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#they take out their worst on each other but at the same time it's like they were *made* for each other
patscorner · 2 days
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write a Paige fic with them being rivals on the court but secret lovers off the court please and thank you patty🫶
yes ma'am 🫡
Always and Forever
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Summary: You and Paige hate each other, or that's what you have everyone else thinking.
wc: 1,780
Contains: swearing, two kisses, just fluff
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For as long as you could remember, you loved basketball. You don't know when it started, but you knew that it was gonna be your future career. You joined your first team in 5th grade, and quickly became MVP, making progress faster than you could blink.
There was another girl in your class, and for whatever reason, she hated you. She also happened to be on the same basketball team. She made it known she didn't like you, because the first day of tryouts, she shoved you for no reason. Her hatred for you didn't stop there though, she refused to pass the ball to you, even if it meant costing your team a game, or taking unnecessary risks.
Nobody knew why she disliked you, but that animosity only grew as you both did. But there wasn't anything you could do, you both loved basketball, and you weren't gonna stop playing because some kid didn't like you.
But what you didn't know is that she felt the exact opposite. She was so painfully in love with you and so deep in the closet that she didn't know what to do with these feelings. Her only solution was to make you hate her.
Another thing you didn't know is that you felt the exact same way. If an outsider were to look at you two, you'd think it was one of the most intense long lasting rivalries of all time. But you two were head over heels for each other.
You only found out your junior year in high school, because the teachers and coaches were tired of you both bickering. They put you two in a room and told you to figure your shit out. Obviously, it started in a screaming match, but eventually you both grew tired of arguing, and a different type of tension filled the room.
You both start to have an actual conversation, without the arguing and fighting. Of course, there were small jabs at each other, you both still weren't friends, but by the end of the day, you weren’t enemies. Nobody knew that you were gay, so the only solution in your eyes was to pretend to hate each other.
Eventually, she admitted her feelings for you, and you didn't say you liked her back, but instead answered with a kiss. You started dating shortly after, and decided to keep your relationship on the down low. You both know it's for the best, as not everyone was open to the idea of you being gay, including your parents, so you both continued pretending to hate each other.
Even if everybody else thought you couldn’t stand each other, you were so head over heels for the kid who hated you for all of elementary and middle school.
Little did you know that kid would end up being the Paige Bueckers.
“So how does it feel being matched up against Paige Bueckers? I know that you guys have a long history.” the reporter asks, her smile matching yours. Oh, you have history. She's been your girlfriend for about five years now, but the media didn't know.
You and her were never super far from each other, since she got accepted to Uconn, and you got a scholarship to CCSU. The colleges were only thirty-five minutes away from each other, so that made seeing each other much easier.
“Yeah, it's gonna be tough, she's a good basketball player, y’know, great defense, amazing three-pointers.” You smile at the camera. “I'm excited, I can't wait to absolutely destroy her. I've done it before, and I'll do it again, no problem.”
The reporter chuckles at your words. “Big talk, can't wait to see the match up. Anything last words for Paige?” You can't help but smile at the reporter’s egging you on.
“Yeah, give me your worst, Bueckers. I'm coming for you, baby.” You say with a wink, before thanking the reporter, and walking away. You can't help but shake your head at the ridiculousness of your empty words. Everyone but Paige thought you were being serious, and to an extent you were, you had a bet with her that you'd score more than twenty points this game, but the rest was bullshit.
Of course, Paige saw the interview, laughing at your ‘seriousness’. So when it was her turn to be interviewed, she had to say something back.
“I mean, it'll be a fun game. Can't wait to see the big game that CCSU’s ‘top player’ was yapping about.” She throws up hand quotations and tilts her head mockingly as she speaks. “I'm excited to bring her hell and knock her off that tall ass high horse she's sat herself on.”
The reporter is eating up every word coming out of Paige’s mouth.
“Lots of trash talk from both ends, it seems the feud continues?” Paige nods and smiles. “Always and forever.” She winks at the camera as she speaks.
Always and forever.
The words Paige made you repeat back to her when she gave you the promise ring that you had safety-pinned to your jersey at all times. When you first put it there, it sent the media into a spiral, rumors spreading like wildfires. When interviewers finally asked you about it, you said there was someone, but the rumors about who were all incorrect.
Nobody would've guessed Paige, and you both made sure to keep it that way.
The game was just as tough as you imagined it would be. With 4 seconds left in the fourth quarter, the score was tied, 89-89. It was the Huskies ball, and they had one chance to win.
Nika passes the ball to Aubrey from out-of-bounds, starting the shot clock. Aubrey sneaks past defense, and attempts to pass into Paige. But, Aubrey's defender blocks the shot with her fingers, sending the ball flying into your hands.
You react quickly, sprinting back towards the basket, watching as the shot clock hits one second. You're only half-court, but you don't have enough time to get any closer, so you take the risk and let the ball fly.
Just as the ball leaves your hands, the buzzer goes off, and the stadium goes silent as the ball soars through the air. You freeze as you watch the ball fall through the net, the crowd erupting into screams. Your shot went in, making the final score 92-89.
You're immediately surrounded by your teammates, who are chest bumping you, and dapping you up. This moment is something you never want to end, but there's something missing. This moment won't be the same without one thing.
You manage to wiggle free from your extremely hyped up teammates, ignoring your name being called as you make your way to the Uconn bench. You try to ignore the eyes on you, as you find the only person you want to ever have to look for.
When you spot the back of her head, you quickly make your way to her before your confidence runs out. You pull her sleeve, and her eyebrows furrow as she makes eye contact with you.
“What-” She starts, but you cut her off.
“I'm going to kiss you now.” You say, but you don't move. You want to make sure this is what she wants, but as the smile grows on her face, her compliance becomes clear.
“Okay.” she nods as her face turns a bright pink.
You grin as you pull her into a searing kiss, her hands finding your waist as she reciprocates your passion. You hear the gasps around you, which only makes you smile more. When you feel Paige grin against your mouth, you wrap your arms around her neck.
She pulls away, laughing as your whine. Even though there's thousands of people in the room, she only cares about you. “Guess they know now.” she chuckles.
“Paige Madison Bueckers! What the fuck?!” KK screams, causing Paige to roll her eyes and look over her shoulder. “Can I help you?” She deadpans. “I'm a little busy right now.”
KK’s jaw drops even more from the audacity. "I can see that, I better be filled in after."
Paige looks back at you and smiles. “Yeah, later. Now, do you mind?”
“Oh, by all means, continue making out with your arch-nemesis. Don't let me, the six giant cameras, or the sold-out arena stop you.”
You laugh at this, kissing Paige’s cheek before pulling away. You look at your team, and around the stadium, and everyone's sharing the same expression, jaws dropped, eyes wide, and frozen in shock. You look up, and see yourself on the big screen.
Paige smiles down at you, her arm still wrapped around your waist. “I can't believe you did that. You're fucking crazy.”
You shrug and smile. “You love it.”
She kisses the top of your head. “Damn right.”
After the excitement of the kiss calmed down, the same reporter from earlier asked to interview both of you, to which you of course said yes.
“So what is your guys’ relationship status?” She asked, pointing the mic in your direction. You smile widely before answering. “Paige is my girlfriend, and she has been for five, almost six years.”
The reporter shakes her head in shock. “What made you guys choose to keep it a secret and cover it up with a seemingly harsh feud?” This time, she hands the mic to Paige, who shakes her head.
“Well, it started out real. Like I could not stand her, ever since we were on the same basketball team in fifth grade. But eventually, I started to like her, then I started to love her. Turns out she liked me too, so in high school we started to date.” She finished with a shrug.
“Oh wow, I mean this is a shock to everyone. You both played it off very well. What were some of the hardest moments?” You nod as the reporter speaks.
“Probably pretending to not care, especially if one of us has a rough loss or a great win. It was hard not to comfort or celebrate publicly.” You say.
“So everything after junior year in high school was fake? The rivalry, I mean.”
You smile. “Yeah, it was all for the cameras.” Paige’s eyes light up as she looks down at you. The camera picked up on the sparkle in her eyes as she looked at you with nothing but love.
Her hands squeeze your waist as the interview ends, and you both walk away. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and you've never felt happier.
You knew that whether the world knew or not, it was gonna be you and her.
Always and forever.
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taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerslover @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris
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With her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean - poly!marauders x slytherin!reader
Summary: Preparing for the dreaded OWLs proves to be a difficult task for one tightly-wound Slytherin. How do Remus, James, and Sirius each offer assistance, and how does she handle it?
Notes: No Voldemort, but pureblood elitism is still very much a thing. Story starts at the end of the Marauders and Reader’s fifth year. I don’t know the most about all the Marauders Era headcanons so I kind of did what I wanted, sorry if you don’t like it. 
Tags: Angst, fluff, traumatized Slytherins, pureblood elitism, slightly mean!reader
Words: ~7.8k
p.1
I huffed as I reached for another heavy book on the shelf from one of the dark back corners of the library. I wasn’t in the restricted section just yet, but getting close to it. Between the weight of the other five books stacked in my arm and the height of the shelf I was trying to reach I nearly dropped them all. 
“Careful, there, Princess. Might break something lugging around all those books,” someone said next to me. I nearly jumped as I hadn’t noticed anyone come down this same aisle. 
I shot a glare at him for startling me. It was none other than Remus Lupin, one of those pesky Gryffindors who was constantly fighting me for my space at the top of the class. My glare intensified when I realized who it was.
“Yes, and it would sure be a shame if I managed to drop these on your foot and break something there,” I snarked. 
He looked amused at me. “Whoa, Princess, no need to get feisty with me. I was just going to offer my assistance.”
“And what kind of assistance should I accept from you when you’re just as likely to try and trick me?” Lupin gave me a weary look. Typical of Gryffindors to think everyone is as blindly trusting as them.
“No tricks, Princess, just offering a bit of help,” he said with a shrug.
“Would you stop that? Stop calling me that,” I snapped at him before turning back to the book I needed. Before I could make a second attempt to reach for it, Remus stepped up next to me and I froze. But then he grabbed the book for me and set it on top of my stack then took a step back. 
“Not a fan of your nickname?” He was of course referring to me being known as Slytherin’s Princess. Sometimes I like to pretend the nickname came about because I’m always top of the class, making my house proud, but I know the real reason is because I come from a wealthy, pureblood, Slytherin family and everyone thought me rather spoiled. 
“I am not some simpering girl in need of a man to save her and it’ll do good for the people in this school to remember that.” Despite his significant height, I lifted my chin to Remus Lupin and dared him to say otherwise. 
“Of course, of course,” he agrees, nodding his head and holding up his hands. “But you are Slytherin’s Princess, aren’t you?” His eyes light up in amusement at my frustration. 
My nostrils flare as I hold back my anger. It doesn’t do me any good to blow up at some stupid Gryffindor, not when that is exactly what he wants and I am not in the business of giving Gryffindors what they want.
Instead, I turn to walk away. Take the high-ground as they say. 
“Wait, wait, I’m sorry!” Remus calls after me, quickly catching up to and following me. “Seriously, dove, I’m sorry. I was only joking. Please, let me help you with whatever on earth you could possibly need all these books for.”
I stop abruptly and turn toward him. “And why should I accept help from someone like you?” I nearly growl at him, barely holding back my frustrations.
Remus looks taken aback by my words. “Someone like me? You mean a half-blood?”
It’s my turn to be startled by him. “I mean a Gryffindor,” I bite out. This was exactly why I couldn’t stand this brutish group, they were always so quick to jump to outrageous assumptions, thinking the worst of someone like me just because I’m in Slytherin.
He looks relieved and confused at the same time, but I don’t really care to help him unpack his complex emotions about the exact reasoning behind why I don’t trust him. 
I dump my books down onto the table I had claimed earlier and began to scour the table of contents in the first one. Uninvited, Remus took the chair next to me and began looking over my shoulder at the book. 
“Can I help you, Lupin? Or are you just interested in being a nuisance?” 
“I’m glad to be a nuisance any day, but as I’ve said before I was actually hoping to help you.”
“And as I’ve said before I’m not looking for any help.” 
“But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Is that this close to our OWLs you’re scouring books for something that you think you’ve missed, but you’ve been at the top of our classes all year, so I highly doubt you’ve managed to miss anything of real importance.” I give him a confused look, trying to discern how he’s figured me out so easily. Except he’s wrong, of course, I did somehow manage to lose the year a specific herb was realized to have certain medicinal properties. “So now I’m trying to answer the question of what does little miss Slytherin Princess think that she desperately needs to know, and will that really be the determining factor in her score on her OWLs?”
I glance around to make sure no one else is listening to me admitting defeat in front of a Gryffindor. “I don’t have the year we began to use hyssop to treat earaches,” I murmur. 
Remus’s face seems to fall at my admission. “That’s what you’re so concerned about? A minor herb’s medicinal use? Not even that, you already know that, but what year that was discovered? That is such a niche detail, there is absolutely no way Sprout asks us that.”
I roll my eyes. “Obviously Sprout’s not going to ask us about that, it’s Binns that I’m worried about,” I explain. Although I really shouldn’t be giving my enemy any help in preparing for our upcoming tests. I was just as desperate to best him on these tests as I’m sure he was me. 
“Binns?” He asks, outraged. “Binns would never ask about that in a million years.”
“You don’t know that, no one knows that. We had a lecture on the history of medicinal herbs, hyssop was one of them.”
“And so you really think that from that one lecture he’s going to ask us when hyssop was discovered to help with earaches?”
“I was reviewing my notes and I had written down the year but it got smudged.”
“You’re actually a raving lunatic,” Remus tells me. He looks around the library like he might get up and leave, but then he turns back to me. “I realize these are the most important tests of the year, but I think you have way overestimated the difficulty of the questions that will be on them.”
“And I think you can never be too safe.”
We hold each other’s gaze for several moments. Remus finally blinks and then sighs. “Confound it all, fine. Hand me one.” He holds his hand out expectantly. 
I stare at him, confused. 
“Well? Are we going to look for this blasted year or not?” I blink out of my stupor and hand him one of the books I had grabbed. 
We sit in silence for a long while, pouring over the texts. The only sound in this part of the library is us turning pages. The first book I look through doesn’t contain my answer, and neither must the book Remus has. Although I am tempted to go back later and double check he didn’t find it and not tell me in an effort to trick me. 
After I get through two more books and Remus goes through three, I can’t stop myself from asking the question that had been nagging in the back of my head the entire time. 
“Why exactly are you helping me? Surely you’d much rather be focused on your own studying.”
Remus slowly pulls his attention away from the book in front of him. He blinks at me and then furrows his brows. “Sorry, I know you said something, I just didn’t quite catch what,” he admits. 
I can’t help the small laugh at his honesty. “Why are you helping me? I thought you’d want to be studying for your OWLs.”
“I am studying for my OWLs,” he replies, tauntingly. I roll my eyes at him. 
“Come on, you know what I meant,” I push. 
He shrugs and I think that’s going to be all the answer I get, then after a pause he says, “you’ve intrigued me. I’m curious now to find out when we started using hyssop for earaches.” There’s something about his tone that’s off, but I mark it down to him just teasing me. “Besides, I’m already plenty prepared to get a perfect score and take my spot at the top of the class.”
I laugh at his taunting. “Clearly not prepared enough if you’re not well versed in the history of hyssop,” I tease back. 
He gives me a winning smile and something in my chest stutters at it. I must just be unsettled by his obviously false flattery. 
“Can I ask you something in return?” He asks after a moment. 
I consider him, then reply, “I don’t promise to answer, but you’re welcome to ask.” 
He smiles again and this time it feels like my heart has been squeezed just a bit. “Well I suppose that’s fair. But are you always so…” he trails off and I get nervous at where he’s going with this. “Well, are you always so intense about knowing every little detail?” He finally finishes. 
It must be relief that floods my veins when he doesn’t ask anything backhanded or rude. I actually give him a smile before glancing down at my lap. 
“I have to be, don’t I? There’s one way to stay where I am and it’s by rigorous study,” I admit. 
“Is it really so important to stay at the top that you have to obsess like this, though?” 
I think back to what happened when I would slack off with my studies at home before coming to Hogwarts. I can’t help the way my face falls at the memories. 
“I suppose it might not be so important to a Gryffindor, but success is a high priority in Slytherin,” I finally respond. It seems when I don’t know how to react I lash out, although Remus is lucky to have caught me in a good mood as I let him off rather easily. 
Nonetheless he still looks a bit dejected by my response. I feel a bit bad for shutting him down when we had been starting to get along rather well. 
“We should probably focus on the matter at hand, though, if we ever want to find our answer before curfew,” I say, returning to the book in front of me. 
“Right…” Remus murmurs. Part of me expects him to leave at that point, after all that’s when everyone else does. He surprises me when he stays and doubles down his efforts. 
I open my mouth, to say what I’m not entirely sure. I close my mouth again when I realize that I want to apologize. There’s no way that Remus wants some half baked apology from me. 
Time passes in silence, the both of us occupied with our search, but my mind keeps wandering to the way I had snapped at Remus. I didn’t understand why he had sat down to help me, but I shouldn’t have antagonized him for asking a simple question. It wasn’t his fault that the answer wasn’t so simple. 
I can’t help stealing glances of him every few minutes, which significantly hinders my speed in reading my book, but Remus doesn't seem to notice and I can’t get myself to stop. This means that I notice almost immediately when Remus freezes suddenly. I try not to react, not wanting to have been caught looking.
“Holy shit!” He nearly shouts, someone nearby shushes him loudly, but he’s too busy jumping out of his seat to mind. “Oh, Merlin’s beard I actually found it!” He whispers loudly this time and pumps his fist. Standing at his height above me while I sit next to him I have to strain my neck to look up at his face, but it’s such a beautiful sight with how excited he is.
“You mean you actually found the year?” I ask, matching his excitement.
He nods enthusiastically at me then points to the line of text that contains the answer we’d spent hours searching for. “Yes, yes, look! It’s right there.”
We celebrate as quietly as we can and I quickly jot down the information into my notes. 
“Oh, thank you, Remus! You’ve just saved me probably three hours.” I stand to join him. It’s then that I finally check the time and realize just how close it is to curfew. “Ah, shit,” I murmur. “We should turn in for the night. I don’t fancy having a run-in with Filch tonight.”
“Let me walk you to your dorm?” Remus offers.
“What? It’s nearly curfew, you’ll risk getting in trouble with Filch. No, I’m perfectly capable of seeing myself to my dorms for the night,” I reply firmly. 
“Don’t worry about me, dove, I can handle myself. Let me walk you to your dorm.” This time Remus sounds more like he’s telling me than asking me. Nevertheless I nod in agreement and we make our way to the Slytherin common room in the dungeons. 
On the way down, Remus teases me lightly about how obsessed I must be to dedicate so much effort into finding such a small detail. I tease him back about him being a nerd for helping me look for the answer. It’s lighthearted and easy and part of me thinks I could get used to having Remus as a friend. Another part of me questions what it would look like for me to be friends with a Gryffindor and whether my parents would approve or not. Then the first part kicks the second part for being such a self-obsessed ass. 
Just outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room I wave goodbye to Remus and wish him a good night. I try not to blush when he calls me “dove,” and dart into the safety of the common room. 
The next few weeks Remus seems to make it a habit of running into me in the library when I would otherwise be alone. In the past I had tried studying with Narcissa or Andromeda but the pair of them had bad habits of wanting to chat while I wanted to actually study, so my time in the library had previously been spent alone. 
Remus was different, though. He understood my desire to focus on the material in front of me and not whether or not his hair was looking frizzier than normal. 
Before I knew it I had come to rather enjoy his company. It felt almost reassuring that there was someone else who was similarly interested in studying, but wanted to do it with me. Somehow it was like studying at the same table as him made studying that much better, even if nothing of substance had changed. 
On a Saturday morning, a couple weeks before we were to begin taking our OWLs, I went out to the Black Lake just before the sun rose. I had slept fitfully, getting more and more nervous for the tests ahead of me. There was so much pressure to do good on these, I didn’t know what I would do if I were anything less than perfect. 
I don’t know why exactly I came out here, I just knew that I needed fresh air. Without much else of a plan, I sat down at the trunk of a tree and pulled out my wand. I practiced a couple small charms and transfigurations on the branches and rocks around me. 
“I’d say that rock doesn’t stand a chance against you, but I’d like to know what it did to deserve such treatment in the first place.”
I dropped the spell I had been using to propel the rock in the air and it fell swiftly. There likely wasn’t anyone in the school who I would not have been shocked to see, but I was especially shocked it was none other than James Potter. He’s a fairly popular boy my age in Gryffindor, mostly known for his outspokenness and disruptive behavior. If my memory serves me right, which it always does, he’s actually friends with Remus Lupin.
“What are you doing out here so early?” I can’t help but ask.
“I could ask the same of you,” he points out. I finally take him in at that moment. He’s wearing loose shorts and an old Gryffindor quidditch t-shirt that he’s cut the bottom half off to show off his athletic build. His curly hair is a mess atop his head, but I get the notion it’s always like that. When I meet his eyes I’m struck by how blue they are that I can notice even with him standing several feet in front of me. I can’t help but think to myself how pretty he is. He gives me a dorky smile, as if used to the attention but still not sure how to respond.
“Couldn’t sleep so well. Thought some fresh air would do me some good,” I finally answer, not acknowledging how I’d just been looking at him.
“Some fresh air and tormenting rocks?” He teases.
“Is that all you think we Slytherins do? Torment everything?” I huff. 
His face twists at my response. “No, no that’s not what I meant at all. It was just a joke, most people laugh at them.”
I sigh and lean back against the trunk of the tree. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit on edge,” I admit, though I’m not sure why I feel the urge to open up to this next to perfect stranger.
James takes a few steps closer and I tense up, but he just takes a seat next to me under the tree. “What’s got you so on edge?” 
“Is that another one of your jokes? The OWLs obviously.”
“Oh, right. I suppose those are coming up soon.” He pauses and tears some grass in front of him. “What’re you stressed over those for?” 
My brows pinch together and I stare at him like he’s grown a second head. “They’re only the most important tests of the entire school year, of our entire schooling career thus far! These will determine our entire futures.”
It’s James’s turn to look at me like I’m crazy. “They’re just another test, though. And I really don’t see how they’ll determine our entire futures,” he says plainly. 
I scoff and roll my eyes. Leave it to a Gryffindor to blow off something so important. 
“Look, I know you’ve got this whole thing about being perfect in every subject and staying ahead of everyone else, so I’ll make you a deal.” I turn to him, my interest piqued. “If you do any less than perfect on each of your OWLs, I’ll turn all the professor’s hair purple,” he offers.
My jaw drops at his suggestion. “What on earth would that accomplish?”
“Well I figure people won’t be talking about what grade you got on your OWLs if they’re too busy talking about Dumbledore with a lilac beard,” he’s laughing even as he says it. I laugh, too, at that image. 
“Make it bright pink and I’ll help you,” I reply through giggles. 
James gives me his award-winning dorky smile and I can’t tear my eyes away. 
“Seriously, though, I’ll bet you’ve already gotten perfect scores on every other test this year, there can’t be anyone else more prepared than you.”
“Thank you,” I mumble, not used to outright compliments that weren’t also an insult. My gaze falls to where James is still fiddling with the grass. “A bit antsy, are you?”
“Sorry,” he sighs, “I’ve been trying to work on that. I actually came out here to go for a run, it helps me burn some of my extra energy before the day so I can focus a bit better.”
I can’t imagine wanting to start the day by burning through energy, I often woke up with barely enough to make it through the day. 
“Oh, I’m sorry to be keeping you. I can go back inside if you want to run by yourself,” I offer and even before I finish talking, I’m pushing to stand up. 
“No, no you’re fine!” He’s quick to reassure me. “Please, stay. Actually if you want you could join me, it might help you clear your mind.”
I consider for a moment before deciding to agree. There couldn’t be much harm in it, it was still at least another hour before most people would get up for the day and I didn’t have anything better to do. 
While we run I can’t help glancing over to James, who’s clearly in his own world.
The sun began to peak over the horizon, slowly illuminating our path. At one point the sun is behind James when I steal another glance at him, and the way the light catches on his features makes him look like a real life angel.
James proves to be right, the run did help me to clear my mind. When we stop back where we had started I’m feeling significantly lighter than before, even if I am breathing significantly heavier. 
“That was… fun,” I am slow to admit. “Thank you, Potter.”
“Anytime, darling.” He gives me another goofy smile. “Feel free to join me whenever you like, I come out at the same time everyday.”
“I just might take you up on that.”
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I take James Potter up on his offer every day for a week straight. I quickly come to enjoy the ritual of it, waking up before dawn, sneaking out of my dorm, getting the fresh air and clearing my mind before the day. 
James’s presence was a reassuring one, even if we didn’t always talk much. I had the sense that he would listen to anything I needed to say and offer encouragement. 
As our OWLs loom ever closer I come to rely on our runs to center me in the mornings more and more, but I also question how long James will continue to let me join him. He never says anything to indicate he doesn’t want me to join, though, so I take him at face value and keep meeting him under our tree every morning. 
The night before we’re to start our OWLs I find myself unable to sleep for even a minute. Of course this wasn’t a problem for my dorm mates who had fallen asleep at least two hours ago. 
I toss and turn, thinking that maybe if I could just get comfortable I could get to sleep. Of course I have no such luck. Eventually I decide that drastic times call for drastic measures. 
I don’t have to worry about being too quiet as I climb out of my bed, pull on a jumper, and slip on my sneakers. I’ve mastered this routine from sneaking out for my morning runs. 
Two years prior Narcissa was sniffling and sneezing her brains out, but didn’t want to wake Madam Pomfrey for medicine. Andromeda insisted we could take care of her ourselves, she just needed a good, hot cup of tea to clear her system. I never knew where she learned it, but she showed me a way to slip into the kitchens undetected. She then showed me which cabinet to find the herbs in, and also which herbs were the right ones. And then she showed me how to use the kettle. 
It was amazing how much better Narcissa was able to sleep after she finished her cup of tea, and the next day she was right as rain. I quickly became obsessed with the simple magic behind a “good cup of tea” and asked Andromeda to tell me everything she knew about the different recipes and ingredients. When her knowledge proved to be rather limited I went on a rampage in the library until I was satisfied─ a good two weeks later. 
My plan was a simple blend to help me sleep and settle my nerves. Chamomile and cinnamon was sounding particularly tasty, although I was considering whether I might like lavender with rosemary more. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice at first there was already someone else in the kitchens. Thankfully when I did I only jumped a little. 
Confused, I stared at Sirius Black as he took a kettle off one of the stoves. He gave me an amused look in return. 
“Couldn’t sleep either?” He guessed.
“No, I’m quite afraid not.”
He gave me a sad smile in understanding. “Have a seat, I’ll make you a cup,” he offered. I can’t say why I listened, but I did. Maybe in a moment of weakness before a highly stressful event I didn’t care that I didn’t know him much, I just wanted to let someone take care of me. 
“Any preference on what kind?” He asks.
“Hmm, I was debating between chamomile with cinnamon or lavender with rosemary,” I say. Then, because I can’t help myself, I proceed to list off my many thoughts on the benefits of each ingredient and what might best suit my current situation. 
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice that Sirius has made a decision for me and already started steeping the herbs in the water. I’ve somehow veered off onto what might make a good combination if Sirius was having a headache, or if his headache was caused by a cold and he had other symptoms what could help with that. 
To his credit, he never once interrupts or even looks bored. In fact the entire time he seems to regard me with mild amusement, and I begin to get the impression that everything he encounters in life amuses him. 
I don’t even stop rambling about tea when he sets my cup in front of me. After taking a sip, I start to tell him how very fond I am of lemon balm, then pause when I finally realize the cup of tea is already made. 
For the first time since Sirius asked what kind of tea I wanted, he is finally given a chance to say something. “Are you sure you weren’t meant to be in Ravenclaw?”
I scoff at his suggestion. “Don’t be absurd, Slytherins can be just as studious as Ravenclaws, we just typically hold our cards a little closer to our chest.”
“Right.” He nods. “This was you holding your cards close to your chest?” He then questions.
“Well it’s not like there’s any great secret behind tea. And besides, even if I haven’t been able to sleep I am quite tired.” A yawn escapes me just then to prove my point. “Narcissa always complains about my tendency to ramble when I’m tired.”
“Why would she complain? I found it rather entertaining,” he says, lightheartedly. Even though his tone has a hint of joking to it, I feel like he’s being honest. 
I give him a small smile before taking another sip from my cup. It’s still quite hot, but the flavors are still strong. “Mmm, this is quite delicious,” I compliment. “Is it chamomile with… rosemary?” 
Sirius gives me a proud grin. “Ten points to Slytherin,” he jokes. A smile falls on my face. 
“What have you made for yourself?” I ask, glancing at his cup. 
“Vanilla and rose.” 
“That sounds lovely. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before.”
“James’s mum makes it for us all the time. Do you want to try a sip?” He offers. I nod quickly and he passes over his cup. Sure enough it’s a delightful mixture. I tell him such and he tells me the measurements so that I can make it for myself. 
“So what’s keeping you up on this otherwise peaceful night?” Sirius asks.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I groan. He looks at me dumbly, confused as to what the obvious answer might be. “We start our OWLs tomorrow,” I scoff. 
“Merlin, you can’t really be this stressed about it.” He sounds disbelieving, though I’m not sure why. 
“I can and I am,” I say, matter-of-factly. He rolls his eyes and turns to begin putting away the tea kettle. “Why are you up, if not because of the OWLs?” I then ask.
“Not for any good reason. Have always had trouble sleeping,” he says, but the tightness in his voice, and the way he tugs at a lock of hair behind his ear tells me there’s something else he doesn’t want to share. I can’t fault him for that, though. “Which of your OWLs do you feel most prepared for?” He asks after a moment of tense silence. 
It throws me off for just a second. Most people want to know which test I’m most nervous for, want to know what area I’m weakest in, where the chip in my armor is so that they might strike there. I consider for a moment, not wanting to say something that I end up bombing. Eventually, I decide on my favorite subject. Sirius seems to accept that answer without pushing any further, so I turn it on him. 
“Defense Against the Dark Arts,” he answers almost immediately. “I want to be an auror,” he brags. 
I roll my eyes at the proud smirk on his face. “Of course you do.”
“Well? What do you want to be?” Sirius asks as if expecting a lame answer such as archivist. 
“My parents want me to be an alchemist,” I reply in what I would guess is a lame answer.
“That’s great for them, what do you want to be, though?” Looking into his eyes at that moment feels as if he’s staring into my soul. 
“I… I don’t know,” I mumble slowly and my brows furrow. I can’t help but look at my cup of tea, half empty at this point. No one had ever asked me what I wanted before, not when it came to something so major. It was always assumed I would follow the path my parents laid for me. 
When I find the courage to look back up to Sirius he has a sympathetic look on his face. 
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap.
In return, Sirius’s face pinches in anger. “I wasn’t looking at you any type of way,” he defends.
“Yes, you were, you had this look on your face like you were sad for me,” I accuse. “Don’t be sad for me.”
“I’m not sad for you─”
“Good, because you have no reason to be. My life is great and everything is perfectly fine.” The way I say it even Sirius can tell that I’m trying to convince myself more than him at this point. I let out a frustrated sigh. I want to say something about how I’m a great witch and I’m meant to be an alchemist, but another voice in my head whispers to explain how I really feel.
“Look,” I start, then trail off. 
“It’s complicated,” he finishes for me. “I get it. I’m sure you know about my family, you know I get it.” His voice is so soft as he talks to me, as if I’m a frightened animal. But despite my flaws I am still a Slytherin, and I do not appreciate being treated like a frightened animal. 
“Leave it to a Gryffindor to be so self-absorbed they assume everyone knows their tragic tale of woe. Maybe instead of staying up late to make tea and trying to relate to girls you hardly know you should work on your form for your smokescreen spell.” The words spill out of me before I even consider them. I don’t even take the time to be shocked at my outburst. Instead I storm off. 
“Yeah, you’re one to talk about self-absorbed, Princess!” He shouts at my back. I nearly flinch at the nickname, but keep going out of the kitchens and straight back up to my dorm.
─ 
The morning before the first day of our OWLs testing I follow my same routine. I wake up early to run with James, and he tries to ask if I’m feeling alright, but I brush him off and neither of us acknowledges the way I push myself harder on this run than I ever had before. 
After our run, I go back up to my dorm to shower and get ready for the day. My dorm mates still haven’t caught on yet that I’ve started getting up hours earlier. They do ask if I’m feeling flush and press their hands to my forehead, though. I shove them off with a grumbled, “I’m fine,” and shove my things for the day into my bag. 
In the Great Hall I can hardly stomach a plain slice of toast, but I just manage to get it down with some orange juice. I feel a bit queasy, but today is too important to pay that feeling any mind. 
On my way to the first test of the day, I think back to Remus’s reassuring words from our study session the night before. 
“Look, I know trying to reassure you that you’ll do great won’t get through to you, even if I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” Remus says softly, almost hesitantly. “Instead I hope you know that it will be okay if you aren’t perfect.” My heart hits my stomach and I drop my quill. I start to shut down, prepare to lash out. Why would he say that? He thinks I won’t be perfect? 
“Maybe other people will have different opinions, but I will still be your friend and I know that everything will turn out okay for you.”
Oh. My heart flutters back to life. We’re friends? 
For once in my life, I do not lash out at someone for trying to get closer to me, for saying something honest that I wasn’t ready to hear. 
I give him a sad smile. “Thanks, Remus.” I pause for a long moment. “I’m glad you’re my friend,” I whisper. Then, because I’m not sure how to proceed after that, I stiffly turn back to my notes. Remus, ever the gentleman, goes back to his book and doesn’t push me any further. 
I don’t think anyone had ever told me before that it was okay to be anything less than perfect, but his words become my mantra for the day. 
“It will be okay if I’m not perfect,” I think to myself as I walk into the classroom. 
I take a seat next to Narcissa. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
The professor instructs us to start. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I read over every question three times. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I double check each of my answers. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I finish the last question. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I walk up to the front of the class and turn in my test. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
As I leave the classroom I’ve almost convinced myself that it will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
My stomach begins to churn and I walk straight to the nearest bathroom, into one of the stalls, and promptly begin to lose my breakfast. I hear the door open behind me when I’ve stopped heaving. 
“Think you’ve found yourself in the wrong bathroom, Princess,” someone says mockingly. Footsteps come closer to me. “Oh shit, are you okay?”
I hadn’t bothered to lock the stall door behind me, so I’m able to turn and see Sirius Black. Again. I give him a horrified look. 
“What the bloody hell are you doing in the girls’ room?” I nearly shout at him.
“Actually you’re the one who’s walked into the boys’ room,” he informs me. I give him a disbelieving look until he shifts and my gaze falls on a line of urinals behind him. My face blushes profusely and I stare at Sirius, mortified. He gives me a pitying look. “It’s okay, pretty girl, you’re clearly not feeling well. Stay there for a moment.”
Still in shock, I stay put. I hear the sink running for a moment, then Sirius comes back with a damp towel. He hands it to me to wipe my face. 
“Thanks,” I murmur. 
“Don’t sweat it,” he replies. With a tender hand, he helps me to my feet when I’m ready. “Let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey, then.”
“Oh, no, that’s really not necessary. It must’ve just been something I had at breakfast,” I lie. 
Sirius gives me a disbelieving look. “You’ve clearly worried yourself sick and we both know it.”
I don’t reply as I follow him out of the bathroom. My plan was to start going in the direction of the hospital wing, then double back to the library to keep studying. Sirius’s plan was to follow me.
“I’m more than capable of walking myself to the hospital wing,” I say tersely. 
“And I’m more than capable of walking with you. I’m glad we’ve determined our abilities for this excursion.” 
I shoot him a glare that would scare off most other people. Sirius doesn’t even blink at me. My new plan: ignore Sirius as he insists on walking me to see Pomfrey. 
“How did you feel about it?” He asked after a moment. 
I don’t respond. 
“I personally thought some of the questions were a bit repetitive, like I had to explain myself multiple times.” 
I stay strong. 
“But maybe that’s a bad sign that I didn’t do as good as I thought.” 
Just keep staring straight ahead, he has to shut up eventually, I think to myself. 
“On the second question─”
“Would you just shut up already?” I snapped. I was stressed enough over how I did without reliving it with someone I didn’t even like. 
Sirius holds his hands up defensively. “Someone’s cranky,” he says with a laugh.
“I am not cranky, I just don’t particularly care to discuss the test with you.” My eyes roll of their own volition. 
“What should you care to discuss then?” He asks. 
“With you? Not much.” Maybe if I can discourage him enough he’ll grow bored and wander off. 
“It’s a bit of a trek to the hospital wing from here, though, and I’ve found conversation to be a great way to pass time.” Of course, I should know that Gryffindors are not so easily discouraged.
“I’ve found that there’s no reason for you to walk all the way to the hospital wing with me.” 
“Wow, are you like this all the time?” He finally snaps back.
“Like what?” I pretend to be ignorant. 
He scoffs at me. “Rude, Princess. Are you always so rude?”
I flare up at the nickname. The way he says it, it feels like he knows I don’t like it. 
“Nobody asked you to pester me,” I say. 
“Most people would consider this an act of kindness, not pestering.”
“How unfortunate for you that I am not like most people.” 
“It would do you a bit of good to learn something from them, maybe you could start with some manners.”
“I’m perfectly well mannered, thank you very much. You’re the one who didn’t listen when I told you I was fine to walk by myself, and you’re the one working yourself up by staying with me when you could bug off to literally anywhere else.” With that I begin to speed up to leave him behind.
Sirius actually stops for just a moment, as if really considering my words. Then he rushes to catch up to me. “No, I want to know what’s so bloody great about you,” he says. 
I give him a strange look. “I never claimed for anything to be so great about me.”
“Maybe not but you sure act like it, so tell me: what is so bloody great about you? What makes you so special that you think yourself better than everyone else here?”
It’s my turn to stop in my tracks. “Who the hell said I think I’m better than everyone?”
“No one has to say it, Princess.” The way he says Princess feels like venom on his tongue. 
I want to hit him. Punch him in the face and give him a great bloody nose. I want to hex him. Maybe knock him off his feet. I want to scream at him. Scream that I don’t think myself better than everyone, that I’m just an imposter pretending to be perfect all the time. 
It will be okay if I’m not perfect.
Tears start to well in my eyes. I haven’t cried since I was eleven and my family was getting ready to drop me off at Hogwarts for the first time. 
“Do not cry, darling, it’s unbecoming,” my mother says to me. “Soon you will be sorted into Slytherin and prepare to continue your family’s legacy. You must show strength at all times, even if you do not feel it. We can not be perceived as weak.”
A single tear snakes out of the corner of my eye and down the apple of my cheek. I look down and it falls to the ground by my feet. Another tear falls, and before I know it I am fully crying. I start to struggle to breathe. 
When I look back up to Sirius he looks terrified. He must think he’s what’s made me cry. The truth is it’s the last five years that have built up to weigh on me continually. It’s the way my life was gilded and no one had ever cared to look below the surface until a few weeks ago when Remus Lupin offered to help me study. Until James Potter offered to go for a run. Until Sirius Black offered me a cup of tea. 
My quiet tears begin to turn into choked sobbing as I realize how sad my life really was, that these three Gryffindors had shown me a kind of genuine caring that I hadn’t known could exist. 
Hesitantly, Sirius takes my hand to lead me over to a nearby bench so I can sit down and try to collect myself. It takes several minutes for me to control my breathing, and several more for my tears to subside. I finally look down to notice that I’m still holding Sirius’s hand, that I’d actually been holding it quite firmly. 
“Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice hoarse, as I release his hand from my grasp. “You were right. Everything is so very complicated.”
Sirius gives me that same look he did last night, and I realize. He wasn’t sad for me, he understood me. But how was it fair that he would get to leave, when his brother and I were left behind with our authoritarian families? Selfishly, I think maybe he could show me the way.
I sit there, lost in my thoughts, for a long while. Sirius stays with me. Eventually the bells toll to indicate it was time for lunch. When I glance up at Sirius, he’s already looking at me. 
“Can I make you an offer?” He asks. 
I grow weary at his words. “I would suppose that depends on what the offer is.”
“Well, your eyes are red and swollen and you’ve got mascara tracked down your cheeks,” he starts and I grow horrified as I realize what I must look like. There was no way I could go into the Great Hall looking like the mess I surely am. He lets out a small laugh at my expression. “Why don’t you go clean up, and I’ll grab us some lunch from the Great Hall. We can meet in the south courtyard.”
I was amazed that even after I’d been so mean to him, he would still be so kind to me. 
“That would be quite nice actually. Thank you,” I reply softly. 
Sirius gives me a swift nod, then helps me to stand up. We go our separate ways, me to my dorm to wash my face and apply some fresh mascara and concealer, and Sirius to the Great Hall. 
I’ve just sat down in a corner of the courtyard for a couple minutes when Sirius shows up. I try not to look too shocked when James and Remus appear with him. Of course, I knew they were all friends, they went galavanting around the entire school proclaiming themselves marauders, but I’d never interacted with all three of them together. 
It suddenly occurs to me that they likely share a dorm, and very well could have planned this all to be some grand prank on me. But they had all seemed so genuinely kind to me until this point, and I was so tired of constantly second guessing everyone’s intentions. I decided that if this were some prank I would let them have their fun at me, then show them the real wrath of Slytherin. 
The three of them quickly set up a small picnic and begin lighthearted conversation. James compliments the way my hair looks today. Sirius teases James for the way his hair looks everyday, although I would argue it flatters him I don’t say that aloud. Remus gives me a knowing look as the two begin bickering. 
Spending time with the three of them is easy, and feels right. Like it was always meant to be the four of us all together. None of them mentions my earlier breakdown, or even anything to do with our tests. I wonder what Sirius told them before they all came out here. Whatever it was, none of them shows me any judgment so I can guess he must have skipped over my rude behavior. 
I’m sad when the bells ring again to signify the end of lunch. We clean up our area of the courtyard, then head back inside. Over the course of my time with the boys I feel my spirits lifted significantly, feeling much better and ready to face the next two weeks of tests. 
It will be okay if I’m not perfect, I think to myself again, and this time I really do believe it. Because even if I’m only just getting to know Remus, James, and Sirius, I know that they are my friends and they’ll be there for me.
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murdrdocs · 3 days
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i’ve been thinking abt zombieau!luke lately but specifically that drabble of having to hide out from the walkers in the closet - what happened when they got back/while they were gone? like were percy and annabeth safe and sound or.. 🤔
previous this was gonna be happy and then i remembered ... nothing is happy in a zombie au!; angst; allusions to smut; MDNI 18+ 1.1k+ words
First daylight comes and you and Luke are sneaking out of the supply closet.
You're made aware of the step-shuffle of the stragglers of the herd, mindlessly wandering around the CVS while you and Luke calculate the best exit route.
Miraculously, you both make it out without any confrontation. Luke holds the weapons, and you hold the duffle bag full of medicine, hygiene products, any anything else you could fit in there. Truthfully, it was a successful trip. There's enough food to last for a while when added to your supply back home, you now have more pads and tampons than you had before, there are fresh bars of soap and you even managed to grab a few skincare products. Plus, the supply run got you fucked. Over and over and over again.
You should be happy. You should be gleefully skipping down the abandoned street back on your way home. But you're determinedly stomping instead, walking a few paces ahead of Luke as you exert more energy than you should be exerting. Your stomach rumbles every so often, reminding you that the last time you ate was nearly 24 hours ago at this point.
"Grab a granola bar out of the bag," Luke tries to convince you, his voice more relaxed than it should be in your opinion.
"No." You don't give much explanation, but you're sure Luke knows you're too stressed to eat. He likely also knows you're saving the bars for Percy. They were his favorite as you proclaimed as soon as you saw them.
"They're fine."
He sounds so assured, so relaxed. It makes you scoff and roll your eyes. You don't know that Luke is scraping the nail of his pointer finger along the side of his thumb. You don't see him ticking his jaw and taking mechanical breaths every so often.
He's trying to convince you as much as he's trying to convince himself.
"You don't know that," you tell him. "And stop looking at my ass."
He doesn't even bother denying it. He was looking at your ass.
'What-ifs' have taken over your brain, powering your limbs with adrenaline, pushing you closer and closer to the house, closer and closer to an answer.
What if they got bit?
What if they got kidnapped?
What if the herd moved there? What if they're trapped?
What if—
Luke's jogging takes you out of your thoughts. He starts walking by you, matching your steps. He walks close to you to the point where your hands brush against each other's every so often.
Luke is here. He's with you. He's starting to whistle a tune of a song you think you know. Or maybe you did know it before all of this. Before you knew Luke and Annabeth. Just his presence calms you a bit.
"They're fine," you repeat to yourself. You try to believe the words but it doesn't stick. "But we don't know that."
Luke tuts and you see him tilting his head out of the corner of your eye. "We also don't know that they aren't fine."
"That's shit logic."
"I could say the same for your logic."
"I'm just preparing for the worst."
"That never helps anything. You're making yourself sad already and then if something bad were to happen, you'll just be even sadder."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, do you? Preparing for the worst keeps you prepared for the worst, so if the worst were to come then I'm already prepared."
It's slightly comforting to know that nothing has changed between you and Luke. He knows what you feel like, you know what he feels like. You've both shared something that you'll never be able to undo, but you don't mind it.
You would be willing to share it again if the circumstances allowed. But right now, you're hyper-focused on reaching your destination which is just a few hundred feet ahead of you now.
You and Luke walk the beaten path worn in by tires. With only a few inches between you both, you start to miss him.
When you swerve over and walk closer to him, you try to do it naturally. Either way, Luke doesn't say anything about it.
You reach the house and everything is in order. The front door is still bordered up, the garage door is down, no windows are broken or opened. You and Luke round the house, jump the fence, and reach the backdoor. When you push it open, you don't know if you're glad or upset that Luke was right. You won't ever say the words "you were right" to him, but you're sure it shows in the way you quickly approach Annabeth and Percy.
They're at the table in the kitchen, Annabeth sitting with her back towards you and Percy sitting in front of her.
You don't think when you wrap your arms around Annabeth's shoulders, pulling her into you and pressing appreciative kisses into her head.
You're so busy expressing your gratitude and apologizing to them for leaving them all alone that you don't notice the energy in the house. You don't notice that only you have moved. You don't notice Percy's rigid shoulders.
You're only made aware that something is off when Luke speaks from his spot next to the door.
"What happened?" He says it like a fact. He knows something happened, he just doesn't know what.
You wait, and wait.
Neither of them say anything, so you try.
"Percy. What happened?"
Your arms unwind from Annabeth's slender shoulders. You approach Percy carefully until you're able to kneel in front of him, trying your best to meet his eyes.
He takes his time to look at you, and just the sight of his blue eyes clouded over with tears, both unshed and shed, spikes the fear in your system.
"Percy," you start again, attempting to stay calm even when your voice cracks over the syllables of his name. "I need you to tell me what happened so I can help you."
He sniffles, a tear glides down his reddened cheek and when you reach up to wipe it away, he flinches away from you. The gestures hurts you at first, but you know Percy.
You don't move your hand, letting it hover in the air, waiting for Percy to give in. And he does.
He falls to his knees, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he lets you wrap your arms around him. He's growing up, getting bigger day by day, but right now, while he wets your tee shirt with tears, he feels like the little boy you used to babysit. He feels like the kid who got in trouble far too often and had copious amounts of love covered by misplaced anger in his body.
He feels small.
You know you won't coax any explanation out of him like this, so you look up at Annabeth, one hand wrapped around Percy's shoulders and the other pressed into his matted curls.
She looks at you. She blinks and a twin set of tears falls down onto her cheeks.
"He thinks he found his mom." Your eyebrows furrow, but you don't have anytime for questions before Annabeth continues.
"He thinks he killed her."
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mysterycitrus · 2 days
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This is so stupid but I was wondering if you might have any Dick and Roy meta? I've always loved your meta posts about the relationships between the Fab Five and different characters and lately, I've been seeing a lot of those posts where people splice certain comic pannels with poems/sayings/inspirational quotes and things that match and I've been wanting to have more in-depth ideas of the relationship between Dick and Roy because they're just so interesting but I don't have the brains to come up with anything myself
when i think about dick grayson and roy harper i think about the trope king + lionheart — a burdened hero, and their loyal protector — and how they switch roles with each other. like two standout dickroy books are probably old friends, new enemies and outsiders (2003), and while they’re both initiated with roy reaching out to dick for help, his motivations are very different. i think that dynamic, and how they don’t fit solely into one role, is part of why i enjoy reading about them so much.
in old friends, roy is the king — he’s trying to track down chesire and find lian, and isn’t initially honest about his intentions. he’s struggling with his decisions, and his faith in himself. dick acts as the moral support, his backup, and also calls him out on his actions.
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but their relationship is still loving. there’s a solid foundation of trust that makes dick want to support roy and protect his daughter, to the point that he and jade nguyen show a (very) begrudging respect to each other.
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in outsiders, dick is the king — donna has just died, bludhaven is going to shit, and roy knows that he’s spiralling. roy is the solid support who convinces dick to lead a new team because he knows dick hurts himself through isolation. they’re both grieving donna and the loss of their team, but roy forces dick to reconnect again. he forces dick to care.
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despite being the leader of the outsiders, dick is uncompromising in his loyalty in roy. he tells people to leave if they don’t accept roy’s authority in the team. after roy is shot, dick takes the same action as roy in the first issue — he brute forces his way into getting roy out of the spiral. he holds a gun to roy’s head and tells him to take it.
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im a huge sucker for friends to lovers, but what i really love is two competent people with absolute faith in each other. i dislike the idea that bat-characters are like….. absurdly op and everyone is just in awe of them all the time, but dick’s reputation means that trusting someone the way he trusts roy is important. he watched his teammates die, he watched his sister die to save his life, and he still trusts roy to be there. roy historically has a bit of an inferiority complex about working with dick, but dick does not reciprocate. dick knows roy will be there when it counts.
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there’s a particular kind of love that comes from mourning the same person during one of the worst times of your life.
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the fact that the early tragedies in their lives are so similar, that they lost family and an idea of place at similar ages, were mentored by mortal men who wanted to do good, but still ended up so close but so different is really really interesting to me. u get to outsiders, and they really know each other in a really intense way.
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truly like…. i would fall on ur sword because i trust u not to land the killing blow. to finish — something something gay people
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IDEA!!
riddle, ace, and malleus (separately) x fem!reader (u can make it gn!reader if you’d prefer tho!) where the reader is about to leave twisted wonderland but she’s clearly hesitating and then the character asks why they don’t just go, and reader tells them through tears that she loves him, and asks if he feels the same n that if he does that will be the only reason she needs to stay. he does and she runs into his arms immediately. so a little bit of angst but ends with cute comfort. if this is unclear at all PLS LMK and i will clear it up!! brain is rotted atm bc i finished the worst essay of my life a little bit ago
Riddle, Ace, and Malleus (separately) x fem!reader who’s hesitant to go back home because of their crush
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Riddle
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Behind you were your friends along with your crush the dorm leader of Heartslayble Riddle and they watched bittersweetly as you walked closer to the mirror. In front of you was the hazy view of a city near where you lived and you were supposed to feel ecstatic that you could finally go home, and see your parents, and your friends but you didn’t. Ever since you stepped foot in Twisted Wonderland you felt like an alien but over time it began to be your home and one person held your heart through all your time here.
You loved Riddle dearly and after his overblot, you were there for him much to his confusion since he was horrible to you and the others but you relented. Riddle has grown so much from his freshmen year and saw nearly every day now, walking between classes or hanging out in Heartslayble and helping him paint the roses red or tending to the hedgehogs. The way he talked to the hedgehogs or flamingos was adorable and it was always impressive when an Unbirthday party was being set up and he was in his formal uniform staff in hand ordering people where each dessert went. In your hand was a specially made strawberry tart for you with a queen of hearts card sticking out of it and a fondant miniature hedgehog in front.
When Riddle tutored you because you needed help with some of your classes you sometimes tried to make the sessions last as long as they could since Riddle had such a strict schedule you would practically have to schedule or make an appointment his free time. Riddle of course upheld the rules for everybody even including you but he would sometimes bend them because your pout was too cute or your smile was perfectly bright. You both loved each other so much without the other knowing and it appeared like it would stay that way since you were leaving for your real home.
Riddle noticed you hadn’t moved for the last couple of minutes and seemed to be in deep thought however you were shaking. “Are you alright or worried? You’re shaking. Is there something wrong?” he asked and buried the twinge of hope in him that thought your hesitation was because you weren’t going to go back. You felt the hot tears drip down your cheeks and sniffled, turning around so your friend and everyone saw you were holding back the wave of tears threatening to fall. “I don’t want to go back… I don’t want to go back because that means I won’t get to see my friends or you! I love you so much! I have since the first unbirthday party I ever attended and I don’t know if you love me back but I don’t want to leave!” you cried and opened your eyes to see Riddle crying silently, tears unknowingly escaping his eyes and face a blushy pink.
You both stared at one another in silence for a couple of moments before the dorm leader spoke and wiped his face noticing his tears. “I didn’t want you to go back but it’s not my choice and it would be wrong of me to cause conflicts in you. I love you and want you to stay here with me. I can’t promise everything will stay calm but I promise I’ll always be by your side.” he said and his eyes widened when he saw you drop your things, running over to him and tackling the poor short Riddle to the ground. You cupped his face and kissed him softly, his face blushing scarlet but intertwining your hands and cupping your face in turn. “How about we make a new tart in celebration or salvage the fallen one I made you, my rose?” he asked and eyed the dropped slightly damaged dessert in its frail simple packaging.
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Ace
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
The charm of an ace card that your crush Ace had given you was dangling from your phone and a replica of his magic pen held tightly. You looked at your phone once more and saw the goofy picture of both of you running from Riddle with the tart in hand as your lock screen. Letting a couple of tears fall and bringing your phone to your chest, trying to come to terms with that you would have to deal with never seeing your best friend and crush ever in exchange for being on earth again.
Ace and your other friends behind you grew worried as they saw your shoulders shaking and hands clutching your stuff tighten. Why were you hesitating? He was devastated that he would never get to see you again, assuming that texting you in your world didn’t work, and putting on a mask of happiness for you. He never even got to tell you he loved you but he knew now wasn’t the time as it’d make you hesitate. To the others, it was crystal clear how hard this was for both of you.
He ordered his voice to be steady even though it came out shaky. “Why don’t you just go? This is what you have wanted since you got here right? We’ll all miss you so much and you know we support your decision right?” he asked and heard the others murmur similar statements or agreement. You let out a sob and turned around to the group, tears falling down your red cheeks and bordering on a breakdown. “I can’t go knowing that I’ll never see any of you ever again. That I’ll never see you again, Ace. You’ve been with me since I got here and always stuck by me. I can’t leave because I love you and I’d never know if you loved me back if I left now!” you cried and hiccuped, dropping your bag and wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve.
That was the breaking point for Ace and he stopped pretending to be glad you were going home, knowing his crush someone he loved ever since he saw you come through that mirror and go through all the crazy hijinx of this school year loved him back. He sobbed and held his uniform sleeve over his eyes to hide the onslaught of tears pouring out of his eyes. “I never wanted you to leave not when you already became a girl I could depend on every day. It’s selfish but I didn’t care because I loved you too. So seeing you happy to leave… it broke me.” he said and let the sad emotions overcome him.
You smiled albeit a bit wobbly and dropped everything you were holding, running to Ace and tackling him in a hug. Both of you fell to the ground with you on top of him and he cupped your face, kissing you softly and wiping the tears falling with his thumb. You parted for air and rested your head on his chest as you caught your breath. “So would my hot girlfriend be up for snatching a couple of sweets from my dorm?” he asked cheekily.
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Malleus
You were looking at the mirror in front of you the hazy outline of the world you know and turning back to see Grim trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. He’d tried several times to stop you like rallying the ghosts in ramshackle to help him or using his fire magic in the least destructive way he could or moving all the furniture to block the door.
Ace and Deuce nor Epel, Jack, or Ortho didn’t want to force you to stay since you’d tried so hard to find a way to get home and now you had. It was right in front of you but you couldn’t bring yourself to take a step forward. Your heart refused to budge and rooted itself despite your mind's logical reasoning. It pushed the one reason you had been trying to ignore out to the front of your mind.
Tears brimmed your eyes and you did your best to blink them away to no avail, using your hands to wipe them and felt them fall down your cheeks. You sniffled at the thought of never getting to see your crush again. Someone who you’d loved with all your heart and who helped you through all the trials and terrors that you’d experienced since you arrived in Twisted Wonderland.
You held your bag by your side and stared at the silver shining mirror that glowed signaling that its destination was fixed to the location the user wanted. Your home or rather somewhere close to your home as Crowley couldn’t exactly get the mirror to transport you to your country and reluctantly let Ortho and Idia help so its arrival destination was a lot closer.
Malleus had specifically arrived at Ramshackle to go with you to the Hall of Mirrors to spend the most time he could with you and convinced Lilia to stop Sebek from going with him since he knew it meant so much to his draconian friend. He desperately didn’t want you to leave. Who would he spend his nightly walks with or have interesting conversations about gargoyles? But most importantly, how would he fill the hole in his heart if his favorite student he loved left?
You held your bag in one hand and in the other was a replica of Malleus’ magic pen along with a small orb with the illusion of Ramshackle dorm with its gargoyles and you, Grim, and him outside pointing to different parts of the worn down dorm building. Just looking at it brought tears to your eyes. It reminded you of what you were leaving and how you were leaving the one person you loved behind.
Malleus and your friends noticed your hesitation and looked at each other worried if you were okay, wondering if they should speak up or say something. He went to take a step forward but stopped and gripped the sleeve of his blazer, unable to form the words he wanted to say. You looked at the glowing mirror in front of you and saw the hazy reflection of a familiar landmark smiling a bittersweet smile. Letting the tears fall down your cheeks and sniffling.
Your mind waged war on both sides of your mind wanting to come out on top and win. You didn’t want to leave the person who you’d slowly grown to love and who piqued your curiosity the moment you saw him. You couldn’t. Your crush spoke up after what felt like an eternity. “Are you alright? This is what you want isn’t it?” he said with a hint of solemnness. Turning around and letting everyone see your teary sad sad face. “I can’t go because I love you and if I go I’ll never get to see you again. I don’t want that. I love it here and I love being here with you. I love you and I don’t want to leave even if it means you don’t love me back!” you said through tears.
He let a few tears fall down his cheeks and smiled warmly. “I was hoping you would say something like that. I love you too and want nothing more than for you to stay here with me. I’d miss our walks and nicknames. Everything about you has captured my heart.” he said and brushed budding tears with his thumb. You sobbed hearing his confession and dropped what you were holding, running into his arms and holding him tightly. Both of you held the other like they would disappear if they let go. You laughed and leaned into the hand cupping your face, kissing him sweetly, and resting your forehead against his. “Shall we get something to eat, my beloved?” he asked charmingly.
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Hello!
How do you think TR boys would react if they accidently hurt their s/o, like, in a fit of anger, or during a couple fight?
Preferably, Baji, Chifuyu, Mikey, and Kazutora? But anybody you want is fine!
Like physically? I don't think any of them would swing on their partner even if they were annoyed so I came up with a scenario I think could happen which results in the reader being accidentally physically hurt!
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He was so angry right now, the two of you had been arguing over the same thing for the past hour but nothing was getting better. The two of you were just going round in circles and it was starting to frustrate him further. He punched the wall in anger, momentarily not caring about the sound of a frame smashing to the floor. He didn't even turn around to look at it, not until he heard a different noise.
Baji-
You hissed in pain as the glass cut your finger, you were only trying to clean up the mess but now you were bleeding.
Frowning at the noise, Baji immediately comes rushing over to you, elevating your hand and applying pressure. He can't bear to see you in pain so quickly tries to sort it out himself.
He's still a little mad at you but not enough to ignore you like this. Truthfully he's more mad at himself, cursing his impulsiveness under his breath.
Apologises then tells you to sit down while he cleans his own mess up.
He still intends to discuss the problem with you tomorrow but decides to try and not let his anger get the better of him this time. But for the rest of today he just wants to be close to you.
Chifuyu-
After hearing your sudden hiss in pain, he whips his head around so fast you think he might hurt himself in a second.
Immediately comes over to you, trying to stop the bleeding and profusely apologising.
Feels extremely guilty and is on the verge of tears the whole time, it's his fault you got hurt!
He doesn't do a very good job with your injury because he's panicking so much.
You both end up kinda having to reassure and comfort each other
The problem is entirely forgotten, he doesn't even care anymore.
Becomes even more caring after, he just wants you to know he'd never do that on purpose and he really is sorry.
Mikey-
Doesn't actually undertake what that hiss noise was at first. You have no reason to be in pain so he's sure it isn't you. Looks around with a confused look until he notices you kneeling on the floor, holding your now bleeding hand.
Sucks in sharp breath as his eyes widen, did he do that???
Jumps into action after a moments pause, grabbing as many tissues as he can and running over to you.
Asks you how it happens exactly, like he still can't believe it was a result of his actions.
Get's such a hurt look on his face after you quickly tell him. He feels so guilty, like he just ruined everything. He's the worst.
He continues helping you while apologising in the saddest tone you've ever heard from him. Avoids eye contact with you until you tell him to look at you.
Needs reassurance that you forgive him (if you do).
Promises to never punch the wall again, then runs out to buy a new frame as well as taiyaki for both of you. The argument is completely forgotten.
Kazutora-
Freezes the second he hears the sound come out your mouth, he's heard similar noises enough times to know what they mean.
Turns around immediately, eyes going wide as he sees you.
Panic and dread sets in, he freezes and time feels like it's slowed down for him. He did this, he hurt you. He really is just like his father.
He wants to run away, out of the room and from the situation but he can't, can't just leave you there.
Taking a deep breath, he moves towards you, trying to be as gentle as he can with your injury while he helps you.
You have to say his name a few times before his attention is on your words. It's then that he suddenly realises he was so focused on your injury that he hasn't apologised yet.
A string of sorry's slip out, as he tries to tell you how he never wanted this to happen.
Definitely needs you to communicate your forgiveness and reassure him that it was just an accident (if you do forgive him).
Spends the rest of the day trying to make it up to you in little ways, even after you tell him he doesn't need to.
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hellfirenacht · 8 hours
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Wing Man 13
Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.
Chapter Summary: You remember.
6.5 Words
(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12)
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March, 1977
You hated the sweater that your grandma had picked out for you to wear on the night of the Hawkins Middle School Talent Show. It was slightly too small for you and you couldn’t comfortably raise your arms without your midriff accidentally showing, the material was itchy and the tag was poking at the back of your neck which made you scratch the skin there which only made the problem worse, and you know that when you stepped out onto the stage the lights would make you feel unbearably hot. 
What you hated slightly less was the poem that you were supposed to recite. You didn’t really have anything against The Owl and the Pussy Cat, but it wasn’t exactly your first choice for the show. Actually, you had about 8 more ideas for your forced performance that had all been shot down by your teachers or parents. 
Being forced to be in the talent show wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You really did normally like being on stage if it was by your own choice and you got to choose what to do. Now, here you were in 8th grade, getting ready to be on stage because of some stupid rule that said that all students must participate in the talent show once in their 3 years. 
You didn’t have a talent in 6th grade, and in 7th you ended up getting the flu which had kept you in bed for a week. Now for 8th grade you had been cornered and forced to recite a poem that put you to sleep and was sure to give every bored parent an excuse to take a bathroom break. 
There were way more interesting performances than you, and you’d rather trade with almost anyone. The girls from the cheer squad always did an original routine despite using the same three cheers at every sports game, there were the Tyson brothers who did their traditional “Who’s On First?” stand-up that killed every year, a few kids playing piano or singing some random song, and one girl doing what you assumed to be some sort of martial art demonstration. The talent here was only marginally better than the ones you had sat through in elementary school. 
Okay, there was one performance that you were looking forward to seeing. Dougie, the guy who sat next to you in English, had been going on for weeks how he was in a band now and that they were making their debut at the talent show that year. He excitedly rambled to you about how they were going to play a Judas Priest song and it was gonna be awesome. 
You had never talked to Dougie before then, but you had made eye contact with him once when he was talking about the talent show and that meant that you were now going to listen to him every time he wanted to talk about his band. Having a full live band at this show sounded a lot more interesting than most public school acts, and the idea that they were going to get away with playing a song that was not school board approved sounded awesome. 
The irony of it all was that about three minutes before the show started he admitted that they had all practiced together a grand total of twice beforehand. 
Dougie was currently jumping up and down in an awkward rhythm from foot to foot, clinging to his bass like it was his last lifeline. When you tried to talk to him, he only responded with a line from the song they were going to sing, having forgotten the rest of the English language in an attempt to make sure he remembered the words to the song. It made you feel a little better, because you could at least recite your poem in your sleep. 
You leaned against a wall and looked up towards the catwalk above the stage. There were two kids up there, and you were pretty sure that they really weren’t supposed to be. One was a girl in a ponytail, wearing a sparkly outfit that matched the group of cheerleaders in the hall, and one was a boy with a buzzcut wearing ripped jeans and a dark t-shirt. Quite the opposite pair. 
You watched them for a moment, unable to hear a word they were saying but they both kept looking out at the crowd. When the five minute warning came, they each scrambled back down to the floor and Buzzcut Kid made his way to Dougie and the girl went out to join the rest of her squad. 
Maybe this would be more enjoyable if you also had friends to do this with. The few friends that you did have had either done their stint in the years before or had decided to do something completely different than you. 
Your only saving grace was that you were up second, right after some 7th grader sang along to the latest pop song that hit the charts about a month ago. This meant that you at least got it over with, and could spend the rest of the show alone and unbothered to watch everyone else. 
That was the plan at least. Unfortunately for you, you had completely overlooked one crucial thing about your fellow peers. 
They were fucking mean.
You really hadn’t thought much about the poem you were going to recite, it was just supposed to be a very quick poem that no one would remember. You had actually learned the poem a very long time ago when you were a kid, so you never made the connection that part of the poem could be taken... incorrectly. 
When your name was called, you stepped onto the center stage, shoulders back and head up straight. You were going to say your poem from the diaphragm, make your parents and grandma happy, and then get off stage. It would take less than two minutes and then you were home free. 
The second you started talking about how the Owl and the Pussy Cat went to sea in their pea green boat was when you started to hear the giggles from backstage. And when the Owl started to sing on their guitar, that’s when you realized your fatal mistake. 
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
         You are,
         You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
Oh. 
Oh no. 
The giggles from backstage grew louder and you felt your face heating up from more than just the horrible sweater. You could barely focus on the last two verses, where the Owl buys a ring off a Pigs’ nose to marry the Pussy Cat, you could only finish the poem in a deadpan voice before walking off stage as quickly as possible without even waiting for the first applause to start. 
Backstage, everyone was giggling every time they looked at you. Whispers of ‘O pussy, my love!’ and ‘O lovely pussy!’ and (less creatively) ‘pussy lover’ followed you as you made your way out into the hall, trying not to cry. 
They would all call you “pussy poem girl” until you skipped town and left Indiana forever, you just knew it.
You slipped into the bathroom, had yourself a small bout of embarrassed frustration tears, and then stomped your way to the art room. Ms. Teedee, the art teacher, was infamous for forgetting to lock her door which meant that it was easy to sneak in and make your way over to the large box of construction paper and get to work. 
It started out as just a way to calm down after the horrible embarrassment you just faced, but then it became a plan to hopefully soften the blow. 
It took you about a half hour to make, roughly, a million paper flowers from the various sheets of construction paper, which you then shoved into a discarded cardboard box next to Ms. Teedee’s desk. With a final deep breath you made your way back to the gymnasium where the cheerleaders were now doing their dance. 
When they all filed off stage, you stood there with your box of fake flowers and handed each of them one with a “Congratulations!” and “You guys were amazing out there!”.
Maybe if you were nice enough now, they’d drop the Pussy Fiasco and leave you alone. 
While the next act went on, you retroactively passed out paper flowers to the students who had already been on. Everyone stage right was waiting to go on while stage left was for those who already went. The plan seemed to work well enough, and you found the sooner you shoved a flower in someone’s face, the less likely they were to make a crack about your poem. 
At least until Monday when the snickers would follow you for the rest of the school year, and partially into high school by a few asshats who had nothing better to do. 
When you finally had a moment to catch your breath and take a moment to watch the talent show, there was a cacophony of noise coming from the stage. Drums, guitar, base, cracked vocals, were blasting from the speakers, making most of the parents in the audience wince. 
You skirted around to the side of the stage, just out of sight from the audience to see what was going on. Dougie’s act was up and they were... loud. Loud was definitely the right word to use. You couldn’t see Dougie well, he was on the far side of the stage away from you, and a girl with a drum set was behind him. She was banging away on the drums in a way that reminded you of Animal from The Muppets with how much energy she was putting into it. You were expecting her to hit the drum so hard that the stick would go flying. 
Speaking of flying...
The guitarist was the one who captured your attention the most. Under the spotlights you could forget that he was just an awkward 8th grader like you, he looked like... almost like he was flying. That didn’t make much sense because he was standing in place, but it was the only metaphor you could think of that made sense at the time. His vocals were rough, but the passion in his voice was clear. Most students were half-assing their performances out of obligation because they were forced to but not him. Buzzcut Kid played like he needed to, as if his life depended on it. 
The sting of the guitar and the thrumming of the drums drowned out any snickering from the students that had been following you for the past forty minutes. For the next three, you were absolutely enthralled by the kids on stage. So much so that when they all filed off you completely blanked on handing out flowers, your ears still ringing from the act. 
“That was great!” you had managed to spit out to Dougie, who gave you a quick thanks before turning back to the rest of the band, the three talking excitedly about their very first performance. 
Dougie’s band was the second to last performance, followed by a grand finale of a kid playing a medley of old tv show themes on piano. You remembered to give that kid a flower at least. Afterwards, you were all ushered on stage for a bow, your hands felt clammy as you gripped the hand of one of the Tyson brothers, not wanting to look at the audience at all. 
With the show over, everyone filed out into the main area of the school. Kids reunited with their parents and siblings to talk about the show and give congratulations. You saw a few of your flowers already being dumped in the nearby trash can, which stung a little. You sighed and clung to the remaining flowers in your small cardboard box and realized that you never did hand them over to Dougie and his friends. 
Ignoring the fact that your parents were looking for you, you pushed through the sea of people and found Dougie, handing him a flower quickly before moving on before he could say anything else to you. The girl drummer was easy to find next, as she was at the edge of the crowd with an old woman who you assumed was her grandma. You handed her a flower too, with a stuttered “You were so good!” before disappearing again into the crowd. 
There was only one flower left to give out, and you were shaking slightly at the idea of approaching the guitarist. You didn’t know why; shy was never a word that your friends and teachers would use to describe you. But this guy was just so cool and he played guitar in a band! Okay, so Dougie was also in the band but that was different! This guy had played in a way that put air into your lungs and made you forget the disaster of your own performance. You wished that your family had brought their clunky camcorder to tape the show so that you’d never forget it. 
You spotted Buzzcut Kid standing with an older man as they headed out the door of the school, and you panicked for a second. You shifted from one foot to the other quickly as you tried to make a decision. If you didn’t give him a flower then- then- then he wouldn’t have a flower! Then he’d be the only one without a flower and then what? What if he made fun of you for your poem? What if you gave him a flower and he decided to ignore your horrible social blunder? What if he did that anyway when you approached him? What if no one else was going to tell him that he had the coolest act in the show?!
It was that last thought that had you barreling through the crowd towards the door, clinging to your box tightly. You definitely shoulder checked some people on accident as you pushed your way out of the school and started walking quickly to the kid. 
“W-wait up!” you said, nearly stumbling over your feet as you caught up to the kid and the old man he was with. The kid stopped and looked at you, as if confused as to why you were speaking to him. 
Under the lamps hanging outside of the school, you were met with the prettiest brown eyes you had ever seen and your heart thrummed in your chest. 
“Hi...?” the kid said, his brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at you. His voice snapped you out of it. 
“I really liked your act it was really cool and it’s cool that you got away with playing that song without someone pulling the plug or canceling the show!” You blabbed, not stopping for breath or punctuation. 
The kid froze for a second, and then looked a little bashful giving you a crooked smile. You noticed a slight chip on one of his front teeth. 
“We got yelled at pretty bad backstage for it.” the kid said, looking almost proud of himself for it. 
The man who was with Buzzcut Kid placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll meet you at the truck.” he said, walking off and leaving the two of you alone. 
“It was still really good!” you insisted. “It was my favorite part of the show!” 
Had it not been past sunset you might have noticed the way his ears burned from the compliment. 
“Thanks.” he said, shifting slightly. “Uh, which act was yours again...?”
“Nothing interesting!” you said, a bit louder and higher pitched than you meant to, secretly relieved that he hadn’t heard your embarrassing poem. “Oh uh, this is for you!”
You reached your hand into your box of flowers and pulled out the nicest looking one left, a dark blue one that matched his t-shirt. He took it, his hand barely brushing against yours as he did, and he stared at it for a moment. The way he was looking so intently made your stomach turn and you suddenly felt very stupid for rushing after this guy who had no idea who you were just to give him a paper flower that was just going to end up in the trash can later. 
“I gave one to everyone” you started blabbing again. “‘Cause you know not everyone gets flowers after a show but everyone did a really good job so I thought I could let everyone know that they did so that’s why I made them also what song was that that you guys played?” 
It was a lie. Why were you lying? Were you so desperate to not look like a total loser in front of this guy that you’d just lie about the real reason why you made the flowers?
Well, you were in middle school. So, yeah, you were. 
“The song was ‘Prowler’ by Judas Priest.” the kid said, “It was the easiest one we could learn at the last second.” 
You knew that. Right, you did know that, Dougie only mentioned it every single day for the past two weeks. You felt so stupid asking that question, but at least Buzzcut Kid didn’t know that you knew. 
“You guys were really good.” you repeated, not sure what else to say. You were rambling now, and Buzzcut Kid probably thought you were a total dweeb. “I hope you guys keep playing and you’re really good at guitar and I’ve never heard anyone play electric guitar live except for one time when I went to the Indiana State Fair in fourth grade.”
You needed to shut up, you were really running your mouth for no reason and just talking at this poor guy who was just trying to go home. 
“I’ve been playing since I was a kid.” Buzzcut Kid said, and he was still giving you a look. His eyes were so round. “My dad taught me what he knew and I just picked up the rest from there.” He was holding the fake flower carefully, running his finger along the edge of one of the petals. You hoped he didn’t get a paper cut from doing that. 
“That’s so cool.” you said, your voice a little bit slower now as you tried desperately to hold your tongue. 
“Thanks.” he said again, and you immediately ran out of things to say. Of course, later you realized you could have probably kept the conversation going by asking for his name, or offering yours, but there are many downsides to being in middle school and piss-poor social skills is one of them. 
“Okay well you were good and I gotta go, bye!” you said and quickly booked it back to the school, your heart pounding and your cheeks flushed from more than just the horrible sweater. You didn’t even look back at the kid that you had just left standing there with your paper flower. 
You didn’t talk to him again after that. For a small school it was really easy to miss people. Your schedules never lined up, you never saw him in the hallways except for maybe one or two glances before or after school. Dougie never talked to you again, and by the next semester you’d been moved to a different schedule anyway. By the time Spring came around, you barely remembered the kid who you’d gushed to, and when high school came around he was just a distant memory of a night that you really tried not to think about. 
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The only evidence of that night lay now in your lap. The Hawkins Middle School yearbook from when you both were in eighth grade had a full color spread of the talent show. The Tyson brothers and the cheerleaders got solo pictures of their acts as well as a small collage of every kid that played the piano. 
But there, in the bottom of the second page, was a larger group photo of every kid that had been in the show that night, the picture taken thirty minutes before the curtain. You were stationed on the second row, on the far right and there on the top row was Buzzcut Kid, the girl drummer (who Eddie had explained was his friend Ronnie), and Dougie. 
No wonder you didn’t recognize Eddie or his band before. Besides Eddie, the whole line up of the band had completely changed since their middle school debut. There was no way you would have placed the tall and lanky kid with the buzzcut as the guy who you’d been seeing for the past few weeks. 
When you had been looking at Eddie’s pictures in your own copies of the yearbook, you had been only looking at high school. It hadn’t occurred to you to try and dig further than that. 
“So this is what you’ve been so cryptic about.” you said finally, looking between the flower and the yearbook. 
“I didn’t think it was a big deal you didn’t remember me.” He shrugged, falling onto his back on the bed next to you. “I wouldn’t remember me either.” 
“Eddie, I was obsessed with you for like, a month after this.” you admitted, staring at him hard. “You were the only good part of that night. I stopped thinking about that night when I didn’t see you again. ”
“You were obsessed with me?” He lifted his head and looked at you with a shit-eating grin. “Stalker.”
You grabbed a flimsy pillow from beside you and smacked him in the face. “Says the guy keeping count of how many times we met!”
“The second time was when you got in trouble with Higgins for skipping class- hey!” Eddie lifted his arms as you whacked him with the pillow over and over. 
“Why-” Smack! “didn’t-” Smack! “you-” Smack! “tell-” Smack! “me-” Smack! “this-” Smack! “earlier?!” 
Eddie grabbed the pillow out of your hands and smacked you back. “Didn’t think it was important.”
“Not important?!” you gaped at him. “Edward Munson, I’m going to use that pillow to suffocate you. I’m so embarrassed now. I remember you as this super cool guy who made me feel better and I was just some random kid who was always crying- oof!”
Eddie smacked you with the pillow a bit harder than intended, but it didn’t matter with how much you two were laughing. 
“You think I’m super cool? Aww, I’m flattered. Maybe I will give you a few autographs to sell, seeing as how you’re my biggest fan.” He teased. 
“I take it back, I take it all back! You suck, and are super lame and not cool at all.” you grabbed the second pillow, slightly less flimsy than the one he was holding and smacked him again. 
“Sweetheart, you’re hurting my heart here.” He held his hand on his chest and gripped his shirt dramatically. “You were the first girl to ever come up to me and tell me you liked my playing, and now you’re taking it all back? I’m wounded.”
“I was?” There was no way that was right.
“Okay, you were the second. Ronnie might count as the first, but all she did was say ‘Fine, I guess we’re good enough we could try and start a band.’”
“And now you’re good enough to possibly get a record deal.” you said, smiling at him. 
“I’ll be sure to thank you when I get my first Grammy.” 
You leaned against the wall that his bed was cornered into and sighed. “I can’t believe you were Buzzcut Kid and that nice guy who stopped me from having a meltdown in the Principal’s office.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t recognize you until halfway through the night at the arcade.” Eddie offered. “I just saw Harrington with a pretty girl and assumed you were more like him.” 
“Steve and I are more of an ‘opposites attract’ pair. I didn’t think I’d end up friends with him, but he’s surprisingly fun to hang out with.” you picked up the flower again, noting how worn it looked. Wait, was that your phone number scribbled on it? “What tipped you off?”
“Air hockey.” Eddie said. “It was when you decided that we should pit freshmen against each other that I remembered Chris telling me once about a girl wanting to join Hellfire. He had made you out to be some sort of stuck-up who wasn’t actually interested and was just asking to fuck with us.”
“Fuck Chris Morrison.” you said, bitterly. 
“Fuck Chris Morrison.” Eddie agreed. “So when we were in the middle of making Wheeler and Henderson fight for our own entertainment, that’s when I recognized you. At the Hideout that’s when I was sure.”
“How did you figure?”
Eddie leaned in close with that same shit-eating grin from earlier. “Because you looked at me the exact same way you did the night at the talent show when we played.” 
“Oh, shit.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh of embarrassment. “I’ve never had a good poker face. Do I even want to know how I looked at you?”
“Only like I’m the coolest guy you’ve ever seen in your life.” He said with a nonchalant shrug, but his eyes still had that glint that made you want to smack him with a pillow again. 
“I’m mad, but only because I know you’re right. You, Eddie, are actually the coolest person in Hawkins and also the biggest nerd I’ve ever met.” You crossed your arms and nudged him with your knee. 
“I find that hard to believe, since you’ve met Henderson.” Eddie nudged you back with his knee and you didn’t miss the way he shifted closer to you. “Kid’s probably the smartest person I know. Don’t tell him I said that.” 
“I’m telling him.” you said instantly, giving your own shit-eating grin. “I am forever in Dustin’s debt. He can rent any movie that’s not porn from Family Video as long as I’m on shift and he gets first dibs on any almost expired candy. There’s no way I’m not gonna tell him when someone says something nice about him.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow, or at least you assumed he did because his bangs moved slightly as he looked at you. “And what, pray tell, did the little shrimp do to garner such favor with you?” He shifted a little closer under the guise of getting comfortable, and now his leg was oh-so-casually touching yours. The movement was as subtle as your poker face.  
You might not have had Steve’s long track record of dating and sex, but you weren’t completely oblivious. There was no way you were going to keep any sort of neutral expression with what would inevitably happen here soon, so you decided to just lean into it. It’s not like anyone was here to interrupt this time. 
You moved yourself closer to him now, adjusting yourself so that your shoulders were now touching. It wasn’t exactly an ideal position, but it was at least your sign to him that you were not against body contact. 
It occurred to you that you were also sitting on his bed, alone. Okay, that thought had occurred to you earlier, but that had been a hypothetical. A fleeting dirty thought about Eddie as a way to blow off steam while you tried to stop your simmering anger for Chris from boiling over. 
This was starting to feel real now, and you absently licked your lower lip, your cheeks warming up. Eddie’s eyes flicked from yours, down to your mouth and then back up to your eyes for a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it move. 
Perfect. 
“Well as we are now both aware, Steve and I had this thing where we would try and wing man for each other. I’d help him get dates, and he’d help me in return.” you said. 
“And I am still trying to figure out how Mr. Popularity was having trouble getting dates.” Eddie shifted his body towards you, but the contact remained. 
“Turns out that high school tactics don’t work after high school.” you shrugged. “So I gave him some tips, and it turns out he’s a fast learner. He really didn’t need my help, just a good smack in the head.” 
“What about you? Am I one of a long line of boys whose hearts you’re breaking?” It was a good thing you were sitting down, because he was giving you the most unfair puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. Had you been standing, that look might have made you weak in the knees.  
“You are the only guy I’ve been on a date with this whole time.” You admitted. 
“How long has this thing been going on?” 
“Late September, I think?” You tried to think back to that original conversation, but it felt like a lifetime ago. 
“That long and Steve could only suggest little old me? I thought you’d have people lining up to date you.” There was a sincerity behind his teasing that didn’t go unnoticed. 
“Steve said that it’d be easy for me to get random dates, but I am horribly picky, and the dating pool in Hawkins sucks.” You explained. “Steve didn’t even start holding up his end of the bargain until weeks in.”
“Okay, so walk me through how Steve Harrington cares enough about my existence to suggest me as a potential suitor for you.” Eddie looked at you. “I can’t get that out of my head.”
“Again, if you need me to set you up with Steve I’d be willing to-”
“No.” Eddie gave you a look that you were sure scared the freshmen at school, but it only made you laugh, which softened his gaze. 
“It was Dustin.” you managed to say between giggles. Your hand reached out and casually rested on his thigh, and you felt his leg twitch slightly under the denim of his jeans but didn’t pull away. “He loves to come in and talk to Steve and it turns out that there is one good thing about being in that stupid school, and that’s you.” 
“Henderson said that?” He looked genuinely surprised. 
“Dustin Henderson has two male role models in his life, and that’s Steve Harrington and you.” Your thumb rubbed absently along his jeans. “Steve knew I wasn’t going to be interested in just anyone, so after hearing all about the kid’s grand adventures with you, Steve and Dustin set up the meeting at the arcade.”
“That little shit.” Eddie leaned his head against the wall.  
“And when you totally ditched me, Steve decided to try again at the Hideout.” you nudged him with your shoulder. “I figured that I’d blown any chance with you, so there was nothing to lose by hitting on you and playing up my alcohol intake just a little bit.” 
Eddie’s head snapped to yours so fast that you were surprised he didn’t hurt himself. “What? I thought Steve ditched you.”
“No, he’d never!” you said quickly. “I.... told him to leave so that I could spend more time with you because he was, hm... how do I say this- he was cockblocking me.” 
Eddie’s laughter echoed through the trailer, filling the small space up with life in the exact opposite way that Chris’s laughter had done in the theater. The sound alone washed away any remaining anger about the day. “Shit... I was ready to fight him in your honor. I thought he left a drunk girl at the Hideout alone with no way to get home. You’re a crafty one.”
“I have my moments.” you said with a grin, waving the paper flower. 
Eddie plucked it from your hand and looked it over, before leaning to set it aside on top of his copy of The Hobbit. He sat close to you and his arm casually draped around your shoulders as he leaned back against the wall with you. 
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, despite the palpable tension between the two of you. You knew what was coming, it was written all over your body language as well as his. Everything was out in the open now, no more cryptic words, or weird miscommunications. Whatever was next, was anyone’s move. 
You leaned your head on his shoulder, taking in the moment to enjoy how nice the weight of his arm around you felt. When was the last time you had any sort of physical intimacy with someone outside of hugging your friends? Eddie’s thumb rubbed along your shoulder soothingly, and your hand mimicked the movement on his lower thigh.
Every time he shifted, your stomach tensed up and you wondered if this was it. It wasn’t. Time slipped away from the two of you as you rested on his bed, cuddling with each other. The tension between you never eased up- even when your heart beat slowed down, it wouldn’t be long until a simple touch brought it back up. 
Finally his fingers started sliding down your arm, calloused fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake. Sturdy fingers found yours and laced through them, and you felt the heavy rings on his fingers press into your skin. It was a slightly awkward position, with his arm now between your back and the wall, but it was progress. 
The stillness between you was different. Normally, the two of you were unable to shut up, always finding new things to talk about, to learn about each other, to explore with this tentative new bond forming between the two of you. Now? There wasn’t the same rush as before, the two of you could just exist by each other. More talking would happen in the future, but for now you leaned against him and waited for something better to do with your lips. 
You shifted and looked over at Eddie, realizing how close his head really was to yours. He wasn’t looking at you though, his eyes were watching the way your fingers were now messing with the torn fabric of his jeans, your thumb moving between denim and skin. You wondered if that spot on his leg burned the same way that your skin currently was.
Eddie smelled nice. There was the faint smell of cigarettes that lingered on his clothes, but whatever body wash and detergent he used seemed to neutralize most of it. Other than that, he didn’t smell like any object or scent that you could put your mind on. You took a slow deep breath through your nose and decided he smelled earthy and warm like late summer or early autumn, with an undertone of boy. 
What was he thinking right now? Was Eddie feeling the tension between the two of you the same way you were? You didn’t think you were misreading this situation, you’d done this before. Something would have to give soon, were you not being obvious enough? Shit, maybe some of Steve’s advice would have been good here. The two other times you had been in a situation like this, you were the one to make the move first, having grown impatient. But Eddie had clearly been the one to start leaning in first at the movies, right? Was it so wrong for you to want him to make the move? 
Maybe he didn’t want to start because of what happened with Chris? Did he think making a move on you when you were upset over being hit on was tacky? That might be it. Why did that only make you want him more? 
You did a quick check in with yourself over this. Were you mad at Chris? Yes. Were you mad he hit on you? Yes. Did you want Eddie to make a move? Yes. Did you only want Eddie to make a move so that you could forget about Chris? No. You wanted Eddie to do it because you liked Eddie.
Why was this so-
Something bumped your forehead and you realized as you were zoning out that Eddie had been staring at you now. This close, you could see every shade of brown in his round eyes. He shifted slightly again, and your heart jumped into your throat. Warmth flooded you from your cheeks to your toes as you felt his finger twitch against yours. 
“Hey.” Eddie’s voice was quiet in your ear, and it made the back of your neck tingle. “You good? You’ve been staring at my knee for a while.” 
“Sorry, it’s just the sexiest knee I’ve ever seen.” You said, smiling at him.
“Yeah? What about my other knee?” His breath ghosted over face as he let out a laugh. 
“It’s just okay.” The tension was easing a bit between the two of you, and you were torn on if this was a good thing or not. 
Eddie moved so that his shoulder was against the wall and he was facing you. You adjusted yourself accordingly, heart pounding in your chest as your eyes flicked down to his lips for a second before meeting his eyes again. 
“Are you sure you’re good?” He asked, staring at you intensely. 
You were good. You were so good. Actually, if something didn’t happen here soon then that would be the reason you would be not-good. 
“I am now.” You squeezed his hand and gave him a look that you desperately hoped he read as ‘Yes you can do it Eddie I am of sound mind and body and if you don’t do it I may actually explode from the tension between the two of us-’ 
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Eddie’s lips finally found yours for just a brief moment before pulling back slightly. You followed his lips, not letting him get away that easily. Your lips met again, and this time he didn’t pull back. His hand reached up to cup your jaw, his fingers lightly brushing against the back of your neck in a way that made the delicate hairs there stand on end. 
When the two of you broke apart, it was you who pulled back after a few moments with a smile. 
“So...” Eddie said, looking at you. 
“So...” you echoed. 
“Still good?” he asked. 
“Hmm...” you considered for a moment. “I don’t know. I think you should do that again, just to make sure.”
Eddie’s eyes lit up in a way that you had only ever seen on stage so far. This time there was no hesitation in his movements as he pulled you closer again and kissed you. You grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down on the bed with you, not letting your lips part. 
One of his hands rested on you side while the other was used to keep himself from squishing you under him. If he had, you wouldn’t have minded. 
In a lot of romance stories, you had always heard phrases like ‘he kissed her breathless’ or ‘she let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding’. You had always waited for the day that someone would kiss you like that, but now with Eddie you realized that wasn’t what you needed. 
Because for the first time in a long while, with Eddie nipping at your lower lip and slipping his tongue into your mouth, you felt the exact opposite. 
For the first time in so long, you felt like you could finally breathe. 
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a/n: Holy smokes, y'all finally got smooched! But don't worry, the party's not over yet. I still have a few chapters before everything wraps up! I've had the First Meeting written out since March or April, and I though that would make the rest of the chapter faster to write. I was wrong lol
Dividers by: @strangergraphics
Tag List @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n
@mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea
@vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93
@perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh
@siriuslysmoking @huffledor-able541 @pookiesnatcher @eddiesguitarskills @browneyes-8288
@sheneedsrocknroll92 @kores-mun-son-n-more @eddiebuttcheeks
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t4tstarrailing · 2 days
Text
avenhill headcanons
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man they're just gestures wildly so boring and domestic to me it's great. I get that feeling about a lot of boothill ships I like (bootheng, bootllum)
two deeply traumatized guys traumatized by the same organization.
in a relationship where people just. really do not know if they're together or not. yeah they're physically affectionate with each other, but they're not necessarily kissing or hugging. it's moreso them sitting together, boothill throwing his arm around aventurine's shoulders while he's doing something. are they qpr? are they romantic? no one really knows, but everyone just knows they're good for each other
rancher au where, following penacony and learning about the Avgins, boothill takes aventurine and fucks off to a planet where he can just ranch and keep a house for the rest of his life. no expectations, whatever he wants, whatever he needs. just freedom, whatever that looks like to him
sometimes aventurine describes him as a "weird fucked up cat" because of all the weird shit he steals for him and drops off with no explanation. sometimes it'll be expensive whiskey, sometimes a massive block of cheese.
both have the "I need to make you food" love language with each other. which, is great! because no one goes unfed. however, this has resulted in arguments and some pouty grown ass men upset that they can't make food for the other. and it has resulted in some weird standoffs about who is making food that night.
slowly they've come to an agreement how relationship balances. boothill makes breakfast since aventurine isn't a morning person and is barely functioning when he wakes up. aventurine makes supper and helps boothill with basic nightly body maintenance. boothill is also fiddling with a project that he hand makes for aventurine almost all the time. there's never a shortage of little knick knacks around the ranch house.
after his deep in the nihility abyss, aventurine lost a lot of weight. so after a few months of being with boothill and away from that situation, he finally started putting weight back on. which resulted in him getting his baby face back and boothill getting the worst cute aggression over it. seriously, he can't stop himself from holding aventurine's face and smooching his cheek, fighting the urge to take a small chomp.
aventurine is a back sleeper. boothill is a stomach sleeper. boothill makes a very nice weighted, heated blanket and white noise machine for aventurine. and boothill's hair is very fun for aventurine to play with when he's struggling with insomnia or nightmares.
sex life is almost non-existent and they're fine with it. very low sex drive, and honestly they'll only have sex like once or twice a month. most of the time it's just catching up, chatting, seeing how each other are, where they are mentally and emotionally.
they are, however, having nightly phone calls or FaceTime sessions if reception allows it. aventurine usually falls asleep on the call while boothill hangs up after he hears aventurine snoring. it's not unusual for aventurine's phone to be at 10 percent when he wakes up.
dates look like finding a pretty place and camping out for the night. getting a nice cigarette to light, maybe a joint, most definitely some whiskey. boothill quietly playing a song on his guitar while aventurine watches the stars. aventurine resting his head on boothill's shoulder and dozing off
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mlm pride dividers by @/cafekitsune
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Note
S/O dragged Skeleton along with them to a trampoline park
Undertale Sans - He's lying on the floor as a bunch of children are jumping all around him. All you can see is his body flying from time to time from one trampoline to another because someone managed to make him move. He's sleeping the whole time though, and doesn't mind much actually.
Undertale Papyrus - You made the mistake of taking Undyne with you two. Undyne immediately taunts Papyrus to jump higher. They both jump so high they're now stuck to the ceiling, holding for dear life to a cross beam and begging you to call for help because they can't get down. You're banned from the trampoline park at the end of the day.
Underswap Sans - He's super fast, his body so light he's bouncing uncontrollably from one trampoline to the other. You can't keep up with him, you just can't. After an hour, he still has the same energy while you're lying on the floor like a dying sea star, unable to lift a leg anymore. He can't be stopped.
Underswap Papyrus - He jumps two times, slips, and slams his face on the only spot unprotected with foam, knocking himself out in three seconds. How did that skeleton survive so long again? It's a mystery to you.
Underfell Sans - He's playfully hunting you, randomly jumping on your back to bite your shoulder like a shark. He can never get bored of this game. The worst part is that he's teleporting every time you turn around, so you never see him coming. You're living in fear right now.
Underfell Papyrus - You engaged in a foam sword battle with him. Edge takes that personally, grabs your legs midair, and throws you behind him, making you fly above his head. You crash into the foam pit in a scream, and as you manage to reach the surface of the pit, all you see is Edge jumping, screaming like a warrior, his foam sword above the head, as he's about to slam it in your face at full force. Good luck with that.
Horrortale Sans - He's a bit uncomfortable with all these people around. There's a lot of people around and you're putting yourself in danger by jumping everywhere near them. So sometimes, Oak just catches you in the air and keeps you close to him, growling at people passing by while hugging you close. He even snaps at a random guy who jumped too close to the hole in his head.
Horrortale Papyrus - He's sitting in the corner of the room, watching you having fun. He's sad he can't do this anymore. But he got a milkshake instead so it's not a bad day either. He's a bit nostalgic.
Swapfell Sans - He's screeching angrily, trying to get you, but he's ridiculously so light you just have to jump next to him to make him fly a few meters away. Nox is getting frustrated and starts to play dirty, using his magic to make you trip or throw himself onto you by grabbing your soul. He's desperate to knock you over.
Swapfell Papyrus - He's having fun, bouncing everywhere he can. He even found a glitch where he could bounce from one trampoline to another in an automatic mode. And now he refuses to leave that spot because it's so cool, look at him! He's king of the trampolines.
Fellswap Gold Sans - You want him to walk on this trampoline? The same on which he just saw 20 filthy humans walking with dirty naked feet? Ew. Hell no. He's staying out of that thing. You push him and watch as his body uncontrollably bounces from one trampoline to another to another... Wine probably fell on each trampoline of the park at this point, screaming in horror at every impact. He feels dirty. He's going to be sick. He's begging you, let him out of this hell!
Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's very excited, jumping everywhere around him and not looking where he's going. Until he faceplants into a man who immediately starts to scream at him. Poor Coffee runs to hide behind you and refuses to leave your side after that. Aw :(
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decentsoupperson · 2 days
Note
Tw SA/Abuse mentions of murder
I have a Criminal AU and I’m wondering your thoughts on it. You may know about it, I sent asks about it to Things.
Lucifer is a serial killer who goes by the name “Devil” because of his brutal way of killing people + because there is always a pentagram drawn near his work. He hunts people who he thinks that weren’t punished enough by the law. Other than that, he’s the boss of a big company.
He had a wife before, Lilith. She was cool at the start, but then became more and more abusive, especially to Lu. They got divorced and Lilith demanded Lucifer’s money at a point he almost failed to give despite owning a huge company. And the worst part, she got away with what he did to him, not a single punishment.
Adam on the other hand, is a thief and assasin who lost most of his moralties a long time ago after everyone he knew turned against him. He’s working for Michael, he accepted his offer because he needed money for the treatment his daughter had to take.
Speaking of his daughter, let me tell you how she was born.
Adam was at his lowest, he had just lost his boys, his wife and his farm not so long ago. Eve went to a different country, Cain was in child prison (idk what they call it) and Abel was dead. He is a bartender and barely making enough money for himself.
Then he meets Lilith. The same Lilith who is still married to Lucifer. They start a relationship and Adam thinks he could finally move on from Eve. But NO! Lilith is an abusive piece of shit to him as well. Her abuse towards Adam grows more and more until one day… She does undescribable things to him and gets pregnant. And kind of leaves the diseased child and fades out of Adam’s life once the kid is born.
One day these traumatized boys meet. Adam is robbing the house of a rich man and Lucifer is there to kill the man. They see each other, then Lucifer attacks Adam. He has him on the floor ready to be killed but it clicks in him that this is also a criminal and wouldn’t dare report him. Then they go to their seperate ways.
Or so they think. They keep stumbling to each other and they slowly fall in love.
Hehe
I've seen your posts about it, and I love the idea!
Also, kid jail is juvenile detention.
What kind of disease does Emily have? Or is it just in general like maybe a weak immune system?
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Oooohhhhh have an old ramble I wrote to myself when first getting into DN!!
- so I keep seeing these “L is actually a very emotional and vulnerable person!” posts and I do agree with them wholeheartedly (there are many many moments in DN where L exposes himself emotionally where he did not have to and that makes my brain rot every time) but I also sometimes really enjoy analyzing his cold calculated side at work
- Basically, I just… really enjoy the romance of two awful people loving the worst in each other
- Because while, yes, L Lawliet is a very sensitive, even compassionate character, he can also be cruel. Not needlessly cruel, not thoughtlessly cruel, not cruel for the hell of it, but yk—motivations don’t really matter in Death Note, only the actions and consequences do. But cruel out of necessity, really, more than anything else
- And while this could be argued for his more empathetic nature as he doesn’t really want to hurt people, I also don’t think he regrets it. He does all that he can to reduce harm, but he doesn’t kid himself that he can avoid it entirely. I think he’d also acknowledge that those harms could’ve been prevented if other action was taken, but at the end of the day, what’s done is done. He did his best, and that’s it
- He also drags out the game with Kira more than he had too—and it could be that his love for Light drove him to delaying the inevitable, but I also think it was his love of the game. He was entertained, he was puzzled, he was terrified. No one else had ever made him feel this way on a case; Kira was the first to truly defeat L using the same rules he did. I expect it was as delightful as it was horrifying for him—like finding a sharp razor blade in a strawberry cake, so to speak
- And I do think he was in love with Kira as much as he was in love with Light. I also think he hated him as much as he loved him, and I think he hated that the game had to end with one of them dying. Remember, L only takes cases that alleviate his boredom; his cause is not solely for justice, like Light. I think he must’ve been angry and betrayed on the day he realized he would die. That Kira would kill him to get that perfect world, that Light saw that perfect world without L and L saw his perfect world full of Light: atrocities included
- Anyways, L is a very morally complex character and I love to dissect him for it. I do understand why people dislike characterizing him as a cold, calculating machine (and I do too because that’s not ALL he is) but I also don’t think his colder traits are that bad. He has so much empathy and emotion and vulnerability to counterbalance that stone logic and it makes for a very nice internal battle to see lol
- The reason why I don’t want to overlook his more stereotypically calculating flaws (and strengths) is because I personally find nothing so compelling as someone falling in love with all of you, even—and especially—with all of your monsters. And finding that you love their monsters too
ANYWAYS ppl are for sure completely ok to disagree w/all of this; I based most of this interpretation off the anime version of L when I got into DN roughly a year ago. Also! I love hearing different perspectives on him and other characters as well so pls send me your thoughts ok ty byeeee!!!
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ruporas · 1 year
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can’t talk about it
[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.
Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."
The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"
The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."
The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."
The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."
The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged#back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this#department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being#alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever#badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of#guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too#i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time#it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally.#evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay#they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their#desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even#if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years#they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg#and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone.#ruporas art
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milkweedman · 1 month
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Knitting a freehand bag and started wondering how often people even use patterns, anyway. So--how often do you use a pattern when you make things ? This include knitting/crochet/sewing/weaving/nalbinding/bobbin lace/tatting/etc but also things like woodworking, cooking, and baking. If you want to just pick the thing you do most often that's fine.
I personally do not use patterns as I find them far more confusing than just figuring out the construction of an item and simply making it. I do very occasionally browse ravelry for inspiration but have downloaded maybe 2. In the 5 or so years since I joined. And have followed exactly 1, which I modified every single aspect of. In my defense, dyslexia.
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hum--hallelujah · 11 months
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like a sledgehammer to a disco ball - 3.9k words, Fun Ghoul angst and protective Kobra Kid
Kobra jerks awake at the first creak of the floor. The only person who has any right to be in his room at night knows better than to step where the floor creaks. Instinct takes over and he's holding his blaster at body height by the time his brain and eyes are awake enough to see through the dark.
"It's me, it's me, it's me," Ghoul stammers, holding his hands defensively in the air. Only, it sounds more like "'smee," because of the way Ghoul is slurring. And he's bleeding.
Kobra drops the blaster as soon as he realizes that the dark smear across Ghoul's face is blood. "What the hell, man," he hisses, groping in the dark for a light with one hand and trying to pat Ghoul down to make sure he's not like, actively dying, with the other. He could be blackout drunk or he could have gone out alone like he does sometimes and any number of things could have happened. The cold metal of an old flashlight meets his fingers and he flicks it on, shining the dim light over Ghoul.
"I did something stupid," Ghoul says. Only, it comes out as "Uh did su'hn stooid," wavering slightly, because the entire right side of Ghoul's face, from the corner of his mouth to his cheekbone, is sliced open. There's a horrific flap of flesh hanging loose that's supposed to be connected to the rest of his face. That's where the blood staining his face and clothes and hands is coming from, and why when he speaks, it sounds wrong.
"Holy shit," Kobra whispers, feeling cold Zone night air sting his eyes because they're open so wide. "Okay. Okay, what happened?" He holds Ghoul carefully by one arm, feels the way he's shaking. He's always shaking, except when he's got his hands in a bomb. This is worse than normal though. This is so much worse than anything Kobra's ever seen.
Ghoul shrugs, waves his hands vaguely and wildly. Kobra hisses a sharp breath through his teeth, frantically runs a hand through his hair. "Okay," He says again. "I'm gonna get-" He needs Jet, de facto medic, he needs Party, needs his brother-
"No," Ghoul says sharply, and that at least is completely clear. His eyes are wild from what Kobra can see in the dark. If human eyes could glow, his would. He grips Kobra's arms. "Please don't," he mumbles around the gruesome injury. His voice is high and frantic, and it has to hurt to talk. "Just you."
Kobra freezes. There's a slowly building feeling of dread, growing stronger by the moment. He pulls Ghoul off him, holds him by the wrists. "Okay. Just me," he promises, and feels sick about it. "Just me."
Ghoul noticeably relaxes, though he's still trembling head to toe, and lets Kobra drag him across the diner in near-silence aside from the occasional seemingly involuntary whimper on Ghoul's part, into the single-stall bathroom with a barely working lightbulb. Somehow, they make it past the front room where Party sleeps without waking him, much as Kobra wants to let his brother take care of this. He's practically trembling at how badly he wants Pois right now.
There's a medical kit in the cabinet that Kobra pulls out immediately. He knows how to handle this, physically speaking. It's whatever else, the shit he doesn't know and is scared to find out, like how this freaking happened, that makes him nervous. Ghoul stands in the flickering light like he doesn't know what to do.
"Sit the fuck down," Kobra snaps nervously, gesturing to the toilet lid. Ghoul does. Kobra pulls a dubiously clean rag from the cabinet and eyes it. It scares him to see Ghoul like this. Usually if he's scared, he fights. He hisses and spits and claws at whoever comes near him. More often than not, that's Kobra. But this, the wide-eyed jittering, is a whole other animal.
"This whole thing is gonna suck," he says stiffly. Ghoul nods. With a little more light, Kobra can see the thick, shiny blood streaming from the wound through his cheek. It isn't enough that Kobra's afraid Ghoul will bleed out, but the cut is so long and clear through and absolutely grotesque. He crouches down in front of where Ghoul is sitting, sideways on the toilet, and he can't tell if Ghoul is looking at him or through him, almost as if he's the ghost.
In a quick motion that startles both of them, probably, Kobra grabs the back of Ghoul's head with one hand and presses the rag to the seeping wound with the other. Ghoul's eyes go even wider and even greener, and what starts out as a shout of pain from him turns into a choked keening sound. Hearing it feels like being stabbed.
"What happened?" Asks Kobra again, when he's convinced that the bleeding has slowed enough to try and actually deal with this thing. He twists the handle on the faucet on and off, on and off, enough times that the ancient water pump starts up and clean water gurgles into the sink. He cleans the rag that way, then wets it and wrings it out before shutting the water off.
Ghoul's shoulders rise and fall in short, panicky breaths. "I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry. I'm- I didn't think, it was stupid, I'm sorry," he continues babbling like that before going silent again aside from the sharp sounds of his breathing.
In a testament to Kobra's selfishness, his biggest worry is that Ghoul took his motorbike out for a spin and crashed it. He can't think of what could have caused something like this. He has visions of his bike sliding out on a turn, crumbled metal and Ghoul's body flying through the air. But if that had happened he'd be hurt other than this. If that had happened he might be dead.
"Yo," he says quietly. "Chill. Just tell me what happened." He presses the now-damp rag to Ghoul's face, trying to ignore just how grotesque the wound really is. Maybe because it's fresh, maybe because of the fear, but somehow it's worse than the space where Jet's other eye used to be. Kobra never wanted to see an injury of that level on another person again in his life, let alone someone he cares about.
Ghoul flinches away, but Kobra shoots him a look and it must process somehow, because he stills and lets Kobra clean the already drying blood away from the edges of the wound with barely a whine. "It was stupid," he repeats, his voice shaking as much as it's slurring. "I don't know why I did it, Kid."
Something about the way he says that, voice small and wavering, sends a chill down Kobra's throat. Sudden understanding dawns on him. The blood on Ghoul's hands. He's not injured anywhere else. "You did that to yourself?" Kobra asks hoarsely.
Ghoul's eyes snap onto his and the rest of the color drains from his face. Kobra thinks he's going to pass out for a second, but he doesn't. He pulls as far away as he can, scrabbling awkwardly against the cold tiles and porcelain of the bathroom. "I don't know what I though, I was stupid, I don't- Kobra," he whines, with enough animalistic despair that Kobra wants suddenly to burst into tears, if he weren't so utterly stunned.
"Ghoul, calm down, I've gotta stitch it still," he says on autopilot. "Cool your engine, man."
Maybe it's the practicality of the thing that makes Ghoul momentarily stop panicking. "I'm sorry," he says again, tears welling in his eyes that he then blinks away half-frantically. Kobra's never heard him apologize for anything before tonight. He never wants to hear it again.
"It's okay, man. I've got you." He replies. If his own voice is shaking now, too, no the hell it isn't. "Come on, you have to let me..." he trails off, eyes wide. "Ghoul, why..." Then he shakes his head. He can't think about that now. He needs to disinfect the wound and stitch it up. And it's going to hurt Ghoul really, really badly.
He reaches behind him, grabs at the bottle of alcohol. This stuff is rare out in the Zones. They try to use it as little as possible. Only in emergencies. This is enough of an emergency, though. This is a fucking crisis.
He pours the bare minimum of the alcohol onto another piece of cloth, feels the cold soak in. Ghoul watches every move with jerking, stilted intensity. Kobra looks up at him from where he's now kneeling on the cold tile. He puts a hand behind Ghoul's head again. "This is going to hurt," he warns. They've nearly gouged each other's eyes out before, yet suddenly Kobra feels like he's going to be sick at the thought of causing Ghoul any more pain. Ghoul shuts his eyes in preparation.
Ghoul still nearly screams when Kobra dabs the alcohol over his wound. Kobra can see it in the way he holds his breath, the spring-tight tension in Ghoul's entire body. The only noise he makes is a quiet, drawn out whine, though. When a tear streaks down his cheekbone, Kobra catches it before a drop of salt can enter the wound.
"'Kay," he says in a ragged whisper. "That's done. Now I have to-" he gestures like he's sewing. Ghoul's eyes pop open to see what he's saying and he visibly forces himself to breathe again.
"'Kay," Ghoul says back in an equally torn up voice.
It only takes Kobra three tries to thread a needle. Medical supplies of any type are hard to come by, a whole new kind of commodity, but this stash has been here for as long as he can remember, just in case. Blaster burns, the most common injuries amongst 'Joys, come pre-cauterized. He's rarely had to sew sutures before.
Ghoul flinches back when the tip of the needle first touches the edge of his torn skin, and Kobra pauses. "Hold still," he grumbles, more out of familiar sniping than any real frustration at this point. He keeps his hand in Ghoul's hair the entire time he sews.
The feeling of a needle piercing flesh is horrible. The fact that it's his friend, someone he'd give his life for before seeing them hurt, is even worse. Kobra wants to fucking throatpunch whoever did this to Ghoul, or better, do the same thing to them, before he remembers with a sinking feeling in his stomach that Ghoul did this to himself.
He ties off the suture just barely keeping his hands from shaking. He doesn't know how Ghoul does this with bombs. Ghoul flinches again, violently, when Kobra cuts the excess line, and Kobra has to jerk back to keep from catching a flailing, uncoordinated fist in the face.
"Hey," he snaps. "Ghoul!"
Ghoul slips off the toilet lid and onto the floor almost as if he intended it but halfway as an accident and immediately curls in on himself. He pulls his knees to his chest and curls his arms around his head and Kobra can hear him hyperventilating. Kobra fucking freezes. He's used to fighting and wrestling and knee-jerk reactions that wind up with someone sporting a black eye. He is terrified right now. And there's still Ghoul's blood on his hands, too.
"Ghoul..." He cautiously reaches out, puts a hand on Ghoul's leg. Ghoul twitches, lets out a hiccupy sound that takes a moment to register in Kobra's mind as a sob. Ghoul, chaos loving, cackling Ghoul, is crying. And not just a single tear, now, his whole body is shuddering with the force of how hard he's crying. Kobra's heart is pounding with how hard he does not know what's happening, but he grips Ghoul's arm and lightly shakes him. "Hey, I'm still here, man."
Ghoul makes that keening whine again and Kobra thinks at first that he's going to pull away at best, or throw a real punch at worst. They fight enough, for any and no reason at all, that he expects it now. That's their normal. This isn't.
Ghoul scrambles to his knees, his hands finding the front of Kobra's shirt. This restroom is small, they're already in close quarters. But maybe unintentionally, maybe just scrabbling for a little purchase on anything, Ghoul winds up grabbing onto Kobra. And Kobra has always had a hard time letting anything go.
Ghoul's forehead crashes into his shoulder and Kobra instinctively puts his hands up, grabs back onto Ghoul in return. Ghoul's usual shaking is familiar to him, but the repressed wracking sobs aren't. Kobra clutches desperately around Ghoul's back, like he could hold together what he's just sewn up, like if he keeps Ghoul close enough he can't shake into pieces. No one should be able to break Ghoul. Not even Ghoul himself.
The edges of the cabinet dig into Kobra's back, but he ignores it. Ghoul is folding in on himself, making himself as small as he can against Kobra, and Kobra doesn't fucking know what to do. He's never seen Ghoul cry like this. He's never seen anyone cry like this.
"It hurts," cries Ghoul suddenly.
"I know," Kobra says, before he realizes that crying like this is probably making everything worse, that he'd worried about salt in the wound a minute before for this exact reason. He can't imagine the pain Ghoul is probably in.
"It didn't hurt at first," Ghoul mumbles, then chokes on a sob. "It didn't hurt when I started. And then it did."
Kobra wants to ask again, why? But he won't get anything intelligible. There's a part of him that doesn't want to know. He's terrified of knowing the truth. Instead, he threads his fingers through Ghoul's hair again and just repeats, "I know. I know."
A few minutes pass in speedy, spiraling silence. The only sound between them is their shared too-fast breathing.
"I can't," stammers Ghoul finally, after his cries have tapered out into raspy gasps. "I can't turn it on or off."
"Huh?" Is all Kobra can think to say. "Ghoul, you're not making sense, nothing about this makes sense," he snips, too quick and too tense. He's so beyond his depth. He wants Jet or Party to come help but he can't have it his way because he promised. He promised Ghoul. He wants to hit something. A wall, just to feel the impact. To imagine he's hitting whatever it is that hurt his friend so badly he hurt himself.
Ghoul sniffs. All Kobra can see of him is the top of his head and the cheek with the stitches. The wound is swollen and red and is going to leave a horrific scar. Kobra clenches his fist tighter behind Ghoul's back. "When I'm having fun or not," Ghoul says. "I can't. I am or I'm not. But."
"But what?" For fuck's sake, Kobra just wants to understand. He can read Ghoul like a book from cover to cover most times, and it scares him that he's so lost right now.
"It isn't good enough," he mumbles. "It's... It's in my fuckin' name, Kid, if I can't live up to that what am I?"
Kobra stares, wide-eyed, at the wall across from him. Something clicks. The clean cut through Ghoul's face, clearly from a recently sharpened knife, clearly intentional, reached from the corner of his lips almost to his ear. "Oh fuck no," he whispers. "Hell no. What the fuck. You're not-" He feels himself shaking suddenly, with restrained searing hot anger. Ghoul cut his head open, mutilated himself, to make himself permanently grin. "You're not fucking beholden to your fucking name," Kobra says. He never swears this much, only in his own mind. He's running out of words. "Fuck," he says, with feeling.
Ghoul shudders again. "I'm fuckin insane, aren't I?" He asks with sudden clarity.
It's exactly what Kobra had been thinking, for once completely unable to figure out Ghoul's mind, but he can't just say that. He can't just say that he's terrified because nothing makes sense and he's never going to freaking leave Ghoul alone again because this is all completely unhinged on so many levels that he can't even begin to sort through it. He can't say anything. He hopes Ghoul is sane enough to understand that, at least.
He just holds his friend tighter. He wants his brother more than anything right now, wants Party to come and take this weight out of his hands, but a part of him knows that even if he did, he wouldn't be able to let go of Ghoul. Why didn't Ghoul want anyone else but him? Why, after pretty much imprinting on Party like a feral kitten when they'd first met, to the point that sometimes Kobra thinks bitterly than Ghoul might know Party better than his own brother does, did he come to him? Why did he do any of this?
If a few tears of his own drip down Kobra's nose and land in Ghoul's tangled hair, no the hell they don't. He's never seen anyone go to pieces like this and he's struck dumb at the fact that it's literal. Very, very literally, Ghoul has gone to pieces. Taken a knife, that's probably still lying on the floor of his abandoned-office bedroom, and cut a line through his own cheek just so others might see a smile there.
There's crazy in his veins. Acid, maybe. And Kobra's always known that even if Party recognized it first. Watching your whole family die, failing to save your baby sibling, doesn't leave a person without any scars. Only, now, the scar is far too visible. Kobra's always known that Ghoul is more wild than any of them. Feral, unpredictable. He was raised by a pair of Killjoys who named themselves Hoot and Holler, and the thing is, a ghoul is just a ghost, and ghosts wail too. He should have known.
"I should've known," he says out loud, the first words in a while. He knows Ghoul so well. Better than he knows himself. He should have known something was wrong. He should never have left him alone. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He can't even blink. He stares hard at the opposite wall and tries not to scream.
Ghoul shakes his head against Kobra's shoulder and winces. "Nuh-uh," he mumbles. "I'm crazy, man. I'm insane." The fuzzy way it sounds around the stitches and the swelling just seems like proof. Just last night Ghoul's cheek was smooth and soft as he grinned across a table in triumph after winning a card game. How is it that that was just a few hours ago? He shudders again. "I'm scared," he says more quietly.
"Me too," Kobra says. As soon as the sun comes up he thinks he's going to storm out into the desert and find something, anything to beat up. Even a freakin cactus would do at this point. He doesn't know how he's going to explain this to Pois or Jet but he knows that much. He's gonna shake so hard he blows up, like a can of soda, unless he hits something. "I fucking hate you," he snaps suddenly.
Ghoul starts to flinch away, but Kobra doesn't let him. In fact, he curls tighter around him without even knowing why. "What the hell," Ghoul rasps.
Kobra hisses through his teeth. Speaking of living up to names. He fucking hates anyone who hurts his friends. But he can't say it. Hard as he tries, in the one moment of clarity about his own mind that he has, he can't speak.
"I fucking hate me, too," Ghoul says finally. The single dusty lightbulb above them flickers. If it goes out, they'll be in total darkness. Kobra thinks one or both of them might have a wicked eyeshine by now. The desert makes you wild. For some people, they're born that way.
"I think you're my best friend," Kobra finally manages to whisper. It isn't exactly what he was going for. It's not something he would ever say if he had thought of it before it popped out of his mouth. But Ghoul gets the point. Of course he does. Ghoul always gets his sharp edges, snakebite teeth and misspoken definitions and all.
"I think you're mine," Ghoul says back. "I'm-"
Kobra smacks the back of his head, like this is in any way normal, like they aren't collapsed on a dim bathroom floor in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning and like one of them isn't mutilated for life by his own hand. Like this isn't the worst thing they've ever gone through together. "If you say you're sorry again, I'll cut you myself."
It's rough, and it's torn up and pained and choked, but Ghoul laughs. Just a short bark of laughter, hardly like the dry, rasping cackle that Kobra knows so well. It sounds like agony but it also sounds like the sun coming up. Kobra makes a noise in the back of his throat, more whine than laugh, but he's so close to blowing up that it's as good as it gets. He wants to freaking die if that would keep Ghoul in one piece.
Ghoul shifts in Kobra's arms and pulls away just far enough to look him in the eye. He clumsily wipes at the tears and snot all over his face and Kobra has to snap a hand out to catch his wrist before he unthinkingly swipes at the fresh wound and stitches. "Kobra," Ghoul says, shivering in the dark. The sun won't take long to come up once it starts but until it does, the Zones are freezing. "Kobra."
"Yeah, man, I'm still right here." Kobra forces himself to look Ghoul in the eyes and not the stitches. The wound takes up so much of his face. It's all Kobra can see when he looks at Ghoul, his best friend's mutilated mouth, sliced open by his own hand. Kobra flinches just imagining it. He focuses instead on Ghoul's green eyes, boring holes into his head with the desperate pleading in them. "I'm still right here," Kobra repeats, quieter. Reminding himself, too.
Ghoul doesn't blink. Kobra doesn't blink. Their eyes reflect the dim light back at each other. This is what wild animals must feel for each other. Terror. Uncertainty. Just themselves, each other, and whatever comes. Ghoul licks his lips, tongue flicking briefly, visibly, to the corner of his mouth that he cut open. "Don't let me-" Ghoul starts and then falters. "You gotta make sure," he says. "Don't let me- do stupid shit like this, don't let me go crazy again, Kobra, please."
Kobra stares back at him, matching Ghoul's trembling desperation. He's known Ghoul since the day their crew found him, shell shocked between the shelves of an empty gas station with the bodies of his parents and previous crew around him. Perpetually shaking hands and feral bared teeth, animal eyeshine. No one can match Ghoul for determination, and no one knows Kobra as well as he does. Even if Ghoul does know his brother better than him, the same is true in reverse.
Kobra Kid has a hard fucking time ever letting go of anything once he's got it. Fun Ghoul holds on too loosely. They're both terrified. What a pair they make. But when Kobra Kid makes a promise, he means it. He grabs the ends of Ghoul's hair and pulls, not too hard, but hard enough. That's their normal. Play fighting and hair pulling, and they both know it's a kind of language for when they can't speak. "Okay," he says, and because it's a promise, he repeats it. "Okay."
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polite-pandemonium · 6 months
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There's this TikTok trending sound floating around where the gist is 'can't tell if the friend who is always fake flirting with you is still fake flirting' and I immediately thought of these two. It's practically canon IMHO.
Who is kicking up the fake flirting a notch differs between the two of them on the daily.
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icharchivist · 2 years
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Me right now. Icha are you okay
DMKJFDMLFKLMDFFD THANKS SWEETHEART YOUR SUPPORT ALWAYS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME
i'm not okay at all, imagine your OTP in a fandom has one of them say, pointblank, that he wants to have the other guy's children (yknow, for a book he’s writing), and then he smiles at the camera when the guy is just what was that because "yknow, for Fanservice". This is the world i've been living in since yesterday and i feel like death.
I've summed up the situation in little more details here (as in, why especially the fact this character is doing it AGAIN because it's like what, the 3rd? 4th time? he hits on the guy and then says it's a joke, or is it? and it's driving me insane that he keeps doing that), and the exact explanation on the child thing here (the full thread being all the more insane here)
But yeah also because of the one panel with the child my entire TL has errupted with conversation about how did the child even happen in this fantasy and so i've seen m/p/reg stuff. quite a few. And i have to live with the fact that it's canon that did this to us.
tl;dr local writer who loves to lie about everything to spice things up realizes messing with that one guy is so much fun that no matter how possibly reserved he is he will go completely off the wall insane just to tease that guy no matter how weird that is. And he uses how the guy react to his ideas as inspirations for his books. That's the world i live in. That's the ship i decided to stay on this hill to die for.
I'm being so normal right now.
So yeah, i'm not okay by any stretch and i want Gentaro to pay me emotional compensation.
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