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#theyre my organs after all
scurvioli · 11 months
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I wish the world was quieter so I could hear my internal organs and mechanisms work
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alchemiccolored · 4 months
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lorebird · 9 months
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Some pokemon doodle rqs for @tentatechnologies and @saint-nevermore :3
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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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mihai-florescu · 8 months
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E4E (enstarrie for enstarrie)
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britneyshakespeare · 8 months
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me when ive ordered myself a lil smth in the mail and i have smth to look forward to
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orcelito · 2 months
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Since I've got some life insurance money now, I keep ordering packages. Birthday gifts, household necessities/utility things that I've wanted but haven't bought b4 now for whatever reason (an electric kettle, a portable speaker, more outlet strips, wood cleaner, some cubbies for one of my new cabinets, etc), and Also a few frivolous nice things for myself (like the figurine, and the dice, and some comic books)
I'm expecting it to slow down after I've gotten things more settled, but I rly wonder what the post ppl think of me rn. Like "this bitch again?" I'm sorry post people I am simply trying to sort out my life rn. I promise I will be less annoying in time.
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real-life-cloud · 6 months
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:) 🧡
#the sky speaks#hiii i felt like rambling#im so busy lately!! retail job is exhausting and im working with my mom twice a week again#went to a yoga class with her on Sunday that was fun!! hard tho#and AUGGH. Christmas presents.........#i need to draw print and frame 2 pieces#make a blanket#and then when my mom isnt looking i need to organize her recipes. type them all up and print them out and find a like#pretty photo album type thing to put them in i think#i just bough stuff for my dad bc im making too much 😞#and i hav other atuff i need to do too#i need to take lucy to the vet. i need to help my mom finish painting the kitchen.#i need to clean out my garden bc i never got to it in the fall. i need to text my friend and plan a gift exchange probably after new years#and FUCK. i need to get stuff for her cousin. i told them id get them a Christmas gift... but idk what theyd like ......#its their first Christmas too!!!!!!!! (theyre an adult but we were all raised in a cult and they only just got out. long story)#so i defo wanna get them smthn#im a little bummed tho bc my friend never texted me for my bday#shes super busy + has memory issues + is not used to celebrating bdays (aforementioned cult stuff) so like i get it but now i feel awkward#cause like im fonna remind her when i do text her and its gonna make her feel bad but like. there is no hiding it#hmm i also need to make Christmas cookies for family n neighbors#and ive always wanted to look into mailing cookies!! i wanna send my internet friends cookies.... but again im so busy idk if i can thisyear#maybe i could do belated Christmas cookies.. new years cookies#on a sadder note ive been feeling very gender (bad edition) lately. especially todya#so weird that my family still calls me by my full name most of the time. and introduces me that way#and at work everyone calls me layn :) which is nice. some of my coworkers r trans too !!#i think i wanna get a pronoun pin for my uniform#but idk part of me wants to always introduce myself as layn and another feels off or insincere in that want. bc ive been helayna for so long#its just second nature to introduce myself with my full name. its less want and more muscle memory#speaking of names. ive thought of adding a new name. tryin one out. its been stewing for a while but i like the name owen#im running out of tags now whoopsie.. but yea theres a little life update ty for reading 💞
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soldier-poet-king · 1 year
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Actually fuck capitalism even more than usual
I'm the ONLY employee who has to be physically in office every day, other than the reception/admin lady, I'm literally THE only employee without vacation or even paid sick leave (let alone benefits), and I'm THE only employee not allowed VPN access so I can work from home and not lose pay DURING A WINTER STORM WARNING while everyone else works from home or takes their saved up vacation time
'oh but youre contract' I'm FULL TIME CONTRACT FOR 16 MONTHS. I HAVE MULTIPLE GRADUATE DEGREES. I AM ALMOST CERTAINLY MORE QUALIFIED THAN EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING EXCEPT MY BOSS AND THE ACCOUNTANT, but no I'm YOUNG and PEOPLE PLEASING and apparently I'm earning my dues and my father is like "yeah that's just how it is at entry level' like???? AND UR JUST OK WITH THIS SHIT??? WE COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THIS WAS JUST???
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Guys I'm so incredibly sorry. My brain is currently full of gen 1 my little pony thoughts only suitable for the fictbio blog
#i have created so much fake science as to how magic works#after hundreds/thousands of years ponies evolved symbioticly with magic (which isnt technically alive but functions kinda like an organism)#and now most of them have generate amount of magic via their heads. which is why the hair is magic + all the magic is done with ears/noses#ponies with excessive amounts of magic usually have growths on their foreheads (unicorns) or eyes (the twinkle eye bitches)#there are ways to artificially enhance your control over magic (most notably tatoos which only heighten control over what the tatoo is of)#(which is why cutie marks are practically a cultural necessity. you usually choose one as a teenage coming of age thing)#(the ones babies have are temorary and pretty weak and just exist to fuck around and find out/let the kids explore their options)#((i might change my headcanons on this so cutie marks are actually natural but im proud of the hypothetical idea)#most babies we see are genetic clones but ponies can reproduce sexually#sea ponies are a relatively newly evolved species (if you can even say that about a species. theyre been here thousands of years)#and they're only semi-aquatic as babies. kind of. they have a separate air breathing respiratory system and water breathing one#and as bebs theyre still learning to use each one selectively so they need to gradually ease into the water over years so they dont drown#or maybe im wrong ive been reading the box descriptions for hours but its been forever since i watched the series#all i remember about the series is that not having a shadow makes you all kinds of sick#and that you call upon the seaponies when youre in destr-
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dexaroth · 10 months
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i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself
i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean
#its a hexer case and wouldnt you guess the front has a hexagonal pattern. so pretty..#it came with 3 fans installed there too that have a cmyk color style to them and it looks quite neat. im thinking of buying some leds to pu#inside the case to go with my keyboard tho idk if id go that far tbh (< gamer rot is setting in. im not immune to pretty lighting..)#its also got a lot of unused space inside. im thinking of making more sculptures to put in. though idk if thatd be safe for it#bc cold porcelain is glue and water. what if it evaporates inside and suddenly everythings covered in a glue film#i wonder if varnish would help? the transparent nail polish sure didnt do shit it came off like 2 days after sculpting the rw slug sleeping#which like yeah of course. its nail polish. but i didnt expect it to flake since all it does is sleep on top of my laptop keyboard#i need miniature glass cake cover tops to encapsule every sculpture inside for safety#looking at it still no wonder these are called towers gotdamn its legit so huge..#it looks awkward tho bc i cant fully make it glue to the wall bc of the cables so its like. awkwardly a bit in front of the wall#im scaared as to how to tell if it ever gets too hot. on a laptop u just press ur head against the left half and feel how hot it is#i think im gonna need software for this.. sigh. tho maybe ill never get to that point since its supposed to be decent#AND its not 8 years old + the 3 fans and gpu fan and cpu fan. surely thats enough. the case even has space for more than that!!#the acrylic side reflects my keyboard too. so niceys. stimulation for my creature eyes#my desk is gonna be so fucked up when i have to organize everything too bc the one i have now is perfecly laptop-oriented#it sits on a custom wooden desk and the keyboard+drawing tablet sit below. but theres a shelf on top of my desk thats too low for the>#>normal monitor to sit to so i wont be able to use the custom desk. and i dont even know what ill do with my laptop either#finally a good change in my sad life routine fr. i cant wait to play watchdogs on this and overgrowth and other ones#AND LAGLESS KRITA SMUDGE ENGINE BRUSHES!!! AND DOUBLE BRUSHES. THEYRE SO LAGGY#A N D ACTUAL FULL HD NORMAL MONITOR. maybe that will get me to not draw in small canvases anymore#now im anxious i just want the day to be over to get the monitor tomorrow aouugh.. just bc i started coding my resources neocities page#dextxt#<the 'major life events' ((sorta)) tag returns. one for the books.. if something bad happens.. itll be here to remind me of the good times
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0-dear-rose-0 · 11 months
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dear god that band au of Kyle Wendy Tolkien and Kenny you just posted is so GOOD i LOVE IT. Makes me... wanna write... you know... 👀👀 would be such a shame if you hit me with some of the brain rot surrounding this au teehee
IF YOU WRITE ANYRHUNG I WILL DIE OUT OF HAPPINESS
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Aherm
Ok the way I imagined is like😭🙏
So Wendy and tolkien and kyle are all study buddies and I imagine that south park decided to have a little event as kind of battle of the bands?? So the prize is like 5000 and Wendy was like WHAT IF we joined?? Just for fun
Tolkien plays the bass, Kyle guitar and Wendy can sing and since they all have a little bit of experience with music, Wendy is all confident that they'll definitely win. Tolkien points out that they probably need a drummer and Wendy's like well shit idk any drummers and then Kyle buts in like " I do !!"
Spoiler, it's Kenny. 😭 and so Wendy goes up to him and asks if he wants to join the band and Kenny is all like sorry I can't :/ I'm already in a band.
Wendy says "WITH WHO??"
UH OH, it's crimson dawn !! They're also joining the event 😔 and Wendy is a little pissed off and salty bc now it's ON and she's not letting Stan beat her (she's competitive) She relays this info back to Tolkien and Kyle and tolkien reason that as much as they want to win they should reallt find a drummer bc without one they'll probably get beat.
And so kyle goes up to kenny and goes pretty please join the band so kenny says yes. and Stan is APALLED. Oh the betrayal
And Wendy's like 🤨 bc obviously kenny is playing favorites (it's K2 I can't escape it)
Stan is very pissed off at both Kyle and kenny. And now crimson dawn needs a replacement for 😭 kenny 🙏 who is it, you may ask?? Idk I haven't decided 😔 part of me is thinking craig simply because it's funny to me when craig and Stan beef with each other. And I was also thinking Tweek because him playing like really heavy metal, I imagine he just puts all his frustrations into it and everyone is like 😧 but it's also not too surprising
Anyways timeskip kinda and Wendy's band wins !! ( I HAVENT DECIDED A NAME ARGHH)
They all work together to write songs and they're actually pretty good, kenny posts some online and they go kinda viral leading them to continue playing music for fun and getting recognized.!! Wupee
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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Like I'm not one of those story "critics" who will nitpick the smallest inconsistency and call it a plot hole that ruins the whole story. I'm okay with inconsistencies and even the occasional plot hole if it ends up producing a story that's interesting, gripping, and brings up interesting things.
The problem is that suspension of disbelief only stretches so far. And secondly, stuff like character drama and themes are only as strong as the plot that supports them. If the plot is full of contrivances, plot holes, and really stupid things that make it feel like the author is just forcing something to happen to move the story along, then the themes and character drama become much less convincing.
#squiggposting#anyways i do like problematic idw op and i do like it when he has enemies and ppl who don't trust him#but not when the plot to make ppl hate him is stupid as shit and barely makes any sense#or when optimus does something mildly dubious and people act like he personally tortured their families and then murdered them#or like when characters are oddly hostile to OP/the autobots but are perfectly fine working with far worse ppl#like how the humans were all 'fuck the autobots theyre evil' but were fine with helping the cons build a fucking base???#after the decepticons already killed 1 billion humans??? including soundwave who is one of their main liasons???#if the humans really didn't trust the decepticons then why didn't they just say 'fuck you you can't build a base in our solar system'#or like that stupid publicity plot point about how OP 'abandoned' jazz when like.#so you're telling me OP can't defend jazz for killing one. ONE cop in self defense#but it's not bad publicity for him to associate with soundwave who. let me repeat. was literally on the ground slaughtering humans in AHM#spike even knew about how that entire situation with the cop was a trap laid by megtron but somehow that never came up in the whole comic#it's just so dumb man like it feels sometimes more like its an IDW OP hate train and actual logic is secondary to making OP look like an as#also galvs being all like 'that's my boy' when OP annexed earth when galv is a racist boomer grandpa who kills organics for sports#i refuse to believe that guy would be impressed by anything less than OP personally murdering a human. not making them part of cybertron's#gov. you know? it's just silly#it's part of why i've been putting off rereading barber's comics because it was weird and contrived the first time#and i don't really want to put myself through rereading it again just to have to suffer through shitty plot again#so many things in that series couldve been genius if they were written in a plot that wasn't aggressively mid tier
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waluigisgaybf · 1 year
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THIS TOOK ME A HOT SEC, and I totally feel like I somehow cheated because theres 3 sets of siblings so there doesnt appear to be much variety 😳😳😳 heres the picrew!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH @numbaoneflaya for tagging meeeee- Literally the only person I can think of rn tag is @the-rxven-king????
Alphonse Overa | Avie Overa
Meiji Redgrave | Beatrice Redgrave
Nigel Maevrie | Reid Maevrie
Miris Tabris | Cassian Surana
(Rip cause Bea is only 10 but I couldnt make her look younger, and extra rip for me purposly giving Meiji fun anime hair so no option looked right)
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rosykims · 1 year
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hi so im thinking about ashara and cillian in the fade. the fear demon revealing to everybody that anders is alive and the resulting conversation <3 and cass is pissed obviously but instead of ashara being pissed at him she ends up defending him to everyones shock. and then she begrudgingly tells him and the group about her blood mage mother. and how everybody thought she was beyond saving, but that never made sense to ashara because she'd watched her mother live with control and discipline for like 14 years prior to her one unfortunate slip up. and she tells cillian that her mother may not have won her battles in the end but she believes that anders must be very strong to have held on so long and she believes that there is always hope for him to get better. bye
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dyketubbo · 2 years
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Hi. If you truly wanted not to argue with or be left alone by Dream fans, perhaps considering not main tagging Dream? It's not like you help a victim like Amanda by antagonizing a group of Dream followers by invading their tag. You could tag your posts as anti-Dream and speak with like-minded individuals. Instead you purposely seek out fans. Just comes across as the antics of an immature 17-year-old.
im not purposely seeking out fans dumbass. stop being self centered it isnt about you. i tag dreamwastaken for 1. organization and 2. for the people who have his tag blacklisted. tagging anti-dream may serve the former, but it defeats the purpose of the latter. i dont give a shit about dream fans, if they have to see my posts about how hes a piece of shit then boohoo. theyre fully capable of blocking me. i dont want to engage with dream fans. im not trying to "seek out fans", thats maybe the dumbest fucking way to interpret me saying "hey if youre going through his tag as a fan of his, block me if you dont care to reconsider being a fan of his". but hey. i dont expect dream fans to be able to understand the concept of leaving someone alone if they hate dream. no skin off my nose in the end
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