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hum--hallelujah · 10 months

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like a sledgehammer to a disco ball - 3.9k words, Fun Ghoul angst and protective Kobra Kid

Kobra jerks awake at the first creak of the floor. The only person who has any right to be in his room at night knows better than to step where the floor creaks. Instinct takes over and he's holding his blaster at body height by the time his brain and eyes are awake enough to see through the dark.

"It's me, it's me, it's me," Ghoul stammers, holding his hands defensively in the air. Only, it sounds more like "'smee," because of the way Ghoul is slurring. And he's bleeding.

Kobra drops the blaster as soon as he realizes that the dark smear across Ghoul's face is blood. "What the hell, man," he hisses, groping in the dark for a light with one hand and trying to pat Ghoul down to make sure he's not like, actively dying, with the other. He could be blackout drunk or he could have gone out alone like he does sometimes and any number of things could have happened. The cold metal of an old flashlight meets his fingers and he flicks it on, shining the dim light over Ghoul.

"I did something stupid," Ghoul says. Only, it comes out as "Uh did su'hn stooid," wavering slightly, because the entire right side of Ghoul's face, from the corner of his mouth to his cheekbone, is sliced open. There's a horrific flap of flesh hanging loose that's supposed to be connected to the rest of his face. That's where the blood staining his face and clothes and hands is coming from, and why when he speaks, it sounds wrong.

"Holy shit," Kobra whispers, feeling cold Zone night air sting his eyes because they're open so wide. "Okay. Okay, what happened?" He holds Ghoul carefully by one arm, feels the way he's shaking. He's always shaking, except when he's got his hands in a bomb. This is worse than normal though. This is so much worse than anything Kobra's ever seen.

Ghoul shrugs, waves his hands vaguely and wildly. Kobra hisses a sharp breath through his teeth, frantically runs a hand through his hair. "Okay," He says again. "I'm gonna get-" He needs Jet, de facto medic, he needs Party, needs his brother-

"No," Ghoul says sharply, and that at least is completely clear. His eyes are wild from what Kobra can see in the dark. If human eyes could glow, his would. He grips Kobra's arms. "Please don't," he mumbles around the gruesome injury. His voice is high and frantic, and it has to hurt to talk. "Just you."

Kobra freezes. There's a slowly building feeling of dread, growing stronger by the moment. He pulls Ghoul off him, holds him by the wrists. "Okay. Just me," he promises, and feels sick about it. "Just me."

Ghoul noticeably relaxes, though he's still trembling head to toe, and lets Kobra drag him across the diner in near-silence aside from the occasional seemingly involuntary whimper on Ghoul's part, into the single-stall bathroom with a barely working lightbulb. Somehow, they make it past the front room where Party sleeps without waking him, much as Kobra wants to let his brother take care of this. He's practically trembling at how badly he wants Pois right now.

There's a medical kit in the cabinet that Kobra pulls out immediately. He knows how to handle this, physically speaking. It's whatever else, the shit he doesn't know and is scared to find out, like how this freaking happened, that makes him nervous. Ghoul stands in the flickering light like he doesn't know what to do.

"Sit the fuck down," Kobra snaps nervously, gesturing to the toilet lid. Ghoul does. Kobra pulls a dubiously clean rag from the cabinet and eyes it. It scares him to see Ghoul like this. Usually if he's scared, he fights. He hisses and spits and claws at whoever comes near him. More often than not, that's Kobra. But this, the wide-eyed jittering, is a whole other animal.

"This whole thing is gonna suck," he says stiffly. Ghoul nods. With a little more light, Kobra can see the thick, shiny blood streaming from the wound through his cheek. It isn't enough that Kobra's afraid Ghoul will bleed out, but the cut is so long and clear through and absolutely grotesque. He crouches down in front of where Ghoul is sitting, sideways on the toilet, and he can't tell if Ghoul is looking at him or through him, almost as if he's the ghost.

In a quick motion that startles both of them, probably, Kobra grabs the back of Ghoul's head with one hand and presses the rag to the seeping wound with the other. Ghoul's eyes go even wider and even greener, and what starts out as a shout of pain from him turns into a choked keening sound. Hearing it feels like being stabbed.

"What happened?" Asks Kobra again, when he's convinced that the bleeding has slowed enough to try and actually deal with this thing. He twists the handle on the faucet on and off, on and off, enough times that the ancient water pump starts up and clean water gurgles into the sink. He cleans the rag that way, then wets it and wrings it out before shutting the water off.

Ghoul's shoulders rise and fall in short, panicky breaths. "I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry. I'm- I didn't think, it was stupid, I'm sorry," he continues babbling like that before going silent again aside from the sharp sounds of his breathing.

In a testament to Kobra's selfishness, his biggest worry is that Ghoul took his motorbike out for a spin and crashed it. He can't think of what could have caused something like this. He has visions of his bike sliding out on a turn, crumbled metal and Ghoul's body flying through the air. But if that had happened he'd be hurt other than this. If that had happened he might be dead.

"Yo," he says quietly. "Chill. Just tell me what happened." He presses the now-damp rag to Ghoul's face, trying to ignore just how grotesque the wound really is. Maybe because it's fresh, maybe because of the fear, but somehow it's worse than the space where Jet's other eye used to be. Kobra never wanted to see an injury of that level on another person again in his life, let alone someone he cares about.

Ghoul flinches away, but Kobra shoots him a look and it must process somehow, because he stills and lets Kobra clean the already drying blood away from the edges of the wound with barely a whine. "It was stupid," he repeats, his voice shaking as much as it's slurring. "I don't know why I did it, Kid."

Something about the way he says that, voice small and wavering, sends a chill down Kobra's throat. Sudden understanding dawns on him. The blood on Ghoul's hands. He's not injured anywhere else. "You did that to yourself?" Kobra asks hoarsely.

Ghoul's eyes snap onto his and the rest of the color drains from his face. Kobra thinks he's going to pass out for a second, but he doesn't. He pulls as far away as he can, scrabbling awkwardly against the cold tiles and porcelain of the bathroom. "I don't know what I though, I was stupid, I don't- Kobra," he whines, with enough animalistic despair that Kobra wants suddenly to burst into tears, if he weren't so utterly stunned.

"Ghoul, calm down, I've gotta stitch it still," he says on autopilot. "Cool your engine, man."

Maybe it's the practicality of the thing that makes Ghoul momentarily stop panicking. "I'm sorry," he says again, tears welling in his eyes that he then blinks away half-frantically. Kobra's never heard him apologize for anything before tonight. He never wants to hear it again.

"It's okay, man. I've got you." He replies. If his own voice is shaking now, too, no the hell it isn't. "Come on, you have to let me..." he trails off, eyes wide. "Ghoul, why..." Then he shakes his head. He can't think about that now. He needs to disinfect the wound and stitch it up. And it's going to hurt Ghoul really, really badly.

He reaches behind him, grabs at the bottle of alcohol. This stuff is rare out in the Zones. They try to use it as little as possible. Only in emergencies. This is enough of an emergency, though. This is a fucking crisis.

He pours the bare minimum of the alcohol onto another piece of cloth, feels the cold soak in. Ghoul watches every move with jerking, stilted intensity. Kobra looks up at him from where he's now kneeling on the cold tile. He puts a hand behind Ghoul's head again. "This is going to hurt," he warns. They've nearly gouged each other's eyes out before, yet suddenly Kobra feels like he's going to be sick at the thought of causing Ghoul any more pain. Ghoul shuts his eyes in preparation.

Ghoul still nearly screams when Kobra dabs the alcohol over his wound. Kobra can see it in the way he holds his breath, the spring-tight tension in Ghoul's entire body. The only noise he makes is a quiet, drawn out whine, though. When a tear streaks down his cheekbone, Kobra catches it before a drop of salt can enter the wound.

"'Kay," he says in a ragged whisper. "That's done. Now I have to-" he gestures like he's sewing. Ghoul's eyes pop open to see what he's saying and he visibly forces himself to breathe again.

"'Kay," Ghoul says back in an equally torn up voice.

It only takes Kobra three tries to thread a needle. Medical supplies of any type are hard to come by, a whole new kind of commodity, but this stash has been here for as long as he can remember, just in case. Blaster burns, the most common injuries amongst 'Joys, come pre-cauterized. He's rarely had to sew sutures before.

Ghoul flinches back when the tip of the needle first touches the edge of his torn skin, and Kobra pauses. "Hold still," he grumbles, more out of familiar sniping than any real frustration at this point. He keeps his hand in Ghoul's hair the entire time he sews.

The feeling of a needle piercing flesh is horrible. The fact that it's his friend, someone he'd give his life for before seeing them hurt, is even worse. Kobra wants to fucking throatpunch whoever did this to Ghoul, or better, do the same thing to them, before he remembers with a sinking feeling in his stomach that Ghoul did this to himself.

He ties off the suture just barely keeping his hands from shaking. He doesn't know how Ghoul does this with bombs. Ghoul flinches again, violently, when Kobra cuts the excess line, and Kobra has to jerk back to keep from catching a flailing, uncoordinated fist in the face.

"Hey," he snaps. "Ghoul!"

Ghoul slips off the toilet lid and onto the floor almost as if he intended it but halfway as an accident and immediately curls in on himself. He pulls his knees to his chest and curls his arms around his head and Kobra can hear him hyperventilating. Kobra fucking freezes. He's used to fighting and wrestling and knee-jerk reactions that wind up with someone sporting a black eye. He is terrified right now. And there's still Ghoul's blood on his hands, too.

"Ghoul..." He cautiously reaches out, puts a hand on Ghoul's leg. Ghoul twitches, lets out a hiccupy sound that takes a moment to register in Kobra's mind as a sob. Ghoul, chaos loving, cackling Ghoul, is crying. And not just a single tear, now, his whole body is shuddering with the force of how hard he's crying. Kobra's heart is pounding with how hard he does not know what's happening, but he grips Ghoul's arm and lightly shakes him. "Hey, I'm still here, man."

Ghoul makes that keening whine again and Kobra thinks at first that he's going to pull away at best, or throw a real punch at worst. They fight enough, for any and no reason at all, that he expects it now. That's their normal. This isn't.

Ghoul scrambles to his knees, his hands finding the front of Kobra's shirt. This restroom is small, they're already in close quarters. But maybe unintentionally, maybe just scrabbling for a little purchase on anything, Ghoul winds up grabbing onto Kobra. And Kobra has always had a hard time letting anything go.

Ghoul's forehead crashes into his shoulder and Kobra instinctively puts his hands up, grabs back onto Ghoul in return. Ghoul's usual shaking is familiar to him, but the repressed wracking sobs aren't. Kobra clutches desperately around Ghoul's back, like he could hold together what he's just sewn up, like if he keeps Ghoul close enough he can't shake into pieces. No one should be able to break Ghoul. Not even Ghoul himself.

The edges of the cabinet dig into Kobra's back, but he ignores it. Ghoul is folding in on himself, making himself as small as he can against Kobra, and Kobra doesn't fucking know what to do. He's never seen Ghoul cry like this. He's never seen anyone cry like this.

"It hurts," cries Ghoul suddenly.

"I know," Kobra says, before he realizes that crying like this is probably making everything worse, that he'd worried about salt in the wound a minute before for this exact reason. He can't imagine the pain Ghoul is probably in.

"It didn't hurt at first," Ghoul mumbles, then chokes on a sob. "It didn't hurt when I started. And then it did."

Kobra wants to ask again, why? But he won't get anything intelligible. There's a part of him that doesn't want to know. He's terrified of knowing the truth. Instead, he threads his fingers through Ghoul's hair again and just repeats, "I know. I know."

A few minutes pass in speedy, spiraling silence. The only sound between them is their shared too-fast breathing.

"I can't," stammers Ghoul finally, after his cries have tapered out into raspy gasps. "I can't turn it on or off."

"Huh?" Is all Kobra can think to say. "Ghoul, you're not making sense, nothing about this makes sense," he snips, too quick and too tense. He's so beyond his depth. He wants Jet or Party to come help but he can't have it his way because he promised. He promised Ghoul. He wants to hit something. A wall, just to feel the impact. To imagine he's hitting whatever it is that hurt his friend so badly he hurt himself.

Ghoul sniffs. All Kobra can see of him is the top of his head and the cheek with the stitches. The wound is swollen and red and is going to leave a horrific scar. Kobra clenches his fist tighter behind Ghoul's back. "When I'm having fun or not," Ghoul says. "I can't. I am or I'm not. But."

"But what?" For fuck's sake, Kobra just wants to understand. He can read Ghoul like a book from cover to cover most times, and it scares him that he's so lost right now.

"It isn't good enough," he mumbles. "It's... It's in my fuckin' name, Kid, if I can't live up to that what am I?"

Kobra stares, wide-eyed, at the wall across from him. Something clicks. The clean cut through Ghoul's face, clearly from a recently sharpened knife, clearly intentional, reached from the corner of his lips almost to his ear. "Oh fuck no," he whispers. "Hell no. What the fuck. You're not-" He feels himself shaking suddenly, with restrained searing hot anger. Ghoul cut his head open, mutilated himself, to make himself permanently grin. "You're not fucking beholden to your fucking name," Kobra says. He never swears this much, only in his own mind. He's running out of words. "Fuck," he says, with feeling.

Ghoul shudders again. "I'm fuckin insane, aren't I?" He asks with sudden clarity.

It's exactly what Kobra had been thinking, for once completely unable to figure out Ghoul's mind, but he can't just say that. He can't just say that he's terrified because nothing makes sense and he's never going to freaking leave Ghoul alone again because this is all completely unhinged on so many levels that he can't even begin to sort through it. He can't say anything. He hopes Ghoul is sane enough to understand that, at least.

He just holds his friend tighter. He wants his brother more than anything right now, wants Party to come and take this weight out of his hands, but a part of him knows that even if he did, he wouldn't be able to let go of Ghoul. Why didn't Ghoul want anyone else but him? Why, after pretty much imprinting on Party like a feral kitten when they'd first met, to the point that sometimes Kobra thinks bitterly than Ghoul might know Party better than his own brother does, did he come to him? Why did he do any of this?

If a few tears of his own drip down Kobra's nose and land in Ghoul's tangled hair, no the hell they don't. He's never seen anyone go to pieces like this and he's struck dumb at the fact that it's literal. Very, very literally, Ghoul has gone to pieces. Taken a knife, that's probably still lying on the floor of his abandoned-office bedroom, and cut a line through his own cheek just so others might see a smile there.

There's crazy in his veins. Acid, maybe. And Kobra's always known that even if Party recognized it first. Watching your whole family die, failing to save your baby sibling, doesn't leave a person without any scars. Only, now, the scar is far too visible. Kobra's always known that Ghoul is more wild than any of them. Feral, unpredictable. He was raised by a pair of Killjoys who named themselves Hoot and Holler, and the thing is, a ghoul is just a ghost, and ghosts wail too. He should have known.

"I should've known," he says out loud, the first words in a while. He knows Ghoul so well. Better than he knows himself. He should have known something was wrong. He should never have left him alone. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He can't even blink. He stares hard at the opposite wall and tries not to scream.

Ghoul shakes his head against Kobra's shoulder and winces. "Nuh-uh," he mumbles. "I'm crazy, man. I'm insane." The fuzzy way it sounds around the stitches and the swelling just seems like proof. Just last night Ghoul's cheek was smooth and soft as he grinned across a table in triumph after winning a card game. How is it that that was just a few hours ago? He shudders again. "I'm scared," he says more quietly.

"Me too," Kobra says. As soon as the sun comes up he thinks he's going to storm out into the desert and find something, anything to beat up. Even a freakin cactus would do at this point. He doesn't know how he's going to explain this to Pois or Jet but he knows that much. He's gonna shake so hard he blows up, like a can of soda, unless he hits something. "I fucking hate you," he snaps suddenly.

Ghoul starts to flinch away, but Kobra doesn't let him. In fact, he curls tighter around him without even knowing why. "What the hell," Ghoul rasps.

Kobra hisses through his teeth. Speaking of living up to names. He fucking hates anyone who hurts his friends. But he can't say it. Hard as he tries, in the one moment of clarity about his own mind that he has, he can't speak.

"I fucking hate me, too," Ghoul says finally. The single dusty lightbulb above them flickers. If it goes out, they'll be in total darkness. Kobra thinks one or both of them might have a wicked eyeshine by now. The desert makes you wild. For some people, they're born that way.

"I think you're my best friend," Kobra finally manages to whisper. It isn't exactly what he was going for. It's not something he would ever say if he had thought of it before it popped out of his mouth. But Ghoul gets the point. Of course he does. Ghoul always gets his sharp edges, snakebite teeth and misspoken definitions and all.

"I think you're mine," Ghoul says back. "I'm-"

Kobra smacks the back of his head, like this is in any way normal, like they aren't collapsed on a dim bathroom floor in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning and like one of them isn't mutilated for life by his own hand. Like this isn't the worst thing they've ever gone through together. "If you say you're sorry again, I'll cut you myself."

It's rough, and it's torn up and pained and choked, but Ghoul laughs. Just a short bark of laughter, hardly like the dry, rasping cackle that Kobra knows so well. It sounds like agony but it also sounds like the sun coming up. Kobra makes a noise in the back of his throat, more whine than laugh, but he's so close to blowing up that it's as good as it gets. He wants to freaking die if that would keep Ghoul in one piece.

Ghoul shifts in Kobra's arms and pulls away just far enough to look him in the eye. He clumsily wipes at the tears and snot all over his face and Kobra has to snap a hand out to catch his wrist before he unthinkingly swipes at the fresh wound and stitches. "Kobra," Ghoul says, shivering in the dark. The sun won't take long to come up once it starts but until it does, the Zones are freezing. "Kobra."

"Yeah, man, I'm still right here." Kobra forces himself to look Ghoul in the eyes and not the stitches. The wound takes up so much of his face. It's all Kobra can see when he looks at Ghoul, his best friend's mutilated mouth, sliced open by his own hand. Kobra flinches just imagining it. He focuses instead on Ghoul's green eyes, boring holes into his head with the desperate pleading in them. "I'm still right here," Kobra repeats, quieter. Reminding himself, too.

Ghoul doesn't blink. Kobra doesn't blink. Their eyes reflect the dim light back at each other. This is what wild animals must feel for each other. Terror. Uncertainty. Just themselves, each other, and whatever comes. Ghoul licks his lips, tongue flicking briefly, visibly, to the corner of his mouth that he cut open. "Don't let me-" Ghoul starts and then falters. "You gotta make sure," he says. "Don't let me- do stupid shit like this, don't let me go crazy again, Kobra, please."

Kobra stares back at him, matching Ghoul's trembling desperation. He's known Ghoul since the day their crew found him, shell shocked between the shelves of an empty gas station with the bodies of his parents and previous crew around him. Perpetually shaking hands and feral bared teeth, animal eyeshine. No one can match Ghoul for determination, and no one knows Kobra as well as he does. Even if Ghoul does know his brother better than him, the same is true in reverse.

Kobra Kid has a hard fucking time ever letting go of anything once he's got it. Fun Ghoul holds on too loosely. They're both terrified. What a pair they make. But when Kobra Kid makes a promise, he means it. He grabs the ends of Ghoul's hair and pulls, not too hard, but hard enough. That's their normal. Play fighting and hair pulling, and they both know it's a kind of language for when they can't speak. "Okay," he says, and because it's a promise, he repeats it. "Okay."

#uhhhh anyway. come to killjoys world with me #I keep calling these two my mongoose and snake #they take out their worst on each other but at the same time it's like they were *made* for each other #also a few notes in the tags: kobra repeats himself a lot. that's intentional. it's because I do it irl #quite honestly at this point I might almost have a stutter??#anyway also there's a TON of super vague song references in here. I almost called this ''a scar away from falling apart''#but I couldn't stop thinking about that one boygenius song while I wrote this. would you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?#also the two(2) minor refs to famous last words!!!!#and very very loosely the ''what a pair they make'' line is bc what a catch donnie came up on my playlist right then #also this is WAY more swearing than I would usually write but... it just felt right? like it helped the flow?? and fit the characters? idk #ANYWHOMST. random danger days precanon fic. the girl isn't here yet.#she speaks!#HMMM do I need a writing tag for this blog?#she writes!#danger days #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #kobra kid #fun ghoul #K I think I've got it covered #wait trigger tags #self-harm tw #self mutilation tw

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byanyan · 11 months

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the want to reply to everything all at once so much that you overwhelm urself trying to figure out what to reply to first... so u get tired and frustrated and give up before u can do much at all. that's it, that's what i've been dealing with, i finally figured it out

#v frustrating bc i've replied to almost everything in my drafts in my head #but writing it out??? hmmm that takes a lot more work and mental illness don't like that #....once again i realize i still need to get better about replying to what i want in whatever order i want #aksfjhsdsd just thinking to myself as i frustrate myself staring at my drafts #WANTED TO DO MORE TONIGHT but w/e i'm exhausted & indecisive & don't know what i want so #gonna just leave it idfk #it's a hobby it's my blog i shouldn't make myself feel like i need to do stuff when i don't have energy just bc i'm an oc blog & people #will lose interest if i'm slow #the people who matter stick around regardless so who cares!!!!!#ugh. unintentional vent ig. just losing patience with my own brain lmao...#depression's a bitch no surprises there :/#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.#tbd.#negative cw #is this negative?? idk but idk what else to tag so w/e

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maleyanderecafe · 4 months

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Your favorite yandere visual novels? PS:can you reccomend some for me?

Hmmm, good question. I think most of the yandere visual novels I like tend to be ones that are less well known since I've played so many (as a person who has to feed my blog), I tend to like more unique yandere games instead of those which are more popular. And also anything that has a sub yandere (personality or otherwise) tends to have my heart as well. That being said, there are some more popular yanderes on here too just because I do like some of those ones as well.

Cemetery Mary - I'm procrastinating on doing a recommendation on this one because I want to also play Blackout Hospital since it goes a bit more into the yandere, but I really like how this story is and how is shows the reveal of the yandere. Mary is also very cute and a very interesting and fun main character.

The Snake's Taken a Spouse - this one is r18 and plays more like Degrees of Lewdity, and the artwork isn't that good, but Shimil is... charming. I like him and I feel bad for everything that he has to go through. It's cool seeing how he tries his best for you.

Sweetest Valentine/Where Two Flowers Meet - I'm lumping these two together mostly because I just like the way that Syllphan writes stories. They both are very different from each other but have pretty interesting takes on yanderes. I need to double check if For Amerta has one, but even if it doesn't I'll probably still love the game.

Karamu - Karamu... is just really well done. I really like stylized games and Karamu does it wonderfully with it's blue color scheme and comic book like aesthetic. Plus we get to slowly unveil the mystery the main character has gotten herself into.

Stuck in a Yandere Visual Novel.... Help!! - from what I played in the first demo, I really like the comedy in this one. It knows the yandere trope pretty well so I like how they play around with it. Everything is kind of in a cutesy pink aesthetic, which is also a fun thing. I really need to get around to finishing the game.

ITYH: Horror Otome/Saccharine - Saccharine is less of a visual novel, but like with Syllhan, I really like Amiralo's writing style. Most of their stories are bittersweet with not so happy endings in a lot of them, and very interesting yanderes overall.

Mushroom Oasis - I'm pretty guilty of trying to get a bunch of people to play the game but listen, Mycheal is very cute and I really like his design. The creator is still working on it and it has become one of the most popular yandere games under the yandere tag on itch.io, so that's probably a good sign right?

Froot Basket Valentine / Froot Basket Dark Chocolate - Dark Chocolate is a prequel to Valentine, but they are both fun to play through. Valentine is a bit more goofy since you see everyone's heads as fruits for the most part while Dark Chocolate is far darker. But it is cool seeing how the yandere progresses in each of these stories.

Heart Fragment - very well made game, though Kay is kind of a light but clingy yandere. And boy do I love my clingy yanderes. Still this is probably one of those games that we play more for the story rather than the yandere. Still would totally recommend it because it is very, VERY well made.

The Science of Staying Awake - big fan of the concept of someone- Something that so desperately wants to hold you but also drives you insane if you do? That's very cool and the horror on that is really creepy if you think about it and also a bit sad.

Kimbark Street - I like seeing the point of view of yanderes, or just any character that is on the more evil side. You can really see how their obsession drives them and what they will do to get what they want, whether the person they love knows it or not.

You can probably see I don't have as many dark yandere games on this list, which is mostly because while I do enjoy darker yandere content (in terms of murder sims and whatnot) I also am not the target audience for them since I love to torture my yanderes, not be tortured by them. Still, I can admit that they are fun to play through. I have a lot more that I like, but here is hopefully a good list of games that you too might enjoy.

#asks #yandere #male yandere #yandere boy #recommendations

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jaynovz · 3 months

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Expanded Info for Black Sails Kink Meme 2024

Hi there!

Since there has been a sufficient amount of interest for this idea, let me explain a little further how I think this will work and general guidelines–

I’m encouraging as informal and low stress/pressure of an atmosphere as possible here. Back in The Day when LiveJournal Kink Memes were common, it was very typical to see a prompt put up and filled within an hour. It doesn’t have to be polished, it doesn’t have to make logistical sense, it just has to fill the prompt as best as you can, sexily! It’s supposed to be fun. A bunch of fun, raunchy kink and smut to roll around in as a fandom. 🥳 🥳

So yeah, first thing to expect, it’s basically ALL PWP (porn without plot). Not to say that someone can’t write a full plot epic if they like, do whatever you like, but in my experience, a 4am fugue state smut fill written in a sweaty haze is kind of, the spirit of the thing. We’re creating ficlets, snapshots, tasty treats of smut with as little pressure to make it in any way polished as possible. Please think of this as, hmmm, a little fun writing exercise you do before you go back to your Big Serious Work, if that helps. We are letting loose, we are having fun, we are being deliciously, joyously, unrepentantly filthy with it! The tagline for the event is: “Get High, Jerk Off Three Times, and Write Me a Warmup :DD”

A prompt might say, for example– “MaxAnne, s2, would love to see the girls get slippery wet with some period sex, bonus if one or both eats the other out while she’s menstruating.”

Pretty standard stuff, nothing that off the wall from my perspective, however, some folks might feel shy about asking for it for whatever reasons and so the anonymous format frees ppl up to ask for anything from: “Midshipman James McGraw getting caned in pre-canon by his superiors” to, idk, “full tentacle-y type oviposition porn where someone is being forced to come over and over again while being implanted with eggs by some giant plant beast on Skeleton Island (probably Silver).”

Literally ask for whatever smut you want~~ This is your chance, toss it into the pot! It will be tagged accordingly when posted if it’s filled, so live your truth, chase your bliss, know no shame, no one can see you~~

It is helpful when submitting a prompt to give details that are important to you, and the prompt filler will do their best with it. <3 So, I suggest giving a ship specification up front, maybe a vague timeline (season 1, season 2, etc), and then the kinks you want to see with a short description. Sort of like the MaxAnne period sex I gave an example of above.

Logistics and Structure of Submissions–

I have created a sideblog called @blacksailskmeme through which, once submissions are live (it will be open to accept prompts hopefully in March 2024), you may submit ANON ASK PROMPTS. I will publish them with a number and a link to the collection. If you like one of the prompts, simply post it through the collection with its corresponding number and then that AO3 link to your fill will be reblogged underneath the original ask prompt.

Simple as that!

Follow the Event Blog, or the tag #2024BSKMemeFills in order to keep tabs on when prompts are filled.

This makes it very easy for me and yall both, as there is no claiming process to trouble ourselves with. As many fills as are written are allowed for each prompt, simply write whatever speaks to you and I’ll be able to track the fills by the notifs on the collection. :DD

As of now, I’m planning to open prompts in March 2024 and keep the collection and blog running for prompts and fills both up through the end of Summer 2024. To respect the spirit of the event, all fills and prompts MUST be anonymous. Edit for clarification: The entire collection is marked Anonymous, which means any work submitted to it will be posted Anon. There is no option you need to worry about checking to guarantee this. I apologize for the initial confusing language, I have been learning as I go.

It still stands that if, after the event is closed, you want to then de-anon your work, that is your prerogative. However, it will mean you must remove the work from the collection, as the collection itself will forever and always remain anonymous.

Rules–

–This is an 18 plus event, please, as all of the content will be Explicit.

–It is also a Black Sails Only Event, please no crossover prompts or fills. However, AU of all types are encouraged with our favorite pirates.

–All ships, all kinks, are welcome for submission, and the fill will then be tagged appropriately. If you have any questions on how to tag something, or just want another pair of eyes to confirm, you can always DM me <3

–Fills must be 500 words minimum of fic. There is no maximum and the fill is allowed to be WIP if you intend to write more chapters later. I would encourage that the content of the prompt be IN the first chapter at least before submission to the collection.

–We’re Gonna Be Nice and Civil!! No ship bashing, no kink shaming, we’re all mature adults here. If you don’t like something, then don’t fill it, don’t reblog it, don’t read it, pretend you do not see it. If you don’t like it, it’s not for you!

If I haven’t covered everything here, or if you’re unsure about something, feel free to reach out to me either through the event blog or through @jaynovz <3 Also, if you’d like to help me out with the event, hit me up as well.

Thank you!

#black sails #black sails event #black sails fanfiction #2024bskmeme #would love if yall would reblog this to signal boost thank you

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blacksailskmeme · 2 months

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Hi there piratefam!

Happy Black Sails Netflix day! 🥳 🏴‍☠️🥳

A quick reminder that we have a little Black Sails Kink Meme running right now (live up til the end of Summer 2024!) The link above is to the event collection of fills and below I'm posting some more info about how to participate if you haven't yet heard about it! :D <3

Premise--

Rules--

–This is an 18 plus event, please, as all of the content will be Explicit.

–It is also a Black Sails Only Event, please no crossover prompts or fills. However, AU of all types are encouraged with our favorite pirates.

Logistics--

For prompts-- you may submit ANON ASK PROMPTS to this blog. I will publish them with a number and a link to the collection. If you like one of the prompts, simply post it through the collection with its corresponding number and then that AO3 link to your fill will be reblogged underneath the original ask prompt. It is helpful when submitting a prompt to give details that are important to you, and the prompt filler will do their best with it. <3 So, I suggest giving a ship specification up front, maybe a vague timeline (season 1, season 2, etc), and then the kinks you want to see with a short description.

For fills-- There is NO CLAIMING PROCESS NECESSARY! If you see a prompt that strikes your fancy, you are IMMEDIATLEY encouraged and free to fill it, there is NO LIMIT ON FILLS for each prompt!

Both prompt submissions and fills will be open simultaneously through the entire span of the event.

The entire collection is marked Anonymous, which means any work submitted to it will be posted Anon. There is no option you need to worry about checking to guarantee this.

After the event is closed, if you want to then de-anon your work, that is your prerogative. However, it will mean you must remove the work from the collection, as the collection itself will forever and always remain anonymous.

As more prompts come in, I will continue to assign them numbers and post them using the tag #2024BSKMemePrompts. As they come in, fills will be reblogged under their prompt using the tag #2024BSKMemeFills.

(PS: If you submit your fill and do not see it immediately, please remember it’s just me handling the organization and I might be asleep. But rest assured just as SOON as I get the notification on the collection I will publish it on Tumblr.)

Information regarding posting to AO3 collections can be found here. The expanded guidelines and rules for fills can be found here.

If you are unsure of something, tags, anything at all, or if you have questions I haven't covered here: please do not hesitate to reach out to me either through the event blog or my main @jaynovz. I will respond to questions as soon as I’m able :DD

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE, HAVE FUN IN THE SPLASH ZONE OF SMUT AND KINK~~ 🎉🎉

#2024bskmeme #announcements #about #black sails #black sails event #long post #there are over 100 excellent prompts already and 12 delicious fills #hop in :D

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ashsostrange · 7 months

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"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

#ash spills 💋#the downfall of her munches #fucked around and found out!#miles morales x reader #e42miles morales x reader #beware of the munch #breeisoverparty

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letstalkwhump · 1 year

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Let's Talk Whump

Let's Talk Whump is a series of interviews with the wonderful members of the whump community. I'm Malice and I'll be your host. Joining us today is the one and only @oddsconvert !

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump! Do you mind sharing a little about yourself?

Hi there, I’m Shannon! I’m a 21 year old psychology and criminology graduate from the UK! My favourite colour is yellow. I basically have a zoo of pets bahaha; I have four cats, a dog, a rabbit, two rats, three fish and two tarantulas (not mine - they terrify the life out of me!)

When I’m not whumping and traumatising my fictional babies, I love to crochet, listening to/playing music (I play piano, guitar, clarinet and ukulele), and I’m currently teaching myself to draw…for whump purposes ;)

What does whump mean to you?

For me, whump is freedom and release. Not only is it enjoyable, almost like scratching an itch? But it’s cathartic, and what I now see as a healthy coping mechanism for managing difficult feelings and a way to navigate my own trauma. Although, looking back, whump has been something that’s always been an interest of mine since early childhood, and has stuck ever since! Like rewinding disney films when the princes get tied up ahahah.

And also the comfort element of whump, I think it also helps me explore wants and desires in my own life. Writing my caretakers and their fierce protectiveness, and unconditional care over whumpees feels like it heals a part of me that maybe needed that at times. It gives you such a heartwarming feeling when you see these characters go through hell and back, and have someone to fall on at the end who will be there through thick and thin, regardless how choppy the water gets.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join?

I used to scour pinterest for writing prompts! I only ever wrote in private, I’ve never EVER shared my work publicly before and never dreamed I would. But the more and more whumpy pins I was saving I was like “hmmm. These all come from the same site! Let’s go check that out” and then I scrolled the #whump tag for endless hours instead of doing my university dissertation. I remember coming across @deluxewhump and @darkthingshappen first!

At first I joined as a faceless, lurking blog. I really wanted to hop in and join all the creators I was loving so far but I was terrified. I think I had a bio as something like “working up the courage to post.” And then some lovely anon sent me my first ask saying they’d love to see what I’d post! And I slowly crept out of my shell and bit by bit started building my profile and adding my name and posting my whump drabbles!

Pinterest whump prompts gang rise up! That’s exactly how I found the community too! Has your view on whump changed since you joined?

I used to be ashamed of liking whump. Like it was some dirty little secret that made me a terrible person and I should keep it to myself. Hide it at all costs. Since joining, and interacting with this world-wide community of whump enjoyers, I realised it’s not something that should be taboo. If anything, it almost feels normal! Look how many thousands love it! And every single whump creator I’ve had the pleasure of meeting has been so kind, supportive and such genuine people!

It really feels like coming home when you find the whump community and realise you’re not a weirdo! Would you like to share your favourite whump tropes?

I’ve definitely discovered more about my whump taste! I used to just purely like captivity whump, usually with creepy/intimate whumpers. That was always my go to. Now? I’ve discovered SO many tropes I never even knew about and love! BBU?! Pet whump, whumper turned whumpee, bad caretaker, vampire whump, sickfics, hero/villain and so much more!

Non-optional, you have to share a favourite piece you've written? Hype yourself up, we want to hear it!

Without a doubt, my first ever chapter of ‘Shattered’ - my bloodbag whumpee/vampire whump series. I’m usually very self-critical of my writing, but I really love how this one came out and how well it was written. I pretty much never get whumperflies off my own writing, but my poor sweet Declan - just living dead and the way Vince is forced to take care of him.

But also honorary mention - my latest chapter of ‘Play Pretend’ . Play Pretend is my baby, and it was the first chapter of this series I had beta’d by my wonderful friend @whumpcereal and I felt like she just took it to the next level and kicked it up a notch. Josh’s fear and exhaustion came to life and I really enjoyed writing his inner monologue!

You weren’t kidding about the whumperflies in “Shattered”! Hot damn! What's your writing schedule usually look like?

Night time for sure! Dead of night - 3am most often ahaha. I’m a night owl, through and through. I’ll try and write in the day and nothing comes and then night comes and I’m like brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, whole chapter done! I usually have some music on in the background, sometimes I make a specific playlist for whatever vibe I’m feeling! And I mostly write when the inspiration strikes, as much as I can get out until the motivation vanishes.

And do you find that the words flow better for somethings than others?

For me, I find it really easy to write my creepy/intimate whumper scenes. For Play Pretend, writing Felix’s deranged and creepy obsession with Josh just comes so naturally (maybe I should be concerned…). The way he’s so unsettling but so adoring with how he speaks to Josh and touches him, I could write it in a heartbeat.

More recently I’ve been trying to delve into the nsfw portions of whump and writing. But I’m a newbie with it, and I really struggle with writing it or making it sound good.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment?

My usual schedule swings around, I update my series in an order. It tends to be, A Taste of Your Own Medicine, Shattered, then Play Pretend - and I’ve just updated ATOYOM so Shattered is up next! I’m primarily working on a flashback chapter with August currently! But I dot in and out of future chapters too.

I also have planned future whump series to come whenever my current ones finish up! But that’s a little while off yet.

Give us some writing advice. Bless us with your wisdom, oh awesome one!!!!!

I WILL SCREAM THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS - WRITE FOR YOU!

Never ever write based on what you think people like/don’t like. The absolute joy in writing is the freedom in putting the pen to paper, or cursor to doc , and just letting your imagination run wild. Your audience is out there. People that will love and cheer for your writing, and I think you can really tell when an author has enjoyed and had fun with what they’ve written. There’s no good in getting bogged down with what others think.

Write for you, post for you, and if others hop along for the ride - all the better!

Is there anyone you’d like to give a shout-out to?

I love absolutely everyone in this community, I’m gonna tag so many people - my besties alongside some of my favourite blogs and creators. Ily all you talented people.

@whumpcereal @darkthingshappen @sparrowsage @quietly-by-myself @whumpsday @for-the-love-of-angst @emmettnet @turn-the-tables-on-them @yetanotheraltwhumpblog @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @pigeonwhumps @whumpshaped @t0rture-me @ha-ha-one @not-a-space-alien @whump-queen @justsomewhumpee @livelaughwhump @writereleaserepeat and I’M PROBABLY MISSING SOME BUT YOU’RE ALL AWESOME

Finally, anything you'd like to add?

The whump community has quickly started to feel like home to me, I have a lotta love for whumpblr and every soul I’ve met here! Thank you so much for having me and to whoever nominated me!

It’s been a pleasure!

Happy whumping, people!

Thank you so much for joining us today, @oddsconvert! And to all you awesome folk at home, have a whump-derful day!

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cupoftaae · 1 year

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Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ •liar liar• chapter 2

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

Rating: 18+

Word count: a little under 5k

Chapter warnings: smut!!! Confusing emotions, so much angst omg. Tae is kinda an idiot. You’re confused. It’s a mess. Also not a warning but we see chaeyoung and dahyun!!

Read part one https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cupoftaae/705377053503094784

A/N

Ok so ...wow!! I didn’t expect so many people to enjoy this story. I kinda threw it together but I’m beginning to really fall in love with writing it. Thank you all so much for reading, liking and reblogging. It seriously means so much to me. •••Tag list is open so if you wish to be tagged with each new chapter please feel free to lmk. •• happy reading!!!

—————

Taehyung and you had continued to watch movies throughout the evening, eventually moving back into your room to lay down, because you were complaining of back pain from leaning against the couch.

“Go refill this” You laughed and shoved the popcorn bowl into taehyungs chest. “God you are so aggressive, remind me why I decided to be your roommate?” He spoke louder as his footsteps led him into the kitchen. “Because I’m adorable, now shut up and be quick, I’m gonna pick my own choice of movie” you spoke, throwing the blankets over you and turning the lights off.

When taehyung had entered the room again he stood at the doorway and peered over at you, you looked so cute under a mountain of blankets, bangs hanging messily over your forehead as you appeared to be extremely invested in whatever was on tv. “What?” You spoke, looking at him as he walked over, he laughed and shook his head. “Why are we sitting in pitch black? Did we forget to pay the electric bill?” Taehyung sneered as you pulled him into the bed. “Aww are you scared of the dark tae?” He scoffed and sat down, pulling his body under the covers as well. “Don’t worry I’ll protect you” you joked and wrapped your body against his, leaning into his side. His breath hitched, silently cursing himself for feeling so awkward around you. He felt like he was the one making it weird.

A few minutes had past when he felt your eyes staring at him. “Are you not paying attention?” He asked, without looking down at you. “Oh, I’m paying attention....” you mumbled, finger picked up to drag along his jaw and across his nose, an action that you always did with him, but haven’t done for a while....for, well, obvious reasons. “Y/n” he spoke sternly, shifting uncomfortably, he couldn’t be the only one seeing the wrongness in this. He was laying in bed with someone else’s girlfriend, a girl he was IN LOVE WITH. You sighed deeply, hot air brushing against his neck as you pushed yourself up to his ear. “this movie is boring...let’s do something” You nearly whispered, tae wanted to punch himself for how fast he got hard. This was definitely wrong, no denying it. “Y/n...” he turned his head to you, and that’s when your lips met his. Taehyung would be lying to say he pushed away, how could he? You were the one in a relationship, technically he was doing nothing wrong!

“Hmmm missed you” you moaned into his mouth before pulling the covers back and moving to straddle his thigh. Taehyungs hands moved from your waist to your ass, pressing it against him harder as he buried his face into your neck. “This is wrong”

He mumbled, a slight bite to your earlobe. “Then why are you hard, you lair” you teased, taking his hands off your waist to pull back, pulling your shift off your body and tossing it to the side. Taehyung was sitting against the headboard, practically sweating as he watched you. When did you start buying lingerie bras? When the two of you hooked up, you always wore a sports bra of some sort. Something about just wearing lingerie turned him on even more for some reason, maybe because it was red. Somewhere in the back of his mind he believed you wore it tonight for him. “You’re so pretty, baby” he spoke quietly, watching as you carefully picked up his hands and pressed them against your chest, biting your lip as you watched his reaction. “Y/n, I....we shouldn’t be doing this” he stuttered, seconds away from giving into temptation. “baby please, touch me, please baby” you practically moaned as you leaned against him further, legs digging into the mattress on either side of his thigh. “I don’t care I don’t” you shook your head, trying to convince him you wanted this. “It’s ok” you affirmed, watching the cogs turn in his head.

Without saying anything, taehyung leaned forward to kiss you once more, this time rather harshly. His hands gripped your breasts before sliding their way around to find the clasp. He quickly undid it before throwing it somewhere off the bed, he can Thank the experience he’s had with you for that trick.

You moaned loudly as he pressed his mouth against your breast, swirling his tongue around slowly as he stimulated your nipple. “Tae...” you pushed your hands against him, practically melting into his touch. His other hand lifted back to the other breast, running his finger over the delicate center as you hummed contently. You were becoming needier by the minute, rocking your hips slowly against his leg, throwing your head back slightly.

“Shit baby, ride my thigh” taehyung grunted and ran his hands to unbutton your jeans, moving you up as he slid them off. You watched his fingers cling onto the sides of your underwear, taking them off with a swift motion.

“You’re so fucking wet” he mumbled, running two fingers over your folds, moving up to press against your clit. “Ah!” You leaned forward, hands gripping his shoulders. He pulled his hand away to position you over his thigh, pulling you down once you moved closer. “Mmmmm” you moaned, beginning to rock carefully against him. “Feels good baby” you sighed, feeling his mouth begin to attack yours, tongues practically down each others throats. His deep grunts were enough to leave your body vibrating. “Ta-ah! Fuck!” You dug your nails into his shoulder when he pushed his thigh up, helping you move more swiftly. “Is that good, angel?” He asked so teasingly. “God, you’re nasty” his fingers pushed into your thighs. “I should’ve fucked you first but” he began, “this, this is more enjoyable”

“Shit, I’m gonna cum” You whined, picking the pace up as your grind your bare cunt against his thigh. “Fuck! fuck, Ah-“ you moaned loudly into the air as your orgasm crashed over you, face falling into his shoulder as you pressed up to him, pathetic whines filling into his ear, “taehyung” You whimpered

Taehyungs eyes shot open when he realized what had happened. Suddenly he was awake, sitting behind you on the couch, incredibly hard. Holy shit. He just had a wet dream...ABOUT YOU.

Quickly sitting up, he watched your expression. Ok, you were still asleep. He made his way to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, god he was an awful person. This is his best friend, this was you, and he just dreamt of getting you off with his thigh when you have your boyfriend coming to visit in less than 12 hours.

This shit was getting worse by the minute, perhaps in times like these he wishes the two of you never started hooking up in the first place.

—

“Why’d you leave last night?” You asked, watching taehyung walk into the kitchen. “Oh...i was getting sore laying on the couch, I’m too tall to sleep there” he mumbled as he watched you prepare kimchi for later.

You nodded in understanding as you turned around to reach for some pots and dishes. He watched as your stretched your back, shirt hugging your curves just right. He had to look away, how could he even be in your presence right now after what occurred just a few hours ago. He could only imagine how much of a pervert you’d think he is if you knew.

“Can you help me?” You asked, watching tae spring over to help grab a few plates from the top shelf. “Thank you” You mutter, continuing your cooking. “Oh by the way your parents called me”

Tae turned around to see you, “what?” He seemed confused. “They said they are coming to Seoul in 2 weeks and wanted to plan a dinner with us” you shrugged, turning to him. “I think that’s nice taehyung”

“It’s nice...but I don’t know” he plucked at the collar of his shirt. “y/n, Last time I spoke with them wasn’t very enjoyable for either of us I think”

About a year ago, taehyung got into a fight with his parents about dropping out of college, he works for a business Corp now, which he thoroughly enjoys because he can work in office or at home whenever he chooses. However his parents are disappointed in him not becoming a doctor like they had hoped, and they actually ended up blaming you for his lack of studious determination. You were in college to become a theatre actress, it was your major anyway. You knew that this is what you had wanted for a long time, but in the eyes of his parents, they saw it as useless. But you knew you’d rather make less money and be happy than he unhappy and make lots of money.

“It’s been a while though, and who knows? Maybe they want to apologize for being wrong!” You giggle as you watched him open the fridge.

Taehyung shrugged before looking at a pack of desserts, reaching his hand to look at the labels. “Don’t touch those” you whine, knowing how much of a snack thief he is. “They are for later” you pat his back as he pouts, making your heart soar. “When is he coming over?” He asks. “It’s not just him coming, I invited some other girls from my theatre class too, but they are coming at 1” you mumble, too focused on cooking.

Tae looked at the clock, it was 11:50, he only had a little over an hour to get ready. “Okay, let me know if you need help with anything” he spoke cheeringly as he left the kitchen, leaving you at the counter with Yeontan by your feet, attempting to catch droplets of food.

Taehyung showered and shaved, brushing gel through his hair after blow drying it. Now, he knows it’s weird to say he’s dressing to impress kaito, but that’s exactly what he’s doing, just not for the reason you’re thinking. He wants to basically show him up in typical taehyung fashion, perhaps make him jealous?

He rummaged through his closet before deciding on a blue Hawaiian shirt paired with black jeans.

Across the hall, you were panicking in the bathroom as you tried to straighten your hair but it only ended up looking flat and weird. “Stop being so....UGLY!” You whisper yell to yourself as you point to your reflection in the mirror. You ultimately decide to wet your hair so it can curl up again, opting for it to just be natural and messy. After throwing on makeup (you indeed did not just “throw on” makeup, you spent 20 minutes on eyeliner) you put on a white long sleeved shirt and put black overalls ontop, you looked cute you supposed, but you couldn’t help but wonder what you’d look like in taehyungs eyes. Was it wrong to want to be seen as prettier to him when your literal boyfriend was on his way over.

You walked out to the kitchen when you saw taehyung grabbing a beer out of the fridge, your mouth grew dry just seeing him. He looked like walking sex. You cleared your throat, “you look handsome” you Shyly mumble and make your way over, hugging him playfully. His eyes dart down to you, feeling his heartbeat quicken from just how stunning you looked, unaware of the difficulties you had getting ready, and you called him handsome, YOU!

“Oh, thank you y/n, you look beautiful.” He spoke, turning back to the counter, “kaito is a lucky guy huh” he spoke quietly. “I suppose so” you joked, brushing your bangs out of your face and looking at him. “You smell nice” he added, the perfume infiltrating his nose as an all too familiar scent, suddenly drawing him back to the dream he had last night as he awkwardly tried to step a few feet away from you.

“Thanks bubs” you smile, grabbing a water to cool your nerves down, at this point you couldn’t even pin point why you were nervous in the first place. “Are you ok?” You asked, eyes drawing to the fidgety boy in front of you. He shrugged and looked down, the guilt was eating him alive, “y/n, can we talk later?” He sighed.

You tilted your head, confused but willing. “Yeah? Are you ok th-“ you were interrupted by the doorbell, both you and your roommate sharing a frightful look.

You ran to open the door, adjusting your hair as taehyung stood behind you. “Hi!” You said sweetly as the door opened, your friends and boyfriend present with foods and drinks in their arms. “Hi baby” kaito spoke, walking in to press a quick kiss to your lips. Taehyung clenched his jaw and noticed how much taller he was compared to him. Not to be an asshole and make everything about masculinity, but he hated seeing his height. Kaitos eyes looked behind you to meet taehyungs, his body halting as taehyung just raised his eyebrows teasingly, a look that read “go on, say something”. You looked between both of them before speaking up, “kaito this is taehyung, my roommate and best friend, tae, this is kaito” you cheer, wrapping an arm around your boyfriend. “ I think we’ve met” kaito bit, “really?? When?” You peered up. “Oh somewhere at the coffee shop, I think” taehyung spoke, biting back a giggle as he walked away to meet your other friends.

“You look so good” You spoke, playing with kaitos hair as he kissed your forehead. “Thanks baby” he led with you into the kitchen.

He couldn’t even return the compliment to you? This only left you feeling insecure, checking your appearance in every reflection available.

“You have such a cute apartment you guys!” Your friend chaeyoung cheered, looking around at all the decorations. “I was gonna say, it’s perfect” dahyun added, moving to the wall of photos and smiling. “What are these?” She asked, you pulled away from kaito to walk over and look. “Oh this is from last summer when taehyung and I went on this Europe trip for his work, it was so fun and we even got to go to Paris for a night” you pointed at the picture of you and taehyung by the Eiffel Tower.

Taehyung stood in the kitchen, smiling to himself as he thought of how fun that trip was, it was just you two alone. Kaito looked and scrunched his face up, opening his beer before looking at taehyung. Would it be wrong for taehyung to say he found joy in how much your boyfriend seemed to despise him? Because he now had the urge to pull every string.

About an hour later, all of you had eaten, and now were sitting in the living room eating desserts and drinking wine, lost in random conversations. Taehyung impatiently tapped his foot against the other, waiting for you to come back out of your room you had fled to randomly 15 mins ago. “Where’s y/n?” Chaeyoung asked, frowning as she opened up the cinnamon bread, “she is gonna be back and hate me because this is gonna be gone” she pointed down at the dessert, earning a laugh from dahyun. “Just be patient” she pushed her, the two girls giggling as taehyung sat up and walked over to your door. Kaito watched him from the couch, scanning over him and paying attention to his actions.

Carefully, he knocked against your door, whispering into the frame. “Y/n, it’s me, can I come in?”

There was a moment of silence before you walked over and whispered, “yeah”. You stood back and watched the boy come in, him completely unaware your boyfriend was watching the whole thing as he shut the door behind him. Taehyung was taken back when he saw you “Why are you crying?” He asked softly, cupping your face and wiping your tears. You shrugged and sniffled, “it’s stupid” you sigh and look away. “Obviously not if it’s bothering you. You never cry” he pointed out. You bit the inside of your lip as you looked down at your feet next to his, he was right. You never cried, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to confide in him.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Your voice spoke shakily. Taehyung scanned over your face, unsure how to approach this. “I don’t feel pretty” you shrugged, tears welling up. He couldn’t help but smile a little, “see! It’s stupid! You are laughing at me” You whined before he grasped your hand. “I’m laughing because how could such a beautiful girl say that about herself?” He spoke meaningfully. Your eyes looked up at his so softly he could have melted into the floor at that moment. “Do you actually think I’m beautiful?” You whispered. “Absolutely” he nodded and brushed your hair back, squeezing your hand as you leaned forward to hug him tightly, making him rock a bit before catching his footing. He wrapped his long arms around you and rubbed your back, head resting on top of yours.

“Can I come in?” Suddenly the two of you broke apart at the sound of kaitos voice by the door. You wiped your tears and looked over. “Are you ok?” He asked, eyes darting to Taehyung. “I am, let’s go have dessert” you grab his hand and lead him out of your room. Taehyung stayed in there for a moment to catch his breath, mentally preparing himself to go back into the living room.

If taehyung hadn’t known any better, he would say dahyun was flirting with him. “Honestly your skin is so fucking smooth, how do you do your routine?? Or- wait! I bet your one of those guys who just naturally have nice ass skin even though they wash their face with like a fucking bar of soap or some shit!” She laughed, moving practically into his lap as she examined every pore on his face. He beamed over at you, across at the other couch and sent a very telling ‘help me NOW’ look, you simply giggled, knowing dahyun pretty much did this everytime she was within 5 feet of a male. She’s always been boy crazy, but you still kept an eye on her while she was conversing next to taehyung. You knew in the back of your mind that the reason taehyung skin is so nice is well, because of YOU. You lend him all your products and even have occasional skincare nights, though, he would never admit it to dahyun. “Genetics” he shrugs.

As the next hour went on, more drinks were ingested and you all sat on the floor around the living room table. “Baby, did you know chaeyoung’s roommate moved out?” Kaito turned to you, hopeful eyes as he rubbed your lower back. “Really??” You turned your head to your friend, “yeah, she had to go back home and she actually dropped out I think” chae nodded. “Aww” you respond, kaito grabbing your attention. “You should move in with her! Wouldn’t that be fun!” He pokes you with his elbow.

This conversation grabbed taehyungs attention, looking away from dahyun’s phone where she was showing him pictures from her own trip to Europe. “Wha- why, why would she need to move out?” He panicked slightly, feeling anger at his sudden attempt to pull you away from him. Kaitos eyebrows raised as he looked at the boy across from him. “Because they’re friends?” He stated. “Ok? Y/N and I are friends too? We have been since we were 12. I think we are content living together” he laughed at the end of his words. You looked at taehyung sympathetically, appreciating his effort of defense but also warning him to not pick a fight like he tends to do everywhere he goes. “Plus chaeyoung is welcome over here anytime if she wants to” tae nodded. “Yeah sure, you’re friends, but it’s different” kaito adds.

“How so?” Taehyung chucked, “please enlighten me!!” He sat up.

“Tae” you warned, his eyes ignoring yours. “I’m just saying, I think she would be more comfortable with a female roommate” kaito sipped his drink as chaeyoung and dahyun watched with awkwardness. “First of all, you can’t speak for her. Second of all...Why? You don’t trust me? It’s not like we have sex” he casually said, your face turning to a red fire as you pounded your fist onto the table. “Stop taehyung!” You were in shock of his behavior, what the fuck was up his ass. Kaito looked taken back as well, watching the boy in front of him seem to lose his mind. “Or maybe it’s some excuse so you can have her all to yourself, here’s a little tip buddy, if you wanna keep a girlfriend maybe you should stop trying to be a control freak, also compliment her once in a while, it’s nothing off your back, you self centered asshole”

You stood up at his words, embarrassed that he would mention the reason of your tears earlier. You couldn’t tell if you were more ashamed of taehyungs actions, or the fact taehyung himself saw how unperfect you and Kaito actually were compared to what you’ve been telling him. “Enough!!!” You spoke shakily, tears brimming your eyes as you walked off, turning around to speak. “I’m sorry to end tonight like this, but please go home.” You sadly spoke, pushing taehyung and kaito away when they both approached you. “Get away from me!! Both of you!!” You shout, tears falling down your cheek in embarrassment. “You” your finger pointed at taehyung. “You are so much better than this!” He looked down in shame, he hurt you and he didn’t even realize it, he was being selfish. “And you” you pointed to your boyfriend. “Why would you even bring that conversation up? I’m quite happy living here, you just started a whole issue!!” You wipe your tears in frustration and turn to your room, everyone looking around as chaeyoung awkwardly walks out, followed by an angry kaito.

Dahyun grabs her purse and walks up to taehyung, who had been hiding and pushing down his tears. “It’s ok” she whispered, rubbing his arm. “Dahyun please, I’m sure you are a nice gi-“

“You love her.” She simply interrupted.

“What??” He was taken back, watching the girl in front of him speak. “You love y/n. And that’s ok” she comforted. “Go apologize to her, she’ll....come around” a soft smile and weak hug left her grabbing her coat and heading out, taehyung standing in confusion once the door shut. His eyes darting to the locked bedroom door that you were in, contemplating his entrance.

You paced your room, skin red and hot as you wiped your makeup off with a single wipe. You changed out of your days outfit and put on a shirt, that happened to be taehyungs, and sweatpants. You climbed into bed, sniffling as you laid against your pillow. Your phone rang with notifications from kaito, some messages asking wtf just happened, and others asking when he can see you again, this time without the others. You scoffed and threw your phone across the room.

You looked up at the ceiling before turning to your side, grasping one of your pillows and spilling tears into it. Your fingers ran delicate patterns on the side of the pillow, you wanted to pretend it was taehyung you were holding, inhaling deeply and pressing your head against the top of it. You felt guilty. For two things, actually. One, for yelling at taehyung. You knew he was a hot head and started getting angry and defensive when he was uncomfortable, you couldn’t blame him, the tension in the room could be cut in 4’s. The other was, well, the fact you currently wished to be cuddling next to someone who isn’t your boyfriend. Sure, you lied to taehyung about how great you and kaito were, but you didn’t want him to think you just picked the first boy who gave you attention. As the weeks have gone by, perhaps you realize you did just that. Maybe you weren’t ready for a relationship, maybe you pushed yourself into the dating world just to get taehyung out of your mind. You sigh deeply and sit up, looking at your appearance in a mirror across, hanging on the wall. You were a fucking mess, physically and mentally. You were going to just head back to bed but it’s then when you remembered how taehyung asked to talk with you this morning. You knew he probably wasn’t up for it anymore, but you didn’t want to leave him with a full chest to sleep on when he had an opportunity to talk with you. You peeled the covers back and tiptoe over to the door, opening it quietly.

He wasn’t in the kitchen or living room so you assumed he was in his own room.

You quietly walk over and knock on his door, when there is no response you worry, opting to creek the door a little and find him already passed out in bed. You looked down and shut the door. He never sleeps this early. Oh you felt bad....real bad. Making your way into the kitchen for a cup of water, you found a small sticky note attached to the edge of the counter. You picked it up and held it close, reading it.

“I’m sorry :(“

You let out an audible “aw”, sighing and beginning to feel emotional for some reason. You didn’t mean to hurt him, he’s probably sleeping with the assumption you hate him now. You made a mental note to speak with him first thing in the morning to clear things out, tucking the sticky note into your pocket and going back to bed.

Throughout the night, your mind raced of only taehyung. It was wrong to think of him like this....right?

Maybe you were the one in the wrong here. You clutched your head in confusion, you thought you were doing yourself a favor pushing taehyung out of the picture to focus on a relationship, but the truth is that you should’ve said something to him. You should’ve told him how you felt. You really can’t predict how he would have reacted, maybe he felt the same for you. You regret this with your entire body, You loved taehyung, and you hated yourself for it.

Perhaps it was kaito you needed to talk to instead.

—-

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