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#this is why Hollywood is dying
biblionerd07 · 5 months
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Am I to believe someone chose to have Matt Bomer and Chris Messina in a fucked up, intense, codependent relationship and the only gay stuff happened off-screen before the story started???
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dancerachanation · 9 months
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delicatefury · 10 months
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Look. I have literally no horse in this race when it comes to the WGA/SAG Hollywood strike. I do not watch enough TV or movies to be affected and I’m not a part of the industry. I really haven’t cared.
As a lawyer and orchardist, however, I am now utterly entranced by the fact that some Universal Studios exec thought it was a good idea to cut down city-owned trees in the middle of summer.
There is no way to get around the absolute clusterfuck they have brought down upon themselves.
First, the ownership question. These trees are not owned by Universal. They’re the City of Los Angeles’ trees. That means the responsibility, and the right, to maintain them belongs to the city government. If you want to touch city property like that, you better have their permission. If not, you’re looking at anything from fines, to replacement/maintenance costs, to jail time.
Now, I don’t know LA, and I’m not licensed in California, but a lot of cities also require permits for any massive trimming like that that can affect public property (like the roads and sidewalks).
Second, they have zero excuses that can even remotely minimize the trouble they’re in. Anything that justifies that kind of pruning at this time of year would have likely required the full removal and destruction of the trees.
Because that level of pruning? You don’t do that in summer. You absolutely do not do that in summer unless the trees are dying or infested with something. Why? Because summer is healthy growth time. Summer is when your trees need all the energy they can get so they can grow and strengthen their branches and roots.
It’s also when they’re susceptible to diseases. Various bacteria, fungi, and insects strike during the summer and can cause severe damage. By trimming those trees so severely, not only are there a ton of gapping wounds for diseases to enter the tree, they’re now stressed by trying to replace that lost growth, which makes it even harder for them to survive any further damage.
Basically, Universal Studios might end up accidentally killing the trees. Which will make everything so much worse.
So, yeah. Now I’m invested.
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lilpomelito · 4 months
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Steve being Eddie’s bi or gay awakening whatever. Eddie thinks he’s just so grateful for Steve—I mean the man literally carried him in his arms out of hell like some mythological hero and then basically struck the fear of god on the medical staff who refused to help—so of course he’s obsessed with him, he owes him his life! Of course Eddie wants to know about his day even if Steve thinks it’s boring, of course he brings him lunch to work and maybe adds the little treats he’s seen Steve enjoys like Reese’s cups, of course he’s been listening to Pink Floyd and Dire Straits just because those are Steve’s favorites to gather inspiration. It’s only natural he’s sat Lucas down and demanded he explain the rules of basketball to him so Eddie can at least understand what’s going on when Wayne invites Steve over to watch the game. It’s not weird at all that he asked Jonathan to make a copy of that one cute picture he snapped of Steve roughhousing with Dustin when he develops the film. It’s not strange that he’s read Alice in Wonderland three times just because that’s Steve’s favorite novel. Of course he takes Steve to the movies and he buys him all the snacks he wants. It’s a given that they drive together on a weekend trip Chicago to see a show Steve’s been dying to see. The man saved his life! Eddie’s just grateful, that’s all. That’s why he’s so surprised when Robin confronts him about his “crush”, what crush?? Eddie likes girls! And yes, Steve is an attractive guy, half the town agrees, that’s not a controversial opinion. Who cares that Eddie thinks Steve could be a Hollywood heartthrob if he put his mind and talents to it. He doesn’t have a crush, that’s ridiculous. But Eddie is Eddie and he can’t just leave something be so of course he ends up cornering Nancy of all people to ask her how did she know she liked Steve back in junior year. To his absolute surprise she laughs in his face and tells him not to worry, she’s not interested, and she won’t stand in the way. She also says she’s happy for them, that she always knew Steve “played for both teams” and she’s happy he’s with someone who takes care of him. After that ridiculous conversation Nancy leaves, and Eddie is even more confused than before, because apparently Steve likes guys too, but Eddie doesn’t! Doesn’t he? Nancy is right that he likes taking care of Steve but thats because… well he’s running out of excuses isn’t he?
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ladykailitha · 3 months
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The Harrington Pattern Part 7
Hello! It's Tuesday and that means more Steve and Eddie. And it's looking like the story will end in chapter 12. It might take one more than that, but it's definitely almost done.
So what will that mean? Well, I'll start working on working on another story to bring it back up to two, but will still only work on the others on WIP Wednesday because I'm trying to get down the amount of WIPs I have running. I have far too many.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
Day two of the Fair. Will sees Steve and Steve reveals a little trick. And Steve has to be stern mom again.
@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken
****
Steve picked up his usual set and went to the Renaissance Fair. This time they were the first to arrive and they stood there waiting for the rest of them to show up.
He had left the spirit gum with Mrs Sinclair and she was able to do an even better job then he had yesterday putting the ears back on.
The bow and quiver had been left behind today because sadly the poor bow had been a mangled, tangled mess by the time they left the fair yesterday.
Max and Robin’s cutlasses had fared better because they never left their sides, but even slung over Lucas’s shoulder, the poor aluminum just couldn’t bare the brunt of the crowds. And today was going to be even busier.
Steve looked at his watch and then back at the growing crowd waiting in line.
He tapped his foot nervously when he saw the familiar van pull into the lot. And the merry band of fellows hopped out, wearing the outfits they had yesterday. The ones that made Steve green with envy on how well they were put together.
It was like they had just walked off the set of a Hollywood movie.
He was good with a needle and thread, but whoever made their costumes should be making money off it, they were that talented.
Jeff came around to the other side of the van where Steve could see him and his ears looked great too.
“Looking good, Lawrence,” Steve whistled. “The ears are vastly improved.”
Jeff bowed dramatically. “Why thank you, my liege! I had my sister help me pick out the right color and type I needed and then I did it myself.”
Gareth snorted. “After practicing all night.”
Brian elbowed their youngest member. “It’s just like trying to get a beat right, you have to practice. Don’t give him shit for that.”
Gareth grumbled, but muttered a half-hearted apology to Jeff. The older teen just grinned at his friend.
Which after how crazy yesterday was, Steve wasn’t looking forward to a repeat if Jeff took offense to Gareth’s comment.
Eddie had been unusually quiet during this conversation, so while they milled around waiting for the remaining third of their group, Steve came up to him.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, leaning down and forward to get a better look at the metalhead.
Eddie pursed his lips, but he nodded.
“You know, I have been dying to ask...”
Eddie smiled softly. “Who’s my tailor?”
Steve cackled. “Yeah, that. God, I would gleefully sacrifice one of the teenagers for the material alone, let alone the thread.”
“Which one?” Eddie asked, coming a little bit more out of his shell.
Steve reared back his head. “What?”
“Which one of the teenagers you would sacrifice?” Eddie asked again.
“Dustin,” Steve said without hesitation. “I figure virgin,” he counted on his fingers, “check, most annoying, check, and the one who would be the biggest... ‘value’ as it were, double check.”
Eddie laughed outright. “You don’t have to sacrifice any of them. Brian’s sister works at a big theater, the kind that do plays, as their costumer.”
Steve sighed and rubbed a bit of the black velvet between his thumb and forefinger. “You guys are so lucky.”
Eddie laughed again. “Trust me, even Bri had to pay for the privilege.”
Steve’s eyes lit up. “Oh?”
“Yup!” Eddie said, rocking back on his heels. “We had to pay for all the material and patterns ourselves, plus at least twenty-five percent of labor. These duds may be pretty, but lo they be also pricey.”
“Well, it was certainly worth it,” Steve murmured. “You guys look fantastic.”
Eddie’s cheeks colored a pretty pink. “Thanks. Um...mine is actually based on a character from a short story. Brian’s mom is Polish, but she loves sc-fi and fantasy so she gets this magazine, right?” Steve nodded. “So, anyway she’ll translate into English for Brian to read. It’s about this male witch and he has this minstrel friend named Jeskier...” he pronounced it strange, like yes-keer. “I’m probably pronouncing it wrong. But he’s so cool.”
“So you’re this minstrel guy?” Steve asked, suddenly understanding.
Eddie hummed excitedly. “Brian even went as one of the male witches. Not the main one though. But it’s still fun, you know?”
Steve smiled back. “Yeah. I never would have thought about going as a specific character before. Maybe we can plan something for next year.”
Whatever cloud leftover that was lingering over Eddie vanished in the light of Steve’s bright smile.
Eddie bumped his shoulder into Steve’s. “What’s on the docket today, pretty boy?”
Steve blushed bright red, but before he could answer, Claudia’s station wagon pulled up next to them. The four kids piled out, happily chatting and laughing. Well all but Mike.
Mike had always been a reserved kid, but as he got older, the more withdrawn he seemed to get. Will seemed to do the opposite. The kid was really coming out of his shell and into himself. And maybe that was the reason for Mike’s shrinking back.
Steve just shook his head and turned to Will. “Still no Jonathan?” he teased.
Will rolled his eyes. “He said and I quote ‘I’ll see about maybe Saturday’.”
Steve winced. He couldn’t make Jonathan come, but he could see how much Jonathan coming would mean so much to Will and it made his heart hurt just a little.
“Can’t force someone to have fun,” he said with a shrug. “It really is his loss.”
Will nodded sagely, like the mature person he was forced to become far too soon. “But! He did give me the ten dollars I needed for the staff to make up for it.”
Steve smiled. All right, maybe Steve didn’t have to stop by and give the elder Byers boy a piece of his mind.
He turned to Eddie. “Hey, you want to traverse the fields of commerce with me and Will to go get his staff?”
Eddie grinned. “Hell yeah! I didn’t get to go yesterday.”
Will grinned back. He turned to El and Mike. “You going to come with me. right?”
Mike shook his head. “El wanted to see the weavers this morning, but no one else wanted to go with her and with Steve’s dumb rule...”
“It’s not dumb,” Steve said. “Just because the Upside Down is gone, doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can hurt you.”
“We’re fifteen,” Mike protested. “I think that’s old enough to go by ourselves.”
Steve looked around at the other kids and they were all looking everywhere but at him. “May I remind you that we are literally standing on the ground where human monsters were trying to open a gate? Bad guys come in all shapes and sizes and even if you think you’re safe, is El? Or Will?”
The kids looked down at their feet and mumbled their apologies.
“I just want everyone safe and having a good time,” Steve finished. “You guys can do whatever you want, but do you know who your parents would blame if something happened to you?”
Dustin raised his head sharply. “But there are other adults here, why would they blame you?”
Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “Because I’m the fucking babysitter.” He walked off to get in line and everyone just followed behind quietly, suddenly somber.
Robin fell in step next to Steve and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Hey, dingus.”
Steve just ducked his head.
“It’s just a tricky age. You remember what it was like at their age,” she murmured.
“I was getting drunk every weekend, smoking, and having sex,” Steve grumbled. “I don’t want that for them.”
Robin kissed his cheek. “You’re sweet. But they’re going to have to figure it out on their own.”
Steve’s shoulders rounded. “I just want to them to have fun and we keep having knock out drag out fights before we go in and I–” he left out a deep sigh.
“You can’t be held responsible for what they do,” she said.
He snorted. “Tell that to Joyce or Claudia. Just because I’m the oldest.”
She hugged him tightly. “You’re not anymore and you know Eddie would do anything for those kids, too. Plus, this is exactly why you told them to find any adult. Let all of us help shoulder the load, too.”
Steve let out a low shuddering breath. “I’ll try. I just keep butting heads with Mike. Always Mike. And I don’t know what to do, he’s just so prickly and even outright hostile.”
“So don’t do anything,” Robin suggested.
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Let Eddie handle it,” she said. “He did a fine job yesterday. So let him do it again.”
Steve pressed his lips together and then nodded. “Okay.”
She kissed his cheek again and went back to talk to Eddie. Steve paid again for the tickets. Well, not all of them. Thankfully Eddie and his friends were paying their own way.
He turned to Will. “You ready to go get your staff?” He smiled broadly to hide the hurt of Mike’s rebellion.
Will smiled back. “Hell yeah!”
Eddie came bounding up to them. “I’ll meet you at the shop, there’s something I need to do really quick about tomorrow. They’ve messed up the schedule and me and Jeff have to go see someone about it.”
Steve nodded. “Yeah, just ask Jeff where the shop is, he should remember which one.”
Eddie smiled again. “You betcha, big boy.” He flounced back to Jeff and Steve watched him walk away.
When he turned back to Will, the young man was looking at him with curiosity.
“What’s up?”
Will furrowed his brows. “I’m trying to decide if you know about...” he pursed his lips trying to find a way to say what he meant without outing Steve in public. “What you feel about a certain someone?”
Steve looked back at where Eddie had melted into the crowd and then back at this all too perceptive boy. He put his arm around Will and started them walking toward the shop.
“If you’re asking what I think you’re asking,” Steve started slowly, “I’ve known I like both for awhile now. It was just easier to focus on the one. The one that was socially acceptable, you know?”
Will nodded. “I can see that. And then he came barreling into our lives and a good kind of upside down happened?”
Steve smiled fondly. “Yeah. He is so sweet. He’s everything I thought I wanted in Nancy.”
Will grinned. “You do have a type.”
He scuffed Will’s hair a bit. “Yeah, yeah.”
They walked in silence for awhile before Steve spoke up again.
“I feel I should give you a heads up before we get to the shop,” he said with a wince.
Will looked over at him in confusion.
“I may have talked the merchant in to holding it for you by giving them a ten dollar deposit to hold it.”
Will’s jaw dropped. “You can do that?”
Steve laughed. “No, not really. By I can be persuasive and he was willing to do me the favor.”
“Thanks, Steve,” Will murmured. “You’ve done so much for us, I think we take you for granted sometimes.”
Steve half shrugged. “My parents suck and while some of you have actually decent parents and older siblings, I don’t mind being the babysitter the one you guys look up to and come to for advice.”
Will smiled. “Any tips on how to tell your best friend you have a crush on them?”
Steve threw back his head and laughed. “Look, the one time I did that I was drugged up on truth serum and literally couldn’t lie. I don’t think that’s going to help you.”
“Too bad Robin bats for the other team,” he said with a smile.
Steve smiled back. “Nah, I think her telling me that is what made it easier for me to realize that having those feelings can’t make you a bad person. Not when she was so amazing.”
Will cocked his head to the side. “That’s fair.”
“Come on you,” Steve said, “let’s go get you this wizard staff.”
Will stopped in his tracks. “You said it right. You never say the DnD terms right.”
Steve raised a finger up to his lips and winked. “I do it because it drives Dustin up the wall and Eddie just loves explaining it to me, so I kill two birds with one stone.”
Will laughed. “Yeah, okay.”
As they wove their way through the crowd, Will smiled to himself. Steve and Eddie both liked boys, knew they liked boys, and were still unapologetically themselves. And maybe he could be too.
But first, he was going to get that wicked staff he saw yesterday because he had two brothers looking out for him. His biological one and Steve. Someone who cared so deeply that even when he should have walked away, he stayed.
And Will always could use more people that just...stayed.
****
Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
For those that don't know "The Witcher" was an original short story in a Polish sci-fi/magazine in 1985. I couldn't figure out if Jeskier was in the original tale, so shush if he isn't.
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corrodedcoffins-blog · 6 months
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The First Meeting
main masterlist
spencer reid x famous!reader Universe
word count: 4.1 k
warnings: stalking, murder, character asking to die (if I missed something please let me know)
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Today was supposed to be an easy day for the BAU. It was a paperwork day, no case, no one dying on their watch.
These were some of Spencer's favourite days, don’t get him wrong he loves being in the field and profiling killers, and when they arrest an unsub, that’s the best feeling.
But having days every now and again where they don’t have to travel and Spencer can read and reflect on their previous case, he greatly enjoys it. And he can’t say he’s the only one, but he can say he’s the only one that uses paperwork days to do paperwork.
Penelope walks in the glass doors humming a tune, foreign to Spencer.
“You got that James Dean day dream, hmm hm mhmmm, I got that red lip classic” 
“What’s got you so happy, babygirl?” Derek says, from across Spencer.
“Um, because The Met Gala is tonight! Biggest night in Fashion! And no case means I can watch it.”
“Oh, I must have forgot to put it on my calendar.” Derek, sarcastically remarks while getting up and out of his chair on his way to refill his coffee cup. All the while JJ comes rushing the bullpen, giving the rest of her co-workers a sympathetic face.
“Just when I thought, we would have an easy day.” Emily mumbles getting out her desk chair and walking away with JJ.
“Wally Melman, a music producer in New York, was killed two weeks ago, and Natali Ryan , a singer and songwriter, was killed 4 days ago also in New York.” JJ says while the screen behind her shows pictures of the crime scene.
“The police said they found pictures with the victim's face with ‘You’re Next’ written in red marker across their face. Suspected to have gotten in the mail.”
“And why have they called us now?” Derek says, clearing knowing there was more JJ was going to say but wanting her to get to it quicker. 
“Yesturday, another singer/songwriter, by the name of Y/n L/n-” 
“Oh. My God!” Penny interrupts JJ, having come in to tell the team an update she had gotten from the NYPD. “uh- sorry, I’m sorry.. Um, the NYPD wants a couple of us to go straight to the crime scene once we land, and that the next vic- uh Y/n L/n I suppose- is at the station waiting.” Penny says, turning and leaving after finishing her sentence. 
“Okay everyone, wheels up in 30. JJ can fill us in on the jet.”
When the team arrived in New York, Hotch sent Rossi and Emily to the recent crime scene, and JJ to talk to the media, while himself, Spencer, and Derek went to the station.
When the three got to the station they were shown the note Y/n had gotten from the unsub, different to the others, hers having ‘You Owe Me’ written across her face instead. The team walked into the room they were told Y/n would be in.
Spencer knew she would be pretty, everyone in Hollywood was gorgeous that’s how it worked, but this girl was easily the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes upon, even with her bleached hair that he could assume was a split second decision.
She sat on a chair next to one of the officers' desks, as if she was like everyone else and not a world-wide popstar. Y/n and her manager Joe look up, hearing footsteps walk into the room. She stood up to shake Hotch’s hand. 
“Hi, I’m Y/n, it’s nice to meet you and thank you so much.” “Of course” 
She goes to shake Derek hand, saying a greeting similar to the one she gave Hotch, then she comes face to face with Spencer, or possibly- not definitely the most beautiful man she has ever seen, sticking out her hand she says, “Hi, nice to meet you..”
“Dr. Spencer Reid- or just Spencer, you don’t have to call me doctor.” “Nice to meet you Spencer.” Y/n stays looking at Spencer maybe a second longer than she should have. It’s just so hard to look away from a man that beautiful. When Y/n does finally look away, she takes a seat and they begin their questioning. 
“How well do you know Natalie Ryan?”
“Uh, we talked when we were at the same events and were always friendly, but we weren’t friends.”
“How about Wally Melman?”
“What?” 
“Wally Melman, he was a producer who was killed a couple months ago.” Spencer jumps in, making Y/n turn to address him, while she asks her next statement .
“The paper said that it was a robbery.” “The paper was wrong.” Derek responded quickly.
“Did you know him?” Hotch asks, wanting to get back to the questions he has for Y/n.
“I wanted to work with him on my last album, but he started working with..” Y/n cut herself off.
“Who?” Spencer asks concernedly, seeing the scared look on Y/n's face.
“Natalie Ryan, and they beat Y/n for song of the year” Joe says while Y/n is setting her face to rest in her hands, trying to comprehend what was happening.
“Do you ever have the feeling that someone is following you, or watching you?” Derek asks.
“Only every second I spend outside my house. I have fans, and paparazzi following me everywhere. It’s part of the job.” 
“Do you ever get repetitive phone calls, hang ups, or gifts sent anonymously?” Spencer asks.
“I receive flowers, Lilies, my favourite. The seventh of each month they get sent to each of my homes, they just show up on the doorstep. Never a note, nothing.” 
After a few more of their questions it just becomes too much, knowing that these people are being killed because of her or ‘for’ her and Y/n gets up and leaves the room. Not being able to actually leave given the cameras outside, she doesn’t get too far. And Spencer is right behind her.
“Y/n wait!”
“Can you explain what the hell is going on?”
“Well, it’s still rather speculative, but it appears there’s a delusional assassin who’s killing people to help further your career. It probably started as a stalker. An erotomaniac stalker. There’s a psychopathology of the evolution of these types of stalkers and the fact that he’s contacting you indicates that he believes you owe him something. This model frequently concludes itself with one of two possibilities, either the stalker will kill himself or he’ll kill the object of his affection.”
If Spencer wasn’t talking about the possibility of Y/n’s untimely death, she would have had more time to find Spencer’s rambling and seemingly never ending knowledge hot.
Y/n had gotten home from her time at the station, hoping to be able to relax as she has the Met tomorrow night. But when she had gotten to her front door the yellow notepad paper taped onto it caught her eye.
After reading the note she called the station immediately. The BAU had arrived looking over the note, Y/n was in the room but not listening, she onlys snaps back into listening to the conversations when she hears Spencer. 
“In English?” one of the officers asks.
“That is English actually.” Y/n smiles at that, while Spencer continues, getting cut off by Derek not too far into his explanation. Y/n finally speaks up, after the team starts talking about how she should continue, as if she isn’t there.
“I’m standing right here guys..”
“If we did remove you from the street, you couldn’t stay here, we would have to take you to an undisclosed location.”
“I have a fitting here in 30 mins, and the Met tonight, then I’m all yours. Look, I don't want to be afraid of this lunatic.”
"We can clear all but essential personnel, and up your security.”
“Derek and Spencer will stay here with you.”
“Okay.”
The team getting Y/n ready for the Met have set up, Y/n just finished getting hair and makeup done in just her underwear and a robe. Spencer walks up to Y/n while she’s opening a greenhouse ginger shot to drink.
“I’m sorry if I was insensitive earlier.” Spencer says, referring to when he followed her outside of the questioning room and told her there was a possibility this stalker/assassin guy will kill her, just a tad insensitive.
But nonetheless Y/n responds with, “It’s fine, you were just doing your job, right?” “Yeah.” Y/n takes her ginger shot with a look of remorse on her face. She reaches for the soda in Spencer’s hand, to wash it down. 
“You don’t mind sharing with me do you?”  Spencer quickly shakes his head mumbling a quick ‘no’ while Y/n’s team calls her to get into the dress, Y/n takes off the robe she was wearing, causing Spencer’s eyes to widen, then throwing the robe over a nearby chair. Now standing in just her underwear she smiles at Spencer before walking over to the team helping her get into the dress.
Leaving Spencer to watch her as she subtly sways her hips slightly more than usual when she walks. Spencer takes a sip of the soda Y/n had handed back after taking a sip, Derek coming over to tease Spencer about the scene he just watched.
“You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” “Shut up.” Spencer says as he walks away. “Go get ‘em, lover.”
Y/n didn’t get to stay at the Met nearly as long as she wished. With double the security and Spencer there with her, she knew she wouldn’t have the night she was hoping for, but maybe something close.
But as she danced with Tom Hiddleston, Spencer got the call to take her to the safe house. Spencer didn’t really want to interrupt Y/n dancing on who he assumes is  another famous person, but he had to, for her safety. 
“Um- Y- Y/n we have to go.” Spencer says while struggling to gain her attention.
“Really?” “Yeah..” “Okay” she sighs, turning to Tom, mumbling an apology and some fake excuse.
They got to Y/n's home. Spencer rambling about safety measures Y/n should take. “You should also probably change all your phone numbers.” “I’m unlisted.” “Anytime you call an 800 number or an 888 number your phone number’s put into a data bank that’s then sold to telemarketers. If someone gets your cell phone number they can go online and research all your records.”
Y/n looks at Spencer expecting him to continue, but when he doesn’t she assumes he’s done, and gets up to walk into her kitchen, saying as she gets up, “You’re very cute when you ramble.” Causing Spencer to freeze but when she turns the corner out of his sight he rushes to keep up with her.
“You should also probably carry a piece of paper and a pen with you wherever you go in case you see any suspicious licence plates that often reappear.” Spence trails of looking closely at a collage hung up on Y/n’s wall 
“It’s a photographic collage. I like how obscure it is.”
“You should also get a dog. Like a guard dog of some sort.” Spencer says, staring intently at the collage but not acknowledging what Y/n said about it. 
“I don’t think so, I'm a cat person. Dogs are not for me… Earl grey good?”
“Wha- what?”
“Tea, do you want some tea?”
“Uh yes, yes sure.”
“Okay” Y/n says smiling at his nervousness.
Y/n walks into the living room, in her swimsuit with a robe overtop, coming to stand next to Spencer while he stares intently at the picture collage on Y/n’s wall. 
“Are you feeling anything?” “There is something definitely appealing about it.” “That’s a start” Y/n says while chuckling.
Turning on her heels towards the back door to the pool. This catches Spencer’s actions wondering what she's doing, he asks, “What are you doing?” “Going for a swim.” Y/n responds nonchalantly. “What? No, Y/N!” Spencer yells following her, but before he can reach her she dives into the pool.
Swimming up to the surface and wiping her face with her hands. She looks so gorgeous, she looks like a movie star, which is not far off. But Spencer really shouldn’t be thinking about how beautiful she is when he’s job is to keep her safe, and her being out here is not safe.
“Y/n, you cannot do this.” “Just a few minutes?” She ‘asks’ while giving Spencer puppy dog eyes. “Go get a suite in the house.” “What? No, I’m not going to grab a suit. Are you kidding me? No.” Spencer says in that high pitched tone he does, she’s only heard it once before, but she can’t help but find it so cute.
“Join me.” “No, I’m going to join you.” “Why not?” “You’re being pursued by a psychotic killer who shoots people in the head!” “I’m not going to stop living my life because of him.” Y/n turns to float in the water. “Y/n, I’m begging you. Will you please get out of the pool?”
“Come on, Spence, you should live a little.” “Live a little? I’ve not known you for 24 hours, I feel like I’ve already aged 10 years.” “Ugh, I can’t be that bad.” “Yes, you are that bad.” Y/n turns off of her back and starts to swim to the edge of the pool Spencer is standing at. 
“Fine, but can you help me out at least?” She says putting on an innocent face as if she really did want help out of the pool. When Spencer leans down to grab her hand to help her up, Y/n pulls him into the pool causing a big splash following after Spencer falls in. 
Which then causes a laugh to come from Y/n as Spencer rises to the water's surface. 
“Yes, very funny. Laugh it up, Y/n. Hilarious. My gun’s wet. That’s just great” Spencer swims to the edge to get his gun out of the water, Y/n swimming behind him, still chuckling. 
“My clothes.” “I told you to grab a suit.” 
While Spencer looks down at his wet chest, Y/n’s hand comes to rest on his peck, causing Spencer to look up at Y/n. When he looks at her, she is already looking in his eyes, her eyes asking the question ‘do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?’ the answer being ‘yes’ as Spencer starts to lean in. Not knowing what he’s doing, leaning in to kiss Y/n L/n global superstar? Who does he think he is, thinking she would want to kiss him? But contrary to Spencer's beliefs, Y/N leans in too, pulling his body closer to hers faster by his tie. As their lips collide, it feels as if the world slows down. For the first time in a long time Y/n feels normal, regular, ordinary, in the best possible way. She feels in the way Spencer's lips are moving against hers that he doesn’t want her for her fame, or looks, but for her. Just her. But then Spencer pulls away. It had only been a couple seconds, how could a kiss that short hold that much emotion? Spencer’s words stop her from thinking too much. 
“This is completely inappropriate.” “Spence..” Y/n looks into Spencer's eyes only looking away when she closes them and pulls him into another kiss, by his tie. This kiss, still sweet and emotion filled, yet rougher, as if they had gotten that much more comfortable now versus 15 seconds ago. Their lips move together roughly, Y/n tongue brushing Spencer’s lips looking for access, which causes Spencer to move his lips back from Y/n’s again. “No, there’s this thing called transference.” Spencer says, all the while Y/n is trying to recover from the best kiss of her life, and Spencer has no idea. “Do you not like me?” “What?” Spencer says quickly like him not liking her, and is just the most insane idea in the world, and truthfully that’s not far off. “Was that kiss not good?” “No- no it was very good.” “Because I like you.” “I like you too. It’s just I’m a federal agent. You know. And I’m supposed to protect you.” “Then you should keep me close.” Y/n mumbles moving her lips to Spencers again. Spencer pulls back to start talking again, as Y/N’s kisses move to his neck, kissing and nipping at his skin every so often, the first nibble causing Spencer to let out a surprised noise that quickly turns into a moan. “I’m just, hmm.. I’m a little worried, you know? We’re in a pool.” “Are we?” “And it’s uh.. We’re pretty much exposed.” Y/n moves to give Spencer's lips a quick peck, before responding to his concerns. “We have cops. We have cops posted out front.” Y/n cuts herself off to kiss Spencer again, “There are coyotes out back.” Y/n pauses looking at Spencer’s lips, while licking her own, then shooting her eyes up to Spencer’s “And then it’s just you and me.” Y/n moves her lips to be hovering over Spencer’s their noses rubbing against each other, it feels much more intimate than just kissing him, breathing in the after shave and cologne mixed with chlorine soaked into his skin is a smell Y/n would never get sick of, no matter how much she hated the smell of chlorine. She moves her lips back to the spot she found on his neck that makes him the most reactive. “Stop- I have to tell you something.” “What?” “I didn’t want to tell you this before, because I was a little bit worried… I didn’t know how to say it, but I can’t not tell you.” “Spence, just tell me. What is it?” “Your manager, Joe… Hotch went to check on him, but he got there too late.” Y/n looks into Spencer’s eyes any ounce of a look that would tell her he wasn’t serious. Because Joe couldn’t be dead. Not because of her, Joe was like family, no matter how weird he was. Joe was always there. Y/n turns away not being able to look at Spencer, “How could you-” She turns back to him, looking Spencer in the eyes as she aks, “How could you not tell me?” “I was afraid you’d be upset.” “You knew? How could you know and not tell me?” “Y/n, I’m so sorry” Y/n moves towards the edge of the pool to pull herself out, Spencer trying to help her. “Don’t- Don’ touch me! Please, don’t touch me!” Y/n gets out walking back into the house with a towel around herself, leaving Spencer in the pool.
Spencer walks into Y/n’s living room, seeing her sitting on her couch crying, he wants to comfort her. Just don't know how. “Y/n?...Are you still… Are you okay?” “Joe was like family.” Hearing Y/n cry hurts Spencer more than he thought possible from a girl he met not even 24 hours ago. “It’s just so hard to trust people in this industry, you don’t know who to believe.Everybody wants something from you. And I felt- I thought you were different.” “I know I should have told you.” “I told him not to.” Rossi cuts in having heard most of the conversation from behind Spencer. “He was only following my orders.” Rossi pats Spencer's shoulder while leaving the room. “The last time I could really trust people was when I moved to Nashville.” Y/n says, all the while Spencer is decoding the picture collage on Y/n’s wall. “Nashville, you said you lived you Houston street? And you were on KZ fm in high school?..” “Yeah..?” When Y/n sees the way Spencer is intensely staring at the collage she also gets up, to stand next to him. “I need to take this thing about.” Spencer says while not looking away. “What?” “I’ll put it back. I think I see images of you. Guys!”
Y/n stands to the side with Derek while Spencer and Emily are putting the pieces together. “Y/n, it looks like someone has been stalking you for years.”
“Yeah, this tells your whole life story. Awards, Billboard charts, Albums.” 
“Everything since moving to Nashville.”
“Who gave you this collage?” Derek asked, leaning over the island counter. “Um- he did” Y/N says pointing at a picture on the collage. “Who is he?” “Uh- Parker Dunley, I don’t really know him, he just owns a gallery I go to sometimes.” 
Spencer gets off the phone quickly turning to Y/N. “Y/N, do you someone by the name of Veronica Hartley?” “Roni? Yeah, of course I know her. I’ve known her for years. She’s one of my assistants.” Their conversation gets cut off by Y/n’s phone ringing. “What is it?” Spencer asks, seeing the way her eyes widened when she read the caller ID.
“That’s her calling now.” 
“Is she calling from her cell phone?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Y/n, we think Roni’s the stalker.” 
“No- No way.” 
“Answer the phone. Act completely natural, the longer you keep her on the line the more likely we’ll be able to trace the call.. Trust me.” Spencer walks away to call the team, while Y/n answers Roni’s call.
“Hello?…Roni?...” Spencer turns to Y/N and gives her a signal to keep talking.
“Rons?... You’re tired?......I saw you today?.... I don’t know what you’re talking about.. I remember.. Roni, that was just one weekend…”
“Y/n” Spencer whisper yells, after getting off the phone with Penny, finding out Roni’s calling inside the house.
“How did she get inside?”
“She has keys.”
Spencer starts searching the house Y/n walking behind him. When they get up to a guest bedroom, Y/n feels the barrel of a gun being pressed to her skull, Spencer quickly turns around. 
“Put down the gun.” Roni demands. “Roni..” Spencer says while lowering his gun. “Don’t call me ‘Roni” you don’t know me! Come on, Y/n, let’s go. We have to go, baby. Come on.” Y/n looks in Spencer’s eyes begging him to do something. “Roni, don’t hurt her. You don’t need to hurt her.” “You don’t know anything. I would never hurt her. I created her" "No you didn’t.” “Yes, I did you stupid, ungrateful, little bitch.. I can’t believe I ever loved you.” “Roni, she.. She loves me now.” Roni moves her gun from pointing it at Y/n’s head to pointing it at Spencer. “She told me so. When we were in the pool. She kissed me. Now she loves me okay?” “No.” “Tell her we kissed in the pool.” “No!’ Roni yells this time switching from pointing her gun from Spencer to Y/n. Y/n looks at Spencer hopefully to tell her the next move, when he nods his head at her she says, “Yes, we kissed.” Roni then pushes Y/n, and Spencer tackles Roni to the ground, grabbing her gun, and pointing it at her. “Kill me! Please. Kill me! I’ll be so much happier!” But Spencer shakes his head, lowering the gun as he says, “No, we’re going to get you some help.” 
Y/n is standing in the station talking to her publicist, while news vans are lined up outside.
“I don’t want any media.” “Come on, Y/n” “No. No media.” “Okay, no media. Let me deal with these guys then.”
After Y/n’s publicist leaves, Spencer walks up to Y/n. “I wish we didn’t meet under these circumstances. More normal maybe.” “Y/n, believe me, no matter how we met, I’m glad we did.” Y/n feels her whole body, warm at that, she turns her head, knowing Spencer can see the blush on her face. They’re interrupted when Derek yells for Spencer. “Hey, Reid. Come on, we got to move.” “Well, um- here, take this.” Y/n passes Spencer a receipt she had written her new number on. “Would you- if it’s okay with you, give me a call.” “Yeah, I would love to.” Rossi comes walking over. “I hate to intrude, kid, but we’re waiting.” “Yeah- yeah a second.” “So- call me, I’ll be waiting.” Y/n turns to walk away, but Spencer puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Y/n turns towards Spencer, he puts his hand on her check, Y/n leaning into his palm, turning her head slightly to press a small kiss into his palm, before walking away. 
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sitp-recs · 5 months
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My AO3 Wrapped: 16 Drarry Recs
This year I’ve embraced a change of pace and read way less than I intended to. This made me feel a bit disconnected from fandom but also allowed me to put this list together in record time so let’s not complain too much 😂 this is shorter and lacking my usual commentary but I didn’t want to break the tradition of sharing my fave reads of the year! Be it for their creativity or peak romance, these 16 amazing fics made my heart beat faster and got me even more in love with Drarry. I’ve read most of them in the first half of the year and it was interesting to see so many fics over 40k, as my usual sweet spot is 10k - 20k. I love the mix of tropes featured here and am very excited to rec authors I’m reading for the first time. ps: I haven’t included any Erised fics since the fest is still ongoing.
Thank you dear creators for sharing so many brilliant works with us this year! 2023 wasn’t my best year fandom-wise, but life has been so generous in other areas that I can’t help but feel humbled today. I wish everyone a lovely start to the new year! As always, please mind the tags and take some time to shower these authors with the appreciation they deserve. Oh, and stay tuned for a rare pair list sometime soon ;)
🍆 Snug by @moonflower-rose (E, 6k)
8th year | touch-starved Harry | soft cock kink
Potter can't keep his hands off himself. Draco can't look away.
🧩 Muscle Memory by @corvuscrowned (E, 8k)
curse breaking | partners to lovers | memory magic
There's something just beneath the surface, just at the periphery of Harry's mind. They've been here before — they've done this before. If only he could remember it.
👹 draco malfoy's substitute murder service by @oknowkiss (E, 10k)
odd jobs | D/s undertones | open ending
When Harry joins the Curse Breakers shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday, he’s surprised to find himself assigned to the Department of Creatures, Cryptids, and Associated Calamities.
🏰 the earth from a distance by spqr (E, 15k)
time travel | Wizarding history | only one bed
“Well,” Harry said gamely, once they’d managed to find the Leaky Cauldron – still under construction but mercifully open for business – and he’d turned up a few knuts from his pockets, enough to get them a room for the night, “it could be worse.”
🎚️ O Come, All Ye Faithful by toomuchplor (E, 20k)
vicar Draco | established relationship | Church of England
Aunt Petunia died, that was what began everything. Or rather, Aunt Petunia was dying. In the act of dying. In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.
🎄 Waking Up Slow by @sweet-s0rr0w and @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E, 22k)
shop owner Draco | summer romance | light angst
'Twas the night before Christmas, although it’s July / Draco’s a shopkeeper, no-one knows why / There’s hiking and witch caves, freak snowfalls and more / Bad Christmas jumpers, nosy neighbours galore / Narcissa’s here too, but… something’s amiss / And what’s in those chocolates that’s making them kiss?
🚬 Sun Thief by @floydig and BlackRose532 (E, 28k)
slice of life | fast sexual burn | dark humour
It’s 2005, and Draco Malfoy says, “Fuck the Ministry,” Harry works as a handyman in muggle London, and Draco should really stop pissing off the Squib gangs.
🍷 Winner Takes It All by @skeptiquewrites (E, 41k)
break up make up | down & out Draco | hurt/comfort
As with all his friends’ wagers, it starts small. Fifty Galleons for one kiss from Harry Potter is easily done.
🏖️ LA, Who Am I To Love You? by @epitomereally (E, 42k)
Draco in the Muggle World | pining Harry | recreational drug use
Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.
🫃Shine On, You Crazy Diamond by @lagerloutfic (E, 42k)
fwb to lovers | gay awakening (Harry) | mpreg (Draco)
Harry has probably always wanted Draco, it just took him a few years to figure that out. A story about the joy of discovering exactly who you are and how easy it can be once you do.
🚣‍♀️ Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (E, 46k)
rowing AU | enemies to lovers | university setting
Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.
🧶 Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor (E, 54k)
cabin fic | wintery vibes | only one bed
Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy.
🎩 Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58k)
holiday fic | fake relationship | mutual pining
Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed.
👮🏻‍♂️Rookie Moves by peu_a_peu (E, 75k)
auror partners | slow burn | humour
Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.
🖼️ where all the veins meet by @saxamophone (E, 146k)
sad bois | Grimmauld Place | found family | 8th year
It's the summer of 1998. The battle is over, and Voldemort is dead, but Harry still has more questions than answers. Who is he without a piece of Voldemort's soul in his head? What is he supposed to do now?
📼 Always Already by @aibidil (E, 170k)
time travel | forced proximity | mutual pining
Harry and Draco are perfectly fine, separately minding their business in 2004, when the Unspeakables conscript them into service... in the First War against Voldemort.
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roguefankc · 6 months
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It's Flu Season! And because Maverick would be the biggest baby if he got sick...
(Penny, Wolfman, Slider, Merlin, and Hollywood run though the front door of Iceman and Maverick house, with Iceman tiredly sitting on the couch in the living room)
Wolfman: Ice?! what's wrong?! We all got your message that you needed help!
Iceman: It's awful! The whole house is sick! First Hangman came down with the flu, then Phoenix, then Rooster, then Payback, and then all the rest of the Dagger Squad! I was running a sick ward all weekend!
Merlin:...wait, why isn't Maverick helping you?
Iceman (flatly): Because then came Monday...
(Maverick comes out in his bathrobe, hair tousled, pale, clammy, and half-asleep and in his hands a bottle of pills)
Maverick (whining): Ice, honey? Can you open the aspirin for me?
---
(The whole 80s Top Gun team and Penny stay to help Iceman run the house and take care of Maverick and the Dagger Squad)
(Maverick is in bed, weakly ringing a bell)
Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...
Slider (in the next room helping Coyote): Give me a minute.
Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...
Slider (in the next room): I said I'm coming!
Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...
(Slider rushes into Maverick's bedroom in a panic): What?! What?! What?!
Maverick (weakly): My pillow needs poofing.
Slider (eye twitching):...Mitchell, I don't think you want to put a pillow in my hands right now.
---
(Maverick is in bed, whining and gasping for breath)
Maverick (weakly): I'm dying, Hollywood. I'm giving up the ghost. Every cell in my being is crying out in anguish. It was a good life while it lasted, but this is it. Hello, Grim Reaper.
Hollywood (with a bottle of cough syrup and a spoon in his hands): Cut the bullshit. The medicine doesn't taste that bad.
Maverick (weakly):...Goose? Dad? Carol? Is that you?
---
(Maverick is in his bathrobe, still sick, and in Iceman's home office while Iceman is frantically typing away on his keyboard)
Maverick: Ice, sweetie? Can you heat up some chicken soup for me?
Iceman (stressed): Mav, sorry but I'm really busy right now! I need to approve this contract in twenty minutes! Can't you just fend for yourself?
Maverick (whining): But I'm sick, honey...
Iceman: Mav, for fuck's sake, we're not talking brain surgery! All you have to do is open a stupid can and dump it in a pot!
(Maverick disappears into the kitchen and then come back a minute later. In his hands is a pot, and in the pot is a can of chicken soup. The can is open but the contents of the soup are still inside the can)
Maverick: Now what?
Iceman:...now, we talk brain surgery.
---
(Maverick stumbles in the kitchen where Penny, Wolfman, and Merlin are making soup and orange juice for all the Dagger Squad)
Maverick: Is it time for my aspirin yet?
Wolfman: No, Mitchell.
Maverick: But my throat hurts...
Merlin: Maverick, go back to bed. It hasn't been four hours yet.
Maverick: But my head hurts! My joints hurt! My eyes hurt! My body hurts! (in a baby voice) My itty bitty widdle pinkies hurt!
(Penny sighs and opens the aspirin bottle)
Maverick (smirks): I knew I'd win with that one.
Penny: These aren't for you.
(Penny gives two pills to herself, Merlin, and Wolfman and they all gulp them down immediately)
---
(BONUS)
(Cyclone is back at headquarters in his office, feet on his desk with a small glass of bourbon)
Cyclone (smiling): What a peaceful, quiet day.
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captainwans · 3 months
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AM ERA! (smau)
— ALEX TURNER
arabella series
pairing: alex turner x fem! actress! reader
summary: some iconic and memorable moments on social media during the am era.
timeline: 2014
note: to clear up any confusion, the song arabella in this universe/series is based on a movie y/n did. + and also this format / layout is heavily inspired by my love @ithinkimokeei 🩶
masterlist!
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Liked by yourbestfriend, katiee_cook_ and others
yourinstagram she’s got a barbarella silver swimsuit … 🪽
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username THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ‼️
username doing cartwheels across the highway- 🤸‍♀️ why are they so attractive
username mom and dad looks so hot
breanahelders looking beautiful wifey 😙
yourinstagram got it from you <3
elizabetholsenofficial because i love waking up in the morning getting hit by visuals 😩
username lizzie is so real for that
username mother
username alex looks so fucking good i wanna jump off a cliff
username the fact that y/n didn’t know arabella was about her until a fan told her during a comic con panel will forever not be iconic
username lmao even the mcu cast was shocked that she didn’t know 😭
username had to replay that funny moment between y/n and scarlett where scar almost had a whiplash bc y/n had no idea
username our baby is so clueless it’s so cute
mileskane who’s that sexy cinnamon bun on the left? 😏
yourinstagram definitely not your man
username IM CACKLING SO LOUD
username pls y/n is so savage i love her
mileskane and you’re claiming him as your man?
username ohh dramaaaaa
yourinstagram and what if i did? 👀
username GASP- does this mean that alex and y/n are dating?!!!
mileskane it’s okay luv it’s just a phase it will go away ❤️
username hahaahahahahah miles
username i’m crying this is too funny
katiee_cook_ this comment section is so funny me and jamie are dying from laughter
yourinstagram mileskane unfortunately it is not just a phase 🥲
username wait y/n does this mean you and al are together?!! hello??
username girl you can’t just leave us hanging like that 😭😭 we NEED TO KNOW
username wait so arabella is actually about her?
yourbestfriend those of you who haven’t watched arabella clearly shows
username fr the song doesn’t even make sense if you haven’t watched the movie
username CAN SOMEONE PLS CONFIRM IF THEY’RE DATING??
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Liked by username, marvel and others
enews to answer the question on y/n’s famous instagram post… the answer is YES! (📷: unknown)
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username I KNEW IT
username IM CRYING HAPPY TEARS FINALLY
username idk if i wanna be him or be with her
yourbestfriend same
username y/bsf/n is so real for this
username they look so happy
username mileskane has been real quiet ever since enews posted
username i’m fine (i’m not)
username now who leaked these pictures of me and my man? 🤫
yourinstagram first miles and now i have to fight my way through fans 😭 this is a battle
mileskane yeah username get in line 🙄
username speaking of the devil… hi miles!!
username and he has arrived!!
username good luck dealing with seventeen year old girlies who want you dead 🥲
username bro what is marvel doing here liking this post i’m cackling
marvel don’t blame us we were just as curious as you folks 🙈
username alex could do better than this pretentious hollywood whore
username who are you calling a whore???!
yourbestfriend say that again i dare you bitch
breanahelders if you don’t have anything nice to say then keep it to yourself.
officialelizabetholsen jealousy doesn’t suit you honey. keep that energy elsewhere and let us celebrate this beautiful couple ✨
mileskane yourinstagram do i need to kill someone? just say the word love
username username the gang coming at your bitch
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Liked by breanahelders, yourfriend and others
yourinstagram okay… this is the last one i promise 🤭
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username queen we don’t mind post all you want
username THE HAND REPLACEMENT ALEX
username bi panic
katiee_cook_ obsessed 😍
yourinstagram with you 😙
username the way this music video has a chokehold on me-
youtube the visuals, artistry, lyrics, aesthetics, cinematography is just *chef kiss* ✨✨✨
username even youtube is speaking facts
officialelizabetholsen gorgeous gorgeous 💗 we miss you on set, babe!
yourinstagram miss you more, bug!! 🎀
username a match made in heaven
mileskane we get it you guys are couple goals 🙄
matthelders here we go again 🤦🏻
yourinstagram do i complain when you get to have him all by yourself on stage?
mileskane that doesn’t count!
yourinstagram you’re such a drama queen
username their dynamic i love them sm
username miles and y/n fighting over alex is so real bc same
username yourinstagram how does it feel to be a rockstar’s gf 😩 how does it feel to live our dream
yourinstagram it feels amazing 🙈💗
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yourheartonfire · 1 year
Text
The first sign something was wrong was when the hero opened the door without bothering to check the peephole. Or maybe that was the seventh or eighth sign, after the way the hero had disappeared and the terrible rumors going around and the silence from the Agency and - oh yeah - that dreadful beating they’d taken a month ago from Supervillain that was still being meme-ed and clipped and posted and reposted and -
All right. There were a lot of signs something was wrong, but the hero opening their door first and then their eyes going wide to see who was on their doorstep was the first sign that villain had personally witnessed that something was wrong.
“Nope,” the villain snapped. “Don’t like it.”
“What-” the hero managed to say before the villain’s hand closed around their throat and drove their nemesis backwards into their home, kicking the door shut behind them.
“Don’t like this look you’re giving me,” the villain said and slammed the hero into the wall.
The hero grabbed for their forearm, eyes dim in the gloomy dark. “And what look is that?” they hissed. 
“You should be looking at me with fear. Like, oh no! My death is coming!” the villain snarled back. They snapped one cuff around the hero’s wrist, spun them around. The hero staggered. Staggered! The villain huffed and shoved them into the wall again, this time face first, so they didn’t have to see those terrible sunken eyes in hero’s face. “Instead,” they murmured, clamping the second cuff on, “you look at me with relief. Like, oh yay! My death is coming!”
The hero let out a strangled noise not quite a laugh, half-muffled by the wallpaper. “Go on then,” they said. “Guess you won’t get what you want out of me.”
“Oh yes, I will.” The villain dragged the hero down the hall, shoved them onto the couch of their living room. It was a nice low couch, perfect for looming over. “I want you to suffer, hero. And if death is a release, well. I can work with that. Princess Bride or Pride or Prejudice?”
The hero blue screened - their weary defiance smashed into confusion. And, for the first time, a spark of the real hero’s curiosity. “Uh...”
“You want to die? Tough.” The villain grabbed the remote. Luckily the hero was a Luddite, it only took a few seconds to get the TV turned on and streaming services fired up. “Not only will you not be dying, tonight you’ll be subjected to the treacliest of manipulative schlock that Hollywood has to offer. Or are you more of a comedy...” They trailed as off as they opened the hero’s watch history. The hero winced. “I’m sorry. This seems to indicate your most watched movie over the past five years is Planes 2: Fire and Rescue?” 
“It’s actually really good,” the hero muttered.
“The sequel to the spin off of Pixar’s worst-?” The villain cut themselves off, jammed the play button. “Right. The instrument of your suffering has been chosen. And apparently my suffering too,” they muttered under their breath, plopping down on the couch next to the hero. “You got snacks?”
The hero was staring at them. Slowly they shook their head. “You’re a liar,” the villain grumbled and reached over them to grab their phone. “I’m ordering pizza and you’re paying for it. Why the hell is that airplane wearing literally a corn costume?”
“Watch the movie and find out,” the hero said. “Can you uncuff me now?”
“No,” the villain said, pulling the hero closer as they searched for the most expensive pizzeria in the neighborhood. “You’re being tortured. Shut up.”
The hero did. And if the villain noticed as the tension slowly left their nemesis’s shoulders, well, there was a terrible movie to distract them both.
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ferrstappen · 1 year
Note
ur Grammy piece is sosos good!!!! May I request a Charles x actress reader for the Oscar’s?? Thankuuuu
thank you so much 💘 I’ll write a small blurb since my phone is dying, but thanks for requesting! Requests are open (Charles, Lando, George, Max… whoever you want)
AND THE OSCAR GOES TO
“Are you sure you want me to walk the red carpet with you? It’s your moment,” Charles asked you, his girlfriend, while his stylist fixed his tie.
Yes, the stylist was a must-have if he wanted to go with you to awards ceremonies. Both your managers agreed, much to Charles’ dismay.
“Yes, please stop asking me,” you snapped a bit, but immediately realized. “I’m sorry, Char. I’m just so nervous I want to cry and throw up,”
“Please don’t” your make up artist said while studying your face for any flaw on his work.
Everything went by quickly, as a black SUV picked you up, Charles tightly holding your hand as the both of you were dressed by Valentino from head to toe. You were trapped on a line of the same cars, screams from reporters and photographers could be heard even two blocks away.
“Bebé, did you bring your speech?” Charles asked, watching you down a glass of champagne, courtesy of Hollywood lifestyle.
You gulped: “I didn’t write it,”
“What?!” Charles asked, his accent getting thicker while his voice raised. “Chérie, what if you go on stage and forget what to say? We should write something now,” he started patting his pockets, even though he knew he wasn’t carrying anything.
“Honey, we both now I’m probably not gonna win. What am I even doing in the same category as Angela Bassett? How am I supposed to look people in the eye after I lose?” You said and Charles noticed you were really hyperventilating.
“Okay, okay… look at me” he squeezed your hand and carefully placed his thumb and index fingers on your chin. “You can win or lose, and you’re still gonna be the best, it doesn’t matter if you win,” he softly kissed your lips. “Why is it named the Oscars, anyway? Who was Oscar?” You laughed loudly at his question.
“I have absolutely no idea” you answered and now it was his turn to laugh, leaving one last kiss on your glossed lips.
“Why is this burning?” He asked placing a finger on his lips.
“Oh shit, baby this is a lip plumper, I’m so sorry” you laughed as he pouted and tried to rub it of.
—————————
“Here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actress,” Pedro Pascal smiled to the audience while the nominees appeared on the screen. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), Women Talking”
You felt the camera on your face, but the only think you could focus on was Charles very tightly holding your hand, giving you his best smile, his eyes connecting with yours as the camera stopped focusing on the two of you for a couple of seconds
“I love you” he whispered, almost touching your lips as the attention returned to the presenter and the camera was on you again.
“And the Oscar goes to…”
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zvaigzdelasas · 4 months
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A teenager behind videos filmed onboard a ship being held by Houthi rebels in the Red Sea has called on the UK and US to "stop this war". Rashid al Haddad's social media videos include him being seen on the Galaxy Leader cargo ship, which was hijacked by the Houthi militant group last November.[...]
Rashid told Sky News he had been posting videos about his experiences to show "solidarity with Palestine". Through translation, he added: "My message is that they stop this war, and they reassess the situation in Palestine. "There are children starving, thirsty, dying under bombardment (in Gaza)... like a two-year-old child dying from bombardment. "Why? Because of the actions of the Zionists? "Yemen stood with Palestine, and was being bombarded for this solidarity, but this hasn't affected us and we will continue to stand by Palestine."
He said he considers himself a "media personality" - but his main mission is to "spread awareness" about Palestine.[...]
"All of the Yemeni people are with Ansar Allah and with Palestine, even if I appear with arms, all Yemenis carry arms - it's normal," he added.
22 Jan 24
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amulet-or-not · 10 months
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Ok so I watched rise of the titans and it was... An experience...
The things I loved/liked:
Children of the sun summoning the amulet sequence. It was pretty cool. But it's funny this is one of the things in this category since it was basically ripped straight out of the scene in 1x12. But I don't mind a little self plagiarism if it's satisfying
Toby actually being smart and having a part in the defeat of bellroc
Toby's last moments with Jim. Not to say I liked Toby dying that was fucking horrible but seeing Toby and Jim be close again was something that had been desperately absent for a few seasons. And the idea that Jim even after winning would sacrifice the entire world and take on the burden of going back into the past himself, just to save Toby is kinda sweet even if this movie didn't go in that direction. Cuz it just proves this boy would give up anything for his friends and that's one of his core qualities and why we all love him
The opening sequence on the subway. That was pretty excellent and raised the hype and allowed everyone an equal chance to shine
Aarrrgghh going batshit when Toby dies cuz mood
The taco truck with the little tune entering arcadia and all the government are like 'remove the barricades, let them through!!'
Jlaire was pretty cute in this movie, not the best it's ever been but y'know.
Douxie was pretty good throughout
The things I was ok/unsure about:
Ajas characterisation. I know a lot of people hated it in this movie but it wasn't the worst. She acted like a leader trying to protect two worlds of people, and that's entirely fair tbh. I didn't like how she doubted Jim but as she didn't know him that well especially as neither of them remember the events of d'aja vu it was kinda understandable. And I agreed that they did need a contingency evacuation plan
Krel. He was consistently good in this movie as usual but didn't get enough time to shine individually, same goes for blinky and aarrrgghh
Stricklake getting married was cute, however I didn't like how Barbara was used as a mouthpiece to mediate all of Jim's relationships with the older men in his life, i.e. when her and Jim talked it was either about strickler or James SR. and honestly that's just a disservice to Barbara's own character (and makes me realize that I doubt this movie passes the bechdel test)
The things I disliked:
Eli basically doing nothing all movie and being useless
Having Eli come back after a glow up for the sole purpose of having a moment where Steve is jealous and distrusting of his girlfriend. Actually no this can go in the hate category too ❤️
Jim saying 'i always wondered about dad' to his mom. The only reason this isn't in the hate category is bc it meant we actually spent time on the relationship between Jim and Barbara which is something that was sorely lacking in wizards tbh, and something that really made trollhunters shine. But what happened to 1x17's 'you know I don't care about my father'? Like what is this bfr
Toby being used as comic relief didn't bother me in this as much as in wizards cuz at least he got that important moment at the end but him saying 'moral support is the lamest superpower' what happened to the Toby that cherished supporting his friends and knew that his support was the greatest gift he could give to Jim and Claire just as their support was his greatest gift. Cuz that seemed like a key factor in earlier seasons imo. Also what happened to the Toby that started becoming confident in his abilities in earlier seasons of trollhunters?
The blatant Hollywood stereotyping. The kids kicking the football in Brazil and the fishermen in the South China sea, and then the bright neon lights of anywhere in east Asia at nighttime visual. It's not the worst but I'm tired tbh
The things that I absolutely fucking hated:
This shouldn't matter to me so much, but why when Jim went back into the past, did he wake up at 8.00 instead of 6.00? You could claim it was because it was cuz he was disoriented, but the time of his alarm should never have changed. If I remember that it said 6.00 on the alarm, and I haven't watched the first episode since probably 2018, the screenwriters should've too. It's just lazy. Or maybe it's symbolic of the fact that Jim only used to wake up at 6.00 to make his mom breakfast and all of them lunch, something which was a key part of his characterisation and clearly showed how much he cared for and loved the people around him - something which is very obviously no longer a part of his character since he allowed Steve to bully Eli and manipulated Toby into becoming the trollhunter. But idk. You choose
Nomura's characterisation?? First of all she just seemed ooc, like a stereotype version of herself for some reason. Secondly, her death. She died. In the sun. She's a changeling. The sloppiness of the writing team in keeping their facts straight is fucking astounding.
Stricklers death. Just for shock value and a play on emotions cuz it contributed nothing to the story. Same with nomuras. All it showed me is that the writing team were sitting around a table and someone goes 'you know we should kill off a few characters early on in the movie just to show this is a serious level threat'.
Pregnancy being used as a fucking joke. I wouldn't have necessarily minded the mpreg concept happening but the execution was just. Ugh. Steve being pregnant was treated as a joke and gross and just something to fill in time as comic relief, rather than what pregnancy actually is which is fucking hard work. It just seems like another extended misogyny-as-comic-relief trope again and Steve's character and everything was thrown down the drain
Toby Jim and Claire not having a group moment together. There was a scene somewhere in the movie where Claire was comforting Jim and I was wishing Toby was there too. If they're going to play the moral support joke with him at least have him be there when morals are at the lowest
Toby being stuck to the van. The treatment of his character in general throughout the last half of the franchise, he should've been given proper development as a character since trollhunters ended but fuck that I guess
Getting human Jim back was WASTED. Utterly wasted on this poor excuse for a movie. The peak of Jim's character arc was accepting himself in every form even when his humanity was stolen from him. The 'am I a hero without the amulet' in this and even the corruption storyline in wizards were both forced, particularly the former, as we'd already gone through that part of his arc in s2 (and it was one of the best arcs this franchise has produced frankly). It was really really apparent they couldn't think of anywhere to go with his character but still wanted to use him bc he remained the most popular. Fanfiction writers can and have done better. Fuck this movie
The lack of emotional maturity and depth between a lot of the characters honestly?? I really don't know how to explain this other than anytime this movie paused to have an emotional conversation or moment between two characters it seemed hollow and worthless because none of them were going through true important character arcs
I'm sure I have more things in this category but for now this is all I can think of. Might rb later with more if I can think of more things that really annoyed me :)) time to rewatch trollhunters s1 and remember how good this franchise used to be :))
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chronically-ghosted · 3 months
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you got your claws in me honey, like a tiger in love
rating: E for Explicit! 18+
word count: 8K
pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader
summary: you arrive at your estranged uncle's door. what else is there to do but catch up over grilled cheese? well, if you have anything to say about it, you might end up doing a bit more.
warnings: dbf!dieter, grilled cheese as a way to guilt trip your dad's best friend/uncle into fucking you, drug use (weed), raising arizona that comes with its own warning, flirting with someone twice your age, no smut — that’s what part 2 is for, reminiscing, a cliffhanger? 👀
a/n: the original fic came out MONTHS before the mcu rumors, so either i have precognition, or the apocalypse is becoming predicable. happy valentine's day you filthy animals because nothing says romance like porking your dad's best friend
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From the voicemail of Mr. Paul Landeau, official Hollywood talent manager and agent to one Mr. Dieter Bravo . . .
Tuesday, 6:43PM
No, I’m not doing it. I’m not. 
There has to be something else out there. Look, I know Fire Monsters: A Cliff Beasts story didn’t do as well as we hoped, but Reddit says it could be a cult classic so why don’t you focus on making that happen, okay? Instead of giving me shit roles like this. I’m not doing it. 
– the sound of a door opening and the phone being shuffled – – a zipper rips –  – liquid pouring –
We fucking talked about this, man. I told you I needed something different, something new. Tiktok is just reels of me screaming and dying – it’s fucking bullshit – 
– more liquid –
I’m done playing the fucking bad guy. I’m not signing any more headless action figures for those little snot-nosed, little fuckers in line. I’m not asking to sign their moms’ tits, either – okay, maybe – but Jesus Christ, Paul, what you sent over is, like, the opposite of where I need to be. It’s for little teeny boppers with one or two B horror movies under their belt to finally break out into the mainstream – or where actors over forty go to cash in an easy paycheck. And yes, I fucking know we need something, but fuck – is this really all there is?
– liquid stops pouring – – zipper rips – – the sound of a toilet flushing –
Don’t fucking call me back, Paul, unless you’ve got something. Something real.
Tuesday, 8:23PM
OW! Motherf–
– a skillet clattering – 
Okay – fuck, that hurts – okay, Paul, what about this? It came to me in the bathroom. Remember Jack from the Christmas party at the studio’s place? So, he’s got those two Sundance films, right, but they’re in Spanish, so not appealing to an American audience. Nicki told me that he’s thinking about doing another project, one with a wider appeal, and I’m thinking I should totally give him a call. I think we could vibe. I really liked his stuff – reminded me of my old small town, fucking around with the neighbor kids, you know? Kinda hometown hero sort of thing. 
– sharp inhale then a cough – 
It’s not my usual thing, but I think we should give it a try. Gimme a call. 
Oh, do you know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich? Been craving one but I think I might burn down my house if I try again and UberEats doesn’t reach the good places further south. Oh, fuck, wait – 
Hey Google, how do you make a fucking excellent grilled cheese?
Tuesday, 9:21PM
No, fucking– 
Siri – how.do.you.treat.a.burn? 
Calling. . . Burger King . . .
No! Fuck!
Tuesday, 10:49PM
Paul-y! Baby! Paul-ito!
Don’t worry. I got an idea that’s going to make us a million dollars. 
A shop that makes only grilled cheese. But like – fancy grilled cheese. What do the kids fucking call it, ah – boogie – yeah, boogie grilled cheese. Like gouda and white cheddar, and butter churned by blind nuns or some shit. Tomato soups that have been blessed by the Dalai Lama. 
Big sign out front that says, Vegans Can Eat Shit. 
They’ll eat it up. 
Fuck yeah, they will. 
– silence for three minutes and sixteen seconds –
Fuck acting, man. Fuck this place. 
And fuck this fucking cheese that keeps burning – goddamn it!
Tuesday, 11:52PM
Paul, why don’t we hang out anymore?
When I got started, we hung out all the time, man. 
Hot dogs on the Santa Monica pier. Beer in the Pacific Ocean. 
You showed me all the cool spots that no one else in LA knew about. You got me my first bump and my first stripper. God, that was fucking wild, man, you remember? I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. Did I ever tell you that before? Coke probably didn’t help a kid from a small town in South Cali, but – fuck, it made me feel better. Like I could get my shit together if I really tried.  
What, are you too good for me now – is that it? Am I not good enough for you, huh? 
Look, I’ve got Raising Arizona on right now, so why don’t you come over with a six pack – 
Oh, shit, that’s right. You got a fucking family now. 
Not a good influence, ol’ Dee. 
Not a good –
 
Wednesday, 1:05AM
Fine, Paul. Fine. 
I’ll play Mr. Fantastic in the Fantastic Four reboot. 
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Dieter’s thumb brushes the red End Call button and tosses his phone onto the kitchen island with a growl. He can feel himself coming down from the bump earlier – a thing he absolutely did not want to happen – and he shoves his palms into his eye sockets. 
There is more coke upstairs, but that would require him to walk through his very long hallways to get there. Very long, and dark, and empty hallways. 
He should have asked Maria to stay once she was done with the laundry. He would have done it right too – big bowl of popcorn, fully dressed, with a sign around his neck that said, I promise I’m not trying to sleep with you. 
He is becoming increasingly aware of how many erratic voicemails he just left for his agent, aware that behavior like that was libel to get him a sit down in Paul’s office with all the blinds and windows closed, Paul’s narrow face serious and using Concerned Emotion #5, as he asks, “do we need to go back to rehab, Dieter?”
We. 
There once was a “we”, now there was just “he” – in a house with seven bedrooms and a pool that could fit a sixteen wheeler in it. 
And TWO kitchens – why the fuck did he think he needed two kitchens – 
Well, he knew he didn’t need two, but it would have been cool to show them off to someone – If there was anyone to show them off to . . .
Fuck this downer mood.
Dieter snatches up his phone again, and the movement brings up his latest apps. UberEats is the second one. He taps in a few keywords, blatantly ignoring his latest call list. 
Goddamn Burger King . . . 
The front doorbell rings. 
Dieter frowns, pulling the screen closer under his big nose. Now, he knows he is high and he knows he should be wearing his glasses when reading but there’s no fucking way . . .
He goes out of the kitchen, the room still smelling of burnt cheese with the cast iron skillet in the sink and a black husk sticking to its bottom. He goes left, then right, his robe tightly wrapped around him as if he is some huffy housewife, then down a hall and across the marble entrance way – fuming – why is this house so goddamn huge – who thought this was a good idea?
And so he wrenches open the front door – to a girl, not holding a Burger King bag. No, she’s got a roller suitcase behind her, bright blue, and she and the case are dripping wet. Like, just sprayed with a hose kind of wet and her big bottom lip is trembling. Behind her, the sky pukes buckets of rain, groaning with thunder. 
Now, he likes his call girls (he always thought it was classier to call them that) a little more . . . vampy than this, but hell, he had been turned on by much less than this— than her with her big eyes, fat droplets rolling off her lashes, flushed cheeks – and oh, shit, her shirt is totally see-through – is that purple, he feels the back of his mouth flush with spit – wow, is this Paul’s way of apology because – 
“Uncle Dee?” 
And he’s mentally shoving himself back into his pants because no one in years has called him that and that was a very different time in place, when he was a completely different person and if this girl is the person he thinks it is, then – Jesus Christ, he’s bound and gagged straight for hell – 
He squeaks out your name and you smile, sort of grimace, at him and wave. 
“Yep, it’s me. Been awhile, right?” You finally give into the mortification of your stupid plan and you scrunch up your face, your hand wrapped around your elbow. “Look, I’m so sorry, this is too weird. I don’t have your number, but I panicked when my flight got canceled and my phone’s dead and you’re the only person I know in LA and –,” 
“No, no – you’re fine – sorry–,” Dieter blinks before stepping back and letting you through. You sigh in relief and yank your baby blue suitcase over the threshold as you walk in, dripping water everywhere. “Sorry, it’s been a weird night and for, like, two seconds, I thought . . . nevermind . . .”
I thought you were a fucking ghost.
You bite the corner of your lip, glancing at him, knowing it was probably unwise to piss off your one chance at not sleeping on the ground tonight — or if what you were about to say would piss him off in the first place. 
“Yeah, well, it’s been eleven years since we last saw you, Uncle Dee.” 
Early on in his career, he wanted to build up rep as not only an actor but a real tough guy, so he asked if he could do some stunts for an old cop show. For all his bravado, he ended up getting a real round-house kick to the face and it sent him reeling.
This feels a little bit like that.
“No way, it can’t have been that long. Besides, I know I left my number with your dad or your grandma before I left and —,” 
His throat closes up when very old guilt washes over him. It’s intensified when you give him an uncomfortable look.
“So your dad didn’t give you my number then.”
It’s not a question. You shake your head. You don’t tell him that your dad tried to call years ago and got a busy tone for the first few, and then a few years after that, was brusquely informed the line had been disconnected. 
He chews on his lip. 
You try to smile at him again but then another shiver takes hold of you and Dieter grimaces. “Shit, sorry, one second. I think this closet down here has towels.” 
He all but sprint-walks down one of the many halls branching off from the entrance, the ends of his robes flapping. You hear the creak of doors, several, as he digs around in the walls. 
“Why do I have so many fucking linens?” You hear him grumble and you smile to yourself. You feel like you need to wring your hair out but wouldn’t dare move from the spot where he left you.
After a thump and more grumbling, he comes back, rubbing the back of his head, but holding out a giant lime green towel. In the light, you can see the dark circles under his eyes when you take the towel and immediately go to stop your hair from dripping on the marble.
His brain is waffling, ping ponging, between his memories and what is standing right in front of him. This? This is the little girl, not his literal blood relative, but she’s Enrico’s kid – Enrico, a slugger and one hell of a outfielder since he was eight years old, whose mom made enchiladas like nobody else in the goddamn world – Enrico, whose house became like a second home, Ricky's family a better family than his own – this is the same girl who hoarded Skittles like a fiend, the same one who he took to the pool on the weekends in the summer, and the zoo during Thanksgiving break? This little girl – 
– is the same girl who is all legs under damp denim, eyes that could make Cleopatra fly into a jealous rage, and a fucking rockstar smile? 
And, holy shit, those tits –  
Dude, you cannot be checking her out. Dig deep and fight your fucking caveman brain. You’ve fucked up a lot in your life and you cannot do that right now. You cannot do that to Enrico. 
You cannot do that to her.
You notice him grimace as he squints into the light of the chandelier above you both. “So, uh, not that I mind, but, uh, what are you doing here? I mean –,” 
You laugh and it seems to echo in the empty house. “No, that’s a fair question. I was on a flight back from looking at colleges out east and my flight got grounded in LAX because of the storm. I absolutely don’t have enough money to stay in a hotel or rent a car and drive back home, so I needed a place to crash and call my sister to send me some money. And my stupid driver didn’t want to get flagged for harassing a celebrity, so he dropped me off at the corner, hence . . .”
You wave at yourself and inside his slippers, his toes curl, respectfully not looking at your damp legs and a definitely purple bra visible through your shirt. 
Your mouth suddenly capsizes. “Shit, is that okay, if I stay here for a night? I didn’t even think - I - I’m not . . . interrupting anything, am I?” 
Dieter chuckles, your expression undeniably cute, and he shoves his hands into the pockets of his robe. 
“Nah. Not unless you call making the worst grilled cheese imaginable a party.” 
At that moment, your stomach chooses to make the most aggressive growl in your entire life and you flush deeper than the cold outside. 
“Apparently someone thinks that’s a good idea,” you chuckle weakly, horrified that your body is actively trying to sabotage a normal conversation. 
Did it matter that you had posters of him in your bedroom when you were thirteen? That you went to midnight releases of every one of his movies? 
No. Not at all. 
“I got some food, mostly leftovers.” He worries at his lip as he realizes the only thing by way of something green in his fridge is the jar of olives he got for martinis. Even then, he has a sneaking suspicion he replaced the olive juice with vodka, but the memory of that night is entirely butchered. “But, uh, I’m sure we can find something.”
You smile at him. “Actually, grilled cheese sounds great.” 
“Only if you do it.” He smiles, honestly, when you laugh. “What? Don’t laugh — I’m serious. I can’t make a sandwich to save my fucking life.” 
“Pretty sure I can manage two slices of bread and cheese.” 
His eyebrows jump as his lips press themselves together and you watch the thumb-sized bare spot on his beard twitch.
“Yeah, that’s what you think and then your goddamn kitchen is on fire.” 
“Lemme change, do some rocket surgery and brain science, and then I’ll attempt to crack this grilled cheese thing.” 
“Okay, but remember we do have Chinese leftovers and I can definitely crush a microwave. This way.” 
You follow him through the halls, his shoulders loosening underneath the off-green fuzz, and you try and not to stare at the immaculately beautiful walls and expansive, clean floors, so your eyes wander, and then you’re trying not to stare at the immaculately beautiful man in front of you. 
You push away the thought that this house looks nothing like you’d expect someone like Dieter to have, as he leads you to the kitchen — all black and chrome and steel, like what a Norwegian serial killer would have — and nods to a door towards the opposite wall. He’s digging around for the last slices of white bread when he says,
“Bathroom’s down there. I’ll get it all ready, but I’m leaving it up to you. Can’t afford to lose another pan.” 
Your eyes finally drift down from the bare walls, unsure if you should be offended that nothing of the family back home is here, or accept that there was just nothing personal anywhere. You smile gently at him and nod in thanks. 
He watches you go, that bright blue suitcase flashing as loud as a tornado siren, and he shakes his head. God, he needs a drink but drinking also makes him horny and he needs every mental facility available to him if he wis going to make it through this night with his sanity still intact. 
Had it really been eleven years? He always meant to call up Enrico and the old neighborhood gang. He probably forgot about that last fight anyway – even if Dieter hadn’t – even if it wasn’t more than a decade ago. Mama Gonzales always said there’d be a place for him, even after his own father said acting was for maricos and drag queens. It always hurt more when the postcards from the Gonzales family stopped coming than when Mom stopped calling. And he always meant to send back a proper return address when he moved out of that crappy loft after his first real movie premiere but that was the 90s, and much of the 90s was spent between working shit jobs and drooling on the floors of rave warehouses. It wasn’t them specifically he didn’t want to see him like that, but anyone. Anyone who knew him before Dieter Bravo. 
Certainly not anyone who called him Uncle Dee —
Something flashes in the corner of his eye and he realizes he’s always fucking hated the fact that the a) the back of his house is just one big window and b) he never bothered to put in curtains. Because, the thing with windows is they reflect things — things like his pseudo-niece taking her top off in his guest bathroom. Reflected and in full color right across his kitchen island like the sexiest hologram that will haunt his fucking wet dreams until the day hell freezes over. 
Yep, that’s definitely your hips, your ribs, and okay—
Nope. Absolutely not. 
Dieter’s knees give out and he crouches (more like slumps) to the floor behind the island, his palms so far in his eye sockets he can only see stars.
Yeah, only stars. Focus on the stars, not the image of the curve of your gorgeous tits that’s running around his brain like a child with scissors and a Thanatos instinct off the fucking charts. 
Fuck, and he just wanted to get high and watch Nicholas Cage in a mullet. 
“Hey, I’m done. Dee, you still here?”
He stifles a groan and stands up. You smile at him, the wet jeans and agonizing white tank top gone, only to be replaced by a black Fleetwood Mac tshirt and — fuck, where are your pants?
You lower the handle to your suitcase and go to stow by the bathroom door. And that’s when he realizes you are actually wearing pants, black shorts that are practically hidden by the oversized t-shirt and are comically, hilariously, painfully small. He can’t actually see the curve of your ass as you walk around the side of the island but he is absolutely not going to let his gaze linger long enough to confirm. 
He clears his throat as you come to stand beside him. He gestures to the four pieces of white bread and a stack of Crafts American cheese. 
“H-h-have —,” he clears his throat again and his forebearers groan collectively in embarrassment. “Have at it.” 
You smile and tuck your hair over your ear before picking up the knife. 
“D’you have mayonnaise? Butter?”  
No amount of irredeemable hotness can distract him from that. “What? What do you need mayonnaise for? It’s grilled cheese.”
You cluck your tongue, an eyebrow raised. “Brain science and rocket surgery, remember? Don’t question the master.”
He can’t help but chuckle as he goes to his steel monolith of a fridge. 
“Jeez, sorry, I asked,” he grumbles playfully.
He comes back with an (thankfully) unexpired jar and tub of butter and you get to work. Silence stretches a bit too long, something Dieter has never been good with, especially with beautiful women. He loves running his mouth and sometimes he's found that the women liked it too. He resigns himself to sit across from you at the island, watching you spread mayonnaise on both sides of the bread. 
“So, uh, how are the folks? How’s your, uh, dad?”
You nod slowly and even though he hasn’t been around in eleven years to pick up on all your tells, he swears your hackles go up.
“Fine. All good. Dad’s still at the car repair shop — owns it now, actually. Makes decent money, I guess.” 
“You guess?” He hadn’t made it his life’s work to mimic the human condition to not recognize cagey language. 
You glance at him briefly before flipping over the last piece of bread and dropping a dollop of mayonnaise on top. 
“Yeah. I — uh, we haven’t — I actually haven’t talked to them in a while. Though if I had, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.” You sneak another glance, this one ladened with a smile that had a secret curled up in its corners. “Serves me right, probably.”
“Yeah. Probably.” 
He can’t help but return the smile, one of a familiarity he hasn’t earned yet. You were smiling at him as if you two had years of secrets together, memories and inside jokes that were for the pair of you alone. For the life of him and all the water in his ridiculous pool, he couldn’t fathom why you were being so nice to him. Letting him off the hook. It had been eleven fucking years after all. There are a lot of things he takes guilt free from the world. Your fucking star-eyed smile is not one of them. 
So, he lets you off the hook. He doesn’t push it. If you don’t want to talk about your folks, he is happy to chatter aimlessly about something else. But, his brain winds up, what happened that caused you to fall out with your parents? Enrico, even back then, had been a hard ass, with you and your brothers. Always made sure to walk the straight and narrow. Detested drugs, always shined his shoes, thought tattoos were the devil, never kissed a girl on the first date — 
And here you are, making fucking mooneyes at his daughter. 
Well, one thing was for sure, he muses, something warm spreading in his gut, you are nothing like your daddy. 
The hiss of the bread hitting the hot butter in a pan (you didn’t even need to ask where another pan was, you just helped yourself to his cabinets and he couldn’t have been more proud) jerks him out of his daze and he realizes that annoying silence has set in again. 
“So, colleges, huh? Anything in particular spark interest?” 
You nod excitedly as he found a topic that made you glow. Clearly, no one had asked about your interests in a long time.
“Yeah, actually. Emerson in Boston was amazing. I loved the city, but not sure I’d survive the winter. Swarthmore sounds good, Amherst too, but again, cold.” You grin sheepishly and flip the sandwiches, pressing the spatula (he didn’t even know he owned one of those) into the bread, making the butter sizzle and the air fill with a smell that can only be described as mouth-watering. 
“It’ll be a nightmare, taking out loans for those places, but fuck, I think I’d be really happy there.” 
He leans against the counter, facing you with crossed arms. He smiles a smile that he knows doesn’t reach his eyes.
“What, your folks wouldn’t pay for it? Or at least help out?”
Something sharp flashes in your eyes, like a rabbit catching the scent of a predator, before you shrug your shoulders flippantly. A well-worn deflection, he notes, right next to the place where he’s got all the places you mentioned are about as far away from California as possible. If you had mentioned somewhere in Europe, he wouldn’t have been surprised. 
“Nah. I wouldn’t let them. Don’t want them thinking they get input into my life because they hold the purse strings over my head.” You turn off the stove and he moves to get the plates out from the cabinets – something to contribute as you made him a better meal than he’s had in ages. 
“So, uh, we eat in there?” You glance down the hall to the eerily clean dining room, a place he’s pretty sure he’s never once set foot in after three years of living in this goddamn mansion. 
He chuckles and shakes his head. “C’mon, I already have a movie picked out.” 
You follow him, plates hot, down carpeted stairs to clearly the only room in the house that Dieter actually lives in. The lights down here are low, much more bearable than the white spotlights of the kitchen. Against one wall, there’s a fully stocked bar, with most of the alcohol halfway empty and costing a fortune. Across from the stairs is a massive record collection, going up to the ceiling, next to a gorgeous old record player — all wood and black vinyl — with big, plushy earphones curled up on a black leather recliner. 
But the star of the show is the wall-to-ceiling television, with a brown, mouse-soft leather sofa that wraps like a giddy, up-turned grin in front of it. 
And of course, in between the superstar television and the cozy couch, is a low glass table where he had snorted lines of coke more times he could count and where a virgin joint sits, unsmoked and tempting. 
Dieter flushes as though he’d been caught by his parents with his pants down around his ankles. 
“Fuck, sorry–,” he rushes over, the plate clattering with the glass, and he reaches for the joint, ready to squish it into his pocket when– 
You laugh. “Relax, Dee, I know what a joint is. In fact, we are very well acquainted.”
You fold yourself into the couch, legs crossed, grinning at him as you bite into your sandwich. 
He swallows, unclenching slightly as he sits down next to you. He watches you eat for a moment, trying to think of something cool to say.
“Sounds like I’ve missed my calling as the fun uncle, getting you high for the first time and all that.” 
You snort and swallow your mouthful. “Yeah, by like two fucking years.” 
“Oh, what a fucking lifetime. You poor thing,” he says, pouting dramatically and you giggle again, bumping into his shoulder. It sends his sanity knocking around in his brain. 
You don’t notice, though, your eyes falling to the joint in the small ceramic bowl. The smile slides from your face. 
“Well, you might have missed my first joint, but I’d be more than happy to take this one as my next.”
His eyebrows practically bounce off his forehead. “You’re serious?” 
Your eyes slide away from the joint to his, something distractingly dark hiding there. “I mean, if the parties on your Instagram are anything to go by . . . And, well, when in Rome . . .”
You trail off, smirking, gesturing around you as if you had any idea the levels of debauchery that were obtained in this very room. Come to think of it, he halfway considers picking you up off the couch and putting a towel down underneath your perfect ass. 
This is how it went sometimes, with the slower hook ups. No wet clothes, or grilled cheese, or bringing up family trauma — but initial touches, curling smiles, and then drugs. Always drugs. As if there needed to be another hand that tore off the cap of the pressurized, fizzy soda bottle. He’d play music then, for them, to show off his vinyl collection and have a plausible reason to rub his dick between their ass cheeks while dancing slowly to something croon-y from the seventies. 
Not that any of that would be happening with you. 
He wasn’t a complete monster after all. 
With a playful grin that he had mastered over many press junkets, he snatches up the joint and lighter, and presents both to you in the flat of his hand. 
“First hit goes to you, since you were so kind to make dinner for an old fuck like me.” 
You snort and put your plate onto the table, wiping your hands free of crumbs on your black shirt. 
“Such a gentleman.” 
With deft and practiced hands, you take the joint between your index finger and your thumb, and sparking the lighter, brought the flame to your lips. 
Just for one second, one goddamn second, he swears he saw The Look reflected in your eyes. He glances away, his cock fluttering awake like goddamn Lassy hearing the calls of another well-begotten child. He picks up his own plate.
“Hardly. It was all a ploy to get you to admit you follow me on Instagram.”
You burst out coughing, smoke chugging from your nose and mouth. “Dieter!”
He cackles, his tongue between his teeth, as you shove him away from you — do not think about her fingers clenched around your bicep —  try to sit up and inhale again. You hang your head and groan. 
“Fuck, I can’t believe I said that.” 
“Yeah, and for that, I get two puffs,” he says out of the corner of his mouth, the rest of it full of the most perfectly cooked grilled cheese sandwich he’d ever had. He finishes chewing and swallows. “Hand it over, princess.” 
You hand over the lighter and the joint, the paper slightly greasy from your fingers, leaning back dramatically into one of the many plushy cup holder seats spread out along the very long couch. 
He chuckles devilishly again, far too satisfied, as he lights up and leans back into the cushions. 
“And, as gesture of goodwill, I’ll admit that’s a good fucking grilled cheese.” 
Your eyes snap open and a wide grin splits your face. “Hell yes! Mayonnaise on both sides, butter on the side with cheese. Best family recipe. Mwah!”
“Fuck, even I know that’s too much cholesterol for me,” he grunts and digs into the cushions, feeling around for the remote. 
“Well, that’s not enough cholesterol for me,” you wink as you take the joint from the hand on his thigh, eyes daring you to do something about it. Nowhere near high enough to take the bait, he just narrows his eyes at you as he clicks the button and the entertainment system comes to life with a primordial hum. 
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, eyes wide, as the speakers roar and the lights dim further and the screen glows, “it’s like I’m in a fucking movie theater . . . in space.”
“It’s great, right?” Dieter moans like a loving father over his first child. This thing is his pride and joy, the only thing he could stomach in this goddamn house.
The DVD buffer for Raising Arizona begins and you squeal quietly, sliding onto your back, the joint dangling between your lips. 
“No fucking way, I love this movie.” 
Dieter stilled. “Really? You do?” 
The few times he felt nostalgic for his old life — his old, old life when he was still a kid from nowhere, a nobody, you couldn’t pick him out of a line up of his sweaty, grubby cousins when they were all cobbled together like crooked teeth in front of Abuela Josefina’s television that still had knobs and bunny ears to watch movie after movie of Nicholas Cage reruns. Even with knees in his back, elbows in his ears, Dieter could quote every single line, his heart swelling.
That’s gonna be me some day. 
“This movie is from, like, another century,” he mutters as he watches you settle in, something sickening like adoration clawing up in his chest. 
“Yeah and it’s great,” you say eagerly, ignoring the way he plucks the joint out of your fingers. “Put it on!” 
He resolutely ignores the pinch in his low stomach at your almost whine and presseS the play button with a little more force than necessary. Then, balancing the joint on the ceramic bowl, he sticks his fingers into his robe, pulls out his glasses, and puts them on without a second thought – just as he always did when watching movies. 
It is only when he realizes he doesn’t hear you breathing that he realizes what he has done. Slowly he pulls the square glasses off his face and looks at them, feeling as disgusted as the day his doctor put them in his hands. 
Near-sighted. Very common. Happens when people as they age.
“Got ‘em–,” his throat closes again, “got ‘em a few years ago. Only have to wear ‘em to see things up close and, uh . . . Well, I think they make me look old as shit.” 
He can’t quite look at you, unsure what he’ll see on your face and knowing for sure that he couldn’t stand it if it wasn’t the way you look at him before. If you just would tease him about it, then —
“No,” you say, your voice very soft and small. His heart nearly punches out his throat, his neck nearly snapping in half as his head whips up to look at you. You sit up on your elbows, the darkness of the room cushioning your soft cheeks and muting the glaze in your eyes as you watch him over the bend of your knees. 
“Nah,” you say, your nose scrunching, the weight of the high clearly settling into your skin, “they make you look . . . Uh, they’re cute.” 
Dieter sucks in the side of his cheek, nodding slowly and sliding the glasses back over his nose. Cute, he could work with that. 
“Jeez, would you start the movie already?” You poke his side with your toe. He doesn’t need to look at you to hear the faint blush in your voice. 
He turns the volume up and crosses his arms, smiling faintly. You’re warm next to him, he thinks vaguely, his own high finally starting to sink into his bones. 
Cute. Definitely not a word he’s going to obsess over. 
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The movie goes on. 
Nicholas Cage is Nicholas Cage with a mullet.
Your laugh is the clattering of bells in his ears and he can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard his sides hurt. 
He’s coming up from bent over, knees almost to his chest, laughter nearly popping his ribs, when he realizes your feet are in his lap. The arches of your soles, the delicate bones of your ankles, the long smooth planes that run up to your gorgeous calves— 
They are there, in his lap, and you don’t seem to mind. Head turned towards the screen, face bright from laughing, your arm arched back over your head, pressing your chest up —  it’s like you meant for them to be there. 
It’s just one hand, right? Two at the most. Just putting his hands down where he had them a moment ago. Up and — down. 
You don't flinch. His palm is on the arched top of your foot, the other just above your other ankle. 
You do smile, but that might have been because of Nicholas Cage raging again. 
And then, during another bout of giggles, he clutches your shin bone, wraps his fingers around your heel, and laughs and laughs and laughs. 
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You wipe the tears away from your eyes, the end credits rolling.
“Fuck, that’s a such a good movie.” 
He swallows, swiping quickly under his glasses before taking them off and chucking them onto the table in front. 
“You’re fucking right it is,” he says hoarsely, leaning forward and plucking up the last of the joint. He inhales, letting the smoke ease stifle the tears in the corner of his eyes, gulping down a breath before offering it to you.
You take it, distracted, eyes on the credits, the light from the screen glowing on your cheeks. 
He presses up under your ankle with his middle finger. “What? You knew what was gonna happen, you’d said you’d seen it before.”  
You nodded, still not looking at him. 
He goes for a more direct approach. He pinches your calf, and you scowl, the light back in your eyes.
“What are you thinking about?” He asks, a bit sharply. He’s not nearly done having fun with you, not nearly. You take another sip of smoke before setting the joint back on the table. 
You huff, settling onto your back, pinching at your nails. 
“Just . . . Nothing, it’s stupid.”
Dieter hums. He knows when to let him come to you. He taps the arch of your foot.
“How are you feeling?” His gaze nudges the joint on the table. 
You grin. “Really good. Tingly. Warm. Like everything else is a million miles away.” 
Just the two of us. 
“Enough to tell ol’ Uncle Dee what’s on your mind?”
You roll your eyes and sit up a bit, yanking a pillow behind you. 
“Just thinkin’ about the old days, I guess.” You glance up at him from under your eyes. “Not in a bad way. At all. I just . . .”
“What?” If you gave him hell for the last eleven years, then fuck it, he deserved it. He pulls at your ankle. “What?” 
With a big sigh, you lean back, something finally breaking and, with it, comes a great big smile. 
“Okay, remember when you’d put on those plays with the rest of us kids during those super lame family reunions o-o-or Christmas? Marissa would have everything written out, all the cousins cast and you’d beg her to let you play – fucking – Bear Number 5 or something ridiculous – and she’d fight you on it but she’d relent, always putting on a show of her own – as if a ten year old could be put out like that.” You giggled, biting on your thumb, a sparkling in your eyes that made something in his chest burn. 
Yes, he remembers the incredibly stupid fuzzy ears and the bear claw mittens. The fake roaring. TMZ would have a fucking stroke if those pictures of him, baby-faced, were to ever surface online. He smiles at you and basks in the warmth of those memories, his high making them brighter. 
“I think it would have crushed her little heart if you didn’t ask,” you said, heavy-lidded eyes on you again. “I know it broke her when you stopped showing up at all.” 
His heart actually pinches at that. He knows you’re not scolding him but fuck, maybe he’d feel better if you did. What a fucking idiot he was, for leaving all of that for empty mansions and meals from UberEats and all this fucking gunked up shit in his veins that made him feel older and older every year. Like he was chasing something that was never real in the first place. 
“Look, honey,” the pet name is out of his mouth before he can stop it. He’s twisting towards you, both hands under your calves now. “I should have called. Should have made sure that at least you knew where to find me, even if things between your dad and I were fucked.”
“Oh, God, Dee, no. I don’t blame you. I don’t even blame my dad, sometimes. You just were very different people. He’s fine living his life in the same small ass town in the middle of nowhere. But you weren’t. And, fuck . . . I’m not either.”
He frowns. You bite your lip and continue.
“You know, I thought about following you out to Hollywood. Because of those plays. I had the best fucking time doing them and Hollywood didn’t seem so scary . . . with Uncle Dee out here. But, uh, I dunno. I grew up, I guess. Figured I was better at telling stories than performing them. I just knew I didn’t want to end up like my dad. Dying where I lived. Unremembered.” 
His gut doubles in on itself. Please don’t say you gave up your dreams because I stopped calling. 
“Do you still think about acting?” He asks quietly, trying to fight the faint ringing in his ears. 
“Oh God, no,” you wave your hands, dusting away his near-panic that he’d somehow ruined your life. “I really do prefer writing stories, even if they exist only within the pages of a book. Or a really bad pamphlet, once or twice. I tried to continue the plays at home for a few years, after you left and Marissa took up cheerleading and thought she was too old to play with her little cousins anymore. But it just wasn’t the same without her. Or you.” 
He realizes all too late that he can feel your pulse under your ankle. Strong. Pounding. Pounding, hard. Like you’re nervous. So struck by the notion that he can feel something so personal of yours, the smoke trapped in his brain lifts only slightly when he catches your eyes looking somewhere you absolutely should not be. 
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck, he knows that look. You blink at him, then your gaze slowly slides down, down to his crotch, as smoothly you can beneath the weight of the smoke in your brain and he battles between the desire to throw your legs off him or pull you underneath him.
It’s The Look. 
Men, women, it didn’t matter. The look was the same.
When the possibility of sex first enters their mind, when that first bloom of lust rushes down their spine and the memory of the physical exertion of fucking – all the panting and the heavy breathing, aching muscles and sweat – comes back, as real as a song stuck in your head. When that spark of imagination threatens to sway from the hypothetical to the actual, it’s a look he knows so fucking well, he might as well be able to carve it from clay, blind-folded. 
And you’re giving it to him, right now. 
You haven’t really thought about seducing him yet, no, that part hasn’t crossed your mind yet. But you definitely are imagining what his cock would feel like inside you, and you and your imagination and your wide-eyed gaze at his lap all whole-heartedly agreed: that would be a great fucking thing. 
You, on your elbows, your heel dangerously close to his half-hard cock, the glaze in your eyes having something to do with what you were so shamelessly picturing, and your short breath having everything to do with what you were so shamelessly picturing.
He was quite sure you were completely unaware of the expression your face was making. Eyes hooded, mouth parted, breath short. Masking your emotions and filthy thoughts is a skill set mastered later in life and perhaps the last time you looked at someone like that, they simply bent you over the nearest surface and railed you till your knees buckled. 
What a fucking excellent idea, his libido trilled. Now get off the couch and do something about it. I’m foaming at the fucking mouth here, man. 
Dieter silences his inner horny monster, unintentionally squeezing his hand, the one that happens to be wrapped around your calf. 
The movement seems to break you out of your dizzying spiral and you blink up at him.
He swallows. With a half smirk on the edge of your lips that you try to not let him see, you take your feet out of his lap, then reach forward, your palm alarmingly high on his thigh as you take the joint from his fingers. Your eyes flash like warning signs.
DANGER. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON. DANGER.
“So, you gonna give me a tour of this place or what?”
End of Part 1 | Next
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lazybakerart · 1 year
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a cute harringrove thing for you: billy being in the middle of trying to do something but he keeps shaking away bits of hair that get into his eyes and steve just comes up behind him, puts his hair into a bun, then casually goes back to where he was while billy's stunned and blushing before he returns to his task with a big grin on his face
The AC's out.
Billy's cracked the unit open with a flathead screwdriver he found under the sink and a few choice words. July hit hard. Sweat drips down his nose as he tries to fix and not kick a heavy metal box down three stories.
In the small kitchen just a few feet behind his hunched back, Steve's popping more ice out and yelling at the radio - a Dodgers game has gone to shit.
Billy swipes his sweat-stuck curls back just to have all of them tumble right back in the way again.
Summers always leave Billy regretting growing out his hair.
He hadn't meant to. A couple months without a haircut grew into a couple years where a couple of half-assed snicks with the scissors he uses for zip ties and toe nails were all he made do with. Every year he forgets how much of it there is when summer arrives to remind him.
Snapping back up, screwdriver in a vice-grip, Billy yanks his hair back with both hands and yells FUCK YOU at the stained popcorn ceiling and his own mane fried with West Hollywood humidity.
"What's wrong now? What happened?" Steve has the honest nerve to say after over an hour of this.
"I'm shaving my head."
A deep sigh and Steve's opening some cabinet that creaks and needs to be oiled - the deal when they first moved in was Billy dealt with the electric shit and Steve got everything that wouldn't have him sizzling when he got distracted.
Plumbing means rock, paper, scissors comes out and goddamnit if Billy doesn't lose every single round.
He and the plunger have built a relationship.
Billy blames dying and coming back with fried nerves and a second-rate case of stigmata making his every joint he's got stiff, his hands getting the worst of it. He'd be a lousy second coming anyways.
"That time of year again, huh?" Steve says.
He stands behind Billy, swatting away his frustrated steel-grip to comb through Billy's curls, pulling them back and away.
"There are these things - they're called hair-ties," Steve gently pulls Billy's hair through elastic, "And I know you like using rubber bands because you're a freak," Slowly he winds Billy's overgrown hair around, "But these are, like, at least twice as good. Now, we just twist," He twists, "And twist some more and - boom! Done. I'm awesome."
Steve spins Billy around by the shoulders twice, his sweaty feet squeaking on the scratched up oak floors. He holds Billy in place, sweaty hands on Billy's sweaty nape, sweaty thumbs running circles, and it doesn't seem to matter much to him that the AC is broken and they're reaching the peak 90s on the thermostat.
Steve's looking at him.
All tender.
All sweet.
A little tipsy from better beer than they chugged in high school. It's been seven years since they hit the highway and left Indiana for good. Three more months and five more days and they'll hit eight.
"Oh no." Steve croons at him. Smile turning cotton soft. Those sweaty hands move to cup Billy's face and those running thumbs rub just under Billy's eyes. "Why are we crying?"
"It's hot." Billy says.
Pinching his ears around his piercings, Steve tells him, "You're hot."
Billy sniffles. Snot drips, meets his upper lip and Steve wipes it off - eight years worth of tears and snot and blood and spunk and so much sweat.
And so much fucking good shit.
From an open window in their cramped apartment, a slice of warmed July breeze catches on the back of Billy's newly bared neck. He tosses the screwdriver somewhere.
"And," Steve pecks him on the lips, bites at his nose to make sure Billy gets heat-stroke, "You've got a great ass."
The AC can wait a little longer.
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gotylocks · 11 months
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Willow Month 2023: Day 1- Favorite Character
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I feel like it's unsurprising for me to say Kit Tanthalos is my favorite character (she has been my pfp basically since the show started) but I'd like to talk about why. Growing up, I knew about Willow the movie but had never seen it for whatever reason. It wasn't until one random day scrolling on IG that I stumbled on an ad for the show, specifically the clip of meeting Willow for the first time.
Seeing Kit stopped me dead in my tracks. I was so immediately fascinated by her. The costume, the attitude, the hair, her... everything. I was as sold as possible and that only grew stronger once I actually watched the show. Scene one, episode one.
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This is the exchange that set the obsession in motion. Here was this girl in a fantasy setting who was cocky and charismatic, something I had been dying for essentially my whole life. It didn't hurt that she looked and acted like every DnD character or fantasy RPG video game character I have ever created. She was a dream come true already, and we were less than 5 minutes into the first episode.
And then, that magical moment happened. As Kit snuck into Jade's room to give her a goodbye kiss, I lost my mind. Something I've typically had to wait entire series to see, if that, and I would have to speculate the whole time, but this put it in the first episode. Kit and Jade were in love, no speculation, no bait, that's what the show was going to have at its core.
For Kit to have a more masculine appearance, to be canonically gay, it was life changing. And I consistently think "How is she such an incredible hunk?" A question I don't get to think about essentially any women in Hollywood. Like, look at her.
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Pictured: A bonafide, genuine hunk
But it didn't stop there, because her storyline was incredible too. Starting at that place of arrogance meant she had to be knocked down a peg or two, and that's exactly what happened. I've often said the alternate title for Willow could be "The Humbling of Kit Tanthalos", because she is brought down down down, past rock bottom, and then she has to rebuild herself to become the defender Elora needs and the partner Jade deserves. I truly think Kit has one of the most incredible, heartbreaking, beautiful stories I've ever seen.
But this has gone on long enough (yet I could go on even longer). When I say Kit is my favorite character, I don't just mean from Willow. I mean she is on my Mount Rushmore of all time favorites from anything.
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