RIGHT. But he's also soooo sexy, and sooooo wolfy and sooooo loyal and sooooo romantic. The butterfly he named after her! Garreth SMELLING Lucia masturbating and having a freakout because he's in a cage and she's upstairs and SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GET HERSELF OFF NO SHE IS PRINCESS! Him holding his werewolfitude back as long as possible until he's like "fuck it I can't deal" and runs howling through the jungle for her??? The ENTIRE VALKYRIE PLOT OF "OH WE'LL JUST HAVE LUCIA FEEL PAIN ON PURPOSE SO THE WOLF GUY COMES TO SAVE HER"??? "She was born to be found by me"??? "Werewolves are natural investigators" lOL I CAN'T. Child-free by choice, but would have Garreth MacRieve's 7 werewolf children.

Conrad Wroth, who I think is just like.... a ragged open wound of insanity and romantic longing and pent up sexual energy... Like, Conrad has one of theeee hottest biting scenes in the series, imo. And also, just the sad hilarity of him swearing his chastity to a cult of vampire hunters, then getting forcibly turned into a vampire by his brothers and doomed to centuries of virginity??? And then he does meet his Bride and she's a GHOST??? *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays*

Rydstrom Woede is.... really hot... I love a morally upright man driven to horrible crimes. The minute Rydstrom THE GOOD BROTHER showed up in Cade's book, shirtless, tired, scratches all over his chest, with a woman screaming in the background like "HELP!!!" while he goes "don't. ask." I was gone. Then he turned out to be a legit DADDY who's into spanking and punishing Sabine and he feels gross and weird about it? Please. Theeeeen his first real smile in his own book is when she flips him off? PLEEEEEEEASE.

And of course, Uilleam "Will" MacRieve, "MacRieve", The MacRieve, of the novel titled MacRieve. I mean, listen, he's hot. He has such rough animalistic sex CONSISTENTLY that they call him Bucket List. But he's soooo sad. And don't get me wrong, he does some fucked up shit and I won't deny it. But his backstory. Made me cry lol. His entire journey. Made me cry. Him on his knees crying into Chloe's stomach because he wants to be better and heal for her but he can't??? Made me cry. His journey isn't for everyone, but I found it gorgeous. And also, did I laugh so much when they were like "well MacRieve, your woman needs sex healing, and we can't trust you to do it, so I don't know man maybe she needs to be double-teamed by some incubi" and he literally flinched because his inner werewolf instinct went SCREAMING at him??? Yes I did. He had no thoughts for like a solid five minutes. Just static.

... so those are my top 5... I also very much love all the other Wroth brothers (my 1D), Lachlain MacRieve (crazy werewolf king turned "Mature Dad Friend"), Bowen MacRieve (the original fuckboy/BEAST FAMILIAR), Trehan Daciano ("babe look I got you this bag of... severed heads... oh.... that wasn't...... the request..."), Rune Darklight (cue the TWO STANDING OVATIONS HE GOT FROM BITCHES HE'D FUCKED LMAO), and uh......... Declan Chase (..... I won't be defending this choice). And THAD, even though Thad isn't a hero. YET!

#romance novel blogging #immortals after dark #here have a novel #and even the ones who aren't my favorites like.... i don't think i hate anyone? #my favorite things about the wroth brothers as a quartet is how you can sum them up tho #'5 year boner; winner of the amazing race on cbs; fucked a ghost; icicle dildo'

[lone-nyctophile]

So I really like this guy. I’m practically in love with him. I’ve.. eased into the idea of loving him. We didn’t really talk at all until we were in a sort of drama club together for a month. And we’d see each other at practice everyday and we’d make eye contact but I didn’t really ever initiate conversation, coz he made me nervous. He made everyone nervous in a way, he had that intimidating look to him and his eyes.. they had this bored gleam to them. No sparks, no light. But god did I make the mistake of describing them that way. During our drama club practices, he always sat off to the side and did nothing but watch us. Id wondered why he was there if that was the case and then realised he’d played the keyboard. He was the one giving us the background music for our act. And eventually, I saw the spark return to his eyes, as if they’d never left. He was in love with music, and god was that man talented. And I.. I had the main role and everytime id have a crying scene, it was in sync with him playing a certain tune, and we’d make eye contact everytime.

Soon after the day of the performance came and we were all up and ready at the campus where we were supposed to perform, and he was there with the rest of the members, and he was leaning against the railing of the top floor when I reached there. When I saw them the guys told me to keep my bags aside and then he (let’s call him R) suggested we’d walk around the campus. Now get this, the campus was HUGE. And I was wearing heels coz I’d rushed there after a violin recital. This was a bad idea in itself. The guys groaned and looked at me as if I was gonna save them from his torture lol. I shrugged as if it didn’t affect me and him, me and another guy walked downstairs to the next building when the other guy ditched us coz he saw a cat.

I. Got. Nervous. Big time. And he started speeding up coz he’s a head taller than me even if I’m in heels. And I kept jogging behind him. We’d eased into a comfortable silence. And then he saw his choir club friends and he started talking to them and I thought “I shouldn’t be here” so I told him to go on with them but he refused saying he’d still walk with me and I just- god I just melted.

After that day, it was just mere eye contact during the lunch breaks at school and just- goodness gracious I’m so into him and I keep sneaking glances right when he does. I dunno if he likes me

Thoughts? I’m sorry for the huge rant lmfao. I needed to get this outta my system and I really need to move on from him.

Heyy. Sorry for the late reply.

Wow. This sounds like a story most of us dream about! You guys have some awesome chemistry and yes there is a HUGE chance that your relationship with him can progress into something more beautiful. For that to happen, I think you should start talking to him on a regular basis to know each other better. I would suggest you to make the first move... have a friendly conversation with him.

I hope things go well between you two and tbh this makes me believe that fairytales can exist in real life!

[elliebartlets]

my initial and subsequent thoughts on the ttpd songs.

warning: this is not eloquently worded. I was also high while listening to some of them

fortnight

* “I was a functioning alcoholic until no one noticed my new aesthetic” ??? What the hell does that even mean??

* I don’t mind the beat/flow of the song but at the same time it’s kinda boring.

* on first listen I didn’t mind it, I think it’d be a grower or just like a nice background song

later thoughts:

* It’s fine but I still don’t get the appeal of it

the tortured poets department

* It’s alright? I don’t like some of the lyrics (“I scratch your head and you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever”) again, what lmao or the name dropping of people (Charlie Puth, Lucy, Jack)

later thoughts:

* I like some parts of this song but other parts I really don’t.

* I also think it could be cut by like a minute

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

* I honestly don’t know how I feel about this one? I don’t love it, I don’t hate it, I don’t have any strong opinions on this one. it’s just there. I think it could be a grower?

later thoughts:

* it grew on me, but still not my favorite.

down bad:

* this one’s ok. I don’t mind it but again, I think it could be a grower

* I think my problem so far with these songs is that they feel more like background songs to me. songs I can easily zone out to. and that’s fine in some situations, but I want a song that grabs my attention and stays there.

later thoughts:

* still feel pretty much the same. Its fine but not my favorite

so long, london:

* not bad. I think I can appreciate it objectively, and know this is probably gonna be a favorite by a lot of people, but for me it’ll probably be just a song that’s there and if it’s on it’s on but I won’t seek it out.

but daddy I love him:

* ok apparently a lot of people rank this one very low (I’m guessing it’s because it’s about Matty Healy?) but I don’t mind it??

fresh out the slammer:

* *I’m now listening to this album high*

* can’t remember how it went but I didn’t mind it! it was kinda catchy

later thoughts

* one of my favorites

Florida!!!

* “my friends all smell like weed or little babies” Taylor again, what the fuck??

* hearing Florence and Taylor on a song is wild lol

later thoughts:

* not sure what this song is about or how I feel about it but I like Florence’s part

guilty as sin?

* I like this one

* A lot

* idk if it cause I’m high or am I getting kinda country vibes? like “older taylor” sound?

* I’m liking this one

later thoughts:

* probably my favorite on the album!!

who’s afraid of little old me?

* I’m getting little red riding hood vibes from the title??? I think it’s because it reminds me of Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf? and also who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? So hearing Wolf makes me think of little red riding hood lol

* Idk what she’s talking about but to me it’s now a canon song about the big bad wolf in little red riding hood

* non-high thoughts: Jesus idk why I thought of red riding hood lmao but anyway, nothing crazy standing out to me. decent enough I guess?

I can fix him

* dude I didn’t even register this song I was trying to make me little red riding hood thing make sense

* non-high thoughts: this did nothing for me lol

loml

* started thinking about my grandparents at the beginning and then zoned for a bit out lol

* but I like this one a lot!!!

* very calming and I liked some of the lyric play

later thoughts:

* one of my favorites!!

I can do it with a broken heart

* ok. Bitch werk.

* I’m shaking my ass

* Oh shittttt I’m on the club floorrr

* Omg super Mario

* Ok this is a bopppp wtf

* Where is this song taking me???

* and we’re back to head bopping

* serious video games mode

* Omg it just ended

* Damn okkk!!

later thoughts:

* this song is fun but I need to be in the mood to listen to it

the smallest man who ever lived

* I’m kinda upset this one is slow and sad i want the fun beat back!!!

* I really liked the last minute and a half ish tho!!

later thoughts:

* still really like the last minute and a half

the alchemy

* idk but I’m getting nice vibes

* Like music wise. idk what the lyrics are saying, I’m too high for that

later thoughts:

* don’t have a strong opinion on this one tbh

clara bow

* I like this one

* STEVIE NICKS REFERENCE?!!?!?

* didn’t like her referencing herself at the end tho

later thoughts:

* still like this one a lot.

the black dog

* yeah this one’s fine. not my favorite and probably wouldn’t see it out but it’s decent enough.

later thoughts:

* I like it more than when I first listened to it.

imgomnagetyouback

* I was super focused on this song and I liked it!!

the albatross

* yeah. good. I’m getting tired tbh lol I may finish the rest tomorrow

later thoughts:

* one of my favorites!!

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

*it’s now the next morning and I’m not high anymore*

* This one’s fine, kinda boring. I did not register any of the lyrics lol

How did it end?

* I didn’t mind this one. the lyrics were good, but idk I really don’t like a lot of the slower songs on here it seems

so high school

* I like the production

* some of the lyrics were fine, some were kinda cringy? which I wanna say is what she was going for cause it’s supposed to be how she feels like she’s in high school with him but I don’t think she intended for them to be lol

later thoughts:

* yeah same thoughts as when I first listened to it.

i hate it here

* I appreciate the theme of disassociation and going into your own little world or wanting to go into a different time, but it didn’t really do anything for me

thanK you aIMee

* gee I wonder who this song’s about…

* I like the production, although the song just sounds recycled and similar to some of her other songs to me

I look in people’s windows

* “cause I’m a deranged weirdo” ok glad she said it not me lol

* in all seriousness it’s a nice, light sounding song (production wise). kinda reminds me of its nice to have a friend: short, a little different from the other songs

the prophecy

* I like this one. I like the melodies and how she sings it

Cassandra

* kinda boring but she has nice vocals

Peter

* I like the lyrics more than the music/production

the bolter

* I like this one.

* Not much to say but it’s got a nice rhythm and it’s cute and light

later thoughts:

* I like it more on subsequent listens

robin

* its not bad, but it’s another zone out song for me.

the manuscript

* again, not bad, but it’s not doing anything for me.

#taylor swift #ttpd