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#theres a likely chance ill forget about this
tobyunderscored · 7 months
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extra (?)
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silly randomized AU I doodled for fun, basically just shuffled around the characters (still working on zooble and kinger), might try n' draw them forreal instead of just doodling them... maybe
oh yeah, ragathas supposed to be kinger, pomni is jax, gangle is zooble, jax is pomni, kinger is gangle and zooble is ragatha (i have no idea how im gonna pull off zooble and kinger)
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fortunately-bi · 1 month
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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lizparkcr · 9 months
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I cannot talk abt the xl bully ban without getting a raised heart rate but i really desperately need ppl going "it's not the breed it's the owners!!!" to face off with one of those motherfuckers and then get back to me
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Would You Believe I was studying so I have yet to watch any further... but I 1000% trust your judgment and will resume shortly!
That's the consensus! He sounds really cute :) I think he's just hard on himself. On that note, this ad is the only time I can remember him singing in earnest (this video was one of the first things that marked my descent into madness btw. Kirin... Ichiban... Domestic "Jo"... what's not to love)
Your tag for my asks was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks!
absolutely valid reason to put a pause on watching my impulse control could never 🙏😭☠️ get that knowledge up my guy !!
ok but help i've actually had kirin ichiban a few times (i remember blogging about it here every time i did vlkaejvlkej), this is a real cute commercial though 😷😷 (even if it does make me hungry.. ironically speaking.. cause its meant to sell me the damn beer--)
#snap chats#I HOPE I DONT SEEM HOUNDING BOUT WATCHIN BTWJLVKJ i forget people consume media at a normal pace#thank you for finding my tag vVLKE I KNEW IT HAD 'HOLD' IN IT BUT WHEN I TRY LOOKING FOR IT OR HOPING AUTOFILL DOES ITS THING#NOTHING. NADA. hate this site. itd just make sense to tag asks from you with your user wouldnt it ☠️☠️#oh my god i was so distracted by fried rice i didnt even comment on the singing the singing's ALSO cute here#i do agree its probably that hes just hard on himself- not like i could say anything about that when i bully myself every other post ☠️#i love how half the comments on the vid do mention jo tho.... same brain vejralk#THERES ALSO LIKE MAX 15 COMMENTS BUT STILL we're all ill (unifying)#but man. to topically bounce around everywhere i do want fried rice now#i mentioned it At Some Point Probably but i used to live off fried rice and i remember using the same kind of spoon too#very weird specific memory to get but that's probably intentional to some extent from a selling point perspective#but im not here to analyze an ad bro dawg shut up just enjoy the man cooking 😭 him and his bouquet at the end yeah you deserve that king#cute as hell commercial.. rare day not tormented by the horrors lets a man cook ☠️☠️#i never got a chance to mention it but the other day i ended up having another tsutsumi dream ☠️☠️#its cause i was watchin onea his movies before bed again...#he was my dad in that dream this time tho and with how domestic this ad was it reminded me of that jvLAEKJ#anyways. no more movies before bed lest i wake up confused again
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 month
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Hello, could you do, gummigo x wife reader, where the two say goodbye before gummigo leaves with his brothers, to steal Maple Syrup from the Kingdom of Candy Canyon, but when they fall off the map with Pomni, he tells him about the reader Afterwards, when Caine kills Gummigo, I think, the team goes on an adventure again to the same place as Candy, but he finds the village where Gummigo lived. Pomni goes to look for Readee to tell her, and when he finds her, The reader invites her to come to the house, where Pomni discovers that they both had a baby, and Pomni doesn't know how to tell the reader.
pomni visiting npc!gummigoos wife!reader after caine poofs gummigoo
short post! not much to say here in the beginning notes lmao notes: reader is gn, maybe afab due to the baby but one can assume they dont have to be given digital world physics + npc stuff Cws: guilt
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one can assume that gummigoo still exists, just poofed and sent back to the void waiting for when he needs to be used once more. though i personally think that if he were to return, he would not remember anything that happened in episode 2... so lets explore two ideas in this post! ill divide each by a gap
assuming gummigoo does not return in the quest that involves the reader, and pomni stumbles upon you and sees your child... oh god she feels so horrible. as far as she knows shes doomed gummigoo- and that he no longer exists. ragathas reassurance that he may come out again did little to comfort her
she cant bring herself to be around you for long
she wants to tell you, she feels like she needs to- but you talk like everything is perfectly fine. of course you would, you werent sentient. you had all of these false memories. to you gummigoo had only been gone for a short period, off trying to get the syrup to save your village
ultimately i feel like pomni may swallow her guilt, what if she told you what happened and the exact same thing happens to you? poofed. she wouldnt let you go to the circus, but does that really matter? does this place still exist when the circus members are there?
its all so suffocating, she cant stand it. and the fact that youre trying to ask her whats wrong only makes her feel worse- she feels like shes going to puke
she likely holes herself up in her room as soon as the adventure ends, trying to recover.. its not going to get easier, is it?
but on the chance that gummigoo is around once more, just without his memories of... everything he experienced that day..
its not much better, but at least pomni can try to convince herself that at least he still exists- even if not consciously. it kills her a little inside to see the three of you interact with each other
completely unaware that you arent real people
you talk about how your child is the light of your life
but theyre just lines of code
the visit is brief, she doesnt find much of a reason to stick around
theres still the thought in her mind, almost telling her that shes obligated to tell you and your family everything thats going on
but you look so peaceful and shes not sure she can handle shattering your reality and just leaving you all alone- she has to go back to the circus eventually and shes learned her lesson that she cant bring any of you with her
similarly, the idea of "do you even exist when you arent needed" plagues her mind- would telling you and leaving you here do anything? would you all just forget again? that feels... needlessly cruel
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gremlingottoosilly · 8 months
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in if you need to be mean, would the reader ever try to escape? and if she did, how would konig react? thinking about like, she planned for a few months how would she escape him, and she feels very conflicted bc she loves him, but she wants freedom and thats the only thing konig would never give her. so when hes away she takes the car and just goes. i dont know where, but shes so desperate te be free again to do whatever she likes without him hovering and always by her side trying to control what she does! would he feel sad? would he be devastated? would he go after her? i know that theres like a 1% chance of it happening but im so curious about how he would react and how it would change their relationship.
anyway, love your fanfics gremlin you're a genius!!! 🫶
Konig made everything in his power to prevent her from escaping without locking her up and breaking her legs, but it doesn't mean he won't do it.
He refuses to let her study German because he moved her to this foreign country without her knowing the language, and he specifically chose a distant tiny town in the middle of the Austrian woods, where not a lot of people know English and therefore, it would be hard for her to communicate. She doesn't have his car keys or a driver's license, he didn't leave her a lot of cash, so she forced to use his cards with updates of withdrawal and spending sent to his account, and she also just has a dependant visa that wouldn't allow her to do independent anyway. Her only way would be speaking to the police and hoping that they would start the investigation. It would be really hard because, well, Austria doesn't really care about immigrant's problems unless it's an international scandal, and Konig would know anyway - because he has cameras in the house, which he doesn't even hide, and if the investigation would die down, or his girl wouldn't go to the police, he wouldn't really break the contract and run to her immediately. He has quite a few friends around, especially if Krueger or Klaus are around and not on deployment with him, so he could ask them to go and visit his...wife. She is scared and a bit hysterical because of the foreign country, so she can tell weird things about kidnapping and escaping, they shouldn't listen to her! Konig won't be so nice when he returns. He really wanted to play this fantasy of having cute little housewife, nice house and a girl that is absolutely in love with him. He knows that you like him, at least, that you didn't want to escape, you're just silly! He infantilised you before, mostly because of the age difference, but it would be even harsher now. You are not allowed to leave the house, he often simply locks you in the bedroom so you won't have anything to do besides waiting for him to return with groceries and fuck you into the mattress. He didn't want to break you leg, but if you keep resisting, he might kinda push you a bit further. He would assign you a no-nonsense older caretaker so you would have company and help while your leg is broken! She also thinks that you have some sort of weird mental illness that made you paranoid and afraid of your husband, so you can't even get help from her. You can forget about going out while he is on deployment either. And he is very reluctant to let you out, even with him, the first few months after your attempted escape. The world is too dangerous for you anyway,
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cultofsappho · 11 months
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Ive come to the realization that the reason theres a small but loud group of people who are showing nothing but hate for the rwrb movie is because they have completely unrealistic expectations. People are forgetting that this is a cheesy romantic comedy, thats supposed to look and feel like a cheesy romantic comedy. This isnt going to be moonlight or gods own country or some other critically acclaimed, oscar nomintaed queer film that makes straight people go "hmm maybe they do deserve rights and respect🤷‍♀️"
Its gonna be a cheesy adult romantic comedy, thats gonna be a bit camp and over the top and thats exactly why its so good. I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch. I want to watch it and see two queer people fall in love and thats it. Thats how deep it goes. Maybe a sprinkling of politcal commentary in between.
There is this issue thats become bigger and bigger every passing year, that people expect every bit of queer representation to be the best thing ever. There can not ever be anything cringey or different or silly, and if it is then they send endless hate towards it, and in an industry that already hates to show queer people on screen, its this viscious cycle of someone finally being greenlit to make queer media, the media gets endless hate for not being perfect, the studio cancels the queer media before giving it a chance because theyve just 'proven that it wont make money', suddenly everyone is saying 'why do they keep canceling queer media😢', cycle repeats.
Im so over it. Let gay people be slightly cringy or cheesy or campy. Let queer media exist without putting it on this huge pedestal. Just enjoy things! And if you dont, dont watch it! Move on, find something better to do.
Yes!!! Thank you so much anon for putting this feeling into words much better than I could have!
"I dont want to think about every gay movie I watch."
Thank you.
I want light-hearted rom coms about queer adults just being queer adults and havig fun. I want comedy adventures where the characters just happen to be gay. I want more horror where at the end the final girl kisses a girl and can't belive they lived but not because they're gay. (suprisingly several of these exist and I love it)
I don't always want to think about the plight and horrors of being queer today with every queer movie I watch.
Sometimes, yes of course, I want to be seen on that level.
(Nimona, which came this weekend is a perfect example of a queer movie where I felt very very seen but also had a good time and was an incredibly silly fantasy adventure movie. But, still had the queer expereince intertwined.)
I'm looking forward to a movie that will be 90% rom com, and 10% realism/heavyness. re: being outed is a real thing that happens to people. famous people.
Alex and Henry go through some heavy shit. There's seriously traumatizing stuff at the end of the book. They're both dealing with mental illnesses, complex families, and rock-or-a-hard-place situations. I want all of that honored.
And, at the same time, I'm expecting a straight-to-streaming, mid-budget, movie that had to pass through a LOT of straight hands and board meetings to get to us.
Not to say we should love and accept every queer movie that comes out automatically, they have been done wrong in the past. (example: I skipped call me by your name bc the age gap still makes me too uncomfortable to watch)
But we have to give queer movies a chance to fit the genre they were made for, the tone they are made to be, and give queer creators a chance to show they are us annd they know us. The director is Bi. He's spent so much time going on about how much he related to Alex that he needed to make this movie. It's his first directing role, and I'm giving him a chance.
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4pfsukuna · 3 months
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Awkward (N. Kento)
Theres just not enough fics of Nanami with black women outside of just smut..so here i am with smut but theres plot based on sza songs Awkward 
Time passing.
Nanami still has no idea how Gojo convinced him to attend his silly little holiday party. Knowing Gojo it would be loud, eccentric and lots of alcohol involved. Plus the fact that Gojo knew everybody and it looks like he’s invited everyone Nanami was ready to leave.
But Gojo made him promise to have one drink…just one. Plus he made some know it all comments about Nanami being a workaholic who was probably just going to go home look at stuff for work and do even more overtime spending the holidays alone. He always ragged on him about extra work but the alone part cut deep this time because it reminded him of his ex girlfriend the one he almost proposed to on the night of their anniversary, ring in pocket but he ended up getting stuck with over time, losing track of time and leaving her to sit alone at the restaurant for 2 hours. 
What was suppose to be a happy night was anything but and by 12:01am he was single. Bringing his cup to his lips he’s ready to take a sip but stops when he hears a laugh he’ll never forget.
The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—
“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.
He was sure of Two things in this moment. 1. His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.
“Oh let me introduce you to my friend Miyoshi, shes an interior designer. Designed all my homes boring career so you two might actually have something in common since you like boring stuff” Gojo insults while placing a napkin in his friends hand basically dragging him over to the woman through the crowd.
What? This was not at all how he planned on talking to you, what was he suppose to say? Would you even acknowledge him? Your curly fro had been straightened so it was now mid back with a slight red tint and he vaguely remember you saying a girl dyes her hair red when she’s over a man and there’s no chance for him ever again. Oh god you hated him. Was the room always this hot?
You turn around finally setting your eyes on the two of them and downing whatever was left in your cup. 
“Miyoshi, meet my friend Nanami kento. Kento this is Miyoshi” Gojo introduces and the air becomes thick with tension as you two awkwardly smile at another Nanami unable to keep your gaze on him.
Time passing by.
“Yosh” Nanami breaks the silence at the same time she speaks “nami”. Old habits die hard, the nicknames from another pouring from their lips shocking Gojo.
“You two know each other?” The white hair man ask which only confuses him more when you say no but he says yes.
He goes to ask the question neither of you wanted to answer but luckily is stopped by hearing the pur of his name from Geto who he waste no time following forgetting all about you two. 
“Can i get you another drink? Im sorry about Gojo and bombarding you like that” Nanami ask nodding at your cup watching as you exhale glossed lips forming your usual slight pout.
You nod as he leads you by the small of your back to the bar his hand burning a imprint on your lower back and you're grateful when he moves it to toss the napkin in his other hand away.
“Strawberry Lemon drop and a whiskey on the rocks” he tells the bartender before quickly looking over at you dropping apologies.
“Sorry you probably dont even like that anymore, i shouldnt have assumed! Ill—“ he starts ranting only for you to laugh, placing a hand on his forearm sitting on the stool.
“Still as charming as ever, its still my favorite drink” you smile the nerves leaving your body but filling his to the brim. Why was he so nervous? Of course his stoic poker face never dropped once but that was how he was.
“Its nothing, just wanna make sure you’re taken care of” he speaks so easily before you could respond or even react The drinks are quickly placed in front of you.
You wanted to know what the hype was all about
“So how have you been?” He ask downing half of his drink in one gulp. You follow suit licking the sugar off the rim unaware of how his eyes watch  and his grip tightens slightly on his glass.
“Are we really going to play this game kento? Fine. Ive been traveling exploring growing healing i finally quit the company and started my own business finding rich men like Gojo who have more money than they know what to do with and creating clients out of them” you shrug sipping the drink watching him smile… somewhat proud.
“Congratulations. Sorry if im prying—“ Nanami finishes his drink only for you to cut him off.
“No!” You say a bit louder than expected before clearing your throat. “No i… i just dont understand how you can sit here like everything ended— like nothing happened and were just old friends catching up” you ask confused, of course you wanted to talk to him 3 and ½ years with someone over in one night and now 4 years later here both of you are.
The nerves were back.
Then we fucked a little bit and I was out, Did not say bye
“Kento i broke up with you, fucked you one last time for my own closure and ghosted you in the middle of the night with no way of ever contacting me. Not my best moment” you finally speak on the elephant in the room another round of drink places infront of you two.
“Compliments of master satorou” the bartender nods before attending to other guest leaving no time to protest.
“I wouldve atleast like to remain friends but i understand.  You left with a bang… quite literally” he jokes trying to ease the tension showing off that jokester part of him that only youve seen.
And now for the word vomit , you couldn’t even stop it if you wanted.
“Friends? Our love was different…too strong for that. It was worth it,I would do it again.I know you hurt me,This is more than a friendship” you speak running over your finger your rim collecting sugar along the sides of your fresh acrylic nails. 
When you don’t hear anything from him (honestly what are you expecting? You just admitted you loved him so much youd go through the heartbreak a second time just to experience that love again) you look up watching as he loosens his tie.
Fuck. “Sorry”
“I made it awkward” which he chuckles at taking your jaw in his large hand forcing your eyes to look up at him. Your heart racing in your chest at the familiar contact
“I miss you”he finally slips the stoic façade falling all his emotions on display for you to see and suddenly the room feels 10 degrees hotter.
“I— why did you let me do it?” You ask and for a simple sentence it was so loaded. You can tell by the way the tips of his ears burn red.
“This isnt the place for that conversation” he speaks finally letting go of your chin turning back towards his drink and you exhale he was right. The awkward tension was back and you despised it.
“My home is 10 minutes away… we can really talk there if youd like” he suggest looking over his watch and i glance around at the party in full swing before back at him.
“Yeah”
When you two make it to his home you cant help the nostalgic grin. This was completely him, nothing out of place every color scheme matches because its all shades of white creme or beige. Everything looks super clean and super expensive.
“Would you like anything to drink? Or eat?” He ask heading to the kitchen after placing your coats on the rack.
“Wine… although ive probably drunk enough” you giggle taking a seat on the couch and he follows with two wine glasses and the bottle. But Nanami always had the best wine and knew the best pairings.
Downing the first cup you lick your lips until you feel his fingers brushing down hair with the rest. When you look over at him hes already stairing at you… admiring and its pure love. Everything starts to feel surreal and you really remember the last time you were with him— alone.
Can we still love on each other?
“Do you still love me?” You ask curiously before you have time to even realize what youre saying and he doesnt even look phased.
“Did you ever stop?” He questions looking at you over his wine glass setting it back on the coffee table next to the bottle looking away to hide the look in his eyes. Sighing you rest your cup next to his, lip gloss staining the glass.
Can we still touch on eachother.
Reaching up to play with his tie being unkept from him fiddling with it you only loosen it further unbuttoning the top 3 buttons just like you did when you two were still— fuck.  
You freeze but that doesnt discourage him feeling the coolness of your hands through the shirt bringing his full attention to you and youve completely taken over all of his senses. 
Can we still not judge  each other?
You still never answered the question just focused on his tie and froze. He curses at himself.
I make it awkward.
“I…im still inlove with you kento, never stopped” you finally say looking up at him glossy eyes and thats all he needs leaning forward placing his lips on yours the taste of alcohol and cherry lip gloss makes him melt. He kisses you delicately, scared to scare you off and even if you regret it the taste of your lips one last time would get him through a lifetime of over time.
Its when you sigh and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth is when he decides he needs you and he needs your weight on him. Pulling you so youre straddling his lap his hands slowly roaming your body still scared of sudden movements scaring you and wanting to map out every curve of your body missing the way you felt. Getting so lost in your brown skin he almost looses his thought. The one thing he promised hed tell you if he ever seen you again.
I can not love everybody
And hes confessing like a sinner in church or a man on judgement day because you are everything holy and he was ready to admit. 
“I could never be with anybody after you, no woman is you”
But you isn't anybody
“You took my heart with you when you left and only left a tiny piece left. And with that tiny piece all i could do is think about how much im in love with you. Want to be with you forever just us two” he breathes looking you dead in your eye so you know hes serious. Serious about you. Serious about this. Serious about yall.
You look at me different
You couldnt help but to see a different side of him. And not just the jokester side you seen earlier but a more mature Nanami Kento, a more considerate and loving Nanami kento. His lover boy era perhaps?! The heat pools inbetween your legs more than it had been all night as you two keep eye contact.
So I let you see my body
Pulling your dress over your head revealing the black lace matching panties and bra set he adjust in the seat.
“Proove it”
Body, body, body
“Youre going to be the absolute death of me, im sure of it” he admits his lips going to your neck trailing down the valley of your breast hands groping and squeezing them. His tongue licks over your cloth covered nipple pinching the other one causing a slight moan. Grabbing your hands to place on his shirt the signal to keep unbuttoning his hands go to your cheeks cupping as he begins kissing you harder tongue infiltrating your mouth.
And now we don't speak at all Now I regret it all
4 years without this? How could you? You were still absolutely positively madly in love with him. Missing him so much your lips dont disconnect at all even when he stands to walk toward his bedroom your fingers running through his hair at the nape of his neck pulling a soft moan from him. You don’t register the movement until your back is being layed in the softness of his bed.
Still, it was worth it
I would do it again
His lips trail down the valley of your breast again making sure to savor the taste of your brown skin before his tongue swirls over your brown nipple listening to your soft pants. He switches over to the other one, your lace bra being unhooked in the front by his mouth… he always did have a talented mouth.  
His lips continue their assault until they reach your panties kissing your lips through the lace earning a shiver before his teeth are pulling your underwear off and damn what a sight.
You can feel him breathing over your core making you nervous wanting to close your legs unaware of the way hes using his photographic memory to remember how gorgeous you look right now.
“Ken— mmph” his tongue glides against your folds with ease and your sure hes thought about this often because the way his tongue is delicated over every spot that makes you tingle is driving you insane. 
“Missed the way you taste sweetheart” he indulges using his first two fingers to open up your slick folds giving him access to what he really wants. His tongue swirls around once, twice, three times before fully latching onto your clit pulling a loud whine from you. 
Music to his ears he wants to make you do it again, show you hes sorry, beg for another chance fuck he was on his knees face burried into your dripping cunt and nothing outside of the two of you mattered right now. Using those two fingers he presses into your core moaning as you squeeze your legs around his head the need to cum building up when he twist his fingers with a delicious curl.
“K-kento i… im fuck” you begin writhing under his mouth hands gripping at the sheets as he keeps a slow sensual pace making sure you feel the apology. But hes a selfish man, he thinks, because the minute you cum hes lapping up every drop yet still wont give you a second to recover. You deserved it.
His tongue replaces his fingers, fucking you as his thumb swirls around your clit watching every face of exstacy you make, the way the lights from the city shine through the room bouncing off the soft brown of your skin. 
He just wants one more only one and when your hands tangle in his blonde hair holding him in place forcing him to watch you fall apart on his tongue his dick twitches in his boxers precum spilling from the tip.
“NANAMI” you shout the highest pitch hes ever heard your voice before orgasming on his lips his movements never stopping as he pushes you into your third one of the night, he needed your taste engraved in his brain… and tongue. The sounds of your heavy breaths grabs his attention and he grins watching the heat of the room make your hair curl back up with a slight friz. Just the way he loved it.
Though hes shocked when you lurch forward pulling him by his cheeks to place an open mouth his tongue swirling around his mouth tasting yourself and a hint of alcohol.
Hes nervous when you pull back, afraid you may regret it and be ready to walk out until your trembling fingers push his unbuttoned shirt off over the planes of his muscles taking your time feeling them even when his shirt falls to the floor. 
Next is his belt buckle and he feels like hes shaking from anticipation watching you do this. He cant help himself and leans back in for another kiss your lipgloss long gone. Sliding everything off in one push your eyes widen at his length thats dripping precum in a way youve never seen before that makes you lick your lips wanting to get every drop but he leans forward pulling your chin up to him.
“Maybe later love,” and the nickname hurts. He always called you that after being away on a long business trip or extremely long nights at work when he strolled in after midnight.
He grabs his thick length pumping a few times before lining it up with your core and the air is thick again. With anticipation…
Longing…
Need…
Unspoken apologies…
I know you hurt me, but
But this is deeper than friendship now
Nodding giving him the okay he slides in making you  gasp and he captures your lips in a groan the burn of him stretching you out as his dick slides in is welcomed. Its like your walls were made just for him. Though you dont expect the string of apologies he begins letting out and tears prick your eyes as you pull him close one hand on his spine the other tangled in his hair.
Let's keep it awkward
He doesnt move for a second and you understand the hesitation. You knew what this meant. He just needed a little motivation.
I think we're ready for it, yeah, mmh
Squeezing you core he groans sending a sharp thrust into you burrying his face in your shoulder. He slowly pulls back just to the tip sliding back in with the same sharp thrust releasing a grunt before picking up your thigh pressing it against your chest. The gasp leaves your mouth as you struggle to think straight nails digging into his back pulling him closer. It seems your claws in his back does nothing but turn him on more.
His lips begin kissing down your neck sucking and leaving a trail of hickeys because even if he couldnt have you past tonight he would leave his mark and let it be known you were his until they stop on your breast. His tongue laps at your perky nipples sucking until he pulls a delicious moan from you and your hands find his hair again. He loved when you pulled it and kept it long enough for you to get a grip but short enough so it wasnt always in his eyes.
“K-kento” you stutter breathlessly your legs shaking as the first orgasm from his dick rips through you yet he shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. Just keeps fucking you through it.
Well this was a different level of deepness.
“Fuck i love you” he grunts again with slow powerful strokes making sure his pelvis hits yours every time as his hands trace the outline of your body squeezing whereever he can. His lips meet yours once more in a sloppy kiss as he drops more weight on you to keep you in place. The only sounds are a combination of your moans and the wet slapping sounds. A particular thrust of his hips makes you feel like he’s digging you out and your back arches off the bed only for his body to press into you.
“Fuck, tell me how good it feels sweetheart” he practically begs but youre still trying to catch your breath from the first orgasm making him release your nipple and come back to your shoulder peppering it with kisses. “Tell me how much you missed this…us” he adds before snaking a arm down between the both of you and finding your clit.
“N-nan… shit… nami” your words are broken and you cant even keep your eyes focused on one spot and he grins into your neck at his name rolling off your tongue acknowledging where the nickname from earlier came from. His thumb goes at a sensualy slow place but the pressure hes applying has your legs locking up behind his back and he delivers the final blow.
Pulling your chin down to find your eyes and he smiles wholesomely with a wicked glint in his eyes making you give him complete eye contact unable to move. 
“Cum with me” he begs and demands all at once his thrust a bit sporadic and loosing rhythym as the speed on your clit pics up as well the coil building in you before finally snapping and your gushing all over him as ropes of his load shoot into you consequences be damned. He collapses next to you pulling your body ontop of his chest rapidly rising and falling. You two are silent, a comfortable one before he extends his arm rumaging in the drawer next to his bed and you close your eyes fighting the sleep. 
You open your eyes once more when you feel him wrapping a scarf around your hair that had completely curled back up due to the heat and sweat from your bodies. Your only response is to  smile and place a kiss on his chest which he chuckles at and places a kiss on your forehead tracing his fingers up and  down your spine
Let's keep it awkward
Waking up to the sound of the keyboard you yawn rubbing your eyes to see a glass of water and 2 tylenol on the night stand infront of you. The realization dawns on you of where your at but how could you forget you knew that scent of detergent, the cozyness of the sheets and the fact that this was your side of the bed because the vent was next to it meaning youd be getting all the heat first… this was your ex boyfriend Nanami kentos bedroom and you were completely naked except for the pale blue sheet covering your lower half.
It may seem silly but the sound of the keyboard brought tears to your eyes, all the hard work you did on healing. No amount of sza, jhene aiko nor beyonces lemonade album would get you through this one because you knew what it was and allowed it. Nanami was a workaholic— the exact reason for your split. Dates postponed with no exact date, romantic evenings cut short, sleeping alone for several nights as the computer held his attention… What hurt the most was being stood up on your anniversary.  
Slowly rising up you rub your eyes and begin looking for you clothes ready to make your great escape.
“Good morning sweetheart howd you sleep?” He ask the audacity to even call you sweetheart as if everything was back to when you two were still in a relationship makes your heart clench with pain. When you don’t respond the sound of the keyboard stops and you feel the bed shift flinching before he can touch you.
“No i know that look youre going to run, just like last time” he speaks in such a timbre that steals your breath knowing your causing him pain. “If all you wanted was a quick fuck you—“ he begins to say and you scoff finally looking at him eyes set ablaze.
“How fucking dare you?! Thats all i was to you Kento! A quick fuck to burn through your stress and then right back to your silly little papers and projects and work. You were always drowning yourself in work so deep that i had to convince myself you actually didnt hate me! All you do is work and when youre not working youre picking up overtime. You placed your job over me countless times! The only time you thought about me was to reschedule what we had planned…. 14 date nights and a anniversary kento! FOURTEEN!” You finally yell feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the speach you rehearsed 3 dozen times in the mirror.
His shoulder slump as his lips form a line looking for the right words to say. What could he say he was over the moon waking up next to you in bed and now he felt disgusted with himself. Nothing was worse than the regret on your face.
You begin looking for your clothes again and that sets him into action he shuffles off the bed pulling you into his arms your head against his chest his heartbeat racing.
“Im sorry” released the flood gate of tears youd been holding back as if he knew he holds you tighter and sighs.
“Im sorry for neglecting you, im sorry for not putting you on the pedestal you deserve to be on, im sorry for anytime ive ever made you question my love for you, im sorry for all the dissapointments and most of all im sorry for waiting this long. Im an idiot and every day without you was hell i thought what i would do differently if i had the chance once more and i—“ he stops sitting down on the bed so he could pull your eyes to his covered by his thick framed glasses.
“Karma is beating my ass with cursed energy because for every day we werent together all i could think about was every time i canceled and how i wish i could just have 1 night, id make it all right” he confesses with wide eyes wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 
Your eyes flicker to his laptop and he follows before showing me the screen and there’s about 6 tabs open. His email, flights, hotels, car rentals and clothing stores.
I know I'm ready for it, you feel me?
“I was telling my boss im taking the next month off 14 dates is alot of time sweetheart… 14 too many and i know. We always talking about escaping to malaysia, trying all the foods, shopping breakfast on the beach and dancing under the moonlight until 2am. Everything’s booked and i know youd need time to pack and get your hair done i already messaged your hairstylist who can see you in 4 hours hopefully after we’ve had breakfast and agreed to the trip” he pleads with hopeful eyes revealing his hand to show you, not just tell you how apologetic he was but to show you.
Your heart begins racing, palms sweaty and damn did this man have you weak in the knees! He was doing everything right, saying everything right and he looked so fine the way his boxers hugged his muscular frame and okay maybe a man with a plan turned you on anybody could say words but to put action behind it… And like this? Oh baby he really thought about it, kinda like you factory reset him.
“Heres my card pay for whatever you need and a key… to my place” you never really heard him stumble over his words before until now and his nervousness is showing in a boyish way youd never seen before who wouldve thought stone wall one expression Nanami kento here stumbling over you? “So what do you say?”
Can we still love on each other?
Can we still touch on each other?
Can we still not judge each other?
So… what do you say?
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bspeaks · 24 days
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some light petplay with nick???
(nsfw under the cut)
if there's one thing nick loves, its having you all sweet and obedient for him. sure, he has fun dealing with your bratty moments and he always enjoys punishing you, but theres something about you being pliant and desperate to please him that gets him extra worked up.
then he discovers that the quickest way to get you like this is to treat you like you're his pet.
it was a rookie mistake on your part, to let him find out your weakness. it was a lazy saturday morning. he was looking over your shoulder while the two of you cuddled and you were mindlessly scrolling on your phone. you were scrolling through twitter slowly when a post about being called puppy appeared and you pressed like, forgetting he was there. "wait, wait go back", hes mumbling in your ear before you have the chance to realize what youve done.
you pretended not to hear him and kept scrolling, only for him to swiftly snatch your phone from you. "nicky wait" you pant, panicked. he found the tweet again easily and read it out loud, causing you to blush. "oh i got your ass now...." he said smiling and tossing your phone back to you. he settled back down against you and shut his eyes with a smirk on his face, leaving you alone with your racing heart.
it had been an entire week since this incident, and you were starting to feel relieved. it seemed like maybe he had been too sleepy during your slip-up to remember what happened. you got lucky, the universe was on your side this time. or so you thought.
it was so innocent, he had sweetly asked you to bring him his phone from the other room. as you placed it in his hand he used his other to gently caress your face. his eyes were locked on yours as he spoke. "my puppy's so good at playing fetch. such a good girl for me" you couldn't stop yourself from releasing the air that had been trapped in your chest, and out with it came a soft whimper.
he chuckled softly and his hand on your face now had a firm, but gentle grip on your cheek. "youre too cute. you wanna be a good puppy for me?" you nodded mindlessly, his words bouncing around in your head preventing any other thoughts from occurring in your mind. "then why dont you get on all fours and act like it" he commands, pointing towards the bed.
your body moved before your mind even had a chance to process his instructions. you quickly situated yourself on your hands and knees on the bed and waited for his next move. he settled behind you, one hand on your ass gently squeezing you. "youre such a good listener for me puppy, i love it. sit." he said tapping you to encourage you to move. you sat back on your knees and looked up at him. he brought his hand to the yop of your head, softly petting you, then his lips met yours gently. you moaned into his mouth, exposing just how worked up this was getting you, and he smirked while pulling away.
"if you keep up the good listening ill let you cum, puppy." he said, still petting you. you nodded, ready to give him whatever he wanted. "strip." he said firmly and you jumped into action. once you had shed all your clothes he stood scanning your body with predatory eyes. you began to squirm under his gaze, feeling incredibly exposed. "dont get shy now, puppys dont need clothes right?" he said, reading your embarrassed expression. "but you know what you're missing?" he asked, "a collar around that pretty little neck." you melted at the thought. "since youre so good at fetch, puppy, why dont you go fetch that package that came for me earlier" hesitantly, you got off the bed. you made your way to where Nick had left his package earlier, the cold air against your bare skin made you shiver as you walked.
you returned with the package to find him sitting on the edge of the bed. you held the package out to him and he took it from you, smiling at your obedience. "sit" he said once again, reveling in the way you immediately dropped to your knees in front of him. he tore open the package and the contents made your legs weak. it was a collar, and it was perfect. the perfect size, the perfect color, the perfect design. it was like it was made for you. now you knew why he had been waiting all week to do this, he needed to make sure everything was perfect.
"you want it on, puppy,?" he asked seeing the way you stared at the collar with wide, glossy eyes. you nod eagerly. he moves to wrap the collar around your neck, adjusting it to the perfect length for you and securing it in place. "hows that?" he asked, searching your eyes for an answer when you dont respond.
you couldn't bring yourself to respond. the collar was applying such a nice pressure to your throat. Nick was looking at you with his pretty eyes. every word he'd said so far was still echoing in your ears. it was all getting too much. you were so wet and so worked up that you started panting a little, a few whimpers slipping out of your mouth. his hand came to your face gently. "what's wrong puppy?" he asked, concerned. you took his other hand in yours, interlocking your fingers while squirming a bit. you didnt know how to tell him what you wanted. you didnt even know what you wanted but you felt like you were about to explode.
"speak, puppy, tell me what you need" he said, never breaking eye contact. "please nicky, i need you" you whined, finally. he smiled at you smugly "god youre so fucking cute when you beg," he said "i guess my good puppy does deserve a treat for being such a good girl. come on sweetheart." he said patting the bed.
he guided you onto your back, putting your hands on your thighs and spreading you open. he knelt down in front of you, letting you feel his breath against your wet pussy. "nicky please" you whined, not able to handle his teasing right now.
"alright alright" he mumbled and gently licked into you. your back arched at the sensation of finally being touched where you need. he ate you out slowly and gently, careful not to send you over the edge too quickly. it wasnt long before he was pumping two of his fingers in in out of you, while keeping his mouth on your clit. your hands were in his thick hair as you writhed underneath him. you felt the knot in your stomach grow unbearably tight.
"come on puppy come for me, come on my fingers" nick urged, curling his fingers up into a spot that sent you straight over the edge. "thats my good girl" he praised, while working you through your orgasm. your juices coating his hand.
he gave you a minute to catch your breath before climbing on top of you and kissing you eagerly. he brought his wet fingers to your lips and you took them into your mouth obediently, making him groan. feeling a second wind arising within you, you snaked your hand down to palm the bulge in his pants. he chuckled at your eagerness. "so eager to please me, huh puppy?" he taunted. "cmon. speak. tell me what you want." he demanded, taking his fingers from your mouth.
"want you to fuck me, nicky, please." you whined, tugging at the waistband of his pants. he lifted off of you and began to remove his pants and boxers. "all fours, go." he instructed, making you wet all over again. you quickly flipped yourself onto your hands and knees feeling him rub his thick cock against your folds.
you sighed as he finally pushed into you. "fuck" he groaned, slowly pumping into you. it wasnt until now, now that he was finally inside you, that he realized how worked up this entire thing has gotten him. his words came out rushed and his voice was hoarse. "such a good fucking puppy for me. gonna let me fill you up? yeah?"
you gripped the sheets to ground yourself as he mercilessly fucked into you. "yes nic- nicky please, please fill me up." you panted out. your weak voice was enough to send him over the edge. he stilled inside you, filling you with his release. the feeling made you smile and sigh, pressing your face into the bed.
after a moment of silence, he pulled out of you. grabbing your hips he flipped you around to face him, immediately connecting his lips to yours. his kiss was soft and slow, and his hand came up to rest on the collar you wore. you whined, pushing against his chest to allow yourself to get some air.
"didn't know you could be such a good little pet for me" he praised, pulling you into his chest. he gently removed the collar from around your neck. "this will definitely be making a return..." he said smugly.
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obitv · 1 year
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i feel like. for the most part, pd fans dont think about the spirit world often. despite the ENTIRE ARC they spent there the ost people take away is mal = big evil guy and.. idk. the wispering woods Exists? but there is SO, SO MUCH going on there thats so much more important than youd think. just for starters
its a SERIES OF FLOATING ISLANDS IN A VOID, JUST LIKE FAUNA
mal? not so important there. his guide, ghoul (who we see a grand total of ONCE, in episode 10, and is mentioned again in episodes 11 and 12), is POTENTIALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD whereas mal i wouldnt put above 50, and thats even a stretch (i will get to the why later)
domains! those floating islands? all domains! ghoul? technically owns most of the domains! what does that mean? HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS THERE AND CAN CONTROL IT.
also i think everyone forgets this but william was, visually, in his wisp form the entire time they were there
oh also ghoul has dozens if not hundreds of paintings of a man who might be jason king (ORIGAMI) in his castle.
so. ive taken the time to compile most of the information i could find on mal, ghoul, the spirit world, the wisps, an more into a handy post because im fucking insane (note: im only up to e13, the smoke samurai fight, in my rewatch. this IS where the majority of spirit world facts come from anyway, but anything i mention that isnt from those episodes wont be in as much detail bc my memory is ass. if you remember more things, let me know!) (also also, im going to avoid bringing up deadwood as much as i can because.... i think ive talked about it enough 😭)
starting with: GHOUL!
lets be honest. theres a very small chance you even remember this guy exists. but he is FASCINATING
to start with, he has a.. symbiotic relationship with mal, from what ive seen. he needs mal to interact with the physical world, mal needs him to go to the spirit world. ill go into this more in mals section
aside from that, mal is NOT the first physical vessel ghoul's taken. its not clear when he began working with mal, or how many forms he had before, but he's one of many
(also just a note because it can definitely be confusing... ghoul and mal seem to share control over the castle, but before seeing that mal is waiting for them in the dining room everyone was focused on ghoul and mal was barely brought up. its not clear if the things they see in the castle before going in to mal were his choice or ghouls but... ill include the paintings here)
on that note: the paintings!
what the fuck is going on in there
so. yeah. ghoul has.. dozens. and i mean DOZENS, hundreds if you count that they repeat over and over, of paintings featuring a man with "blond hair and chiselled jawline" in various important historical events. they line the walls of the upstairs corridor (the one that seems endless) and are never brought up again
do i think this is jason king? well im not convinced they ARENT... i will touch on this again later just keep it in mind
jumping back to domains, ghoul seems to have.. some degree of control over all of them. at least in the part of the spirit world he rules over, which i assume is. why he rules it. going by the king stuff its like. he owns all the land and "rents" it out to other spirits
rent is a nicer word, since he can CURSE PEOPLE to control domains and dictate how they behave
thats why the carnival is evil, if you remember. ghoul cursed the carnival skeleton (the REAL groundskeeper) to rule the domain and attack anyone who entered
what the fuck
also ghoul is a king
when looking for ghoul in ashes book, despite the very low roll they got some VERY important info: ghoul (who, when we see him, is comapred to antivenom from spiderman) -
this guy
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HE WAS A HUMAN KING. his name is mentioned ALL THE WAY through ashes book, from front to back. a picture of a man in royal garb, was labelled with his name
something.. happened. that turned him from that spirit world king to a monstrosity.
its also never made clear if the man in the paintings is ghoul? we dont get a description of the kings face in the book and we dont get a description of the mans clothes
also, finally: when theyre in the physical world, mal and ghoul essentially share a body, with the body turning into That Thing ^^ when ghoul is in control. ghoul HAS to take control to open portals to the spirit world - he does it to william, and cantrip mentions it too when they interrogate her
he also appears separately from mal when they take william to the spirit world, but we dont see him at all in any other domains so thats a small sample size
BUT he Does have a fucking. encyclopedic knowledge of domains (which ill talk about later). he "knows all of these places [domains]"
NEXT: MAL!
where do i fucking start.
basic mal facts: asshole, british, very powerful, knows far too much about the spirit world to make any sense
just a basic overview of his powers, btw:
he can create illusions, float/fly (in the spirit world, at least), ghostshape, go intangible, and mayyybe has some sort of connection to earth or gravity powers because theres one point where he makes the ground beneath someone burst up but also that mightve been a weird ghostshaping trick and im honestly too scared to think about that
basically he seems to have most of williams powers + illusions and whatever that ground trick was. the only things we havent seen are invisibilty (which considering mechanically its just a flavouring of an advantage which isnt technically a power, makes sense) and the wisp form, though id consider the ghoul transformation to b the equivalent of that
oh in case you forgot he can also FREEZE. TIME. william isnt affected by this but im not sure if that was because mal wanted him to see what happened or because spirit shenanigans
also little aside but while williams powers manifest as wispy blue flames, mals are always black lightning (his ghostshaping, most noticeably)
the biggest mal question is.. how does he. know all that shit? youd expect ghoul to be the one who actuall has the knowledge but mal is ALWAYS the one they deal with
now you may be wondering: why is this an issue? well the thing is. we dont actually know ANYTHING about mal. we dont know where he comes from, what he wants, how he met ghoul, if his powers are his own or all come from ghoul... none of it
what we can ASSUME: mal was alive when he made some sort of deal with ghoul, because he obviously had a physical body. my personal theory is that mal is (one of?) the previous owner of ashe's book, since so far that's the only thing we've seen that allows you to summon spirits and allow them to possess you, and its full of references to ghoul. and quite honestly the thought that theres MULTIPLE books like that is terrifying. so
ok i actually just came up with that one on the spot but if mal had a better understanding of the language the book is in than ashe and wasnt so afraid to use it then actually him knowing a shitton about the spirit world makes so much sense. what the fuck
bizly bizlychannel youre prying that theory from my fucking corpse im in love with it now.
so. yeah. presumably, mal and ghoul made some sort of deal, because they work together. its not clear if mal is working to get william on his side by his own volition or if ghoul wants him to, or if its like a "ghoul brought it up and mal decided to go for it because hes better at talking and also isnt a horrifying monster" but whatever. unlike william and the wisps (amazing band name) who fight fucking constantly because william never ASKED for his powers, mal is comfortable with them
another thing mal seems to have control over is ghouls castle. he lays out the red carpet and makes every door lead to the dining room and also makes it impossible to leave
specifically, irt all the doors going to the dining room, bizly said "if he can control this castle and where it goes, thats what he wouldve done"
the corridor upstairs (without the carpet, with the paintings) also goes on literally forever. you cant go back once you walk far enough you have to go through a door. i have no idea if this was mal or ghouls choice
another thing! specifically layed out on the walls next to the carpet ("things he specifically wanted them to see") is an ornate dagger in a glass case. which vyncent with a gun steals but i dont think is brought up again ??? also the wording made me feel like there shouldve been more items listed but since condi immediately started stealing he just didnt include the rest ?? unsure
this is just a weird thing to note but theres like these freaky black tendrils that grab the table and hold it down when dakota tries to flip it. i dont know what to do with this information its just there
when william confronts mal on how much the spirits seem to hate him and ghoul, mal says "that's not what im here for" and, when pressed, says thats "a conversation for another day"
DOMAINS! AND THE SPIRIT WORLD IN GENERAL!
first: basics
the spirit world is, from what we've seen, a collection of floating islands over a void. these islands seem to all be "domains", places that are controlled by special spirits
the spaces between domains is the dead zone! this is where people go when they die, like 99% of the time. going there without special means (the hot air balloon, the carriage) will kill you.
so, how do you get a domain? ah. good... question....
one way is to kill whoever currently owns it. then its yours! congrats! you can alsp give away domains, but the only time we've directly seen this happen was the groundskeeper who was also cursed at the same time and ghoul seems to still have some control over the carnival anyway??? unclear
which leaves. william fucking wisp. because he has a domain! i am not getting into it here because ive said it all already but its there
also a little worth noting that williams domains seems to be shaped subconsciously without him even knowing it was there
i honestly cant speculate much more on williams domain because we just. dont have the answers. i could ask domain questions all fucking day like "did the wisps give william a domain" or "by being a powerful spirit did he just get an empty one or was one created just for him" etc etc we have no way of knowing
domains we know about: williams graveyard, the carnival, ghouls castle, the wispering woods (perhaps a series of domains? unknown), and the tricksters... house thing. do not ask me what the chaos zone is, i dont know and it scares me. if i had to guess itd be a series of. well. chaotic domains perhaps all partially ruled by the trickster but i also dont have ANY trickster lore written down bar "has a domain" so ill come back to that another day
and the obligatory deadwood mention: from what we can gather, the woods surrounding deadwood are where the barriers between the physical and spirit worlds are thinnest. specifically the area william died in was brought up which is totally linked to Everything about him
the wispering woods, in ashes book, is described as a "sanctuary" or "oasis". barely anybody has ever seen it and come back to say what it was like
ok bonus fact time. i dont know where to put these
WILLIAMS DAD? MAD FUCKING SUS
when they first talk to mal in his domain, he says the phrase "william! be a sport, be a pal, be my friend." its specifically noted that william recognises that phrase as something his dad said to him a lot as a child
mal is also pretty much.. the only person to call william "wisperer" consistantly. but for that phrase he said william
additionally, this entire. interaction between bizly and charlie
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ill go crazy if i dont bring that up. so its here
AND! FINALLY! JASON MOTHERFUCKING KING!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT HUH?
in williams party city doritos induced fever dream (i am not talking about that ghost. i refuse) he sees the spirit world (floating islands) and he sees a throne made out of paper. this reads very clearly like a reference to origami/jason king, since hes dead at the start of the story
also i just want to say there IS a rolled where they say how jason died but theyre laughing really hard so i have absolutely no idea what theyre saying all i can hear is "dickass" im so sorry
so yeah. with that image in mind, hearing ghoul be described as a king (who HAS A CASTLE), and having so many paintings of a man who sounds similar to jason (am i reaching? maybe. but hes also the only prominent dead figure who already has connections to spirit world royalty and hes blond so let me have this) is just like. insane coincidence
i have nothing i can really prove here, because have o idea HOW jason an ghoul could be connected. but they are. i know it. believe me
thanks for reading this far it took me 2 hours to compile it all. if you have anything to add esp from later episodes PLEASEEEE PLEASE DO also if you wanna discuss anything i mentioned here i am always down.
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queenie-blackthorn · 8 months
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in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)
kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.
also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all
tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?
ive died two times in my life so far.
the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.
the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.
i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.
and then i died again.
this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.
it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning
i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:
im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?
so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.
and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.
i was reborn.
at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:
i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed
i finished about six chapters of my book
i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head
i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked
i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer
i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends
i started focusing on my studies
i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings
dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird
and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.
but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.
and if finding happiness a losing battle?
well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.
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imustbenuts · 2 months
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Who's your Delicious in Fire Emblem dream adventurer party-- We've talked meals, but who's gonna go diving into dungeons to hunt these monsters?
oooh this is a pretty interesting spin and tough to answer. theres so many characters in FE its a difficult to pin down. anyway throught process time
for this ask im going to interpret this into the following problem. 1) be good at cooking mons, 2) and be okay with eating mons.
theres def a lot of them who are objectively good at hunting, but the mon part will trip them up.
further, my problem with the majority of the FE cast is that i trust very few of these people to be both of those things. majority of these characters are also either too aristocrat-y or not adventerous enough in terms of food... at least in my head. more under the cut bc long post ;o
like i cant expect chrom to be all 'sure lets eat some fried lizards', dude grew up on fancy feasts and field rations. even if his STR is through the roof and eats unpeeled oranges hes just not really the type to be enthusiastic on monster food. alcryst would panic at the thought of it and ill spare him from this hypothetical. culturally, takumi might not be ok with eating mons bc they could be too 'unclean' for shinto. similarly, as capable as some cooks are, non-conventional monster parts on the chopping block is probably not something they'd wanna touch.
also for the purpose of this post im sniping bunet and frederick straight out of the pool bc both are such an easy pick. bunet bc he would absolutely respect the food to cook it perfectly, and frederick bc he'd be decent but will be a pain in the ass to deal with without blackmailing chrom or something. bam bam.
so ding dong the first victims of the fire emblem dangly ronply has been found. lets move on
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so here are the shortlisted canidates: lukas, nephenee, petra, byleths, nyx and shez. not necessarily a party, bc personality might not gel well together :c, but at least one of these in a party and the run should have a decent chance of succeeding.
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1. lukas
lukas is choosen here bc he would not be bothered too much by the idea of eating monsters. in fact, he would be okay at prepping a slain mon for food even if he cant cook decently. his inherent lack of strong emotions or feelings towards things is also going to be a big plus for this specific scenario. some people have interpreted him being a high functioning sociopath or just someone who has very repressed emotions.
either way he isnt too bound by conventional thinking. and also he'd be the party's tank and foward. lukas the tank engine. never forget.
2. nepheene.
she would probably squick a bit here at the thought of eating monsters not bc monsters are ick but bc society thinks the act of eating monsters is ick. so itd take some time getting used to it but she would quickly adapt in a dunmeshi setting given her country bumpkin background.
mon prep, no issues. i also think she might be good at foraging. cooking hearty meals might come easy due to her growing up with multiple siblings. shes also very tough in survival, so i think she'll do okay :)
3. petra
this girl's got it. shes good at hunting, good at trapping, probably okay at recognizing and disabling traps considering her perception honed from her hunting culture and skill.
mon prep isnt going to be a big problem. generally speaking, cultures where hunters are present typically try not to waste any part of their kills, and butchering is an essential skill to have. in terms of taste it might be a little difficult for others to get used to, but im sure she'll be a massive boon to any dungeon food party.
4. byleth / byleths
oh yeah. they are DEFINITELY not going to have a problem with this. considering they're mercenaries and are on the road often, hunting and cooking would be a basic survival skill. they wouldnt be picky about food either
given how they might be very objective orientated, giving them a mission of hunting monsters for food will not go wrong. i hope. as long as sothis doesnt get in the way--
5. shez
!!UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES PUT SHEZ AND BYLETH TOGETHER IN THE SAME PARTY WITHOUT PRIOR INTERACTION!!
to prevent sothis from activating, place a face down shez in defense position and summon a byleth in attack position. then, activate Tea Time and upon the appearance of sothis, activate Swords Of Revealing Light. this will lock sothis down while the two have a chat and realize they're exactly the same except where shez is suckier at general mercenary stuff, they're infinitely better at cooking
once that gets resolved feel free to put shez either solo or together with byleth. they're a squishier byleth but def will get the job done AND feed you yum yums.
6. nyx
nyx is a very very powerful magic user who embodies the lolibaba trope. but for her case, she doesnt follow conventional thinking, and is a very powerful mage who might appreciate taking a mission of dungeon monster hunting to train and get her abilities under control
above all, bc of her curse trapping her physical age to be a young girl, shes mentally an old lady, so shes mature and kind and seems to really want to act on those feelings. her bringing a bunch of dead mons for the youngins to eat might do her good for her mental health :D
further, i think shes the type to pick up maternal-ish skills like cooking and sewing for another person or poor meowmeows if she gets attatched enough.
and bc shes good at magic she can easily disable magical traps or detect magical BS. shes definitely a learned mage by the time we run in to her in fates
thats all folks (this took hours to write hrbrhrh)
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princessofxianle · 2 months
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I’m the anon that asked you all the questions about your FX backstory AU, and I have another question!
1. How did Shen Liang die?
2. In one of your previous posts, you implied that SL and FX meet again when SL’s a ghost, and it seems like she torments FX whenever they cross paths. What made Shen Liang care about Feng Xin?
3. How did Shen Liang feel when Feng Xin ascended? Was there even the tiniest bit of pride at having her didi become a God?
4. Does Feng Xin ever get angry about how badly his sister treated him? And does he ever tell Shen Liang the extent as to how badly she hurt him emotionally?
5. In one of your posts, Hua Cheng introduces Feng Xin to his mother. Why would he do that?
6. If Xie Lian ever found out about Feng Xin’s childhood, would he be angry with Shen Liang on FX’s behalf?
Omg its one of my fav anons HI FRIEND, I’m sorry this took over a mOnth, I’ve been trying to stay sane irl but still wanted to get you quality answers bc your questions always get me GOING and help me answer some things even I still dont know
for reference:
| more asks | meet the OC's (FX's family) | #fx backstory au
*alex from the future here I WROTE A LOT AGAIN IM SORRY ...it will happen again*
Spoilers for my AU under the cut, obvi, I’m gonna pretend like yall are my writing group (but w/o any manuscript… you know what I mean lolol) WARNING im still planning some bits so some things are still up in the air until I find a good plot reason to nail them down:
1. How did Shen Liang die?
Good question! Honestly? I don’t know exactly. That’s something I was gonna leave until the day I decide to write her death (or simply reference it, since I hate having to UNFORTUNATELY remind myself that this AU is about Feng Xin not Shen Liang… my girl is stealing the show I swear lol)
What I DO know is that our good ol friend, Jun Wu, has a hand in killing her 😊 She has an ability to manipulate souls which JW deems could be used as a cure for human face disease. Can’t have that in our kingdom-ending pandemic, can we? So she’s just in his way to ruin our fav crown prince’s life. JW does give her a chance to help him with her said soul ability, but even if Shen Liang hates her brother, she’s not a murderer. No part of her soul will ever be that. She’s not about to help doom her kingdom. (2nd MORE ANGSTY option is JW *already*has the intent to use her ability for bad, so to protect her kingdom, she kills herself to stop him)
2. In one of your previous posts, you implied that SL and FX meet again when SL’s a ghost, and it seems like she torments FX whenever they cross paths. What made Shen Liang care about Feng Xin?
They actually meet twice! But I haven’t talked abt the 2nd time yet 😊
In regard to the 1st time, I’m not sure if you’re asking “why does SL care about FX at all?” or “why does ghost!SL take the time to care about FX?” so Ill answer both!
Spoiler: SL has always cared about FX, even before he was born (bear with me, she’s still awful to him BUT THERES REASONS) That fact doesn’t change after he’s born either. What *does* change is the state of her soul due to her inability to control her own soul manipulation ability bc of a traumatic event (the loss of her mother). Shen Liang’s soul never actually stops loving FX, but the half that *contains* that love, isn’t always present in her body. I’ll have to do more explanation on her ability later. It’s a lot.
Now, why does ghost!SL care? Well, she’s gone a little mad, as a ghost formed from a murder. She goes by the name Orange Snow Stitching Souls. And in her twisted logic, she has an ability to “help” people by fragmenting out parts of their soul and stitching the pieces back together as a means to “forget the things that pain them.” Essentially she goes around as a ghost observing people’s lives and if person A hurts person B, she makes person A forget about person B by cutting the memory out of their soul.
In this case, FX and ghost!SL meet shortly after FX leaves Xie Lian, so SL wants to force FX to forget about XL. She knows XL as the prince, AND she knows that FX was close with him. So “why not?” Feng Xin of course does not want this and resists. This conflict is LARGE. Plot standing AND in terms of fighting. It’s a huge turning point for them both in different ways.
3. How did Shen Liang feel when Feng Xin ascended? Was there even the tiniest bit of pride at having her didi become a God?
Another banger of a question. Since Feng Xin ascends after Shen Liang has become a low-ish level ghost, her reactions are… without nuance. But in short, yeah I’d like to think there was some pride there, yes. And during the 2nd time they meet, absolutely. She is incredibly proud. <- a full and healed soul will do that to a girl 😊
4. Does Feng Xin ever get angry about how badly his sister treated him? And does he ever tell Shen Liang the extent as to how badly she hurt him emotionally?
Tricky question. Short answer to the first part? Yes. He’s actually incredibly angry at her once he learns that’s *not* how siblings, or ANYONE should be treated. This reaction is incredibly delayed tho. Not until after their 2nd meeting does he fully understand. And yes, he’s angry at her, and also grieving the jiejie she could’ve been for him. He’s not sure if not having a sister altogether would’ve been better or worse. And yes, he does tell her during their first meeting as ghost and human. A lot of things he’s been holding back are let loose during that time. He’s just lost Xie Lian, his whole purpose, Shen Liang then makes things impossibly worse.
5. In one of your posts, Hua Cheng introduces Feng Xin to his mother. Why would he do that?
Another great question! And I say this because this time *I don’t fucking know* lolol
This is one plot points I need to somehow make happen. General idea is neither of them know who the other is exactly, but they meet as a god and ghost both in disguise in a village. All they know is they are two of the FEW that have fond memories of their fav god, the Crown Prince of Xianle who pleased the gods and, in a perfect world, would like to see him (ascend) again.
The other half is that Hua Cheng (pre tonglu era btw) has been accompanied by a ghost flame he found and cared for because 1. She reminds him of his own mother and 2. He reminds her of her son. AND they share lineage from the same foreign kingdom.
HC is smart. FXs story of a lost mother, and Shen Wangxi’s story of dying in childbirth and never seeing her son grow up, fit together… so he makes a metaphorical bet on it. And obviously, he wins. This is also when FX gets to KEEP HIS MOM WITH HIM for the next large chunk of time (yay!!!) until he runs into his jiejie for the 2nd time. (im still working on a concrete timeline for this but its at least 100 years)
6. If Xie Lian ever found out about Feng Xin’s childhood, would he be angry with Shen Liang on FX’s behalf?
To a point, yes I think he would. I think he would also be a little angry that FX never really told him about his family when he was serving as a bodyguard. FX still assures him it was improper. In post-extras canon times, they do talk about this explicitly. It’s one of those “this conversation should have happened ages ago but neither of us knew how to bring it up” type things. Unfortunately for Feng Xin, this information is forced out of (in this case its actually “into”) him due to the death of one particular memory-eating monster in the amnesia extra (does anyone see where im sorta going with this? …ehe…)
Thanks for these! Getting to your 2nd ask soon!
'til next time *salutes*
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m4rgera · 2 years
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being married to jackass ★ headcannons
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authors note : so sorry about the lack of works posted! ngl i ain’t even busy i just keep forgetting to write. sorry for no ehren or dave, theres will be coming soon!
chris ★
- so giddy about planning the wedding. every day he just has a new magazine he’s flipping through with flowers in it, finding venues, he’s genuinely excited about it.
- you didn’t really want a huge wedding but chris really wanted one, so you met in the middle.
- nothing much really changes after you get married (besides that chris wants a bunch of little pontius’ asap)
- will use any excuse to refer to you as his wife.
- loves the fact that you two are fr married.
- definitely cried at the wedding
- ofc you were excited to be married, but chris was ecstatic.
- always on set with him after that. you visited him before you were married, but after you started going as much as you could.
- you were already close but grew even closer.
- got married pretty quickly, only dated for around 6-11 months.
- “I'm just saying if the cake isn't chocolate ill be a little disappointed.”
bam ★
- mad embarrassed while proposing.
- and at the wedding, stuttering and fumbling over his words while reading vows. mf would be adorable.
- he can’t stop talking about it when you two are alone. the months leading up to it were hell, only cause all you would hear every day out of him was “wedding blah blah, honey moon blah blah.” ofc you loved it, but it gets a bit annoying after a month or two.
- the wedding was pretty small, but the honeymoon was over the top.
- so fucking sweet as a husband. 24/7 he’s just like “do you need anything? want any water?”
- mf is whipped HARD for you
- everyone teases him for it too.
- wouldn’t really want kids for a while.
- yall dated for probably about 2-4 years. wanted to wait just cause you both felt like you were a little young.
- also april did most of the planning, she was more excited to pick out the flowers and venue than for her own son actually getting married.
- “well is basically a given that im gonna be recording the entire wedding babe.”
johnny ★
- had a pretty small wedding. a couple of friends, mostly family though.
-your honeymoon wasn’t really that big either, y’all just wanted to get married and didn’t wanna spend a whole lot of time planning the wedding.
- feels horrible about spending so much time on work after the wedding, so he tries to focus more on you and family instead of work for a while.
- definitely wants kids but wants to wait until he can take time away from jackass + work until having any.
- yall were dating for what felt like fucking centuries. waiting like five-seven years to get married probably, mostly because you didn't have time for a wedding.
- takes his ring off before every stunt, he would feel horrible if he lost it and knows there's a chance it could fall off on set.
- a very cliche married couple, except you don't argue too much. when you do there very mundane things that never lead to huge arguments ofc.
- cant stop talking about you, kinda like bam. (:
- “trust me, y/n would think this is hilarious if they were here.”
- he tries to do fewer stunts that could seriously injure him.
steveo ★
- spent half of your wedding-planning budget on the ring alone. 
- really wanted to go all out on the proposal. he had rose petals, candles, fucking anything you can imagine.
- he really didn’t want a wedding, just wanted to get eloped right away.
- so that’s exactly what you did, you held a little celebration afterwards. otherwise there really was no wedding. mainly because he was really busy with filming/work.
- definitely had a wedding ceremony in the future tho.
- neither of you ever wanted kids, so that was pushed off the table very quickly.
- however a few dogs and cats…
- you were already living together prior to marriage but y’all like fr bought a house together.
- nothing romantic-wise really changed. legally you just had the papers now saying y’all were married/together.
- “i’m ok with a big wedding if your ok with a big wedding, but i’m also ok with no wedding at all.”
ryan ★
- know that show on tlc where it was these girls having huge ass weddings? that’s you, y’all had a big wedding just like that.
- i’m talking big poofy dress, long ass veil, big extravagant table centers at the reception, the whole package.
- i think you just decided it should be memorable, and if your gonna do it you gotta do it right.
- after the wedding kinda like chris he uses any excuse to refer to you as his wife.
- kinda like he’s proud to be married to you??? like in the most polite way possible he wants to show you off.
- you didn’t live together prior to marriage so ofc y’all had to buy a house.
- kinda on the edge with if y’all want kids or not . maybe later on after being married for a few years.
- y’all had been dating for a long ass time. like 5-7 years.
- “i’m just saying the bigger the diamond on the ring the better.”
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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months
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Hi! Just found your bog and I really like how you write Tim/Masky. So could I request Tim/Masky and EJ with a very caring reader, reader is mother hen-ish and gets worried about them not taking care of themselves while reader themselves doesn’t take care of themselves much either. Hope that makers sense, have a great day!
Tim/Masky and Eyeless Jack x mother hen!reader but they're a hypocrite
Giving tim and masky separate parts since I do write them just sliiiiiiightly different to each other !! Glad to hear you like my silly lil take on this dude! Was/is definitely hard to get him down while trying to appease two fandoms 😭😭
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MASKY
He wont exactly stop you from treating any of his wounds when he comes home, but hes not going to be thrilled. The only time he would seek out your help is if he cant reach it. Very stubborn, while yes hes not trying to go out of his way to get hurt hes not going to be making sure hes staying totally safe when hes out doing his.. thing.. oh if you could only see his face when he sees you not drinking your water after you hound him for not staying hydrated.. he might actually try to force you to drink or get a snack. When it comes to sleep he physically holds you to him in bed.. he might not be tired himself but if this is the only way you'll get to bed then so be it
TIM
Hes a little more accepting of help than his counterpart, though its mostly out of confusion as he doesnt know where his wounds come from. Actually he can't really remember the night prior.. assuming you're unaware of everything going on with him, you just try to patch him up. Thankfully it's not usually anything more than small cuts and scrapes. Sometimes theres bruises.. moving on tim can also be a bit of hypocrite like you. He insists you take care of yourself but he forgets to apply the same standard to him.. it's not that he intentionally is holding a double standard, he just genuinely either forgets or doesnt have the energy. Mental illness can do that to someone and it sucks. But it can be turned into you both trying to do better for each other, and it sort of becomes a system.. that'd be sweet, I think, you both uplift each other over time
EYELESS JACK
All things considered, hes fairly good at taking care of himself. Granted, there will be real consequences if he doesnt.. for him and you.. so he cant take many chances. Look, missing a meal when you're a man eating demon who goes rabid when hungry is.. not the best. He doesn't want to take any chances, so even if it mentally messes with him to eat his food he still toughs it out because it's better that the alternative. I guess theres a plus that he technically doesnt need to sleep to function.. semi good enough. Actually if anything hes the one scolding you for not taking care of yourself. Being the one being looked after.. feels weird to jack..
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ik theres a lot of ppl talking in extremes for both sides in the comments of the newspost (obviously wrong) but tbh i wasnt expecting to see so much cope + brown nosing in favor of the team?? like i agree with the sentiment we should give the new co leads a fair chance and shouldnt shit on them immediately obv, but at the same time i have no idea how people are spinning this around like "you dont know their situation for when they committed fraud🥺" and "the post was super clear shut the fuck up so what if theyre keeping them". whole thing just kinda went to shit LMFAO (also were they fr deleting comments mentioning that takaia would be paid if they were still on the dev team??? 💀). like ill wait untill they make a budget post to see if they'll really be more transparent about everything, but it also feels a little bit like theyre trying to string the community along until a lot of people just sort of forget or something
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